Giggly Squad - Giggling about bloating, quitting juuling, and the Kravis wedding

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

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What is up my greatest of all time gigglers aka the goats? Wow. That was a really good one. Yeah, that was good. It's a big difference when I put in 10 seconds of preparation before the pod. Yeah, my mom says that all the time. It's crazy what you can do if you just use your brain

for a little. You just try a little. Yeah, I'm like, why would I do that? Welcome to another episode. You know, the way to never introduce ourselves. I just thought about it. Some people I don't even know what I am. People are like, hi, I'm Hannah Burner and I'm with.

Page. So I forgot my name for a second. And that's why we don't introduce ourselves because honestly it's too much to remember. What's my name? I decided to contract the other day and my assistant email me back and she said, uh, sorry, small problem, you spelled your name wrong. I was like sick. You know that SATs, you like get points for your name?

Yeah. So you lost points for your name? Yeah. So you lost points there? Probably. Also humble brag that you have an assistant. Sorry, it was actually my agent's assistant. But I didn't want to go into so much detail, but I do have an assistant.

But she doesn't know anything about contract. But she doesn't know it. I just make her do stuff. She doesn't know she works for me. OK, I just have to get to it. I wrote artichokes down. Yeah. People don't talk about artichokes enough. Okay.

It is the most underrated thing to get in an Italian restaurant. How are you getting them prepared? Thank you for asking breaded with olive oil. Okay, so you're the kind that you like put on your mouth and you. Basically, you use the artichoke as a vehiclet. Yeah. For the bread. For the bread and the olive oil.

And it's magnificent and no one talks about it. Okay, I will only get it prepared that way. I don't like when they like fry it and it's like shriveled up and it's almost like a chip. No, absolutely not. Then it turns into like, you might as well eat kale. Does that have anything to do with the other thing you wrote down on the list about shitting yourself? Or is that a completely different story?

Okay, let's get into it. It doesn't have to do with it, but an artichoke could make me shit myself. Anything really could make you shit yourself. Honestly, a strong breeze can make you shit myself. Yeah, I was just gonna say, gust of wind right to the stomach, you're shitting on the street. The worst part about getting married was for like four days. I was like, what is gonna cause me to like blow and be

horrible and shitting myself? Cause you can't be like shitting and peeing the whole time with these wedding dresses. Did you have a nervous pee? Some people like before they walked down the aisle, they get like a nervous pee. And you before shows, you have to take a nervous poop. Did you have one before the wedding?

Abs of fucking Lutley. It's like they get your dress all perfect. So I'm like, wait, can I take this off real quick and throw it on the floor? I did my nervous pee. Also, right before him, I got like kind of light headed because I realized I had an E in. Yeah, you did.

And they had these like turkey rolls and I was just showing my face of turkey rolls before I went down the aisle. So like all day I was preparing to like not like blow dead. And then I was like you, you're mine, buddy. With sodium. Yeah.

I was like it's turkey, it's healthy. And my mom was just rolling her eyes. It's also like you're there. You're walking down the aisle. What it's gonna like. What's gonna go through me pretty fast. Pretty fast, let's be honest. But one thing that models do besides put one foot

in front of the other, which is impressive, is they constantly have to make sure they're not bloating. But I'm like an abnormal bloater. Like I'll bloat and people will ask me when I'm do Okay, do you know that that's not normal? Like like okay, it's normal if you have a lactose problem, but you might have like an actual I think I make I be sure I think I have IBS and you could also have something more serious than IBS What yeah like I don't want to freak you out I know you could also have something more serious than IBS. What?

Yeah, like I don't wanna freak you out. But like you could, I am a doctor of course. Okay, web mp. Like you have cancer. I agree. You could have like endometriosis. One of the major signs is that you bloat after everything you eat.

This is the thing. I'm tired all the time. I'm bloated all the time. Is that just me? Or do I have endometriosis? Cause I've stabilized. Are you just a sleepy body positive girl? Like I don't know.

Or do you have a problem? Oh my God. Does your bloat hurt? Sometimes. Okay, I don't know the answer to something. It didn't actually go to mental school. I feel like I'm 30 and by this age, I should know what triggers me bloating, but honestly, it could be anything.

I think it's anxiety, and that's why. Interesting. Because IBS could be triggered by anxiety. But then I have friends who have IBS and they're on these strict diets. They're like, yeah, I don't eat cheese, I don't eat that. And I'm like, so you don't have crazy bloats. You don't like balloon.

Is we eating a bar of jokes? No, I mean, I feel like I bloat when I eat a lot of dairy, but it's when I eat mac and cheese, then pizza, then more pasta. And I only really bloat when I eat a lot of dairy, but it's when I eat mac and cheese, then pizza, then more pasta, and I only really bloat when I have my period. If I didn't bloat, I'd be worried. I've wanted to know, because I've like everyone has that story

of if they've shot themselves before. Have you ever shot yourself in public? I don't know if everyone has a story about shitting themselves. Have I ever shipped myself? The fact that you're taking so long to answer means you have. No, I know. I would say.

You never started. It's a shit fart. You think you're going to fart and shit comes out. No. And then he glows at just our place out. I have peed the bed before, like not out. I had peed the bed before like not No, like just legit peed the bed. I was in college, but I wasn't like hungover I didn't like drink a dream you were born. I have no idea and I woke up and I just had like peed the bed

So does that count? No, have you shit like on the street? In a bodega? Like in the bathroom? No. Like in the frozen food. It was like, I said, it was like, I was sitting eating like a bacon egg and cheese as one does. And I went to like, far and it came out wet and I was wearing yoga pants. And

it like I stuck right to it. I felt it like and you didn't wear it wearing underwear. I was. Okay. So I went in the bathroom. Is this why you wear granny panties? Yes. A granny pantie put on talk about it. It will trap it. It trapped it. Who were you with? Alone. So I went to the bathroom. And of course, the second you go into the bathroom to do something important. Well, wait, are you one of those people that can go

and sit somewhere and eat by yourself and not feel weird? Love eating by myself. Wow. Love it. Good for you. I love to like fully enjoy the food and not feel judged while I'm eating.

I don't think I've ever sat anywhere alone and ate something. It's my favorite thing to do. Have you ever gone to the movies by yourself? No, not loser. Okay, so back to you shitting in a bow jing. Oh yeah, back to me. You know whenever you go to the bathroom when you need a couple moments in the bathroom, immediately people start knocking.

