Ghostrunners - 88 - My Basement is an Instant Pot
Episode Date: January 11, 2021Jake's living situation is so amazing right now that he no longer has any incentive to get married. Brad saw a locally sourced turkey. Also this is the closest episode we'll ever have to being a true ...crime podcast. Become a Patron and get exclusive content from Jake & Brad: https://bit.ly/2XJ1h3y Watch this episode on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3cQSPnw Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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So my parents have this really weird quirk.
My parents are, they're getting up there in age.
I'm the youngest, as we know.
My sisters are 10 years older than me,
eight years older than me.
So my parents are like 65-ish.
Okay.
So just, you know, just enough age
to where they've been wise for a while now.
Okay.
But one of their quirks, they're getting old
and some of their quirks are just great,
especially my dad.
My dad has lots of old man quirks.
But the one that my mom has started doing for my mom and dad is they both have Fitbit watches.
Okay. And so they're kind of like Apple watches, but you can't, you can't actually talk on the
phone with them, but you can answer your phone that's connected to Bluetooth on them.
Oh, how convenient, right? It's like, it's like you can see text messages, but you can't answer
them. You can see who's calling you and you can answer it, but you can't talk on it.
They have a pager on their wrist.
More or less.
So my parents, probably two times in the last week, I would call them and they would answer
it on their watch.
Smart.
But it was, you know, in the other room somewhere.
And I just hear my mom be like, Brad! Brad, we're trying to find the phone!
We're trying to find the phone,
and we'll be there in just a second!
Hold on!
Don't hang up!
Don't hang up!
And I can't hear them.
I mean, they can't hear me, I mean.
They can't hear me.
I can hear them from a,
so I'm just like listening on the phone.
Like, is that not like the most like,
my parents are old thing you could ever heard of?
Dean!
Check under the bed, Dean!
Hey, Dean!
Did you take it with you
to the bathroom? I saw
you in there! Slide it under the door!
Slide it under!
Oh, man.
This is the Ghost Runners Podcast.
Ghost Runners Podcast.
Every Monday morning we're taking
back Ghost Runners Podcast.
Ghost Runners Podcast. Ghost Runners Podcast. Okay. What a week, Brad. This is our 88th week of our life since we started a podcast.
I can feel it.
You could feel that I've had a week?
No, 88th week.
Oh.
I can feel the eight. I don't know anything about your week.
I'm not feeling you.
No, I'm not feeling you. I've never felt you.
No.
No, I can feel the 88th week. Yeah. I don't like my microphone like this. I'm changing feeling you. No, I'm not feeling you. I've never felt you. No, no. I can feel the 88th week. Yeah. I don't, I don't like my microphone like this. I'm changing
it back. He's audibling. He's audibling. Big cat did it that way. I'm not doing like big cat.
I've been listening to them a lot recently. They're really funny. They're good. Good job.
If you're listening, uh, big cat and PFT. Yeah. Thanks. Hank. Good job. Good job. Good job with
what you do. Yeah. Uh. Where to start, Brad?
I, K-Life, former youth ministry I used to work for, had, they hosted a pickleball tournament this week.
And gosh, I'm jealous I couldn't go.
Why couldn't you?
Because I was tending to my daughter.
Okay.
No, because I had the vid.
Which one?
Okay.
Actually, I've been writing jokes.
Look at this joke.
Wait, for the people in omaha
or just for comedy's sake no for the people in omaha um let me find it real fast thing sorry i'm
i'm derailing us um what do you call it when people video chat on the computer during a pandemic
co-video conferencing. Nice. Yeah.
That's fine.
They're going to love it.
That's going to pass.
Oh my gosh.
That's going to pass.
That comes across Sandra's desk
and she's going to freak.
Say it.
Hey!
Over here!
Co-video!
Do you get it?
It's this pandemic
going around.
COVID.
Yeah.
And he says,
so he's doing the video
and the COVID thing.
Dean!
Dean!
Dean!
You've got to listen to this one. No. Harry, you're going to love this. Harry.. Dean! Dean! Dean! You gotta listen to this one.
No, Harry, you're gonna love this.
Harry, Harry, come over here.
I'm gonna run this up, but we gotta print it, right?
I mean, this is not gonna be funny.
Three months from now, we gotta print it out.
Mrs. Marshall, it's time right now.
M&M's mom?
Is this Mrs. Marshall?
No, no, this is, hey, come here, come here.
Sarah, Sarah, what do you call,
what do you call Santa's highest ranking helper?
The alpha male.
Sarah.
That's good.
That is rich.
Alpha male.
Alpha male.
I liked that one.
That is good.
What's computer nerds favorite country singer?
Ooh.
Uh, Johnny Cash.
C-H-E. that's a deep one you gotta you gotta know some
computer knowledge for that one dang that's good that's good that's good that's good shan just
gonna love it you got a good life all right sorry k-life so k-life video i tried i tried to co-video
conference in yes doesn't work with pickleball no um gun was able to go. I think something about his sister's
wedding or something. Yeah.
Where do these excuses come from?
Yeah. Who has sisters that get married these days?
Sisters get married. Virus.
Respiratory. I guess. Whatever.
Talk to your immune system.
Look it in the eye. Talk to your sister via a
video conference. She'll understand. You can
go video conference in that wedding. It's fine.
People do it all the time these days.
Isaac and I played in it together, which can go video conference in that wedding. Fine. Yeah. People do it all the time these days, but Isaac and I played it in it together,
which was really fun.
That's how we met like five years ago through K life.
And now,
you know,
full circle,
I don't know if it's full circle,
but it's some sort of,
it's not,
it's a shape.
Yeah.
Yeah. You're still on the,
the circle is continuous.
So you're,
you're still somewhere around there.
It's like,
we're starting the game of mash and we're just going around and around.
Oh,
let's stop.
Play pickleball tournament. All right right let's keep going going oh
you're gonna live in a shack oh but you're married to megan fox and isaac built the shack so it's a
really nice shack it looks like furniture yeah it's awesome you can fit two dogs or one human
in there to megan fox i remember that i would be like i don't care i don't care if i'm in a mansion
i don't get married to j Simpson. So what's the point?
We would always do mash.
We're like, yeah, there was like Jessica Simpson, like, uh, Jamie Lynn Spears.
And then also like Forrest Wheeler, like the girl, like sitting next to us in class.
Oh, okay.
Like there was like, I don't know who that is.
Like some, like just real girls.
We knew they were on the same level.
A hundred percent.
It was always that, that one crush you had.
Yeah.
Jenna was my crush back in fifth grade.
Jenna Stoltenberg.
Please. What's she up to now? She back in fifth grade. Jenna Stoltenberg. Please.
What's she up to now?
She's a real estate.
She actually, her clients. You're so excited.
No, her clients bought Trey's old house.
Her clients bought.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Jenna Stoltenberg.
So she made money off Trey's old house.
Dang.
We're all making money off Trey.
That's a full circle.
I'm done with that circle.
Yeah.
We're all making money. Thanks, Trey. Thank you circle. I'm done with that circle. Yeah, we're all making money.
Thanks, Trey.
Thank you, Trey.
Trey Bebe.
So, yeah, we got to play in this pickleball tournament, and Scott Sell and his wife played
in it.
Okay.
I tried to get some of my other pickleball friends to play in it, too, and it was fun.
We won.
Did you win easily?
Was there competition?
There were 24 teams.
I would say 19 of them were, like, high schoolers still involved in K-Life. Sure. And there were five teams i would say 19 of them were like high schoolers still involved in k life sure and
there were five teams that were decent a couple other teams that were really good and we had to
play very well to win okay it was fun having people watch us play though you don't really get
a lot of people watching you and pickleball and they're probably pretty into it too yeah because
our game looked very different than what they had been playing all day so i think they were like oh
this is cool i remember even the first time I went to Chicken and Pickle,
when I got into it,
I went to it for Matthew's birthday
that one time.
And I remember watching the guys
on the competitive court play
and looking back,
they were fine.
But I remember being like,
I'm never even going to go over there.
Well, you know,
I could never try to get in.
He probably played pro tennis.
Yeah.
I mean, no way he just picked me up.
That guy's at least in a IA.
Is Pete Sampras your cousin?
Right. Got to be related to someone. Surely surely your Mario Sharapova's aunt or something They saw a bald guys like that's gotta be Andre Agassi's nephew. That's that's the nephew of Agassi right there. That's right
So we want to pick Walter it was fun been pickling a lot. Good job. I pickled twice yesterday
I forgot I kind of double-booked myself on accident. So I did a little to a day
It's great knees were barking, but still going strong.
Is that what you feel the most in the knees?
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Nothing else ever hurts, but.
My feet always hurt when I get done.
You're welcome.
What have you done this week?
Not much, man.
Honestly, like I told you a little bit off the pod, but I not, first of all, love
our marriage is unconditional love. I'm just going to say it right now. I'm going to preface it that
way. You and I like on the podcast. Well, sure. Okay. I hope, I would hope that if I screwed you
up, you would still love me. Okay. No matter what. Um, I was talking about Catherine and I, but, uh,
she just put in obviously tons of work whenever I was feeling ill and quarantining,
watching 10 movies a day.
Yeah.
And so I'm like,
not that I truly like felt like I had to,
but I wanted to help her a little bit more around the house this week.
And still,
I I'm still not feeling a hundred percent.
Um,
and so just honestly just sat around a lot with my kids and with my wife and
just hung out and it was great.
Um,
did some cleaning up around
the house, organizing some stuff. I decided I'm going to hang up some of my t-shirts. Yeah.
These are awesome updates. Um, today I went to Cabela's. Okay, dude, I know you don't have kids,
but if you ever have kids, it's a great place to go with them. They, have you been to Cabela's?
No, dude. Kids love camouflage. No Cabela's is nuts. They they have you been to cabela's no dude kids love camouflage
no cabela's is nuts they love fake deer so cabela's is a bass pro shops i think it might
even be owned by kids love escalators kids love deer and elevators she did love the elevator okay
no cabela's has like i don't want to exaggerate 500 stuffed animals stuffed like taxidermied animals. And I'm talking like real animals,
like ferrets and deer.
Give me,
give me a whole,
it has the largest display of mule deer.
I was wondering who held that record.
And you knew that it was like somewhere around here.
I was probably like,
that's a Kansas record.
It seems local,
but I don't know where to go to see it.
I mean,
polar bears,
elephants,
lions.
Yes.
They have like a display of like a lion fighting an alligator or crocodile, excuse me.
Whoa.
And it was awesome.
Who wins in a lion crocodile fight?
It sure looked like the crocodile was winning.
No way.
I'll be honest.
The crocodile was huge.
Yeah, but their mobility.
I think it was like, it said 11 to 15 feet normally or something like that.
Those are big crocs.
15 feet.
What size of your Crocs do you have?
Size 12.
Do I have been loving those Crocs by the way?
Really?
They're, they're terrible looking, but they are so comfy.
I need to start wearing mine.
Oh, you gotta.
Especially just around the house.
I think I'm going to like designate a spot.
That's what I'm going to do.
That'll make me wear it.
Like when I go to insert, fill in the blank.
When I go to Target, I put on the, maybe not Target.
I need to make the most of those the Crocs. Maybe not Target. I need to make
the most of those opportunities. Maybe Walmart.
When I go to Walmart, I go,
yeah, that's my Crocs spot.
My Crocs spot is
every morning when I get out of bed, I slip on the Crocs.
Walk on into the kitchen,
press the Nespresso machine on,
and start my day. That is adorable, Brad.
Yeah, let me tell you.
Well, let's get back to Lion vs. Croc.
I feel like
crocodile strong bites, strong bite, big old bite, but a human like can take on a croc.
If you know what you're doing, I don't think a human can take on a lion. Yeah, that's true.
But when was the last time and be honest about this, that you saw a 15 foot tall human
laying down or standing up I saw
be honest
spring of 96
you did
I thought I saw one
we measured him
he was 13 and a half
so it was like
pretty good
that's pretty good
but it was not 15
do you think that he
could take on a lion
maybe yeah
yeah yeah maybe
you've heard of
Daniel and the lions
then have you heard
of that guy
the lions then
maybe
Daniel took
Daniel took on a bunch
yeah he did
so don't give me that
you know with god all
things are possibles anyway good for cabela's dude it's really cool i'm i'm genuinely like
like i would go i would go by yourself if you're ever like i'm looking for something to do right
now oh just a nice walk around just like i wonder what's going on with those things. Like, I mean, rams, goats, polar bears, grizzly bears.
Do they have birds?
Like any kind of bird?
Like ostrich?
They do have some birds.
Yeah.
Hattie was like, dad, look at that turkey back there.
I didn't even see the turkey because there were so many animals around.
Blended turkey.
Yeah.
And you know what?
It was from Shawnee, Kansas.
It said on there.
It's a local turkey.
Yeah, it was a local turkey.
It's a shop local.
That's right.
Good for them. Good for them. Yeah. A lot of Cabela's. I mean, they. It's a local turkey. Yeah, it was a local turkey. It's a shop local. That's right. Good for them.
Good for them. Yeah. A lot of Cabela's. I mean, they'll get turkeys from anywhere.
They'll do it. Yeah. Don't even
think about it. Wisconsin turkeys. In Texas?
What is this? Come on.
It's 2021. Come on. Just
get local. I want locally sourced
honey and turkeys. That's what they say. It's good for you.
