Giggly Squad - Giggling about autosexuality, hating fashion week, and flesh eaters

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

Hannah is in Texas and Paige explains outfit anxiety and they both stan Zoe Kravitz. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up guys, it's time to hit the juice bar. That was wild. Wild. That's so known I thought you were going to say. You'll never know what kind of antics we're gonna be up to. No, I honestly never know what's gonna come out of your mind. Yeah, do I? That's...

Sometimes you're like a little kid and like you just wanna be loved and you just wanna like have fun and everyone get along and then other times you're like, I will, I'll kill you. What, what about it? I'll kill you, like, I just never know. I just like keeping people in their toes. Mission accomplished. Yeah, I'm in Texas. Like, they just never know. I just like keeping people on their toes. Mission accomplished. Yeah, I'm in Texas right now,

which I think is a surprise a lot of people. Texas accents are fucking sexy. Are they? Have you seen any like cowboys? Oh my God, yes. I saw real cowboys. I thought they were being like ironic hipsters. They weren't.

I was doing like crowd work during my standup show. And I asked the guy a question. He was like, yeah, I went to this college. And I was doing like crowd work during my standup show and I asked a guy a question. He was like, yeah, I went to this college and I was like, oh shit. I was like, is that real? And then I was like, that's hot. And then I was like, do you guys think New York accents are hot? I was like, do you think like, oh, come get some coffee at the store with me. You think that's hot? And this gay guy in the front was like, ill ever get away from me. He was like, stop it, that's disgusting. I always wonder what people think about the way we say certain words.

Like there are things that I've had people be like, that's, you say that, like such an upstate New York person and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I was like, can you guys tell the difference between Texas accents? Like can you tell the difference between like, a random person and like, oil money?

And they were like, hell yeah. It's crazy that there's other dialects to being like having an accent. Like, okay, you know when Sierra, like if Sierra ever hangs out with people that are from the South, just for like 10 minutes, then all of a sudden her accent comes back and I love listening to her. And you could like barely understand it sometimes it's like can you open your

mouth because that was just one word that was just one long draw. Yeah. I think seven people are hilarious. Yeah I honestly we love a southern man but then I was like am am I in the South? Like I'm in Texas, is that the South? You gotta ask a question, right? You gotta ask a question! I went in the green room and I was like, do you guys have sweet tea and they were like, no, and I'm like, oh fuck, I'm not in like South Carolina. But then we do have sweet tea, we just don't have it here. Wait, is Texas the South?

Yeah. So, I'm with, okay, so Chloe LeBrange is my feature for this weekend. Chloe is Texas the South? She said yeah. Because of oil. Because of oil. I'm Googling it, is Texas the South? Because I never heard like, is it called middle? Yeah, I never heard like is it called middle yeah what what post is it on Texas just text Chloe said Texas of

the zone country Texas is not southern or western Texas is Texas yeah okay so we're not that stupid. Cause the Midwest, the Midwest is just North. Yeah, they say Texas, you need your own passport. It's Texas, the South, or Midwest. According to the Census Bureau, South consists of Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, Texas, and Oklahoma.

Washington, D.C. is also included in the South. You guys, you didn't know you were gonna get a geography lesson today, but you are. Also, West Virginia has main character energy. West Virginia was like, okay, Virginia, you're cute, but like, I'm my own baby. We're West Virginia. Thank you. I'm an independent fucking woman Which that is so fun Because other states it's like North Carolina and South Carolina, but this one's like Virginia and then just West Virginia

I think I mean, maybe it's because we're on bias, but I think New York is the baddest of all like they're New York Just gonna get like a true New Yorker. Yeah Like a true New York Hick I Convince Chloe to get her nails did I Told her that I would we should get tips and then right before I got nervous and said I'm not doing it Just you get tips now her nails look good, mind look like nubs, and I just have to live with being lame.

I do want to applaud you though on your full transformation. Do you remember the days when you never wore nail polish? Yeah, I was scared. I thought it was a waste of time. I was like, I could never do that shit. And now you're like, I can't, I have to go get my nails done. And I've never been more proud. I'm a nail missionary. I literally peer, I have to go get my nails done. And I've never been more proud. I'm a nail missionary.

I just, I literally peer pressured this poor girl to get her nails done. She's never gotten tips before. Now she's a whole new attitude. We're about to get in a fight, because I don't even know what she's going to do with nails. It changes your whole personality. As I've changed women, I do have to say,

I realize now that events are opening up that I have to put outfits together again. And people don't talk enough about the anxiety that comes with planning an outfit. Do you get outfit excited? And I've been through a whole career around it. No, I said the other day. Okay, so before I do Amazon Live, I, like, we sign on to, like, a phone call and make sure everything's like ready and like whatever and my team at Amazon is

Amazing like my producer is great. She's the cutest human ever but like If anyone saw me that 30 minutes before I go live It's literally like a psychotic person. I'm like I fucking hate these clothes. I fucking hate putting outfits together. I can't do this anymore. I can't think of anything else. And then it's like in five four. And I'm like oh my god, I'm so excited. We're gonna have the best time. It's just effortly chic page. What's up? What people don't know about you also is that you still FaceTime your mom about outfits and I think that's an important detail for people to know. I called her today and I gave her two specific situations that I need outfits for and I

said they're not going to pick themselves honey. You're retired. Get on that iPad and you start looking. My mom's just always like I wish you'd show your body more instead of wearing those baggy t-shirts. She also wants me to brush my hair more. It's funny, there's still things that our moms don't like that we're like, oh yeah, but my mom hates when I do this.

