Ghostrunners - 82 - Stand Up at a Wedding
Episode Date: November 30, 2020Jake is back from touring and Brad has stories from Thanksgiving in Texas! Go Rockies Ghostrunners Christmas merch: https://bit.ly/399MXFu Become a Patron and get exclusive content from Jake & Brad:... https://bit.ly/2XJ1h3y Watch this episode on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3cQSPnw Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Jake, I don't know where I read this. Honestly, it was, maybe it was just on like some random
website that I was on, whatever. It doesn't matter. Uh, but it was a quote from Eleanor
Roosevelt. It's a very common quote, I guess that it just said, uh, do one thing every day
that scares you. Oh yeah. I've seen that quote. That's it. I thought about it. I don't think it's
a good idea every day. I'll be dead soon. Thank you. Like I was like, okay, the first couple of
days, maybe it'll be like, like I'm a little bit nervous sometimes to like call somebody like cold call a business and be
like, Hey, do you mind, you know, putting Ellis custom creations furniture in your locally like
handmade craft store or something like that's kind of scary. But after three or four days of that,
I don't think I'm gonna be scared of that anymore. I'm going to try to move on to something a little
bit crazier and three weeks in, I'm going to be jumping down the stairs for no reason. You know
what I mean? Like day two is when I fart in public with headphones going to be jumping down the stairs. Yeah. You know what
I mean? Like day two is when I fart in public with headphones in that's kind of scary. Yeah.
But then month two, it's like, let's see what a snake bite feels like. And I'm dead. Right.
I'll go hunting for those alligators out of Florida. What's the worst that could happen?
If I get on top of it, I really think it'll have trouble rolling me over.
I'm truly scared. Yeah. That's a great point. Eleanor.
Eleanor's dead.
And Franklin.
And Frank.
And Franklin, his husband.
And Franklin. Franklin the turtle
is dead. And Frank is dead.
And frankly, so
is her husband. I don't give a darn.
Let's do the jingle.
It's Christmas. Okay. That the jingle. It's Christmas.
Okay.
Every day that scares you.
That's funny. Oh, I think, I think this type B means that it's going down on some random thoughts.
Um, why me?
It's the two Midwest best friends eating fast food
on repeat
hey so come along
and let's have some
fun and go
go ahead
and get
on your feet cause it's the ghost runners podcast
every monday morning
with jake and jake and brad
the ghost runners podcast yeah Ghostrunners podcast. Every Monday morning with Jake and Jake and Bradley. Ghostrunners pod.
Ghostrunners pod podcast.
Yeah.
Nicely done.
Thanks.
It was a little quiet in the headphones today.
I, uh, yep.
Accidentally had the YouTube, uh, audio about three-fourths of the way full.
But, but it still But it still sounded nice.
Still sounded nice.
Hey, we'll fix it in post.
Fix it in post.
Will we, though?
Will we?
Yeah, let's just get that out of the way right now.
I uploaded, this is completely my fault, I uploaded the raw file of last week's episode.
I think many of you caught it.
If you listen early Monday morning, you definitely heard the full, full just raw yeah uncut which for the most part was fine it was just the
opening like what like 90 seconds we're just chatting and then what we have to redo the jingle
yeah multiple times yeah i didn't even want to listen to it i was gonna be so embarrassed
yeah so yeah that's my bad i did a uh try i very uh poorly attempted a jingle for the Halo theme song.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
And it didn't go too well.
So we put that on the Patreon for anybody who wants comic relief there.
And then we messed up the jingle the first time on What's Poppin'.
And then the third time, the jingle was a charm.
So we say we'll fix it in post.
Most of the time, we're joking.
That time, we actually were going to do that. 80 out of 81 times, we will fix it in post most of the time we're joking that time we actually were going to do that 80 out
of 81 times we will fix it in post but now you know that like that if you listen to that episode
you knew that was a completely raw like that was literally everything we talked about you did we
didn't add anything you don't have to wonder like yeah i wonder what they took out this week
not a whole lot nothing at all not a whole lot oh oh which is totally fine but yeah yeah we will fix it and post this week
um how was your week brad we haven't recorded in a long time oh long time it feels like forever
it is saturday night and we obviously come out with this on mondays yes usually we record
the previous monday or like basically a week in advance and so we're cutting it close this week
for justin our video guy yeah so if you see us on youtube.com just give us a quick shout out comment below for justin just j it's j-u-s-t-i-n it's kind
of a weird spelling but justin just um think of nike yeah and then think of in and out burger
yes but don't spell the in or the out or burger the whole motto of nike don't do that yeah just just in yeah yeah or just
put a letter in for just in that's as easy as we can make it in just in yeah just in you got it um
so anyway what was that noise hello hello hello isaac isaac wait isaac this is actually perfect
yeah come in here podcast so this is great.
This is professional.
I'm getting my sheets.
I'm sorry.
I'm getting my sheets?
I'm buying sheets.
I was cleaning my sheets.
Get your sheets together and get in here.
Come talk.
We just started recording.
I haven't written down this week because I was going to ask Brad about your head.
So can you guys tell that story?
Yeah, absolutely.
Come on.
Sit down.
You got to get in the microphone.
Take a knee. Take a knee. Sorry. Oh, down. You got to get in the microphone. Take a knee.
Take a knee.
Take a knee.
Sorry.
Oh yeah.
I got to get by the mic.
Okay.
So yeah, we were together.
It was after you left to take your friend Lorna to the airport last two weeks ago.
Lorna dog.
And we were watching some football and Isaac went to the restroom.
Yeah.
I took a dump.
He went to the restroom in my house and he comes out and
he's like, dude, Brad, like I'm, I need your help. I need your help. I was like, Brad, I'm going to
need you to take a look at something real quick after you just got it from the bathroom. And so
I was like, dang it, Isaac, you clogged my toilet. Which if we, if you know my toilets in my house,
no, they are like the airplane toilets. Like've seen jet stream there's toilets and lows that
they advertise can flush eight pool right pool balls yeah that's what your toilet is we've tried
yeah it works i'm now missing most of my billiards balls but it was worth it so i was like dang it
isaac like out of all people of course you clog my toilet like no one's ever done this no one ever
will and that's not what happened so isa, tell them what happened. That's not what happened.
I get out and I show
Brad my head
and my hand. And my hand is covered
in blood. You show Brad your head and your hand?
I show him my
hand. It's like the first scene
of my head. I'm going to need you to take a look
at something. I was like, I kind of
hit my head after I was
done using the bathroom and
my head is now bleeding a good amount.
Yeah.
I'd gotten done and I stand up and in Brad's bathroom, there's this cabinet on the wall
and I just drilled my head on the quarter of the cabinet.
You were fired up.
You just got in pooping.
You're like, yeah, it was awesome.
Yeah.
Let's go.
I stood up real fast and hit my head on the floor.
Only one voice.
Yes. Yeah. The best. Yeah
I've done that once but not as hard as Isaac. Yeah, how hard did you like launch off the ground?
Every way possible
Yeah, I don't know it was an explosive trip to the toilet all around okay, so you're very bloody You've got your head in your hand. Yep. What are you thinking, Brad? I honestly, I'm just like, well, first of all, I just thought I
need to talk. I need to get Catherine in here. Catherine, Catherine's putting Catherine,
Catherine will fix everything. Yeah. So Catherine's putting Hattie to bed and she's reading to
him and I'm like, Hey, uh, can you finish up with that really quick? We have kind of
an emergency. She's like, what? I was like, Isaac, like cracked his head open and he's
bleeding out everywhere. He's bleeding out. She just goes, Oh gosh. Yeah. I kind of an emergency she's like what i was like isaac like cracked his head open and he's bleeding out everywhere he's bleeding out she just goes oh gosh she like kind of rolled her eyes
oh gosh okay just of course of course tonight right she like just yeah and katherine came in
and looked at it because i couldn't see it at first like yeah i mean it was in like covered
by my hair it was my head so you can't really tell how big is the gash how big is this laceration
is it going to need staples?
Is it going to need stitches?
Right.
Or is it all right?
And so Brad and Catherine are looking at my head trying to determine whether or not I
need to go to the hospital right away.
Yeah.
And get this thing fixed up.
And Catherine, I was more like, I think you'll be OK.
You know, I don't know.
Yeah, I couldn't really feel it.
I was like, I don't think it's too bad.
It's not bleeding fairly quickly.
And of course, Catherine's like, I think I would just check it out just in case she was more safe
on the safe side. So anyway, we had, you have a friend. Yeah, I've got a friend who works in
the ER. And so we sent him a video of my head and was like, Hey, not sure if you can tell by the
video, if, um, this is going to need stitches or staples. I like the idea of you sending him a
video of you recreating it. Okay.
So here's how it happened. My pants were down on my ankles and I stood up like this
and I hit my head. Do you think that would, do you think I would need staples? Yeah. Here's
the corner. It's pretty sharp. Well, here's a question. Did you, I haven't asked you this yet.
Did you like go down to grab your pants? And so your head was like way down by your feet
and then you came up because that's like way more more of momentum than if you're right because like because like the the shelf itself is like on the other side
of the wall it's obviously on the wall yeah it's one fluid it's a small bathroom but it's not like
yeah standing up while pulling my pants up so it was like right really it's like a box jump
i did i have done that once and it hurt like the dickens i'll tell you that right now uh
yeah so that makes sense it way more than just like going like that. Like that's nothing. I'll,
I'll do that all day on my cabinet all day, but yeah, coming down, I don't know.
And so what ended up happening? Um, so we sent the video, I get a text back from
shout out Dr. Kramer, Dr. Kramer. Thank you. Yeah. He's like, yeah, you're going to need to
come on in to the hospital and we'll have to get you some staples luckily he was in the hospital at the time so he's like come on in let the front
desk know that you're here to see dr kramer nice fixed up vip at the hospital vip at the hospital
i mean i've spent hours and hours on end in the emergency room on a sunday night and i was in and
out in 15 minutes red carpet four sta Four staples later. Four staples.
Dr. Kramer.
They're still in there.
They were supposed to come out like six days ago.
Okay.
I should probably get the...
Should we do it right now?
My mom actually did try on Thanksgiving.
She tried to get tweezers and tried to take them out herself.
Did she?
Yeah, it didn't work.
Really?
I was going to say, that seems like it would not be pleasant.
Just yanking on your head?
Yeah, I don't think it's going to work. You should treat it like an eight-year-old with a loose tooth like all right
we're gonna tie a little string around it to the doorknob yeah you hold still i'm gonna slam it
shut anyway yeah it's a good time yeah hopefully sunday won't be the same tomorrow yeah yeah
yesterday be careful pooping yeah yeah yesterday, we always talk like it's today.
Yeah.
It's too confusing.
Yeah.
We don't, we don't try to do that thing.
Too confusing.
Did you hear, speaking of tomorrow slash yesterday, kind of confusing.
Okay.
The Cowboys, apparently all their quarterbacks.
Broncos.
Broncos.
All their quarterbacks are on the COVID list.
So they're starting to go.
And the NFL won't postpone the game.
They're making them play.
How is that happening?
It's great.
It gets the Saints. Because that happened to the Ravens earlier this season, but the game they're making them play how is that great it gets
the saints because that happened to the ravens earlier this season but the nfl postponed it for
them well having like thursday for the ravens right yeah the ravens are getting all sorts of
special treatment and the steelers are not and clearly the broncos are not so anyway uh i cannot
believe that the broncos won that game against the saints yeah because clearly you guys know and we
don't and i was i pumped that I put $100
on it because I ended up winning
$19 million. Yes, a million dollars
even. Wow, that'll get you a lot of cheddar.
Yeah.
All right, Isaac. Well, thank you for
joining us. Thank you for the staple story.
Any other wisdom? Words of wisdom?
You don't have to. Wash your bed sheets.
Oh, good.
Periodically. This is my second time washing them since I've lived here.
Oh, no.
So that's not a lot.
But you did it.
I did it.
I did it today.
So I'm going to sleep well.
It's going to feel good with your bloody staples.
Once every five and a half months.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Dude, speaking of not bad, we've had long days.
We've had long weeks.
We've had long days, especially.
You drove, how long today um actual yeah it was like nine hours that's a lot maybe yeah it was not easy i only did about half that drive but uh drove about four and a half hours
today but also filmed a wedding yeah and it was an interesting one i want to hear about it there
is there's some stuff that i i probably shouldn't say and i can tell you afterwards though tell me their last name and their first name and uh their
middle name definitely gotta keep their names out of it but yeah there's some stuff okay we're just
probably too too much gossipy sure to tell okay um but here's some stuff that's not okay uh so
speaking of not bad there was just like four different interruptions during the ceremony
like just awkward like things being yelled from the crowd, like we're at an improv show. Oh. And one of them was just during the vows. Some guy goes,
not bad. It's like, what do you think you are right now? Well, set up the scene for me. What
kind of, are we at a church? Are we at a field? Here's something. Yeah. Outdoor. Okay. November
28th. Yeah. Basically December. Yeah. Was not prepared for that. That's cold. That's chilly. Very frigid.
Yeah.
And, um, yeah, maybe he was cold.
He was trying to wrap it up or something.
I don't know what prompted him to do that.
Like everyone just kind of looked at him like, what are you saying?
