Ghostrunners - 9 - Gimme the girth

Episode Date: July 8, 2019

Brad's laffy taffy joke empire continues to grow, the logistics of Jake's social life in middle school are put to the test, and both find some common ground having issues ridding their bodies of moisture.  Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So then I said, the monkey bars, it's a Tuesday afternoon. Welcome back to the podcast. We are the Ghost Runners on Second, aka the Ghost Runner Podcast with Jacob Triplett and Bradley Ellis. Thank you guys for tuning in. Episode eight. There are literally dozens of you joining us and we appreciate every single one of you. I want to thank the people in the back, especially for being here live to be our laugh track.

We got a live studio audience. Guys, let's practice if I say a funny joke. Good. Good. That's very good. Yeah. Like you said, there's about 12, 13 people here watching us. So it's pretty nerve wracking, but they're going to do a good job. Brad, how have you been, dude? I've been good, man. I i uh yeah just got done playing basketball with you which was fun we did um i wore a comfort color shirt tonight very insulating very comfortable but very very showing of where you were sweating goodness gracious i look like i just went through a hurricane it must just be the humidity outside that affects the humidity inside which maybe that's just an obvious thing but yeah the last few times we've played basketball we have just

been sweating up a storm we're in an amazon it's swamp sweaty in there it's gross we're in the everglades national park of basketball courts gotta be good for you though oh i think i feel great afterwards sweat it all out oh yeah i look i look good too oh yeah most people like the way they look after they sweat you definitely look better oh my hair just like it's like matted down in the front and just poofing up in the back for me it's just my overall complexion when i get done running around just like the way my face looks it's like puffy in some areas i think my cheeks are cherub super like a young cherub yeah i look like i kind of look like when they show you in the science books that they found that one skull that's like a Neanderthal that might be the missing link between monkeys and humans.

I look kind of like that. Like buried in an avalanche from thousands of years ago. Yeah. That's funny. I always try to hop on and either make a video or just put myself in front of a camera when I've got done working out. I look good. Well, how are you jacob uh i'm good um trying anything new that's going on uh my parents are out in uh out in the woods basically they um i don't think i've talked about this on the podcast before i don't know no oh maybe you said something about this yeah

they kind of were first vacation yeah yeah so they're going out so they went flew out to vegas they've been uh road tripping around they go zion they're there today arches um they they went to arches saw some pictures of that awesome uh my dad sent me a video here i'm gonna try to play it i hope it's loud enough he just out of nowhere sent this video to my sister and I a couple days ago. I'm excited. I've never seen a video of your dad that I did not enjoy. And you love him in general. Yeah.

We have fashioned our pants in that tent. And we're just going to stay here in Bryce Canyon. Love you. That's it. Just a little Michael Scott. I didn't know that they were office people. Oh, yeah. I mean, by a little Michael Scott. I didn't know that they were office people. Oh, yeah. I mean, by default, I guess.

Yeah. But, like, my parents have seen all the episodes, but I don't think they could quote anything from the office. Really? Yeah, that's awesome. Oh, yeah, they're quoters. Big quoters. That's great. Fashioned our pants into a tent.

Yeah, they're having fun. It's fun to get updates from them. They had birthdays in May and Mother's Day in May. It is a lot going on. So I got them different gifts kind of for this trip national parks pass coming my little camelback backpack you got them a parks pass parks pass that's pretty expensive thank you i'm not trying to you know throw anything out there but yeah let's just say i used to eat uncrustables i'm just kidding we went over that so i did not we could not afford uncrustables although i did use

it in a rap song that i made that you randomly have the lyrics memorized too i mean i made this song i used to post facebook videos daily and so it wasn't my best work because i was coming up with videos daily i was go ahead but also it's not bad for doing a daily videos i came up with this song original song just about growing up in the 90s. I was just about to say, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but that is my favorite thing you've ever done. Really? I think so. What about episode 7 of the Ghost Runners podcast?

Better than that? Maybe. Honestly, maybe. No, I could look back and probably find something that I really also enjoyed. It's cool to know that it still has your respect. I loved it. Like, because I think it was clever. Yeah.

And it was just, yeah, I don't know. And also I just love looking back on childhood and looking back on the nineties and stuff like that. Yeah. Anything that does that. I really enjoy.

I already love it. So I, yeah, I used on crustables because I needed something to rhyme with huxtables. So I was like, even though I didn't. Oh yeah. Get down on this, I know that they were around. Love it.

Gosh, I, one time, and I didn't obviously do it, but I thought about really truly memorizing every word of that song and then making a big and sending it to you. Like in the car, like I thought about it, like I was driving, you know, for 20 minutes one day. And I was like, I know the song pretty well already. I didn't do it. So that's funny. I mean, recently you like texted something to me about it like I said one word that was in

that song from yeah four or five years ago and you knew like the entire line and like what it rhymed with oh man this is like in your memory I loved it dude I did it was catchy and yeah obviously I can talk about it for a long time but if you guys care enough you can either scroll way down on Facebook it might be on my YouTube channel honestly every few months i'll go and check my youtube and then i think it's on your youtube oh maybe so i'll like privatize things it might still be there um just give him just give him five dollars and he'll send you the link yeah there you go unlisted link anyway so uh i'm good parents are good um got to pet a dog today. That was good. Sister's dog. Georgia.

Sister's dog's name. His name is Georgia. Yeah, not the place we're at or not my sister's name. Did she get up on your head and you're like, oh gosh, I got Georgia on my mind? Oh, nice. You had that look in your eye that I knew a pun was coming. I couldn't figure it out.

Dude, speaking of puns, how are the jokes coming? Great. Where are we at uh like total like revenue total in like all together i don't know but this month alone and i'm almost embarrassed to say this because they're so bad and they're so cheesy but i've made 1 250 this month for j June. Last month. Yes. I guess, yeah. Technically, yeah. Yeah, June is over. $1,250. Yes.

On these stupid little jokes. They are so silly. That's amazing. Can I pull one up for you? Yeah, give me your proudest one. Oh. Or give me a couple. Just give me a number and I'll just... Because I want to show people how bad they are.

I don't want to be proud of them. There's a few that are like, oh, that's pretty good. But there's so many that are so bad. How high do the numbers go? In my stock right now, I have 134 that are non-animal food or sports. Because I got told, hey, no more of those. But I also think of those every once in a while so I have 57 of those well just give me number

give me number 85 real quick okay so number 85 why was the bandaid why was the bandaid's fashion so bad wait hold on why was the bandaid's fashion so bad it doesn't even make that much sense I'm not going to guess it

it was hard to pull off oh yeah it's okay make that much sense. I'm not going to guess it. It was hard to pull off. Oh. Yeah, it's okay. Does that make sense at all? Give me another number. It's okay. Let's go number 13. Oh, sure.

That's a classic. My high school basketball number sophomore year. I'm sure all the listeners know. What do you call a coin dressed up like Santa? A coin dressed up like Santa. So many routes to go. Is the pun more with the coin or more with Santa? Well, I mean, obviously it's going to be both. Both.

