Giggly Squad - Giggling about cheerleaders, ice cream, and threesomes

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Daphne is running for president and we discover something that is slightly disturbing. pre-order our book hereget tickets to our live shows heresign up for our newsletter here Hosted on Acast. See aca...st.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:46 What's up gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean the day just got away from me. What's up my delightful gigglers? Mmm, wholesome sweet, nice for a a Sunday. How is my goddaughter? She's doing good. I have like such mom guilt. No. This weekend I was like getting picture and
Starting point is 00:01:16 text updates of like what she was doing all weekend. She's like growing. And I'm like does she know I'm coming back though the thing is when she does see you you're good You're gonna realize how like cats are so excited to see you. Mm-hmm when people think cats aren't yeah It's like she's gonna be so happy. I'm gonna meet her after this pod not to make it about you, but She has to meet her godmother. Yeah, what if she likes you more cuz you just know well That's why I let you guys bond for a week, because I didn't want to have to take her. No, I'm like so obsessed with her now.
Starting point is 00:01:49 No, but she's literally so you-coded. She's going to see me in like barf. Can I say something though? This is like a bit... This might be a bit off-putting, but here we are. So like the first day I got her, like obviously you're like, this thing is so cute. And then like the second day I got her, like obviously you're like, this thing is so cute. And then like the second day I was like, okay, like I like her obviously, but I'm not like in love with her.
Starting point is 00:02:12 You're not bonded. Right. And then I got so nervous for like when you have a baby, like when it comes out, like everyone's like, oh my God, it's a love you've never felt before. And it's like, you're just like overjoyed. Like what if I'm not? Didn't Khloe Kardashian come out and just's like, oh my God, I love you. You've never felt before. And it's like, you're just like overjoyed. Like, what if I'm not? Didn't Khloe Kardashian come out and just was like, I pretty much did not feel that for a while.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Yeah, but she didn't have it. Like she wasn't pregnant with her son. Oh. Like that was a surrogate. So I think she was, but I was like, oh my God. I could not imagine Like postpart like I was like a lot of men feel like that because they didn't carry the kid right sorry I don't feel as connected
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm wearing my sunglasses right now, and I this reminds me of this meme sometimes you wear your sunglasses And you can't you can't talk here. Yeah, or see right like I need to take these off cuz I oh okay I'm awake. Because you're like, I know, I need to try. You have like no stimuli. I don't know why. How come you can't hear when you have sunglasses on?
Starting point is 00:03:11 You know when you're like walking the street and someone says something to you and you're like, I have my sunglasses on. It's like when you're driving and you're trying to find it, so you like turn the radio down, you're like, I can't see where I'm going with this music. No, yeah, men will be like, okay, it's a thing.
Starting point is 00:03:23 But that's the thing with having babies, like it's a lot of like, okay, it's a thing. But that's the thing with having babies. Like, it's a lot of the unknown, but it's a journey. Right. Motherhood is a journey. Look at us speaking. As a mother of six years, it's a journey. But Butter, I wasn't even trying to adopt.
Starting point is 00:03:36 She just wasn't coming out from under the bed. No, I definitely feel different. Like, I think about things differently. I'm like, I have a child at home I need to provide for. I know. But I also was very careful when you were, like, picking out the cat that, like, you have to pick a cat that's right for you
Starting point is 00:03:53 and a cat that likes you, like a cat that picks you. Yeah. Because, like, some cats could take weeks to, like, settle in. Like, a lot of cats will do this thing where you get your cat and then the next day you cannot find your cat. It happens all the time.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Like if you look at Google, it's like a top search, where is my cat? Like multiple times, because cats are insane at hiding. Like they will find, like in radiators, like so many times I've gotten a kitten and they like hide and we think we lost the kitten. No, she got inside of like my bed frame. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:24 I was like, okay, you're so skinny No, they're creative they're stealth they're spies No, they literally are but she's it sounds like you guys have connected like really well early on No, even Craig said he said he's never seen a cat with this personality before I'm like, well She's like her mom one green flag about Craig is he loves cats. Yeah. Yeah. And you know I hate a compliment.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Hate giving a man a compliment. Especially for Craig, but that's one thing that I'm like, that's a good man right there. Right. Because cats require consent. Do they? Like you can't just like go up and pet, right. You can't just like go up and pet a cat.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Like dogs, you can literally just like put their face in your mouth. You can steal a dog. For sure. So easily. And the dog will say thank you. Yeah, the dog's like, of course I'm going to come with you. Like you can't kidnap a cat. No.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Couldn't catch it. Dogs will pay you to kidnap them. Yeah. This is a cat podcast. Truly. It's truly a cat podcast. That was my caption. This is a cat podcast.
Starting point is 00:05:24 This is a Cat Podcast. Also, what happened to you protecting Daphne from fame? Because it lasted 47 seconds. You know, she's so pretty. You were like, it's actually a disservice to our nation. Exactly, a disservice. Especially in an election year, I was like, the country needs something to unite on. Also, Biden just stepped down. Is Daphne ready? They do have this same shade of hair.
Starting point is 00:05:48 They do say that. Being a president is just about being good looking. It's like 90% being good looking. Being the president? Yeah, like think about there's been no really ugly presidents. Have there been really good looking ones? I mean, I don't want to get political, but some of them are hot. This is a political podcast. Some of them are hot. Abraham Lincoln was like 6'9".
Starting point is 00:06:12 Abraham Lincoln was like... I know they say like JFK was like our best looking president, but like like when I see pictures I'm like, eh. See, I... You're into him. Oh yeah, well you like that look you like like a light hair light eyes Yeah, yeah, I mean like your boyfriend. Okay. Anyway, this Craig doesn't have light hair does he it's like light brown. Yeah. Um, okay
Starting point is 00:06:37 So I was violently woken up this morning by my husband. Mm-hmm. We forgot wait You didn't I feel like you never say the word husband Bye. My husband. Mm-hmm. Who we forgot. Wait. I feel like you never say the word husband. Because when I'm mad at him, he's my husband. Okay. My husband. Yeah. Plays golf, so he wakes up at 6 a.m., which is fine because I don't wake up.
Starting point is 00:06:57 But I feel like he wakes up at 6 a.m. like. Naturally. Yeah. No alarm. Yeah, and like no golf. Yeah, no golf. He'll be up. No, does his schedule is my jetlag schedule? I'm like trying to like hold on to all the time and that's just like it is just his schedule
Starting point is 00:07:12 No, it's crazy. So he is like getting his golf shorts And I guess he's like he's seeing what's in his golf shorts and a nickel comes out Okay, and hits the floor. I thought we were getting bombed. I thought we were under attack. I bounce up and he's like, sorry, there's a nickel in my shorts, and I'm like, are you, it's 5.30 a.m. on a Sunday. And then I just couldn't really fall asleep because.
Starting point is 00:07:38 So then you're up at 6 a.m. So I'm up, but I'm not productive when I'm up. It's just like the demons come early. What does butter do? Oh, butter's happy I'm up, but I'm not productive when I'm up. It's just like the demons come early So what does butter do? Oh butter's happy. I'm up. Mm-hmm butter. She starts cuddling Cuz cats are up like they don't they sleep during the day right and then that's like 3 a.m. They were talking about cats again. They think they are busy Yeah, like they're getting things in order. They're getting things done. They're organizing things they're like they're working like multi-level marketing cat schemes and then They're kind of like when is she gonna wake up and some cats will annoy you and wake them up better knows like
Starting point is 00:08:13 This bitch is not getting up. So she'll wait till I murmur and then she'll come in start the petting But then that's why like I hunky-dory or whatever. They call, honky tonky. When you know when you stay in bed. Hunker down? What's that thing going around on TikTok about? It's like a Swedish thing for when you wake up, you just stay in bed for a long time. Oh, um. Herkull.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Herkull derkull. Yeah. You guys knew what I was talking about. Herkull derkulling. So we're cuddling. We're cuddling. Are you Googling that? He doesn't even want to.
