Giggly Squad - Giggling about girl fights, divorces, and betrayal
Episode Date: July 18, 2023NEW YORK CITY LIVE SHOW TICKETS JUST WENT LIVE!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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I'm in the day just got away from me.
I was telling a story to my family and in the story I had to say So like, and suck my dick,
because it was pertinent to the story.
And my mom said,
you can't say that in front of your father.
And I looked at my dad and I was like,
but sometimes like, and he goes, I know, I got it.
Like, sometimes you're just that mad,
that like it warrants suck my fucking dick.
Whether I have one or not,
who am I to judge, who am I to assign a gender?
The girlies are even saying suck my clip now.
If they could find it.
No, like that would never.
It didn't turn into a saying because they don't know where the fuck it is.
They think it's a conspiracy theory. It's not actually real.
No.
Um, we're in a mood.
I was golfing today.
I came straight from the golf course and I hit a bed putt and I said,
Lord, have mercy.
And does was like, are you a preacher?
And I was like, I'm trying not to say fuck.
Like, I don't know what to say when I don't want.
Why are you trying not to say fuck?
We were like playing with one of his friends,
and I was like pretending I was like not disgusting
for like two holes, because I'm like, I'll hit it,
and I'll be like, bullshit, fuck, sack,
bullshit.
I've never been said before.
I said, Lord, have mercy. Uncle Jesse from the literally, I shit, fuck, sack ball. Yeah. Birds that I've never been said before. I said, Lord, I'm mercy.
Uncle Jesse from the literally
I'm a weird retired old man.
Do your parents swear?
Like does your mom swear?
Can she show swear in like a cute way?
Yeah.
Or should be mad.
But you could tell she'll say it
because she heard me say it.
And she'll like repeated how I would say it.
And it's really cute.
Like she'd be like, you're like, what the fuck?
And my dad doesn't, he's just New York.
So like, he doesn't have to curse.
He just, do your pants curse?
My mom doesn't really, like, she'll have to be really mad
and like telling a story or like legitimately yelling
at someone to swear.
My dad, yeah. I mean, Italians, like, they don at someone to swear. My dad, yeah.
I mean, Italians, like they don't have to swear.
They just give you a look and you're like, okay, I'm sorry.
But also swearing makes the story better.
Yeah, it's like instead of saying, um, you say fuck, it's like a good filler word.
But my Nana, Nana still got it, does not swear.
And she told me two things.
She goes, instead of saying the SHIT, could you say
sugar? Okay. And then she goes, and what's with all the the far talk? Why do you have to
talk about farting all the time on your part? That's a pooping. Oh, the put in the nail
page is talking to you. You got a page talking about Tyree and now poor page was never
we're never talked about that, but she's been hanging out with you and you're fucked.
Honestly, tell me Man is upset.
You literally curupjid me.
Also I have to make an apology.
Oh my god so much asking me.
Man, who are you apologizing to?
Like how do me?
Also, so you know I went on like a 15 minute rant about Onyx's in Game of Thrones.
How do you know I'm a dick?
It's not Onyx, it's Unic.
It's a Unic. Did you know what Unic was?
Like five minutes after you messaged.
And that's why I'm-
And that's a real word.
And that's why you're getting your dick chopped off.
I'm so-
And this is a real word though.
This is like not a Game of Thrones word.
This is like-
It's gonna take me like 10 minutes.
We don't-
Like you can-
We can-
Can you spell Unic?
I hate when you do this. So anyway, Unic is a guy and I think it actually just chop the balls off you and I
See you are almost EU and I see
There's no way and there was a better chance
Like a silent E
Fuck off. I do think yeah, I got it all wrong too. They just cut the balls off, so they're just
running around with a little floppy dicks.
Okay, interesting.
But like, like that,
so they can't reproduce, I guess.
But your dick and so get it hard?
Yeah.
Am I just the authority on like castrated bandna?
Yeah, you're the authority on all balls.
I love those voices.
I was shook when he said that.
I don't feel like it's not bad.
Literally, okay, cry about it.
No, they're having a panic attack
because they just don't have balls.
No girls have her gun down on a man
and be like, wait, where are the balls?
I feel like halfway into having sex in my life.
Like six years in, I've had the thought,
like should I be doing something with those? Cause I've never touched them in my life. Like six years in, I've had the thought, like, should I be doing something with those?
Because I've never touched them in my life.
You know, like I'm not thinking of the guy.
Because I was like, did you see his balls?
They weren't.
Yeah.
The right kind of turkey gizzard.
That's what does go with a turkey gizzard.
I don't even like to make direct eye contact with them.
I don't even like...
I...
I kind of... It's a thin line between like playing with them. And like, you don't know what to do with them. I don't even like... I... I kind of...
It's a thin line between like playing with them and like...
Like you don't know what to do with it and then you just end up being like this kind of silly.
They look like they have the TikTok filter on them.
Like they're...
You're born and they're just old.
Like it's just so weird.
Another thing I'm really upset about is the old person TikTok filter.
You know, we got played.
We?
Paige, you looked like an adorable muffin-making little grandma.
I looked evil.
I looked evil.
I looked evil.
You look older women in my family.
True.
When you said that you look like you cast spells on people,
both me and Desi Blavik, I showed him the video.
I thought this crack looks stunning. He's so annoying. Well, all the men look showed him the video. I think that's how Chris Craig looks stunning.
He's so annoying.
Well, all the men look like amazing with it.
Yeah, it's so fun.
You just looked like a sweet,
you look like a pie.
I actually thought we looked very similar.
Like I feel like-
I looked like a crib keeper.
I feel like as we get older,
we're gonna morph into just one person.
Just one melted candle.
Wait, Paige, no, no, don't do that.
You know that I'd be cocky if I looked good in it.
I didn't see one person who looked worse than me
with the old person.
I don't think that you looked that bad
and you know I'd tell you.
I thought that we looked equally as bad.
I think you have body to smurf, yeah.
I do.
I'm suing.
I'm suing China.
It wasn't good.
Because they gave me like a really bad bags under my eyes. They gave me dark circles. I, I'm suing China. I know, I'm suing China. It wasn't good. Because they gave me like a really bad bag is under my eyes.
They gave me dark circles.
I don't even have dark circles.
I know, I'm like discoloration.
And I just, I did think about,
I'm going to leave you a case.
I had two holes, Botox, though.
I actually like was embarrassed for a does to look
because,
saying my whole shiick was like,
this is how I date.
I go, look, I'm a fine wine.
I go better of age.
These bitches aren't going to have shiit on me, I'm a fine wine. I go better of age. These bitches aren't gonna have shit on me
when I'm in my 60s.
Look at my Nana.
And guys literally would be like,
wow, I'm investing in this long term.
Yeah.
Then people were saying that it was like realistic.
