Giggly Squad - Giggling about bad kisses, good vaginas, and coconut oil

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

Paige watched the Jay Alvarrez sex tape and also has a crush on Post Malone. Hannah remembers some terrible kisses. GET MERCH AT GIGGLY-SQUAD.COMWATCH ENTIRE EPISODE ON PATREON.COM/GIGGLYSQUAD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm in the day just got away from me. Welcome to Giggly Squad Mother Effors. We have another episode of Giggly Squad. How are you, Pagy? I'm good at how you are. I feel like we have so much to talk about. I keep writing things down. Like, oh my god, I must, must bring this up with Hannah. I know it's going to be intense because we have this like, in notes, you could have a little group note,

like share the note, and Pagy keeps adding to our Giggly Squad note, which means shit's about to get real. But I think we should start with advice today. Yeah, let's do it. This is a good one Okay, how do you make your man a better kisser? Dude leave. Oh my god. What's her name? Oh wait, no, we shouldn't blow this girl up because yeah Don't worry friend. Oh my god My boyfriend's like interest day So have you ever dated a guy who's a bad kisser?

No. I don't think I have. Does that mean that you're the bad kisser? Fuck you Hannah. He's kidding. I've dated guys who are bad kissers. And like, okay, wait. You've dated guys, like, this is my boyfriend,

he's a bad kisser, or like, we're on like a fling. Like, this is like, we fucked up a few times. I dated boyfriend, he's a bad kisser, or we're on a fling, this is like, we fucked up a few times. I did it in one guy who was a bad kisser, who was my boyfriend. And did you ever say anything to him? So his form of bad, because you know, you have a bunch of weird drunk kisses where you're like, oh, that was disgusting, he teased cigarettes,

or he's just like, his mouth is covering your mouth like I think we've all been there in like a drunken rage, but this guy would not use tongue Okay, and it's not that he wouldn't use tongue in like a sexy way It's like he would kind of open his mouth Like where and then I would use tongue and I was just searching down a rabbit hole for nothing Like I would like go to meet a tongue and nobody was home. I'm not a huge tongue person. I'm like a little, you know, like you're making out

and then like you like touch tongues a little bit. But then there's like when you're like really going at it, then like, you know, there's like certain times where it's like acceptable. As your boyfriend, like I should, our tongue should touch at some point. Oh right. Correct. You know, there's like certain times where it's like acceptable as your boyfriend like I should our tongue should touch at some point Correct, you know, like and also like you know when you're just flown around like funny kissing with your boyfriend And you're just like yeah, I love like when you have a boyfriend

Wow, I'm like so single right now. I love I love when you have a boyfriend and they're like trying to annoy you and they just like lick you and you're like Oh my god, ale but deep down you're like I'm obsessed with you That's so funny because I'm that person in relationship where I annoy this shit out of my boyfriend And I just like I'll like take a lamb or like put my tongue in his ear and he'll be like Stoo Anyway, yeah, I don't think I'm lonely. I just think I'm I'm want to annoy someone. Like I'm just annoying someone. You know, I miss someone being like, can you shut up?

Do I like him or do I just need to annoy him? Yeah, I love annoying men, but I do think with this girl, yeah, the bad kisser, the advice I have, first of all, I also, you know, guys who kiss too fast and aggressive and like, you know, when you just want that, like when a guy kisses soft. Yeah. It's the, it's like that's a men kiss.

It, this is the thing, I've read this before because I was googling it when I dated that guy and they're like, say, don't say, I don't like when you kiss this way, say, I like when you kiss this type of way, but he's never kissed that type of way. So if I said that, he'd know I'm lying. I came to like, I love when you kiss with your tongue. You have to be like in the moment, like making out

and do something subtle, like, oh, go slower. Or like, yeah, like, be like, oh, let me feel your tongue. Like, put your tongue in my mouth. You have to say it, like, in a sexual way that's like, do it, like, don't make do it. Don't make do it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it doesn't look like you've been thinking about it and talking shit on podcasts about it. Just like, oh, I like that. Like, put your tongue in my mouth more. Yeah, you have to do it like, don't make motion behind it. Like it doesn't look like you've been thinking about it and talking shit on podcasts about it.

Just like, oh, I like that. Like put your tongue in my mouth more. Yeah, you have to do it. You have to trick them. Dating is really all about tricking men into thinking they're smarter and they're goddamn idiots. Ha ha ha. I actually think at one point, I like kind of got annoyed

and I was like, can you kiss with tongue? Like I did it the worst way. And he was just like, what? And I was like, what you kiss with tongue? Like I did it the worst way. And he was just like, what? And I was like, what? And he like got pissed off and I'm like, oh, you're mad. And it like became a fight. And that's how you know it's not right. But I do think also the sex wasn't good.

So I believe that kissing is equivalent, like their kissing game is going to definitely give you hints to their thick game 1,000 and 10% except there are those few times where you're totally blindsided. But it's like really bad. Yeah. You're like, wait, but like we had such good chemistry making out and now like I'm unclear on what you're doing. What do you think are the biggest mistakes guys make it bad?

They try and go too fast. Well, yeah, they try to jack him or you like your construction site. Yeah, like chill out. You know, like, I know we're not here for a long time, we have a good time, but like, take it slow, I'm not leaving, I'm not going anywhere. Also, everyone has their own likes and dislikes,

and as you get older, like if you're in early 20s, I get it, you like still swallow and stuff, and you just do as you get older, like if you're in early 20s, I get it You like still swallow and stuff and you just do what guys want, but like when you're horrible Bro, it's adorable Mom fast forward through this part now I do this thing where it's like oh my god I didn't know that I didn't know you were about to, and it's like in my hand, oh my god, I'm so sorry. How did they get back off?