Like every time I put a baseball hat on, I'm like, oh, good. I think it stems from when I was little, and you know when your mom would brush your hair, I would cry, bloody murder the whole time because it was so painful. Were you faking it? Sometimes. I'm sorry, can you make my emotions valid for a second?

Can you not get me in? But I know you, I know you, and I know what a dramatic as bitch you are. I definitely didn't want to do it and like one little bit. Right, I was like, I can picture sweet, sweet, linoar. Sweet, four foot nine linoar. Just brushing her daughter's tiny. Put her in my pocket, tiny. Just brushing her belly girl.

And you falling to the ground, rolling around. Like, I can't. No, I can't. Can you stop reading my ass right now? Because apparently when I was out of the home, they put a little beanie on my head. And as an infant, literally three minutes old, I took my fingers, got them stuck in the beanie, and had a full freak out, because I didn't want to wear a hat.

So that's where we're at. So when it comes to outfit anxiety, not only do you get anxiety of externally, like, is this cool? Like, do people think this is in? Secondly, like, is this my style? Like, is this me? And then third of all, is, like, do you feel comfortable with your body to pull off certain

things? And it's like, just a fucking lot. It's a lot. And, like, you of all people know that, like, if't like my outfit. Yeah, I'm not going and if I go I'm gonna be a miserable time for everyone. Yeah, and I can't snap out of it I will and I have I'm like contact. Oh Jesus. Oh God. Okay. You did. I don't know what's wrong with Paige She's she hates her shoes. She knows she should have changed them. I mean I have gone out before Got in some place looked at my girlfriends and said I'm going home to change and I'll be back.

Yeah, because you wanted to vibe with their outfits. Where I just knew you weren't serving the best look. Yeah, I wasn't serving the best look for me. I could have picked something better. I don't know why I went with this. It's it's a lot But one of my favorite moments like that I feel ever in my life is when I'm really stressed about an outfit And then I go to said event or situation and I walk in I look out everyone else and I'm like Why was I even worried? I crushed it. It's so funny because you really do have your own competitive.

I guess the fashion world has its own competitive thing happening that I realize I haven't signed up for. The fashion week is around the corner. It is. And which is so interesting, it's my least favorite week. I fucking hate fashion week. Oh my God, explain. It's a lot of like, oh my God, did you get invited to that? Like, are you going to that? And what time are you going to that? And like, did you take a picture?

And do you have like a, like, do you have an outfit for that? And like, can you get in there? And where are you going to dinner? It's just like, shut up. Yeah. Yeah, it's hectic, it's scary. The people are scary. A lot of pressure.

It's the worst week in New York. You can't get a dinner reservation, you can't even really go out anywhere, it's hard to get in anywhere, but it does coincide with the US Open. Which we love. Which we love. Are you a fan of going to a fashion show in general? Okay, so I haven't, I've been to fashion shows before where like you sit in and like watch it.

I've never been invited to sit like front row anywhere because by the time like I would be invited to something like that, like COVID hit. And before that, nobody really, like, I don't think, certain brands and whatever, yeah, no one likes me. No, that's basically what it is. Like, I wasn't good enough to like get a front row seat at like a super cool show. And I'm not the like small talk cocktail party type girl. So like, if I'm invited to a cocktail party

for Fashion Week, yeah, maybe it's cool, but like I'm probably not going. True, true. It's a type of person that can handle New York City events. And to people who just look at it online, it looks fun. It looks fun, it's not. It's not. It's not.

Tell you, it's not. If you can find one or two people that are you can bond with by going up to and being like this sucks, right? That only. That's had a good night. The only thing I will say is that you know when you're like out in the wild and you're trying to get an Instagram pick and you're looking at everyone that's watching you and you're like, oh, this is so embarrassing. Fashion week, everyone is doing the same thing.

So like there's no one's embarrassed. And you like wait for girls to leave their spot, because you're wait, I also want that backdrop. Take your picture, take your time, and that is my turn. And it's kind of like- If you respect you, give me respect. Yeah, it's like this silent sisterhood that I really enjoy.

It's basically Alabama sorority recruitment, but for stuck up New Yorkers. Yeah. It is. New Yorkers. Yeah, it is. New York is a sorority. Today I did this thing. What did you do? And I don't know if it was a psychological epiphany

or if I'm about to enter a deep dark depression. It could go either way. Either way. So today I was just having a lot of crazy anxiety and about nothing. Like I didn't really know what I was anxious about, but my chest hurt. Like I was just deep breathing.

Like it just was like, oh, this is like the worst. I literally made up a conspiracy theory in my head about my own self. Hannah, Hannah? Then I cried about it. And then I felt better. What was the conspiracy? That is that is.

That I can't tell. I have to do a tax evasion. I know. But it was just, as I'm crying, did you steal someone's identity? I'm crying. I'm like this isn't real Like what are you doing? But I felt way better and I felt like it was just like I had to get emotions out Did you realize that we all live in a simulation? Yeah, I kind of basically I was like this is all fake

I mean it is interesting. I I went to a certain event and I was in the elevator with someone. And they were kind of not acknowledging me, not being nice. Like we were kind of talking to the elevator and she was kind of ignoring me. And then she was kind of being a bitch. And then later on she heard who my name was. And I guess she like listens to my podcast and suddenly was like so nice and that's when I realized like the world is just weird. This bitch didn't recognize you from and she listens to your podcast.

