Games with Names - “2014 BCS National Championship” with Bert Kreischer | Auburn vs. Florida State

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Bert Kreischer joins us in studio to relive the 2014 BCS National Championship and a whole lot more. Spoiler alert: this might be our wildest episode yet. Together, we relive his insane day at the 20...14 BCS National Championship between the Auburn Tigers and his beloved Florida State Seminoles. Bert joins us on the couch (3:53). We check out what was going on in the world back in January of 2014 (39:42). We check out each of these rosters (44:42). We get to the game somewhat, somewhere in here lol. We close it out by giving this one a score (1:35:11). Support the show: http://www.gameswithnames.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:26 on the new podcast Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeartTrue Crime Plus
Starting point is 00:01:35 only on Apple Podcasts. Today we have Bert Kreischer. Can you take my shirt off just for a second? To talk about 2014 DCS Championship, Florida State versus Auburn. I'll say this to you, I've seen a lot of amazing games. But without a doubt, this game stands out on the largest level for me for so many reasons.
Starting point is 00:02:06 One of the greatest football games I've ever seen in my entire life. Celebrate Seminoles! Game day. Wake up early and bong hits right away. As we pull into the Rose Bowl, I am beginning to be as high as I've ever been in my entire life. You look good. Do you do something with the shoulders. You have really good shoulders. What? Games with Names is a production of iHeartRadio. And welcome to Games with Names presented by Winbet. And on today's episode, boy, did we have a special treat jackie did we not oh my i think we gained a friend we may have gained a friend an actual friend someone that i could probably text
Starting point is 00:02:57 and we had burt kreischer on here boy to talk about the 2014 last, and last I mean by last, BCS championship against Auburn and Florida State, which Burke went to Florida State. From the Rose Bowl. In the Rose Bowl of Pasadena. Still haven't been there.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Live in LA. Want to go so bad. We should do a field trip, Jack. Oh, my God. I am there, baby. We should. He has so much insight on this game. You're going to be amazed.
Starting point is 00:03:34 His crazy, fun-filled day. Party buses. Party buses. All kinds of treats. Best friends. Other comedians. I mean, the stories that this guy gives. This was a two-and-a-half-hour podcast?
Starting point is 00:03:49 I mean, this could have had a two-be continued in it. This could have been a two-parter. We could have gone on for days. I mean, my podcast coach told me, yeah, you need to learn how to get out quicker. And I was like, I couldn't. Bert just wanted to keep going. So fun.
Starting point is 00:04:05 It was very fun. We get into his life at FSU, which I just learned is an epic party school. And he is like Van Wilder, who's based off of. We go in the Tales from the Road as a stand-up comic. Now those are wild. We also get into Tim Tebow and his circumcision skills. It's crazy what they let you do over in the Philippines.
Starting point is 00:04:28 It's nuts. The magic of the Rose Bowl. Honestly, everything in this game kind of twist. Plot twist. It was awesome. I can't wait for you guys to hear. Make sure to check us out. Games with Names on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and TikTok. was awesome i can't wait for you guys to hear make sure to check us out games with names on
Starting point is 00:04:45 youtube instagram twitter snapchat and tiktok at games with names subscribe on apple podcasts spotify wherever you listen to your podcasts comment a game you want us to do and rate and review i'm a poet and I didn't know it, Jackie. Smooth. Games with Names is brought to you by WinBet. WinBet brings the excitement of Win Las Vegas and Encore Boston Harbor to your phone. WinBet is for all types of bettors,
Starting point is 00:05:21 offering vigorous betting options and providing its players with a five-star experience. All right. Well, Jackie, you ready for this episode? Let's go. Let's do it. January 6, 2014, Rose Bowl Stadium, Pasadena, California.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Auburn versus Florida State Destiny vs. Perfection. Down 4 with 17 seconds left. Jameis Winston drops back. This is the 2014 BCS National Championship. Welcome to Games with Names, Bert. This is a podcast that we go over the greatest games of all time, the GOG, the greatest of all games. Today we have Bert Kreischer.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Nailed it. Bert nailed it. I nailed that one? Yeah. We all know him. He hosts a bunch of things. Two Bears in One Cave, BertCast, Something's Burning, Star of the machine go out
Starting point is 00:06:25 and watch it i just saw it it was awesome so let's jump in to what are you up what are you up to right now right now right now oh right now right now is an interesting time in my life i'm uh i'm getting ready for my my tour my tour starts september 14th And that's the Topsoff tour? Topsoff World Tour. I just wrapped up Fully Loaded. Fully Loaded, it's a festival I run, I own, and I take 27 comics out to like 18 cities. We get seven tour buses. We get seven semis. We bring our stage with us.
Starting point is 00:06:58 And it's just a party for the summer. It's like summer camp for comics. We go tubing. We take out speed boats. We do anything. We eat mushrooms. We drink. We go tubing, we take out speedboats, we do anything. We eat mushrooms, we drink, we smoke weed, everything. I mean, it was the
Starting point is 00:07:09 funnest tour I've ever been on. I've toured my whole life but it's with the best comics in the world in the biggest venues. We're doing it again next year. It'll start like June or July and then we close out at the Gorge. You ever been to the Gorge? No. Gorge is one of the most spectacular outdoor venues you'll ever go to. We're doing two nights of the gorge you ever been to the gorge now gorge is one of the most
Starting point is 00:07:25 spectacular outdoor venues you'll ever go to we're doing two nights at the gorge next year wow it's because everyone camps out so we'll do two nights that's got to be so fun because i i've been introduced you know we did this show a lot with sam morel and he's kind of you know introduced me a lot to the comic life and i'd always go see him at the cellar and there's always comics and anytime you probably have a bunch of guys that are super great friends and you get to go work together that's got to be like that's got to be awesome it's fun because like they we all have the same type of brain yeah like we all think silly we want silly we want to laugh so like at the end of the night we all get and we have a party bus
Starting point is 00:08:05 that we all that we rent and we all hang out in the party bus get high get drunk and just laugh and make each other laugh and there's always like someone like big j or they're like there's just always someone and then you get someone like a tell on there or joey diaz and nikki glazer it's your locker room it's your locker room it's like yeah it's like a locker room it's your locker room it's the best man and and then you get to watch them work and you're watching do the material and you're watching a murder and you're like wow it's really cool it is and what people don't realize like just being around you guys are constantly thinking constantly working yeah like your mind you guys are always dropping jokes in front of each other doing something or or like when i would be around sam he we'd be talking about something and his mind would be going to like sam doesn't stop yeah he's like him does not stop i can make that a bit you know i
Starting point is 00:08:54 mean it's like and it's crazy to just the how smart you have to be to be an actual comic like people think that people are just funny but like the storytelling and bringing something up in the beginning and then telling your whole story, cutting into jokes, and then bringing it back, I have so much respect for you guys. Just being a fly on the wall watching a lot of these guys perform. Oh, thank you. I mean, Sam is probably the best joke writer in the game right now. Everyone knows that.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Attell says it. Him and Mark Norman are good friends. Yeah. the best i mean the best sam's amazing he uh but yeah you're right like i like right now i'm getting ready for tops off so i'm doing weekends out in oxnard and and nights out at oxnard and and i'm just trying to and what's interesting is why oxnard i'm sorry to cut you off because i literally i just drove the coast literally a couple days ago. And I drove up there. And you can drive it to Oxnard. And the cowboys are there.
Starting point is 00:09:52 What's in Oxnard? Oxnard's beautiful. It's like a secret. Yeah. It's like, first of all, I mean, I like doing stand-up there because it's pretty working glass. So it's like performing in America. Yeah. So I go up there for the weekend.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And then I'll do spots at the, I'll do like an hour. hour and uh but yeah like it's crazy that when you talk about thinking it's like right now i'm i try to focus on a word a day and then write jokes around the word or a phrase uh and so i'll and so like i'm trying to write my hour for and i'm not drinking and i'm not eat i'm eating keto you look good. Thank you. Do you do something with the shoulders? Shut up. You guys are cunts. No. What are you talking about? You have really good shoulders.
Starting point is 00:10:36 What? I mean, you're a baseball guy. Are you in the TB12? He's not on this thing. Where did you say that? What are you talking about? Shut the tb12 you have good shoulders look at it i mean they're bulging out of there thank you very much i do a lot i do 175 on strict press well you're seeing the results. For you little kids out there,
Starting point is 00:11:08 you want to see results, you put 175 on the straight press, you're going to have some shoulders popping out. I'm working out pretty hard right now. You look good. Thank you. I can't tell if he's joking or not. I'm dead serious.
Starting point is 00:11:26 So, yeah. So, I'm eating keto. How is that? Keto. I love it. So, just meat. I love it. Dude, I'm pretty much.
Starting point is 00:11:34 I got to be honest with you. And butter. You can eat butter. Butter's in. I fuck up butter. I put it on a steak. Like, I. What about cholesterol?
Starting point is 00:11:42 My cholesterol's good. I'm on a torvastatin. So, like, I don't need to worry about it good I'm on I'm on atorvastatin so like I don't need to worry about I got no blockage in my heart I'm like I'm for a guy who parties as hard as I do I am super accountable to doctors I go to the doctors every six months doctor guy I go I get my I get I don't like it I got I'm getting a colonoscopy in a week you might like that I told told him, keep me awake. Do the front side too.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Spit roast me, boys. Yeah. Well, you know, you're seeing the results, and it's good that you keep up with your health. I mean, it's been crazy because as an athlete, I mean, it's been outrageous. I've been retired now going on three years this is two years going going into my third and you're so accustomed you have the best doctors around you every day yeah yeah anything goes down you know you're like we got a doc we got the ear doc you got the foot doc you got the knee doc you got the doc. I haven't seen a doctor since.
Starting point is 00:12:47 I'm like anti-doc now. Oh, I was with Joe Coy last night. I was like, how often do you go to the doctor? He goes, I have never been. And I was like, well, you can't never go. I was with, there's a great actor. His name's Jake Johnson. He's an awesome actor.
Starting point is 00:13:01 I had him on my cooking show. And then I was like hey my trainers i'm my trainer coming tomorrow you should come work out with me he's like hit me up he's drinking at that time i wasn't i was like and so we go to the he comes over and we work out and we do like a legit like i do i have a cross trainer come in we do heavy lifting clearly the shoulders good i mean that's where it is cross training he goes i go i go you ever been to the doctor he's like no i've never been and i'm like oh you can have a heart attack right now like yeah that's when is the age that it happens yeah it's yeah
Starting point is 00:13:38 yeah it there's so much technology out there but we got to get back into this is we're talking docs we're talking keto i want i want to know about your cooking show but we got to get back into this is we're talking docs we're talking keto i want i want to know about your cooking show but we'll get into that come and do it i i love cooking i cook for my daughter every week like that's whenever i have my kid i'm and it's the shit my mom made like stuff bell pep like very really stupid stuff easy stuff like put together stuff yeah but i i like i do a cooking show i I bring two guests on, I cook them a meal. Usually we drink, and do you drink? Oh, yeah, you drink.
Starting point is 00:14:10 I dabble. You do the show with Sam Rell. We drink. So we drink, and we just fucking laugh, and I just try to cook a meal. They usually turn out good, but I've had some stinkers. But, yeah, I— Like Jordan. What?
Starting point is 00:14:26 You miss the shots you don't take. Yeah. Sometimes you've got to take a – How hard is it, do you think, to get Jordan's autograph? I've got a Jordan story, which I've told it. Tell me, tell me, tell me. We're playing Super Bowl 2014. And I go to – you know, you have the night off on friday you usually take your your folks out
Starting point is 00:14:48 the week before the super bowl i took my folks to dinner i went to go see them and i roll up and i see derrick jeter and michael jordan and i'm like superstar struck i'm about to play in the super bowl and i go up and and you could tell jeter's a very charming guy welcoming you know i go mr jeter, Mr. Jeter, Julian Edelman, I'm playing in the Super Bowl. I felt weird introducing myself, but I wanted to meet him. And I saw Jordan. He was kind of like standoffish a little bit. And, you know, I start talking with Jeter and everything's good. And as soon as the conversation's about to end, like five minutes in,
Starting point is 00:15:24 I'm about to leave jordan comes up to me and he goes hey kid i got a bunch of money on you don't fuck it up and that's the only thing he said to me and and i like i go yes sir mr jordan i didn't know what to say but god uh yeah it was crazy but let's get into this 2014 bcs yeah bcs national championship at the rose bowl florida state versus auburn i'll say this too i've seen a lot of amazing games i was at the bucks first win at the home stadium when i was a child against the chiefs i or i think it was the chiefs or whatever i think it was chief Chiefs or whatever. I think it was the Chiefs. I was at that game and they stormed the field
Starting point is 00:16:08 and they pulled the goalposts down. And I remember watching that as a child. I must have been like seven, I'm guessing. Maybe eight. I remember watching that. I was at Florida State 96 when we beat the Gators. And we stormed the field and we stormed the field. I stormed the field once. It was like the coolest thing ever. How old were you there? I was 25.
Starting point is 00:16:32 I was at all the wide rights. I watched us lose to Miami. I talked to Warren Sapp about when I watched him go out and grab a piece of the Seminole head. And they just, with their hands, they ripped our turf up and just grabbed it and walked off the field with it.
Starting point is 00:16:52 I've been to some really epic fucking games. I have a great story about betting this kid. When the Rams came here and they played the Seahawks, for their first game, I bet a child 200 bucks that the Rams were going to win. And he said, I bet on the Seahawks. I said, what do you got? And he said, what do you want? I said, I want to cut your hair. And he was like, deal.
Starting point is 00:17:13 You might want to ask your parents. Tomorrow's the first day of school. And he went and asked his dad. And his dad was like, you got to figure it out if you want to make that bet. And they won, and I fucked him up. I cut his hair like Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder, right? So, like, I have a bunch of great games, but without a doubt, this game stands out on the largest
Starting point is 00:17:30 level for me for so many reasons. What made you go to FSU? Why are you such a big fan of FSU? You grew up in that area, right? Grew up in Florida and you either went to Florida or Florida State. That was it. Now Florida was like cool. What about Miami?