You try swallowing that bullshit. Oh my god. It's just disgusting. I'm proud of like Bushy-eyed, bright-eyed Hannah. College just wanted to help you. To be loved. Just a go-getter. Just a real go-getter.

Never, never start off with that because then he starts expecting it and then next thing you know, it can't be good for you. It's just calories you don't need. Remember when guys were like, no, like there was like a time in your life and they were like,

no it's a really good for you and like helps you lose weight and like all this shit. No, they said it's good for your skin. It clears acne. I've tried everything. I know for a fact that that's not one of the things that helps my skin. I feel like Kim Kay would come out with lunch.

She's like, it's a potency of Ragey's sperm. It made me famous and just put it on your skin for two years and just watch your whole family become famous on a reality show. And your whole face and body type will change as well. But yeah, long story short, I feel like also kissing. It's not like people are amazing, kisses are bad, kisses, necessarily.

It's like chemistry between two people. It's all a thousand percent chemistry. Yeah, and then there's just some people who are like, what went wrong when you were younger? The Alyssa Ryan asked, how do you deal with Cadi co-workers? So when someone's been Cadi co-workers? So when someone's been Cadi, you'd think like, okay, just complain, like tell on her.

But it's not like that. You can't go to the boss and be like, Sarah's being annoying because in their head they're like, well, Hannah's starting drama. Right. That wasn't there. So to deal with the Cadi co-worker, you can't just tell on them. I would say you start Going around and figuring out if other people think that coworker is catty. This is what I do But it's not good. First of all, you're gonna want to gossip with every single one in the office You're gonna want to get everyone against this one girl. Test the temperature out, you know? Yeah, like see if other people are as annoyed as you are. Because then you

actually use her to bond with other co-workers and be like, if Jessica talks about how smart her child is one more time. You worked in an office. Yeah, and I worked in some caddy offices. Yeah. You worked in probably like the most caddy of offices. Yeah, so you have to kind of figure out who else hates the person you hate and then just like use it as a bonding experience and turn it into laughter. Never get into a public altercation. And just like whenever they speak, just roll your eyes. And it's just part of working in an office.

If you liked everyone, that would be called euphoria. And that's not a thing. And that's a made up show on HBO. Um, you love- I love euphoria. I'm trying to think like my office experience. And I worked in an office and it was like when I started front page news. And I could tell that there were certain girls in the office like talking about front page news. And I could tell that there were certain girls in the office like talking about front page news and like how embarrassing it was for me because I had like 3000 followers. And now I would like to send all of them front page news sweatshirts. I know what you would do. You're just like quiet and then when you have to address the person you get their name wrong.

Or as your mom would say, just forget their name. Like, be in a meeting and be like, oh my god, this is so embarrassing. What's your name again? I'm so sorry. And they're like, I've worked here for eight years. And you're like, the way I would deal with it was like, I could tell when girls were talking about me are being like, caddy or whatever. And I can be the pettiest of petty, but also I'm so sensitive. So like, I can think of the petty things in my head, but also I'm crying on the inside that you're being so mean to me.

So I think the best advice is to honestly just ignore the fuck out of them. You're not relevant in my life. And you don't have to be mean, ignored, just like you have other stuff on your mind, ignore it. Yeah, you're just quick with them, and if they try and talk to you, you're like, what? Yeah, of course, I'm so busy.

Like, and you have to be short. Just like we say with boys, do not let them distract you from your ultimate goal, which is doing a good job at work. Um, I have an interesting one. Okay. From Grace Olivia, my boyfriend is a jewel fiend. And I hate him slash when he does it. Slap him him not care help

Dude, oh my god, okay, I can't with this one Like if I want to hit my jewel, I'm gonna do it. Can I tell you this is a secret? Are you giving the boyfriend advice now? I hit a jewel for 1.5 years from my ex boyfriend. He never knew that I had it kept it in my bag. Um, would hit it when we were out in the bathroom would run to the bathroom. My girlfriends would be like, you have a jewel and be like, I never gave it up like he thought I did.

So boom. And it only made me more pissed. Like let me be myself and like, I'll quit when I want to quit. Yeah, I think it's less, don't go at the jewel necessarily because that'll just piss them off and it'll make them feel like you're being controlling. And also they're addicted.

Like it's not like the side of it. Right, like it's addiction, ma'am. Yeah. We're trying out here also they're addicted. Like it's not like, like it's addiction, ma'am. Yeah. We're trying out here. We're literally trying out here. So I think what you do is be like, hey, I feel like the jewel is a vice for something else. Like are you stressed about something and the truth is

addiction is like an after effect of stress. I've also quit so many times. Like you have to do it in like a strategic way. You can't just go cold turkey and throw it out the window. It really doesn't work. You're going to freak out. So if you go up to him and you're like, look, I'm worried about your health. This is horrible for you.

Also you're at high risk. If you get COVID, you're on a ventilator. You're dying. I will do it with you. Let's cut it down to half the amount of times you still get that. Don't get the girlfriend addicted to it. No, but I'm saying I will go through it with you. Let's cut it down to half the amount of times you still get the girlfriend addicted to. No, but I'm saying I will go through it with you. Yeah, yeah. Make it an empathetic thing because then if you're kind of a dick about it, then every time he goes for his jewel, it's going to

cause tension in your relationship. So I think more so being just caring, be like, I totally get it's hard and understanding. And also's like he could be doing heroin. So consider yourself lucky. Wow. That was one of the wisest thing you've ever said. He should be a doctor. But also guys, joling is bad for you and you shouldn't do it. However, if you're addicted, get help.

