Giggly Squad - Giggling about deux moi, vagina smells, and calling 911

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

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What's up my skigglers? Get it like ski gigglers. Oh, ski podcast. This is the ski podcast. Welcome to ski podcast. The winds are a little bit low and there's powder on the mountain. Imagine we gave the weather every time. How are you? Are you sick? You're sniffling. Oh my god, my fucking. Okay. So in my apartment, you know, and you can type into your building like when you have like to your super basically like you something's broken in your apartment and like you give them permission to enter and like fix it. Yeah, you're like my brain's broken, help. So I kept being like my he's broken, my heating is broken. Like I can't turn it on and they kept coming and like saying like they fixed it and like everything's fine. So then finally I was like are they just fucking with me? Like are they not coming and fixing it? Finally I was home today when the guy came

and I was obviously, I was pushing the wrong button. So I was turning on the air conditioning and he was like, it's actually this valve here. So I've been living for a week with no heat. He's like, hey, we thought you knew that you should have pressed Tundra, but apparently you don't. The fire signal does mean hot, which is crazy, I know,

but I'm not to mention when this poor man walked into my apartment, I have clothes everywhere. I literally have shoes like in my sink to be cleaned. Did you get water at least? A fruit on. I get off from a water. Just ice. Just a snow cone.

And I was watching cheer. And it was the part when they were doing the deep dive on Jerry and how he's a pedophile. So this is going on in the background. This guy. And I'm just so uncomfortable. You could have easily paused it. That was a personal decision that you did.

I know, because I didn't know it was kind of like, I was just like, oh yeah, you didn't know. They're like, and they're like, what kind of videos was he sending? And like masturbation. And I was like, so it's this valve over here. And that's like, great. This is great. You're gonna get reported. I also get a lot of messages of gigglers being like so is that the an interview for a new job and Your podcast came on and it was just you guys saying fuck or like talking about like Digging deep-throated so I got the job though, and I'm like respect. Um Also, we just have some like housekeeping in the beginning I did go to Vermont with des this last weekend

beginning, I did go to Vermont with Des this last weekend, skiing as one does. Did I use a toenail? Yes. Did I cry on the mountain four times? How the heck did you lose a toenail? Basically, my ski boot, your toes go numb and then everyone's like, yeah, that's normal. And then, so I was just numb the whole time

and then when I took it off and it defrosted, my tone was black. Oh my God, are your ski boots too small? Who the fuck knows? Because skiing is this weird thing where they're like, it's supposed to hurt. And I'm like, you are sick people. So then I had to like, cut the top of the tone

nail, the blood, whatever, the whole thing. I'm fine, I'm fine. And then I got on the mountain the next day and like fell three times and I was lying down, I wanted to quit and Des, like, gave me a little pep talk. And then I had a good day. And I did put my hair in braids and that's like my new thing.

And then I think I got me through it. It's my new personality. But then the gigglers were DMing me being like, if you don't cry on the mountain, did you even go skiing? And then I felt, I felt like, oh, it's my new personality. But then the gigglers were DMing me, being like, if you don't cry on the mountain, did you even go skiing? And then I felt, I felt like, oh, it was just a normal ski weekend. Yeah, that is so true.

Like, the one time when I did fall, it was like, Craig and the skiing instructor and I literally felt like they were my parents. I was like, guys, I just, I can't do it anymore. Like, my legs are so tired. I'm hot. I'm hungry. And they're like, okay, I just, I can't do it anymore. Like, my legs are so tired. I'm hot. I'm hungry. And they're like, okay, we're gonna ski home now.

I was like, okay. But what people I forget is when you're beginner, it's so much harder, you actually have to use your muscles so much more because you're going slower. And then falling and then getting back in the skis is a whole emotional journey. It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing, it's physically tiring.

My mental health moment is that skiing is life. And you take on that mountain girl. So you go up and down, but you just keep going. Oh, I thought you were saying like, skiing is life. Be the mountain. I love how we like adopted a new sport in our late 20s. You know, like, wait, Pige, we have to do a ski collection. No.

Oh, hang on. Like a, oh my God. Half to do a ski collection. We have to do like yesterday. Oh my God, no, I'm literally emailing them. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I, okay, we're calling. We're calling them. We're calling them in charge of that done. But this, I'm not just saying this randomly guys, it's because when I fell, I was dropping my phone all the time. And like, because of the snow, I guess I was having trouble hearing people when I was calling them. So on like Tuesday, we got back, we had a great time, it got to the horizon store.

And I'm fuck with my phone. I'm on Instagram waiting in line on the customer service line. And I start getting bombarded with DMs, asking me if me and Desi broke up. I saw it. I giggled and then went to the next slide. Because I was like, that's stupid. You were responding to people being like, yeah giggled and then like went to the next slide. I was like, that's stupid.

You were responding to people being like, yeah, they did. Like, just having fun. I'm like, I can't please respect our privacy at this time. We're going there really. Of time. But I love the gigglers so much because you could tell, like, they just saw something on the internet. So they were like, hey, we don't want to trigger you by this.

If it happened, we are here for you. If not, we're so sorry this room is going around. Like they were so sweet about it. That's sweet. It took me while before I saw it. And then to someone, I just wrote like the TikTok going like immediately now. Like I just thought I was writing to people. Then I guess people started to pick it up. And then the internet, they spread this rumor. And then they started spreading a rumor that I submitted it. Oh, I saw that one tension. Yeah, that was tension. I mean, I'm still waiting in the customer service line.