Yeah but I guess like she's she's kind of like an industry person. Got it. She's got it. My podcast and she's listened before. But it's just so funny how, if you live your life based on how other people react to you and how other people think about you, this TikTok blew my fucking mind. That was where I learned everything, but they basically were like,

you are a different character in everyone's book. Every single person sees you through their own lens of their life experience. Like, you are literally a different person to everyone including yourself. Right. Like, how many people think about us and we're just like the biggest villain? I mean, but everyone has their own story and their own narrative stuff. And if you try to control it, you will be crazy. So my current thing is instead of fighting stuff or trying to explain and be like, I'm a misunderstood queen instead of being like, no, it just matters that you understand yourself.

Because if I live my life, like whether someone knows me or doesn't know me at a party, like you'll always be miserable. And it goes back to fashion week. Like, everything does. I really know it's back to fashion week. But it's also surrounding yourself with people who definitely like, even though they might see, it's not even like villain or not villain.

It's like, like the page I know is different than a lot of your other friends might know you, because they haven't seen you going through the stuff that we've gone through together. So I might see you as way more vulnerable and they might see you as way like harder or like. Yeah. Wow, that is so true. And none of it is right. No. Like none of it is really who you even are. Yeah. Yeah. But then it's like, what are you? Who are you? Pete's me. Fucking no. I literally just trying to make it one day at a time.

So that was helpful. We're having like a deep mental health pod today. Yeah, we are. What did you write about handwriting? So I First I was I don't know if people saw this on my Instagram, but the fashion foundation Started we started selling these like fashion boxes like these curated like cute little boxes And people were buying them and so like the first 100 people that purchased them I was writing like handwritten thank you notes to them I realized whatever you think about my handwriting, it's the opposite. It is. I forgot how to write. I literally

was like if I saw this handwriting, I'd be like, get this fourth grader out of here, why are they writing notes? And I think your handwriting, I'd be like, get this fourth grader out of here. Why are they writing notes? And I think your handwriting actually explains who you are as a person. Yeah, like you can't fake it. Right. Eve, or you can fake it like the beginning of class, but by the end of class, it's your back to know more.

It's who you are. Do you ever try to change your identity beginning of class in your notes, being like, I'm a distinguished organized bitch today. So it's funny because Des saw my handwriting for the first time a couple of weeks ago. It happens when you have a shotgun engagement. You really just keep learning about each other every day. He was like, wait, that's your handwriting. And for a second, I was like, wait, I lost him.

Like, you're telling me, he was looking at me completely differently. He was like, away I lost him. Yeah, like you were telling me, was looking at me completely differently. He was like, that's how you write. And then he just started laughing. And I was like, I was rushing. Like I wasn't, I was trying to make excuse. I go so fast, so fast. And it's so big and so all over the place. But have you ever seen your grandma write?

Yes. The script. It's too much a Catholic school denture. It's it's just okay Well both of my grammars are dead so thanks for bringing it up again But no like even my mom's handwriting is phenomenal and I just don't know with these like to fucking these dainty philangies I can't pull out like a nice thank you. Mine?

Mine nubs, you know what to expect. Yours, you should be like- Off brand. Yeah. Off brand, you should be cruel. You should be cruel. I really should. I should, oh my god.

I should have created a font. People are gonna go on Instagram and be like, I bought this to get a note from page and clearly of seven year old intern wrote it and I want my money back. I wrote all of them. I wrote all of them and I thought about it the entire time. I think there's actually a psychic that can like look at your signature, your handwriting, and tell you about yourself. I might have made that up. There's literally a psychic for everything. There's a psychic about things. Speaking of psychics, I am getting a psychic reading

next Wednesday at 8 p.m. This woman came highly recommended and she, I've watched her do readings. She's like done them online or whatever and I'm doing one next Wednesday. She was like, do you wanna do it public? Like, do you wanna do it on like a podcast? I was like, no, I want this private, private, private. Yeah. I like, and whatever I share, I share,

but like, I want this to be just for me. Can I ask how much it is? I don't know yet. But when? She's like $4,000. I don't know yet, because I just made the appointment, so I didn't do my... My opinion. What? What times in your life do you crave readings, or is it random? No, not random. It's times when I know I'm in a transition period.

And like when there is a certain question that I keep asking myself over and over, like, then I will like crave some type of stability. It's just someone being like, you're okay. And you're not afraid of them giving you a bad outcome to something. No. I love you. No, I've never been afraid of that.

I've had psychics also be like, if I see anything that you, like, is there something you wouldn't want me to tell you? And I'm like, no now just say whatever. Yeah I agree I'm also in transitional period I heard of this guy who lives in New Jersey who you have to like physically go and see him so I haven't done it because I don't go to New Jersey but I feel like I would. Yeah before COVID I used to go to all of mine this was as nice man in West in Chelsea And his name was Dante and I fucking love him and you say yell at me too

He'd be like stop dating him. How many times do you have to come here and have me tell you this? Psychic with an attitude. Yeah, and I'm like oh my god. No, you're right. You're right. I love that I still have people my dams asking for my psychic and I was like no because you guys made fun of it when my DMs asking for my psychic and I was like, no, cause you guys made fun of it. So you don't get it, like the amount of people that are making fun of it and then my DMs be like, hey, what's your info? I'm like, no, you lost your fucking privileges.

