Giggly Squad - Giggling about depressed vaginas, circumcision, and playboys

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

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What's up my giggly goldfish? Oh cute cute right? Very cute. I feel like goldfish or chic. I mean, I did have a goldfish and they did die to like the next day. I do remember crying as a child. They don't live a long time, but they live for a fun time. And I also think fish tanks are gross. They are. They are. The algae, you have to like clean it

and they're like dying all the time. It's, you know, like things that you think are like disgusting or just like, I'm never doing that. There's gonna be one point in our lives where like we have to do it because we have children. Like I have never thought about getting a hamster or like anything. I thought you were talking about cleaning up poop.

I think about that too often. Do you know how parents get decent times? Like cleaning up their poop. Yeah, like they get decent. Like if I even see my own poop, I gag. And I have adorable poops. And it's like someday I'm gonna have shit on my hands and be like whatever. Yeah.

Like even picking up Romeo's poop, I have like I need like five minutes to recover from it. Yeah, like I don't want a fucking gerbal. But I know that like I'm gonna be suckered into getting a gerbal. It's cause you know they're gonna die and then you have to explain death to your child. I'm not. I'm just gonna say it got a job. Successful, it got a job.

That's the way to focus in school so you can get a job. We'll live with this gerbal friend. I just realized goldfish is pretty privilege because compared to the other fish, they're like a decent color, and everyone treats them like they're better than all the other fish when they're just fucking fish. Yeah, they're slimy and gross. I don't see myself as a fish family.

A goldfish is a minnow that put on bronzer. Literally has like the best highlighter in the sea. Like you're still awesome. Also, what do you think of this trend that's starting on TikTok, where girls are straight up putting little round glitter dots around their eyes. Like the whole euphoria.

Yeah, I feel like you can't pull that off in your 30s. It looks like, no, you can't. You can't show up to a dinner in your 30s with diamonds encrusted on your eye. Yeah. You can be 22 and go to a bar with your 30s with diamonds encrusted on your eye. Yeah. You can be 22 and go to a bar with them. It's so cute. And it's adorable.

It looks like an art project gone wrong. It's like take care of your kids. Stop putting glitter on your face. Yeah, it's like you didn't or put into your retirement from this month and we know it. I love how much we've been talking about our unborn children the first three minutes of this pod. But speaking of unborn children, how's your VJJ?

Because I feel like you've been on a vagina journey and I want to know an update. I've been on a real vagina journey this past week. Like, I felt a UTI coming and I was like, it's fine. I'm just going to chug water because I feel like I've taken so many UTI antibiotics. That it's no call for you. I know that, like I've taken so many UTI antibiotics. That it's no cause. I'm scared that my vagina is gonna not react to them anymore,

so I try not take them. Like Justin Bieber would dope, I mean. Right. Like I don't want my vagina to be desensitized to the macrodantin that they give me every month. And it's just like nobody cares. I sent such a rage text to Craig, just blaming him for it.

He's like, oh, yeah, it's my fault that you don't pay. And I was like, no, yeah, like yeah, it actually is. Your pH not mixing with mine, we're just obviously off this week. It's like, okay, I don't know how I got dragged. I did care though. I feel like I texted you one too many times about it to the point that I'm like, am I being creepy as you're gonna have a giant.

No, he literally texted me three days in a row. I was like, how is she? But it's true. It's just taking a minute. Your vagina is your feminine core. So when your vagina is off, I feel like your whole vibe is off. Do you remember the sex in the city episode when Charlotte went to the doctor and she was like, your vagina's depressed?

That's how I felt this week. Cause I kept like looking down as if something was gonna like magically grow from it. I was like, how are we? Like I was like, I gave you so much water this morning. Do you think we could pee it out and we'll be fine? Or do you think it'll burn when we do it? Your vagina's like, I hate this body that's attached to me

and I just wanna not live in this life anymore. She's like burn when we do it? Your vagina's like, I hate this body that's attached to me, and I just want to not live in this life anymore. She's like, can we just nap? Yeah, and then the other thing, whether you, yeah, you can't sleep it off like other ailments. Oh, I know. Because you're like, oh, I'm so uncomfortable. Yeah. It's just a worst.

I also, do we blame the like weird vagina masks that you were promoting three weeks ago? No, because I haven't done them in a while. I'm actually gonna maybe do one today. Maybe it'll soothe her. But like I'm back and better. But also Craig tricks me. Like I'm like a can of sex because I'm getting off

of a UTI and like I need to just let her rest. Doesn't take no for an answer. He's like okay, but like maybe if we don't go hard. And then you just end up like giving in and then I'm like oh my fucking god it's burning again. And then he's jack hammering. You know what that means? You have to start doing anal.

No Hannah I can't. I literally can't. You'd rather the burning pain of your VJJ than the burning pain of your asshole. No, I just know that my pain tolerance is not there yet. Coming from a girl who were worse to let us for 12 hours straight because the outfit looks good. Nothing is supposed to go inside your asshole. That's the thing that I don't understand on how anal is such like a prominent thing that

people are out here doing because the body was not designed to shove things up your ass. For men, because of the prostate, it feels really good. Like they have a G spot there. For men for sure. For women, I don't know, but you can't, you can't. You can't say stuff is't. Someone's young. Also, you can't say stuff is not meant to go out, like, that you poop. There's a lot of...

Yeah, it's meant to come out. It's not meant to go in. I just am having a tough time with it, but you will be the first person that I tell when I first do anal. I'll text you while I'm doing that. I've never fully done anal before. Really? I told does I'm gonna do it on our wedding night and he like laughed like he liked it.