Starting point is 00:08:47 He's like, I'm not even acknowledging that. But the thing about cats is, however hard it was to get off the couch now, it's like 100 times harder when you have a cat with you. No. I literally had to go somewhere this on Friday, and I texted the person. I said, sorry, I can't come.
Starting point is 00:09:04 My cat fell asleep on my leg. I said, it what my sister should do? The memes are real. So Sierra and I have been sending each other cat memes like since the day we met. That's like the one like crazy things will be happening in our lives and I'll just be texting her a cat meme and it's just how we connect we don't talk about anything important. So now you're kind of- Wait, when's the last time you talked to Sierra? You know? We'll like have an insane phone conversation like once every couple months
Starting point is 00:09:30 and then go back to cat memes. And that's true friendship though. It is so true friendship. Because then when you do talk, and it's like no time has passed. And she knows that like I know what's going on through you if I need to get information. I forget where I saw this.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Where did I see this? I don't actually think it was TikTok. I think it was Instagram Reels. I don't know where it was, but someone said the sign of a good friend is if you haven't seen them in a long time or talked to them in a long time and then you see them, it's like they had just come back from the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Yes. And that I feel like is so true. And you can't like fake that or force that. It's just there or not. I also hate when like you feel like you should know more stuff about a person because they are online, but they're like not on your algorithm. So they like expect you to know things and you're like,
Starting point is 00:10:21 I don't know why you're not in my algorithm. You should be and I should know, but I'm like, did they get married or did they just go on a long vacation like do they go honeymoon and that's confusing and then some people you know too much when you see them and you're like I need it I'm freaking them out. And I need to like not say that I know that you just went like here here and here with your boyfriend and then you broke up and then like yeah. Also I haven't been following too closely but did you see Brooks Goffield got a cat? I didn't see that.
Starting point is 00:10:47 She got a kitten. But I thought she had a cat. She has a cat, but she got a kitten. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and I don't want to make it about us, but everything goes back to Giggly. I was texting her, and I was like, by the way, Paige got a cat, don't tell anyone, because it wasn't out yet. But I was obviously telling everyone I knew.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Right. And she was like, oh my god, this is so cute. So maybe I inspired her to get a cat. What kind of cat did she get? She got a bangle from the side of the road, she said. Oh my god. But bangle cats are known to be really feral. Aren't they big, too?
Starting point is 00:11:21 They will grow big, and they're also talkative. No, what's the one that's huge? Oh, I was going to say a monsoon. Like aren't they big too? They will grow big and they also like they're not good at one. That's like huge Oh, I was gonna say a monsoon Mancun mancun is it mancun? Yeah. Yeah, but they're like when you said monsoon See, that's why we're friends because like I That is a perfect example of our friendship monsoonsoon and then I thought of it, Mankun, got it. Like you led me there. Hang out with your man though
Starting point is 00:11:48 and like you say something really stupid but like obviously I'm like, I'm gonna get there. I'm just taking my time. And they're like, just know the word. Yeah. Sometimes when I'm with Craig, like I'll say something and he'll just like look at me or like continue doing what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:12:03 And like under my breath, I'll be like Hannah would have laughed. Or like, Hannah would have gotten it. Not to talk about men again, but I'm trying not to talk about cats. I do have to do a shout out to my husband though for just being like really cool during a time of like his girl doing something big. I'm so happy you're bringing attention to that. Because I was talking to my mom this morning, and I was like, let's wait a second, because we're talking about previous men in my life
Starting point is 00:12:31 who've tried to destroy my life. And I was like, is it a miracle? Past boyfriends would have cut the cameras when you were filming Netflix and been like, shoot, a technical difficulty. Like the amount of men that have actually tried to ruin my career, like go out of their way to like
Starting point is 00:12:49 Blackball me like I've dealt with so much shit really the girls have been amazing It's truly just been men and I was like how the like not to reward men for doing nothing But like thank God he's doing nothing right now. Well, here's the other thing that sometimes like I get a little bit annoyed with the men like Like now we're mad at him that sometimes I get a little bit annoyed with the men. Now we're mad at him. Wait, no. That lasted all of 30 seconds. We're like, you know what, actually, sorry, you're doing the right thing. One time Craig was like, well yeah,
Starting point is 00:13:16 but I don't have the reputation of cheating. I don't cheat on you. And I'm like, okay, so you want me to be so happy that you don't do the thing you're not supposed to do? Taylor Tomlinson, shout out to Taylor, an amazing friend and comedian, has a hilarious joke where a guy would tell her every time a girl hit on him.
Starting point is 00:13:37 And she was like, thank you so much for holding to like the one thing of this arrangement that you have to do is not cheat on me. The literal one disclaimer before you get into it. And it's like the only thing of this arrangement that you have to do is not cheat on me. The literal one disclaimer before you get into it. And it's like the only thing you had to do and also like, she's like, do you not realize that we could fuck any guy we want at any time?
Starting point is 00:13:53 No, literally. We're fighting off men all the time. When I'm at my ugliest, there's a man in the Lower East Side that is ready for me. Beyond ready, sweaty. Right now, he's sweaty and disgusting. Actually, for Burner Phone, we have, like people call in on the pod,
Starting point is 00:14:12 it's the best part, we get to like hear from people. And he calls me and he goes, I think this is the next level of your comedy, because we have men starting to submit stuff that like in inappropriate ways. Like what? Like give me an example. This dude like I said like submit to the pod
Starting point is 00:14:29 and he just submitted this like sexting type, phone sex type message to me about like my pussy. About like loving you? Not that romantic. Like gross. But like hitting on you. Yeah like being like Hannah you're hot and I like something what do you want to to do What do you want to do?
Starting point is 00:14:46 And Dez is literally is the one who listens to them all so he's like, babe come in here You gotta listen to this And I was like don't you like isn't that fucked up? And he's like yeah but it's kind of funny that he thought it was going to you but it went to me And I was like yeah I also I went on Howard Stern's summer school thing, and we got a call in from a guy, and he was being so nice.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Like he was like, I love your hand on the street interviews. Every guy talks the same in my accent. Love your hand on the street, I like how you interview people, you make them be themselves, da da da. And then he goes, have you ever been spit roasted? Wait, let me. Chris is laughing. Guys, you know what it is. Are you laughing because you know what it is? Yeah, I don't know what it is. Okay, hold Wait, let me. Chris is laughing. Are you laughing because you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:15:26 Yeah, I don't know what it is. Hold on. I know what it is now, but at the time I didn't know. I'm sitting there with four men. But I'm funny though, right? I'm funny. So I go... Don't tell me what it is. In my head, I say like a pig and they all just look at me and they're like, we're sorry, we're gonna get this guy off. And I go, wait, no, no, let me answer. And I go, sorry, I don't cook. And no one laughed. No one laughed. was like oh, so I can't I have to be sexually harassed And I can't make a joke give me um Please use the phrase in a sentence Like last night me and my teammate spit roasted a girl is that what they say
Starting point is 00:16:02 Is that what they say? Chris, what would they, how would they originate? I think that's fair. Chris, when have you used it? Is it like a porn thing that you guys do? Yeah, it's a porn thing. That you guys like freaking freaky little freaks? I'm not a porn star. Okay, hold on.