Coin. I'm going to think something with penny, something with dime. North Pole. Elves. I can't think of any, like, middle ground. What is it? Well, first of all, literally a middle ground. Not penny or dime, but a nickel. Saint Nicholas. Yeah, dang. If I would have just kept going down the

coins. Let's do one more. I want to guess it. Okay. This is, like, if I would've just kept going down the coins Let's do one more I want to guess it This is such a weird form of improv Guess the punchline to a cheesy joke And it's so bad that it doesn't make sense What is a coin dressed up like Santa? A lot of personification So much person

Give me, let's go into the Food animal sports realm And give me 19. Okay, you bet, buddy. Number 19 coming at you. What did the chef, oh man, this one is like PG-13. PG. If you're not 13, just skip ahead, hit the 30 second ahead button.

What do you call, what did the chef say to the egg? I'm kind of proud of this one, actually. Well, now I'm just trying i'm like thinking of inappropriate things no we wouldn't have said that uh yolk no i said let's get the shell out of here oh nice that's that that actually makes sense like twice like it's a pun and it actually makes sense that the chef let's get the shell out of here we don't want that in the food right that's pretty good yeah thanks that's a five dollar joke okay one more that i'll say that i'm kind of proud of what did the animals do when this is so random that i think about these things what did the animals do when a

new bird wanted to be in their club what hold on i can't even process everything you just said what i don't even okay start over what you're not gonna guess guess it, first of all. Maybe you will. Just give it to me from the top. What did the animals do when a bird wanted to be in their club? The animals. Animals is so vague. What did the animals do? They said... What did the birds do when a new bird wanted to be in their club?

Either way. It said, fly on in. They formed an ad hoc committee. Oh, my gosh. There's no way eight-year-olds are going to get that. But that is a funny joke. I mean, I wouldn't say funny, but it is. That's a clever joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's no way eight-year-olds are going to get that, but that is a funny joke. I mean, I wouldn't say funny, but it is. It's a clever joke.

Yeah, it's up there. Thanks. Ad hoc. That's funny. Well, I just said it was funny. Yeah, I think it is. Ad hoc. Look it up if you don't know. Hey, idiots out there,

look it up. Guarantee you half half the people if you're being true to yourself do not know what an ad hoc committee is i love being true to myself that's my catchphrase 2019 be true to yourself don't be false to yourself you have a shirt a comfort color shirt that says that on it and i wear it to play basketball and man i sweat so much tonight and i only want i only got one batch of sweet tea at mc, too, because it was starting to drip. I couldn't even fill my cup up. That's the worst. We need to have better standards for McDonald's at 11.15 at night.

I know. We just accept whatever they give us. Yeah. We just get their crusty leftovers. Also, there's this guy. They're scraps. Brad and I have been playing pickup basketball Thursday nights. I mean, essentially ever since I moved back to Kansas City, eight months ago.

And a while back, there was this guy there. i don't know how we got talking about this but the dude who i don't know somehow just dropped oh i have a really famous friend on facebook or whatever oh you're talking about the mcdonald's worker oh yeah yeah yeah how do we go to mcdonald's after basketball oh yeah sorry i kind of jumped ahead there yeah every almost every thursday night after basketball go to the same mc McDonald's. There's this guy. Do you remember how we talked to him about this? I think we were just – I like always having conversations with the people, and so I think I just said something like, how's your night going, man?

You guys been busy? Something like that. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, you know, I'm about ready to get out of here. I'm like on my way out of here. And I thought like, oh, like your shift is over. And he then explained like, no, no, no. No, I got this guy.

He has like all these followers on Facebook. Yeah. He wanted to be a fitness guy. Something. Like a fitness social media guy. Anyway, each week we come back. Still there. Still there.

Which is good for him. That's what Dave Ramsey would tell us to do. I'm rooting for him. I want him to be a Facebook influencer. I think he's got it in him. I think you do both until you get the... Until you absolutely can't do both. Yeah, that's a good call.

But we'll keep you updated on the guy from McDonald's and if he ever makes it big and where you can follow him. But for now, don't... Don't. Don't get too excited about where he's at. Don't do it. So a couple episodes, Brad,

we did the random eight that you found on the internet, and that led to some good conversation, and we talked about doing it. Oh, God, I got a burp. Take it away. Oh! Oh, goodness. Bleep that out. Sorry. Sorry, live audience. You can probably smell that.

Ooh, it's stinky, Poppy. Sorry, that was my five-year-old nephew. It stinks. I actually don't have any nieces or nephews. That's okay. Is it for now? Oh, thank goodness. I've been worried about that. Caitlin will be a failure, but what's up? Eventually Caitlin will be a failure if she doesn't have, Oh, okay. But not yet. She's still right now. It's kind of a good thing that she doesn't because she's not married. Yeah.

You know, that's traditionally what you should do first. Anybody out there that needs to know, that's what you do first. Okay. You get married and then you just start having nieces and nephews. No funny business, huh? Anyway, we're at random eight. So Brad and I, we didn't get these from the internet. We just kind of, we tried not to think too much about it.

Just like random questions that could lead to some conversation. And we haven't went over these. We're talking about them at all. So we're going to hear them for the first time. Brad, would you like to start or would you like to not start and let me start? I want to serve you by letting you start. Gosh, I love it when you do that. I'm third.

Such a servant-hearted guy. Thank you. Okay. Number one. Ooh, I'm excited. Okay. I've never thought about this before before so i don't even know what my answer is going to be but uh what would like your all-star starting five lineup of fast food items be wow so it has to be from five deep question five different places assembling your ultimate meal oh my gosh so one of them could even just be like I want the sauce from here and the drink from here any facet you get five items Wow but not like I want the straw from here the live mirror you know you can say that the drink sure

sure sure okay five items just off the top what are you thinking let's go number one the chicken fingers from raising canes okay but the raisin cane sauce is great but my number two would be the honey roasted barbecue sauce. From Chick-fil-A. From Chick-fil-A. Okay. Absolutely. Number three would be a McDonald's Coca-Cola classic because they do it differently there.

Straws are thicker. Their straws are better. They're not thicker, girthier. They got the girth. Before I'm loving it, wasn't there a catchphrase or something where we got the girth? Give me the girth. They said it like that. They gave it with the pH.

They had James Earl Jones come in. Give me the girth. Give me the girth. Give me the girth. Only 90s kids remember this. Give me the girth. Oh, I remember the girth campaign. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sesame Street was really big, and they were girthing it up. Oh, Rugrats were the sponsors? Yeah. Give me the girth. I don't know if that's what they sounded like. I didn't watch Rugrats. Me neither. Parents wouldn't let me.

Too sarcastic? Disrespectful to their parents. Yeah. Not in this household. Yeah. No, thank you. Good for them. Yeah.

Good job. Angela, not a good influence. Shouldn't be friends with her. Shouldn't be friends with her on TV. My parents never said that, but they might have. Honestly, I don't think I really put up a fight. They were just like, maybe don't watch that show. I was like, that's fine.

Yeah. I'll watch Arthur. Right. Arthur's so much better. Which DW, she had some cunning things. She had some sass to her. Anyway, so we got Cane's. Sass, by the way.

Honey Roasted Barbecue. We got the McDonald's Coca-Cola Classic. Yeah. And then Ford's. We got the McDonald's Coca-Cola Classic. Yeah. And then fourth. We got the girth. Gotta have that girth. Hey! That was.