And the other day I was like, he was like, do we do the honeymoon right after? And I was like, oh, I know. Is we're gonna do anal? And he was like, for real though, like, I don't really care to do anal the night of my wedding. And I was like, really? I've been holding on. I rather not see shit all on your white wedding card. This is like the TikTok where it's like, I mean,

I was gonna say no, but why did you say no? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, that's such a thing. It's such a... Wait, I've... Whenever I hear Craig answer questions about like, if I'm gonna move to Charleston or not,

I'm like, no, like, I said that I wasn't moving down yet, but like, why did you say that I wasn't moving down yet? He's like, cause you're not. And I was like, well, now I'm gonna, just because you told everyone I'm not. I feel like you should just be by coastal. I mean, yeah, it's a brown, the same. You're practically ready.

Practically are. At people who have been bothering me saying, I haven't been doing enough dope documentaries and you know what? Today we're going full on in on some dope documentaries. Wow. Do you want me to just do it now? Yeah, just do it. The Kanye West documentary on Netflix.

Have you watched it? I've watched the first episode. There's only one episode out. Oh, yeah, so then yes as I was watching it, I felt my energy shift to being team Kanye West. I don't know if I can like pick a team, but I do have to say he is so I I don't want to use the word likable because I'm starting to hate that word, but you see Kanye on the come-up. You see this kid who has the most adorable mom Donda who calls him when she says his name it just makes me so happy. Yes, wait I noticed that too. When you first meet her when he goes to her apartment and she's like complimenting his necklace. Yeah.

Yeah. The angels are with you Kanye. The star of the documentary so far is Kanye West Retainer, which is getting a lot of screen time that I didn't expect like a rapper will come into a studio and be like, yeah, what's that? And he's like, you asked my retainer and he goes, don't put down the table. I like feel bad for him. I mean, obviously it's very hard to go from Chicago,

basically knowing no one, having nothing, and then being the number one rapper in the world. So Kanye knew that he was going to be the best. But the cute thing about this documentary is no one else did. Where he's obviously a genius in seventh grade. He's been making all these beats and selling it to people and watching them blow up like Jay Z the blueprint. He did the beats for age to the iso. Like he was fully respected on the scene, but then you see him basically say I want to be a rapper.

No one's respecting him. He goes to Jay-Z's office and is trying to play it for like the secretaries and they're getting distracted. And for a second, you feel so bad for him, because he's so bad, because he would just like walk out of the room because they'd start like talking to someone. That was the moment that I was like, fuck, I love Kanye West.

And then there's even the moment where he starts to get some good heat and momentum and he gets interviewed interviewed and he like didn't say one of his friends names in an article to credit him for his come up And his friend goes on this like radio show just like Ripping him apart tearing him apart. I can't you get so upset and Connie's like sorry, dude like I said it They didn't put it in and then his I love the rap game because the rappers are like, look, you're coming up and the haters are gonna come out. Yeah, like that's just what it is. Like you're on the scene.

So, I'm gonna get a diss track. Everyone's gonna start hating on you and they're gonna tear you apart and rip every single little detail up about you. But the crazy thing about Kanye is, I was getting ready for my show last night and I was like, I'm gonna have a Kanye moment and I'm playing his old songs.

And his old songs, it's like Bill Cosby, they show the future. Like he was saying it from the beginning, how he's scared of becoming too big and how no man should have so much power and how like his brain goes from like wanting to die to like being so happy to like can you get much higher. Like he's always thought about this stuff

and then I'm excited to see the next episode where I think they're gonna delve more into his actual mental health. And also just the fact that he like had the where with all this to like, just film everything we're doing and in 20 years, this is going to be very relevant. He met Kanye West is a master of manifestation. I was going to say he is such a manifesto where he even looks at the camera and he's like, no one thinks I'm going to be a rapper but I know I'm going to be the greatest of all

time. And that takes serious belief in yourself, despite literally big labels looking at you and being like, we know good rap and you're not it. What I also love about Kanye is how he said all the other rappers are talking about like killing each other. And he was like, I want to talk about my life and how I feel and like my relationships and my mental health.

And that's why him and K-Cutty got along because they were similar like that. But anyway, clearly I'm all in and I'm obsessed with it. I am too. And it actually kind of made me, I mean, I am a Kim Kardashian stan. I just love her. But it made me very like, well, you have empathy. Yeah.

I was just like, wait, but I love Kanye and like, he's not. I don't feel like that's the thing society tries to make people like evil. Yeah. There are some make people like evil. There are some people who are evil, but... And damn right, he should be mad that like Pete Davidson swooped in and is just like living the life that he built with Kim. So this is my question. Do you think Kanye's Outrageous Actions are going to cause problems between Kim and Pete? Like Pete's like, look, I can't deal with this. Or is it gonna make them stronger? Oh my god, Hannah. This is Barbara Waltership right now.

What did this turn into 60 minutes? We're supposed to giggle here. No, I actually, no, I think that, like, I think that Pete is, like, I think this, I don't think the relationship is PR stunt but I think that it's PR adjacent and like he's getting a lot of More eyes on him and it eventually is going to make his career even bigger But I think people get scared of like vulnerability like if you're in the public eye you're actually not allowed to be Yourself like you're not allowed to like how many times have you fought with someone and since some of the most insane text messages ever, and if they ever got out,

people would be like, she's a fucking crazy. Like, oh my God, like, see a therapist, take medicine. Like, no, that's just like being a human and having reactions. So Kanye's like every single thing Kanye does, people are just like, he's so crazy. He's so crazy. Like, okay, you probably are too,

but yours just aren't posted on TMZ. Or also, what would you do if you had the following he had and you know that everyone was gonna hear? It's just they're living in this crazy world where their decisions are not normal. I would never do that, but it's like, you don't know what it's actually like. And it's like, you kind of have to work through it

and private, okay, well work through it in private. Like, okay, well, that's stressful in itself. Yes, especially when everyone's saying all these bad things about him, but also it's scary, because you are the public eye, and he's posting private messages. And like, but it also makes me think, like, how long and how many times have they gone

through this with him? Do you know how he's had moments where he's done it? It's kind of like, I feel like they've also just been trying to like cover it all up for a while. Do you feel that? Because Kim doesn't like non-structured PR moves, I feel like. Yeah.