Let's do one more. Look at it. I love these. Oh my god, this one is so good. I always pick the inappropriate ones, but I think they're more fun. I love that, they're funny. Is sexting with no picks with a guy you've never met a bad idea?

This is from Nina. No. Why? I'm not a huge picture person in general, just because I always knew I was gonna be famous one day. So I just, I'm not a picture person. Have I sent a picture to like a boyfriend, like a full boyfriend?

Yes, but someone I just met and like, no. I've never sent a vagina pick to a boyfriend. There's no way of making that like cute. I'm so faced tuning your vagina. That's when I've really hit rock bottom. And I'm like, let me just clear this up here. We need to talk about the J Albrecht sex tape because I was so, so, so. Yeah, we have a sex tape conversation coming up, but we're just preparing you right now.

Do not ever send a picture of your vagina. And also, if you are sexing with someone and you haven't met, like, it's fine. We're in a pandemic. What else are you going to do? like if you're gonna send a pic girl just crop your head out. Also make him work for it a little because then it's just not as hot. Also I think words are the best because it's all about teasing and it's also just good practice. There's also this thing called um like sexy gifs. Real like You can tell that I've never heard of this before. I forget what the website is, but I have them all on my phone. And they're just like jiff's of people doing things, but it's sexy, but it's not like, oh my god, this is like porn.

It's not porn. It is, but like it's not like two and one context, would you send one of these gifts? These gifts. Like if you're texting sexually, and he keeps asking you for a picture, and you're just like kind of, the way I deal with that is I just ignore that text. I act like you didn't ask me for that,

and I go to like the next thing, and then I see how many times I keep asking. And then I just send like a Jeff, and I'm like, oh, like this. And they like get, they're literal like mice, because they get distracted by like the next piece of cheese. And they're like, oh my god, yeah, that's exactly what I want to do.

And then you just start sending gifs back and forth and then you they don't even realize they trick them out of getting a picture. That's actually smarter than what I do, which when a guy asks for a pick, there's like one token photo of a cat with its legs out. So it's like kind of like sending up pussy and they're always get mad when I send it but I personally think it's so funny. But you're like I'm a woman of comedy. Yeah. This is who I am. What did you expect? It's a fun pun. We're having fun. It's a sex pun. Go to sexpun.com. Anyway, let's get into it. Can we please talk about the sex tape?

Let's just go into front page news because I was unaware of this, but Paige is very in with the young tiktokers. Okay, so I have like in the beginning of quarantine, I was in a huge tiktok hole, and I've recently rediscovered it. And I was like, why did I stop watching tiktok? I was like, I'm getting love tiktok. So I kept seeing all this thing about like Jay Alvarez and like coconut oil, and they had no idea who he was. So I did my front page news due diligence and I googled everything.

He is a travel blogger who used to date Alexis Ren and he made a sex tape that was leaked but like obviously he cut it out. I think Alexis Ren dated Noah Centineo. Yes she did. Timothy Chevrolet and Noah Centipede. Noah Centipede. Noah Centipede is such a good one. I refuse to call these little kids by their real names. If you're under 30, we shall not call you by your real name.

Noah Centipede, don't you have a group project to finish? Stop looking so hot. It's making the teacher uncomfortable. Noah's voice is what really gets me. Okay, so he makes a sex tape with his like model girlfriend. And I love a celebrity sex tape. Like I love to see what's going on. So me and my friend were laying in bed and she was like, we need to watch a sex tape. So we pull it up.

It's filmed exactly like his YouTube videos. I have so many thoughts. First of all, I need to know who was filming it. And like, did they cut? Did they break? How long does the filming? I have to watch that many celebrity sex tapes because they're really hard to find online. But like, I remember the Kim K1. I remember the Paris Hilton one and it's very homemade. It's very like the guys perspective. Kim K1 was very homemade. This was cinematography, Oscar award winning. Background music, transitions. Angles, transitions, outfit changes.

Also, can I please say something? It was definitely sponsored by that coconut oil company because he turned the to see which coconut company to the camera. Hondo pay. 1000% also another question. Why Missy Elliott? the to see which coconut company until the camera. Hundope, 1000%. Also another question. Why Missy Elliott?

I can never watch Mean Girls again. Can't ever watch that scene again. Two, how did he know the exact temperature to heat up that coconut oil? That wouldn't cause third degree burns or would just be like slippery. Three, immediate UTI. All I could think of was if this bitch does not pee immediately

after this UTI. Absolutely, use infection the whole thing. Like, oh my god. And my final thing is, did she go into the doctor and say, hey, you know how like Barbie dolls don't have the ginas? Do that. And he was like, say less. Like, sure, vagina was non-existent. Okay, so that's very interesting because you sent me like that little clip

or whatever. It was kind of, it was kind of small and I couldn't see a lot. But all I know is there was a cut of her vagina that was a literal tiny line. Like a slit. It was like a slit. And at one point I was like, mind doesn't look like that. And he said she looked like a literal Barbie doll. And then when he's pouring the coconut oil and it's dripping down her, I'm just like, doesn't coconut oil harden if you hate it too much? I don't know. But like, look, I watched it over 10 times.

I have it over 10 times. I have it screen recorded on my phone, like because some of my friends like couldn't find the video and I was like, say less, I have it. I'll tell you what this is. How old are these kids? They're young, I think.

I think. The one got me though is like, it's all like hot, hot, hot, and then he takes the coconut oil, turns it to the camera, shows the brand, and then continues and I'm like, I can't. The girl that was asking advice about sexting, I'll text you the screen record of the video just send this back to your dude.