Starting point is 00:17:46 No one went to Miami. No one went to Miami. First of all, I say this. I would gladly talk slanderous about Miami, but it's a really hard school to get into. Yeah. It's like a private school. And so it's actually a really good school.
Starting point is 00:18:02 I've heard that. Yeah. But no one went to Miami. People in Miami, it's actually a really good school. I've heard that. Yeah. And so, but no one went to Miami. People in Miami, that's who likes Miami. Everyone in Miami is like, where University of Miami is up, they never went to Miami. They support the current hurricanes. If you're a regular person in Florida, you either went to UF or Florida. This is my age.
Starting point is 00:18:20 And there was a time in the 80s when florida was the coolest fucking thing around university of florida was so cool and i think i've always had this uh antagonistic view on life or at least a contrarian view and i i just thought florida state seemed sexier so then when i got into 12th grade 11th grade and i had to go look at colleges we went to florida and we had a great time partied our dicks off we had a fucking blast a couple of us hooked up we were like with college chicks we're like this is fucking crazy and then i went to florida state on a on a date function with a girl that went to florida state i got laid and and it smelled different than florida it smelled like the Northeast.
Starting point is 00:19:06 It was fall, so the leaves were changing. The dirt was different. It had red clay. And there were hills. And it was just like I was going to a different place than Tampa or USF or UCF or Florida. They were so sterile and flat and just non, with no personality. When you're a kid from Floridaida and maybe you'll understand this a little bit but like when you're a kid from florida you have no civic pride there's nothing about
Starting point is 00:19:31 florida when i was a kid that made you proud to be from tampa everything was built the same everything looked the same we were the king of strip malls like nothing really the bucks sucked we didn't have football we didn't have baseball we didn't have hockey we didn't have anything you weren't like you were like i'm from Florida and everyone made fun of Florida and then it yeah Yeah, and then and then you have Florida Florida State and when I went to Florida State I was like this is different than Florida. I feel like I'm moving out of the city and then my dad told me He was buddy. You're entering into a tradition He goes you're gonna you you're to experience something in a community.
Starting point is 00:20:08 And my dad loved Deion Sanders, loved Bobby Bowden. And I went to that first game. I swear to God, all my children, I had no concept what I was walking into. It was like going into an orgy on ecstasy. I was like, wait, what's going on? What's going on? When they spiked the spear into the center of that head and he reared back on on osceola and or on renegade and spikes the flaming spear i started sobbing crying and i was like i'd never
Starting point is 00:20:31 experienced what it must be like living in boston or living in northern california where you got civic pride like the yankees or the red socks or the patriots or like i just never had that yeah and when i once forced that i was like i am pot committed for the rest of my fucking life. I got early to every game. I watched the Spear go in every single game. I went to every single game we ever had. I mean, in the oh. You want to talk about like greatest moments we've ever had in our lives?
Starting point is 00:20:59 Oh. So I do the arena at Florida State. Sell it out. And before the show, they go, we want to present you with something. I'm like, oh, they're going to give me a doctorate, right? Cap and gown, here we go, Bill Cosby style. They give me the spear. They give me the spear, and they're like, and they don't know how much it means to me.
Starting point is 00:21:21 And I start sobbing, crying. I go up in front of, what, 13,000, 18,000 people. I do the show. I have a great show. Tell just Florida State stories. I mean, I'm so in the weeds on Florida State stories. Like, I'm saying street names. How many years did you play? Or you went there?
Starting point is 00:21:35 I was there in the 90s. I know, but didn't you? Seven. Seven years. Seven years. Yeah, yeah. Van Wilder. It was based off of you.
Starting point is 00:21:42 And then I grab the spear and i walk on stage and they turn their phones on dude i'll cry telling you i can't even tell it i'm just oh the place is just oh dude best moment of my fucking life dude i i mean i loved deon sanders growing up and so florida state and then then Miami with what they had going on. Oh, my God. The Miami team. Florida, see, when I was a kid, Florida wasn't as big in that 90 era. It wasn't.
Starting point is 00:22:11 It was 80. And then no one really – 80s, they were big. 90s, it was UF and Florida. Or Florida State and Florida State and Miami. Florida State and Miami. Those games were epic. I mean, and there was so much animosity.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Like, it was – Work done. I loved work done there was so much animosity. Yeah. Like, it was. Work done. I loved work done. He went to Florida State. Work done. I sat next to him at graduation. Did you?
Starting point is 00:22:32 I sat right next to him. And I had been written up in Rolling Stone. And he was going to play for the Bucs. And he was like, and work done is a very sweet but quiet man. Yeah, very. And he was like, you the party guy? I said, yeah. So you're going to the Bucs, huh? He was like, yes. I grew up in Tampa and he was like uh he's a party guy i said yeah so you go to the bucks huh he was like yes i grew up in tampa he's like nice i said if you want to like
Starting point is 00:22:50 if you want me to introduce you to any people in tampa like any of my friends like party and stuff and he looked at me he goes nah that's all i talked to this is all i talk to work. I've never spoken to him since. With NFL news happening around the clock, you'll never be left on the outside looking in on the Insiders podcast, featuring me, Tom Pellicero, along with Ian Rappaport, Mike Garofalo, Judy Batista, and NFL Network's team of experts. The Insiders has you covered with up-to-the-minute news from around the league. Our team of insiders and reporters bring you daily detailed team reports and analysis
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Starting point is 00:24:51 And who doesn't want that? Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, here we go. It's Cam Jordan from New Orleans Saints here to tell you it's going down on season two of my podcast, Off the Edge with me, Cam Jordan. Can't stop it.
Starting point is 00:25:11 You know what's going to happen. Can't stop it. That's right. Catch new episodes every Wednesday all season long. That's what you look for in year 14 to do more. No days off. And I'll have my friends who happen to be some of the nfl's biggest stars join me on the pod we'll give you a player's perspective of the biggest storylines trends and did that really
Starting point is 00:25:32 just happen moments from around the league and you know we'll have fun doing it oh and i'll have a special guest each month join me to mix it up a little bit. Who is it? None other than... Psych! You have to tune in to find out. So tap in to Off the Edge with Cam Jordan's podcast, your ultimate playbook for all things football and not football. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, when you watch... I mean, I clearly know.
Starting point is 00:26:04 When you watch the game, do you like to be at a bar? Do you like to be by yourself? What's your game day environment? What's the game day routine? It's changed. It's changed. It's changed.
Starting point is 00:26:16 So let's go back to this time, 2004. Let's go back to like 1995. Game day ritual. Game day. Wake up early. Wake up early. Did you go to bed with like the cleats on or something? No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:26:33 No, we partied all night. All right. Partied all night. Standard. Yeah. Wake up early and bong hits right away. Like right away bong hits. Wake and bake.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Wake and bake. Wake and bake. Everyone got just casual high and then you'd run errands. Like, away bong hits. Wake and bake. Wake and bake. Everyone got just casual high and then you'd run errands. Like, all right, we need some kegs. We got, are we going to make, are we going to have any food there? Frito-Lays.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Yes, and I was in an organization called Scout Hunters. And so, and I was like, I was in college so long I was on the panel of the ran Scout Hunters for like four years. And so we would have, we would host the party at a place called Indian Village right next to the stadium.
Starting point is 00:27:07 And so we put up a big Scout Punters sign. Anyone that was like cool at that time, it's still the same, at Tallahassee. Anyone that was like someone with a little leverage was a Scout Punter. So the coolest dudes in that whole school would show up to Indian Village. And we'd have probably like three different houses four different houses different fraternities but then the scout punters party was the shit and then say we had like a 1 at 1 30 game at noon game people are rolling in at nine o'clock and we have we start with a specialty cocktail like my buddy hutch would be like all right today it's harvey
Starting point is 00:27:39 wallbangers and so we'd be like oh we'll run through harvey wallbangers until we step into beer and so we get a nice buzz and then bong hits through the day like through the day until it was game time and then then this is really interesting people would load up on because you couldn't insert booze in the thing they'd load up on plastic bags and Jim Beam at the time
Starting point is 00:27:57 was what everyone drank and then they put them in their waist and then I would take lox and bagels and put them in my waist and then we would go in and bagels and put them in my waist and then we would go in and I would be what you'd call the patsy I would be the the mark and so I would go in very noticeably with a plastic bag in my waist and very nervous and making movements and touching my bag and the cops would be like we got one and they grab me and I'd be like hold on and I make a little thing and then and then everyone walks in everyone goes in and they're like sir can i see what's in your pants
Starting point is 00:28:30 and i go yeah sure they take you back then you'd open it and they're like what's that i was like i was like i just i don't know if they have lox and bagels and i'm starving for lox and bagels and my parents brought them in for the game and i just wanted to have like a bagel with some lox on it and they'd be like fuck go ahead. And then they'd let you in. And then we would go up and we would party our fucking dicks off. And it was awesome. It was, to this day, best Saturdays I'll ever have in my entire life. Best Saturdays I'll ever have in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:28:55 I always wore sunglasses because I cried when they threw the spear. I would always, I had a camera. I had a camera back then. I still take a lot of pictures on Instagram a lot, but I was into cameras. My favorite thing was I would yell to the stands behind me, my parents think I have a lot of friends. Can you guys join in for a group picture and just pretend you know me? I mean, like, I had so many because I was funny, but I didn't know how to do stand-up.
Starting point is 00:29:20 So I would just fuck around and have a great time at those games. And, man, and then I'd always leave a titch early. I'd always leave like, I'd always be like, we got it. I'm out. And then I stayed for that Florida-Florida State game. And I was going to talk to you about that once. It was one of the funnest games I ever went to because we stormed the field. But we stormed the field just because, and like we just, it was.
Starting point is 00:29:41 It's Florida. It's a rival game. Yeah, yeah. That's a stormer. Yeah. But. because and like we did it was florida it's a rival game yeah yeah that's a stormer yeah but uh so how does that how is that different from you know 2014 you you probably got a little couple benjamins in your pocket you could buy i buy four tickets four tickets i buy two
Starting point is 00:29:59 and find out they're in the end zone like I'm like, fuck. So then I buy. So then I buy. I buy four more. So I buy six total tickets. I reach out to my buddy. All my buddies I grew up with. Or like that I went to school with. I was like, yo. You're coming to my town.
Starting point is 00:30:17 We're partying. So everyone hits up. We're like, cool. We're going to meet at a hotel. Like the Roosevelt or something on Sunset. We're taking a party bus with a bunch of old Amdekais. These guys are like grown-ups. And I was a grown-up too.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I had kids and stuff, but I'm still young. I then find out I have two extra tickets, so I hit up my cameraman for Travel Channel, Tyler, and I hit up Tom Segura. Do you know who Tom is? No. Okay, Tom's the one who has a son that has the same name as you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:43 So Tom Segura does Two bears. One came with me. This is when we're, but Tom's the guy you do the, uh, the gift exchange. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Yeah. Yeah. And so, and yeah, I mean, you have a Hitler tea cup, you know, this is a pro Jewish podcast here.
Starting point is 00:31:03 We're not, we're anti cancel guy, of course, but like, how big is it? I have never seen it. Seriously, I'm very interested. Have you ever drank out of it? Is it big enough to have like a Lipton's iced tea bag in there? Or is it like a very properly 1940 genocide-y type? It's a steel teacup.
Starting point is 00:31:28 It's steel. It's steel. It's metal. So we tried to break it. You can't break it. You got to melt it down. My daughter's like, I want to melt it down
Starting point is 00:31:36 and turn it into a butt plug for a gay black man. I was like, you're getting off the internet now. So yeah, Tom is the guy that spent 20 grand on nazi memorabilia yeah so i invite tom to the game and i say listen i got two extra tickets are in the end zone sit with tyler i'm gonna sit with these guys i went to college with he's like cool i was like we're all meeting at the hotel so we meet at the hotel we start smoking weed like almost like old school game day my buddy
Starting point is 00:32:02 miles was there and at the time i was on travel channel so like i was on tv you couldn't be seen yeah and so it was like kind of cool because i'm i'm about to run i'm running into people i went to college with and i look successful i'm not like i am today like today like today i like i'm going to a florida state game versus syracuse and like i can't go out at something like that. It'll be fucking crazy. But back then, I wanted to feel accomplished. Because when you're a loser for like...
Starting point is 00:32:35 Sam would tell you, when you're a loser for so long, because you're just making no money, people kind of pity you. You want to feel it a little. And you want to feel it. So this is my moment to feel it. I get to go see people and they're like, la in la comic yeah out here you got your boys from florida no one knows to grow so girl's not famous at all no one knows sagura and you're going to the fucking rose bowl national championship is the best and my dad's a huge florida state fan
Starting point is 00:33:03 and he's in love with Jameis Winston. So we get on the party bus and Segura says to me, you want to take an edible? And I'm like, fuck yeah. There were these things called Chibichus back in the day. I don't think they make them anymore, but they were strong as fucking shit. Well, early day in the edible,
Starting point is 00:33:18 you never knew what the dosing was going to be. They got it dialed nowadays. Yeah. But back then, you could take something this big and you don't know where you are tom bites into half gives eddie takes a bite of of it and then i take the rest and as we pull into the rose bowl rest i am i am beginning to be as high as i've ever been in my entire life like i'm i beginning to like, and now footnote,
Starting point is 00:33:45 Tom Segura is one of the funniest dudes I know in the world in a very low key way. He's very subtle. His sense of humor, if you know him, he is hilarious without anyone else seeing it,
Starting point is 00:33:55 just you and him. Eddie, my buddy Eddie, is the funniest guy in the world, but not like a comedian funny. He's just like, he is like the guy that's goofy at a party funny. So we then go from party to party, tour bus to tour bus,
Starting point is 00:34:11 like RV to RV of all the girls I wanted to fuck in college. And they're all like, you have beautiful daughters. At the time, I'm on Instagram. Your wife is gorgeous. I'm so proud of you. We all knew this would happen for you. It's like the, it is, everything is picture perfect. perfect sidebar to this i've got to fly to zurich the next morning at at 6 a.m right i'm going to zurich to go hella skiing in switzerland that evening so like i'm
Starting point is 00:34:38 got i've got that's it that's us in the game that's us at the fucking game and that's me hella skiing the very fucking next day that's me hella skiing that's us on the game. That's us at the fucking game. And that's me heliskiing the very fucking next day. That's me heliskiing. That's us on the tour bus. Wait, where did you get these from? Your Instagram. Way back in the day. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Yeah, this is, I mean. Okay, don't, don't, don't look at any of these pictures now. Take them off the screen. Take them off the screen. Because it's a good story. So, I'm having a real come to Jesus moment of like, this is it, man. I made it. I made it. I'm married. I'm happily married. I'm on Travel Channel. I got a of like, this is it, man. I made it. I made it.
