Giggly Squad - Giggling about being petty, strippers, and pregnancy scares

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

Hannah and Paige are beginning their west coast tour! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is up my gaglers, gaglers and gaglers? Wow. We needed to include them all. We are in Seattle or as they say it, C-Tam. Did you know that? C-Tac. It's like Seattle Tacoma. Seversport C-Tac right now. I mean, I- it's not off brand, did I not know that? I woke up in the hotel room this morning and I was like, where am I? I can be anywhere in the world. I woke up in the hotel room this morning and I was like, where am I? I could be anywhere in the world. I looked down a map, we're in Canada. Basically in Europe. No, literally, we're in Europe.

We're so far west and north. I've never been in the Pacific Northwest before. I've never been here. Turns out, people are like the same. I went to Zara, which was crazy off-brand for us. I went to Zara which was crazy off brand for us. I went to Zara. The lines were chaotic, a mess per usual and I just was like America's America. It sure is. It sure is. I will commend their Uber Eats. Works just the same here. I know. Where else? We are about to go on a full on tour. The next time you hear from us we're

going to have some fucking stories That's all I can actually love. We will have done three shows Also, we're in the same room doing this pod and it's really awkward and like you're being awkward and I think awkward I feel awkward. Like don't look at me When we do the podcast we still look at each other, but it's through this is like really intimate When we do the podcast, we still look at each other, but it's through a screen. This is like really intimate. Yeah. This is like cold-vidden to people.

Yeah. It's like, oh my god, I have to be in the same room as them now. This is a lot. Also, your hold. Can you tell us what you're holding right now? My stuffed animal. This is Remy. Remy, it's, um, Remy is an otter, I think, or a beaver.

I don't know, but Craig gave me this the first time we ever hung out. He won it for me in like one of those machines. And typically when you get things like this, you throw it in the trash, you know. Yeah. You're like cool stuff, Dan. It's runny soft. You can hold them. But for some reason, I randomly kept it. Like Sam, I said, Did you know what? That's cute. Like ears. Yeah. Please don't make fun Pitt, Sam Pitt. You don't know what? It has cute little ears. Yeah, please do make fun of Remy. And sometimes I leave him in Charleston

and he stays with Craig for a little bit. Please comfortable animal I've ever held. It's like, it's your emotional therapy. Aww. I take him on the plane with me. I love that. Yeah, I needed something. So you bring him out in public.

Is that he or she? It's a hey. Okay. Speaking of children and things we have around, I had one of those months where I'm like, this is it on pregnant. Yeah. Do you have those months?

I do, and it's so crazy because remember when I said to you, I feel like you're gonna get pregnant really quickly. Yeah. You've said it, a psychic told me I'm like a pregnant, or a psychic was like, oh, I'm sensing babies around you And I was like, I don't need that. Let's be honest. I'm reckless with the birth control reckless I take it. I don't go too many days without forgetting, but I'm consistently forgetting every other day So I like I'm always taking just two pills all the time. Oh the time. Don't think that's recommended and

Really not? I feel like I did the deed during like ovulation when it would be. Yeah, and of course. Do you track, do you track it? No, but I definitely should. I don't either. And like all I have to say is like pull out, but I don't. Like I forgot or something. Who knows?

Just you don't think it's going to be you. As you get older, you get lazier and lazier. Like think about the first couple times you had sex. Your paradigm. You're going to be you. As you get older, you get lazier and lazier. Look, think about the first couple of times you had sex. You're a paratrooper. If I do, you're going to get pregnant. Terrified. You're immediately imagining yourself in an MTV reality show of 14-em pregnant.

And that's where your life goes immediately after you pull that out. Immediately. And then you're in your later 20s, and you're just in a full-on relationship. And you're like, how do condom companies stay afloat. Yeah. How are they doing it? I don't even know what to put them on.

So this was one of those times when I was late. How many days? So I normally get it on Wednesday. Okay. And Wednesday came along. She didn't come. Wait, that's weird. Why do you get it on Wednesdays?

Doesn't it go by like, does everyone who's on birth control get it on a Sunday? It's weird. I consistently get it on a Wednesday. Like you start your fake pills on Wednesday? Yeah. Oh, okay. And then you get it on a Wednesday.

Yeah, I don't think it's weird, but it's consistent. Yeah, I'm very quick. She's like, you skipped a pill? We're coming. Yes, yeah. So when say it didn't come, Thursday it didn't come. And that's when you start planning your whole life. You're like, you imagine like your Sandra Bullock

in like a lifetime movie. And you're just like, we're bringing on a kid. And you have an accent all of the sudden. Yeah, start talking like this. I'm like, we are going to be a single parent. And you have to change your whole wardrobe I'm like I'm gonna have to move do I have to quit comedy like I'm fully planning I'm like my mom will help and I'm fully planning my new life I'm you just you just envision all of a sudden or single

For the plot you are now single or the storyline I'm single I'm too young To commit I am a child having a baby and I need to figure this out thank goodness for my mama and then I don't know where I am from in the South and I'm full on like all this and in your mom is Jamie Spears she's gonna and I'm not like I consciously decide I'm not gonna take a pregnancy test because I don't wanna be upset during the Giggly Squatch show. So I fully committed that I am pregnant.

Okay, but I don't wanna know. If you got to that moment, then you legitimately think you were pregnant, because I've only ever gotten to that moment one time where I'm like, I rather not know. I like now because I don't cry. I had like a little bit of upset stomach and I was like, yep, this is it.

I start googling. But then I was like, my boobs aren't hurting. I just, it's like COVID, anything that happens. You're like, I have it. It's like a slight headache. I'm like, that's the sign of pregnancy. They're like, are you overthinking? You got a pregnancy.

If you do Google signs of pregnancy, it's like, do you have a vagina? You're pregnant. And I'm like, fuck! So I'm fully pregnant. And then I'm like, do I tell my mom? I've decided I'm pregnant. Yeah. And because you always think like, it would be me. You know, like this would happen to me. You are 30. I'm like, I'm getting married. Well, this I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, because I won't be showing. Even if you got pregnant right now, you wouldn't be showing it in your wedding. Who knows, I am, I am so little. So I get on the, so I'm, during this time, I'm in Pittsburgh, I'm in Ohio, I'm doing shows, I'm like a audience does, no I'm pregnant. I'm checking myself in the mirror.

And then I get on the flight to Seattle. Tell me you stood in the mirror and like touched your stomach as if I was like a like we call our onboard baby, Shamus because it's like a really Irish name. Oh my god. Shamus and I'm like Shamu. Oh, Shamie. Then I called Des to just set a temperature like jokes and I'm pregnant to see his reaction. I was like I think I'm pregnant.

