Giggly Squad - Giggling about 2022 fashion trends, cryptic pregnancies, and customer service crushes

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is up? It's another ungodly hour. I feel like when we're tired, we actually put out some premium content. I feel like we're fun. I feel like we're fun. I feel like we're fun. I feel like we're fun. I feel like we're fun. I feel like we're fun. I feel like when we're tired, we actually put out some premium content.

I feel like we're funnier because we're like stupid. Because we don't care at all what's happening and we won't remember it. How is your week? A bitch is tired. Same thing exhausted. But Craig and I are going to Mexico next week. I'm very excited. Where?

I have no idea. I prematurely just said yes. Go for you. You fucking need a vacation, dude. But can I tell you what I'm most nervous about? Shitting yourself, eating all the Mexican food? Okay, did think about that. I was like, oh my god, don't drink the water.

Don't drink the water. But also we're going with like his family because it's like someone in like one of his cousins like birthdays. So like the whole family is going and like we're going to Mexico. So like I Thought like my ass would be out in bathing suits. Oh, I forgot the Strasse. All the time. So stressed. Like, they're so wholesome and nice and like, I don't want to be like, Oh, here's our son's whore girlfriend. Do you own a bathing

suit that isn't a thong in the back? No, I really don't. You need to go back on Amazon, boo. You need to get those high waisted thick. That's what I got. I cover that booty. Guys, I'm going to do a whole Amazon haul for just non-slitty bathing suits that you can wear with family members. No, but I think people would appreciate it. That's very important because the bathing suits out right now are like are like rap music videos and it's like not everyone's trying to have sex on the beach when they go to the beach.

It's literally dental floss. I do have to say I am completely biased but I'm going to make a statement. We've been traveling and meeting gaglers, right? The gaglers are all so funny, smart, beautiful, and successful. No, they have legitimate jobs. And I'm like, why would you ever listen to us and our idiotocracy? How many times do you walk down the street? And you see a bunch of girls who are cooler than you? I don't know.

They're like, they're fun. I was walking with desks in my sweats. And there were like three girls just dressed to the nine looking gorgeous like kind of people I'm like, oh, I wish I was friends with them and they walk by and they go we love giggly squad And I'm just like does I'm telling you the coolest girls in the city I'm giggly squad and they always are beautiful They really are like sometimes I see their outfits and I'm like, where did you get that? No, like they'll take like our, like,

our like allegedly outfit and make it like cool. Like they're just cooler than us. And yeah, they are. From these live shows, we realize they have much better tastes than men than we do. I actually would like to listen to their podcast. They respect themselves. They feed.

I'm like, I'm like, wait a second. Oh my God. Okay. Also speaking of TikTok, gig, gig, gig, Glee Squad has just launched our first TikTok. Follow us. Giggly Squad on TikTok. Also follow page to Sorbo being Burns. But I saw something on TikTok that I stopped stop obsessing about. I'm sorry. I'm obsessing on. Do you want to go put something on it right now? No, but like, you know, when you like feel it coming, it's like one under the skin, it's like one of those sister ones. Yeah.

And I only get these when I'm really fucking stressed. Yeah, it's gonna hang for like three weeks. She's gonna be your new best friend. Oh my God. So on TikTok, a girl posts a video being like, I'm in the hospital, I was feeling pain, and then I cut to a baby popped out. Have you heard of this thing called cryptic pregnancies?

What the fuck? No, but I keep getting a random pain in my stomach, and I'm like, is it fake baby in here? Or like, did I just eat too much cheese again? When I say everyone is shaking, people are shaking, because there's a thing called cryptic pregnancy

where it doesn't show. Like she showed all her months and she said she was like bleeding too, like she had her period. And then you just have a baby one day. Could you imagine? Yeah. Could you imagine the mind fuck

that would in see, I would go into shock and like adorable healthy baby I'd be like I thought I had to fart and now I have a full many human Could you imagine like after the initial shock of like okay? I just had a baby But then you have to go home and you're like, cool, I have nothing for you. Here. Like, do you want a beer? Can you tell me? You're like, hold on, I have to read one baby book, one sec.

Oh my God, I would freak out. I would immediately give it to my mom. I would be like, help. I didn't know this was happening. Oh my God, my mom is like, retired and so ready to take care of my future on her baby. She's so ready. Oh yeah. I feel like my mom is saying something to her. I'm glad one of us is. Yeah. Right? Oh, joke what does and does is like, you're a baby. You're a baby. My mom is amazing. Like my mom, you don't understand the level of parenting.