Fourth, we will go. This might not be fast food, but I'm going to throw it in there. No, I'm not. I'm not going to do that. I'll go fast food, quote unquote. Thank you. This is an arguable fast food quote unquote thank you uh this is a arguable fast food is five guys fries no we've been over this episode one they do not have drive

through okay uh oh man I don't know why I went middle eastern uh I don't know what the other even was there just wasn't the drive through it's not a full sentence but I said they do not have a drive throughthru. You must go in. I'm trying to think of some kind of side that I want that's not from Chick-fil-A. Honestly, because I don't want to just do all Chick-fil-A stuff. We'll go... This isn't the side, but you know what?

It's my all-star. We're going to go a chalupa from Taco Bell on the side. Because it's a beefy meal you like chalups i love uh yeah they used to make nacho cheese chalupas now they own or baja as well or very good now they only do like supreme baja oh wait i guess baja could be fair i was just so caught off guard i'm thinking baja blast no no it was like you put like pico de gallo in there instead of like the sour cream. Okay, okay. And then fifth would be a dessert, obviously.

And Andy's ice cream has a drive-thru, so therefore it's fast food enough for you, Jake. Well done. And I would get a chocolate custard, chocolate concrete with either M&M's or Reese's Pieces, as we had talked in the past about how both of those are very great mix-ins. Good pieces. That sounds awesome right now. Oh, man. I could go for that. Too bad it's 2.14 a.m.

Yes. What are your kids doing? If you're... What? Oh, I'm just asking the general... You know, remember those ads? No. Or maybe it was not an ad maybe it's a tv show

or something it's like ad hoc it's 3 14 p.m what are your kids doing they reference in the office remember uh michael's doing that like um paper delivery run when they have michael scott paper company out of the korean it's 4 55 p.m or a.m do you know what your kids are doing yeah yeah if you're pam's parents or ryan's, you know, you're going on pay-for-delivery, whatever they say. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that, and I didn't totally catch the reference. It's some kind.

I don't know what it is. If anybody can tell us in the comments after leaving a five-star review, that would be great. To answer your question, and this might come as a surprise, I do not have children. Not that you know this has never come up but yeah um not that on that note well i don't know have you ever thought about like hypothetically like sperm donation not doing what do you mean by that more like i've thought about i haven't really gone as far to like really look into it but i've thought about like and not

even like morally but just more like just thinking like what would that be like to technically have kids that you don't ever like see or have any relationship with my gosh would that be weird or is that like an easy thing just like oh yeah i yeah back in my 20s i'd you know help some people out and i i have some kids running around i think that'd be weird yeah i really haven't i think anybody that thinks about it for more than two seconds probably would not do it unless there's like some kind of higher reason that somebody really needs your help but even then i would be like can you just adopt yeah is it really in demand i don't know from what i know about men pretty eager to procreate yeah i don't know probably shouldn't have brought it up but whatever i'm keeping it in um i think it's my turn to say something what am i supposed to say your answer the question of the oh right right like i know

it's like my turn to talk but i don't know okay um this is literally all i've thought through so far so after this first one it'll it would just wayne brady baby improv and um i want to get chow mein from panda express that for some reason that was like a no doubt you're kidding it's so good oh my god they're nudes i would absolutely always get fries over noodles i'm sorry sorry not fries rice it's like what are you going to fried fried rice sorry i'll get fried rice i used to and then in 2015 they were out of rice and i've never looked back really literally i've never turned around since then i only look forwards i'll use a mirror every now and then but but that's i mean yeah that's because i'm at the barber shop and that's kind of the only option to say you

like the back i'm like i don't know what it's supposed to look like this is the only time i ever see the back of my head is right now i have no idea what is that what is that wouldn't that get there like what are you talking about like that freckle i've never seen that what is that did you do that um okay so we got chow mein um what a terrible first choice i'm so sorry shut up it's good i seriously don't know if you know how good it tastes it It's so good. Every time I get pandas, I start with the chow mein. The only reason I'll ever have chow mein is if you buy it for yourself and you let me try some.

I will not risk my money for that. Last episode, I talked about it. I was like, I don't really talk about food because I eat to live. I'm not a live to eat kind of guy. But I said I'll defend it. And this is me defending it. I'm like, trust me. It's a pretty good set of needs.

Okay. Stop saying that. Oh, your brain is so dirty, Brad. it and this is me defending i'm like trust me it's a pretty good set of needs okay stop saying that oh your brain is so dirty brad i can't believe you would think that gosh okay now you're married i get it i'm not um okay at this point i don't know what else let's go i can't believe go ahead i just can't believe it's like obviously chow mein that everything else is just a wild card it's just like now i'm blank i'm like i don't even know what else okay let's go even though i've never done this combo i believe in it let's go you know my favorite sauce to say out loud i said it out loud today um you know what i said today

actually which made me feel even dumber my last time at wendy's i said i just went for it i was like can i get the um sauce of sosh and i felt like i heard her repeat my answer like oh awesome sauce got it i was like wait have i been saying it wrong did i think it was saw some sauce this whole time and now it's just awesome sauce either way it's idiotic but today i said awesome sauce for the first time out loud still felt so freaking just dumb okay i would take the the sauce and sauce from wendy's okay chick-fil-a tenders we're at three now i need my power forward uh i would like tenders these are just bad no they're not the sauce and sauce is so mediocre i tried it the other day. Go ahead.

It's all right. I give you a hard time for your food choices a lot. No, you do. You're the only person I know that gets a vanilla milkshake. That's the most boring milkshake. Guess what we're getting next, baby? We're going to McDonald's and getting a vanilla milkshake. Oh, boy.

Large. Large, you dog. Whipped cream, no cherry. Actually, I don't especially order it. I just pick off the cherry. I'm a capable man of doing that. I didn't realize that people dislike cherries so much. I saw some tweet the other day. Oh, I'm in.

The only way to eat a cherry, and it was picking it up and throwing it in the trash. Oh, that's good. I can have four. Really? Oh. Oh, I'm in several anti-cherry Facebook groups. Facebook groups. Support groups, per se.

Yeah. But just people who like to rally around a common cause who does facebook groups anymore you know what it's actually pretty big facebook recently redesigned their website to feature groups because that's what's keeping people on the website really so i bet you feel pretty dumb but for the record i'm not back in like middle school and high school there was like a group for everything like there was probably a i like cherries group yeah and there no one ever did anything i remember i'm you said that and it made me think of this one time we had a discussion at lunch about what's better raw carrots or cooked carrots you and i did no oh me and megan johnson and a bunch of other people that

were sitting at the table okay Okay. And Megan Johnson. And I agreed that raw carrots are way better than cooked carrots. Cooked carrots are mushy and gross. Okay. And so we literally, like she made a Facebook group that said, I love raw carrots way more than sick A cooked ones. That's what it was called. I don't think I got into Facebook groups like this back in the day. Well, you should have.

Yeah. Because it was true. You owe that to Megan. Anyway, you didn't do that. I don't remember doing that. I mean, they weren't all like that, but there were some random things like that. Like, Mr. Glenn's fourth hour class. And like, not for educational reasons, just like.