And this is a full on. He's talking about Cory Gamble. Have you seen that? I mean, he's gone, he's gone, roo. Then he's, wait, was he insinuating that Corey just like cheats on Chris? Which like I could say. But then he ends up being like, I loved Chris, Chris is the shit.

So like, it's hard to follow him, like you don't know. Yeah, I'm like, wait, who are we mad at? I'm like, his enemies are all over the place as the tennis player would say. Kanye and his enemy. Someone sent me a meme about the tinders when Lauren was like, if someone said my enemies are after me, I would just get the egg.

And I was like, wait, that's so true. I was just like, ew. I'm gross. Not mortgaging my house. I'm like grossed out by it. Also, I am proud of Dez, because every now and then, I feel like I keep him young. Yeah, he's in the now.

He did an uncut gems joke that was like super original. Did you see it? No. How about wait? How about the filter on TikTok with the eye shadow? You did that first and it wasn't a full. This is like that was three weeks ago. I was doing uncut gems and I was doing the full makeup look and I'm over it.

I'm over it and everyone now has a filter for it and they don't even have to be in the bathroom and embarrass themselves potentially on their fiance's brother walking in. But whatever. Right. They didn't have to go through that turmoil. No. But you know what? I felt the real Julia Fox.

I was her for like five minutes and those people did a filter. It's not the same. But they walked. So the filter could run. So does does this in-sistery talking about uncircumcised dicks Because does has an uncircumcised penis. Oh my god. Wait, we've never never spoken about it And I was like wait, so we're we haven't talked about your fiance It's so crazy because we've talked about everything but but he basically

Starts talking about it and then he goes from now on you can all call my uncircumcised penis on cut jumps. Why? I don't know why. I haven't thought about does his penis more in my everyday life. But like, it didn't even run through my mind that, yeah, he would be uncircumcised since European. Well, we had this full talk about it where he's like, it's so weird that in America they call it on circumcise as if you like undid something when it's like, that's just how it came out.

Right. Why do they do it? They think it's like a cleanliness thing? A cleanliness thing. It's definitely a lot of religion is involved, but some people argue that like, it's not consensual to just cut a baby's skin off. Wow. I would agree with that.

But that's been normalized. You have to clean it more, I guess, but it also is way more sensitive. During a blow job, there's more. When it's cut. No, when it's uncut. When it's uncut, there's more places. Just to give you a lot.

Years and years of women setting ourselves up for failure. You know like we have to work harder. We did it to ourselves. We cut them so we work harder. I can't. Do you remember the first-hand circumcised Dickey we ever saw? Yeah I do. What happened? I do remember it. I was on Yacht Week with one of my bunch of my friends. One morning I was one of my, with a bunch of my friends. And one morning, I wanted my girlfriends, one of my girlfriends, like slept on another boat. And when I tell you, I saw her sprinting down the dock back to our boat to tell me that it was the first time

she saw one. And I was like, oh my God, that's crazy. Like what do we do? Like, Juicy, I don't know, I'm just shook. I'm not kidding you 24 hours later. I did the same thing. I ran down the dock and I was like, Amanda, you will never guess what I just said. And she's like, I actually can, I actually can. Um, I feel like also guys have different lanes of the extra skin, like sometimes it goes way over and it looks like a full antider. And sometimes it kind of just looks normal. Or they just pull back a little and it seems

like a thin circumcise. But the first time I saw one was a basketball player out with Conson and I did not envision that for him. So I just looked at it, but I was like I wanted to behave. I didn't want to embarrass him and I just said, you can't look directly at him. You have to glance. You have to side eye. You have to side eye. You have to side eye. You have to be like, throw shade at it. And I just said, I have to work on my communication. I said, how do I do this? What do I do with this? And he said,

just treat it like it's normal. It's a regular dick. Just treat it like it's normal. All the poor guy. And I just said, how do I manage with this? And do you have an instruction manual? What do we do here? Yup, question. Are you going to cut my baby's like our son? Yeah. I love the gigglers.

Or like, we don't need to know Hannah's unborn child's dicks details, but we do. I feel like I do. I feel like my son's more cultured if he doesn't. And if a girl's not gonna sleep with him because of his uncut jam, she's not meant to be. Okay. Uncut jam.

Uncut jam. Give me some more docs. I watched your Gina, the beginning of it. And I have to say this woman is very famous and we had no idea if she was. She has like 40 million followers so she's like international. And I have to say she did the ideal documentary where there's zero drama, nothing happens. And she kind of just talks about her life. But there's this like ASMR type enjoyment of it where she just like talks about

loving fashion and hanging out with friends and all these beautiful places she goes and like how she organizes her houses and it was really relaxing. It was really relaxing. Okay, now that you've watched it, did you get the feeling at all that it was too good to be true? Oh, absolutely. That's why I said it's the ideal documentary where I kind of felt like a PR stuff. Like do you feel like watching him a little bit on the screen even though he wasn't like on very much. You got like an eerie vibe from him? The whole thing was just like a PR.