Have you seen that Tiktok where it's the mom being like, you have to listen to me when I tell you something and the girl's like, but I'm a baby. I think I'm just a baby. And so I keep saying that to cry. But I'm a baby. I'm like, but I'm a baby. I don't know, I'm a baby.

Yeah, people, I made a TikTok about health insurance where you know, when you turn 26, suddenly they're like, you need a deductible and a premium and you're like, but I'm a baby! No, I still don't really understand how that works. Well, I'm gonna say something, that's gonna ruin your day. My insurance company, I went back, I had to go back on my own insurance, Oscar, shout out,

because I lost the job that was giving me one. Right, right, right. Fun. And then I was just put me on the old one. They were like, got you. And then I was checking my bills, and I realized that I was getting charged $600 a month for health insurance, when before it was only $150.

So my care and came out, and I was like, I'm about to talk to a manager and get this fixed real quick. And I was super cocky about it. I was like $150. So my Karen came out and I was like, I'm about to talk to a manager and get this fixed real quick. And I was like super cocky about it. I was like, hello. You like call and you just press 0, 0, 0 and you're like, talk to a representative, please. I need a human. I'm not talking to no robot about this.

No. So I basically was like, there's been a misunderstanding and it's okay. It's okay. We're going to figure it out right now. I've been overcharged the last three months. And the guys like, oh, we're so sorry about that. Let me look into this and he goes, once you're birthday.

And I was like, August 12th, 1991. And he's like, yeah, when you turn 30, it goes up. And I was like, 500 dollars. And he was like, why are you more likely to die? That's like how they do it. Like once you turn 30, it's like you're in a different section. And I'm sitting there and it was so awkward

because he's like, you're 30 and I was like, and he was like, yep, and then we just had to say I'm full for a second. And I was like, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go just cry myself to sleep, thank you sir.

Do you ever get on the phone with like a representative from somewhere and like kind of fall in love with them? Literally every day. Well, I feel like you either hate them. Like you either like we're enemies. Like we are sworn enemies and we are not vibing. You hate me. I hate you. Let's just get this conversation over or you're like, this is how I found my soul mate. let's just get this conversation over. Or you're like, this is how I found my soulmate. Yeah, I'm like, okay, because it's the one time, oh, this is a tip. On the back of your insurance card, you can call their online,

like pretty much every insurance has it now. They're like online portal of like doctors. So like, so the one night it was like 11, and I'm pretty sure it's like open 24 hours. Did you? I was like 11. I was like 11. I was like 11.

I was like 11. I was like 11. I was like 11. I was like, I'm getting a UTI, and like I can't wait until the morning to like go to city MD and like get a prescription. And so my mom was like, just call the back of your insurance. I bet they'll just send in a prescription.

So I call this man and he's like, hey, I back of your insurance. I bet they'll just send in a prescription. So I call this man and he's like, hey, I just wanna let you know you can call me anytime and I will send through this prescription because clearly you just get avid UTIs. You know what it feels like. You know how you're feeling and I was like, you're right, I do know how I'm feeling.

I'm like, and I would tell you as a man, how your uterus feels. And he was like, and I would never make you go and stand in line at a, what is it? Like an urgent care. You call me, I will send this prescription immediately and it'll get there. And it was literally, I got the text that CVS was like,

we're working on your prescription. Like as I was on the phone with him and he was like, I got you page. And I was like, are you single? What's going on here? This is a new show of like, love is blind with customer service representatives. You just call different customer service

and you're like, so. And you ever have those times where they're like, what do you do? And I'm like, I have this podcast. My friend, they're like, I'm gonna check that out. You're so exposed. People go, what do you do? Because the second you say it, then they know everything about you.

They're like, why did season two you say that to that person? I'm like, what's going on? Look into it. It's fine. We're fine. Yeah, that is so fucking funny. I recently... Yeah, also you can tell when they're like a young guy.

Yeah, you can. And they're like... And they're port when like there's one other young guy and you're like, okay, the sexual tensions through the room. You're like, we would have sex probably. Actually, we're fine every 29. Do you ever read with fine every 29? I used to read it all the time and then not going to lie, I forgot the existed. I thought you were going to say, I forgot how to read it all the time and then not gonna lie. I forgot the existed. I thought you were gonna say I forgot how to read, but they hit me up about the 2022 style trends and I was like, okay, I need to run it all by page. So they're saying, this is what they think is gonna be.

Okay, first off, face masks. What? Oh yeah. Palenciaga has like this leather face mask that came Kardashian war and they think that people are gonna start wearing face masks in the winter and like the Bala Klavas are in. I mean have we not been wearing face masks for three years? True, no true true true. I mean, like the, not face masks, like the full like ski masks. Yes, yes. I don't know.

