Ghostrunners - 158 - Smells Like Iwo Jima in Here
Episode Date: May 16, 2022Gotta be one of the best episodes ever. Live studio audience with Scott and Rachel. Brad doing everything in his power to get cancelled. What more could you ask for? Ghostrunners merch: https://bit.ly.../399MXFu Become a Patron and get exclusive content from Jake & Brad: https://bit.ly/2XJ1h3y Watch this episode on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3cQSPnw Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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All right, here we go. We got some funky fun facts for the audience today.
We got some fun people in the audience today. We got Scott and Rachel hanging out.
What?
It's a weird sentence.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
All right. Funky for the audience today.
Hey guys! Welcome back to the audience today.
Hey.
I want to start over but i'm not gonna all right what are the funky fun uh jake did you know that some cats are actually allergic to humans i did because yeah majority of your brain is fat i have
funky okay uh oranges aren't naturally occurring fruits what does that even mean let's see
unnaturally occurring they are not naturally occurring meaning uh they are a hybrid of
tangerines and pomelos pomelos you know those things the things that you do at the gymnastics
and then you know you're really good at the rings but this guy's really good at pomelos
you you do the pomelos?
Oh, man.
Yeah.
It's like you're talking to a Greek.
Like the first, like Athens, it used to be called the pomelos.
Yeah.
Hey, what do you do in the Olympics?
I do the pomelos.
I don't know if this is funny or I'm just laughing at Scott laughing at you.
I can't tell if it's actually funny or not.
This is actually funny.
Uh-oh. Ooh, I think this tight beat means that it's actually funny or not. This is actually funny. All right.
Welcome back to the audience.
These guys. They're in here.
Listen, and they're having the time.
158 episode audience.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yep.
Here we are.
Brad, how long have you been awake today? I woke up at 512 a. Yeah. Cool. Yep. Here we are. Brad, how long have you been awake today?
I woke up at 512 AM.
Really?
Yep.
That's right.
You slapped yourself before we started recording.
So I figured he probably didn't sleep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, here's a fun fact.
I know we've talked to.
What kind?
This would be a putrid fun fact.
We've talked multiple times in this podcast about like like i've told you stories
about my kids and you're like that's good birth control right there yeah here's another one so
so i've been i've been setting alarms every single morning i've been i've been back on the early
morning train which i like it's one of your favorite trains it's one of it along with soul
um and uh chocolate snakes on a no no dang chocolate train um along with drops of jupiter train there
it is good um so i said hey soul sister 5 12 a.m yeah uh and it was like coinciding with uh
rosie like waking up to nurse um and so katherine you know after you nurse the baby you have to
burp them before they go back to sleep. Okay. I did not.
Yeah.
So it's just like, that's just, they, they need to get the air out or whatever.
So she's like, do you mind just lying here for a second and burping Rosie?
And I was like, sure.
And usually like sometimes when they burp, they'll have a little bit of something coming
out.
I swear, like imagine like an Aquafina bottle, half the Aquafina bottle just like shot all
over me, dude.
Like I was like half asleep. I was like, maybe I'll sleep in till like maybe like wake up at like 6 6 15
and all of a sudden at 5 12 man i mean just iwo jima just came out of here i don't know if that's
a good iwo jima the battle of iwo jima yeah his blood's fluttering do you think that's a geyser do you think iwo jima is a natural old iwo jima
yeah i was trying to think of a good uh metaphor i love yeah yellowstone actually it's on um an
active volcano and it's it's worth it you you every 45 minutes you gotta see iwo jima gotta
see it vesuvius vesuvius and nagasaki is just crazy. So anyway, just like that woke me up.
And I like Catherine was like half asleep, you know, because Rosie was still making noises
or whatever.
And right when that happened, I just go, oh, gosh, get out of here.
So anyway, Rosie felt better.
She fell right to sleep.
And I said, I am getting up right now.
So for you, here I am.
I also had some putridness on my face today.
I was walking out of Trey's house, walking in my car, not a far walk, but enough time for there to be
stuff on my face. I thought a bird pooped on my face. Yeah, that's what I was imagining you were
going to say. Yeah. Which it's tough to ever get that confused with anything else, but that's what
happened today. I was struck by what I think was a very moist leaf. Moist, but it's, yeah.
I've been seeing them more and more lately.
I see them on the golf course.
I've been noticing.
Hold on a second.
Leaves these days are moist, guys.
No, there's a certain, there's a certain kind.
The vultures are circling.
Hold on.
There's a certain kind of leaf I've been seeing,
or something, something nature, naturally occurring.
And-
Scott, can you look up moist leaves? Yeah, let me describe nature naturally occurring and scott can you look up scott look
up let me yeah let me describe this uh naturally occurring thing so it's like a very like yellow
orange like substance and it is sticky as all get out okay and it leaves this residue on you
i happened on the golf course i was like oh that's on my hand couldn't flick it off brad so stuck to
my hand you're talking about the whole leaf you can't flick off tiny little tiny little thing
okay tiny little like like a blade of grass almost we You're talking about the whole leaf you can't flick off? Tiny little thing. Okay.
Tiny little, like a blade of grass almost.
We're not talking about the helicopter things, are we?
No, no, no.
Actually, the whole time I've been saying leaf,
imagine like a blade of grass, like it's that size.
And it is sticky and it is yellow and it is liquid.
And I've been seeing it a lot
and that happened to my face today.
And I regret bringing any of this up.
I should just let you run with it.
I thought a bird pooped on my face.
It was such a wet thing.
But it stayed on.
Did it stay on your face?
Yeah, it stuck on me.
And I was like, oh, it's just that yellow sap.
Like a little sap?
Of course.
Yeah.
Yellow sap.
Really?
Yeah.
Anything?
I Googled naturally occurring moist leaves.
Naturally occurring moist leaves.
The only thing that pulled up was Indian hemp.
It could have been Indian hemp.
I mean, Kansas is known.
Shawnee.
I live in Shawnee. Could have been Indian hemp. I would have preferred Native American hemp. But could have been Indian hemp. I mean, Kansas is known. Shawnee, I live in Shawnee.
Could have been Indian hemp.
I would have preferred native American hemp,
but still Scott's learning.
Scott and I went to,
you know where our elementary school was called?
No.
Black Bob Elementary.
Goodness.
Black Bob Indians.
We were the Black Bob Indians.
My goodness.
Chief Black Bob was like,
I think he founded Olathe.
Oh, okay.
Back in the day.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So in the day. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, that's all that, like, that chant actually came, it's called the realization chant.
Like, anytime somebody, like, it's like enlightenment.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Anyway, I, like, people that are from out of town.
Did you realize we can sterilize water with heat
uh you want me to do one brad yeah i assume that was your name back in the day your name
was still brad back in the day not that much has changed. Raging Brad. Raging Brad. Yeah. Did you know we can eat some of
these animals we've been shooting for fun? I think that's how they did it. I think that's how they did it I think that's If I would have done it again guys I would have said
Buffalo
But I didn't
So anyway I don't know
Oh because of yeah it's probably the Indian leaf
Because yeah we grew up
Yeah black bob
You guys went to a school called black bob
How does that
I was like that I mean that's what they call them it could have been honeydew secretion also when trees and plants
sweat sweat they cool themselves and can cool the surrounding air so maybe that leaf was trying
no that's not what it was it was honey i don't know what it was okay either way a bird did not
poop on my face i was gonna say how much more thankful are you that like like how many times would you like that experience to
happen over a bird pooping on your face like every day of my life yeah i was gonna say yeah
like i'm okay with that happening every single day every day 5 12 5 12 yeah there it is just
every i muted it i obviously you didn't and then i turned it i had to i had to turn back on for the
jingle sorry my dad's texting me what's he saying he said my dad loves to leave me a voice memo and then text me hey brad i left
you a voicemail he said hi brad i left you a message tonight does hattie have a preschool
graduation yes she does and if you listen to that voicemail is it going to say hey brad was just
wondering how you have a preschool graduation. Cool. Nice. So what?
So if I respond to the text, I don't have to respond by call.
Good.
Right.
Great.
Anyway.
So you've been up 512 a.m.
Yeah.
What else?
I think I was up kind of a normal hour.
I woke up in New York City, baby.
Yeah.
And yeah, flew straight here.
Direct flight. You're not supposed to sleep in New York City.
Hmm. Why do you say that?
Because it's the city that never sleeps.
I know.
So however the city acts, that's how you act.
It's like city of fountains. I sweat all the time.
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
So flew straight from New York, straight to Trey's house, recorded a podcast there.
And then straight to the golf course, straight here.
Now Scott's here. Now Scott's here. Now
Rachel's here. Now you're here. Now I'm here. But I'm being about a boom breakfast. So fun,
fun episode. I heard that you almost did something else straight today on the golf course.
Oh, what does that do with Rachel? Um, yeah, almost, I got like, I don't know,
an inch and a half away from a hole in one. Just kind of fun.
Kinda. I don't know. I think Harrison and Isaac were so excited for me that I feel like
I didn't have to be that excited. They were like hooping and hollering. I was like, thanks, guys.
Thanks for being so excited. Yeah. Like, but dinged off the pin. And I was like, that was a fun noise.
That's crazy. So yeah, it would have been cool. But I was like, still pretty close to the hole.
That's still good. That's what I was aiming for. You texted Scott earlier, like like in a group chat and it had like the picture of like where the ball hit compared to the
hole and scott goes if he makes a hole in one before i do i'll be so mad so and then scott
like to be fair he goes and he probably will make a hole one before i do so thanks scott yeah race
you um tell me tell me about new york city I actually really enjoyed my time in New York city yesterday. I, I've never, I haven't been
there since the pandemic happened and it seems just much more open and spacious, less people.
We were performing a block away from time square. Just cool. Right across the street from Broadway.
Off Broadway. We were off Broadway. Yeah. It was really fun. I didn't even know we were that close to time square.
So I was just walking around.
I was like,
it's like 65.
This is amazing.
I'm walking around like,
I'm pretty sure I'm in time square,
which is embarrassing.
This is the Stratford in me.
I had to look at Google maps and to confirm,
I was like,
okay,
this is time square.
I was pretty sure that's what times were like,
but you're like,
I swear that's where the ball drops.
I was like,
but it's not just an actual square.
I don't know.
I mean, this is kind of rectangular.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We're like, yeah, Times Square.
It's full of crap.
Kind of like, was it Dumb and Dumber?
Yeah.
I figured the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this.
Yeah, John Denver's full of crap.
Yeah.
So thankfully, I didn't have to ask anyone.
Would have felt like an idiot.
But were you by yourself just roaming? Yeah. I did a lot of solo exploring the last
two days. The first three days of the trip, just nothing but cold and rainy. And then, um,
the last two days were very sunny, dude. I think I'm in love with Albany, New York.
Yeah. Okay. Underdog. I, all I know about Albany is that they're the capital. That's,
that's all I know. That's correct. Yeah. Ding, ding, ding. What do you love? Well, I think it helped is it had been rainy and cloudy the
three days before it, but I get out of the venue called the egg. It's just like floating orb. It
is an egg shaped thing. Oh, uh, Katie, I think posted on her story. Very cool looking. Yeah.
Really crazy. I went full boomer. I sent Rachel about 19 pictures of my day in Albany. I was like,
look at this and look at that. You would love this tree and I'll look at, you know, whatever.
And, um, but yeah, I think due to the cloudiness the day before i walk outside and it was like i don't know
like the washington monument like lawn i don't know how to describe it like pools like where
jenny gump runs through it was like forest washington mall is that what it's called okay
i was circling the word um but yeah i mean it's just the capital so it's like really nice there's
like this old like victorian looking like chapel looking thing that all these,
like, it also kind of looked like what I imagine North Korea looking like, like four buildings,
all the exact same size, like all equidistant from each other.
Like very uniform.
Yeah.
So it's like, that's kind of interesting.
Also people marching a lot, all these soldiers.
You see what I mean?
Like that right there, a little North Korea ish.
What is that
what like that's the capital they said they said like i don't know empire buildings or something
like that that very right um empire training really pretty yeah yeah so it was nice so i
walked around i walked for miles and miles around albany by myself explored got lost a couple times
it turns out the mc the McDonald's was below me.