Starting point is 00:16:18 But if it's happening, the man is doing it to the girl or the girl is doing it to the guy? It involves two men and one girl. See, every man knows it and we don't spit roasted So you don't know what the origin of it is it okay? He's fitting in your mouth and the other ones It's not that literal. This is awesome. This guy's awesome I Literally had no idea but it sounded violent. I
Starting point is 00:16:41 Literally, I get what I'm thinking my head is disgusting Say it out loud. Yeah, I can't, what I'm thinking in my head is disgusting. I can't even say it out loud. I can't even say it out loud. I would assume that like, if you're having sex with two guys, one is in front of you and one is behind you. Yeah, but how is that different from the Eiffel Tower? I don't know. I think they're like- Can you voice figure out your words?
Starting point is 00:17:02 Like figure it out. Is that what it is? Well, I don't know. What is it? Do you want me voice figure out your words? Like figure it out. Is that what it is? Well, I don't know. What is it? Do you want me to look it up and give you a link? Yeah, Google the proper. Look at HR. No.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Go to Urban Dictionary and look it up. Part of being a woman in comedy is you either deal with men. You learn something new every day. Exactly. You know, and then. And then we should all take from this. We're learning and we're growing.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Okay. Okay. It's a verb. Okay. To spit roast. And I think we should all take from that. We're learning and we're growing. Okay. It's a verb. To spit roast. A sexual activity involving three people, two active males, and one passive, male or female. Man one penetrates person two from the rear, in parentheses anal or vaginal,
Starting point is 00:17:41 while he slash she sucks the penis of person three. Okay. Oh, so it just said Tuesday. Oh, so Eiffel Tower is just when their heads connect. What? I don't think their heads, no, they slap hands. Oh, they slap hands. I thought that they were like, like do-
Starting point is 00:17:56 I don't know, are people like out there doing that? Do you know what's, like, gives me the ick? Men Eiffel Towering. Yeah. Them holding hands on the top If two men are acknowledging each other during the threesome Should I leave? Guys well, it's also like I mean, I don't even anyway, so so anyways you got spit roast Which was like on brand yeah And then Des is getting messages.
Starting point is 00:18:26 But not all guys are bad. No, that's true. I've realized if you're a girl listening who you've been having trouble trying to find like a guy who's not intimidated or who can handle you, that kind of shit. Well, I feel like I do always get more nervous in front of people I know, like doing anything. I'm like, stop looking at me. Like I can't more nervous in front of people I know.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Like doing anything. I'm like, stop looking at me. Like I can't do it in front of you. It's all about the process. Like it's every single day that like we've been helping each other with our stuff. The actual day of filming, it's like, I did my work, you're ready.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I supported you up to this point. I don't need to distract you cause I'm so beautiful. When you're on stage, you're like, oh my God, sorry, my wife. The police are coming for me. you because I'm so beautiful when you're on stage you're like oh my god sorry my wife the police are coming for me. Can we talk about bikinis for a second? Yeah. Is this a gripe? Yes. Okay. It's not really gripe because I support all women in the arts but like have you seen the new trend where the girls are wearing a normal bikini
Starting point is 00:19:21 but suddenly everyone's showing their under boob? No I haven't seen that. I thought tankinis were coming back. I would love tankinis to come back. No I think tankinis are like about to have them like are having a little little bit of a moment in Gen Z. Wait that's so exciting. Mm-hmm. Cancel all your plans. Tankinis are coming back. Because my thing is... Limited to listen up. Have the... why are you not the face of it? Because it's for kids. And it's sold in Kohl's. Even Chris was offended by it.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Don't come for Kohl's. I'm not coming for Kohl's, but I said it's for kids. They brought it back for tweens. It's a missed opportunity. And we could have done a whole tankini line. Well, I just want to do out to Lindsay Payloss who started the whole Like bikini on half her boob. Yeah, and like she's been doing it for like a decade. Like getting a smaller top and it's Underneath. Yeah, and it's like you don't have to have big boobs like all girls are doing it. Yeah, it's just risky.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Would you rather an under boob or a side boob? I've actually never done an under boob. I think side boob is like, cunt. Yeah. I actually, I like an under boob. I'm trying to think if I ever really do it. Have you ever done it on purpose? I feel like...
Starting point is 00:20:42 Not on purpose. Not on purpose. I've done a side boob on purpose, obviously, but I've never done an under bo Not on purpose. Not on purpose. I've done a side boob on purpose, obviously, but I've never done an under boob on purpose. But I feel like it does look hot. I have some fun summer themes that I wrote down. And I was like, I have to ask Paige's on Giggly Squad. Because we went to Snowflake,
Starting point is 00:20:59 which is the best homemade ice cream in Long Island, in Riverhead. That sounds so fucking good right now. It's literally like so... You know what I would kill for right now, which is so niche? Remember when you were in middle school and you'd get those Dixie Cup ice creams and one side was chocolate and the wooden spoon, which would send me into a literal coma? But I would devour like 12 of those right now.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Would you combine it or would you eat vanilla then chocolate? I never combined it It's combined it the word I've never combined it I I'm freaky with food, you know that so I was like being naughty. You're all up in there. I think I eat the wooden spoon See, oh my god, they were all, we're both so fucking opposite. I hated the way the wooden spoon felt in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Because you felt like you were getting a splinter in your tongue. I was like, this is dirty. I was like, give me a goddamn spoon! Give me a platinum spoon! The turtles are fine! Give me a fucking spoon! That was very out of its time, before they even knew the turtles were drowning.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Yeah, a wooden spoon. Would you prefer a cup or a cone? Because someone made a TikTok, like if you're not getting a cone, you're crazy. And I was like, then call me fucking crazy, because I'm getting a cup. Okay. This is about to blow your freaking mind.
Starting point is 00:22:21 I, it depends on where I am. But if you're taking a photo. And if I'm taking a photo your friggin mind. It depends on where I am. But if I'm- And if you're taking a photo. And if I'm taking a photo. If I'm taking a photo, we're going cone. We're going cone. But I'm not talking about photo. I'm talking about authentically you, not for the camera.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Authentically me, not for the camera. I like to get a cone because I do like the taste of the cone and I like to start out with like eating the cone. But then sometimes I get sick of the ice cream, but I don't want to throw it out. So I will also ask for an additional cup, and then I'll just put the ice cream right in there, and then I'll spoon off the ice cream as much as I want.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Then I'll pick the cone back up with a little bit of ice cream on it, and then I eat it. So you're a high maintenance. Beyond high maintenance. I have a process. Because here's the thing, I feel like,
Starting point is 00:23:05 up until like a couple years ago. You started a full LLC to eat ice cream. When I was younger, like in the summer, my dad, honestly, I don't know how he didn't like gain a thousand pounds, every single night in the summer, my dad would stop and get me ice cream. Like every, I'm not kidding, every single night, right when I got out of school, until I went back, we had ice cream every single night.
Starting point is 00:23:30 He would take me to Friendly's. I'd get the same thing every time. My dad loved Friendly's. My dad would do this thing where we'd be like playing a game or golf or something, and whatever I'd do, he'd be like, if you get it in, I'll get you a milkshake. And he'd just keep doing that until, so he could get a milkshake.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Right. So he would play that game. Not a huge milkshake, girl. Milkshakes are overrated. Like, take it or leave it. Take it or leave it. I mean, they're so good, but like, you feel sick. Yeah, you can have like a few sips.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Like, I'd rather eat the ice cream than really get a milkshake. My thing is, do you actually like the taste of waffle cones? Or do you like the sugar cone? I like the sugar cones. Okay, thank you. Let's raise awareness on that. Okay, I have actually never ordered,
Starting point is 00:24:12 like I don't actively get a waffle cone. You have to say, can I have the sugar cone? Okay, good, we're on the same page, because waffle cone, it's cardboard. No, waffle cones are not good. They're not good. They just have good PR. They have amazing PR.