I really, really if you're not down for that. You're actually spreading this video on the black marker right now, you're like, I am. I'm like, oh you can't find it anymore on pornob, I got it. It's saved in my phone. So what do you think actually happened? Like for these kids to do this like fully produced sex? I think that only fans is just becoming such a thing. And I think he was just like, this will blow up.

Like why would we not do this? They obviously have no shame. I guess it's easy for a guy and the girl was like down and she knew she'd get famous and her body's hot. Her body is so hot, her boobs are like a bit much for me. Yeah, they're very fake. But I do have to say, for people listening, just because for some reason society decided that like,

a nice vagina means you don't have one. Right. That's not okay. And like so many guys, guys, first of all, every vagina looks different. And so many guys actually want more vagina. Do you remember when... I felt like such a feminist watching it.

I was like, unrealistic, unrealistic. Trigger, are you doing to our children? Trigger warning. Remember, was it Leah from Real House, was New York, that called, that said something about her fat pussy Oh, I hate that term. I've never heard that term, but we need to make fat pussy is like acceptable I'm never saying that I've never said it either I'm never saying those two words and I say a lot of stuff and I've never said fat pussy

But it's like it just oh my god. I can't I actually remember some guys said something about a fat pussy and I said what is a fat pussy and he was like it just means it's like juicy I don't know but the point is is there's a lot of kind of pussy's out there that all men love so just if you're vagina is not a slit it's nothing in the world no it's not the end of the world one time I was at a dinner this is. I was at a dinner with a bunch of my guy friends and they're talking about this one girl that they had like I don't know some one of them had sex with her or something and the one guy goes, you know like you can like see her vagina You know what I mean and I go absolutely do. Like, I absolutely do not know what you mean.

He's like, you know, like you can see it when she's like on all fours. And I'm like, again, not picking up what you're putting down. Like, I have no idea. So like, more of the story, everyone looks different. Everyone's beautiful. Just don't send a picture of your vagina. Yeah, just don't send a picture of it. However, like learn to love your labia lips.

That's what I have to say. Make that labia clap. Clap those labia lips. Oh my God. Page, you're not supposed to say, oh, that was bad. Yeah, but like, so anyway, I love Jay Alparez. Um, how was it? It was wild. It was amazing. And like the whole coconut oil thing, you know, not my vibe because like I do get UTIs very easily, but like he was choking her and it was like they had transitions. They were in the shower. Like it was just, you know, as well thought out. And I would love to see the behind the scenes of that.

Like I love her, like, when in my eye, she's okay, we're going in the shower now and she's like, well, is my hair gonna go wet? And she's like, what is that matter? Yeah, like I'd love to see the scene cut up where it was like, okay, scene one shower. If you could pull around here, like, you know, like how do they do every thing?

Like I'm telling you, it wasn't actually sexy, how it was done. Like I know what it's like to just do like a one minute comedy video. It's a nightmare. So for them to do like a full on sex scene. Yeah. Did he orgasm at the end? Uh, I don't know if they show that.

I also have to say to any girl who feels upset if their guy watches porn, do not at all. Because- I never understand that why girls would feel upset I recently saw a guy's process I was like if you're gonna pick a porn video which one would you watch and he was like what and I was like what would you want to pick and he was like literally anything and then you're like oh my god this literally like it's so like girls I'm like I have'm gonna get a little bit off on anything. And then you're like, oh my god, this literally, like it's so good. Like girls, I'm like, I have to feel like she's safe.

I have to feel like she likes it. I feel like he, I need to do a background check on him because I don't want him to like have any kind of weird. I want to know his stance on abortion. You know what I mean? It's like funny. Like people are always like, guys think about like having sex all the time and girls are like, no, like we do always like, guys think about like having sex all the time

and girls are like, no, like we do too. Like we definitely do too. Like I think about it a lot too. Like if I'm on a date or like whatever, guys think about it so much more. Like so much more. I think it's because they have this thing like, like I forget about my vagina.

Yeah, for God's sake. The only time you remember your vagina is when you have a UTI or when you're like hooking up and you're like, oh, it's starting to have a heartbeat. But otherwise it's dead. When she gets a UTI, I'm like, why are you doing this to us? You're punishing me for something and I'm like, I got it.

I shouldn't have done that to you. But I'm trying here. It's hard out here. I'm trying. Even with a ping, that's not from your vagina. Some people think it is. it's from your peo. Like your vagina literally is just like doing her own thing as long as she's not like inflamed.

But guys have this swinging physical thing that's hitting them and like a little wind causes it to like get hot. Like it's just a whole monster that I just think they're way more aware of and then they're always thinking of places they could put it in. My favorite thing is like knowing you turned a guy on

without like doing anything. Like one time I was hanging out with this guy and we were like with a bunch of his friends and we were on the couch or something. And I don't know, something happened. He was like, I know I can't stand up. And I was like, the best compliment I think I've ever gotten. Cause you weren't trying to be such a...

Yeah, like I wasn't doing anything. He was like, I can't wait a second. Like I can't stand up. I go, I literally Because you weren't trying to be sex. Yeah, like I wasn't doing anything. He's like, I got away this. I get like, I can't stand up. I go, I literally asked you what you wanted to eat. I would. Do you remember the first time you witnessed a boner? Live and live in color, like saw like an actual penis or like, notice that like a guy was getting hard.

I was in Central Park. How do you have a full story in that day? I just want to send up my story. I was like, OK, I was really asking Park. How are you out of full story in that game? I just want to send up my story. I was like, okay. I was really asking you a question. Yeah, you're like, shout out my gulp. I was in Central Park. No, but I was in Central Park with my like 17 year old boyfriend, because I was a prudial.