That was confusing. I didn't know you could go under the water. I'm going to check out the local sites. I'm going to see all that there is to offer in Albany.
And gosh, dang it, am I going to get some cinnamonies?
Yeah. We weren't in a very, yeah, whatever, whatever. It was the best option at the time.
I had some work to do. And then, yeah, solo explored New York City as well. And it was really fun i was texting rachel so much and just like this is fun i don't know if it's as fun
by myself as it would be if someone else is here with me you know but it's still all right i was
about to yeah before you said that it is obviously fun when somebody else with you but i really enjoy
doing stuff by myself like that like i don't know exploring though yeah i mean exploring so fun to
have someone you just need someone
else to be like, do you see that? I'm like, yeah, that's all I want. Nice. Yeah. I really like
though, like, especially cause Catherine and I are obviously like so compatible, but so different.
And so like, there's things that she is just so much more interested in than I am. And like,
when you're by yourself, you literally like walk in and you're like, okay, I get the vibe of this
place and I don't like it. So I'm, I'm out of here. I i've always said i think i've said on the podcast before museums are the one thing i would
do that by myself for sure yeah you want to go at your own pace and use exactly because because
some things are like i don't want to read this at all yeah but i'm already 15 you know plaques in
front of katherine so i can't i can't go like too much farther eventually just sit on a bench and
wait for her yeah sure so anyway but um yeah how but yeah, how were the, the shows were good?
Shows were great.
The DC, so typically what happens whenever there's a big break going into a show, I feel
like our, we kind of forget what these crowds are like.
And our first show back is normally like, whoa, that was awesome.
I still remember Boise.
Boise was our first show after like three weeks, taking that kind of a winter, like
Christmas break.
And we came back feeling like we were Nate Bargatze in Boise.
It was like, that is so loud. a winter, like Christmas break. And we came back feeling like we were Nate Bargatze in Boise. It was like, that is so loud.
So that was like the standard.
And then we get to Washington DC and it's like,
man, that's way quieter, right?
It was just like something about the venue.
I think it's all like, I think it's,
it makes such a big difference the way the house is set up.
The acoustics.
Yeah, just the acoustics of the building.
Cause they were just so far away from us.
And we all came away from it being like, man,
I mean, the specials in a week and a half. I't know like we were all kind of dejected which is funny because i bet like i bet they just enjoyed it just as much as
just i know we say the same thing every night i'm sure they loved it and you're probably like so
not numb obviously you're not numb you said boise was crazy but like you're just so used to like
eruption that like oh this was like a good crowd it wasn't like
yeah it was just like yeah borderline yeah it was just different but then like the next four
nights were just amazing wilmington delaware good good crowd yeah um biden showed up um
no i don't know there was someone in a mask up top could have could have been him could have
been him could have been he's on the top of the food chain that's what they say kind of i don't know uh but yeah the shows were all really
really good um i have other like specific stuff i can say but um yeah they're really fun i'm really
excited for the special coming up soon should be a good time by the time this comes out it's
already happened so great that's kind of crazy yeah dude i was listening to the podcast last
week and you were like like you were like yeah by, like you're like, I guess most of the shows were already recorded actually, or we've already performed actually, no in New York, you know, tonight. Yeah. It's tonight. And I thought to myself, like, it's crazy. Even like me as, as somebody who's not in your shoes is not like not like touring with you, I think I've become
like, oh yeah, Jake's doing a tour again.
But then I think about it, I'm like, it's crazy how many shows you guys have done.
Yeah.
Do you know the number?
Someone was telling me, like one of Trey's agents I was talking to last night, I think
we're at like 80 cities.
And then we have a handful of double headers and even triple headers in like Royal Oak
and Oklahoma City.
So I mean, maybe 95 shows.
That's crazy.
Something like that.
I don't know.
Getting up there.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
I mean, just the amount of, I was thinking that, like I was walking down the steps last
night in New York and I was like, the amount of like different buildings I've been in.
Right.
Just like different dressing rooms I've navigated, different showers.
I've like, you know, convinced myself that water is good enough.
You know, like I don't need soap.
It's hot water.
That's kind of true though honestly i think it builds up after a while like you know of course yeah but like well
i don't know i think you're right obviously you need soap eventually especially if you have like
literal mud on you or dirt or something but like if you go swimming every single day what do you think
yeah girls okay rachel's blonde do you ever have have you ever had like green hair from swimming
too much yes really green hair shampoo in the summer my sister was blonde uh and is blonde
still um congrats and yeah i think she had green hair a few times really Really? Smelled funky. Funky hair, funky fun facts.
But anyway, I think that if I
swim in the pool every day, I might not
shower that often.
As long as I'm not sweating like crazy.
Swimming's fun. It's getting me excited to swim.
Just being submerged is fun. You love being
submerged. I love being buoyant.
Yeah. It makes me feel weightless.
Weightless, yeah.
I'm just fine in the pool baby i can't wait
we're actually doing uh we're doing swimming lessons with hattie and beau uh like this month
lifetime gives uh four complimentary with you know your really expensive membership uh for
complimentary that's so nice lessons and so but they need a parent to like like for two and under
you need a parent to be with them so me and beau Bo, we're going to learn how to swim together.
Good.
They're going to be like, you know, I'm going to be trying to like tread water with them
and I'm going to be sinking.
I'm like such a, I'm like a one out of 10 swimmer.
Really?
I am not.
I like passed the lifeguard test at camp, but it was such a joke.
Oh, really?
I feel like I knew people who threw up doing that.
Yeah, that's fair.
People did throw up when I did it.
Yeah, yeah.
And I don't
know i was like why are you throwing up they're just like swimming laps but it wasn't like i don't
know crazy you have to like dive down and get a brick or something yeah you had to do that i maybe
i'm a better swimmer i don't know i'm a big boy i just jump and i'm dead the bottom like what
it's not that hard you didn't even know you had to dive and get the brick i found this brick when
i touched the touch the Hey. I jumped in.
My foot hit something.
His name was Carol.
Hey, Carol.
I don't know.
Like this kind of a hazard.
Do you mind just putting this on the side?
Like you're in.
Good, Brad.
Good.
The hardest thing.
Have you guys done lifeguard training?
The hardest thing they make you do.
Like if somebody ever has a neck injury, like you have to jump in the water, like, and you
have to be very careful not to like create a splash when you get in the water and so that you imagine me trying to like you're like
why don't i just work on them once they're already out of the pool yeah uh yeah i'm more of a mouth
to mouth guy i'm more of like a you hold them steady and i'll cannonball them out of the like
like catapult them out of there towards the edge and let me jump in next to him
like it was like that was the one i think i had to redo like five times
because you just have to like how did you even very like shimmy in there And let me jump in next to him. Like, it was, like, that was the one I think I had to redo, like, five times.
Because you just have to, like, you have to, like, very, like, shimmy in there.
Like, okay.
And Carol's like, nope, too much of a splash.
It moved, you know, like, it's like, okay.
And then, you know, it's, like, miserable for me to get out of a pool, dude.
I hate getting out of it.
Oh, my gosh.
You know what's worse than getting out of a pool? Because it's either like, yeah, it's either like swinging the leg around or I have to
go with the ladder.
You know, I have to be that guy.
So yeah.
Anyway.
Hey, no shame in the ladder game.
That's okay.
That's what we got to do.
Yeah.
Have you ever had to get out of a foam pit like a sky zone?
That's brutal.
Yeah, that's fair.
There's a, yeah, exactly.
The, um, not the foam pit, but there's also like a huge pillow thing at Urban Air or Skyzone or something like that.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Like a blob?
No, maybe it's like a foam pit.
Maybe it's like the same thing.
But like my sister told me one time, she's like, FYI, do not try to jump in that thing.
You know what I'm talking about?
What would you describe it as?
It really is like, it's almost like a blob, but less inflated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going of like springboard anyone if you jump onto it right but if you get in there yeah you sink
yes like like i watch like 12 year old like boys like i mean i watch these 12 year old boys and i
mean i was kidding i mean i was like studying them i was like i took a couple videos like just
so i could see.
The lighting was almost like too bright in there over time.
So I put some sunglasses on and I just, I put a trench coat on and I just studied those boys.
No, but yeah, like, like, like 115 pound kids are getting engulfed in this thing.
I was like, I will never come out of that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have a well-intested ready before you go in.
Exactly.
I Googled urban air pillow and I'm looking at one in omaha and
it looks uh suffocating well the omaha one is the worst you yeah yeah there's shucks of corn in
there yes it kind of hurts so anyway uh wow okay here we are how'd we get there i don't know
joe lifeguard swimming lessons buoyant buoyant showers. It's summertime, baby. It's summer.
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Dude, speaking of summer,
it was so hot today. It was so humid. I got
sweaty. It was crazy hot last night. We played
our basketball game and I don't think that
there was an air conditioner on in the whole arena.
It was crazy hot. I'm ready to hear about the
basketball game.
The group text was, I mean,
it was so fun, so confusing and i obviously
was not there i was performing off broadway right um not the shoe store not the off-broadway shoes
dsw way better for way better eruption there um okay so nick mangold does that name ring a bell
football player yeah he was at the show last night really yeah he's like a pro bowler yeah
what's his accolades look at that we're trying. Really? Yeah. He's like a pro bowler. Scott, look it up. What's his accolades? Look it up. We're trying to get Scott
involved. He's got a think pad.
He hosts a show, too, I think. He hosts a show.
Scott said he hosts a show. Figure it out, Scott.
I don't want your best guess. Figure it out.
Seven-time pro bowl selection with the Jets.
Seven-time. Seven-time pro bowler.
What's he playing? He's right going? He listens to me.
I'm going to go center.
No, out.
Oh, okay. Fine. That's cool. That's cool. Okay. Fine.
That's cool. I guess so. I guess if Scott says it. Okay. So yeah, we had our basketball game
last night. So I believe as we were warming up, Scott was like, like we look, we always look at
the other team. You're always like kind of sizing them up and seeing if they look good or how tall
they were. And I was really excited for this other team because there was a guy that was obviously going to be the guy I was guarding all night.
He had trouble with lifeguard training.
Exactly. He loves being buoyant as well. Like he had an inner tube with him. And so,
but I was like, okay, cool. And they only had five guys. And I was like, great. We only had six,
but like, I mean, that's fine.
And getting the six, this, I obviously, I don't know the story, but I think it might
help to build the context. It took a lot to get Rustin there, right?
Right. Yeah. So Rustin, um, you know, for his job, he goes to Houston like once every month
or something like that. And, uh, we should start doing that. That'd be fun. Top golf. Yeah. Sorry
for work. I got to go on a corporate retreat. Yeah. Sorry. They called a retreat. You can't do it here.
Yeah.
But he was supposed to leave.
Like he lives so far south and like the airport is probably an hour and a half from his house.
And so he was supposed to leave for the airport like three thirty the next morning. And we had the latest game of the night at nine thirty.
And so, yeah, I was like, Rustin, you have to come.
If you don't come, we're going to not win.
Like he's the best player.
Honestly, we probably could have pulled it out without rust in last night but we get there and we're like these
guys look rough like they finally like because the rest of the league we've been playing in the
guys were really like pretty solid yeah better than us like yeah definitely better in shape than
us whatever all these things i was like we can beat these guys we start out and i don't know what in the world happened to
us dude like we i think that the uh score to start the game was 19 to 4 them okay they were just
and this is a team that sucks they suck like oh they didn't they were making shots at the
beginning of the game okay and we just couldn't it was like comical like rustin two different times
like the beginning of the game.
Yeah, like wide open under the basket and just missed layups.
Okay.
And like the rest of it.
I mean, everyone was just struggling.
Garrett hadn't gotten there until like right before the game.
We were really worried he wasn't going to get there.
So he didn't play for like the first eight minutes.
So maybe that's the correlation.
Yeah, that's the problem.
I think we kind of pulled it close near the end of the first half.
You pulled one of the players close?
Yeah.
We were just like, hey, man, listen.
That's the other thing.
I tried to talk to the...
Did you hear me try to joke around with the guys?
They did not think I was funny.
They were not having it.