Mm-hmm. And he's like, oh, yeah. And I'm like, it's going to look so cute and a ski outfit. And he's like, babe, calm down. You're not pregnant. I'm like, it's so funny you think I'm not pregnant. Because you don't know how often I forget my birth control. Because if you did, you would never come in me again. Ever.

This is a disaster waiting to happen. So I get on the plane to Seattle.'s like 4 and a half hours from Detroit. And I get off the plane, me and my pregnant self. I get in the bathroom. And all I have to say is on the plane to be like, I'm meeting for two. This happened. Do you see it? Oh my god.

I've fled through my underwear. I got to throw out my underwear. It went through my sweatpants and um... I'm not pregnant! When you're getting off the plane or just today this happens. I'm getting off the plane. But I'm still wearing these sweatpants. I don't have sweatpants.

And I am sitting on your bed with them. So I apologize for that. Honestly, so on bread and I don't care. The thing about birth control and like, I have so many thoughts on birth control, not even just pumping ourselves full of hormones, which I don't think men understand that like, no, you have no idea this little tiny pill changes my whole existence.

Has a man ever had to do something every single day consistently for years at the same exact time every single day? Like think of something that men do every single day. Brush their teeth, but so do I. I mean barely. Demand really reminds me of twice a day. I feel like they don't. They probably even walk their hands after they pee. I mean barely. Demen really remembered twice a day. Like, I feel like they don't.

They probably even walked their hands after they pee. That's true, because they don't have to touch anything. Yeah. So it just added to the list of why I'm fucking hate. But I ended up googling it, and I realized sometimes when you fly a lot, it throws off your rhythm with stuff. Like, flying is crazy. Dude, you're also planning a wedding, which is one of the most stressful things you can do rhythm with stuff. Like flying is crazy. Dude, you're also planning a wedding,

which is like one of the most stressful things you can do in a lifetime. I'll be honest, I forget all the time I'm planning a wedding. Wow, good for you. I do have a wedding planner who's incredible. Who every now and then, just like, hey, you're just checking in.

You guys are still together. I just saw the internet. And I'm like, you know we're still together planning the wedding things. Might also be pregnant. We'll plan for that. My wedding planner was getting texts from her friends. And she'm like, no we're still together planning the wedding things. Might also be pregnant. We'll plan for that. My wedding planner was getting text from her friends. And she's like, well, I hope she would tell me.

I hope she would tell me. Wait, when people break up and call off their weddings, do you self-tipay the wedding planner? Yeah, I guess. I think so. That sucks. Does does have any like opinions on the wedding? Like, was there anything he was like,

I definitely want this at my wedding. Does this so funny because he's like, I don't care. And then I'll bring things up and he's like, absolutely not. And I'm like, so you do care. So we actually do have a- So we do have a-

So we do have a- So we do have a- We do have a- We do have a- We do have a- We do have a- We do have a- We do have a-

We do have a- We do have a- We do have a- We do have a- We do have a-? Like I said, I don't really care to do a father-daughter dance. I think it's like, I think it's like a little weird. And he was like, you have to do a father-daughter dance. It's gonna be beautiful. Like he like, I agree with that. And then he wants to do full traditional vows. I think if you said to your dad, we're not doing a father-daughter dance, he would act like he didn't care,

but deep down he would be really sad. Okay, so I was like, we'll do a father-daughter dance and I wanted to do the Beees, more than a woman, but then apparently it's like sexual and it's like weird. But I'm like, it's a love song. More than a woman to me. More than a woman to me. And then you can,

and then then then then then. With your father. I just think my father and I, we have this like best friend relationship where we're like step-brothers, where like I feel like I'm gonna like punch him in the gut during and he's gonna like act like you know be cute. I think when the moment comes you're actually gonna be a lot more emotional than you think you will be. Well one thing I've learned about myself during quarantine is I either will not cry at all and be so tough,

or I cannot stop crying. Like, when my, not to get deep, but when my grandpa passed away, we went to his house to do like kind of a, have people come over. And everyone was like cool, and I was sobbing the entire time, like a crazy person. To the point that I just kept looking at my brother like why am I going cry?

Yeah, but I feel like I either like I'm so That's a clear But I feel like I'm either like so tough and put together or I'm a complete fucking I've lost it. Yeah I've been cried in months Really? Yeah, so no you're do you're do for a good one. I even tried to cry the other day and I couldn't Wow, come on get this out and it's like a good like stubbed toe on a bad day Yeah, let it out lying on the floor like why yeah, why does this happen? Absolutely also? I just wrote a quick note about foot long

I Why does this happen? Absolutely. Also, I just wrote a quick note about footlongs. Thanks. I always get a footlong when I go to subway. How often are you going to subway? More than you'd think. What? With all of the great sandwich shops in New York City, what is it about subway that you're like drawn to?

It reminds me of just times in my life that I've been at subway. Subway's always been there, you know? No. Literally don't know. You had a BMT from Subway. No. You know what, I know what I'm gonna get.

It's consistent. God, that's how I feel about Chipotle. Yeah, like it's always the same and it's nice. Yeah. But I get a foot long and I was in the airplane. I was just gonna say the only time I've ever had subway is in an airport. Yeah, but I feel like I always get judged whenever I finish my foot long, which I always do. Someone has to be like, whoa, you wait the whole stage.

No, I always finish up. Yeah, obviously. The bread's so flat, you can smush it and that cuts calories. Yeah, to lose the calories. I can't breathe you smush it and that cuts calories. Yeah, it's a least, the cat's brain free, you smush it down. Cause there's something about half a subway sandwich that I'm like, this is for a baby. Are you which are chips on the sandwich kind of girl

or are you chips on the side or do you even do chips? I could, but I don't need it. Oh wow, see that's a non-negotiable for me. Oh, like for the texture and the same. I just always need to eat something and decide. Yeah. Because I get too bored with the main thing. That's why I don't like soup.

Wow. Because it's the same every time. It's like the same experience the whole time. Do you know that my boyfriend eats soup every single day? Do you eat or do you drink? What kind of soup? Is he like the hearty like football soup when it can? Hannah, it's probably one of the weirdest quarks

that I've uncovered about this man. And like when it really hit me, I had to think about it. Because I was like, there's no way someone's eating soup every day. He has quarts and quarts of soup. Like in his freezer, any restaurant, he's eating soup every day. He has courts and courts of soup. Like in his freezer, any restaurant, he's getting soup. He gets, he even when he orders soup,

but he gets warm. He gets three different soups. He doesn't do cold soup. And he's offended if you classify chili as a soup, not a soup. Oh, yeah. There's, oh, there's levels and rules. Does he like like bone broth?

No, I don't know what he like a whole broth, but he loves. There's like this one place in Charleston that he orders soup from. It's like, orzo something, that's his favorite. Does he have bread next to it? No, the bread. Bread guy. Wait, why? He's a bread guy.