Like she's the greatest thing that ever happened. Yeah, what's funny because you loved it But then I was like am I being so jaded by it? No, like I loved it because I just like liked watching her on my screen So there was so much fashion in it, so I know you love that but I was like I feel like this isn't like a hundred percent accurate Like I want to see you guys fight about something like what are the things that you guys disagree on? It was Instagram in a documentary. Even the relatable parts when she's like, I love eating, I just love eating. That's the girl on Instagram in the stories being like, guys, I just say to pizza.

I just want a burger. I just want a burger. And then she's with her friends and her friends are like, she's so generous, like, she's crazy. So don't talk to her. She's crazy, I'm like, I have friends who are crazy. I actually have a crazy friend. You getting invited to a yacht on a Sunday morning, not crazy. She's so down to her. She's so crazy. I'm like, I have friends who are crazy. I actually have a crazy friend.

You get invited to a yacht on a Sunday morning, not crazy. Yeah. Right. I have a friend who chased a squirrel down a subway and then tried to eat it. Us breaking Kelly out of the emergency room when she's being put on a 405, whatever it is hold, that's crazy. Okay. You eating a croissant for lunch, hold, that's crazy, okay? That's crazy. You eating a croissant for lunch, not crazy.

Not crazy to me. Not crazy. But the story of Rags to Riches is like the modern Cinderella where she worked at a Gucci. And then he kind of was like, and I knew she was the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and like take care of my children, which no man's ever said that about me. He. He. This is like, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with and take care of my children, which no man's ever said that about me.

This is like, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We're gonna need multiple babies in our lives. We're gonna have to interview a lot of nannies. A lot of nannies will help. Hannah's mom seems like she's gonna be really helpful. I can't wait to come over to your house one day. When you have two kids,

like when you have one child who's like four and then like a baby, and he's just like throwing things at the wall, you know, I'm just gonna be like, hey, does knows he's gonna have to take care of them and that's why he's postponing. But I'm literally working hard to have money to afford help so that I can, yeah, and for butter.

Same. Because she's, I mean, it's, um, okay, okay, okay. This is so good. If you go to A&E.com, for free, you can watch secrets of a Playboy. Playboy like Playboy Manchin. Like that. Playboy has a playboy just.

So it's basically basically he's been dead and all the women Why is that funny? I don't know what it was He's been dead. No, he's dumb Ben dead. He's been dead. We don't know him. He's done You're done if he was still alive. He would have been canceled First so that's what I think like he missed the Me Too movement by a second. That looking bastard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A hair. Or his literally insides were like, we need to shut down, because bad things are coming. So he, this guy Hugh Hefner, very smart. Honestly, like, not cute, but like, whatever. Not, no. Like, skeezy looking, but. Yeah, creepy vibes. Very creepy whatever. Not, no. Like, skeezy looking, but. Yeah, creepy vibes. Very creepy vibes, very boys club.

But he was like the original guy to pitch feminism to get fucked. Like he was like, this is empowering for women. I'm empowering women. And he really, they said it's basically like a cult for blondes. Where, I mean, while I could have told you, I know, I know.

But I guess everyone would have blinded I to it, and everyone's like, they're making money, they're getting fame. And Holly Madison, remember, they had the whole, and they were like, oh, his whole thing was PR, just looking like he's like some savior to these blond women. When she basically talks about one of the first nights she hung out with him, he like forced himself on her and all these women in a room. And there was like a boys

area where the women were not to go. And then they would just kind of like have sex with them whenever they wanted. I'm in the very beginning of it. But people talked about like there were suicides, drug overdoses, and he overdoses and he covered I need to wash He covered it all up and these are all like such beautiful women. Are you Interesting who you really are and You're gonna feel like self-hate. I could total. I mean Yes, I could I've felt that way just like being in my 20s and like sleeping with someone where you're like You know like you sleep with someone like sleeping with someone where you're like, you know, like you sleep with someone

and then the next day you're like, why did I even do that? Like I know I didn't even wanna do that. Not that they like force you, but you're just like, I don't, like ew, like you just immediately have the ache and it has nothing to do with them. It's like you feeling like you had to do that

or like, so I understand that. I realize why a lot of women don't like random sex. It's means that you don't like having sex with someone who doesn't like you. Yeah, that's a, yeah. Like, I just want the guy to at least know who I am and kind of like me. Yeah.

Like, I don't find it, I know it was like really cool to be like, whatever, I'm empowered., like I can do just what the boys do. I actually can't because I have a soul. Like we have emotion. I'm trying to put myself in a girl shoes who likes having red and sex. And I guess it could feel like naughty and you could feel like you're experimenting

and learning about yourself a lot of the time. It's just about them. And you at the end are like, this was not pleasurable. And why doesn't you have a headboard? And I'm gonna fake this right now so you can get the fuck off of me because I've decided I wanna cheeseburger in my own best. Yeah, I feel like if you wanna

sexually explore and learn about yourself, it's with the person you trust that you really get the best experience. So true. So true. Anytime I've ever slept with someone and it was like a one-off or like maybe it was a few times, I say they don't count.

I've taken them off my life. You don't count. There's no body count. I'm literally a virgin if I go by. I forgot how to count. I also, do you remember when we were in little, like high school, how if a girl had sex with like two or three guys,

people would say her vagina was loose? Yeah. But then like the girl who had the steady boyfriend was like, so cool when I'm like, if a giant has got loose from a amount of times you have sex, that girl's vagina would be loose. Is that why you're so pro anal? But the point is, is that your shrimp dicks are not making any vagina loose, okay?

At all, I'm sticking, I'm at one point in my life, I'm going to push a watermelon out of a peanut, so please. And your canal is so tiny, I'm stressed for her already. So tiny, do you know that my mom didn't remember that story? I called her this week and I was like, I feel like I'm just irritated. I don't think it's actually you, Ti. And I was like, remember when the doctor told me that my canal

was just so much smaller, she literally started laughing. She was like, no, why would I remember that? And I was like, well, one, because you're my mother. And two, because I love that trade about myself. And she's like, oh, it's my favorite characteristic. It's my favorite thing about me. When the doctor said I have a gorilla grip vagina, you don't remember that.