We should know better by now.
People don't want to joke around at rec basketball games.
It's hard.
Yeah.
These guys just were not fun.
But at one point in the first
half we had old old man ref again so remember the very first week like was like calling every
single foul that like even if you don't touch the guy like yeah we're just very bad i thought he was
confusing i figured because he's asthmatic i thought he was confusing his inhaler for the
whistle the way he was blowing on it he was was just like, every time you breathe, basically inhale, exhale kind of thing. Um, but at one point he calls a foul. And I think,
I think, I don't know what Scott, maybe Scott said something or I don't know what happened,
but, but I, you know, 10 seconds later, he was like, Hey, don't, don't cuss. Hey, you can,
you can disagree with my calls, but do not cuss. Do not cuss at me. And I, I like, I think he was
kind of talking to me and I was like, I don't know who you thought cuss, me and i i like i think he was kind of talking to me i was like i i don't know
who you thought cuss but i guarantee you our team did not cuss like i guarantee you none of us said
anything that's not what we do i don't know i didn't like you know share the bridge with them
or anything but i was like no that's not a little do you start it off a little bit like there's a
separation yeah like the wages of sin is death okay yeah god's over here we're over here it's
like how are we gonna to get to him?
The Roman road.
Um,
so I,
but it was like,
it was like, that'd be fun to slowly share the gospel throughout the game.
All right.
I'm going to leave you there.
And in the second half,
I'm going to finish the story.
All right.
I kind of like it.
And Isaac's the Christ figure.
He just like throws down on you.
He's hanging there.
This is the bread.
Father, forgive them. Um, throws down on you he's hanging there this is the bread father forgave them um no but but he was kind of like you could tell the ref was just a little bit i don't know sensitive he was on edge
okay um and then it was the second half right when this happened yeah uh first half no no second
half a second i love that scott knows what you're talking about yeah uh the guy missed a free throw on the other team isaac rebounds the ball and this guy on the other
team just yells over the back okay and immediately boom this'll heat him up
i mean and like the guy couldn't believe he's like for saying over the bat, I could
not believe anything.
And this guy's like, this guy's like, you can't do that, man.
You're out.
And in our league, remember, like if you get a technical, you have to be out for five minutes.
Do you remember that?
Remember the guy like a couple of weeks ago, I had a technical.
Oh yeah.
On the other team.
Yeah.
Cause that has happened to us.
But they had six, like last couple of weeks ago when that happened, they had six guys
in their team.
I forgot about that. Yeah. These guys, they only had five weeks ago when that happened, they had six guys in their team. I forgot about that.
Yeah.
These guys, they only had five guys.
So they literally, we had a power play.
Power play.
It was five on four for five minutes.
And all of it, I think we were up by, we were down like one maybe when that happened.
And we're like, okay guys, like, like we didn't even, the funny thing was that we didn't even
like really strategize what to do on defense.
We were just like, I don't know, just like try to steal the ball every single time.
Garrett, go crazy. Garrett both took turns just running around double teaming people yeah
garrett yeah yeah you guys were just hustling around uh so anyway and you know i tried to joke
around with that guy i was like hey man like you're not supposed to cuss like you're not like
you can't you can't this is kansas missouri i wouldn't say back like that yeah don't say otb
yeah otb like just just abbreviate it or whatever and then near the end of the game jokingly and this was like this like really put him over the
edge oh no jokingly i yell over the back did you hear me say that and the other the guy that got
the technicals like he just said it was awesome uh but like yeah i mean there were lots of little things so i don't know i i was i
was on like a little bit of a goofy kick last night anyway but yeah like the last two weeks
they've been having rap music like over the like loudspeakers yeah i didn't like that last week
okay it's even harder when the rap music stops like 15 minutes like like when the game has 15
minutes left what's that it's harder because the the rap music stops the rap music stopped and all
of a sudden it was like really quiet it was like okay this is awkward um sorry but the last song
was that uh praise god by kanye west oh that's i figured there's an inside joke when you sent us
that video i was like i don't get it Anybody doesn't know. Let me impersonate real quick
See stars work
sick by the side
sick by the way
women sir
I was doing that the entire second half
This guy gets a technical foul over the back. Gets technical.
And like, I think Rustin or Luke's shooting the free throws.
And I'm just like at half court, just being like, see someone?
See someone?
The other team's just not having it at all.
Oh man, that's too bad.
But we're just messing around.
We're being funny.
It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun though.
We had a lot of fun.
And then I went out for like the last four minutes of the game.
Who's that?
It was awesome.
I always have so much fun.
I went out for the last four minutes and all of a sudden they like fouled like every single possession with,
with like one and a half minutes left.
Minute 50 left.
They started.
How much were we up by?
A minute 50.
Minute 50.
We're up by eight points.
And somehow, what did we end up winning by?
Three.
Three points.
So it sounds like we made our free throws.
I know.
I'm joking.
No, we actually did make the free throws.
That's the thing.
That's the crazy thing.
We almost lost.
Okay, but this is like the most classic Scott thing ever.
So first of all, the the last like shot um
garrett is on the line with i think he was up we were up by one point when garrett was shooting
we're up by one maybe i don't know honestly i was talking to peyton and uh denia the whole time um
yeah um but garrett was shooting his free throws and i was just in this goofy mood. How much time is left to interrupt by one? 12 seconds? 15 seconds?
Sure. See, I couldn't see.
But like
I was in this goofy mood so like purposely
I decided like as he's like
about to shoot it, I go,
Let's go Garrett!
And Scott of course being like
why would you talk during somebody's backswing? He's like
What are you doing? Garrett's on our team. He makes the shot. And I was like, listen,
Garrett could take it. You know, Isaac, the next time down, I was like, I'm not going to say
anything to Isaac. Uh, but you know, so then we were up by three points. That's so fun.
They had the ball with like, and they shot it at half court. And this is the most classic Scott
thing ever. The guy misses it.
And what does Scott do?
Like the guy misses it.
Like this is a buzzer beater.
It's like going to overtime.
What does Scott do?
He laughs in his face.
Scott did not laugh in his face.
Yes, you do.
You know how Scott does that?
I think I can imagine.
You're playing pickleball,
and it's like an amazing point,
and Scott wins it.
He's just like,
he's not like shoving it in his face but scott just like laughs out of
excitement yeah yeah yeah every once in a while when you're on the other team you're like you
know what scott you can shut up i was just laughing because of the way the game finished
like well garrett i ran a down and out for garrett and he just throws a laser to half
oh yeah i saw intercepted by a guy. In a tube. Another guy.
In a tube.
Yeah.
And then he chucks up a half court shot
and I was laughing because
I had a perfect view of the shot
and I was like,
this is going in.
Yeah.
This is going to be the craziest
end to a game ever.
And yeah.
And then he missed and I laughed.
Isn't that the most classic Scott thing
you ever heard though?
It does kind of make sense.
And it also makes sense
because I was like,
how's the game?
And Garrett goes,
I threw a pick six.
So it must've been that
because I was- That was a pretty good pass.
I was pretty confused.
That was terrible.
Oh, maybe I'm doing that one.
Anyway, it was fun.
Why are you guys launching so many basketballs?
It was really bad at the end of the game.
Like, I don't think, like, I didn't realize, I wasn't watching the score.
I was literally just, like, I was getting to know Peyton on the sideline.
Good.
Asking questions about her.
Wait, while you were in? No, no, no, no, no. I was out for like the last four minutes. That's honestly, I mean,
direct correlation. Um, but all of a sudden Scott,
I think Scott was like, we're only up by two points. I was like, what?
The way we're acting, like we are,
we seem like we are just dominating these guys. But, um, anyway,
all that to say on a normal week, I think we beat that team by 30 points.
And we barely beat this team.
So dang, that sounds so fun, though.
I wish I could have been there.
Yeah.
And then freaking Isaac and Luke were like,
man, that was not fun at all.
I'm so ready to go home.
I was like,
why are you guys being buzz kills about this?
I had fun.
It sounds fun.
Yeah, we had fun.
So I was sweating like crazy.
Scott did a great dad joke.
I was wearing like the class,
like the same red shirt
I've always been wearing
this like whole season.
And Scott goes,
I'm going to start calling
Brad Maru five
because he's like
all these different shades of red.
That's a good one.
I'm like, good one, dude.
Anyway.
Delivery's totally off.
Totally botched it.
Anyway, it was a great time.
We had fun.
Dang.
That is really fun.
Are you going to be there next week?
I would be, but we don't have a game this Monday.
That's right.
Probably.
So yeah, it's a bad
week to invite ghost hunters to come to your um basketball game is this week just come just just
in case yeah this tonight really this monday um high school graduation going on but yeah next week
will be fun yeah it's funny i like actually at hy-v last night i felt a little bit of nostalgia
because it was really hot and like it felt like that same game from last summer so um cool so how does that work i feel like when it gets humid outside all
of a sudden inside is also humid how does it happen that way when especially when you play
basketball it feels that way it feels like the inside knows that it's like going through events
it's like yeah seriously something's at play here do you have a computer
that you're gonna google hey scott rachel um figure it out figure it out how come humidity
inside versus outside in in summertime humid indoors something like that maybe
put a question mark in the in the search i like i like learning how different people google things
because like you google things in like complete sentences sometimes don't you i don't know like like if
you were like like where like what do skunks eat oh yeah something like that i would look like i
would look up like skunk diet or something like that huh what humidity is higher in the summer
because warm air holds more moisture sick air that is 68 degrees can hold 10 times more
water than air that's 32 degrees um brad is this sounding like this is answering the question
at all are you throwing out facts that are kind of irrelevant
throwing us off the scene just like adjacent facts adjacent. The humidity today was 34%. And that's 10 times more than if it were only 66 degrees.
But five times less than if it were 32 degrees in Canada.
Cause they use,
they use Fahrenheit.
We're getting further away from the answer.
I have a story that I meant to say last week on the podcast, and I forgot.
Do you mind if I say it now?
Please do.
That's how Dave getting on the news came about.
I realized, like, I forgot to tell him about that dad thing.
Sorry.
You're not calling him Dean threw me off.
Yeah, right.
And now I got it.
So it's.
Yeah.
Two weeks ago, I get home from something.
Doesn't matter.
And Isaac's on the recliner and I'm kind of in a hurry.
And he's talking to me because something else has gone wrong with his truck.
I mean, it's just one thing after another.
I feel bad for him.
He's having to shell out so much money to fix his truck.
And so he's like, I could tell he's upset.
He's like venting to me like, you know, this thing happened.
After a while, I was like, dude, I'm so sorry.
Like, I'm happy to like talk to you about this later.
But Rachel's going to be here in 15 minutes. This is my window to poop. It's gotta
be right now. Like, I'm so sorry. Like it has to be right now. He's like, 15 minutes is ambitious
for you too. Thank you. Yeah. I let him talk for a while. I let him talk for a while and I was like,
it's got, it's now or never. It has to be right. I got to cut them off and cut them off so you can cut to pinch. Yeah. I go in and I
do my thing and we do about 14 minutes worth of business. And like when I, you're, you're,
you're getting all your time's worth in there. Yeah. I'm going to fill it up. Parkinson's law.
And right when I'm like flushing, leaving the door, washing the hands, actually,
I think I'm literally washing my hands when I hear Rachel come in. I'm like, just in time. Okay. Just did it. Congrats. And then I think Rachel's like,
hey, Isaac. And she's like, where's Jake? And he's like in his room. And so she walks in
and she goes, whoa. Hold on. Rachel, do you remember this?
What kind of animal you got? What kind of animal is that?
She takes one step into my room.
She goes, whoa, it smells really good in here.
And my heart, between really and good,
I was just like ready to stay in the bathroom the rest of the night.
I was like, just go home.
Just go.