Wait, why? He actually said to me one time this was like in the very beginning of our relationship and I was like, oh, do you want bread or I forget what we were eating. He said to me. What? I started to sterically laugh. I said, if you ever say that to me again, I will fucking kill you. He goes, I only eat bread in Europe. Actually the man has a point. The man has a point. I've ever had bread in like France. That shit is next level. What the fuck do you think you are? I only eat bread in Europe. How often do you eat bread? I was like, who says that? But it's kind of like only bagels when I'm in New York.

Not a huge bagel guy. He's not a huge carbs person. Like when we, here's the thing, he can snack. So like we can sit on the couch and we can snack and work very compatible. But when we order food, we're ordering different things. Okay. Like what gets him going doesn't really grind my gears, you know? And you both have different Uber Eats on your phone and that is okay.

I think that's the key to a strong relationship. Realizing that you don't have to order from the same restaurant. You just have to time it. And right. And right. Relationship eating, anxiety is a real thing. And it's because you want to feel bonded with them and then in the beginning They'll be like oh, let's get this also when you're with a dude who eats so differently than you like

Does is fun. I'm not gonna like this guys fun like it'll be driving late at night And he's like you want to get some Mickey D's and I'm like Absolutely, but I if I was with him what I be eating Mickey D's no do I need those thousand calories? I'm about to down no, but it's like that's why you gain weight when you're in love. But we've gotten to the point now where I realize, like, okay, just because Daz is having fun. Yeah, doesn't mean I can handle that. I'll be having diarrhea all fucking night.

So you have to know. You can't not. I know, it's so hard. I just want to have fun too. Yeah, then you put on a movie and it's like, do we need froyo right now for 50 bucks? Delivered? Apps of fucking lool.

So one of my favorite things that Craig's ever said to me is, how would you feel about a Wendy's spicy chicken nugget? I go, I'll suck your dick. That's a lovely language. I will put your dick in my mouth. Yeah, I'll do whatever you want me to do. Oh my god. Yeah, that has really bonded us.

But also, having the freedom to be like, you're in the Mufra Zushi, I'm not, but I respect that my God. Yeah, that has really bonded us. But also having the freedom to be like, you're in the moofers, Yushi, I'm not, but I respect that you are. Yeah. And you can have it. That was also quite freeing for us. That's okay, because Craig is not a huge... Craig came home for... Craig came home with me for Thanksgiving, and we have Italian food scattered throughout Thanksgiving weekend because you should. We're normal. was going to be like, what the fuck? But then I realized in her crazy manipulative brain, she has now taken over like what he deems as good Italian food. So she is. So anything she makes him, he thinks is so good, which like it is so good.

But now I know that she thinks she is the queen of Italian cooking. She was like, I am going to show you the most incredible cuisine. She was so excited. And I, she's like, you've never had lasagna before. Because I'm about to show you. She's like, wait for my baked seed egg. The plate. To page tell you about my egg plant. Have ever had garlic bread soaks in olive oil?

A little bit of salt. She's a little shatter with the texture of the tomatoes and the onions. Oh my God. She literally said, Depeche tell you what her favorite thing is that I make. I was like, no mom, it didn't come up in conversation.

I'm a little lucky at that. With my new boyfriend. Oh, by the way, the favorite thing my mom makes me is veal and peppers. No, it didn't come up yet. The peppers have you never had peppers? She's like, I can't believe I can't believe you didn't tell him. The salt is the same.

I love veal and peppers. Angel here pasta with clams, the frothy avolo. I never had this. Oh, sit down honey. Because we have to show you. It was like my dad found an orphan on the street. He was like, come sit at the table She'll bring you anything you want you want past she'll make it

Do you have you ever had it's ever me still? Cuz it's gonna blow your fucking brain. You're never gonna be able to eat anything else besides Italian food when I'm done with you My dad sent him home with hot super saw it in a suitcase. He said here in a brown bag look like he was handing him a gun To go kill some he was hey, you put this in your suitcase, all right, you take it home I'm he was like what is your mind? You like soup. I'm about to show you Fajoli and you never get about it in your life Possibly Jolie imagine the best soup you've ever had I would lose his mind. Possibly imagine the best soup you've ever had

with a million imagine the best soup you've ever had. And then you come here, you have mine, even better. Anyone else tell you they have a talent by food? They don't. This is the real Italian, okay? And you don't even look at any other Italian that's definitely my parents just started getting off

on asking him if he had had things. And I was like, he said he never really had any good Italian food. People say they have a Sunday sauce. They don't. This is the only Sunday sauce you're going to have. And once you eat it, you can never go back. You're part of the mafia now. This is the kind of mafia.

I'm quite, what kind of meat you like in your Sunday sauce? I was like, dad, he doesn't even know the available meats. And you know, she's not just doing the pork sausage. She's doing the beef. She's doing the like pulled pork. She got a glimmer in her eye thinking, because we've had everything she's made. We're like, yeah, no, we know what's coming.

It was like she found a new child that she could show the world to. She goes, I know Paige has a beautiful body, but have you over orgasms? From a Sunday source. Cause it's unlike I've been here. Cause your mouth is a little to feel 10 times better than a blowjob for my daughter. Believe me I know. I know it. Bolanes, you've never had Bolanes, you sick fuck.

My dad was like couldn't comprehend how it was still alive. He's like, well, how you get nutrients. How do you live? You never had to tell him what you were eating. What are you eating? What are you eating? Wait, so you're telling me, you've gone your whole life Walking around and you see pasta and you never Thought to eat it before you you spoke by an all garden and you never experienced the soup and salad

What are you we're the eating is there no Italians in the South was literally like oh my god? Like he's malnourish like oh my god like he's malnourished he's 33 years old he's alive he's well growing up I love how we just talk about Craig and he can't speak on his behalf but uh Delaware what kind of cuisine is Delaware what are they known for uh corn corn there's a lot of cornfields and a lot of chicken, chicken, companies, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, because Valentine's Day is coming up and we have a special segment presented by Macy's and Acast Creative page. What was your worst Valentine's memory? Oh God I have so many what should I pick from? What should I pick from? I think my worst this is I and I don't want this to go sour and make people sad because I feel like my Valentine's Day this year is going to be epic. But I was dating a guy and I was his full girlfriend and we had been dating for, I would say

probably a year maybe even two at this point and he had to travel for work and he was going to be away on Valentine's Day. Whatever, no big deal. Valentine's Day rolls around, no text, no flowers, no nothing, no acknowledgement that it was Valentine's Day. This is my boyfriend. And at one point, you must have been like, he is planning the biggest surprise, and he's pretending.

And like, what is going on? He's pretending to be a valedict. Yeah, I just got it. And you keep opening the door like, is that a Porsche outside? Oh no. No. No.