I'm like, how do you not remember that day? She was like, when did that even happen? I was like, remember, they stuck a camera up. I was like, oh my God, are you even my biological mother? I was like a camera up and they couldn't see because it was so fucking narrow. It was like Indiana Jones. Oh my God.

Oh my God, okay, final documentary. No, two. Final two, Tom and Pammy just came out the new episode. I final documentary. No, two. Final two, Tom and Pammy just came out the new episode. I'm still in it, Paige. I'm still loving it. I'm still in it, too. Do you really think it's boring? I don't think it's boring, but I don't know.

I feel like I've been really critical these days on things I watch. I'm like, ah, could be better. But not like I have any suggestions. I know. I'm just being a hater. Don't Yeah. But not like I have any suggestions. I know. I'm just being a hater. Don't give me a problem if you know of a solution. Did you see?

It's me Tynx came out with a hot take on the Anidelevi documentary and basically bashed it on TikTok. I mean, she's my modern day philosopher, so what did she say? She said, compare us and there's a people of joy. And then she said that she was so hyped for this and the tone and everything just was off and they made it more like a soap opera

drama than like an actual... Yeah, which is what we said and then also the amount that I spent watching this pregnancy woman be like upset about her pregnancy. I have nothing to be uncomfortable. Like I'm not anti-pregnancy but like that's not what I'm watching a con artist documentary for. be upset about her pregnancy. I have nothing to be uncomfortable with. Yeah, and be uncomfortable. Like, I'm not anti-pregnancy, but that's not what I'm watching a con artist documentary for. I think that the Netflix and a Delvie show would have been great if it was the third show that they had made. Do you know what I mean?

I wanted the original show about this story to be so captivating and dark and the ins and out of this woman's brain, rather like, so if I watch that first and then I watch this Netflix show, I would have enjoyed it more. Yeah, this was not of God, it was not of God, but I needed it.

But there is a 2020 of her and she's pretty funny. She's just sitting there and in an interview being like, I don't really feel bad. I don't really feel bad and whatever. Okay, but I will say watching the show, I don't either. I don't feel bad either. Like, okay, she tricked some really smart businessmen. The whole extent,

it only tells for 30 days and then leaving without paying like 30 grand, 50 grand. That was crazy. Crazy, but she's trying to survive and like pushing the limits, but she's trying to survive and pushing the limits. But what's fucked up is her friend Rachel is just getting like, shat on. Yeah.

And her friend Rachel was basically, this Netflix special doesn't really show what it was really like, but I realize it's because Rachel got ahead of the game. Rachel wrote that article about her. Rachel got a $300,000 book about it. Good for Rachel. But that was all used against her in court because they were like, right. So. And then she was, what's found not guilty on that count? Rachel didn't get justice because basically they were like Rachel. This girl's paid for everything for you. And

she's like, yes, she's like, so you go to Morocco and she can't pay and you, did she force you to pay? And she was like, no, but we're afraid we're gonna get a rest in Morocco. And they're like, did she force you? And she's like, not really. She goes, so she didn't pay back. I'm like, isn't that every friend on the weekend when they go to a bar?

Yeah. No, literally. I'd like to imagine if I just wrote a book on everyone who didn't then mel me for a vodka soda. But you know what annoys me? It's kind of like that friend at the bar who buys everyone drinks all night, and then they're like, you're a turn,

and you're like, I actually didn't come here to do that, and they're like, but I've been buying everyone drinks, so I'm like, that was a you thing. So don't make me now have to spend $500 on shots, because you guys... One of my biggest pet peeves. I don't even drink. Like, I'm not even drinking.

Yeah. If you're offering me a drink, if you're volunteering your hand and saying, I'm gonna go to the bar and get the next round, I'm assuming that that means you're going to the bar and picking up the tab for the next round. And if you're handing me a drink, my first thought isn't, let me Venmo you for it. Because I know that when I go up to the bar

and get around for the group, that's on me. Yes. I went and did that. Or if you're with like four girls and you're eating dinner and someone goes, hey, I'll get the first bottle. Are you guys cool getting next? That's called consent. But if we're with 14 people and someone by shots,

do not expect me to stand up. If you Venmo me for $4, I gotta go. If there's sensing your Venmo, small claims court. Oh my God, people don't talk about that enough. Never in my lifetime have I sent a Venmo with sense in it. And if I'm paying someone, like I'm actively doing the Venmo first, like I know I owe this person like 14, 55, I'm sending $15.

Do you know why? Because I'm a human. Do you know why me and you have been friends for so long? And you've mentioned it, like you like low maintenance because you have a corporate card. Yeah, we have a corporate card, but also both of me and you in everything in life, I feel like we don't keep score. Like I don't keep score. We're too sleepy.

Like I don't know what you owe me. I don't know what I owe you and you don't need no, I've never and honestly ignorance is bliss Because no, but that's like being normal like I've never because no, but that's like being normal. Like I've never clocked it in my brain to be like, I got that Uber, so Hannah better get the next one. Actually, I hate when Hannah gets Uber's and I actively protest against it. Because she never gets the Excel.

She sends me home in a Prius. Like I rather just get it. No, it's so true. If you send sense in a Venmo, see you in small claims quirk. Because that's just ridiculous. But then I also feel pressured. You send cents in a Venmo, see you in small claims quirk. Because that's just ridiculous. But then I also feel pressure. You don't need the 25 cents. I feel pressure like, oh, if I do something nice for her,

is she gonna feel like she has to do it for me when I'm not like that. I'm all vibes. I can't. We're vibes. We're all vibes, Venmo, crew. No, we are. And we don't do math.