And we were like kissing. And I remember kind of feeling it when we were standing, like while we were kissing and being so embarrassed for him. Yeah. Oh my god. I feel so bad. He has, like I literally thought it was the most embarrassing thing ever. And then I also looked to my left and there was a hobo jerking off. Oh my god. Do you think that's what got him hard? But that's the most New York City story I have to say.

So New York City. I don't think you're having a romantic moment and then like of course. I also have like the worst memory ever. I was on the phone with my best friend from high school last night and she was like talking about something that happened in high school and I was like I have no recollection of any of this. So like I don't even remember, I couldn't tell you the first time I like. You're like I've had so many boners in my So many boners like thrown my way. I just I can't keep them all truck track

Okay, what's next I'm from Bajini's we're having like a very sexual podcast today Let's talk about red table talk. Oh my god, dude Okay, first of all jayda pink and smith. I don't know what it is about her, but I'm obsessed with her. I love her like silver Hair right like who could she look like a superhero a full superhero and it's like super short her eyes are insane Her mother does not age. Oh like you mean me left so hard, they are aliens, they don't age, they look stunning. No, they're aliens. Is there, how often does her mom go on that show?

There's always a three of them. Okay, it's always a three of them. I haven't watched that much, and I'm also gonna admit, I watched the mom questioning if they should have Olivia J. Don, and then I saw a little clip of Olivia J. talking and it was too cringy, cringe worthy for me but give me the goods. What happened? So when I first started watching it, Jada Pinkett Smith was like we're having Olivia J Don. She wants to tell her side of the story and what is her mom's name

I don't even know what her name is but she's calling her Jada Pinkett Smith's mom. So her mom was very against it. And she said her points on why she was against it. And I like totally agreed with her, but then I totally agreed with Jada Pingett Smith. That's why red table talk is so good. Well, Jada was like, we can't treat her the way we don't want to be treated.

But let's think big picture. The mom was like, we shouldn't have, why should we give Olivia Jada platform? The mom was like, why would this girl want why should we give Olivia J to platform? The mom was like, why would this girl wanna come on a show with three black women? Like, does she, like is she doing this for a reason just to be like, oh, I'm like an ally and like this isn't. Exactly.

You know, like she thought that she had malicious intentions and behind it and I totally see that side. Yeah. Because it's like, why, we have this platform and now you wanna use. Cause it's like if she could win them over, then it's like, we have this platform and now you want to use it. Because if she could win them over, then it's like, then she's good. Because she took scholarships, basically,

from people who actually could have hard working people who could have earned, who could have actually known how to row, but actually gotten the grades. But it's also funny to think, because you're like, how guilty is Olivia Jade? And like, I watched it. It's so funny. I think she just, she just dumb. Like she didn't know.

I don't think she knew. Okay, okay, okay, okay. She knew, but it's like, you know how your parents are gods when you're growing up, like whatever they say goes. So I told you understand, this is not the first time they've pulled some bullshit like this. She's gotten into everything she's ever wanted. That's just how family is that she just she didn't know that there was anything wrong with it Like if you have money, why would you not pay for your child to go to school?

But like when you're doing the wrong machine, did you not feel like like this is like weird? Yeah, you can even bring that up. I like forgot about that But I grew up in a town where it wasn't like that affluent, but there were people with like money and I know multiple people that put in a library so that they're all could go their daughter could go to whatever school. Yes, I guess there's like my parents were like you're stupid and were not red, so like good luck. But her thing is like what they did was fraud and I do think that instead of her just like going on a show and like having those people tell her

what she did wrong and be like, I'm sorry. Like I wanted to take action. Like what she should do is create a fucking like charity for scholarships for students in need. Like do I want that kind of action? That's like what I want to see from Stasi. Like instead of just being like, oh no, I know. I fucked up like show action.

Like show like. And I feel like J oh, no, I know, I fucked up like, show action, like, show like, and I feel like Jato was like very much on that side too. She was like, you know, look, like you were unconscious, you didn't know that this was a thing and we got it because you lived in a bubble, like, and now you know, and, you know, just because you do have money or you have an affluent family,

like, you're, that doesn't always mean you're gonna be okay, like my kids are super rich and my daughter had depression. Like that means nothing. Exactly. Because the grandmother kept being like, no matter what happens, she'll be fine. And Jada was like, but she might not be. And like, wouldn't it be great if we could help her?

Wow, I know, you love with the mom, saying that then Jada would say something even better. And you would be like, damn. Like I see that too. And then I'm just so smart. Yeah, and I'm just like watching them. And I'm like, I then Jada would say something even better. And you would be like, damn. Like, I see that too. And then it was so smart. Yeah, and I'm just watching them. And I'm like, I'm obsessed with bulldozing. But Jada's point was like, don't stereotype this girl

as just this white, rich, privileged person because you wouldn't want them to stereotype you as some kind of black person. And look, if I had a huge scandal and I had to go and tell my side, you better believe I want to go on red table talk. I feel like it's like I would feel safe, you know, like I feel like people would listen to me. But they were hard on her, huh? They were hard on her, but in like the correct way. Yeah. You know, like shit had to be said.

And. Well, do you remember when Stasi went on what's that woman's name? Tamron Hall. And Bob. That went bad. Left. That went's that woman's name? Tamron Hall. That went bad. Left. That went really bad. Why do you think Tamron Hall was different than going on a red table talk? It's a different format. It's a different setting.

Tamron Hall is a reporter. Yeah. And you know, Tamron Hall was more just making her own story. Where red table talk is more of a discussion and open. But I also think, you have to think big picture, like if Olivia Jade helped Red Table Talk, get a bunch of views, good for them, but it's like a thin line between,

like do you feel afterwards that she's forgiven? Absolutely not, but I think it was, it was like, look, this girl was 19 years old. Her parents said, hey, we're paying for you to do this, take this picture, like you're gonna get into school, everything will be fine, everyone does this. Like, I think she really was just so unconscious that it was wrong.

