Giggly Squad - Giggling about glove gate, getting into clubs, and meeting the parents

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

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What is up my gorgeous gigglers? Yes, you like that one. That felt right. That was on brand for you. Yeah. And we're like, finally you called me what I am. I finally get some respect up in this bitch. How are you, Hannah? Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. We are grateful for the giglers. Los Pendolones. Yeah, in Los Quellela.

Grateful for the giglers, mostly. Also, we both were in Baltimore this weekend. Which is just like such a brand-of-mass place to be like. It's the hotspot. Austin was last week, Baltimore's this week. How was your Baltimore experience? So I texted page, because when you're traveling on the road, sometimes you get good hotels.

Sometimes you don't. You would have lost your mind. There was not even a lemon water in the lobby. It was a holiday in. Why do you do this to yourself? I don't, they book it. They book it and I'm gonna watch you. Okay, but you, whoever they is,

you've given them a standard in which you're comfortable with and they're running wild with it. They're running wild. Basically, it was a holiday in with a chileys attached to it, which I've never seen before. I've never seen before, but I actually don't hate that. Don't hate it. Because most of these places you get into the hotel and then you're like, oh, I need food. I've been seamlessly to hotel rooms, which is a new level of disgusting. But I basically go to my room and it kind of smells like smoke, like cigarette smoke. What is it? 1995? Exactly. I'm like, this is in my head. This isn't happening. And I go to Chili's. Now Chili's is a fucking vibe. Yeah, it is. It is a vibe. People go to Chili's. Now, Chili's is a fucking vibe. Yeah, it is.

It is a vibe. People go to Chili's for a party. Like people are drinking huge, like, margarine. You ever gotten drunk out of Chili's? No. Oh, it's wild. And also, there's like a real culture to it.

Like, and then I ordered a blueberry iced tea as one does. That shit had crack cocaine in it. Yeah. I was off the wall. I was like talking to people. Chili's is like the cheesecake factories, drug addict cousin that like, huge.

It's like, yeah, we're related. Like we're in the same high school, but like we have different parents. Chili is apple bees if it was laying in a field drunk. Yeah, if it was lying to its parents and definitely was an a virgin by age 12. Chili's is a PF Changs if it was selling footpecks. Chili's hasn't only fans. You know, Chili's hasn't only fans shows up

to Thanksgiving dinner says they're a news reporter. Like they haven't only fans. But like Chili's is also in your fucking face with the calorie numbers. Don't you hate that? No one's going to Chili's to be healthy. So why don't you remind me that No one's going to Chili is to be healthy. So why don't you? I'm reminding me that I'm assaulting my body

with a chicken sizzler. Yeah, like if I'm trying to be healthy, the first thing I don't think is Chili's. Let's go to, and then I decide to order a fajita. After being in Tulum, Mexico, I was like, this is Subpar. Yeah. But I eat that shit. So then I get back to the hotel room.

Wait, did you go? Were you by yourself? Yeah, just by myself, vibing. Wait, you went inside and chiles by yourself. The most fucked up part is I get to the chiles and they go, we don't have any seats available. And I'm like, do you know who I am? I have the Giggly Squat Podcasts?

And I used to be on Bravo. Like I got rejected from Chili. So where'd you sit at the bar? Yeah, so I sat at the bar, but there was like the tennis channel. I have so many, so many questions on people that sit alone at restaurants, and I envy them. Yeah. What did you do, whilst you waited for your food?

I was watching the tennis channel. I was like the guy at the bar who's way too into the sports that's on and I don't care who's around me and I don't even care to check my phone that often. No way. No way. You can fully immerse yourself in the food and you're not worried about people judging you for how fast you're eating or having to have a follow-up question to the person you're talking to

listening to them when they speak. That's exhausting. Honestly, going on to eat with someone could be exhausting. It is exhausting. I have never gone anywhere alone. No, I've literally never done something that is typically a group or like two person activity alone. I don't have enough confidence.

