Giggly Squad - Giggling about boyfriend grid posts, stuck in Aspen, and New Years resolutions

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Paige lost her luggage with all her outfits and podcasting equipment so she is on her iphone. Let's pray for her. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm in the day just got away from me. New year, new me, new you, new giggles. How are we doing? I'm not well. I'll tell you I'm not well. I'll tell you about him not. Wow, bitch. I'm in Aspen. I have altitude sickness.

And all my luck fidgets lost. You gave a whole kind of, a whole story about how people should mail their luggage. How did that backfire? Shipper luggage, I said. It's so great. Get there on time. Everyone else on the trip ship their luggage. Everyone else has their outfits. Mine lost. I also love how you've threesook. Chuck full of clothes lost. Who knows where the fuck it is, but someone is very stylish right now.

Somewhere in Colorado, I have like one sweatshirt to my name. I have no clothes. I might literally drive an hour to the facility and like scream at everyone and look for it myself. Well, this is the question. What does the tracking say? The tracking yesterday said out for delivery will be there by nine p.m. nine p.m. rolled around and it said, unforeseen events will let you know when it's coming. Oh my God, I wish that's how I dealt with work. Like someone says me an email and I'm like, unforeseen events. I'll let you know eventually. I'm going to unforeseen events, I'll let you know eventually. I'm gonna start saying that.

I just feel like it's 2022. Like, how are we still losing luggage? Exactly. But I do have to say your tank top looks so cute. And I think this is a sign from the universe. You're starting the year with life lessons, being like, you know what, you don't need your outfits to be a value. That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. This is an ego death.

The past few days have just been relying on my personality and it's... I'm from Italy, I hear so much there. So if people are wondering why Paige's audio isn't perfection, like it usually is, our podcast gear was also in the luggage. So the universe is really testing the giglers as a whole right now. Like send this energy to Tristan Thompson. I don't deserve that.

Should we just start off with Tristan? Because how insane. I mean, actually not really insane. I feel like when the story came out, obviously we knew that he got her pregnant. What I find insane is him posting like stories, like telling Chloe on the stories. Like you deserve so much fun. Like shut up. I just think like the audacity to post a star war's movie credit type apology with like the most chill font like not even the fancy times new Roman classy font.

And then he has the nerve to misuse commas and periods in this like apology for this incredibly important apology. You can't proofread it once. I also wish that he did do it just like talking to the camera because like I feel like his assistant could have done this. For all we know his baby mama could have wrote it. Her captions for photos, this is why you don't do long captions for your boyfriend. Her captions for all her photos with the two of them are insane. And then it's like, okay, when you wrote that caption, he was literally banging someone else. The longer the caption, the shorter the trust. So true.

The shorter the trust. It really is. Who do we think Chloe should be with? Because I like proposed post-mellon. I liked that. I think she needs a funny man. I think she needs someone funny. I think she needs to be dealing with athletes.

But or I like kind of love. Oh, me. Lamar, Lamy. Sorry I was thinking of Omokron. Are you kidding me? He literally almost died while banging hookers and doing cocaine. No. Okay, valid.

I forgot about that part. It's crazy too. She needs someone. Honestly, why can't Kim help her out? Kim got pee. She needs someone in that sphere. You guys, 2022, we are de-centering men from our lives. Having a relationship is not that end all be all slash doesn't mean you're successful. However, that's two girls in relationships. It's not everything like we don't need them. We just want them. Dad's got a hair. Oh, you don't have a husband. Sorry. We are very excited because we have live shows coming up in Seattle, San Francisco, NLA. And I sent Paige a t-shirt gun yesterday.

Yeah. And you thought it was a Dyson hair wrap? Yeah, I was like, is that a new? I thought there was a mini curling iron. And I was like, yeah, cute, get it. Or like something to like suck come out of your vagina after sex. Sorry, that was so, that was too much for an early morning podcast. That was so much, but should be invested. How have we not come up with that? We're still like waddling to the toilet?