I don't know. Because I don't know about that one. Or insert all these, you don't know. OK, astronaut couture, like everyone's loving the moon boots and shit. OK, I could see that. Like I, except whenever, literally, this jacket right here, whenever I wear something metallic, Craig just immediately is like, oh, you look like a microwave.

And think of something else, think of something better. I hate to say this, but I feel like if Craig doesn't like it, it's probably good fashion. Absolutely. 100% spot on. But if your boyfriend is like, why are you wearing that? It means the girls are gonna love it The other day I was like he was like you know what I love when girls wear and I was like what and he literally said like hip huggers What's the fuck is a hip hugger like a low-rise jean no? No, no, no, no, no hug never came out of like

like a low-rise gene. No, no, no, no, no, no, honey. Crag never came out of like 2005. I was like, I am almost 30. If you think I'm wearing a low-rise gene, you're out of your damn mind. You have no flexibility to blow even slightly or like your stomach goes over it. You can't even sit.

Do you like a monkey? You can't sit down. No, you can't sit. Thank you. I'm like, we're just gonna revert women back to like the 1800s where we just can't sit. Thank you. I'm like, we're just gonna revert women back to the 1800s where we just can't sit. No, tired or legs are gonna be. How are we gonna take over the patriarchy

when we've been standing all day and we're exhausted? I was like, get out of my face. You wear flip-flops and jeans. They're, leave me alone. They're saying branding is back. So, you know, like Gucci, Fendi, and Skins. Oh, like wearing like a bunch of brands. And it's just like the having a shirt that has like a Balenciaga all over it type of thing. You can get that in Chinatown, guys. Tell me

your dad's a lawyer without telling me your dad's a lawyer. Yeah. We do like a giggly squad like field trip to just get all fake designer clothes. I've been like, I love that. I just got a fake product and they're like, you're not supposed to tell people that it's fake and I was like, no, but I want to normalize it. Let's normalize cutting down the fashion industry. No, I got a guy to shut up. He was like, I would never wear something fake. And I was like, okay, so I could pay $3,000 for a product bag.

Or I could pay $60 and invest the rest of the money. Because that was finance, bro. Terminology. Yeah. And he was like, you were like, in cryptocurrency. In cryptocurrency and my, my bit chain. Okay. This is now a finance pod. Okay. Apparently watches

are back, which honestly apparently apparently. Okay, I said that to my mom. Apparently, and she goes apparently, and I was like, you're a real OG. I've literally been noticing now. Every time says, every time Greg says apparently in the sentence because it's like word vomit I can't not say apparently Look this the thing. I don't know watches like we have the time. I guess if you like that aesthetic I just I don't know I feel like an old man when I wear a watch I've actually never been like a bracelet person. I can't I can't know, I feel like an old man when I wear a watch. I've actually never been like a bracelet person. I can't, I can't keep them on. Cause I'm like, okay, get off my body.

Yeah, unless it's a hair tie, I don't really care to have anything around my, my dingy little wrists. I like to show my curves. I have a problem with this next one. It's called when it's named triple threat, because there's like all these mini bags and stuff. They're now saying that you should wear two to three bags.

That is the most serious part. See you out of energy I've ever heard. See you in small claims court. I can't remember one bag. How am I supposed to know where my keys are when you're drunk and I have three bags on me? They're literally setting us up for a drunk failure Like you think that we these bitches out here are gonna remember three bags at the bar

Remember college when you'd end the night and you're like, I don't know how I did this But somehow I've managed to lose my phone my wallet and my Different or like the nights you wake up and it's like laying on the floor And you feel like the most accomplished person in the world. Like you just solved world hunger. Yeah, when you wake up and you're while it's next to you and you're like, and you're like, come at me, God. I'm the backbone of this family.

Like should I play the lotto? Cause shit is in my favor. Also bigger bags are going to be really in for the fall. Like oversized bags are coming back in. At what say your mini bags, you're gonna be retiring. Oh, maybe that's why mini bags are trying to hold on. They're like, have a big bag and a mini bag. But this the ball with mini bags.

Besides my keys, my phone is just hanging out of it. And it just falls out all the time. So I would just realize I'm getting like a massive pimple right on the side of my nose. Oh shoot, are you gonna put something on it? Yeah, literally right when we get off this pot, I'm gonna have to do a deep cleansing. Okay, this is wild. They're saying scammer style is in. What does it mean?

And they were often told to dress for the job we want. Some people take a more seriously than others. For Make Believe Socialite, Anidelevi, and Elizabeth Holmes, their uniforms were much of their, are they telling us to dress like scammers? I don't really get what that means. Like big sunglasses. I guess like black turtlenecks and thick sunglasses.