Like she didn't know, if your parents don't tell you something and you never, like, and that's what the grandmother was saying. She was like, yeah, but you have the news. Like you knew this shit was wrong and Olivia, like, and that's what the grandmother was saying. She was like, yeah, but you have the news. Like, you knew this shit was wrong. And Olivia was like, but like I just didn't. Like, I really didn't know when I feel so stupid for not knowing. So I think like the acknowledgement of that was huge.

And she was like, and I'm not done like learning. Like, I'll never really know what it's like to be black or what it's like to not have like us foot in the door already. And she was saying like how she has been volunteering with like children and all these charities. I just think that she needs to admit that she knew she was getting over on people. Yeah. Like you had to know that you were cutting a corner. I think she knew she was cutting a corner but I don't think she knew that it was wrong. I thought she I think she knew she was cutting a corner, but I don't think she knew that it was wrong. I thought she, I think she just thought like everyone who has money can do stuff like this. Yeah. Like if you have money, why can't you do this? You know, she, because she kept being like,

my parents worked their whole lives to like give us this life. Like, why would we not use certain advantages? And it's like, Ray, but that's wrong. It's like, yeah, and kids work their whole lives to get into USC legitimately. Mm-hmm. Wow, very, very interesting. Also, if you think about it, Olivia Jade was like, kind of like the first like Gen Xer, who was like really famous, like of the art of generation. She's never like, she hasn't been able to take a

manage of the whole like TikTok movement because she would have probably huge on TikTok and stuff. But she had like a makeup line at Sephora. Oh my God. Her YouTube's were huge. She was crushing it on her own. And she's gorgeous. She looked so good. I feel like she looked like she had fillers. Interesting. And you guys, I'm not saying anything about about yeah, but you're like she's like a child. She's not I don't know if she did I think her face is literally just like that shape like like huge fat cheekbones Yeah, I think that's just what she looks like because I've watched her older videos and she looks the same interesting

You like how if it was so good she just looks like a 19 year-old No wrinkles. Yeah, I was like, she's fresh out of the womb, Hannah. Like, you're like, something's fishy about her skin. It's super clear. No wrinkles. I'm OK. Anyway, I did not look that way in my team. Let's continue what's next.

No, no, no. Some professional news. OK, we've all been waiting for it. We want to know why Kelly Clarkson's getting a divorce. You're going to love this story because they feel like you love like juicy shit, especially if it has to do with like, you're not taking my money, bitch. Okay. Kelly Clarkson's husband and his father were acting as their manager and taking so much money from her.

And finally, she was like, dude, this is insane. He basically was taking fees from her for the last 13 years that were astronomical and doing things illegally as her representation when he's not her agent. And he started to just get super, super greedy. And she's like, I'm not paying this. So now she's-

Her husband. Yes. Her husband and his father. Oh my God. But it's weird to have means they probably had separate finances. And he was just guzzling as much as he could. So her husband and his father are members of, it's called Starstruck Management.

And they, Clarkson is accusing them of fraud and illegal services. Cause I guess there are some laws in California on what you can do as an agent, what you can do as a manager, cause people take advantage of certain people. So they're saying that Clarkson owes them $1.4 million. And she's like, first of all, none of these contracts are legal because you're not actually

an agent and you're trying to act like you were my agent and I'm represented by CIA. Get out of here. So she's trying to get them to pay her back money that she's paid them and not pay whatever. And he's asking an astronomical amount for monthly spousal support. And this guy's loaded. He's wearing the Mac and Tire's son. Dude, he's loaded. Get out of here. I'm sorry, I cannot with this because back then, men love to call women gold diggers and all this stuff. When it's first of first of all, okay, maybe the man was making the money, but the woman was like, holding down the family and the whole house.

So now it is women are making money, and now men are doing worse. We're like, you're not even taking care of the kids in the house. I mean, I'm stereotyping, but I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't sound like a fucking rose petal. And then they're chasing the women for the money when it also took so much more for these women to make their money than these fucking spoiled, fucking men born

out of a successful woman's vagina with strong aslabia. So I was talking to a group of my guy friends. This is actually a couple of weeks ago, but I just thought of it. I don't know how we even got on the subject. And one of them said, would you feel comfortable with your wife making more money than you? And I immediately answered, like, dude, what? Yeah.

Like we're in the same household, like it's all going to the same place. Like why not? And most of my guy friends said no. They said no. I wouldn't, I would feel super insecure. I don't know if I could deal with that. And I literally looked at them and was like,

what a fucking pussy. Like, are you kidding? And paid. Get out of here. That's why me and you were single for a bit. Because I'm just like, what? Just a bit, just a bit. Please don't put that energy on me.

Just a bit. Just a bit. Because when you're, I't put that energy on me, just a bit. Just a bit. Um, because when you're, I mean, I think that's why I've been into an older man, because he's actually confident. He's had his career and I joke. I go, I'm your sugar mom now and he goes, good. I want to play golf and relax in a hot tub. Well, you make that money.

And like, like, what? He gets so excited when I get a deal or something and like, we, that's the energy I want in this family. Unless you're homeless and I'm dating you then like I'm probably going to have a problem. But like if you also have a job and you're working but I just happen to make more money than you, like okay. It also is so healthy in terms of like decision making like when you go shopping for something.

If you don't make any money in the family, it's like kind of awkward to be like, well, can we get this? When you're making your own money and he knows you are equal with him or more, then you're like, I want this. Do you have a point? Do you want to argue?