I love eating alone, and group dinners are my biggest fear. Where you hate dinners. You hate dinners. Grouped because the group dinners, I'm like, what character do you guys want me to be? Do you want me to take over? Because I can. Right. You're either 100% in or you're home. Or up. You're like, I'm even what what character you guys want me to be do you want me to take over because I can right You're either a hundred percent in or you're home or up. You're like I'm even doing I'm either doing it or

I'm with butter like I don't have to be all all LA, but I am you know as an empath I'm taking in everyone's emotions during the dinner and then it fucks with my My dinner it ruins my dinner when Sarah is giving me bad energy. Right. I get that. So I get chilly so it's great energy. So when I was like bitching about like one of the other waitresses like they were like talking about their drama and I was like I'm invested I need to know. But then I get back to my room and I realize like oh this smell is real. And I hate confrontation. Like I'm not one to send food back easily or like speak up

for myself. So I'm calling that front desk. I start getting nauseous because of like the cigarette smoke and the chilies. And I was like, I'm gonna puke. So then I went downstairs and I was like, hey, my room smells like smoke. Is it possible to get another room?

They were like, which room? And I was like 4'10 and they were like, that, my room smells like smoke. Is it possible to get another room? They were like, which room? And I was like, 410, and they were like, that's not a smoking room. I'm like, but it smells like smoke. And they're like, maybe some smoke blew in. I'm like, it's a fucking who's outside on the fourth floor smoking. And UFO?

That sounds like something I told my mom in high school. It smells like weed. I'm like, maybe, maybe it blew in the house. That's so weird. That's interesting. And I'm like, it smells like it in the shower, but it blew in, okay. But they gave me another room and I was so happy I did.

But I have a friend, my mom's friend, whoever she goes when she gets to a hotel room will call and complain about something. And she'll always get an upgrade. And that's just like what she does. No way. I went to a fancy hotel in LA, like at least $400 walked in.

And there was something in the toilet. No. Like it looked like rice or something. Something was weird in the toilet. And I just sucked it up, I just flushed, and I looked like rice or something, like someone had puked, something was weird in the toilet. And I just sucked it up, I just flushed and I was like, whatever. No. But immediately I was like, I'm paying $450 for this room

and the toilet has something in it. I'm immediately when I get into a hotel room. I don't know why I just had it with this other mask. When I get into a hotel room, I'm gonna tell you what I do. So I'm gonna put it in the self lately. I immediately look for an iron or a steamer, if not, they're getting a call from me.

If there's no blow dryer, they're getting a strongly worded phone call. And then I ask for a clothing rack, like an additional rack. Good for you. This is smart, this is good to know. There's a few things that I've always wanted to say to people. One of them is to jump into a taxi and say,

follow that car. I've always just wanted to do that. And another. Yeah, I think I can do that just at any moment. Just like see what the driver did. Like, is he a down-ass bitch? Is he gonna be like, what's one? And start following or is he gonna ask questions?

Uber's, they don't fuck with you, but like taxis, you go away. And if you're like, I need to be somewhere in four minutes, they're like, done. And they put on like the turbo and then just like, crash into every car until they get there. It's really impressive. It probably makes their job a little bit more exciting than the usual day today.

If you're like, I'm about to have a baby. Go. Yeah. Like I'm 20 minutes late. He's like, say less, man, like I've been waiting for someone. No, but one of those other sayings is, well, then call the police. I want to say that to someone. But that, that was my biggest fear. We talked about that like, that you would get arrested and go to jail because of your fake ID. Yes. That was my biggest fear. We talked about that, like, that you would get arrested and go to jail because of your fake ID.

Yes, that was my biggest fear. They'd always be like, we're calling the police. And I'd be like, oh, sorry! But now I want to be like, that's my ID, that's my vaccine card, then call the police. You know what? I'll call them and we'll figure this out. I don't know why.

I want to be on a soap opera, obviously. I have a question for you because I feel like I needed to dig deeper into how you've gotten where you are. You guys have to understand. Page is great at partying, but she's also really good at understanding the scene to make it be as fun as possible for a single girl in New York City back in your day. I think you've done a really good job.

Thank you. Do you have any advice for getting in with bouncers? Because it's not even about being a wage. It's about making the process smooth and then also not like overstepping, not being annoying. Like how do you navigate being cool with the bouncers in New York City? Okay, this is... I get this question a lot actually. And I'm gonna tell you something. Because are you like dabbing dudes and just walking in? I'm dabbing, bounces up and handing them money. I'm going to say something, it is not me.

I have been very, very fortunate in my years of going out in New York City that at any stage of my life, like the first couple of years I lived in New York, I had a girlfriend who was not afraid of anything. She'd walk right up to the bouncer and get us in. Like I didn't have to do a thing. Then you know, she got a boyfriend so we killed her. And then I was so single. And one of my other girlfriends was the exact same way. Like she would just be like, okay, we're going to this party.