Like, I'm sick of sitting there, pee-ig, and like waiting. Actually, I saw something on Instagram where you put something up like a sponge, but like that doesn't help. That shit will be dripping for like three days. No, it's so annoying. You're like trying to get a cookie and before a dinner

or something, and you're sitting at the dinner staring at them just being like you did this Smith. I'm leaking. Oh, graphic. Oh my god. But then apparently apparently what about Jack Harlow? Apparently. Apparently. What about you? What about you? I got a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little for all the gigglers listening, seeing a guy cheat in public could be like the stir being or triggering and makes you maybe be scared about your own relationship but just remember a wise person once told me if he's going to cheat he's going to cheat and it has nothing to do with you. Your prettiness, your attitude, your personality, your intelligence, nothing to do with you. If he's a cheater, he's a cheater. Either way, you know what I think about all the time

was like show like this. Is that like one day, because it's on the internet, so I can just like, goes away. One day like her daughter is gonna see all of it. Well, we should think about that for ourselves, honestly. Yeah, that just gave me ripples up my spine. Imagine our daughters one day listening to Giggly's squad and being like something to suck come out. Mom, do you know how like when you look at your old photos

of your grandma, it's so nice. They're going to be like looking at our Instagram. Like, no, that's terrifying. Explain why grandma was doing thoughts squats everywhere. Okay, I want to know what you did for New Year's. Oh my god, it was the best New Year's ever. I did nothing. I laid on the couch with Craig. We made mini hot dogs and I fell asleep at 12 or 1. People were DMing me being like you and Paige have switched lives. Is that a wild New Year's? Yeah, what did you do? I was at the stand in New York doing comedy shows and I had a show at like 6 p.m. 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. And I got my makeup dead. Oh my god. I did a shiny blue moment with eyeshadow. I saw it. It looked

so cool. Oh thank you. Blue eyeshadow is tough until you say it's euphoria and then everyone's like okay yeah that's so true. And then I went to girls got to eat's house for new years. I was on this person routine is all night. Oh my god. But it was very like low-key mature type party. Like no one's doing hard drugs. We're all just like talking, drinking. Does actually walk in right when things got a little bit rowdy and the guys were taking their shirts off

and I was yelling, show me your tits! So it was pretty feminist. It was a feminist moment. But it was overall a great night. And then I posted a photo of myself on New Year's, and everyone's like, did you and Des break up? And I'm like, no, I'm desentering men for my life. Yeah, this is my Instagram.

I mean, I left pictures of myself anymore. Wait, I saw that. Everyone was like, it's all that. I was like, yeah, she's announcing it by posting a thought squad. So it's how you would announce it. It's 11%. How I just announced anything. I forgot to ask you last time,

because the Googlers want to know, you posted your first grid post with Craig. They did it. And I want to know everything that went into this post like, did you know that night you were going to take a photo that was going to be the one. I did. You did. I did.

I was like, this dress is so good. I know I was posting a pic that night. Like I was either posting one by myself or with him. But since we've said I love you to each other, we haven't been in this situation where we were dressed up and it was like, oh my god, take this picture. I don't know, I felt like it was the perfect moment for it. Who took it? I have no idea. moment for it. Who took it? I have no idea. That person was not important. I literally have no idea. Were you nervous like picking which one? What was the process? Or did you like see it and you were like, this is it? No, I was very nervous because I was going

between like three different ones and then finally Craig picked the one of him kissing my head. And he was like, okay, great, when we're in an aspect, I'm gonna post my first grid picture. And I was like, amazing, I have such good outfits. There I am in a white white feeder black club pants that I've been wearing for four days. I have no shampoo, I have no conditioner, I have no shampoo, no conditioner, no hair dryer. It's wild.

It's a wild, wild less over here. You look like you just joined a commune where you're not allowed to shower or change your clothes to your closer to nature. No, I literally, I've been kidnapped. I'm trying to be like a crazy girl. Yeah, like I'm trying to be like to keep a show and be like yeah, like my all my luggage is just gone. It's just awesome. You know, we'll just like see what happened Inside I'm losing it. I'm absolutely losing all You're like it's not an AM and I've had six mental breakdowns But page struggling when no one else knows when you're struggling and surviving it is strength.

I did see an Instagram post about that yesterday. Makes you stronger. Craig's understands. I guess Craig's like, Craig literally said, you're handling, he's like, you're handling this so well. And he's like, don't worry, we'll go skiing tomorrow. And I looked at him and I go, with what ski outfit with what clothes.