Yeah. So people are knocking. Yeah. So people are knocking. I take my yoga pants off. I take my grand in panties off. I throw them away. I put water on like any soiled parts of the yoga pants. I put it back on.

And I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And then I told myself it happens to everyone. That's why I asked it to you today to make me feel better. But you told me that I'm a bloated shitting little fuck. And I now feel worse than that for- I just- She's like, once I kind of peed my bed at tiny bit, I just don't think people are running around shitting. What do you think you are? I love you overshot yourself.

No. Okay, objection? Adjection? I have. Thank you. Where? Okay, that, anything under 10, not liable for. But it traumatized you?

No, because he was a trial. You're right. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. Anything under 10, not liable for. But it traumatized you?

No, because he was a trial. Well, you don't know how it traumatized you, but it did. Right, out of diapers. You haven't processed it. You haven't healed yet. Oh my god. Who'd you tell besides everyone just now? I don't think I told does.

I mean, because it was pre-wedding. Yeah, this is what happens after the wedding. He's gonna start figuring out some shit. Literally. What do you think it was? I was just, I had it like, I was trying to be a hero and I thought that I could fart when I couldn't. I do have a story.

What did you do? The first time I ever smoked a cigarette, like ever in my life, I think I was like in college and everyone was like doing it. And I took one puff, immediately had to run to the bathroom to ship myself. Okay wait, does it cause you to poop? Yeah, I think so, because I'd like never- The adrenaline. I don't know if it's the adrenaline or just like pure tar heroin that they like fucking put in cigarettes,

that I just was like, I have to shit immediately. I mean, I kept it inside my body until, but it was like a near-jaffee experience. That's like the one time I did cocaine, and I immediately got a nosebleed. No! No! That's like the one time I did cocaine and I immediately got a nosebleed. We just can't do substances. Someone forced me.

I won't say who. Somebody forced me to check cocaine for the first time. And you just need to be at the media. Like I was like hanging and then I just... Honestly, I feel like our moms would be really proud. Or they'll be like losers. They can't even do coke and smoke sags. But that must be why how people who smoke cigarettes

in like France stay so skinny, they're just shitting all the time. Yeah, but when I heard like Johnny Depp smoke all the time, I was like, hmm, like show me the hottest dude. Wait, they said that on the trial. He's constantly smoking sags. He's on like hand-rolled tobacco. Like he's always smoking sags.

You would think that Johnny Depp is from like the countryside of France. Yeah. This man's from, where's he from? I think like the Midwest. Oh my god. Kentucky? No way. No way.

This is Kentucky and then goes, I don't know. Wait, can you Google that Pat because if this man actually has a Southern accent, I'll lose my mind. Like he had one of the now, he's like the Madonna of male actors where you don't know, he's not human. You don't know where he's from, he just came out that way. Kentucky. That is insane.

You get a raise. That's insane. I want to get early on dope documentaries, slash some pop culture, because we have to get in the John and I. Because then I've Amber heard trials. But I also have much to say about the cravis wedding. Oh my God.

OK, we have so much to cover. Sorry for that quick poop story. Poop story. Every pod needs one. Just warm when you go to the- Don't feel bad about shitting on the street today. Yeah, it happens to me. So I watch a documentary by The New York Times about

Jouling. OK. It's the same, it's called, the ones I did framing Britney Spears, it's like in that same series. And it's about how Joule was founded. Do you know anything about the history of it? No. These two really smart dudes in college

were supposed to invent something that makes something that's already out there better. Okay. And the guy, like, he had family that passed out. Like things that killed people. Yeah, let's do that one. So, like, lung cancer was in his family and he really was passionate about making smoking better for you,

like making it less bad. And they make it infinitely worse. So, that was not the OG plan. Okay. They were actually like mother Teresa, we're gonna help people stop smoking these cigarettes and smoke a better option. Okay. But when people were hitting it,

there wasn't enough nicotine in it. Okay. So they started adding some more nicotine and they added the flavors. And the next thing you know, the experience got so fucking good and then they started getting people wanting to invest in it. And then next thing you know, big tobacco invests in them, gives them billions of dollars. So like they started off like wanting to do well and then turned into...

Do they still own it? One of the guys left and the other guys on the board, but basically big tobacco's running it now. And they also are getting under a lot of heat because they didn't market to kids, but they didn't not market to kids. Right. And they were like, did not expect

that kids were gonna love it so much. And like millions of kids are smoking Jewels so like middle school kids are smoking When like a couple years ago they had gotten smoking in middle school to like nothing and now it's just spiked My experience with that like I was 25 when jewels came out and My experience was if there were clubs that you could smoke cigarettes in, where people doing it, yes.

But cigarette smoke always used to make me so nauseous and also make me shit myself. So I was just like not a big cigarette girl. And then when people would be out and you'd be at a bar, you'd just be like, oh, hit this. Like, it's just nicotine. It's like nothing else. And then you get addicted. And I smoked, I mean, it's probably the number one thing my mother hates about me the most that I smoked for years. And as of last week, I started the nicotine patches. So that's actually what they recommended for people to get off Jeweling because people in the company just were like we quid the company because

we don't like we realized we're working for Big Tobacco now and that wasn't the initial cause. So they're doing a Cateen gum and patches to get off. Because it is disgusting and I quit not only because it's just like so gross but it's totally ageing me. So I was like, wow, I had to get to a vein point. Well, I think to quit. For this, I know for your skin and stuff, it can't be good to have like, but if you have anxiety,

like because I am again a web MD doctor, like if you have really bad anxiety, you're more prone to becoming addicted to things because it's like a crutch or you lean on it. It's a soothing, it's a soothing. And I was never like a big drinker where it was like if I drink one day, like hell no, am I drinking the next day,

but people would become like alcoholics if you have bad anxiety because you like crutch on it. And mine became that. Can we do this together? Because I feel like there are definitely gigglers out there and we love you. Who were like you, who weren't smokers, somehow started julying and it was cool. And then your style. If you've been waiting for a sign to quit, page just quit. You ordered it on like Amazon. Some nicotine patches, nicotine gum. My mom would go,

I'm gonna put nicotine gum in every Christmas in my stockings since I was 25. Did she really? She was like, please stop. You're killing me. What does it feel like to be addicted to something? It's different because like, it's not, okay, so it's not like you're addicted to like heroin

where you're like one bad thing and like, it's not. It wasn't ruining your life. It wasn't ruining my life, but it's like, it's hard as a younger, like someone in their early 20s to think like, wow, in 20 years, like my lungs probably just gonna go into explode. Like you can't think in that mindset.

