Ghostrunners - 335 - Jake’s Grandma Was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader (feat. Jake’s dad)
Episode Date: May 29, 2024Steve Triplett joins and chats with the boys and answers all your questions! He also contributes to a shmores contest of substitute cuss words and no one will ever be the same. Check out Main Street ...Roasters and use code GRKC at check out for a 10% discount! https://mainstreetroasters.com Ghostrunners merch: https://bit.ly/399MXFu Become a Patron and get exclusive content from Jake & Brad: https://bit.ly/2XJ1h3y Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby.
What is he saying?
It sounds to me like he says,
check out the book while my DJ revolves it.
Check out the hook.
The hook.
That makes more sense.
Check out the book.
He's big on literacy.
You kids go check out the book.
He's a converted Christian.
My DJ revolves it.
Because I do like that song still.
Every time I sing it with him,
I'm singing, check out the book.
My DJ will revolve it.
Check out the good book.
I think we start with that right there.
That's great.
Uh-oh, ooh, I think this tight beat means that it's going down
with some random thoughts and white meat too.
Midwest best friends eating fast food on repeat.
So come along, let's have some fun and go ahead, get on your feet
because this is the Ghost Brothers Podcast.
Every Monday morning, we're taking round Ghost Brothers Podcast.
Ghost Brothers Podcast.
So as you heard, we have my dad on the episode today.
Yeah.
Brad's real excited.
Always, baby. And it's like last episode, a couple episodes ago,
I was mentioning about how my dad took us camping. He and your coach, Uncle John. That's my coach.
Oh, yes. 100%. And I was like, my dad swears he heard a grizzly bear in southwest Missouri.
At least one. And you're like, he was probably just making that up. I was like, I don't think. Might have been a flock of them.
I don't know what they call it.
A gaggle of bears.
A group of angry bears.
It was a flock of grizzlies.
So that's how the word, that's how the saying, you're so stupid got started too.
No one had ever said that before.
So just some parenting advice. That's a great, great line. No one had ever said that before. So just some parenting
advice. That's a great line
to know.
You want me to just tell the story?
Yeah, go ahead.
Boys were what? Junior high?
Yeah, probably middle school.
My brother-in-law, Coach,
talked me into
taking them on a float trip.
He said, oh man, as kid, we used to go floating.
So we were going to go on an overnight float trip.
Can I stop you?
I don't know if everyone knows what a float trip is.
I don't think I knew what it was until college.
Hell.
Hell.
No.
So we rented a canoe, you know, in the middle of summer, about 118 degrees.
The vehicle we rode down there with in did not have air conditioning.
Yeah. Those canoes are made of bright metal. 118 degrees. The vehicle we rode down there with did not have air conditioning.
Those canoes are made of bright metal.
I was going to say 118,
but a good thing the canoe is like,
yeah, like just pushing the sun away from you.
It's made of like the playground slide. It's not going to burn you instantly
when you touch it, yeah.
So we went down, both canoes,
Jake and I were in one,
Steve-O and Coach was in the other.
Coach! and they were
loaded full i mean we had i mean all of our sleeping tents fishing equipment food oh man
and uh i don't think we fished a bit because we had to get to a certain point to camp that night
so we just pitched a tent and you know slept on the ground but i remember telling my grandmother, my grandmother, fairly opinionated lady,
and I was telling her, you know, yeah, John and I are taking the boys camping.
And she looked me straight in the eye and goes, you're stupid.
She was like 90 years old.
Yeah, and so since then, I mean, this has been going on the last 25 years.
And, yeah, John and I, every time either one of us does something,
we'll just tell them, you're stupid.
You know what?
Grandma was right about you.
You are stupid.
What was she saying?
You're stupid just taking the kids?
Just in general.
Okay.
I think she thought it was probably dangerous for us to take the boys.
She knew about the Sasquatch.
Yeah, she knew about the gaggle of grizzlies.
So you genuinely think you heard something like a grizzly bear?
Because my theory was like, Jake, they were messing with you,
and you believed it this entire time.
I mean, I've grown up on a farm all my life.
I've hunted.
I've been in the woods hundreds of hours.
Yeah.
So do you remember the Cornish game hens
that John bought at the grocery store?
That was my first and only time.
I'd never heard that word before,
and I'd never really seen it since.
I don't even really know what a Cornish game hen is.
I don't either.
It's a small bird because they were only about that big.
They're tiny, but I don't even know if they're real
or manufactured like balls of something.
By the time John got done cooking them,
they were that color.
Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember we didn't eat them. It looked time John got done cooking them, they were that color. Do you remember that?
Yeah, I remember we didn't eat them.
It looked like charcoal.
We threw them away.
So anyway, I don't remember what we ate that night.
It was miserable hot.
Jake and Steve go straight to sleep.
I mean, you're laying on rock, and John and I couldn't sleep,
so we're sitting around a campfire.
And the raccoons would just – you couldn't even scare them away.
I mean, you could kick them.
If they get close enough, you could kind of—not to hurt them, just to get them away.
But, I mean, that's how tame they were.
Yeah.
And so we're sitting across each other from the fire, and we both heard it at the same time.
And I think I'm the one that jumped across—either I jumped across it or he jumped across it, across the fire.
And we were hugging like newlyweds.
Really?
And I mean, we were, oh, my gosh.
I just remember we got laughing so hard because we thought that sounded, you know,
either like a bear or a mountain lion.
Yeah.
I mean, something big.
And then we got, you know, then later in the night we thought, you know,
I wonder if it's do some teenage kids.
A recording of it and just setting up there.
And we only heard it once, but oh, yeah, that was.
I do like the idea of if you're a kid and you live in that area
where people are floating all the time,
a lot of times from the city or something, just messing with them.
Oh, it'd be so fun.
Have you ever seen a bear in Missouri?
I have not.
And we've got several black bear. Do you? Yeah. Well, people tell me. I've ever seen a bear in Missouri? I have not. Okay. And we've got several black bear.
Do you? Yeah. Well, people tell me I've never seen one. Right. Yeah. It's kind of the Yellowstone of
Missouri. I think kind of where we live. We got a lot of cool stuff going on. Yeah. I've never
seen a bear, even when we've gone out to national parks. You've seen bobcats and stuff though,
right? I don't know the difference in a bobcat, a mountain lion and a cougar, but I've seen one
of them before. Is there a difference or is it just like regional colloquialisms?
Yeah, firefly or –
I think a bobcat is just – I'm going to say double the size of a house cat maybe.
Oh, okay.
And then a mountain lion is more of –
Three times.
Five times.
Hear me out.
Do you remember when we thought we saw that mountain lion fishing?
Me and you and Steve-O.
The mountain lion was the one doing the fishing.
Reel it in.
Come on, Nala.
But yeah, I told the conservation agent that, and he strongly disagreed.
The expert didn't believe you.
Not at all.
That's just my pet.
Yeah.
My pet tabby cat.
Because, yeah, you worded it. We saw a mountain lion fishing. He's like, no, you didn't. it. Not at all. That's just my pet. Yeah. My pet tabby cat. Because, yeah, you worded it.
We saw a mountain lion fishing.
He's like, no, you didn't.
Yes, we did.
They can't fish.
They're not that.
They don't have thumbs.
Right.
They can't reel.
I mean, I do like the idea of taking my kids on a float trip,
but it's one of those things, so many things when you're a parent,
it's just like, that sounds great until you do it,
and you're like, we're in the thick of it now,
and there's no going back. It was terrible i mean there was not one enjoyable and then you know
you stay up all night and then we had to go like six more miles to get to our takeout station yeah
you know and then they take us back in a bus the bus obviously had no air condition yeah then we
get in my car we haven't eaten in you know 36 hours yeah no air condition. Then we get in my car, we haven't eaten in 36 hours, no air condition,
and it is terrible. What do you remember? I don't remember it being miserable. I remember it being
like a fun float trip and camping trip. That's kind of funny. I slept great. I was like,
that's kind of funny we didn't eat. Oh, John burnt the chicken. That's kind of funny. Oh,
my dad thinks he heard Sasquatch. That's kind of funny. That's a great testament to like, so often as a parent, you're like,
this is going so bad.
And yeah, your kid looks back and they're like,
no, that was awesome.
I think it was like, yeah, it was like,
I was podcasting before I was podcasting
because we came out of it with so many stories.
So it's like overall, that's a great trip.
There you go.
We had so much to tell mom and grandma.
We've always kind of enjoyed the vacations
that did not go smooth
because I think it makes for a lot of fun.
And our family, all of our family has got a good sense of humor.
Everyone's good storytellers, and they love a good story.
You ever been to Memphis, Brad?
Yeah.
You ever been to Memphis, Steve?
Let's just tell vacations.
Yeah, I would love to hear more.
So Jake's favorite player, Jason Williams.
Oh, yeah.
Basketball.
White Jason.
White chocolate.
Yeah, there was two.
One of them killed a guy.
One of them was really good at ball handling.
So Jake wore number 55 until he got to school because of Jason Williams.
Did you really?
Yeah.
He was on the Kings.
He was number 55.
Then he got traded to Memphis Grizzlies.
He was number two.
But we wanted to go see him when he was playing for the Memphis Grizzlies.
Because also that's when they played in the Pyramid,
which is now the Bass Pro in Memphis. But, yeah when they played in the Pyramid, which is now the Bass Pro in Memphis.
But yeah, they played in the Pyramid.
So same before.
Me, my dad, your coach, and cousin Steve-O.
Okay.
Going to go to Memphis.
Probably junior high level again.
Yeah, probably.
Age.
Yeah.
So we drive down to Memphis.
Went to Graceland.
Loved it.
Do you remember that?
I remember falling in love with taking pictures.
I took so many pictures with a disposable camera of Elvis' mansion.
I thought it was fun.
Anytime I get close, whoever's with me, they get drugged at Graceland.
So we went to that.
I had looked at the tickets wrong.
We got ready to go to the game for the 1 p.m. tip-off.
Tip-off was not until 7.30 p.m.
Yeah, we looked.
We were like, I think that one's a seven.
That one's kind of smudged.
So we were staying in West Memphis, Arkansas,
which, if any of you don't know,
that's probably one of the rougher areas
in the Midwest. Or Mississippi?
No, West Memphis, Arkansas.
They're all, Arkansas's up there too?
It's a terrible, terrible location.
Okay. And also, had we known the game was
at 7.30, we wouldn't have needed to spend the night.
You can make that drive in a day.
So we have spent the night for what we end up realizing is for no reason, I guess.
Oh, we got a lot of poker in.
You know, when your kids are 12 years old, might as well play poker with them.
That's kind of the time to teach them.
That was like the golden age of ESPN.
World Series of Poker.
Yep.
Ming the Master over there.
So Hellmuth, Chris Ivey.
So I had made us a reservation at the Ramada Inn.
And then, of course, Coach.
He's like, there's no way we're staying in West Memphis.