I love when you do your fake crying boys. I don't know why, but I think it's one of the funniest things that you do. Oh, yeah. And then when I really do cry, you're like, okay, please stop. I think they're there. I wish there was just a broom that you could randomly pull out to be like, they're there.

Oh, okay, so I've been working on this new thing. Tell me if I'm right or not. I think that serial killers and stand-up comedians are actually quite similar. Okay. What is the evidence? The evidence is that they both don't have to be that good looking to be considered ridiculously good looking. Wow.

Did I just blow your mind? Yeah, because there are so many comedians that like are in the heart. I'm just throwing up there. Chris, Kristalia. Yeah. Looks like a tall Lord farquad. Yes. Ted Bundy has a uni brow.

If these two dudes went up to me at a bar, I would accept one drink and then I would say that I'm a lesbian. Yes. I would be treated like the hottest men that ever walk this earth. Dude, we talk about Pete Davidson almost every single podcast. Like we can't stop. It's the Pete Davidson podcast.

If Pete Davidson walked into an operating room and he was your doctor, you wouldn't look twice. You'd be like, okay, get the shit going. Let's pop off here. But like, change in comedy where it used to be just like, you had to like hate yourself to be a comic. And now there's more women that are like going in trying to be like, I can be confident and funny.

And thinking hot. I think there's also this weird like emotional connection to someone making you laugh. Like you instantly, not trust them, but you instantly just have this attraction to them. So even if you're dating a guy and he makes you laugh, I can feel myself, I can feel it bubble in my stomach. Oh no, I like him.

You know, like it's that kind of feeling. I've got crushes on the ugliest dudes because they made me laugh. Yeah, same. Chloe said same. She just woke up from an, okay, we don't have to say his name, Chloe. But if you want to, absolutely do it.

If you want to, you can, we'll dox him. But I also realized that I'm Ted Bundy's type. He liked loudmouth Bernatts. Yes. Oh, my God. Somebody told me the craziest story, speaking of murder. Somebody told me the craziest story. It might be a rumor. so I don't know.

Allegedly, allegedly, there is a guy who was in New York City was on a dating app. I don't know which dating app. And was talking to this girl, invited this girl over to his apartment because he said he was a chef and that he was going to cook her dinner. He made her dinner. He made her spaghetti and meatballs. Immediately, she got so sick. Like, was throwing up. Like, she was like, I have to go. Like, I'm so sorry. I have to go. She gets back to her apartment. She's like, really feeling

sick. She's like, something is wrong. I have to go to the hospital. She goes to the emergency room. They ran some tests. Pumped her stomach. Did something. And they go, where did you eat? And she was like, I went out on a date. I went to this guy's apartment, like told him the whole story. And she was like, you ate like human flesh. And she was like, what are you talking about? They called the police, the police came, and they were like, there is a guy, a serial murderer around the town that has been like killing people.

And I guess making meatballs out of them. I don't fucking know. And then feeding it to the next part, the next girl. Now this could be a totally made up story or this could actually be happening. One of my guy friends told me in a very loud bar the other night. And I was just a floor. Floored. Oh my god. So guys, whatever bad dating story you had, it could have been worse. So if you're on a dating app, yeah, and somebody asks you to go

to their house first spaghetti meatballs, do not go. Even if he's funny. Don't. Yeah, even if he's funny. That's crazy. I also think that some guys have a really good sense of humor over text. Like they've kind of mastered the text banter, but in person, they don't have it. Yes, but have you ever gotten the opposite?

Yeah, I love the opposite. The opposite is like, ugh. I find that like the funnier they are, sometimes the less funnier they are during text, like does I find his darchal He uses periods in his text because he's old. We were I was like are we fighting? To like sign it does I once told my other friend who's an older guy who texts I'm like you can't be using periods and texts like girls are gonna

Think you're a serial mad and he's like sorry. He's proper grammar, I'm like, you can't be using periods in text. Like girls are gonna think you're a serial killer. Mad. And he's like, sorry, you proper grammar. And I'm like, it's not anymore. Like this does also send okay, like okay. He'll do that sometimes, yeah. The I would spiral. Yeah. What's wrong?

Like what's going on? Are we gonna try it later? We were more of a phone call couple. I love that. He does not have the texting generation. He didn't even have, I think he had T9, but barely. Oh, but I have to tell you, Nikki Glazer told me why you're attracted to stand-up comics.

Why? I'm also surprised that you haven't dated a single one. Dated one, I know. I know. But it's because I haven't taken you near because that would have been dangerous. It takes one night at a stand-up club and you'd be like, I know that if I dated a stand-up comedian, we would really hit it called like back in the day.

From a different generation? Yeah, like way back in the day when we were at start to the age. Like humans. What are you talking about? When we were like in caves, homo sapiens. When we were like, like the guys in the Geico commercials, what are they called? Something man? Cave man? Cave man. Thank you. Okay, back in the, okay, are you high? It's not. It's really tight. Okay, thank you, Chloe.