I don't know if he had a stroke or what.
It wasn't like a, it wasn't like an informal, like the, the officiant was not making jokes
the whole time and stuff.
Like wasn't encouraging the goofiness.
No, not really.
Officiant was having a tough time keeping it together. In way uh crying oh okay emotional efficient okay uh but yeah not bad
all right okay it might be your first time at a wedding um another fun fact about uh let's see
where do i want to start with this okay so before uh the ceremony starts everyone's in the seats
already and we the sun is like
setting.
So we've got some interesting lighting things.
And so the photographer is like, do you mind walking down the aisle so I can see you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
What the lighting is going to look like.
Like while everyone's there, everyone's sitting down.
I've never done this before.
Like I get why she asked, but boy, did it put me in a comfortable spot?
So everyone's there and I'm just, I'm just doing laps just up and down the aisle.
Oh, multiple times. She's like like can you go back and then stay when
you get in the middle stand there i think i might have them stand there i'm having to stand there
um then she's like all right can i have you out the altar now okay like i i think i got married
today yeah can i get you uh to bring some flowers down this time and just loosely drop them every
every few rows just loosely drop them yeah and can i hear you say well go ahead and just repeat after
me hi jake yeah i just do my entire vows um so that was funny when i got to the altar i was like
okay people have been staring me a while i just kind of started talking to him i was like hey um
yeah thanks for coming everybody uh we got a great show for you guys so you set the goofy
tone that's not bad guy dang it it's your fault i might have set the gt i didn't even think about
that that might have been my fault.
Yep.
I think so.
Another thing that made it slightly more awkward is I would say,
sorry,
just like it.
Let me,
I'm just imagining you like making that one joke.
Like it's going to be a great show.
And then people laugh and you're like,
Oh,
you like that,
huh?
And you're like,
you're like,
take the mic off the stand and you start doing your whole comedy.
So a dog moms,
huh?
Yeah.
Wasn't it with his wedding thing,
huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. start doing your whole comedy right so uh dog moms huh yeah what's the deal with this wedding thing huh yeah yeah yeah come on i do you do we all get it let's get to the bush lattes am i right
like you just like have a whole improv show up there i just love that i i just love the idea
of you being like oh these people think i'm funny well i got some new material i need to try out
before next week you know yeah i just wrote a wedding bit this seems like the place to do it
groomsmen they haven't groomed me yeah i don't see that huh bridesmaid what are they cleaning
i don't pay maids this much no i don't know you know you get it you want me not bad huh
this guy knows what i'm talking about. Come on, buff him up.
Anyway, sorry.
So you were in the, yeah, you were at the altar.
Ring bear.
Ring grizzly or polar?
Hello.
Polar?
Hardly know her.
More like bipolar.
My ex-wife.
Women are crazy.
And then you just get really serious. Like women are hard to trust.
Sometimes if you don't know them long enough,
like really get to know them before you get married.
Guys,
infatuation is real.
Infatuation is real.
They say it lasts four months.
I've seen it last longer.
I've seen it last up to 11 years,
guys.
Okay.
Just,
just have them checked out.
Show me the Carfax,
you know,
ask for the Carfax. They'll, they'll get it. You have know ask for the carfax they'll they'll get it
you have to ask really hard but they'll they'll figure it out and also um for the ladies still
listening who haven't walked out yet i mean those things are like ticking time bags you know just
you know just bags check them out yeah check them out sometime yeah so i did a i did a set
tonight i did about five minutes uh and uh I love that idea in Missouri. It was great. You're like, I might get fired from my video job,
but this is good. This is good. I'll go to Florida tomorrow. I gotta get this covered.
Oh man. Uh, okay. So another thing that made it just like slightly more awkward or maybe just
made me more, you got more stuff. I'm not thinking anything specific. I'm just, for whatever reason
that cracks me up, like the idea of you just being like, oh, I don't know.
Like just a little bit of encouragement and then just like postponing the entire wedding
because you just have a standup routine going on.
And people are like rolling over laughing like in the aisles and stuff.
I don't know.
Just the whole thing.
Anyway, sorry.
And now welcome to the stage, Brad Deuce!
Deuce, Deuce, Deuce, Deuce.
People, like, start ripping off their tuxedos.
It, like, says Deuce on it.
Like, Deuce!
Oh, man.
Deuce is loose.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so funny.
Dude, that actually reminds me.
Forget the wedding stuff for now.
Like, this week specifically, like, I would, I meant to like tell
you this, but we were just, we were apart all week. This is our first time being not apart.
That's right. I, I'm having a ton of fun on tour, but like, it gets me so excited for like us
someday, even if it's five, 10 years from now, like someday, like we're going to go on tour and
it's going to be so awesome. Like for one, it's just so hard performing by yourself. So that's
one aspect of it. And two, just like, Oh, it's just gonna be so fun. Like I one, it's just so hard performing by yourself. So that's one aspect of it. And two,
just like, oh, it's just going to be so fun. Like I, I just got fired up one night specifically,
like in Huntsville, I just stayed up like really late. Like a lot of it's just like,
not like writing things down, but it's like brainstorming. Just like what a ghost runner
show would look like. Yeah. Like, oh, just the jingles dude. The jingles would just knock the
socks off. Yeah. Oh, it'd be a? The jingles would just knock the socks off.
Yeah.
Oh, it'd be a goofy tone too.
We would set the goofy tone quick.
Such a goofy tone.
If we postpone our stardom long enough, we could have Hattie and Bo like perform with us.
Like they could be child stars.
They could be the ring bearers.
I think it'll be a lot like a wedding at our show.
That's yeah.
They get engaged with comedy.
We engage them.
We engage the audience.
To be married.
Yeah. I watched that episode yesterday. Oh, that's awesome though. I love, I love the thought of
this. Got me fired up. Oh yeah. Heck yeah. Okay. Anyway, the, the wedding, so I'm having to walk
up and down this aisle in front of people, but they're not as any people. Turns out I went to
like a Stratford wedding. Did not know this. How close was this to Stratford? Cause it was a ways
away from here. Two and like a half from here um one from like
springfield okay wow so kind of the middle so i didn't know the girl the bride who asked me to
film her wedding we had never shared any dms before i didn't really know anything about her
instagram's private she was like do you shoot weddings i was like yeah i've shot some okay you
want to shoot mine i said sure wow and then we it was like she's super chill like didn't ask anything
today it's been super great the whole time good and so i just kind of showed up and uh i start recognizing some people
or like recognizing like younger sisters of like okay one of my best friends in high school and so
i start piecing together i'm like oh all these people are like six years like they were in seventh
grade whenever i graduated there's no reason i should really know them sure but you like know
their last names or like oh yeah their siblings or siblings or something. Oh yeah. I sat down at
a table to eat dinner. I was like, do you guys mind if I sit here? Didn't know a soul, but
eventually knew all their last names. We're talking the Morton's the Myers. Oh, the Myers.
Yeah. Oscar. Yeah. Yeah. Oscar, you know, the other one. Uh, but the Myers actually,
she was a photographer and right off the bat, she was just like, wait, Jake, what?
I was like, triplet.
She's like, does the name, did you ever have a Mrs. Myers?
And I was like, yeah, she's like, that's my mom.
I was like, she taught me eighth grade science.
Yes.
Cool.
How's she doing?
That's fun.
So it was just kind of a fun night as far as like a lot of people knew me and were like,
it was a, it was a big night for my ego.
Let's just say that a lot of people knew about the limo trip when I asked questions.
That was fun.
Yeah.
Awkward walking in front of them before I got the chance to talk to any of them. Cause they probably knew you beforehand. So they're just looking at me. I'm aware that
they probably know somewhat of who I am, but I can't, it's a weird time to talk to them.
That'd be really fun. If some of them knew you as like the basketball star,
cause like when you were, no, no, hear me out. I'm serious. Cause in seventh grade,
at least in elementary school, I thought that the high school basketball players were like the NBA.
Oh, I did too. Like, I remember one time, uh, Scott and I were playing basketball in his driveway
and a ball went out into the street and he lived on a pretty busy street and Kurt Niebuhr had to
stop his car. Cause our basketball went in front of it. Yeah. He got mad at us. And we felt like
we were the lowest pond scum of the world. We're like, dude, Kurt Niebuhr is mad. He got mad at us, and we felt like we were the lowest pond scum of the world.
We're like, dude, Kurt Niebuhr's mad at us.
He's probably not going to play well this week.
You know?
Like, we ruined his day.
Wait, Niebuhr was your neighbor?
Niebuhr was, yeah, downstreet neighbor.
You had a Niebuhr neighbor.
Niebuhr neighbor.
Wow, that's awesome.
Niebuhr neighbor played basketball.
Was that supposed to rhyme or something?
I was trying to think of another spot, but it didn't work, so I just went with basketball.
Oh, that's funny.
All that at the Ghost Hunters show.
Come see us live.
Neighbor neighbor play basketball.
Oh my gosh.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So some of those guys might be like, seriously, like, oh, he was such a good shortstop.
Yeah.
That's a point guard.
A 20, 29, 20, 10 basketball team.
Yeah.
Seriously.
If you're out there listening to this, let me know.
Let us know.
If that's you.
Um, okay.
Last thing I'll say about the wedding and then we can close that chapter.
Uh, favorite part of the whole thing was the DJ.
Nothing better than like a below average wedding DJ.
Oh yeah.
It was awesome, dude.
Below average in everything or below average in music selection or getting the
people going?
His rigor was great.
He seems to have a lot of passion for what he does.
And I think someday he'll be a great wedding DJ.
He might just be a little new at it right now.
He's a young pup.
He's a young pup.
He's blossoming.
He's a young pup.
He's blossoming.
He hasn't been neutered yet.
So he runs a little wild.
Sure.
Yeah.
Outdoor wedding though.
Indoor reception. You're kidding. Yeah. A little hybrid. You can't do that with a young pup. yet okay so you know he runs a little wild sure yeah so outdoor wedding though uh indoor reception
you're kidding yeah a little hybrid you can't you can't do that with a young pup
young pup needs to roam you need to you know set up some sort of electrical fence and let him know
where the boundaries are sure you know you can't train him outside inside at the same time yeah
so one thing he does which i'm sure this is just like a quirk like i outside inside newer neighbor
never play basketball i say, I say a lot.
I do a lot of filler words and things that I don't consciously realize.
Yeah.
His thing is, uh, I'll just call it the McConaughey.
Every time he made an announcement.
All right.
All right.
All right.
We're going to do the, uh, first dance here.
Every time.
28 times tonight.
I heard.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Uh, that wraps up for the cake cutting.
So we're going to move on to the, you know, whatever. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. That wraps up for the cake cutting. So we're going to move on to the, you know, whatever.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Yeah.
What if we, what if you did see the different version of all right.
All right.
Every time.
Like first.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Then he was like, Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What do you say?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Every time.
Something different. Probably the hardest i left all night was when um
this is just a bad dj move he got everyone on the dance floor like people are you're are finally bumping for the first time it took a while to get people dancing sure they're finally out there
and then he's like all right we're gonna slow things down never slow it down yeah maybe ever
no i'm my theory is never but especially not like
when you finally got them on there yeah because we're gonna slow things down here so grab fellows
grab your lucky lady and you know all right all right all right the song he plays is love in this
club by usher which first of all so literally grab your lady grab her wherever you want uh
not a slow song or not a slow dance song no definitely a pop song
right and then the part you forget about during love in this club is the young jeezy verse
in it oh so people are trying to slow dance to see if i can do it it might hurt my voice
uh wait how's it go sexually physically mentally emotionally you be like a drug to me you take
every dose of me.
I'm just like slow dancing to that.
It's like, this is so weird.
Yeah, you got like the grandma and grandpa out there.
They're like, oh, we don't go out for very many,
but we can stand up for this one song.
We can do this one.
I don't know if that's what he said or not, Eugene,
but I think if it was, then we need to go to a different wedding.
Yeah, I knew they should have had it at a church.
This is what happens. This is what happens when you
don't get married under the steeples. You don't do it in a
church. That's right. I knew this would happen. I tell you
what, I don't think they're Methodist.
I don't even think they're Methodist. They say they are, but they're not.
They're not. They're not, Eugene. They're not.
And we need to pray for them, okay?
Lord Jesus.
Right there while sexually
emotionally he's going on.
Oh, man, that's funny. funny oh it was awesome i loved i
got a big kick out of that and this was like decently early like a decently early reception
i mean like six o'clock p.m they're playing this song yeah yeah this is with the slow song going
on yeah it's nice no keep it up keep it keep it high high energy the whole time maybe at the very
beginning do the slow songs.
But then after that, once you get it popping, keep it popping, baby.
Keep it popping.
Yeah.
I didn't hear, now I'm thinking more stuff.
I didn't hear Yeah by Usher all night.
I didn't hear Low by Flo Rida all night.
Nothing from the twins.
You're kidding.
The Yang Yang twins.
Right.
The ticking time bags.
I call them the twins.
Yeah.
Anyway, what were you going to say?
Sorry. That's enough wedding stuff. I'm done. I don't know what I was going to say. Okay. I think that the twins. Yeah. Anyway, what were you going to say? Sorry, that's enough wedding stuff.
I'm done.