I'll see you next week. But luckily, right when you walk in is where i have like a little wallflower and i had
a new like kiwi pomegranate going i guess saved the day saved the day uh yeah massive turnaround
victory there um real underdog story kiwi palm under duke story under duke story and um yeah
i forgot to share that but yeah it was those are pivotal milliseconds
between really and good it smells really good he goes whoa and i could i go really she's like yeah
why are you sure just and isaac who's fully aware the situation is dying laughing on the
recliner he is laughing so hard out there you're like well come a few steps closer come come over
here you really think it smells that yeah that's funny it was awesome so really you're like well come a few steps closer come come over here you really think it smells
that yeah that's funny it was awesome so really you're a fruity fan something like that i don't
know good for you actually speaking of fruits yesterday i was walking around new york city
rachel and i've been playing well i should say i've been playing a lot of games with rachel
whenever i'm gone i have like visual games of like like this morning i sent her a picture
we'll just connect for it yeah i sent her a picture. What did you just connect for?
Yeah.
I sent her a picture of all these different like options at LaGuardia Airport.
And I was like, which one of these do you think I ate breakfast at?
Fun visual game.
Oh, can I play?
With non-visuals?
Okay.
I would like to win.
Okay.
I would like to win.
Did Rachel get it right?
No, she guessed the opposite.
She did not.
All right.
I can't wait to beat Rachel.
I can't wait to like laugh in your face like Scott laughs in everybody's face when he beats him. Okay. She did not. All right. I can't wait to beat Rachel. I can't wait to like laugh in your face. Like Scott laughs in everybody's face when he beats him.
Um, okay. Well just here, I'll just let you look at the image and then you can read off the options. Okay. We got Dunkin' Donuts. We got, what's that say? Hal's Essentials?
Elps Essentials. ELPS maybe. I mean, that sounds like a thing you go to master school for.
Where are you going? I'm getting my ELPS maybe I mean that sounds like a thing you go to master school for where are you going I'm
getting my ELPS it'd be nice to have the ELPS next to my name I'll tell you that
Zorro's family bakery I didn't I was I was concentrating on this hill country barbecue
sandwiches fried chicken that's got to be it um green leaves salads smoothies and sandwiches
oh Rachel Rachel like thought the best of you and thought you were going to green leafs.
But really you went to Dunkin'.
Yeah, you have it opposite.
Rachel also guessed Dunkin'.
I went to green leaf.
Good for you.
Green leaf boy.
How was it?
Good.
I just, I got a blueberry flax smoothie.
What's so funny?
Well, I was just thinking that was probably why you were in the bathroom,
but that was a different time.
Why? Wait, what's flax? I just feel like flaxseed
has a fiber in it, right?
Gotcha. Benefits of flaxseed.
This is a
question I can find.
Benefits of flaxseed.
These two people over here, definitely, they're high
in the diet. Yeah, they are eating
more flax than we are. I just think of holly flax loaded with nutrients nutrients fatty acids omega-3 fatty
may help protect against cancer cancerous your fiber cancer fibrous may lower cholesterol levels
cholesterol is cholesterol blood pressure blood pressure blood pressure may stabilize the blood
pressure list may help you manage your weight versatile and easy to use
hold on what was the last one easy to use
in what way i like the idea of some foods not being easy to use it's fun to consume but not easy to use yeah i don't know that chicken is tough
yeah caught it not easy to use let's talk about um uh yeah food that's easy to use i don't know
this is not bad this is a bad transition but um try it again mother let's talk about um flaxseed
type foods like flaxseed's a type of food. Other types of food are like found at restaurants,
so you know.
That was way better.
Like when Pam's like,
I'd like to give Michael
a second try.
Totally nailed it.
Yeah.
Yeah, anyway.
Hey, Jan, how you doing?
So,
I'm trying to remember
exactly what he said.
Mrs. Levinson,
I presume.
Still me.
Hey, Jan, how you doing?
So anyway, we went to this restaurant.
Mother's Day, we went.
Catherine's like, Catherine.
Oh, you guys do Mother's Day.
Yeah, we're out.
America.
My family has been doing that for a while.
Middle America, we decided to celebrate that.
So no, but she, Catherine was like, I think we should do hibachi, like a Japanese steakhouse,
hibachi grill for Mother's Day.
I was like, with all the kids?
You think that's a good idea?
Sitting up at the hot stove where the fire comes out?
It looks like Iwo Jima in there.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like freaking Iwo Jima on the other side of that stove.
Thanks for reinforcing the joke. yeah yeah um no but but uh but but i i just tried to like
have like real realistic expectations but i was like someone's gonna choke on a shrimp i was like
because i i can roll with the punches i'm fun like i'm i'm fun loving with this stuff
katherine gets more stressed obviously because she's the mom and she worries way more about the kids than I do, honestly. But like, like, and so I was like,
just be prepared that the kids might have a terrible time. Is that okay? She's like,
I'm okay with that. I still think we should do it. Uh, and so we went and first of all,
we went to this one in Olathe. I think I told Scott about this. Um, and right when we walk in,
I was like, this was the wrong place to go it just was like a c plus
as far as like cleanliness goes like everything just felt a little sticky a little bit like the
indian honey grass or whatever you're talking about indian moss grass is what you think i said
earlier indian hemp whatever scott said that okay i was just like i said honeydew the indian hemp it
felt like indian hemp was all over these counters um
but we get right in there we they take our order right away which is like a it's like that's a pro
move for parenting is like order right away so you can get going yeah and you know how do you
watch it from afar is like this is pretty cool we were like telling like hattie it's like these
chefs kind of like in ratatouille she loves that movie she was really excited about these chefs
having these hats and everything that's fun um and then they get over to our table and they're
like okay and there might be a little bit of fire going and they you know they do the they throw the
whatever that liquid is on there and take a match and right when it happens that's what they sound
like that's what they do they make they make syllables like that. Do they not? I was there two days ago. That's what they do
That's what they do don't act like this is like some offensive thing that's what they do
You made a lot of noises this episode. So anyway,
there,
I mean,
they're doing it.
And like the fire,
you know,
goes up four feet in the air and Hattie is terrified.
Like she,
she's so scared.
She's like burying herself in Catherine.
Oh no.
Hattie's the one.
Oh yeah.
Oh no.
Like Bo's like,
I think Bo's just like not smart enough yet to really know.
So he's just like,
just looking around like,
whoa,
you know, he was really excited that I had a drink like i got a shirley temple and he's like i want that drink
yeah um so anyway uh so he's freaking out but then like she kind of gets it down because i told her
like we're gonna have rice and she loves rice so you know it's the little things and so they like
give her some rice she loving it and then then they go around to throw the shrimp at everybody. It's the classic.
This is what I said.
And we're,
we're at a,
we'll call it shortstop and third base in the lineup.
Like,
so Catherine's the very last person to go.
And this woman,
Catherine's on third.
Catherine's on third.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So the very first woman's like,
I'm allergic to shellfish.
I didn't buy it.
I was like,
she just doesn't want to embarrass herself.
She's mother's day.
Like,
good for you.
Thankful for mothers, but you're a liar. Um, but they go around, you know,
cause it's like this family, like family of four. And then there's another, there's us, uh,
on the other side, family of four all goes. And then they like, all right, big man, you know,
throws it to me. I missed the first one. I'm not great at this. I'm not proud of my, I'm not proud
of this part of my life. Um, and so I missed the first one, catch the second one. I'm not great at this. I'm not proud of my, I'm not proud of this part of my life. Um, and so I missed the first one,
catch the second one.
I'm like,
okay,
one for two is not bad for me.
Like breakfast ball.
Yeah.
I know my own standards here.
Um,
and they go to Catherine and I think Catherine in another life could have
been a,
like a professional shrimp catcher.
Um,
like I think,
I think back in the day,
you should put her in a program tournament.
Maybe we've thought about it.
Yeah.
But just this time,
this stage of life,
the kids were thinking about probably 10 years down the road down the road when the kids can kind of fend for
themselves a little bit more. Uh, no, but they throw the first one at Catherine and I feel like
it was a bad throw. Like it's, this guy's kind of just nonchalant. Uh, let's say it was ski ball.
What like score is he getting on the throw? It was, it was like way outside and then swooped
down. So it was like the lowest score. 10. Yeah, it was a 10. Okay. Second throw.
I'll say that one was pretty accurate.
We'll call that a 50.
Like, oh, well, is that,
I don't know what the scoring is in skeet ball.
That's great.
Okay.
Catherine still didn't catch it.
Okay.
And then third one,
I feel like it was pretty good throw.
Catherine's still like,
I think it maybe hit her forehead or something.
Almost.
And so she's on third base.
So they're like,
we're going to keep going until we catch one.
On Mother's Day?
And so, yeah, he keeps like breaking the shrimp out
in the smaller pieces.
And he's got one more piece left.
And, you know, it was kind of a little bit of a-
Good for Catherine for giving it four tries on this.
And it was kind of a little bit of like a, like silence,
you know, a little bit of a hesitation.
And he's like, all right, here we go.
And he throws it to her and it just nails her in the cheek,
like right on and just falls off
and i died laughing i thought it was the funniest thing and like throughout the night like you know
every 15 20 minutes i'd be like oh my gosh that was so funny with you in the face except four
times it makes a little bit of a noise each time yeah you know like yeah and she kind of lunged for
it you know and missed man. And then like probably
the fourth time I like made fun of her. Cause she's like very, she's not very sensitive. Like
she's not, she just goes, okay, I think that's enough. Probably good. It was like, she kind of,
like, she kind of snapped out of it. Like, okay. All right. All right. It's still mother's day.
I was like, Catherine, we're laughing together. Right. She's like, we were,
so please stop. And I was like, okay, I'm sorry.
You know?
So anyway, it was, but like the visual of that last time, cause it was like, you got
to get the last one.
Like the fourth one, no one gets four tries.
Yeah.
I mean, just because the lady on first was shellfish allergic.
So she wasn't going to say it's like, here we go.
And just the miss and, you know, how do you still talks about it?
Like, oh man, dad caught a shrimp in his mouth.
But anyway.
That sounds fun.
It was really fun.
Rachel, we should go.
I wanna, yeah.
Two thumbs up.
I would love to go.
I'll go with you guys if you ever wanna go.
That's because I'll pay for your guys' food
if you can get me and Catherine to go
just so I can watch Catherine do that again.
It was so funny.
Rachel, is it cool if Brad comes too?
He kind of invited himself. Yeah, I'd love to. Okay again. It was so funny. Rachel, is it cool if Brad comes too? He kind of invited himself.
Yeah.
Okay.
Brad, you can come.
Great.
Yeah.
I'm not against it.
So anyway, Mother's Day was great.
I got to work on my mouth-eye coordination before we go.
I don't think mine's that great.
I also, I think there is,
I studied the other tables after we went.
Good, were there some 12-year-old boys over there?
I'll tell you what
There is a correlation between where you're sitting and how accurate the chef kind of batters
I like you had a good backdrop. Yes, exactly. That's exactly it
No, I mean I was like pretty much straight on and Catherine was over to the side
So I think there was like spin on the ball or something. Yeah, but anyway
But it was fun man. Yeah, Bo Bo loved it the whole time. Hattie
I think Hattie is like, I'll go back again in my
life, but not too many times because I'm
kind of scared of the fire. I was like, that's
fair. All right. Good assessment. Yeah.
So anyway, it was fun time.
Brad, we'd like to participate in another
visual fun Jake's
Away. So Rachel will play a game.
All right. So this is why I brought this up in the
first place. But this was why I brought this up in the first place.
But this was a drink that I got from Shake Shack yesterday.
Manhattan, New York City.
There are three fruits and only three fruits.
Okay.
In this drink.
Okay.
For everyone listening at home.
It is.
How would you describe this color, Brad?
I would say it's like if a Mountain Dew got left with ice in the cup outside and 90 degree day for 45 minutes okay so it's like it's like it's
pretty electric yellow but not like as electric a little deeper green yeah yeah
looks like what hit me on the face this afternoon honestly it's this color okay
which three fruits you you guys? Lemon. No. Really?
Okay.
Lime.
Yes.
Okay.
Way better than Rachel already.
Stink it.
Stink it.
In my top three, so stink it.
Okay.
Lime.
Mango.
No.
Lime.
Thank you for repeating the answer each time. Lime. Pineapple. No. Lime. Thank you for repeating the answer each time.
Lime.
Pineapple.
No.
Lime.
Guava.
No.
Lime.
Passion fruit.
No.
Lime.
I was going to say passion fruit.
I'm trying to think of other fruits.