And then now that I'm about to be 30, and I'm like, should I get Botox? And then it's like, well, no, you're, I'm probably gonna need it earlier because of this fucking thing. And it's just like gross. Like it's a turn off. Yeah.

It started to become a real turn off to me. It's when other people did it. No, just like watching myself, like knowing it was always in my pocket or like knowing like, fuck, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and like hit this because I can't like hit it in front of whoever I'm with. Yeah, you know when you're hiding something that like you're self, you're deep down, you know it's wrong.

Yes. Was, even like, yeah, you're subconscious of telling you. If you can't do it in front of your grandma and you feel bad about it You whatever it is depends on your grandma my grandma's pretty hip. Yeah, but I like what that I don't think your grandma would like Knowing I smoked a jewel she would not because she cares about skin more than anything But they showed this like 14 year old girl who like she their bodies I don't think can handle the amount of smoke smoke. And she basically said she was having trouble breathing.

Their lungs are fucking caving in. Because you're not even fully developed. No. So I. So if you're looking for a sign to quit, get the next thing. Let's do it together. Gagler is getting off-jewel. Gagler is getting off drugs.

Say you know what a drug. So you know what a drug. So you know what a jewel is. Don't do drugs by rugs. That's your new Amazon show. That's your new home decor Amazon show. Yeah, I just came up with that. Can we talk about the Johnny's up, Amber, her trial? Yeah.

I was very, very into it the first week or two whatever they took a week off. And now I'm getting back on, do you have any thoughts? I feel like it's turned into a star-studded event. Kate Moss is about to appear. This documentary is going to be epic. The number one thing I'm taking away from it is Johnny Depp is such an interesting person

because they had a recording of him saying to her, like you will never be able to look me in the eyes ever again. And it was like the last time they ever spoke. And he has not once looked at her during the trial. The like, composure and self, what is the word? Control. Yes, that he has is insane. Well, some people are saying he's the victim

because he can't look at his abuser. And then some people are saying that he's super controlling, that he's still controlling how everything's going wrong. So there is that like, the world is just a great actor and he's now in this role of like, the support actors. They're both actors, but we,

everyone can agree that these motherfuckers were anotoxic situation. I think they're both nuts. Like there's no way dating Johnny Depp wasn't nuts. This is turning into reality TV where like, if you go deep into anyone's past relationships like that ended badly, you're gonna hear some weird shit. Some bucked up shit. You're gonna hear the like, imagine if people recorded phone calls of fights you've had?

Oh god. I mean, that's what we did on TV, but it's like, yeah, it doesn't make sense. Here's the other thing I will say. As you get older, do you ever look back into relationships and you're just like, yes, that was crazy, but you kind of give yourself like, okay, but I was 22. Like I would never do that now. Oh, for sure, because you are learning what relationships are, and you're learning your boundaries,

and you're learning what you can and cannot handle from people, and what kind of disrespect you tolerate. So, like, I know that I definitely, if someone recorded, like, my phone calls with the guy I dated from at, like, 23, I would look like an absolute psychopath. That's why when they play the recordings, I'm like, oh, this is fucked. Like, this is fucked. Yeah, but they're trying to get a sense of like right and wrong when It's honestly the trial. It's it's tough. It's going down to the wire of what's gonna happen

But I do think we'll also Johnny Depp's lawyers are just like so much better than Amber hurts Johnny's depths lawyers People are trying to say the Camille and Johnny Depp are fucking, which we hate just because the girls hot and powerful does not mean she's fucking her client. She's definitely not. No. But also how great would that be for the documentary? That would be for the documentary.

We'll subscribe, I watch that. Mental health moment. I saw something on TikTok that you reminded me of. OK. Women are taught to give respect before they get it and men are taught to wait till they get respect before they give it. Spot on. Write it on my tombstone. It's not fucking crazy. Yeah. Because it's so true. It's so true. And I feel like you don't realize it until you're like a working woman, like out of college. Mm-hmm. Oh for sure.

Because you're not around people who are your friends who understand you, who respect you, you're just with people and you see how you need to earn respect in every room you go into. Right. And if you don't immediately respect someone, yeah, because you have a bad vibe from like a dude or something, that doesn't go well for you.

That is like my number one, like talking point for all girls high school. Like every time I say I went to an all girls high school, they're like, oh my God, are you so crazy where you such a slap, blah, blah, blah. That's beside the point. Not the point. Not the point.

Okay. Not the point. The number one thing. I didn't think you were gonna go that way. Can we give blow jobs? Heck yeah, we can. But. What do you think our seminars are about?

What do you think our homework is? Think in class suspension was just fucking around all day? No, we were learning things. No, but I think like the number one thing from an all girls high school that you learn that you don't realize you're learning while you're in high school is that there's no men around. So like you don't even think about it. So like leadership roles in high

school, you're not competing against guys. If you're raising your hand you get it wrong, you're not like embarrassed because Jenny next to you who's like stuffing your face with like chips gives a fuck that you got it wrong. So right when you get to college and you're with guys, like you don't think that you're less than them for like a specific role in school or like if you get the answer wrong, like you're not thinking about Jeremy who like can't read.

When men are in the positions of power and they get to choose which, who they respect, then you start seeing like oh shit I need to like either suck up to these dudes. Yeah, like oh you're not just not picking me because I'm a girl like fuck you Oh my god, I was great. What was constant athletics I got this job to do sports broadcasting for a little bit. You can literally Google Hannah burner badgers I'm just gonna ruin your day. Wait someone came up to me to me the other day was like I'm from Wisconsin at the same time we just said go badger wait what and I was like you know anywhere in the country if someone's wearing

like a badger thing you're like cool badgers yeah so I was working the basketball thing and like I come from a family of basketball like my grandpa was a basketball coach I don't know you guys from basketball I'm from Brooklyn it's like we're we're basketball originated like my grandpa used a basketball coach. I didn't know you guys were basketball family. I'm from Brooklyn. It's like we're basketball originate. But my grandpa used to coach basketball in schools in Brooklyn. So anyway, I was born around it. And I sit down and the game's going. They let I clearly qualified in some way to get the job.