Okay, I dress like a spy every day, so. Okay, then they say main character gloves. I don't think I would do it, but you know how the long gloves are in. I think for my wedding, I might wear gloves. It's because, yeah. I would love if you did a glove moment at your wedding. I think I'm gonna do a glove moment for my wedding

because it'll be on the beach and kind of windy so it's like instead of wearing a sleeve, I have a glove with a long glove. I love that, I love that. I'm just worried that the fingers are not gonna fit my little nubs. But that's ridiculous. That's neither here nor there.

Oh, they're saying select beauty entrepreneur is actually being legit. Like Hall's the Lady Gaga. This is my question because someone was like, can celebrity stop doing skincare? Because no one believes you're actually using that product and like, can you leave it to people who actually, I don't know. What's your opinion on it? I think that it sells because these celebrities are the face of it, but I don't believe that Halsey's in the lab mixing up some things, but I'm sure there's actual doctors and dermatologists doing it.

They're just using her face to sell it, which I'm here for. Halsey's line is cool branding and like the stuff is potent. And I will say Selena Gomez's makeup line, I actually fuck with heavy. Like her lipsticks are amazing. Yeah. Okay, men having manicures is going to be in like machine on Kelly, Harry Styles. Okay. Tyler, they're creating. And then having manicures is going to be in, like, machine uncally, hairy styles. Okay.

Tyler, they're crazy. I used to be very against this, and I was like, I'm not dating a guy that paints their nails. Craig Payne is in all of his nails the other day. What color? His favorite color, turquoise. Tyler. Oh.

The fact he has a favorite color is so adorable. Enjoy yourself. The other day, he actually got mad at me the other day, because he was like, do you even know my favorite color is so adorable. And boy, he actually got mad at me the other day because he was like, do you even know my favorite color? And I just went with the generic boy. I was like, duh, blue. And he was like, what shade page? What hue, okay? So did you think he was hot when he was wearing his clothes?

I actually really liked it. And I was like, this is so not me. I'm not trying to project when I feel like guys who have nail polish on are freaky and bed. Yes. I agree. I literally agree. When you see guys fucking with their nail polish, you're like, he thinks outside the box,

you know? Yes, he does not color in the lines. He does look color in the other crayons. Okay, diamonds on teeth. I love it. I wanted to do it the other day and everyone was like, no page, you're going to be 30. You can't put diamonds on your teeth. And I was like, I'm gonna. Quarney Crane actually does.

I think I'm going to do it for your Bachelorette. Wait, we all have to do it for your bachelorette. Ah! Wait, we all have to do it for the bachelorette. Yeah, because you can buy these kits that, like, they just send you, like, this LED light, so you, like, put the glue on, you put it on your tooth, and then you put, like, the LED light on it to, like, glue it. And only it lasts for, like, a couple days, so, like, perfect. When we're getting our liquid IV, like,, like our transfusion, we'll do it. We're gathering our mouths.

So happy you brought up my match thread. I've been waiting for four episodes. Let's decide what are the styles for the two days. Because going out, I feel like it's fun to have a little theme, but you know me. I don't like a two aggressive theme. I'm liking feathers and I'm liking disco cowboy. I think the disco cowboy should be for the boat day. But this is my question. If we're on the boat

doing disco cowboy and then we go to dinner, how does that work? Do you just roll in like disco cowgirl from the boat? Yeah, I think we just throw. Or do we tell people to make a change of clothes for the club? I think we just say bring a change of clothes. Like you throw on like a denim short your cowgirl hat and something like metallic.

I guess I have to factor in like, we're gonna be too drunk to care. I plan on not remembering the whole weekend. Like I plan on waking up on Sunday and being like, did we do it? Yeah. Well, Monday's a holiday and my friend was like, why don't you go into Monday and I'm like,

cause I can't, cause I'm a little... What is the holiday? I get Easter. Easter Sunday. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my god, my mom is gonna be so mad I'm missing Easter but like, No, but you'll be back in time

We're like going back on Sunday You think I'm getting on a plane Sunday morning and taking it all the way to Albany God here I'm not even gonna know my name Jesus is gonna be pissed you have to like connect flights Going from Miami to to Albany. So like, I don't have the time or the patience. No.

After that weekend, no. I'm going right to New York City and hiding for a week. People, I'm very excited for this weekend, but I do just want to make sure that I run the fashion by you because I don't want to get attacked on Instagram. Did you run this by page? Did you page tell you you could wear this? Because you clearly didn't.