It's because of the tryptophan. Wait, why is
locally sourced honey good for you? It's because of the tryptophan. Wait, why is locally sourced honey good for you?
It's something about like the allergies that you like the pollen and or whatever I think
is specific.
It like wards off allergies like that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Good for humans for like realizing that.
So they say, you know, honestly, let's not get too far into this, but I don't I don't
fully believe anything anymore. I don't believe it sucks. I don't believe anything. That's that's too bad is this but i don't i don't fully believe anything anymore
i don't believe it sucks i don't believe anything that's that's too bad is what i meant to say
sorry mom stink it stink that seriously though okay like every time i read something i'm like
i think that's true except for sports you could adam schefter could say you know lebron james
broke both of his legs and he's done playing for the rest of his career i believe him but besides
that i don't believe anybody but that's Yeah. That's the only thing I believe.
Yeah. Adam Schefter. Really? Yeah. Let me try to think of something I saw this week, Brad,
and you tell me if you believe it or not. Um, I'm gonna tell you right now. No,
that didn't last long. Okay. As of now, this podcast does not believe anything that we see or
read. Not completely. I'm talking like, I'm talking like I might 99% believe it,
but there's still a part of me that's like,
I don't really know.
I don't know if I fully trust it.
Yeah.
I hate that, dude.
I get what you're saying.
I hate it.
Yeah.
Didn't used to be that way.
So thanks for coming, guys.
Everyone grab a seat.
Get settled.
Grab your notebook.
What were we talking about, Cabela?
Oh, just like what you did this week. Oh Oh Cabela's flying. Let's talk about something else
I did I watched both diehards which there's lots of diehards was like five I watched I heard one or two so good
So I don't have to get into that too much watch the diehard again with Catherine celebrate my anniversary. Oh January 4th Torchy's tacos
Yeah, it was good. I tried to get some people to go to Torchy's tacos yesterday
Hey guys, no, I was a group of five people. None of them had gone to Torchy's Tacos. Yeah, it was good. I tried to get some people to go to Torchy's Tacos yesterday. I was in a group of five people.
None of them had gone to Torchy's before.
I was like, oh, we got to go.
He said, what do they have there?
I said, what do you think, Cameron?
What do you think Torchy's Tacos has?
Let's think here, Cameron.
And I knew right then and there he wasn't going to go to Torchy's Tacos.
Because you weren't going to sell them on it very well.
Well, he had to ask what they have.
And I was like, you don't seem like you're in the mood for tacos.
So you're like, well, what?
Yeah, like you're looking for something else. Like, do they have like blackberry bean dip or something? Do they have cannolis? what they have and i was like you don't seem like you're in the mood for tacos so you're like well what yeah like you're looking for something else like they have like
blackberry bean dip or something do they have cannolis they got cannolis there they got like
mexican cannolis they have amazing tacos cameron amazing tacos i i asked katherine the other day
i said during during torchy taco dinner if you could have any uh restaurant that we don't have
right now within like one mile of our house what would it be just drinks she didn't say that she
said torches i think it's a good answer that That is a good answer. Cause it's pretty far
away from our house. I would like a Whataburger really close to my house so I can go there. My
Crocs after 11 PM. Whataburger is definitely a good crock spot. Whataburger day in my crock
spot, crock spot, high five. What if they had like, like similar, you know, like the McGruff
houses back in the day.
You remember those Tyson McGruff?
You don't know McGruff house.
No.
Oh, maybe it's a local Kansas City thing.
It was like any, which these days they would never fly, but it was like this.
Um, like if you're ever in danger, if somebody is ever like following you or running after
you or something like stranger danger, you could go to any of these houses and just like
knock on the door.
It's like a safe haven.
It's like, yeah, it's like a safe, safe place, but it's like anybody could sign up to be a mcgruff house oh
so that just screams scariness but anyway uh it'd be like a mcgruff house but for crocs and be like
croc spot and it's like this place is safe you're safe here if someone's running out for judgment in
the crocs if you were being chased or if someone with crocs is chasing you and you want to get
away you can come to the safe haven oh man i would would love to see two people in a foot race on Crocs. I would love to see people on Instagram this week, tagging
us where your Crocs spot is. Yeah. Throw down a hashtag hashtag Crocs spot. Yeah. Where are you
wearing your Crocs? Perfect. Tag us. We will repost our Crocs spot and Brad will be posting
his Crocs spot. Yeah. And if I go to Walmart, I'll be in my Crocs spot. Yeah. I was just thinking
about races. I wonder if I could be racist race, R a C E S like foot races. races. I wonder if I could beat you. Races? Race. R-A-C-E-S.
Like foot races.
Ah.
I wonder if I could beat you in a foot race if I had normal shoes on and you had Crocs
on.
Where do I put the heel?
Do I get the heel or do I put it in front?
Oh, you definitely get the heel.
If you don't get the heel, it's over.
I'm just sliding.
You get three steps and then you have to go back to get your Crocs again.
I don't know about Crocs to know what my capabilities are.
Okay.
So I get the heel.
I think it'd be, maybe we should, you know.
Maybe.
Patreon members,
if you're a Patreon member for $15,
maybe we'll show you.
Next nice day,
we're gonna have a foot race.
I think it'd be very fun.
I think the length of the race
is gonna be important too.
I think if it's like a 10-yard race,
like, I would feel all right.
Yeah, I was gonna say,
I want some longevity.
I want at least 40 yards.
Yeah, I think 40 yards.
Yeah. I'm in Crocs, I don't know. And I have to keep to keep them on like they can't just fall off and they get right on my feet like i have to keep them on that's the hard thing right
yeah you have to at least try to keep them on yeah yeah no i have to it's part of it okay um
i didn't wear my crocs scoot daddy can scoot yeah i got small strides everyone's fine yeah but
they're quick like tyreek hill uh i wasn't wearing my Crocs, but I went to my Crocs spot this week. I went to Walmart.
Okay, good for you. And some fun things happened, Brad.
I'm sure. When were they not at Walmart?
Yeah, this was the day that America was just weird. I was already on edge. Not even on edge,
but it was a weird day. Wednesday?
Yeah, we can all agree. Last week was a weird time.
I go to get some groceries.
I walk in Walmart.
A woman on my right,
like sitting in like a,
like one of those like,
Scooters.
Handicapped scooters, whatever.
Says, like mumbles something to me.
And I was like,
oh, I'm sorry, what?
And she was like,
you shouldn't go in that way.
And I was like,
oh, I'm sorry.
And just like kept walking.
I was like, okay. I go to get a cart and then this man way. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. And just I kept walking. I was like, OK, I go to get a cart.
And then this man approaches me and he was like, hey, so you're actually not supposed
to go in those doors.
He's like, those are exit only doors.
Like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
She like just told me.
You're talking about the Walmart exit only, which are like right next to the enters.
Yeah.
That fires me up.
Yeah.
So it reminded me of you ever seen the movie office
space yeah where he like so they kind of i think are parodying corporate america where basically
if you screw up you have four different bosses telling you you screwed up and so in the movie
it's like hey so we're gonna be putting cover sheets on our tps reports from now he's like all
right got it and then like 30 seconds later so yeah it's like that guy you know we're gonna be
putting cover sheets on all of our
tps reports and then another boss i don't know if you got my email you know whatever like that
right so then the second guy uh yes tell me you got to go in that door i'm like all right i you
know sorry i'll do it next time then brad a third one no a third one comes and tells me hey i don't
know what he was talking to you about but just in in case he didn't, you should be going in the entrance doors from now on.
I'm like, yeah, both two people already told me.
I'm so sorry.
I've clearly offended all of you.
And I was like, and then at this point, I'm like, let's fight back a little bit.
I'm tired of this.
This is annoying.
I go, well, and this is true.
I said, the sign outside said welcome.
And he goes, well, I mean, you're always welcome.
But you can't go in those doors.
You're always welcome.
He said, I mean, he didn't skip a beat.
I'm not even kidding.
I go, the sign outside says welcome.
I mean, you're always welcome, but you're not.
You're not welcome to enter.
You're welcome to look at the sign.
And then he slapped me across the face,
called me an idiot. The sign's outside.
You're always welcome outside.
You're welcome to look at the sign all you want.
And so then I'm looking at the doors.
Now I'm on the inside.
I'm like, so that's the entrance door. And he goes, yes. I'm like, well,
that's his thank you above it. And he says, right. You're right. You're right. See how that one says,
thank you. Now look over here. This one says, thank you. Exit only see the difference. I'm like,
dude, you treat me like a mate. You, you understand like what I'm saying. How many people were
exiting out of the inter doors while you were talking? Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's just, what in the world were you doing at Walmart anyway?
Getting groceries. Just, just normal grocery run. Yeah. It's a cheap place to get groceries. Sure.
I needed a, uh, ice scraper. Forgot to get it. That was the whole reason I went
and I forgot to get that. Picked up some other things. Okay. God, uh, what did I get? Oh,
Brad, I got some, uh, pillowcase. i got satin pillowcases satin i ball out
no i wasn't really in the main like pillowcase section you know so i didn't have the whole
variety it was just like an in-cap and it was like you know you can either have like the in-cap
pillowcases slap different let me tell you like they weren't selling pillowcases there it was
like you can have this like kitchen brush or a bath mat or pillowcases.
Was it like an as seen on TV satin pillowcase?
I don't think they showed, I don't know.
Maybe they were on TV.
Like my pillow satin case.
But I had no options.
It was just like these gold satin pillowcases.
I was like, let's do it.
You're like, let's dance, baby.
How do you like them?
I got.
No, it's like a thing.
Satin pillowcases are a thing.
Catherine has one.
Like a thing in what way?
I don't know exactly.
Like something beauty-wise.
Like whether they're better for your skin or for your hair.
Like they're less staticky.
I'm not really sure, to be honest.
But they do something cool?
I guess.
She got it in one of those FabFitFun things.
Boxes.
Like she didn't really truly want it, but she has one now, and I think she's tried it
out a few times.
Cool.
I've only had it for like a couple, I really haven't used it much.
There's no way in the summer you're going to enjoy that it's going to be way too hot i mean i sleep very
very good as it is so i'm fine yeah so gold i love that it's gold i didn't have any options
if you want pillowcase gold satin pillowcase like sure whatever i wasn't planning on talking
about any of that stuff but i'm okay have i mentioned before in the podcast uh the previous
times would have been accosted at Walmart
There's like salesmen in the back. I think I mentioned it
Not correct opinion or some some podcast with a tray really did I mention with me to you?
Go ahead. Just like yeah, I've noticed a couple times thing, right? Yeah. Yeah, you don't like talk to you
And so I see this guy coming for me again, and it's been a while
So like I forgot that they do this. This is so annoying
this guy's like be lying towards me because I look young and gullible and good looking
and capable.
All the positive things.
Yeah.
Jackhammer.
Professional.
Rich.
Alpha male.
Oh, yeah.
Alpha male.
Alpha male.
Yeah.
Merciless.
And he comes up to me and he's like, hey, man, can I ask you a few questions?
And I was like, no, man, I'm really not in the mood.
It'll take two seconds.
It'll take two seconds.
This guy's like really jazzed, really like feeling himself. Oh, boy. And he's like, no, man, I'm really not in the mood. It'll take two seconds. It'll take two seconds. This guy's like really jazzed, really like feeling himself.
Oh, boy.
And he's like, let me ask you this.
Who do you use for your Internet?
You know, AT&T, Verizon, you know, like give me something like I know what Internet, you
know, need to give me options.
But because Verizon has really good Internet.
I go Google Fiber.
OK, now Google Fiber.
Now, how much is Google Fiber charging you?
An arm, a leg a leg ring finger pinky toe
i'm just kidding how much are they charging now i'm like dude get out of my way right now because
i've had enough of this by the inter door police oh it was so annoying it was so an arm leg pinky
toe i'm just kidding man like he seemed like a guy who's like really does have a passion
for sales but unfortunately just took the first job available right like right and this is a sales
job now and i was like um sixty dollars sixty dollars whoa dude whoa dude whoa and you're and
you're just paying that you're you're okay with paying that yeah and i'm like yeah tell me tell
me why you know and i'm like i mean we get 800, tell me why, you know, and I'm like, I mean, we get 800
megabytes per second download, um, 600 megabytes per second upload.
I do a lot of work on the internet and also a terabyte of Google, you know, drive cloud
storage.
That'll shut him up.
I was just being logical.
Like that is why.
And he's like, well, okay, that's all, that's all right and dandy.
But why don't you step over here with me a second?
I'm like, dude, I'm really not like, no, thank you.
He did not know.
Thank you.
He really did it. It was like pretty annoying. I was like, no, thank you. He did not take no for an answer.
He really did it.
It was like pretty annoying.
I was like, no, thank you.
He's like, no, no, I'll take two seconds.
I'll take two seconds.
I'm like, dude, I don't want, I don't want to do this anymore.
He's like, I promise.
And then I just like start walking away.
It's like, okay, you're, you're, you're in a hurry.
I get it.
I'm like, I'm not in a hurry.
I'm just not interested.
You said that?
That wasn't my final words.
It was a weird day.
All right.
I'm sorry.
I'm not in a hurry at all. was a weird day. All right. That's Arnie on edge. I'm not in a hurry at all.
I'm just frustrated.
All right.