Fuck me. Wait, I have a question. When there was a fake rumor about me and Craig, my initial reaction is like, that's crazy. And then the three seconds later I'm like, is that true? Like did I sleep with? So like when you guys, when you saw that you guys broke up, did you like look at him and like, wait, are we okay?

Well I was a ferrison and I was like, oh my god did he use it? Like something happened when I was a ferrison. He puts out a press release. He's so bad at skiing and I can't take it anymore. So, and then I had like my trainer texted me like it's so bad. Oh my god, he got personal.

And then I'm afraid like, oh no, like poor Dez is going to get upset because we have, people think we broke up because we're not like posting photos all the time, but it's like we were very public early on because of the show. And we've like made a choice to be like, okay, we don't have to do anymore. So, like, let's enjoy a little privacy. Yeah. So, I'm like, oh no, Des is like, back in, like, bad DMs, like, I got back in, and he just, he didn't give a shit.

He didn't give a shit. Yeah. At all. No, it's one of, it's one of the scariest things. It's a lot. It can be a lot. And then what random people say, also when people are like, you can't read it, you can't look at it.

Okay, so that means you just can't go on your phone. Like, you can't ever press the heart button on Instagram because you don't want to see the comments under your latest picture. It's just a lot. It's a lot of mental warfare, like with yourself. Yeah, and it's kind of like watching a car crash, like you know it's bad stuff going on, but you want to see like how bad you're like I know they hate me, but how much? I just hate when people take a lie and then use it to further like push a bigger lie

about you. And it's funny because I'm not even on Reide TV right now. Right. Because of this. I'm gonna say one thing that is a little bit of a hot take, but I have to say it. When accounts will attack public figures, or influencers or whatever being like,

they want attention, and these accounts want attention. They're using a lie about me so they can get engagement on their posts saying that I'm doing it for attention. Realistically I'm trying to protect my fucking family. It's such a like backwards. The internet is so fucked up because all the internet preaches like self love and self care and you should love yourself And type of lian don't be a mean guy and the most important relationship is with you like you live with you and then God forbid you post a picture of yourself people are like oh my god You're obsessed with yourself. You love yourself so much. I'm gonna say something wild

Everyone who goes on reality TV loves attention But I do think accepting that you like attention is Like some people are meant to perform and like I I love comedy I love being on stage But then this funny because I feel like me and you also certain situations we don't like attention like I'm actually kind of In group settings. Yeah, we talked about I don't know to do. Yeah Check check me out like I can't do it

But put a microphone with us and we can flow. Oh my god. How is your week? How are you? Oh? My god I'm good. What did How were you? Oh my god. I'm good. What did I even do? I don't know. I haven't left the apartment. It's so fucking cold in New York. It's too cold.

It's like, I'm unwell. Craig's a way on a bachelor party, so like, haven't spoken to him in years. God knows if he's still alive. Oh yeah, he's that age where like his, his southern friends are starting to get married. 30s is like there's like 18 of them in a hotel. I'm like oh my god. We don't get arrested but I've literally I don't want to hang out with anyone or go anywhere. I love that for him. I think I might be depressed. I do have to say, having a boyfriend does get exhausting in terms of like, you're socializing

all the time and people are like, oh, you're now with your boyfriend, go out with your girls. Yes, but you also need that third time, which is like you alone with your clothes. Yeah. Like, here's the other thing. I want to see my girlfriends. I don't want to go out and see them. Yeah.

Yeah. I like, if you want to hang out with me, you have to come see my girlfriends. I don't want to go out and see them. Yeah. Yeah. I like, if you want to hang out with me, you have to come to my apartment. That's the rule of being my friend. I'm just my New York two guys. I live on the lower east side. Sierra lives like, We're in a long distance.

You and I are in a long distance relationship. Yeah, you and Sierra live in Midtown West. And so I treat it like you live in Europe. So I really, You literally called me the other day and you're like so weird I was on the west side yesterday. I don't live in a different state. Well it's really cute. So lovely this time of year.

You never told me. People have like a different accent in the city where you are. You're like I'm a different sorry, I'm the East side. I've come all the way from the East side. How do you guys pronounce it here? How do you say, um, I want to say it was like purely because I wanted you a podcast with his dog trainer and I wanted to meet his dog who is this like gorgeous pit bull. And then I hit up Sierra because I hadn't physically seen her in so long and I was with Des and

I was like, hey, we're coming through to say hi. I mean, a great time. And then she was going to go out and we were going to just have a nice quaint dinner at this little Italian restaurant near her apartment. And we got there. I know this Italian restaurant. She loves it. It's her favorite place.

They're so friendly. It's really intimate. It's really cute. It was a little busy. We get there and does look that mean he goes, I don't really feel that well. And then he looks at me and he goes, I think I'm gonna faint. I, you don't know how little of a caretaker you are until moments like this happen. Stop. He goes, I have to go to the bathroom and I go, all good. Goes to the bathroom. I'm like like scrolling my Instagram, reading hate comments,

and I'm just normal. Self-nearloathing. I have three extra minutes. Let me self-load. So then he comes back and he goes, I think I need to lie down outside. And I go, over my dead body, are you lying down? I was like, I just have to go to Central Park really quick and land on her bench. And I was lying there. And it's a very quick restaurant. And he's like, you could tell he's scared.