Starting point is 00:35:05 I'm married. I'm happily married. I'm on Travel Channel. I got a show that's getting renewed for two more years. I got money coming in. I'm really high, and I'm with my favorite human beings, like my best friends from college,
Starting point is 00:35:16 my best friend now, and everyone's gelling. Everyone's having a great time. And at the netty. Yeah, and we're going to kick their fucking asses like that's what i know i know with james winston this is a heisman james winston dude heisman heisman crab stealing james winston this fucking guy i to this day i root for him to this day when the saints played the other i was like come on man that guy. I love that guy. He went to the box.
Starting point is 00:35:45 He's rootable. He's a likable. You don't agree with a lot of the things he does, but for some odd reason, he has a likability to him. Yeah, definitely. I'm the same way when I see him play. I know he's going to do terrible, but I always want him to do well. I felt the same way about Tim Tebow. I loved Tim Tebow.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Tim Tebow, by the way, he was on our team. He was on our team for a training camp. And we had this guy, Nico Koudavidis. First day, he was the guy that held court in the locker room. This Greek guy from Connecticut, had the italian accent though and the first day tebow walks in and he's he he gives shit to everyone yeah everyone brady you look this oh you this and everyone just loved nico you know and the day fucking tim tebow walks and he goes hey tebow you mean to tell me you don't jack off? First thing he says to him, you don't jack off?
Starting point is 00:36:47 Like, everyone's rolling in the hot locker room, and he just, you know, Tebow, he's probably heard that so many times. He, like, turns red, and he's like, yeah. He's so famous, that guy, though. Oh, we walk. He gives, he circumcises kids in Vietnam or something. For real? Jack?
Starting point is 00:37:05 Philippines, I believe. Thank you. Sorry. That seems like a hobby. Circumcision still, yeah, still does it. That seems odd to do. He circumcises. I mean, I'm a Jew.
Starting point is 00:37:17 We like that clean. And I don't understand what he's doing, but that's... It feels like it should be illegal. I mean, it was all for the good cause of keeping infections out of these young boys i think that's what the root of it was so tebow was tebowing as we walk in this now that we're talking about tim tebow as we walk in to the rose bowl and we've had the best time ever. Game's getting ready to start. As we walk in, Tim Tebow walks by, and my buddy Eddie Fernandez, who's die-hard Seminole,
Starting point is 00:37:50 goes, Tim, Tim, Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow! Tim Tebow turns around, he goes, right in his face, and Tim Tebow goes, oh, fuck that guy. Didn't say that, but he just keeps walking. So everything is clicking. We are laughing. We are just laughing hard as fuck.
Starting point is 00:38:05 We get in to the, so the Rose Bowl was made, I guess, during the Civil War. Because this thing sucks. The tunnels are thinner than my dick. I mean, they're like literally, and it is. And that's when I had my first panic attack. We get in the tunnel and no one's moving. And we're like, wow, this is. Claustrophobia.
Starting point is 00:38:27 A claustrophobia. Just real when you're high. Yeah, and I'm just like, man, this is tight. And I remember Suguro's like, I'm going to split up from you guys. Good luck in that tunnel. And I was like, huh? And I'm already getting pushed into it. And Eddie goes, this is fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:38:40 We couldn't get out of here if we wanted to. And then I'm like, well, here we go. And we are in this tunnel for like the national anthem i mean it's just it i start spitting on legend what i don't know i was in the tunnel john legend i didn't i was in the tunnel i was uh you didn't even get to see nope ordinary didn't see anything didn't see anything we're stuck in the tunnel we're stuck in the tunnel. We're stuck in a tunnel. Did you see kickoff? I don't think we saw kickoff. Hopefully you were stuck in that tunnel for the first half.
Starting point is 00:39:09 No. We get up. We sit down. We get up. I go, now there's some space. I'm going to run down. I'm going to get hot dogs. I'm going to get beers. I got everyone.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Everyone's like, nice. I love stadium food. I loaded up. Hot dogs are in my pockets. What do you put on the hot dog? Just mustard? Everything. Mustard, ketchup. Relish? Relish, nice. I love stadium food. I load it up. Hot dogs are in my pockets. Where do you put them? Hot dog? Just mustard? Everything.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Mustard, ketchup. Relish? Relish. Yeah, everything. I wrap them up. I put them all in my pockets. Big pockets. I'm holding.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Big pocket guy. You put locks, bagels in there. I got hot dogs in every. I got two in each front pocket, two in the back. I got hot dogs for everyone. I got a pretzel. I got peanuts. I got cold beers for everyone. I got pretzel i got peanuts i got cold beers for
Starting point is 00:39:45 everyone i got everything i am locked and loaded take them back up and we start partying we start partying hard as fuck are you watching the game at this oh yeah i'm watching the game but we're starting to it's not going great no so we get to like we're laughing and i and i'm so high i have a moment where i'm like am i moving forward in my life or am i moving backwards this coming from the high that you just had that i'm having the best day of my life i'm having a panic attack i'm having a pack of sim now i'm having a panic attack in the tunnel and now i'm going am i moving forward or am i moving backwards my friends are like we should party harder let's go harder and i'm like yeah i got aik in the tunnel and now I'm going am I moving forward or am I moving backwards my friends are like we should party harder let's go harder
Starting point is 00:40:26 and I'm like yeah I got a fight in the morning and they're like where I go I'm going to Zurich and they're like oh shut the fuck up
Starting point is 00:40:32 I go yeah I go heliskiing so I'm watching the game and then all of a sudden we're down 23 to 21 to 3 21 to 3 second quarter
Starting point is 00:40:41 and my daughter calls me on my phone she's like what year is this 2014 she's 10 years old my oldest daughter Georgia she goes hey daddy
Starting point is 00:40:49 I was like what's up she goes what are you doing I said I'm with Hatterman and Eddie and we're watching a football game she goes oh she goes when are you
Starting point is 00:40:57 coming home I said after the game she goes what time is that going to be I said probably like midnight she goes well can you wake me up
Starting point is 00:41:04 when you get here so I can say goodbye to you? And I go, oh, what the fuck am I doing? I go, I have two beautiful kids at home, a wife at home, and I'm sitting here eating edibles. I'm high as fuck with my friends and we're drinking. I'm just drinking until I black out. I'm eating hot dogs. I feel sick to my stomach. Tom is in the end zone with this guy, Tyler. And I decide my life at home is more important than this moment. So I look over to the guys. I go, who wants a beer? And they're like, oh, fuck yeah. I was like, I'll go get beers.
Starting point is 00:41:35 And I walk down the stairs, out the tunnel, out of the Rose Bowl, and grab an Uber. I go, I don't tell a soul. I get in the Uber. He goes, where are you going? I said, Valley Village. He said, oh, how was the game? I said, I have this really deep conversation with this guy.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I'm pretty fucked up. And I go, I got to fly to Zurich tomorrow at like eight in the morning or whatever, six in the morning. My car's picking me up. I'm going to go spend time with my daughters. And he's like, really? I said, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:02 He goes, how was the game going? I go, we're losing. We're going to lose. It's not a big deal big deal i go my family's more important than this i said i'm moving forward in life i'm not moving backwards so i'm in the uber and i've made the right decision and all of a sudden i get a call from tom and he goes dude fake punt dude this is fucking crazy this is fucking crazy come meet up with me. Let's get a beer. This is insane.
Starting point is 00:42:26 I want to be next to you. And I'm like, I'm in an Uber. He goes, what? I go, yeah, I'm in an Uber. Why? What's going on? He's like, dude, we're coming back. And I went, what?
Starting point is 00:42:34 We're coming back? My wife calls. She goes, you're watching the best game of the fucking century. I go, I'm in an Uber. I'm coming home. She goes, what? You fucking idiot. You're coming home?
Starting point is 00:42:43 You're not seeing what's happening? I'm like, motherfucker. Oh, fuck. Oh, oh fuck oh fuck i was like hurry up get me to a bar the guy's like uh there's i can't stop anywhere man i can totally take you to where you said you can't change it in your app i'm too drunk to change it my app i'm like fucking go go go i get home my wife goes they just ran a touchdown a fucking a kickoff back i'm like are you fucking kidding me my daughter's like daddy jump on the trampoline i'm like go fuck yourself you're fucking ruining this for me i could be at this fucking game and so the last picture is me sitting with my family in my man cave
Starting point is 00:43:17 fucking missing the greatest game of my fucking life oh you left the game i had to write up i ended up here i couldn't be happier i left the fucking game to go fucking home to spend time with my family and sagura will never let me live it down he goes you missed one of the greatest football games i've ever seen in my entire life to hang out with people you'll spend the rest of your life with you pulled a walberg no no jack walberg didn't he didn't leave early 28 to 3 if you've been in one of those you've been in a luxury box yeah you ever eat those chili fries oh he shit himself he may have he may have he had to get out of there it's also you know in those boxes it's probably tough for someone like you got to be on you don't get to enjoy it sucks when you're i retracted i retracted sorry mark you guys have great fucking research
Starting point is 00:44:18 just for the record wait yes yes i would want to party with Kim Jong-un. Is that what this is about? No, this is, we go back to January 6, 2014, and we like to just talk about the pop culture of what's going on. You have two daughters, so you've seen. Oh, Frozen was. The number one movie, Frozen. I have a six-year-old. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and so she just hit the age now with,
Starting point is 00:44:40 like she doesn't want anything to do with Frozen because it's little kitty now. Did you have that stage? Is this normal? Like she doesn't want anything to do with frozen because it's little kitty now did you have that stage is this normal like she doesn't like pink anymore it's once she went to school oh god i fucking hate other kids they fucking creep in they really do a pure human and they ruin her and then they go like they'd be like uh you know there's no santa claus and then your daughter's like, hey, Dad, Sully said that there's no Santa Claus. And I'm like, oh, Santa Claus doesn't visit divorced parents. That's why Sully doesn't know Santa Claus.
Starting point is 00:45:12 And she's like, what? I was like, yeah, yeah, they couldn't keep a commitment, so Santa doesn't care about them. And then she's like, for real? I go, yeah, yeah, don't say it to Sully. Like, she just doesn't know. My daughter believed in Santa until she was like 15. Like, that's fucking old.
Starting point is 00:45:23 I'm getting that too already. You know, what's her name? I don't want to say it. Oh, what's her name? You said Santa's not real. Oh, dude. I fucked my kids up so bad. So when they were probably like 12, maybe 11 and 9,
Starting point is 00:45:40 they put a GoPro on the mantle. I watched them Christmas Eve. So I go, what are you guys doing they're like we're gonna catch santa and i was like santa's pretty slick guys and they're like dad he's not gonna know there's a gopro he comes out of the chimney we're gonna have him and i said well good luck so they go to bed i leave the guy i help him i put a big card in it and then we come in and we do the presents. But I edit all that out. I put it in my computer.
Starting point is 00:46:10 I edit all that out. I then edit out me walking underneath the fireplace, underneath the mantle. All they see is pitch black to pitch black. I'm already under the mantle. That's all edited out, me getting in there. I jump down with a bunch of bells. I have a white glove on. I'm already under the mantel. That's all edited out, me getting in there. I jump down with a bunch of bells. I have a white glove on. I reach up under the mantel.
Starting point is 00:46:29 I grab the camera and I turn it around. I then go around and start messing with the presents with bells ringing. And then I let the rest of the tape play out. And so that night, Christmas dinner,
Starting point is 00:46:40 George was like, we should see if we caught Santa. I was like, good call. Good call. I go, I'll upload it to my computer. It's already been uploaded. I already edited it all out so I pull it up I put it on the big screen at my sister's house I go let's see what we got guys and so now the whole family
Starting point is 00:46:52 is around my parents are not aware of how iMovie works so we play it and sure as shit I mean the dogs didn't move it's perfect perfect edit of night night night, night, night, then jingle bells, then the glove comes up,
Starting point is 00:47:07 and my dad goes, what the fuck is this? I go, I don't know, Dad, I think it's Santa. And he's like, hold. He goes, are you fucking kidding me? My sister's like, wait, how did you guys get this? And then she's like, everyone's looking around, and the girl's like, he's real. I go, I guess he is real.
Starting point is 00:47:22 They're like, he is smarter, Dad. Oh my God, we gotta tell everyone. And they, Mom, Nana. I go, I guess he is real. They're like, he is smarter, Dad. Oh, my God. We got to tell everyone. And they, Mom, Nana. They go into the kitchen. And my dad goes, is Santa real? And I go, I don't know, Dad. It's me.
Starting point is 00:47:34 And he goes, why the fuck did you do that? And I go, I just edited it in the program. My sister is like 30. She goes, you edited it in the program? I go, yeah. My dad goes, oh, buddy buddy i think you might have just fucked your kids up i go what and he goes that's he goes that's he goes i'm fucking 70 and i'm believing in santa right now he goes and i go is that was that a bad idea and he goes yeah you
Starting point is 00:47:59 gotta tell them there's no santa right now and we didn't. And so George is 15 years old. She's in her bed. And Isla goes, Isla, lose some tooth. He goes, is the tooth very real? And I was like, and you see George who's reading a book, lower the book, and her eyes go over. Kids in her class are finger fucking and vape petting, right? And she's leaving Santa. She's like, she has her fucking permit. She can drive a car.
Starting point is 00:48:23 And she's like, wait, Santa's not real? And I was like, oh, fuck. I'm sorry, baby. Yeah, she started smoking weed that year. Oh, my God. That just gave me so much. 15 and vaping and what you just said with the six-year-old. We'll be right back after this quick break.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Games with Names is brought to you by WinBet. WinBet brings the excitement of Win Las Vegas and Encore Boston Harbor to your phone. Join WinBet today and bet with the official online gaming product from WinResorts. Whenever I'm back home in Boston, you'll catch me at the Encore Sportsbook or on my WynnBed app, of course. Let Jack set the stage. Oh, should we run through these teams real quick?