Literally, I'm walking into my building in New York City. I just see hundreds of flowers. I'm like, one of those has to be for me. No way it's not. So I finally text him. I think it was maybe like two in the afternoon or something. And I was like, hey, you remember that it is Valentine's Day, right? And he said, Paige, Valentine's Day is a made up holiday and I am away for work.

I can't believe you would bother me with this. So then, as a normal girl who grew up in this society, I felt bad for making it a big deal. And like, you know, I apologize. You're crazy. Right? I was being crazy. How dare I?

I go. Oh my God, run from her. Get help. Right, I was being crazy. How dare I? Oh my god, run from her. Get help. So nothing happened that Valentine's Day. This man comes home from his work trip. You know, and you do what you do, and you go through his phone one night, I found out that not only was he not away for a work trip,

he was in New York City. He had gotten a hotel room with another girl for Valentine's Day. No. And I said I thought this shit was made up holiday. Was this through taxi figure this out? Uh-huh. So he full on gave another girl. My Valentine's Day. What was the aftermath of this? I was raw. Did you say like I looked through your phone? Yeah, I admit to all of that shit because I don't think that that's wrong. That's for another episode. If I, yeah, that's a deeper cover.

The thing is if you didn't snoop, you would have been just like stupidly with this dude. You knew deep down something was wrong. Right. And you. I knew deep down something had gone awry. And I had to get to the bottom of it because I am a detective. And I knew there was a case to be cracked.

Wow. Did you break up right after? Yeah, we broke up right after for a couple of months. And then we got to do it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So I really am crazy. Yeah, we broke up right after for a couple months and then we got to see it. So I really am crazy. Oh my god. My worst Valentine.

Well obviously Valentine's Day has great days. Don't feel bad for me. I did get engaged just on a Valentine's Day. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I was not able to live up to that this time around. So it was the other goes. Right.

He set himself up for that. Yeah. I had just gone just gone out of this like kind of toxic relationship with this football player So finally like my best guy friend and I were like wait, do we like each other and he was so nice so funny I just love being around him and He was like I want to do something for you for Valentine's Day like basically And he was like, I want to do something for you for Valentine's Day. Like, basically saying he had feelings for me. And he was like so excited. I was going to meet him in his apartment. And when I got home from tennis practice, I just decided to close my eyes for a second.

I didn't wake up till 1am. I fell asleep in my soul. I just closed with like four miss calls from him texts. I just stood him up because I am a tired bitch. You're sleepy girl. I will never cheat on you because I'm busy napping. Napping. And he told me like what he had set up for me like all these chocolates and like we were gonna watch some movie together and like So I'm the asshole in this situation. You and my ex-boyfriend, shit all that. You're like crazy.

My best memory was this hotel, but this guy got me. Who tells her so sketchy? Oh my god. Especially like a Valentine's Day hotel. Like get out of here. But my question is what are you doing this Valentine's Day? What do you think? So my inspo for this Valentine's Day,

my aesthetic and vibe is like a classy, sexy vibe. Like I want my outfit, and I got my outfit already, obviously, it's from Macy's. I wanted to be like, she's trendy, but she's sexy. I got like these black, like satin trouser pants because I feel like if you change the material of what you normally wear, it does kind of elevate it. So like you could wear a normal trouser pant,

but if you make it satin or like a silk, it automatically makes it a little bit dressier than like having to feel like you need to wear a dress or a skirt. And sometimes it's super comfy when you get those like silk. Oh my God. So much for good about your long-distance. I'm a way.

Right. So I got these black satin trouser pants and then I'm going to do it with this like body suit, but it's, it almost looks like it's supposed to be an undergarment, but I'm wearing it as a body suit. And it's sheer and it's it almost looks like it's supposed to be an undergarment, but I'm wearing it as a body suit And it's sheer and it's from Donna Karen and it kind of oh, it's Donna Karen Yeah, it's Donna Karen, but I got it from Macy's another just like tip Donna Karen makes the best tites So if you need like black tites, honestly go on Macy's Donna Karen section. They have great tites but this is like a spaghetti strap,

body suit that I'm gonna wear with the pants, and then just do like a normal heel, and then I got like a fun pink. This is like an actual Macy's brand, I&C brand, like just like feathery bag. So it's like a little bit Valentine's Day without, so I'm wearing all black, but then I have like a like feathery bag. So it's like a little bit Valentine's Day without like, so I'm wearing all black, but then I have like a cute little pink bag.

I love that, like the feathers are really flirty and fun, but you're also sexy. Yeah, and very on trend right now with the feather. It's very complex. I picked my outfit. I went to macy's.com. I always, when I think of macy's, I think of like I want a nice dress.

So I found this. Yeah. Okay, how do you pronounce it? Rooshed, rushed. Are you C-H-E-D midi dress? Rooshed. Rooshed. I feel like it gives me like the Y2K vibes,

where it's like black, tight, shows my curves, but also like, it's basically like kind of see the sheer black long sleeve, because it's still cold out. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I love that vibe. It's made by almost famous. And is it black? It's all black. I love that. I love that. It's made by almost famous. And is it black? It's all black.

I love it. I love it. I like slutty black dress for Valentine's Day. And it's hard because it's like chilled out. That's so true. And you want to wear nothing but you have to wear something. I did get this really cute guess. Sessily convertible crossbody bag, it kind of just looks really classy and it's red. So it's like, oh yeah, wait, we literally had the same vibe, like wearing all black and then with our accessories making it Valentine's Day-ish. Because I also feel like if you're shopping, you want to buy things that you know you're going to wear again and like, obviously you're're gonna wear all black but like accessorizing to make it more fun and Valentine's Day.

Yeah because you want to feel like yourself and me and you are not about to wear just like a pink and red outfit. Oh god. Unless if it's like cool to tone type vibe but what I do like shopping at Macy's is because when I'm shopping in one brand, a brand's website, it's like hard for me to be like to find a whole outfit or a Macy's, you find whatever you want from all kinds of brands. And I'm obsessed with Steve Madden right now.

And they have these Steve Madden women's Ken Lee braided dress sandals. So they look like puffy braids. Yes, I know you're talking about. They're so cute, only a hundred bucks. The guess bag is only a hundred bucks. And the dress is $34. Yes, I know you're talking about. No, you're talking about. So cute, only 100 bucks. The guess bag is only 100 bucks. And the dress is $34.

It's so cheap. Treat, yo, damn self. What was your process shopping on the Macy's website? Like, did you like it? Well, since we've been talking about love so much, just because so many couples have been getting engaged, my process was, what would Megan Foxwell? So that's what I, that's what I's what I'm so excited for outfits. Go to macy's.com

or macy's in store to find your sickest most sexy outfit for Valentine's Day. And we're gonna take photos and show you on the Gagley Squad page how our outfits turned out. I'm excited. Me too. Wait, one thing I wanted to bring up, which I don't know how the fuck I got here. Pfft. Pfft. But I am on stripper TikTok. Oh my God, I love stripper TikTok. I was on it once.