Back in the cave man days, the guy that would be like getting everyone's attention telling them what to do and where to go. It shows like strength and that your full its testosterone. So there's something about stand-up comics like commanding the room and making everyone laugh that makes our like cave man Side be like attracted to him because he's the most powerful in the room. I get that I Absolutely got that doesn't make sense. I feel like I've never dated the quiet shy guy and Maybe that is my problem. I've dated the quiet shy guys. I'm just so into them.

But now I'm with a very loud man. It's crazy too because the number one thing I hate in relationships is being more tough-eyed by someone's loud antics and actions. But that's what I also love that. Like I love being out on the other side. I don't know what he's in it. Yeah, I's like, I don't know what he's gonna, yeah. I'm like, I don't know what he's gonna do.

He's not my son, I don't know. I just bang him. I have no idea what will come out of his mouth. But it's exciting. Yeah, I also saw a take talk about like why sometimes you're like that guy's not hot enough to treat women the way he does. Yeah. She was talking about how there's like hot enough to treat women the way he does.

She was talking about how there's like two types of men, the one men. The one who were like emotional caretakers and emotionally available, tend to not be as hot because the really hot guy's never had to learn. So then when a guy who's not that hot is an emotionally intelligent, you're like, you're not hot enough to act like that. But it's created this dynamic of like hot guys who don't develop. I like the toilet flush. It's so us. It's so us. That should be our lead in song. Look Chloe has a pee. No. Chloe and her road dogs.

That's what they call it. Do you know what a road dog is? Yeah, they heard the phone call guys. And the stream. Um, wait, you know what I wanted to say about that, like, topic we're talking about? Yeah. I think it's best you date a hot guy who doesn't know he's hot.

But right when he figures it out and like you want him to you know have a little bit of confidence but when you got to date someone who was bullied I feel like you have to date someone who wasn't cool and then like all of the sudden in the last three years got cool. We're like all of a sudden got hot. Like I want to marry someone who doesn't get hot till he's 40. You know, like I want to trap him, lock him in at 30.

And then he doesn't develop. Yeah, let him develop. I mean, like these TikTok guys who are like hot at 16, I'm sorry. It's crazy. And then they just have like girls throwing themselves at them because they're hot Which they should enjoy a hot man, but you're right. That's why ugly hot is in that's why we're attracted to be Davidson Everything goes back to be David

Speaking of celebrities. Yeah, we have to talk about can we do some front page news? Yeah, let's do it. I have a lot Okay, well, I want to just bring up the stormy yellow bus story have to talk about can we do some front page news yeah let's do it I have a lot okay well I want to just bring up the stormy yellow bus story yeah what are your thoughts that out of everything stormy wants she's gotten like full on theme parks in her name bombane however you pronounce it anything all this girl girl wants is to be a normal kid I know I'm okay. She wants to get a fucking school bus. Like, and Kylie's like, oh, we bought her a yellow school bus. Bitch, she wants to go to public school with the normal kids. She just wants to get on the bus, say hi to the bus driver and take her seat. Like, she probably watches

movies of what it's like to be a kid and she's like, why is my life so fucking weird? I think she only rented it for an hour. I don't think they actually bought her a school yellow school bus. It's still that's even sadder. I know it is sad. Like something that you never thought about. Like the first time you thought about getting on the school bus,

yeah, you were in like kindergarten and then you did it every single day and by high school, you were like, if I have to get to places by a school bus one more time, I'll lose it. Just a smell of the rubber. I know. But I also think what's sad is that it shows it doesn't matter what you have, because there's

so many poor kids who ride the school bus. And this bitch has everything, sorry, called Stormy a Bitch, but Kanye, you guys said. Anyway, she has everything. And all she wants is that experience, that basic experience. Also, like the school bus is where... She goes down. Yeah, people, you either make it or you... It can break you.

Yeah, it can break you. I've been broken on the school bus. I've thrown up on the school bus. Who hasn't? Yeah, it's just a lot happens. If you don't have like a buddy that saves you a spot, like it could be a scary place. Oh, that was once I probably prepped

one of the really rich girls lost her Chanel earring. You literally went to what Gossip Girl, the school Gossip Girl was created about, kind of. Yeah. And I did not fit in. And everyone was like like this girl lost her Chanel she lost her Chanel and apparently my I went up to the teacher and I said what's a Chanel and it is people here you and did you get bullied for it

they probably heard me and that's why they bullied me but the teacher thought it was so cute she told my mom and she was like, keep her innocent. And I'm like, oh, we're poor, cause I feel like I'm poor. Oh, I'm innocent, cause my family's poor, got it. But like I was like, fine Chanel, and I thought it was a girl. I thought it was, I thought we lost Chanel.

That honestly is adorable. That is so fucking cute. But I was trying to help. I just, no one was giving me instructions I used to like kiss boys on the bus. You would yeah Oh my god, I remember that when you go to like a trip and two of them are dating and then you'd be like Oh my god. What are they doing? I'll never forget it eighth grade trip to Washington DC kissed this kid named Nick. Was it Tom? No, maybe.