And then I noticed he is losing color in his face. His lips are almost looking gray. And he goes, oh my god, Hannah, where are we? This all happens. Like having a heart attack? This happened within like, it escalated so quickly like within three minutes. Like I was deciding between the eggplant, the chicken,

and Parmesan. And he goes, can you call an ambulance? And I'm like, no fucking way. I was like, you don't, we don't need ambulance. This like, you're not gonna embarrass me right now and call an ambulance. Do you wanna know what I think that is? I think that's because we grew up

in an Italian family that like if your hurt or something happens, we didn't have moms that were like, oh my God, like maybe for a second, they were like, are you okay? They checked to see if you were okay and then they were like, suck it. No, this is a fuck off. This is all my issues.

I'm letting you guys know. So he goes, call an ambulance. I start googling how to call an ambulance, because I'm like, it definitely can't be 911. 911 seems very extreme for this. Is there a 3-1-1? Is there like a, is there a look,

we're not in emergency, but we need 911. We're not 911 this. And then he goes, I need to lie down. I need to go, I go, you're not lying outside. Go in the booth. By the way, guys, does this six three? He's a large man. So we, outside, go in the booth. By the way, guys, does this six, three?

He's a large man. So we, he starts lying in the booth, and this is not like a private booth. Like we're all connected on one long booth. So I'm pretending he's not lying in the booth. Like I mortified. You're walking it off. And I'm like, he's like, what are you doing?

And I was like, I'm just, I'm figuring, I'm like, this will pass, like whatever this is, it'll pass. And he goes, get the waitress. And I'm like, why do you doing? And I was like, I'm just, I'm figuring, I'm just, I'm like, this will pass. Like, whatever this is, it'll pass. And he goes, get the waitress. And I'm like, why do you need the waitress? And he's like, get the waitress. The waitress comes and he goes, can you call an ambulance? And she's like, she starts freaking out.

Yeah, oh my God. And she's like, no, I'm on one, no, I'm on one. And then this was like the most New York City moment where everyone gets down to help. Like, guys, like get him an ass sprint. The other girls, like, keep cough and make sure you keep cough and keep talking to him. And-

Wait, what did they think was going on? That he was having a heart attack? It's amazing today, and older Zadi. Yeah. But occasionally, you have to look out for he could be having a heart attack, which, like, I didn't factor into this engagement. And then, though, so the ambulance arrives.

And this has like fully escalated from like a chill dinner to the whole the whole place. But the funny thing about des is someone's like by the way you kind of sound like Bill Burr to make him laugh. And he starts doing a full on Bill Burr impression while he's dying. And I'm sitting there like are you really fucking doing your stand-up, making everyone laugh here? Then the ambulance comes and they're testing all his stuff and then they start taking the food away and then I realize like, we have to pay.

Pay. I realize I don't have my wallet with me because it's in my ski jacket. Because you're getting married. So I'm like, I like babe babe um babe where's your where's your wallet and he's like I'm dying and you're like also the life insurance policy happens to know where that is at home just It's just, it's not related. You cause like kind of a big stir at this restaurant.

We have to leave like a hefty tip. Like this is a lot. He finally comes down, he goes to the bathroom, and he pukes, and they're like, we think he has a stomach bug. So obviously I've made more jealous at this point. Yeah. Then he finally started getting color back in his face.

Everything was good and At that moment, I'm like and this is why I probably should never have a child. No, no Hannah. Don't say that This is why men Get Literally sneeze and they're like I think that I have severe allergies. I'm like you sneeze I do think it's always better to be safe and sorry, but it just escalates so quickly when he was like, con ambulance and I was like, are you, is this a bit? I was like, like, are you serious? I was Carrie Bradshaw and he was big. Oh my god. Oh my god, you literally were. I will say this is a quick test if you're ever, because it's happened to me.

If you're dating someone and you can't decide if you like them or not, if they go through something traumatic and your immediate reaction is to like get the egg. You don't like that. You don't like that. I love this man so much. He was lying down in a booth in a nice New York City restaurant.

Yeah, hyperventilating. And still making everyone laugh around him. And I also knew that we were going to make fun of this. Like I literally did the joke on stage that night. And he went on stage that night, that crazy motherfucker. Yeah. But I definitely was like, this is like worthy if I wasn't into him. If you didn't like him.

I've had boyfriends cry about God knows fucking what. And my immediate reaction is to like, lean away. I'm like, stop whatever you're doing. But like, Craig could cry at something or like be upset. And I'm like, oh my God, do you want to talk about it? Let's like figure this out. Who did this? Okay, I'm murder. Um, the best part too is after this whole scene dramatic scene we're leaving and he turns around to the restaurant and he goes, just want to say it wasn't the food. The food is great. Wait, that fucking hilarious.

But I'm also like this fucking guy like my life life with him is never boring, but like the drama sometimes is like I'm like We're not even doing reality TV anymore And I was like we need a break like we just stop Just stop Also just when men get sick It is the more of the craziest thing and like I've always always seen memes about this or heard about it. But it is on another fucking level when you're in a relationship.

Craig sneezes the other day in my apartment. Like it just a normal sneeze, whatever. And he looked at me and he goes, I think they have dust in here. I think you might have a lot of dust. I'm like, what was fun? You know, you could die from the mold in here. Like, you could die from the mold in here.