Just to band together, guys. Yeah, I guess. Share a Google Doc or two. Anyway. Okay, okay, okay. I use Facebook groups somewhat now, a little bit. Good. Okay.

Vanilla milkshake at McDonald's. I don't have a drink yet. Let's go Cherry Limeade from Sonic then. Really? Yeah. Good for you. Rounds out my top five. Easy ice or are you okay with the ice?

I always forget to do that, but I should. If you're out there, you don't know. Say, I had a friend in college and she was so adamant about it. She would say easy three times. She's like, they don't listen if you only say it once. Easy three times, only ice once or easy ice, easy ice, easy ice. She would say, can I get a large cherry limeade? Easy, easy, easy ice.

Every single time she went that way. And that made a point and they would be like, all right. See, I do love the ice for the stabilization aspect of it. cherry limeade easy easy easy ice every single time she went that way and that you know that made a point and they would like all right see i do love the ice for the stabilization aspect of it but you can get too much and then it's like you just soak this thing in ice yeah but then second drink second drink yes right okay what's your first one first question first question uh it's it's it could be a food-related question as well. If you heard that it was getting discontinued in a month, what one thing would you stockpile up on? Would you stock up on?

This is any item? Yes. That's being discontinued. Don't be like, gas. Don't say something like that. Like, okay. Don't be too practical. No. Just think of what what

do you really like yeah think of think of something that actually would get discon like first impression is pizza rolls okay i love those suckers and easy to keep a lot of them like i right you could get deep freeze yeah i would buy a deep freezer and fill that sucker i think i would that's my answer combination uh pizza rolls you guys know allergic to red meat uh but apparently not enough meat in the pizza rolls i have uh so i they're still um on the docket for things i can eat so yeah i'd go crazy yeah also quick tidbit uh the license plate p z a r o l l is available in kansas and i've thought about it but also i was like wait do i want to be this kind of person at all and then i thought no so i did that i agree like

there's no thing that you could put on a license plate that i think is good enough to put on a license plate yeah it's it's tough to pull off in a way that's like, whoa, that's sweet, dude. I saw your license plate. I genuinely cannot think of something that is funny enough or worthy enough to put on there. Maybe that's why you don't have a tattoo either. Absolutely why.

And absolutely why I would never get one. See that? I've been taking online psychology classes. That's a lie. I've lied like four times this episode. Okay, so pizza rolls. Are you, I don't know, maybe it's a lie i've lied like four times this episode um okay so pizza rolls are you i don't know maybe it's a stereotype but like i feel like if you like pizza rolls you're anti bagel bites are you i'm an anti bagel bites facebook group i like combination pizza rolls

way more than like sick a bagel bites gross um it's just like a picture of bagel bites with the you know ghostbusters cross out i generally don't know if i've had a bagel bite i've always loved pizza rolls so much that it's like why would i switch you're right i think for the record you're wrong about a lot of your food choices but that's not pizza rolls over bag bites um what would you get i good question by the way once i once i thought about it was very obvious uh dr pepper oh dang if they're if they're leaving i've made a huge mistake if dr pepper is leaving i gotta get it all coke is still around though yeah okay i might be all right i yeah there's similar things out there but oh dr thunder oh yeah i get down on dr thunder in your scenario maybe maybe maybe i. Maybe, I don't know.

Oh, also Mr. Pibb. Wait, yeah, no, yours is dumb. Mr. Pibb is so good. I just remembered. I would miss Dr. Pepper too much. Mr. Pibb at Chipotle? Oh, yeah. It's so good.

Of course I do. Yeah. And you would still stockpile something that has such a similar replacement? Yes. It's different. I think you're going to regret that when this day comes people listening will will stand up for dr pepper our live studio audience is not standing they're all still sitting down hey poppy how do i get up off this chair who is this kid and who is this

why is he calling you poppy uh you don want to know. Dr. Pepper is so good. I mean, it is good. I have it a lot. Some days when I feel a little off. Yeah. Like lightheaded. I got a headache. It's probably because I haven't had Dr. Pepper.

That's what I need. Oh, man. I'm not going to urgent care. I'll tell you that. Yeah. I do love Coca-Cola, but only if it's from McDonald's. Not only, but it's way better from McDonald's. Whereas Dr. Pepper is very consistent. Can, bottle, fountain. Yeah. only if it's from mcdonald's not only but it's way better from mcdonald's whereas dr pepper is

very consistent can bottle fountain yeah so i'll go i'm gonna go we're gonna go snake draft on this so i'm gonna go another snake draft do you know the song snake farm oh yeah do you actually no oh yeah of course i see saw uh, never mind. Okay. Perfect. Okay, number two. Follow me on this one. This is number three in total. Let's go cumulative. Correct.

I'm so sorry. Number three. You win $100. This is a scenario. Okay. You win $100 for every... Thank you for telling me this is a scenario. Okay.

Listen. Now, this is going to be... I think you're getting a little snippy now because i can make fun of your chow mein and that's okay but just just be ready for it to come back i think it's fun on podcasts to just take a stance just about anything just like just just have an opinion about anything sorry go on though scenario you win a hundred dollars for every phone number you can remember in your contacts, but the first number you get incorrect means that you lose all the money. You can walk away at any time with your winnings. How much do you think you would win?

Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. Can we go home phones that have maybe now been discontinued? I was imagining it being some phone in your contact like if if your home if those home phones are in your phone still okay i think i could get four okay mom dad sister old home phone really i would get a little nervous once i had 300 i think 417-862-6621 but i'm not not sure. For your home phone or for Caitlin's number?

That is home phone. You don't remember your home phone still? Sorry. Oh, we're taking a stance on this. I have lived a lot of life. I can remember numbers on a chalkboard. Yeah, you're great with numbers too. That's the other thing.

Hey, I can remember every zip code I've ever lived in. But you can't remember your home phone that you told every single kid growing up. Hey, yeah, just call me on there i never talked on the phone really yeah your friends didn't ever call and say hey can jake play today no i think i got like if they would have i would have been like embarrassed to talk in front of my parents so i just would have avoided it i almost exclusively did not ever talk on the home phone so how did you make plans with your friends i don't know if i did a lot well i guess you had your cousin that lived like right there so that wasn't like ninth grade oh yeah i don't know how i hung out with people i knew your cousin until ninth grade

i mean in fact i can't remember how i hung out with friends in sixth grade okay but you made it happen how did i hang out with friends you they never called your home phone i don't remember now now i'm wondering either way maybe just you scheduled it at school hey let's go to your house maybe i don't know i might just be misremembering things but okay you can count on me to remember numbers just tonight basketball randomly you said jake what's four to five by seven yeah 0.571 right you can remember numbers too yeah within a second i knew 0.571 there you go any simple uh fraction guys i know it to three places. You just let me know if you need it.

I love that about you, Jake. That's one of the things I would put on your casual resume. Oh, let's talk about that later. Okay. What's your thing real quick? Oh, I said 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Really? Yeah.

You're a smart guy. Yeah. I don't doubt it. Six. Who are the peeps? Plus home phones, I think I could get more. That's a great question. My mom, my dad, one of my sisters, which i feel bad about to be honest that's okay um my wife

and then my aunt cindy i also probably know my aunt cindy's home phone if i can think about it you know your aunt's home phone i don't know if i do actually now that i think about it uh i and then i had and then my my friend scott i know his cell phone but i think i also know all my my three best friends growing up i know all their home phones so i mean so maybe that is telling i because i don't know anyone's oh yeah i call them all the time we had this thing called uh what was it star 56 star 66 where it was like if you called and the phone line was busy, you could do this thing, star 56. And then it would call you back. Like your phone would call you back whenever they were off the line.

So that you knew exactly when they stopped talking. So that you could, and then you picked up the phone. Oh, this is sweet. And they would, yeah, start calling the other. So they had no choice in this. Their phone would just start calling you whenever they got off no i'm sorry uh just like your phone so if i'm calling scott scott's line is busy i got hang up i do scott yeah star 66 whatever 56 i wish i knew um and then my phone

then calls and has this specific kind of ring i I can remember it still. The link, the link, the link, the link, the link. And then you answer it and then it starts ringing to Scott's number. It's a wild daisy chain of commands and sounds. It's something that we'll never have to worry about again. I was thinking about this recently. I really, really hope that a thing of the past is not having service. Yeah. It just frustrates me.

It's such a 21st century thing. It's way more of a thing of the past than it ever used to be. It already is. You don't think about it very often. But now it's like, oh, I have service, but I don't have data service or something like that. I would love in 10 years to be able to say, oh, yeah, you used to sometimes just not have service. If you went to Wyoming, you would not even be able to send a text. Yeah.

I really want that to be like a crazy thought. I remember a long time ago there was a thought of like whole cities getting Wi-Fi. Like I remember Philadelphia was like on this, you know, trend to like do citywide Wi-Fi. And if they can do that for the country someday, then you can connect everything with Wi-Fi. I had an idea one time to put Wi-Fi in the roads. And that way, like while you're driving, you have Wi-Fi. Well, they have cars now that have Wi-Fi in them. This idea came to me when I was in like 10th grade.

Oh, really? Yeah, it was before cars had Wi-Fi. I was like, what a cool way to like have internet while you're in the car. Because you also like, we didn't even have data then. I was like, they could put Wi-Fi. I was like, what a cool way to have internet while you're in the car. Because we didn't even have data then. I was like, they could put Wi-Fi in the roads. Just constantly seeking a new signal. Like every, you know. Yeah, that's the thing.

It would have to be like. 20 seconds. Somehow where they're all the same. Yeah. Whatever, server. I don't know. Hey, that'd be cool, man. Science.

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Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. My noun number four? How good are you at parallel parking? Funny, I just did that yesterday. And I am good, but my new truck is huge. So I'm bad at parking it anywhere. What a flex. If you guys could see my truck, talk about extended cab.

That just sounded funny. That's why I laughed. No, so yesterday I was on 39th Street, and it's just a thinner road, and I saw a spot, was with our friend Peter. I stopped, was about to parallel park, put on the turn signal, and this guy. Parallel park.

Oh, no. I got a big truck. and this guy parallel part oh no I got a big truck fire pole fire's not there's no fire poles maybe hydrant darn it it rhymed it's fine but as I was I'll probably just go back into it

as I was trying to back up and get into this spot, kind of stressed about this new truck being big, whatever. This kind of person was trying to go around me and so I said, forget it. I'm going to a different spot. So I pulled

around the corner. But I did eventually parallel park in a different spot that was less traffic-y behind me. Let's say a normal car. You feel pretty confident in your ability. in college we had to park on the street a lot you've done a lot senior year yeah and so i i parked yeah parallel park all the time are you willing to like make traffic stop behind you to parallel park yeah more well obviously that's why i said in like this truck i was not as because i realized the

first time i went in oh this is not working i'm gonna have to go back and go back again with a car i think i can hit it on the first try whip it take two point turn you ever do the two pointers like holy crap i'm the man yeah i think i could do that like yeah so i'm okay stopping traffic because i know it's going to be stopped for 10 seconds you're confident your abilities yeah good for you. I won't stop traffic. I think that's just a general personality thing. Like, I hate the idea of even slightly inconveniencing anyone.

Really? Like, they give me the wrong drink. I'm like, that's fine. I don't want to ask you and make you have to do more work for me. But I would say I'm pretty good at parallel parking, because I don't have a ton of experience, but pretty good at it. common theme when i i know this is such a weird thing to jump to but anytime i like uh parallel park successfully not every time but every now and then like man i wish a girl was in the car i wish she could have seen that uh it's like i don't

i don't try to impress her with wit with charm just man if she's funny parallel park i've really had that thought before because i think that katherine is equally as good as i am at parallel parking and i don't think it's like a manly thing of like wow that guy's a man yeah i don't think it comes from a stance of like you could never check uh-huh me out i don't know i think uh that's just that thought has entered my brain like man i wish there was like a girl watching this like that was that was solid that was quick it's precise that's hot that's hot that's hot um no i i stop traffic all the time even in like every time i uh back into my driveway our street our cross street's kind of busy and i always back into my driveway i don't know why it's just a

truck thing maybe and people stop for me sometimes i always give them a little wave like hey thank you thank you thanks for waiting but i'm okay with it cool good to know where we're at yeah pps um here's a question okay which words are the hardest for you to spell on your first try oh um i'm not trying to do anything too cockily, but I don't think I have trouble spelling many words. Really? Really? I'm sure I do at some.

I just don't know. That's impressive. Good for you. That makes you even more unique. I'm sure there's something out there. You give me your answer and maybe I, if there is is one top of the power rankings rhythm okay where does that y go where does that h go i know they're in there i know they're in the kitchen somewhere but i don't know where to put them okay well that's one thing i guess i'm not 100 confident is it rhy thm don't ask me i don't

know really okay i would say 60 of the time I don't get close enough for them to correct me, which is bad. At some point, Jake, just memorize it. Just use some sort of mnemonic device. H before Y when you're spelling rhythm, you idiot. That would be... I have like a... Oh, not complex. Whatever the word is.

I judge people way too much when they have spelling errors. I hate it about myself. I wish I didn't. I wish whenever I saw grammatically incorrect things or whatever, apostrophe doesn't need to be there. Mondays doesn't need an apostrophe. You corrected me on my Instagram story before. I know I did.

I feel so bad because I'm like, dang, I know better than this. I know better than this. Yeah. But it's Apple. Blame a little bit on iOS autocorrects any plural day of the week to have an apostrophe. That is okay. And it's not possessive.

It's not Mondays are the worst. Right. That would not need it though. It doesn't. There's no. Mondays are the worst. We're not need it. That's what I'm saying.

But it would still add in the apostrophe. Oh, I see. Because it's not possessive. It's not. And it's not like Monday is are the worst. Yes. Right. Sorry.

I'm just mad at Apple. I know. I think this is like a weird, I don't know if anyone else will probably, if ever noticed this before, but there's oddly a correlation, I have a theory, between videographers, highly creative people,

and spelling. So many videographers that I follow, at least on a professional level, spell words wrong in their caption all the time. And up to the point where I've noticed it, I'm like, what is it about making videos that makes you bad at spelling? It's probably just two different types of brains, you know?

Yeah, I guess that's what it is. But it's funny that that's like enough of a common theme that I've noticed it. Like loose and lose. Oh, man. They spell it wrong all the time. You'd be so surprised in my work, people spelling dining incorrectly.

Oh, a dining table? All the time they say, how much for a dinning table? What? We don't sell those, Barbara. Read a book. How do they, and how do we not have autocorrect that's going to correct that? Like, there's no way that dinning is a word. You can't tell me in 2019 it can't tell, like, context yet?

Oh, man. I mean, apparently not. That, and this is another thing that I've noticed a lot of people. Tell me about it. I don't know if it's necessarily everywhere, if it's a smaller town thing to be honest but a lot of people say i seen yeah i've seen your work and i i've heard people say like yeah i've seen that like i've seen like but to say i've seen that and to say it in a sentence that you type out i've seen him just the other day yeah i've seen your

stuff and i really like it yeah geez it's like oh you're not ordering from me i i don't really think that but kind of sometimes i'm like oh boy do you i really don't think do you know who joey salads is no just that a tool bag of a youtuber i mean so many people just hate on this guy he just he you've probably seen like people do stuff like maybe even seen his videos like he'll do this stuff they're all basically fake and you know just like saying the n-word in the hood prank where it just it's all fake and so many of his videos perpetuate this like that all these different just like bad things like he tries to perpetuate that like black people are violent and uh and like he'll even it's not just like oh That's the theme of the video. It's just like he'll open his video by like guys today

We're gonna see if we get into any kind of harm Just just playing a harmful prank on these people or whatever. He's just he's the worst Okay, so many people make fun of this guy anyway just few days ago. I somehow stumbled upon he's running for Congress Oh gosh, and sorry this is coming full circle, so I checked out his Twitter, and it's, like, so incorrect. He said, I think it was I-seen. Or I-been. Oh, it was I-been. I-been me.

No, that would be correct. How did he say it? Whatever it was, I was just like, this dude just continues to be the worst. Yeah. He's, like, trying to run for Congress, and he can't spell words right. He's, like, using grammar incorrectly. It kills't spell words right. He's like using grammar incorrectly. It kills me. So annoying.

Joey Salads. Get out of here. Joey. I mean, his name is Joey Salads. Get out of here. He's not even named after a good food. No, not even a food. Joey Whopper.

What up, it's Joey Pizza. Like, oh, okay. I'll go there. Where are we? Yeah. He also, one last thing, because I feel like I didn't give a good example. He, this is an actual prank he did and this dude went to the hospital.

No, no, no. Alright, sorry. I got this. He did a fake prank where he said I'm putting pepper spray in my friend's vape pen or whatever. I don't know how it works. To try and convince him to stop vaping. Which is just so dumb. Yeah, that's good. Don't talk to him about it. Do this.

Anyway, it's a fake prank but the guy like coughs and coughs and whatever you know it looks real yeah well someone actually tried to do that and then that guy you're kidding got in really really bad like you know had to go to the hospital like that screwed up like the lining of his throat and you know everything and then it all like yeah it's just like you like, you moron. What a dingus. Salads. Golly. Just goes to show, don't trust salad. Don't trust them.

Parks and Rec, which I know you don't watch. Sorry. They hate on this company or this restaurant, Sue's Salads. Okay. Because they do salads. It's just salad. And they're not healthy people. So, okay. Number five.

Who knows? Okay. okay number five who knows okay my third one is name a movie that you would turn into a 10 episode Netflix series oh one of my favorite movies that I like because it's so

intelligently done is the movie Memento do you know about this movie? have we ever even talked about this movie? Johnny Depp? not really I've heard of it but no I've not seen it for sure old movie

but Christopher Nolan ran it Christopher Nolan like the year 2000 I think made this so you know it's good everyone out there imagine with me a timeline of events on the left is the beginning of the story on the right is the end Okay, the first scene of the movie is Black and white and appears on the left side of the timeline. So it's like the first scene of this story Okay, that takes place for about five minutes

Then the next scene is now on the right side of the timeline and And it's in black and white. Or now it's in color. Okay. And so it just, you know, it keeps going back and forth. Left, right, left, right. And so the last scene of the movie is the middle of the story. So it's already cool the way it's done. That is interesting. Very thought-provoking.

Very interesting. It's just fun. This is like a phone-down, glue- in for an hour and a half and watch this movie and find out what happens. Also the main character has memory loss issues and he's trying to like this isn't giving away too much. He's trying to find out who murdered his wife

or something like that and the only things he trusts are his tattoos that he gives himself once he uncovers another step of it. So you see this last scene where he's got this tattoo. What what does that mean how do we get you know just like stuff like that it's good little voice crack little flim in the throat anyway I'd like see what old Chrissy Noll could do with ten episodes yeah of that Wow I love that you said like I

don't want to give anything away because it's like been route it's it if that's true spoilers gosh I don't know i know a lot of you are trying like i haven't seen it yet theaters it's like been out for 19 years or whatever you know like i don't want to give it i don't want to be a jerk and give it away for any of you guys that just are just working too hard and just saving up i think a lot of trying to watch it on blu-ray try to watch on vhs a lot of people probably haven't heard of that movie, and now they want to see it. Who is the main actor? It is a guy who looks a little like Brad Pitt, but not him.

I know that doesn't help much, but I don't know his name. Oh, okay. Christopher Nolan. No, I mean Christopher... What's his name? Fight Club guy. Christopher Robin? Yes.

Wait, is it Fight Club guy? I don't know. There's no way of knowing. I'm asking Fight Club guy? I don't know. There's no way of knowing. I'm asking you. Well, I don't know. What's his name? Edward Norton is his name. He doesn't look like Brad Pitt, though.

I don't know his name. I like the movie. But you've seen Fight Club, so you would know how to connect to. Have you? Have you seen Fight Club? I've seen Fight Club. Don't talk about it. I've seen it, but that was many moons ago.

Okay. Doesn't matter. Just please stop badgering me about brad pitts well i feel like i feel like that was a lot deeper than my answer oh sorry i don't know what it is my answer was i am legend it's one of my favorite movies from high school bill smith is in that yeah yeah billy old billy smith william um and i just loved it you know it's awesome and there's probably you could probably

have expanded that so much more and gotten into different things going on and stuff I've never seen the movie oh it's really good but I know that a dog

is involved because the internet tells me things oh yeah yeah it's so good I think it's and I'm not sci-fi

really that kind of thing but it's so good it's not like super eh kind of super sci-fi but not like is it like a-fi really that kind of thing but it's so good it's not like super yeah it's kind of super sci-fi but not like is it like a last man on earth kind of thing exactly like apocalypto yeah uh-huh that's a fun word to say right so he has to he has to stay alive with all these people trying all these zombies trying to kill him and stuff zombie movie i don't think i knew that yeah but it's not like i don't know not like not walking dead walking dead i was gonna say grateful dead not walking dead zombies like, I don't know. Not Walking Dead zombies. Walking Dead. I was going to say Grateful Dead.

Not Walking Dead zombies. Yeah, different. I don't know. I really, really liked it, and I haven't seen it in a long time. And Will Smith for 10 episodes. Give me that. Easily my Mount Rushmore of actors, Will Smith on there. Have you seen all those memes?