Wait, this is the first time I've ever gotten to it. It's basically girls being like, honestly, I'm making mad money. Dude, they make so much fucking effort. Yeah, just normal girls And I got to the first video and it was this girl cleaning these two pairs of shoes And I was like those are wild ass shoes. There's no way this girl is like walking out like but I watch the whole video CVS in those shoes. Yeah, cuz I love a cleaning video. Yes

So whatever I'm scrolling the next video I get to is So whatever I'm scrolling, the next video I get to is this girl walking me through her day of what she does during the day and getting ready for work. And I was like, well, what's her job? And then I'm scrolling down, hashtag stripper talk. And I was like, I don't know how I got here, but I've never been more thankful. Well, they did one.

Men are stupid and I don't respect them. And it's being like me dancing for two hours and making five grand. Yeah, I'm like, holy shit. This girl's a fucking genius. Question, is does having bachelor party? Oh my god, great question. So I'm doing Miami and I was like, does, are you going to do a bachelor party?

And he looks at me and he goes, my whole life has been a batch of party All I'm gonna do is sit down and close my eyes and remember things and I was like ill Wait, I kind of love that though. He's probably happy to get a weekend. He's exhausted I'm tired. He's tired. He's done so many ski trips with his boys and like he's been to every fucking country This is why you find an old retired fuckboy. He doesn't even want to look at a stripper. Yeah. If he were to have a bachelor party, would you get mad if he had a stripper? No, but I also am going to say there's two types of guys in the world.

Okay. I'm going to say it right now. Yeah. There's two types of guys, guys who love strip clubs. Yep. And guys who not they don't like it, they just aren't, they don't care for it. And I hate to say this because this is gonna sound mean, but I don't, if a guy loves the strip club, I don't love it. Yeah, same.

And I am totally fine with, it's just in my life, the guys that I've realized I like, I love. It has nothing to do with the strip club. There's something deeper going on, and we need to unpack that. I did hear a stripper once talking. She was like, if your man loves going to the strip club all the time,

a lot of them are like super creepy touchy-feely. A lot of them are like love that power. They, ooh, they're like, and they have, it's just creepy shit. They love objectifying women. Yes. And I don't mind a guy who likes a strip club every now and then, but if he fucking loves going to the strip club,

I'm sorry, it's like a guy full of Instagram models on his feet. If he's going to a strip club, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say more than three times a year. I'm freaked out. Am I going to a strip club on my bachelor party? Apps to fucking loot me. Also, let's be honest about something.

Girls don't like male strippers, right? I'm so happy you brought that up because when the guy came during summer house, me and you were scared. Like, as a woman, I've never gotten turned on. Not even a stripper. I've never gotten turned on by a guy dancing, yes, by a guy dancing, because like hello Channing Tatum. Yeah, we know you love.

Yes, we love. But I've never gotten turned on by a guy like taking his clothes off and dancing. You know how quick I can get the egg from seeing a guy try to look sexy and taking his shirt off when he's just using roids and smoking jewels all day. And you smell like fucking cigarettes and your hair is so greasy. I guess women strippers way different.

Our bodies are stunning gorgeous. Worked the beautiful works of art. But my problem is I get to mental with the girls where I start wondering like, does she wanna be here right now? Is she okay? Is she financially worried about something? Is this what she wants? Or is she doing this? I'm gonna tell you,

Stripper Tic-Tac clears all that up. They talk about it, don't they? Yeah, they do, and it's actually very insightful. It's like a great community, but I know that these girls deal with some creepy astudes. So I'm going to say, if it does want to go to a strip club with his boys like cool, but he's not really that kind of guy. Craig hates them.

I love that. I love that. But that's because Craig is a little bit OCD, ADD, some other type of D and he doesn't like, he doesn't. One clear way to piss Craig off is like someone touching him. Like he cannot be touched by anyone. Like there's probably three people in his life that like if they just came up and hugged him, he'd be okay.

But even just like friends, he doesn't really hug people. He doesn't like, like you guys are perfect together. He doesn't like like even when we first started dating like he would lay like put his hat on like my lap and I would like touch his hair and I could kind of almost fall. I was like do you like that and he was like not yet. I know it's funny. I don't think he likes it. It's like super ticklish. So I like put my fingers through his hair and he'd be like oh yeah. I'm like wait you want me to pet you like a dog? Like just pat?

So the thought of like a half naked woman coming up to Craig and like rubbing her tits on him You'd think he'd like it. He's like, I don't want to be touched. Oh my god. A stripper TikTok is so interesting It's so good. There was this one woman who did a TikTok and she's like It was like her kids opening presents up for Christmas and they're like a Birken Bell. They were like, what does your mom do for work? And they think she's a nurse. Oh, that was what it was.

They think she's a nurse and she like takes out her heels and she's like until they're old enough like I'm a nurse. That's so cute. Yeah. But you know what, make that money. But yeah, there's definitely certain kinds of guys that it's adorable that they don't care for strip clubs. I think that's a green flag.

Because here's the thing. I haven't gone on like bachelor at parties. I've done like bachelor at things. It's not my personality to do like penis things. But I feel like if you want your bachelor at to be overly sexual, are you missing something in your real, really? Because like, yeah, you're interesting. You know, because like, oh my god, yeah, absolutely. You want to like celebrate a bachelor at and be like crazy and wild. But I don't really want to have a stripper, and I don't want to have a penis hat.

Sometimes it feels weird if you're all holding dildos. It's like, are we about to have a weird orgy that I don't really care for? You can only talk if you're holding the dildo to get your feelings out. Wait for the dildo, Emily, do you have the dildo, Emily? No, shut up, Emily. Wait for the dildo. Not that do the pink one you ruined this entire trip Emily

Please just stop talking. It's so funny. You brought up this stripper thing cuz does is like that too where he's like like if Girls hitting on him he gets like creeped out. Yeah, Craig like it will act like he doesn't know It's like at for a minute. I was like are you playing me or like do you do not know? He gets I could see him talk sometimes I can see him talking to girls and him like actively leaning away Craig You're being rude because some guys like literally are creepy where like they just see girls as Holes and they just like want anything Sorry, that was graphic. That was very original color daddy Guys just remember that that we are just keeping holes

So it's nice when guys like don't always want attention from every woman. Yeah. And it goes for girls too. I think it's a red flag if you feel like you want to get attention from every single guy. So true. Which we've all been there before. Absolutely. I asked the gigglers for their pettiest stories and I haven't gone through it yet, but should we go?