These men are baby talking to me like, so when he scores this and he scores that, that means it's a double, double. And I'm like, yeah, I got it. I got it. And this goes on the whole game. Are you a freshman? No, I'm a senior. I'm a senior. But I was like, interning at like, where people actually work.

But, um, the, oh my god. And then when I went into like, marketing, the meetings, I would say something, and a guy would literally just repeat it to the boss who was a guy, it would have all the time. But anyway, long so short, if you're at your job and you're...quit-dooling and quick giving respect to men. That's why I think people look down on only fans because it's a woman-dominated business. Page, why do you think people look down on influencers? That influencers, why did I have trouble saying that influencers have truck like a lack of respect

that it's not a real job because it's female dominated. I know for a fact, for a fact, anyone I've dated previously makes up maybe one. I make more money than for sure. Like there's just no, I don't even need to run the numbers. I've run them in my head. Do you, do you want to be with a guy who makes more than you though? As I get older, I don't care as much. I think it becomes, what is the question. I think it becomes less of the

actual money and more of like where he is in his field and how passionate he is and what he does. Right. Like it's not that I want everything to fall on me financially. No, no, no, no. But I if he does make less than me. Like but I need I needed to just be like equal. Yeah. But I needed to just be equal. Yeah, well, you wanna feel like you both are bringing something to the table. Yeah, that we're both trying to make our lives easier. Exactly, and you don't wanna feel indebted to them

or they feel indebted to you, but you also don't wanna feel like, or you wanna be with a guy who's, I'd rather be with a guy who's so fucking proud of you. You're making less money than a guy who's like I'd rather be with a guy who's so fucking proud of you. Yeah. Making less money than a guy who's like almost making as much money, but like is weirdly amassculated by it. Correct. I feel like we're getting to the advice segment.

I feel like we're naturally there. I haven't seen you since the wedding, so this is a fun little catch. Okay, let's do advice, and then I'm literally busting out the seams for Kravis. I know. I'm making people wait. Okay. This girl says, this is so shallow, but I absolutely hate the photo my boyfriend uses

for every single social. Tell him. Tell him. Just tell him. I've done to des. I've literally taken a phone. Because you want to know what? He's not going to be offended by it, because he doesn't know.

He has no idea. He has no idea. He just liked that shirt he was wearing that day. He threw that picture out. He doesn't know. Yeah, des has like all these gorgeous professional photos of himself. And then he picked a cell. In the moment, he did the selfie at the beach.

And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, he's one of those people that when they give you the option, I don't really did it. I really didn't. But it looked like he did. But sometimes guys don't know what photos look good. Here's the other thing, they don't care because they don't have the things

running through their heads that we do. Like any picture we post, it gets literally the shit torn apart. Like, guys don't get that. No one's commenting on guys' photos and being like, really? That's real? Are you serious?

Maybe you could shave your face before you take a photo. You don't even have fashion sense, that's what you wore. Somebody hasn't been using the face mask. Do you even use an eye cream? Doesn't look like it. Or it's either people that are- Oh, and you're kind of nose jump! Like you're aging?

Oh my god, you look so bad. Or then the comment below is enough Botox. And you're like, which one is it? I do have a lot more people come for your looks than me. I don't know if it's because you're so pretty. Thank you. Or because people know that you're in the business of fashion, so they come for the thing that I like.

For the most. Because people come for me for comedy. Because they know that's what I care about. Where they told me that's a bad joke. I'd come for me for like comedy. Yeah. Because they know that's like what I care about. So they're like, Where have they told me like that's a bad joke? I'd be like, yeah, okay. Yeah, who cares? I was trying.

But it is, that's the thing that trolls are good at. They're like a little brother. They pinpoint your insecurity and then they write you about it. It's so funny. Once someone said I looked like I ate myself after, I had a bloaty day. I was like, at home. You were like, I just shit myself in a bow day go. Okay How dare you you don't know what someone's going through okay

And X made bad comments about my appearance. How do I stop thinking about it? Girlie you're normal because a guy once told me in third grade I had elf ears, and I still don't show my ears. I still wear my hair down every day because of that man. So, oh my gosh. What I tell myself is like my fiance, my husband. Oh my god, that's your first husband drop. Yeah.

Yeah, I sound so old. Anyway, but being all this good guys, we're normalizing. Oh my god, you have a husband. Oh, you don't have a husband? Oh, sorry, you don't have a husband. You got it. So, oh yeah, he loves me for my elf ears.

You think they're adorable. You think they're adorable. Years though. When I was younger, I had the same size ears and smaller heads. So I looked like, or like a bloom in. I think you're going to just put your hair back and they were going to be pointy. They're not. They like come out a little.

That's because you keep putting your hair behind your ears all the time. OK, mom. You could literally. But like, for example, the hair you're wearing right now, I'd be self-conscious about my ears. Got it. Which is a lot to go on stupid. But that's because in third grade.

Also, my crush in fourth grade, told me I have man arms, I still wear, I know you guys are like, how do you're so confident you're so amazing, I know. I'm wearing, I don't like showing my- Also, with this X, it's the same thing as that we just said about trolls. They pinpoint your insecurity.

So he, whatever he said to you, he probably doesn't even think, but he knows that you think it. Also an X, who I know for a fact, is still in love with me and very attracted to me, told me he's not attracted me anymore. Soch, a lie. Such a liar.

Crazy. You're just that because I have a husband. OK. But for someone to say something that means to you, it's also like, oh, then why would you be with someone that you think is so ugly? Right. Like, what's that say about you?

That you just go around dating ugly girls. What a loser. But think about it. Trolls say something that they think you're insecure by. Not that they necessarily think. Right. So like he's definitely knows that you're insecurity and stated it. Right. What's your biggest physical and security right now? I don't really have blood right now. I'm going Instagram later that you would have. Let me post a picture and all you know what it is. Is it girls mostly commenting or guys?