So he changed the reservations.
And on the way there, we drove by the hotel that I had booked.
Right next to Cracker Barrel, a very nice hotel.
We get to his.
Security guard met me outside in my car.
He walks me inside.
John and the boys stayed in the car.
Bulletproof glass to the attendant.
Really?
And when they gave me the room key, he goes, would you like an escort?
I go, no, we're good.
He goes, no, you need an escort.
So you felt very safe.
There's so much security here.
This is awesome.
We check into the first room,
and do you remember what it was when we opened the door?
No, actually.
There was a bed frame, but no mattress or box frame.
What?
This has to be a motel.
This is like ones that the door is right there on the outside.
Okay.
Yeah, and it was kind of horseshoed.
You guys can see that.
I'll draw it down.
Yeah, there you go.
You all understand what a horseshoe is, probably.
And so like the pool, so you enter from the kind of inside of the courtyard, I guess.
Okay.
Courtyard.
Nice.
So we open the door.
There's just a single bed in there, no mattress, box spring, just the frame.
I can't imagine that being... He stole a whole mattress
and box spring. The security guard was still
with us, so he took us to another
room. And we got in the room
and we started playing cards.
The pool was empty and had...
Like no people or like there's
no water? No water and stuff had
been thrown in there. It was like a trash can.
Yeah, kind of a big trash can. Kind of a landfill. And so... Well, how are you... Are you the kind of guy... Are you just giving John,
Coach, just the hardest time for booking this? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Are you mad at him or is
it like a funny... No, no, no. Yes. You are stupid. You're stupid. Grandma was right. Right, yeah.
No, because I think our family, we don't let anything die.
Yeah.
And if you made a mistake in third grade, you're still hearing about it today.
So anytime something like that goes bad, I love it just because of it all.
I got something, yeah.
I'm going to hang on to this like death.
So we start playing poker, and then we remember that we'd left the cooler.
Yeah, a nice cooler in the van or whatever we had taken.
And we had forgotten that, and so we played one hand of blackjack,
and the loser had to go run out and get the cooler.
And luckily it wasn't one of the boys because we had to send them.
Hey, that's the rules.
You hit on that 16, buddy.
So I remember we opened the door door and John just running out there.
And we wanted to start hollering stuff to make it worse,
but then we thought, you know, we don't want to get him killed.
So he got back.
And for some reason, we played poker until pretty late at nighttime.
And then we had never noticed it until we were going to bed.
And do you remember what the funny part was about us trying to sleep?
Totally.
It was weird that we hadn't realized it before.
But yeah, lights are all off.
All four of us are in one hotel room.
And it's just silent. Nobody's talking or anything.
And then it sounds like we're on an aircraft carrier.
And they're launching the Air Force into action.
Like, we have to defend Pearl Harbor.
Go, go.
They're sending planes so quickly,
and it sounds like it's ripping up the shingles from our hotel.
I mean, it is crazy how loud it is.
It's the middle of the night.
Like, what are these planes doing?
I don't know what's happening.
We were either at the end of the runway or the beginning of the runway.
It was unbelievable.
And I'm telling you, but there again, we laughed until we cried.
I just remember giggling so hard.
Because one would go by.
That's pretty loud.
It'd be like three or four minutes, and you think, okay, well, maybe I'm going to get to sleep.
And then here it would come again.
Rumbling.
We would just, I mean, that may have been one of the hardest times I've laughed.
Because we would just die.
There's no sense in getting mad at it.
I mean, it is what it is.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
I've got stories for the rest of my life.
Oh, man.
So it was like the Memphis airport?
We must have been right next to, I don't even know.
I guess you couldn't look stuff up like that back then.
So just, oh, let's go to the game now.
It's 730.
Yeah, I don't even remember the game.
I don't remember a thing.
The Memphis Flippers.
No.
Beale Street Flippers.
I remember them being there.
I can't say it, but I remember them being there.
What is that? They literally flipped up in the air?
They were like kind of a circus act. It's a street
performing act. They had them be the halftime entertainment.
Yeah, just some acrobats, gymnasts
from Beale Street.
I remember Jason Williams having a pretty good game.
I remember Pau Gasol being on the team.
Strohmouth Swift? I don't remember him.
Big Country Reeves?
I think they were not the same time.
But yeah, that was a memorable little vacation.
Yeah, it's just funny that none of the girls had any input in helping plan this.
Like, oh, I'm sure they got it.
Just take our kids to West Memphis.
Like, just nasty stuff.
I just love that it sounds like the Ramada
Inn was just a great, nice spot.
And right off. And John's like,
Steve, come on. I got this.
And instead, you just stayed
in a place where you needed. I've never heard of
security at a hotel.
Yeah, it's pretty rough, man.
We don't have time
in today. We're recording on the weekend.
So we let time and, you know, Tymon have his time off with his family.
But I know you're very impressed by Tymon's running.
You've been telling me this on the phone.
It's crazy.
Watch the live stream.
When the one girl kind of doubted him.
Shame on you for doubting him.
But I did think, I thought, maybe.
So you doubted him too?
Well, I haven't. Shame on that girl. But hey did think, I thought, maybe. Yeah. You know. So you doubted him too? Well,
I haven't.
Shame on that girl.
But hey,
she made a good point.
I haven't been around
a lot of homeschooled kids.
Hey,
Tim Tebow's homeschooled.
You know,
but yeah,
I just,
I mean,
I was very glad he did
because I thought,
oh,
it's going to be embarrassing
if he goes,
829.
I thought I was so much faster.
And so,
but yeah, I couldn't believe, I couldn't believe how many people watched it.
Yeah, we had like 290 pretty much consistently watching,
even like when Rachel's going.
It's like we've been doing this an hour now.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Very fun.
So, yeah, no time in a day, but all good.
Something else I wanted you to clear the air with.
I was telling Brad, I think, off the podcast recently,
because we were talking about how we both,
we've talked about on the podcast
how we don't know what a tractor pull is.
I think you've told me,
and I still don't know what a tractor pull is.
I was like, but you do,
you happen to grow up with a guy who invented it, right?
Mm-hmm, Stacy's.
The Stacy family from Fairgrove.
So basically, a tractor pull,
and they have all different classes.
You know, I mean, they've got, you can just bring your farm tractor out.
And you'll start at one end.
And the further you pull the sled, you'll pull a sled.
And the further you pull that sled, there's weight that will rise up on the sled.
So it's almost like you're going uphill.
And so, yeah, so the further you go, the heavier the sled gets.
Back in the day when I was a kid, they did not have that.
And so they would literally pull a sled, just a huge – it might be a –
It's like a toboggan.
Like a tabletop.
But it would be 100 feet long and 30 feet wide.
Holy cow.
And so when you were standing there, I mean, you stood right on the edge of the track, and when that sled would
go by, you'd just stand on it.
Who would? The spectator?
Yeah, the spectator. Dangerous
thing. I mean, I just can't
believe that went on back then.
So you guys are all lined up on a football field
like, all right, I'm at the 15. When the tractor drives by,
I gotta hop. I gotta make my bus.
And if you were on it when they first took off before
there was any weight, it was moving.
So the idea is this thing is flat on the ground.
It's like, okay.
It's just a massive panel on the ground.
And as it goes on, everyone's like, jump on.
It's just like a huge party stage or something.
You know, where Dad and I would joke about that was because, you know,
we'd stand there and we'd do it for maybe an hour or so,
and then we'd go get something to eat. Well, then there's people standing in line.
So at the time I probably weighed 65 pounds. Right. You know, I go to get a hot dog and the
guy that replaces me weighs 240 pounds. Yeah. It's very like, yeah. Flawed science behind this
whole thing. So yeah. Anyway, some, uh, uh, a man from Fairgrove, Bill Stacy, came up with some sort of hydraulic system that the further that sled ran, it would go up.
Is that what they use everywhere now?
That's what they use to this day.
Did he patent it?
And is he doing just fine?
I don't think so.
In fact, I saw one of his boys the other day.
I didn't bring that up to him.
Yeah. But, I mean, some of these tractors now, I mean, some of boys the other day. I didn't bring that up to him.
Yeah, but I mean some of these tractors now, I mean some of them,
it will be stock tractors where you just bring your farm tractor in,
but like Lucas Oil had them and they would run up to 6,000 horsepower.
Loudest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Really?
Yeah, but it's boring.
How fast are they going?
I'd say it's taking out. You know, when they first, the top ones, I don't know, when they first take,
they probably reach 30 mile an hour pulling that sled.
That's pretty fast.
I would love to know how fast they could go just like in a drag race.
Right, yeah.
Because 6,000 horsepower.
But, yeah, it's, you know, I mean, if you watch a couple of them, you go,
yeah, that's pretty impressive.
Right.
But then if you watch 100 of them go go there's not a lot of difference in somebody pulling 275 feet and 277 feet right okay it's the same thing
yeah we grew up always going to the johnson county fairs uh demolition derby and it was awesome for
like 15 minutes it was like this is nuts this is great and then eventually it was like all right
i think i don't think we're going to stay for the whole thing. Lucas Oil Speedway had boat races too, and that's when they were my customer.
I was their salesman, so I would go to every event for them to help them.
And they had boat races.
And some of the boats, I can't remember what they were,
but they would run the quarter mile in less than four seconds.
Hold on, I'm confused.
This is a dirt track.
No, no, this is a drag strip for boats.
But like on the Ozarks or where is it okay uh
wheatland missouri okay population 159 or something like that yeah he built this massive
race car track and okay uh drag strip for boats uh four four seconds you said probably like a 3.6
around there in a quarter mile and they would fly did they ever get like just fly not when i was
watching okay okay but the biggest class there would be a hundred boats in this and it wasn't
even the fastest in the quarter mile it was who can come closest to seven seconds so they were
still running like you know 165 mile an hour top speed or something people swimming trying to do it
but yeah in fact the promoter
you know
he was complaining about
and I go
it's boring
that's why you don't
I said if you want to make it exciting
put a guy on a tube behind him
get a ramp
yeah the boat
and the tube's
got to make it to the finish line
yeah
but yeah
just after
one after another
I go nah
this is terrible
that kind of unlocked a memory
I remember you dragged me up there
a couple times
we would go up there
why did you have to do that I don't think other salesmen were
attending drag races. And it was just, just customer service. That's right. I remember
that was one of my first times really smelling beer like that going there. Just, just everyone,
just beers. Hey, mama likes to drink when she's racing. Uh, but yeah, I only went up there two or three times probably,
and sometimes it'd be fun.
It was a different clientele, but it was, there was parts of it I did enjoy,
but, you know, it was every Saturday night in the summertime,
and, you know, you and Caitlin and mom went with me once
and refused to ever go back.
Because of all that beer smell.
So, yeah, mom did not like it.
Speaking of county fairs,
I just had kind of another flashback.
I remember when we performed at one in Ohio
like a year or so ago,
we were just kind of all looking around at stuff,
and there was an event.