Starting point is 00:49:17 Let's see it, Jack. All right, so we got Auburn. Team of destiny this year. They'd beaten Alabama, like we said earlier, on the kick six. Chris Davis runs it back 109 yards. They beat Georgia on a Hail Mary prayer. They'd been 3-9 the year before.
Starting point is 00:49:31 No one expected anything from this Auburn team. Then, sure enough, they beat Johnny Football in Texas A&M. I just DM'd him. I've been texting with him. Did you watch his Untold? Yeah, I was. It's really interesting. I have a lot of thoughts about it because I've watched texting with him. Would you watch his Untold? Yeah. It's really interesting. I have a lot of thoughts about it.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Because I've watched people quit comedy. Like quit. And be like, it's not for me. I can't wrap my head around that. No. I'm obsessed with comedy. I'm obsessed with comedy. But I watched him say, you know, he never watched any game tape.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Which is astounding. It was apparent. Yeah. Yeah. When you watched him play. Yeah. In the league at least. Yeah. never watched any game tape which is astounding and like it was apparent yeah yeah and when you watched him play yeah and the league at least yeah and i kind of find that fascinating like that he that he was like i don't want to play pro football yeah that i was a guy that had to go the long way yeah you know i wasn't given anything so like me, in theory, looks at a guy like him and says, that's a complete waste of life.
Starting point is 00:50:29 And to see with the mental struggles and everything that he went through, I watched the doc, and, you know, I feel better for him. Yeah. But, like, that whole situation. You know, I saw him once, too. I just won a Super bowl johnny football big league me big league me i'm like ever since then i was like f johnny football yeah i know we've crossed past a bunch we got multiple like friends that are cross-pollinated and stuff but like you know
Starting point is 00:51:01 it just it confirmed it when you don't watch, like, there's a lot of people in Ohio, Northeast Ohio. I went to school at Kent State. These fucking people love football. These people work nine to fives, working at tire shops, middle America people. Yeah. That have no money.
Starting point is 00:51:21 This guy's getting paid millions of dollars, and you're not going to invest one bit of time in for that team that's fucking cheering you on that loves like i know that's stupid to say no no it happens in comedy and i say that when i say like i don't think there's anyone there's probably people that don't know me that don't know this but like i i earned my way into arenas like i worked my way i didn't i wasn't given it i wasn't the guy written up in variety magazine i mean now i am but like i was never the top 10 comics to watch i didn't get you're written on a sitcom i've been written up in everything now but like i did the cover of spirit magazine really 2015 oh no big no big do you have painted fingernails? Painted toenails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My daughter.
Starting point is 00:52:05 You will too soon. You will too soon. Get ready. Girl dad to the core. And so, but I understand that. And I watch comics who get given everything. They just are like, I don't know, for whatever reason, they got put in like the catbird seat.
Starting point is 00:52:21 And now, and everyone wants them. And then when they get ready to do a netflix special they do like yeah i did a couple weekends i got i'm going out i'm doing like a month dude when i get ready to do a netflix special i go out i start is i mean the whole thing starts i won't commit to one until it's 18 months out but like i when I'm getting there, it's like eight months of not going home. It is. And it's watching tape every night. It is,
Starting point is 00:52:49 it is breaking down bits, thinking I'm not good enough, going to doing clubs, doing, I'm like, I'm on, I am fucking there. So I understand that like,
Starting point is 00:52:59 like what, and especially even like, and I know, you know, like, and you see the struggles that he went through and all that. I mean, but there's also like, and I know, you know, like, and you see the struggles that he went through and all that. I mean, but there's also like my grandmother was a single grandma with three deaf kids in 1955 with $500 in bills and $300 in your bank account.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Deaf. My, my dad's, yeah, my dad's brothers and sisters are all deaf. Different deaf. No, they have different dads.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Where did you grow up again? Bay area. Oh your dad deaf? No, they had different dads. Where did you grow up again? Bay Area. Oh, for real? Redwood City. Oh, Redwood City? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Yeah, I used to do stand-up a bunch there. Yeah, where? God, I wish I remembered the exact names of the places, but Sacramento and San Francisco, there was a guy that owned a club in Sacramento, so there were these great outdoor parks, outdoor amphitheaters all around there, so we did them all around there yeah and so that's when I first started I did a lot of shows up there yeah it was it was an awesome place to grow up I loved it yeah you know we had the
Starting point is 00:53:53 Niners like you were talking you only had Florida State growing up you didn't have Tampa we had Niners we had Barry Bonds when he was Barry Bonds with the fucking size eight and a half head. Dude, he would see one pitch a week, and it'd be in Willie McCovey Cove. One pitch a week. Did you get recruited to play baseball anywhere? No. Really? No. What position did you play?
Starting point is 00:54:14 Short. Really? Yeah, I broke my back my senior year. Playing football? No, baseball. How'd you break your back? Overuse. I had a stress fracture in my like l5 just from swinging taking
Starting point is 00:54:26 cuts swinging for the fences that could happen yeah shows you how bad my swing is and then i quit and like it healed up and i went to college of san mateo to play junior college football really yeah you play junior college football i didn't know that could work it does that's crazy because i remember hearing people stories of people going to play junior college football? Juco. I didn't know that could work. It does. That's crazy because I remember hearing people, stories of people going to play junior college football and I was like, ah, they'll never.
Starting point is 00:54:51 And then you got... There's a community of us that, I mean, Ocho Cinco went to junior college. Who else, Jack? Tyreek Hill. Tyreek Hill. Really?
Starting point is 00:54:59 Tyreek Hill. A lot of bounce backs. A lot of guys that couldn't get grades. Aaron Rodgers went to Butte. Oh, really? Yeah. In Northern California, there's a huge junior college football program thing going. Because a lot of the guys...
Starting point is 00:55:14 It's such a big state, there's a lot of guys that get overlooked. Much like Florida. Aaron Rodgers is from up north. He's from Chico. Okay. He's from up north, like three hours north of me. Like Chico State. You know Chico State. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chico State was fun. Okay. He's from up north, like three hours north of me. Like Chico State. You know Chico State.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chico State was fun. Fun. We got to get back. Jack, where are we? Let's run through Florida State real quick. Yeah. Just to give some shine to the Knowles.
Starting point is 00:55:37 This team, 2013 season. Look at the scores. Insane. Just a wagon. Average margin of victory, 42 points. You got Jameisis like we said jalen ramsey this was the jimbo era brian stork got red lightning even the ball boy was famous yeah you remember red lightning you got the light in his face are you good i'm perfect you're right
Starting point is 00:55:58 i'm perfect i have beautiful blue eyes you know what that tells me what the lord's watching me no the keto it's creating a presence and confidence I'm in a good place right now I feel very good about myself feel very alive you see you're moving forward I'm moving forward right now I actually actually last night I felt like I took a step back and I got I got held up by it yeah I was high last night too though and so I was like. California sober. Oh yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Mushrooms and weed. Yeah. Yeah. I can. Yeah. Only reason I think I'm not drinking is just to lose weight. Yeah. I was thinking about smoking a joint when I got done here and driving through the hills. But then I was like, I should be sober for the ride.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Yeah. Yeah. Why did you pick living here? I was just curious. I like the west side west side vibes it's really beautiful it's nice it's quite i got a six-year-old i'm in a cul-de-sac it's nice you know like i got some yard i i fell in love with the house you know it's it just i lived in brentwood i lived in brentwood like 10 years ago so Brady the reason why I lived in Brentwood
Starting point is 00:57:06 Brady you know had the big mega house that he sold a Dr. Dre no I didn't know about it well he he lived in Brentwood like 10-15 years ago with Giselle and they they built this insane home and then they rented this other house that was on men off mandeville it was an unbelievable house too probably like 15 million dollar home and his assistant ben lived in the house because they finished that house but they still had a year lease on the other house yeah and i was couch surfing when i first got in the league like living in marina del rey because i i moved out here to be around him to throw with them oh yeah you know you know you that time, he really wasn't calling me. And so Rawitz, we were friends.
Starting point is 00:57:50 He goes, yo, come live in Brady's other house with me. Just don't tell him you're here. And that house was on the way to the other house. So, like, he would come in, and I'd have to, like, hide. And I just had a lot of great memories. I loved being in Brentwood. It's quiet. My daughter, she lives over a few towns east, so I like it.
Starting point is 00:58:15 It reminds me of Northern California a little. I love this area. It's funny, especially when you're – because I've lived here for almost 24 years, and I've been poor here years and i've been poor here and i've and i've been rich here and it's funny once you get rich and you realize you can live anywhere you want yeah you can live anywhere you start driving around places and then you start going oh i actually can't live anywhere like you could because you can live in the valley i can
Starting point is 00:58:40 live in the valley easy i have a big house yeah but then i was driving from because i was in like venice and i was driving through santa monica and i was like hey maybe i could buy a house over here and then i was like the fuck like this it's gorgeous and i'm like these are all 15 million dollars yeah and i was like holy shit like i can't live here like i can't live anywhere around here yeah yeah it's i'd love to live i'd love to live in malibu like if my wife and i if my wife gets hit by a car and like and i have to figure it out i'll move to malibu i'll sell everything move to malibu kill the dogs you know malibu i would love to live there too but it's just you know i'm co-parenting so you gotta be semi-close yeah and that's like you can't deal with that traffic
Starting point is 00:59:24 dude i'd be such a great you gotta like if you live in mal And that's like, you can't deal with that traffic. Dude, I'd be such a great parent. You gotta like, if you live in Malibu, you can't leave Malibu. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm cool with that. Which is great. Yeah. But like,
Starting point is 00:59:32 you know, I have a child. I'd be such a great co-parent and not like full-on parent. Because that's kind of what I do anyway. Yeah. But like, I get the moniker of like a full-time dad.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Yeah. I'd be a great divorced dad. Co-parenting, I mean, it's so normal now. It's normal. When I was a kid, it was like, oh, God, he's got to go with his dad. And now you're like, no, no, no, it's the best of both worlds. Honestly, like. Because when you're with your daughter, you are 100%.
Starting point is 01:00:00 I'm guessing you're 100% present because you're getting your time. And you're making it quality time you're getting your time. Yeah. And you're making it quality time. For me, I was always with them. So I was like, fuck, we'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. And then you like – and then especially when you're broke and you're trying to hustle, I would feel guilty spending too much time with my kids because I go, well, I'm not working.
Starting point is 01:00:23 I need to work and make money for these kids. No, it's – do you want a different situation yeah of course you do but like it's exactly what you said like i grew up with a mom and dad that were together my dad was always working my mom was raising us yeah like when i have my kid i'm making her dinner i'm doing all the things my mom used to do with me you know so i put it's like it's just different yeah you know what i mean it's i'm blessed and fortunate enough to be in the situation where i don't have to you know worry crazy about like financially what's going down so that gives me a luxury of doing other things but it's crazy too but like because i think about like i think about you driving a lot driving over over here and I go, cause I remember when you started the podcast with Sam and I was
Starting point is 01:01:08 like, oh cool. And then you popped up, I don't know, I'm sure you know this, but you popped up a bunch lately, like on, in my feed, random. And you're really good on mic. And then I go, oh wow, how cool to be in a situation where you get to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. Because not everyone gets that. I figured out what I wanted to do,
Starting point is 01:01:30 but I didn't get to do it great until you got to work to get there. It's cool that you are at a place. I was thinking about this a lot, where you get to go like, do something like this. It's so neat to see so many different dudes. And I said about Bustin' with the boys uh pat mcafee aj hawk like all these great talents on the field blossom off the field it's it's awesome
Starting point is 01:01:54 it's unbelievable and those guys are on a whole nother level but it's also it's also tough you know because you love doing this i love doing this i love going out and talking stories and that's why we started this podcast and looking for the best game and all that but i've been a creature of habit since i was eight years old where i've had the same schedule you get up you go to school you practice you come home do homework the school was substituted with football school where you're learning your team. Yeah. You know, once you get into college and then pros, it's all football. I've had that same schedule since I was eight years old.
Starting point is 01:02:32 And now you really don't have to, you know, if you're not dumb. Yeah. You don't have to think about money. Yeah. If you're not dumb. You know, there's always, you always have to think about that. But I was blessed where I had, I got to live out my dream. Yeah. If you're not dumb. You know, there's always, you always have to think about that. But I was blessed where I got to live out my dream. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:49 I lived everything I've ever wanted to do. That's crazy. Everything. Do you realize zero? But it's hard because now, you know, how do you, like, in my child, now I'm around, and that fills my void of of where my heart is but i i was like a mercenary for fucking 15 14 years that like my body clock like at the big like right now like i feel like i'm i'm i'm late on on in shape for the season i feel i already have the anxiety you know and you know now you you get to do whatever you want so like you have to you have to like make
Starting point is 01:03:26 your routine and be positive with your time because you have so i've never been accustomed to having time so what do you what does your day look like like do you do you work out in the morning yeah so i'm when i had like so this morning i'll wake up at six because i have my daughter you know i have my daughter monday tuesday wednesday i'll wake up when i have her i wake up at six i've always been an early bird i'll let her sleep i'll make her lunch i'll make her breakfast then i'll wake her up i'll get her clothes out dress her do her hair and then i'll go take a dump because i you, you know, that's always been my routine. You know, you wake up, you put a dip in, drink a coffee, take a shit. And so I'll take her to school.