I post a stand-up clip on TikTok. All the comments are about my outfit. It's so funny that you get that because half of my DMs are like, you don't know how to dress. Stop acting like you have style. And I'm like, but Hannah's followers say that I do. So my followers love you. My followers, I have a page stand account.

My followers. OK, but page, can we set the record straight? Do you think I have any sense of style? I'm actually going to tell you a story. OK, this feels like it's going badly already. No. The other day, you posted an outfit on your stand-up and I saw it and I literally said, Cierra, did you see Hannah's story and she was like, no, why?

And I was like, she looks so good. I literally felt like the Devil Wears product. I was like, who put this together for you? Like, did you, who did this? It was like a see through black top, a mesh top. And a trouser. A trouser? Yeah.

I love you and a trouser. I love me and a trouser too. I don't like my ass out all the time. Because also there's trousers though that like fit in the right way in your butt that like it makes your butt look good, but you love comfort.

And trousers are... I can breathe. My vagina lips just can breathe. You can just throw a sneaker on. For fun, I posted a TikTok yesterday being like just two thick girls and I showed like my butt in a bell-bottom gene and then butter just like out looking thick and juicy as she does. And I got ripped apart by I guess like thick, thick talk and they were like,

this girl is not thick, this girl thinks she's thick and I was like, guys, it's a joke, but like, No, you're not allowed to be anything these days. You can't like say that you're thick, you can't say that you're skinny. I'm sick and you he. People think that clothes only look good on me because I'm skinny and then half the other people are like, we see that you've gained 15 pounds.

So you're gonna take care of it. What a toxic environment. Side note, the New York City is very small and I've been doing standup at this place, the stand that you need to start hanging out with. I know. Because this whole weekend, Dave, Chappelle, Chris, Raul, and Aziz Ansari have been doing sex. I've been getting love Aziz Ansari.

He needs to come out with another special. A new special. He just came out with one. He did, one. It's like about quarantine stuff. Oh, but maybe I did see that one. I'm sick of that storyline now. Yeah, true. But I I would do my sets until like 10 and then Chappelle comes and they like have this whole party until like fucking

5 a.m. and you know I'm not like trying to do that. So I was like okay I'm gonna tell Peter. You're like my insurance just wanna I'm out I could possibly die. I can't do this shit. I am an old bitch and that's what he told me on the phone in so many words. It's like six hundred dollars a month. I'm going to bed. So Pete Davidson was there last week. This week, Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz showed up to the after party. Oh my god. Did you see them? No, everyone just told me. But I want to know from you. Yeah. I Forgot one of my celebrity crushes is also Robert Pattinson. It is He has a good personality

I know he's like Like he's like how do you oh? How do you know that he's British funny like I've do you, oh, how do you know that? He's like, he's British funny. Like I've watched, you've watched interviews. I've watched interviews. He's British and like, whatever. I was, I'm into him. Okay. And then I'm watching Zoe Kravitz doing a promo for Batman

and it's very intimate and sexy. It's giving me Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper vibes. I'm like, it's giving, it's giving. I'm not jealous person. I was jealous for Channing Tatum. Yes. Does she not have the most perfect face? Yeah. It's actually it's rude. It's like, okay, so God clearly has favorites. And he like, he let it be known. You know, like, he didn't even try and hide it. When it comes to celebrity, I don't think it's all God. Like, it's her face. Perfect.

No, but I feel like I feel like she came out like that. I did see a post of a before and after, but I digress. Oh, okay, okay, okay. We digress. We don't have to. I'm just trying to. You know Hannah and her aunts, you know Hannah and her plastic surgery, right? You're not ugly, you're not ugly, you're just poor, and I mean it. I mean when I say it, and I'm not saying she was ugly ever, but I'm saying, she would make him fox it. We're like, she's gorgeous, and then like now you're like super gorgeous.

Okay, that makes me feel better. That's a great comparison. Yeah, she made him fox it. Okay. No one was saying you were ugly and then got plastic surgery. We're saying you're gorgeous. And then you were like, it wasn't enough

and you had to be like, I'm the most gorgeous person in the world. And whatever you need to do. Megan Fox didn't have to do that to us. No, but it also is like, I'm not gonna get into it. I'm not gonna get into it. I don't have time. I don't have time.

I don't have time for this. Yeah. Also apparently, I don't apparently. Apparently? Apparently. Zoe Kravitz said she was drinking milk like a cat to prepare for her role as cat. But I might have pulled that from a bad source.

Hannah Burner. Hannah Burner. That's a legend. Let me go go that. I feel like you were like and I should be an actress I think. Okay. Pure wow, uprox and Esquire said Zoe Kravitz drink milk like a cat to prepare for Batman. I'm just, I look. I method acting, you know? Method acting. I feel like they're just pulling this on us, cause they're pulling our leg.