A terabyte?
A terabyte?
That's insane.
Right?
800 megs is insane.
Yeah.
It's crazy speed.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Brittany Fiber set it up when she walked in our closet.
She set it up for us.
Gosh, I would be so fired up.
Oh, I hated it.
Oh, it sucked.
I'm pretty good.
I'm pretty proud of how good I am at shutting people down quickly.
But I don't know what I would have done if you would have kept coming back at me.
Because, yeah.
I didn't like it.
No, I wouldn't like it either.
Because it was in person.
Because you were politely at first, it sounds like.
You were just like, no, thank you.
But I don't want to do this.
I'm good.
Because somebody did that to me at Cabela's today.
When I had my two kids with me,
I had Bo and Hattie and I was like,
clearly I'm kind of got my hands full here,
brother.
And he's like,
Hey,
have you heard about my,
or our promotion today?
And I was like,
uh,
thanks man.
But I'm,
I'm not ready.
Unless it's about locally sourced Turkey.
I'm probably not interested.
Yeah.
I get my trip to fan only farm fresh.
So,
um,
and so I was just like,
but he,
he,
he did not care that much i don't
think my guy didn't your guy sounds like he was ready to go yeah he had a lot of passion but it
was just misplaced man that's pretty funny which well you need to just avoid whatever section those
guys it's in the back okay it's in the back which why are they in the back that seems like the worst
put him in the front walmart's like not proud of traffic yeah totally we don't like that you're
here totally go in the back gosh interesting's like not proud of them. High traffic. Yeah, totally. We don't like that you're here. Totally.
Go in the back.
Gosh, interesting.
I assume that they have to be by electronics because it kind of like makes sense.
Maybe they can like sell you something back there.
I don't know.
It was brutal though.
I might, I don't know.
It's my crock spot, so I got to go back, but I'm not going near the back.
Not going near the back.
Oh man, that's good.
Real quick before I forget, ghostie of the week is Emily Tinsman. It's her and her
husband's 10 year wedding anniversary, Brad.
You did it.
You guys did it. 10 years
of unconditional love. As far
as we know. Oh, no.
You don't. I do. Yeah. Emily and Tim,
right? Last name is Tinsman.
Tim Tins. Tim Tinsman.
Remember
that song, that commercial with the Apple commercial with all those different
people in the same colored shirts?
No, but it sounds awesome.
It's really cool.
Sounds like an OK Go music video.
Cooler.
No, no, no, no.
Cooler.
Hello.
Good for them.
Oh, crap.
I was supposed to shout out somebody for your birthday.
It's your birthday.
It's your birthday. It's your birthday.
Hey.
Do you remember?
No, I'm just saying, you know who you are.
Birthday girl.
Happy birthday.
No, it's a guy.
Birthday boy.
It's this girl's boyfriend.
Oh, so you know a girl.
You know a girl very well.
If it's your birthday this week, we're talking about you.
If you're a guy.
Timmy Tinsman.
Shoot.
Keep talking.
You got any more?
Okay.
Not about Walmart.
I watched the movies this week.
You know, me and the roomies, we love getting cozy still.
I mean, every night.
Well, not every night, but a fire is going a lot.
Christmas cookies, movies.
Watched two more this week.
Sorry.
One good, one bad.
Okay.
Good movie.
Peanut Butter Falcon.
You ever seen it?
I started watching the first five minutes the other day, and I was like, I'm going to
give this thing a chance.
What?
I stopped.
What?
I was, okay, okay, okay.
A terabyte?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm sure it costs you an arm, a leg, a pinky finger, blah, blah, blah.
I was kind of on my computer as well, so I was like, I don't think I'm really invested
in this movie right now, so I'm going to, I didn't say like, I'm never going to watch
this movie.
I just, it was not the right movie for the time okay that's fair that's fair thank you i was writing hilarious
jokes i was kidding oh yeah i would very much recommend it to anyone out there i uh oh i'm
gonna text my sister about it well now i don't have to kaylin you would really like peanut butter
falcon there you go because it's got like lots of break dancing in it right and she loves peanut
butter yeah she loves peanut butter break dancing yeah She loves peanut butter break dancing. Yeah. Which they don't go well together. You want to do those separately.
Gosh, I want to, I, bucket list item for me someday, be in a dance video with Caitlin
Triplett.
Ooh.
I'm in, I'm doing it.
We can set that up.
But I have to grow out my hair like she does.
Cause she, she owns her hair when she whips around and makes sure it looks so cool when
she dances.
I have to grow out my hair.
Oh, but yeah, peanut butter falcon's good.
Okay. It's about a kid with Down
Syndrome and Shia LaBeouf. Just
hanging. Yeah. Just hanging. Does he
like escape somewhere, right?
I don't know. I don't know. That was like the first
five minutes he tried to escape
somewhere. Yeah. The opening
scene is him trying to escape a senior citizen home
using a very old woman
as his disguise. It's great. Okay. I'm sorry peanut butter falcon good good dunkirk bad really didn't like
dunkirk i've heard it's pretty slow it didn't done my kirk no didn't kirk your dunny no not even a
little bit it's christopher nolan you know there's good aspects to it overrated i think he's rated
memento oh it's such a good movie okay i haven't really seen that many christopher nolan okay
memento like the dark knight interstellar awesome interstellar is
one of my favorites all the time i don't have any credibility with christopher nolan now that i
think about it here's what i've seen from chris roll dark knight amazing superman movies not good
haven't seen those i just didn't like maybe i still like superman i like superheroes who have
this kind of pretty much the same power as i do yeah like me and batman are pretty similar though
look he can we have we both have 20 2020 vision you're smart we can both punch yeah
you're both born um in your back what your your parents died you know that's what it is
dang it i don't think that's what that is. Yeah. No, it's just maybe. That's when you're like an illegitimate child.
Ah, frick.
Are you trying to say the word orphan?
No.
I think you want to say orphan.
I think so too.
I think so too.
Shut up.
We'll save this for Patreon.
I was like, maybe he's saying you got your masters. No, no.
But you don't.
You got your masters.
Yeah, I'm like, well, that's still not true.
Either way. Yeah, I liked it, well, that's still not true either way.
Yeah. I liked it.
Batman has,
he's rich.
He's got some connections,
but that's all he is.
Yeah.
He's got cool cars.
Well,
and Superman's from a different planet.
I don't like different planet stuff.
Keep it on earth.
Just like Gotham is.
It takes place in Pittsburgh.
Superman takes place in Krypton or whatever it is.
No,
I don't need that.
Is that where it takes place? I think it takes place. It takes place in America, but there's also some stuff in Krypton or whatever it is No I don't need that Is that where it takes place? I think it takes place
It takes place in America but there's also some stuff in Krypton
Or wherever some other planet
I don't like that part
Maybe
Yeah
So yeah I'm sure some people out there who like Dunkirk
But it wasn't
As a house we did not really appreciate it as much as we were hoping to
I like how you guys are in sync on all these things Yes we've synced our cycles good job thank you with your megabytes
is what you're talking about like you're with my cash yeah your cash that's right oh man okay i
don't i don't remember i can't find it so i'm just gonna list off really quickly like the last 20
people have sent us messages on here all right so have fun sarah jordan oh three oh yeah happy
birthday lillian coker happy birthday brown hair. These are your boyfriends.
Happy birthday.
Alex Groff.
Birthday.
Nice team.
Tim Fried.
Probably not you.
It doesn't smell great.
Jordan,
Alyssa.
Happy birthday.
Always 21.
Happy birthday.
Vandergrings.
Happy birthday.
LR Nesbitt.
Happy birthday.
Stephanie Bogart.
Hope you birthday.
Mad.
These spams.
Happy birthdays.
Glam gal.
28.
Happy birthday.
Nathan Cooley.
Happy birthday.
Had a Jersey's.
Howie birthday. Kristen Klein. 52. Happy birthday. Melissa Klein. Happy birthday. Nathan Cooley. Happy birthday. Had a jerseys. Howie birthday.
Kristen Klein.
52.
Happy birthday.
Melissa Klein.
Happy birthday.
Jeff Polinger jr.
Happy birthday.
Allie Ray 99.
Happy birthday.
Caleb Lee.
You like Kentucky.
So rock chalk.
Stink it.
Caleb.
Think it.
That's all.
Happy birthday to one of those people.
Good job.
Um,
so yeah,
you did say something.
This is very mediocre, but you talked about fires.
I'm like getting really passionate about making fires in my house.
Okay.
In the fireplace.
Like real fires.
Like real fires.
Like, like, cause we have one, we have a fireplace downstairs as well.
And I've been quarantined there for a while.
I'm not there anymore, but I watched diehard right in front of the fireplace.
I had my computer.
I watched on my computer just so I could be right in front of my fireplace.
Crocs were getting a little melty because I was, I had such a good fire.
You're about to get sloppy Crocs.
I get so excited about my slops, my slacks.
I get so excited.
Do you ever go socks and slacks?
Every time.
Yeah.
Oh, you gotta.
Oh really?
Oh yeah.
Until summer.
Oh, then you rock rock.
It's kind of like the, uh, yeah then you rock rock. It's kind of like
the, uh, yeah, you rock rock. Not because he's with Ray Kroc who's watched, watched the founder.
It was a good movie. Great, great movie actually. Um, no, but I just get so excited about like,
especially my fires because I'm using like firewood obviously, like instead of like the
woodworking wood that flames up really quickly, like these firewood, it's almost like, it looks like it's maybe not even going to flame at all.
And then all of a sudden, next thing you know, all of a sudden it's like melting your Crocs
and you feel really good about yourself.
You're like, I made that.
I made fire.
I like that phrase.
Hey, I wouldn't, I wouldn't push his buttons too much.
Next thing you know, you could be melting your Crocs.
All right.
So just take it easy on the Walmart sales associate in the back.
All right. Listen, I don't care if it's an arm, leg, pink finger. Don't let him melting your Crocs. All right. So just take it easy on the Walmart sales associate in the back. All right.
Listen, I don't care if it's an arm, leg, pink figure.
Don't let him melt your Crocs.
Not worth it.
It's not worth it.
Yeah, that's good.
Keep those Crocs to yourself.
That's perfect.
Keep them rigid.
Speaking of fire, we have been having our carbon monoxide alarm go off a little bit.
That's not good.
We thought maybe like the batteries were low on something.
And so, and it was going off in our
basement, which I feel like if there's anything
fire related, it would be going off in the living room
or the hallway or places where. Okay.
But is carbon monoxide fire related?
It is if it's like propane. So it has
it could come from like a wood burning fire,
but I feel like. Well, it's probably, sorry.
Did you figure out why? I did a little amount of research
and it would be like, if your chimney isn't very
well ventilated, then yeah, wood burning fire
could cause carbon monoxide.
But like, if we didn't have a good, well ventilated fireplace, it'd be so smoky in here.
Yeah.
We would know.
No.
So we decided to take the batteries out and just, uh, I Googled how many people die a
year of carbon monoxide.
Less than 400 Americans.
There's no way it's us.
I literally use that as, I was like, let's just take them out.
There's no way we're one of the 400 Americans.
There's no way. And then tomorrow, like none that as I was like, let's just take him out. There's no way we're one of the 400 Americans. There's no way.
And then tomorrow, like none of you wake up.
It is the way to go.
You I learned a lot about carbon monoxide.
I guess you die in your sleep.
Oh, good for you.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is honestly.
That's that's the way to go.
You might as well go in your sleep.
I bet it's from Isaac's propane heater in his garage.
Why wouldn't I don't think he's even used that yet?
Well, then it's probably not that.
But he should, though, because it's cold and he uses the cold as motivation not to work and sometimes i'll say isaac use your space motivation not to work that's that's an oxymoron
he let's just go with this he uses it as an excuse yeah but yeah i don't think he's like
got his space heater up and up and moving yet. OK, so if you come over, we have a little carbon monoxide, but we don't have any batteries
in our detector anymore.
So it's not going to annoy you.
Gosh, I would rather die of carbon monoxide than like have that beep at me every 30 seconds.
I bet that was annoying.
Yeah, right.
We're less annoying than carbon monoxide.
You go peacefully.
Come on.
Carbon monoxide is awesome.
Just gas.
Monoxide gets it.
You know, it gets it. Yeah. Good for monoxide gets it you know it gets it yeah
good for you good for you just sticking it to the co co1 yeah co just co yeah just co
why so why don't they just say carbon oxide wait why don't they i don't know maybe that's just not
someone tell us when you post on instagram your croc spots also throwing a little footnote that
says why we don't just call it carbon
oxide.
Cause you say dihydrogen monoxide for water as well.
Yeah.
That's good.
That don't say you didn't leave.
Yeah.
Now, you know, okay.
I don't have anything else written down, so take it away.
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visit bhp.com slash better future oh just things from this week yeah um so I've been in the
basement with my roommates a lot this week in the basement yes I'm a new man Brad oh you're
working out we started working out yeah we just, we just started Monday morning at 9am.
Nice. We all just worked out together. It's a pretty good setup. Isaac is a woodworker,
made us like an entire wooden squat rack. Harrison's dad was a strength and conditioning
coach for Alabama football. Between those two. I can't wait to hear what you contributed.
I am like there. Yeah. I know how to set up the PA system. Yeah. If you guys need Bluetooth,
can I do the speaker? I can do that. So it's pretty great setup. It's so fun.