Also, Frances Ellis and who's the other guy? Julia, we love Julia. I love their podcasting. It's hilarious. Oh my God, we should have them on. We should do like a double, double. No, like we literally should do some for some type thing. Yeah.

I think they're okay. Well, that one a little. Sorry. Wait, who would you rather have sex with Frances or Julia? They're both taken, but this is just fun for us. So aesthetically, what's his name? Julia. Julia.

It's more of my type, but but I have a weird thing for Frances. There's something about him that I'm just like, well, there are two amazing comedians, oops, the podcast, check it out. I was on it once, you should definitely go on it. They're so funny. Frances says this thing on Thursdays, like the...

The car parking? The street sweeper, like Thursday, like alternate parking on Thursdays, and I send it to all my friends I'm like this guy's hilarious But they were talking about like if a girl Wanted to pay for half of her engagement ring would you feel comfortable with that? Interesting and I had to really think about it and Francis said fuck yeah

Why would we not split it? And Julia was like, no, I don't think I'd be comfortable with that. And I like really sat and thought about this and was like, if my future husband couldn't get me the exact ring I wanted, but if I gave like 20 grand toward it and I was gonna get what I wanted, I would not have a problem with that.

Wow, this is fascinating. Which is kind of groundbreaking for me because I'm pretty traditional in that sense, but like, Well, imagine he gets as much as he can and then top it off with 15 grand. Top it off. And make it like that much better.

And just be like, damn. Cause I'll also page up until this moment, we've bought our own jewelry majority of the time. Any time a boyfriend has ever given me a piece of jewelry and we've broken up, I've given it back. I love that for you. You're like, I don't need your materialistic bullshit. I don't want to be reminded of your fucking saggy dick.

I love when normally people say saggy balls and I just said saggy dick. You're like, I'm not quite sure what that even is. Well, interesting too is, if you're about to get proposed too, would you be like, hey, I can try to get an Instagram hookup? Or is this one of those things that you don't have to do? That I don't think I want to hook up. Even if they're like, oh, they'll show the ring on TV

or you'll show it. You're going to show it anyway. And they're like, we'll give you 20% off the diamond. I've done worse for less. I've done worse for less. I've done worse for less. Let me see. Tom Gerardi is getting... Can't catch a break.

He's getting another lawsuit from Wells Fargo. He breached a contract and he owes them like over $800,000. And now something happened where he can't, he's saying he's not gonna give money to her. Yeah, he's like not giving her like the hair monthly, whatever. Also, Eric, it's just like out here like commenting on Instagram just like fine.

Like is she okay? So this is just stirring up plot for you think Beverly Hills? I don't know. It seems like a real extreme. I Wonder if they just don't cover it all in Beverly Hills. They'll be hilarious. No way. They would be able to just she like fires two of her glam team Wait, can we talk about those other front page news? But like this is going into Bravo. Did you watch the Potomac season finale? Obviously. Oh, oh my god. Okay, Hannah and I watch reality TV very differently now

in the past three years, just because we know the deal. When she, when Ashley Darby at the end was running up to the producers and her what's her husband's name? Michael. When Michael was like, do you have the right to this footage?

I'm gonna be like, you fucking idiot. You signed a contract. You know, damn sure that they have right to all of this footage. And this is going to be put on the episode because you were acting like a psychopath. And when Ashley's like, they're literally doing their jobs. Michael deserves to be a housewife next season. Oh my God, I think he's the most annoying human

on the planet. He's earning his paycheck. But also, this is classic white rich male behavior being like, oh, I'm going to sue you. Oh, I'm going to, you can't put that footage because I'm going to get my lawyer on you. And it's like you sign a contract, calm down. But also, she was so embarrassed by him.

She was just staying with him for money. She's just like waiting for him to fuck up one more time and then just onto next day. I mean, dude, he can't have that much money that she's sticking around for all this bullshit. Is she kidding? He's apparently really loaded. But apparently they went on a vacation

to the bomb as the next day after that whole shit. I'll just never understand it. I really, I'll never understand it. I feel like I have dated some really wealthy people in my day. And like, if I can't stand the sound of your voice, next, like I gotta go. Oh, I have no idea how she tolerates him.

I don't get how she does it. He is, he has not only like publicly embarrassed her multiple times, but he also treats her like an asshole. Like he just the way he talks to her, I'm like dude. And also, come on, you're on TV now. Like she makes enough, she definitely makes enough money to support herself. And like what are they doing that's that crazy

and that lavish that like she's sticking with. No, the point is, is like, I think she's probably like, sorry, he doesn't have a yacht or a private plane then like get out. What are you doing? I think he does have a private plane. Oh, does he? OK, then we got it.

Just get out. Oh, sure, you're fine. But that finale was so fucking good. I really wish that Chris like punched Michael Darby, not because Michael Darby deserved it, but so that then Candace would get confused and be like, wait, my husband can be violent, but Monique can't. Right.

He did push Michael Darby. He did push him totally, nothing compared to what Monique did. Can we have an open conversation? Yeah. Team Monique, team Candace. I Don't I'm not like huge fan of either of them, but um, yeah, I have to be Tim Monique Interesting. Okay. I agree with you on a level of like Look Candace was in her face like what did you think you kept like provoking her?

You like flicked her hair at one point. No, I can't, Monique flicked her hair then Candice touched her. Yep. And then that's when I went to- Like what did you think was gonna happen? I think, and like at the end when Monique was like, look, I told you I was gonna drag you and that's what it is.

I was like, damn. And then when Candice then at the end, like I want, I don't like not liking her, but then at the end when she's like, oh, what are you gonna do? Hit me, hit me, and it's like girl, when are you gonna learn? Yeah.