Maybe you know what this is,
but they had like little boys, little girls,
10-year-old girls just hitting pigs with a stick.
What event is that?
Just showing pigs.
That's showing pigs?
And so what are you trying to get the pig to do? What are you guiding it? I don event is that? Just showing pigs. That's showing pigs? Mm-hmm.
And so what are you trying to get the pig to do?
What are you guiding it?
You know, I don't know.
And I showed pigs.
Not very well.
I really don't remember.
Because we showed cattle, you know.
Yeah.
You're hitting those with sticks, too?
Yeah, what did you hit those with?
What kind of sticks are we talking?
So a stick was, I mean... Good question.
Like a switch kind of thing?
No, no, no.
This is going to sound bad if i really don't know but i'd say it's the size of a broom handle okay and mine had a little hook on the bottom of it okay and so when you when i would show the
cattle they were always looking for the posture of the cattle and then when you'd bring them out
to the middle and have them pose you know they wanted to scrape, and you'd rub that stick kind of on their belly.
Okay.
To get them to like.
Or if their feet weren't perfectly, when they came to stop,
their feet were supposed to be perfectly in line, you know,
and you might tap a foot to bring it up.
Okay.
And so I had to show one year,
I can't even remember what breed of cattle I showed,
but I put it off to the last minute.
Because, I mean, most people spend hours and hours and hours,
you know, hundreds of hours training these cattle.
Mine wasn't even tame enough to lead by a halter.
But I was the only person in my class, and so I won grand champion.
That's why you knew you weren't going to practice it.
So, you know, most people are so proud to lead them out and they just, they walk like a dog for
you. And I remember when they gave me my grand champion ribbon, it was such a struggle for me
to bring my cow out there. They said, you can leave the cow in the pool. He's just bucking.
And so, yeah. And then I showed pigs too, and I really don't remember.
I don't even remember what they were looking for on pigs.
Yeah.
This is my pig.
It's a pig.
It's a sugar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You remember the name of any of the pigs?
Did you attach?
We didn't name them.
We named them.
Oh, yeah.
But yeah, we never named any of our animals okay
let's ask have you talked to your dad about um uh dry mouse oh no yeah what would you yeah let's
be interesting you know i got that whole bucket mechanism to catch mice in you know okay it's just
the nod on the podcast is great um it just seems like a lot of work to catch a mouse, to be honest.
Well, you can catch a lot at once.
Brad caught seven one time.
Really?
Yeah.
I was gone for like a week over Christmas.
It came back and there were seven in there.
Gee whiz.
Yeah.
Kind of fun.
Anyway, when we got back from Gulf Shores, there were two in there.
Tossed them out, put them back in.
I forgot to fill water up in the bucket and ended up catching a mouse in the bucket,
but he's in a dry bucket.
What would your next move have been?
Step on him.
Oh, okay.
Put him on a bologna sandwich, go to town.
You would have?
Step on him?
Then you got it on your shoe.
You don't mind?
What would you have done with him?
I said I would have drowned him.
Stepping on him is so much more humane.
Really?
Well, yeah.
Stepping on them is more humane?
Well, yeah.
At least I kill them before they know what happened.
Drown them.
They're going to be going, I can't keep this up much longer.
I mean, they know it's not going well.
We did read that they could swim for a little while or something.
When they see my shoe coming, all they think is, it's gotten cloudy.
Yeah. And that's the last thing they remember.
I didn't know it was supposed to rain today.
I didn't consider the shoe even being an option.
That's great.
I don't hate the immediate squashing.
I just would not use my shoe, I don't think.
I would find something else that I can throw away
or something.
I don't know.
Catherine's shoe.
Get Bo to do it. Bo would do it. Bo would don't know. Catherine's shoe. Catherine's shoe.
Get Bo to do it.
Bo would do it.
Bo would do just fine.
It'd be a game for him. Grab it by the tail and swing it around a little bit.
Yeah.
Bo, yesterday, I asked Bo, I was like, Bo, you want to go play baseball?
And he's like, yeah.
So we went and played.
And for whatever reason, he could not take his eyes off Harrison Pollard.
I would try to pitch to Bo, and he'd look at me for a little bit, and he'd just turn
around and just stare at Harrison he just loved Harrison
he was like infatuated it was so funny
yeah I kind of get it
before you got there Harrison was reading him a few books and Bo was just like
putting his head on his shoulder like as he was
reading to him I was like Bo is
he's a lovable guy like Bo is like
he did that same thing to you he like came up and was like
hugging on you and stuff but
yeah he was I did notice like
he was really eye and harrison a
lot i also looked over i was like having a conversation with peter and i looked over at
jake's probably pitched 15 pitches in a row to bow without any contact from bow it was fun to try to
figure out so patient yeah well i was like well is it a velocity issue i feel it's like i need to
hit the bat so where is bow swinging if bow's not hitting it fault. Because at that age, it's all on the pitcher.
I was watching it. I was like, I think they need to be
a little bit farther apart. At least that's
how I'm farther apart. So he has more time.
Because he was always swinging too late.
Sometimes he would swing
as soon as I pitched it. So it's like every now and then
I just need to hum one. And he just
launched it out of the park. Because if he makes
contact, he can hit it far. He had
one, and it was amazing. You brush him off the park. Because if he makes contact, he can hit it far. He had one and it was amazing.
Yeah.
But you brush him
off the plate, Danny.
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you what it was
is both kids
because they would switch
Hattie would be the catcher
and then Hattie would be the batter.
They both wanted to catch
the pitch,
but I'm not
throwing it
on a line
so they can't.
So they kept like,
Hattie would like
charge the plate
to try and catch it
and she never got smacked,
but I kept being like,
having to avoid them all from each other.
It's amazing.
We've played baseball outside not that many times, 20, 30 times though,
like quite a few times.
And they still don't understand.
Like Bo's left-handed, Hattie's right-handed.
And they cannot get it through their head where to stand.
Hattie's doing it wrong.
Hattie, you're on the wrong side.
You need to go over on the other side, Hattie.
And like they also don't understand where to like sit or like stand for the being a catcher like
you're too close okay now you're 50 feet away it's way too far come on back you know it was funny
bo was kind of boss around harrison because here's like i'll be the umpire and so uh harris is like
all right we got two strikes i was like no say that's strike two all right, we got two strikes. I was like, no, say that's strike two. Harrison's like, all right, that's strike two.
I was like, yeah, good.
I know you think like,
surely they're not going to say those kind of things.
They say that kind of stuff to me,
but it's like they understand there's a social difference.
No, they don't.
They'll say it to anybody.
Harrison, say that's strike two.
Yeah, we had a good time last night.
Yeah.
Kind of a late celebration for Catherine's birthday.
Had some friends over and just hung out and saw
the kids for a while before they went to bed. When's
Catherine's birthday? May 11th.
11th. Yep. A lot going on
these couple weeks. Yeah, right the day
before Mother's Day. So, I don't know.
Do you have any... When's Trish's birthday? 8th.
Yeah, she's right there too. It's just like
on one hand, it's like I don't hate
two birds, one stone kind of idea. But on on one hand, it's like, I don't hate, you know, two birds, one stone kind of idea.
Like, but the other hand, I'm like, I want to celebrate you a lot.
Like, I want to, you know, recognize both holidays.
Yeah, Trish gets screwed.
Yeah, it is.
Like, jokingly, at the end of Mother's Day, I was like,
happy birthday, hope it was a great birthday.
You know, just like, it just felt like we were doing deja vu
two days in a row of like,
let's celebrate mom.
Here's a card that you didn't know about.
Both scribbled on it to sign his name.
Well, it's harder to celebrate Mother's Day when the kids aren't enough.
It's me and Trish.
I think we went to church.
Sharon came over after church.
We worked in the basement because the basement flooded.
Oh, really? Oh then, you know.
Oh, it flooded a while back.
Or recently it did.
Yeah.
Like a month or so ago?
Yeah, probably about three weeks.
Whenever we had all that rain.
Yes, yes.
And you're still working.
Like, it's still just a huge.
Yeah, it's.
Because it's a finished basement.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was.
Right.
Not now.
We went through that, too.
And it's no fun.
We went through it either two
or three times growing up and then finally i think after the second time my parents were like we need
a sump pump we didn't the first time they're like it's never flooded it's not gonna i'm sure that
was just a fluky thing yeah so yeah so i went i mean we have not had rain for two years i mean
enough for that sump pump to come on and so so it started raining that Thursday, and I went down that morning,
checked on the sump pump.
It was running fine.
Trish called me.
It worked fine Thursday.
Friday evening, Trish called me.
She goes, hey, did you go down to the basement?
I go, yeah, yeah.
You know, I checked.
I said, sump pump.
She goes, I'm just going to stop you right now.
She goes, our basement's flooded.
We've got three inches of water.
Dogs are down there playing in it. She goes, I don's flooded. We got three inches of water. Dogs are down there playing in it.
She goes, I don't know what to do.
And so, yeah, so right above that sump pump, about two feet above,
there's a little butterfly valve.
So when the water comes on, the water can go up.
But when the pump shuts off, that valve will go back.
It keeps the water from running back down.
It's stuck.
It malfunctioned so yeah
so you had things in place for it yeah so for a $12.99 park dang it about i i don't know
15 20 grand dang man yeah so and you see your insurance doesn't no no no no no not at all
we gotta talk to somebody about this. I know it.
Yeah.
I had them email me my policy,
and then I sent it to one of my best friends that's an agent in Oklahoma.
I've been an agent for 30 years.
So he read it over.
The next day he called me.
As soon as I answered the phone, I thought, oh, it's going to be –
he goes, you're screwed.
Oh, you're stupid.
He said –
No.
And he was kind of upset with my he goes dude he goes it's
on page 28 they do not cover and it was phrased reverse rainwater damage how can you yeah and how
there's got to be ways to like kind of get around. I don't know. How do you prove that it was that?
Well, I think, I don't know.
It is what it is.
I mean, Trish and I spent all night, Friday night, all day Saturday.
And so, yeah, we had to rip all the carpet up, baseboards,
all the door casings inside and outside, cabinets.
Oh, cabinets even.
We've thrown away three trailer loads so far,
and we got another that 1-800-GOT-JUNKED, my best friend.
You know them.
They're coming again Monday.
Jeez.
That's so tough.
And so it's been – Literally, we bought our house.
We hadn't even moved into our house yet over here,
and we got – I think it was like 12 inches of rain in three hours
or something crazy like that.
And I was going over there with one of my buddies anyway, to like work on the house, like do some
little demolition and stuff before we moved in. And we had to like stop on the highway. Cause it
was so rain so hard. I couldn't see, I felt it was dangerous. And we get there and yeah, just
standing water in our basement and people all around all throughout the neighborhood. Like,
yeah, it's our house has never flooded in the 30 years we've lived here
and we got five inches of water less.