Like, and I'm like, are we on the list? She's like, no, but we're going. And she's like, carry yourself confident. Yeah, and she would do everything. And I would just like stay on there. Cause I'm not, that is so not my personality. Yeah. I will say there was one time I was out in New York City

and all of my friends were inside of a club. And we had a table and I was joining the table. So all I really had to do was be like, hey, blah, blah, blah's table, and then they let you in. This guy was not letting me in. And he was doing it on purpose. And this has only happened a couple times in my life.

Yeah. Because when they don't fuck with you, like they don't fuck with you. Like there's nothing you can really do if they just have decided they don't. They just don't like your face. Yeah. And so there have been a couple of my times in my life and I have never told anyone this because I didn't want to look like a loser in front of my friends. But my dad is always in the back of my head being like, you should tip everyone.

You should tip everyone. So I've given money to bouncers and Ben like, I need to skip this line. Because like being in the line, I felt like was more embarrassing. Now I'm like, fuck you, fuck this club. I don't give a shit. I'm going home.

Yeah. But I have, I have tipped bouncers before, yes. Well in New York City, it's weird. Like if there's a line, everyone wants to go to the club with the line. But then you also do not want to be waiting in the line. And you walk in the club. And there's 10 people.

And you're like, why don't we let everyone in so we can actually party? Because it's all about making people think. It's exclusive. That's exclusive. It's exclusive, yeah. I would just try names. I'd be like, Joe's table.

Steve's table. My one friend would do that. One time we went to a club in Miami and she literally Googled who owned the club. And then she said to the bouncer, like, I'm at like Jason, blah, blah, blah, whatever is a table. And he was like, oh, okay. And I was like, who is that? And she's like, he owns it.

And I was like, are we at his table? She's like, no, I don't even know it. My mom had this badass story about Studio 54. How I watched the documentary about it, but it was all about who gets led in. But they weren't just letting in anyone. Like they were letting in people who looked really like artsy or cool or who were in New York City culture.

Like you couldn't just be basic. I mean, if you want more probability of getting in, you need to have no guys with you. Yeah, no guys with you. My mom said it was her and her friend, and they were really cute, and they got really dressed up. They got out of the car, and they were like, we just have to walk, like we're somebody.

And they just walked right up. Like they were just so busy, and they let them right in. And I thought it was like the coolest story. Yeah. And there are a few stories in New York City that like defined that time of my life where I was like, I just walked up to that club, the bouncer kissed me on the cheek, opened the rope, and let me in.

And I felt like the coolest person ever. Now I'm like, I just ate a hot pocket. That's where I'm at now. That was really insightful, Paige. Thank you. Thank you. That was really great. Thank you.

How was your weekend in Baltimore? Or like, your Thanksgiving? Oh my God. OK, so first I was in Delaware, which is like the most wholesome hallmark place ever. I went and got a Christmas tree at the same place that there's an animal petting zoo. And I was like, oh my God, we're doing Hannah's badge

or hat. Yeah. We did it without me. Hi, do you guys see a badge or hat parties and also sell pumpkin pies? Did you find it the animal farm? We went at nighttime. So it wasn't full on going on.

Animals were asleep. Yeah, but the goats are wild They go just like themselves like in the air and they try to like eat your necklace and shit Yeah, I was like I don't know if I really fuck with you Yeah, it was so cute. It was Craig and I and his parents We went and got a Christmas tree We did Thanksgiving with them like the week before and then we went to Albany. We did. That is so family oriented. You love that shit.

I love that shit. I mean we were family for like a full two weeks. We were with someone's family. Is that crazy? But I also feel like it's ironic that we were talking about you partying all the time and then how you're kind of over it. And it's because like you just wanted a family to take you in. And you were looking for families at tables and clubs and they weren't there. It was just out of control. I was looking in all the wrong places.

For families, love me. No, so we went to Delaware then we flew to Albany. And like obviously it was the first time that Craig was meeting my family. So like I was very nervous. I'm nervous. Yeah. And I will say this, it was a different kind of nervous

than I've had with other boyfriends meeting my family. In previous relationships, my nerves were, my family is going to hate this person. How do I diffuse whatever is about after 72 hours? In this situation, I was very nervous that Craig wasn't going to like my family. So I texted all of them and I was like, hey, if you guys could like not be yourselves for a little bit, that'd be great. And I was just like wanting everything to smooth. Just the bachelor of you having like a home and your mom sitting there like, so why should page choose you? We were doing hometowns. We were really doing hometowns

I mean your dad pulls on he's like I got a gun in the back. Yeah, okay Not really unexpected, but like a little bit unexpected my dad doesn't love me anymore and he only loves Craig and he doesn't care about me and He would was like doing things around the house and kept being like, Craig, you wanna do this with me? And I was like, hello, you're the last friend. Oh, you're the last friend. Yeah, they're no their best friends.