Everyone listening right now is like, yes.
Okay.
Lime.
Apple.
Yes.
Grape. No.
Lime. Apple. These are all three fruits right all three will be
fruits okay lime apple uh uh y'all out of fruit no banana wrong i know the fruits. Banana. Oranges. Orange. No. Dang. Banana.
Lime.
Yes.
Apple.
Yes.
Pear?
Nope.
No pear.
No, it's definitely not pear.
Stop.
Lime.
You can't even think of fruit.
I can too.
Plum.
Plum.
That's not plum.
I get you.
It's not plum. No plum.
No plum.
It's a plum.
It's not a plum.
It's a plum.
Lime. I get you. It's not a plum. No plum. No plum. It's a plum. It's not a plum. It's a plum. Lime.
Apple.
Strawberry.
No.
No.
The whole reason I thought of this is because we were talking about one.
Wow.
It smells really good in here.
Kiwi.
Yeah.
Scott's like, Kiwi.
I've eaten a Kiwi before.
That's the crazy thing about it.
I know what Kiwis are.
When I think of that.
It's kind of like when you don't know the outline of a state.
It's like, oh, South Dakota, I've heard of that.
I've seen it.
I've seen it a thousand times.
Right.
Oh, man.
Anyway.
That's kind of a fun game.
You guys play fun games. All the time. Are you guys still wordling? Oh, that's kind of a fun game you guys play fun games all the time are you guys still wordling uh oh that's a bummer you brought that up rachel missed another one and
she's devastated missed it missed it today uh missed her second wordle ever um so yeah she
what you even text me she's like i'm sorry if you would like to no longer go steady with someone who
can't even get wordle right. And I'm thinking about it.
I'm thinking about it.
That's the text I got when I got off the plane.
I was like, oh, rough scene.
Really?
I go back to New York.
Yeah.
You're still 100%.
Yeah.
I would say that that's that's more of the anomaly than not like that.
Like you have gotten them all right.
That's probably way more rare than somebody's missed, too.
OK.
I think.
I think I'm on.
I don't think you're an idiot, Rachel.
I think you're just fine.
Yeah, Rachel has high standards.
What was the word? Was it like a tough word? We had different words
today, which was interesting.
So mine was gecko.
We have an inside joke about gecko, so I was excited
for Rachel to get it. And then what was
yours? Mine was butch. Butch.
And she said it like this. Mine was butch. Mine was butch. The most d And she said it like this, mine was butch.
The most dainty, girly way possible.
Which it's kind of-
I'll tell you what, mine was butch.
It's the opposite of like Dwight,
like the irony of Dwight spelling Phil, you're wrong,
in front of the whole class.
It's like, if you're gonna get a word wrong,
you'd want it to be like, you know.
Yeah, something that you have.
Butch, you're like, I've never even heard that word.
I don't even know what that means. Sorry. don't i can't get words i don't know
exactly i didn't play softball as a kid i wore a bow in my hair for volleyball sorry yeah
i don't play softball as a kid
so yeah yeah you miss butch but it's not the worst word to miss so um let's see what else
i did this weekend i went my saturday and sunday uh i did stuff but they were very different
saturday i finally did my taxes in a starbucks in delaware how fun which uh delaware is like
the big tax state that's what trey was giving me a hard time he's like do you know that just
doing them in delaware doesn't give you any tax benefits? I was like, oh, dang it.
I was going to go to the Cayman Islands next year to get my taxes.
I know that's how it worked.
What if?
Oh, shoot.
You see all these people like vacationing in April.
Like, I know why you're here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have the tax, tax tourists.
Right.
That's what they call us.
But yeah, I finally got around to that you know may may 8th
may 7th and um it's just gonna be okay like doing it late i don't know i was kind of waiting for a
prompt like you're aware it's after yeah there's a five percent commission fee yeah you know there
were a couple prompts that were like and you agree to pay this by april 18?" And I go, yeah. Sure, yeah. Oh, 2022. Oh, we're past that.
Shoot. I didn't say a year.
Let me know. I was like, if TurboTax doesn't know we're past April 18th, what am I going to do?
Email them? Like you had a prompt wrong? You know, I just said yes. I know I absolutely will pay you
back. So yeah, paid it, but it sucked. I was like, yeah, texting Rachel and I was like, hey, you know.
I mean, there's only three fruits. I was trying to get four in there, but. it but it sucked i was like yeah i texted rachel and i was like hey um you know uh yeah i mean
there's only three fruits i was trying to get four in there but i can only afford three um
yeah you're cool with you know peanut butter sandwiches right that'd be like a cute date
come on like simple just like just like with no lights on in the whole house candle lit
that's romantic. No AC.
Who needs AC?
You like it warm.
Rachel actually, yeah.
She was saying she didn't turn on her AC in her car today.
Is that psychotic?
The heat index is 97 today.
Yeah, like my thermometer on the outside of our house.
You didn't have AC in your car?
Sun just beating down on you?
That's what I said.
And your car's black.
Easy, Black Bob. Yeah, there I said. And your car's black. Easy black Bob.
Yeah, there's black Bob
and there's black Mustang.
Your car's black.
Does it have black interior?
Yeah.
You freak.
Just kidding.
That's crazy though.
That's,
I mean,
yeah.
Cars get hot.
Cars get hot.
Did you look that up?
Hey guys,
FYI. I Googled it. It's saying cars get hot. Cars get hot. Did you look that up? Hey guys, FYI.
I Googled it.
It's saying cars get hot.
Okay.
Anyway.
No,
but yeah.
So Rachel's good with no AC.
She would be fine with candlelight.
No AC.
She's not picky with her food.
So you can,
it's great.
Peanut butter sandwiches are just fine.
But yeah,
taxes.
It was just pretty brutal.
Like I'm still like an independent contractor of Trey.
So I don't pay any taxes year round. You are loaded for loaded for most of the year that all of a sudden you're like,
Oh, 364 days. It's pretty nice. And then, yeah, when you find yourself in Delaware.
So it was brutal. And so I'm trying to do all these like little things, like encourage myself.
I'm like checking the Zestimate on my home. Like, okay, that's going on. That's going on.
I told you the Zestimate is usually like low balling you.
Yeah. That's so realistic. Yeah. So it's like, good, good, good.
And then I'm trying to remind myself like,
Jake, you bought Bitcoin in like 2016.
Yeah. Good.
Good.
That's, you have that.
Sure.
All these different stuff.
Gas prices are going up.
Who cares?
Don't need it.
Yeah.
And then two things happened within 24 hours.
One happened right away.
I'm like, nope, not gonna let this bother me.
Got me a nice ice drink, meant to text you about it, forgot.
Been loving ice drinks. Right? Three out of the last four days about ice drinks they're so
good dude i've been missing out right i've been missing out i told you episode one i told you
they're good i get so excited like scott knows like even in high school like scott be like dude
ben rector's pretty good i'm like yeah i know i've been telling you that for like two years. Anyway.
But it's a nasty day in Delaware.
It's been raining all day.
I even talked about it when I got up on stage and I was like, love Delaware today.
I mean, just 12 straight hours of rain and everyone laughed.
I got tagged in a lot of stories that night.
We're like, sorry, I didn't do this awful day in Delaware.
So it was pretty crappy.
But I'm walking and something happened to me.
Actually, let's see if you can guess it.
Something happened to me.
Here's the context. Line.
Dunkin' Donuts.
So yeah, that's the context of the day.
That's what's happening.
It's something happened to me while walking back to the theater that I've only seen happen
in movies.
What do you mean walking back to the theater?
Like I'm walking from Starbucks where I did my taxes, walking back to the theater where
I'm going to do. Pre-show. Yeah. Okay. Where I'm
going to do the show later tonight. And then what did you say? Something
happened. Something happened to me
that's only ever happened
in movies.
Oh, wow. That's a fun thing.
What's your guess? Scott, what's your guess?
Somebody was driving and hit a puddle and
splashed. Yes. No way. Yes.
So I just paid. Say it again. Scott got it right. Someone was driving next to a puddle. Yes. He got it. Yes. So I just paid.
Say it again.
Scott got it right.
Someone was driving next to a puddle.
I'm standing on the sidewalk.
I just get doused with puddle water after I just paid.
I mean,
four times more for taxes than ever in my life combined.
I'm just like,
Oh,
okay.
Okay.
Delaware.
Okay.
Yeah.
I see why everyone's headquartered here,
but no one actually works here yeah
um i couldn't believe just back to back like head to toe it wasn't like brutal it wasn't like i'm
soaked or anything um i wasn't gonna like wear those clothes to perform in any way but i was
like definitely excited to change out of those sure yeah and so i'm just like oh okay back to
back you know but it's fine it's all fine and then the very next day, so 24 hours later, uh,
I see a headline come across, um, not even my phone.
I see it come across Times Square. Um,
cause that's how big of a headline it is. It says crypto crash.
Like we've never seen.
Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. More like butch coin.
Oh boy. Hey, you know know that's okay buy the dip
yeah um it really was fine it was more just like oh that's funny how these things happen i'm not
actually like upset necessarily it's like it's not like your majority of your money is in bitcoin
or anything no it was just like yeah it was fine but yeah that's uh that was my weekend you're
like walking yeah raindrops keep falling on my head is playing. And you're like, oh, it really was raining.
It's like an umbrella would be nice, but I can kind of like run and then like run to
an awning and then like run to an awning.
And I was going awning to awning.
And then I missed time to sidewalk.
Honestly, they didn't have their blinker on.
I didn't know they were turning right.
So it's like time to scoot.
And they turn.
I was like, oh, I guess return to Delaware.
No blinker.
And then water in my lap.
That stinks, dude. But now that's one of those times where
i wish i were traveling with somebody else yeah they would have been like oh because you can laugh
together for like four or five times before it's like okay it's not funny anymore okay
stop laughing at my puddle all right whatever puddle city is wilmington delaware oh man so
it was fine uh i have another story for you oh Go ahead. Scott, have you ever heard of a baby?
This is another birth control thing.
Parenting birth control.
Got it.
Have you ever heard of a baby mechanism called the windy?
I have not heard of the windy.
Oh, man, dude.
Okay.
Have you heard of the nose Frida?
Nose Frida?
Okay.
The nose Frida you would actually love.
Is Frida like the woman?
Rachel, have you heard of it?
No.
Oh, Lucy's going to love it.
It's like, it's kind of like. It's like spanking. It hurts you more of it oh lucy's gonna love it it's it's like it's it's kind of like
it's like spanking it hurts you more than it hurts them it doesn't hurt it just it would just
they hate it okay so the nose frida is awesome go ahead tell me what it is now nose frida is this
it's like this little thing basically it's like the answer to like kids can't blow their nose oh
oh i've seen that yeah no it's not that it's not it's not the squeezer it's not the patch
out it is this it's like it's like that. It's not, it's not the squeezer. It's not the Patch Adams thing.
It is this, it's like, it's like this straw basically
that you connect to your mouth and then like,
but, but there's like a, there's like a block in there.
And so it blocks.
Are you siphoning out snot?
A hundred percent.
It's, it's, it's a snot siphoner.
Yeah, no, genuinely.
Like, so you-
So it's not like a blocker?
No, there is a blocker.
Oh, okay. So it can't go into your mouth.
Of course not.
Oh, I thought it was just straight straw. But you're, you are worried every time. Like just a little
bit. Like were you ever worried? It's got the first time you did it. Like, I don't think this
is going to happen, but yeah. If it's not, how do you, how do you like get air out without it being
a fully blocked thing? It's like a strainer. Yeah. Oh, look at how happy the kid is. Got
showing him right now. Um, that kid's exuberant about the snot suck.
Yeah, you're shoving it up there.
Like you shove it.
And then there's like,
like they hate it.
They absolutely hate this thing.
How important is blowing your nose?
I feel like I'll go all winter
without blowing my nose that much.
Well, when they have a cold
and they can't breathe out of their nose.
Imagine having a stuffy nose
and never being able to get anything out.
Ah, hot shower.
Get out of here.