I don't know what I was going to say.
Okay.
I think that was it.
Just keep it high the whole time.
Okay, gotcha.
The whole time high.
So, yeah.
So, I was in Texas this week.
Nice.
It was a good time.
Spent a lot of time with the in-laws.
My father-in-law and mother-in-law hosted us, and they just got a new...
I thought you were going to explain what in-laws were.
So, my father-in-law is the father of my wife and his dad we call him pops um and catherine's mom we call him honey call her honey uh they just renovated their deck you know they have like a
really nice big old deck yes let's not let's not go too far into that joke we get it yeah i have
never heard honey complain about it i'll say that never heard a complaint about the size of his deck
well they were they were trying.
Everything's bigger in Texas.
Should I make the joke?
Should I make it?
Let's make it.
Okay, let's go ahead and make it.
They were renovating the deck, and they tore it all down, and it took them forever to get it back erect.
Cut it out.
I don't want it.
I don't know if it's good.
I don't know.
It did.
They renovated it for a long time.
But it's back and it's good.
Good.
We're just talking construction.
Yeah.
So anyway, but his patio, if you will, has a kitchen, outdoor kitchen on it.
Okay.
And it's awesome.
It's got TV out there.
So we were spending almost all our time.
Because it's Texas in the fall, so it's like 55 degrees.
Nice.
I remember when I lived in Dallas, November in Dallas was perfect.
I loved November.
It was like September here.
It was nice.
Yeah, it was nice.
It was pretty mild.
And so we were out there watching football, having a good time.
That was fun.
Another highlight, Catherine's family is just very chill on Thanksgiving. They don't, we don't do a whole
lot of planned activities. It's mostly just hanging out and talking. You're not doing Easter
egg hunts. You're not pinning the tail on any donkeys. You know, you chill. Yeah. Um, and
Catherine's one of six kids and there's now five grandkids. And so it's just getting a little bit
more hectic in the house. And so it's just like, yeah, we're not going to plan anything.
Let's just hang out and be together.
So,
uh,
but before that,
right when we got there,
we drove down,
I drove with a trailer enclosed with some furniture,
custom made furniture.
Oh yeah.
Um,
custom made.
Wow.
That sounds nice.
Oh,
it's custom creations.
Yeah,
it was nice.
And so I'm here to say,
first of all,
first and foremost,
I will deliver to you if you live in the Dallas area or on the way to Dallas orallas or on the way to dallas yeah yeah we'll find you we'll find you there
so um yeah just anywhere in the oklahoma dallas you know region of life really kansas city too
i-35 sure yeah um so anyway we i delivered down to young gz did a number of i believe that when
you were doing it i was like he should have just done the words.
I should have done the words.
Not the impression.
Wow.
Okay.
Keep going.
I'm fine.
But I delivered a dining set and a little console table to Avery and Cole Cohen.
Avery Mack, if you will.
Return Avery Mack.
Return Avery Mack.
Hey.
And it was really fun.
It was really fun because not only did we get to hang out and like see this, you know,
I delivered this furniture to them, but also it was right when your live show was going on. And so we're like, let's watch the
live show together. This would be awesome. Um, and so unfortunately we missed part of your,
like the beginning or I missed it. She, she watched it. That's fine. Um, but it was, it was,
a, it was awesome because I delivered it and then I was going to stay for like a few, I
didn't know how long I was going to stay.
I didn't want to like make, force them to host me for too long.
Yeah.
But then it started pouring down rain.
Oh, like, like I think there were maybe some tornadoes or cats and dogs.
Yeah.
Real bad.
Okay.
We're about purrs and barks.
Okay.
And so I was like, now I'm definitely watching this thing.
Like, like they had to like turn up the volume on their soundbar all the way because it was
raining so hard. Oh, they have a soundbar turn up the volume on their soundboard all the way because it was rain smart.
Oh,
they have a soundbar.
They're doing all right.
Custom furniture.
Custom furniture.
They got a soundbar.
They're doing all right.
And so anyway,
but it was really fun.
I love acting like to do that.
Even just like with friends,
like the tiniest piece of like an upgraded technology.
Whoa.
Magnetic phone case.
Okay.
Those,
those headphones,
Bluetooth.
Whoa.
Straight to your two devices two devices really but you're glad you paid for that whoa leather seats in the 94 honda accord
huh you do the glass thing whoa not bad um so anyway it was in their living room watching you
guys and it was really fun it was obviously really fun to watch you guys anyway but it was double fun like watching with them cool a because somebody else was laughing alongside you. And it was really fun. It was obviously really fun to watch you guys anyway, but it was double fun. Like watching with them. Cool. Hey, because somebody else was
laughing alongside, you know, it was like, Oh, you think that's funny. I think that's really funny.
Um, and B cause everyone's wild. I'd be like, Oh, that's so funny. That's Jake. You know,
I would just try to give like little bits and that's awesome. Yeah. That sounds great. Um,
so it was a fun time. Uh, thanks for tuning in yeah man max slash Alice's yes appreciate it
Avery yeah the Coen's oh every Mac yeah but she goes by Coen's yeah thanks Coen brothers yes
true grit yeah so anyway that's really awesome thanks for like tuning in I appreciate it I think
as far as I know you might have been like my only friend to watch it so I appreciate that
my parents watched and my sister Connor Lamb watched did he. I think as far as I know, you might've been like my only friend to watch it. So I appreciate that. My parents watched and my sister, Connor lamb watched,
did he? But I think he, maybe he was watching more for Trey. He's watching at Trey's house.
Yeah. I mean, secondary watch. Yeah. Yeah, man. It was good though. I really enjoyed it. Um,
thanks. Tell me, tell me about it from your perspective. Just like the worst night I've
had all month. No, it was just why here's what I'll say off the top is that you've had all month no it was just why here's what i'll say off the top is that the worst night you've had
all month yeah really i think so you've had some good months i've had some good days good good
moons yeah um you know afterwards everyone you know dms wise like had nothing but good things
to say so i don't think i did a bad job but when you factor in like the last time we did a live
stream all we'd been doing
was sitting in our home for four months leading up to that. Sure. Nothing was happening. That was
the only thing on anyone's schedule. Trey and I schedule anyone watching. That was it. So it was
like so fun. Just like get up and do something. Yeah. This time, the two weeks leading up to it,
we've been performing for like really warm crowds and like filled up comedy clubs with like, you
know, low ceiling, small room, ton of people
excited to be there.
Right.
I mean, literally the night before we did a double header in Alabama.
Then we go to Nashville and then there's 30 people socially distance wearing mask in a
warehouse and I'm doing brand new material.
It's a warehouse.
I didn't realize that it is a giant warehouse.
That's tough.
So just like that common, all those things combined, you can imagine I'm not getting
the biggest laughs.
In fact, even people, there are people who are laughing, but I can't hear them.
Like, so as far as I know, I've gone up there and just done seven minutes worth of bombing.
Like, I'm like, this is awful.
So, so there were, there were multiple times where you're like, did not hear anybody laughing
while you said a joke.
Oh yeah.
Within the first 15 seconds, I knew it was going to be brutal because I did a couple
of jokes that normally like just opener jokes, just like these are hitting every night right you know i say a couple jokes
and i'm getting nothing i'm like oh but you can't do anything all you have to do is just stay up
there and just get through it just be like all right guys have a good night yeah yeah and trey
was you know we agreed we were on similar notes and just like okay and i don't want that to make
it seem like oh i did such a bad job it was awful i'm sorry if you ever bought tickets for it it's just like confidence wise it was just
detrimental it just made it seem like i did an awful job and it's not fun to be up there when
no one's laughing um but trey was like dude i appreciate what you do so much he's like because
i could tell like i was able to mentally prepare what i was getting myself into yeah he's like you
just have to get up there and you just you realize it when you're up there right so yeah you have no
idea that made me feel a little better.
And that's the same thing with opening and comedy clubs.
Most of the time I'm doing my set, waitresses are going around getting orders.
So it's like I'm up there saying, still Team Jacob, but the one from the Old Testament.
So does the nachos come with jalapenos or do I have to add those on?
No, Shirley Temple.
Shirley Temple.
Yeah.
Grenadine, please. No, I said Shirley.
She grew up in the temple. No, he's from Philadelphia. He went to Temple. Yeah. Grenadine. No, I said Shirley. She grew up in the temple.
No, he's he's from.
Yeah, he's from Philadelphia.
You went to Temple.
Big Don Chaney fan.
Yeah.
I'm like up there like I could.
Ma'am, they don't come with jalapenos.
I've heard her more clearly than you.
You have.
All right.
Just get that.
Yeah, you'll be fine without him.
Get it.
You're going to hate it.
All right, Stanley.
Peach iced tea.
Yeah.
It's like I can hear what they're ordering.
That's hilarious.
OK, now it just sounds like I'm complaining a lot. no no you're fine um no that's that's funny though
that's just a little behind the scenes of like doing a live stream well let's be real though
like on our end we can't hear the people like did the people the first time laugh very much
um i don't think so a ton i mean they might have but i think then i didn't have much of a radar
it's like i didn't have anything to expect because I will say like
we can't hear them even if they're
busting up laughing. I don't think they don't have like
mics on the crowd really. And so we can't hear
them. So no matter what
people watching at least like weren't gauging
they weren't like, oh, these people
laughed at this one, but not this one, right? No, we
couldn't tell all the time. No, like and so
that didn't affect us watching it at all.
That is nice to hear. So yeah. Yeah. And and like i said everyone was super nice about it i think people did enjoy it
but yeah just a mix of all those things and when we've been on the road performing i've been mixing
in new material to try and use for the live stream because you know the whole thing you don't want
people to pay for the same content twice you want them to come to a show and then pay for a live
stream like i already saw this right but all my new stuff has been working so then comes tuesday for the live stream like i got nothing so i wrote
a lot of it like that afternoon and i still felt good about it yeah but then when you're up there
no one's laughing you're like i suck oh i suck what was i thinking oh well yeah who knows man
i just feel like it's like you know how like you you go to chipotle you go, you go to Chipotle, you go to, you go to whatever, Raising Cane's.
Yes.
You go to Culver's.
Yes.
And then like your mom's like, hey, we're just going to stay home for dinner tonight.
I got beef stroganoff on, on the stove.
And you're like, beef stroganoff, it tastes okay.
It's not, it's not bad, but compared to Chipotle, Cane's and Culver's.
Like I know exactly what I'm getting.
It's going to be warm.
It's going to be fresh.
I'm going to get exactly how I want it. Right. Yeah. I got the stro I'm getting. It's going to be warm. It's going to be fresh. I'm going to get exactly how I want it.
Right.
Yeah.
I got the stroganoff tonight.
Beef stroge?
Yeah.
It's fine.
I've had some good moons, so this is my worst.
This is my worst meal of the moons.
I've been eating good this month.
Yeah.
That's kind of what it feels like to me.
Like, yeah, you still have a lot to be thankful for, obviously, but it's still like, compared
to all the rest of them, this is not my favorite.
You know?
It still tastes fine.
But.
One of my friends came to the show to support, and he's a and he like had a lot of, uh, nice things to say.
Sam Tootin, Tootin Brothers, Tootin Brothers, Tootin Brothers.
Oh, check out their band.
And he was just like, he's like, it would be so much easier to do this performing music
because you're not expecting anything.
You can kind of just get lost in the music.
You can just perform.
Yes.
He's like, dude, I can't imagine having to do that.
And I was like, well, that makes you feel better.
Thank you.
Oh yeah.
Cause music, music, you expect one reaction at the end of every song.
Like you can play a whole song and you can think people are enjoying this.
They're just not clapping because you don't clap halfway through a song.
Yeah.
But yeah, like you, if anything, you say not bad in the middle of it.
Yeah.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Oh yeah.
But that would do keep strumming doo keep strumming keep strumming
if anything yeah like you expect probably a laugh or interaction every 15 seconds you know
anyway that's it's interesting anyway i don't want to sound like i'm having a pity party or
anything that's just uh just an honest just like how it went for me that was that was your last
show before like so you're you ended on kind of a rough note.
Yeah.
And thankfully, the live stream was to be the last last show.
But Florida got postponed.
So thankfully, I get to redeem myself in West Palm, Naples.
So where are you going?
West Palm.
West Palm and Naples.
I don't know which city's first.
I don't know when we leave or whatever.
But this week.
Honestly, I don't know any of the non-sports cities
in California or Florida.
You could have said West Palm Beach,
and I'm going to California.
I'd be like, that's great.
I don't know what's what.
I think California.
Maple sounds Florida-y.
Yeah, California leans more Latino.
San Jose?
Okay, sure.
Yeah, I would have guessed that,
but I'm trying to think of other ones.
I don't know.
I can't think of them. Kissimmee. That's Florida. Okay. Because that's where Disney World is, I would have guessed that, but like, I'm trying to think of other ones. Like, I don't know. I can't think of them, but like Kissimmee, that's Florida. Okay. Cause that's
where Disney world is, I think, or something like that. That's Orlando. Well, what is Kissimmee?
Kissimmee is close. Is it? Oh, I do. I do. Kissimmee. I think I just got married to the
photographer. So altars, huh? Why aren't they called all Tims?
Hey, come on.
It's 2020.