And dermatologists were going on.
No, that's when I had to.
So I started spiraling.
I posted like three videos and someone was like,
Hannah, you have to get off this.
I was like invested in it. I was like looking up like, okay, well, what doctors said that it was realistic.
And what are their facts behind that? I was eating piss.
You know, I did. I took a young photo of Dez and I put it on it. Oh my god. And it didn't look like him.
Okay. So did you hear that Ariana Grande?
She was at Wimbleden without her ring.
Chukced stunning.
Apparently they're getting a divorce.
And not that I'm happy about anyone ever getting a divorce,
but I just want to say, the whole new wave of like,
just kids getting married.
This is why kids don't get married.
If your brain is not going to be full of you.
You could have dated for those two years
rather than now having to get your lawyer involved.
Also, if you're going to do this,
you should have just married P. David's.
Right.
What have been the same outcome?
I feel like marriage because the wave of Kylie Jenner
and Haley getting married really early
and having babies really early.
It almost made it not as a commitment, I feel like.
I also feel like celebrity weddings are like they do it for the tension.
I mean, her wedding aesthetic was a vibe.
It was great.
I just think celebrities should never get legally married.
Like, just do all that stuff for like the promotion.
I also feel like if you're so famous, I don't know if, with the exception of our Lord and
Savior, Dolly Parton, you can't like marry a normie.
If you're that, if you're AA-A-List, I would classify Ariana Grande as like A-List.
For sure.
And they kept saying like, he can't travel with her
because he's working.
I'm like, babe.
You're staying home.
You're working.
What?
You have your like basic salary
and Ariana Grande can make that just like farting.
Right.
He was like a real estate.
I don't know.
He somehow was hidden for a long time.
I've only seen one photo of him and he looked like her brother.
Yeah.
He looks young.
Dalton. They look young.
Dalton.
It's giving Braxton.
It's giving Braxton.
It's giving Braxton in a different way.
Dalton, Captain of the Fencing team.
Okay.
Love to play chess.
We'll play anyone in chess at any time.
Dalton had a nanny for a little too long
that he still texts.
Yes, yes.
Oh my God, when something bad happens,
he Dalton texts his nanny from 15 years ago
and tells her what's going on.
And Dalton had like his parents got divorced
and like that's his whole personality.
His parents got divorced at a really young age.
He doesn't know that his mom was a stripper before because she does act like so
classy now.
Dalton parents pay for his apartment, but he doesn't tell anyone.
Yes. Dalton says that he got like a round of investors and he like went
out and he really like tried pitch to them,
but it was really just the guys
his dad plays golf with.
Dalton's been working on an app idea for six years.
Yeah.
And it's just a dating app.
Just a dating app, but like a different font.
I also feel like the only drug he's done is cocaine.
And he loves it.
And he loves it.
So I don't need to try anything else.
This is the buggin best.
You're like calm down, Dalton.
Maybe smoke a joint here and there.
Close your eye, blink once in a while, Dalton.
Do me a favor.
I just posted this clip on TikTok of,
I went to Oklahoma City and this mom,
I love Southern names.
So I'll be like, do you have kids?
And then I go, what are their names? The names were like,
Jett, Maverick, Austin Sawyer, Mason, Duke, Tucker.
I realize that all Southern men are named after Labradoodles.
Yes.
Or just like, Chester,
Why?
Literally, dog names.
At least like a, a contrast male.
Like a Maverick and Jet.
Parker, Buck, Ford, Grant, Rooks, Blake.
I kinda like Grant.
Grant?
Do they like, they sound like dogs or like really old presidents?
Yeah, or if you take two of them together
and you put a plus in between,
it becomes just like a farm to table restaurant
Don Sawyer
It's booked for a year you can't get in there you have to know the chef to get into dog's lawyer
Do you think Carter are you even a lot of the only really prestigious?
Very small private school and if their name has like a lien it,
you just know they're like related to someone in a civil war.
Yeah, who was like, not on the right side.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh my god.
But they're going to put it on.
Great, great, great, great, great.
And bother was a general, but like he had no, like, he didn't know.
He didn't know at the time.
He didn't know at the time.
He didn't know at the time.
Oh god.
OK. Also, this is stuff people are reaching out to me to ask you. I didn't know at the time. I didn't know at the time. You can. Oh God, okay. Oh God.
Also, this is stuff people are reaching out to me to ask you.
Okay.
You post or Craig posted a video where you guys are walking and then a guy from behind stops
him and goes, watch out.
There's a curb, protect page at all costs from this curb.
People thought it was your dad.
I know it's not your dad.
No, my dad.
Do you have a security guard?
This is my dad's friend.
Everyone was like, oh my god,
a big hearty guard to like,
I was like, what, where are the conspiracy theories?
That's my dad's best run from high school.
So, so adorable.
So adorable.
She walked you.
Like a hawk.
The way this, we were walking on the sidewalk
and there was like a dip down onto the street,
but like the street we were about to cross
isn't like a real street where there's like cars.
It's just like a paved road
that you're like gonna pull into a parking lot.
So it's not like I was actually gonna ever get hit by a car.
He just didn't want my heel to like fall
and he saw Craig was like filming
and wasn't paying attention.
But when he said that, he was just like, oh, grab her arm so that she doesn't fall.
And people came up with some of the craziest fan fiction.
It was, oh my God, Paige has a bodyguard.
Also that's her dad, Craig's stupid, that's always a conspiracy.
Wait, can I play it?
Yeah.
I'll tell you that.
I think that's coming from back.
What we did, so I hold her hand on her arm
because it's not working.
Yeah, it is.
Then people were like, was he not gonna hold your arm
across the street?
And I was like, I'm not a wounded puppy.
Like I know how to walk across the street.
I wish you Ariana Grande did it
and were like, carry me like a baby.
Literally.
He goes, hold her hand or even her arm.
Wait, is that like, he's a Zadi, is he single?
No, he's married, he has children.
My dad and him went to high school together,
and so they always talk about high school things,
but he hangs out with my dad.
So why did Craig post that?
I don't know.
Craig's like, you know, it's so funny,
if there's so many girls that will DM me Craig's Instagram videos
and she's like, and they're like,
I know you have theic right now and it's so nice
that you're not saying it to him
because I know you don't like this Instagram story.
And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry,
the one of my boyfriend in someone's basement
playing 2,000's rock lifting.
You think that turns me on?
Certainly not.
Like, no.
You go, he's muted.
Why would she sit really high?
I don't.
Bro, I don't ever watch Craig's Instagram stories
to the point where I'll be like,
do you see my video?
And I'm like, no.
I have shit to do.
Like, we already date.
I don't have to stalk you on Instagram.
I'm like, does this first answer story that comes up?
Yeah.
And then I was like, wait, what if I wasn't?
Yeah.
Like, does the algorithm think I'm his wife or not?
So interesting.
But the algorithm is crazy because they also know who your ex is, and they'll show you
that even more than the person you're with.
Whoever's that job is, I'd like.
You know, like there's someone at Instagram
and it's like, well, obviously they used to fuck.
And it's like, let's show him to her now.
Like that girl seems to be in a good mood.
Let's ruin her fucking week.
Yeah.
With like the one thing she doesn't want to see,
but it's like,
And you would like this.
It's that in people who name nail polishes.
Yeah.
There's my two ideal dream jobs.
Oh my god.
I'm just saying,
You just got a promotion,
You're just smoking a blunt, being like,
Yeah, that's gonna be,
It's gonna be bloody rose.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, for the nail polish.
Like Jessica just got a promotion,
like let's show her that her ex-boyfriend also got engaged.
You know, like really fuck with her?
Yeah, I know it'll have like the memory stuff.
I don't need any of that shit.
I don't wanna know anything that I did,
but as of yesterday.
I did see something on TikTok
because I love watching people's like wedding videos,
like the ones that they get back from like their video
ographer where it looks like a movie premiere, like it's going to come out on Hulu
or something, like I like watching those and seeing like what songs they
pick and all the stuff. And I used to think, and now I like, I can't
remember what happened at your wedding. I used to think I wanted my husband
to see me walking down the aisle and cry. A immediate ik now I feel like I want him to start laughing.
Like I want him to be like this is so weird.
Like I can't believe we're doing it.
Let's laugh.
Yeah.
Now I feel like if he cries, I'm gonna be like,
I can see like crags listening right now and he's like, what does she want me to do?
Like every, it's what pick a side.
No, parents and guys.
You said your husband though, why would you say, whoever you're going to marry, why would
you say?
I don't think does, Craig.
I think he was smiling, tearing now.
Like he was nervous smiling.
Yeah, but I remember we were like holding hands and you have this
out of my experience where you know when you're looking you're like oh they're so connected.
Both of us are freaking out like we're like what's going on what's going on and you're
hoping everything goes right and you're just kind of like adrenaline. You're not really
processing any of it. I also was like kind of cold because we're on the beach and he
could be like are you cold? And I was like no no like what are we going to do as far as
jacket during the fucking ceremony? I was like no I'm cold? And I was like, no, like what are we gonna do? As for as jacket during the fucking ceremony? Yeah.
I was like, no, I probably should.
Yeah, I could tell you were cold.
That's pretty cool.
It's because you do a certain thing with your mouth
when you're cold.
Oh no, was I doing like a weird?
You just smile in a weird way when you're cold.
And that's so cool.
And that's like, I'm trying to push out a fart.
That's so niche.
And something that like I would never think to tell you
that I know about you, but like I know that about you I know
There's only a couple people that know like my laugh
When some of them not really laughing yeah, and like my nice
That talk when I don't actually want to be there people do that's us all the time
They're like wait, I thought you wanted to have that conversation. I'm like, oh, absolutely not. You should win an
Oscar. I'm not interested in that at all. No, you're laugh that you do when something's
not funny to someone else. I find hysterical. And then that makes me laugh. And then we legitimately
will start laughing. You don't know. Until you can detect like all the different kinds
of laughter. Yeah. I'm like, she doesn't think that's funny.
The laughter when he's not funny, but he's rich. Yeah. I perfected that laugh. I feel like.
So I've been on so many a dinner where I'm just like, oh my god, you're not funny at all.
Speaking of tech algorithms, doesn't I have this moment in bed where I was looking at my Instagram
and he was watching? Wait, can we just talk about that for a second?
Yeah. Why is it so relaxing watching someone else scroll?
Because it's like you don't have to decide anything and you could just take in what you want.
But also, I learned how life is so much about perspective where like he's like wow,
our algorithms are so different. So immediately I'm like show me yours.
Let's see.
And he kept having these like boating TikToks.
Like it was like men talking, which I was like wise.
Why is that happening?
And then boats and he's like, yeah,
there's all these weird like boating accidents.
And I'm like, and we kind of started watching them.
Then I go off to the bathroom, go to my TikTok and it's boats.
No, it's not right. So like my TikTok heard his TikTok.
Talking about boats.
Yeah.
And then I got on Shark TikTok,
from the boat TikTok,
that like, I was in the show progression.
Yeah.
So I'm kid, like jumped in the water at a cruise
and just got eaten by a shark.
So.
I mean, what the fuck? What's gonna happen? I know, but it was one of those things
where like you're young, they were mad
because the friends like dared him.
Oh, okay, that's actually a take that back.
Okay, that's awful.
Where in the world?
In the Bahamas, and they just graduated high school
and they were like, Steve, we dare you.
And he jumps in and everyone's pardoning their drunk
and they literally have footage, like seeing him,
like turn around, like he must have seen something coming
and the shark like coming and then he's gone forever.
Oh my God.
So also in the ocean in West Hampton,
a 47 year old man got bit, my mom texted me.
She's like, is everything okay at home?
She thought it was death.
Yeah, it does go swimming all the time.
Oh my god.
He's already got bit, a gay got bit in Fire Island.
Not the gay.
He's like, it's the gay thing.
We need that.
And then for the people, it's just a bite.
I'm like, it's not just a bite, it's a shark.
Ha, ha, ha.
Sounds like someone that's never been bit by a shark though.
You know, like whatever.
It's just a scratch.
I think Craig needs to go around and give people lessons
on how to fight sharks.
He said he should start a whole e-book on it.
Finally.
I'm just keep saying finally the whole time.
Did you hear about the Google Beach serial killer?
Yeah, what do you think?
I actually watched, like, people magazine already has like a fucking documentary on it.
You watched it already?
But it's like different, each episode is like a different girl that's gone missing,
that they're like trying to link to him.
So this guy was just like an architect on the Upper East Side in New York City.
I've watched this law in order.
Yeah.
Like, this is a legit law in order that they've made.
I imagine if he was working on your house right now,
you could probably get it for cheap.
You're probably like, go, can you just do this for half price?
No, I can't even.
Gilgo, also Gilgo, such a creepy name.
Gilgo Beach.
So yeah, we are now at a time where a serial killer was found.
Imagine living in that neighborhood. No, I'm being like, oh my God, I time where a serial killer was found. Imagine living in that neighborhood.
No, I mean.
And being like, oh my God, I lived by a serial killer.
Billy Baldwin, you know, Haley's uncle,
went to school with him in Long Island.
Interesting.
And Des, like, said he knows people who
like knew.
knew someone who knew him.
That kind of, it's been Long Island's a small place.
No, that's so crazy. And I was even thinking about serial killers
because I'm obsessed with how it happens.
They found his porn searches.
Did you see that?
No, and what are they?
It's bad.
Like some of it, the weird thing is some of it is normal.
He's like, three some.
Kind of, but then some, it's so fucked up.
Killing wise.
Okay, so he did normal normal shit, like mistress long island.
Yeah.
But then he did stuff for like younger girls.
And then he also searched like redhead stuff.
And it's weird because his daughter is a redhead.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wait, that's so fucking gross.
And then there was one without really was strange to me.
He searched blonde hair girl young depressed.
It's all my friends.
So it's some, wait, that's so weird.
Also, how do you get that from porn?
Yeah.
That's so weird.
Then he searched just mature escorts Manhattan.
But I've never come across a porn video.
I'm been like, I feel like they were depressed.
You know, I've never, I've definitely
during it, I've been like, I think this girl's depressed.
But they don't label it with depressed.
Right.
Remember it's like anxious girl.
Bloded girl. That's just our only fans.
Like anxious girl.
Just cut her pants double-team.
Like what?
That's just me on a Tuesday.
So anyway, thank God this guy has been found.
No, how crazy.
Also, how crazy that it's like when his wife would go out of town. Oh, yeah, I didn't even delve into, I don't know how crazy. I don't know how crazy, I don't know how crazy. I don't know how crazy, I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy, I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy, I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy, I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy, I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy.
I don't know how crazy. I don't know how crazy. I don't know how crazy. I don't know how crazy. I don't know how crazy. feeling that your boyfriend's like doing something fucked up. Like you got a gut feeling when they're cheating or you got a gut feeling like whatever.
Other landstanks.
I wonder if she ever had a gut feeling of like, I think he's killing people.
I feel like there's been ones where the wife kind of thought it and like called in kind of thing.
But you the thing is is you never you always lie to yourself Because you're like it can't be that bad
Right like if I had a gut feeling you'd be like you should there's no way you wouldn't go all the way to see your color
Yeah
But then there's also these guys who live these double lives where maybe he was this like yeah, and you know idea
vanilla guy yeah, and
I guess they started to like kind of get on to him because then he stopped for a while
But it really is like an addiction yeah a lot of them get caught because they need to do it more and more to get that same weird
High they like from it and then eventually they get caught, but he
Ooh, thank God that man is found on another note. Yeah our perms in people are getting perms
Is that on your TikTok? Yeah. People are getting perms.
Is that on your TikTok? Yeah.
People are getting perms.
I've never, I haven't seen it.
And I, to make their hair wavy, I guess.
Oh, God.
It's another way for us to spend money on.
No, I don't think I could ever do that.
Capitalism wins again.
People are also doing this thing called girl dinners.
Okay.
Girl dinners are basically where you you just take a bunch of snacks
that you love and put it on a plate.
That's just dinner.
Yeah.
And it's with like Girl Dinners.
Like you're like, oh, I want like pickles.
I do love the TikToks of the girls being like,
sweet potato and cottage cheese, carrot and cottage cheese.
Yeah, I do, like I go watch,
even though it's the same thing every time
I watch them full through.
Oh my God.
What?
Okay, talk about like on my TikTok algorithm.
I started seeing on my TikTok
all of these girls doing cast or oil heat packs.
Have you seen it?
No, but my back is killing.
It's not for your back.
It's basically, and I've been doing it for the past,
what day are we?
I would say, I've been doing it for a solid week.
I maybe skipped one night, I skipped one night,
so I've done it six days and a row.
You take castor oil, you rub it on your stomach,
and then with a cloth or something,
I bought something on Amazon that like,
tie like hooks in the back,
so I don't have to,
it doesn't like come off in the middle of the night.
But has to oil all of your stomach pregnant.
Oh, this is also like add to like you're not having sex that night because
you're literally like you've lubed yourself up and then wrapped yourself like a
fucking mommy.
You've tied yourself down.
And they like you.
You okay.
So then you put like the either like the cloth or whatever on your stomach,
and then you go to sleep.
Some girls like will put like a heating pack on
for like a couple hours, but I didn't do anything
with the heating pack because I didn't get it in time.
Are you trying to not have a baby,
like burn your ovaries?
No, and basically the castor oil
like goes into your stomach,
like seeps in through your skin and heals all of this shit.
Hannah, who's what? I have woken up every single morning, into your stomach, like seeps in through your skin and heals all of this shit.
Hannah, who's what?
I have woken up every single morning, not bloated,
and I even did my own experiment on it
because I am a girl that loves...
She's a chemist.
Basta, butter and parmesan cheese
at like 10, 30 pm is my sweet spot.
Like that's when I fucking crave it.
And every time I do that,
I wake up the next morning,
legitimately pregnant, like my stomach's so hard,
I'm so bloated, it like hurts,
I can't go to the bathroom.
And so I ate it,
and then I did the castor oil thing that night,
and I woke up the next morning.
She was a model.
She was a model.
This is my question,
because I do wake up like Bella Hadida every morning.
I am Bella.
How you do?
I am always Bella.
The second I smell cereal, or like the first thing
I'm gonna eat, I'm bloated all day.
I wasn't.
So throughout the day, while you eat,
you think you like process stuff better?
I took a bathing suit picture.
Like that's how good I was feeling.
Okay, so putting castor oil and heat for how long?
You don't have to do the heat thing.
I slept in it overnight,
but some girls are doing it for like two hours, three hours.
I'm just worried that they're like burning their ovaries.
I'm putting it,
I'm also pouring the castor oil right inside my belly button.
No, it can heal like cysts.
Do you think it like there's a hole
that goes through your belly button?
Exactly.
And it like drips into the right.
Okay, I mean, I'm not gonna knock your yum.
I did see someone who has really good skin
and I asked what she does
and she says Vaseline every night.
Interesting.
So I might start doing that.
These are all just ways to avoid our actual problems, you guys.
This is not solving anything.
My mom did make me go to Pilates
and no one talks about how it's actually BDSM.
They're like, why don't you leave against this film triangle and then try and live your leg in the air. No, have you seen the contraptions?
They're like, lock you in with your wrist and they're like, now try to escape.
I'm like, this is not the same for a while.
Yeah.
And then there's just chains everywhere.
Yeah.
And they're like, pull it with your foot
see if you can do it.
I was like a little turned on.
I was like, I'm being naughty.
Don't you feel like you're the hottest you've ever been though?
Like, once you get done with a Pilates class,
you're just like, I did Pilates.
My hips are so open, but I don't have to say
that the wrists and are the same.
I have to go to a chiropractor on Wednesday
because I did something in my lower back.
Oh my god, you're getting so old.
I feel, I literally feel like a retired old man.
Yeah, well you just, you started, you were late today
because you were school for a tea time brand.
Tea time brand.
No, no.
You know.
I'm also weirdly on plastic surgery, take that
because you know I like to keep an eye on things.
Just make sure the girl is like, don't like go too far.
It like knows that I'm interested, but they don't know why.
I feel like a spa.
They're like, does she want it?
Is she not?
Are we showing her horror stories?
I like for 10 that I wanted to be like,
I knew this was fucked up.
And I just like to know when I see people's faces,
what was done, there's this doctor called Dr. Roxy,
who got famous for being one of those doctors
who like dances and she would live being one of those doctors who like dances and like she would live.
One of those doctors who dances.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience. You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience. You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience.
You have like an audience. You have like an audience. You have like an audience. You have like an audience. You have like an audience. You have like an audience. I don't want him having doing TikToks. She was live streaming her surgeries.
No.
And some of these gone too far.
Some of these TikTok, they get really famous.
This woman is getting her medical license revoked,
not necessarily for doing anything on TikTok,
because she actually had three malpractices
that she completely fucked up people's bodies.
And girls are like speaking up,
one girl's like, I can't fix my boob ever,
like my boob looks like a banana,
and I'll never recover.
Someone has like a scar that will know,
like horrible things.
And then people are being kind of mean to them
and they're like,
well that's what you get for booking
like a plastic surgeon from TikTok.
But it's like,
cause people have followers,
you assume that means that they're legit.
But it just means like they went viral a couple times.
It's just like they can juggle with an implant
and people thought it was funny.
No, literally one girl, and they have a good personality.
One girl got her nose done by this guy
that was like known as the famous nose tic-tac-er,
and she literally was like my life's ruined.
And she had a good nose, but she tried to like,
he does this weird thing where he like adds on to make it like a ski slope. So it made it look so long like she was just sobbing. I have
to find her. I feel like getting your nose down would be so scary. You have to hate your nose
so much. Yeah. Yeah, to want to go in and do it because I feel like that is the main point of your
face. Like girls go in and like
Okay, you get your lips down like yeah, yeah, then like not that big of a deal
You're going in and getting your nose done. That is yeah, it's a center of your face. There must be so much
Some girls though like they their noses are fine
Mm-hmm, but they like see all this stuff on tiktok. Yeah, that they can make it like look some type of way also like
Something that looks good on other people
might not look good on me.
Yeah, I mean, well, even with the eyebrow filters and stuff,
some girls look so good with thin eyebrows
and then put it on me, I look ridiculous.
So you can't just look at someone
and be like, I want her nose,
because you actually might look worse.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Most likely, what?
Because I was buying so much makeup
and so much skincare from TikTok and then I was like, wait, I need to buy from girls who look like they have the same
like kind of skin as me. Yeah. Combination skin. Yeah. I've been really on a clinic kick.
My mom loves that. Really? What are you using from clinic? I love that they have these things
called chubby sticks. Yeah. And I love that. Are they for your lips? They're like contour and highlighter and blush and also
Can you spell clinic?
CLI
And
QUEE
You missed an eye
He missed an eye. Talk.
Talk.
Talk.
Honestly, that was really close.
Joe Jonas should himself during a concert.
So just, Joe, just asks to be on the podcast.
You don't have to do all of these things.
Just say you're a giggler.
Things in white pants, none the last.
Yeah, you saw it, right?
Yeah, you saw it, right?
So that's my biggest fear is shitting myself while on stage.
Yeah.
But I know that there's a thing that happens with adrenaline where it really sucks you in.
But I think if you're having a really, really bad episode
and can't imagine shitting yourself
in white pants on stage.
When he says shitting himself,
like what really happened?
He's being dramatic.
Yeah, I think he's probably being a little dramatic.
Like did people in the crowd say,
Joe Jonas just shit himself?
Yeah.
Like did he like run off?
Like what?
If I sharded, I'm staying on stage.
Yeah.
If I, also like I know, we know how to play.
Because you're a thong.
So you're good.
It's good.
You're good.
Yeah, literally like a hammock.
We're good.
Yeah.
But I know he wears tight pants, right?
Yeah.
That should not go in down here.
Imagine being at that concert though.
You're like, kind of smells.
Yeah.
So disgusting.
Okay.
It's so vile.
I've definitely fired on stage before and been like,
can everyone smell my fart?
And I hope they blame it on the people next to me.
Yeah, they're definitely not ever blaming it on you.
Because I'm not, yeah, like how can it be Hannah?
Yeah, I could, but like,
I'm not gonna stage him.
I'm not gonna stage him, but like, oh no.
And then I'm like, are they noticing?
And then I also, I'm not holding in a fart on stage.
Like I'm not like holding, like I'm not gonna be
uncomfortable on my own stage.
Like, right, but-
I'm not gonna, my fear would be that like...
You're also holding a microphone.
Like you could also...
It could go so opposite and you could be amplifying it to the whole room and then like
how do you recover from that?
You go right into like, you're like, oh that was just like a sound effect for my next
joke.
I have laughed really hard and been like, I farted LOL, but like, that's different
than like someone you making a sound
and then pretending you didn't make a sound.
The only place I feel 100% comfortable
to like actually fart in public
or like I can't control it is on an airplane.
Like no one can hear you.
So I've been on many like a morning flight where I'm just like hungover and I'm like,
I'll die right now.
My man is so mad right now.
Yeah, so mad.
Once I farted on the airplane and it does said he felt it vibrated on the scene.
I'm not.
So now I'm paranoid.
That's bad.
But it must have been like one of those like-
So you got to think everyone's got their headphones on. It must have been like a machine it. That's bad. But it must have been like one of those, like, you gotta think everyone's got their headphones on.
It must have been like a machine gun.
That's bad.
I think I was like kind of challenging
being like, how loud can I be and get away with it?
Greg would immediately block my number.
Like immediately block my number.
Greg and I are still texting about tennis.
Get a room.
Well he's like betting now.
I think he's trying to like get T from me.
He's a full sports gambler.
Yeah, he's trying to get a chance from you.
Wait, is that illegal like the stock market?
He can't bet when he's in South Carolina.
I was wondering why he kept fucking visiting me all the time.
It's because he literally can only sports bet when he's in New York
because it's like legal.
So like he can't place any bets when he's in...
I use that guy, I'm kinda like this,
and it was so annoying,
because they would bet on everything.
They'd be like, I bet that car's like gonna turn left
for $40, and I'm like, what are,
why can't we just enjoy life?
Why are we, what higher are we chasing?
No, men are always chasing a weird high.
Once he bets one thing,
then he goes on like a betting spree for like a couple weeks.
Is it cuz he has to like make his money back?
No, not even that.
He'll just be like, whole, like he started watching tennis.
He's like, well, I'll bet on this.
And now he's like obsessed with that.
Just ran and shit online.
Yeah.
Or does he have friends that do it with him?
I don't know what the men are doing.
They go on some app and they're just like plugging away.
Like they're changing everyone's lives and like betting $20 on a fucking
Tennis match that they can't even watch on regular
My favorite is stupid a guy comes back from a golf game. He's like on one three books today
I'm like how's that gonna help our family. Yeah, like we went to the Saratoga race track
Yeah, ask me how many times I got up to bet on a horse
Zero because like I'm there for the ambiance,
I'm there for the outfits, I'm there for the lunch.
I'm not there to lose.
I also don't, I don't have an adrenaline
like seeking personality.
So anything that people do that are like,
oh, this is like such good adrenaline,
I'm probably like not doing it.
I went to Coney Island last week against my will,
even though I love Coney Island, but against my will, even though I love Coney Island,
but against my will did a rollercoaster that was supposed to go over time. I'm here against my will.
Yeah, this is against my will. But anyway, I feel like next time you call me, I'm like, this is against my will,
but hello. It's what really does go into anything. It's like when the guy was like, I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't understand the psychology of roller coasters. You don't get the signs behind it. No, isn't like I go on and it feels so scary.
You just close your eyes and pray to any God.
And then when it ends, you go, thank God it's over.
And everyone's like, well, you don't feel better after.
I'm like, yeah, and I felt even better before.
Yeah, like don't you feel better that you did it and you can sit?
Don't you feel better?
Because it felt like shit during.
Of course, I'd feel better if I got sliced in the leg
and then they stopped slicing me in the leg.
People like, like, oh, you can feel accomplished though
that you, like, you did it.
Like, you overcame your fear.
Like, no, I don't give a shit.
There's a seven year old behind me
that did the same thing.
I'm not proud of myself.
No.
And that kid had fun.
I pissed myself.
Like, you know, when you were a little
and you would like climb up to like the top of like a water slide or something.
Yeah.
I was the kid that would like would get up there and be like, yeah, no.
And like I'm going back.
And ever like would be like, aren't you going to be in bear it?
I don't give a fuck what you think that I'm going back to.
I'm going back to my mom.
With enough just normal adrenaline about existing on this planet with my own anxiety.
I don't need to add on stupid rights.
And then they're always like,
you're someone died doing that one.
Do you want to do it?
And we have like, we have a,
we're a women in the art team, we're creative.
We have a creative imaginations.
Oh yeah.
My second brain isn't letting me jump out of a plane, okay?
Because my second brain would be like,
how, like, are we pulling the thing?
You're so right, that's the one peer pressure
that I wouldn't succumb to.
It's people being like, I dare you jump out of the plane.
I'd be like, no.
This is gonna be, it's gonna split a lot of people.
And I feel like I'm gonna have a lot of people DM me about it.
Save your DMs.
I don't need them.
Never in my fucking life would I go skydiving. And I feel like
people are always like, oh, those are the people that you go skydiving. No. Whoever said that.
I don't need to feel whatever emotion you're feeling on the way down. No. Like I don't, I don't want
to feel that feeling just sitting alone for too long by myself.
Yeah.
And then I start having dark thoughts.
I'm spiraling.
That's scarier than me with a strange going back.
I want to know something that gets me going,
Googling myself.
Okay.
I'm fucking jump out a window.
Do you know I haven't Googled myself in two years?
Wow, good for you.
Someone asked for a photo of me.
They needed something and they were like,
oh, just like Google a photo and I was like,
oh, I'm not allowed.
Yeah, that's good.
I say I'm not allowed, like,
as if there's like a boss somewhere that would fire me.
That's actually really good
because I'm convinced that there's someone at Google
that hates me.
Okay.
Because there's one specific picture
that I've tried for six years
to get a race from the internet.
I've had publicists try, I've message,
you can go on and edit your own thing and be like,
and I've done it.
Also, your birthday's wrong on it.
Someone at Google's fucking with me.
What I digress.
There are also getting images is where,
there's a photographer somewhere and occasionally,
they'll take a getting image and post it.
Yeah.
And then when someone writes an article on you,
they can pick any getty image.
And they always pick this one charity event
that I was against my will.
No, literally.
That I was like the worst angle.
I think I feel like you were to look for that.
That's the one you chose.
It's literally me, like I'm there for charity.
And it's like six years ago.
Six years ago, my eyebrows are still thin.
I'm like, there's seven different top,
like top get many images.
If you told me, this is gonna be a photo
that's gonna be used for ABC,
I would have turned my head.
I'm telling my head, gone out of my monster side,
done a little smile.
I would have gone home.
But like, I would have said no photos, please.
Yeah, it's just, but it's true.
They do fuck with you.
We're like, some articles, they choose photos
and you're like,
that's another job I'd like to have.
Yes.
Whoever is at the tabloids being like,
I don't fuck with her.
They end their in charge of picking the pictures.
Like that's a personal attack.
I actually look at certain like page six articles.
I look to see who wrote the article and then remember their name in my head
if there's a bad picture attached.
Or you know who's side there on.
Yeah, I'm just like, you're fucking with me.
Finally.
The edge of my head.
And finally.
The biggest news.
It's about friendship.
What is that?
Kylie.
Oh, what do you think?
I think it was overdue.
Yeah.
I hate to see friendships What do you think? I think it was overdue. Yeah.
I hate to see friendships and so badly like that.
And I feel like they didn't have a-
Why are you laughing, Chris?
Because I think I vaguely follow what's going on right now.
I love how they went out like a new couple alert.
Hard launch.
Hard launch.
I think it's because she's gonna be in this season
currently airing.
Oh, like they, they were like,
hey, fuck the beef, let's get some views on this.
Yeah, I think they're teasing,
like they've been friends for a while.
This is just the first time we're seeing them out.
Actually, you should tune into the Kardashians,
you'll see it.
That's my conspiracy theory.
I don't know how she feels.
There's, I just, I don't know.
What, I like blocks out what happened,
but it was basically like, she sat on his lap
and they kissed when he was with her.
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
And like, he, she told her and Chloe got mad at her
when really she should have gotten mad at Tristan.
But this was like one of Tristan's very first cheating thing.
Yeah, when really he'd been doing it with everyone forever.
And look, if it is your friend,
I get Chloe calling Jordan, being like,
what the fuck, like she obviously knew her very well,
but you should always obviously be more mad at the guy.
But also like,
the way that they all went in on Jordan only was not okay.
Yeah, she was also only like 20.
I'm just I want it is sad to see like Jordan how quickly she was just cut.
Yeah, so okay, I'll watch Chris Jenner you did another thing.
Yes, I'm so down with like friends becoming friends again.
For not not not me.
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
Sorry.
Sorry.
We didn't have friendship.
No, we didn't preface that right.
Me and Hannah would never.
But other people that stop being friends and become friends again,
good for them, couldn't be me.
I'd be there against my will.
But no, but truly, truly.
Yeah.
What's this thing?
For me once.
For me once, shame on you.
Me.
No, for me once, shame on you.
For me twice, shame on me.
So like I, I also feel like it's like getting back
with an X.
Like is it ever really gonna be the same?
It also depends, like for example,
there's two types of things.
This is a great topic.
I feel like when I've gone through a time and a friendship
where they, one of us could end the friendship
or there's a hardness and we both decide
we wanna like continue with it.
It makes you stronger.
Okay.
Like I've had some stuff with friends that I trust them so much because I know we've been through shit.
Yes. And it's never been something I did directly to them, but something like they chose my side when they didn't have to.
That kind of thing. Yeah. It wasn't like a direct attack. Like someone like
tell this friend like they shouldn't work with me or something and that friend knew them way closer than me.
And that friend was like, I don't know. I feel like you're being kind of a snake with Hannah. And then they gave it a chance. They
realized that person was actually just trying to hurt me. And now I trust that person so much
and we're closer than ever. Who is that? Just get your hair down.
I'll say it full of minute, don't tell me.
I'll do social security.
Okay, so I am there with the ones where
if it's something that happened right to you
and someone's so hurt.
Yeah, so you can forgive people be like,
oh my god, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry I deceived you.
I'm so sorry I betrayed your trust.
I'm so sorry I did everything horrible.
And I'm sorry I don't want to be in your good gracious.
What is it about?
Why do they want to be in your good graces?
Because they want to use you.
Hmm.
Any friend that I've ever had a falling out with?
They come back when you're doing well.
Have I ever become friends again with someone?
No.
I don't think I've ever become friends with someone again
after having a pretty big falling out.
We've spoken again, we've cleared the air,
we will like, we're cordial.
Like I don't have any active, like, friend of me.
Who knows?
But I don't have any active girls
that I'm like, we got into a fight
and we don't fucking talk.
Like I still talk to all of them,
but I would never be friends with them
the way I was prior.
Exactly.
I once had a... Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly. Just two dilululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululul the problem like oh my god did I mess up with this girl and work it out and then it keeps happening
with her and you watch it happen with her and other people too and you go oh wait it's not me
that she likes this shit yeah and you have to decide like do I want it be a part of this all the time
yes because sometimes it is shame on you but sometimes some people like having like I didn't have
a sister I don't like having front fights.
Yeah.
I don't fight with girls.
I feel the same way.
I don't fucking fight with girls.
I don't, that is a very like niche thing.
Like girls who have sisters talk about fighting
and with girls away differently than girls that have brothers.
Yeah, like if a girl comes up to me upset,
I'm like, we're solving this.
We're like if a guy's upset,
I'm like, yeah, go fuck yourself a conclusion.
Yeah. Like I wouldn't classify us as
Do you classify yourself as sensitive?
Yeah, okay. Yeah
I wouldn't classify myself as
Directly sensitive. I am sensitive.
Yeah.
But also, yeah.
I'm so not sensitive that like I think it's a problem.
Like I'll say something fucked up and I'll be like, was that bad?
Yeah, but like if people can't set over like you trying to make a joke with someone,
yeah, that's different.
But I'm sensitive where like if you do something that hurt me, like I really can never trust you again.
Because if I wouldn't do it to you and you did to me,
that's not a friendship I wanna be a part of.
I gotta, but I've also been in places
where I'm like, you know, if I was in your position,
I might have done the same thing and that's fine.
And that's growth.
And that?
And that's being an adult.
And that's seeing both sides of the- I'm interested to see how like the Jordan and Kylie stuff plays out and like what are they gonna be seeing out all the time my real question is like what's
Stasi thinking because I feel like she said on Alex Cooper's podcast. What did she say? What did she say? I'm pretty sure she said that like Jordan not becoming friends or not being friends with Kylie anymore
was a very isolated incident.
And Jordan not hanging out with the other people
in that friend group was a totally separate.
So it sounded like she had her own,
they had their own beef that had nothing to do with Kylie.
But who knows?
Yeah, public friend stuff can get wild.
Yeah. Okay,s. Yeah.
Okay, finally.
Okay.
Does forced me to watch some scripted stuff this week.
Okay.
And he blew my mind.
What did he make you watch?
He had some of the best recommendations.
Okay, I do have one dope documentary.
Okay.
Okay, something you have to watch.
Apple TV is killing the game.
Okay, amazing.
No one's talking about it.
They needed to actually stop it up.
Oh, yeah.
I was actually getting annoyed at something.
Why?
Because you were paying $12.99.
Because it was like one scripted show that I would love every three months.
I was like, you guys need to figure it out.
Well Apple TV, you guys, this is for a certain, I think we all should do it.
It's called silo.
Have you heard of silo?
Have you heard of silo, Chris?
It's, this is the doc.
No.
Okay.
This is on Apple TV.
It's called silo.
And it's a, it's basically post apocalyptic.
Just apocalyptic.
And it sees people that live underground.
Okay.
And they've basically been told that if you go outside, you die.
But they don't really know if you die when you go outside.
And it's just like crazy thing where these people live their whole lives
in this silo.
And there's like a top middle part of them.
I'm very into people living underground.
Yes.
Like I want to know more. It's, no, it's amazing. and there's like a top middle bar. I'm varying into people living underground. Yes.
I want to know more.
It's, no, it's amazing.
Do you think that there's really people
that live underground?
Like there's like a underground thing in the subway?
Oh, like the rat people?
Yeah, like do you think that's real?
Like should we be scared of them?
No, not like we should be scared of them,
but like are there hundreds of people
that live underground somewhere?
I don't think in the summertime.
OK.
But that's why you know the summertime,
there's like way too many people around.
Yeah.
I mean, it's because they're coming out from underground.
OK, got it, got it.
But I definitely think people will chill.
OK, but I do think we're at people
is something we should look into in later days.
So silo is amazing.
You have to be very focused, action oriented.
Any famous notable actors in there
that you wanna point out to us?
Jones.
Got it.
Yeah.
Rashida Jones.
Oh, okay.
Isn't it?
And she's amazing.
And yeah, there's, it's kind of like Westworld if it made sense got it perfect and like a little less modern a great description
Thank you. Okay, this next one is so fucking good
This is if you want to be like
Like it adrenaline but like a healthy adrenaline not like roller coaster adrenaline
It's called hijacked on Apple TV. It's with Idris Alba. Okay
TV show or movie?
TV show.
Okay.
This man is such a Zadi.
It's like, oh, it's so Zadi.
So it's literally just about getting on a plane.
It gets hijacked.
Okay.
And he's a man.
He's like a fixer.
Like, you know what I know he does.
He's gonna drive the plane.
Or he is driving the plane.
He's not driving the plane.
He's just a guy on the plane.
And his ex-wife is talking to a new boyfriend
being like, he just gets called up to fix things
with big companies.
So you're watching him and he basically is trying
to figure out this hijack situation.
And it's so interesting.
And because it's so turned on.
I was turned on.
Yeah.
I was turned on by the pilot by him.
And he's like a male male hashtag is in the role
where he's like, I have to fix this problem
for all of humanity.
I'm into it.
Yeah.
I love it because I'm like, let him think
that he is a purpose.
They're like, are the guns blanks?
Like, did they have stuff in the guns or not?
If they make a move, like it's very like chess game.
Got it.
Very into that.
Third one.
Have you heard of Severance?
Watch that.
Very weird, very hard work.
Weird, just tilpy and purky.
I thought it was funny.
It's not for everyone.
Not for everyone, but I do have to say if you make it through towards the end, it got so fucking good.
Like they made it the first couple episodes.
Not that I'm saying like, I'm not being one of those
people that's like, once you get to episode six, it's great. Like it's just it's worth it. It's just
different than you've ever watched before. So the first episode you do have to like, I think you
were telling me about it. Kind of be like a real ass name. So it's the guy is, I think it seems Adam
Scott from Step Brothers, who I love one of my favorite movies. And it's about the society can severance you as in,
when you go to work, you become a different person,
you don't, and they call it your, any.
And then when you're out of work,
you become your other person, it's your outy.
And this guy's, his wife died, he hated life.
So he got severanced.
So he could during the day be a different person,
but you don't know what that person's up to.
And then his in-be-want to understand
what his out-e was doing.
It was a whole thing.
It has nothing to do with belly buttons.
No, literally nothing.
It's also, they made it, they set it up,
so that like season two is gonna be so good.
That's annoying to me though,
like at least wrap up a season.
It ends with such a cliffhanger.
Also a lot of random, really great actors in that channel.
Yes.
So good.
I am very into like apocalyptic, weird,
like philosophical shit.
And I don't even smoke weed.
That's crazy.
I know, it's mental illness.
Yeah.
Finally, we all have to run to watch this documentary.
It's called Betrayal.
I forget where it is.
Okay, that's okay.
We'll find out.
You'll find it.
It might be Hulu.
Oh my God.
So this gorgeous girl meets this guy
in college freshman year.
They immediately found love.
They date all year.
I mean, all college.
He's your older.
He graduates and she goes,
you know what, go do your thing.
I want to year my own.
She ends up going to LA.
She becomes a TV producer.
She finds out he got married with kids. She always kind of thought about him. She never got married.
She was like late 30s. He messages her on Facebook and he's like, hey, my marriage didn't work out.
I want to see you. I feel like that's going to happen to me.
I hope this doesn't. If you watch portrayal, I really hope it does.
Thank you for that. So, but I really hope it does. Thank you, guys.
So, but I feel like it's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic.
It's so classic. It's so classic. It's so classic. It's so classic. It's so classic. the parents, they're like, we love him. His name is Spence, which it's giving Dalton.
Yeah, it's giving. It's giving Dalton's dad. Spence is giving Dalton's primary care.
We don't have time, so I'm not going to get into it, but you guys know who Spence is.
Also, say Spencer. Why are you calling him Spence? No, it's just who you are.
Yeah, fuck you. So, it's got to it's like, you could tell that he just like drinks Red Bull all day.
He and like trade stocks, and you don't.
Yeah.
I'm gonna stop.
They used to call him like the perfect man.
Like, and he's really hot.
Okay.
Like really hot, really charismatic,
and he was a teacher at a high school.
So like he was everyone's, he won like teacher of the year,
whatever.
She gets home one day.
And he's always there to greet her.
Did they get married at this point?
They got married.
You see the wedding video.
Okay.
And he would do this thing where every day
he would leave her note on the coffee mug
of something he loved about her.
He would say, almost at the point that you're like,
it's too much.
This is when...
If I got, I'm not gonna lie.
If someone wrote me a love letter every single day
or a love note, I'd have the egg.
Yeah. But he was basically like,
make me wanna go through your phone, you know?
That's the thrill of adrenaline you want.
It's just checking your guys phone on the other side.
Make me like second guess,
should I be fucking go do that?
Like, you know, give me something.
But I would argue that if you guys like any flowers
in our reason, if you sleep in your tons of notes,
it's like, do you have a second?
Yeah, they're like, I got me two bouquets of flowers.
And I was like, why don't you just tell me
or find out you do someone else?
What's your name?
Yeah, like, in bed or over?
You know, it's up to three songs.
Okay, you guys.
So she was like, he's the perfect husband.
She goes, every time I would drive in the driveway,
he would come out and greet me.
She goes, like, get in the driveway and he's not there. So I walk in and he's
just sitting on the couch, just like looking into space. And there's a police report
in front of him. And three minutes later, the police come in, arrest him and take him
out. So she, there was an allegation that he was like with a kid, a minor, who was 16 or whatever,
grooming her for two years or something.
And the whole town is absolutely not.
This is teacher of the year.
He's everyone's favorite guy.
This is not him.
She's like, how dare these people do this?
And because he's good looking, everyone's like, the girl probably wanted him
and got denied, because he's like the hot teacher.
And then some people are saying bad things
on his Facebook, like people are like,
are you a child, you know, groomer?
So she's like, I need to get in on his Facebook
and delete these comments and like deactivate his Facebook.
So she goes in, but you have to connect through email.
Let's just say she looks in his email,
and this man was having sex with multiple women a day
for an underage, any woman, any woman.
And then she started a podcast called Betrayal
where she interviews some of the tens of women
that he's been with over the years.
Some of them had three year relationships with him.
And he basically was like, these women,
like it would just come to me when it's like,
he was like a sales.
He's up with all the tech.
No, she was like, he literally would like wake up
in the morning and reach out and like see
who was gonna bite and figure it out.
Like, and she told him, she's like,
I think you have a problem.
Yeah.
And he was like, they just kept coming to me.
Like so delusional.
How many times is too many times
to come in one day though?
But it's sex addiction.
But this guy won't admit it.
Yeah.
So anyway, what's crazy is just everyone's
like they really are the perfect couple.
And nobody died.
Not yet.
Okay, good.
So we're leaving on a positive note.
Yeah.
And we guys should still watch it.
I gave it away, but like I didn't.
Yeah, no, I'm not gonna watch it, but...
But other people don't leave us.
Tickets to our like biggest show ever in New York City,
just became available.
I'm very excited.
2800 tickets.
No, November.
November, November 9th.
The beacon.
The beacon.
Oops, you can't see.
So get tickets and thanks for
getting with us. Bye.
Bye.