Giggly Squad - Giggling about fingering, friend jealousy and outfit disasters
Episode Date: July 6, 2022IT'S A SPECIAL ADVICE EPISODEEE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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What is up my galactic gigglers? Wow! That just came to me. Yeah, that was a good one. Welcome to the Giggly universe.
Wait, how many? We never, like, I've never looked because, well, I'm lazy, but, like, how many
episodes of Giggly Squad do you think we have? I should ton. Because we don't take a break, and then I
realize people have, like, seasons. Yeah, we didn't know about that. No.
No.
We didn't, like, do we ever, like, I've never,
we've never inquired of like, do we have a week off?
Some people have seasons, they have storylines,
they have vacation breaks, we don't.
We don't.
We travel with our equipment in case something comes up
that we must discuss.
Even if we lose our equipment everywhere,
we figure it out.
You know what, this is a journey that we're on.
Does it come out Monday?
Does it come out Tuesday?
Who knows?
Some housekeeping.
We have literally a handful of tickets left
for our third show in New York in September.
And a literal, tiny handful, like a baby's hand left
in Boston.
Go to our link.
Also, I want to say Sierra was on Burning Hell in Hell
and her episode was amazing.
And I think you guys would enjoy it.
Thirdly, look at me acting like I clean.
I clean running.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It really helps us to leave reviews.
If you listen to Giggly Squad on Apple Pods,
and I decided we're planning new live shows.
So leave a review.
Tell us where you live and where we should go
for our next live show. Oh, yeah, because we're having a hard time fake like I know I want to go to the South and I know I want to go to Texas
But like where Austin Dallas, Houston
Right, I actually only know those three. Oh
Pasadena real brown California
Pasadena
Pasadena. Real brown California.
Pasadena.
It sounds like it should be in Texas.
Is Texas the South?
We've asked this and it's not.
It's its own.
It's just Texas.
It's just Texas.
That's the main character energy I'm obsessed with for them.
I feel like at some point in my life, no.
You're not moving to Texas.
No, I'm moving.
I mean, I would do Austin for a weekend.
I would totally do Austin for a weekend.
You would love Austin because it has an aesthetic.
We love an aesthetic.
I just like to know rules before I like go somewhere
and I feel like places that have like actually,
you know the outfit rules, makes it easier for me.
Like Miami, I know what I'm getting into
when I'm going to Miami.
You know?
Huchi mama.
We have a very special episode today
because we have not given advice in a while
and I feel like the giglers are running wild.
You know, like they haven't been guided
in the right toxic direction.
I haven't responded to any of my college girls
like with their
text messages. Yeah and then they come to me they go hey can you ask Paige what I should wear
this weekend. I have my own journey right now that it's like I'm trying to figure out and like if
I even gave you advice on this it would be wrong. I love our college girlies I love our mom glitters
I love our gaglers let's begin. I love and they're so fucked up. My boyfriend, I have some fucked up ones.
My boyfriend has resting bitch face,
so I always think he's mad at me.
Help me.
I think that's a great quality, because you don't,
he doesn't hate you.
He doesn't.
If he hated you, he wouldn't be there.
I have to say does has resting bitch face whenever
he plays sports. Like, we'll'll be playing volleyball and he's just like angry face and my mom will straight up be like is he okay?
And I'm like no, that's his having fun face. That's just how he has like afterwards to be like those best those best time my life
And I'm like you looked like you were gonna murder everyone's family
See Craig has the opposite he has like resting happy face and that freaks me out more.
I'm like, the fuck are you happy about?
Yeah.
Who the fuck are you thinking about in this moment?
Also I feel like people are more apt to talk to him,
like strangers, which,
oh, no, no.
No.
Craig is like one of those people that like,
if we go anywhere like on a vacation, we
have like we make a couple friend.
And like, okay, once like your friends with them and like you have a drink, like it is
fun sometimes, but the initial talking, I'm like every time I'm squeezing him his hand,
I'm just like, why are you doing this to me?
Like I hate small talk.
Does thinks he's the mayor of West Hampton and has to tell everyone
what's going on all the time and I'm like I think you're freaking people out. They just
want to get a tan. He's like coming in with the weather report and like what's going on
in China. No literally the swell, the swell of the ocean. No one gets a fuck at the
swell that he's like the swell is big today. Oh, then in our beach beach This motherfucker got bit by a shark
Right in West Hampton bit by by shark and des goes to small shark small shark. It's like a dog bite
It's like a dog with small shark. I go look what?
It's a you got bit by a shark and you go just fine. It's no big deal. I think pools are boring. I like the ocean
You know, that's heavy. We've ever been bit by a shark? I do have to say though, if I'm going to die in this lifetime, if I'm going to die, I want
to go out being bitten by a shark because that's just bad ass.
I don't want to die anything water or fire related.
Yeah.
Like, if it just happens, I would like it to be swift and like I didn't even know.
You're like I kind of want it in a Zara.
Like I can't find something in a Zara.
But somebody said to me the other day they were like,
Pedro's so fucking nuts.
She like goes to Zara to calm her brain.
And I was like, I just feel like that's the rudest thing ever to say what calms different people.
Like, but it's live.
Yeah.
Spada, spada, bugging on.
Zara, like girls, I don't know.
If there's like a weird competitiveness
when I walk into Zara.
Yeah, like if you put something down
and someone comes and picks it up,
it's like well now we're in a fight
and then like where's your boyfriend?
Cause I'll fuck him.
Now I have to follow you the whole time
and try to steal all the size sixes, okay?
Ooh, this is a good one.
What do you do on days when you're feeling self-conscious
or unsure of yourself?
Post a thought squat pick.
No, see, like for me, when I'm feeling self-conscious,
posting a pic will just make me spiral.
I try not to do any social media, like when I'm feeling self-conscious.
True.
This is gonna sound corny, but it's actually talk to your friends because your friends,
like, love you for you and all your imperfections.
So I feel like when I talk to my friend,
I'm like, well, she doesn't hate me,
so why am I hating me?
Yeah.
My one girlfriend, my best friend from high school,
she is a very anxious person.