Yeah, I would love that. I think that's the pettiest shit igours have ever done. Heated at roommates, so I poured out her conditioning heat spray and filled it with water. That's diabolical. I mean, put like, put like acid in there or something. Let's get real. Let's get a Netflix documentary Sent Gorilla shit to a rude neighbor what how do you get Gorilla shit? Where do you get Gorilla? Shen? How do you know it's from a gorilla? I've always wanted to mail an ex-boyfriend a bag of dicks like you can send them a bag of dicks candy

Oh Do you know what really fucks people up do you remember when people are getting glitter bombs? Yes, that shit was real Oh, do you know what really fucks people up? Do you remember when people were getting glitter bombs? Yes. That shit was real. You'd open the envelope and it just poofs out. I think it's ever where I die. Before I die, I'm gonna do that. Glitter bombings for real. It's been, it's like herpes. You can't get it off you. I see myself doing it like if someone is mean to my child in middle school and I send their mom. This one's wild. My sister ate my snacks one time, so I threw out her favorite shirt.

Oh, no. That's some real sister diabolical bullshit. Yeah. It's interesting. I don't think we would, I mean, you don't miss what you don't have, but I don't think, and our personalities would have tailored to it,

but we're not personalities that could have had sisters. Interesting. Like, I think that if I had a sister, I would love her so much and she would be like, my built-in best friend. Yeah. But I don't think I would be able, you're like, I'm gonna be the star of the family.

I think she would be able to handle it. Let's just say it for what it is. We're main characters. And there's not room. You're not really competing with a brother because they are a different. My brother and I have like zero competitive stuff and it's just nice.

Yeah, it's because you're a totally different gender. You're not even, I don't even think of you guys. But sometimes with sisters are so close, I'm like, what is it like to have like, I'm like about my mom, but to have someone your own age that you're like so close with, like holding hands and like hugging all the time. Well, I feel like it's like, you know that someone automatically always has your back. Yeah.

But there are sisters that like hate each other, which I like valid. I never really understood. Like I was closer with my brother than some like sisters I know. Yeah, no, my ex BFF started dating my ex so I fucked her ex. Good for you. You should do her dad too while you're at it.

Throw it in, Zadi. He's probably the hottest. Have the mom join. You know, get real weird. At my show in Where Was I? Liberty Township, Ohio. And at one point, I'll start talking to the audience members. And sometimes there's certain characters in the crowd

that you get accustomed to. There's this one girl with this sweater that was hilarious. And she finally goes to the bathroom. And the guy next to her, I'm like, where'd she go? And he's like, I don't know. And I go, who is she? Is she your girlfriend? And he's like, yeah.

She comes back. And I go, how'd you guys meet? And she goes, I don't know, and I go, who is she? Is she your girlfriend? And he's like, yeah, she comes back and I go, how'd you guys meet? And she goes, I fucked his best friend. I literally fell on the floor. Oh my God. They don't, I got out. Being a standup comic when you're doing crowd work is just me being nosy.

I'm like, how did that happen? I'm just like asking in depth about the relationship. They don't talk in front. They feel like you're the answer if people give. You're never prepared for that one. Because sometimes they freeze up and then sometimes they tell you something that you're like, how did you just say that in front of 400 people?

Yeah. You almost get like word vomit because you're like so put on the spot. Oh my God, this is wild, this is really petty shit. I hate my brother-in-law. I told my parents he was a coke head so they wouldn't like him too. Oh my God.

That is defamatory. Just thinking of Thanksgiving dinner head so they wouldn't like him too. Oh my God. That is defamatory. Just thinking of Thanksgiving dinner and God forbid this guy happens to have the sniffles and she looks at the mom and she's like, I'm in. So did I call it or did I call it? God forbid he has a minor cold. My college roommate ate my salsa so so I unlike all her Instagram posts. Oh my god.

That is so funny. That is a lot of work. But I get it, it's also so fucking good. You know what's a lot of work on Instagram? Hmm. Obviously me and you like use Instagram for work, but as a friend, especially normal Instagram, yeah. How you, your duty to comment and like on all your friends photos, you're like in a fight.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I actually, I get anxiety like, oh that person's mad at me because I didn't like like comment. Yeah. I get that anxiety too. I feel like I've, it's been like so many years now that like if I don't my girlfriend's know that like, I just didn't see it. Like I didn't.

But I know that there's people where like you have to work, like all your best friends when they post, you better have a fucking fire comment. I will say though, my one girlfriend Alexa, one time texted me. She's so honest. She was like, do I have to comment on everything you post? It's like no you psycho.

And she was like, okay, why do you think like? I love that communication. Yeah, I was just like not doing it on purpose, but like you post a lot and it's tiring. I was getting pressure where I felt like if I didn't comment, people were gonna like spread rumors about us that like we didn't like each other anymore. Like we were in support of.

Yeah, so like I was getting excited, but then I've like been off my phone more and then I'm like, oh fuck, I haven't put whatever. But then some people die ballically, like don't comment or post on people's to be mean. Yeah, but that, you can like totally tell. Yeah, yeah. You know, when I do, when I can actively tell

like someone in my sphere is like doing that, I will go to their Instagram and like every single picture that I haven't liked, so that when they open up their thing, it's just that, wow, that's fucking petty now that I think of it. It'll just say, I, page server like this picture, page server like this picture,, it just, wow, that's fucking petty now that I think of it. It'll just say, I, PagerServe, but like this picture, PagerServe, like this picture. And it's just like, I see yours.

And I know you see mine. Oh, you'll do that to like friends. Yeah, I love that. That we're like secretly fighting with. And a bar a girl kept bumping me and she wouldn't stop. So I accidentally put gum in her hair. Oh, my God. People aren't talking enough about the little bar fights

that are so easy to get into. Some people have really bad bar etiquette where they just fucking push people and they're waiting for a fight. And if you're having a bad day, if you push the wrong person who's having a bad day, a fight breaks out. Cause they're times where I get pushed

and I'm just like, that's all good, that's all good. And the next time you get pushed and you're just like, that's all good. That's all good. The next time you get pushed and you're like, do you want a fucking call for me, bro? And you want to know who I usually get into fights with people like that? Like big fat, gross guys. I'm like, literally hit me one more time and I'm like, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

I see you. You can't stand here because I'm currently already standing here. I used to do this thing like, you know, and the subwayways really busy back when we used to be on the subway. And I'd see a guy walking and I'd be walking and I'm like he wants me to move because I'm just a little weak girl. Yeah. And I'm not. And then I just hold my, I hold and I'm strong. So I hold and then like will hit shoulders.

Yeah. I'll be like fucking move next to you. Wow. I would never want to hit shoulders with you. I'll hit shoulders. I'll be like, fucking move next. Wow, I would never wanna hit shoulders with you. I'll hit shoulders. I'll hit shoulders with these fucking men. But if it's a girl, I'm like, oh my God, I live here out of it. You can go. You're like, I'm pregnant, I need to live.