We also, oh, that's real. I think that's really weird. Yeah, because you actually don't know how to divide the bill I got this one guys crazy, but I got this embarrassing yourself I'll pick this one up. I don't want people looking at the check because I don't want them checking my math on the tip Yeah, so I'm just like I got this one guys. Yeah math on the tip. So I'm just like, I got to sound guys. Yeah.

No, but Hannah and I do have a toxic trait that we just developed, that we just throw it on the corporate card, and we own the corporations. So it's not great. We're like, whatever, it's a write off. We also won't take money out of the account, and then I'm like, should we pay ourselves for the hard work we're doing, and pay just like,

what account? And I'm like, I'm pissed! I what account and I'm like But that's why I love giggling so much because we're not in it for the money No, we literally have we just started touching the business account and like It honestly stresses me out We have this We are which is great like imagine if we had a kind count and on their ship being like, why did you guys need a facial? I went to the bank the other day to transfer money from the Giggly Squad

account to my personal checking account. And when I got up to the teller, he was like, I told him what I had to do and he was like great name of the business and I just like I was like giggly squad he goes I'm sorry what and I go giggly squad the man couldn't keep in his laughter he goes I actually don't want to know that's probably bad and then they expect you to be like four dollars and then when it's like like a new amount they're like what do you actually do? No, yeah what do you go snap yeah like now what is Giggly squat and like the password to get into our account? He's like you guys do sound like you're kind of funny.

The worst thing is like I had to buy a microphone because I lost my microphone but I got it back don't worry when I lied to my therapist. And they're always like, oh, what are you buying this for? And I'm like a podcast. Like, what's your podcast? And immediately, I'm like, immediately, no. And they're like, I wanna listen.

And I'm like, immediately, no. We're at capacity. We're at capacity. We can't explain to you the origin. We do, like, when people are like, I don't get the court thing. I'm like, I don't get the court thing. I'm like, I don't want you to. Like, if you don't get it, I can't explain it to you.

I do have to say I'm in Miami, and I just did a show in Miami, and the giggler showed the fuck up. And I was not able to appreciate it to the extent that you would because the fashion in Miami is, like every girl looks main character energy, like we did a meet and greet after. And I have to say there's a similarity with New York where they have like great jeans.

One of these little tops that aren't really a top, a beautiful like leather or blazer with like shoulder pads and just everyone is Maddie from Euphoria ready to drive to Nate's house and kill him. Apps of you nailed it. And then like the curves and the hair and the makeup is on the fleek and I just was like. It's always done. Yeah. They're done up at every moment. And I told them all we're coming in April for the batch of rats.

So they're all coming. They're really excited. Hannah's been texting me things that that she's planned for her own batch of rats and I literally feel like it's my badgerette I'm like I'm so happy you did that form I'm like I'm gonna cry, you really love me I definitely feel like the energy of this badgerette has nothing to do with des and it's purely just us Like having an excuse to be together

purely just us, like having an excuse to be together. Yeah, right. I'm gonna put uncut gems under every picture of those, like cut out cardboard. Do you remember when we used to call him Cady Daddy in the beginning? Oh wow, oh my God. Yeah, we had a lot of like inside jokes with the gigalors that like, it isn't a funny, like when you have inside jokes

with your friends, and just like one day, you just like both stop saying, and you like forget that it even existed. We're just like realizing things and growing and evolving. But I do have to say, everyone has nicknames in the beginning until you like him,

and then your friend starts calling him Jim. But at first, he's just like, Navy boy, blue balls guy. I don't think I had a nickname for Craig. I mean they were choice words for sure. Okay, wait, is there any other documentaries? No, let's do some frontpage news. Okay. Britney Spears just signed a $15 million deal to do her tell-all book. I'm proud of her. And I'm proud of her, but I'm nervous. I'm nervous for some reason.

I mean, I think she's gonna have a ghostwriter, obviously. It's not like she's like sitting down at her desk and like, typewriting. I also, like, everyone was like, oh my god, $15 million. she's like sitting down at her desk and like typewriting. I also like everyone was like, oh my God, 15 million. Kind of feel like she could have gotten more. And that's why I love you. That book is going to be, then there's gonna be a documentary. She's gonna go on a whole book tour.

Then there's like someone's gonna make a movie about her life. Like I just kind of feel like 15 million, so she could have gotten like at least 30. Yeah, I do think that it's the beginning of hopefully more things for her. I guess I said I'm nervous because I know so many eyes are gonna be on it and there's just gonna be so many opinions of it

and like we're finally gonna know her real side of the story. But I kind of love that it's a book and not an interview because I feel like a book you can really put the details and really think it through. Oh, remember when I was gonna read more? I forget what book I was even reading. I got really nervous other day just thinking of anyone ever in a public setting asked me like my favorite authors that like I wouldn't know how to answer it. Do you remember when we were younger and we would go on like job interviews and like one of the

questions would be like what are you reading right now? Do you know that I always said the same thing? Well you had to. Well, it was yours. The great Gatsby. Oh my god. What would I? I would be like oh I'd say I like reading autobiographies by like Chelsea Handler and Mindy Kaling and Tina Fey. Wow, that's a really good one. Because I've actually never read the Great Gatsby. But I've seen the movies so I could answer questions. It's not a good one, because I couldn't name an author.

I named comics who wrote a book. Yeah, but that's very true to your personality. And I feel like that interviewer would pick up on that. I'm like, to Chowfsky. Oh, I know what you would say. You'd be like, tanks. I'm like, have you heard of tanks? And it's not really like a reading thing. It's like an audio book.