I rarely get guys commenting on my appearance. It's pretty much girls. If a guy does do what he DMs me, he at least has the courtesy to make a private. I say thank you so much for that. Yeah, because he knows that he'll get destroyed if he says it publicly, but private. I also have a lot of people saying that I've actually had so much plastic surgery done, and that's why I could slightly be pretty, but I just don't admit it. And I'm like, but if you think I wouldn't try and get that shit for free, you do that on me.

That's crazy. But I'm making a brand deal out of that. You don't know me. I do feel like me and you have dealt with jealousy in our lives, but I've never dealt with it because I'm so pretty, which makes me question everything. Like to go through life and you see what people target you for is what people are more jealous of. Yeah. For me, it's my amazing personality.

Anyway, um, interning, oh this is for you. Interning in New York City Law office this summer. Remember what? When we went to Boston and they thought you were there for the Harvard convention. Okay, gigglers don't know this, but if you want to robust and show you too, I checked into the hotel. In my hotel, I've never been so offended. In my hotel, there happened to be a Harvard alumni conference happening.

And I checked into the hotel and they said, Mr. Sorbo, thank you so much for checking in. Are you here for the Harvard alumni conference? And I said, how dare you think I'm ugly? She goes, I'm not fucking nerd. But also part of me was flattered because I was like, I do have a fashion sense and I am smart, you're so right. But now- Only if it was L Woods vibes. Anyway, this girl definitely smarter than us wants to know from you. Nothing about anything important, but what flat shoes can I rock in the office and at happy hour? What flat shoes can you rock in the office and at happy hour?

Because it's not in New York. I would go kit and heal. Yeah. I would do the classic New York City shoes and then you change you can even like when I worked an office, I would keep shoes in my desk drawers. No files, no paperwork. Nope, no pen. I did have a plethora of pens to be found. I actually really like the Ken Hill heels I wore. They're like square, they're open toad. Is open toad not cool for like law firm?

I would say no. One shoe that I love, and you could probably find a knockoff, and it's too hot for the summer, but like the Prada chunky loafers. I think that would be very cute for an office. For a law firm moment, are you kidding me? Loafers are really big. It's hard to like match a good outfit

that's work appropriate with loafers, but I think if you're doing like a trouser situation and a kitten heel or a skirt with loafers and like some kind of high socks. I don't know, men make everything sexual and you're like I'm literally wearing a loaf. Okay, and that is their problem. Right. That is them. I know. But it is a double standard, but it's something like we have to live with. We live with them. Why do people overshare on social media, but don't confide in their friends in real life? Because they just want attention from strangers. And they're lying. I, that was really hard. I think that when you're an oversharer on Instagram, it's actually the opposite.

Like you feel the masses, like telling like a mass amount of people, gets it out for you, but you're not actually getting it out to one person. You're not trying to solve the problem. Right. You just want to be heard. You just want to be heard. That's why you will never catch me crying on Instagram stories.

There are two types of people. Cryers on Instagram and not cryers. Yeah. Yeah, I could, I would, could never. I could never. I don't have the emotional. Something also like makes it less authentic to me when you, in that moment, are instead of crying, I need to film myself.

Right. I have been on Instagram stories after a full cry, but you would never know. full cry, but you would never know. Someone did DM me the other day. They're like, you're either high as hell, or you just cried. And I was like, it is the latter, but I do wish it was the former. It is, you know, like a brand wants something from you. And they're like, it's two and three hours.

And you're like, okay. I love this pill. It's true, fuck. Also what's hard about being a woman in society and not crying all the time, is you have to look presentable for things where men don't even think about in comedy. I have to do my hair and makeup for the hour and a half

beforehand where men are working on their jokes. Right. How, how is that fair? In the hours that I've been doing my makeup, men are just preparing for the show at hand. Honestly, even think about your wedding day. Oh my, we started getting ready at 11 a.m. We started getting ready at 10 a.m. Des was in a hot tub at like three.

Yeah. He showered like right before. Isn't that crazy? And he looked better than me. He gave one thing men have to get ready for. He was like, I was like, do you guys want to go check on him? I told like the photographer. They came back like, we have no idea where he is.

I think he's like getting a sandwich at the deli or something. Yeah. We've lost him. Definitely words you want to hear on your wedding day. We've lost his. One thing we hear on your wedding day. We've lost desks. One thing we did on the wedding day. You guys you knew how to go and bring it up eventually. We didn't even text good morning that day. Wow. Like he didn't text me. He's normally the one who who will and I was like, oh, either he's. Did he give you like, did

he write you like a letter or anything while you're getting ready? Like, he didn't do anything. A letter writing. No. He was like, maybe I'll be there, maybe I won't. It was honestly. He was like hard to get. Yeah, it was toss-out.

I was in here. I was in here like, are we going? I was in here a couple hours and I was like, oh, so we're not talking. And someone texted both of us like a photo, and I responded and he responded also, but not like to each other. And I was like, okay okay so he's alive.

He's alive. He jumped in the ocean. Did you imagine actually having your wedding and like the person not showing up? Yes. How often do you think that happens? I actually can't imagine it because you live your life in such like a, and now we do this and now we do this. And the world kind of just pushes you towards things and then you're're like, holy fuck, I'm getting married, is this what I want?

It's actually much easier to just like freak out right before than to like maturely break up with someone. Wow. I would love to know if there's any gigglers that have literally been jilted or have like jilted someone. How jilted themselves. I think that there's no shame in leaving your wedding on the wedding day. No shame.

I mean, I do know people who like, these weddings are so expensive. Yeah. Like they had everyone go to India for this wedding and the groom or the bride. I forget which one was like we're not doing it. I've had people like be like, should I just go through with the wedding and deal with it after or should I break up with him now?

Yeah, and they've chosen to like end it now smart. Yeah smart because yeah We pull it's your wedding people are not gonna be upset like I didn't get free drinks If you're at the wedding now and the brighter groom doesn't show up to the ceremony. Oh, no. No, no, no No, do you go to the Sarah Mona. No, no, no, no. No. Do you go to the reception now? There's absolutely. Absolutely.

They already paid for the open bars. Absolutely. I'm literally telling all my friends to get on hinge, hit up every hot guy in the place, and be like, let's fucking go, get some strippers. I'm single. Yeah. I'm single and right in the middle tonight.

I'm fucking tonight. Just for the drama, I want to be invited to a wedding where some fuck shit happens. We asked our judge, our officiant. They don't do the whole, does anyone have any... Yeah. Anything to say. They don't do that anymore.