Starting point is 00:24:24 And you wanna know what it is? It's the structure of their body. Like the body of a waffle cone, it's different. It's unique. It's matched. Yeah, it's just never been done before. Where like the sugar cone is like its frumpy cousin. And it's like nobody cares about the sugar cone.
Starting point is 00:24:39 But it gets it done. It gets the job done. My thing is I think I'm too spastic for a cone. I think I'd be talking and I would like get excited about something and then like my, I'd fling it or I would crack it. I was so high maintenance that like eating ice cream with my mom,
Starting point is 00:24:58 like I'd eat it for a little bit and then I'd give it to her and say, please clean it. You needed a team. You needed a team. Please clean it up for me. How would she clean it? She would clean up the parts that were like dripping and then she'd give it back to me and then I'd it. You needed a team. Please clean it up for me. Oh, how would she clean it? She would clean up the parts that were dripping and then she'd give it back to me and then I'd eat. You're a monster.
Starting point is 00:25:08 No, I was a fool. I hated anything that was gonna get me dirty. Yeah, I didn't want it dripping on me. I would freak out. I really couldn't even play with the neighborhood kids because I was like, mom, they're so dirty. They're messy. So we shot something last week together
Starting point is 00:25:26 and we're at the hotel. I didn't even wanna talk about it. No. It was actually really upsetting. No. Hannah and I had to do something the other day. We were so excited to shoot something. No one ran up by us.
Starting point is 00:25:36 The call time was 4.30 in the morning. 4.30 a.m. So we'd wake up at like 3.40. I mean, I couldn't even believe we went to bed I remember waking up and just being like this is illegal. No for sure was illegal and someone's getting arrested It's child labor But it was so funny cuz I didn't wake up with like morning face cuz I still We hadn't hit a REM. The REM hadn't hit. I was like, this is amazing.
Starting point is 00:26:06 I'd rather do this than shoot at like 9am. But I got there and it's fucking, it's hot. It's a summer. I forgot my Stanley there. Oh no. This is my backup Stanley. The one that I brought, anyway. She leaves her Stanley everywhere. This is the Stanley you brought.
Starting point is 00:26:22 It's crazy because it's the biggest Stanley I've ever seen. How do you not walk into it when you're trying to leave? You know when I was walking out of the shoot and I was like, I feel like I'm forgetting something. And I'm like, I'm not. And it was my freaking Stanley. Well, you're a mother now. There's a lot going on.
Starting point is 00:26:34 I have so much to think about. But I was in the hotel room at like 5 AM, air conditioning, and sweating. And I was just like, it's really fucking hot. And they were like, it's funny because we did a shoot with Paige the day before. It was 90 degrees in a school place or something that had no AC and she didn't sweat. Wait, wait, okay.
Starting point is 00:26:57 I did this photo shoot last week and it was probably one of the most fun shoots I've done, one of the most things I'm've done one of like the most like things I'm so excited to come out in September Well, it's like seems artsy. It was very artsy It was very like back-to-school vibe almost but you're trying to get limited to Guys this could have been us He's just sending them all these
Starting point is 00:27:23 Like could be us, but you're playing. And so they called me and they were like, we're so sorry, but there's no air conditioning here. And it was like one of the hottest days of the year. See that? If I was... The shoot's canceled. And I was like, oh my God, totally fine. I go, everyone's going to drown.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Well, here's what I said. I go, as a child model, because when I legit did do limited two, all the back to school shoots were in the summer. So like your shoot, like model shoots are opposite. So like you're shooting winter stuff in the summer. So you're in full coats and you're in whatever. Like they would have to like make sure you had water
Starting point is 00:28:04 and like didn't pass out. I can't wait for the documentary to come out about just me and literally you had to wear coats when it was 80 degrees and nobody asked if we were okay um so I was like I was like I totally get it I'm used to that like I I can wear the coats and I really legitimately did not sweat. Like they had this big. He said everyone was dying of sweat and you were just like. My assistant had to walk out
Starting point is 00:28:34 because she thought she was gonna pass out. I looked over at her at one point and she had taken her pants and pulled them all the way up to her thighs. She's me, I am her. And like took off her shirt and was just like. She couldn't even take content that day. She was like, I'm so uncomfortable. Her phone off her shirt and was just like, she couldn't even take content that day. She was like, I'm so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Her phone was just slipping off her hand. No, literally. And so people had to like step out and I was like, let's keep going, like next shot, like I'm ready to go. I don't think I can ever be fully accepted by the fashion world because of my sweating. And that's what I tell myself when I don't get an email from Dior.
Starting point is 00:29:01 I wonder though if it's, that's not great for me that I don't. Sweat from Dior. I wonder though if it's, that's not great for me, that I don't. Sweat? Well, I was sweating. Does it come out on like your back or something? Like where is it coming out? No, I was sweating a little on my back. I sweat a lot under like, under my hairline.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Well that's perfect, cause no one sees it. But here's the other thing, other thing. I had about 2000 pounds worth of hair extensions in my hair. So I was, it was like I had a 2,000 pounds worth of hair extensions in my hair. So I was, it was like I had a fur hat on for the entire day. Wait, I'm so dumb. I was like, her hair is so long right now. Oh, in those pictures? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Like I really thought your hair grew the last week. Did I show you those pictures? No, but I think you posted like a BTS of you lying down. Yeah, and I think you posted like a BTS of you lying down. Yeah, and I had hair extensions. What's your favorite hair length of all time? Say it now. Say it now.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Wait, that just sounded so like, what's your favorite movie of all time? What's your favorite color? What's my favorite hair length of all time? I either liked when I had my short, short bob, or when I had my long, bob or when I like had my long long hair. Like I used to have hair like down to my leg. I know and you like wear it to the side. Yeah. Your old reporting days. My old clubbing days. We
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Starting point is 00:31:16 with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash giggly. That's drinkag1.com slash giggly. Check it out. This story is presented by Vizi and Acas Creative. As you guys know, I just shot my Netflix special and it was a perfect night except there was one thing missing. The week before I had tried the new Vizi Maxx Hard Seltzer 7% pack in Canada. It was so good.
Starting point is 00:31:39 I've been obsessed. The flavors are really exotic twists that taste just as good as they sound. Papaya, pineapple, dragon fruit, mango, mango, blueberry white peach, passion fruit kiwi. It's perfect for summer at 150 calories. And after my special, I was like, you know what I need? Vizzy Maxx. I wish I had it so bad. And there's so many seltzers out there.
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Starting point is 00:32:19 Whether that's getting ready for a night out or celebrating after a great show, Vizzy has the flavor for your vibe. By the way, I told you I call everyone Paige. I call my cat Paige. I call my mom Paige. It's because I literally was like, but Paige, but but Paige. I get out of my head. Yeah. So we have to.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I did sports broadcasting at University of Wisconsin. Close to around the time that you did, what reporting was that that you were doing? You know, when you're like on a desk, when you first had Instagram and you were like talking to camera. That was my first job. I was like trying to make videos to like put on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:32:58 News videos. But I did. We have to do a compilation. I worked at like a news station and would do like. Was it in? In Albany. Albany. Albany CBS 6, I interned there for two years.
Starting point is 00:33:09 I'm obsessed with that. So yeah, we have to do a compilation video. If I didn't move to New York City, I probably would have stayed and done my local news. You would have been like, I don't know if you could do weather. Well, no, you have to go to school for weather. Oh, you have to like...
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah, that's like... See, that's okay. Meteorology is actually like, yeah, like you have to go to school for weather. Oh, you have to like, see that's okay. Meteorology is actually like, yeah, like you have to go to school for that and like, no. You can't just like one day be like, and now I'll do the fucking weather bitch. Why don't they have a meteor person, like why don't they have the meteors like,
Starting point is 00:33:41 tell you and then you just say it? Like the people who do the news are not like investigating on the spot all the time. Well, most of them are though. Like most of that is the whole thing about being a news reporter is like you are the reporter. Okay, like the nightly news, like those anchors, yeah, no, they're reading.