But like, on a map. Wait, Craig just did his audio book. And I was so jealous because like, I went the one day to like kind of like watch him do it. Hannah, we would thrive in like a soundproof booth. That's what we do. It's called podcasting. And then he kept talking to me in the way that he like read the audio book, like annunciating everywhere and I was like, you have to shut up. How was his voice? Like was was like, you have to shut up.

How was his voice? Like was he like, because sometimes he loses voice. He was really good at it. Sometimes he loses voice from having too much fun at night. Did he take care of his voice? No, the amount of tea that was drunk that week. But it was actually really good.

How long does it take? Oh my God, it took him, it took him four full days. Wow. Yeah. How long? Like five hours. How long do you take him to write his book?

A couple months. No, yeah, I would say like a couple months. No, I would say like the, I mean the process started I think like a year ago, but I think it takes like a solid six months. So this is my question. When do you think you would drop a book in your career? I don't know if I ever would drop a book on my life, because I don't think I have like...

You'd have to talk about how you made your fat dog. Do you know Craig brought that up to me? He goes, I heard you have a dog or not, I heard you have a dog. He's like, but I heard you. I heard you just say that your dog is fat to people and I'm like, you've met Polo. He's fat. Like, why is this like a weird thing? He's like, but how could you say that?

And I was like, these have eyes and I can look at Polo and know that he's overweight. He's a vision to first chapters like then Polo walked into the room and immediately I turned my head disgusted after he shoved his face with too much tuna fish. Somebody take this part out of the walk. Some woman will non-stop DM and Craig about how he should break up with me solely based on the fact that I call my dog fat.

I love the energy of- She's not the one. A woman who don't know us, telling our significant others about us, like they don't know who they know us better than they do, and should break up with us. Someone message us and you know how this crazy, and he was like, yes, wait, what? No, people go, have you seen Summer House?

Have you seen it? And he was like, yeah, she told me everything that happened. You actually haven't seen everything that happened, which is crazy. No, so many people tell Craig I'm a gold digger. I'm like, I pay all your shit. What are you talking about? I make more money than you.

I love to say. You know how people like to Google celebrities net worths? I'll tell you right now, they're all wrong. They're all so, so wrong. They're all so so wrong. They're all wrong. Very wrong. I love Googling their height and they're not worth. But then like I Google mine, I'm like, that's not right. It's not right. We're just saying it's not right. What else do you have? Sam Hunt, pregnant wife files for divorce, citing adultery. Sam Hunt, who is his?

He's a. Oh, no, no, no. He is a country music. Is it Lauren? No. No. Is it a bachelor girl? No. No. Oh, that's a different guy. No, her name's Hannah Lee Fowler. Tennessee. Is that a bachelor girl? I don't think so, but it sounds like it could be.

Yeah, does honestly, when they give a middle name, I love the south. They have a thousand names. People love Sam Hunt. Like, he's like the total artist. People love Atist. Oh, they were really cute. No, I think they were like... Together for a long time. Yeah. Well, good for her, get out.

And she was pregnant. How like, there is something gross about cheating during a pregnancy. There were 14 years together. I've always had this weird fear that like, oh my god, what if my husband doesn't want to sleep with me when I'm pregnant? And then like, I don't know how this came up in conversation with Craig. But I was like, would you be like grossed out? And he was like, no, I feel like I'd be like so jacked up.

Like not only do I love you so much, but I like need something that's inside of you. Like I would be excited and then he was like, I have a friend that actually like loves, I was like sleeping with pregnant women. He was like, no, like loves getting his wife pregnant and like sleeping with her. And I was like, no, like loves getting his wife pregnant and like sleeping with her. And I was like, well, that man needs that.

You're apparently, it's a real thing. Apparently it's very like, for pheromones and hormonal, where men are super attracted. Yeah, I liked that. To their woman when she's pregnant, because you're like, so vivacious and curvy, and you're like creating his child and like men get jacked up on that. So like, I feel like there's some type of like, king complex. Something, yeah, that's happening.

And we're like back in like the 1700s or something. That is like, I'm gonna have sex with my pregnant wife. I actually heard two very fucked up things on TikTok. Like two fucked up stories on TikTok. Um, one, this girl found out that her dad was a woman. She was like, I'm gonna have sex with my pregnant wife. I actually heard two very fucked up things on TikTok. Like, two fucked up stories on TikTok. One, this girl found out that her dad had been a client

on her only fans. No, that's sick. Then a girl said that she recently found out that her boyfriend was posting videos of her and him hooking up on an only fans account and making money from it. You get it? and her boyfriend was posting videos of her and him hooking up on an only fans account and making money from it. You get it?

She basically posted on TikTok and everyone's like, this is super, super, super fucked up. And she explained, she found out because this is what I was doing last night, getting really invested. She saw he kept getting only fans notifications. So she naturally broke into his phone to see who he's following on only fans.

And she found out. Yeah. Classic. It was an account for like her and that he was making money off of. And then she confronted him and he basically gasped her like, it's not a big deal. Like, I don't show the front of your face ever.

And she's like, I mean, you see everything else. Like my room, my hair thing, my clothes, like you see everything. And he basically tried to gaslight her and be like, it's so not a big deal. But it's one of those things. You know, did he use his real name? I don't think so. But the point is, is that if it's not a big deal, why'd you lie about it and why you hide it from her?

Right. So she's now suing him as she should. Um, so women are out here like telling their fucking fucked up stories with technology and sex. And we just have to keep an eye out there, ladies. Keep an eye out there protect yourself. Oh my god, literally changing my eye cloud password as we speak. There's just creepos everywhere we look. That's so disgusting. Also, like just be a normal

person and go on porn hub. It takes 30 seconds and then you're done. Also this dude, you know, he gets caught and he turns it on her that she's being dramatic, like classic. Classic. Classic. I'm so sick of men.