It's the craziest thing. Do they text yet? They text. Okay, that is the cutest fucking thing. They text. It honestly could not have gone better. And then on actual Thanksgiving, Sierra texted me and was like, I think I'm gonna come to Albany

for Thanksgiving. And I was like, oh my God, of course. So she jumped on a train. We went and picked her up. She had Thanksgiving with us. Friday. Oh my God. Yeah, we played family feud after Thanksgiving.

We did boys versus girls. We had the best time ever. No, like it was the best weekend ever. And then we came back to New York on Saturday and we went to the Baltimore game on Sunday, which opens glove gate. Everyone needs to know what happened with the gloves. The first thing I want to say is I die for the gigglers. If any of you need a blood transfusion or a kidney transplant, like hit me up because not one person told Craig about glove gate, not one. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I was literally doing the English a real mother. No like real They just needed boundaries. They we did a sneak boundaries

We told them the boundaries and they were like done. They were like thank you sign seal delivered. I'm yours Yeah, because I Thought Craig was almost like fucking with me because he kept bringing up the gloves and he was like do you have your gloves? Like it's gonna be really cold. It was really fucking cold, so I was very happy I had them. But at one point at the game, I was like, can you take a picture of my gloves? And he was like, for what? And I was like, oh, like the Googlers just like

wanna see what I'm wearing. And he was like, okay. And then like, I was on my phone and I was looking at messages and he was like, why is everyone obsessed with gloves? And I was like, I. And then I was on my phone and I was looking at messages and he was like, why is everyone obsessed with gloves? And I was like, I don't know, it's not just like the weirdest thing ever. It's like, and then.

You clearly have amazing tasting gloves. Yeah, I was like, no, they're so amazing. And he did not know anything. And people were like, okay, they're actually kind of cute and like you did it well. That's amazing. So you nailed it. How do you feel about being lugged to football games in the cold?

Are you okay with it? Well, you're from Albany. I'm not. Oh, the cold doesn't bother me at all. I like. Yeah. That's like one thing I don't care about. But Craig was so cute this weekend.

He was like, do you like doing this stuff with me? Or do you just like doing it because you like me? And I looked at him and I said, oh, babe. He got some deep ass questions. Yeah, no, I'm like half a pretzel in my mouth. I'm like, right now? Pass the mustard right now.

You're like, why are you making me use my brain? So he was like, do you like this? Or are you just doing it because you love me? And I looked at him and I was like, both. I wouldn't actually be here if I didn't love you. Actually, I don't even like you, but I need to watch this snap, so please shut up. It does get exciting.

I mean, I was a cheerleader for football in high school. So I got a... I had a really small Thanksgiving. Yeah, where were you? We were at my nanest place, who recovered like a champ, got out of the hospital next day. She was in the hospital for a week because she found her.

Don't tell me she made Thanksgiving. She didn't make it, but she was like the manager, like she was telling everyone what to do. No one asked me to do shit, which I think is a pat on my back of how I've showed how incompetent I am over the last couple. Like, Des was like, why aren't they asking us to make anything?

And I go crazy, I have no idea. And my mom's like, bring wine. Can I wait? I thought the same thing this year, Thanksgiving. I was like, wait, damn, I'm almost 30 and not one. But I'm at the point, I was like, googling cute recipes and they would just like, don't, because my favorite food seriously. Like, they're like, we'd rather you know that.

They don't have time. Then they don't have time. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm No, I don't have this. Italian families are the NFL draft for holidays. Like they're not just winging it. Not even an appetizer. Like they have the spread. Don't fucking come in with some bullshit. You want a holiday fourth of July? Thanks, give me absolutely out of here. Flag days, your holiday.

This is why I am the way I am. My mom is like, bring white wine. And like I have white wine in the house, so I bring two things of white wine. We forgot to drink it. Like that's our family. Like we just never, like I was like, do we even open the wine?

And they were like, oh my God, we forgot to open on the wine. Like that's our family just doesn't drink. It's so weird. But my Nana, she was fully decked out. She had a wheelchair just because she's recovering. And she was like, it was crazy. I haven't posted in four days and I thought my follow was going to be mad at me, but I gained followers. Why am I working so hard when I gained followers? It's crazy. I don't know what to do. But my last post got over it.

She's like, so I need you to throw me down the stairs really quick And I was just next to her because I am her manager and I was like now to your engagement your last couple of folks of photos were great and We go to take a photo and she goes get the wheelchair in it And I go this one's a genius this one's a marketing genius Chris Kardashian calls her and she's like we heard what you've been doing. We'd love to bring you on board. Chris Jenner is looking to sign her. Oh my God. But we had, it was great.

It was just my Nana, my problem, my mom, my dad, and me and Dad's. Oh my God, that's so cute. Because my brother and his wife, holy shit, he's married, are in Indiana. So we do a little FaceTime. We have a very small family. Well, Des does have like 20 cousins, but we are doing Christmas with them. But anyway, guys, long story short, when you get a significant other, holidays are exhausting. They are.

It's almost like they're exhausting only because I feel like you put so much pressure on yourself like a prior and while it's going on. It's not even like the acts of what you're doing because you're not doing anything but like sitting and eating. Do you remember when you were little how holidays were like a magical day and then there was a time when you're like a teenager or early 20s when you were like this is just a day. Yeah, it is just a day But I want to have a mental health moment because I did hear that the holidays are actually like the highest bike in depression Exiting and suicide Wow, if you think about it

It's like if you had lost a family member or you feel alone. It's just like a time where people are forcing Happiness and jolliness in your face and it can make you feel really insecure or lonely or Down if you don't feel Happy during the holidays behind every smiling family picture. There was a fight in the kitchen like there was Like no one's escaping not having like you're annoying me. Like well, oh really you're annoying me.

Like I think my brother told me to go back to New York City at least four times. He could go back. You don't live here anymore. Everyone's like, all we care about is family and they just hate each other the whole time. So anyone who doesn't have a perfect family structure have perfect holidays, you're literally everyone.

Yeah, it's literally everyone. It's Cyber Monday today. Yeah. I just did a whole thing of like, I'm in about to post it, but like, I can't make a TikTok to save my fucking life. But I just did a whole thing of like, things I would ask for for Christmas or like, things like, just send this list to your boyfriend.

I literally almost texted Alena and was like, I'm gonna send you clips, make it into a TikTok for me, but I feel like she already hates us and I don't want to burden her. Yeah, that would put her in a mood. Do you feel like the emails are more aggressive this season than other seasons? If you sent me an email this weekend, you were unsubscribed from. We don't have something to name it. It is the time to be like, oh my God, I didn't even know I need to unsubscribe from these fuckers.

And it is. That's what it is. You pull your pushing so hard that I don't even know what emails I'm getting and I'm normally pretty good at deleting emails that aren't useful, but I am. I am harassed. I am bamboozled.

The fact that there isn't a overwhelmed check all button subscribed unsubscribed to all is crazy to me. There are some apps, but then it's hard because it's like I will like some of these brands, but then the next day they'll be like, do you want to buy more? And I'm like, I just bought something from you. Yeah. So anyway, have you ever shopped at a Ritzia? Yeah, I hate it. Do you notice that their dressing rooms don't have mirrors?

Or is that true? I've never tried anything on in there. They don't have mirrors. So you have to walk outside and there's like a big general mirror, which is, No. I first thought I was like going crazy, like that I just couldn't find the mirror

in the dressing room. Imagine putting on something that looks stupid, walking outside, having everyone be like, oh my God, that looks stupid on her, and then looking the mirror and be like, I'm stupid, and do that 14 times. What are you just supposed to like feel the energy if it looks good on you or not?

Like how is it? Yeah, this is an LA. Yeah, like what in the actual, why do they do that? Is it every store you think? It might be every, because you know how these corporate companies have the same vibe. Also, people are loving Abercrombie.

Yeah, people are really loving it. It's having a full moment. It's having a full moment. I will say their body suits are really good. I love their body suits. I like a lot of their stuff. Talk about a come up. People love, you know, a rise and fall and rise. Yeah, a rise, fall and rise. I think because it was so big in our age group that when it fell, we were like, and that sucks, but now that it's back again

we're like, let's go. There were a randomness is there. Yeah, we're excited. Yeah, because we like love to them. So I'm fully giving them a second shot and I think they are really good. I do have an issue with body suits though because as someone who doesn't wear thongs, body suits are not even like a, they're like a full wad of toilet paper in my asshole. I feel like. What do you think type of underwear you're gonna wear on

your wedding day? Why are you attacking me right now? You know, I'll be honest. There are those like unlined ones that you can't see it but I'm not wearing a thong of my- I am not wearing a thong, I'm not wearing a thong in my wedding day. Hannah, I'm gonna buy you like the outfit you put on after you take your wedding dress off when you're like in your, when you're about to lose my virginity.