I want to see this wood squat rack. It's awesome. It's so cool. I bet Harrison named the basement.
It's called the instant pot when we work out. Cause you go down there, you get real steamy
for about 45 minutes and you come up just so perfect and hot. Yeah. Quite frankly, you come up just, you know,
ready to go. That's probably where carbon monoxide is coming from is just the steam. Yeah. You guys
are working out so much. You guys are excreting something. So, oh, it's been a blast every,
we've done it all five days, every weekday this week. And then today we decided on Saturdays,
we're going to do yoga. So Monday through Friday, we work out Saturdays are yoga days. Okay. I just
got done doing yoga. Yeah. Feel good. Yeah. Uh, Oh, here's what I
contributed. Here's one thing I decided after a couple of days of working out, I decided,
Hey, from now on, we're going to start each workout session with a little,
like a brief show and tell. Oh, good for you, dude. It's it's like, I can't believe that what
we're doing, like, isn't being filmed. Like, it just, it's so, like, hilarious and amazing.
Like, we play Green Onions, like, the Sandlot.
So we play Green Onions.
Yeah, yeah, to start, show, and tell.
And then, like, we start, like, on one side of the room, and then Green Onions plays.
Will you play Green Onions real fast so people know what it is?
Yeah, yeah.
So just so you can imagine.
Because you've all heard Green Onions, but you don't know it's called Green Onions, probably.
But that's such a fun song.
Dude, it's awesome.
So, yeah, imagine.
You just, like, walk down. Yeah, like walk down you walk down and green onions is playing oh please start dang it i know what's happening hold on i know what's happening sorry sorry
so this is playing and then it's like all right i'll go first everyone claps
and then i go first i'm like all right today i'm going to be showing you guys something
and then like it's in my pocket or i've been hiding it somewhere
and oh it's just awesome i mean every day we show and tell it's hilarious when you get done
everyone claps you off.
Everyone.
You clap the next person.
I like how you say everyone.
Like, there's so many people there.
Everyone claps.
Okay, can you give us examples?
Appropriate ones?
I brought my senior picture the first day as motivation.
Oh, good.
So I slapped it on the wall.
So I'm going to get back to this.
The six pack is coming back.
Harrison also brought something we could slap on the wall.
And it's a picture of him when he was at SeaWorld.
It's like a four year old, maybe a six year old.
I don't know.
How does he have that?
And so it's just him next to like a killer whale.
It just says SeaWorld 1995.
You slap that?
And that's on the wall too.
So we slapped that on our way down.
Like slap Shamu.
Yeah.
This is what we not want to be.
This is what we do want to be.
That's right.
So dang, I'm sure he's wearing a copyright strike for Green Onions. We'll figure it out. Worth it though. Worth it. Yeah. this is what we not want to be this is what we do want to be right so dang actually we're gonna
get copyright strike for green onions we'll figure it out um worth it though worth it yeah worth it
so dude it's just so funny like all these things on fridays we we do black friday you dress in all
black love it you just you feel sleeker sure like tiger woods on a sunday you know it's just you
don't turn on any lights you're blind it is funny we don't have that much like you only tell
on Fridays yeah we don't have that much equipment so you got to get pretty creative we only have
you know one barbell one set of weights or like two plates one squat rack made of wood
oh it's just so great just all the different things that we're doing yeah yoga on Saturdays
yeah but it's awesome it's been really fun too mean, and we're not just like working out,
we're doing like high intensity,
like circuit training.
It's called Tabata,
which I think is a made up word that Harrison just,
yeah.
Is it the app?
You use the app?
I think so.
Yeah.
Harrison does something on his phone and I do like this,
like three,
two,
one,
work.
Yeah.
I like when he says work.
Yeah.
And at the end of it,
it's been around for a while.
He says Tabata complete. And for three days, I don't know what word are you saying and then finally i asked like what
what is he saying yeah i gotta know i'd learned how it's tabata nice um cool so that's awesome
i've changed man yeah i was gonna say something when i walked in i was like but i thought it was
just a haircut because you got a haircut it looks like you'd go to great clips this week yeah yeah
a little bit of both a lot a lot happened this week uh so yeah the house is just great i mean i never want to leave we just have so much fun yeah oh we started
a uh i did this back in college uh with my roommates anderson and ethan we had pros and
cons lists for each other just like as roommates and so i went to but that was everything i got
at walmart i got his poster board and i got us uh tape pins paper sharpie all this stuff and we
have pros and cons list now.
And it is already so, like you need to come over,
see the squat rack, see the pros and cons list.
Oh, it's so good. I love it.
I'm trying to think. Well, you just got to see them.
They're all inside jokes, so you have to see them.
It's hilarious. Yeah, oh, I should put them on Patreon.
That's a great Patreon content. You guys are going to love it.
Patreon. So,
the house is great. Good. I love that,
yeah, Harrison sounds like he's bringing new life. Dude, it's amazing. Good. I love that. Yeah. Harrison sounds like he's bringing, bringing new life.
Dude.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
You should come live with us sometime.
Hey, maybe.
Book a trip for Catherine and the kids and just come live with us.
Like you take a vacation just by living with us.
Yeah.
Catherine goes to Texas a decent amount.
So sometime I'll sleep over.
Well, yeah.
Don't push it.
You know, don't, don't melt your Crocs, but I'd say, you know, try to make it happen.
Hey, don't melt your Crocs about it. But if you can if you can get there get there all right okay one uh
this will be my last thing from this week to update you guys on but it is a little bit of a
doozy i think this might have also i don't know what day of the week this was doesn't matter
i'm at writing day with trey this uh nice little coffee shop in kansas city trey leaves. I say, hey, I'm actually going to stick around for
a while, get some work done on my computer,
write some jokes, you know, and not alpha male
level, you know, but I'm trying my best.
Trying my best. You'll get there, baby.
I'm actually trying to work on a bit about the Enneagram right now.
Okay. Yeah, I'm feeling good about it.
Yeah? Feeling good. Anyway,
well, then I see
a friend walk in.
Emma. Shout out, Emma. She's about to get mentioned a lot. This is like a new character, almost just for this episode. walk in Emma, shout out Emma.
She's about to get mentioned a lot.
This is like a new character almost just for this episode.
Are we going to shout out Emma though?
Like, are we excited?
We're excited to see Emma.
In hindsight, are we excited to see Emma?
Wow.
You're really good at this.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
So I, once Trey leaves, I'm like, I'm going to go say what's up to Emma for a little bit.
Oh, cause she's there.
I'm going to say what's up.
What's up, Emma?
What's up?
Hey.
You got crocs in the mouth?
What kind of latte you get in there, huh?
I mean, she was there with another Chiefs cheerleader.
Obviously, I'm going to say hi to him.
Of course.
It would be silly if I didn't.
Yeah.
And do a routine.
And do a little five, six, seven, eight.
Here we go, Chiefs.
Here we go, Chiefs.
Yeah.
You did it better.
That was nice.
You must know a lot about cheerleading.
Okay, so I'm talking to...
Here we go, Chiefs.
Here we go.
Ready?
Okay.
I say Chiefs.
You say go.
Chiefs, go.
Chiefs, go.
I wonder if my high school is still doing this.
Because my sister is a cheerleader.
My mom is a cheerleading coach.
They used to do like...
Mom was a cheerleading coach?
You don't know that? Never knew? really she uh fact sbu actually hired she won state when my sister was a senior and my mom was a coach they
won like a competitive cheer it's extra first state championship ever yeah they won like
competitive cheer that was their first state championship ever ever in any sport let's go
um so they have like that might have been my sister as a freshman actually but either way
first state championship ever and then sbu hired my mom to be the cheerleading coach there after
that no way yeah how fun i did not know that she could cheer with the best of them brad is she a
stunter a base she's a flyer flyer that's i should have known that a stunter even a thing no dang it
but it's the same thing as flyer probably probably that was what i was thinking the main stunt woman
yeah stunt woman so good for her oh sorry yeah quick sidebar they used to do they would the
cheerleaders will sit on the floor and they're like i forgot how it went for like here this is
not how it actually went but it rhymes here we are playing basketball let's all do the indian call
oh i love that one yeah it's like it's like their own cups yeah yeah yeah did the did other people
learn how to do it too i think we all liked it i didn't learn how yeah clearly but i'm wondering
if they're still shouting out let's do the indian call yeah maybe they have to have like a different
name for it like um let's hit the ground here we are we're not on our feet now we're gonna do the
indian beat i don't know that seems more respectful yeah i think so let's do what the Let's hit the ground. Here we are. We're not on our feet. Now we're going to do the Indian beat.
I don't know.
That seems more respectful.
Yeah, I think so.
Let's do what the Native Americans did if they would have had hardwood floors.
Yep.
That's got a ring to it.
Anyway, so I'm saying hi.
I'm saying what's up to Emma and Sarah.
Good for you for remembering both their names.
Yes.
Thank you.
Sarah's a new friend.
It's nice to meet her. While I'm gone for five minutes, I come back to my table, my laptop, which I left up on my table is gone. Like that's weird. It's a very full coffee shop. Not a single table is like
unoccupied. It's super busy. And I'm like, okay, option one tray had a quick brain aneurysm. And
for some reason packed up two laptops. So I'm like, okay.
So this was like, like literally as he was leaving, you went over here.
Yeah.
I was like, are you now?
All right.
I'm going to go chat with him real quick.
Okay.
And I text him and he's like, no, I didn't like pack up two laptops.
I'm like, okay.
I figured.
And then I'm like, all right, well, surely no one just stole it.
I'm thinking like someone probably just like made some mistake.
They're going to get home in 10 minutes and realize this isn't my Mac book. Whoopsie Daisy. Very, you know,
good for you. Enneagram seven of me, very optimistic of me. And I'm looking around
and kind of waiting. I'm like, I mean, you know what? Let's just go in. I tell the people who
work there. I'm like, Hey, did you guys see anything? Do you know if anyone came over to
this table? My laptop's not there. Immediately they freak out. What? It's not there anymore. there anymore i'm like well i don't know if someone stole it but it's like i was only gone
five minutes oh and previously i had taken a two different it was a big day for me i take a two
different selfies with people in the coffee shop so it's like maybe one of these people who are
like fans like it's messing with me that's also what i thought that's a dumb messing but yeah
exactly i wasn't gonna be happy with them but i was like i don't know so i mean you at this point
you're just trying to figure out any kind of possible solution.
Maybe Trey actually took two laptops. Maybe somebody so jokey joked. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't
joke a joke. So the people at this place are freaking out. They're going around table table.
Did you see anything? Did you see anything? And no one saw anything. So I'm just kind of sitting
there. I'm like, do you guys have security cameras? Like there we do. And it was like
facing my table. Perfect. This is like, great, let's take a look at those.
Like, all right, you just sit tight while we wait for that.
So I'm chilling.
One of the girls who works there, like one of the braces come over, like console me.
And she's like, I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
And I'm like, hey, it's all good.
Like, we're going to figure this out.
Like, it's all good.
I'm just being so positive.
And I kid you not, Emma and Sarah are actually there.
They can vouch.
This girl is so negative.
It's not all good. Your laptop actually there. They can vouch. This girl is so negative.
It's not all good.
Your laptop was stolen.
She said that to me.
Your laptop is gone.
Like, we don't even know where it is.
I'm like, yeah, we'll figure it out.
It's all good.
She's like the psychologist that wants you to acknowledge the bad parts of the situation.
No, you're depressed.
You're struggling right now.
You're sad about losing your laptop it's not coming back the
chiefs suck brad the chiefs suck have i told you yeah sure they have okay yeah i was like she was
like like she was one step away from me like do you know what a laptop even is do you know what
just happened to you idiot yeah i was like we'll figure it out it's fine but yeah there was some
humor in that just how like on different pages we were it's not all good your laptop is stolen yeah and so we get the security footage back maybe like 20 minutes
later and yeah we see a woman on video who just came and swiped it really quickly unreal yeah
wearing pajama pants and uh boots like uh like waiters boots like knee-high waiters so that's not the that's not the one you
want really so yeah just a fun fact and so i'm like dang okay it's stolen now so i call the police
gosh and follow police report no yeah jump in nerve the nerve the avocados on her the nerve
to do that because at any point even like she must have seen exactly
where you went were you were you not even within sight of it i wasn't there's more footage she
walked right by me i think she was like she's like yeah she wanted me and she probably wanted
me to see her pants yeah they were outer space themed that's awesome yeah they were like the
clock uh that old joke where it's like hey girl girl, those moon pants. Cause your butt is out of this world.
Yeah. I use that on Catherine yesterday. I'm just kidding. I didn't, I respect her too much for
that. Good. Yeah. You know, you can, um, when you lock your Mac from like, find my iPhone,
you can send a message. And I thought about saying like, I've notified the police they're
on their way or are those moon pants? Cause your butt is out of this world. I didn't know which one, both were good options. You should have said, are those moon pants because your butt is out of this world i didn't know which one both were good options you should have said are those moon pants because
you're a freaking thief you fool because officer fitzgerald is on his way yeah you should have
just like you should just like guessed her name and if you would have gotten it right then she's
done for and if you didn't get it right she'd have been like i'm not i'm not sarah sarah yeah close nice try sarah yeah officer petty will be there shortly dang it no i gotta
give this back so i see this woman and take it you call the police i call the police and file a
report and they're asking me some info and it's just not going super well over the phone you know like
they're they're like all right so your laptop is stolen and like you guys probably need some info
on my laptop right or whatever i'm like it's a macbook um it's space gray space station no
space gray it's just her pants her pants look like a space station. I call it space gray, Officer Petty.