Yeah, we used to throw the baby in the shower shower get out of here yeah we just throw the baby
in the shower for a few hours uh anyway nose frida the only reason i asked about that is because i
think that this windy product look up windy next uh w-i-n-d-y i believe it's from the same company
um i would like actually for scott to read the directions honestly on it but um but basically
uh rose was
constipated for like three days three days in a row oh no and like and like you go from the top
floor to the basement when a baby's struggling like it's just like you could just tell like
there's like like the whole time they're just like aching and just like you watch it it's like
i feel so bad for you and so this thing literally so that i think the directions on it can you find
the directions i think it says something like insert it like you would insert a rectal rectal
thermometer i know yeah say no more i know how to do that we've all done that because we're from
1945 yeah how do you think i tested for covid yeah step one massage belly gently downward towards
rectum we do we do to massage yeah we did massage. Lubricate Wendy tip. We suggest
coconut oil, but any lubricant works.
We use coconut oil. We suggest this, but
anything will work.
Easy to do. Use the stuff
from that snot straw earlier.
That should lubricate it. Lift legs and have a
diaper ready. Trust us. It could get
messy.
Wendy.
Gently insert Wendy and listen for the gas
to pass. It will sound like a whistle
within a few seconds.
So you're not
Step five, discard Wendy.
Oh, so there's no poop. You're just getting
gas out? Brother, there's poop.
Oh,
is there poop?
Oh,
oh.
Okay, the directions over here are talking about a whistle
and you're acting like Iwo Jima.
Step six is discard.
Discard is a nice way of saying there's stuff in there.
All right, get it out.
So you stick it in there
and where you would put a rectal...
You're having trouble.
Rectal thermometer.
No, I know.
And the rectal thermometer area i will say uh and genuinely like
after like three four seconds all of a sudden it's like you remember those vortex footballs
that's what this was like it was like like and like we were using it we're like i don't think
it's working i don't think it's working all of a't think it's working. All of a sudden it's like, and then dude, like it didn't work.
And we're like, well, this is a load of crap.
Like so much for target pickup.
Next thing you know, you've got a load of crap.
Catherine goes, I'm gonna try again.
And then didn't work.
I'm gonna try again.
And she's like, this will be the last time.
Third time, didn't work.
It's like the shrimp, fourth try.
Yeah.
She tried five times.
I felt so bad for Rosie.
I was like, I'm so sorry.
Just like another, when you say try again, it's like another insertion basically.
Boom.
Was she like, maybe I don't know.
She was trying the ATM one more time.
Yeah.
No, this car, there's money on this car.
I know it.
Can you run it again?
Maybe the pin is this.
I might run it as credit.
Run it as credit.
So bro, like, and Catherine, like,
I don't know. She has this motherly instinct about her.
Like, she could tell. She's like, oh,
oh, you're getting there.
You're getting there.
Oh!
Oh!
And dude, it was like,
it was freaking Iwo Jima times
50, dude. It was like, you know,
like at McDonald's, they have like the ketchup things.
And like every once in a while, they just don't stop going.
It was like that, dude.
All of a sudden, it was like, oh, there's something coming.
That's three days worth.
Yeah.
It was wild.
Hold on.
Another analogy for you.
The Andy's ice cream machine.
You seen that?
You know what I'm talking about?
That's very fair.
That's very fair. That's very fair.
You're like, wow, it just keeps coming, huh?
But the Andy's ice cream goes like this,
real slow down the conveyor belt.
And you saw kind of a faster...
Imagine like a F1 version of Andy's ice cream.
I mean, it's whistling, so...
I mean, it just like, boom, right there, dude.
It was just right there.
What did you have prepared to catch it?
Catherine had it at a diaper right there.
Okay. It was like right when that happened. And have prepared to catch it? Catherine had a diaper right there. Okay.
It was like right when that happened.
And I'm not like that grossed out by things.
Like this is my third time being a dad.
I sprang up.
I've never, never jumped that quickly.
And I ran to the door of our room.
I was like, oh no, no, no, that is gross.
And then I think I left the room and Catherine's like,
she did it three more times after that.
Huh?
So if anybody's out there and their baby is having trouble with their gas,
the windy works guys.
That's all I have to say.
Dude.
I mean,
could our weekends have been any different?
I mean, I'm just trying to find the basement McDonald's.
Seriously, dude, it was wild. Uh, so yeah, there was that.
That's beautiful. I was performing at a place called the egg and you were finding out what
happens when you fertilize it. Oh man. So yeah, that was, that was that. Wow. So yeah,
check it out. Wendy. All right, windy.
Okay, I'm trying to think what else I did this weekend.
We had a day off on Saturday.
Which is rare on tour. Yeah, we've never done this before.
I think they're like, you know, enjoy the city.
It's 42 and rainy.
Fun.
Go nuts.
That's New York in May though.
Just like on Friends.
Yeah, it won't be humid indoors.
Did you see ross and rachel
so i did not want to like figure out like an ubering into the city because our hotel was in
like um the meadowlands we were right next to the stadium where the jets and giants play um
but also mingle it's okay mingle nick mingle they said big bingle big bingle um one of the other
things four minutes away is a place called American Dream.
You ever heard of this?
I have not.
Why picket fences everywhere.
Yeah.
Just a stay-at-home mom.
Traditional gender roles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, just mad men all over the place.
Yeah.
It is the, I learned that is the second biggest mall in America.
It has the North America's largest indoor water park inside of it.
It has a ski slash snowboard slope inside of it.
It has a roller coasters inside of it.
It is amazing.
So this is all right next is like, I know what I'm doing on my day off.
So going there and it was really fun for one.
Just I am.
I'm so just quite honestly not used to seeing diversity.
This is the most diverse place I have ever seen.
I mean, every race, every shade of color. it was awesome. Just got to experience that for like
four hours. But dude, we get there, we get dropped off and we're going up an escalator.
And I wish you could have filmed my face in this moment, because as I'm going up the escalator,
music is getting louder. It's like, it's getting louder and louder. And as we start to see things,
we see little Asian kids running around us, just like running around. And the music is getting louder and louder and louder.
We have taken an escalator in the middle of like a Malaysian fashion show for children. I don't
know why the escalator is there. I don't know why they put us there, but we were just in the song.
Do you remember like in 2017 or so I used to do an Instagram story almost every day to the same Tiesto song. It was, this is going to be really random, but I feel like you remember like in 2017 or so, I used to do an Instagram story almost every day to the same Tiesto song.
It was, this is gonna be really random,
but I feel like you remember really weird things about me.
Well, I remember Chainsmokers.
No, it was before I did that little like trend.
Anyway, it was that song.
So it's like, wow, this is, I used to love this song.
What song, how does it go?
I don't know, it's an EDM.
I'm not gonna sing along to an EDM song.
Come on.
It would be like, boom, zim, boom, boom, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah that one uh no but anyway that
was special yeah and all day long they were just like um like an international like kids the pageant
show posted this on your instagram story yeah yeah i was like i gotta hear about this yeah so
basically just imagine like uh harry houdini like a stage is bringing you up into the middle of it
so like you were the trap door i was yeah i was a part of the show i think were you like enclosed like could you could you get
out we had to go like underneath the thing there was a security officer at the top of the escalator
and i was like i feel like this should maybe be closed off i don't know how we got here how many
people were like actually viewing the uh fashion show uh quite a bit more photographers like you
would have fit in well with them a lot of people photographing children like some zoom lenses good
yeah like really i thought i heard the camera making noise. Um, it was worried about it, but Scott,
please don't make noise, please. Uh, but that was really fun. And, uh, yeah. Did you do any of the,
uh, extravagant, uh, did you, did you bring your trunks or your board? It was really,
really expensive. Oh, they had a, uh, a wave pool in there you could surf but you
couldn't um there were no like slots available you had to like reserve a spot to like surf you
can just go and show up did you see anybody like i'm more fixated on the idea of like a snowboarding
slope did you see anybody like bring in their like burton snowboard in there or something
um like that was not open till like may 20th so you couldn't do that but once we got away from it
i mean it's just like a circular mall with like a huge arm coming out of it.
It's like,
that must be like the ski slope,
but just like going upwards to the sky.
It's like,
that must be where the skiing is.
So is it brand new or is it like a seasonal thing?
That's not open till May 20th.
A seasonal thing.
Okay.
Um,
cause I was going to say if,
if it's brand new and it's the second largest mall in America,
I would be like,
what are we doing?
Like,
why are we developing the second largest?
Like we got to make it the biggest.
If we're that close,
I got a few more square at a Burlington Coat Factory on the
end of this thing you know what I mean
like off-road you know
you were just one Burlington Coat
Factory short all you needed was like four
more Cinnabons brother and you would have been there
you were so close you know you would have
made it so close we
played putt-putt and we kept saying like
hole-in-one to, they didn't have Annie
Ann's there because I was really excited to get Annie Ann's, but they had Wetzel's pretzels.
Oh yeah.
Which I never heard of.
The Northeastern Annie Ann's.
Yeah.
It was really fun.
You never heard of it?
No, I never heard of Wetzel's.
Yeah.
But that was fun.
And then, yeah, later that night, which I think I kind of texted you this, you're like,
dude, how's your day?
And I was like, I went to this huge mall and I've ordered alcohol wrong twice.
The first time, yeah, Trey like still wanted it because trey and katie went to the
city it was like me and alan who went to the mall sure and um i love i love the idea of you and alan
yeah i feel like you guys have really become buddies it was me on and then the girl who
sells our merch uh just doing black light putt putt together it was kind of weird
yeah i haven't thought about that since like eighth grade yeah
wow it was all right that's the most mall thing i've ever heard yeah right yeah uh but so that
night we go out to like this fancy dinner and i haven't you know had much to eat i had like
you know wu pao chang for lunch so i'm starving from wetzel's pretzels from wetzel's pretzels
yeah that's how i like the bread and i'm starving we get to this first place and it's like really fancy it's really nice and uh waiter
comes over and he kind of takes some order and then he keeps coming back and he's like all right
you guys all set and trey's like yeah we're all set i'm like when are we gonna order like i'm so
hungry turns out we were just getting drinks there going to a separate place for dinner but they
didn't stop me in the meantime from trying to order a drink so he comes over that's like the michael scott like you guys have any chicken wings
or chicken fingers at the club you know like oh yeah yeah we don't serve food here okay guys have
a cup of maricino cherries yeah that was me but the waiter comes over he's like all right and uh
what are you drinking and i have the menu on my phone and i'm just looking through all these
things that barely make sense to me and he's like do you know what you want i was like i don't know i was like like
i'm in the tequila section like i don't know i typically like things that are like kind of sweeter
or whatever and he's like okay um it was like holly talking to kevin right like that's oh that's
a button you're a cute little guy he's like oh so you're just in the that's just that is just
straight tequila yeah um you're just looking at just you're gonna want the, that's just, that is just straight tequila. Yeah. Um, you're just looking at just, you're going to want a cocktail, but you know, whatever. I was like, Oh, okay. Okay.
And everyone could hear me and make it fun to me. And it's like, I don't know. I drink this like
once every two months. Right. So then I'm like, Oh, just take a margarita. And everyone made fun
of that. Then we get to kind of a funny thing. Cause it sounds like it's like kind of a swanky
place. Yeah. And I'm like the only word I know. I'll take the thing that I get at Applebee's margarita.
And then we go to the restaurant where we're actually eating and they're like,
Hey,
um,
they've compliment us some wine.
So we're gonna pick out some wine.
You want like,
Oh,
here we go again.
Oh,
I am just,
I've been Jones in for a wine all day.
The only thing I like more than drinking wine is ordering it.
I love,
love.
Hey,
nothing like a good old fashioned glass of wine.
And so I pick out a wine that I like and Katie, not trying to make fun of me, but just being
genuine, goes, oh, that's my mom's favorite kind.
And then Trey's like, my grandma loves that stuff.
And I was like, it was just like really sweet.
Moscato?
Riesling?
Riesling?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so then everyone is trashing me because they realized they're like,
Oh,
all the old women love the wine you like.
And I was like,
I would have,
I would have fought for you.
I would have been like,
okay,
shut up.
He's like,
he doesn't know what he's talking about.
It's fine.
It's wine.
You dorks.
When we make shelter kid videos,
he's the guy who plays the role.