But also, have you ever drank like a cat? That's just kind of fun. I actually was at Starbucks literally yesterday and they were like out of oat milk and she was like, but I've got coconut milk. I've got soy milk, I've got almond milk. Like I was waiting for her to be like, I've got pickle milk. Like she just had all the milk.

And I was like, here's something crazy. I might just get cow milk and she was just like, okay, okay. Like she hasn't seen it. I don't know, it's like retro. You're like, okay vibes. Vibes. Okay, I love this vibe.

Like, okay, do it. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. Because I like, I'm always like, okay, vibes. Vibes. Okay, I love this vibe. Like, okay, do it. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. Because I, like, I'm always like, oh my god, no, I must have oat milk. When I really just ate a pound of Parmesan cheese, I'm like, what am I counteracting? That's the TikTok where it goes. People try to understand me, but they never will.

Yeah. No, literally, like it makes zero sense. If you try to understand me, you'll be exhausted. I actually feel like hot girls all have IBS, right? But we like cope with it. We're a guest today after my set. I ordered a full pizza for myself. And I realized it was super selfish of me,

and there were all these comics around me. And I was like, does anyone want pizza? And one of the guys goes, oh sorry, I think I'm lactose intolerant. And I looked at him and he looked at me. Okay. And I was like, oh, and he just, okay, me, he's like,

I don't think I do well with dairy. I go, let me, this pizza is gonna be in the toilet in 15 minutes going right through me. And I was just like, you need to grow the fuck up. So it was like, I take care of my body and you were like, loser. And then he was watching me just like devour this pizza and I was like, I don't feel comfortable in this space.

You were like, don't you have health insurance? I was like, I'm having $600. So if my asshole breaks after this, I'm covered. I went to a doctor, this was like, I mean, two years ago at this point. And I was like, I can't wake up in the morning. What's a doctor once, two years? I was like, I can't wake up in the morning.

And when I wake up, I feel like I just did arms the day before. Like, my arms are so sore and like, I'm so tired. And I was like, and it doesn't matter what time I go to sleep. Like, I sleep great at night. And I just like, in the morning, I'm so tired and I was like, and it doesn't matter what time I go to sleep. Like, I sleep great at night and I just like, in the morning, I'm so tired. And he was like, did all these tests and whatever. And he was like, you're not gluten intolerant and you're not lactose intolerant,

but you are right there. Like, they wouldn't classify you as that, but you're right there. And he was like, so when you eat, he was like, the worst thing you could ever eat is pizza And I looked at him like like he had just told me That your dog died. Yeah, that like mind. I don't really care about your dog So I was like so offended and he was like see you when you want to eat those things you have to prepare

To have a day of rest the next day He was like so I recommend like eating it on like a Saturday night when you know you can like hang out on a Sunday We love that so much. I'm gonna start telling that to Des when he's like Why are you on the coach don't be like it's my day of rest? I was like sir. I eat this shit every single day. And he was like, you need to cut back on it. And I was like, you'll be hearing from my lawyer. Good bye.

Like, you're already putting your stuff back into here. Where's my fucking wallet and phone and keys? Oh, come here out of here. I have a question. Why does it hurt your arms and stuff, do you think? I don't know. I wake up and I even get, my legs are too bad. My legs feel like I've been running on my back.

Yeah, I think it's anxiety. Your muscles get like fatigued because like, it's like they're working over time because you just put something in your body that like they're not downless. So are we just like Olympic athletes? Because I'm not just doing this so much. I mean, I rather have a cryptic baby

than like, stop eating pizza. pick athletes because I mean I rather have a I rather have a cryptic baby then like stop eating pizza. I pick up to write up. Also Megan Fox, I do Farmajans out. Megan Fox got a with a bangle named whiskey. A bangle kit named whiskey. Oh, cute. So like I don't know what happened.

You have connected to her. I've been investing four years of my social media content into trying to Make cat cool make cats cool and get rid of the crazy cat lady stereotype I do have one from page new story Kaya Gerber and Austin Butler have like really been dating do you know who Austin Butler is? Yes, he's the guy who is playing Elvis Yes, he is and he dated Vanessa Hutchins for like years.

Yeah. And then they randomly broke up. Everyone was like so confused by it. But I like him and Kaya together. I think they look aesthetically. I don't mean obviously. I don't know either of them. But aesthetically, I really do enjoy it.