I'm pregnant! No one gonna get up for me. I'm pregnant. Just told my husband that his friend's wife is so jealous of me. That's just like me being normal, everything will to crack make sure just how I just wouldn't go shopping with me So I went and bought a new bag This is the thing though with that if you're husband It's like you're money like you're spending both your money

Yeah, like also even when people are like, oh, I love when my guy spends a lot of money on me when I'm like It's still your money like if you're married Absolutely like I'm like let's spend on something else Besides you just spending to like say do you feel like I feel like when you get married like Which is why I'll probably sign a prenup. I do feel like okay Whatever you make is for our family. Yeah, but whatever I make. I'll decide what we do with it I don't yeah, I feel like it's nice to have your own set of finances that you don't feel like you have to run by them. Like, oh, could we do this? It's like, no, that's you. You work

for it. You buy whatever you want for yourself. One of my girlfriends, she was married and she had a secret bank account. And she would deposit money from her paycheck every month into the secret bank account. Go for her. That like her husband didn't know about and like she'd pay taxes on it whatever but it wasn't had nothing to do with him so it was like her own, she'd file like her own separate things for it. And I was like why do you do that?

Yeah like why do you keep it secret it seems kind of sketchy. And she was like you never do you do that? You're like, why do you keep it secret? It seems kind of sketchy. And she was like, you never know. Like you never know. And I was like, wow. You really do. She's like, I also have a passport, a fake passport, $400. I'm also in the CIA. I'm like, oh my god.

I decided to get a cat. Oh my god. Like, I literally, I have been having Hannah and Sierra search for me for like the perfect cat. I want a white, short, haired cat preferably with blue eyes. Basically, I want a blonde girl with blue eyes to live in my home. But it's a cat. You guys, if you listen to a pod, you've known that I've worked very hard on this slowly, slowly brainwashing her.

Yeah. To want a cat, I would send her littlehing her. Yeah. To want a cat. I would send her little videos sometimes. Yeah. But I wasn't pushy. I wasn't pushy because she needed to think it was her own decision. And I'm very excited for you. I'm getting a cat in April.

And I couldn't be more excited. Why not? February. February, I'm traveling too much. March, I need to be like, I'm gonna say single mom. In relationship and also not pregnant, so whatever. I need to like be, I need to like mentally prepare, I feel like. And then April will start, I'm getting a cat. I want a kitten.

I love that for you. I think Sierra said not to get a kitten, but I do have to say, is it harder? Yes. Like it's like you're having a baby, but you have this like very close connection with them. And kids are so freaking cute. But they do have this thing where they like act like a full

on co-head at like 3 a.m. Kids. Yeah, well, they just run around the room like, like they get really excited. And then like 3 a.m. Yeah, well they just run around the room like they get really excited and then they'll stop. Okay, but that just like can't. Like they grow out of it? Yeah, it's just like them having like a lot of kit and energy and they like to do it at like

3 a.m. or 4 a.m. Because I feel like if you get a dog, like when you get a puppy, the puppy whoever it spends the most time with like likes them,, okay, that's like my mom, isn't the same for kitten. Like, I want it to be so obsessed with you. Your cat is gonna be so obsessed with you, but you're also going to become so obsessed with it

where your whole life is gonna be this cat, for the cat, and I'm so excited for that to happen to you. So excited. Cause I do have to say no one's ever said, I don't like cats who's had their own cat. No one. Even if your cats like actually an asshole, you still are gonna love it.

Okay. For being an asshole. I feel like it's like kids. Exactly. Exactly. Like I know my kids sucks and everyone hates it, but I love it. This petty story is wild.

I hated my college room, it's boyfriend. He was allergic to peanut butter. So if I got annoyed with him being in the room, I would just bring out my jar of peanut butter and stare at him and eat it. That is, oh my god. That is unsafe. That's a health concern. But genius. That's manslaughter. That's... Um... Ew. When I moved out of my ex's place, I took the plug, I took all the plug-in air fresheners

with me. I would take a cell phone charger. I feel like that's a good one. Yeah. If you break up with someone, just take all their chargers. Or just the like square part of it. Yeah. Just the cube.

Baked cupcakes for my cheating man, spit on them before I delivered them. That's nice. Isn't it funny how spit is so gross out of context, but in context you're like spit in my mouth Yeah, it's it's for an occasion someone says if someone pisses me off I Report their post on social media My mom said that's me one day like someone that sent her a mean thing and she's like don't worry I reported it and I'm like, don't worry, I reported it. And I'm like, I don't know where that goes.

I think that just for Instagram to like make people think it's a placebo effect. Yeah, yeah, we'll look at it. It's like, you like, I think some manager in the manager comes to like, sorry, we can't do anything and you're like, okay. Yeah, that's so true. There is no Instagram department that is like looking at these. Or they're getting them and being like, this is funny.

Yeah, there's no one whose job is to deal with the. No, yeah. I made tacos and didn't want to share with my boyfriend, so I put hot sauce on it, because he doesn't like spicy food. That's just being smart. That's just smart. Not me, but I was seeing a guy in his ex

who was at the party and stole my shoes. Oh my god. I'm always afraid that someone's gonna steal my jacket not me but I was seeing a guy in his ex was at the party and stole my shoes I'm always afraid that someone's gonna steal my jacket or steal my shoes. I'm going to small claims court I'm going to small claims court See you in fucking small claims court No literally I will see you in small claims court because what the fuck also sometimes like the nerve of that other girl She has to have balls to like like fuck this bit of Also, it's such like a Like temporary inconvenience of like an hour being like

Yeah, again the Uber without a shoe think about how mad you probably are in that in that Transport home Yeah, I got to get in the Uber without a show. Think about how mad you probably are in that transport home. Where'd she put this? She put this shit. Fucking bitch. Took my shoe. That's such bad karma, though. Obviously, it's funny. But the second I'd stole the shoe, I'd be like, there's a piano.

It's going to fall on my head. That's fucked up. Yeah, that's bad karma. It is kind of like thinking about, oh, my enemies, what do I want? It's like, I want them to have a scratchy tag in the back of their shirt always. Small inconveniences that just like- No one's gonna feel bad for you when you complain about it either. Yeah, but it's like a bubbles inside of you.

Like I want you to always have a rock in your show. Just always. Purposely spilled coffee all over the clothes at Pac-, so the bitchee girls would clean it. Oh my god. Got in a fight with my ex because his pizza looked better than mine and he wouldn't switch with me. That is the most relatable should I've ever seen. Yeah. How come pizza always looks better the other person? Like even if I have the same pizza, their pizza always looks better. Yeah. Or like sandwiches just taste better when someone else makes it for you.