I mean, this was obviously months ago. The YouTube Rewind video featured Will Smith. He's like, that's hot. However, Will Smith says it and all right another burp um anyway everyone just using that and like memes and videos just like after anything happened just will smith like that's hot no right never saw that fad i like it it's okay it was mediocre best uh okay your questions are so good, Brad. Keep them coming. Thanks. All right. Number seven. I know this is number seven because you have one more, I think.

Cool. What is a normal, quote unquote, thing that other people can do that you cannot? Let's find some negatives in your life. Poke some holes. That I cannot. That is good. I feel like sometimes I talk about myself too much. In a positive light. For example. Let's really tear me down here.

Blowing a bubble, you know, or whistling, something like that. My dad, my dad can't whistle. He can, he can whistle, but only inhaling. So it's hilarious when he whistles, he'll be like, you know, like, like I have to take this big breath. Oh man, it's funny. I mean, there's so many things I can't do. Whistle.

You can't? For one. Blow a bubble for two. No way. You just said all the way. You're kidding. Yeah. Can you snap your fingers?

Oh, like crazy. Okay. Can you do triplets? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Me too. Was that triplets? Did I just do?

Yeah. You're teaching me all these musical terms. Yeah. Cicado. Stacchiato. Cool. Didn't know I could snap triplets it's good though um i can't this is embarrassing one but i'm gonna say it i'm gonna be vulnerable uh but i still feel better because my sister can't either so i'm like hey brush my teeth i'm unable to put on deodorant it's the weirdest thing i just um i can't swallow pills really i know it's

not that abnormal thing but it makes me feel like i'm six years old when i say that literally you cannot or like it's very hard for you i don't know if i ever have really painkillers you you have chewables or do you just yeah don't be don't be embarrassed they i so like sometimes when i travel i'm gonna be gone for a while it's like well i should take some painkillers you know it's just smart to have right but those things clank around in there and they clank differently than like your typical pills do oh no i get self-conch about my clank and chewable pills wait a second why is why does that sound so now that sounds different to me that's a different rattle that's funny wow but it makes me feel better that my sister can't do it because i'm like oh it's

probably genetic then you know it doesn't make you feel as much as just like a wimp that's so funny so i'm hoping it's some sort of like gag reflex thing when did you like give up on trying to learn how to swallow pills i don't even remember a time when i was needing to swallow pills i've been very blessed to live a you know a pretty healthy life yeah and so i don't even know when i would have needed to it was sometime in high school that i know i needed to and i just couldn't get her down i'm just gonna laugh so hard not truly but if you go to the hospital someday for something kind of serious and then you i'm like just smash it put it in some pudding like yeah they just have the hardest time like there's like four nurses in there like like pinning you down we get to bring in a dentist and some of his tools

we gotta open them up here and you're crying a little bit like it's making my eyes water i think someone flicked me in the nose oh oh gosh somebody put pepper spray on my jewel again i mean i i wonder i mean if my life depended on it i guess sure you could or i just bite it and just you know they they whenever i was learning back in the day, I feel like they had some that were, like, more coated to go down easier. So maybe you should start with those. Coated? Like a taste?

No, not like a taste, but just, like, gel or something to make it. Yeah. Right. Rather than, like, the kind that, like, gets stuck on your mouth or something. One of my friends, quick story about things being in your mouth. One of my friends from college, one of my really good friends, she told us this story. This was like,

we laugh, but it's kind of an iconic story. Cause it was like her, and this is such a funny thing because I went to a small college. There's only one dining area, only one cafeteria. And so this is her first time sitting at our table. So it's like almost our first impression of her.

She tells us this story. She's like, yeah, it's about dentistry gets brought up. She's like, Oh man, the last time I had the dentist was pretty embarrassing. We're like, what happened? She's like yeah somehow dentistry gets brought up she's like oh man the last time at the dentist was pretty embarrassing we're like what happened she's like my doctor she's or my dentist he's like it's not like he's a kid dentist but he had flavored gloves they were purple and great flavored gloves which sounds awesome yeah we're all like oh my gosh that's awesome my dentist

should have oh you know flavored she was nauseated but no she was like it was like a natural reaction she's like i would find myself like licking his fingers when they were in my mouth like she's like i would catch myself be like stop but she's like it's just like a natural reaction like want more of it like it tasted good she's like my tongue which is like it wasn't laying still it was like to the side, resting on his finger while I was in my mouth. Which I'm like, maybe he's used to it if he's going to walk in here with his grape gloves on. Get out of here.

That's so funny. Oh, wow. When you said coated, that just like clicked in me. Coated with grape gloves. Oh, boy. There's no way those are any kind of sanitary. On the outside, I don't know. Like, what kind of artificial flavoring do you put on a latex glove to keep it, like, good for years?

Oh, my gosh. That's not good grape. Okay. I love that I just, yeah, blowing a bubble, whistling, and... I was like, keep going. These are it, baby. What else you got? You're so high-functioning, but you are so low-functioning in, like, normal things.

Thanks for saying I'm high-functioning. You're welcome. I'm on the spectrum. No, you you're not that's not what i meant okay maybe that should be the high the title high functioning jake my answer so i had to um one of them is a little bit more like seriously i can't do this and everyone's like i'm not as good as most people so my first answer is roll my r's can you do that yeah yeah i have never been able to i was a spanish minor in college spoke lots of spanish but like i bet they bullied you for that oh i figured out a way around it instead of doing the double r's you pretend like it's a soft d what so like an example What? So like you could say, I like my dog. You could say, me gusti.

Me gusta mi perro. So instead of saying, I like, okay, perro. P-E-R-O. P-E-R-O. Translation, dog. Dog. You're saying it with a D? Yeah.

So you say it like with a double R. Me gusta a perro. Yeah. That's very good. He was born Italian, but i grew up in spain i was a boxer so i had a little bit of both i don't know um yeah and instead of saying perro which i can't do yeah yeah i said pedo pedo you almost pronounce it like p-e-r-r-r-d-h-o i'm gonna be honest it doesn't seem like that great for work around because I can notice the difference in

say it the way you said it now say it with a D instead I don't think anybody is going to notice my tongue knows a big difference do it one more time just say perro no we're going to up it My tongue knows a big difference. Do it one more time. Okay, this is hard for me. I'm not normally good with Spanish on command. Just say perro. No, we're going to up it.

Me encanta perro. Me encanta perro. Yes. Okay, I'm convinced a little bit. But it's not that much different. Okay, glad we talked. Can't roll my R's or whatever. The other thing is not truly I can't do it,

but I am so bad at drying myself off that's one of those other ones i'm like embarrassed to say um and it makes it sound like you like it's not because you didn't say after the shower i was laughing because it just seems like some days i'll just i'll just be really wet and i just i can't try myself off there's nothing i can do i cannot calm down i just i keep wet. And I just, I can't try myself off. There's nothing I can do. I get a towel. I just, I keep sweating and sweating. No, I just don't know if I don't care truly. And like, I'm just like, Oh, I'll air dry. Like, like, or if it's like a talent thing, you know how I feel about washing my hands.