And so whenever I'm really anxious over something,
I text her who has a very normal, lovely life
and has been dating her boyfriend.
And it seemingly just seems lovely.
And I'll text her and be like,
do you have anxiety?
And she'll be like, every single day at all times.
Yes, everyone has anxiety, don't get in your head.
Yours is so much worse than everyone else's.
And it grounds me.
What I recently learned about my anxiety
is I'll do this thing where I'll find something that stresses me out and
Put all my anxiety onto it and
Make it just like I have this one problem. Instead. It's like it's not really the problem
You're really fixate on one thing and think like every day
I'll I have a little OCD though and I'll be like if this didn't happen to me my life would be perfect
It's like no, you're stressed about something else but it's like the sole
reason I hired an assistant because I was like I feel like these are the
things that stressing me out I'm gonna hire someone to do it and she does it
and I'm like still stressed because I feel like I could have done it on a
delegation beautiful no I know it is so I'm working on on like when I, it's almost like trigger warning.
It's like emotional cutting where you're like,
oh, I'm going to go back to that comfortable, anxious feeling.
I have a bow certain situation.
Like I feel like in relationships I've done it before,
where I'm like, you're stressed like,
for example, he doesn't like me, he has wrestling bitch face.
That's an anxiety thought.
It makes no sense. There's other shit going on in your life and you're putting it onto like that
situation to almost simplify the anxiety that never made any sense in the beginning. We're not high.
I'm gonna tell you that now. We're not high.
Speak for yourself. It's an intrusive thought. Yes. Which I never believed in.
Like I was like, I don't get what an intrusive thought is, but it's a random thought that
like your brain just happened to make up for you and now you've made it real.
Like, okay, you guys resting bitch face, but you made up that that face doesn't like you.
Minus Sandra.
Yeah.
But also Paige, how do you differentiate an intrusive thought from a sign from the universe. It's very tricky.
Is the truth of thought or is it my ancestors warning me about something important?
Right, seriously.
Is that like, like whenever I have a really bad dream about Craig, I'm like, is the universe
trying to tell me something?
Yes.
Like, or?
Yes.
Like, did I just like make this whole thing up?
So I have to call him and be like hey, where were you last night?
Were you fucking a redhead or no?
And he's like I literally slept with you.
So I feel like I'm literally trying to poop in the bathroom in the same house as I just walked away for two second.
Now we're getting a little freaky.
Can I tell my mother and law to stop kissing me on the mouth? Seriously though.
Kissing her on the mouth or at the husband?
The mother-in-law.
Look, she's probably Italian.
It's a mother-in-law.
She's Italian.
Honestly, get lean-in.
It's what I say, lean-in.
Put a little tongue in there.
Make her on the get.
Make her on the get.
Throw a little tongue, okay?
She's definitely Italian.
Because I've had Irish moms, like I'll go to hug them and they're like absolutely not
and I'm like, I respect your boundaries.
But here's the thing, we have Italian moms and I don't, I haven't kissed my mom on the
lips in years except I actually recently was really anxious
and really depressed and when she was leaving me,
she did kiss me on the lips.
But I don't think that's like a normal.
I, and I'm very tall and I love affection,
I love attention, but I am not like a kiss on the lips person
if I don't also have sex with you.
Yeah, like I've accidentally kissed my mom's on the lips.
I've accidentally kissed a lot of people on the lips
You know in New York we do a lot of the like yeah, I'm the chief and you don't know if that person just went to Europe
They're doing the double double
Sometimes they do the air kiss. I've accidentally kissed so many people on the lips
I've and I just learned that if you do the double double you go left first
Yeah, but sometimes when you're like doing the cross you're crossing.
Yeah, they can. I don't know. I just awkward though. Like I have very awkward
hello interactions. I would say just say you're sick. Be like, oh, sorry I'm sick.
I also am trying to let's normalize every time someone walks in a room you
don't have to hug them. Hello and hug them. Goodbye. Like I've been trying to
actively stay seated because I'm like, I don't want to. Like I've been trying to actively stay seated
because I'm like, I don't want to,
like I don't want to.
I love that.
I love that.
Sometimes I feel a little bit I'm being rude
if I put out my hand to shake,
but it's like I don't know when I want to hug.
I don't even need to.
Yeah, like get off of me.
Like I don't need to hug you just because you're like leaving.
Like a simple buy will suffice and I won't feel like you.
Can we just not even do buys?
Yes, and we just cut the buys.
Just leave.
Do you know what in Ireland, an Irish exit is when they're so
talkative that it takes forever to say goodbye.
It's called an Irish goodbye.
But it's the opposite of America and Irish goodbye.
It's just like leaving.
So they got very confused when they came to the wedding.
Oh my God.
Wow, it's so crazy how things mean different things in countries.
OK, OK, this was funny.
Keep having sex dreams about my husband's hot brother.
How can I make it stop?
Oh my God, that is some subconscious shits.
I'm gonna say this out loud.
Does has two very good looking brothers.
Very, very good looking brothers.
Very, very.
And I'm gonna leave it at the end.
And I'm gonna leave it at the end. And I'm gonna leave it at the end. Okay. Like, like I've always thought that does
is a very handsome man.
And then when I saw his brothers at the wedding,
I was like, does I'm so sorry?
When you find out he has hot brothers,
but this thing, does the oldest.
Yeah, so it's hot to me,
cause it starts pulling them and I'm like, yeah.
We love it.
We love it.
So, he starts like snacking them around and I'm like, okay, I see the alpha is, but um,
yeah, Craig has a very good looking brother, but Craig's like the older brother.
So, I'm just like, obviously I'm going to be the older brother.
Come on.
My advice is always go for the older brother.
Second of all, I feel like the
dream is more you're going for something for Bidden. Like you're just like being low naughty.
I don't think it's anything to do. It's just that like you can't. It's not him. You're not in love
with the brother. You're not in love with the brother. But what do you think it is? Because I do
think dreams have meanings. I think dreams have meanings, but I think maybe like
Maybe you want more from your sex life. Yeah, I think maybe it's like you want to be more naughty in your sex life
And in your dream life like that would be so bad if you had sex with the brother or just like call him his brother's name during sex
Let's find a healthy in between okay
named during sex. Let's find a healthy in between, okay?