Oh my god, 100%. I don't like knowing how my sausage is made, especially when I make it. Really anything you eat, it tastes better if someone else does it. Yeah, that's why I've trouble with cooking because I gross myself out. Yeah, you cook it and then you're not. By the time I'm eating it, I'm like, I can't even look at this anymore. Yeah. Wait, does Craig not eat pizza? No, Craig will eat pizza. Okay, thank God. There have been times where we also do this thing to really keep our relationship spicy, where we'll order things from Uber Eats, but we won't tell the other person what we ordered. Oh, that's so good. So then when it arrives, you're almost like surprised,

you get enough for two people, but like if you don't like it, your order orders also coming. The amount of Uber Eats you guys must get to make this like a game. It's where our paychecks go. Uber Eats were like grown up kids that are like we have money we can order whatever we want and whole surprise me with pizza a lot. Oh my god this girl said when my ex boyfriend gave me herpes and I loved him through it Because I had no reason to believe otherwise and years later. I found out he'd been sleeping with all of our town. Yeah Oh my god. Oh wow giving you herpes I would

Wait, this is really good petty shit. I found the girl my ex was cheating on me with in Venmo when I sent her 10 cents. Oh my God, people that pissed me off now I'm just gonna start Venmoing them $2. There's one of them weird amounts of money. Told my roommate I had oral herpes so she would stop putting her stuff in my drawer. Oh my God. I sold my ex's things on Facebook Marketplace and his friends had to buy it back for him. We love an entrepreneurial woman. I have a petty thing I did.

What'd you do? I was dating a guy one time and we were supposed to go away for the weekend for a wedding. And we got into a fight and he left like Friday on a Friday, the wedding's on Saturday. He left Friday night like without me. We're fighting the whole night, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

And like the middle of the night we make up. I was from the 3rd edition of Never Bowl. Anyway, that's not even the point of the story. Saturday morning I wake up. I go to him to where the wedding is. But he had forgotten his shoes for the wedding wedding and he had left them at my apartment. He texted me and he was like, can you remember to bring my shoes? And I was like, of course.

So I stared at the shoes and I was like, did I forget them? And I never brought them. And then when I got there, he was like, do you bring my shoes? And I was like, oh, oh my god, I totally forgot. He was like, page what? And I was like, oh my god, I totally forgot. He was like, page what? And I was like, oh my god, what are you gonna do? And he had to like go around town searching for shoes. That's fucking amazing.

Oh no, how are we gonna fix this? I was like, shoot, I have to get ready though. Yeah. Darn, good luck. Oh my god, that's incredible. And that's an example of like being in a relationship with someone who you hate. Absolutely. Absolutely. That is a divine example of dating being in a relationship with someone who you hate Absolutely, absolutely that is a department You love dating someone that you don't fuck with

I still here my boyfriend told me to shut up during an argument So I literally did not speak to him for four days honestly. I would do that See I'm not good at that. I wish I was better. You are really good at that. I feel like My mom's really good at that. Well, my thing is once I'm done, like I'm done, I have no energy to give, I'm not one that's gonna like, yell and text paragraphs, I'm like, once I realize I'm not into, I went on piss, I'm pissed.

Yeah, I love a good pace. Also, I hate when people say shut up or like shut the fuck up, like that's a trigger for me. Cause I like to express myself through the art of talking. I can honestly say in my past, I would say my, my, I classify my date, my adult dating after 25. Yeah. And after 25, I've had one guy tell me to shut the fuck up. Like in a fight. And he's not around anymore. No, I, I killed him. I tell me to shut the fuck up. Like in a fight.

And he's not around anymore. No, I killed him. And he's in a fridge and a basement somewhere in Albany. We did. I ever tell you remember how we were talking on the pod a couple weeks ago about how I'm definitely dyslexic. Yeah. There was like, I like fully diagnosed you in front of everyone

as dyslexic. Like a legitimate doctor. Do you have me? I was like of everyone is dyslexic. I'm a legitimate doctor, do you have me almost like you are dyslexic? All of the classic signs. And then listed like more things like do you like blah blah blah do blah blah blah and I was the best all of them. But you're pretty good at texting like some of my dyslexic friends like can't text. One of the big indicators was if someone's giving you directions before they even start giving you directions you start to get like anxious

and you're like just like tell me. If you told me how to get to somewhere that wasn't even far like just walking I can't do it. Like I must have a map. Like I can't listen to you and like do the directions. It's funny because people probably have thought in the past that like, oh maybe you're just short tempered or something, but it's like no, it's just how you understand things. That's what I think. I think my brain can't.

Took TV cable wires in a fight with my ex and cut his beat's headphones wire. Once I left a bad review on an ex's home improvement company anonymous, okay, that's good. That's really good. That's good. A strongly worded yell, perv. When Perry and I broke up,

I actively went to other pizza places and posted them on my Instagram. That's pretty petty. You knew what would get us to scan. And it's called, what's a place called? Joe's. Joe's. I think only got the only I've ever had.

Pizza I've ever had. I've grown since then. Okay, this is my favorite one. My roommate hid the remote when our other roommate was being annoying. That is incredible because not being able to find the remote is the most annoying. Like it, you can't function.

No, you can't. And you hate, you're like, you're sitting on it? Yeah. Because you're a piece of shit. That is such good advice. Just hide the remote at anyone's house who you're upset at. One day, I'm sitting in my living room, and my Roku remote wasn't working.

I was like, changing a battery, still wasn't working, whatever. You can download an app on your phone where it's the remote. So I was just doing the TV from my phone. Yes, the Roku. Then all of a sudden, it wasn't working. It kept clicking back. I'm freaking out.

For 30 seconds, I'm losing my mind. I'm like, why the fuck is this not working? Craig starts hysterically laughing. He had also downloaded the remote app. And everything I was clicking, he just click like the back button. And that's just for play. You throw your phone at the TV and break it and he's like okay it was a joke we were trying to have a flirty fun moment and you ruined it. Oh my God you guys thank you so much for giggling with us today. We are petty little gigglies and we have another show in Boston. It sold out but we're announcing

another show. Can you believe Boston gigglers are not fucking around? No and we had to we had to add another show because Boston girls are scary. Oh yeah, they're smarter than us, they're stronger than us, and they know what they want to drink way more than us. Yeah, and they'd shut it down. They'd shut it down. So we're all 1,000 percent guys, we are getting a Boston show. And okay, next episode I'm so excited, because we're going to tell you how our three shows on the West Coast

goes. How are you feeling before these shows? I feel like blacking out at my first one. Okay. Was definitely the best move. Yes, yes. So this is your first show coming up. Because I get to relive the excitement.

It's like the first time I've ever stood on stage every time. I hope there's a good bathroom for you to fall in and then just lie there for 15 minutes to get yourself together. I feel like the show's like I'm really confident in the material we have and the stuff we're going to talk about, but it's like mostly just a celebration and the energy is going to be on real.

I'm excited. I'm excited. Well, we love you guys so much. Thanks for giving. Thanks for giggling with us. We'll talk to you later. Bye.