I get Kaya Gerber confused with Olivia Jade. And I hate that I said that out loud, but it happens to me. Well, they look very similar. And they both have famous parents. Very true. But only one of them was in a school. Yeah. And the one that pretended to. One of them went away. That's how you say it in Italian. They're coming back. They're coming back, too. You're into them. Don't worry about it. Don't ask any more questions.

Oh yeah, someone was on TikTok saying, if Selena could get over Justin and Vanessa Huggins could get over Zach Efron, you could get over that fucking squirt you're fucking with. And I'm like, let's stop with that. I hate when people are like, guys will cheat on cheat on Beyonce of course they'll cheat on you and it's like Just stop I agree with that Famous guys are monsters most of the time like they're the worst people today

What I just took from that sentence was I am most definitely gonna start calling more people squirt Get over here squirt start calling more people squirt. Get over here, squirt. Like Craig's new name now is squirt. I'm literally changing it in my phone. Are two favorite nicknames punk and squirt? But yeah, like honestly dating a celebrity is actually like so much worse sometimes than dating a human.

I feel like it's way worse. I mean, what is Josh and HR gonna do to you that is that much worse than Brad Pitt, fucking Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith? You know, I think that what Josh does to you is gonna be fine. Sometimes these women are like, I wish I could date Josh for my jar.

I just don't know where he is. Or how to go in one of these offices. Oh my God, yeah. Sometimes just a nice, normal man. And then they like, they really are impressed by you. Because like, the stuff you're doing is wild. Where like, you're doing another famous guy is like, yeah, I'm doing an arena tour.

Like, good job. You've published a book. I could never date like a Harry Styles. Like, level famous. I mean, I don't think anyone actually enjoys that level of fame. You'd have to be that equal level of fame because you just wouldn't get it. Like I wouldn't get that there were thousands of 13 year old girls yelling for my man. I'd be like, he's an idiot. Have you ever seen him at home?

Well, that's the thing. You're not dating Justin Bieber. You're not's the thing. You're not dating Justin Bieber. You're not dating Harry Styles. You're not dating their personas. You're dating who they are day to day and knowing what they're like. So let's stop fucking judging based on the music video you saw of people. Right. Like he just, he ate a watermelon one time, guys. Get over it. It was hot. It was hot.

Speaking of men, can I do a mental health moment? I have a lot of great notes today. Okay. Someone's blew my fucking mind on TikTok. Okay, I've been spending too much time on TikTok. That's the mental health moment number one. Number two. How if you're obsessing about something, if it's an X, if it's something that's bothering you, it's actually your mind just trying to make sense of trauma. You're not in love with them. Your mind is trying to comprehend trauma. Whoa. Because you know what those like you'll obsess over a guy who rejected you or something or your ex and you're just like, I'm in love with him and it's like no, no, no, no, no.

I'm going to actually, I don't know who needs to hear this, but we only obsess over people that make us feel unsafe. That obsession gives us a false sense of control. And it's all probably a trauma response. That's from at hello, a,m, b, e, r, b. Wait, oh my God, that makes so much sense because any breakup that I've gone through where the guy was actually a really good guy, I didn't even cry. Yeah. And any breakup where the guy was a piece of shit

and I should have never even dated? I'm like, I'm not even buying someone. And that's why the guys, the three weak things that don't make sense, like, sometimes are the most traumatic. Because... So traumatic. It's, and so, when you're obsess things that don't make sense, like sometimes are the most traumatic. So traumatic. And so when you're obsessing, don't make it be like, oh my god, I'm so in love with this guy.

It's like, no, you felt unsafe in that. And you're trying to gain control by trying to relive it all in your brain. And it's like, this is just a trauma response. And you're going to be good girl. You don't want him. Oh my god. I love that.

Wow. I feel like I was. I'm gonna go out and say that was for me. Like if they didn't make you feel safe, they're not your fucking person. I will say though, after 25, I stopped fucking with guys that I ever even thought would potentially cheat on me. Like it's just not a vibe that my body can handle anymore.

Or I would fuck with them, but no, I'd never date them. Like I would never even go there with my brain of me like committing myself to him. When I know he would never commit himself to me. Yeah, like it's just cheating is something that I was just like, once I hit 25, I was like, yep, and I'm not, no, I'm not doing this ever again. Like this is not for me. Once someone wise told me, if someone's gonna cheat on you, that's them.

Yeah. Cause you could be in a relationship and be like, I knew you'd do this, I hope it isn't cheating on me, I hope it doesn't cheat on me. He's gonna cheat on you regardless. And it's probably gonna be with someone gross. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. You know, no one's safe. No one's safe. Anyone. And I know that I give off second wife, energy. And I love that about myself. And I know that Dez has a fake family in Ireland, so like you technically are a mistress. I feel like I'm the new hot young wife and like he tells me about his kids and I'm

like I don't care. And it's like send me the other day. And it's like send me the other day. I was like De does has a second phone for Ireland? And it's like he's not even hiding it at this point and like I, and I've never laughed. So, wait, I have to pull up this text conversation. You texted me, your husband is so nice.