You see these? I was like, kill the fuck out. So, but this has this like competitive thing where like, he's like, whatever happens, we always do stand up comedy at night. So like, he went and did his shows and I'm like, who are you trying to prove? Like, yeah, you almost have to ask him. No way. After that, the two sides of the comedy seller and he's like, I just do let you know,

that that stuff's not gonna take me down. And I'm like, I have to approve that. To anyone. You're like, what mafia movie are we gonna be right now? That like, things aren't gonna take you down. Like, okay. Because I just, I can't win men or sick. It's like, it's one of my biggest pet peeves.

It's an egg, honestly, for me. I don't want to throw my dad under the bus, but like, when my dad gets a cold, the whole world stops. And he's, they're pouty. My parents couldn't come to our first live show because my dad didn't feel well. I literally didn't feel well. He has a tickle.

Yeah, my mom was like, it's just better if I stay with him. You know, I'm worried. And I'm just like, okay. Do you know what I think it is? I think it's not their fault. I think society makes them feel like they can't be vulnerable ever. And they're so strong.

So the second they're allowed to blame something else, they put all of their vulnerability into that tickle. I think that's so true. Wow. You just psychoanalyze that into on point. Okay. I have some wild front page news, but I want you to start with what you have. Or I could start whatever you start.

You start because I feel like you're excited about it. Oh, is this about the Megan Fox ring? We could start with that. Okay, let's start with that. So after we analyze Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's engagement ring, we then found out that it's like made to feel like when she takes it off, that it hurts and it's thorns, like coming off of her ring finger. How do you feel about it?

So obviously at first you're like, ugh, and then you realize like honestly it's so them and also it's so romantic in a way. They're aliens right? They don't live on this planet. You, first of all, you know she fucking loved that. She fucking loved that. And for him to be like, I love you so much that I wanted to fucking her if you even remove this

from your finger. And you're like, oh, I just fucking came. So you want to know what? It's a very clear sign that they live in California and New York. Right? They're signed. They don't live in Ohio. I think we know that.

And I feel like people sometimes get mad because they're like, you living in New York isn't a personality trait. Okay, but it is because it dictates what I think about certain situations. Like I love to be romantic and like have my man plan something cute and be swept off my feet. But it gets to, but then it gets to a certain point where you're like, okay, but it's just unrealistic, just it's enough. I mean some people would say it's a tension seeking. Yeah. But I also do think if they like pain and bed, do you think it's like sexual?

Oh, when I feel pain from this ring, I think of him. I don't know, because I like pain and bed sometimes. Not like extreme pain. But I don't want to be getting like a manicure because every time I get a manicure, like I take my rings off, I don't want it to scratch my finger every two weeks. Like that's a little bitch with pain. If my tag in the back of my shirt has a slight, a slight itch, I'm out for the day. So yeah, we have very sensitive bodies and we can't... If you're in a path, they say they're really sensitive.

I have two sweaters and we can't wear angora. Do you know how hard that is for us? It is for us and we can't wear it. Our sensitive gentle baby skin. Also I wrote down, are you familiar with the Theragons? I am familiar. I feel like you've definitely dated a guy who's like, oh, I'm gonna use my Thera Gun.

Literally everything. Oh, I just was like, Equinox and my Thera Gun, I put my Thera Gun. So Thera Gun, we were away in Aspen and at one point, Craig was like, oh, I should have brought the Thera Gun. I'm not gonna lie, I did buy Desert Thera Gun for Christmas. But like in the moment, I was like, oh, that would have been so good right now, I'm so, so.

Honestly, pissed off that we didn't partner with Theragon because this is about to be intense, but they have this like really sexy commercial with Ronaldo with the Theragon. We're not only is it showing him like in the gym after, but also shows him just in a tank top and bed, like kind of like curled over, just getting his calf. We definitely don't watch the same cables.

Wait, no, we definitely don't. Like I'll be what, like does I'll have like, sock around and it'll show it. Yeah. I, I don't think that's safe. People are now using TheraGun as a sex toy. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that.

My question, because you know, I don't know things. You can't do that. My question, because you know I don't know things. Where? No where. You guys, because it's like D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- I didn't even think that people would be putting it there. I mean, it scares me. I definitely think Michigan-Gun Kelly understands how to use it, but we don't. No. They also have different tops for it. Like, they have like a sharper one for like certain muscles.

There was a TikTok that I recently saw and it was this woman. She was like, duetting this guy's TikTok and he's snowboarding. And he's like, he's snowboarding. And he's like, he's videoing himself as he gets down from the mountain and he's like, guys, I'm not going to lie. I just wrote so well that I think I like came a little bit. And it flips over to like her TikTok and she goes, are you telling me that these motherfuckers are doing like an everyday thing, and they're just releasing like that. She's like, I'm not in the mental state. The moon has to be in Jupiter.

And she's like, do they deserve that? Do they deserve that? Because seriously, you have to be as a woman. You have to be so honed in on what the fuck is happening at that precise moment to even get halfway there and then sometimes you can lose it and you never get it back you don't know where it went. Guys talk about how like peeing feels like so fucking good and like peeing does feel good but I realized I guess the pee comes out of the same place that like semen would is

that wrong? No that's right they. They only have a few of them. So I feel like they kind of, it simulates like they're coming kind of where it like feels like they hate them. I just hate them. I hate them. There's so many things I hate about them. Yeah.

So even though I am in a very loving relationship, I am still on my I hate mentor. I hate them. We are fully on my mentor. Speaking of I hate mentor, we are going to Seattle. LA and San Francisco. Check out Lake Combayo. It is the I hate mentor.

And we do have some special guests. So we do. I can't wait. We just got a video person. So if you're not there, you'll be able to see some stuff. And I'm about to book our hair and makeup for Hawaii, but I need to do Seattle and San Francisco. Okay, what was next that we like had to have now?

Okay, next, have you heard about the green M&M? Yes. Okay, we're taking things too far. So the green M&M, Rolling Stone just said, let the green M&M be a nasty little slut. The green Eminem was originally in like the commercials and stuff wearing white heels and they she had like lip gloss. She was like girl yeah she was a slut but you like her you always wanted her to cut you always knew she was getting with the blue Eminem like there was no way she was that. She was an Instagram model who goes on yachts

and now they're making her wear Larry David sneakers. Because, oh wait what about how they're changing the orange M&M because they don't want the orange M&M to know that that could be like an anxiety-induced color. So apparently they want the orange M&M to be open about its anxiety. So it's a, that's its character trait, is that it's an anxious M&M and to normal society. It's not real. M&Ms aren't real.

M&Ms don't know they have anxiety. I have anxiety. That's why eat M&Ms. M&Ms will take away my anxiety. But, oh yeah, so are you familiar with yassifying? No. So, yassifying is this app where it makes your face look just like beyond gorgeous,

and it's definitely very toxic. But everyone's joking, like, re-yassify the M&M's immediately. And basically, we've gone too far where. How do you spell yassifying? And basically we've gone too far where we're still yesifying. Why ASS-S-I-F-Y? It's a new concept here we're introducing on Giggly,

but I also think we have to stop equating girls being sexy with that being like demeaning, you know, with it being weak. Right, like why does she have to wear sneakers if she wants to wear heels? I guess they were afraid that it was too like heteronormative. And they just went a little too far.

Is there anyone out? Oh, I think the brown M&M wears heels. Yeah, but she has like low, low kittencut inhale and she has glasses to show she's she's smart. So you can't be you can't be having only fans and be an M&M. Exactly. On the next live. It's fucked up because I have to tell you these girls and only fans are fucking smart. Dude, they really fucking are.

I saw something the other day. It was like a random. I think it was like a New York Post saying it was just like this random ass girl who was like, I like lost my job so I just started it and only fans and she made like a million dollars in one week. And I was like, what? Am I doing wrong? No, I have a comedy friend who was like struggling financially. So during the day she does only fans and she's like

making over like 10k a month or something when she started. We are only fans proponents. We are pro only fans. They're taking control of their sexuality and they're making the finances that they want to do and doing what they're comfortable with. Right. Right. The time which is beautiful. But yeah they said the green M&M is newly liberated from her white boots. Let's lose. I'm pretty sure Paige D'Sourbeau was never liberated from a white boot. Nor do I want to be. Never.

I don't ever want to be liberated from my knee-high boots. If someone took my knee-high boots away, I would riot. As someone who considers herself like a sporty girl, when I first was playing tennis, I was like, oh, I want to play like a boy. And then I was interviewed when I was younger. And a lot of these feminist blogs were like, this is fucked up. You don't want to say you want to play like a boy. You want to just reestablish what it means to be a girl.

So instead of making it like, oh, wearing heels is inherently bad. Too girly. Or too, that being girly means you're weak or like, like, wearing heels is inherently bad. Two girly, yeah. Or two, that being girly means you're weak or like, like the patriarch is controlling you. Instead, let's embrace the feminine, be like, no, this is how girls play. I wanna play like a girl, I wanna be like a girl, which is complex

and so many different types of women, but we can't make it like it's not okay to be girly. Also, like, I would consider my overall self extremely girly, but there are days where I want to legit dress like a boy because I like it. Like I like wearing like a trouser and a sneaker and a turtleneck and an oversized blazer and literally looking like a news reporter from the 1990s.

But it's like menswear, but I like it. It's because like they're associating heels with like just trying to make men like you are like a secretary and mad men wearing heels when it's like no do a leap is wearing heels fucking selling out stadiums. You also don't have to be the same type of girl every single die. Yeah, like he's in a box. Yeah Just lick our box whatever. I like peanut M&M's better anyway For some reason someone convinced me they were healthy when I was younger and I used to just like

Peanut M&M. Peanut M&M So just eat an exorbitant amount of peanut M&M's Somebody did it TikTok and it was like okay, so we changed all the M&Ms, but did we look at the ingredients in M&Ms? No, we did it. No, we did it. People like if you really want M&Ms to be better, why don't we take out the toxins?

Yeah. You wrote vagina face mask? Oh, my God. Go on, I'm. So the brand is called NAKY and AKY. And they come in like these, like, it looks like a triangle package. And it's called Muff Mask. So like randomly, I'll just get like packages that, like, I don't know who they're from.

Wow, that sounds like I get like bombs every day. So I get like PR packages. So I took them out of the package and I had no idea what it was. So I'm like looking at it and I open up and it's like this mirror and it's in the shape of a triangle and I'm like, what is this like new makeup like face mask thing? So then I'm reading the thing. Their face masks for your vagina. And what do you think you're you say it was like vagina juice that you put on your pores?

No, and let me tell you something. It brought my, like, at home, by myself, candle lit, face mask on my face, like, lying there, watching my shows, and then a face mask on my vagina, it brought my self-care level to a new level. Okay, I have a lot of questions. Is this for the skin on your vagina or like the actual labia? I don't know.

You're like, didn't read that part then to get to the show. I don't know. Didn't care, but felt amazing. I put them in the refrigerator because I put all my face masks. Oh, the cooling problem. And they're, yeah, so like putting it on, I don't know what the fuck it did, but like it did make me softer. Like the skin? Yeah.

Wow. So, wow. I mean, I do think people don't talk enough about The things that happen on your bikini line and around it because it's like embarrassing But like I suffered really bad from ingrown hairs for a long time because I was just like Unsolicely shaving shaving and then I would be sweaty and my I'd be chafing because my thighs touch Really it's such I would be sweaty and I'd be chafing because my thighs touch. Really, it's such taking care of her down there is a full-time fucking job.

Yeah, and I'd be embarrassed to wear a bikini because it looked like I was like a teenager with pimples. And she's just so finicky. Like, she can't do too much work during the day or she's like I might I might feel like I'm getting a UTI and like God forbid you Nick Car when you're shaving she's like I'm gonna bleed forever now thank you she's like I think you're forgetting that I'm the main character you know she literally overgina is the

main character you just like happened to have random thoughts but she's controlling everything wait I so you like this. I knew. I'm fucking love it. Amazing. I love it. But also I feel like you don't need this. Like you don't need another thing to obsess over about like being perfect on you.

This is feeding into your addiction. Here's the thing though. Whenever you feel like something,, have you ever been like, oh my god, something's like wrong with my vagina, but I don't know what is going on. Like, okay, remember the first time you ever got a yeast infection? Yeah, you're Googling your like,

and you're like, what the fuck is happening? Is this normal? And then it's like vagina and you're like, no, you have syphilis and you're like, what the fuck is going on? And then they have all these weird signs and you're like, I can't sniff my vagina anyway, continue. That is something no one talks about.

And they describe the scent so weird. They're like, if it smells like a coin that has been rotting for two days, you should go to a doctor. You're like, I don't know what a coin smell like. Or they're like, they say stuff about like cottage cheese. Yeah, or like, if they're like, they say stuff about cottage cheese. Yeah, and if they're like, it smells like yeast, you're like, I, but I don't know what yeast,

what is yeast smell like baking soda? Yeah, but you know when something's going on here of a join us, you're like, let me look at it. Let me see. Yeah. And so you take your mirror, the mirror.

I feel like everyone does the same thing. They take their handheld mirror, they put it on the toilet seat, you put one leg up and like you just look. I like that they gave you a mirror in the package because I feel like you should know what it looks like so that in the case that something really is wrong, then you look at it and you're like, yeah, that doesn't look right. Do you ever look at it and you're like, oh my god, that's what my man sees way more than I do. Or like you look at it and you're like, this is... I'm like, you're just like, how? Does that turn so many people on?

You're like, I control the world with that thing. You're like, it's literally a sore in between my legs. Wait, I just pulled up the different sense. It's fucking hilarious. Number one, tangy or fermented. Is it kimchi? What are you saying? It says yogurt, sourdough bread, and even sour beer

contain the same type of go back to here that dominate most healthy vaginas. Yeah. Then it says coppery like a penny. Yeah. Sweet like molasses. Oh, okay, who? China's yeah, then it says coppery like a penny yeah Sweet like molasses. Oh, okay, who's what girls are walking around the sweet like molasses But China and who's dick did they suck in heaven seriously? It goes when we say sweet We don't mean freshly baked cookie sweet we mean robust and earthy. Okay, is this a wine? We're talking about yeah or a candle from home goods Now it says chemical like a newly cleaned bathroom.

Is bad, I would assume. And it says like bleach or ammonia. It sometimes could be a reason to see a doctor. And then it says skunky like B.O. or smoked herbal earthy scent. It's not just you, but it could be smell like marijuana. Oh my God. And the reasons for skunky odor is emotional stress.

And this is what we're saying. Yeah, that's the other thing. Like nothing medically could be wrong with you, but your vagina's like, I feel depressed. So like, this smells. You're so right, they're saying like it's nothing to worry about, but sometimes it produces sweat to cool your body down and it could smell like weed.

That's fun. Fishy or that filet you forgot about. Who forgets about a filet first of all? Wait, the last one is the best. It goes rotten like a decaying organism. No. If it smells like a petro dead organism in me, not be your vagina, but something. He's the way he's trying to. Like a forgotten tampon. No.

It happens. But guys, it says, when you should see a doctor, this is a doctor podcast now. If your face scrunches up from smelling it, like rotten fish are dead organism decay, these are red flags Okay, okay, well we learned something there. Yeah, but there's so many steps I bet if like guys ever googled anything about their dick

They just like if it like smells bad you should go to a doctor It's like one centren it's like not bro. You'll be good. Just like use that axe body lock You're like that was a full menu Okay, but the face mask. There's three different ones. Okay. One is the suzer, the juicer, and the rehabber. Once left, you're like crazy. Are they scented? I actually don't think they are. Because people say it's not great to have fake sense by your pussy. So the rehabber, one of the things they said, it's really good if you are postpartum and it eases discomfort and inflammation.

And it has aloe vera in it, which hazel, camomile, like it's all, it has no like preservative, sulfates, dyes, no fragrances, like it's all very natural, like it's all like good for your vagina. I can't believe no one's done this before. Yeah, it's because a lot of the decision makers are men and that's why tampons are still like a fucking cloth. Yeah, I'll post, but the brand is called Naked and they're called Muff Masks, which also and they're also like very cute packaging. Yeah, like branding's good. Yeah, masks'll post, but the brand is called Naky and they're called Muff Masks, which also, and they're also like very cute packaging.

Yeah, like Branding's good. Yeah, like Masks cute. We love a literary shunga this one. Also, I ran them late at Sawantik Tok. The other tampons used to be like, wool, like you put wool up your vagina like, and you know how we are about sweaters? Like no.

Remember the first time you opened a tampon and it was cardboard and you like looked and you're like, what the fuck is this? Like you didn't even know they made them like that? You know, I didn't use a tampon until I was 18. You're literally the Virgin Mary. It's so adorable to me. Because I only knew how to use pads, which is insane because like it's a literal diaper.

And it happened because I was in college and I got my period right before we were about to go out. And I was like, does anyone have a pad? And my friends were like, what? And I was like, I was like, wait, how old were you when you got your period first? 14. I was late too.

So I was a freshman in high school. Yeah, so my friend basically was like, do it. So I was scared. I never had stuck anything up there. And my friend being like, I'll do it for you if you want. And I was like, no, no, no, no. And then I definitely put it in at like a weird angle because it hurt.

Wait, Hannah, so you went all through high school. You played tennis. Yep. And you wore pads? Like, you just feel like you're walking around with a diaper on. A diaper full of blood, it's gross. I remember the first time I got my period. I was literally, it was like, I was going to a winter prom.

And I like called my mom into the bathroom and I was like I was going to a winter prom and I like called my mom into the bathroom and I was like oh my god and she was like okay like I have a pad for you and I was like I want a tampon. She was like slow. Not China, but you are the green M&M. She was like slow your fucking roll. I think you're gonna use the bomb. Oh mom, screw up with pads or like I yeah, I don't know I just I hated the feeling of feeling it come out and You don't feel that with like a tampon usually Yeah, well also it's this just it's dirty when you open it Where tampon just block you just cork that should in but I just remember being so

Traumatized because it was like a pressure moment like everyone's like we have to meet the hockey guys at the KK and you're fucking taking forever and there and I was like I'm about to fucking take my own virginity and I know what I'm at. I was such a scared little girl. You're such a little baby and then from the end she does tampons and she's a new woman. I will say because I will only use organic tampons because again she's so. Because you think you're better than everyone? Yeah, I'm just a lead. A lot of them are still made with cardboard. So if I'm in like a jam and they don't have like the brand I usually use, I'm cardboarding it. So I like basically from the 1930s. That's like so relatable that you use cardboard tampons. I always fuck it up. Do you ever, do you feel bad when you

fuck it up and you have to throw it away? Yeah, like when you pull it too hard before you've been put it in so like broke and you're like, oh man. Yeah, or I pull it out and the whole thing comes out when I'm pulling it out. Yeah. Sorry for our gaglers. You won't understand 100% but it's the more you know. Let's discuss Pete Davidson and Colin Joost. Okay. What specifically are they fighting? They bought a Staten Island ferry. What do you mean they bought a Staten Island ferry? Oh my god, you didn't hear about this?

No. Oh my god. Peter, if it's in Colony Joe's bag. Like a boat? Like the ferry? So, and the founder of the stand, which is like the comedy club I'm at, they're all like buddies and they bought an old Staten Island ferry boat that they want to turn into a Carbagia.

Basically a live entertainment space with comedy, music, art, etc. And they don't want to see it go the scrapyard, they want to make it cool. Now I know in New York City they have a lot of these big boats that become like a party boat that's actually so fun. So I think this is an awesome idea. It was $300,000. Do you want to know something? I don't even know where Staten Island is.

Like if someone said you have to go to Staten Island right now, I would be like, oh, how do you get there? Where do you go? Did you ever go to like Ellis Island? For a, for you guys never went for like a trip, like a school trip? No, my school didn't give a shit about us. You went to like the Boston Aquarium.

They're like, that's good enough. I think this will be really cool. It's San Island is basically just like an exotic island off the coast of the past. Wait, so you like, you like get, no literally. It's like a European country that like, it's our abyss of. Yeah, if I think the West Side is Europe, it's the Fiji Island, Staten Island.

Wait, so like you pay to go on the boat and just sail around and like listen to comedy and stuff, or is it when people are going from New York City to Staten Island? Like, is it running as a normal ferry? Or is it like, they just go? That's a good question, because the one that I go on called the lobster, it's like the lobster boat or something, you pay like ten bucks or something, go on.

It goes around the Hudson and then it brings you back and you buy stuff while you're on there. I don't think anyone wants to go to sit in an island necessarily. It's probably going to be a lot of Manhattan nights that just want to ride around on the water. What are your thoughts on Colin Joost? Not my type. Yeah, not my type. Me neither.