Okay?
I just go to all these details they don't need.
No, no.
The Q sticks a little bit.
I used to work at Chick-fil-A a lot because I got it for free.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
So there's this guy, Mr. James.
By the way, speaking of Chick-fil-A, have you tried their mac and cheese?
It's pretty good.
It's pretty good, but if you add bacon, it takes to a whole new level.
A whole new planet.
I wish I could.
The pants were on a different planet.
The bacon, it's a metaphor.
Let's go down the metaphor route.
Yeah.
Your police station is a space station.
I want to bring her moon pants back to me.
Yeah.
With the laptop.
With the computer.
Space gray laptop.
Got it?
Got it, Elon. so he is you know or
she she is like being somewhat helpful you know trying to hear me out and she's like i'm just
gonna level with you right now this may take a while for us to look into we just you know quite
frankly we have bigger fish to fry right now says that phrase makes sense and i'm like yeah it does
i'm like you know there are much harsher criminals out there i get it i just wish there
were more fish fryers out there you know like i just wish we had more people who could fry fresh
right now sure i went to fry the fish yeah so i go back inside and i'm just i don't know what to
do i'm just kind of chilling like waiting for maybe like what do i do without a computer that's
my whole job she um the one of the baristas is like, I feel so bad. Here's a sugar cookie.
I was about to joke, like it'd be like a cake pop or something.
Well, you ever had a sugar cookie from Billy's Grocery, Brad?
I haven't.
Out of this world?
Between.
It's like I went to the space station and I'm back.
Oh, I saw all nine planets, let me tell you.
You think they showed me 50 states, you should have seen this galaxy.
A couple days later, I was i was feeling my anus not to be confused with your anus i'm sorry i just needed to throw a pun in there you have to do that so between this amazing sugar cookie and
getting to meet another chief cheerleader at this point i'm like was this worth it was this worth it
this might have been i'm gonna broke even here. Let's see where things go with Sarah and the sugar cookie.
Good Valentine's.
What?
It's at the end of the Lonely Hearts convention in the office.
Kevin meets Lynn.
He just says.
Oh, yeah.
Good Valentine's.
I like Lynn a lot.
Yeah.
So at this point, I'm just like.
Yeah.
Is this worth it?
Maybe.
I feel like I might break even on today. finish a sugar cookie i go home actually i went to the car wash it's fun to
get a car wash pick me up sure you did buddy i didn't get the milkshake because i'm working out
now no milkshake get a car wash you know oh i see like like we talked about that a few episodes ago
i was sad so i got a milkshake yeah right right you're happy you get a milkshake had a good day
got a raise milkshake laptop gets stolen get a car wash i don't know why i got a milkshake. Yeah, right, right, right. You're happy. You get a milkshake. Had a good day. Got a raise. Milkshake.
Laptop gets stolen.
Get a car wash.
I don't know why I got a car wash.
It's been snowing though.
Yeah.
So the salt.
Yeah.
So I go home, do my thing, whatever.
After several hours, you know, like it's like 8 p.m. And I'm thinking like I'm fully I'm not I don't even have any hope anymore.
Not in like just more like in a realistic way, like this thing is gone.
Right.
You know, like I'm not going to see this again.
This woman is probably already sold their ponded off.
I'm checking Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist.
You know, I'm not seeing anything.
I'm on Apple's website like that.
Just bite the bullet.
I'm going to buy one, go pick one up tomorrow.
Not kidding.
It was like out of a movie.
It is in my cart on Apple's website.
I'm about to click, you know, place order.
And they get an email notification that your laptop has just connected to the internet.
Like we found your MacBook basically.
Cause like I locked it, everything before.
So this is like so exciting.
All of a sudden like adrenaline is like fueling my body.
I'm like, oh baby, this is great.
This is great.
So then I just go into like, I don't know, like true crime, criminal minds.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Like we're saying that could happen to Sarah was how much criminal minds I watched in high
school.
She had no idea.
Oh yeah.
Around the same time, Emma hits me up like, Hey, feel so bad about today.
I'm sorry that I exist.
Right.
You know, like, I'm sorry that you had to come talk to me.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm so hot.
I'm just kidding.
More or less.
Yeah.
That's what she said.
And so she was like, well, just FYI, my dad's a cop.
I'm like, great.
You could be, you could be.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where was that?
Where was that six hours ago?
We're over here.
That's at 1 45 PM.
Didn't mention that till later.
Yeah.
So I'm like, okay, well, this is great.
I just got an address.
It's in Raytown, Missouri.
Like I have her exact address.
She goes, my dad's a cop in Raytown.
Let's do the Indian call to that. Fired. It's in Raytown, Missouri. Like I have her exact address. She goes my dad's a cop in Raytown Arrested you're done
No more society for you, yeah, you're done you're done so it was dad's a cop you
know i guess she gets a little trickle down from that so she's like hey i know like some websites
where we can like look into this like we're sorry whatever you're upset at him i'm giving her grace
you know whatever but but you were calling the cops were she was she there when you called the
cops she was inside i was in my car when i called the cops fair fair okay emma really emma's gonna come back around yeah don't worry you're gonna like him she's
got a good character development in the story okay so then emma's like hey uh about well like
five minutes later she comes back to me he's like hey browsed around i found oh this woman's name
like i reverse searched her address i found her name oh yeah been verified.com
i think it was my neighbor who,
or something like that.
That's a good one too.
It's not bad.
That's not bad.
For Raymore.
Raytown.
Same thing.
We find her name.
So then we're going on a Facebook,
you know,
bounty hunt.
Trying to find,
what was her name?
It doesn't matter.
Desiree.
Close.
It was Debra.
It was?
Yeah, you're close.
Yeah, I knew it.
So we're looking for Debra blank,
you know, everywhere. We think we found some. At the end of the day we couldn't find maybe it's debbie maybe it's deb yeah and then you know sure debbie with a y w i e yeah i don't know
she's from missouri so it might just be like d e b b b or something you never know that b
yeah deb yeah d b i debbie so emma finds another website at one point where you can
you find your name address and phone number so then i'm thinking like all right if the
cops don't do anything how could i use like a phone number to my advantage i was planning on
what was my idea i was gonna do something like i wanted to confirm her address so i could send
the police to it so i think i was going i didn't know I'm doing this but I was going to call
imposed to be like a city councilman and be like hey we're looking into putting
like a neighborhood watch system in your neighbor like in your area can you confirm your address
like is it this like your name I didn't do it but that was my idea that was how I was gonna like
that seems illegal in the maybe not I don't know but something maybe something seems a little bit
fishy about that you got fish and fry.
You're fishing and frying and going to get arrested yourself.
Most other people's ideas.
Why?
Why don't you just go and break down her door?
So this was like one of the least illegal ideas. Why wasn't the cop just willing to go to this place?
Well, this was like off duty or 8 p.m.
At night.
OK.
And so I couldn't get a hold of like the police station anymore.
But I just thought like her dad's a cop.
Hey, can you go over there so her emma's uh what was it oh emma knows her neighbors her
next door neighbors emma's parents grew up with in church so they were like we think it's a rental
we don't even know if that's the woman who lives there anymore like that it's a rental home okay
we don't even know what that name exists or that's the right name so yeah it was very helpful
did a lot yeah so first thing the next morning i call the casey mo police again they said well
now that's in raytown it's not really we can't really do anything you have to call the raytown
please like all right call the raytown police and they said all right great and also i'm feeling
like great i'm like i've done so much for you guys yeah like i know exactly i might know her name i know i have pictures for you i have video for you and
i have her address you have a location go get them baby yeah we did it yeah like we're the top of the
ninth right now you're almost full circle by yourself i yeah i was so fired up complete fill
in the blank yeah so raytown police were just thought I was like, so this is the address. I was like,
and I can like email you like the security video and the photos I have. Um, and they're like,
Oh, it's all good. We'll just go and like knock on the door and look into it. I'm like,
so you don't, you just like at least want to have it. Like they didn't ask anything about my laptop
or anything. It was just like very confusing. I was like, I'm surprised you don't want,
they don't want a description of her even like they, they knew nothing about her.
They just were like, Oh, you have an address okay yeah it was that
was part was weird to me okay interesting but this is my first time having my laptop stolen so you
know space gray that's silly me i don't know sure get a call a few hours later from officer wallace
nice guy and he says hey i'm following up on like a call you made earlier i'm like the detective assigned
your case now i'm like okay so it's this address and he goes all right well i got bad news for you
before you even got done reading that address i know exactly what house you're talking about he's
like they're criminals i have like personal relationship with those people like i'm there
all the time he's like so that's the bad news basically it's like why is that bad okay tell me
basically just like they already
have a bad relationship with the cops like if he goes and like knocks on her door he's like she's
not going to talk to me like she's got a slam in my face she's not going to do anything and these
people are criminals these are like professionals at this like your laptop's probably already gone
because this is what they do gotcha or even if they do let you in the house they might have 10
macbooks and then because i don't know the serial number then i can't technically confirm it i was
like can i go with you can i like enter in my password it's not like i'll go with you i'll wear i'll wear a
bulletproof vest do a ride-along he was like you don't have to come with me and he's like i will
knock on the door just for your sake but you know i don't expect them to talk to me i'm like well we
have all this evidence like i don't know how warrants work but like can you get a search
warrant i know like yeah they could take some time from what I've seen in TV shows, but like
we don't 911 makes it look pretty hard to get one, but we have all this evidence, right?
Like I have her name.
I have her face.
I have her on video stealing it.
I have her address.
Like this is a ton of evidence.
Right.
And he's like, uh, you'd be surprised.
I'm like, I, yes, I am surprised.
Yeah.
You can't do anything about this.
And he's like, like I said, I'll still knock on their door, but it's probably already gone
anyway.
So if they don't answer, you're done.
Like, I just have to take this in my own hands.
Is that my only option?
I'm like, what would you do?
And he's like, I don't know.
He's like, it stinks.
I know.
Like, it's, it's not a good system.
And I was like, you're right.
So this laptop that you're seeing here is a brand new one.
Unfortunately.
Oh, it is.
Okay.
Got Space Gray again.
I was like, what happened?
Sorry, that was a really long story, but it was crazy.
Just like how much.
Yeah, that's too bad.
And I'm almost positive.
Previously on this podcast before, I've talked about like the way our like criminal justice
system is set up.
It's like, so it protects
the criminal so much. Like, I know I've said that before somewhere. Yeah. Cause like the whole,
yeah, whatever. I don't even fully comprehend it, but I know there's, yeah, there's obviously
flaws around every corner with this stuff. It was just crazy to me, especially once I experienced,
I had already thought that without experiencing it firsthand, like, Whoa, there seems like a lot
of systems in place that like, yeah, don't like help you out a lot if you're a good person well it just seems like it seems like the the thing that was
being stolen also has a huge thing to do with it right like like if that was a car they would have
they would have done something about it yeah like it just seems like it's like too small in their
eyes but it's like yeah hey some cars aren't worth that much money but if someone steals it you would
do something about it you know i? Like that laptop's not cheap.
Yeah.
You know, it's four digits.
It's four digits.
It's four digits.
It's four digits.
And so it's like, Hey, come on.
You know, that's just, yeah.
Yeah.
Like where, where's the line?
Like, is it like a small claims court kind of thing where it's like, you know, whatever,
$2,000 and less, therefore it's just not worth our time.
Not worth it.
Yeah.
Cause yeah, you can't just be like, like yeah i'm pretty sure they stole all these diamonds from hellsberg you know or zales or whatever but
uh you know we knocked on their door they didn't they didn't open it they said they didn't have
them yeah i know i know those people they they steal a lot of stuff so we'll knock on their door
but if they don't answer they just have to have our million dollars worth of diamonds.
And that's what I was trying to tell.
I was like, can't you just tell the judge what you just told me?
That these people are criminals and they've stolen stuff before?
Like, can we get this warrant in like an hour?
Like, I don't know how this works, but like, how many judges are there?
What are they up to at 930 on a Wednesday?
I don't know.
It just seems like, yeah, like if you have video footage of them literally stealing it.
We did so much.
I had everything.
Name, face, proof of the crime, address.
That's a huge bummer.
A huge B.
Like, yeah, the night of was so fun.
It's so exhilarating.
And then the morning after was a little sad.
It's like, oh.
So I went to the Apple store that day and got it.
Dang it, dude.
I'm sorry.
It's all good.
Did Apple have any kind of forgiveness program, right?
No.
Like, please. Like, I got stolen. Let me show good. Did Apple have any kind of forgiveness program? Like, please,
like I got stolen. Let me show you all the videotape. Yeah. The guy who sold it to me was like, oh, big day, huh? And I was like, oh, I'm buying it because yesterday mine got stolen. He's
like, oh, sorry, man. And then even when I brought it home, I didn't even open out of the box for
like eight hours. And Isaac was like, dude, have you not opened this yet? I'm like, because I don't
want to. It reminds me that I didn't have to do this i know what it is i shouldn't have had to
do this oh that is a bummer darn dude i'm sorry so uh no it really is it's all good it's just
it's just money just a material thing but it was it was it was spiced up my week i bet and i got a
story for the podcast yeah and i got to meet sar Sarah and I got a good sugar cookie from Billy's Grocery.