Man, I could have done so many wedding jokes.
Yeah, you could have nailed it.
Totally missed out.
When you get married someday, you're going to just flood them in.
I've always said I don't like how the bride and groom don't talk at their wedding.
They're just robots.
They just repeat after other people.
My wedding, we're talking.
We're talking.
I'm doing a bit.
I'm doing a wedding bit. Perfect. She can have her time. We'll do an improv show. I don't know my wedding we're talking we're talking i'm doing a bit i'm doing a wedding bit perfect she can have her time we'll do an improv show i don't know but
we're talking to the audience it's so weird that you don't address the people at your wedding yeah
it's so weird to me that's funny baseball is finally back get in on major league action and
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offer conditions apply visit rbc.com slash avion okay uh anyway was it texas trying to think
of anything else oh i went to a uh we did we do one organized activity it was pretty spontaneously
organized but oh you guys are so oh zany we catherine's brothers and my brother-in-law me
we went to this they called it a pawn store at first. It was pawn shop. Sorry. Okay. Pawn store.
Ponzi Ponzi scheme is what they call it. Ponzi scheme. I had to bring three friends to the
pawn shop. Uh, but it was not really a pawn shop. It was a straight up gun store. Like it was like
there were, there was nothing but guns there. And talk about me being a fish out of water, bro.
Oh yeah. I don't know. Have you ever been to to one like i've been to like cabela's and stuff that sells guns like walmart i've been to a walmart i've been yeah
yeah that's i've never been to cabela's like i i don't i don't know anything i i i it'd be really
fun to do like prices right or something for guns for me i was so shocked at the prices of them like
there were pistols out there that were like 1800 pistols that's too much this little thing eighteen hundred what is this the golden gun yeah and then there were
there was like a ray gun and zombies yeah then they're like these big old shotguns that were
like 400 bucks oh it's a great deal how do you get that like that looks like it's whatever cope
you know whatever carbon fiber on there or something i don't know and then there were
like these uh suppressors kind of like a silencer looking thing cool those were like 800 bucks
they're they just looked like like i could i could make one of those it was to get a tin can on the end it was it was
it was genuinely amazing i was like like i i was trying to be very vulnerable and just like ask
her brothers all sorts of questions like so like what's like what is this thing so so what's you've
been throwing out this word a lot what does it mean what what is a gun what is a what mag what are these things yeah
ammunition ammunition ammunition ammunition am what do i say am i saying it wrong ammunition
what yeah um so ammunition okay it's a long a yeah i i don't have much to say except for just
like i was such like it was awesome it was it was as texas as it gets in every way possible
first of all it was hilarious that it was just a pawn shop.
That was not it.
I think it probably started out as a pawn shop and then they were getting so
many guns.
They're like,
you know what,
let's go ahead.
Let's just go ahead and say this thing's a gun shop,
you know,
gun store,
whatever they had.
They had all sorts of like little,
like,
you know,
locally crafted like coffee and stuff,
but it was all like for the troops,
you know,
and like blue lives matter and all that stuff.
And then they had Texas jams. Did you see that on the Instagram story, Texas jams and stuff, but it was all like for the troops, you know, and like blue lives matter and all this stuff. And then they had Texas jams.
Did you see that on the Instagram story?
Texas jams and people submitted some fun ones there.
But, um, anyway, Texas is just different.
Who'd you go there with?
Uh, my brother-in-law, my, my brother-in-laws, like Catherine's two brothers and then our
brother-in-law.
So I like the idea of them going in there with you.
I'm like, all right, Brad, we want to get a good deal on a going in there with you like all right brad we want to
get a good deal on a gun but you're like way better negotiating than we are like can you help
us and you just have no idea these figures are thrown out i'll give you a i'll give you six for
that one not knowing like what the six for the 12 six for the 12 how many shots is that one okay
how many shots how many shots how many how many bullet holes or how many now does that come with
caps or do we have to get our own now to the case the casings will happen after i shoot it yeah i don't
i don't have to add casings to it now usually they have an orange tip on there do i just spray
paint my own or i don't really understand now when i shoot the deer how do i get it back to
my truck let's say it's a mile through the woods sure how do i do you just rent do you call somebody
for that they have uber for for for deer, deer, deer, uh,
curtain,
Uber,
Uber,
Uber,
the deer,
um,
I don't know.
Uh,
yeah,
it'd be so fun negotiating for something you don't even know.
Oh,
I looked like,
yeah,
I looked like such a dingus.
Like,
like,
uh,
Sam at one point was like,
say at one of her brothers.
Oh yeah.
That one's like,
they're just trying to show off with that 12 or something like that.
And I was like,
um,
can you tell me which one you're talking about? then like you show me really close you show me and
then i was like so why are they showing off with that one like i don't understand what do you mean
12 yeah dude it was just like gosh i'm such a city boy not only a city boy i'm just like not
into that stuff at all yeah anyway that probably is a lot how i felt when i got hired to shoot a scuba show yes and i'm just thrown in the middle of just scuba diving like this lore right and they just
have like off like shorthand for all these different things you're like yeah i'm having
to talk scuba with people even if it was longhand you wouldn't understand it i don't care the size
of your hand i've never scuba'd i don't really know right uh what do these machines do a lot
of apparati but yeah i mean te, Texas is a different place, man.
They, we also, I watched a commercial that they were like,
hey, I don't know.
Hi.
Hello.
No, it was for a car dealership,
but it was for Black Friday and Saturday and Sunday.
If you go buy a car at this Denison Chevrolet,
you get a free gun with any purchase and it just
cracked me up i used to imagine like you know somebody goes like some elderly lady goes and
buys like a little chevy cobalt or something and be like i'll take the 12 you know like not
realizing like it's like the biggest water gladys here's your ar12 have fun oh well thank you you
know i like this is a good idea. This is good marketing thing.
I think you combine used car dealership with escape room with felony.
So you give them an unregistered gun.
OK.
And then you call the cops on them and say, hey, in an hour, they're going to be driving
this car.
And so they but you also hide the gun in their car.
Like they are having to find the gun and register it within the hour.
I like it. Or else they have to and register it within the hour i like it or
else they have to go to jail but if you get it then you that's your gun if you get it then you
don't go to jail but and you paid somebody a lot of money for a car yes that sounds good to me and
it could be interesting if the cop gets there right when you've registered yeah could get
interesting seems like a win-win win-win-win seems good to me i remember there was a jeweler oh let me run that one back let's go
back a slide okay uh fix it in post i remember one time there was a jewel jeweler yeah i got it
yeah there was a jewel a jewelry store yeah that was you're there uh offering like if you buy an
engagement ring with us or you know you spend two grand on jewelry we'll throw in like an xbox one
for you because they
knew that like guys are the ones buying this sure more often than not i always thought that was
pretty smart yeah that's pretty good yeah i just don't know yeah i want andy bernard on bought
four engagement rings because you never know what's going to happen yeah resold all the xboxes
now i have four engagement rings have i ever told you you? Win-win. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. Do it now.
Three, two, one.
I feel like if you're buying a diamond from somebody that can afford to give you an Xbox
and still make a lot of money off you, you're paying too much for that diamond.
You know what I mean?
I'd rather buy it from somebody who is like, I can't sell for any cheaper than that.
This is the price.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have I ever told you how I bought Catherine's diamond ring?
I'm sure it i didn't i do not remember but i bet you have said it so still say it again okay because i know at one point a long time ago i talked about my blood diamond idea and i'm guessing
it came from whatever you're about to tell me it was kind of i mean a i yeah i saved up my money
by donating plasma and stuff in college and so it was kind of the same idea that it wasn't just plasma, but it was also all the, because I spent like $50 a month, but the actual diamond
itself I bought from this guy. I think, I don't think he was a pastor at the time. I think he was
an ex pastor and he got in trouble and immoral. And I'm just kidding. Um, his name was, what was
it? It was Carl Lentz, I think.
No, they call him Diamond Dave.
Oh, yeah.
Have I told you about this?
No, I've just heard of him.
You have?
Yeah.
Oh, really?
He's the guy on the radio, right?
No.
Oh, okay.
I don't think so.
I mean, I think this guy's like off the map.
He's off the grid.
Okay.
Yeah.
He lives in Wichita, but he was passionate about helping young Christian men buy an engagement
ring, get a good deal on a
diamond. Okay. Diamond Dave. Uh, yeah. So that like, that's not the barrier for them to get
married. Is it diamond Dave Ramsey? Is that what he goes? Pretty much. Yeah. Better than I deserve.
That's what he would tell us. Every time I saw him, I was like, you look familiar, dude. Uh,
I feel like you've been like in my parents' bookshelf for years. Um, no, but, uh, and he
was awesome. But like, he just like had connections with pawn shops and
that's where he would get all these diamonds. But he, like, I thought I was a lost cause with him.
He wasn't really responding to me. He's like, yeah, I don't think I can do this anymore. My
relationships with these guys aren't good. And so then I went to camp, but I was like,
I want to propose to Catherine soon. So I like messaged him on one of my two fours.
He got back to me. He's like, I think I got a good diamond for you. I'm going to send it out to you. Check it out. If you like it,
you can send me money. If you don't, you can send it back. And so I got this diamond in like a,
like this little pouch and Catherine was like, well, what, what was in the mail for you today?
And I couldn't tell her, but it was like a loose diamond. And, uh, I was like, I don't know if
this thing's legit or not. It looks good in my hand. Uh, but Sparky,
the,
uh,
camp director,
let me go to justice jewelers.
Okay.
Springfield.
That's how I know about justice jewelers.
Yeah.
Uh,
and like,
have it like appraised and everything.
And these people said like,
yeah,
whatever.
It was like $8,000 appraisal.
No,
this guy was offering it to me for a thousand bucks.
Diamond Dave.
I was like,
Diamond Dave,
you have a deal.
Diamond Dave,
you have a deal.
Deal with that Diamond Dave. Uh, so anyway, anyway it's kind of a crazy story because i have
this picture of me like holding this it's obviously tiny in my hand like this tiny little diamond
just loose like in my hand of like this is eight thousand dollars this little tiny thing
dang anyway diamond dave i don't know how we got on that but diamond dave pawn shop and whatever
i'm sure i've shared this before on the podcast but i'm just gonna add a new uh just requirement for for my dough someday not only you know preferably middle
eastern descent i want my jasmine yeah um among other thing romper yeah would be nice yep third
thing uh i would love her to have an appreciation and a knowledge of the diamond industry and
realize that all the value it has come from
Americans assigning the value.
That's so interesting.
It's like Bitcoin.
I need to look into that.
You should.
Yeah.
I won't bore everyone on the podcast because also I think I've mentioned on the podcast
before.
Yeah, you have.
But there are millions of diamonds in the world.
They are not scarce.
Really?
And they have no intrinsic value.
So do people just like hoard them?
And so that's like, like, like they only release so many like into circulation okay
every year they've been doing that that way since the 50s huh like these people like there's like a
couple like big companies that are just like controlling the diamond industry yeah that's
crazy and in america specifically we assign them a lot of value right when like in other parts of
the world you can get them super easily it's like i i found one of those when i was yeah digging
digging the little digger it's like an an arrowhead. Yeah. In South Africa.
They're like, oh, should we throw this into the ocean and see how far it goes?
That'd be fun.
That's crazy.
I don't know if that's actually how it is in South Africa specifically, but yeah. So that's another thing I'm looking for in a wife.
Someone who's like down to, you know.
Go with a sapphire.
I'll still pay for it, but yeah.
Or even cubic zerk.
Yeah.
Whatever.
As long as we're looking for the look of it.
I'll get like a really nice cubic zirconium.
Like a super nice one.
Like I'm talking like 95, 89, you know.
What are those numbers?
That's the price.
Oh, okay.
That's the price they would cost.
As far as I knew, we were talking guns still.
Yeah, I went 95, 89.
That's not a normal price, but I don't know.
No one says 89.
95, 99, 94, 99.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Anyway.
Anyway, let's see what else is going on oh on my way to the
wedding today passed through a town had 69 people in the population of it tightwad tightwad it was
called tightwad and then even more perfecter tightwad bank is what it's called i was like
wow did you name this town just for this joke just for tightwad bank yeah like people don't
even do like financial transactions there it's just like people are like sorry we're tightwads we don't give out money they
haven't had a loan approved since they started oh that's they don't give anything out kansas
is that missouri that was missouri i think i was driving through oklahoma today speak i mean it's
kind of off that there's no state out there i give missouri a hard time there's no state out
there that maintains a stereotype like Oklahoma does.
Like,
yeah,
they kind of do.
Like every single time I ever stop in Oklahoma,
you see,
you see the Oklahoma kind of people.
Yeah.
If that makes sense.
Like,
like there's,
there's certain parts of Missouri that are,
yeah,
plenty.
Yeah.
Nasty.
And there's other parts that are like very normal.
Great.
Just like every other state.
But my gosh,
in Oklahoma,
it feels like those people find every single, every single state. But my gosh, in Oklahoma, it feels like those people find
every single, every single spot. Like there was, there was at one point today we were driving down
this, like, I mean, it was a, it was through a town, but it was still a highway that we were on.
You know, we were going 55, the speed limit was 55. And there were like multiple people trying
to cross the road. There were like people in the, like, it was, it was just, it was just chaos.