I've gained weight and I'm too self-conscious to have sex with my boyfriend.
How do I hop on it anyway?
Oh, I hate that.
I hate that feeling.
That is the worst feeling ever.
I do have to say that does is like, he has like a phobia of me getting too
skinny and I've actually read like I think he's trying to fat me up sometimes.
Yeah I'm definitely always trying to find and cry that. You have to get into the
a male's brain. Men can't tell if you cut your hair seven inches they will not
care that you have a couple roles
on your stomach when you're riding their dick
with your right pussy.
Right.
So true.
So true.
I, a wise woman, one side.
To have a little bit more junk in your trunk,
you gotta have a little bit of a belly.
You said it.
Is that what you said?
Yeah, you said it.
I did learn as women to protect our ovaries.
That's why we develop as we're older, a little pooch.
And also I have to tell you, men don't care that much.
If he's in love with you, he's in love with you.
I do know when you start feeling like, oh, I let myself go.
I'm not confident myself,
and I totally get that.
But when it comes to sex, you pop that pussy.
Just do it doggy.
They literally are only looking at your ass.
Oh, I love that, do doggy.
Also, there's a position, mom, whatever she's fine.
She gets it.
I was gonna tell her not to listen, but like too late.
Yeah, way too late.
They know who it is.
200 episodes too late.
You kind of lie on your side, and then take your top leg
and bend it up, and then you're kind of in a twist a little.
Yep.
And then let him go in there.
So like, no, it's just funny.
It's just like, because I thought,
am I picturing myself or am I picturing you
and does doing this position?
I didn't know where to go in my brain.
And so, honestly, either or,
either or wherever you feel safe.
I'm gonna picture you and Craig doing this.
No!
Craig is obsessed with you you and I feel like, doesn't I have a lot of similarities?
I feel like you and Craig kind of, I like you better though.
It's a big, you know, it's a whole thing, how like you're my best friend.
I still haven't called him mine.
No, and I think Craig sees that you respect me and he knows you just use him
for his body. So he doesn't know it. I feel like that might go to be true. Wait, oh my
God, I forgot to tell you this, whatever. I'll just say it on the bod. The one day I was
really spiraling. Like I was spiraling so bad just about like the general anxieties of like
reality TV and how much I fucking hated and
Literally everything's the worst and he goes I'm like he was starting to actually get like really mad at me because he was like
You know what you should do when you get like this and you don't do it and he said to me
He goes if you continue I'm calling Hannah like I'm calling
I'm calling Hannah like I'm calling
Wait, he was gonna phone a friend. He was like I'm gonna need a phone in a friend because this is gotten out of control Oh my god, that's like a parent
Yes, he was like because it seems like she's the only one that can really get through to you and tell you when you're being a
Fucking psycho and she's right when she talks about this stuff.
And you'd like go into like a different world,
you listen to other people and he was like, and so keep it up.
I love how you're threatened.
Do you like, we're gonna bring Hannah into this and you're not gonna like what she has to say.
I was like, don't you dare embarrass me.
I'm gonna tell Hannah.
Anyway, I so tell Craig, I'm gonna call his mom.
Because I will.
He's a 10 but can't clean up after himself.
A 12. I find it so hot.
Okay, so does an eye are notoriously creative and we're sloppy.
It's like honestly the hardest part about the relationship does has this little
nephew who loves coming to our house because he calls it the messy place
Where he's allowed to be a burner
He goes to go to the messy place because we let him drink any soda's he want my dad yesterday was like wait
You guys live all to me like go to sleep at like 3 a.m., you could leave food on the table,
I'm like, yeah, I'm living a teenage dream.
No, literally, I am in the same relationship.
We live college lives.
Unless I'm on some weird,
I'm going on a work like health bender,
which lasts for three days, then I don't give a shit.
So we are actually the worst person to ask
if your boyfriend doesn't clean up.
This is so bad.
Also, when we do clean,
the speed at which we can cause a hurricane
is incredible, the day after,
it's like, why did we even clean?
Do you guys have a cleaning lady?
We don't.
And it was my job to set it up.
And that's admin that I'm not prepared for.
I cannot be hot, smart, funny, and...
You can't get us.
Here's how I justify being messy.
I do have a cleaning lady who comes once every two weeks
and that is like bathrooms, floors, bed sheets,
like all my laundry.
And it's like this stuff that like you have to have clean.
Like you can't have a dirty shower.
But in between that, when things are on the table, I don't care about that stuff.
Doesn't our kind of outgoing our space where we have the most amazing couch and it's almost
bad to have too good of a couch because I literally fall asleep on it.
I eat on it.
I do podcasts on it.
I do TikToks on it. I do therapy on it. Does his asleep on it, I eat on it, I do podcasts on it, I do TikToks on it,
I do therapy on it, does his podcast on it.
So it's too much going on in one place.
You actually sent me the funniest, wasn't it, TikTok?
No, it was an Instagram.
I mean, I feel like I sent you a thousand.
Oh my God, I did something really bad the other day.
What did you do?
I was talking about some really funny TikTok and I said to Craig, I was like, I sent it
to you.
It's the funniest TikTok and he was like, you never sent me funny TikToks.
And I was like, I know that I sent it to you.
I sent it to you.
I felt so bad.
Literally the basis of our friendship is like, this is what you sent to me.
You said, this is by Johnny Sun
Hi, difficulty level escape room concept you're laying in bed and you have one hour to get out of bed
Because are you ever like okay? I'll get up in one hour and then I'll start it and then you're watching the minutes and it gets like
Like 15 and you're like oh no
Okay, the mind and body is crazy
because if you have a nine to five, you're fucking up.
Like I will get up out of fear
that I'll lose my job, I'll get up.
You don't have a nine to five, certain personality types,
like why, why get out of bed?
No, but it's also like, here's the other thing.
Okay, we did have nine to five. So we went to college.
Like in college, I actively signed up for eight a.m.s. Because I, you're conditioned from high school,
you're already like get you would get up that early. So I was like, I rather just do all my classes
in the morning and be done by like one and like have a full day. Solid, solid, solid fucking nap.
That nap hits different because you wake up and you're like, I'm ready to eat. So like, it's a bunch of dinner as a bowl, let's go.
And now I'm like, who could ever?
Who could ever?
That's crazy.
Like I can get this work done, whether I did it at 7am
or 7pm, like I'm doing it, who cares?
My giggly girlies, we are surrounded by toxic positivity
of people on TikTok who show up waking up,
drinking a hot lemon water.
Like, no you didn't.
No you didn't.
Like you really just pop it up
because you're so inspired to answer emails.
No you didn't.
And here's the other thing.
I have dated people before who were extremely
regimental. I mean, lived a very life is the word regimented.
Yeah, that means they're regimented and mentally ill, regimental.
No, literally regimental.
And it puts so much pressure on me to like change certain ways about myself and he would
always be like, but this is going to benefit you.
And I was like, and I understood that mentality
that yes, this probably would benefit my life,
but the fact that like, it's being pushed upon me
makes me wanna rebel and now I really am not going to do it.
When I'm not to say, what?
Like, some days I'll wake up and I'll be like,
I'm gonna get out of bed and I am gonna have my coffee now
and then I'm gonna get through these emails
and like, I'll do it on my own.
But I can't have you tell me to do it.
Well, the concept of like laziness because someone doesn't do like the stereotypical stuff
is hard and I also realize if you're conscious, if you have high anxiety like we do and you're
constantly having a literal war in your brain. That is taxing.
So like it might look like I was lazy all day,
but I'm fighting off demons, okay?
I'm actively funding off demons,
and that is exhausting.
What do you think I had to nap three times?
Because bitch is fighting for her life.
Inside fights in your brain with people who aren't there
is I'm like, oh my God, I'm exhausted,
but I want that fight.
So you're carrying a weight on your shoulder emotionally.
So sometimes when you're feeling lazy, are you lazy or have you been fighting with yourself?
And potentially losing.
No, seriously.
So, spits are sneaky.
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and enter code giggly 50. Okay. A man tried to finger me in public in daylight on day one. Ghost, right? Questermark? I love how she's like, do I or don't?
Immediate, immediate ghost.
That man deserves nothing.
No text message, no phone call.
I had even, I'd say block.
Why, why?
That's so forceful and so just like uncomfortable.
And like, Ike, like you don't, like in a day light,
okay, I could see, I have gone on plenty of first date.
Have I slept with people on the first date?
Absolutly.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Have I absolutely wanted to just bang the shit out
of someone I've gone on a first date with?
Of course, but like, if it's in the middle of the day, you just met and like, you don't want that.
Now, I'm sure that they're funny.
Words are chirping.
And like, how have you been getting in that mood?
Unless it's literally Liam Hemsworth coming up to you and being like,
can I put my fingers inside you?
Like, I don't want it.
Like, get away from me.
Do you know, when I was single, I would do this thing
because having a crush is fun.
So I would fall in love with whoever was the hottest
at the bar that night.
Yeah.
Like it's like a work crush.
Like you just do a survey lens.
You're like, okay, that's normal in my life.
Yeah.
And then you like figure it out.
And some nights you get lucky.
I remember this one guy for like literally three hours.
I was like, he was on my radar.
So when I was talking, I was on my flirt game, he was into it.
He takes me outside and then I'm like, you know when it all starts happening too fast.
And you're like, no, no, no, I want you to ask me about my family.
I don't know.
And then he pulls out a cigarette.
So it's smoky cigarette, which I hate.
I really hate it.
And then he throws a cigarette down and like sticks his
toe and he just tastes full full ash like you feel it throughout your whole body and I was so
disgusted and immediately I'm like why did we wait three hours for this and then he like tried
to unzip my jeans and this is outside in New York City like like on the sidewalk, and shove his hands in my jeans. No.
And first, no one's hitting a clit like that.
Like no one is like daintyly,
like slowly, literally never felt that.
The nesting your clit.
Like that's just like, like no angle
is gonna feel good like that.
Right.
And immediately I was so turned off by this man,
but it's just crazy how any girl is right now obsessing over a dude
You don't know that well
It's all in your head. It's better savages. These men are savages
Don't ever smoke a cigarette and then kiss me unless we're literally on the French Riviera and you own a yacht
Like unless we're vacationing in the South of France and we're heading to your yacht do not smoke a cigarette and then try and kiss me
It's giving me like a middle school dance vibes
Like you know when like a guy I figured her on the dance floor. No one's actually fingering anyone
They're just like putting their hand here like no one is orgasming
That you just more feel like violated and like,
no one's getting wet off like a dude just like chucking his fingers toward your thigh area.
Wow, I'm thinking of like all like my high school dances.
I feel like there was always a story like so and so got fingered on the dance floor.
And you know vision it like she just like had the most incredible orgasm., no, he literally was rubbing her in her thigh for three minutes and she was like can you stop?
Why was that always like the biggest conversation after dances like she got fingered
When the guy probably like tried and missed and then told all his boys
Now we're at isn't it funny now we're at an age that like if I walked up to you
and I was like, he fingered me.
Like in the car, you'd be like,
okay, you fucking weirdo.
Like even saying finger is like gross.
So gross, grow up and have sex.
I do have to say though, like European dudes,
I feel like nowhere the clip is. European dudes, I feel like, know where the clip is.
European dudes are very different sexually.
And like, I don't know if it's just like,
our brains are conditioned to be with like lazy American men.
But like, I enjoy it more.
I also wonder if European guys watch like different porn
than American guys.
Or this is all made up from me watching a high school movie where it's like she went
to France and met France wall.
No, I've been with French men and Italian men and it is very different.
It's very different.
It's very like, it's actually, yeah, it's very like, porny almost where you're just like,
there were multiple times where I started laughing and I was just like, okay, like, be normal.
Stop making that with your face.
Like, what?
It's funny.
The first time I was with a European, I was with a British dude and I was like, our British
guy is known to be like, you know, pretty bad.
And he's like, I'm pretty sure not.
I don't think we have that kind of reputation.
We kind of awkward.
We get kind of nervous, you know, we hope to think everything. And I like that. I don't think we have that kind of reputation. We're kind of awkward. We get kind of nervous.
We hope to think everything.
And I like that.
I love that.
Don't you love knowing?
After I started dating Craig, I remember talking about the first time we had sex and just
being like, I was so nervous.
And then him being like, I was fucking petrified.
And they think about it because if they get nervous they can't stay hard
Which we don't think about
They have a lot of pressure. He was like I was so
Hard they have no blood in their brains so they're not like being strategic right
I do have to say in another life. I
Totally see you with a funny British guy.
I totally do too.
And Craig can't even do an accent to save his life.
I mean, he has a cute little southern draw.
A little bit, yeah.
But I, yeah, I think I really do connect with like British humor because they're like dark
and sarcastic and I'm an American.
Oh my god, no, don't say that. Basically, this girl said that she has a friend
who is constantly jealous, like she just got a car.
And she goes, I just bought a house with my husband
and I'm scared to tell her,
because I know she won't be happy for me.
That's insane.
That's insane.
Also, you can't hide the house from her,
so you're gonna have to make a decision real quick.
I used to have a friend like that.
I mean, we were younger, though.
I think if you have a friend like that,
and you're buying houses with your husbands,
like you're too old to have a friend like that.
And I think my best advice really
is to just straight up distance yourself.
You don't have to get into a fight,
you don't have to give her an explanation,
you slowly, but surely stop telling her certain things, then it
just becomes like habit and then like it kind of it's like you drift apart.
You don't shouldn't even feel the pressure to give her those kind of life
updates because she's probably also hitting you up being like, I just got a
lap or doodle and you're like, good job. Say you're all, okay. Favorite non-
alcoholic wine. I'm pregnant non-alcoholic wine.
I'm pregnant and missing my afterwork glass.
Don't want to do a shout out too hard,
but Luan has a foe's a,
it's like fake rosé and it's really good.
I don't think I've ever even tried a non-alcoholic wine.
I craved drinks non-alcoholic beer a lot.
Really?
Yeah, I'm like, that's just so interesting.
He's like, I want the taste, but I have shit to do.
And I'm like, yeah.
Wait, that's like the name of the brand.
When you want the taste, but you have shit to do.
Oh my God.
What do I do if I get a bad dick pick that was solicited?
Good for you, girl. How is it bad though? Like what what made it bad, you know
Maybe she hasn't seen it yet and she wanted to test it and she didn't like it
Have you ever asked for a dick pick?
No
We're gonna ask me
We're gonna ask me. Have you ever asked me?
Okay, I-Page, how you have evolved from our first episode?
You basically waiting for me to ask you about if you've asked first day.
Page, have you ever asked for a dick pic?
Sure have.
Sure have.
What is the- What was the reason?
Well, I do long distance.
So it's so different.
So when we first started dating, it was a very different
relationship.
So yeah, I'd be like, OK, I want much going to be the only one
out here like, send a shit.
Yes.
No, for sure.
I probably would be like, send me something.
But I wouldn't specifically be like, show me. I just have I probably would be like send me something, but I wouldn't specifically be like show me
Maybe I have show me your
Cock
I hate the word cock
No, I'm in a sexual setting
You're also I feel like you're also not a big
Talker for how openly talkative you are about sex, I feel when you're actually
having the act, you're not.
It does. Am I a talker and bed?
No, not really. A gigalore would be now in that, but not really much of a talker.
Yeah, I see that for you.
We're quite vocal people, but in bed, I'd say we're less vocal, more subdued.
I feel like if we start talking too much,
Nick Sino turns into a podcast and will never get the deed done, you know?
But I think I talk more than him.
I'm into him talking, like his voice.
Yes, I'm very into the guy talking.
But I'm not trying to be witty and charming and bad.
No, we might just making noises like this.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a spot.
It's funny because people talk about how like you have a phone voice.
People also have a sex voice.
And people don't talk about it enough.
People do not.
I do baby voice in my relationship.
I said it.
Like in normal talking. I said it like in normal talking
Yeah, are you gonna bring me food? I I actually don't do a baby voice, but Craig does
Craig and I
I'm gonna shut up
Wait, so you respond to his baby voice in a non-baby voice? Yeah, I'm like grow up.
No, I'll be like, ever not, then.
I just, it's not like a daddy daughter thing.
It's more like, I just want to be so helpless and I need to be good.
Yeah, you just want to be, yeah, you want to be vulnerable and small.
You want to be small.
I was always so tiny.
Yeah.
But it's mostly when I ask for food and I feel like a dick asking for food, but I'm like,
you can't get mad.
Please, please.
You can't get mad.
Right.
Yeah, you can't yell at me when I'm doing that.
Yeah.
I just like lift my shirt up and I'm like, Craig, please, get me a drink.
I just envision you like, huh?
I'm literally in the out, and I'm just like, and he's like, okay. Okay. There's simple creatures.
We're making them two complex or simple fucking creatures.
So, so, so simple.
What was the resolution there?
She got a dick pic.
She didn't like it.
Any more context though.
I need to know what she didn't specific about it.
Go so.
He could have been having a bad dick day, you know?
Yeah, like, I mean, what would make you not be into a dick?
You're a hoe. I feel like if it was like if there were like red bumps on it. Yeah, like if it was which is fine. You know what's the biggest turn off? It's not the dick.
It's like if they send a mirror pick showing their dick
and they're like so douchey in the face with it.
Yes, you just nailed it.
You just fucking nailed it.
If they're so self-aware that they like their dick,
I hate it.
I want them to look like almost nervous
that they're sending the dick.
I want them to, I want to feel through the phone
that they're being vulnerable.
Exactly, I do not want it to look like you just went in your library of dick pics or like you do it too often.
I don't want his face in the picture if I want a picture of it.
You're so right. I don't want the face. Also, I prefer a video.
Me too.
And, girl, if you want to have even more fun, if he sends you a photo and it's a live photo,
play it, hold it down, see what's going on around.
I like that. I agree with that.
Does his friend tell us the funniest story that once he's like a comic and he's traveling a lot
and he'd been like jerking off and his dick is just like red and raw and sad
After and he like
Just run around town jerking off
Cuz these guys are just in hotels all day all they do is jerk off
So he took a photo for his friends to show that like his body was looking good and
Went you hold down the live photo you could see his like little tiny red
Peepy and they hold down the live photo, you could see his little tiny red peepie. And they all just started making fun of him.
Just by roasting him.
When you're taking a live photo, I feel like people have figured out that
they're manch cheating on them with a live photo.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Live photos are extremely important.
You can also save live photos as a video and then you get like a cute little like
four second video.
Okay, okay yeah, we can turn into like an influencer moment.
Page, I recently had a big event and right before I left, I burnt a hole in my dress.
What do you do? What's your reaction when you have a last-minute mishap with your outfit? I'll tell you what page does. She burns everything to the ground.
I lose it.
So I recently I had to go to a bout mitzvah.
And in the Uber, my zipper ripped,
and my dress dress was open.
And I had enough time to go home and change,
but the thought of picking out a new outfit
was crippling to me. Yeah, because I had a vision. I always have safety pins in my
bag, so I safety pinned it so it wouldn't fall. And then I just left my bag under my arm the
entire night, no one knew. She's a DIY queen.
DIY.
I know that you like ripped your pants or something happened with your pants.
I do remember that.
That was yeah like a long party.
I started crying.
I started you like crying.
I was like hey, I was like,
anything anyone's talking about right now?
It's not important.
It's a non-issue because my pants are ripped.
She went full dead in the eye and she was like panicking.
My mom was like, I'll give you my pants and you were like,
absolutely not because your outfit is directly attached
to your ego.
What did I end up doing?
You had your mom bring you, like buy and bring you pants within like 40 minutes.
So the garbage was, she did that with a broken foot and she was there in like 20 minutes.
Yeah, that was great.
She's a hero.
She really is.
Have good people around you, I think, as they answer.
Also, for me, because I've messed up a lot where like, I went to a Hampton's party early
on back in the day and I of course spilled wine on whatever white outfit I had on
Great conversation topic also
Lindsay Lohan's mom went up to me and gave me her scarf and like twisted it in the front
She's like I do this for my daughter's all the time. They always spill things. Don't worry
And I said thank you adopt me. So maybe you'll meet like a famous person in the process.
Yeah, I do think it's great conversation starter
because like, how many times have party?
Hi, where are you from?
What do you do?
Right.
Instead of like, look at my labia hanging out.
Look, I burnt myself.
Oh my God, like Becca split her pants in my wedding.
People loved it.
Oh my God.
Relatable, adorable. Her little butthole was showing in my wedding. People loved it. Oh my god. Relatable, adorable.
Her little butthole was showing the whole wedding.
I forgot she did that.
Ooh, how to deal with a friend that's so honest
that it's just fucking rude.
I think you have fun with it.
You go back at them. Yeah, I think you're just like, wow I think you have fun with it, you go back at them.
And you're just like, wow, sometimes you're such a fucking bitch.
Because they can take the brutalness of it.
Be like, okay, yeah, I've short legs, your dad hates you.
Like, what do you want?
Yeah, just like give it to them in return.
Yeah, so then like, if they want to keep going,
cool, we have this fun like, badgering relationship,
or she realizes, holy shit, I think I
offended that person.
I'm a little harsh.
Or you just stop reacting to it.
Like, I noticed sometimes people just like want reactions out
of people.
So it kind of just like don't give her the reaction she wants.
I don't think I've ever had a friend like that.
Also, I think we grew up with like brutally honest mom.
So anything like we hear doesn't really phase us now.
Is she just talking about us?
Like maybe we are the honest people.
I feel like most of my friends were just very honest
with each other.
But also maybe like why is it hurting you so much
what she's saying?
Because you know, it's true.
I'm not trying to take her side, but if you just
got them into a major fight.
I'm not trying to take her side, but... If you just got them into a major fight.
You're just gonna be like,
I'm not trying to take her side, but...
If you just got them into a major fight.
Like, is she too honest about something
that's super sensitive, that's one thing,
but if she's just being honest...
About your outfit.
But you know, yeah, like you,
but maybe some throwing a party
and instead of just enjoying it,
someone's being nitpicky or just like... What is she doing it to try and like embarrass you
in front of other people?
Because then that I have a real issue with.
Or just what you do is like tell her,
like you are so brutally honest,
you heard everyone's feelings in like kind of a funny way.
And then whenever she does it, don't respond.
It just be like brutally honest Anna,
like just keep like calling her be like brutally honest Anna like just keep like
like calling her out. Brutal. So like she starts realizing like holy shit. I actually yeah and she
gets like embarrassed. Yeah. Like she has an unhealthy pattern and you're not being a bitch about
you. Just like another. Brutal. Another brilliant. It's an a moment. Yeah. That's actually very good.
Okay. I followed him. He followed me. We never met, should I wait for him to DM me.
Did you like six of his photos?
Right.
We're skipping a step, sweetie.
You can either like, I usually, my max is three,
like three photos or whatever story he posts
regardless of what it is, you throw a DM in there.
Cause then it's like, oh, you're responding out
of like a photo
I've done that numerous times and then they act like they DM you first and you're just like okay
Well, I started this but okay. Yeah, sometimes like grid comments or likes are like a little public never
Good comment never
Good comments thirsty thirsty thirsty don't create comment even grid likes it's a little like
I don't know like don't show me he's in your algorithm instead I'm not into thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. Don't create comment. Even grid likes, it's a little like,
I don't know, like don't show him,
he's in your algorithm instead.
I'm not into respond to a story with an emoji.
No, it's gotta be words.
I'll do like LOL.
Yeah, like a good LOL is perfect because you're like,
because then they get it and they're like,
oh, she thinks I'm funny, then they have to respond
with something.
Don't respond with a question, because still they're like, oh, she thinks I'm funny. Then they have to respond with something. Yeah.
Don't respond with a question,
because still, that's like too thirsty.
Even if it's like,
LOL or like,
hate this,
like little things,
like,
oh my god.
Like, very chill,
very just letting him know
that you know he exists.
The first time Craig and I ever talked
was he DM'd me off of a story
and said like,
wow, that's
so sick and I just said yeah.
And then you're together.
And now we're dating so.
But yeah don't be afraid to like give a little because like these dudes, there's just
so much going on on Instagram you have to be a little like obvious with it.
I love my boyfriend so much it hurts.
However, I am so easily pissed off by things he says and I shut down in response as becoming
an issue on our relationship.
Any tips?
You don't love your boyfriend so much.
You literally hate him.
You hate him.
She goes accept when he blinks.
I want to punch myself in the throat.
I think there is a difference between, no, I do believe that she does love him very much,
but there is a difference between overall loving him and then like the day to day where
you're like you're show annoying.
Like there isn't a day to day what love is.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
So if you can't have a day to day where you really love him, then I don't think you overall
love him.
You love what he puts out to the world, but you don't actually love him if you're not
into the day to day and certain certain things that he like says now
If the things that are no
We're out here just ending relation
You don't love him you don't you don't but like if you're in
Particular settings or it's with particular people where he's like saying things that annoy you that's totally different
That's like an easy conversation to have
But if it's part of his legit personality,
then I don't think you would really like that.
But I feel like if you get embarrassed
in public with him, are you kind of just lying to yourself
in person, you just tolerate him and then when he's out
and about, you realize, oh my God, he's embarrassing,
but he's comfortable for you.
I'd love to know like what really annoys her, like what he does that annoys her. Yeah, like are you just in love with the idea of him, but then whenever he actually exists,
you're like, like she literally says, I'm so easily pissed off by the things he says,
and then I shut down. So you're not only annoyed by him, but you guys are not good at fighting about it.
That gives me anxiety.
That is actually something I haven't realized until dating Craig.
We're very good at fighting.
We've gotten very good at being like, okay, no, this is how I feel,
and this is what's upsetting me, and then fighting it out,
and not screaming at each other over it.
And that people, I really don't think, work on that
and not in a relationship because you have to fight.
Like people are always like, well, if you really loved each other
then you wouldn't fight.
No, you would just be really bored with each other.
Like you have to have a disagreement and argument, it keeps it.
Then you know the other person cares.
It's how you fight and how you get over it is what is important because that's life,
like that it'll always happen.
It's kind of like a cycle that you just have to keep improving.
Well, it's science.
Everyone, like after you get past the puppy dog phase, you then get into the like boundary
setting of the relationship,
where you each try to see each other's boundaries, and that's when most relationships end,
because someone's like, well, I don't fuck with this, and then someone else is like, well, I'm not moving.
And then you're like, okay, wish you well in your life.
But if you fight out the boundaries and you get past it, that means like, oh, you guys have set healthy boundaries.
If I get really mad and I'm fighting with Craig,
I can think of the meanest things ever
and you bet your bottom dollar, I say them.
And then, and I realize like,
I don't have to go for the jugular
and be like, no one in your life likes you.
I'm like, I don't have to say the really mean things.
And that's, that's like important to learn too.
Cause you're like, I do really love this person.
I don't want to just like hurt their feelings,
except sometimes you don't.
I love that for you.
That was the most Scorpio shit you've literally ever said.
You go, turns out, I don't have to ruin their entire existence
when we're fighting about whether we should get pancakes
or not.
So that is me living, learning, growing.
Literally. So that for you, she goes, maybe I shouldn't decapitate his entire
character because I've had boyfriends in the past, be like, you're
really mean sometimes when you get mad, maybe like that's just
who I am, like, get over it. But with Craig, I'm like, oh, I
don't really want to be mean to you like that.
And so I worked on it.
OK, last one.
Should I tell my boyfriend to delete his old pictures
with his acts on Insta?
I feel like I feel like I feel like sometimes you do have to though because they don't know what the
thing that you need to be looking for is when you do ask him the reaction that he has
when you ask him that.
Because it's not like you're saying delete this photo,
delete this memory that you've ever had,
throw it in archive out of respect out of me
that you are now moved on,
and like now there will be pictures of me
and you on your Instagram.
If he has a real aversion to deleting them,
that's a red flag.
Yeah, that's fucking weird.
And he's gonna give you, like,
but that's part of my life, that was my life.
And it's like, okay.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Unless you're a machine gun Kelly,
I don't really give a flying fuck.
Like, delete the goddamn picture.
I do think sometimes dudes too,
like rarely post on their Instagram,
so like you could have dated her two years ago
and she's like in the second row.
True.
So true.
And then it just looks weird whenever he's about to post a picture with you.
It's like, okay, so what are we in the Sister Wives Club?
Like, what's going on?
Delida.
But also you don't want to be dramatic, like,
like, deleting it, like, as if like a fuck you to her.
Conversations like that, I find best to not start it out with like,
hey, like, you should delete this. Like, that's so weird. Like, don't go into it with like, hey, like you should delete this.
Like that's so weird.
Like don't go into it like angry or like accusatory.
Be like, you have to say like,
hey, it kind of makes me like feel uncomfortable
and I feel a little insecure about it
and just like making me feel weird.
And like, do you think you would wanna,
like you could delete that?
And he's gonna be like, absolutely.
You wanna like make it like it was his idea
that he's doing something to help you.
Like kind of like, so what do you think
about people leaving photos of their exes?
And he'll be like, oh no, he's kind of weird.
It's like, it's crazy,
because I noticed that you still have
picks up with Sarah.
Yeah, and like it makes me uncomfortable.
And it's like, it doesn't seem kind of weird.
And he's like, oh yeah, I never thought that.
You know what?
I've noticed, I've noticed that every time
you want to like dog out a girl, you use an S name.
Something subconsciously is going on with S names.
Stephanie.
I have one with me.
I don't fuck with Stephanie.
Stephanie is my best friend from high school
and she listens to the pod and she's like,
if you could tell Hannah to stop using the name
Stephanie and really hitting me on comedy.
Well, it's not my fault that you pit us against each other all the time.
I'm going, my best friend, my best friend Stephanie, my best friend.
And then in high school, that's different.
That's, that's different.
Yeah, you're saying that I will never be the love of closest that you and Stephanie
are. And like, I don't mean to sound like a jealous bitch right now, but that
is not true.
Stephanie actively asks me about my
bachelorette all the time and how like she can't wait to go with you.
Really?
Yeah.
Are we planning it together?
Okay, good.
Actually, Seven, I get along really well.
You really will.
You really do too because she does admin.
She's so fucking good at admin.
No, she's, she's like a rock, I could tell.
Yeah, she really is.
She's such a good energy.
She's such a good energy.
So Stephanie, when I bitch about Stephanie's,
it's not you.
You're the queen of stuff.
Stephanie is the kind of friend that like I'm scared to call her
and tell her a situation because I know she's
going to tell me exactly what's going on.
So sometimes she'll text me and be like,
you never followed up on what happened.
Are you nervous?
You were actually the queen of that.
Yeah, no, you're the queen.
You're the queen.
Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna still be an idiot for a little
and like we'll circle back.
And she's just like.
You're the queen of not responding
and making a response.
Everyone's like,
oops, so she't talk about that.
So she, like, you communicate with your non-response.
Sometimes I'll just be like, are you okay?
You won't respond and I'll be like, so she's,
so she's literally sucking in stick, got it.
I have to go on my own journey.
No, I'm the same way too. I to go on my own journey. No I'm the same way
too I have to make my own mistakes I do have to real quick do a dope documentary
did you watch the machine gun Kelly documentary no what's it on it's on Hulu
okay it's called like something pink you really get a lens into machine gun
Kelly really and it definitely is like a huge PR stunt.
Like he basically has his daughter in the beginning being like, even though I never saw
my dad all the time, like, he's amazing, he's so talented, he's so underrated.
I love him so much.
He basically just like owns who he is.
Like he's just this like kind of like misfit, like kind of fit
of his just kind of be successful, wants to be loved.
How he was just out of club and he like smashed
a champagne bottle into his head.
So that's just machine.
That is typical machine.
That's just machine, you know, being here.
He definitely like wants to get attention
and tries really hard and and he's an idiot.
I do have to say what was weird about the documentary is his girl Megan Fox.
Megan if you're listening we do apologize for that.
She's in a lot looking like but like doesn't say a word.
Definitely doesn't pass the back deltas.
I don't know if she chose to be like,
this is about you, but like occasionally she'll show her
giving like an inspirational quote or something,
but he doesn't like, he should talk more to be like,
how she was a huge part about him blowing up.
I think.
I mean, yeah.
He basically is like I've been working hard my whole life.
I didn't just come out of nowhere.
I've always loved rock.
I love rap.
I love music.
I've been working my ass off.
I'm obsessed with I like drugs and I love parting and I love working hard.
He says I love drugs.
He does admit to like having some drug addictions going on.
Um, and I would push people away.
It's, it's definitely like these,
all these documentaries are starting to feel very similar,
like PR stunt.
And you're not having it.
Because you're a true documentary person.
I know what the nitty-gritty.
I know what's good.
You're not like, I'm not fully in.
You're not fully in.
But I do have to say, he's like lokey hot.
You've always had a real thing for him.
I do.
He's way skinnier than my type.
But like, he has that like stupid annoying swag
that like I have to fall for.
He's not my type at all. I can't even. He's funny. Is he funny? a stupid annoying swag that like I had to fall for.
He's not my type at all. I can't even. He's funny.
Is he funny?
Yes.
Maybe that's what you see.
Like he is funny. He doesn't take himself that seriously.
He's just kind of like...
Maybe that's why I've always picked Pete over him
because I'm like, but I know he's funny.
See, I feel like Pete could be like
sweet and dark in real life. I wear like machine art Kelly
I think is like so cringe, but like off stage. He's silly. Yeah, but he does talk about like how he's human
And he's like everyone thinks I'm cringe. Everyone thinks I'm a joke like everyone makes fun of me
Everything someone loser like he so you kind of feel like this dude is just kind of like him. Yeah, he's and also
his fans like they're like a lot of young people. He just wants respect and he's like whatever
I do no one respects me, they think I'm a joke. This is a machine gun kind of stand pod.
I like kind of but then I even like posted about it and the angry messages I was getting of like
Ew, I hate this guy. I'd never watch it. I'd rather kill myself than watch the hot this documentary and I'm like what did let's be honest
What did machine girl Kelly ever do?
Besides like mr. Kelly ever do T.O. besides hurt himself
Right, but besides like go through a journey that he just actively it was been sharing with us and
Loki like I like his song bloody Valentine. I do too. I love that song
She met my ex and out of this complicated. Yeah
That was really good. So like I kind of like him, but I
There's any music producers listening if anyone with heard that, I am available this summer, actually.
Crazy thing.
But also, I don't, him and Megan, I don't know.
He seems like so fucking annoying to date,
like a puppy and Megan is like.
Any really famous person is annoying to date.
Oh, for sure.
Even if you're also dating a really famous person,
like I have, there's certain things that are just probably
so annoying.
And I also didn't realize his whole life is touring
and Megan just kind of follows him around to a lot of tours.
And like a she shoots also her own stuff,
but like it's a lot of supporting him,
performing, getting drunk after, celebrating it.
No, no, no.
I want you to watch it and tell me next episode what you think.
Like if I'm all of the sudden,
like, want to fuck Machine Go and Kelly.
Yeah, or at least like...
Maybe I'll watch you tonight.
You should.
You want me to feel bad tonight, got it?
Yeah.
I will put that on.
Let us know if you guys liked the advice segment.
I just feel like we connect with you guys when we do it.
Yeah, I like to do those every once in a while.
And I love like making at least a couple girls break up with their
crushments. Yeah. It's fun.
We love you so much. Thank you for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later. Bye!
You