And so it's one of those things like back in the day,
I used to love the rain.
And when it poured down rain, I was like, this is so great.
We can just stay inside and enjoy the rain and watch it.
And now it's like, every time it rains,
I go downstairs and just like check my basement just in case.
You'd rather have a tornado.
At least that's covered.
Give me that.
Tear up the house.
Anyway.
Should we do a schmores?
Let's do some schmores.
Let's do it.
Brad, you want to announce the category today?
Yeah, I believe we're calling it the schmores,
the draft of substitute cuss words.
What are your best replacements?
Yep.
So obviously we are just good men here.
We don't ever say a bad word.
You know, let me ask you guys, do you guys cuss any? No, I, I do sometimes. Uh,
but it's almost always private because of anger. Um, yeah. Oh, is there a different to me? Like
I get mad when I hurt. All right. Uh, It's only in the woodshop when I'm like,
I mess up or like I get scared of like,
I almost just cut off my finger and I'm mad at myself.
So that's a little bit of both.
So I had a terrible mouth on me when I was a kid,
junior high through high school.
And probably about,
I think it was a summer between my junior and senior year.
I was over to a friend's house where we had a lot of people over.
And basically I was doing my standup routine for him him in the living room and somebody had recorded me and then a few days later they
played it back for me and I was embarrassed okay oh my gosh yeah that's terrible but you know I
mean I grew up listening to Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and stuff and so I did I had a
terrible mouth on me and that and then just shortly after that, I'd heard somebody make the comment,
the only people that use cuss words are people that are not smart enough to think of an alternative word.
And so I quit cussing right then.
Yeah.
Except with my good Christian friends.
Really?
And I told Trish, well, I just told Trish, you know, one of my constant prayers is I don't want to be a stumbling block, you know, for somebody.
So, I mean, people from my work, my customers, acquaintances of mine, they've never heard me cuss.
But when I'm with Paul Shira, it's terrible.
Let it fly.
That's funny.
I told Trish, I go, if you don't want to hear it, don't listen to voicemails because we get mean.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And it's just, it's funny.
And, you know, Trish, I've never, never heard Trish say one.
But, I mean, I don't cuss when I get mad or anything like that.
No.
Dang, it's about as bad as I say.
Yeah, it's like, whoa, dad's fired up.
Unless I'm talking to Paul.
Yeah.
Unless I'm talking to Paul.
It's an interesting phenomenon just in general.
I don't know, Jake, you can, we don't have to get too far into this,
but, like, I feel like our age, Christians,
like it's almost like this trend now of, like, yeah, we're Christians, but like, I feel like our age Christians, like it's almost like this
trend now of like, yeah, we're Christians, but we still, we still cuss.
There's like this very popular meme page.
It's called Christians who curse sometimes.
Yes.
It's like, it's like, but it's almost like we're like, like certain people, it feels
like they're like trying to prove like, Hey, like you can cuss and still love Jesus.
It's like, I can be in the world, but not of it.
Yeah.
But let's not like make people like think that we're just, yeah. St can be in the world, but not of it. Yeah, but let's not make people think
that we're just stumbling blocks of whatever.
It's an interesting thing.
Have you noticed that?
I'm not going to nail the exact timeline,
but I feel like it was like 15 years ago,
Christians were like, how about beer?
You know what?
We're going to start drinking beer.
And then about 10 years ago, it was like, and tattoos.
And about five years ago, it was like,
and we sometimes cuss.
And we cuss every once in a while.
Yeah, even Christian artists and stuff like you'll hear them say stuff.
I'm like, okay, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know.
I haven't really adopted that.
But for whatever reason, in the woodshop by myself, if I get mad, I'm throwing some stuff around.
I don't know why.
I don't know what it is.
Do you want to tell the story real quick?
Because I used to apparently cuss a lot.
You also used to have road rage.
And then that also got fixed pretty quick. Do you want to tell Brad that story? Did we tell
this last time we were on the podcast? I don't know. I think I did. Yeah, I thought you might
have too. About the guy, I tell Gaten the guy from church. Yes, yes, you did tell me that story.
For two hours. Basically, long story short, Trish and I go on a concert. I'm right on a guy's rear
end. Yes.
A couple weeks later, see Roger at church.
He goes, hey, did you enjoy the concert?
I go, yeah, did you?
He goes, yeah, you followed me the whole way down there.
I'm telling you, since then, you can do anything you want to.
I do not care anymore.
Really?
Do you feel like he knew for sure?
Yeah.
It wasn't like one of those.
We were closer than you and I are now. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I was riding him. Oh, man. That's terrible, terrible. So funny't like one of those like... We were closer than you and I are now. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I was riding it.
Oh, man.
That's terrible.
Terrible.
So funny.
Can't even imagine it.
All right.
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Cool.
All right.
So speaking about Cubs words, I do want to tell a story to you.
Okay, great.
And the only way Trish and I figured out, we used to watch a TV show, Coach.
Do you remember with...
You know, I was just telling Brad a story last night.
Cheers.
Well, I'll let you tell your story. Cheers influenced me. Craig Dean Nelson had the sitcom Coach. Oh, yeah, I was just telling Brad a story last night. Cheers. Well, I'll let you
tell your story.
Cheers influenced me.
Craig Dean Nelson
had the sitcom Coach.
And I loved that show.
I thought it was a great show,
but I guess they cussed
a little bit
because Trish and I
never cussed around the kids
or never cussed in general.
But Jake was
maybe four.
It was the day before
vacation Bible school
and we were up in the attic
and the neighbor started up a lawnmower
I'm going to say a swear word
if people need to bleep it out
so
we're up in the attic and the neighbor
started up a lawnmower and Jake goes
what the hell was that
and I go
I go
what? He goes what what the hell is that?
And I said, boy, Jake, I'm sorry.
I'm having trouble hearing up here.
What did you say?
He said it again.
So the night before vacation, Bible school,
the church is going to think Trish and I are terrible.
So he said, you can't say that.
Well, then the family got a hold of it.
And so every time Angie or John or my mom and dad,
I mean, a hundred times a day, they go, now, Jake, what words can I not say? And he had a speech
impediment. He went, can't say hate, can't say stupid, can't say what the hell, can't say...
And he just rattled off. I remember being kind of a puppet to that specifically. They kept asking me,
I already told you.
I can't say hate.
I can't say stupid.
And so the idea was that he heard it from Coach.
That was the only thing we could,
unless Trish was talking dirty while I was at work.
Right, yeah, of course.
Yeah, I really don't know.
But yeah, we quit watching Coach real quick.
That's funny.
I was thinking it was Cheers, but maybe it was Coach.
And it could have been Cheers too.
I like that show, too.
All right, so alternative cuss words.
How many rounds do we get?
We get four picks?
We get four picks each.
Jake told me, but I didn't write anything down.
I grew up with the alternative cuss words.
Do you want to pick the order of who goes first, second, third?
Let's just go this way.
So I go first?
Bradley, Steve, Jacob.
Great. All right, I's just go this way. So I go first? Bradley, Steve, Jacob. Okay, great.
All right, I do have a list here. I'm going to go
with one that I think some people are like
almost uncomfortable because of how good
of a substitute cuss word this is.
I'm going to say frick.
Like some people are like, whoa, I don't know if I want my
kids listening to this right now.
Like if you just give a
hard just frick, like people are uncomfortable with it. Are you a little uncomfortable right now. If you just give a hard just frick,
people are
uncomfortable with it. Are you a little uncomfortable right now?
So uncomfortable. Oh, frick!
And that goes
for all the... You can call people
frickers. You can say, what the
frick? All the different things.
Frick. Number
one. There was alternative cuss words
that I would get in trouble saying
When I was young
Yeah
Because my mom goes
It means the same thing
I think yeah
I remember
I'm pretty sure
It was you or mom
Maybe both
But you guys did not let me
This was like the second iteration
Of what I learned from coach
But you guys wouldn't let me say
What the
Because it implied
Oh is that what you were going to say
No
I didn't think that counted as a substitute
Sorry you can take it You can take it No because Steve-O used to say it Is going to say? No! I didn't think that counted as a substitute. Sorry, you can take it.
You can take it.
No, because Steve-O used to say it.
Is that where I got it from?
I don't know,
but he would always say,
what the,
and then he'd stop.
Uh-huh.
Drove me bananas.
I mean,
because I thought,
well,
and he was younger
when he was doing it.
Angie and John
didn't think anything about it,
but it drove me crazy
because that was going to be my number one. Oh, no, sorry. That can be. I didn't think anything about it, but it drove me crazy because that was going to be my number one.
Oh, no, sorry.
That can be.
I didn't.
Sorry.
I'm giving it to you.
Yeah, that could be your pick.
I was just telling a quick story.
Yeah.
I think Hattie does.
I mean, Hattie's saying, what the heck now all the time and stuff.
But for a while, it was just, what the?
And I think, yeah, we kind of felt that way too.
Like, where are you going with this?
Yeah, I hated that.
And actually, that wasn't even going to be. But that's the one that gets under my skin the most okay oh okay so probably
the most aggressive yeah yeah never said it but that probably gets under my skin i would never
okay so we got frick and we got what the uh i'm gonna go with my goodness oh okay my goodness yeah
i think that's a time i probably say that when other people would probably
be cursing or something but uh yeah really like my goodness i like i wrote goodness as well i'm
a big yeah there's a couple you can say goodness yeah and then i've got one so we do a snake draft
so then i'll do two and then come back this way i'm proud of you too okay you got it uh i've only
heard two people say this and it's been timmon and you. And it is the word foot.
What? Foot.
So I remember growing up, you always say, kiss my foot.
Oh, yeah. That's Barney Five.
Yeah, you'd always say, kiss my foot. And I had heard anyone else say it. And then probably a
week or so ago, Tymon said it. We were all in a group text, me, Tymon, Scott, Isaac,
trying to plan out a Friday pickleball shoot day. And Scott is just like,
I can't do here.
I was like,
what are here?
It's like,
I can't do this either.
And then finally time goes
paternity.
Leave my foot.
It was hilarious.
I was like,
that's cool.
You feel comfortable
up with Scott to say that
my foot also hilarious
that you said my foot.
Yeah.
So I love foot.
Okay.
As a substitute cuss word,
kiss my foot,
kiss my paternity,
leave my foot.
So those are my two picks.
So that's Barney Fife originally?
Originally, you think?
I don't know.
That's what you think of, though?
Yeah.
Barney Fife also came up with the word stupid.
Yeah, that's good.
My go-to is crap.
Yeah.
I say that a lot.
Did you get in trouble growing up saying that?
That felt like probably a little too extreme for a certain point. I feel like all of these, I'm not letting Hattie say any a lot. Did you get in trouble growing up saying that? That felt like probably a little too extreme
for a certain point.
I feel like all of these,
I'm not letting Hattie
say any of them,
you know,
kind of thing.
You don't say crap.
You don't say socks.
You let her say heck.
I know.
Honestly,
I've thought about that.
You might as well just
let her say the big one.
Hey, hey.
Let her go.
Get her a tattoo.
We'll watch Coach
and then she'll start saying it.
What's your,
do you have one
like on the golf course?
Like a bad shot, you shank one, you say crap.
It's my third one.
Crap's my number one.
We'll get back to it.
Brad, what's your second and third pick?
Give me this three-syllable
it just feels good coming out.
Dag nabbit.
That was my dad's. My dad loved dag nabbit.
Dag nabbit. The nabbit was a hard nabbit. Dag nabbit. That was my dad's. My dad loved dag nabbit. Dag nabbit.
Like, the nabbit was a hard nabbit, you know?
Hard nabbit.
The hard N.
Come on.
It's like, yeah, you know, I get caught stealing.
I didn't even get the sign, but I'm like, I'm fast for my size.
They're not going to think I'm going to steal.
Thrown out in second.
The inning's over.
Dag nabbit.
You guys clap.
Dag nabbit. Dang nabbit! You guys clap. Dang nabbit, Brad.
Dang nabbit.
So that's one.
And then my second one is just one that I use
almost as often as Frick.
It's fudge.
I knew you were going to say fudge.
Yeah.
Don't like that one either.
I know.
Because it's too good.
It's so close.
I know.
I remember specifically what it would have been. F12
maybe, and we're all playing pickleball
like everyone's watching us play, and you hit into that
and you would just scream fudge. Fudge!
I don't know. Fudge!
Like totally sure you're not saying it.
I'm not sure you should be raising
children. Yeah, exactly.
Call some people.
That's why it's a good customer, because it's close.
It's something.
Damn it. Fudging. so this one might be too close to dag nabbit but it's my second most word used is
dang it yeah and i would get in trouble for saying that when i was a kid yeah howdy says that too
man maybe i need to reevaluate my parenting because so dang it's a... Dang it. I like dang it.
I say that one a lot.
Yeah.
That's probably my...
I probably do that more than I say crap.
Dang it's a lot.
And in fact, you know, people at work and stuff,
they'll make fun of me, you know,
because I'll say, uh-oh, triplets man.
Triplets man.
Saying dang it.
Boy, settling down.
That's funny.
All right, my last two.
One, I'm going to, this one's for Rachel.
She says this all the time.
She'll go, she says rats.
Yes.
She says rats all the time.
Oh, rats.
Where's my phone at?
I left my yoga mat at the power life.
Oh, rats.
Rats.
So she's always saying rats.
And then one, I don't use it that much,
but I want to use it more.
Okay.
Crud. Crud. I think crud's just an old-fashioned, it's much, but I want to use it more. Okay.
Crud.
Crud.
I think crud's just an old-fashioned.
It's more wholesome crap.
Yes, it really is.
It doesn't slap as hard as crap. A little more educated.
Yes.
A little more educated.
It's kind of a Bachelors of Science crap version.
Crud is nice.
I don't know if crud's more educated.
You're not saying crud in a tuxedo.
You know?
I don't think it's like high class.
It's like, thank you.
Oh, crud. I forgot your ballet key's like high class. Like, thank you. Oh, crud.
I forgot your valet key.
Oh, yeah.
Would you like the salmon Florentine?
Oh, crud.
Oh, crud.
We're all out.
Rats.
But I like crud.
Okay.
I want to say it more.
That's great.
I would love to see people's reasonings for why they're voting for which one.
Yeah.
What stands out to you?
You know I'm going to win.
I hope so.
You know I'm going to win. Is it my last one? Your last one? Yeah voting for which one. Yeah, what stands out to you? You know I'm going to win. I hope so.
You know I'm going to win.
Is it my last one?
Yeah, your last one.
See, this is one, and I don't know if it's a country thing for a cuss word or like a triplet family.
But we used to always say it all the time.
You'd say, hey, you Asian.
Oh, my.
I think that's an actual cuss word.
You can't say that.
You can't say that.
We're going to have to bleep that out.
I mean, that's like a real.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
We'd always say you Asian.
Stop.
Forget.
Just quit.
No matter what you put in front of it, Asian.
No, don't say Asian.
Hey, you country.
That's just as bad.
That's just as bad.
Hey, you blonde-headed.
No, it is not.
You guys are messing with me.
I have not even really heard that many people say that word, but I know it's bad.
Who have you heard say that word?
We said it all the time.
My pastor says it. I don't know what I bad. Who have you heard say that word? We said it all the time. My pastor says it.
I don't know what I mean.
Steve, no.
That's like, yeah.
That's maybe like one of the top cuss words
I can think of.
Tymon's going to hear this nine times.
I have to bleep it out each time.
Oh my goodness.
Tymon, you silly little...
You can't say that.
Are you guys messing with me?
Timon's going to get... His parents are not going to let him edit this episode.
I'm going to have to edit this.
Holy...
I don't know what we're going to put in the...
Rachel said, I can't believe...
Rachel can hear it out there.
Holy!
Oh, my gosh. Oh, sounds sick. Rachel can hear it out there. Golly. Oh my gosh.
Oh, I know.
We're fine.
We're out of earshot from my kids, luckily.
So does that count as my fourth?
No, you gotta do a different one.
You gotta choose a different one.
So seriously, I have noticed people when I say it,
because I thought, okay, this is my safe word.
Well, think about it.
Think about when you're at a grocery store.
Yeah.
You don't say that.
That's like, hey, we're the California.
It doesn't matter.
I don't even know how to explain to you why it's so bad.
I guess you just don't know.
But it's like, that's a really special thing to those people.
Right.
It's sacred.
Yeah. I would just try to work that one out
maybe your next schmores
could be a substitute for that word
boy grandma was right
you were so nice
oh you're surrounding the campfire
telling stories with uncle john again
okay
alright do you have an alternative to...
What have I said?
What the...
What the...
Crap.
Dang it and crap.
Dang it and crap.
Holy cow.
Holy cow is good.
Holy cow.
Pretty close to, you know...
Holy.
Yeah.
Yeah, holy...
I forgot to write that down.
Is that closer than Asian...
I think you guys... Yeah, I forgot to write that down. Is that closer than Asian?
Simon is going to take five hours on this.
All right, I'm done.
I will never be invited back on the podcast again.
Yeah, we had a good run.
Shit-ass Brad's dad.
Holy cow.
Holy cow is your last one.
Yeah, my dad would never.
Dagnabbit.
Sorry, Dean. your last one. Yeah, my dad would never. Dag nabbit. Sorry, Dane.
My last one, I'm going to go with... We have dang it, so I can't do this.
I'm just going to go straight up with gosh.
Gosh was the first one I wrote down.
Gosh!
Because you could say it a few different ways.
Right.
Gosh.
Gosh.
I like gosh dang it a lot, but I'm not taking that.
I'm just taking gosh
straight up gosh you throw oh my gosh in there yes gosh or golly i like golly golly is good um
so i got frick dag nabbit fudge gosh steve said what the crap dang it something holy cow
and then jake said my goodness foot rats and crud um you got any extras there any other ones
sheesh sheesh uh goodness gracious that's like that one yep um about dog on
oh dog on i like tool for like a person oh just like a replacement for some other words
that guy's a real tool yeah real piece of work What about a 40 year old virgin Kelly Clarkson? Remember back in the day? Oh people would use that
He was like getting like a yeah, Oh chest wax
We remember that old video of the Tourette's guy he would say Bob Saget Bob Saget
Cuss word. Yes. Very good. Bob Saget stink. Yeah, it's had a socks that stink or just like
instead of the other darn stink fart. Oh yeah, what the fart fart. You have
any honorable mentions? I'm scared. You've done enough for this podcast.
I'm scared. Shoot. Yeah. Oh, Oh, shoot's good. Shoot's a classic.
And I'm done.
I'm not even...
Sam Hill.
What Sam Hill is this?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And remember the Titans.
They would say, what in the John Brown hind parts?
Yeah, break off your John Brown hind parts.
Yeah, that's what he'd say.
Yeah, yeah.
That was always kind of fun.
That is a good one.
I just have a game for Brad.
Oh, a game for Brad.
Okay.
So with the basement... He's got it written down So with the basement flooding, my wife made this.
Oh, good.
Shoot, I was going to have her in here.
Shoot, shoot.
Dagnabbit.
You want me to bring her?
No, not now.
Not after I'm cussing like a sailor in here, apparently.
So when we cleaned out the basement,
this is a bunch of the junk that we found that my son still had in our house.
And I'm going to read you a list and you tell me if it was Jake's or if it was
made up.
Okay.
Oh,
wow.
A guitar,
a guitar.
Is that Jake's or is that something Jake didn't have?
Did Jake have a guitar?
I know Jake knows three or four chords on the guitar.
GCD.
Um,
it's not Something he said.
Juicy D?
I think Jake did not have a guitar.
He had one.
Really?
You remember who you stole that from?
Drew Bynum.
Let me borrow it.
And then I broke a string off, and he didn't want it back.
I don't think we offered it to him.
So did you throw it away?
Or do you have it?
No.
Actually, that's one of the things we're going to put out.
We got a bunch of stuff we're just going to put for free.
Yeah.
That's one of the things like one of my parents. Air hockey table's leaving.
Foosball table.
Oh, foosball table got thrown away.
Oh, that's fine.
Yeah.
That's dumb.
You got air hockey and foosball?
Doing all right.
No wonder you visited all your clients.
Karaoke machine.
Karaoke machine. Karaoke machine.
A machine for karaoke?
I'm going to guess once again, no.
Nice jokes.
I don't even remember that one.
He didn't use it very often.
They still have it from somebody?
Longboard.
Because we had a gravel driveway, so I'd make sense.
He had a longboard.
He did have a little bit of a cut-off jean shorts phase, so I'll say yes.
Jakes.
Freshman year of college.
Oversized water gun.
Oversized?
How big are we talking?
Those big ones, two-hander.
A little like super soaker.
Super soaker.
Yes.
Not Jakes.
No?
Bummer.
You got a karaoke machine, but no super soakers.
I can't think of it.
Rough life.
Karaoke machine.
Electronic keyboard.
Sounds like something he would dabble on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Learn the chords.
Hula skirt.
That one I'm more confident in than any of the other ones that he has.
Okay, and here's one we found in the basement.
We think it's Caitlin's, and I hope it is because I want to embarrass you.
Inflatable porta potty.
What?
An inflatable, yeah.
I saw it, and I, Trish, what is this?
Is it a costume, or is it like?
No, it's just in case you're walking down the street and go, hey.
Or like at a beach or something.
Somebody blow this up for me.
It's like just a little tent that you can just get in. And then I do have one more thing. Oh, hey. Or like at a beach or something. Somebody blow this up for me. It's like just a little tent that you can just get in. I do have
one more thing. Oh, wow.
From cleaning the basement up, we would like to give
Jake a gift, and there's a little explanation
that goes on with it. What in the world? Don't get too excited.
Rachel, sorry.
I love this already. I don't know the
port-a-potty or the karaoke machine.
That was mine. Did I ever use that?
Did I borrow that from Drew Bynum, too? I don't know.
Alright, what do we got here? Oh! That was mine? Did I ever use that? Did I borrow that from Drew Bynum, too? I don't know. All right.
What do we got here?
Oh!
This is where it's been the whole time.
How about this?
Wow!
You guys don't understand the iconic...
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
It's like gone through some stuff.
Yeah, it's been in the flood.
The basement flooded.
Yeah.
It is wet. Was it in the stuff. Yeah, it's been in the flood. The basement flooded. It is wet.
Was it in the flood?
Yeah, it's wet.
It's probably damp from the air.
It was in the basement.
Yeah.
Little confession.
You came home one weekend to do laundry,
and your mother stole that hat from you.
Did she really?
Because she hated it so much.
Really?
That's amazing.
That makes sense.
He's like, he's wearing it way too often.
He looks so goofy in that thing.
Yeah, God forbid I make memories with the youth ministry kids, you know, that I'm hired to wear.
It just looks sabotaged.
It looks so bad.
God don't need you that bad.
That's so funny.
That does make sense because I was like, it doesn't, like, I don't lose things like this, especially that hat.
Yeah, he just lost it out of nowhere, I remember.
She hides stuff from me all the time.
The other day, I went to my closet, and there's 15 new shirts hanging in my closet.
I'm going, I forgot about these.
She gets tired of me wearing the same, because I'll wear the same thing all the time.
Oh, this is my new favorite shirt.
I'll wear it once a week.
And so, yeah, she'll just take them out of my closet and hide them,
and I'm not smart enough to go look.
I'm just surprised. I mean, it's Christmas to them out of my closet and hide them. And I'm not smart enough to go look. I'm just surprised.
I mean, it's Christmas to me every week.
Forget about this one.
It's funny that mom got me that because for Mother's Day this weekend,
I'm giving her her clothes back that she left here last time she was here.
That's great.
Nice little trade.
Yeah.
And I didn't even know mom stole that from me until the other day.
She goes, yeah, I took it from him when he came home.
Because we talked about it kind of recently on the podcast.
Recently, yeah.
Yeah, you guys were just talking about it. And that's when she, yeah, so basically flooded. She got, yeah, I took it from him when he came home. Because we talked about it kind of recently on the podcast. Recently, yeah. Yeah, you guys were just talking
about it. That's when she, yeah, so
basically flooded. She got your wet hat back.
It's so nice.
It's been wet this entire time. Yeah, it's been wet for
seven years. That's so funny.
Yeah, I don't think I'll wear it anymore. But yeah, for
like the K-Life days, that was a special hat.
People loved it. So are you and Rachel
looking forward to the cruise or not?
Yes. To be honest, I'm looking forward to it a lot, but we got this Portugal trip first.
I know it.
I don't like anything taking precedent over the cruise.
You know, that reminds me.
I forgot.
We haven't even got into the questions yet.
I forgot.
We got 100 questions for you to answer, but somebody asked you a question.
You and Catherine want to come on a cruise?
Here he goes.
Why are you asking?
Have you ever been on one?
I've been on one, like, yeah, middle school we went.
It was a carnival cruise. Have you been on one since you've been on one, like, yeah, middle school we went. It was a carnival cruise.
Have you been on one since you've been married?
No.
That would change your life.
Really?
What do you love about them?
I honestly couldn't pinpoint it.
Okay.
Because I do have some base, and I could take it or leave it.
And I think when Jake, when we took Jake on one,
I don't think Jake probably cared if he ever went on another cruise.
He got bored.
But for me, it's just they treat you like royalty.
Yep.
Very few decisions to be made.
Royalty is a bit of a stretch.
I don't know.
Trish and I love everything about it.
Have you done an all-inclusive resort before?
Yes.
And you like cruises more?
I hated all-inclusive resorts.
What do you think is the differentiation?
Well, one thing thing we don't drink
okay yeah so you're not and there's no such thing as a non-alcoholic
for inclusive resort my travel agent laughed at me when i asked
and i said well i you know you're stupid your grandma was right uh
if you don't drink you don't at – at the Onclusive Resort,
I wasn't interested in doing all the silly games they had.
I think on a lot of them you need to be a little liquored up to enjoy it.
And where we went, we didn't know until we got back,
but they are kind of known for gourmet food, and we almost starved to death.
Do you remember when I sent you the picture?
You almost starved to death?
What do you mean?
Because it was just too gourmet.
It wasn't real good.
Oh, it was like small portions.
One night I did notice one thing on the menu that I recognized
was a loaded baked potato, and I thought, here we go.
Daddy going to eat good.
And I sent a picture
to the kids. I could hold it in my finger. And they brought it on, you know, it's a plate that
big and they had the loaded baked potato, a carrot, and you know, and I'm like, yeah.
That's a bummer. Yeah.
Probably the nicest room we ever stayed in. They upgraded us once we got there and they put us in
like in a suite. And it was beautiful. And it's
just, it was different. Yeah. Well, I love the idea, especially when you're married of you pay
once and you're good. You don't have to think about it. I don't have to be like, Catherine,
are you sure? Like you're getting cheese. It's $4 for cheese. Are you sure you need that cheese?
Like, you know, all that kind of stuff. Like you don't have any of those conversations. So there's
no like micro arguments with your spouse. And there's no decision on, She, like, you know, all that kind of stuff. Like, you don't have any of those conversations. There's no, like, micro arguments with your spouse.
Yeah, and there's no decision on, hey, where do you want to eat tonight?
Right.
All right, well, we signed up for the main dining hall.
I mean, it's at 530.
That's what time we have to be there.
Yeah, and I—
And then you can't make a decision on what—
One night, we could not make a decision on the dessert.
They said, oh, we'll be right back.
They brought us one of everything.
They just filled the table.
Yeah, because why not?
Yeah, make it happen.
And then Trish and I are cruising.
I mean, we will play every trivia game.
Yeah.
I mean, I've taken dance classes, which I wouldn't do in Stratford.
You couldn't pay me.
Yeah, but there's something about it.
Yeah, something about it.
We cut loose on a cruise.
International waters, baby.
That's great.
And this cruise we've got coming up.
So Jake and Rachel, Caitlin and Brayden, Steve and Angie Coop, Paul, Shira, and his wife.
And we've been on a couple of cruises with them.
Coach, Angie, Steve-O.
Okay, Steve-O's making it.
So there's 13 of us.
Okay.
And the first night I got talking to Trish about this, when it finally got, I got emotional.
She's like, what?
Yeah.
I mean, I get, I'm emotional every day.
Nobody cries more than I do.
How did, by the way, can we just take a stop?
Like, how does Trisha react to you getting emotional?
Does she kind of just roll her eyes at you?
Like the last five minutes of Undercover Boss.
Like what's she thinking?
Like going, I wish I'd have married a man.
Because I cry.
It would have been nice to have a man in the house.
I'm the more emotional one in our marriage as well.
And sometimes I'm just like, do you just like think I'm not like really, I'm just feeling everything.
So therefore it's not that big of a deal when I get emotional.
Like, you know what I mean?
We've only been married 35 years.
So I haven't had the chance to ask her yet.
I don't think I want to know.
Yeah.
And she wouldn't tell me the truth anyway.
But like looking at her, does she just like, here goes Steve again, just crying?
Crying about the cruise.
Or does she seem like, yeah, excited for you to be excited about this cruise?
Younger, I used to be embarrassed about it.
Yeah.
Just because, I mean, seriously, I can watch a good commercial on TV and I go, oh, that
was good.
That was a cute dog.
Like Dumb and Dumber crying at the Folgers commercial.
I just, you know, and so now, I mean, now it's a joke with us all the time.
Did it happen once you had kids or have you always been emotional?
Always been emotional.
Always so.
It's really ramped up for me after having had it.
Like I was a baby, I cried like a baby on my wedding day.
Like just when she was coming down the aisle.
Oh yeah, I was just crying like crazy.
But like then once you have kids, I feel like then that was when the movies and everything
started being emotional. But neither one of my kids are emotional, you know? I mean, yeah.
Jake's gotten more emotional. Would you say? I would say, I feel like I've, uh, gained like
just emotional intelligence, even with like knowing what my own emotions are, like being
more empathetic towards other people. But I still feel like definitely more like logical than emotional.
But yeah, I got emotional talking about that cruise that first night.
Trish goes, why?
And I said, because a cruise is my favorite vacation.
If you said pick one form of vacation you want to go on,
it would have been a cruise.
And then if you say, you pick the group of people you want.
I go, other than having Elvis Presley on the cruise, this is my dream team.
You're all-star.
And I just, oh, I can't wait to see Steve Koop on a cruise.
I can't wait to see him chewing a kid out because a kid butt in front of him
at his slide.
Because you know him and John.
You and Rachel got talking to your gay uncles at the wedding.
And I guarantee both of them are so excited to go down the water slide.
And I mean, they'll be the only two adults on it, but I mean.
They're such kids.
Oh, and Steve just got a motor.
I mean, he doesn't stop.
It's true.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
It's going to be so much fun.
I am really looking forward to it.
All right, we've got some questions here,
and then we'll wrap up this episode.
A couple rapid fires should be easy.
How long have we been going for?
I don't know, 50 minutes maybe?
All right.
If Jake was a girl, what would you have named me, her?
It.
If I was a girl.
Oh, I don't remember.
I know for Caitlin, it was terrible.
You've gone through it. I mean, you'd pick a name. You'd go, oh, no, I went to second grade I know for Caitlin, it was terrible. You've gone through it.
I mean, you'd pick a name.
You'd go, oh, no, I went to second grade with him.
It's hard.
He used to lick the chalkboard.
Right, yeah.
Because I always liked the name Heather.
But Heather was my girlfriend before mom.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, you can't do that, Steve.
That seems pretty obvious.
I don't know.
This girl's just going to be a really successful, beautiful girl.
I wanted to name you Pamela Andersonerson but mom was like i think for you at that
time if you were gonna be a girl because we didn't know uh annette i think annette see that seems
different from what you told me i remember back then you told me that you and mom were big on like
we're gonna do simple names and they're gonna be like gender specific names like no taylors no logans no uh like nothing that could be no blakes
like jake that's a boy caitlin that's a girl i feel like logan and blake are like maybe not
anymore but they used to be like growing up those were those are boy names anyway yeah yeah and
they've kind of yeah they've changed i remember. Taylor, Aaron. Either way.
John Luke Cave said,
are trampolines a good anchor for a dog on a leash?
No.
No, not if it's a small dog, yeah.
I've seen a lot of questions about Jake's mustache.
Yeah, half the questions were about my mustache.
And the angle that you took was just a nice angle of the mustache.
It surprised me because I didn't know,
and I can't remember what video I saw with you of the stache. It surprised me because I didn't know, and I can't remember what video I saw with you
with the stache, but
when I first see it, I
dislike it a great deal.
Okay. And then?
But then I kind of get used to it.
It grows on you.
I could grow one. I know that.
I don't know how I'm able to do this.
Rachel likes it, though. People think she's lying, but she was the one who was like, yeah, grow a mustache for Europe.
You know what, Rachel?
Rachel's too much like Trish.
She's not going to tell you.
I asked Rachel yesterday.
I said, are you more excited about seeing me or Taylor Swift?
And she said, it's a tie.
And I said, you've got to start telling the truth.
I'm not going to believe anything you say.
When Jake was 12, what did you think he would be doing as an adult
for a job or career?
Actuary.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Some module.
I knew it wasn't
going to be anything fun.
Yeah, right.
Just the most boring ones.
Let's see.
You debated everything.
We thought you'd be
a phenomenal lawyer.
I still think that'd be fun.
I'm down to take the LSAT here in a few years. He debated everything. We thought you'd be a phenomenal lawyer. I still think that'd be fun. I'm down to take the LSAT here in a few years.
He debated everything.
If you said something, he would debate it.
Is that what you mean?
He'd tell you how you were wrong and why you were...
And I'd have to get on to him.
I'd go, hey, you've got to let it slide
or you're not going to have any friends.
We've said the same thing to Hattie.
Because Bo sometimes, I think, is trying to...
No, Bo, the sky is blue. No, Hattie, it Hattie, because Bo sometimes I think is trying to like, no Bo, the sky is blue.
No, Hattie's green. It's green. It's like, Hattie, you know, you're right. Just let it go. Like I
was, cause we had said that we're like, no, one's going to be your friend if you just, yeah.
That first one. It does seem like me as a kid and Hattie as a kid are pretty similar.
Yeah. A lot of similarities. Um, what was your dad like? Does the humor span three generations?
I think it's very easily dad's the funniest one in the family.
Yeah, it seems like it's always been passed down.
It seems like a genetic thing that gets passed down.
And yeah, he's a great storyteller.
Always loved making people laugh.
And he's never the center of attention.
My dad's always one that gets the little one-liners in there
that just will make you cry laughing.
But it sounds like the stories you told me back in the day, like he definitely like sought out making people laugh, maybe not on a stage level like I do.
But he would do these like improv scenarios with you, like going to the bathrooms and stuff.
Well, dad would always just try to catch me off guard.
And so, you know, when I was younger, middle school, high school, we'd go to Branson a lot, go to the shows down there.
Branson?
You know, we'd walk into, there'd be intermission,
and we'd be in the bathroom together, and he would kind of separate from me.
And then he'd come back, and he'd go, you know, he'd call me a certain name.
And he'd go, hey, now are you still quarterback out of Oregon? And I just knew
my dad would have been very disappointed if I wouldn't have gone on. And so one day we were
walking in Branson and he goes, hey, you want to walk in the Presley Theater without a ticket?
I go, let's see you pull this off. He goes, follow me. And so we walk in and there's people
working and dad starts describing what it was like building that. He goes, follow me. And so we walk in and you know, there's people working and dad
starts describing what it was like building that. He goes, oh, I remember that beam up there.
Charlie, oh, Charlie couldn't get that bolt in. But anyway, we got the engineers on it. And I mean,
we walked right in. Really? At a Branson show. So intermission at Branson shows, they always
introduce people that are well-known. They used to always introduce my Uncle Doc because my Uncle Doc played on the Springfield Jubilee
and with Porter Wagner and stuff and was quite well-known.
Yeah, we randomly have a bunch of musical talent just in this little pocket of our family.
No one else has it, but like on his side of the family.
We were at the Baldwin Arbors one night, and he had, at intermission,
my mom introduced as a former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
I mean, just, and he was just so dry humor. And she would go along with it?
Well, there's nothing you can do. I mean, once he throws that out there, I mean,
you've got to go along with it. And so, but yes, he was just, everybody in our family is funny.
Like Uncle John.
John's funny, but in a weird way.
Because John will say things like going,
Well, sometimes it seems like John's not trying to be funny,
and he just is saying the way he says stuff.
Or like the way he laughs at himself just gets me every time.
My sister is very funny.
I used to always think Kate was funnier than Jake.
I just always thought Kate had a little bit of pride.
She was a little too like, yeah. She's not going to put all that out
on the internet. But dad's definitely the funniest.
Yeah. Honestly,
having the bachelor party and having you guys all meet my
uncle and my dad, it was
like, okay, I thought I had a pretty funny family.
It's good to see people confirm it.
I don't know. I'm sure everyone thinks their dad's
hilarious. My uncle says the
craziest things.
All right. Next question from Abby. Favorite brand of bologna? I don't know. I'm sure everyone thinks their dad's hilarious. My uncle says the craziest things, and it is probably true.
All right, next question from Abby.
Favorite brand of bologna?
Favorite brand of bologna?
The cheaper, the better, Abby.
Don't give me the all-beef bologna.
I want all-meat bologna.
That's why they just take whatever.
It's all meat.
Seriously.
It's all meat.
Like hot dogs. I still love a hot dog on a grill. I's all meat. Like hot dogs.
I still love a hot dog on a grill.
I love a hot dog on a grill.
And we buy the all-meat hot dog.
And Trish has bought me the all-Angus hot dog.
And I go, don't.
They don't taste good to me.
I want the beak.
I want the liver. I mean, I want it all in there.
Yes.
Cheaper the better.
Billy asked, if I was going to be a professional athlete,
what sport would you have wanted it to be?
Oh, I'd want to have been in the NBA.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be awesome.
That's where you probably had the most talent.
Now looking back on it, seeing that I'm only six foot
and your mother's 4'11 and three quarters,
NBA probably wasn't the best.
And that is one thing I look back on and go,
why did you have him in football, basketball, and baseball?
Why didn't you have him in tennis, bowling, and soccer?
But you wouldn't have wanted to go watch him do those things, would you?
Soccer, no way.
That sounds terrible, doesn't it?
All of them.
Bowling, tennis.
Bowling sounds bad.
Come on, Jake.
Just like, very good, Jake.
Okay.
Uncle John was an elite junior bowler.
Never knew that until last weekend.
I never heard that either.
Yeah, traveled.
Junior bowler?
Traveled?
Bantam weight.
Bantam class.
Not bantam weight.
Bantam class.
Bantam weight classes.
But yeah, it was called the bantam.
Yeah, I mean, he was quite the bowler.
That's funny.
Didn't he also play baseball?
He played Division I football. Football, that's right. Football, he's aler. That's funny. Didn't he also play baseball? He played Division I football.
Football, that's right.
Football, he's a stud.
Yeah.
Gosh.
How come Steve-O wasn't more athletic?
Orton, yeah.
Neither one of them.
He took that after Angie.
He took it after Angie.
Angie.
Joan asked,
how are his knees in such good shape
to be squatting all the time?
She was at Grande Boo.
I think she got to see you squat.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I don't like standing.
More fun to be down low?
Yeah, they all make fun of me.
Yeah, I like sitting down.
I like squatting.
But you are just like –
Kind of flexible.
It feels like what Jake is going to be like when he's 65, 67.
You know, it is crazy.
I don't have an ACL in my left knee.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
I tore it my sophomore year, and back then it's just tough enough.
Oh, wow.
A long time ago.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, I had some knee problems about 10 years ago,
and I went and had an MRI done on it.
And he goes, you don't have an ACL.
And so when the kids were young, like when we would play football,
whoever I was playing defense against
could only run a fly pattern or a curl pattern
because I can't go left or right.
Right, no lateral.
That's what I always say.
I don't go lateral.
It was kind of boring for the poor,
but I'm like, that's all you can do.
I mean, I can't go back and forth.
Yeah, fastball or changeup.
There you go.
Ross asks, this is kind of a trivia question,
what does it mean to dap someone up?
D-A-P.
I have no idea.
Give us a guess.
If you had to do it to Brad right now.
I'll give you a hint.
You can do it to Brad from where you're sitting.
I would say compliment.
Yeah, dap me up.
I have no idea.
No, dap me up.
You're a fine-looking man.
Thank you.
Thank you for the dap. You can see yourself dapped. Did I dap you? I've been dapped. I'm a dapper. You're a fine looking man. Thank you.
Thank you for the dap. You can see yourself dapped.
Did I dap you?
I've been dapped.
I'm a dapper.
Yeah, you're a very dapper man.
Savannah, what's...
Oh, dapping is like when you shake someone's hand like this.
Or is it?
You want to dap me up now?
I don't believe that.
Savannah says, what's his job?
No, actually said, what his job?
What his job be?
What his job be?
Hey, dap me up.
What your job be?
My job? What your job? Your What your job be? Hey, dab me up. What your job be? My job?
What your job?
Your job.
I'm a food salesman.
Sell food.
Food sales and dapping up, baby.
People wanted an update.
If you've had any fights since the last time you were on the podcast.
No.
No more fighting.
No more road rage.
No more fighting.
Trish doesn't like me talking about the fighting.
I think it's kind of cool that you've won so many fights. Oh, the
kid that beat me up died last week.
So I'm back undefeated, baby. Bring it
on, Timmy. Bring it on,
baby. No one to be afraid of.
So it's funny. So
I ran into Timmy.
I ran into
Tim probably about
a year ago,
and it was after we'd talked on the podcast about me getting whipped once.
And so I ran into him.
I said, oh, my gosh, Tim.
I said, you know, I was telling him about the story,
and I said, do you remember it?
And he's, you know, he's just, he's going, I don't.
I go, please.
I go, I remember every punch thrown in that. I go, if your sister wouldn't have broke, you would have still been beating me.
I go, yeah, yeah.
So don't have that to worry about anymore.
Walk around a little more cocky.
I've been sleeping a lot better last year.
Do a couple more.
Laura Wilhite wants to know,
she would love a review of the Springfield Buc-ee's.
What do you think of it?
Shoot.
No, I, you had.
What the?
No, I was going to. Dang it no I was I was going to
dang it crap
I was gonna stop
at Bucky's
and buy a bunch of stuff
oh
shoot
damn it
you know we're getting one
it might be a year or two
I don't know how soon
it's gonna be here
but up at
Kansas City Kansas
let's get one
it is funny
Trish is a homebody
once she gets home
from work
she does not go out
and opening night of Bucky's she goes hey you wanna go to Bucky's what are we doing sitting around the house I know Trish is a homebody. Once she gets home from work, she does not go out.
And opening night of Bucky's, she goes, hey, you want to go to Bucky's?
What are we doing sitting around the house? I know, and I thought, oh, as much as how terrible that sounds,
she never asked for anything.
So we went to Bucky's shoulder to shoulder.
It is terrible.
I love their brisket sandwiches.
All meat or all brisket?
No, that's all brisket.
Get the slice. If you get the chopped brisket, you got a lot of fat in there. A lot of fat. Okay. Somebody said out of the
pastry section, they've got a thing called, I think it's called the beaver tail. Didn't like
that. All beaver? All beaver, no tail. Didn't like that. You had their Beaver nuggets? I have not.
The only thing I've got there is, yeah, the sandwiches.
And I mean, I stopped there now just, we're only about four miles from there.
So I do get gas from time to time there, but I haven't been inside it.
Well, yeah, I know that like you go to a gas station pretty much every day to get your-
I used to.
I quit drinking pop.
Did you?
Yep.
Wow.
Because of No Sugar Jake? You a little motivated by him? No.
We went on the cruise because I'm
a tightwad. It all revolves around the cruise.
Every decision, every motivator is
cruise-based. The last cruise we went on was
in the first week of March,
I think. Smart. Not a lot going on during
that time, yeah? It was spring break
and we went out of Fort Lauderdale. We were scared to death, but it wasn't bad. But what did you say? Mom came in
second place in the wet t-shirt contest? I did tell Trisha, go, what were we thinking booking
this cruise out of Fort Lauderdale on spring break? And so we're talking one night, go,
either you're in a wet t-shirt contest or I'm judging one. Pick whichever one you want. But so yeah, this
non-alcoholic drink package was going
to be, I think it's like 20 bucks
a day. You know what, I'm not paying
140 bucks for
and so Trish goes, well, why don't you
start drinking coffee? So I started, I'm
a coffee drinker now. Are you? Macy Roasters
only. It's the only thing I've drank.
You go to Common Grounds in Stratford or
what do you do? I drink? I just drink black coffee.
Wow.
You went straight from Diet Dr. Pepper for the last 50 years of your life to just black coffee?
That's crazy.
Here's my reasoning on that.
See, you've got this cruise coming up.
Well, yeah, we've got a cruise coming up.
No, Trish drinks coffee.
She fills her cup halfway full, then she buys it's like snickers
brand uh creamer it's the chef's mate creamer yes we're putting us in the poorhouse on that
so she fills up the other like a ton of oh yeah so that's where jake gets his sweet tooth from
yeah but when i don't but i told her like so, Lord, when we went on the cruise.
It's all cruise based.
But no, we went out and they didn't.
All roads lead back to the Royal Caribbean.
No.
It all ties together.
So when we went on, they didn't have the creamer that she liked.
So she didn't drink coffee.
And I go, so I'm just going to learn to like black coffee.
I mean, and then, boy, everyone smells like a skunk though.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, the wrong kind of black coffee is not good.
Is that what you mean?
Or like, yeah.
So, but I've just been drinking it since March.
So, but yeah, it's allowed me to get off the pop.
And so, yeah, the other day I did go in the convenience store and they were all worried about me.
Yeah.
Because they used to see me two, three times a day.
Well, that's why I figured they were just like, he's another victim to Buc-ee's.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure those people are going out of business
and maybe not. Who knows? I don't know.
I really don't go into Buc-ee's.
Sorry, that was a long question.
That's the Buc-ee's review. There you go,
Laura.
Cheap gas, though.
I've had all this time. Oh, here we go. Just feel free to tell any
story. Sarah says first car, car stories, car accidents, anything. Never had a car accident.
What was your first car? 1974 Chevelle. Sounds nice. Bought it for $450. Sheesh.
But back then that's when – and I really wish –
because in high school, we all had cars jacked up.
You had the big wide tires on the back.
You just don't see that anymore.
I still think it's cool, but that's probably because that's the age I grew up in.
I can still remember shopping for Jake's first car after the truck went out on you.
So he had a –
A little farm truck, hand-me-down.
And we went out car shopping, and we drove two cars that were... I don't even remember what they were, but they were a two-door kind of sport car.
And then he decided on a four-door car.
Okay.
I'm going, who am I?
He's too logical.
He's like, well, I can fit way more of my friends in here.
I go, we would have made so much.
We would have beat you up if you would have showed up at a high school parking lot with a four-door car.
And he goes, I can get more friends in here.
And that was his reasoning.
And I thought, ah.
Yeah, bigger trunk space so I can fit my football and baseball stuff in here.
Yeah, so, yeah, 74 Chevelle.
Oh, love that car.
What's been your is that your favorite?
What's been your favorite car you've ever had?
You got one that's just like, that was, that was a cool one.
I don't care about cars.
Okay, not really into it.
All right, we'll do a last question.
If you could tell your 25-year-old self anything, what would it be?
25.
25.
You've had Jake by this time, correct?
You've been married, and I'm a one-year-old.
Wow. Take us back. Take us back, Steve. You know, I wish I had some wisdom.
That's a tough question to answer, especially on the fly.
You know, what kind of person were you as a young newlywed man slash new father? Like,
do you remember struggling with Jake or struggling with,
we were scared to death to bring him home from the hospital.
Yeah.
Uh,
I say we,
I was,
I'd never been around kids.
Right.
I,
I tell people all the time,
the only reason we brought him home is because we didn't have enough money.
I'd have raised him in the hospital.
You know,
that,
that first drive home is terrifying.
Yeah.
It's like,
okay,
it's just,
we just do it by ourselves now.
Where were you guys at financially at the time?
I think
net worth was about $11,
$12. That's what I thought you told
me previously. We couldn't afford a day
of non-alcoholic beverages on the cruise, I'll tell you that.
We found an old checkbook.
And this was when we first
got married. We'd been married a year.
And back then, I
still balanced a checkbook every day and everything. And it was nothing to have $1.72. Yeah. $5, you know.
That's what you had in your checking account? Yeah. It's like $5. And we didn't have savings.
I mean... And you were a year into marriage? Yeah. Wow. So Trish and I both graduated with a college
degree in 1989. And back then the economy was not good.
I mean, you had to know somebody to get a job.
We both got out of college making $3.25 an hour.
That's a lot.
Student loans.
Student loans.
But I used to always tell the kids there's nothing wrong with being poor,
but you need to have goals to work hard and not be poor.
I mean, because life's a little bit easier when you're not poor.
But, you know, some of the fondest memories I have, first being married, when we moved into the duplex, and it was in a rough area town, we didn't have the money for an entertainment center.
So Trish found some boxes and wrapped them in a pink bed sheet.
And we had three different size boxes.
And we were so proud of that.
We called my mom and dad and said, you've got to come over here and take a look at that.
Check it out.
I mean, we were happy because she thought, oh, let's wrap this box in a sheet.
And we thought, and then I remember one day she was doing laundry, and she found a $5 bill.
And I'm telling you, it was party on.
And I've told the kids a story.
I don't remember what we did with the $5, but, I mean, it changed her night.
Right.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
It's fun.
And Trisha just, you know, she's easy to get along with.
So I get on to her every once in a while.
I'm going, you know, every once in a while,
I'd just love for you to just go off on me.
Just get mad.
I know I've got to make you mad.
You know, I mean, playing with the ring again, going to lose it.
He drops it about once an episode.
You have got to get on to me.
I go, I would love it just one time, but no, she doesn't.
No, I really don't have any advice.
Be happy.
Be happy.
Figure it out.
All right.
Before I leave, I do have to brag on Brad.
I'm going to get on to you for one little thing
because you have no idea how miserable you made my life.
I'm going to start with that, and then I'll brag on you.
A lot of the podcast listeners probably don't remember this, but it was, uh, had to be in the last year because after,
uh, Brad met my best friend of over 40 years, Paul Shira, Paul lives in San Diego. Yeah. Uh,
he's so, so he's like, he's like way younger than right? He's like probably 42, 43.
We've been best friends for over 40 years.
Really?
We're pretty rough on each other.
You've known him since birth.
So Brad makes a comment on the podcast is,
man, you know, your dad's friend looks 15 years younger than him.
And I gave Brad a pretty hard time about it then.
Paul has taken that sound clip, and that is his ringtone.
And he is the head of a missions board, and I called him the other day,
and I'll just keep reading until he answers.
He was leading a missions team, and he wouldn't answer it
because he wanted them to keep hearing it.
Listen to what he said.
Did you hear it the first time?
The second time he called, he just held up a finger and did this to him.
And so, yeah, you made my life so miserable.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hey, I was just trying to, you know, make him feel better.
You know what?
Let's be honest.
He doesn't, I mean, he looks young, but he's got a weird-looking face.
Give him a ringtone material.
Yeah, he's got like some squishy,
like he looks like he's like a deflated balloon or something on top of his shoulders.
I tell him he's the only skinny, fat guy I know.
Yeah, 100%.
That was the first thing I thought of when I saw the guy.
I love Paul.
And then the week after that was when Jake's win of the week
was meeting my wise old boyfriend.
You would have thought he had met Michael Jordan.
Great.
But no, what I got to brag on you about,
here a few weeks ago,
and you did not get the credit you deserved on this
because I waited to see if anybody commented.
Jake was rambling on about everything
that happened to him in New York.
And he said, within 30 minutes,
two people had asked me if I wanted to change my religion.
And all you said was, did you?
And I'm telling you what, I laughed at that.
I thought that was the funniest thing just because it was so quick.
So quick.
But it just went on, and I time it, didn't laugh at it.
I go, this is the best thing that was said on this podcast today.
Oh, my gosh.
I rewound it a couple times.
Did you?
Did you?
It's the little things that people sometimes, like at Gulf Shores,
we had a few different people that would be like,
Oh,
that one thing you said,
I'm like,
I don't even,
that's like a,
yeah,
two line or two word little thing that people just stick to.
So that's,
that's like,
that does kind of happen.
I was listening back to one of our episodes. I was listening back to the jingle where you,
you had time.
We're doing,
do you want to build a snowman?
And then you both told me a riddle at the same time.
And I got time and his riddle.
And there wasn't a single comment about that. I was like, that is one of the more impressive things I've ever done. I me a riddle at the same time, and I got Tymon's riddle, and there wasn't a single comment about that.
I was like, that is one of the more impressive things
I've ever done.
I answered a riddle I'd never heard before
while another one was being told to me.
I was like, give me one comment.
Come on, guys.
Just one.
One comment.
This is all improv.
I promise it's not staged.
Well, let's get on with our Saturday.
Go see you get on with your Wednesday.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for joining.
Thank you, guys. Say some nice things about Steve in the comments. He would appreciate it. Go see us later. You get on with your Wednesday. Thanks for listening. Thanks for joining. Thank you, guys.
Say some nice things
about Steve in the comments.
He'd appreciate it.
Just vote for me.
Vote for me,
but vote for Steve
in the comments.
Yeah.
Thanks for all the go-sees
for asking the questions,
and we'll see you guys
next Monday.
All right.
See you guys.
Love you guys.
Ghost from the Spotcast.
Ghost from the Spotcast.
Every Monday morning we're taking back Ghost from the Spotcast. All right. See you guys. Love you guys.