He's like, that's just movies. And I was like, you can use that drama, but... Yeah. We're a pro. I don't think I would want. Because I have asshole friends. Like, someone, you can use that drama, but. Yeah, we're pretty good. I don't think I would want. Because I have asshole friends. Like someone, you would stand up, be like, just kidding.

Yeah, my wedding was so rowdy. The rowdyest wedding I've ever been to. It was like a playoff game. Dude, I was scared. The crowd was so hot. Doesn't my wife went to the green room. And we were like, that crowd is hot. They'll laugh for a minute, Patrick.

And then Mercedes apparently fell yeah, and then went on to she was like filming in the back Just yelling but everyone else was yelling too. How do you feel about the Instagram? I know that does was like hey We're not like gonna post anything. How did you feel that we all did Projecting it you guys did amazing, but I had to say I wasn't on my phone really, so I didn't get to see all the ones that people tagged me in. Yeah. Because it was nice that I could have been on my phone all night looking at everything. Yeah, because then I'd be like reposting stuff and yeah, in it I didn't see any of it,

but like we have the professional photos. Yeah. The ones that were really good, my people were like sending me. Yeah. The fact that Nima got the video of you catching the bouquet. We are forever indebted to him. You almost ate shit. I know. I shouldn't have told you that. Nobody's not talking. Nobody's talking about it now.

People didn't really, some people noticed, some people were like, we saw you almost fall. And I was like, but I- Well, people were on a full sprint. And that had to stop. The athleticism that took over my body. With heels on, body also she was browning out at that point fully browned out which use was that I was wearing like a full yeah you had a slubby slide moment

and if you if I had fallen i mean america's funniest home videos it would have actually been great for the pod not for me personally in my like self-esteem. That's like where people were messaging me. They were like whoever says you guys don't get the pod out on time, right after you're wedding weekend, you guys did it. They're like, you're amazing. I'm like, no, I have a very unhealthy work life balance. Someone commented and was like, doesn't even count. They like cheated and like, ew and all

of this. And some giggler was like, fuck off. It's from the podcast. That's the point. Yeah. You don't get our high brow humor. How do you hand the way we pivot? How do you handle over stimulation, been struggling at home and work lately? Don't leave the home. Don't leave the home. Is that over struggle with over simulation? Well, I'm still in my full depression and anxiety mode and so I can't be stimulated by anything other than Netflix. It's funny because when I went to a comedy festival, was the only time I've ever been at an event,

loving the simulation and loving socializing with people, it's because I was on this like high. Because it's what you was honest like high. Because it's what you like to do. I like to do. Yeah, it's like, if you liked animals, let's say, and you were in a place with a ton of puppies, you'd be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But when you're sensitive to energy is, think about how bad that room would smell about.

When you're sensitive to energies, like when you go outside New York City, you're getting a lot of shit Here's a thing though about New York City It's like the most congested city that it's so easy to feel like you're alone I don't mean that in like a drug like I'm so alone like I don't mean it in that way I mean like yeah, you don't feel like people around yeah, you can be around a ton of people not one person is like It's the only city that you can straight up cry on the street, not one person's looking at you. I'm like, do you want to ask? Do you want to ask if you're okay?

Everyone is just like, honestly, can't wait for my next cry. That's why everyone's shitting on the street. No one cares. Including myself, including me. That's why I'm doing it. No one cares. Oh God.

So yeah, if you're feeling overstimulated, I mean, you could look into ADD stuff. I probably definitely have ADD. I'm overstimulated by this conversation. My best advice is to do like a self-care thing. And I don't mean like sit and like light a candle and like meditate and do a face mask. Like not that type of self-care. I was feeling really overwhelmed the other day.

And I turned on like my Netflix show, turned my phone off, sat on my bed and reorganized all my drawers. And that was like the most self-care moment I felt productive when it was like something stupid, but it was like just me alone with like- Do you find there's moments where you like can't do anything? Like you can't brush your teeth, like you can't. Yeah. Because that's how I feel.

That's your depression. My depression is like, at nighttime, I'm like, I can't even go to brush my teeth and like do my face. Like, I'm just like, fall asleep on the couch and done. And I have moments of the day where I'm super productive, like way too productive to then like, I couldn't do anything.

This is actually very interesting. So Craig's dad, I was with him the other weekend and he was talking about some book he's reading. They'll remember the name, but he was saying that if you're like indecisive, when you have a decision to make, you say one, two, three in your head and then you just make the decision. Like there's no second guessing. So recently when I was like, okay, you have to watch your face before bed, but it was like I was like, I can't get up. I just said one, two, three and I got up and I did it. Okay, that's what people say about your mornings.

Like all you have to do is just do it. Yeah. But like when you're depressed, that's not good advice. You'd be like, just do it. Yeah, just do it. Just do it. But someone I watched a TikTok about someone saying the difference between really successful people

and people who don't wanna be that successful is decision-making, that successful people, whether it's right or wrong, or just making the decision where other people will stay idle for as long as they're successful. I also saw one that it was like, they wake up at 4 a.m. And I was like, fuck off. Absolutely not. But yeah, I thinkm. and I was like absolutely not. Absolutely not.

But yeah, I think for me I have to find things. I find you pretty decisive though. Oh no, I'm very decisive. Yeah. I just can't do basic tasks in the house. Higher someone. You're a wife now. You can literally hire help.

I do think that I am, because as kid, now it's full therapy mode, but because as a kid, I was forced to like play so much more. And have such a routine. And have such a routine. Like that's all I knew, like I had a career, that now I like get off on being like, I'm not even gonna clean that.

When it's like, no, you're actually just hurting yourself. I get that stuff. Like that's my rebellion. Even Des was like, let's play volleyball tomorrow. And I played like two games, I'm like, I'm done. And that's my rebellion. Yep even Deswell's like let's play volleyball tomorrow And I played like two games. I'm like I'm done And he's like really I'm like I have a force to play sports my whole life without ever being able to know And he's like this is a weird kink you have because he's like why would you want to stop and I'm like cuz that cuz I can't yeah It's just you being able to make the decision like other people probably don't feel that free to be like

Yeah, I'm not gonna watch a dishes today But for me, I'm like, yeah, third game of volleyball. I don't think so But anyway, it does has been making me play volleyball during our honeymoon Which I like also we fostered a dog for a honeymoon. Wow Her name is Molly and oh the white one. She's kind of an angel. I saw her on the Instagram She's a literal angel All she wants to do is lie next to you and get pet so great. She's all buyer She's amazing because your schedule. I don't think it's good

But you guys if you're a New Yorker long Island She's like the dog that's everyone's favorite at the shelter They let her sit in the front and all the dogs are like are like, what is it like? She's like six or seven. Okay. She's from the south. She was just like living outdoors, like chained up. And she has like little marks on her elbows from like lying down on the hot ground.