Like every time I go to a restaurant, I always love right. Either right away or right after I order, I go wash my hands. Um, and yeah, just have a hard time drying my hands off or whatever, you know? I mean, they're, they're not soaking, but they're not perfect. So, um, anyway, I have a hard time with that, man. And I'm, and it's like, if you, if you don't struggle with this, you're like, what's so hard? What's so hard about it? And maybe I'm just being too critical of myself and my drying abilities, but I don't think I am.

Yeah, I would say for something like drying off in the shower that I've done thousands of times, sometimes I'll just forget to dry my back off. Yeah. I'm like, how? Why am I not good enough? Maybe that's what it is. I'm not systematic. Yeah. I'm just like like ah my hair you know you know one thing i have hardly any routines in my life but i do go like the same way i kind of a head shoulders knees and toes rhythm to it okay

sometimes the back just gets skipped which is weird um so sometimes i'll do that i'm trying to think how else i mean yeah I don't want to get too gross or anything but sometimes I'm just like in in my shorts I'm like I am I am very wet yeah like that did not go on very easily like that's how I know I'm like did I do a bad job oh my gosh I would love to well I caught myself before I said something i was like i would love to have another guy dry me off and see if it's different oh have a robot you know i yeah i don't know how how to know if like if i could be better if this is just like you know blind spots i think is what the body has some blind spots you just can't see i think about that when i'm in the shower i'm like there's

several parts of my back that i haven't touched. Maybe ever. Soap has never touched like the L37 vertebrae on my back. Like soap will never touch it. It's probably fine. I kind of think about that a lot. There's several parts of my body that I'm not exactly like, ooh, make sure that's clean.

You're not emphasizing those. Like that weird part behind your ankle bone. Oh my gosh, no. No. Do you clean the bottom of your feet every time i assume when i'm stepping on the soap that it gets the job done i got a splasher so yeah i clean them maybe once every 60 times it's like oh i played sand volleyball they look dirty if it's obviously

like yeah there's something down there involved right i wonder if we're pretty on par with other guys or other humans yeah or if this is weird to not wash your like i don't know your body i don't think that feet are washed every time like legs do not get my best effort at all like shoulders oh oh oh mr miyagi the shoulders arm arm neck um but then it's like by the time i lower body just whatever's left left over just drip down me and just kind of get it done I will touch my quadricep and my hamstring and that's kind of it

can I tell you something else that's kind of vulnerable more than anything in the world and I'm telling you to inform and to implore you to do the same because it really is life changing I use a loofah in the shower never do you know what a loofah is first of all i know what loofah is i've never

hopped aboard the loof train i i cannot emphasize how great it is nice you can just yeah oh my gosh i think that the best part is that's sufficient your soap goes so much farther in that thing and it's just amazing and honestly one of my friends from camp was the first person that told me about it and you have a manly color no it's white it's white and i bet if people looked in our shower they'd be like oh katherine uses the loofah katherine does not use the loofah Catherine does not use the loofah she can't she can't get down it's exclusively dad's loofah it's weird but it's awesome so all right loofah good to know I might try it out I would encourage it I feel like I hardly ever buy things though is that a weird thing to say you know it's like I'm never just like shopping for things ever yeah you have to

be intentional about this loofah trip and I want my Lufa to be intentional with me because we're going to get close. Yeah, very close. Good. I mean, but I'll just say one thing real quick. Please. I've had this bar soap for a long time, and I love it, and I got it for free from this company

that sent me something for being a woodworker. It's like a manly brand of soap. It's like you got a scholarship for being left-handed. Oh, yeah, we just give out soap to woodworkers. It's like a manly brand of soap. It's called duke cannon if anybody wants to check it out anyway rugged uh it really is and it's like become such a small piece of soap lately and i have been able to hold on to it for so much longer because of this loofah i feel like i kind of get that way with toothpaste like all right this is probably my last brush with this toothpaste and

then the next you know morning next night whatever it's like i'm like all right we're good one more we live to fight another day yeah for the next nice guess one more uh okay last uh of the random eight and then we'll end this sucker uh brad what is an extreme sport you wish you had the guts to do oh man honestly all of them because i'm i don't have the guts to do any of them right now because i messed up my knee in college and um but let's let's say the one i most wish i could do or want to do would be is this a sport is like any kind of jumping off of things like cliff diving or base jumping. Yeah. Anything like that.

Like sounds awesome. And I guess I could do that because I'm that that wouldn't mess up my knees as much as like I'm thinking of my initial reaction was wakeboarding because our friend Gunnar loves wakeboarding. Sure. And he's so cool. And I'm like, I want to learn how to do that. But I just know that it's not worth it for me to hurt myself yeah but yeah any kind of jumping or hang gliding or that uh the squirrel suits the squirrel suit you remember that video with a wall nation and the guys like zooming on the squirrel suit i remember that was the first time i'd ever seen

uh a squirrel suit and i was like that is the coolest looking thing I've ever seen. Was that in their music video? It wasn't in their music video. It was in this really popular video of this guy using a squirrel suit and flying down this mountain. That's sick. It was probably when I was a junior in college. So whatever that is, 2012. So it was awesome. That'd be sweet.

Sire! Sire! I just remember the cat video cat like jumping to you know get to the windowsill and it doesn't make it i think that was the meme i saw whatever um not not a cat guy not a cat video guy personally okay well i had a different answer when i asked this question but i think i'm going to change my answer based on what you said i think cliff jumping yeah i think it'd be so sick. It's a pretty common videographer cool thing to be able to get sick footage

of someone doing gainers off cliffs. If that could just be me, then I guess I'd still need someone else to film it. I think it would feel really cool to just... I guess just flipping in general. Just having the guts to go for a flip. Have you ever seen the videos of people they just like run up a tree and

do a backflip yeah i i don't think that's got to be that hard to do like you run up a tree you're already three four feet off the ground you've got to commit that's a great head start just throw your head back but it's like i'm scared yes but i think i could do it I do not personally for the record yeah yeah so just like flipping in general it's just like scary but freaking sick dude check this out maybe then girls can watch me do that instead of parallel park oh he parallel parked and then flipped it he he took me out to the cliffs well sorry before that I mean he parked. He didn't even need to. The parking lot was empty, but he did. And then he did a gainer. Anyway. What is more attractive,

girls? Parallel parking or being able to do a flip? Let's call it a simple flip off a diving board. Or whatever. Yeah, no, I think that's good. Let's hear some feedback. Guy rolls up and does a... Wait, let's go gainer.

Gainer's kind of cool. Okay, explain to people what a gainer is. You are looking forwards. You kind of throw your head back. You end up rotating backwards. Yes. And still landing forwards in water. Yes.

All right, yeah. Just let us know your thoughts, ladies, dudes, whatever. If you're a guy and you've been with a girl who's parallel parked, was that like, were you into that? I think I would be. Oh, I think it's kind of attractive. Sure. I think Catherine, yeah, Catherine being able to do that was like.

Let's go, babe. It's definitely not like, oh, boy, I got to get out of this thing. If she can't, yeah. Or if she can, you know, it's definitely not a turn off boy i gotta get out of this thing if she can't yeah yeah or if she can you know it's definitely not a turn off anyway that's great well episode eight is done thank you guys for listening as always we appreciate it see you next monday brad hit him with a jingle baby they call them ghost ghost ghost runners