And I was like, why are you like pedestrians just like crossing this highway and just seemed like it
was normal you guys are nuts and it was like that's oklahoma for you so i i don't have a
specific too much too much more of a specific example besides that of like oklahoma i you know
when when i've been there the past eight, nine, whatever months of the pandemic, it was always like an oasis of just like not a mask in sight.
Oh, no.
Large gatherings.
Oh, no.
It's pretty different down there.
It is.
It's very different.
That reminds me of a joke.
Yeah, I'm going to bring it back up.
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
The people in the audience who didn't laugh at me.
I actually know I'm not.
I'm not going to go back there.
I was.
No, I'm not going to do it.
One thing before I forget. another stat that is also true.
Didn't have to dig that deep.
Last week, biggest Friday ever for the pod.
All right.
Let's go.
Delayed gratification.
I don't know.
Big Friday.
I love it.
Biggest one ever.
A lot of listeners Friday.
Probably because of Scott.
You know, Scott always, like, God loves Scott.
Like a huge fan of the pod, but it'll take him a few days to get around to it.
Genuinely huge fan,
like not even like mediocre.
Like I think he really,
really,
really enjoys it,
but doesn't text us about it at all until like Thursday or Friday.
By that time,
we've already recorded another podcast.
So it's very hard to remember.
Like,
what are you talking about?
I don't know what you're talking about.
What did I say?
Uh,
yeah,
but he's like,
dude,
I'm dying at this Brad deuce thing.
And I'm like what oh yeah
you know whatever what who do we got here so um what do you think about this sorry do you have
anything else i kind of not about biggest friday ever okay but oh i got some stuff okay this is
just a random uh i don't know if this is immature or funny so tell me what i should do with this
okay and maybe both let me get the spectrum out. That's possible. Got it.
Okay.
So my cousin, who's an older cousin of mine, he's probably in his late 40s.
Okay.
But he's a cool guy still.
A cool old cousin.
A cool old cousin.
He's a big Facebook poster.
And he recently, like he posts all the time.
But his recent post said, has anyone seen the price of a Zappa PPV? I didn't look up what that
is. I don't know what Zappa PPV is. I recognize PPV. Where do I know? Oh, nevermind. I don't
know. Premiere pro video. Go. Maybe. Um, I don't know. He's like really into like jam bands and
food and I don't know all these random things. Wait, jam bands and food yeah fish well i was thinking like jam oh yeah yeah no um
no anyway he's a big coffee guy whatever it doesn't matter like oh he's in all these hobbies
so i have no idea what this is this could be anything but the question was has anyone seen
the price of a zappa ppv okay i've seen multiple people have things like this like anyone out there
um have any good recommendations blah blah i'm tempted i was so tempted has anyone seen the
price of zappa ppv i just want to respond I have not, I kind of want that to be my
new thing where I just go around and like, anytime anybody's like, you know, Hey, does anybody have
any recommendations, uh, for good places to eat in St. Joseph? I do not. Sorry. Not even close.
Like, like, is that, is that just like frustrating to somebody that says like, Oh, Brad Ellis
commented on your posts. And then it's just, just you get some nowhere it's funny for everyone else but the
person who put who put the status okay that seems good enough to me yeah i don't know i just think
it's really funny like when it's just an open-ended thing like that let me you made me laugh with a
similar text this is like two weeks ago or so when we thought the merch was coming to your house
which my goodness i got a phone call about the merch this week i don't know how people i got phone call and a sorry guys
genuinely i don't even know i'm like a little nervous now like how are people getting my phone
number to to call me and ask if the merch is here yet no like it wasn't like somebody you knew no
oh wow i don't know who these people are so sorry guys it's out of our control and people keep dming
me yeah and we just can't do anything about it we're just trying yeah but i'm really sorry uh but the merch was supposed to come to your house like two
mondays ago yeah and i said is it there yet you said not even a little bit which made me laugh
it's like yeah you know it either did or it didn't i love saying that people too and like
yeah you know a yes or no question did you, did you shoot a wedding today? Yeah. Yeah. For the most part. Yeah. Yeah. Or not really.
That was the inside joke a few summers ago with Isaac. One time we were driving to get some wood
or something and I like smelled someone was like, I didn't know if it was outside or if it was him.
Speaking of bodily functions with Isaac and I go, did you fart dude? And he goes,
kinda. And I just love the idea, idea like like a black and white thing like
you either fart or you did it not a ton kind of did you feel a wedding today kind of did you go
to baylor not really yeah technically no i mean kind of yeah i i'm trying to find a good example
on facebook right now i'm not seeing anything but i i think i'm just gonna start doing it and
seeing how people react like yeah if they're just like dude that's not cool don't say that or oh good one we used to do a thing in
college called facebook roulette and i forget how it like how we played the game but the loser
had to just like you would lose with a number it's like you lost facebook roulette
six or whatever yeah and so you have to go six statuses down no matter what they said just say
me too oh just like agree to whatever you can't do that anymore yeah me too meant something uh-huh well it didn't mean anything that's cool that's funny though yeah
it was kind of fun like no matter yeah and back in the day it was just statuses like yeah 2012
is so many statuses right now that you can't find us i'm trying to find a recommendation on here
i'm just finding all these random group posts and everything so uh okay here's something i had a
funny uh just speaking of messages kind of a funny text
thread this week with one of my friends that made me laugh. So I was like, maybe this could
be just something funny to talk about the podcast and see if you can add to it a little
bit. So this is it started with my friend Kirsten sending me a tick tock just kind of
like relatable stuff. The tick tock was something about like every girl in a small group ever.
And so then we just get chatting about like, there are, I said something like, uh, it would be kind
of niche, but a really awesome video would be just like small group stereotypes, you know,
whatever. So here's some of the ones we wrote down and you can try to think of some too. So I said
the wife who dragged her husband there and talks for him. Okay. I've seen that one firsthand talks
for him. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, he's really struggling with this. Yeah. Okay. That's a good,
um, the leader of the group who you later found out just became a christian like three months ago
uh he's on fire the the he's on fire the quiet guy who comes by himself and never says anything
and you hope he's just quiet and not an active shooter or pedophile no sometimes i think the
quiet people are the deeper thinkers and they're like they're just sometimes sometimes i sometimes I'm like, I didn't really prepare very well for this week.
So I'm just going to see, seem like I'm a little deeper than everybody else.
I'm still processing the questions.
You just ask questions.
You don't actually provide anything.
You just ask deeper questions.
Or like I kind of squint as they, as people like give their thing.
I kind of am like, I see that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's good.
What are the other ones?
The dog griever.
That's great.
Yeah, you love those.
The perpetual testimony giver, but adds a weird new detail each time.
I didn't tell you that.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I forgot.
I didn't tell you about Vegas.
Oh, my gosh.
It was insane.
Vegas was nuts.
You were woken up somewhere.
You didn't even know where you were.
It happened to me three times in one night.
I had to change my pants twice.
I'm not going to tell you why.
No.
Uh, the one that talks about God's grace and forgiveness in a way that makes you wonder
if they've killed someone.
That's pretty good.
Like, okay.
Um, there is more, but yeah.
Like, uh, like the, the loud breather
before the group prayer, like, like, you know how you're kind of popcorn. You're not necessarily,
you don't have a specific order yet. So everyone's just kind of praying and one person kind of gets
done and like, you don't know who to go next. So you either have to like, like physically move
your body. No, no, like, like, no, like no no i'm serious people all have their eyes
closed you either have to come in i'll smug it i see what you're saying now people have their eyes
closed and you might have your like leg like uh you know like whatever bent or you know folded
up or something somehow you have to let them know i'm coming yeah you're like because you don't you
don't you do not want to be the guy that says something the exact same time somebody else does
yes like if we're popcorn praying and it's kind of awkward silence.
Dear heavenly father.
Oh gosh.
Here you go.
And then you have to open up your eyes and then people, and then there's one person that's
like not opening their eyes, but they're smiling like, okay, three months ago I was not having
to worry about this.
You know? So, so, so the guy, so, so whatever, like, so this ago, I was not having to worry about this.
So, so, so the guy, so, so whatever, like, so this guy,
this guy just does a loud sigh halfway through.
So God, we just thank you. Yeah. You know, you are the way maker,
miracle worker. Maybe the guy just, just praise song lyrics. His prayers sounded a lot like a Hillsong song.
Like, I think this, I think I'm plagiarizing.
God, your love is deep for us.
Yeah, whatever.
That'd be funny.
Like getting mad at someone for plagiarizing in their prayer.
Like, dude, that's actually not cool.
Like that's, that's Jesus culture.
Or just getting mad at somebody for plagiarizing by like memorizing scripture.
Wait, that's not your work.
That's straight from the Bible. Like you answered with a verse. You can't do that. Let your light
shine before I'm in. No, I've heard that somewhere. We get that. I've heard that somewhere before.
I know you didn't come up with that. At least cite your sources. At least cite them. I mean,
if you're going to be lazy about it, at least like change the version. So we don't know it
very well. You're out here just acting like you're just coming up with this yeah please come on oh oh you went old testament so
you thought we couldn't cross-reference that nice try bucko you know that's funny that's funny yeah
that's good stuff right there but yeah that's what for plagiarizing
dude we just read that last week we we. We all know where that's from.
Yeah, we get it.
Yeah.
Jesus wept.
That's an obvious one.
Why are you even saying that?
That doesn't make sense within the context of this.
Oh, that's funny.
That's good.
That's a good bit.
I like that.
I like that idea for a video.
Before I forget, I want to give a shout out to one of our patrons. Nate Humpston wrote a speech about me, which is so cool.
Yes.
It was just awesome.
I've never had anyone do that before.
So just shout out, Nate.
Shout out, Nate.
I think he's in high school.
Yeah.
And he's a $15 patron, which is awesome.
And he wrote a speech about me without interviewing me.
Like just with information he found in the podcast.
He wrote like a five minute informational speech.
And at the end, he was like, I think this is all right. You can let me know if I'm wrong.
There were a few things I was like, I don't know if that's true.
I think he got like 90% accuracy probably.
Yeah. Which is plenty.
Plenty.
This day and age.
This day.
Yeah. So thanks, Nate.
Yeah. That was, that was crazy.
And all the other patrons. Our patron's been good lately. I think we need to get,
you know, you and my dad, we miss each other, but I think it's
time.
Harrison Pollard.
It's time.
Let's get him on the pod.
He's ready.
Yeah.
Sometime this week.
He's been psyching himself up.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe tomorrow.
I'll watch a Chiefs game together.
Sure.
Pod afterwards.
Maybe.
I kind of like it.
I might have other things going on.
I got nothing.
We thought about going to get a Christmas tree tomorrow at some point. And I literally, I felt really bad after I said nothing. We thought about going to get a Christmas tree tomorrow at some point.
And I literally, I felt really bad after I said this.
And so I took it back, but I was like,
because Catherine's like, we should go get a Christmas tree tomorrow.
I was like, tomorrow?
She's like, yeah, tomorrow.
I was like, tomorrow's football day.
I was like, gosh, I can't be.
Yeah.
I have that dad right now.
I'm that husband that's just like, babe, sorry.
I'm just here watching football all day.
Some days are for football,
and Saturdays are for the boys. I'm inviting Sullivan
over. We're watching this thing, all right? Yeah.
Get Pewter on the phone. Pewter. See if he can come down.
Doga. I don't know.
So, yeah. Okay.
I have something before we go into...
I feel like we're about to go into voice memos.
Dude, I got like 18 more stuff.
Perfect.
Okay.
Well,
I'll break it up.
Cause I don't have that much.
I have little random thoughts,
but this is one thing we're into the Christmas season.
Officially.
I'm,
I'm not like gonna,
um,
roast people for celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving,
but I just don't believe in it.
It's not my thing.
Okay.
I,
and honestly,
I don't,
I've kind of been convicted about that of like,
like I really,
really enjoy Christmas and listening to Christmas music, but I don't like doing until after
Thanksgiving because it's special during those, whatever, 30 days I get to listen to it.
It's the same reason why people find birthday month annoying.
It's like, you can't have birthday month.
Yeah.
Birthday day is so special because it's, it's a short amount of time.
It's a shorter amount of time, but maybe other people truly enjoy Christmas for two months
in a row.
I don't, well, I don't buy it.
So anyway,
that's why I consolidate mine.
But now that it is Christmas time,
I'm going to do,
I did a Christmas jingle with the Charlie Brown.
We've got another Christmas jingle coming up.
Oh yeah.
Spoiler alert.
Um,
and I have a quick holiday gift guide for the men out there.
You're kidding.
This is,
this is a,
this is a gift guide for any women who are looking for gifts for men.
Oh,
okay.
Cause Catherine always tells me that I'm so hard to buy for and girls honestly, like, yeah,
you can, you can be better at getting gifts for girls, but like Catherine will always
enjoy a candle. She'll always enjoy a nice scented, whatever bath salt, you know, whatever
some jewelry in an Xbox. Yeah. And it goes a long way monogrammed yeah right absolutely it does so um so these are just some some quick yeah thoughts for uh men out there for gentlemen um
first off first off i think i mentioned this but car wash membership oh yeah that's nice i got my
dad that for christmas last year it's a great gift to anybody out there especially anybody that parks
their cars outside uh just like unlimited car wash a little more expensive i think it's 12
a month in kansas city, so do that math.
Um, second, uh, actually these pants that I'm wearing right now, I don't know the exact
name of them.
I'm sorry, but they are from target.
There's a good pants.
And yeah, I have a friend, Kevin, who has these pants and has Lululemon pants and says
that these are more comfortable.
So they're only $30.
So target men's sweatpants target.
Yeah.
Whatever they are. Men's joggers, active pants. They're not, they're only $30. So target men's sweatpants target. Yeah, whatever they are.
Men's joggers, active pants.
They're not, they're not super thick, so they're pretty breathable, which is good and bad.
Um, but Christmas time might not want to go outside in them.
So I noticed him as soon as you walked in.
Did you?
I really did.
No.
Catherine got them for me for my birthday and they're so, so good pants.
I want to wear them every day.
Yeah.
So, um, nice pants.
Uh, also Academy,
the,
the sports and outdoor store also has great joggers out there.
Um,
this is a little bit awkward,
but Duluth trading company has really nice underwear.
Don't ask me how I know you can ask me.
I have some,
um,
comfortable.
Oh,
sorry.
Can I stop you really quick?
Duluth trading code just made me think of something.
We stayed in the Airbnb in Huntsville,
Alabama,
and it was really awesome. It was
a cute little farmhouse. Oh, yeah.
It was featured on some HGTV show.
I don't know which one, but it was
a big deal, whatever. Okay. You know, every
Airbnb, almost all of them come with a little binder. Here's the
Wi-Fi password. Here's what you need to know.
This was like, you know, places
to eat, and it was like
Schlotzky's,
whatever, just like cookout long john silvers yeah yeah
and then places to shop walmart kohl's duluth trading co yeah these are these are everywhere
these are not alabama baby yeah i love it it was awesome okay keep going it's just really funny
like airbnb that's your time to say like this is a hole in the wall spot you would only know this
if you're staying in madison alabama right to go to Kohl's if you need something.
Kohl's and Schlotzky's.
Catherine randomly loves Schlotzky's.
I've never been, and I don't think I ever want to go.
Catherine and my Aunt Angie, the only people who like Schlotzky's.
Really?
Yeah.
Anyway, Duluth Trading Company, though, is kind of like my happy place.
I went there last week because I got a gift card for birthday.
On days.
I did.
And some coveralls.
I look like a freaking paul bunion
but i look awesome do you do people often confuse the two of you all the time really yeah well they
confuse my feet for having bunions oh okay i think but i think i just you're thinking paul
bunion aren't you yeah and this is my blue ox jake um so anyway duluth trading company's great
i just love it uh a couple other things, of course, Ellis custom gifts.
I'm not trying to plug, but I'm trying to plug.
Anybody wants a, you know, affordable cutting board for their man that likes to cook grill,
whatever else custom gifts, check it out.
Nice custom piece.
Um, and then, oh, two other things, I guess, speaking of plugs, we're making a jingle merch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I guess, I guess we're saying it because, uh, we're making a jingle merch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I guess, I guess we're saying it because we have a merch coming out for the next, probably
not very long week or so.
What do you think?
80% chance that we have Chris's merch by today.
Yeah.
If not today, check back Tuesday.
If not Tuesday, check back Wednesday.
Ghostrunners.life.
We have shirts that are going to say, end it with the jingle on there.
Shout out Kirstie.
Shout out Kirstie for the idea. She left a YouTube comment. Gosh, Kirstie's the best. Yeah. life uh we have uh shirts they're gonna say end it with the jingle on there shout out kirsty shout
out she left a youtube comment gosh kirsty's the best yeah um and so that's a great gift idea for
anybody in your life and we we've talked with our person and we're gonna get it to you like by
christmas yeah at least those are the demands we're making yes it'll be up to them if they want
to like honor what they say they'll do who knows correct uh who knows if covid happens again then again there is covid 19 there is covid
but once it's 2021 they can't say it's gonna magically disappear yeah can't wait maybe and
then lastly this is a random one but a small wallet i think a lot of men out there i don't
know what kind of wallet you're you're working with this is a good gift i was just thinking
that maybe i could lose some chunks yes dude i i went to the small wallet about a year and a half, two years ago,
and I haven't looked back. You're so nimble. I've noticed that over the time. It's great. I have it
in my front pocket instead of the back and it's just nice. It's nice. So I have one with a little
belt or a money clip, like a magnetic clip. So you put your money in there. Guys don't need many
things in their wallets. And if they do, they're losers. So I'm just kidding. So that's my holiday gift guide. Thanks for all that gift guide. You're
welcome. If I think of more, I'll tell them next week. Add it to the list. Yeah, that's great.
But I'm just trying to help the ladies out there with any kind of like generic ideas. So
there's some generic ideas. Okay. Great work. Yeah. Uh, Brad, the next part of the podcast,
uh, you know, speaking of gifts, I have some gifts uh you know speaking of gifts i have some gifts for you
oh really and some gifts for the listeners what a segue uh yeah this worked out pretty perfect
so the first set of tangible gifts tang gifts oh wow uh jessica modine she's a patron yeah she came
not only to the huntsville alabama show but then i saw her the next night in nashville at the
nashville show where she lived oh she lives in n Nashville. She's the one that she's Billy Ray.
Yes.
So I go raise waitress.
Yeah.
I got to follow her away.
Everything she told us is true.
Like she is, she is Billy Ray server.
And she's also like mentioned like best of both worlds.
Like he lobbed that up for her so much.
Yeah.
Like that's all legit.
Okay.
Awesome.
I can't wait for whatever this is.
So she got each of us some headgear.
Mine is a chief's hat.
Nice chief's hat. chief's hat that says
poopsie on which i completely forgot about that inside joke which is from like the first time
and then brad for you have this hey it's a beanie it says big daddy on it i will sleep in that
so it's the night before christmas Yeah. I had my stocking.
All right.
Big daddy.
Um,
so you see the big daddy.
I want to make sure that YouTube sees it.
Yeah. Maybe pull up the bottom of it.
A little,
not too much.
She'd be,
Oh no,
no,
just leave it.
Just leave it.
Yeah.
This better.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's very readable.
Yeah.
And now nothing.
What?
It's covered.
Oh,
okay.
I'll do like a style. That's good. That's good. Okay. It's a little catty okay. I'll do like a TRL style. That's good.
That's good. Okay. It's a little cattywampus, but you'll be fine. That's how I like it.
That's how big daddy likes. So shout out Jessica Modine for the gifts. Um, and then I was given
another gift by someone else last night. Um, so it's been talked about before this podcast. Uh,
some people found somehow you know my my
shirtless senior pictures came up i have in my hand brad's senior picture oh snap look at that
we'll put it on the screen right now but this is for brad to look at as well so everyone can look
at it what was i thinking this pic you're thinking uh first of, nice Argyle vest, Argyle vest, quite the angle.
Like the photographer is just like,
yeah,
Melissa,
like you are a urinal and the photographer is just like standing above you,
like straddling you and your guitar.
So what I'm going to do is just like put my hands as high up as I can and just angle them down.
And you're going to be kneeling by a barn with your guitar.
Is that cool?
She also gave me Scott Sells. Senior picture.
Yeah.
Aaron Voline.
Shout out Aaron.
Scotty boy.
Look at Scott, dude.
Freaking Scott, man.
So come to the YouTube version at this timestamp and you'll see some of these senior pictures.
Probably put them on the Patreon, like, you know, the actual image.
So you can just, you know, knack Baxter, just go to meme town with them.
Oh man.
I'm worried now that this, this is like the floodgates and my mom's gonna start sending you stuff like
oh you like this yeah oh you think that's funny watch this yeah exactly yeah but that's really
fun pretty great senior picture you look so young do i never even never even met diamond dave yet
no whole life ahead of you had no thoughts of of diving, Dave. Wow. Nice complexion. Good complex. Yeah.
Boy, yeah. Before I had the stress of a wife and kids.
Just kidding.
That was great.
That was fun.
Saw Erin Bowling last night and she lives in West Palm Beach and she's coming to a show.
So I'll see her again in like three days.
Sweet.
That's fun.
That's kind of fun.
Yeah.
She mentioned that she was, that's one of our good friends.
Went to high school.
Yeah.
I went to high school with her.
She was like the girl that I was best friends with in high school that kind of intimidates
all the girls that you date you know what I mean like like you're kind of close it's like yeah I
feel like she knows you better than I do it's like yeah but not really I don't I don't have feelings
for her whatever Aaron's the best so that's great I'm glad you guys have feelings for each other
yes I am too because we both are married yes to other people oh that's fun one thing i want to talk about is what i'll
call thank you yeah thanks jessica for the gifts i've had a lot of good days this month one of them
being last sunday night one of the best three hour spans of my life a nap i go and get me it was not
a nap okay there's no way let's talk about n who are like, oh, I love just like when it's thunderstorm, we're going to get
to fall asleep.
I'm like, you're asleep.
You can't enjoy that.
Yes, you can.
No, it's so weird to me.
It doesn't make any sense.
Oh, it's nice.
And people are like, oh, that was such a good nap.
Like, that was so great.
Well, I guess that makes sense.
Something about like a guiltless nap.
Like there's times where I'm like, I should not be napping right now, You know, but there's other times where it's like, it's storming outside.
I don't have to do any yard work.
I can just curl up on the couch and just fall asleep.
Crack the window open because my wife's out of town.
Hear that rain pour down.
I just think it's like such a quick experience, but it gets talked about all the time.
Like it's this great, like grandeur thing,
like, Oh, falling asleep during a thunderstorm. Oh, it's not the best rainy day. This takes 15
seconds. It's not really like an experience for me. I don't get it. Uh, sorry, not a nap. It was
the chiefs hat is what made me think of it Sunday night. Uh, I, we have back-to-back shows,
six 30 and eight 30 chiefs play at 7 so i get on stage do my thing
and you told us like do not text you yeah well i didn't have to because i was the green room
set up in huntsville is perfect it was next to the stage because every other green room we've
ever been in are like up the stairs around the corner i'm like constantly having to go back to
the stage like is my time yet no okay maybe five more minutes i don't want to be late though i
should better stay in here and hear the same joke again. You can't hear like the PA?
No, they don't like run the speakers through there. Yeah. Which is tough.
That's how church green rooms, you can always hear the pastor.
That would be awesome. I guess comedy clubs and churches are a little different.
Uh, at least in Kentucky, Ohio, Tennessee, Alabama.
Oh, that's right. That's a, that's not the Bible belt.
The Middle East is different. That's different. So it just, it worked out perfect that The best green room we've been in happens to be the night of the Chiefs game.
I get to like, I'm watching the Chiefs, you know,
I HDMI Hulu onto the big screen.
Nice.
I'm like going from Chiefs to comedy, back to Chiefs, back to comedy,
meeting some people, hugging, selfie, go back to Chiefs.
Wait, wait, here's you.
Here's Pat.
Here's you.
I'm going to be like your shadow.
You can bunk with me.
And then it got even better because this is a close game.
Mahomes goes down.
Which game was this again?
It's the Raiders game.
Oh, yeah.
It was a good game.
Minute and a half left on the clock.
But also, Trey's getting done with his set.
And it's about time for me to go back on stage and hit him with a duet.
And I'm like, come on, Trey.
Just a little bit longer.
Mahomes is diving down the hill.
And Mahomes drove down the field. Seven plays, seven plays 75 yards we come back we win the game and then I mean as soon as we scored a touchdown it's like my cue to go on stage
love it get up there crush it and then just come back and just get to revel by the time I came back
off stage Dan Sorensen had just picked off Derek Carr to seal it it was oh that's awesome it was
that's Nirvana it was so great that is's awesome. It was, that's Nirvana. It was so great. That is great. Awesome, dude. I was in heaven. Yes. It like the timing worked out perfect.
It was also so interesting to go from like adrenaline filled sports fan,
nervous to like entertainment and fine and lighthearted. Uh, oh, it was awesome though.
Do you know the, uh, my wedding day? Um, have I told you this? Have I told the podcast? I think
so. Whoa. That was a cool thing that happened on the microphone.
The, uh, Colts game, the ESPN alert, right?
Yeah.
It was the best.
Yeah.
Chiefs hadn't played in the playoffs.
Hadn't won a playoff game in forever.
They were winning by 28 points against the Colts.
Everything was going right.
And then all of a sudden, like we went to take pictures before my wedding and come back.
Oh, the chiefs are only up by 14, whatever.
Oh, the chiefs are only up by seven.
Oh, they tied it up. Oh, they're going to win, but we're not sure if they win for sure. And then we
have to leave and go to the wedding, like go, go, you know, go up on the stage basically. And
all of a sudden, yeah, Catherine walks down the aisle, beautiful woman. I'm crying.
And pastor goes, let's pray dear Lord. And right as he does that, Gary, my father-in-law, gets a notification on his phone as loud as
it could be.
Did it, did it, did it.
And it was the notification that my favorite team had lost right before that.
So you're the opposite of what I had.
Almost the exact opposite.
But I know that churches are different, are polar opposites.
That's right.
In Texas, too, apparently in Texas, too.
So anyway, yeah, that's,
I know, I know the feeling of like big moments of like watching it, like waiting to go up on stage
basically is what I'm saying. Yeah. So, you know, you know, um, I'm going to see if I want to get
to any of this stuff. I finally got my, uh, driver's license. I'm no longer illegal. I got
all the papes except I was a little nervous.
I don't have my social security card.
My parents have it.
And so it's a little tough for me to prove my social security number because I don't have pay stubs like a normal person.
Like that's the main thing they need.
And so I asked Trey's accountant, I was like, can I get some sort of pay stub?
Irene hooks it up with more or less a Word document.
Actually, not more.
It is a Word document.
I mean, it's in Arial font and it's 12 point.
It's like you didn't do anything to this word document.
And there's like numbers on it and my social security numbers on it.
But I'm like, I do not feel good about this.
And the DMV is so hard to like get appointments with.
Right.
And so I'm really nervous.
Yeah.
If you don't get it now, you wait till February.
Probably.
Yeah.
And the driver's license bureau these days has like a bouncer.
Like you can't get to the counter until you get past this first guy to make sure you've got the
right stuff. So now I got to get this through like two lines of defense. It's a little nervous.
Yeah. And it's also, I have an appointment at 420. It closes at 430. I don't even know why
they let me have an appointment that close to closing, but they must just know it's going to
be quick. It must be either have it or you don't. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I kind of did.
So I walk in the bouncer.
Well,
I'll call him the first line of defense.
He's got a Rockies Jersey on.
It's Larry Walker.
Couldn't tell.
No numbers on the front.
Big cat.
Yeah.
Well,
so that's funny.
Yeah. Cause I'm like,
all right,
it's time.
So I do.
I,
he's like,
Hey sir,
what can I help you with?
I was like,
dude,
first things first,
love the Rockies Jersey.
And he goes,
you're a fan.
I was like,
my favorite team.
Oh, the Rockies. You're buttering them up. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, love the Rockies jersey. And he goes, you a fan? I was like, my favorite team. Love the Rockies.
You're buttering them up.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my friends call me Rocky.
Can't keep me away from Cora Seale.
I love Rockies.
Let's talk Rockies.
Yeah, yeah.
But I really, I was name dropping like players.
I was like, oh, I remember when like Matt Holiday left
and went on to the Cardinals.
Only reason I'm asking is because of the Cardinals, man.
Right.
You know, and I'm trying to name drop all these.
Hampton, Mike Hampton back in the day.
So I'm saying all this, and this dude's loving it.
Like, I'm buttering his bread.
It's going well.
He takes one look at the Word document.
He's like, you're good to go, man.
You know, puts a little paperclip for me.
I'm like, I'm good.
I got like a number.
You know, they call it K57.
It's my time.
Yeah.
I go up to the next guy, and he's looking through it.
And, you know, he doesn't have a jersey on.
I got nothing to work with. Nothing. He's just a normal loser. Yeah and he's looking through it. And, you know, he doesn't have a jersey on. I got nothing to work with.
Nothing.
He's just a normal loser.
Wearing Ralph Lauren.
I don't know anyone named Ralph.
Polo.
I play.
I play polo back in England.
I say Marco.
You say.
Polo.
Ariel's fine.
Yeah.
He goes, he looks.
He's like, all right, you're good.
You're good.
And he takes a look at the piece of paper.
He's like, who let you in with this? I was like in with this god i mean that was the worst thing you could have said
i was like uh that guy over there in the rockies jersey he said it looked great big cat and he was
like i mean i've never seen anything like this get through and i was like well i mean it's got
my social at the top and i'm trying to explain what i do for a living sure you know like it's
hard for me to get pay stubs i I swear like this is from my accountant.
You could have showed like the email like that.
It's not from me.
It's from not that that's
like that much more legit.
But it's from somebody else.
So therefore it's legit.
Yeah.
And so I'm trying to explain
what I do and it's not
really working, but he's
still looking over it.
So I'm like, you know,
I'm going to say more.
It's time.
It's time to pull.
It's time to pull it out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I pull it out.
Yeah.
And a couple couple females in the area here like no way no way and then they get like giving my guy
a hard time like you need to get him going on tour with you he is so funny he's always cracking
jokes the the dmv guy the guy my like uh my my officer or whatever yeah and so then i'm like
officer that sounds so official we're going to we're we're going to Alabama on Sunday. You got to come with this man. We need an opener or something.
You're so desperate. Making it seem like he's going to open up for us on tour. And he's like,
yeah, man, he canceled on us. Joe Deuce is Kentucky only. Yeah. Brad Deuce is, you know,
he's got a family. It's tough for him to get out of the road. Yeah. He's a family man.
You could be, what's your name? Oh, Ralph. ralph deuce ralph deuce ralph deucey ralph deucey yeah so i'm buttering him up and uh anyway he was super
nice he didn't let the paper fly but he's like maybe if you can like log in who do you do your
taxes with and i was like turbo tax he's like you could maybe do that and so okay um he let me like
go to my email super quickly find a a document. He let me through.
Shout out Ralph Lauren.
Yeah.
Oh, one thing I just remembered too.
He was like, all right, you're good to go.
Oh, can I have you take a look in the, in the whatever, the thing for me?
I was like, oh no, am I going to do like the signs test again?
Remember we did that when you were 16?
Oh yeah.
Like what are these signs?
And I'm like, I didn't study for this.
I got really nervous for a split second.
And then it was just like a vision thing. I was like, oh, I feel good there.
Okay.
Last time my vision was tested, it was like 15, 20 or whatever the good one is.
That's very good.
Well, they have changed.
Either my vision has changed or they have upped the difficulty.
It was like, he was like, can you read the bottom line for me?
It's like bottom line.
Well, he was going, he was going, if he can do that one, he can do it all.
Oh, I was, I started sweating.
It was like, it might as well been in Arabic. I'm like closing one eye but like i've never had to do
this to see and i'm i'm putting question marks i'm like yeah right yeah like billy madison are
you going to the mall i was gonna i was asking you a question right uh but i guess i passed i
don't know just beware if you have to get your driver's license renewed you're gonna have to
read the bottom line i bet if you it's impossible if you feel the bottom line though i bet they go three lines up
or something like i didn't think about that i bet it's not like i bet if you get like half of them
right down there he's like yeah he can see fine because like maybe that's what it was because
blind people drive all the time just write it down i'm pretty positive so yeah that was not a fun
position to be in i'm like putting question marks yeah it is it is rough okay no i do that the optometrist like i'm like really yeah i think
and they're like yeah you're fine if you think it's an h or an r you're pretty close like
you know what a stop sign is right yeah it's it's eight side it's red it says stop on it
you can figure out my three-year-old daughter knows what a stop sign is
um anyway that's that's funny so you're good on the driver's license.
I'm good.
Except they gave me, they don't print you off like a card there.
I feel like back in the day they would print you off a card.
No, never.
No.
At least not in Kansas.
Okay.
Yeah, they gave me basically a receipt.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you get one in the mail.
Okay.
Yeah, you'll be good.
So I'm just driving around with a receipt.
I'm like, am I supposed to like take this to like a bar or restaurant with me?
Yes.
Really? Yeah. I took a picture of it. I don't know if that works. I've been traveling
with my passport a lot. It's kind of fun. You know, it makes you feel legit. Oh yeah. I travel
all the time. It's just easier. Like, Oh yeah. This guy passport. Oh, speaking of alcohol had
moonshine this week. Really? Yeah. In Alabama it was like, it's our treat. We just had the guy from
TLCs, uh, you know, moonshiners deluxe. I was some show I've never heard of.
I don't know.
Yeah.
This is the guy from the show gave us this.
It's like, I guess we gotta, gotta try it.
Would you try it again?
It was like, um, you know, you guys probably don't know.
You actually have moonshine in your house right now.
Just eat the sanitizer that you've been washing your hands with.
That's moonshine.
That's what I imagine it being like turpentine or something like, or like paint thinner,
like, like just very strong, like clear liquid.
It was fine.
I got it down, but it was, uh, I was warm.
Really?
Head to toe.
Yeah.
Warm.
Yeah.
Feeling, feeling nice and cozy.
You take a nice nap when the thunderstorm after that.
Oh yeah.
For sure.
Sweet home Alabama.
Wow.
Okay.
We're already, uh, hour 25.
I, uh, you know me, man. I i'm always i'm always down for it for as long
as as long as it takes well i'm thinking if we might record tomorrow maybe we keep some of the
hopper yeah true okay or at least i don't even know when i fly this week let's go we got let's
at least do one voicemail let's at least do one and then we'll end it um you have one that sticks
out to you from your memory, Brad?
Trying to remember.
No, not from my memory.
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, I like the Graham Dodd one.
That was what I was going to play. Oh, perfect, yeah.
Yo, yo, this is Graham Dodd.
I feel like it was finally time to leave a voice memo on here, having listened to every
episode, which I know
is not crazy, but I've been faithful.
Y'all mentioned Yo-Yo Ma on this last week's episode.
And pre-COVID, I traveled to every continent except Antarctica
with him as a photo assistant.
He's an amazing, super genuine guy.
But this leads me to my question, which is,
where's the strangest or coolest place you've gone to the bathroom?
I have a top five list that I keep as a joke and update from time to time.
For me, I'd say it was the Atacama Desert while watching the sunrise.
I'm going to Google that.
Not bad.
Yeah, me too.
A backup question is, if you were arrested with no explanation,
what would your friends and family assume you had done?
Bummed I missed you in Nashville, Jake.
I'm sure I'll be in Kansas City soon.
I appreciate you guys and really do enjoy listening every week.
And shout out to my boys, Drew and LJ.
Love and miss you guys.
Bye-bye.
Come on.
Graham.
Drew and LJ.
Thanks for the voicemail.
I felt bad for Graham.
I had to give him the COVID excuse.
Like I was target in the printer section to Graham this week.
Really?
Because he lives in Nashville.
He was trying to come to the show.
Oh, okay.
I was like, you had COVID? Then I didn't know this. And then they were like, well, we're going to limit it to 30 because
of COVID. Like, yeah, but you have literally an Ikea for this whole thing. Like, yeah, I think
he'd be fine. Like he can just hang out over there in the bathroom section. This dude loves going to
the bathroom. I'm sure you would love it. I'm looking at pictures of the Atacama desert and
it looks like a fun place to, did you see the hand yeah that's pretty crazy that's interesting that that's a piece of
artwork yeah i was gonna say that's not natural that seems like something i should have seen at
some point or they should have shot the scene from god's thumb there i mean that's that's god's
whole hand yeah yell gnats is all over that thing yell gnats um that's cool i wish i had kept track
i haven't kept track of bathrooms but i've kept a mental note of the best,
like coolest,
most scenic outdoor basketball courts that I've seen in my travels.
There's like two specifically I could think of just when I've traveled.
I just like come upon this like outdoor court.
I'm like,
whoa,
this is gorgeous.
Sorry.
That's something my throat.
The reaction was better than the actual burp.
Power through it.
Sorry.
Two basketball courts.
That's it.
Whatever.
We can get to this question.
Okay.
Yeah, that's great.
Rob Perez.
You ever follow him on Twitter?
No.
He's really good.
Really good.
He follows the NBA and stuff.
Anyway, he has a bunch of followers, and they always send him cool pictures of basketball
courts all around the world.
Oh.
It's really cool.
That's sweet.
Like you'll have like ones on, you know, top of skyscrapers and you'll have one in like
the desert or, you know, whatever, anywhere and everywhere they have basketball.
So my answer.
Yeah.
Good question.
No, go for it.
I don't have like a specific answer, but it made me, it reminded me of a time in college.
My freshman year, I lived in the dorms.
Was one of those guys, you know? No, I'm just kidding. It was awesome. But it was a classic
like dorm freshman year thing to do. Our RA decided like, Hey, I think this would be really
fun or whatever. I don't know how it got started. But if we tried to go to the bathroom in every
single hall on campus or every single building on K state's campus.
And so I knew some guys in college who were trying that. Yeah. And it's K state's a big
place. There's lots of little small buildings everywhere. So we had a whole list of everything.
And it was like, and I think people were trying to poop and potty and I don't know why I said
potty poop and you know, whatever. I don't want to tinkle. tinkle yeah um urinate in every single one of them and so
it was like like you would come back you'd be like dude i got i got throckmorton today you know
you did i got home burger you know whatever like not bad spacious stalls yeah so that's about as
crazy as i got was just yeah some yeah just trying to i don't know if we ever got all of them or not
i wasn't super into it to be honest but it was kind of fun that's something to do yeah in college classic freshman year thing
uh you have anything in mind for if you committed a crime what people would say it was for maybe we
should answer these for each other honestly i was trying to think of what i would say for you and
for me and i think either of us is just like complete negligence and just like your responsibility
yours is definitely tax fraud right like like i'm decently worried like in the back of my head that i'm like doing something wrong i
don't know it you know what i mean like i'm just like yeah somebody's gonna come to my house
someday and be like you didn't do this i was like i didn't know i was supposed to i mean
probability wise that's got to be the most likely thing to happen yes we we were negligent or i just
drive away drove drive well i just drove away too fast.
I don't know.