I'm so happy for you guys. And I go, L.A.W. what do he do? And you go ask me to marry him. And I'm like, join the polyamorous cult. And then you said, oh, he sent me a really nice DM. And I go, also love how you refer to him as my husband while he's with his second family in Ireland

right now, makes sense he would be sucking up to you. And you go, I told him to send my love to all four of his children. And I said he has two phones, one for America and one for Ireland. And you go, I told him to send my love to all four of his children. And I said he has two phones, one for America and one for Ireland. I was like, wow, you're not even trying to hide it at this point. And you go, Betty owns pets with this bitch too. And I go, if she's blonde, I'm going to be pissed.

And you go, no, I'd lose it. And then he called me later and I was like, hey. I'm not at a. Oh yes, it's like Irish phone, which at first I was like, oh, businessy cool. And then I was like, most girls when they start dating, like a guy who's kind of famous, makes them change his phone number.

Really? That's what someone did to Jay Cutler. Oh my God, I should make Craig change his number. Because I'm in the mood. I mean, he had her in your life. It's so funny. It's so funny. Sometimes, like, Craig's phone will be on the counter and it'll be going off and he'll

be in the shower. And I never think to look in it, but sometimes I'm like, hmm. I wonder what's going on in there. But you get to a point where you're like You know what if you're having fun? I just go like I'm tired If you want to go you can go I love how you're like I would never let her man cheat on me and you're like honestly if he has multiple relationships with Instagram models

It's like cool. Do whatever you need to get off, but I'm like I'll be napping But this the thing guys who do that shit I feel like a lot of them have some form of like sex addiction where it's like they can't help it's like a real crazy need because The only person like to find the time to do that shit is an addict right Like my boyfriend just wakes me up in the middle of the night and I'm like, you have the most nerve I've ever seen in my life

but like let's get this gone. Tristan Thompson, you don't move around your entire schedule just for like a quick fuck unless it's like a fucking drug. How about Kanye and Tristan out on a double date? Wait, I didn't see that. I think they were in Miami and they wereistan out on a double date? Wait, I didn't see that, that's... I think they were in Miami and they were both out on a double date and Kanye was basically with the Kim lookalike. Which is, is this weird, some weird form of meta art he's doing?

Is this an NFT? What's going on? I mean, I would just love to know the conversation that was being had between the two of them. Did you try the Pesto? I also saw this thing where like at Starbucks, they had a tip jar and one tip jar said Kanye West and one tip jar said Pete Davidson. Dude, dude.

But I feel like with Pete and Cam, like his craze, the craziness of Kanye is either gonna break them or like get them so close. But I feel like Pete, he's very, he's taking it all like with sense of humor. Yeah, he's doing it all the right way. Absolutely. This reminds me I did finish the Kanye doc.

Oh, you did. The last episode's pretty chaotic and it starts to show his unraveling. How many episodes is it? It's three. Okay. And also, you guys, we're not like, when we talk about it, I'm talking about it based on a journalistic perspective. Oh absolutely.

Anything Kanye does. Oh of course, we're high class journalists here. Right, I'm a journalist. Also, did you see Pam Anderson, the gigaers were sending us to Maine? Did we not call it? Did we not call it? We did.

We did. I mean, we manifested this for her. I need this for her. She needs redemption. Cause we want to hear your story cause your story's fucking amazing. And I'm interested to see how it's different from. I want her to stop bringing back thin eyebrows, I digress we digress yeah we're not gonna put all the blame on her but I just

finished love is blind was it good this season was out of the world epic really so good the reunion union, ooh, ooh, ooh, Nick Lache and Vanessa, they do act a little bit like cast members though because like Vanessa is like basically like fuck you. I mean, you also feel like they show themselves in the very beginning and then I'm like why are these people even on it? But then I was seeing online people being like bring back more Vanessa and Nick. Well, they created it, I think It was like their idea. Oh, they created it, I think. Well, they created it, I think. It was like their idea.

Oh my god. Also, I watched The Neighbor Next Door, which is incredible. It's about like different neighbors that try to ruin your life. There was like an old grandma who was a con man slash serial killer. It's so fucking good. Um, guys, we love you so much. Thank you for giggling with us. You are the bestest. Follow us on TikTok.

We're going to be announcing new shows, possibly New York soon. And we love you. Bye. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT