Giggly Squad - Giggling about getting kicked out of hotels, private jets, and tour life

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

This tour has been full of unforeseen circumstances. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are exhausted. So tired. We just got off the plane, and I was like, should we just repost the batch you read episode from a year ago? And then, Des was like, guys, you need to tell them what happened this week on tour, and we're like, but we're dying, and he's like, what's more important? Also, my hairspray exploded in my bag

that my microphone innocent, so now I'm literally inhaling hairspray. Wait, you're gonna get high. So, fuck yeah. So many things happened on this tour that were just like unforeseen circumstances. Circumstances? Okay, now we have to tell the story of the hotel de Bancala. Yeah, and I started, okay, this is my favorite story. Page books, an insane, expensive, fancy hotel.

It was $400 a night. When I saw it was like 800. Okay, whatever. It was expensive to the point that I was like, I'm pretty sure it was 433 with tax. Whatever price I saw at the time I was booking it, I was like, I don't deserve it. If I have to leave my bed,

I need to know that I'm going to a comfortable, safe zone with a mini-fridge. If they're still in their bullshit COVID no-room service, no business. If people didn't know room service were a little too long, it got excessive. To the point where I was like, let's- So then you Uber and they still make you go down into the lobby. This is the thing I stay at disgusting hotels, but I just need a bed. I kind of like being like, am I gonna survive tonight? I'm gonna feel like this bed has bed bugs.

For sure. We'll figure it out. A little itch never hurt anybody. Right. So I decided to book the Sheridan. Shout out to the Sheridan. So Paige gets dropped off at her castle and Me and Grace are our new Gen Z correspondent who we love go to the Sheridan. We're literally getting our keys to go to our

$100 rooms and page is FaceTiming me and I'm like, okay, this is is she okay? Like a beach and tone Okay, this is, is she okay? Like, a legion tongue. And she, a legion tongue. So I pick up and she goes, cancel your rooms now. And I'm like, cancel. Like a lot of us tell us when you even let your cancel. I'm like, we just checked in.

You're like, it's the Sheridan. That was so mean. The Sheridan's never done anything to you. Sorry, that one makes me so nice. That sounds so alitas. They were so nice at the Sheridan. Yeah was I scared yes But they were so nice was there blood on the floor possibly but were they lovely? Was there lemon water in the lobby? No

But if I needed it would they've gotten me a water? But did they have snack yet? So I was the he I think he heard you and you were like dude I don't know what happened, but they upgraded me because my room was smelling of cigarettes So they gave me a different room, but the only room they had is a huge room with like It was a penthouse and you're like can't see your rooms come back and what party together I'm gonna make up done and I was like have our photographer come to this hotel, do like an awesome photo shoot. This is a literal dream. So I tell a sharding guy and he's like, girl, no worry, I got you.

Cancels, we walk back, you would have hated it. We were walking back. We walk back to your hotel. We try to just break in, at first. Yeah. And we realize, and some guy goes up to us and he's like, you girls are getting your makeup done. Yeah. I thought that was really weird. I was like, for sure. You're like, sexist. I am getting my makeup done. How did you go to that? And that's sexist that you think two girls together. Are you just,

are you suggesting I get my makeup done? Yeah. What's happening here? I know that like I look a little foggy. I've been traveling. I am bloated in the face right now. And then I was like, maybe you think we're makeup artists because we're holding bags. But I'm like, we are in a hotel. People hold bags. Yeah. It was so strange. Yeah. So strange. And I remember telling Grace looked at me like, what the fuck was that? Like, that was weird. So we can't get it. We can't find the room. And then we find out it's in a whole different building. Yeah, it's like a whole different section. They love separating like really rich people from the normal people. And they were like, oh, you're in the normal people

building. So you go downstairs and I went straight to the desk and I was like, hey, my friend got upgraded. And we're going to stay with her page to Sorbo and they go, oh my god. Yes. Are you and they said are you a bachelor at party? And I go, no, we have a podcast. Yeah, and then I realized like they didn't know who you were Yeah, and they thought I was a bachelor at but it didn't process it because yeah, we were just like whatever I did good things like yesterday. I was a nice person. person. So then he goes we're like we're so excited. It's going to be so exciting and he goes can I film you? How excited you are for this upgrade? And I was like okay no we say like we're so excited for the upgrade yeah!

And they're loving it and I'm like they put it on the hotel's story. I don't actually don't know where it went and I should have asked asked before him. Hannah Brewerner, now this spokesperson for Herpes. We're so excited! And I was just like, how many things do you just say yes to and promote? So we go up and when I tell you, this was the most extravagant hotel room. No, I've never seen anything like that. And they should never get depressed. I am rarely like, that sounds so bad too, but yeah, I'm rarely walking into a hotel room

and being like, oh my god. Like it wasn't a normal door. It was like two huge. They were like, yes. Whatever, it opened like a- It was like a 10 foot door. Yeah. Even when I got to the door, I was like, wait, this can't be right.

I thought they put me in like a conference room. I was like, I think this is where they hold meetings. It was too big for a normal door. Then you walk in and there's a sculpture now if there's a sculpture in the lobby of a room You are a fucking queen made up you've made it multiple rooms upstairs You go up three flights to a whole another like sweet. Yeah, and then there's a suite on the left We start freaking out. We I think it's MTV Cribs We're literally P did I was rolling around in the tub. We ordered so much food.

We ordered it with so much food. Immediately the first thing we did, we were like, okay, well, let's get room service and then we'll- Rangers, prickly pear kombucha. We don't even like kombucha. We threw it in. I got chile killis. I do have to say there's no way to say chile killis

and be in a bad mood. Honestly, that's a good tip for therapists. Like if you have a client that's sad and upset, it's just over in your head, five times chile killis. Then I go page. Let's get the photographer to come here and we'll do a photo shoot here. We are like, on such a high, I call it dead.

We're looking up TikToks. We're like, what TikToks are we making in this room? We called both our significant others to let them know we're better than them. Yep. And we just sat there in our all our glory, and I was like, page, we made it. Not four seconds later does the phone ring,

and I think, oh, they're calling because. Some services. Room service is coming up or something. And the guy says, page, and I say yes, and he goes, small problem. We mixed up the names on the reservation and you are in the bridal suite. The bride's name was Paige and they had just given me her room and they're like we have to move you out of your hotel room. So we cried.

The world I know what's happening. The makeup artist comes in, we're me and the makeup artist are taking where, how cool is this? And you go, you have a look on your face of holy fuck. And you go, I'm like, but I already put it on my Instagram story. I can't, I can't take it back now. I know who we were. You know, they didn't give a shit.

They didn't give a shit. So I posted on my Instagram story too. So then you're like, we need to go. And then immediately I'm like, Grace and I, where are we gonna stay? So we, I'm like, Hannah, I hate confrontation. Yeah, I'm like, I need to stand up for myself and be like, we can't sit at our hotel rooms. We're in the elevator, being true New Yorkers. We're like, what are you gonna say? What am I gonna say?

Let's really give it to this guy. Like, he needs to like, give us free room. We need to make sure we get a room, because right now I don't have a bed. So we get downstairs and he's like, okay, I got a room for you guys and I go how many beds is it? And he's like one. And I was like, ooh, so we both canceled.

I didn't say Sheridan, because I didn't want him to judge me. But I was like, you can't afford to be here. I felt like you could get that at Serious. Yeah. So I was like, hello, I just was looking if I could have a room. And he was like, we fucked up. The nicest guy.

Dallas is so nice. They go, we fucked up. We're so sorry. It was our mistake. We'll get you guys a room. I mean, still we mean you still had to sleep together. Grace ended up getting. Yeah, somehow our new employee ended up getting a great room all by herself. But that's just the kind of bosses we are. We're also afraid of getting sued. So because we don't know how suing works. That would be so much admin. I'd be like honestly, just take the company. So then we get there and then we realize like, oh my god, where's our food? And they were like, oh, we'll send it to the right room. And I will later, I'm fighting for my life, my blood sugar's low,

you're having conversation with a makeup artist. It's sounding like, wow, wow, wow, wow. You know, and you're just, so I had a grace call and they were like, oh, it's just, it's waiting for you at the other room. And we're like, we cannot afford that room. We were kicked out of that room. Here's the other thing, imagine if we were a bridal party and random food showed up,

they would have been gone in two seconds that food. How those people didn't eat all our food is amazing. Also, I'm pretty sure I left a tampon in the bathroom. I took one of the Coca-Cola, so they were down a Coca-Cola in their fridge. And that I do apologize for. But my thing is, did she, she thought you were a bride? They thought it was a bride. Which is so funny because you give zero vibes. You give

more like serial killer energy. Yeah. Then what happened? Well you posted you were like a little mistake we got kicked out. I did. I had to I had to show the gigalers just like the actual journey we were on because that really would only happen to us. The universe being like, you're doing so well, you're doing so well, keep going. Eh, actually. We need to be humbled.

We needed to be humbled. We needed a couple of ego deaths this trip and that was important. We had the shows have been way too much fun. That like in between the shows, we needed to be tortured. We started out the tour without our Gen Z correspondent Grace and we were like chickens with her heads chopped off. Yeah, where was that Nashville? Which Nashville was crazy.

Here's a thing about friendship also. Like I don't think, I don't think people are real friends if they're like, oh my god I just like I love you so much and I like support everything you do and You're my sister. That's not real friendship is What Hannah does to me and that's putting me in situations that she knows I'm going to hate because she wants to laugh and I couldn't be more grateful for it because every day she would try and do something that she knew would make me either uncomfortable

or pissed off and just see what happened. Look, I like to push you out of your comfort zone because I see greatness for you. So basically I was like, I have to bring her to Broadway, which is the strip on Nashville where like, it all the side music it's crazy. Do I know that she's gonna hate it? Yes. Do I think it's something she needs to experience? Absolutely. If I tell her she's gonna hate it, well she come no. So I'm like page you have to see the strip places and then she was like how do we get there?

I'm like we can walk it's easy. 20 minutes into the walk. She's like what the fuck is going on and I'm like, we can walk, it's easy. Yeah. 20 minutes into the walk, she's like, what the fuck is going on? And I'm like, look, I was not gonna Uber. I knew something was a rye when we were leaving the hotel and the people at the hotel were like, you can't walk to Broadway. And Hannah was like, no, no, no, we're from New York. We can literally walk anywhere. And they were like, okay, but it's gonna be sweaty. So we get there and it's all these live bands and pages like,

what are they, why are they singing? And I was like, music. It's like, don't they hear the other piece per, I just had a stroke? Don't they hear the other people singing and then don't they get tripped up? Like how? Country, American Idol,

and everyone's singing at the same time. Yeah, it's chaotic energy. We immediately couldn't handle it, and we ended up going to a Margaritaville in order to choose Berger. Because it was, and we walked in and the age was you had to be over 60 to be in there and we were like perfect.

Yes, people. Yes, people. Are our people? What's it called? You could hear a pin drop in that place. We loved it. What's the sale? drop in that place. We loved it. What's the sale? The early bird special.

We wanted the early bird special. I wanted to get barbecue, but it gives me the meat sweats. I'm just like saying meat sweats. I'm not a huge. I don't like die for barbecue. I die for like, I die. It's funny because Bella Hadid has never said these words before, but I would die for barbecue. I die for like, I die. It's funny because Bella Hadid has never said these words before,

but I would die for like grits and pulled pork and mashed potatoes and sweet tea. Interesting. Like I like a pulled pork sandwich, but I only like the kind that my mom makes. So do I like pulled pork? Cause she'll give me anything in all of this. I do just love your mother. Yeah she'll give me anything and I'll love that.

I do just love your mother. Yeah. Which is another reason why I think we'd never join a cult, because you know how they always say like the second step or whatever step is they cut you off from your family. The second they're like, you can't call your mom, you'd be like, absolutely fucking mom.

Let me call my mom. I just call her that right now, because she's going to, she'll be over here in two minutes. Maybe like, wait, I can, like, hold on, let me call my mom. I just help her that right now because she's gonna, she'll be over here in two minutes. Maybe like, wait, I can't talk to my family. Can I ask my mom if it's okay if I can't talk to my family and she'd be like, absolutely not. Or like, how am I supposed to decide what I'm going to eat during the day if I can take my birth control seven times and if that counts? Also, I think our moms have like, really tainted us because if anything happens that like

is not supposed to happen, my immediate first thought is, I'm gonna call my mom, she'll know it. Like I'm gonna call my mom right now and then you're really gonna be injured. I'm really like, our mom is the cult leader. Okay. Gary, shut the fuck up, Gary. Kim knows what's going on and Kim will handle this. Our mom's coming in, oh my god, our moms would be the moms that are like saving us from

the cults. My mom saved me in, oh my God, our moms would be the moms that are saving us from the colds. My mom saved me from multiple colds. One time I was in high school and there was like, I don't know what it was. It was like a, not a bomb threat, but there was like something, and it was just chatter amongst a bunch of 14 year olds, but I got so scared and I texted my mom

and I was like, something's happening at school today and I don't know what it is but like it could potentially be scary. That woman was there in 10 minutes when into the principal's office and was like my daughter feels unsafe. I'm taking her home. And I was just like I remember walking out of school being like my mom is the president. It's not the principal now bitch. When I got hit by a car in Wisconsin during college,

my mom was there before the car hit me. I was like, hey, I think I hit by a car. I'm just gonna stop the car. I don't know how she got there in time. No, these bitches, it's like, we were talking about adrenaline. Yeah. Mama adrenaline's real.

Yeah. You know the moms that like live cars because like their babies under a car, I don't know how the baby got under the car, but they do it That's how I try to motivate you all week when we were on our tour Okay, then fucking Hannah made me Made we were in Austin and our hotel was close to the venue I would have taken a car Hannah made me walk from our hotel to the venue. My shoes were not walking shoes.

I didn't know you were wearing shoes that were literal just like sticks. My shoes were not walking shoes. I was profusely sweating. What kind of shoes are they then? They're car to table shoes. They're no walking. It's car to table. When you have a shoe on that hurts,

you can only walk to the car, take a break. Then walk to the dinner table, you're sitting, take a break. And that's it. I love you right now, because you're so funny, because you're so tired, and you have no time for anyone to shit right now, and I'm obsessed with it. No, I wish someone would try and fight me right now.

Like, no matter what it was, I would know I would win. We walked to the show in Nashville, and you had to take a couple breaks, and I was like, bitch, I can't call an Uber when it's a 90 second walk, and you were like, yes, you can, and I'm like, you know I can. So anyway, so before the Austin show,

I'm not kidding, I legitimately didn't know if I was gonna be able to go out on stage. I started having a full panic attack out of nowhere. I was making them get... I sound so dramatic. I was making them get ice packs out of the freezer. I was putting them on all my pressure points. I had to do...

I looked up how Navy seals... How do Navy seals not get anxiety? They box breathed. I started box I love what she's like what's the most common situation that I'm in right now that's so relatable a Navy seal Perfect to go out and tell But it was so this is a thing I feel like when we went to Austin It was like a comedy festival so there were like like agents there, your agents with their minds. So there, Jamel and Seagler casually came in and say hi.

Run Stevens. Run Stevens came to say hi. You, what's hard about panic attacks is people can't tell that you're having a panic attack. Yeah, so they think of me. So everyone's like, is she just really shy right now? And I'm like, no, she's like, combusting on the inside. I was fighting for my life.

I'm fighting for my literal life. When I have a panic attack to, I don't know if anyone has ever, I can't wait to see if any of the gigglers have ever had this because I've tried looking it up online and I've asked my other friends who have anxiety. That's the cult we're in. But I get, I know I'm starting to have one

because I get this pain that starts at the back of my neck and it goes all the way up to my head and then my head will start shaking like ever so slightly. Like a bobble head? Yeah, and you won't be able to see my head shaking and it's not like it goes back and forth but it'll start like almost vibrating and it's happened to me two other times in my life.

I hate doing the podcast and looking at you. It makes me so happy. I know, I don't know where to look though. and it's happened to me two other times in my life. I hate doing the podcast and looking at you. It makes me so happy. I know, I don't know where to look though. Look away! Sorry. That my eye hunts eye with me. But then Hannah was like, you're gonna be fine.

You're gonna get mom adrenaline right when you go out on stage. And literally right when I stepped out on the stage and the gigglers were screaming and I was like, I'm fine Honestly I feel like when you're sick you should just be like let's do a performance. Next time I have a panic attack I'm signing up for only fans. That's it. Let's cut this baby. You're cracking me up so much right now. I mean we've had so much fun together. We've spent so many days together and like we still aren't annoyed together. We did two shows in Dallas and then going back in me and Hannah had a little sleepover and we watched like a murder. What did we watch? We were watching

about Elizabeth Holmes. It was actually fun to like watch dope documentaries with you there, but then you were so funny you go we would be such good roommates and I paused And I was like bitch. I slept in with you We're three straight summers and that's why we became best friends because we're such good roommates I literally like forgot it's like a different time and that seems like a different light I don't know those people I don't know and with you and immediately I was like I was like, hey Craig. Craig just arrived in LA. Craig came for 24 hours. She didn't even tell me you were coming.

She keeps us away from each other. Yeah, well look. I live two separate lives and I don't want you to get in together. Craig gets a hotel they all look Also Craig thanks for complimenting my eye shadow We'll call you we'll call you. We'll call you. We'll talk to your people. Yeah, we'll call you Well poor guy. He just immediately got kicked out

You as well Okay, great. Thank you. Thank you He's actually like our boyfriend at this point. Okay, great, thank you. Thank you. He's actually like our boyfriend at this point. Okay, Raquel. We're actually like in a drama. He thought I was fucking with him when I complimented him for complimenting me. He thought it was a trap.

Yeah, he did. He's so scared of Gagley Squad. I think he's scared of me. But I'm like the lead. I'm less scary than you. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure.

But I think like because my love language, but yours is too, what does? Because my love language is like, if I really like you, I'm gonna be mean to you because I know you can take it. That is not his love language. So he legit thinks I'm being mean. Oh, I know. So it's so sad.

But I'm toughening him up. And I mean, before we were really interrupted Craig making it about himself again classic What are we saying? Yeah, what were we saying? Oh Braindead. Oh, we were saying oh How you forgot that you ruined with me for three years? But then I knew I know you page this which falls asleep She scrolls her take-talk and I knew once like I you, Paige. This bitch falls asleep. She scrubs her TikTok and I knew once I shut the light,

you were gonna be out. You turned the light off? Yeah, I did a whole, I manipulated you into falling asleep last night. Thank God. Yeah, I'm the one, it takes me forever to fall asleep. Like I have, I was like in the bathroom. The thing about sharing a room with someone is,

I immediately get that anxiety of like, what if they fall asleep so quick and I can't fall asleep for the whole night? And then I'm up and like, I'll feel awkward turning the TV on or being on my phone, but I feel like you did hypnotize me. No, for sure, because I put on some really boring documentary.

Yeah. I asked you some questions and you hate that. And then you were like, you might just close my eyes. And then you were asleep and then I watched, we were watching Kevin Hart and Nick Cannon's prank show. Yes, that's what we were watching. I actually had the best night sleep last night

that I've had on the whole tour. We were supposed to wake up and record this morning. My alarm goes off, hers doesn't. I can't wake people up. I think sleep is so important. No, my alarm went off at 9.30. You didn't wake up, and I was like, hmm, I'm gonna fall asleep.

Then yours went off at 10. I didn't wake up, and then we both laid there till like 10, I was awake though, but I didn't open my eyes because I was like, maybe she won't want to get up if I don't get up. So I'm gonna be like manipulated you this morning also. And then we both were like, should we just actually work by green makes them like, is she asleep?

And then eventually I was like, fuck, I'm gonna make a sleep. And then we just slept and then we got up and went to the airport. We're in a library doing two podcasts here with doing stiff socks, which is two men. And we've never, have we ever even pod I'm not even spoken to two men at once Me with men before I mean out and about is different doesn't count at all doesn't count So yeah, so that's gonna be it's gonna be very interesting the vibe. They're like the male giggly squad

Yeah, I first saw their podcast because Trevor's videos would always come up on my four you page You're him videos forever. But you ever feel like once you start following someone on TikTok, then you never see their videos ever again. Dude, that's crazy. Because then you have to go into the friends section and who goes into the friends section on TikTok. No, it's interesting because TikTok decides like who you fuck with each week. This is your best friend for the week. Yeah, this is your vibe for the week.

And you see them and I guess they see how you interact and then they're like, okay, well, she needs a new friend. I mean, we are so fully controlled by the dopamine of TikTok. It's crazy. I do love being on tour. It is such a weird adrenaline. Well, your normal life stops and then you're just on tour. Yeah, I have no idea what's happening

in the outside world for the past five days. I haven't checked any email. Like, we go on Instagram just to rewatch our stories and rewatch our TikToks. And for people to know what we do, we get into a city two o'clock. We have the same schedule every single time. Yeah, it got forbidden, it was different.

We would never make up with the show. Because every city we go to, people are like, you gotta go here, you gotta go there, you gotta do this and we're like, hey, we're sleep is sleeping girls. We get in, two o'clock page, try to get your makeup done first, she tells her, I want the glowy look, I want to go.

You know if I look, if I'm ever in a coma and I need my makeup done, you'll know. Girl, I got you. That is something, if I'm ever in a coma and I need my makeup done, you'll know. That is something. If I'm in a coma, I do want my makeup done every so often. I'm pointing at it. Yeah, and when if we do an open casket, I got you. I'm gonna be like, that is way too heavy. She wanna light, lowly.

I'm in the casket. You're like, she looks dead. Please give her some illumination. Do we have rare beauty on hand? She needs a highlight on her clavicle. She would die if she saw this So and I will watch people do your makeup and be like no, she's not gonna But I'm not saying anything. Oh many times have we gotten our makeup done together? And in your head, you're like, when this bitch leaves, Paige is going to lose it. It's going to allow you to make up now.

Hannah and I, getting our makeup done is exactly like everyone being... Getting their nails done. We'll never say anything. No, they'll show me something. And the fake eyelash will be like, stab at my eyes bleeding, and I'll be like, how did you do that? That's amazing. You're so talented. So good. Hannah got her makeup done once, once, one of the tour dates and by the time we got to the show she had no makeup on. Like literally all run off. She sweated it all up and we're dying

laughing because I just look like I would have been crying for three hours. I like to get creative when I get my makeup done. Yeah. Again, I almost blew it for the story. I know it's high risk, high reward. Yeah. Actually, not really a reward. It's really just bad things can happen.

But I look at their page, I pick something like funky. They did that I don't think I could do. Yeah. And I see if I could do it. Little do I know, I don't know if I really have a face for like... Make up. You know some people are just like a blank canvas. Yes.

I feel like some people have like the best eye shape, like a good lid. Some people have great people. You think I've got a good lid. No, I don't think you ever wear a lid. You're jealous. You're jealous. Your jealous. Because yesterday the lady said that I had a great eye shape.

And she said, and then she said nothing about you. And then I told her, ooh, that's a little sensitive subject. And Paige has been attacked for her eye shape before. And the girl paused for like a little too long. And looked at me and goes, you have a... Oh, what they say about your eye shape. And Hannah goes,

oh yeah, what was that bone? And I go, you know my orbital bones. Stop acting like you don't know her. Okay. And then I'll fit in the room, the orbital in the room. And the mega-bartist was like, oh, I don't think your orbital bone is off at all.

And Hannah just started dying laughing. Then, okay, we did one show and sometimes, like, here's the thing, I feel like I can attack a lot in different situations that's so unwarranted and so random. Well, I think people, like, your looks are your thing. Like, so people will comment on it because they wanna talk about it, but, like,

it can go so bad. This one girl in the meet and greet comes to me and she goes, oh my god you're so much smaller in real life like you're so skinny you're so tiny. She said you're so petite real life. I can't go. Pige is fat on TV. I know guys, I'm so funny about this is mu pissed off all of Oklahoma. Oh my god. Okay, apparently one thing. Apparently. On one of our podcasts, Hannah brought up Oklahoma City and I said, oh, I didn't know

Oklahoma had a city. I didn't know that Oklahoma is three hours away. Everyone from Oklahoma drove to Dallas. And every single person that was from Oklahoma that came to Dallas had one woman came up to me and said, Oklahoma has air conditioning. And I said, sounds like something someone would say, who doesn't have air conditioning? But I was like, did I ever say

Oklahoma didn't have air conditioning? I don't know why she told me that. They don't realize that we don't remember what's coming out of our house. Like I say things for the joke, not because I actually believe Oklahoma does not have a city, but like, I've never been there, so do that, you know. Define city.

Define city, Oklahoma. But I'm going to Oklahoma city for city. Yeah, so come to my heart. I have to get to know. I'm supportive of Oklahoma. On like page, I believe that Oklahoma has a city, and I will see you there. And I love all the people in Oklahoma

I'm like, please literally boxed me out from all the Oklahoma people and you're like yeah Like she literally doesn't know I had to protect you. I literally they like came with like pitchforks So Oklahoma them fucking a No, but I also was like wait why are you guys in Texas? And they were like, we drove three hours and that was really fucking awesome. I was so sweet, you had that. Oh, we didn't tell them the private jet story. Oh my God, okay.

Here's the thing, if you know anything about me in Hannah, Hannah can be a cheap bitch. She, we will be walking out of an airport or something, she'll say, I'll get the Uber. And I say, absolutely fucking not. Will you be putting me in a Prius with my 700 bags and have me cramped in there? So.

Spoken from an in person, the tiniest person you've ever seen, L-I-T-V, but in person, they're just so little. And she needs an Excel everywhere we go. Well, I like to be an uncomfortable SUV with airblasting and ripped off when it's the same amount of time to get somewhere, but just because the car is a little bigger, it's $50 more. Let me waste my money the way I want to waste it. I'm a literal NBA player. So we bring this guy up on stage for in our segment is he trash?

Hathi, Hathi, H-A-D-I, HADI, but we didn't want to call him that. So we just referred to him as Habiscus. And I was really craving a la Croix at the moment, so I think that's what. And the best part was his girlfriend's name is Maddie, shout out to Maddie, so it's Haddie and Maddie, and we just were like vibing with them. And we asked Haddie what he did for a living,

and he was like, I do private jet aviation. When he said that, it was like some crazy demon toke over Hannah's body. She was like, what do you mean? Private jets, how much are they? Like on stage, she's negotiating with this guy, okay? And he says like, oh, it's like $3,000 to $5,000. And we had to fly from Austin to Dallas that next day.

So we were gonna drive through. No, we were in Houston. We're being Houston and then we had to go to Austin to Dallas that next day. So we were gonna drive through. No, we were in Houston. We're being Houston and then we had to go to Austin. Houston to Austin. It was like the three hour drive. Yeah. Or a 30 minute flight. A 30 minute flight.

So Hannah literally made me take this man's card, text him, ask him what it is. I know that deep down you've always, you love private jets. I love private jets. And I was like, what if I like make, because I know that I'm tor- within you love private jets. I love private and I was like What if I like make because I know that I'm tor- within torturing I also like to like don't twist this on that you were doing something good for me What he basically did he was like guys I could get you a deal on a private jet Yeah, and I was like the gigglers will lose their shit if we took a private jet

They take talks. We would do'm gonna do on a private jet So I said page you deal with that because you know how to deal with money and Then it ended up being more it ended up being a lot more than we expected and I was like I said to the guy was like look we probably aren't gonna waste that much money on a 30 minute flight Like it's not that big of a deal like we can just drive I call Hannah I tell her what's going on, and she goes, um, fuck it, we're doing it. Like let's do shh. Look after the show, you get a little bit high.

I was like, you, after you performed, you brought me here in a Prius. Now you wanna take a private jet out of here? Also a Prius is a very nice car. It, first of all, if the Prius community comes for me right now, I'll put you in the same pose Oklahoma City. I just support the air.

So you're carbon emission. Is that a huge gas guzzling SUV over a light beautiful Prius that is saving the animals. I don't use straws. Okay turtles. So anyway, I basically, I don't know what happened, but once I decided like I was going to take this private jet, I was like, fuck it, I am private don't know what happened but once I decided like I was gonna take this private jet I was like fuck it. I am private jet girl. I take private jets now I was on a weird high like you get dope and mean like Justin Bieber after his shows like I thought that I ran the world Wait, that's why I got humble from the universe. I was getting too high So anyway, I was like I'm down if you're down

I'm down if you're down and you're like I'm not down like I'm not gonna do all these shows to ultimately make money and then No, I'm gonna down. Like, I'm not going to do all these shows to ultimately make money and then let me give it back to her business. I'm going to give it back to her business. Especially her business who doesn't deserve. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it.

I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it.

I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just prefer it. I just it actually was really fun. It's like road trippy. Yeah. We did also have another, we bring guys on stage to see if they're trash. It's become like so fucking fun. But we had one guy whose name was...

Seven. Seven. Wild. I thought that was like a made up. I thought I was like, see, listen to Gagel Squad and he knew a year ago you set an episode that Craig wanted to name his child. Is it his daughter or son?

He doesn't, Craig doesn't care. I said, you can name the dog that. Anyway, the guy's name was seven and it went downhill after that. Yeah. But we did have great guys. Great guys for our audiences. I was scared for a good nine seconds.

We lost control of the crowd in Dallas. Wait, the Dallas crowd almost. It was 1600 people. Stormed the stage. We were the capital and they were storming us. The craziest part was I didn't know what they were so mad about because it was something about sports. So I've been to Texas before.

Their religion is football. Yeah. We bring a guy up. We ask him like like did he play any sports? He says football and then he says I'm an Aggie Now that could mean I thought he was shortening aggravated like being so jenzy and he's like I'm Aggie right now Now I'm aggy pages no idea what that means. I actually did not even know either. The whole place starts building the loudest boo I've ever heard. Like I thought that he, I mean I don't know what would deserve that kind of thing. And then like you think it would end and it just like kept going. You looked at me. I looked at you. I said I haven't lost control of a crowd like this since I was on Summer House.

And then it finishes and they just keep yelling and then I realized oh my god okay he's he's a college team okay yeah so it wasn't even like their professional team so Texas A&M's the Aggies and they're this is Saturday morning pop Warner and they're losing their minds so then pages like, is everyone done? It's automatic. You know. They were being so dramatic. So dramatic. And we were scared. And then whenever we even brought up football, it was scary. They lost their minds.

But it was funny. We had a great, I mean, we had the best time in the past couple of days. Do you want to talk about our faith-based podcast? Oh, yeah. Guys, for those of you who didn't come to our live shows or planning on coming to one of our live shows, we really highly suggest you do because so many inside jokes end up happening and forming within our live shows.

And we were in Nashville and we were talking to our photographer and we were just talking about therapy because that's what girls do. And she said that it's really hard to find a therapist in the South sometimes because most of them are faith-based. And when Hannah and I heard the term faith-based, we could not stop. Lost our minds. For the next four days, we would refer to everything

as faith-based. We go in the Uber, there was like a cross and I was like this is the faith-based Uber. And then I would make a joke about like my labia on stage and I'll be like I'm sorry, that was not faith-based. And then guys would go on stage and we'd be like how long have you been with your girlfriend and they'd be like three years we're living together and I was like are you having premarital sex because that is not faith-based. And it never got old to us. Never had the cross. We still have it too. And this is a faith-bites. And it never got old to us. Never had the crowd with love it too.

And this is a faith-based podcast. This is a faith-based community that we've built. And what faith is a loaded term? It's just believing. I believe. I believe. I believe. Also. In Giggly Squad we trust. Thank you. The funniest thing too is like I don't even know what kind of religions they are, but

it is faithful in Texas. And they were saying like, they lived together primarily, but I was like, do you guys just have anal because you can't have like real sex? And everyone laughs, so I think that means yes. It is funny, like how that is a thing for some people who are super religious. Like you want to stay a virgin. But you're just, show a dick in your butt.

Bucking up. That's why I feel like super, super religious people are the freaky. But like how dumb do you think God is that he only gets a notification on his phone if it goes in your pussy. And if it's in your butt, it like slides slides through the cracks like his interns will not see it again I told you about this I think some people pray it like you know when you pull and pray like oh please don't god is not take god is taking important like There's work over there's me. Yeah, that's like he's outsourcing that to like a company

There have been times in my life where I've like prayed and then I will think like actually God has so many other things to do me finding my jewel is not one of them. He's something bad happening on TV and I'm like oh no it's because God was busy trying to find my jewel. No he literally has like a kid right out of college being like I'll deal with this jewel shit again. Where's St. Anthony? St. Anthony's always busy. St. Anthony's not taking this. St. Anthony has been trying to find jewels for three years now. St. Anthony's?

What's up? If you guys aren't Catholic and grew up with crazy Italian Catholic moms, there's a prayer. St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around. Something has lost that must be found. I'm not kidding, it works. It always fucking time. When I first started dating Craig,

I would randomly be doing it and he'd be like, what the fuck are you saying? And I'm like, oh, it's a prayer for finding things. And he's like, you're crazy, Hocus Pocus stuff. He started doing it. It astonishes him every fucking time. No, San Anthony's like on his shit because he's less busy than God. God has so many things going on. The admin alone. Speaking of crazy men, Drake Bell has been found. They were saying he was endangered. They were treating him like he was a tiger in Asia. Yeah. They said he was endangered in Florida,

which everyone's endangered in Florida. So we were confused. And then his wife filed for divorce. And then he said he found out on TMZ. When his wife reported him missing, it was giving like crazy girlfriend, which I responded to three texts. I identify with psycho crazy girlfriends because I am one and I just love to see how certain ones move and like what are their tactics because you can learn something from everyone.

Filing a missing person's report when he is gone for like six minutes when he said it's going down good, down good, down. I think it's taking too long. Is a pro move. Fun. Yeah. Like, imagine the thought process she had to go through of like, should I do it? Should I not?

Fuck it. 911? Yeah. I not? Fuck it. 911? Yeah. I think I'm worried. I think something's wrong. Oh, he said he was going to talk to him. I'm going to talk to him. It's been like 30 minutes and Duncan is only five minutes away

in a car. He's fucking someone else for sure. Do you think he was fucking someone else? Or do you think he just was like, I don't know, but it seems like something Shakira would do. Check 911, the jam. I don't eat jam. Thought that Josh would be the one thriving.

Yeah, I give, um, I give Josh a lot of credit because I couldn't imagine what it's like to like be a childhood star your whole life, not live like a normal childhood, and then continue that profession into your adult life. Like the trauma. Drake Bell is the Justin Bieber of Disney. Drake Bell is Nickelodeon. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Oh my god.

Do you think the Nickelodeon kids and the Disney kids had beef? Because that's a beef I would want to know about. That's a reality TV show I'd want to watch. I would watch their skully Instagram, and be like, hmm, interesting. So, and so, I got another show on that. Like, they put- Oh, they slimed her. They picked her to slime.

That's crazy. They do, like, real-world road-world challenges with Disney versus Nickelodeon kids, and they're all just like meth the fuck out. We'll see, Kristi comes with their parents yelling at them. That's so fucked up. But Kristi Carlson Romano has a podcast raising awareness about the abuse in children actors.

She is exactly, you know what they say? Never meet your heroes, not her. She is exactly what I wanted her to be from like growing up watching her, the nicest. Also, can we talk about Jamie Lynn Sigler being just like the prettiest person on the planet? Oh, literally. She walks into a room, you know?

And you like, you don't know people and they walk into a room and everyone immediately looks at them. She's growing. Like, there's an energy. She just has like this energy where you're like, I, I just like want to impress her so much. Yeah, like I just like I wanna be your friend.

Like I, she just sat there and I literally was like, Jamie noticed me. The most normal. I was probably the person I was most nervous about. You know what's crazy? I've never watched the sopranos, but it's just an energy she goes. She's a literal icon in our community.

Oh, for sure. For the Italian girl, hmm. Final piece of front page news that we've been talking about is a toddler broken to the White House and Secret Service had to tackle him. And the way they were holding this. Was as if this five year old had a fucking gun

It was a threat taking down the White House. He can count to five He has he literally had his phone number taped to him because he was in kindergarten He doesn't know his ABCs. He's not a threat, but he stormed the Capitol He's he's slid in between the honestly on a sampling probably he's squeezed in between the games Literally when I saw this story, I was like I wonder if I could slide you I don't know I'm like that kid is gonna get so much respect in his kindergarten class like what'd you do this weekend? like Finger-painted I fucking broke into capital bitch

Finger painted I fucking broken the capital bitch That was that was really fun you guys we have to run to do stiff socks pod so And then we're still on tour in May we're going to Denver. I think we have a couple tickets left Phoenix San Diego our third show has a couple tickets left. We have Huntington. Huntington, a couple tickets. I feel like Huntington is going to be what? The Long Island girl. The Long Island girl. We have Minneapolis and then a couple

left for a Chicago show in September. We love you guys so fucking much. And it is a one year anniversary of my batch right episode if you want some nostalgia. Oh, that is not sweet. We should have done a one-year anniversary trip. We basically did, except just sans the whole Bachelorette. I know Salami wasn't bought.

We love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling, and we'll talk to you next week when we are not on the road, and we'll be back in the studio. Love you. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Love you!