I speed a lot,
but I don't,
I don't, I don't speed by like 50 miles an hour.
Not enough to get arrested.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
It had to be something.
Do you ever want to like have a reason to speed?
Like,
like,
like your wife's having a baby.
Like seriously,
I want Catherine to be like in deep labor to where I can just like go a hundred miles an hour.
And if the cop pulls me over,
I'll just like go like this and be like, she's having a baby. I'm a deep labor to where I can just like go a hundred miles an hour. And if the cop pulls me over, I'll just like go like this and be like,
she's having a baby.
I'm a deep labor.
Yeah.
And then he like escorts me to be awesome.
He's like,
how deep?
Pretty deep.
Cause I've seen shallow labor and that's nothing to speed about.
No,
no,
no.
Deep labor.
Yeah.
Like 40 meters down that deep 40 meters.
Technically it's 40 centimeters, but but still that's still a lot you
should see this thing worried it might be triplets we didn't know yeah let's just say we're playing
rugby with this ball i don't know like a rugby ball rugby balls are bigger than footballs
what would you say let's just say we're playing basketball let's say hey neighbor neighbor's playing basketball
no i mean kurt he were my neighbor um yeah he neutered it and now we're playing basketball
with it um let's see i'm trying to think something else yeah i mean it would have to be something
like you know white collar crime on accident i don't think uh right we would do anything
purposefully illegal i didn't know that dumping was illegal for the longest time oh yeah i think i was the one who had to tell you that maybe so yeah like that's
what that means yeah i was just like hy-v had a dumpster and i was like i need to go throw some
trash away they got a big dumpster back it's basically empty yeah it said no dumping i was
like of course i'm not gonna poop in this dumpster whoever's doing that needs to stop because they
had to spray paint their wall just to tell you not to dump seriously seriously stop guys guys
So it yeah, yeah, anyway, no dumping. So maybe I just be maybe I have public
Yeah
I have something like that too that maybe I don't know is illegal right now
Probably like driving with the driver's license that's expired by a lot of time actually that that's exactly it. That would be my thing
Yeah, we're good now sometimes when you go like certain airports
They'll have like weird signs for things you like didn't even know were illegal.
It'd be like, like I remember seeing one.
Where was it?
Like Miami or somewhere.
And it was just like, do not traffic birds into our country.
Dang it.
I don't know if this is like a sign you have on display.
Like, I don't think enough people like Miami, though.
Maybe they bring all those Cuban birds over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what they are.
All they're known for that.
Q birds.
Uh, anyway.
But yeah, I love those signs that like make you aware of a law that like, I would have
never had to worry about this.
Just like the South African, uh, parrot is not allowed in terminal C.
No way.
Don't bring it.
The Nigerian swallow.
Keep it at home.
Keep it at home.
That's what we always say.
Keep it in Nigeria.
And it, I mean, check it maybe, but not in your carry ons guys.
Things can shift. Things could shift in the flight. Yeah. We check it, maybe, but not in your carry-ons, guys. Not in the carry-on, guys.
Things can shift.
Things can shift in the flight.
Yeah, we know.
We know if it's in the carry-on.
We've tried to hold their feathers down, but the rubber bands don't hold well, and they
get out of them, all right?
They shimmy.
It creates a ruckus.
Graham Dodd, though, thanks for the voice memo.
He is a season one-er, I would say.
If we're breaking the podcast down to seasons.
Episode one, season one.
Graham Dodd was the first villain we
ever had and it was Braden
yeah yeah then Braden took over
Connor yeah Connor
and Graham were you know kind of on the same plane as far
as like no real reason but I'm
just gonna dislike him you know like
I've never actually talked to Graham met Graham in my
life but I just was like I'm never gonna respond to this guy
I'm never gonna answer this guy
so do we have a villain now uh karen m probably karen m's a big one i really expected
some sort of feedback from one of the karens this week got nothing i'm telling you i think it's fake
i'm i'm continuing on that conspiracy yeah um i don't know i'm sure we have a villain out there
but it's kind of like the the good part of the movie right now like where everything's going
well this is like the montage part i love the montage parts dude yeah like jake's watching
the chiefs game and performing yeah life's good yeah right absolutely the villain is probably the
nashville warehouse for me right now that was my villain maybe so yeah maybe there's a villain out
there that we think is not a villain there's a twist like. Maybe Trey. Trey? Harrison?
Oh, Harrison would be a great villain. That would be the movie aspect.
Because we know Harrison,
but we don't know Harrison.
We don't know Harrison.
I mean, he's been number one
in my power rankings,
but come on.
That's exactly where he wants you
to put him.
That's it.
12.55 a.m., okay?
Oh, wow.
It's later than I thought.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
What order do we this 82 episodes i
just don't know do we do reviews and reviews okay reviews of the week um i'm gonna do several
reviews just because y'all been hitting it hard with the fake reviews and i'm glad that you're
gonna do those because i'm never going to read one of those reviews i'm not gonna read yours man
i'm just gonna you guys don't have to keep doing them but they are funny uh i'm just gonna read
the topics that you guys have said this podcast is
about um this one says i'm running better than ever you know this is how like and some funny
office quotes i've walked two marathons pretty sure i can handle a 5k um this exterminator
podcast is taking my house to the next level um let's see uh best cpa exam prep that's a good one uh all over i i just want i i hope somebody
down the road like started our podcast you know like last week on you know episode one but they
read the reviews before they walk like let's try it and they're like yeah i was so confused by all
these reviews and now i understand uh one used the word podophile, which is pretty good.
I've never heard that before.
I didn't see that.
Yeah, they're like, I guess that makes me a podophile or something.
I was like, that's pretty good.
Other topics.
They say this is a if you ever needed advice for your lion breeding program, this is the
pod you need to listen to.
It covers what not to do if your lion will poop or will not poop.
Whatever. Number one, archaeology podcast podcast um goodness this is so great uh another
one about running and another one about uh bowling so you guys are crushing it you're like really
found a lot of different topics to talk about well on the same theme my review of the week is coming
from vol fan 37135 and this this one like made me audibly laugh out loud. And that
does not happen. I don't have it on my screen, so I can't wait to see. So, so first of all,
I thought it was a fake review because it said, Brad can't dry his back and neither can John.
I was like, okay, clearly like, yeah, they're making fun. Like they don't know our real names,
like Brad and Jake, obviously. Um, no, but this, but this girl, she said, I've been listening to this pod for a while. I started around episode
70 and we listened to listen to my listen with my fiance. I think is what's supposed to say,
but I decided I'd go back and listen from the beginning as I've been listening through from
the beginning. I feel like I need to thank you for just being dudes and honest about your habits.
You're welcome. We're getting married in June and I have real anxiousness.
I think it's anxiety about living with a boy because of his lack of teeth brushing,
ability to dry his back after showering, love of fast food, frequency of sheet washing,
texting and driving, et cetera.
You two talk about doing a lot of things that my fiance does that makes me feel better about
him just being a normal guy.
And this is my favorite sentence right here. It says, I just think if Catherine can
live with Brad, I can live with John. Like that's when I laughed out loud. You're the litmus test.
Like, like she's like, if Catherine can put up with this guy, you know, I could do it too.
If Catherine could put up with this, just like poor excuse for a man, just this upturned room
back in a trailer you know i could probably
be fine with john so anyway says thanks for a great pod and for helping me feel better about
getting married bye-bye um so anyway it's i just loved i loved all of it i love that she recognized
that we're just like normal guys like being honest and not trying to be too flashy obviously
you're being real about everything.
So,
um,
and I think it's so true.
Like Catherine would probably be like,
yeah,
seriously.
Um,
so that's a great review.
Thank you guys.
We've been getting a lot of reviews for a while now.
So thank you guys.
We're going to have a thousand reviews sometime soon.
We have like 840 right now.
I bet we have a thousand eventually.
I think we'll have a thousand before we go to episode 100. what a fun race that'll be that will be crazy that will be crazy
we should live stream from now until we hit one just keep it up like the zoo like live streams
births of you know whatever whatever fill in the blank hippopotamus yeah yeah yeah hip-hop anonymous
yeah that is kind of fun people get very excited about new
births at the zoo yeah i love animals i've never watched one i don't care about like the process
of it birthing i guess i guess i'm kind of interested to see how big of a baby that animal
is going to be like if it's a if it's a brand new elephant how big is that elephant yeah like how
big is the egg it comes out of can i lift a baby elephant i don't think so no no no no baby giraffe i think you could lift a baby giraffe you'd have to bend
down and like lift with your legs kind of like isaac bin yeah you'd have to pull your head on
the uh cabinet but okay i don't know where you're grabbing a giraffe so i guess underneath oh yeah
i go yeah absolutely underneath yeah in between the two. One two leg, three four leg.
Right in between.
Like it's a table.
Yeah.
That's how I left my tables
running by myself late at night.
Isn't it weird that a giraffe
is an animal?
It's awesome.
Like look at it.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Isn't it so much easier to believe
that a unicorn could be real
rather than a giraffe?
Yeah, plop a horn on a horse.
That's fine.
That's fine because we have horns on.
A narwhal's real.
We plopped a horn on a whale. Yeah's fine. That's fine because we have horns on a narwhal's real you we plopped a horn Oh, well, yeah, we're fine with that that exists
But yeah, you show a child two images and like which one of these is real like the giraffe is obviously fake, right?
He's like photoshopped his neck. Yes. It's genetically modified horse. Yes. Yeah, that is a
Liger but for horses. Yes. It's like one of those. It's like a Norwalk horse.
It's a Norse.
Norse.
You know those women who have the African neck rings?
It's like a sign of wealth and beauty if you can get your neck longer. Yes, I do know those women.
Yes, I do.
Yes.
Yes.
They're very sweet.
Very kind.
They are.
They make really good oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
You said that so funny.
I know.
I struggled.
That is where the giraffes come from, I think.
Same culture, probably. Oatmeal chocolate. They wanted the horse to seem more lavish. They started slapping some rings on it. he said that's so funny i know that is where the giraffes come from i think same culture probably
meal chocolate yeah they wanted the horse to seem more lavish they started slapping some rings on
it next thing you know darwin holy cow things up there all right enough wow okay oh we can't
let's do the jingle yes scs okay you ready holiday season baby yeah here we go here we go hey
one time for big daddy merry christmas happy ghost running merry christmas
merry christmas merry christmas happy ghost running Ghost running Yeah Ooh yeah Listeners been waiting
All year for this time
The fan account starts asking
For some dimes
And all Ghost Nation
Wants to make Venmo chime
Enough shopping for some
Animaz on Prime And all the love we'll show Enough shopping for some anime as I'm primed
And all the love we'll show
Is all the ghosties know
It's Christmas time
And like Michael Scott said
The gifts you go and spread
Says we love you this summer, Mount of Bread
Over episode 80
Feel the love on IG
from Caden to Katie
it's that time of year
the fan account is here
and with blessings from us all
maybe some pickle falls
and all the ghosties say
Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Happy Ghost
Running
Not very good at the verses
Time for voting
Will Brad get soap
That smells
Can we get
Natasha Bure cell
Maybe something For both the boys to wear
Hurry up cause there's not time to spare
And all the love will show
Cause all the ghosties know
It's Christmas time
And like Michael Scott said
The gifts you do go spread
Says we love you this amount of bread
Executing our big plan
Feel the love from Emily from Linus to Oman
It's that time of year
The fan account is here
And with the blessings from us all
May you some pickle balls And all the ghosties say,
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Happy Ghost Running.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, glad get some gifts that are not bad it's christmas time merry christmas yeah brad
merry christmas big daddy merry christmas happy singing everybody merry christmas
merry christmas merry christmas and happy holiday It's a wonderful feeling
With love in the room from the floor to the ceiling
It's that time of year
Christmas time is here
With the blessings from us all
Maybe some pickleballs
And all the ghosties say
Merry Christmas, happy holidays
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas, happy holidays Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, happy ghost running
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
And happy ghost running
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, guys.
Wow.
From all of us here at the Ghost Runners.
That was a long song.
You crushed it.
Great job.
I didn't crush it.
I don't know that song very well.
You crushed.
I know.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, fine.
Whatever.
Thank you.
But hey.
That was, it was written by Kirstie Swick.
And we didn't catch the lyrics.
Yeah.
To remind you guys that there's a fan account out there.
She was like, I know, like, make sure you tell people it's written by me because it's
like us asking for money.
We're not asking for money, but there's a fan account out there called Ghost Runners on Second
that's raising money to
buy us some gifts. So if you like us,
send stuff there, but don't worry
about it if you're not. Anyway, Ghost Runners
on Second. Ghost Runners on Second.
Spelled Ghost Runners on...
Seriously, not a big deal, but I mean, it is
easy to find on Instagram. Any amount helps.
Ghost Runners on Second.
Not a big deal. She accepts Venmo, Cash App, even PayPal.
They have an app.
Yeah.
Ghost Runners on second.
But seriously.
Let's get some gifts.
It doesn't even matter.
Let's get some Christmas.
I don't check it that often.
Yeah, but I would do.
Yeah, but not bad.
Okay.
Episode 82.
We did it.
Yeah.
Thank you all for listening.
We really appreciate you guys.
And I hope you have a great week. Great week.
Love you guys. Love you guys.