The dating industry has broken me. I'm broken. I'm not a random matchmaker the other day who said she knew you and I was like why haven't you set page up and she was like oh she won't let me and I was like I know you're talking about and she has DMed me a couple times and I haven't responded because there is a part of me that's like doesn't want to meet someone through a matchmaker no not that but it's like you're not actually ready? No, not. You want to be on Millionaire Matchmaker with Patty Stanger instead. Yes, that's. That's a good question.

No, it's like, is that where I'm at? Like, I can't, you know, like, is that? That was like when people would be on e-harmony. Right, like, I feel like there's a stigma with a matchmaker where it's just like, okay, she's done all she could. And now we have to put matters into someone else's hands. Like, I don't, and that's just like my own insecurity

because there's dating apps and there's like, it's so like, everything is so unique now and like how you meet up someone, but I don't know, I still have this feeling of like, okay, am I that much of a loser? That like, do you think you could have fallen in love with a marriage that was what's a call to when the parents set it up?

Well, a range marriage. I beg my mom every single day. Every single day I beg my mom. I say, I don't care. You find them. I touch your judgment. If my mom loves him, I love him. So I'm like, why don't we?

I want to do an app where it's just moms. Just moms. Just moms go on it. And they just swipe. Because you know what, So I'm like, why don't we, I want to do an app where it's just moms. Just moms. Just moms go on it. And they just swipe. Because you know, they're always like, oh, you daughter would love my son. Yes. Literally have moms all day swiping on sons. And they use your photos then.

They talk to the other moms. The moms already get along. Why is this not been done? We just came up with a brilliant idea. I have been on this great amazing earth for 28 years. Now once has my mom been wrong about anything. Same, exactly the same. Now one thing.

Well my mom's been wrong based on the stories I tell her before. Yes, based on my information. She has made a bad decision. But I made her love guys three months in and then she started like sense and she's like what's really happening? And I'm like, yeah, it's horrible. It's so bad. It's so bad. She's like babe, why didn't you tell me and I'm like, cuz we loved him together. No, I need an app where all the moms just put their kids on profiles. Yeah, and then they go through and talk to each other. Because moms are honest too. Moms know that this sounds a little shit.

Yeah. They do. Okay, I like this a lot. I love this. It's called Moms Talk. It's called Moms Wipe. Mom. It's called you came out of my vagina. Yeah. It's called...

Yo mama. Yeah. We'll workshop the name, but I think that's fucking brilliant. It's called Yomama We'll workshop the name, but I think that's fucking brilliant. We're worth shopping. We're worth shopping Sorry, I'm leading the beginning of from page news, but I'll forget What do you think about Courtney Kardashian saying she's an auto sexual? She's attracted to herself. I Hear her and I stand with her and I agree and I Will join whatever cult she's forming. Honestly, Sam.

I... Here's the thing, though. Here's the thing. If I get turned on by myself, am I a lesbian? Valid question, no. Okay. No. Getting turned up by yourself, it's just your auto-page.

Just yourself, your page control. Right, because I don't get turned on by other women. Sometimes. Oh my God, I can see you in the threple. I could too. Honestly, I'm at my wood scent. Anything I get thrown at me, if someone asked me to join their sister wives, I would honestly contemplate it.

Because I love you. I love you. I was on stage last night talking about three sums. Would you rather have a three sum with two dudes or one dude, one girl? Oh yeah, she's not lesbian. She said. But she said, she's like, I feel like I'm the kind of person that I'll have a threesome with two guys who are just like really good friends and just want me there so they don't.

So it's not gay. So I get that. Sorry, Chloe. Let's Chloe LeBrange at Chloe LeBrange. Follow her for more. Oh my god, she was going in last night. I told her to do word PG jokes. She didn't.

Wow. But the quote, I like it a little bit crazy. Yeah. I mean her to do her PG jokes, she didn't. Wow, but the crowd is good. Could I like it a little bit crazy? Yeah, she goes hard. It's so funny because I asked Sierra this question, and I said, okay, when you, like, her and I have never had a threesome before, but when we picture a threesome in our head, she pictures two guys. I picture two girls in a guy.

What, so like your first reaction when you think of a three-some, what do you think? You do think of like a girl in a guy because I think that's what has always been presented to us. Right, I feel like I haven't seen a lot of two-guy girl situations, but I'm not mad about it. Not mad about it, but I told you once I was sitting in bed with British Dave and his other Australian roommate sat down in the bed and I had a mom where I was like, are we gonna talk?

And then they were like, Hannah, when you're leaving, we're challenging video games and I was like, okay, I read this wrong. Read it wrong. But next, you were probably gonna bring this up, but I think Krav has and oh Megan Fox need to move over. Yeah, we were like getting so comfortable with our two favorite celebs couples and we were watching Megan Vox and MGK Mr. Gone Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz have taken the internet by storm and I'm fucking here for it

They have walloped the internet you know Channing Tatum's my personal crush. I know he is I think everyone has a crush on Zoe Kravitz. If you die in a girl. So dumb. If you don't, you're stupid. You're so stupid and I don't connect with you on any type of level if you don't. If you don't think Zoe Kravitz is the actual coolest famous person ever, I don't connect with you on anything else. She has really good style and she was married for two years and her wedding dress that she wore was everything yeah the coolest wedding dress I think I've ever seen she was very like Audrey Hepburn and she also her mom is with Jason Momoa I mean also her dad is Lenny Kravitz oh my god I like how low and her mom, what's her mom's first name? Lisa Bonay. Lisa Bonay.