You recommend Billy's Grocery
for cookies only.
Cookies and seeing your fans.
But not for,
but do not loiter
at any point
without your computer.
Take your laptop with you.
Man, that's a bummer.
That was another thing too
that made me think
it wasn't stolen
because my laptop
was next to my wallet
and they only took my laptop.
So I'm like, this had to be a mistake.
So she's not even that good of a criminal.
Yeah.
Take my wallet.
I think my camera was in there.
Thank goodness she didn't take my backpack.
That would actually really.
Yeah.
You would have been really bummed then.
Yeah.
Because you like sometimes.
Well, I don't know if you still do this, but like back in the day when we meet at Chick-fil-A,
you would bring your whole backpack in with your camera and stuff.
Oh, it's always in there.
It's my camera bag. But like you would bring it inside. Like when you would come to Chick-fil-A because you would bring your whole backpack in with your camera and stuff. Oh, it's always in there. It's my camera bag.
But like you would bring it inside,
like when you would come into Chick-fil-A
because you're like,
well, I don't want it to get stolen
because you never used to lock your car.
Right.
And when it's summer,
you don't want it to get hot
or don't want it to get cold.
You don't want it to melt.
Climate thing, climate.
Melt the crocs.
All right.
I will stop talking about all that,
but just a little drama for my week
is that I was too scared to go
to her house and knock on her door because well no yeah because so many people it's easy for them
to say i don't feel like that's right you know like like what's gonna happen if she whatever
you could get in a lot of trouble yeah and especially once i was told that they were
criminals i'm like yeah okay right is a macbook worth getting shot by a crackhead over like
probably not maybe oh my gosh probably not you know I have some really good footage of Trey on there.
I was thinking about hiring a couple of German shepherds to go with me. I don't know if that's
like a website. If not, someone should start it. Yeah. Hire my German. Yeah. That might be taken.
Hire my German. Hire my German. Yeah, that's good. But I was like, what are like, how do I, like, I'm gonna have to commit a crime to get it back. And so that's good but i was like what are like how do i like i'm gonna have to
commit a crime to get it back and so that's not right oh yeah that's a bummer i i've had a similar
story we won't have to go into it but that's a bummer i did not get duped like that at all though
i i just bought a guitar that i thought i was like basically stealing from them
like so cheap do you remember maybe you were still i don't know if you were at the K-Life house yet. Yeah.
Yeah.
It was so cheap.
And then it turns out it was cheap because it was fake.
Poop ball.
I should have known.
So I confronted them and yeah,
it didn't go well.
So,
but I confronted them online and even that was like not pretty.
Really?
Yeah.
I made like,
like empty threats.
Like I was like,
I know some people in the police department and I can figure out where you live.
I said that to them.
And then she got like really mad at me.
I know a clerk and he knows someone way up.
Yeah.
Like one time a police officer came to my school.
I know that guy.
I know him.
Yeah.
SRO, school resource officer.
Anyway.
Okay.
That's my story for the week.
Let's get onto some voice memos
if you would like brad i would like if you can play it on your new awesome computer oh thank
you don't mind if i do jake and brad what is up it's maggie i love the podcast what's up i also
love dessert and i love celebrating. I love birthdays,
half birthdays,
birthdays,
whenever.
I love you.
What's her name?
Maggie.
Maggie.
That's just like,
I think we talked about a long time ago,
like online dating profiles,
like where girls say like things that they think are so quirky.
I love dessert.
Tacos.
I love to celebrate
date me please it's like everyone does tell me a little about yourself well uh let's see
i've been known to sleep in a little bit who doesn't on saturday especially saturdays i'll
sleep in if i'm not brunching with the girls if i'm not brunching with the girls i will sleep in
and uh let's see.
Oh, if there's a dog in the room, I will find it.
I love those dogs.
If someone puts chocolate in front of me on a plate, I will eat it.
I will eat it.
You'll have to stop me from eating it.
It's so much.
Especially if that chocolate has ice cream next to it.
I love ice cream.
Ice cream.
And pizza.
Who doesn't like pizza? Pizza. Okay, okay, okay. Before we get we get further question pineapple on pizza or no
or pineapple or no it's important guys seriously though i i really like the beatles anybody else
like beatles beatles yes okay there's some beatles okay okay now we're getting somewhere
all right here's a little bit of a thinker is water wet i know i know it's it's a bit of a thinker what do we think guys okay i love i want to study abroad maggie maggie i'm so glad you like dessert and celebrating i
just i love it i love it we love you maggie we love celebrating you yeah thanks for the voice
i used to work in the hospital if it was a doctor's birthday another pa's birthday nurse
custodial staff we would make a spirit tunnel for them.
And it was great.
That's fun.
I like that.
So now when I'm on a first date,
one of the questions I ask is,
what are your thoughts on birthdays?
And are you a dessert person?
I feel like his answer is very telling
to whether or not I can trust him.
So my question for y'all is,
are y'all birthday people?
Are y'all dessert people?
Oh, it's okay.
I'm just going to stop there.
I love you, Maggie.
I just want to say,
I don't like making fun of people very much.
Hey, when they leave a voice memo,
they have opened the door.
Yeah.
Who's not a dessert?
Okay.
If you're not a dessert person,
I want you to come leave a voice memo next week.
Because I can't imagine people
just straight up saying,
all sweets in the world, I don't like them.
I've tried desserts, don't like them.
You know? Yeah. Anything?
Butterscotch pudding, even?
I mean, there's people out there who probably don't like chocolate. I get it.
Some people don't like cake because they're frosting.
Don't like ice cream? Yeah, cake. But if you don't like
anything sweet... I bet you can find something.
I bet you like a bowl of strawberries
for dessert. You don't even have to like,
you know,
sugary stuff,
uh,
natural sugars,
whatever.
Dessert person.
Whatever she said,
like we make spirit tunnels for them on their birthdays.
And then,
and now on my first dates when I go,
and I thought she was going to say like,
welcome to the first day.
Hey,
Travis,
like, he's like, whoa, table for two over here. First date! Hey, Travis!
Like, he's like, whoa!
Table for two over here.
I got us a booth.
We're excited tonight.
It's our first date.
Little tunnel.
That is nice.
So I'm sure that makes... Somebody's like, hey, you get a little ton action?
She go ton or a ton?
Yeah.
How was your first date?
She slip you the ton?
Woo!
Yes, ton. And honestly, it lasted for like five more Yeah. How was your first date? Did she slip you the ton? Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!
Yes, ton.
And honestly, it lasted for like five more seconds than I was expecting.
Oh, I love the idea of like, how many, sir?
I'm actually meeting somebody.
It is right here!
Yeah!
First date spirit tunnels
Yes
Oh my gosh
Hello my name's Maggie
Let's do the first date call
And will we be having dessert tonight
Stand up with me Dave
Let's get my little dessert tunnel
The tapioca pudding.
Tapioca tunnel.
And a little tiramisu for him because he's lactose.
I don't even know if that makes sense.
Gosh, I love it, Maggie.
Oh, I like the word person throughout the end.
Because you always say like, oh, I'm a morning person or a night person.
She makes it seem like there are just, you're either a dessert person or you're not.
You're like either dessert or an entree person. You got to be appetizer. Just you want
mozzarella sticks. You're not getting the molten lava cake at the end. One or the other right now,
one or the other right now. No, you want, you want the nacho, uh, nacho basket. Okay. Have
the nacho basket, but that milkshake is all for me then say goodbye. Yeah. No milkshake for you.
That is so true. Like, are you a dessert person?
Yeah, that's good.
Oh, Maggie.
I can't tell you enough.
I love you.
Love you.
I hope you send in a million more voice memos.
Here's the positive.
You sound really fun.
Yeah.
I think it's awesome.
Like that probably makes the janitor's day.
He comes into work and you guys are in a spirit tunnel for him on his birthday.
That's awesome.
Yeah. That's really cool.
It's good.
Good vibes.
Good job.
I haven't been to spirit tunnel in a while.
No.
Let's set that up. Okay no let's set that up okay let's set that up can you can you also do that with the shepherds german shepherds
and spirit tunnels and foot race and dancing with my sister that's what we do we go to the raytown
girl raymore waytown whatever it is raytown just right in front of her door just wait there the
spirit tunnel and just kind of see you stole my friend's laptop i see those leggings maybe we oh you know what do we go about this all wrong i was thinking like i
need to watch more csi more chrono minds what i should have watched is argo remember that movie
i never saw it okay well they go they need to like accomplish some you know cia mission in iraq
but they're not allowed in iraq
you know i'm kind of i don't remember the exact go oh i thought you were bargo i was like i was
like i know we talked about like north dakota accidents last week or something oh okay argo
yes i did where they make a fake movie so that they can go to the middle east whatever country
i like this i think we should have like a sweepstakes like you guys want to that's exactly
what i was thinking yeah yeah you want a huge check exactly what i was thinking all right we're
starting one right now go fund me for a big huge check
and we're going to the giant check i mean yeah we knock on the door we have a bunch of extras
and there's a german shepherd there but it looks normal like it looks like a celebratory dog
this is sparky the scholarship dog yeah you say one word in german though he'll rip your arm clean
off so no german speaking extras that's great just officer wallace
i'm making him come with me yeah officer wallace sweepstakes maggie wants to know are we dessert
what what's what was even the question i don't know yeah i i will say i don't want to pick on
maggie too much so that's just generally across the board i have a little bit of poultry with
people who have too much riding on one specific question.
Yeah.
Like, are you dessert person?
Like, okay.
First of all, probably.
But if they were like, you know what?
I've been trying to limit carbs.
And so I, uh, I just have a lot of protein in my diet.
Like, I don't think that should be like, well, in that case, I'm not ever going to marry
you.
I don't like dessert.
Oh, that's kind of a thing for me.
Because here's the thing, Maggie.
And I, I promise promise you this is true.
You can get married to somebody and eat ice cream without them.
I do it almost every day.
I do it almost every morning.
I'm a morning person.
I'm a morning ice cream person.
I really enjoy ice cream by myself.
You don't have to have somebody else with you.
Yeah.
Like everyone has hobbies and passions.
It's for some of them.
It would be nice if your partner had them.
But yeah, it is like, like there's plenty of things that Venn diagram.
We do.
Catherine and I do not.
Yeah.
Like worldview.
That's important.
I would say so.
Religion.
Probably important.
Yes.
Sits of humor.
Probably important.
Yeah.
But like, can you slalom ski? I don't know. That's okay. I don't know if it's important. Yes. Sense of humor, probably important. Yeah. But like, can you slalom ski?
I don't know.
That's okay.
I don't know if it's important.
Yeah.
All right, Tiffany, I got to know before we get too far.
Can, well, let me just ask, how many times have you gone slalom skiing?
What's slalom skiing?
Wait.
Seriously?
Wait, are you being serious?
What do you do in the summer?
So you just, you ski, let me let me get so you price key with both legs
Okay, sorry. I just got like wakeboarding. I got like right my mind around this so you and what do you do like you?
Just you just carve
Normally like you just go like straight every once a while you got outside the wake okay um
No, that's cool like so tell me school. What like what kind of boat do you have?
You don't have your own boat okay okay um so no sorry not even like a mastercraft just give me a second um so like what's your yeah yeah yeah like dessert or so like yeah what kind of dessert you
want it's like i turn on michael when he goes into it so like so what do you do with like so
you get the checks so you get what do you do with the checks once you get them you you uh put them in the bank or
are you asking me what i do with the checks once i collect them just trying to make conversation lady
all right let's dice like that that that scene a little bit i think that part's really funny
the part before it where he pretends not to be michael when she comes his face and then his
order i forget exactly what it is but it's like the michael scott order yeah it's like peppermint hot chocolate with extra whipped cream
or something like that it's like the most michael scott order ever it's just like those subtle
things are what makes me laugh so much of that show for michael he's looking right at him yeah
oh his face when he takes it just like just not want to be there uh oh doesn't he say wait he
like really attractive blonde hello my lady i'll
give you a uh 10 for looks two on our ability to describe herself something like that gosh that's
funny all right so all to be said uh good for you maggie i hope you find someone who's all
skis i think you guys will be very happy together. Okay, we should probably move on from that. That was fun. If I had known that opening one of my church services with Get On Your Feet would award
me a ghostie of the week, I would have done that weeks ago.
So I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I definitely didn't think it was going to land as well as it did.
But yeah, Brad, to answer your question, 100% of it was for you two.
I do not regularly open service with
that phrase although perhaps i should start because it is effective they do stand um i am
a little hesitant to do this but i'm going to and i'm going to commit to it if you give me
some other suggestions of phrases to open service with, I will do it. That's dangerous. Whatever it is.
That's really dangerous.
Literally whatever it is.
So please be nice.
And I'm looking forward to hearing what you guys come up with.
My goodness.
Love the pod.
Talk to you soon.
Thank you, Jocelyn.
I'm really nervous about this answer, to be honest.
What an opening.
Because you got to respect church.
You can't just be like, yeah, I don't know what.
Hey, you poopsies.
You know, like you can't say anything.
You can't call the congregation poopsies.
You can't.
Not at the beginning of the service.
No, no, no.
Maybe at the altar call.
We have all sinned.
You know, we've all been poopsies.
Yes.
Now we are redeemed.
Okay.
So what?
So she starts church.
She's like the worship leader.
She's on the mic to like really get
things kicked off yeah get on your feet so perfect i don't think we need to i don't think we need to
limit it just just the start at any point she can like say things yeah um gosh i don't i there's so
many let's start let's start simple let's start with a like a general metaphor i want you to do
a general metaphor during either a prayer or
an invitation at some point to like at the beginning, um, with the metaphor of I think
lions and crocodiles. Let's go back to that. Oh gosh. Let's just, let's just do, let's just do,
uh, wild animals. Like let's just keep it there. We don't need lions and crocodiles seem way too
specific. She could figure it out. Okay. Oh, I think she could figure it out. I don't want to,
I don't,
I don't want,
I don't know.
I've led worship,
but I don't want to like blaspheme anything.
Not that it's blaspheme.
Um,
yeah,
I would like,
um,
this is just,
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm going to fill out this.
I would like to hear a little like yodel,
like in one of like,
like while singing.
Yeah.
Like you hit like,
yeah. Yeah. let's think what's like a worship song with like an o that you could add that in there
uh oh gosh every worship song ever uh i don't know the only thing i can think of right now is
oh how i need you by uh all sons and daughters but that's not a very popular song but it's got a part
where it's like
oh
yo
yeah that's like
let's just look at popular
I'm just going to try to think of worship songs
no place
I'd rather be
no place I'd rather be, no place I'd rather be.
And here in your low, here in your low.
Set off.
Yeah, that's good.
A slight yodel.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
I think that's, that's perfect.
What's another phrase you could say?
Like something like, hmm.
How about just, do we feel it?
That's it.
Do we feel it?
She seems like she's at a church.
The video, I mean, it seems like a pretty cool contemporary church.
They seem like it wouldn't be crazy for her to do a quick spin.
Do we feel it?
Like if I did that at my church, people would be like, why is Brad being weird? But I think she could get away with, do we feel it? do we feel it like if i did that in my church i would people would be like why is
brad being weird but i think she could get away with do we feel it do we feel it and then yeah
i think it's a separate one but a quick spin i would like to see a quick spin hate the twirl
yeah don't twirl but a quick spin that'd be awesome yeah perfect or a slow spin maybe it
needs to be like more like serum a ceremonial spin no just a pirouette just
a quick yeah a quick whatever whatever whatever trisha uh triplet the would recommend yeah
whatever she would think is good so we can we can entice her invite her ask her dang that's
such a great question jocelyn i hope that helped i hope you one of those sounds good or all four
yeah we'll post them oh yeah they will They will get posted. Oh, I can't
wait. Do we feel it? Do we feel it? You gotta, you gotta, you gotta start slow. You gotta start
slow. And then you can't say the two goofy. Yeah. Like I would love for her to say giddy up,
but I don't think we're there yet with this congregation. I don't think she's earned
unless she's from, you know, Texas. It is the Texas church. Let's go.
We're going to have a great Sunday, you guys.
Giddy up.
And then like the first chord hits and then she starts strumming.
Yeah.
I like that too.
And then saddle up your horses.
Oh, and then that's where you yell.
Can you feel it?
Saddle up your horses.
Bring out a trail to blair.
I don't even know how to yell.
Yeah, it's hard to yell.
It is.
There's a skill to it.
That's why Mason wrote it. I don't know to blaze. I don't even know how to yodel.
Yeah, it's hard to yodel.
It is.
There's a skill to it.
That's why Mason Ramsey's doing so well.
Look at him.
Yeah.
Okay, let's move on.
How far?
I feel like we could talk about, yeah, we're like an hour 20 into this.
Goodness.
Goodness.
Hey, Ghostrunner Pod.
Hi.
My name is Faith, and this is mainly for Jake.
Yes.
I heard him talking about being around people that had COVID-19, and I just read this article.
So my question is, how tall are you?
According to this article, if you're over six foot, you're more likely to get the virus
because the particles hang out in the air up there.
Hang out?
That's budget.
Also, I really need to add that the party episode of the office is the safety dummy and
dwight pretending to be hannibal lecter hands down hilarious sure super bowl episode and i
know another girl shot her shot but uh i'm single too so i'll send you an email gosh
these girls are thirsty guys email my god email why you just sit on your donkey
well you said fax what does he say fax it to me Email. My God. Email. Why don't you just sit on your donkey?
Fax.
What does he say?
Fax it to me.
Oh, man.
Okay.
Jake's not that good of a guy, guys.
Don't.
I don't know if everyone wants him.
I don't deserve this.
I don't think you do.
You know?
Someone texted me. He's fine.
He's a B minus.
Yeah.
I can't even keep control of my own laptop.
Yeah.
I can't stay committed to a relationship
yeah yeah he's like a moth to the flames sure someone texted me this week and they were asking
a favor and they were like um my friend is obsessed with you yada yada yada and i texted
back i really don't feel like i deserve obsession like i haven't no there's nothing about me that
would make anyone like no one should be obsessed with me.
So please tell your friend to stop.
Unless she's Syrian and Lebanese.
Seriously, stop.
She's like behind in the corner over there.
She's obsessed with you.
Stop following me.
Okay.
So what's this nonsense
that faith's saying
that particles hang out
above six feet?
There's just like a house party going on and the
cool people hang out above six feet in the air.
I don't buy this at all.
Yeah, she's like, no, seriously, I read it
online at theonion.com.
Theonion? Theonion.
Theonion. It's nion.
The onion?
Like,
no, no, seriously, theonion.
He's like a really good like natural doctor they
pump out like eight articles a day so you know you can trust them like they they really like yeah
no no no seriously published no no yeah look at this i mean they have the nyan.com yeah dot com
yeah yeah i love the idea that on the front she she says hey i'm wondering how tall you are because
you know because of covid on the back end it's like i would love to date you secretly she's five foot ten and a half and she's like
like when when i wear heels i'm at least six feet gonna have to try harder on that face you
gotta be a little sneakier than that nice try i want to know how tall you are because if you're
safety also love i'm gonna send you an email well how much money do you make every year with Trey?
Because people say that if you make over $100K,
then you should be just fine with the virus.
And with me.
Yeah.
And by the way, I'm single.
If you answer the first thing right.
How about that Office episode, though?
Remember how I put that in between those two things?
Remember that? Yeah.
You probably forgot the first thing.
Faith, I'm 5'10".
Are you? Pretty average.
Okay, good.
Thanks. 5'10". Yeah, it's fine.
Faith, I look
forward to your email.
Alright, let's go to two more.
Hey guys, Avery Cohen here
with a comment
and a prompt. Firstly, the comment comment brad we are still loving our tables
and um the dogs are too do you feel it hide under it and wait for otis to come by so she can pounce
on him good dog they also use it to run around when playing cat and mouse for my prompt i'm gonna give y'all three titles and then you can
each pick one and do a slam poem or song from it or pick one together and do a skit um the titles
are my homes at the state fair sounds like a podcast piggyback blues and messy floorboards
all right can't wait to see what y'all come up with. Piggyback Blues?
I think I want to do Piggyback Blues.
That sounds nice.
Those are all good titles.
So, Slampo or a skit?
I'm going to do State Fair with my homes.
Okay.
Slampo.
Great.
Okay.
I can't wait.
I'm trying to just find a a quick list of state fair things
here i'll go while you're looking at that all right all right but i like listening to you too
though jake yeah you're gonna want to listen this this isn't even gonna be funny this is just gonna
be just and what's yours piggyback blues oh man this is just gonna i don't actually have no idea
what it's about to be you did that let's be honest, you've recycled this.
You did this sophomore year of college.
This is an old slam poetry of mine that only Avery has heard.
I shared it with her.
She's kind of setting me up right now.
Okay.
Piggy back blues.
Where do I want to go with this?
Okay, I know.
Me in a house.
I don't have a mouse instead what i have is an ailment ouch
slant rhyme yeah yeah yeah a crick in my back i yell zoinks faintly in the distance what do i hear is that an oink nice a pig comes running
no he's prancing i ask him will i ever go dancing
the pig says oink because he is just a pig but somehow we still communicate
you dig nice but somehow we still communicate. Ya dig?
Nice.
The crick is in my back,
and I need some help.
So I call on the pig,
who is still oinking with his yelp.
He steps on my back,
but with no indication,
he falls over, hurts his lungs, almost asphyxiation.
Ooh.
He is losing air, and he's getting quiet,
his pigment turning into shades of violet.
Nice.
Gosh, you're good at this.
I hate you for being so good at this.
Next thing you
know what did i do it looks like i caused some piggyback blues holy crap that's good i think
that actually that was nice like you write that down that was full circle no wonder no wonder you
reused it oh my gosh that was that was, that was awesome. I told you it
wasn't going to be funny. I'm going to be honest. I didn't even listen to half of it, but everything
I listened to was nice. Later this week, listen back to it. I will. I will absolutely do that.
I think that made sense. I'm sure it made more sense. You guys were expecting me to go to the
piggyback route, weren't you? Guess what? Cricking my back with a pig yeah you took you took some of
my things pigs sorry i think they're at state fair i've never been to a state fair fun fact
oh should we go that's yeah let's race oh yeah crocs croc spot that's like that's a state fair
croc big croc spot 100 you walk through the doors welcome to the State Fair crack spot. This is my crack spot gosh
Okay
I'm not good at these anyway guys and I
Whatever just have fun. Really you mean it really okay?
Okay, okay, okay, okay, uh mom's mom my home's at the State Fair
Slam-po
Let me get in let me get into my bag real quick. Okay. That's what they say right get into my bag days They say it. Let me get into my bag real quick That's what they say right
Get into my bag
Let me get into my no cap bags
Hey my name is Patrick Mahomes
Big O'Ball
Big O'Ball
Big O'Ball
Big O'Ball
Big O'Ball
State Fair is coming
So I come running
Nice
Giant Sly Fried Food
Kelsey loves it all
Maybe we'll even play
Some pickleball
Britt and I go up the Ferris wheel together
And maybe later Comp compete in a tournament
with balls of tether.
Snap, snap, snap, snap.
Coach Reed loves it that I'm a John Deere guy.
But really, I just love it when those carousels help us fly.
I'm losing the voice a little bit.
Milk the cow.
Oink, oink, oink, oink.
What?
I think you're milking something else.
Oh, crap.
That's a pig.
I made a little doink.
Food on a stick.
Now that's a corn dog.
Maybe later we can play
some pickleball.
Nailed it.
I milk a cow.
Oink, oink, oink. I'm it. I milk a cow. I'm it.
Dang it.
Edit.
Snaps.
Edit.
Oh, that was great.
That was great.
Okay, let's do one last voice.
Avery, thank you for that.
That was great.
Glad you're enjoying your Ellis Cousin Creations.
Yes.
Anybody can order.
I dare you.
I dare you to order.
Ship anywhere.
Yeah, I'll figure it out.
I'll figure it out.
All right. Oh, only 24 seconds. This is a quick order. Ship anywhere. Yeah, I'll figure it out. Figure it out. All right.
Oh, only 24 seconds.
This is a quick one.
What's up, guys?
This is Andy from Springfield, Missouri.
I'm sorry if the audio is bad.
I'm in my car and it's raining.
So I thought, what a perfect time to leave a voicemail.
Missouri, raining.
Anyway, you've heard of the phrase, this is the best thing since sliced bread.
Yeah?
So in 20 years, what's going to be the next sliced bread that everyone refers to?
And that's,
and that saying,
cool.
Love the podcast.
Talk to you guys later.
Whoa.
That's the best thing since,
since a wireless charging.
That's the best thing since air fryers.
That's the best thing since the instant pot.
I'm not talking about the,
the kitchen appliance.
I'm talking about the workout class down.
Yeah.
Whoa. This is the best thing since they started replacing raisins with chocolate chips in various foods.
Whoa, this is the best thing since you could press down on the keyboard on your Apple and you could get the umlauts for the ooh.
And the you.
Dang it.
Dang it.
Dang it, I'm so close.
I'm trying to think what else.
Try to be like really specific.
Like, yeah.
Whoa, this is the best thing since they invented toothpaste that replaces old enamel. Dang it, I'm so close! Try to be really specific. Yeah.
Whoa, this is the best thing since they invented toothpaste that replaces old enamel.
Yeah.
Does that exist yet?
If not, they will make it.
No, yeah, it does.
Okay.
Surely.
We're in the toothpaste game.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Whoa.
This is the best thing since the Ghost Runners came out on DVD.
Whoa, this is the best thing since we learned that cows go oink.
You didn't know.
Whoa, whoa, this is... Hey, whoa!
Whoa!
This is the best thing since the Chiefs won the Super Bowl ten times in a row.
Now we're talking.
Now we're talking. Any predictions for the Chiefs won the Super Bowl 10 times in a row. Now we're talking. Now we're talking.
Any predictions for the Chiefs game this Saturday
or Sunday? Like bold predictions
or just regular predictions? Give them to me semi-bold.
Medium rare. Okay.
Semi-bold is that Patrick Mahomes goes for
six touchdowns.
That's pretty good. Six touchdowns combined.
I think one's going to be a rushing touchdown. Sure.
Little bootleg.
Yeah, I just went with the naked boot.