To stop threatening people to put their hands on you. And if you're so traumatized by the girl pulling your wig, like, why are you doing that again? The whole season, her crying about it and being like, I'm so blindsided. Like, no, you weren't. What are you talking about? You were talking so much shit to her for years.

And then she finally had had enough and like, beat the shit out of you. And then it turned into her, like, just calling Monique like a hood rat and all that stuff. And that's just like, honestly, so not. Okay. Let's be honest, Candace, you were embarrassed.

That's what you said on the phone right after to your husband. You said, I'm fine, I'm just embarrassed. Then you press charges, you made it a whole thing, and then it got disproved. And it got, because you were equally involved in it. It's not like someone randomly assaulted you. Right. And I do think Monique is in the wrong, but it's like my mom at the principal of a school,

Monique would get suspended and Candace would be in detention for a month. Like that's just how it would work. No one is like fucking innocent here. Right, no one's innocent. And she was trying to make it like she is so innocent and how dare anyone think anything less. And the way she speaks to Ashley about her husband and stuff, it's innocent. And she was trying to make it like she is so innocent and how dare anyone think anything less. And the way she speaks to Ashley

about her husband and stuff, it's terrible. She's always like, what, he's cheating on you. That it's like, oh my God. Yeah. Unless Monique like walked into the room and Candace said nothing to her and Monique just walked up to her and like started beating her up.

That's an assault. Then like that's assault. That's assault. But like do you remember the New Jersey fight where Margaret, you know Margaret got her hair pulled? Well, she poured water and then y'all and then they pulled her hair. And they kind of did it very classy housewife

where it was like, oh shit, we can't hang out with that girl anymore. But there was no police called. There was no men called. Right, but you know Jersey is straight up mafia. Because they're like, no, we're not calling the police, you idiots. You wait till the finale to push your husband in the pool.

That's how you do it. You don't take it off. This is a reality show. Yes, I'm glad Monique. I mean, Candice was talking shit. And I'm glad Monique popped off. That's what a reality show is for. So let's play the game and stop trying

to get money off each other and all this stuff. But I heard the reunion is insane. So we love Potomac. We love it. Love Potomac. I love Potomac. I also really love Salt Lake City. I didn't watch the most recent episode.

I only watched the beginning of it. Yeah. Mary scares me. Mary? Not okay. Like, Mary's not okay. I do think, I do have to say, I love Salt Lake City too,

but people are already talking, it's one of the greatest housewives of all time, and it's like, we're four episodes in. Like the work that other housewives have put in and like to keep a show good, like let's all calm down, let them run their stripes. Meredith did come out like guns blazing in,

like literally, ask for a divorce on national television. We have to respect that. Also Atlanta started and the new girl immediately was told her husband like where have you been the last three days. You're watching me on security cameras and I don't know where you are and I was like and that's why you deserve a piece. I haven't watched that either. I need to watch that.

Yeah. There's so much good TV coming up. Hopefully even more good TV we shall see anything else page that you're watching. I used to watch shameless all the time and I realized I didn't watch the tenth season so I'm like watching that right now. I went to middle school with Jeremy White like we were in drama class together. Wait who does he play? He is the blonde one. Lip? Yeah. I love him. And he's like, Mary took her all I went to high school at.

Shoot. Sometimes I see guys who like so aren't my type and then I have like unrealistic crushes on them. Lip is one of them and also recently post Malone. So the guy that I was for Halloween the last three years, please explain. Yeah. He, I saw a video on TikTok the other day of him

and he was like leaving a concert that he had just performed at and he was like walking through the crowd and he accidentally knocked this girl's beer over and he like walked away and like five minutes later he came back with another beer and gave it to the girl and I was just like, I heard he's the sweetest, most talented, nicest guy. Wait, what if you dated Postmolong? I would. Okay, all I can think about is like my style would change so much and

it'd be so streetwear and so cool. I'd be so much cooler than I am. Like and I'm not typically into like artsy artsy guys, but like Post Malone, like who are good at their craft. Hot. Hot. You know what? You guys want to be attractive? Be fucking passionate in something. Be passionate. Be passionate. Want something so fucking bad, but you don't need it. Yeah, and like talk to me about it.

What are your plans? And like this is my five year plan, and like I'm gonna go perform on this stage, and like I'm gonna go win an Oscar, like just do something, you know? Make something exciting It's not too much to ask that I want my future husband to win a Super Bowl I

Want to end with Referencing Ali Wang who if you haven't watched her like original special is Incredible have you watched Ali Wang's first special? I don't think so if you love stand up It's so funny. And she basically has this whole bit about like how she has to stop dating skateboarders. She has to stop dating guys with just like a bed on the floor. Yeah. And then she talked about this whole story when she accidentally dated a homeless guy

where like she was driving and she was like, she couldn't, she thought it was just like super hipster. And she's like, oh, I'll drive you home. And he's like, okay. And then he was like, you dropped me off here. And she's like, it's the park. And he was like, yeah. No. Dude, that's some shit that would happen to me. And I'd be like, you love that.

She's like, you love that. She's unbelievable. So, he had to make it work. You know, you've seen some guys on the corner with like a big blue eyes and tats. And you're just like, I'll save you. I will be your sugar mama. And I'll pay forats and you're just like, I'll save you. I will be your sugar mama and I'll pay for my engagement ring.

You guys, thank you for giggling. We love giggling. Check out our merch. Check out our Patreon to watch all of this because we are. Yeah, because we looked good today. We looked good today. It looked good today. Like, it's basically a J. Alvarus sex tape with less coconut oil. Page, what do you have to tell people?

Help. Okay, thanks for your going with us. Thanks for getting in with us. Love you guys. Bye. I'm so excited to be here with you guys. Bye! Bye!