Yeah, when you're about to concentrate. Concentrate. I'm buying that outfit. I think I want to start saying consummate. Like instead of being like do you know what Craig and I say now? What do you say? Did you go all the way? With each other? No. Do you want to go all the way? Sometimes he just said to me. Oh you mean to other people? But yeah like, I'll be like do you think they went all the way? And I'm like that's a really nice way to ask and put that.

Do you know what people don't talk about enough? How do initiate sex with your significant other? Like, do you go, do you want to fuck? Do you just start kissing on them? Do you say, do you want to make love? Or do you say, should we constantly? Because I think I'm going to just start being like, should we constantly? Do you want to make an honest woman out of me? Should we constantly? Because I think I'm gonna just start being like, should we constantly?

Can you wanna make an honest moment out of me? Yeah! Because when you're with someone for a long time, you're not finding like random moments where you guys are just so hot and heavy making out. It's more like a, I have 10 minutes to you, 10 minutes? Yeah.

You wanna go? Yeah. Like I have to jump on a call. Doesn't I all have moments where we're looking at each other? And I'll be like, does your stomach hurt? And I'll be like, no. And I'll be like, do you want sex? And then I'll be like, and that's the logistics that we need. He's going to kill me, but he did the funniest thing yesterday.

We were on the couch. We wanted to have sex. And he said, hold on one sec, I need to put a pillow behind my back. My lower back has been hurting. And I was like, oh my god. It was like so cute, but also I'm like, we're not spring chickens anymore. Just sign these papers in case you die really quickly. So, wait, that's actually hilarious.

Someone was asking like, how do I meet a silver fox? And I was like, hang out in, right aid in the AdVail section. I saw that. You, who I lost it. I lost it. That was such a good one. But it's true.

This man goes through. I be profan. AdVail. You look up arthritis. that was such a good one. But it's true, this man goes through. I be profan. I feel. You look up arthritis. I don't know. Support groups. But then I was like sitting on his lap and my hip flexors were so tight and he was like,

you need a stretch and I was like, you need a fucking stretch. You're like bouncing up and down and you're like, you need to stretch. He's like, use the foam roller and I'm like, when did we become literally geriatric? Yeah, like what's going on? And then I like needed to take a break because my hip flex, I was hurting. Oh my God.

I've done that too, like where you're just like, okay my thighs weren't built for this. What am I an Olympic athlete? Yeah, you go just like, okay my thighs weren't built for this. One of my an Olympic athlete. Yeah, you're from like lying around all day to suddenly. Yeah. Don't be a hero, guys. I'm trying to be a hero. I'm gonna build for what you see in your movies.

My thighs have a limit. Um, okay, I also have written down to my notes. Something kind of scary. Okay. 90s, skinny brows. There's, oh, there's something. I was like, we have to call. I would go on Amazon,, oh, there's something. I was like, we have to call.

I would go on Amazon. You know how there's those like mustache patches? I would buy like two mustache patches. But this thing, my eyebrows are like, they're not necessarily crazy thick, but they're very long. So when I brush it up, I look like Albert Einstein. So that's why I was scared to do it. But I realized, I have to trim your eyebrows.

Yeah, but I have this like glossier brow thing that I just like brush it up a lot and like it kind of looked good. Cool. Yeah, so I'm going through that journey. Okay, I'll help you find someone that like we would trust to do it. Actually, I would love if you did it

and then if it was good, then I would do it. Yeah, I don't think any pig for us. You're like, you got face tattoo and just let me see how it works. So this girl's name is Boris Lava-Sacova. So she's amazing cheekbones, but yeah, like this is me and you. Wait, I'm obsessed with her.

Wait, that is so good. That is so crazy. I sent you her style. She's so good. I'm you her style is so good. I'm low-key obsessed with her, and I actually had a moment where I wanted to be like, hey, how do you do your makeup? But I felt like a creepo. But then I realized that's like, what influencers do?