Okay.
He doesn't doing a bit.
This is a bit. He's performing off Broadway in two nights. He clearly, I'm trying guy who plays the role. Okay. He's doing a bit. This is a bit.
He's performing off Broadway in two nights.
He clearly, I'm trying to think of even like the punchline of this joke.
Like he clearly really wants fill in the blank wine, but I don't know other wines.
Yeah.
It's like he probably wouldn't want a peanut.
Yeah.
Right.
He's not a peanut guy.
Like, okay.
Peanut de noire.
He's allergic.
Yeah.
He's got a nut allergy, so he's not going to get the peanut.
That's pretty funny. I'm oh so yeah i wish you would have just like the butt of the joke all night did you ever think about just owning me like can i have a pink lemonade please
oh that's what i do i mean 95 percent of the time and i don't feel bad about it but it was like it's
kind of people's treat and it's where new york city i feel like you know one time yeah do whatever
else is doing the riesling right sex in the city they do that all the time i want to be just like
carrie bradshaw you know so totally yeah i get it yeah once again i'll watch that back in the day
yeah totally get that reference it's a show i watched so yeah just another example of us having
similar weekends brad uh on saturday did you also attend a two-year-old's birthday party? Because I did.
No. Was it your kid or
you just popping it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hashtag ball with Bo was the name
of the party. Oh, that's right. I got
invited to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catherine's like,
the theme is like ball.
So what's the tagline for that?
And I was like, ball with Bo, of course.
She's like, that's great. She was
so excited. Good, we have a tagline.line okay now we can really get down to it no she didn't really think it was
that big of a deal but um invited all three of these people in this room uh zero of them came so
uh rachel had mother's day in iowa scott had pickleball tournament and jake had comedy tour
with drake kennedy uh no, it was fun.
It was just one of those things where it's like, we didn't take ourselves too seriously
because it's a two-year-old's birthday party.
It was just like, let's just have our friends over and hang out.
And we did have a little inflatable pool with like the balls from like a ball pit.
Fun.
Yeah.
And the kids loved it.
We had fun.
And I think I was thinking about it.
I think last week I
said like every month we should have a garage sale just to like hone in our sales skills. I still,
still believe that. I also believe now I have a theory that every three to four months you should
have a gathering like this at your house because it forces you to like clean, like you've never
needed to clean before. Like, yeah, like it was one of those like classic, like, you like you know jokes where it's like you're cleaning every single nook and cranny of this
house and we just hung out outside the whole time like it was a perfect like you did clean
the 70 degree houses yeah oh yeah and the crannies do you do you guys split it up do you do the nooks
and katherine does the crannies or how do you split that up no we go room by room so we go
nook and cranny you know playroom all brad nook and cranny living room kath gotcha like that yeah
okay cool well but the top crannies i'll go top cranny and she'll go bottom nook and cranny living room cath gotcha like that yeah okay cool well but the top crannies
i'll go top cranny you should go bottom nook yeah she bottom nooks it yeah uh no but uh no but it's
like it was like a good like like we cleaned our house really well so i think every three to four
months you should have a event like that and maybe every like three to four weeks you should have
just people over in general because that that, but also tagline.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a recent with the, um, Richard says nooks and crannies with my friend,
nooks and crannies in my granny, you know, um, the, but, but just like something about like, just getting your house a little more in order and just like, because it doesn't take more than,
you know, an hour usually to clean your house. And then you're very happy you did it. Yeah. I
mean the nooks and crannies take a little bit longer but like sure the general
organization but it's like this looks so much better you know um so anyway that's what i felt
with the car detailing yeah exactly also tried to do that joke on stage um the people in albany got
to hear it just tried i was feeling it that night it was going well specific joke oh the tip uh
sorry yeah you guys don't know what's happening in my brain. The what kind of animal
you got. Oh, yeah. Tried to like do that whole thing. And let's see. I went to Rachel voice
about it. I think mid voice memo, I had convinced myself I went better than original. Like it wasn't
like I didn't crush it enough to be like, OK, that should stay in for the special. It was like,
all right, let's keep that behind. I think I can work on that when we start the next tour.
I'll keep that joke. And as you were talking about it more you're like okay i can rationalize like yeah
it's like actually i don't think it was that bad yeah um but it was just like a joke i'm doing for
the first time ever so what a rush though every time it is kind of a rush yeah it's like this
could either go great i mean i truly do not know yeah you know you have no clue if this like if a
thousand people are gonna laugh or think it's funny or not it's like all right i'm kind of i'm
you know i've got about 90 more seconds of this so i hope they like the first part i love it
yeah it's kind of scary but fun um should we listen to voice memos we haven't done that in a
couple weeks holy cow scott and rachel won't really be able to hear but we can so we'll decide
what happens based on your reaction okay yeah try to figure out guess what they said you ready brad
hey jake and brad this is cory from
pa i wanted to pile on the google maps grievances here uh one of my biggest pet peeves is when you're
like 100 feet away from the destination and google map just like zooms out yes and it's like tells
you that you arrived even though you haven't yeah so i have to like memorize the house number so i
can make sure i see that and know which driveway it is because all the houses are so close together. And I wish Google map would just like keep the camera right behind my cars.
I know where I'm at. So anyway, that's annoying. That's a good question for you guys. Who is
keeping long John Silvers in business? I saw one the other day and kind of forgot that they were a
thing. So I'm just curious what you guys think on that? I think that's what's up. Wait.
Hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
There's so many things happening right now.
Wait, did you actually hear?
Or do you think they actually heard?
No, they probably heard us be like.
No, I think Scott actually did hear.
I heard one question.
Who's keeping long guns?
Oh, he did hear.
Yeah, and he was actually answering.
I said Samantha Fex.
Really?
Oh, yeah. Really? He loves long said Samantha Beck. Really? Oh, yeah.
Really?
He loves long gun silvers.
Really?
Yes.
Okay.
Hold on.
Brad, did you hear the last part?
This is funny.
I don't know.
I saw one the other day and kind of forgot that they were a thing.
So I'm just curious what you guys think on that.
All right.
That's what's up.
I like that.
I want more people.
All right.
That's what's up.
All right.
So that was up. All right. So that's what's up all right so that was up
all right so that's what's up um cory fisher i met him on a beach in maui
good to hear from you cory wow cory fisher wow wow yeah good friends with tj um tj called me
yesterday it was really fun he called me to say he was like dude i'm back home i'm in pennsylvania
i almost came and surprised you i'm calling to say i i the tickets were in my cart and they realized I didn't, I couldn't pull it off. It would have been like a
seven hour round trip. I was like, really? Cause I, on the podcast, I was like, somebody just go
to New York city, like make it happen. I really wanted to have a success story there, but Oh,
that would've been awesome. Yeah. Would've been cool. It's still good to hear from him.
He's a great guy. It was fun to be on. Walk in love podcasts.
Yeah. Check him out. It was fun. We just chatted had like 10-15 minutes and he was it was
funny he was explaining to his daughter june i think she's seven what he was about to do that
night and she's like you know he's like you remember jake meeting him i'm gonna go see him
and she's like what's he gonna do and tj's like he's a comedian and he realized she didn't know
what the word comedian was and so we got to explain it to her and it was funny hearing his perspective
of it he's like it's super fun getting to like tell your kids something for the first time because they can't hide their expression
and he's like i told her i was like he just stands up there on the stage and tries to make people
laugh and she's tj's like her head exploded she thought that was the coolest job i was like that's
i'm gonna remember that for a long time yeah that is the coolest job i just stand up there and try
to make people laugh her vision of it is probably so much like she probably thinks you're a clown basically like like you're up there
just like you know yourself in the head yeah whatever he's up there telling jokes he's doing
a weird dance move or something uh that's funny yeah that's awesome um anyway to the voice memo
good good google map scripe and yeah i don't know if i've ever noticed that that's interesting i'll
now notice it thanks
a lot yeah once they think you're there they're like all right we're done it's like no i'm still
in the car my car is moving i was trying to find the house he nailed it exactly yeah um and then
long john silves who's keeping him in business uh the anw fans are keeping him in business i think
everyone's everyone's giving long john silvers the credit but yeah it's the root beer floats you go
to the root beer and like i could use use a hush pup. Yeah, exactly.
Is that what you were thinking?
No, I was thinking like Long John Silver's,
they have Long John Silver's and A&W in the same thing.
Yeah.
So I'm just saying like,
they're owned by the same people.
No one's really buying the LJS.
They're going for the root beer floats.
They're going for the RBS.
I think there might be.
They get IBS along the way.
Use a Wendy.
Hello.
Yeah.
Not recommended on adults.
Trust me. Yeah. Talk about cleaning the nooks and crannies
um yeah wiping those baseboards
i don't know who's keeping a business apparently scott's wife scott's wife i think there's a lot
more pirates than we think exist like i think just like modern pirates are going there and like captain phillips really opened my eyes to that yeah and captain solely
honestly tom hanks just anything hanks is doing yeah um so i think i don't know they've got to
be going attending checking it out maybe so uh they're like true story there's a long john silvers
like on shiny mission parkway kind of near like on my way home and katherine jokes about how like every single time there's like five cars in the drive-thru
really and i always i always like like attribute that to the fact that it's probably really slow
drive-thru like i don't think like it's really that consistent of a thing but maybe people are
really going there a lot so we went there back in the day i was i don't remember their chicken
being bad i don't want fast food fish that's all i ever got was the chicken yeah yeah good for samantha what
how when who um like growing up did you have such a lower uh standard of food i don't know
no you don't even have a low high standard of food but like like back in the day like i used
to love applebee's like we went to applebee's all
the time oh yeah you've been bringing this up yeah you gotta go to chili's no chili's is still good
i've always thought but like okay but applebee's i thought was good back in the day i went like
and it was terrible and i'm like what's what's is it me or is it them what's what's up i'll just get
a margarita you know whatever um but like genuinely i was like
like the same with long john silvers like has it gone down in quality or have i just
had a little bit higher like i'm going to mclean's now so yeah i could go to mclean's market i'm a
mclean's guy now mclean's man yeah we have a honda odyssey okay so we're doing all right
i mean i have a yacht so i think i've done pretty well um let's do one more just i
recognize this guy's name i know he was at the albany show let's um hear from him and then we'll
in this sucker hey jake and brad it's ping pong nick my wife chris and i loved being able to hang
out with you jake after your show in albany brad we of course uh course missed you as well, but we'll have to wait patiently until you're
able to go on tour with Jake and Trey. But as we drove home from the show, we saw a bunch of
food truck vendors leaving Tulip Fest. And my question to you guys is, what is your go-to food vendor when you go to
a fair? I love the podcast. Thanks for keeping me occupied on my long drives across New York
State for work. And Jake, I look forward to playing ping pong with you next time you're in Albany.
That's what's up. That's Nick.
That's what's up.
That's what's up.
Did you play ping pong with him?
No.
When I met him after the show, he said, he's like, dude, I DM'd you to play ping pong.
I was like, oh, sorry.
I didn't see it.
I guess he had invited me over that day.
He's like, if you're not doing anything in Albany today, you can come over and play ping
pong.
I was like, I mean, next time.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
Next time you're in Albany.
I'll smoke you.
Yeah. That'll be fun. But yeah yeah it was great meeting him there were a
lot of go-sees at the albany show it's really fun to meet them um one of the couples drove two and
a half hours five hours round trip to come to the show that's pretty cool yeah that's what's up
that's what's up um i feel like you've been you've performed in enough places that are two and a half
hours away from albany they probably could have found a close place. We're like running out of geography.
Yeah.
I feel like we probably, yeah.
Huh.
Okay.
So he asked what?
What did he say?
Sorry.
Like vendors.
Like a fair or like a food truck.
I don't know.
You have an answer for that?
I don't know.
I was thinking about the fair recently because I had my first fried Oreo ever at the mall
on Saturday.
What'd you think?
Not bad.
So Ashley came back with
two things. She came up with a, like a corn dog looking thing that was fried cookie dough.
That was not that good. And nobody loves cookie dough more than me. So it was like a corn dog
shaped though. It was, it was a corn dog, but it had cookie dough on the inside fried cookie dough.