Like, I'm still on my eye, I hate men, Tori. Because I just, I can't. Men are trash. They're trash. So trash. They really are. They just think they're so amazing. And I'm like trust. They're trash. So trash. They really are. They just think they're so amazing.

And I'm like, you're not, you're only half amazing because I associate with you. No, I just, I can't with the men. I can't. Also, like, who would have the audacity to like take a video? It's the audacity. It's audacity. And like, to feel like they wouldn't get caught or like, there would be no repercussions of taking a video of your girlfriend and letting everyone see her like having sex.

Like that is a vile. I mean, like, oh man. To women are making money doing this. How am I going to take advantage of my woman to benefit me? Oh my god, AOC in large claims. See you in federal court, sir. You in supreme fucking court. Why don't I just say supreme court? And I immediately thought of a supreme like,

burrito, Chalupa. I had Taco Bellia all night and it was fucking amazing. Would you order? I ordered three soft tacos, like, Supremes, and then I order one cheese, cheesy, gordita crunch. What is the supreme thing I was thinking of? That's when it comes with sour cream.

It's really, it just comes with sour cream. The other ones, if it's not supreme, it doesn't come with sour cream. And then it's like, what's the point of eating? It was not supreme. Yeah. Again. I'm calling for police.

I actually can't enjoy my Mexican without sour cream, but that's like my toxic trait. I know, I think that if people in join Mexican without sour cream, I'm weary of you. Oh, weary? You were a pawn. You were a weary of you. Wow, we just used all our catch phrases in 30 seconds.

Absolute punk behavior. Do you have any other from page names? From page names. How about Lindsey Lohan on TikTok just living our life. Oh yeah what's she doing on TikTok? She had one right away. Just like voicing over her own things. I think it's iconic and I think she should. She's like, I like it too. Also has anyone checked on how that Christmas movie did because we talked about it a lot and then didn't follow that. We always do that. We talk about things we were like we must know and then we didn't follow that. We always do that.

We talk about things we were like, we must know. And then we literally have amnesia. I'm gonna forget about it. But I will say, do you know how babies have past ports? Oh yeah. One woman DM me and said she had to put her baby on like a white board and basically take the picture that way. And then another woman said that she had to put like a sheet,

a white sheet over herself and like hold her baby. Like a ghost, not being your baby. I'm like, cause you can't have anyone else in the background. And she said it's particularly hard because you have to see their ears. So like keeping their heads. That was like, lot of fun. So what we learned is I'm a very valid question last week. Yeah. I wanted to be like, okay, now what age you have to get a

gerbil, you know? Gerbil's need to get pre-check. Also question, is it read receipts or red receipts? Read receipts. Okay, red receipts. Apparently people say red receipts. Okay, read receipts. Apparently people say read receipts. Also people say, I think read. People also said they face time in multiple places, not just cities.

And that crime is just weird. Yeah, people were all offended by that. They were like, we know what face time is in the Midwest, you stupid bitches. Some people were like, I've never faced time like I just never FaceTime some woman said that she was telling her best She wanted to tell her best friends some like big news I'm pretty sure she was telling her that she was engaged or something. She said she blew it by just being like can we FaceTime Because she was like I never FaceTime. Yeah, so her friend was like I knew you were gonna tell me something. Yeah People love that with the engagement shit with the leg.

Uh, uh. I did that. Hany literally did the exact thing to me. I did that. No, actually, I called you and put you on trial. I was like, bitch, are you engaged? People are saying about the engagement is I was literally trying to keep it a secret.

And page and Sierra, I saw that. I felt the energy. Yeah, and some people just told me to. I'm so bad at lying. I'm the worst liar of the whole thing. No, yeah. I woke up like I was in the movie Madeline, like Miss Clavelle. I was like, something's not right.

And I think someone's engaged. When a new one in your circle gets engaged, you're like, smells like diamonds. I'm like a cushion cut. New it. Oh God. Anyway guys, thank you for giggling with us today. We love you so much. We're going to be in Boston March 26, because I think it's sold out though. I'm going to be in Atlanta in Charlotte, which is fun. That is fun. Yeah, and then maybe Denver.

I really wanna go to Atlanta and just have a fucking time. Yeah, with Sierra and Portia. Maybe when I get engaged, I'll do my Bachelor of Party in Atlanta. Can we get Michael? Right? Can we get, I feel like, Deep Michael who?

Portia's stripper. What's his name? Bo-la. Bo-la. I think he's running his life. Well, I do wanna, I feel like they have such good strip clubs. Here is like, no, you get dressed and ready

and you go out at the strip club and I feel like that's just ideal for a bachelor. If you did it, you did your bachelor party in Atlanta. Just the most crunk bachelor at party in history. Yeah. I love that we're planning your bachelor at night. That are New Orleans, I think I might do. New Orleans could be really chic.

We could dress as witches. I would love that. I would love to do something haunted for my bachelor at. Okay, Stasi. Yeah, I had dinner with Stasi the other day. I know, which is crazy, because we were vandipump fans growing up, obviously. Hard to look her right in the eye because she's so pretty. I told her, actually stopped her mid-conversation.

It's that I'm having trouble looking at you. That's crazy, because you've never said that to me. You just don't look at me. No, they're up in days, right? I've been like, stop! I can't look at you! Take a shower! Okay, No, they're at bens days right? I've been like, stop, I can't look at you. Take a shower. Okay, okay, you're done. Come on, you're done.

You're done. Bye.