That's like, what, so just comment and be like, hi, we need to make up tutorial. So anyway, 90s eyebrows, I'm not doing it. I like, look, I'm just coming around to like low rise, coming back, and I haven't bought any, but like, I'm accepting it when I see low rise coming back and I haven't bought any but like I'm accepting it when I see it out. No no no no. Yeah but I'm not I'm not too I'm not getting crazy. But also I hate low rise because it's so specific to one body type.

Yeah. I actually manifested something. What? Something bad or something good? It's I don't know. I think it's good. I wish shoot. I have manifested accidentally that everyone's starting to dissolve their BBLs and lip fillers.

We, like, give an example on who? Chloe Kardashian has been dissolving her BBL. Does she not look so much better though? So much better. It literally looks like they had full diapers. Like they had a diaper that needed to be changed. It is what their asses looked like. Yeah, and like it can't be comfortable

being that disreportional. Like I wouldn't even be able to walk, I tip over. I think Kim might be doing it too. And then Bella and Dade. How did this sit in chairs, you know? Like I just feel like your legs are detached from your thighs. Yeah, it reminds me of those horse costumes. Where you have a horse in the back.

Yeah. I don't know, that was a very specific example. I get what you're thinking in your head. But I think Bella Deed is dissolving her lip filler. Kylie already was kind of dissolving it. But I feel like the Gen Zs are very pro, like, like, you know, natural makeup is now back.

I think natural faces are starting to be back. And I'm very, very happy about that, because I feel like it was too much pressure for everyone to have massive lips and massive eyes. I can keep up with the Gen Zs. I can barely keep up with laser hair removal. I don't know how people are keeping up with like doing all this stuff. Oh, I gave up on laser hair removal. I will be like tweezing my chin and does will be like, can you just get laser? It's not that easy. it's not that easy. I have to remember take my breath control every month. I have to remember to drink water every day.

I have to remember to text my friends back. I have to respond to emails. I have to remember my wallet, phone, and keys everywhere. I can't remember laser. Unless the laser is coming to my apartment, I'm probably not doing it. We have you found that? I can't. I would found that. I can't.

I always love that. I mean. Honestly, that is why I fuck so hard with long distance. And I feel like sometimes people think I'm like making an excuse like, oh my god, like no, I really love long distance. It's because I need at least three days to do weird, gross, single girl stuff that you don't do in front of your boyfriend. Well, you're gonna get to the point if you finally move in together where that just becomes. Like, he just sees it all the time. But you're still in the fun, like, let's pretend that you have a space.

Yeah, it's like, I don't do that. That's crazy. You know, like, I feel like he thinks, yeah, that I'm just old. My legs are always smooth. Yeah, when I got my appendix removed, they had to like, you know, stick something in your belly button and whatever, and you get like the worst gas. Like in sync. Because they're like, have to pump you with air and stuff. Yeah. It was so fearic.

Like, and that was when my relationship with him will never be the same. where I remember he just like he he was like we either like how do you get there or we never see each other again were you in the hospital or is it like over time they're like okay you're gonna like this will come out of the hospital for three days and then I was in West Hampton with him and he just had to suffer. And what did he say? I mean, at first he thought it was kind of funny and then he started to get annoyed.

He was like, okay, this is not like not a safe living environment for me. And I was like, he's like, I'm calling a bomb squad because I think they are actually poisoning me. So that's why I make hard jokes to make myself feel better. And that's why you're getting married. Even today, we got coffee and he loves coffee. Yeah. Loves it. I post, he gets so happy with coffee.

I think he loves coffee more than me, which is something else. I'm going to unpack at a later date with him. But we're walking back and I'm like, oh, I'm like, I need to ship myself. And it's going to be a good one. I could feel it. And he kind of laughed. And then like a couple of steps later, he's like, oh, I need to ship.

And then we were arguing about who would ship first in the bathroom because we have a one bathroom. And I was like, I have a podcast in 10 minutes. And he's like, I could do it really fast. And I was like, I can too. And like, at one point, I was like, where has this relationship gone? No. No.

Why? Can I tell you something also? You've always said to me, like, you need to date someone that you can, or like, be how we are together like how your friend is or something. Yeah. Des is you. Like we're the same person. It's like dangerous because like the sides you don't like about yourself. You're like, oh, put on the sides you love about yourself. You're like, you're amazing. But yeah, once you're living with someone for so long, it's like, I don't like having to navigate things and pretend I don't do things. But when you do a full shave and you do kind of put a little effort, he appreciates it, which is nice.

He just sees a wider range of you. That's true, that's true. But by that time, he's like sold on you. I'm like OCD though, so like I'm always shaven. Yeah. And like ready to go. Yeah. I think that's all being a slut.