I called up power, 38 power, but I could tell the mic was coming over,
and I just said, hey, let's naked boot.
And I ran in, touchdown, all day, baby.
But I couldn't do it without my bloggers.
So, Patrick Holmes, six touchdowns total combined. And we're going to, on defense, I don't know.
I don't know.
You go.
I'll go.
Let's see.
Bold prediction.
I was just thinking of interceptions and fumbles,
but I was trying to think of something more bold than that.
Bold prediction.
Butker misses three extra points this week.
What?
Sends Chiefs kingdom into hysteria. We win the game still, but everyone's like, oh, no. We're worried about Butker misses three extra points this week. What? Sends Chiefs kingdom into hysteria.
We win the game still, but everyone's like, oh no.
Like we're worried about Butker.
Right.
But then the rest of the playoffs, never misses a field goal, never misses an extra point.
Oh, so it's a multiple game prediction.
Multiple game prediction.
Okay.
MGP.
Good for you.
Thanks.
No, I like that.
Did you hear that we signed Dustin Colquitt, our puncher that we had for like 15 years?
I'm so confused why we did that.
He's back.
I like it.
We had Tommy Townsend's brother on our practice squad
and I think we traded him or sent him somewhere else.
Yeah, he got signed by somebody else.
Okay, so yeah, I don't think we had a punter
on our practice squad, so we got Colquitt back.
Is it like a normal thing to have a backup punter always?
Sure.
Okay.
Yeah, of course.
Okay.
You've clearly never gone to the state of our homes.
He talks about backup punters and pickleball mainly.
Like almost exclusively with Brittany.
That's good.
What was the question?
This is the best thing since.
Oh, this is the best thing since acoustic guitars strung themselves.
That is nice.
That's pretty nice.
That's not happening yet, but yeah.
I think end of segment.
You good?
Adequate.
Adequate job.
Andy, thank you for the question.
Shout out Springfield Moe.
Look, I'm Bearcats.
Yeah.
OK, let's end this episode with reviews of the week.
Oh, my gosh.
You go.
Yeah, I'm not that prepared.
Dude, what's up with Apple not updating it?
Our last one is like from December 8th.
Yeah, Apple.
So you got to go to Chartable.com.
Apple stinks.
Also, so many times the old logo keeps showing up.
I got to figure that out.
I don't know why the old logo keeps showing up. it's like all over the place yeah i've i don't know yeah
i kind of want a new logo really maybe okay i kind of like that one ghost one that guy made
remember that i don't want it i don't want it to look like a ghost though that's confusing
that's fair yeah thanks but open other, but no ghost. Whatever, dude.
You just shot me down.
I'm never going to talk to you again.
Unconditional love.
Give me a break.
Forget about it.
How much that logo cost you?
Arm?
Leg?
Big toe?
Okay.
I haven't even read this yet.
I'm just going to start reading it and hopefully it's a good review.
Perfect.
It's five stars.
It's got to be.
The title is Mindless Yet Thought-Provoking.
I've been a listener to the pod since about July of 2020 per my friend Mandy's suggestion.
When I started listening, I obviously had no idea how much I would eventually value
listening in on two random dudes conversations about sports.
Yeah.
Is that?
No, no, no.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
Which I don't follow at all.
LOL.
And Chick-fil-A.
Oh, okay.
There we go.
We all have made such a crazy year.
Have a whole lot of life.
Zany.
I've started saying, hey, great joke, man joke man that was funny like y'all do instead of just laughing when i think something's
funny wait what oh like sometimes we just like like affirm each other like that was funny yeah
oh okay do we do that often i guess i guess that's fine that was that hey that was good yeah
and people get really uncomf heehee seriously, I've been super isolated and pretty.
I'll just keep reading it.
I've been super isolated and pretty depressed this year just due to school being canceled
for COVID, living kind of far away from family and friends and not working much.
Listening to a clean podcast with really genuine nice guys.
Oh, thanks.
Has helped a ton with isolated feelings and such.
I love you guys.
Thanks for all the jokes.
Signed, Lark. Happy as a lark. feelings and such I love you guys. Thanks for all the jokes signed Lark
Happy as a lark lark the herald angels thing that is how it goes no as lark
Wolf
He's lark twice yeah
Lark Kellogg nice Lark Kent Lark hunt Lark hunt Tony Tony Lark Kellogg. Nice. Lark Kent. Lark Hunt. Lark Hunt.
Stark.
Tony Lark.
Yes.
Your turn.
I'm done.
No.
Try.
Hey, what are you doing with that car?
You can't Lark it here.
Take it.
What are you, scared of the Lark?
Dark.
Dark.
Oh, nice.
Pudding.
Park.
Sark. Nark. Oh. What do you work for? The narcotics division? Nice. Yeah, nice. Pudding. Park. Sark.
Nark.
Oh.
What do you work for?
The narcotics division?
Nice.
Yeah, okay.
My review of the week is,
this is the Desius pod.
Any other that claims it irks me.
Desius, that's a meld.
That is an inside joke from a different podcast,
but thanks for bringing it over.
That podcast is dead, so we'll bring it in here.
It's dead.
Yeah.
I'm officially obsessed.
This is my slam poem.
You're going to read the review as a slam poem.
Didn't think I could binge a podcast.
I started from the beginning so that I could build my vernacular with some ghosty inside
jokes, and I'm loving every single one.
I even
recommended this to my 15
year old sister. How old?
15 year old sister.
15 year old sister and I think that's cool
that we can enjoy it together and I can be
confident that every episode is appropriate.
Super funny. That's
f***ing true.
Actually, keep this audio in there,
but also will you just edit out freaking
and just have a bleep for freaking true?
So that's freaking true.
Okay?
Actually, keep the whole audio there
so people know that I'm not actually cussing.
All right.
Also, thanks for opening my eyes
to how great the Chiefs are.
And that's coming from a lifelong Broncos fan,
so you know I mean it.
The Chiefs are so good.
And the Broncos stink.
And the Broncos were so good for so long.
And people at my school growing up, they were Broncos fans.
And they rubbed into my face every year.
The Ed McCaffrey days.
Oh, yeah.
They were so good for so long.
John Elway.
They killed the Chiefs.
Terrell Davis.
And they got Peyton Manning.
Give me a break.
Come on.
Give me a break, Brad. So it's a Chiefs. Terrell Davis. And they got Peyton Manning. Give me a break. Come on. Give me a break, Brad.
So it's a Chiefs time.
I think we should maybe start reading reviews in fun ways.
Okay.
Maybe.
I like it.
We'll see if I remember that next week.
I've been trying to, I've been reading a lot to Hattie this week.
I haven't done much else, but whatever.
She kind of gave me a hard time for that.
And every once in a while, I'll try to like read the characters with like fun voices and
she'll always do that.
She'll say, dad, you're being funny.
I just want you to be serious.
So hopefully she doesn't feel that way for the rest of her life.
Killing the vibe.
Because if so, then she's not going to like me very much if she always wants me to be serious.
But Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, hey, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Just be serious.
Read me the book.
Dad, you're trying to be funny.
I want you to be serious. I'm like, dang dang it i'm doing a really good general nut mouse i'm doing a good impression of general nut mouse i'm sure you are i was i'm sure you are tum tum
and nutmeg and general nut mouse come on come on it's a good book so would you like to end this
episode with a jingle yeah shout out to okay shout out to heather lee is the girl that wrote us this
one um heather lee i gotta i gotta just poke fun at you a little bit not as much as maggie but Yeah, shout out to Heather Lee This is the girl that wrote us this one
Heather Lee, I gotta
Just poke fun at you a little bit
Not as much as Maggie
She originally, she asked me like
Hey, where do I send this? I said send it to this email
She sent the first one, and I didn't even respond to it
But luckily she got smart
She sent the first one
And this first jingle
Was to the tune of
Nine in the Afternoon afternoon by panic at the disco
if you haven't left a review yet and you know that song please leave a review because first of all i
don't know panic that does go very well at all because i like good music and then uh i'm just
kidding kind of um and then i looked it's not even like the top five songs on spotify from panic at
disco and so i don't even know i was like i'm
not gonna learn this song um so thank you for writing another one she wrote another one um
it would be funny just someone writes us a review to like this is a song from the soundtrack
to what it was the third shrek yeah it was it was the third it was like in the second it was
like during one of the montage parts it's that song it's a binfold song i'm sure you know it so it's one of his first albums yeah that exactly uh but she just said
it so matter-of-factly like to the tune of nine in the afternoon by panic of the disco um so thank
you for not making me sing that song um but i will sing this one which i don't know that well
either but i know the song you'll crush crush it, baby. Let's do it.
Let's do the Indian call.
Right here?
Five, six, seven, eight.
What's the matter with the window open?
It'll scare Catherine at night.
Maybe I should buy some custom creations.
I bet Brad has some that you'll like.
What's that sitting in the fridge?
That's just Hattie.
Pop it down and get a hug from Big Daddy.
Everybody's trying out new pods, honey, but it's still Ghost Runners for me.
This is well written.
Yeah, I know, right?
Hey.
What's the matter with the shorts?
Jake's wearing nothing's wrong.
George Sarge is his style.
Thank you.
Perfect hair is he, an Old Spice model.
Hair is nice, but have you just seen his smile?
There's Old Spice in my hair right now.
Nowadays, you can't just say the word beef.
A tick took red meat from Jake like a thief.
Weekly babe, poultry crave, Mr. James, a Chick-fil-A.
It still goes runners for me
wow this is
impressive
I don't know how
far it goes but
it doesn't matter
what they say in
the reviews when
a Karen M is on
the scene
sure
Jake moved across
town and laid a
giant rug down
covering the
vent for air
conditioning
and Isaac can't
find a thing
How about a custom table
And a monogrammed charcuterie board
You could really be a patron, baby
And see special times they record
Don't waste your money on a new Target dresser. It'll take you a very long time to put
together. Just drinks, braid, and stinks. We want more. Treat your shit for please. It's
still Ghost Riders for me. Oh, that's it. That's it. Oh. Well, Bruce Springsteen style.
That was a well-written jingle.
Man, I mess it up too much, Heather Lee.
Write another one to some obscure Owl City song and I'll learn it for you.
Yeah, that was a good song.
I fumbled.
I fumbled too many times.
Fumbled on the two.
That's not Patrick Mahomes.
No, that's pretty good.
That was like Patrick Mahomes mixed with Walmart salesman.
Fumbled on the two. The arm and the leg. You fumbled Walmart salesman. Fallen on two.
The arm and the leg.
You fell on two.
You don't accept shit.
Like what happened?
Yeah.
Let's come over here for a second.
Gosh, that dude sucked.
Stunk.
That dude stunk.
I really don't like that guy.
Okay.
Thank you guys for listening to episode 88.
We did it.
Tony Gonzalez.
And also the speed at which you
transcend time and back to the future.
Great Scott. I think.
I've seen that movie once.
Okay. It was good. It's a good movie.
I didn't see it until I was married.
You haven't seen that? I'm saving a few things
for marriage. One of them is back to the future.
I had a random. Good for you. Good for you.
What else? No, I'm just kidding.
I had a thought of what if we made a bracket?
We'll probably only do like 16, but we made a bracket of like the best movies that Jake
and Brad have never seen.
And I think that people could vote on like, and we'll like watch the final four.
We'll watch in one sitting and then we'll rank them.
This is a fun idea.
I think like, cause there's so many out there that I was just like, I hadn't seen Die Hard
until this week.
Die Hard is so good. I haven't seen so many good movies. that's what i'm saying here's what i'm talking like classic movies i don't want to be like pan's labyrinth up in here
like okay cool you're a hipster that likes movies you have to read the subtitles i'm not into that
no beowulf no thanks speak english but avatar which i haven't seen you've seen yeah we'll have
to figure out ones that we have both not seen but yeah have you seen armageddon yes uh you see gladiator yes dang it love gladiator dude it's really good there's so
many i haven't seen you seen uh braveheart i've seen like part of it all right so yeah let's count
it let's count it you haven't seen any lord of the rings only see the first harry potter um uh
yeah that's a fun idea though here's what i'll do i will have a separate talk with my immune system
this week and say hey if we are going to get it
I would like for it to be a time
where it's convenient for Brad and I to watch a lot of movies together
yeah you think that's like a fair trade
get on the sleepover that we have when Catherine's out of town
for a week yeah yeah perfect
hopefully if I'm going to get it we can quarantine
together kind of sure and watch
some movies I love it it's a good bracket idea
thanks GBI
okay yeah thank you guys for
listening sign up on patreon if you love us and you want jake to get some money back for his lost
computer sure oh man i got some some heaters lined up for the patreon i've been doing that series of
like weekly just videos from our living room which people are loving it i mean harrison's the star
of course and always i've got two in the hopper that haven't uploaded yet.
One is hopper.
Uh,
one's fun.
And the other one is Harrison locking his keys in his car.
It's a journey.
Okay.
It's a good,
and I filmed all of it.
So,
all right.
Thank you guys for listening,
watching,
supporting.
However,
you are contributing to us.
That's cool.
You do that.
Us.
Us. Yeah. Really appreciate it. You do that. Us. Yeah.
Really appreciate it.
Wow.
We went long this episode.
We're getting longer and longer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have a good time.
Yep.
Bye.
Bye.
Love you guys. Go for a podcast.