Monae. Bonay. Bonay. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Monae is that pyramid scheme, I think. Monae is the artist. Painter. If God was like, let's make the coolest person,

it would be her. But also, what did you think about Channing Tatum's style? And do you think she styled him? Okay, I have mixed emotions on Channing Tatum and I'm gonna be totally honest with you because I do know that he is at the top of your list. Wait, so you saw that photo and you weren't like, I wanna fuck him.

No. No, like I think he's hot and I think he's cool and I like how big he is and I like that he can dance. He's blue eyes. Facially, he doesn't really do it for me. Well, I don't even know where to begin because I don't... You think if he grew hair, you might like a more? I think if he just changed his face, I would.

But there's something with them together that's really hot. There's, there's some, I think he's more hot, I think he's hotter with her than he is on his own. Oh my God, that's such an interesting point. And I want to see someone that I'm, yeah. I want to date someone that I just elevate the fuck out of him. Someone that was like, she definitely made him wear that because he's not one to go like super trendy with stuff. Yeah, yeah, She definitely hasn't. But he was dressing like a kid who just left them all from buying stuff at Hot Topic. But I loved the meme of the two of them and she's wearing the blue dress and she's like laughing so hard and it's like me on every first date. Yeah, yeah.

It's so true. I'm like you are not. But also like remember when she jumps on the back of his bike? Like, no, they're so cool. But did their PR teams go okay on the back of his bike, like, they're sorry. No, they're cool. But did their PR teams go, okay, put on a cute dress, go get your bike and go frolic for 30 minutes. No Hannah, and you wanna know what, you've been very cynical lately about celebrity couple pictures. Just take it for what it is. No, I'm cynical about the media and the narratives

they're trying to portray with love. No you are. Yeah, that's true. Because everything's for clicks. And why do you think celebrities are all single? Because they just use each other to further their careers. But I think that they actually genuinely have been in a relationship for a while. Yeah.

Because she, I was like reading about it and their first rumblings of them were in January. Oh. And her divorce just became final. So maybe they were waiting for the PR boys to wait till that happened and then they're like, okay, go frolic with it. Like, why was he on a bike and why was she riding the back of it? Have you ever done that with anyone?

Yeah. I have a A bicycle? I'm, no. I was, I was like, talking to this guy, oh, that's just a whole thing. I was talking to this guy for a little bit. And one day, he was like, okay, we're gonna like scooter home. And I like started laughing and I was like,

I'm not gonna scooter home, but like, you totally have the best time ever. And he was like, no, like, just get on my scooter and like, we're going home. And it was the cutest thing ever. And he was like, no, like just get on my scooter and like we're going home. And it was the cutest thing ever. Wait, like a razor scooter? No, like a rebel. What's that?

Like a motorized scooter. Oh, okay. Like what I got hit with. Yes. So yes, a razor scooter but motorized. Yeah. So I literally just like my five three self just got in front and like put my hands on the handlebars and then he like drove it all around and it was the cutest thing ever

and I don't think I talked to him again after that. And not by my choice but like who knows. I was just thinking because during quarantine, not that I have the money or the wherewithal of a lot of these celebrities, but when a normal person like myself walks outside with des, these moments are not adorable. These moments are not adorable. When I show up to brunch with him, like, I'm not picture ready. Right. So I guess I'm comparing normal situations, because celebs are people too.

But I stand them. I really like them. I think they're really fun. I really like Jesse J, though. Do you remember Jesse J and Channing? Yeah. Did you see that whole Jesse J. Nicki Minaj thing that was like a couple of weeks ago? We never talked about it.

Oh, yeah. Because Jesse said that you could explain. I don't really know. Just know that that Nikki asked to be part of this song. Yeah, I never fucking asked. Like, I thought Jesse James was kind of like, okay. Yeah, Jesse was like, I didn't know you didn't ask. Like, I thought, like someone told me you wanted to be on it. So I put you on it and then you were acting like an asshole about it.

She was like, I never fucking asked to be on your dumb song. Basically, it's like what she said. Niki Minaj sometimes she says some iconic lines. The one thing I will say about Jesse James, I, or Jesse J, whatever, is Jesse James. Yeah. I never saw them long-term. I genuinely don't think the person you date after,

like, the love of your life or like your merit, like, after your divorce, don't think the next person you date you ever end up with. But it's funny, because I feel like a lot of people do try to end up with them because they want that like quick fix of like, they went from having a relationship to them being alone and they're like, let's get back on board.

We have a relationship. I feel like it just never, like it's just the rebound person. I mean, I'm still rooting for Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum, but that's just a throwback. Did they date? No, but they were and she's the man together and it was like, oh, right, it was iconic.

Oh my God. I used to be obsessed with teen moms, so when I saw the story, I was like, wait, we have to talk about it. Fera Abrams is like, people are yelling at her and calling her a bad mom, because her 12 year old daughter, she let her die her, like the front of her hair all red,

and was like wearing a crop top. And like I had just seen this after I saw Courtney Kardashian let Penelope die her hair red. Yeah. And I was just like, this is it? Look, I'm not a mom. I have no idea what it's like to be a mom. I can only go off of like what my mom did and like now being a grown adult, what decisions I might potentially make.