Starting point is 00:34:00 But like the field reporters, they're the ones that's being a journalist. I think there's a lot to ask. That's being a journalist. I think that's a lot to ask for the meteorologist. That was your major too. No, I didn't get into journalism school. I was communications, very different. Journalism at Wisconsin was like, people are winning. I was communications, but I was focused in journalism.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Your college is canceled. Sorry, you know what? Do you know what? Wait, did I tell you I talked to Jimmy Fallon about you? No, you didn't tell me. Did you say that I went to St. Rose? Well, there's this whole thing that afterwards, you sit down on the couch,
Starting point is 00:34:34 and then you have like 30 seconds that you have to not embarrass yourself in front of Jimmy Fallon. And he was laughing at the Q-tip joke, and I was like, haha. And then I go, by the way, my best friend Paige and my cousin, Gianna went to St. Rose. And he goes, no.
Starting point is 00:34:49 And I go, and it's canceled, what the hell? And he's like, yeah, like of course I'm the alumni of a school that gets canceled. And I was like, yeah. No, he's like the most famous to come out of. You and Jimmy. Just. And my cousin, Gianna.
Starting point is 00:35:03 No, literally. So where is she going to school now? I don't know. To... And my cousin, Gianna. No, literally. So where is she going to school now? I don't know. To be honest, I have no idea. No, because I feel like one day they just literally sent everyone an email and be like, hey guys. She's in New Jersey and honestly when someone goes to college in New Jersey, if it's not Rutgers, I get very confused. Yeah. There's like NJITFs, JA that. Next question, because I have a lot of questions for you. Have you worn jorts yet? I can't do it, Hannah.
Starting point is 00:35:31 I can't do it because Because you don't- I have a short torso. I feel like, no, I could do it. But I just like can't. It doesn't- It's not my- It goes against everything you stand for. And work and represent,'t. It doesn't. It's not my. It goes against everything you.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Stand for. Yeah. And work and represent, yeah. But you did. It would be like if one day I was just like Jorts and Crocs. And like. And a jersey.
Starting point is 00:35:54 And a jersey. A crop jersey. I could do a crop jersey. Did you want to tell everyone what you said about my outfit on Call Her Daddy? I texted it. No, I said this to your face. Fully to my face.
Starting point is 00:36:06 I low key loved it. But here's the thing, I loved you in it. Okay, you're making your point clear. I don't, I'm not trying to force that outfit on other people. This is the problem about me having a stylist who I love and understands me. She lets me be a stylist who I love and understands me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:25 She lets me be a little too much, which I love, because she was like, what do you want to do for Call Her Daddy? You give them an idea. This is the vibe I want. And I go, Billie Eilish, NYX. I did NYX. Love that at Barstool you were wearing a shirt that said Meats. I don't think people were picking up on it enough.
Starting point is 00:36:44 I didn't get enough credit. The Mets also messaged me. I don't think people were picking up on it enough. I didn't get enough credit. The Mets also messaged me. I don't think they realized it was a Meets shirt. Wait. What did they say? They were like, hey, we'd love for you to throw the first pitch, possibly maybe, one day. And Des was like, she's a fucking Yankees fan.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Oh, what's going on here? Is that not the outfit? No. Oh, that's the Call Her Daddy outfit. Yeah, that's the Call Her Daddy outfit. I was like, oh, that's the Knicks. Oh What's going on here? No, oh, that's a caller daddy It's from this Instagram you've gone really sporty this week so sporty it's called old Jewish men That's the Instagram that I got the meat shirt from and I am a meds fan Just half my fit my family's meds have his Yankees I can't choose, but I can depending on how they're doing in the year. And I would like to do that first pitch. And also your ex-boyfriend played for the Yankees, and so it's like, oh.
Starting point is 00:37:29 It's a whole thing. Yeah, well, you have to bring that up. People still send me that. Speaking of sports, have you watched any of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders documentary? Okay, so Grace was actually telling me to watch it, and I got upset after the first three minutes I got too upset wait I got like emotionally upset. No elaborate. When they were going
Starting point is 00:37:53 through which girls were like ugly or pretty enough I couldn't do it I was like leave these women alone they're all perfect. Did you ever watch the original show? No. That was on TLC? No. That was on TLC. Brutal. Absolutely brutal. Yeah, apparently they've gotten so much better.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Whatever really was happening was edited out, I'm sure. Like, yes, it's- One of the girls is in trouble because she was like, yeah, like, we have eating disorders. And someone was really like, some girls are mean. And they are like so mad at her for saying that. No, it's- I was like, isn't that the point?
Starting point is 00:38:26 I actually, I haven't finished it. I will say, I think it's shot like beautifully. Like it's a really good way, like they put it together. I don't know, it's like the production value of it, I think is really good. There are like some things where I'm like, is anyone talking about this online? Well, this is the thing, I don't think,
Starting point is 00:38:44 I haven't watched it, so there's no evidence, but like, do they realize that people are like, this is insane, but they're filming it like, this is cool. I kind of feel like Texas in general is like in a little bit of a bubble. Oh for sure. Like they're in their own kind of like world, and they go by their own rules,
Starting point is 00:39:01 so I feel like it's almost like, if you don't live in Texas, like you wouldn't get it it kind of thing. Also, full respect, cheerleading is such a difficult sport. Just the concept of when it's used purely to root on men, I can't. Well, yeah. Imagine your whole sport is to support a man. And it was like, and it did touch on eating disorders, but like it wasn't giving the root of, it was like, but it's because of you guys. Like, are we all acting like, oh, she- It's her problem, she made it up.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Yeah, like it's her problem. Like you're not weighing her every time she walks in. She did it to herself type of thing. It's like, okay, but this is directly from you guys. Yeah, yeah. And so that part is a little bit awkward and like uncomfy. I couldn't get past the first three minutes
Starting point is 00:39:49 when they were basically like turning down girls because they weren't pretty enough, especially when like it was their idea of pretty. Okay, well then you would have never gotten through the episodes when they're literally cutting people because these- No, I can't, the cutting. Because before they cut, they cut the people.
Starting point is 00:40:04 When they would the people. When they crush people's dreams. Hannah, there's a full makeover day that they- The salon? No, literally that like, this is before they've even gotten the full team. Like they're in training camp right now. And so they do like a full makeover day
Starting point is 00:40:20 and they like bring all the girls into a salon. Like America's next top model. Yep. She's like, you're going blonde. And then they look at each one and they're like, and now you're gonna be a redhead. And this is too, you need highlights. And these women are good at this because they know what images work
Starting point is 00:40:34 of what men think is hot. Like they're basically changing them for the male gaze. I don't know what the criteria is. Exactly, that's why it was so weird. It was just these older women being like, she should definitely go blonde. And then they do the outfit fittings. And it's like the skinniest girls
Starting point is 00:40:53 you've ever seen in your life. And they're like, hmm, I'm not loving the way that's sitting on you. And I'm just like, The way? I would have torched them. No, and the women that are telling, and then they're cutting the girls,
Starting point is 00:41:08 and the girls are devastated. And they're like- Yeah, because they haven't eaten for nine months. And they're starving. And they're starving. And so they're like, can you please, like it's almost like they cut you with no warning. They're like, look, we think,
Starting point is 00:41:18 they gaslight the fuck out of them too. They're like, you're so busy. How would you even- Busy trying to become a Dallas Truer. I know I can do it, like give me another week, like I'll nail it, and they're like, no, we just don't think that you'll get it in that time. And so the way they let them go too is devastating.
Starting point is 00:41:39 It's all just on their weird vibes. It's not like, oh, you won this match, so you get to the next round. It's like, we just, your energy that you were bringing to the function wasn't right. It wasn't right. And here's the other thing, this is gonna be a little bit of a controversial statement.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I don't think I respect anyone that much to let them tell me, like, you should change this about how you look and you're not gonna be able to get this in one week. Like, I love revenge. So like if someone was saying that to me, I feel like I would've stood up and been like, let me tell you about you yourself for a second. No, but this is the thing.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Have you ever looked in the mirror? Who told you you could be a redhead? This is the thing. Like that shit. This is the thing. Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is the ultimate. It's not like, oh, I'm gonna leave and do better. Like this is the best of cheerleading. Like they are the ultimate it's not like oh, I'm gonna leave and do better like this is the best of
Starting point is 00:42:28 Cheerleading like they are the ultimate so it's like you're not gonna Get to like the best job and be like fuck you guys It's all I want yeah, we would I mean I would yeah But I'm saying if you really want to be a cheerleader like if I got my dream. What is my dream job? We're doing it though, so like yeah Look let's be honest. We're at a point. We don yeah, we can't we can't who are we gonna say? Look, let's be honest. We're at a point. We don't we're not good with bosses. I guess here's the thing I just wanted to go in and hug a lot of them and be like I'll stand like I'm gonna say it in a way. I think you'll get it cuz we've all been there. Okay, the boy you're obsessed with
Starting point is 00:43:01 He looks at you. Yeah, and he's like, I think you look really pretty when your hair's a little shorter. Like you have it. You're like, okay. That's literally. Hold on a second. I feel like, oh my God, it's crazy because I was cutting my hair as we,
Starting point is 00:43:13 I literally was cutting my hair when you walked in. Let me, I'm trying to think. Like when's the last time that's happened to me and I've been like, yep, I got it. That took all of one second. All of one second. I was like obsessed with this guy and he dressed like very quirky.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Like very like. What did he do? He like didn't even do anything. I just like knew what his style was. And so like I went on ASOS one time and I remember like I was gonna be like with my friends for like two days straight. And I was like, okay, I need to get like quirky outfits. He's gonna be like that's so cool
Starting point is 00:43:49 Your mom must have been furious No, I'll never forget it. It was like I got this like polo dress That was like long sleeves would have like different colors, and I remember her holding it up at one point and goes what is this? Don't ever wear this. I was like it was a phase. I went through Talking to Kate Kennedy about this and I was telling her about how my best friend who Not doing well in school at the time. Yeah. Memorized the entire Yankees roster Yeah, so a guy who liked the Yankees would like her and I was like you can't do math Like you can't even spell and you memorized Everyone in their positions for dick like this is crazy But he's in my 20s like I when there was like a lull in dating or I was just like over everyone
Starting point is 00:44:33 Yeah, I would go on the Yankees roster so that I knew what they looked like so that If ever I ran into one about town, I would know that was a Yankee Yeah, I mean that is part of the game. If you're being a Jersey chaser, you gotta know who they are. That's true. That's the first rule of Jersey chasing. Yeah. Also, do you know like how moms get crazy strength?
Starting point is 00:44:56 Like if- Like a drunk, yeah. Yeah, like if their baby's under a car, they'll like lift a car. That's just what I heard. You get like crazy crush strength where like you can do insane things. No.
Starting point is 00:45:05 My stamina when I have a crush is unmatched. Do you feel like you're like, you get elevated in like all your senses? Like you like can see him from like 500 feet, peripheral vision, you know where he is cause he's your crush and you're like, everyone shut up, I'm watching him from the side. Like in a dark pitch black club
Starting point is 00:45:25 I can see his eyes, and I can see who he's talking to like I'm super No, it's kind of scary and then even in the bedroom you're like I've never done this position before but today This is what I do. This is my thing. I pulled every like trying to experience into trying new experiences. I love it in the moment. I'm just so easy and go with the flow. But you know what? I do think dating gets harder in your 30s
Starting point is 00:45:50 in a good way where just a lot of women are like, yeah, I'm not doing that. So then they have to wait. Yeah, well you're more authentically yourself. Honestly, that's like, I would be scared right now to be actually out dating because sometimes I think about, okay, what would I be like if I was scared right now to be actually out dating because sometimes I think about, okay, what would I be like if I was single right now
Starting point is 00:46:07 at 31 because it's so drastically different than when I was single at 27. Because you're like, don't tempt me to be alone. Don't tempt me to leave this. I would love to leave this date. And I'm like, oh, I'd be a shut-in. Like I wouldn't. And anything, now I think if I went on a first date and someone said
Starting point is 00:46:26 something where like five, six years ago I'm like, he's seiny, he doesn't shower, he's like all natural. Like now if someone said something that I would leave. I'd be like, look I gotta go home. I don't have time for this. When you're 20s you'll literally be like, wait, this is a new kind of guy that I've never experienced before and he's gonna teach me all these new things about hygiene
Starting point is 00:46:49 that I didn't know. And now I'd just be like, blocked. Get outta here. Shout out to the girls who are dating because do you know how it's so hard to engage with any man? You have to meet a new man multiple times a week when you're dating. Which is unsafe.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Not me, not now. The energy they bring to functions. No, that's the other thing. They're taking on their energy. It's just like, no. Yeah. Multiple first dates. I couldn't. I can't.
Starting point is 00:47:16 If I was single right now, I think I'd legitimately have to... I wouldn't date for like a while. I would FaceTime. I would FaceTime. I would just do FaceTime and then I wouldn't have the balls to be like, I don't think for like a while. I would FaceTime. I would FaceTime. I would just do FaceTime and then I wouldn't have the balls to be like, I don't think this is working out. I'd be like, oh no, I'm under a bridge.
Starting point is 00:47:31 I think I would do like one date a month, like truly. On FaceTime. Yeah, like I wouldn't, I couldn't. Or it would be like you're at work, well we don't have a work, but you'd be like somewhere you wanna go and you'll be like, you can stop by. I hate when people stop by.
Starting point is 00:47:46 No I know. I also finally watched the Brandy Hellville documentary which I feel like you didn't- Brandy Melville. Brandy Melville. Was it- Brandy Hellville? I think Hellville was the name of the documentary or did I make that up? Oh was it?
Starting point is 00:47:59 I think you made that up. I don't think you did it justice. You were just like- Did it justice what? As in you were like yeah it was like bad company. Oh did I even talk about it? You very just like... Did it justice what? As in you were like, yeah, it was like bad company. Oh, did I even talk about it? You very vaguely talked about it. And then I was like, I don't wanna watch it.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Honestly, I didn't really like... Watch it. You're the documentary girl. Yeah. I watched it, but also like I was on my phone. Give me a fucking break. I watched it the way everybody else watches a documentary and that's on your fucking phone.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Well, I didn't finish it it but like it's fucked up. Brandy Melville is run by a weird Italian man. Is he Italian? He's an Italian man who like started. I thought he was Russian. He's Italian but he had some Russian guys under him. Like it's a full mob. Mafia, whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:41 So in Italy, in Prato, there's all these Chinese factories. So it says made in Italy, but it's literally like, it's a Chinese factory. And he wasn't selling that well in Italy, so he just started Googling U.S. trends and then just did one size. You know they have doors that's purposely hard to get into because they only want skinny people in it?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Like the doors are like really narrow. I really missed that part. No, it's crazy. I missed the skinny door part, for sure. You literally have to walk in, it's like the skinniest door to fit. And their whole thing was, when anyone wanted to work there,
Starting point is 00:49:17 they had to take a photo and send it to the head guy, and he would say yes or no, based on if she was pretty and skinny. And then their job was whenever they saw a girl who was pretty to take a photo. So if you're just like shopping there, they go, hey, can we take a style shot of you for research? And they take it, send it to him,
Starting point is 00:49:32 and then he'd be like, hire her on the spot. So they just would hire girls based on being pretty. And then they would take photos of what these girls were wearing and then immediately replicate whatever their outfit was. And that's the entire business model. And then they would take these like cool, like 16 16 17 year old girls and fly them like first class to China or Italy and just have them like look through everything and at first
Starting point is 00:49:54 you're like this is so cool women in the arts yeah girls power but they're like these girls are doing jobs that like a full sea level team would do and they're getting paid in like nothing but the girls are like, we got a free hotel room. And it's like, you guys should be paying. They're like, this is an honor to be asked. Exactly. And it's like, that's actually highly illegal.
Starting point is 00:50:13 And then they would basically. That's legitimate child labor. And it's basically like the Dallas cheerleaders where they're both cults. And if the girls gained any weight, they'd get fired. People aren't talking about that. How it's a cult. Yeah. It's a cult.
Starting point is 00:50:25 It's a full cult. Yeah. The Dallas Cowboys. I feel like if you have to dye or cut your hair, it's a cult. Wait. New criteria. For cults. If you have to change your hair, you're in a cult.
Starting point is 00:50:40 You're in a cult. Because in what other situation? Do you have to cut your hair? Yeah. Unless the only acceptable one is like, if you are a model and you're doing like some type of campaign and they're like, this is the vibe for this like one picture. Will you like, can we do this?
Starting point is 00:50:57 Yeah. That's different. Because then you get to leave and go home at the end. Yes. But modeling is a little culty too. It definitely has culty vibes. For sure. You can get caught up in the wrong situation.
Starting point is 00:51:08 But, such a good point. But I just want people to understand that Brandy Melville is not like a bunch of like, even if it was a bunch of like evil women running it, at least it's women running it. The fact that it's like an evil creepy man makes it so much worse. And it's like for teens, like that makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, so it's like an evil creepy man makes it so much worse. For teens, like that makes me uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:51:25 Yeah. So it's like... I never went... Like I never was in the Brandy Melville space. I don't know. We didn't have one where I lived. I remember walking in and it was just like a fucking disaster. I remember walking in one time realizing it was one size fits all.
Starting point is 00:51:38 And I was like, well, that's like, that doesn't work. How does that work? And then like walking out. I'm confused. Never went through that. It was very California. Yeah, what's that other store that everyone loved in New York City?
Starting point is 00:51:48 American. Not American Apparel. I was obsessed with American Apparel. L, something fours? No, L, XL. Hey, Jan. I don't know, but I remember all the girls from my PR like internship would go there after work, and I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:52:05 these are the most disgusting clothes I've ever seen. Why are you guys all obsessed with this? Yeah. And leaving. It's very culty. Very culty. So yeah, everyone should just know about that. I'm not taking down a small business.
Starting point is 00:52:18 I'm taking down a cult. A conglomerate. A conglomerate. I watched some of the Simone Biles. I watched it all. Tell me everything. I love her. I'm obsessed with her.
Starting point is 00:52:29 How funny is she? No. Like goofy, cute, obsessed. I'm so- Put her in my pocket. No, I'm so obsessed with her and what she's doing for like women in general, women in sports obviously, and just like mental health. And the fact that she, like, I feel like no one talks about
Starting point is 00:52:47 if your mind is not connected to your body, you literally can't do anything. And the fact that she called her mom right after she pulls out of the Olympics and says, I can't do it. And her mom says, then don't do it. Like that moment. Her mom was so awesome there.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Cause her mom could have been like, what are you doing? We're all here watching you. You ruined everyone's night. What do you do? Like she could have been like. Yeah, she could have been like very coachy and Simone was like, I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:53:16 And she's like, don't do it. When the mom was like, don't. You know what you're doing, you're not doing it. And you could tell that she was just like. She just needed her mom's like reassurance. And then she like walks up. And her mom was clearly fine. When she walks out, she goes, she's pulled out.
Starting point is 00:53:26 It's fine, we're good. Yeah, then when she goes back to sit down, she's out, like it's fine, next. Like I loved that energy. Yeah, because everyone, like we've been, I remember there's a lot of situations where you feel like you need to impress your family and everyone's there supporting you.
Starting point is 00:53:41 And like everyone's watching. Everyone's watching, that kind of thing. And oh my God, I had such bad, I just had chills because, you know what, they call it the twisties, but it's basically, if you, it's like the yips. Are you familiar with the yips? I am not.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Okay, so the yips, I suffer from the yips a lot in tennis. It was really bad, but it's like you get it in golf, you get it in sports. There's like in baseball, I think it was really bad. But it's like, you get it in golf, you get it in sports. There's like in baseball, I think it was Chuck, somebody on the Yankees, like got the yips and he literally couldn't throw from second base to first base. It's literally where you just get in your head
Starting point is 00:54:17 about something. And then your body won't do it. And you psych yourself out and you like can't do it. It's basically a severe anxiety disorder with performance. So it's like how people get into slumps. It's kind of like that but like Yips is like, Tiger Woods when he was coming back like couldn't chip for a while. It's like writer's block. It's exactly like writer's block. So the thing with Tiger Woods when he has the Yips with chipping
Starting point is 00:54:41 it's embarrassing like an amateur golfer can chip better than him. Honestly, that sounds like an ice cream parlor. Yip and chip. Yip and chip. I love it. I really love it. But if Simone Biles gets the yips, she could crack her skull open. Well, right.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Which, like, people were not understanding. Yeah, people were, like, I feel like talking about that. Like, she could break her neck and be paralyzed. And yeah. And she wasn't going for, like like she has to go for insane moves. So like the moves she was doing like she could paralyze herself. It's crazy that like she changed the rules too because she's so good. Oh yeah she has full
Starting point is 00:55:20 moves named after her and stuff. But the thing is she was like she's a human. And no one can understand the pressure of being the face of the Olympics. Right. I mean, Michael Phelps had to smoke weed to get through it. But like, it's to be human and then be put like a superhero. Yep.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Like the stuff that she was battling, and then it's true, she had a lot of past trauma from a lot of forms of abuse. And like with performance, and that's why, not to make it about my Netflix special, but like I felt like past stuff coming up when like a pressure moment arises. Like your demons are like, ooh, we like this scary feeling.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Like this is where we live. It's like bacteria like thriving. It's like, yes, we like this scary feeling. This is where we live. It's like bacteria thriving. It's like, yes, this is where time shines. Yeah, and I think her basically being like, I'm gonna protect myself. And yeah, she was so depressed after, but she's coming back to Tokyo. And then when I'm watching it,
Starting point is 00:56:22 she was like, I never thought I'd be doing gymnastics at this point in my life And I'm like oh damn how old is she? Yeah, she's like and she's like and I'm 27 and I'm like okay, you know well gymnast they have like 13 No, it's crazy and talk about a sport with like beauty and yeah Like their bodies had to look a certain way also It was like primarily white girls who would wear these like little bangs. Like it was all about these like weird,
Starting point is 00:56:50 it looked culty. Weird haircuts. It looked like an Amish institution. No, weird haircuts. But everyone was like, it's the skinny blonde girl with bangs is how you have to look. So then like when Gabby Douglas won,
Starting point is 00:57:02 everyone was like, why does her hair look like that? And it's like, cause she doesn't have blonde bangs right and why does that have anything to do with with her performance? so Simone Biles Holy shit. She's incredible and her whole thing was just like yeah She had some mental blocks and I think the documentary is so good And like it just made me jacked up for the Olympics this year. But now I'm nervous. But this is the thing.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Doesn't everyone have mental blocks in their own way? Yeah. And it's like, when you're dealing with that kind of pressure, you're- I could name five right now. Your mental blocks just get exposed. And that was when I played tennis, I couldn't. I lost my second serve.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Not your second serve. My second serve. What happened in the first one? The first one was fine. Second serve, not good. Well it's because the second serve is a different kind of serve than the first serve. Cause you like have to get it in.
Starting point is 00:57:53 It's like more pressure and it's more spin on it. And I tried to change my grip and it was this whole thing and next thing you know I like could not hit a second serve. And so then what happens? You just start like losing? I was hitting underhand like I was like It's like you walk on the court like I like everyone was like, oh Hannah's doing great question Specifically to tennis because gymnastics it's not like you're like going against someone
Starting point is 00:58:14 Yeah, if you're going against someone and you know, they have a mental block about something destroy them Yeah, are you like purposely? Yeah playing into it the way I would win was cause I was insane. Like I had so many mental blocks. The only way to win was to be like, I have issues, but this girl has even more issues. So like, let's say like you slice it to their back end and they miss, you go, and now we're going to do that
Starting point is 00:58:36 a thousand times until she wants to like chuck a racket out of the court. So tennis is just like. It sounds a little bit culty. It's a little bit culty, it is culty. It sounds a little culty. It is culty. It is scary. They did make you wear a ponytail. They didn't make you dye it or cut it, but you did have to wear it back. Did I tell you I got in huge trouble when I dyed my hair blonde?
Starting point is 00:58:55 From your tennis team? Yeah. I think I lost a match and my coach was really mad and he goes, and instead of practicing Hannah's over here dyeing her platinum blonde, and I was like whoa whoa whoa whoa? That's so Inappropriate no and like I'm sitting dude during practice He basically was saying that I wasn't focused enough Yeah, cuz I like dyed my hair and I was like I died my hair cuz I'm a fucking metal breakdown I've lost my identity sorry my friend just got a job at supercut
Starting point is 00:59:26 Okay, sorry for being supportive. So I'm a supportive woman of the arts and you have to go back because you clearly got the color wrong because it's kind of green. No, we got, well I also, I connected with Simone too because I would get in trouble for giggling and laughing during practice.
Starting point is 00:59:42 I remember I would laugh instead of crying, because it was like 6 a.m. We both don't talk about what a fine line that is. No, laughing and crying is the same thing. Wait, laughing and crying is literally the same thing. No, it's the same. This is a crying podcast. Like if I don't laugh, I think that's why we laugh so much.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Because we want to cry. We will cry. I'm just saying I never cry, because I laugh so much. Because it to cry. I never cry because I laugh so much because it's both it's a release of something. It's really not what we need to release but it's something. I love when we just figured out everything. Yeah. But also with the Simone Biles doc she's so yeah she's so sweet and fun and human and multifaceted. And even if she doesn't do well in the Olympics, the whole point in the Tokyo Olympics, the whole point is her just like being multifaceted and dealing with adversity and always just like being herself.
Starting point is 01:00:39 What did you think of her husband? Because that whole thing happened. I know this drama. this is my thing. And then it was like. I mean you can't tell from a cut up documentary what people really like. He seems super supportive. Seems super nice. A little too good looking for me to trust.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Take him serious. No, just to trust fully. We hate a good looking man. If he's too good looking I'm like. Yeah, something's there. We We hate a good looking man. I just, if he's too good looking, I'm like, Yeah, something's there. We're gonna keep an extra eye. We're just keeping an eye out. Keep an extra eye.
Starting point is 01:01:11 And also I'm- But I didn't like when she said, like when she left the Tokyo Olympics, like that is when she met her husband and like that is when she got married. Like, and she said that those were such a good two years for her and like her mentally she came back and she feels ready.
Starting point is 01:01:25 So I was like, oh. I do have to say a lot of people do meet their significant other when they're going through like a really dark time. It's like when you're going through like you have nothing left, like you're going through an ego death, like you have nothing. Like I always say, like, Des, when I met Des, I was crying like every night. Yeah. And he this man was like, that's going to be the mother of my children. But it's like I've never cried in front of a man since then. I haven't really night. Yeah. And he, this man was like, that's gonna be the mother of my children. But it's like, I've never cried in front of a man.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Since then, I haven't really cried. Right. But he met me in a time where I was like, dealing with really intense stuff. I feel like that's the universe, like does that. And it's like, here, I'm gonna help you out a little. Yeah, but it's like, there's something about being like, metaphorically naked.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Oh my God. Like you're actually raw cause you're like going through something. Spit roasted. Wait, should we start saying that? No. Absolutely not. Spit roasted.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Wait a second, should we do a t-shirt? I think we might lose a few people on that one. Oh my God. Okay, one final question I had for you. Okay. Spanx. Yeah. I love Spanx.
Starting point is 01:02:33 People wear it. Yep. How the fuck are you supposed to pee? Okay. Couple years ago, I said, what do we need Spanx for? Who's wearing, like who cares? Now, I love them.
Starting point is 01:02:50 I don't think I will ever wear a dress without them. Because I don't know if it's just getting older. I just feel secure. That's what it is, I feel secure. It's like a hug you didn't have when you were a kid. Yeah, like I just feel secure. And so I'm gonna say something that might be a little controversial and...
Starting point is 01:03:11 You don't drink liquids. No, I drink a full Stanley. Sometimes I'm a pull to the side girl. Well, this is my question. When it's the shorts. You're on your own. Cause I for Fallon put on the shorts that goes up to your rib cage. And the second I put it on, I go, You're on your own. Because I, for Fallon, put on the shorts that
Starting point is 01:03:25 goes up to your rib cage. And the second I put it on, I go, how am I going to get this off? Are you saying that they should cut a little hole? Well, skims, do you know what they have? No. They have this thing that, like, it's, I don't know how to describe it for people,
Starting point is 01:03:42 but it's like a crossover that you can pull and it opens up. But what if you peed on it a little? Like I rather, I, hmm. Cause when you pull and it opens up, you're not gonna pee on it. It's kinda like a guy when he pees. This is so sexual. No, I know, but I'm just saying like,
Starting point is 01:04:00 I think like we're- I've never worn the shorts, so I can't commiserate with your misery But I think I think you either have to pull to the side or you have to take it down Cuz when you sausage yourself up like yeah part of me is like someone give me a scissor No full sausage stuff. I'll give myself a labiaplasty. Yeah, if I need a pee No undergarments are so interesting because I just can't believe I'm here
Starting point is 01:04:28 and I'm wearing them. You know, like I thought never. I was like, I'll never have to, I'll never wear that. Like that's crazy. Like I remember seeing my mom like put stuff on and then like putting on a dress and like putting her Spanx on. I'm just like, how uncomfy.
Starting point is 01:04:42 And now I'm like, this is who I am now. Literally just wrap me up. Well it's like modern day corset. It literally is. Oh my God. But you can do levels, like there's like medium, extra tight. Yeah. Loose.
Starting point is 01:04:59 No, I can't do extra tight. Once my mom took off her Spanx and gave it to me before a show. I know, I was there. I'll never forget it. One of the highlights of my life, she was like, you can't wear that underwear here. And that's girlhood.
Starting point is 01:05:13 You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. We love you. Sign up for our newsletter. Rate, subscribe, review, swipe up. Anything else going on? I mean, we've been promoting. We've been asking the gigglers to do a lot of heavy lifting. We're like, anything else going on? Literally mean we've been promoting, we've been asking the gigglers to do a lot of heavy lifting. Literally the president stepped down today
Starting point is 01:05:28 and we're like, and that's it! Okay, we got nothing, see ya! Love you guys! Really, really nothing going on in the world. So bored. Bye!

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