Like, like if he wasn't Colin Joost and I met him at a bar, I would be like, probably not. Yeah, but he jokes about having like a very punchable face. That was like his, I think he wrote a book called like having a punchable face. He looks like the most annoying guy in the lacrosse team who like wants to mansplain everything to you. And then also has like a really rich family

that gave him everything, but pretends that he did it by himself. And then, But like deep down he has a good heart, but it's like you can't get past how douchey he is. Just his douchey phone structure. Yeah, which I feel like was like every boyfriend I dated in high school. Yeah, he also kind of plays the straight man on SNL, like he's not the like funny, funny one. He's just kind of straight forward. So you don't really see his personality that much,

but for him to be with Scarlett. But this is a great example of a couple that chooses to not be in the limelight. Yeah. Like, it's not that, oh, cameras just wanna see Ben and JLo all the time, like actively scarlet jams and in Colin Jo's wanna protect their relationship and don't want to be like a A weekly relationship. I

Thousand Sound people are like no Jailos just in love. I'm like this is literally what people pay hundreds of thousands of PR for it that you're witnessing so you say that Don't feel smarter. No, I know, but it makes me feel angry too. Knowing how the sausage is made and seeing people not know how the sausage is made and then bully people because they ate the sausage. Yeah, because like people DM you like Craig posted, Craig posted like a photo, like a photo carousel of like all like pictures, like random pictures from Aspen. And I literally didn't wear makeup.

I wore makeup like once that trip. I didn't even really wear any of my outfits because we were like in the house the whole time. So we have like no pictures, but he added one picture of us, like the one time we went out to dinner, like at the last slide. The amount of DMs that I got that were like,

it's like we think it's really weird that he put you with last. Like we don't know, like what's going on? Do you think like he really likes you because like you would've been the first picture and like just crazy shit and I was like, this is insanity. Like he's a big meaty.

People love, we love the drama, we love the drama. It's, you can see everything through the lens, you wanna see it. You could be like he's being a dick or you could be like wow He's like he saved the best not trying too hard. Yeah, he was just like I don't know. I just got it Like he doesn't know Thing is posting photos also he wanted you to make it to the end. Yeah, it's just I I didn't Save the best for last I didn't, oh, people are so weird. Save the best for last. I don't know, that quote. Wait, you said it, did Tinks say that quote?

That quote. Guys, okay, the other day when I quoted Tinks, Hannah called me the next day and she was like, she was like, you do realize that you were quoting Tinks, he was quoting Ralph Waldo Emmer's. You dumbass. I mean, I laughed for the... I was like, that was Robert Frost, okay?

I was like, tinks is my Emily Dickinson, okay? Like, everything tinks as I agree with. To wrap this up. Tinks is my Emily Dickinson, okay. Like everything Tinks says I agree with. To wrap this up. Why? What is this app idea you have? I don't know. It's just checking the notes because she forgot. Oh my gosh.

She wrote. So look, I love binge watching a series, especially if it's a series that like I know Craig is not gonna watch with me. So like, like sex in the city, or like some girly shit on Netflix, whatever. Recently I feel like there's been nothing to watch. And I have a whole, like if I had the time, I would write so many strongly worded emails

to HBO Max, platform. The Hulux. The Hul Max, these are the get it together. I have to make is on my hit list. Above the like you have to do a legal shit to even just watch the HBO Max stuff you paid for. Like they're like, oh my God, do you wanna watch the show? Well, yep, yeah, now you're watching it and like they don't give you a preview.

You have to get a clip- You have to get a clip- You have to get in sometimes. I have to traffic HBO Max into my computer. The No Summaries is like- I'm not okay. I can't judge a book by its cover. I can't watch it for four seasons

to decide if I like it. Give me a 30-second recap. That's why Netflix is so good. I know sometimes it's annoying when you're scrolling and the trailer just starts, but I appreciate it. Because I'm like, I watch the first time, Zach, and I'm like, nope, I'd hate that.

Next, like whatever. So. So what's your app I do? So my app idea, if someone smart wants to make this, I'm like, partner with me. I want there to be an app that goes through everything that I have in my Roku. Knows everything that I've watched. And then like, okay, we know you watch this on Netflix. We know you watch this on HBO Max. Here's other shows like it on different platforms that we think you.

Oh my god, mom mom Jesus fucking Christ you just scared the shit out of me oh my god I thought you were like my maintenance guy coming in to kill me all right okay I'll be done with it I recorded oh my god thank god I'm gonna go viral page why don't you let them kill you we would have literally solved a murder and then you'd like your documentary would be coming out. This is not a ski murder podcast. Anyways, I'm like fucking app idea is like, okay, you watch sex in the city.

Here's a show on Hulu that is kind of like that that you would like. Start bingeing it. Like I'm sick of asking people, what are they watching? This isn't a great idea because the reason Tiktok is so successful is that they figured out the algorithm. So you know how it understands your algorithm and then you'll be on Instagram and you're seeing

reels and you're like, wait, that's not me. That's not me. So it's like your Netflix will figure out who you are and then you go on Amazon and you're like, oh, but you don't know me Amazon Prime. I have to like re-learn. It's like having to go on four different dates and you forget what you're telling each of the guys And I see you know you're like, where am I even at with this guy?

The amount of time that that Instagram is giving me like Russian bloggers to follow. I'm like, I don't live in Russia. I don't. I feel like this is too much for a hat. How many fur hats do I have to look at? I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, they don't, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, He has had a traumatic last couple days. What do you mean? Okay, goodbye everyone. Bye!