Starting point is 01:04:10 I'll go to the gym right after and nine to 1030 I'm at the gym. I come back and usually we're doing stuff for this. I'm preparing for, you know, I'm doing Fox morning show this year with, you know, the Fox. So it's that I'm starting to get in and I digest content all day. I'm digesting football, literally, because I want to hear I want to hear people's take. So I listen to a lot of people's shows, Colin Coward. I'll listen to PMT. I'll watch Pat McAfee just to get you got to know the guy's names you know and the headlines and what they're doing so
Starting point is 01:04:46 you can put your spin and bring your perspective so like it's literally that all day and then come home and and pick her up and then you know now i have to you know i make dinner and then you know do it again the next day wow yeah that's kind of yeah but then i have like a completely where like where i'm not with my kid and it's a completely different life do you have friends yeah like out here yeah I was out here for like oh you were out here for a while for in the off seasons for like since 2010 really yeah so I've got a lot of friends out here you know that's interesting it's fun that's crazy i i can't imagine you're 35 37 at 37 i just started working for travel channel yeah i just started working for travel channel
Starting point is 01:05:32 i just had i'd had like my kids were babies babies god man your life's gonna be so fun hey it's been great you know but i i have have like I'm I have this whole thing happily miserable. Like it's like I need to be in a miserable mindset because any time like I remember in 2015 or we just won a Super Bowl. I was that year and then going into the next year, I'm sitting there. I just bought my condo in boston i'm redoing it i'm sitting up there i'm having a career year i'm sitting here like man this shit's easy like you know this is fucking i'm i i i it was the first time i sat back and i like cherished the moment like this is fucking awesome you know i got everything everything's working out you know and then two weeks later i
Starting point is 01:06:26 break a foot you know like so anytime i've ever felt that way yeah you know same thing uh i'm having a kid oh shit like thought like the world was great you know which it became yeah but it wasn't a planned thing if we all you know you what I mean? So anytime I'm in like a happy sense of mind, it's like I can't be there. I got the same fucking thing. The second I sit and smell the roses, I start sneezing. And so I'm like, fuck this. And so I look at like, yeah, I think it keeps you hungry. And I think, you know, people always go, Bert, they always say to me, when's enough enough?
Starting point is 01:07:13 And I go, never, never. And they go, can you maintain this pace? Yeah, 100%, until I die. And then one day I'll die. And if I die doing what I love, then I'm a happy man. Like, I love doing stand-up. I look at the empty seats people go you sold out Red Rocks already your crew sold out in 24 hours or you're all
Starting point is 01:07:30 these things like about this tour this fall tour that I have on tops off I just look at empty tickets that's all I look at is empty tickets I can't get too comfortable and when I get good things like uh like uh like a Hitler teacup like myler teacup like my hitler teacup that's a good thing for you i guess it's a lot of people it's yeah yeah well it's cool memorabilia well when i have you over on the cooking show we'll have tea and i'll put five cups out you won't know which one what is that like when you get a sushi joint you get the wasabi sushi which one has the wasabi in it oh this one gen just had a genocide on it but like like when we bought when we bought our last house or current house uh i uh i felt i couldn't really enjoy it because I was like
Starting point is 01:08:26 my wife's like we did it and I'm like no stop with that we haven't done it yet like you didn't do shit like you're fucking kicking your feet up you should be fucking finding carpets and so I couldn't get comfortable in it
Starting point is 01:08:43 I wasn't comfortable using Instagram so I felt guilty about my backyard find, I couldn't get comfortable in it. And I didn't want to be comfortable using Instagram. So I felt guilty about my backyard. And then I did, one day I did post in my backyard. And like my buddy Jay Larson hit me up and he's like, how big is your backyard? I'm like, fuck. And then so I was, and then, or like I can't get, I have a hard time getting new cars. Like I just feel like if you get, I heard a story about a dude who bought a Ferrari and then the next day bad shit happened to him.
Starting point is 01:09:07 And I was like, fuck that. We're in LA right now. This is Grand Theft Auto out here. It's like the video game. I see a police chase. I see people getting pulled out of cars regularly. Yeah. I drive a Tesla.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Oh. I thought you were going to drive a truck. I'm not a truck guy. You look like a truck guy. It's just the beard. Yeah. It's the beard. I didn't know you were going to drive a truck. I'm not a truck guy. You look like a truck guy. It's just the beard. Yeah. It's the beard. I didn't know you were Jewish.
Starting point is 01:09:28 Yeah. Do you have a bar mitzvah? No. Not really? Not really. No. Is your dad Jewish or your mom? My dad.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Oh, your mom isn't? Yeah, so technically. Dude, I just talked to someone else about that yesterday. Dude, I just say? But, you know, to put it in your terms, you know, Hitler... In my terms? Well, I mean, Hitler would kill you if you had one grandparent Jewish. So technically...
Starting point is 01:09:56 Well, Hitler technically was Jewish, but I think it was his dad. So then he was like, I go by the old rules. Was he? No, no, no, no, no. Just the mom has to be Jewish. No, yeah. No, I practice. I speak with my rabbi and shit.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Do you really? Yeah, every Friday. Rabbis are badass. Rabbi Hamilton, he's... Me and my dad will hop on a call with him every Friday. For real? Yeah. It's a good learning experience.
Starting point is 01:10:22 Who was I just talking to yesterday who's jewish but it's his it's their oh uh there's a oh greg warren yeah do you know greg warren no dude he is so fucking funny is he he's got a new special called the salesman he is just old school and i know you'd like him because i haven't heard you curse yet he doesn't really i swear i say fuck all the time but you say f you like you you definitely i'm just feeling the vibe out okay oh i mean i like to swear already yeah but that's is that that's that's usable yeah oh hardcore yeah yeah yeah i mean i don't i don't yeah i've been saying it for i've been i was saying it when you weren't supposed to be saying it yeah Yeah, I was still saying a lot It's very English though. It's like the English people use cunt a bunch. Yeah
Starting point is 01:11:12 It's like a real bad English. It's that's where I picked it up because I was hanging out with these guys Yeah, they always say that shit. Yeah, we did coke in South Africa once. And it just, two things. When we did Coke, they were like, do you want to get sorted out? And I went, well, yeah, sure. I don't know what that is. And then they cut a line of Coke. I was like, oh, shit. I guess I'll be saying that forever.
Starting point is 01:11:34 And then they said cunt, and it got stuck in my mouth, and I can't get it out. All right, let's get back to the Seminoles. Jalen Ramsey. Yeah what he's a stud they had a lot of big names yeah davante freeman we played him in that 28 to 3 super bowl against the wings of the atlanta falcons two years after this really he scored a touchdown rob ninkovich didn't keep the edge rob and then he i think he scored two touchdowns didn't keep the edge, Rob. I think he scored two touchdowns. Didn't keep the edge, and then it was a running back out in the flat. It's interesting how you remember that.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Just like you were saying, you think about the ticket sales you don't have. I think about the shitty plays that we didn't make. Really? I don't think about, like, everyone asks the 28-3, oh, that catch. I think about the third down that I dropped, you know, coming out of halftime. i think about the third down that i dropped you know coming out of
Starting point is 01:12:25 halftime i think about bad sets all the time yeah it's and like mistakes i think about conversations i have with people i was just fighting with sagura i was not fighting with him but like arguing about a dude who was a last i was actually a guy was a last night yeah and i called told sagura about it and he was like yeah that guy fuck that guy. Yeah, the mistakes. You think about them. Like when I watch this game, I think of Jameis being Jameis in the first half. Yeah. You know, you got the fumble, not really executing.
Starting point is 01:12:54 And then the second half becomes famous Jameis stealing crab legs. Yeah. Did he steal? What's that story? You know that? Yeah, I think here's the deal is there was a big hookup for our athletes at our school so like they would come in and they would know someone there and the guy would you know take fucking crab legs put them in the thing i didn't see anything
Starting point is 01:13:14 and then there would always be some snitch dude who grew up in tallahassee who had like like this is my city no one's gonna fucking i know sheriff, who probably was like, no, I don't care who you are. And so they arrested him. I think Jameis Winston was like, hey, the guy kind of gave him to me, but whatever. Like, fine, I guess I'm in trouble. I'm watching the thing about how many people got arrested on the Gators. Like, they said 48 of the people on the team got arrested. I played with like 13 of them.
Starting point is 01:13:42 Yeah, that's right, you did. I played with Hernandez. I play with jermaine cunningham i play with tebow we had them all yeah there's always we always had a pipeline of like the best talent you know you don't belichick you know he was close we for like three years we had a lot of florida guys and then it went to we were starting to get the saban guys really yeah it's weird we had a lot of florida guys i i would i never believed i know this sounds crazy but like even when it was proven like there's certain things where i go uh is the is he getting railroaded by the media because what aaron hernandez yeah i mean there's a stick of bubble gum in the murder weapon.
Starting point is 01:14:25 Yeah. It didn't look good. Yeah. And they had, yeah, is it an ongoing case? I think he was like, I'm done. Yeah. Well, I know he's gone. Yeah, he's gone.
Starting point is 01:14:38 Yeah. I know. I don't think he's going to. Terrible. He was actually, I mean, it was sad. He's a good looking dude. If Aaron, okay, can I ask you a weird question? If Aaron Hernandez doesn't kill that dude and doesn't go to prison, do we get Gronk?
Starting point is 01:14:55 We don't get me. Oh, for real? Oh, yeah. Oh. The year he. So there is a glass half full in every case. No, that's a terrible situation for all parties, but I did do well off of it. Honestly, that year Hernandez gets arrested.
Starting point is 01:15:16 Gronk breaks his back. Yeah. They sign Amendola. He got hurt. Danny Amendola. Holy shit. I remember him. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:23 And then they're like, and I was there. I didn't have much stats or anything, and they didn't want to give me the keys or anything, but they had no choice, and then I took it and ran. Yeah, literally. It's crazy to watch someone. You'll never, maybe you'll see it, but like to watch people pop, like where the name just comes up.
Starting point is 01:15:46 I know that I'm probably saying this wrong. Is it Cooper Cup? Cup. Cup? Cup. I was there when he first started playing for the Rams when they came here. And I remember not knowing much about him. And then there's a couple passes, then a couple more passes.
Starting point is 01:16:03 And then all of a sudden you hear the stands like, Go to fucking Cup. And it's crazy to watch that happen. and then watch just a couple passes, then a couple more passes, and then all of a sudden you hear the stands like, go to fucking go. And it's crazy to watch that happen. That happened with the male cheerleaders too. The male cheerleaders for the Rams. I watched that energy happen for Cooper Cup and for the male cheerleaders because they brought male cheerleaders.
Starting point is 01:16:19 And at first, all the dudes in the stands were like, what the fuck? And then... Athleticism. They can get them up. No, no, no, no, no, no. They can do flips. They're not doing that.
Starting point is 01:16:28 They're just dancing. And all of a sudden, one dude goes, oh, that guy can fucking dance. And I'm like, yeah. And then you realize, oh, he's got to be the best dancer in the world to make it as a guy on a chick. All these chicks are phoning it in with their tits and their ass. This guy's in shorts and a collared shirt like fucking bring it, bring it, bring it. And now we're like, step up your game, ladies.
Starting point is 01:16:52 Your jobs are not safe. I'd rather watch a bunch of dudes out there giving their all than a chick like, I've never worked for anything and I'm a cheerleader. And these guys, and that same game, we were like, dude, these fucking guys are badass cooper cup male cheerleaders just they they went off at the same time i'll always remember that i i know coop i just saw him i went to the training camp practice recently
Starting point is 01:17:18 really me and coop used to run routes together over in uh golden west community college really yeah he's a stud is that what you guys call getting tail what i'm running routes at the bar the other night no i think he's mormon with oh shut the fuck up i think he's mormon mormon is he mormon jack i'm like 99 sure let me look he's mormon i love mormons i have fearless they're fucking fearless they're fearless and i have a lot of mormons in life. One of my agents is a Mormon. You know, I had one of my body guys was a Mormon. Like Mormons are like the nicest people in the world.
Starting point is 01:17:51 The nicest people. And you can trust them because they're not getting fucking wasted. No. I've been. Don't give them a caffeine though. Oh, and don't give them. And they will definitely slide you a Xanax. They don't have a problem with Xanax or pills.
Starting point is 01:18:03 Yeah. And I've been kicked out of three Buffalo Wild Wings all in Utah. They got a standard there. You're not allowed to stand up and drink. Did you know that? I know it's a dry city, dry area. Oh, yeah. If you stand up with a drink, stand up with a drink, you're out of there.
Starting point is 01:18:23 Gone. The first time time i didn't even realize what was happening the second time i was like let me see if this worked again the third time i was like fuck them i'm standing and they can do what happens i recently i went to that ufc in utah it's their salt lake it's it's cool salt lake's awesome it it was a lot more diverse than i thought it was gonna be oh yeah a lot of hawaiians dude there's a lot of well a lot of the polynesians are all more about a lot of that's a crazy fit like that's like that's like colonialism at its base like you think like because everyone preaches against colonialism you think they'd be like oh man we should go back to our old shit. But, yeah, there's my fucking trainer is Polynesian. My trainer's Polynesian, and she's a Mormon.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Yeah. I mean, we'd always have, because a lot of the Polys, they went to College of San Mateo, my JUCO. Oh, yeah. And they'd be coming to JUCO at, like, 25 years old because they had to go on the missions and shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're really about it yeah they're really about it they're really about it great people that's crazy but now so we would go over the games so you didn't see the the fake punt didn't see anything that was good you didn't see all i saw was a sucking and I gave up and I went home
Starting point is 01:19:45 and then I sat on a trampoline with my daughters jumping angry and listened to my wife cheer for the game and then finally I was like let's just go in and watch the end and then we all took a picture and I had to post I am so much happier here than there
Starting point is 01:20:01 and then I got on a plane and I went heliskiing the next day and I almost died heliskiing And then I got on a plane and I went heliskiing the next day and almost died heliskiing. And then I jumped off a cliff. I had the most terrifying trip to fucking. Are you like a really good skier? No. No. So you just jump out of a helicopter?
Starting point is 01:20:17 Yeah. I was snowboarding and the guy was like, and we went up to like, I wish I knew exactly the height, but it was like 10,000 feet, 13,000 feet. It was up by Matterhorn. And the guy's like, okay, I'm going to put a homing track in the vast so we can find the body. And I'm like, what?
Starting point is 01:20:37 And he goes, in case you fall in a crevasse or go up a cliff, we want to find your body. And I was like, I didn't think it was that serious. He goes, oh, it's very serious. He goes, don't go within the three feet from my tracks and so we all had to follow this guy down and i'm like what the fuck and then i caught it i caught a nose i caught my toes and i went head first and it's four feet of powder i mean it's so much powder that are it's tough to get out of i was i stuck I push like this and I couldn't touch anything. And I'm upside down. I'm face first upside down on a mountain.