Oh my God. No, she's been like abused. She is the sweetest baby I've ever met. What kind of dog is that? She's like a lap with maybe a mix of something else, but she looks like a white lab with a little, she's so freaking cute, but she's the dog that they let her sit

with the secretaries in the front and all of the dogs are in the kennels. Cause, and dogs are, Yeah, the dogs are crazy. How many weeks are you fostering it? We were gonna do just a week, but now cause I came to the city and does a staying back with her, we might do two weeks, but our goal is to get her adopted.

And- How quickly did people adopt? It could happen in a second. Yeah, but- Like you could have it for a day. Oh yeah. Yeah. But we're still looking for someone to adopt Molly.

If you want a couch potato, but she also loves walking, and she slept on me all day the other day. I love that. She watched a genre. How did Romeo feel about it? Romeo's in the city with Aiden. OK. But that's the thing.

Everyone keeps saying, you guys have to keep her when I'm like, we can't. We literally have two pets that do not fuck with other pets. Yeah. Romeo does not like other dogs. But her doesn't know what the fuck's going on. But her is not OK.

She's like, we didn't like dogs. Now all of the sudden, we host them at our home. We don't have a wedding. Butter is doing all the fostering. Some of them, she'd be tough. Butter has had it. Butter's had it and she's actually disgusted. Yeah.

She's like, cool, you got married. I wasn't there. Yeah, she's not happy about that. Okay, final one. I have a crush on a guy who has a toxic past. He's not with his ex anymore, who's not happy about that. Okay, final one. I have a crush on a guy who has a toxic pass. He's not with his ex anymore. Who's also toxic? There's layers here. Yeah, wait start from the beginning. I have a crush on a guy who has a toxic pass. What does that mean? I need that broken down. He's probably had a really toxic relationship with someone. Okay, who has that? And he's blamed, he's probably told her,

his ex is also toxic. So it's basically like, if you wanted to date Johnny, Johnny heard, Johnny Depp. I think that if you're in a toxic relationship, whether like, okay, he could have been the toxic one and he did certain things to you that now you've become toxic because you're reacting regardless. You're both toxic.

It was a bad relationship. I don't think you should judge anyone based on it. I don't think you should. However, some people, I think, love the toxic. They want the toxic and they don't want to have a healthy relationship. And like guys who were like,

oh no, I just love crazy girls. It's like no you like driving people crazy and you like yeah toxic you like the drama as a Scorpio Italian woman I love a little fire like I love I love a fight. I do. I just do. I love like a random like fuck you. And I came from a relationship that like there was no emotion. Like no fighting, which was amazing, but then there was also no like... Extreme intimacy. At all. So then to have a relationship where there's like an abundance of intimacy that it's almost like, oh my god, close your legs, like you're annoying me. You have to find a balance, and I really don't feel like you find it until you're in your later 20s.

Like there's no way. It's funny because Desi's a Scorpio, and I'm telling you, Desi, I think he's because he's in his 40s. He's tired. He's in his 40s. He's, he's, he's exhausted. Yeah. But so he has fights with himself. I can see, like Craig and I will get into a disagreement

about something and in my head, I'm like, damn, if I was 24, I would have exploded and made this so much bigger, but because I'm tired. Yep. I'm like, I have to have some oxygen out there. I feel like when he was younger, he would have. I would have gone nuts. But I genuinely tired, I'm like, I'm like, I have to lie down there. I'm like, I'm not sure now that I feel like when he was younger, he would have. I would have gone nuts.

But I genuinely think you need a balance. Like with my ex boyfriend, I'd be like, slam one door. One door, and I'll be fine. Like, say, get the fuck out, and we will be better. I am so scared of a fight. I hate a fight. But sometimes you have to get those emotions out. No, you're 100% right, because I'm the girl

that will never fight with you. And one day go, hey, I don't think this is working. Yes! I'm that girl. And I've done it hard. You are Johnny Depp. You'll never look at these eyes again. I will never, dude.

You will never look at people's eyes again. Your ex could walk in this room, and you would act like you'd never met him. I love that, though. I've never, like, I've gone cold turkey with all my exes, except one really toxic one who would make me get never met him. I love that though. I've never like, I've gone cold turkey with all my exes except one really toxic one who would make me get coffee with him, but don't worry I ended that.

It's kind of crazy that you could go cold turkey. Like I've at least gone back to every single ex once. I've never, I, oh no, I did hook. I hooked up with British Dave. But like we did, he did a really day. He did a jam of a humor. He's a gem. Did you know that married? Well, it's funny because death asked me. Deaths was like, have an

AveryuX's hate you up. Yeah, did anyone say like congrats? No, because that's like anyone I was with like we don't talk anymore like that. I don't think any of my exes have even gotten married. See, they were the problem. Not me. Obviously, no British Dave, we hadn't hooked up in a while. And then he was like, hey, I'm leaving to go to Australia tomorrow. I'm probably not going to be back in America for a really long time. I'd love to get drinks.

What about us? You're like, I'm literally getting married in America. I've been on this for years ago. This was years ago. Oh, I do kind of remember that. Yeah, yeah. And he never came back. No, to America.

But I was, I gave him a goodbye. Yeah. OK, now we can talk about the wedding. OK. I don't know if this phrase has been used too much or if it's a popular opinion or if it's unpopular, but this is my opinion. I hated it.

I'm so happy you came with this hot take today. I'm so happy. Continue. I thought that you're also coming off a really good one. I'm coming off an an impossible theme to recreate. Yes. Um, I'm coming off Hampton's Disco Garage. I mean, everything was encompassed in this wedding. bouquet in the face. Oh, it was just comedy.