I feel like we grew up in an era or generation that when you were 12, you fucking looked 12. But I remember we accidentally would watch MTV when you were 11 and you were like, I'm a naughty girl. Yeah. I used to watch sex scenes were 11 and you were like, I'm a naughty girl. Yeah. I used to watch like sex scenes of movies and be like, I can't tell anyone, you know? Do you need to close your eyes when people would kiss?

No, I was in a loser. I did. I put my hand over my eyes when someone was kissing. Oh my god, I was such a prude. Yeah, you were. I did that until I was like 19. I was like, oh my god, how do you do it? Oh my god, no, I was scared.

I feel like I always loved love. Like I always wanted a boyfriend. I always wanted to be in love. So I grew up with my dad saying, don't let men distract you. Yeah. And now I'm here and I'm just like, was it all a lie? Oh, no, I do think that girls are growing up differently right now and they're exposure to a lot more things. And I hope that everyone is happy.

I mean, yeah, I mean, I hope whatever, do whatever you want. And if your kids happy, your kids happy, but like it's just, I don't know. Well, you don't want the girl to think that she's more worthy because she's sexy or pretty. Right, right. That's really what it does come down to. You want at a young age, I want my daughter to be like, I want to be a smart or athletic or kind or empathetic or funny. That like people like you because you've done something to like draw attention to yourself

like dye your hair crazy color. Like there's such thing as like bad attention and I think when you're young it really does fuck you up. True. I mean, I want to do this with my daughter but I'm really going to try hard to not call my daughter pretty. Like, I don't want her to think that that's a compliment. And I'm not going to call her ugly.

It's just, I don't want it to be something that she puts value on. Like, when I see her, I don't want to be like, oh my god, you look like a little princess. That's for 10 years. I walk in Hannah's home for just being like, you ugly bitch. Do you fucking homework? No, but think about it. When you know when you see a little girl, the first thing you do is you go, I still pray.

You look so pretty. Yeah. So then she inherently learns like, okay, if I look pretty, people like me more, then as she gets older, if she doesn't feel pretty, could she just match side of standards? Like, you know, she's unhappy. So if you meet a girl, I try to be like,

ah, wow, you're really strong. Or I'll be like, oh, like, that's, or you could be like, oh, that's a cool dress, but you don't go, oh, you're pretty, little princess. I don't meet many children, and it's probably for the best. But what do my parenting advice as someone who literally prays every night not to have a child? God, when do you even I'm a mommy pod? Please can I not be pregnant today? Please can I not? Wait, do you think we're gonna have Giggler Squad when we have kids?

It'll be a much different podcast and I can't wait for it. But the Gigglers are growing together. Yeah, we're growing together so it will make sense when we are that neat. We're growing, we're learning. Do you know who I think about that a lot with? Who? So weird, Taylor Swift. I feel like I grew up with Taylor Swift's songs,

so in high school when she's crying about the cheerleading team and all that bullshit, I'm like, yeah, I connect to that. I feel like now soon she'll be married and be a mom and she'll make songs and I'll connect to that. Because I- She'll be like, why doesn't he take out the trash? Did he adishes when I want him to?

Yeah, exactly. Sometimes kids are assholes. I feel like they're always assholes. Except hours, you know? Yeah, our kids are gonna be great. I said to someone the other day, I was like, I'm telling you here now, when that kid pops out

of my vagina, slapping a bow on her head. Like, she will be in the incubator with one of those massive headbands. And if she has anything like me, she will try to rip it off and be like, Mom, let me do me. Mm-mm, no. No.

My mom, I refused to wear hats. She'd put like a cute outfit together with a matching hat, and I would throw the hat across the room. Hannah, burner. And then she'd make me do it for the photo, and then I'd rip it off and throw it off. I used to watch kids like you. And be like, I'd be like, how is she not getting the hat?

And then I would roll around in the dirt. Did you see the photo I posted with my cousin? You were the girl. You were the girl that it was picture day. Your mom had you looking perfect. And then you went to recess, got all sweaty. Then when it took pictures, and we're just like, I looked at those kind of girls during picture day

and would just be like, how do you ever? It's fucking picture day. It would so funny is like if you had a crush on a guy, I feel like you would like wear the cutest outfit, you'd like be around if I had a crush on a guy, I would find out like where he was playing basketball, go play basketball with him, beat his ass in basketball,

and then be upset that he doesn't like me. Oh my God, I would sit on the bleachers and be like, no, I love this sport. Like that day, Kara was my, I mean, she is my cousin, but she was like the coolest cousin when I, she was like 16 now, 12 and all the guys loved her. She was like blonde, blue eyes, Barbie doll. And I wanted like, the guys to talk to me too,

but I was just like, do we want my best girl? She's like, she's gonna know what. She's special. I think we're such good friends because my best girlfriend, all growing up, was the same thing. She was such a tomboy. She was on the basketball team. She was on the softball team.

And she was so fucking athletic, but our humor and brains just got each other, and it was just such a juxtaposition because I was like the girlliest girl on the planet. I love that and also I think it teaches us about romantic relationships of how important it is to find someone who is the same sense of humor as you. And as a as a giggler, we've realized that giggling gets us out of a lot of part-time.

We've hit an hour. Yep. Everyone go to Giggling.squad. We have new merch coming out soon. We have a new announcement coming out soon. Great to see you. Great to see you. Great to see you.

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