Starting point is 01:21:10 I'm pushing and I go, oh, this is why I have the fucking homing tracking device. This is what he was talking about. They're going to need to find. I'm going to be sitting here for an hour and a half while they try to find the body. And I started panicking and then I felt a hand grab me, flip me over. And he goes you should see your sound guy and our sound guy's upside down skis kicking gear everywhere and i was like get us off this fucking mountain and so yeah that was trip flip and then and then uh yeah we
Starting point is 01:21:37 jumped off a cliff we did it was all switzerland it was a fucking i spent the night in an igloo with a saint bernard i was sleeping in this i slept in an igloo with a St. Bernard. I was sleeping in a, I slept in an igloo that week. I mean, that's only fitting. Yeah. Yeah. It was a long trip. That's what you used to see as cartoons. It was a beautiful St. Bernard.
Starting point is 01:21:56 With NFL news happening around the clock, you'll never be left on the outside looking in on the Insiders Podcast. Featuring me, Tom Pellicero, along with Ian Rappaport, Mike Garofalo, Judy Batista, and NFL Network's team of experts. The Insiders has you covered with up-to-the-minute news from around the league. Our team of insiders and reporters bring you daily detailed team reports and analysis that only the insiders can deliver. It's the Insiders. You're a loyal viewer of the show. Now you're on it.
Starting point is 01:22:26 I am a loyal viewer. One of my very favorite shows. We appreciate that greatly. If you want a deeper dive into the inner workings of the NFL, look no further. On the insiders, you'll hear from the league's top players, head coaches, and key decision makers. The insiders will keep you informed and educated on everything NFL.
Starting point is 01:22:46 Listen to the insiders on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news, previews, recaps, and analysis delivered straight to your podcast feed by the time you get your coffee. No dumb hot takes here, just smart hot takes. We'll talk every single game, every single week, but I can't do it alone, so I'm bringing in the big guns from NFL Media.
Starting point is 01:23:16 That's Patrick Claibon, Steve Weiss, Nick Shook, Jordan Rodrigue from The Athletic, and of course, Colleen Wolfe. This is their window right now. This is their Super Bowl window. Why would they trade him away? Because he would be a pivotal part of them winning that Super Bowl. I don't know why, Colleen.
Starting point is 01:23:35 Catch the podcast, the NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal every day. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. And who doesn't want that? Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, here we go. It's Cam Jordan from New Orleans Saints, here to tell you it's going down on season two of my podcast,
Starting point is 01:24:00 Off the Edge with me, Cam Jordan. Can't stop it. You know what's going to happen. Can't stop it. That's right. Catch new episodes every Wednesday, all season long. That's what you look for in year 14, to do more. No days off. And I'll have my friends, who happen to be some of the NFL's biggest stars, join me on the pod.
Starting point is 01:24:19 We'll give you a player's perspective of the biggest storylines, trends, and did that really just happen moments from around the league. And you know we'll have fun doing it. Oh, and I'll have a special guest each month join me to mix it up a little bit. Who is it? None other than... Psych! You'll have to tune in to find out.
Starting point is 01:24:39 So tap in to Off the Edge with Cam Jordan's podcast, your ultimate playbook for all things football and not football. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jack, did we miss anything? Because, I mean, we can't talk about the game. He was in a cab the whole game,
Starting point is 01:24:58 and that was probably we're going to talk about him. We missed the whole game, but other than that. It's a sneaky, really good national championship. Underrated. Yeah, it's really a great championship. I'm just rubbing it in Bert's face right now. Jameis Winston comes out and shows everyone why he's the Heisman Trophy winner. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:17 Last BCS game. I've heard really good things about it. What? That's the last BCS game. Oh, for real? The playoff came in the next year. Oh, shit. Man. what that's the last bcs game oh for real the playoff came in the next year oh shit man um as far as missing anything else cooper cup not a confirmed mormon not i don't know why i'm so i've
Starting point is 01:25:33 that really bummed me out i've never been i thought it was mormon just says super christian oh those are my words not that not google christ Wow. Not quite as fun. Yeah. No shit, anybody. Yeah. I'd rather hang with a Mormon than a Christian. Because at least we're like... I like, yeah. Because Christians drink.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Oh, yeah. My wife's Catholic. I'm Catholic. They do the wine. Well, yeah. Most of them are alcoholics. Catholics are pretty bad. Go to Boston. I lived there for... Oh, that's right. Well, yeah. Most of them are alcoholics. Catholics are pretty bad. Go to Boston.
Starting point is 01:26:07 I lived there for... Oh, that's right. Yeah, go to Boston. For 14 years, 13 years. It's a great town. Can we... I'd be remissed if I didn't read this quote also. This is from the Orlando Sentinel,
Starting point is 01:26:20 bringing it back to circumcision talk. This is from Tim Tebow after his trip. The first time, I got to say, it was nerve-wracking. Hands were shaking circumcision talk this is from tim tebow after his trip the first time i gotta say it was nerve-wracking hands were shaking this is real this is real dead serious orlando sentinel hands were shaking a little bit i mean i'm cutting somebody you can't do these kinds of things in the united states but these people really needed the surgeries and we needed to help them i guess he doesn't have a steady hand as a surgeon. You're making this up. I'm not making this up.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Deadass, dude. Tim Tebow. And they said he also assisted in a few dental operations over there. So, I mean, it's just the Wild West. Dude, I'm telling you, Tebow is... Hold on. On my vacation, I can go perform surgery. I might go there, too.
Starting point is 01:27:04 And give a hysterectomy to somebody. I don't think it was a vacation. I think it was a mission. Hey, what are you guys going to do today? Oh, I got a fucking amputation at two. I'm going to cut a guy's leg off. It's gangrene. They let you do anything down here. Can't do that to you guys.
Starting point is 01:27:20 That sounds crazy. Why? What are you doing? Well, we're going to go to dinner and then late night there's this kid that's uncircumcised tebow went after him but he couldn't catch him so we're gonna see if we can catch him and cut his cock oh is this what city is this oh my uh is it thailand it's thailand or no philippines the philippines netflix if you're listening, I want to do the same type of special joke I did in the Philippines, but I want to
Starting point is 01:27:50 go down and cut everyone's cock. And then come back with a necklace of four skits and just be like, I'm their leader. You know, when you do something so much in a day you have dreams about it you know that Tim Tebow has to
Starting point is 01:28:10 have dreams of cutting little boys cocks he wakes up his wife's like what's the matter he's like nothing go back to sleep I can't tell anybody about this poor Tebow poor Tebow Go back to sleep. I can't tell anybody about this. Poor Tebow.
Starting point is 01:28:28 Poor Tebow. Poor fucking Filipino kid. Who's the fucking celebrity cutting my cock? Can we get a doctor in here? I don't give a shit about the Broncos. Let's get a fucking doctor to wash his hands and cut my cock instead of Tim Tebow. I don't know who you are, dude. I'm pretty sure he had gloves on.
Starting point is 01:28:50 Pretty sure he had gloves on. Oh, my God. Yeah. You can't make this stuff up. I mean, but he's famous. You 100% cannot make this up. He could be Jesus. Tim Tebow is Jesus.
Starting point is 01:29:05 But it's like, out of all the things they need, they're like, Tim, should you give them money? He's like, no, no, no. What else? What about food? He's like, keep going, keep going. They'll get that. These kids are uncircumcised. What did you say?
Starting point is 01:29:21 A lot of these kids are uncircumcised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stick on that one. What if I cut their cocks? And I'm like, well, it seems a little selfish to him, but I mean, they don't really need to be circumcised. He's like, but they should be, right? And I was like, well, you're saying that. We didn't say that. He's like, how much for me to cut their cocks?
Starting point is 01:29:35 And they're like, are you going to pay us? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do it. We can buy all the food and stuff. I feel bad because I know that this happens to me where someone mocks me and it's so fucking hilarious but when it happens to you it hurts and i know tim tebow is going to be on his farm in jacksonville's like hey man i love jules's podcast hey the pcs has florida i can't wait to hear this and he's like sitting there hitting a tire with a hammer god damn it
Starting point is 01:30:00 i was trying to cut their cocks for good reasons he's on game day i think though i don't think he's on a farm i do like to imagine he's a listener though yeah yeah i would love to know who you're i would say he's probably not i mean with with sam last season i mean he we're not really good with like the real true. Kurt Warner and Sam do not get along. Confirmed. Oh, wow. Yeah. Kurt Warner, you know, he's a very man of faith, man fearing God.
Starting point is 01:30:32 That's the thing. Sam opened up with a dick beating joke. I think, or jacking off. We were talking about Dick Vermeule crying and jerking off and something. And Kurt Warner, he just put the blinders he like acted like he didn't even hear it yeah so
Starting point is 01:30:48 not even a smile I'm sure Kurt Warner would not like me at all Kurt's a great guy I bet he'd be like he'd be like sure man
Starting point is 01:30:56 like I bet he'd have one of those faces like like remember the first time you saw two dudes kiss and you were like oh I'm gonna look at something else real quick
Starting point is 01:31:04 it's the exact face I bet he'd look at me like that he'd be like oh great so uh yeah i was uh shelving groceries and then they caught it that's what i got the call afl though he went to the afl then what do you mean he went went AFL before, after groceries? Let me double check. Iowa Barnstormers? Oh, AFL, not that. Arena. Oh, really? He tore it up.
Starting point is 01:31:32 Did you? Yeah, professionally. Where? Avengers? I played for the Avengers. It was for a TV show. It was one of the bigger mistakes of my life. I was a quarterback, and it was a TV show called Herbert.
Starting point is 01:31:50 And so the coach was like, I'm sure you know coach energy of like, I'm not fucking around. I understand you're paying us to do this. What do you need real quick? And the producer's like, we're just going to have him be a quarterback, and then they'll sack him, and he'll try to run a play and they'll hit him over the middle and he'll try to be – he'll do all the positions.
Starting point is 01:32:09 You guys just fuck him up. And the coach is like, all right. Yeah, like just real like, okay. So, hey, he's going to be quarterback. Let's fucking light this kid up. And so I'm like, oh, fuck. And so then I realize my offensive line is not blocking. So I take the hike.
Starting point is 01:32:26 I take the ball. And I step back and I sprint up the middle and I run a touchdown. And the coach loses his shit. He goes, this is the fucking reason you don't start. I don't need any of you. This motherfucker better leave on a fucking stretcher if you want to keep those helmets and keep that jersey on do you understand me and then some black dude's like you fucked up man and i was like oh god the next play i'm blindsided from behind
Starting point is 01:32:57 knocked unconscious i got so you can hit it type in type in Herbert football. I got so fucked up. And I got a concussion. And at the end, it's like, you can tell I'm concussed. I'm like, yeah, that's me on the floor. Yeah. And I just got fucking worked. No protection, not knowing, not taking a hit, blindside. Oh, no protection.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Look how young I am. I got a ton of hair though it was a physical game yeah arena it's small space all right here show the next the perfect keep it there keep it there this is dead silent and all of a sudden you hear and then I heard you punk bitch in my ear this is me just kidding oh I Think the I think the blind sides coming up Look at how high my voice is. Watch this. Yeah, that's definitely a concussion. You went helmet back of the head? Yeah. Done. Yeah, I know. At least you didn't break your back.
Starting point is 01:34:20 Yeah, because if you would've went lower, you would have had some vertebrae damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were a skinny guy there. I was really skinny. The shoulders weren't popping like now. That's why I met my wife. I was in the spin class. Spin class? Yeah, I was doing a lot of spin classes.
Starting point is 01:34:37 I did cardio back then. But I'm not like jacked like I am now. Then I was a professional. I was an MMA fighter for a day. I fought the Gracies. I got choked out. I was a bull i was an mma fighter for a day i fought the gracies i got choked out uh i was a bull you want to see fucking someone type in herbert rodeo clown this is the worst this is this is this this is what it got me to quit the show that's something i will never fuck around with
Starting point is 01:34:59 i broke my foot and broke my ribs. Breaking your ribs sucks, doesn't it? Dude. You can't breathe. You can't cough. The sleeping sucks. You know the key? I broke my ribs a lot.
Starting point is 01:35:16 The key to sleeping on broke ribs is lay on that side. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were going, he's crazy. No. So you're going to come do my cooking show? I'm down. Who do you want to do it with?
Starting point is 01:35:30 Whoever. Yeah, you name it. It's usually better if you know the person because you can hang out with them. Or if there's someone you like that you're like, oh, I'd like to do that with that person. We can set it up. Do I have to have a name right now? Nope. Can I think about it and marinate?
Starting point is 01:35:43 Yeah. How about Sarah Silverman? She's Jewish. Is she? Yeah, she's awesome's awesome her sister's rabbi yeah yeah she's fucking awesome i've heard i've heard and i'm i mean she's funny as fuck she's really funny she you could tell a behind scene she's she could be a fucking killer i bet like as far as like joke telling though she's like she she she keeps it on the meter of like where she doesn't go real her last special is so good her last but i watch a lot of specials because i have comics on my podcast and you're you're you're pretty much you're scouting yeah
Starting point is 01:36:16 well i want to make sure i'm not stepping on anyone's material that too yeah i had a really great joke i had a really fucking great joke i told the other night i got high and i just it just came to me and it was so good and so perfect i'll tell you after the podcast that i fucking texted my whole group all my friends just to put it out there so no one takes it i was no i went does anyone have this joke so sometimes you'll tell a joke on stage and it'll be so perfect you're like hold on hang on one second is that someone else's joke and then they'll hit you up they're like it's a patrice joke you're like oh fuck and so then you gotta get rid of it i texted everyone i texted mark norman i didn't text sam i texted rogan i texted segura i texted everyone and everyone's like never heard it brilliant premise i was like done son i'm so fucking
Starting point is 01:37:02 pumped that's gotta be awesome it's the best feeling in the world when you found when you find a good joke it's gotta be it's gotta be what it feels like for you when a ball would land in your hand and you'd pull it in and you'd be like oh i did it nah i think i think for me it'd be more like route running yeah like when the guy like when you kill a guy in a route yeah that's what it is yeah because that's my creative that's where my creative juice comes from is like when a guy gives you an impossible look like an inside leverage and you have to have an in-breaking route and you you stem them, you reset your stem, you get them running a four, and then you slap them by and you come under
Starting point is 01:37:47 and he's like running like that. He's like telling a good joke or finding the good joke. Mine sounds a lot simpler, but yeah. What do you mean? Like you just stem them in and he gives you a look. I'm like, I'm already like, I'm so confused by playbooks where they're like, oh my God, Molly three inside powder. Let's toilet bowl it with a three five runner, runner, runner.