I don't even have a snow boot. You're like, I'm going to look like Hannah Burner on the slopes, okay? Literally, you could wear some of the most. I'm like, what? No. I'd rather die. I love it. You're like, I'm fine, but I'm just gonna stay in this room

for the next couple of days until the court is old, dies down. No, literally. If I don't have clothes by today, I have to go shopping, I guess. But you can't even shop in Aspen because everything's $4,000. Yeah, it's not for like,

like if you want a hat? It's not for a wall. No, of course I thought. You get a present for yourself and you treat yourself. Yeah, Aspen is some fancy shins. Maybe. It's not for a while. Of course that's fine. You get a present for yourself and treat yourself. Yeah, ask me to do some fancy shit. Maybe. Ask me to do a lot of window shopping for me.

Anyhow, I'll be okay. Sure, babe. Well, we'll see. If you don't hear from me, let me go please. He actually seems like a reality show, like put page in the house and no affid show up and watch her crack. This will get her to crack. It's the simple life in Aspen.

I'm like, where are the hidden cameras? Because this has to be a fucking joke. Literally, everyone's a luggage that was shipped and people shipped it after mine and I did next day delivery on Thursday. So it arrived in Colorado on Friday. They've just been chilling with it for days. I think you go. I need to call.

I'm gonna have my mom call. Yeah, when it's out, get your mom to deal with that. I have my mom. Oh my God. Well, we made it work. Here we are. And I think we need to do some advice to start the new year. Like I want some positivity.

I would love to. Yeah, I am dedicated to the gigglers. So I'm up at 8 a.m. with a pounding headache, no luggage to give advice. Yeah, this is like middle of the night for us to make this happen. Yeah. You're literally the middle of the night.

Middle of the night. I was so nervous, you weren't gonna wake up. But then again, I. You're literally the middle of the night. Middle of the night. I was so nervous you weren't gonna wake up. But then again, I was nervous I wasn't gonna wake up. But here we are. Advice time. Do you care if your boyfriend has mainly Instagram models on his 4u page? Interesting. Very interesting.

Um, no, I don't really care. Des was swiping on TikTok and this girl with like huge boobs popped up and I was like, interesting. And he's like, what a came up on my TikTok. I'm like, it's an algorithm, you know, it's an algorithm. And he's like, you have hot guys on your TikTok. I'm like, no, it's just girls talking about their IBS and depression. Like, I don't have hot guys on my TikTok. I also don't think there are hot guys on TikTok.

Like unless it's like a hot 13 year old or like a guy trying to show off his abs. Like I don't find that attractive, you know? The only hot guys on TikTok are in college. Yeah, you're right. They're just like throwing footballs. Yeah, like there's no guys at our age that are like actually hot

and like on TikTok and aren't like so cringey. Yeah, you know, like with the TikToks they do. That was a present. Craig has a lot of like dog like, okay, you know, when you're laying and you're like watching someone else be on their phone. Yeah, it's so weird. It's so meta.

It's so weird. And the one day I was like laying on Craig's chest and like, keep, we were going through like, like means or something and like he was on this phone. And every time like a girl would come, he would go really. He's like, ew, ew. And I just looked at him and I was like, hmm. And he was like, you know, it's just like whatever. Yeah, no, it's whatever. I don't get mad at it though, because I feel like it's very similar to like, I don't, okay, you don't get mad at your boyfriend much is porn.

Exactly. I also noticed that these algorithms are wild. It's like Instagram. You know, on the top, it says like options on your for you page or your explore page. Mine is tennis practice self-compassion and cats. How does my Instagram know me more than everyone in my life? Wait, I need to check my minimal style London photography effortless chic.

That is so you. What is London for Cockroofing? Essex, Chelsea, Maiden Chelsea. I have a question. Is French Manacure's out? No. Okay, good. I just had a double check. What are you doing with your nails right now for the new year? Like, what's a vibe? If I wasn't already having a 4 a horrible 2022, all my nails broke.

All my nails broke and checked. This one is, I don't mean to give you the middle finger, but the jaggedness. I mean, they all broke. It's like unsafe. How do you even text? Because I was trying to shut a door last night, and it was so hard, I couldn't shut it, and then like my hands slipped off and I broke all my right hand nails. Oh, I know that feeling. So God is, something's going on with me and God right now

and he's just like really testing everything. Yeah, there's some beef going on, there's some drama, but hopefully you guys will work it out. We'll see. I think you should go to the mail place. I'm telling you. Sometimes they're just like, they just, they get confused, they don't know what's going on.

You need to put some pressure on them. Be like Craig, let's go on a fun little day trip. Oh my God, Craig's gonna absolutely leave me for dad to go and go see me and I'm gonna be in the bed. Isn't that what you want? Kind of. I'm just fucking amazing. Does this wake me up at 7 a.m. to go on the slopes?

Okay. In a relationship with my best friend, five years, but lack of chemistry and sex, no desire is it time to leave? Yep. Have you ever been in a relationship for five years? No. That's crazy. Five years, no. My longest is three years. And once the sex part leaves, I gotta go.

And you guys, when we say the sex part leaves, we don't mean like you're not fucking every day. We mean like... You have straight ick. Exactly. And also like, stop with the whole best friend thing like there's so many best friends You can have you want a guy who makes your vagina tingle? Do you want to know what actually I want to Change the narrative on like he's my best friend. He's my boyfriend. I love him. Okay

Craig is my best friend to a certain extent. Yeah, but he's not my best friend in the way of like Like I'm not gonna call him and be like my period is so bad right now And I think I have a UTI and like I'm not gonna say certain shit to him that I would say to you But he's still one of my good friends. But like, and I feel like there's a boundary because then it's like, I just, I want to be sexually attracted to him. And if he's not sexually attracted to me, because on talking about it's like my heavy flow and my UTI, I don't know where I'm going with those doubts or two is really getting to me. But I know exactly where you're talking about

and I think that you can get along with so many people. It's about finding the person that like you fear, like makes you wanted and you want affection from. It has to be balanced. There's nothing worse than your boyfriend touching you and you're like, ugh, that's what you know you have to get out. I've only felt like twice in my life. The egg? Yeah. I also think this is what a lot of girls get confused about too, is that

the egg is not physical. Like, as in, you don't get the egg because one day you look at him and you're like, he's not hot, but it comes from emotional shit. That it comes from either he like cheated on you and you don't trust him anymore and your pussy will dry up. I don't care how much you tried to convince yourself that you still care about him or still want him in your life. Or if he's not being emotionally available,

eventually you're just gonna close up. Like you're gonna be like, I can't do this anymore. Yes, I have two examples of that. One, I had a boyfriend where that was exactly what happened. Like he cheated on me and it was just never the same and blah, blah, blah. But then I've had a boyfriend where one day I was just like, I know that's actually trying to do whatsoever. Did you like see another person that made you realize? No, it was just like every time he touched me, I was like, I also think

of your inner relationship and you look at other relationships and think like, oh, I want what they have. That also is a bad sign. Yeah, that's really bad because because it's like, you know deep down you're missing something in yours. So you're just projecting that there's is perfect around you. And also you're making it, you just made that scenario up in your head about theirs, because theirs is probably trash too. Oh, okay, how much do you want to know about their past? When you start dating a guy, this is a wild question, this is chaotic energy.

Oh my god, the crazy in me wants to know everything, but like the mature, anxious person, like who I really am today. I don't know, I had a boyfriend who used to use stories about his ex to like control me. Like he'd be like, oh, I hated when she did this. And like, oh, I got so mad when she did that. So my like people pleasing side was like, okay, well, I'll definitely never do that. And I'll like, oh, I hated when I went to watch the game and she like, would like, want to do other stuff. And I'd be like, okay, noted, when the game's on, leave them alone. Like, that's all just like control tactics. That's or like, yeah, I never let her share with me when I was doing this because she'd be so annoying

So I'd be okay noted don't be annoying when he goes do that which is so like me walking on fucking a shells Also, I'm always annoying jot down Jolbee in oil today I feel it does like I try to annoy him. It's like fun for me to annoy him Yeah, like I'm gonna see how far I can go. A thousand percent. There have been times where he'll tell me something about like a girl from college and I'm like I don't need to know. Yeah. Or like if we walk into a bar he's like oh like look like he'll just be like giving me the gossip but I'm like I am your girlfriend I don't know

that you slept with her in college. I feel like anything before me doesn't really count. And I don't really care about it. I love that perspective. Desi told me I like to know how guys lost their virginity. And Desi told me how he lost her virginity. And he said it with like a little too much emotion for my liking. like the story, like I felt like he had a crush on her. And I was like, why don't you go fuck Emily then?

Like I literally was like go fuck her. And he was like Hannah, she has four children and she's like 45 years old. And I go, yeah, well go fuck her. She was your first fucking love. Go find her and leave me out of your drama. I was like, I was. It's interesting because yeah, you want to know every little thing, but then why? Like, you don't need to know. Here's the other thing. I don't remember anything as the worst memory ever. So Kregel asked me things for my past,

and I'll be like, I actually don't know. Oh my God. He's like, how long did you guys date? I'm like, I don't remember, I'm honest. If you like, when you start telling stories about your ex, you're like, almost trying to make them jealous. Like, yeah, when this other guy liked me, and it's like, find out like, what's the purpose of telling the story.

Like, unless it's really funny, there's really no purpose to tell a story about your ex. Or if you're trying to help him understand a past trauma, maybe. Yeah, I would say that is the only time I ever talk about exes is when I'm like, okay, well, I like dealt with this in a relationship. And it's the kind of like we're talking about it like that. Not like, oh my god, he like took me to Paris and I was amazing. Exactly. Like I would never say that. Also, the biggest red flag is on a first date if a guy brings up anything about past relationships.

Yeah, my ex was just like, you know, like not right, you know. So crazy. So crazy. I find the most attractive thing is when you try to get a guy to talk shit about his ex. And he's like, honestly, she is pretty cool. I respect that. I don't like it. I really did. Yeah, she was like, once Des was like, yeah,

we fought the whole time, but like, honestly, she was a good person. And I was like, was she? And he's like, oh, yeah, she was. No, text her. How do you feel about guys being friends with their exes? No. No. No. No. No. Because going back to the original, they're not your friend. They never were. No, I think it's in a discussed today. I would never bring my ex-boyfriend that I would like with significant in my life around Kragani right now.

Like, no. And if you really care about him, it's like, I would never put him in that situation. That's how you know you don't care about someone when you're like, let's put And if you really care about him, it's like, I would never put him in that situation. That's how you know you don't care about someone when you're like, let's put three guys I'm talking to at the same time at this party and just see what kind of recklessness ensues. Craig doesn't even know my experience name is. He doesn't even know.

Like, he doesn't even know what he looks like. He's like, what's his name again? He's like, yeah's his name again? He's like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I have to answer it, but I think it's fun. Okay. Do you remember your list on season one of Summer House for us? How many things to have to check off your list? I'm gonna go to it. A lot of them. Like some of them are so specific. A lot of them. Like some of them are so specific. Like some of them are so crazy. But like a lot of them. I would say most of them. I love that for you. Because that's manifestation. Yeah, man of astagrack.

Do you have a New Year's resolution? For sure. This is going to sound so not me. But since I bought myself an iPad, like a couple weeks ago, I want to read more like on my iPad. I feel like having an iPad is your new personality type. Like I want to download books on my iPad. You have to learn how to read first. It's gonna take forever.

Wait, is it because you saw Alex Cooper's reading books? Honestly, I've been getting a lot of influence from Instagram. Like, everyone's out here reading and enjoying what's my deal. Look, Instagram's a lie. Don't believe anything from Instagram. These influencers are literally taking photos with the books upside down. Like, I have a real issue with certain books. Like I have beef with certain books.

Whenever I'm depressed, I'll order like six self-help books about like your ego and emotional code and attachments. And I realized if you could read a book to find happiness everyone be fucking happy and I feel like there's a lot of people that don't know a lot of shit who will write a book to be like nailed it this is gonna solve everything dude I'm not gonna read like I think I'm perfect so I'm not trying to like read anything about myself like about changing myself I want myself. I want some like fiction and craziness. Have you heard any of the drama was Rachel Hollis? Women who went viral because she wrote a book called Girl, Wash Your Face and it's like

it motivates you to live a better life, you know like all these millennial books That's like just fucking kick the patriarchy and the nuts like let's make fucking money. Yeah, it's always like yeah I'm over the bullshit So she writes this book it goes viral She charges like crazy amount of money for people go to these. She's kind of doing like a Tim Robbins or whatever Tony Tony Robbins Isn't Tim Robbins like a place to get coffee? Anyway

There is something That's like a groceries No, I think it's like a Canadian coffee shop. My brain is a scary place. But it's like, brine brown type shit. We're like, I understand. It gives me cold vibes. Okay, I watch a lot of cults and it's like,

so this woman basically charges thousands of dollars for people to go to her things and she like motivates you. And recently, thousands of dollars for people to go to her things and she like motivates you and Recently She had this whole thing about how to have a healthy relationship and all this stuff and fine love and The last couple months she got divorced and people are like freaking out like you're a liar You've lied to us. You don't understand like the answer to anything type of shit And I'm like she's a fucking human But like they pitch themselves like they're sorcerers and I just feel like if you have to pay a lot of money For self-help if you have to pay a lot of money to like learn how to start a business like they find the most vulnerable

People who are in the darkest times of their life and they're like pay this money and I'm gonna teach you the answer to life and it's like no one fucking knows. That's why I want to read like a dirty sex novels. Oh I love that for you. Thank you. Sorry I took this in such a dark direction. Yeah I'm trying to read like a fixitia to gray or something. Oh, okay. You came out me pretty hard. Yeah, sorry about that. I'm sorry about the last five minutes.

Oh, shit. I just threw my phone at the... Okay. Oh, wait, does this text me? What is he saying? Tim Robbins is an actor. Tim Hortons is a coffee place again. Tim Hortons.

Thanks, does. Little fact checker in the background he doesn't even want to be listening to this podcast it just wait Tim Horton's wow that's fucking hilarious okay meeting the parents before you're official yeah it's actually that actually happened in my relationship and I was very weary about it. And I said something to him. What did she say? I said, look, if I'm meeting your parents,

like, that's a big step for me. And if you don't see this being anything serious, then no, I don't want to. And he was like, okay, so you're going to meet my parents. I'm like, okay. I like that because you basically gave him an ultimatum, but in like the lightest, most respectful way. Like if you want something from me, I just need to know that this is like the direction we're headed. I said, look, I'm looking out for you because your parents will then ask you about me for the rest of your life. And if you're not ready for that, then don't introduce them to me because I'm a parent stream.

That is the perfect way to deal with the situation. I've like got out of relationships and the mom still texts me and I'm like, oh, how sad is this? You know what we find ourselves here, Sally? You know, how do we get into this mess? I would like bond with moms because she would look at me and she'd be like, he's so fucking annoying. I'd be like, I know. And next thing you know, like, we're best friends. I don't even, we like hang out on our own.

Talk about how dumb their son is. Love him though. You love him. My biggest red flag that I ever got from meeting a parent was like a guy who I was pretty unsure about, such scared of. And when I met his mom, she was like, I've won piece of advice.

Keep him on his toes. And I was like, what? Fuck off. You want me to play mind games with your son? Like basically warning me was like, why? Fuck off. Like, you want me to play mind games with your son? Like, basically warning me like, oh, if you don't, like, keep him on his toes, he's gonna cheat on you. And I'm like, what?

And I'm always at a family dinner at a restaurant with my boyfriend and his parents. And his mom literally tried to set him up with a waitress. And I was just like, hello. Oh my God. Yeah, it was one of the craziest experiences ever. Needless to say, the mom hated me. She's like, look how good she's cleaning up that fork.

Has Paige ever picked up a fork? She literally goes, look how pretty the way Traces and like her accent. Oh my god And she went on about it for like it's long Island, okay? Yeah I think you think this bitch is actually friend. She's not from She's not from petty. She's from Suffolk I know that it's crazy. But that does remind me of the sexual tension between any waiter who's around your age, who's decent looking. You're like, we're gonna fall in love.

Such sexual tension. Like at the airport. Yeah. I get looked at way more at the airport than anywhere else. Same. You become this mysterious jet like, jet-setter girl. Yeah. And you're just like, where is she going? And what is she doing? And then you just see yourself in a movie,

like you're looking out at the airplanes, and you're just like, just traveling through life. You know that Emily did not know? Yeah. She met her husband on a plane. Yeah, that is fucking incredible. But also also she is a Maybelline model, so let's not assume it's going to happen all the time. She's going to be my husband.

In my head, I look like a Maybelline model, but when I'm on a flight, I'm a potato. I'm the one that's like falling asleep and like twitching when I think I'm about to, my head's about to fall, like I'm bad annoying bitch. Oh yeah my head was doing on a lot of this trip. But you just. I feel like we've both been traveling so much. Do you have any traveling tips to stay to stay healthy and fresh? Honestly, the only one that I really think were it's the easiest one is just chugging water.

You're right. You have to chug water. Like chugging it. Also, don't you get bloated after flights? Like I am a fart machine after flights. I'm so it's not even that it's not my stomach. It's so like hard. Yeah. Yeah. And they get hurt. It just reminds us that we're all just molecules of water and flesh, you know. Anyway, with that said, do we have any front page news? Um, we talked about the Tracy. We would do you think about everyone saying Kim Kardashian photo shot. Photoshop true in the picture when it was clearly stormy. So weird. Like why'd she do that?

I came photoshopping a kid into a photo as the least surprising thing I've ever heard. Like, because people don't understand the length of photoshopping these motherfuckers are doing. Like they're redrawing their whole bodies every time they post a photo. She was making an NFT. Yeah, she's actually on her way to the Bahamas.

With who? Literally. With Pete Davidson. Oh my God. For like a post-New Year's vacation. I have like random tea from the comedy community. I know someone who had sex with Pete Davidson she said his penis was incredible.

Really? And I don't know what that really means because that's the honest. She just said she loved his dick and I'm like okay, does anyone really love a dick? Like she didn't give me specific sex, but I've never been like, hmm, cut off the guy and just give me the dick. I just wanna stare at that fucking art vark. They're pretty interchangeable, you know? Yeah. So I guess he's good and bad.

And then apparently he said she's really good and bad. Apparently he said, or this girl. Apparently Pete said that Kim is like a beast in the sack or something. I don't like the term the sack. Or calling me a beast, you know? That's what you took from that. If someone said Paige, you're a beast in the sack.

I'd be offended. I'd be mad. I'd be funded. I'd off my skin. I be mad. I be pissed. I'm like, I'm not a zainty, sexy flower. Yeah. You turn into a werewolf and all your laser hair just comes back while you have sex. And then it goes away again.

I don't like it. What did you think about Miley Cyrus' chemistry with Pete? Because people were like, oh, we like them better. I kind of know did too. I do they just fit better. Or are they just like two like weed friends who like to smoke weed and talk shit together? I think they're too similar.

I think they're probably very similar. I don't think that she would be his type. I think he would be her type, but I don't see him. He dates pretty much the same type of girl. He dates Grunettes with dark eyes. He dark hair. He date does. He loves us. He loves us. And she likes, she likes to date clean cut. Yeah. Guys, and occasionally a girl.. Please, they both have yet both of their types are not each other. They're turned off by each other. They hate each other. Did you see how she lost her top and just like rocked it? She's wild. I feel like she feels more comfortable losing her top.

Like she wanted to lose her top. I think she's probably a lot nuttier than me thing. a lot nuttier than me thing. But she's had such like a long-term career, which is impressive. Have you watched any sex in the city yet? No, you haven't. No, I just like to listen to what people are saying about it and people hate it. People are so mad. They hate where the story's going. I don't hate it though.

They just made them so old. Like they're giving them problems that like, ate you apart. Like they have arthritis and stuff. Yeah. Like Steve's death in one year. You know. People are like, there's a lot of

some at the backlash in the interwebs. Like people being like, we want Samantha, we want Samantha. But in Samantha's, the actress might go on like, how I met your father, and then she also might be on like a new season of what? Hillary Duck, shall. Oh, how do you watch any dope Rocky Monteries?

Yes, I have. I have. Okay. I was waiting for you to ask. This will be, there's a documentary about Von Dutch out on Hulu. Are you familiar with Von Dutch? Yes.

Okay, I saw that my watch was the trailer. I didn't, or the preview, or whatever. I didn't watch it. How is that? I have to let you guys know. Paige fully just went into bed. Just pillow to pillow talk so it basically shows how Von Dutch was created and

How it was the hottest thing Paris Hilton and then it shows Paris Hilton being like I'd basically die if I got caught in Von Dutch right now but it fast forward There's like all these sketchy dudes who are involved in Von Dutch and like people get murdered and stuff. Okay, murdered? Yeah, there's just like really sketchy characters who are part of Von Dutch and there's a lot of money involved. And people like fight over who started it? Yeah, it started as just like a chill little brand that then got so fucking popular. Oh, because Tommy Lee wore it in his MTV crib video.

And all the girls who were hanging out in his jacuzzi were wearing Von Dutch tank tops and hats. And like it just fucking, back them, shit would blow up based on like one cable TV show. You know, like nowadays there's so much going on. It's hard to blow up from something. But they just, and they mismatch the money. It gets, and it's violent.

Um, next, I've been watching succession. Have you watched succession? Yeah. It's going to make me get sure. Okay, well, this is my argument about succession. I hated it, and I thought it was boring, and I thought every conversation was basically the same until the last episode of season two. And then I was like, oh, this shit's good Wait the last episode of season two. I think I loved it all of season two. Yeah season two was good

Yes, you've been one I was like, okay, this might be a little over my head Like this is like a little too much, but just it's so good But it is that kind of show where people be like, hey, after 47 episodes, it gets lit. Like you just have to like push through. So if you want to waste your life, it eventually gets good. I also just wrote down Bobby Flay. And it's because when I'm traveling, I put beat Bobby Flayon

on cable. And I'm very sexually attracted to Bobby fly. I met Bobby fly in the summer. Shut the fuck up where? In Saratoga, one of my girlfriends is really good friends with his daughter and she had they my one my girlfriend happened to be in Saratoga when I was with her and I was texting her and I was like and she was like, oh meet me at the spa. Then I walked in and she was sitting at a table with Bobby Fly and I was just like I was so I was so star-stra Was he chill? He was very he was very really chill. I mean he was like a dad

It's like I was there and like his daughter was on the other side Yeah, and he was like nice to meet, you know, and then I went up to the bar and got a drink. I don't know where Bobby Fly went. But it was like meeting someone's dad. Like it wasn't. Like yeah, it's Bobby Fly, but it was also just like meeting your friend's dad. But I was like, why am I so attracted to Bobby Fly? I'm like, I like his like, Queen's accent.

Like, I like that he's older and that I'm like, wait, I'm just attracted to does. Really? Can does cook? No, but he's really good with like ordering food fast. Good for him. Good. I thought you guys had been cooking.

Yeah, he's good with that. Craig is actually, Craig is actually so good. I didn't, I feel like people will never talk about Craig's ability to cook and I feel like this is important information that we just learned. And he wasn't just cooking. He had like seven different kettles going at the same time. Yeah, he made me like a full dinner. I just sat there.

Having guy cook while you don't move a finger is third wave feminism. Yeah, he makes plans to go to grocery stores and write lists down and it's really hot. I love a man with a list and a purpose. Yeah, we'll be at the grocery store and we'll be like, get whatever you want. Say that and tend to, buddy. I need these macaroons immediately You're like I like shopping at Zara and stop and shop those are my two favorite places That's also a very like homie

Couple they think to do together remember the first time I went to a grocery store with Dez and I'm like oh, we're married Yeah, I really if you can have fun at the grocery store with your significant other You've a really good relationship going on. Yeah, I feel like if you cannot have fun at the grocery store with your significant other, you've a really good relationship going on. Yeah, I feel like dating is too much, just like going out to eat. I feel like dates need to be more in normal places where things could go wrong. Like go to home goods and just like smell every candle

and see how long it takes for him to snap. Or like, or yeah, like the DMV, but like, wait at the DMV till the very end, and then when you get to the front, forget your passport and see what he does. Like, that's... I break up with you. I know. That's why we're not dating together, because that's just never-day activity for me. I give you a very similar in situations like that where like he would forget his license to go renew his license, you know, and like you would do that. And I would just be like this one job. But anyway, Paige, thank you for somehow, I found, I found figuring out how to get on Giggly this week. Everyone pray to St. Anthony, pray to

whoever you believe in for her bags to come home. If you see something, say something. For all the rich people in Aspen, if you're listening, give her a fucking bags back. Okay. We're gonna have a fucking problem. But I do think this is a fucking problem. I'm poor. But I do think this is a learning experience and I'm rooting for you and it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna make the most of it.

Maybe I'll fronch braid my hair or something. I love how they don't even have a TJ Maxx. They don't have any like normal place. They don't even have like normal place. They don't even have fucking McDonald's here. Well, if you need close, go to giggly-squaw.com for merch. And we love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling with us. It's 2022, bitches, let's go.

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