So try to be unbiased. I'm trying. What were your expectations for it? Like, what did you envision? I envisioned like fairy tale gorgeousness. I thought this looks like a bad Halloween party. I thought that like the red and the black. Now it's not my aesthetic, but here's what I was annoyed about.

It's not hers either. That's not her aesthetic. You thought she was playing a part. She's playing a part, like her wedding dress. There's a girl who I started following who would say like what celebrity, what dress they should wear for their wedding or she'd style certain things and she came up with all these gorgeous, kind of gothic looking long wedding dresses. Yeah.

She could have worn that. We're stunning. And she was like, I wish she were one of these. I wanted from her. I wanted like old school godfather, like gothic Italian. I wanted gold and white. And I wanted him to be tatted in like a sick Tom Ford suit. And I wanted hers to be very like.

What's with that this up? No, I thought this out. I thought the corset micro mini with the insane veil now. As a good Catholic school girl, I thought the blessed mother Mary on her veil was very like sacralidros. Like I just thought it was weird.

Like I didn't love it. I liked all the wedding guest dresses. I think Chloe actually looked the best. I think her wearing a gold crown to someone else's wedding is the main character energy. I wanted. I did see that. I did see her in it.

She totally did. She was like watch this candle and see her off. I really wanted her. She really wanted her guests to go off. Like she wanted them to have fun with it. Yes. I also have a real problem with Penelope's hair being red. I didn't love that. Why? I just don't think it's like, I

just don't like it. Alabama Barker scares the fuck out of me. Her lifeline or she like, I mean, she go punch me in the face and I'd say, thank you. Like, she's terrifying. I just didn't like it. Like, I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Do you think that the internet felt similar?

I don't know. It didn't even really read anything that people were like saying because I think they're so excited that they got married. Yeah. That I didn't even see. Did people know that they were going to be so many, because I thought they're so excited that they got married. Yeah. That I didn't even see. Did people know that they were gonna be so many, because I thought they were just gonna do the small wedding ceremony.

Like I thought they were just gonna do Vegas, I thought they were just gonna, and like I didn't even know this was happening. I wish she did a long gown. Yeah. I mean it was basically sponsored by Dolce & Gabbana. Oh yeah. Like which I feel like all the sisters

that wore Dolce & Gabbana looked great. Like I thought I feel like all the sisters that wore Dolce and Gabana looked great. Like I thought all of their dresses were great. I think it fit the vibe. But like she could have come out in a six. She basically wore like a Y2K corset with like a mini. White mini skirt and like Mary on her veil and it was like a thousand feet long.

She seems so happy, which we love. We love, we love that. We love. I, you know, what, I think it's because we want her to have a moment. And like yet again, I feel like the other people had moment. I just think it looks like a costume party. I also think that like I am a traditional wedding dress girl because I feel like if you do a trend for your wedding, you're going to look back on it in 20 years and be like, I can't believe I actually picked that. Well the question is 10 years, is she gonna look back and be like, oh, remember when I

thought I was like a rock star? Yeah, I don't know. Do you think that like, he's Kanyeing it where he's like kind of like this in my vision? She's like, yeah babe. I know, I think this is what happens when you like the guy planet. I think she just loves him so much that like the things he likes She's like I like it too and she might like it, but like I Don't know. I do notice Penelope reminds me so much of Courtney like she is the best resting Courtney bitchface

Yeah, and I'm obsessed with like little girls with resting bitch faces. I loved Kim being blonde though at it. Yes with like little girls with resting butt traces. I loved Kim being blonde though, Adda. Yes. She also had Pete, she had a pee on her acrylics. People did message me. Someone is following me on Instagram. I'm a little worried about my nails though, because they haven't budged.

And I feel like the woman put straight up concrete on my nails. Yeah. I don't even know how to get them off at this point. Is that a tip or is that a straight acrylic nail? She did something I've never witnessed. It's a tip but like she like made it out of clay. She will do it. Jane will do it.

Jane will do it. Okay I don't know what the fuck happened but anyway I did H&D. Her putting P was peat not there. No, because he had his last night on SNL. Kagan, I got into a small spat about this. He said his take was stupid, but we had a full on debate. He said, if Kim and P were really real, wouldn't he have been at Courtney's wedding?

And I said, yeah, but it was his last night on SNL. And he said, yeah, but didn't they sit down to plan Courtney's wedding? And I said, I'm not changing my wedding plans. If your brother got a new girlfriend, I said, that's crazy. Why would I do that? He then conceded because he realized that I was right here.

Or it's like more of a real relationship that he feels like he doesn't need to cancel his career shit to show that he's at this wedding. Right. Like I didn't think him doing his SNL thing was like... No, it means they're in a real relationship. Yeah, he's like, I have to check this. They had to prioritize shit. Right.

And also she's had like a bunch of wedding celebrations. She's got married like three times in this past week. I do love that's in Italy though. It made me hungry, the whole thing made me hungry. Yeah. Me too. Is that weird? Yeah, for some penny al vodka.

I was like, wow, I wonder what like the food is at the end. At this reception. It was probably amazing. I was like, why aren't we seeing that? And Stasi was there too. Okay, now Stasi's wedding. Yes. The epitome of what I want from an Italian wedding. Yes. Yes. Like I want Frank Sinatra playing in the background. I want long white like I want people to know. No key around.

Yeah, I want to walk down the aisle and people be throwing pasta at me. Parmesan being sprinkled. Hello An onion ring for the ring. Anyway, you guys, we love you so much. Oh, that's it. We're done. Yeah. Like Patrick gave us the five minute march. We have so much to talk about. You're gonna have to wait till next week. Nana still got it. It's still posting wedding photos. Some of them of me, I'm like, Nana, I look like a beach whale. You have to, Nana,, I don't think she can see. For her first picture was her, and I was like, I fucking love that. Also, I'm going to be on the daily pop on Thursday.

We're doing summer trends. I am the eShopgirlSummer stylist. So for the next couple of months, I'll be on e doing different summer trends and different things. So my first one is on Thursday morning. That is so exciting. Yes.

Also, I believe we sold out DC. I think we have a couple left for New York and a couple left for Boston. It'll be a different show if you've been to Boston shows. And I have some new stand updates in the fall that I'll be announcing soon. And this is our merch and I'm wearing, that I have been wearing every day for two months.

That's what got me shadow bands, so bye. Bye. We love you. Muah.