Starting point is 01:38:10 Rangers, fing to zero out slot, ride 134, F-bow, ice, alert, ride 134, gap. That's one play. And what does that mean? So there's a pass and a run play. It's a check with me type play rangers is the personnel group so that's telling everyone who they are in the huddle for the skill position guys the thing that's telling a type of motion to the formation so zero out slot is the formation zero is the original formation zero out brings the f out here slot brings the z out here. Slot brings the Z over here. So that zero out slot is that.
Starting point is 01:38:46 Wow. So the Fing is telling the F. He has to Fing motion to the tight end. And then F-bow ice is the F-bow is running that. Ice is a two-man concept where it's an in-cut and a cross. Alert for a certain look or ride 134, which is a handoff play to the right. So when you would hear those in a huddle were you just looking for your words no i i was there for so long it was the same
Starting point is 01:39:11 system so i knew so like he could he could tell i could tell by what situation like if it was first or second or third down i knew the play calls that were coming in because we'd be so rehearsed with walkthroughs and you know knowing what the scheme was or what they were, their tendencies on defense were. So you knew that you could have a 60% chance of this happening or a 30% or like a 1%, you know. So if you're like really putting the time in, you could like finish those sentences. Jesus, that's insane to me. That's insane to me. That's insane to me that something I enjoy is that complicated. I talk with the boys because there's talk.
Starting point is 01:39:51 I've been working with an acting coach and stuff and potentially want to go to. I want to get in that. It's something I've always enjoyed. Yeah. But the one thing that scares me the most, even when I'm working with my acting coach, is remembering your lines because you don't want to be the person on set that doesn't know the line I get it it reminds me of like not knowing the formation oh really yeah but you already have that brain you can memorize yeah but it's different yeah because you know the concept
Starting point is 01:40:23 well I'll tell you this acting is very different once it's been blocked out. Like, to read sides in an audition is very different than doing a movie. And I can barely read. I'm really bad at it, too. Yeah. You know when you were a kid in, like, class and you guys were doing the reading around class like i would sit and i would do math on when i my like five sentences were yeah and i'd sit and practice that sentence those my my paragraph yeah like i thought and i would still fuck it up jake paul is the best
Starting point is 01:40:58 out loud reader i've ever seen in my life i got a signed glove back there oh no i'm sorry logan paul oh logan logan is i've never seen jake reed i'm gonna see him read i'm going to miami do his podcast in a couple weeks they can read logan paul can read out loud like a motherfucker like a nerd like when the nerds would read and you'd be like fucking yeah but we don't p i worked worked with JB, James Brown on Inside the NFL. Really? The last two years. And just watching pros like those guys off the teleprompter and how they'll throw in a couple of their extra own little shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:33 Like, how the fuck did he know where to go? How did he get back to it? How did he get back to it? He threw in something. It's fucking crazy. Their eyes disconnect. Yeah, it was the first time I ever read Prompter, I thought that I had to go at his speed.
Starting point is 01:41:50 So we fucking tore through it. And they're like, you're reading really fast. I was like, I'm fucking kidding. They're going to you. And the guy was like, I'm keeping up with you, buddy. And I was like, oh, sorry. I was like, oh, let's go slower then. He goes, good call.
Starting point is 01:42:02 Yeah, I'm not good at it. I'm not a good out loud reader. I'm dyslexic, so I'll like read like, I had a joke about that the other night. My daughter's dyslexic and she texted me. I'll meet you, what she meant to say is I'll meet you at the intersection. But she wrote, I'll meet you at the insurrection.
Starting point is 01:42:18 And I went, are we storming the Capitol? I was like, fuck, okay. And then I was like, let me get my buffalo hat. Bring in this full circle. This game was on January 6th. Are you serious? Totally serious. And that's what we call a callback, everybody.
Starting point is 01:42:34 Thanks for watching. My name's Bert Kreischer. This is Julian Edelman. I hope you learned stuff today. This is Games with Names. It's Games with Names. We got to score the game. Score the game presented by WinBet.
Starting point is 01:42:45 Oh, for real? Yeah. We got to score the game. Score the game presented by Winbet. Oh, for real? Yeah, we got to score it. This is a huge thing on TikTok for our following. Presented by Winbet. Is the 2000, look, that's how bad I am. Is the 2014 BCS National Championship the best game of all time? Let's score it. Greatest.
Starting point is 01:43:01 Because it's GOG. You know, we all talk about the GOAT. Yeah. Greatest of all time. We're looking for the GOG goat yeah greatest of all time we're looking for the gog the greatest of all games okay the gog stakes what does that mean the stakes of this game it's national championship i mean it's a zero out of ten right jack zero out of ten so high stakes here this is high stakes this is undefeated season oh it's undefeated setting so we put a 10 it's the highest stakes you can get i can't argue with that can't argue with that i guess you sure so you think 10 10 out of 10 well it's old school bcs undefeated season last bcs you look at so many of those bcs championships
Starting point is 01:43:37 and everyone lost one yeah but it i'm not saying anything but the the ACC, yes, they had Clemson. That was ranked three early in the year. Okay, yeah, I see what you're saying. It was a little bit. It wasn't like it was the SEC or the Pac-10. There is no Pac-10. It's gone. Back then there was.
Starting point is 01:43:56 Yeah, I know, but it's just not even. I grew up Pac-10 fan or Pac-12, whatever it is, and it's gone. It's completely gone because of selfish people of those organizations that are running that thing um stakes you think 10 we'll go 10 10 we'll go 10 star power not as high as you'd think i would say well considering i'm obsessed with the uh the team out of miami and the 2000 what what is it, 2006 Gators? Is that the one that Aaron Hernandez was on? Hernandez, Percy, Tebow.
Starting point is 01:44:31 I'm obsessed with the fucking, the Ponce twins. Like, I'm obsessed with. Ponceys. Yeah, I'm obsessed with those two teams. Spikes. And I started, I had a team that was like William Floyd, fucking Charlie Ward. I mean, we had such great teams. Charlie Ward.
Starting point is 01:44:49 He's a great backup. Charlie Ward went backup. Wasn't it Charlie Ward? No, he won the Heisman. You might be thinking of Charlie Batch. Charlie Batch. What am I doing? I'm an analyst here on Fox coming back with you with all the best information.
Starting point is 01:45:02 You should get prompter. Can I tell you my favorite thing in the world? Okay, please do this for your Instagram. Get a prompter. It's very simple. You put it on an iPad. You put it up under the camera, and it reads to the camera.
Starting point is 01:45:15 And you should practice prompter that you don't know what you're reading, but you should read it with earnest and sincerity. And I will submit the prompter reads. I will text you the prompter reads, and they're going to be under a minute and they're just and it's practice prompter reads can we steal that and use it as a new segment on games with names please yes please it's a great it's a great like and i love chocolate bananas my favorite thing about chocolate is just something bizarre that they find on the internet that you then have to read
Starting point is 01:45:43 verbatim and tryim and really sell it. The thing about prompter is when you sell it, when you really sell it. I mean, you know what I try to use? And you gotta ad-lib a little James Brown in the middle of it. You gotta throw in, and I love vacations.
Starting point is 01:45:58 Everyone knows I love vacations. Isn't that right, fellas? Anyway, a chocolate banana when I score. Like, that's a new segment you should do on this show hell yes i i practice prompter reads and you just start just and by the way fox will fucking love this and go hey guys it's your boy jules uh i'm getting ready for the fox season i'm just practicing prompter there's a new segment i do called prompter reads and it's just bizarre fucking sentences of like with confusing words
Starting point is 01:46:26 and just tricky like because that's the tricky part is like the ow wow bound cow oh yeah yeah and like weird punctuation unique new york unique new york unique you yeah uh star power Yeah. Star power. We're going to do that. Fuck you, San Diego. A large wooden ship. That's Anchorman. Anchorman. I've never laughed harder at a movie when he goes, so there's a new thing on the street called crack cocaine,
Starting point is 01:47:00 and we're going to try it. It's pretty good. That fucking movie for me my one of my favorite like just die it's also my age gap super bad oh dude the opening line when they're talking about the porn scene and how their mom's gonna find out if it sounds too much like a porn site yeah to the credit card charge i literally remember having those conversations with my friend i was crying i was on a date in college watching that movie crying the whole fucking movie perfect and it's crying website yeah when he did the the thing in
Starting point is 01:47:36 home ac he's like no offense this is a joke class no one cares about it he's like no offense she's like that doesn't mean what i think you think it means. Jonah Hill is a fucking, if we're talking about run him through this list, he is the fucking goat. I love that dude. I love Jonah Hill. I love that dude. Yeah, he got to work on his relationship problems. Star power, we, out of 10.
Starting point is 01:47:59 I'm going to say seven. Seven, Famous Jameis, Benjamin, Cody Parkey, the guy who had the double doink we had the long bros on oh for real the double doink chicago yeah we talked about he he missed a field goal in this game and they lost by three comes back to bite you every time go seven seven gameplay gameplay 10 such a great game we're just throwing out tens like. I know. Ten. It's a come from behind. Look, that's why.
Starting point is 01:48:27 That's why. Was it the largest comeback? That's why you watched the game. Biggest comeback in BCS championship history. I've said this to my daughters. I said, I wish you were boys so that you can understand what you're seeing right now. I understand you don't care about this, but I need you to be present because what we're watching is everything I love in life. Everything I love in life.
Starting point is 01:48:42 I go back to the fucking, the Dolphins versus the Chargers on Monday Night Football. Do you remember that fucking game where they carried Kellen Winslow off? I sat next to him on a plane and I said, sir, it is an honor to sit next to you. I used to dress up in my backyard,
Starting point is 01:48:59 get covered in water and pretend to be you and he did not take that compliment the right way. But I always pretended to be soaking wet like being carried off the field and so like that's why you that is the thing you so many games you're like ah this one's over but when the game when you're on the edge of the seat you go shut up shut up shut up he ran it back shut the fuck up shut when you start hitting strangers dude that's like uh that's like
Starting point is 01:49:26 it's like it's like the movie that we were talking about earlier it's the movie where you go shut the fuck up primal fear primal fear primal fear and i'll be watching that tonight i hope you do it by the way i'm getting your phone number you're texting me and i'll be texting you guys my reads hell yes all right we got 10 10 on gameplay the name what do we name this game what is the And I'll be texting you guys my reads. Hell yes. All right. We've got 10. 10 on gameplay. The name. What do we name this game?
Starting point is 01:49:49 What is the name of the game? It doesn't have a good name. It's not like the Choke and the Doke. No. It was just... Seamus' last run. Love that. Seamus' last run.
Starting point is 01:50:02 So what do we name? On name. Name of the game that's gotta be low I'd say zero zero because it has no name to it
Starting point is 01:50:10 it never got a name it never got a and it's a sneaky such an underrated sneaky great game the last it should be something to do with like the last of the BCS
Starting point is 01:50:18 yeah it should be alright it should BCS should be initials for what it is best college sangria
Starting point is 01:50:27 something i don't agree are you sangria guy i'm an anything guy sangria gives me hangovers i just the sugar content oh yeah yeah yeah i try not to fuck with too much sugar the oh look at this yeah yeah look at this these are all the games you guys watched yeah these are all the games we've done on the podcast oh who did who did sean michaels versus brett hart we did who we had sean michaels oh for real yeah oh he was like oh he was like i know we could do our own games i always showed you some tape from high school yankees versus red sox god damn it that. That was a fucking... I would argue, though, I watched that in a bar in Richmond with Gary Goldman.
Starting point is 01:51:10 We watched that in a bar. That was right after Last Comic Standing, and I just had Georgia. The better of that was... Do you remember the Yankees during 2001, right after September 11th? Yeah. When Aaron Judge was hitting dinger after dinger.
Starting point is 01:51:27 And you're like, shut the fuck up. God damn it. What a great podcast. What a great fucking podcast. What other guests do you have on? You've got to get Segura on. You're going to love Segura. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:38 Segura is like a, he'll have. What sport does he like? Football. He likes football? Yeah. What's his team? Florida State. Tampa. He likes football? Yeah. What's his team? Florida State. Tampa?
Starting point is 01:51:49 He likes Tampa? No, he doesn't like Tampa. I think he's a Cincinnati fan. Cincinnati. Maybe Denver. He went to, I don't know. He just loves, he can talk to you about football really clean. He'll know prospects and I'll be like,
Starting point is 01:52:06 don't pull up this guy. He's a fucking savage. This guy's fucking, look at this, 6'8". They've got stats on him. Like he really is into football. We got to get him on. Yeah, I'll give you Cigar's number. We've had some cool guests.
Starting point is 01:52:17 We had Brandi Chastain to talk about that Women's World Cup when she took her shirt off. For real? Yeah, we had Big Poppy talking with the Sox and the Red Sox. We had Peyton on when he threw seven touchdowns. I mean, who else did we have? We had Mike Bibby. Oh.
Starting point is 01:52:34 I used to love Mike Bibby. I loved Mike Bibby too. Sacramento Kings. Yeah. Talk about that whole thing. Dude, Jason. Speaking of Randy Moss. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:43 Jason Williams. They went to high school together. Yeah, and Jason Williams played at Florida. So he was our guy. We loved him. And then he went to the Kings. That's the first basketball jersey I ever purchased by myself was a Jason Williams jersey.
Starting point is 01:52:56 White chocolate. Do you remember that commercial of the two of them playing sports together? And you were like, what a great fucking commercial. My dad heard a story about jason williams dad tying his right hand behind his back and making him dribble with his left yeah and did it to me my dad did the same thing but put tape on my mouth yeah i used to just get a little backhand he's like he's like you you're so good with the mouth. Use your eyes. We got the final score tallied up here.
Starting point is 01:53:31 This one clocked in at a 6.75. Having no name kind of sunk it. So on our master list, that settles us right in between the Texas A&M game where Ricky Williams broke the college rushing record. Wow. We had him on there. It was all, he's cool. And right in between the 09 Western Conference Finals, Kobe versus the Nuggets.