That was not good. Fried Oreo was pretty good. Okay. See, like I've never, I mean, contrary to
like, I'm a big guy and I like lots of food, but
I like eat like the idea of like frying things that aren't supposed to be fried is kind of
gross to me.
That's why I've never had it.
Yeah.
I did.
I didn't even order it.
Ashley brought it.
I've never been to the Texas state fair.
Ashley brought it.
We're just friends.
I, she, she made us cosmic golf together as friends.
Okay.
No, but like, yeah, I've never been to the tape did you ever go to texas
state fair when you were there yes you live there was it awesome i feel like it's like
the fair like the state fair best state fair but it was the fair it was like literally like we're
going to the fair when we said yeah it ended up being the fair people knew we were talking about
when i said we're going to the fair um i don't know walking tacos are good no uh well there's
a there's like a fair in Olathe
called Old Settlers
every single year
and they have
something called
Grange Pups
and they're like
just like
their own like
proprietary
Grange Pups
oh man
Grange Pups are good
glad I live in Olathe
what?
I don't even know
what you're talking about
seriously
seriously
oh I think they're like
iconic
but maybe
not to the right
maybe Mormons
that has caffeine in it.
It might be kind of a horchata kind of thing.
No, it's essentially just a really good corn dog.
It's just like their own proprietary, like breading around a hot dog.
Do they have turkey grain pups?
I don't know.
Okay.
Let's hope not.
Let's hope that.
What are they called again?
Grange pups.
Grange.
Yeah.
Like home on the Grange.
Yeah.
Why would it not be home on the range i know is it
there's a pun what's grange i don't know oh okay i'm not from here i don't have google on my
computer think bad range wait why ain't pups golly sorry are you from olathe did you go to a racist
sounding elementary school the delicious street food on a stick
sold every September at Old Settlers Days
in the Lake of the Handlers.
Okay, but find out what Grange specifically, right?
Scott's like, it says it's humid during the fair.
So like apparently in like warmer weather,
it's more humid.
And the Grange, the Grange will be hotter.
Yeah.
No Grange yet.
Okay, so Grange Pups was that's your answer yeah mine would be um at the
ozark empire fair there was this vendor every year that sold their own root beer and something
about it it was just magical so everyone know to get like and get like a jug of their root beer
what do you mean jug jug no like genuinely what do you mean jug like does it have like one of those
little handles yep it's got enough to have a handle, yeah. It's like, how am I holding this thing?
Yeah, like you maybe get two fingers in your jug.
Yeah, it was really good.
That's great.
The Springfield people know what I'm talking about.
See, like root beer A&W, that's how people like-
That's how long, John.
A&W brings it, like if they give you a frosty mug there,
that sounds nice.
That sounds nice.
A&W on the way home?
It's deep fried like a corn dog, but there's no corn.
We're looking for the definition of grained. Just the word grained. How hard is it? that sounds nice a w on the way home it's deep fried like a corn dog but it's there's no we're
looking for the definition of grain just the word grain how hard is it i know don't look it up don't
look it up brad don't look it up delayed gratification make scott tell you dude okay
let me follow up on the delayed gratification thing katherine goes i listen to the podcast
and i want to explain myself a little bit more um the example of like a phone book or a dictionary
like that totally makes sense like because it's not's not on your phone. And I was like, I was like, Oh, so like, just because it's on my phone,
I can't, I can't access it. Like, she's like, like, if you would have had a phone book around
and you wanted to look up like community covenant church, that's totally fine. You just can't do it
on your phone. I was like, why? Like, you're sounding like a grandma. Like, I just don't
trust those, those things. She was like,
they do too many other things besides just look up.
You know that.
That is kind of boomer.
You're like,
okay,
shrimp face.
She's like,
what did I say?
What did I say?
Yeah.
You still got some hang on your face too.
No,
I just,
I was like,
why,
why does it make a difference that it could do a million different things?
But she's like,
we're just too reliant on the phones.
So.
A country house with farm buildings attached. There it is. Did you just search Grange? that it could do a million different things, but she's like, we're just too reliant on the phones. So.
A country house with farm buildings attached.
There it is.
Did you just search Grange?
Just Grange.
We'll teach them.
That takes a while. We'll get there.
Yeah. A country house.
Okay.
Okay. Country house. Grange pups.
Grange pups.
Very good.
Country house dogs.
Country house.
Whew. Thanks for the voice memos.
Thanks for the voice memos.
Brad, do you want to tell people
about your review of the week? I do. Uh, mine is from I roll is Lori backwards. Uh, and it says,
Brad does make this podcast rad and it's a five-star review. I have only been a ghosty for
a short time. Not sure if I'm still in the pledge state still, or when the official initiation is,
but this podcast is truly what's up as an avid commuter, telecommuter maybe,
for both work and school daily,
I feel like I've earned a PhD in knowing,
wait, PhD, FID?
How do you pronounce it?
PhD?
Yeah, I think it's, PH makes the F sound.
Okay.
Just make sure it's not like postpartum.
I know you don't do great with acronyms and reviews.
It's some sort of depression, I think.
I feel like I've earned a PhD.
Post hierarchy.
It's like, man, I used to be a king and I am just slipping.
I heard you, but I'm trying to...
Is it there a word?
Post hum...
Post hum...
Post humus.
Yeah, thank you.
That's one word.
Post...
What did you say?
Post humus when you die. Post humus? Okay, yeah. Yeah, so that's a word post who what did you say when you die humus okay yeah
yeah so that's the thing post-humus depression okay but post-humus is one word post go on i
feel like i've earned a post-humus depression and knowing what material to be good in a podcast
and what needs to be left in the work in progress ben seeing the dynamic between jake and trey is
great but jake and brad is iconic and that's what's up. Thank you for creating a safe place for this single mom to hear uplifting
hamburger poop stories.
Just wait for Wendy and love for friends and family simultaneously.
Thank you,
Lori.
That was very kind of you.
Lori,
we are iconic,
Jacob.
That's,
that's cool.
That's what's up.
Um,
okay.
Mine is,
this one's mainly for you, Brad,
but I'll prop you up here.
This is from BPW1518.
Hey guys,
been a fan of both of you
for only a short time now
on episode 30 of
Starting From The Beginning,
but also making sure I keep up
with the current episodes.
I just wanted to say
I'm a few short months away
from becoming a midwife
and Brad and Catherine's birth story
was one of the best stories
I've ever heard.
It sure hit the soft spot in my heart
hearing Brad while beaming ear to ear.
It's a huge smile.
A huge.
Explaining how he delivered Miss Rose.
I cry like a little baby
when reflecting on my own life.
Holy cow.
Two babies at the same time.
One's crying.
One's in a puddle.
Being in a birth is the most amazing
and rewarding experience.
I truly appreciated his excitement.
I look forward to many more births
I'm a part of.
And of course,
listening to many more episodes
from both of you. Much love, Shannon. Thank you, Shannon.
That one was from Shannon. Brad, would you like to end this episode with a voice memo?
No, you didn't. That was not on purpose. Would you like to end this episode with a jingle?
What's wrong with me? Yes, please. Let's do it. My goodness. Okay.
Scott, you want to get on with this get it going with this it's not edm it's not for scott how much is in portuguese
is it playing can you hear it is it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
recorded our first podcast just two guys and a couple of mics. Recorded for 59 minutes, beginnings of the Ghostrunner life.
Jake and his best friend started a pod and they tried real hard.
Selling dogs, armpits sweating, little did we know we'd get real far. That's good.
The bug eyes.
About a quarter of the pond. The bug eyes. That's horrible, too.
Better listen to the ghost runners
when you've got mindless work to do.
Spend my days down at the pickles.
And that's when I met Ola.
Left hand on Bradley's porch
I promised we would pie forever
And Hattie in the fridge
Oh yeah, I said forever
Those were the best notes of the pie
Oh yeah
Back in the spring of 2019. Here comes the bridge, I'm not very confident in the bridge so I'm just going to try it.
Just two guys, getting time, it brought us, bestest, caught in a good time.
I guess a pie will last forever Forever
Yeah!
I thought you nailed it.
And now the pot is changing
Look at everything that's come and gone
We think back to the humble beginnings
Think about you and wonder what went right
Hattie, I'm Bradley's porch
The podcast will go forever
And Hattie in the fridge
Oh, yeah back in the spring
It was the spring of 2019 It was the spring of 2019
Take it baby it was nice
It was the spring, spring, spring of 2019 I don't know if you were done, so I faded it out.
No, yeah, I was done.
You looked exhausted.
I was done.
Great work.
Good performance.
Volume just as high as ever. Great work. That's a fun song. That was a. Great work. Good performance. Volume just as high as ever.
Great work.
That's a fun song.
That was a good one.
Here's the funny thing is that I don't know who wrote this.
Somebody texted me.
We've texted back a few different times.
The first time they ever texted me, they said, hi, Brad.
And I said, hi there.
They said, how's your day?
Love the podcast, BTW.
Is this really Brad Ellis?
I didn't respond for a long time.
And then they texted me a few other times.
And then they just texted me this jingle.
I'm going to say, what's your name?
Let's see if they respond by the end of this episode.
11, 15 at night.
11, 17.
Hey, what's your name?
What's your name?
I think my number leaked or somewhere.
I've been like sharing with Rachel.
I've been getting all these texts.
Like someone yesterday was like, hey, Jakey Poo.
And I was like, what's up?
And then it was just like a selfie of a 12 year old.
Honestly,
I know exactly who did it.
Oh really?
Louis freaking Davis.
What do you mean?
I just,
I mean,
people just DM them probably.
And he's that kind of guy that just gives out your number.
People DM Lewis.
And they were like,
Hey,
need Jake's number.
I think it's just,
it's,
it's ironclad.
My theory,
everything leads back to Lewis. Oh, that's great i don't know um maybe tony tony dande esta um hey good episode
grad good jingle good job whoever wrote that this is fun um yeah another big week yeah the the
special i guess it's already happened now but um that's coming up. Just say that out loud.
The special has come out.
I'm really, really excited.
I'm nervous.
Are you?
Yeah, I'm nervous.
That's good.
It's okay.
It's fine.
You're going to be there, right, Rachel?
Yes.
Rachel and every woman in her family is going to be there.
We try that?
We try that.
I went to Topgolf this morning by myself.
Dude, nice. Yeah, it was really fun. Honestlygolf this morning by myself. Dude, nice.
Yeah, it was really fun.
Honestly, I loved it by myself.
But Scott was like, I have so much.
I have too many meetings I can't cancel.
I was like, I'll see you there, Scott.
I'll see you there.
So I bet if I book a ticket to Chicago, Scott will come with me.
Okay.
Right?
Yep.
Scott will come.
Anyway, are you more nervous about the special or the fact that every woman in Rachel's family is going to be there?
More about the special.
OK, good.
But good.
Because I've met all the other ones except for Jilly Bean.
Oh, she's coming.
Yeah.
Jilly Bean's a sister-in-law's mom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, if she doesn't approve, Rachel's going to be like, okay, but you go by Jilly Bean.
Just kidding.
I know she listens to the podcast.
We love you, Jilly.
J. Bean.
J. Bean.
Hey, we should go to the Bean.
It's in Chicago.
With Jilly Bean.
That's what I was saying.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Great.
Let's do it.
What do you have coming up, Brad?
What are you excited about?
Oh, that's a great question. I don't know what i'm doing tomorrow uh let's see
kind of oh yeah i do know what i'm doing tomorrow jean shorts um yeah what am i doing i'm going to
the beach at the end of the uh month uh which beach any i got a i got a family birthday party
coming up i think uh we're going to gulf shores Alabama. We're driving there. So I'm kind of looking forward to it, but also like we're driving there with three kids. So, um, yeah,
I don't know. I'm not, I don't have anything like crazy. That's great. Just a lot of, yeah,
just a lot of family birthday party on the beach. I have summer to look forward to. That's just
warm weather. Yeah. Sticky face. Yeah. I love it. It's great. All right. We love you guys. Cool.
Thank you guys for listening to
our podcast yes thanks for joining us in the audience scott and rachel audience that was fun
yeah that was fun we'll see you guys next week love you guys see you guys Go for a podcast.