Starting point is 01:53:53 That was when we had Kenyon Martin on. Kenyon Martin. There's, there, do you think the, do you think, do you think there would be riots in the street if they outlawed football? Depends on what street you're talking, not in l.a no not in l.a i'd be like you go anywhere in like the south midwest yeah football football do you go to the rams games at all i haven't been to a rams game i went and watched him in training camp though though, just to kind of, you know.
Starting point is 01:54:29 I got a new – one of my old coaches, Nick Cayley, is over there now. So, like, that's how you kind of go and see those games. Like, usually I'm watching the games at the house. I mean, you got to – I got to see all the content. Oh, yeah. You got to – it's work for you. That's a work day. Yeah, well, now it will be. I used to go – it was a recap show inside the NFL,
Starting point is 01:54:43 so I'd have to watch all the games. Is that the one in New York? Yeah, well, now it will be. I used to go. It was a recap show inside the NFL, so I'd have to watch all the games. Is that the one in New York? Yeah, New York. That's the one down by September 11th? No, it's in Hell's Kitchen over on 56 on the west side. I'm thinking of Good Morning Football. Yeah, Good Morning Football. Yeah, I go to one game a year.
Starting point is 01:55:02 I used to get season tickets, but then I was like, I don't want to go to every game i'm just giving away tickets i just i really want to enjoy one game so i get like a box and then bring like 20 people i if i i'll go if like the patriots came out i wasn't able to do that but if you know i think my recording day is done pretty early now so i'm the first show so we're the eight o'clock show so i'm done by like 9 30 10 so i'll be able to hit maybe an afternoon game shit i'm not home i'm on tour this whole fucking call i leave on the 14th i don't come back i don't come back until after red rocks i leave on the 14th and i'm gone for 20 days straight 25 days straight you're doing red
Starting point is 01:55:43 rocks yeah i want to come i I want to come check that. Is it on a weekday? What kind of music do you like? Huh? What kind of music do you like? I like all music. Do you ever heard of a band called Goose? No.
Starting point is 01:55:53 Oh, hell yes. You're a Goose guy. Hardcore. Oh, my God. Hardcore. And so we're going to Red Rocks this year. I perform. It's me, Jay, Big Jay, and Dan Soder.
Starting point is 01:56:01 I'm bringing those two guys with me. And Sypha Sounds. But I perform on like a Tuesday or Wednesday, and Go goose is performing friday so we rented out a whole place and we've and i bring everyone i bring everyone so if you want to come let me know i got spots for you yeah yeah it's fucking it's a tuesday i would love to come check you out i've never been to red rocks you've never been to red rocks when you perform there it's the different experience because you come in the back you have total access you see the the rock everything's the rock is in the green room it's in like you're you're they build a place around these rocks they did not move the rocks and so there's like a huge rock in your green room
Starting point is 01:56:35 there's great catering there's booze and then the and then the show is amazing you have total access to the whole place and then the best part is at the end of the night you can either pull like a tommy or sebastian where they just bounce the second there's two shows over they don't hang out or you can hang and they clean it out and then it's you at midnight at red rocks under the stars smoking a joint having a fucking tito's a soda going like the fucking beatles played here the beatles played there. Big Beatles guy. Yeah? Big Beatles guy.
Starting point is 01:57:08 He was named after John Lennon's son, Julian Lennon. Oh, for real? Yeah. Hey, Jules. Hey, Jude. No, but he wrote it, Jules. Yeah. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:57:17 That's a good one. Yeah. Hello. This has been fun, man. It's been awesome, dude. I can't thank you enough. I didn't expect you to be this cool. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:57:26 Like, I knew you were cool. Like, I see you on clips and stuff. But you're like a pretty easy hang. You are too. I've been a fan of you for a long time. We've never really crossed paths or anything. But, you know, I've been watching you on social. And it's crazy how that social, you just see it.
Starting point is 01:57:45 You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, it's crazy how you know someone. So, yeah. Like you end up knowing people that you've never met. I remember you telling that machine story before the movie. Yeah. A bunch.
Starting point is 01:57:56 I told it a bunch, all right. Yeah. And then I was like, this guy, he's made a movie. It was a pretty cool experience. Yeah. It's been, yeah, it's crazy. Like, you do know people that you don't know at all. Like, I feel like, and what's crazy is you'll take, like, jokes at people that you think you know but you don't know.
Starting point is 01:58:14 Yeah. And then, like, because I made jokes about Tom Brady, like, just because, like, thinking he'll see it and he'll get a kick out of it. Like what? I don't know. What's your best Tom Brady joke? But, no, just, I call people out. Because he'll listen. He'll hear it right now.
Starting point is 01:58:24 Like, I called out Mark Wahlberg. He did a video where he's like, he's like, he's like, hey, don't skip past this video. It's four in the morning. I'm tired. I could put my head back on the pillow. But instead, I come to the gym. No one shows up. Big Joe doesn't show up.
Starting point is 01:58:40 So what do you do? You go out. And so like, I just do a video exactly like him. I'm like, and so I think Tom did a video. Because we were just playing in Tampa. I'm a Tampa fan. Yeah. And I just would do whatever he did back to him,
Starting point is 01:58:53 thinking one day he'd be getting a massage scrolling through Instagram. I'm sure he doesn't do that. Just like, oh, wow. You'd be surprised. Really? Yeah. He doesn't seem regular. He doesn't seem regular he doesn't like so when i first got in the league
Starting point is 01:59:06 i was the first kid on on social media in the locker room really 2009 2010 yeah like no one had like all the older guys no one had shit i was a west coast kid though i grew up in yeah you know the bay so you were around the facebooks and all that shit right at the shot the jump and he would always get super mad at me, like, get off your fucking phone, rook. Get in your playbook. Fast forward like seven, eight years when it became a thing. This dude's always scrolling.
Starting point is 01:59:37 Don't let him fucking fool you. And the diet, the dude loves chicken wings. Really? Loves chicken wings. Oh, I know what. Like the TB12 method diet. Yeah. He talks about that,
Starting point is 01:59:47 and he's very disciplined. Don't get me wrong. He seems like he's like. He's very disciplined, but every night, we had the same menu, regardless of where you were at, because we would stay at a hotel
Starting point is 01:59:58 even for home games. They'd always have chicken wings out there. The lineman would be sitting there putting down like 60 wings, and as soon as everyone would leave, old Brady would come in after his little quarterback meeting. He'd look around and take like two wings, dip it in fucking blue cheese and eat it.
Starting point is 02:00:18 And I've seen him a couple times eat it and then spit it out. Oh. He ate one and then he was gonna go two and he's like two is too much two is too much i will not do that it's a game night so he is very disciplined oh i know what i did his sister i think i think came to one of my shows yeah i think she married to a friend of mine yuk yeah yeah and so i knew him and i think i don't know i always do it playful like i called out i called out schwarzenegger one time he played around like it was always fun but when he played for the bucks i used to kind of like call him out like
Starting point is 02:00:56 yo brady i got like i was doing that with with baker mayfield i was like i expect a lot out of you i want old school baker like i want old school taunting people on the fucking sidelines Baker. Fuck what they say. You're in Tampa now. You can do a lot of bad shit. You can bite someone's face off and we won't fucking look at it. Do it under an underpass. Say it was Bassalt.
Starting point is 02:01:14 It's Baker. We want old school Baker. I want Baker fucking taunting people. They still got it. I mean, the Buccaneers have a lot of talent. Dude, you look at their receivers with Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. Chris Godwin freaked me out. I was at Super Bowl and he came backstage.
Starting point is 02:01:33 It was a bunch of people. And we're all sitting around and he comes up. He's such a nice kid. He's with his wife. And he's like, I just want to thank you, sir, for letting us back here. And I was like, what a fucking child. I was like, it's good to meet you. And like I said uh did you have a good time you wanted to send the drinkers I don't drink and I was like oh okay and immediately when you hear that you're
Starting point is 02:01:51 like oh cool what do you do like just say football real quick so we can get this over with and he's like I play I play for uh the bucks I go Chris and he goes yeah I go Chris Godwin and he goes yeah I go shut the fuck up and i geeked out all over him and he was like he was like he's like oh yeah yeah you're a bucks fan and i was like and then i i have his number i text him every now and then like if i ran into him again i did a thing for the bucks when they unveiled the new jersey's i i ran into him and and mike evans and uh levante david yeah and then uh and and mike all start've all start I loved all dude he's the fuck he came out I was doing a thing is it was I think the clip coach to any he's jacked yeah I know is that he
Starting point is 02:02:34 was at my show and at this at the thing was one of the craziest things I gotta get the fuck out of here I'm keep telling you stories one of the crazy things about my show at the Amelie is that Derek Brooks is like a representative for the lightning and he gave me a jersey and i'm florida state went to school same time derrick brooks did i fucking big bucks fan so like i geeked out so my my dad doesn't give a shit about anything i just sold 19 000 tickets and my dad's like it's good yeah wait boggs in my box and i was like yeah i know he's like that's crazy she's still. And I was like, yeah, I know. He was like, that's crazy. Is he still married? And I was like, I don't know, Dad.
Starting point is 02:03:06 What the fuck are you talking about? So then fucking Derek Brooks comes backstage, and my dad, like, freezes. And he goes, and he's like, I go, Dad, this is Derek. He goes, I know who he is. He's like, my dad's like real, like, it was such an honor to watch you play. You're such a fantastic talent. We followed you through college. Bert was at Florida State. a it's been such an honor to watch you play you're such a fantastic talent we followed you through college Burt was at Florida State and he's like yeah I know and he's like and then to see you with the Bucks just such a storied career it's just such
Starting point is 02:03:33 a pleasure to meet you and then Derek Brooks says to my dad it's crazy to follow his career huh my dad's like huh it's like he's like from where he is to where he was and my dad goes I don't I have never seen him perform before and Derek Brooks goes for real he's like this from where he is to where he was. And my dad goes, I have never seen him perform before. And Derek Brooks goes, for real? He's like, this is my first time seeing him. And Derek Brooks goes, I was at his first comedy show. And my dad's like, what? And I didn't know it. He was like, yeah, I went to the Pop Ellies with Miles to go watch you perform.
Starting point is 02:03:57 I saw his very first comedy show and I saw him here. It's crazy that that happened, man. That's bizarre. And my dad, Derek Brooks, leaves. He goes, Derek fuckingoks knows who you are derrick fucking brooks knows who you are i go dad i just sold 19 000 fucking tickets you don't i go yeah there's a lot of people know who the fuck i am dad i was like but derrick brooks is derrick brooks and then we go out michael but dad my hair mike fucking all start knows you mike all start and then wade boggs he's
Starting point is 02:04:25 like wade boggs knows you i go dad he was in the fucking box with you do you think he was just there on accident then he got drunk and stumbled into a fucking box i go dad he's at the fucking show i talked for an hour and a half next time i come back i'll tell you the time will smith wanted to have sex with me it was great doing this thank you very much for having me tops off world tour starts september 14th in raleigh north carolina will be 230 pounds and then we run all through the south atlanta charlotte greenville then evanville evansville uh wichita kansas city dallas houston the following week is fresno uh anaheim yeah fresno anaheim. Yeah, Fresno, Anaheim, and San Diego. And then Red Rocks. Open invite for real if you want to come. And then we're going to watch Goose on Friday.
Starting point is 02:05:10 It's fucking awesome. Kind of jam band-y, mushroom-y. Yeah, I love jam bands. You like The Dead? I like The Dead. You're going to love Goose. I love that I'm going to be the guy to turn you on to Goose. I'm going to send you the playlist. We're going to get what's it called? The Prompto Reads. I'm so excited send you the playlist. We're going to get, what's it called? The prompter reads.
Starting point is 02:05:26 I'm so excited for this show. I feel like I should be like just be one of the guys at the desk. Can I do third mic on this show? You could be whatever you want. Third mic where I just sit in. I'm going to put on a costume so like no one knows me. And then you come in. And then I'll be like, I'll be like, Shawn Michaels will be like,
Starting point is 02:05:43 so I think we should watch the uh sean michaels brent hart thing and i'm like kind of seems like you're pumping your own self up huh and he'll be like and you'll be like he's new here he's new here he's new here i'll be like who the fuck's the guy with the long hair and the mustache and i'll be like the machine yeah all right let get me the fuck out of here dude I'll talk to you all day. Thank you very much. I appreciate you coming on the podcast. Games with names. It was great hanging out with you, dude.
Starting point is 02:06:10 This was great. It was really great. I only wish I was dipping. Boy, was that an episode, Jackie. Incredible. Love Bert. Love him. I mean, we could have gone another three hours.
Starting point is 02:06:22 Easily. Easily. Easily. We got to get him back in here ASAP. We got to get him on again because he's got a plethora of knowledge for sports as we just saw. Stories for days. I mean, he didn't even watch the game. This is like the high of his life.
Starting point is 02:06:37 He loves Florida State. Grew up in that area. That's his school. Dad's a big Florida State fan. You leave to be with the family. I mean, can't knock that, though. Thanks again, though, Bert. We got to get him back on here. that's his school leave dad's a big florida state fan you leave to be with the family i mean can't knock that though thanks again though bert we got to get him back on here that's been another episode of games with names presented by win bet remember to follow games with names on youtube
Starting point is 02:06:57 instagram x twitter what do they call it tick TikTok. And of course, Snapchat. Disappearing messages. What's your snap? See you next week, Jackie. Games with Names is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nicknamed Squeaky. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI.
Starting point is 02:07:46 Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer, this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeart True Crime Plus only on Apple Podcasts. What happens when a professional football player's career ends and the applause fades and the screaming fans move on? I am going to share my journey of how I went from Christianity to now a Hebrew Israelite. For some former NFL players, a new faith provides answers.
Starting point is 02:08:22 You mix homesteading with guns and church. Voila! You got straight away. They try to save everybody. Listen to Spiraled on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm David Eagleman from the podcast Inner Cosmos, which recently hit the number one science podcast in America. I'm a neuroscientist at Stanford, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. Join me weekly to explore the relationship between your brain and your life, because the more we know about what's running under the hood, the better we can steer our lives. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app,
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