I'm like let's go, let's do this, I'm ready. Oh my god. Okay, I'm gonna say something crazy. Oh my god. Craig has never farted in front of me. Wait, how does you find someone who is you? I know! We, I think-

Because I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think-

I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think- I think-- And I'm gonna tell you something. Every single boyfriend I've ever had, even guys that weren't even my boyfriend, like the first time they would fart in front of me, I'd be like, oh my God, we're on this level and he feels comfortable with me. And then it happened really, really early on with someone

and I was like, okay, we don't really even know each other and you literally just farted on me. And I was like, that's so disrespectful. Like, what, like, you don't really even know each other. And you literally just farted on me. And I was like, that's so disrespectful. Like, what, like you don't give a shit. Yeah. I've never farted in front of any boyfriend ever. Ever. Like, I don't think that they think I even have an aunt.

Did you say your mom's never farted in front of me? My mom has never farted in front of my dad ever. But this is the thing. I don't know if it's like I'm part Jewish. I have ideas. I am so gassy. I'm the kind of person. I'll be in a room alone and start smelling something.

I'll be like, who for? Did I fart? I am just a crags favorite thing about me is how girly I am. Oh my god, you guys. And I love it. Because I'm like, yeah, I'm the girl. Yes I love being a girl. Yeah, so this is the thing

But I still try not to fart in front of does and that's how I know we're still in love because I've used my farting think about holding in it. Yeah, I've tried which is like huge for me Cuz I've used farting to like end a relationship before like I remember You know when you subconsciously are just over someone like you have the Ick I used to like fart on him like I just you know when you want a guy to break up with you Yeah, like I was using my the power of my farts to do that And that's when I realized I didn't like the guy. Did you hear the girl who? Who's selling her farts in a jar? I saw that written on the thing.

I mean, 45 grand. How do you put it in a jar? This is my thing. I'm great at farting and that is difficult for me. I just don't get the science behind it. I don't know, but she had a whole explanation. She was like, when you first open it, it's the first couple sips that will be ideal. And I was like, no, Hannah, you have to stop because I'll actually throw up that actually that

just triggered me no like I'm gonna do it stop oh stop I actually can't think about opening a jar right now oh my god Hannah know that I actually really I'm never on a mason jar god damn it what am I gonna do in Charleston if I never on a mason jar wait no I know I'm getting for your birthday next year oh my god that's so disgusting like I can deal with your disgustingness I can't think of someone else's farts yeah wait that means you love me yeah you're the only person in my life that I have these conversations with because I truly love you and if you farted on me, I wouldn't care. But I'll know.

But I'll know. Oh my god, no. People message me if this is with you too. My farts are worse when I'm going through a tough time. So in your support group, I don't want in on. You. Okay. For the farting family support group. No, you know how psychics will be like, oh, like, you know, you get bloated when you're holding stuff in. Like I think I'm like that where when I was going through shit, I could not stop farting, everything I ate out fart. But then when I'm happy, I'm like, I don't fart as much. No, that is true.

And mine is just different, mine's throwing up. Exactly. I make myself so worked up that I'll puke. We both eject, but from different holes. We have a couple more minutes. Can we do some front page news? I have one thing. Okay, I have one thing to what?

Okay, so my thing is basically, Haley Bieber's only like 25. Yeah, she's young. I had no idea she was so young. So that was my first part. I swear it gets more interesting. So I can part, I follow this account pop culture angel, which I feel like everyone should follow

and they do this thing called like curse celebrity moments. And it's old tweets from Haley Bieber in 2011, which I guess it doesn't feel that long ago, but that shit was 10 years ago. Yeah, that was fucking long ago. We were in freshman in college. This girl, Haley Bieber, tweeted September 2011. I don't care what anyone says, but Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez together is the definition of a teenage dream hashtag word with like like two thousand likes. Oh my god. And then in May, so like months later, she just goes, I'm for sure 100% team hashtag, Jalena.

Justin Selena. Did she manifest? Did she manifest? Justin Bieber? She definitely did. But it's just, it's wild that she was like a fan in that way. I'm gonna tell you something now. I watched Southern Charm before I knew Craig

and a thousand percent had a crush on him. I was like, yeah, he's hot. But were you like, I'm, I mean, I was in trouble. I was in trouble. I was in trouble. No, I was definitely wasn't tweeting about him. I didn't follow him on Instagram.

I didn't like no one's saying about him. A thousand percent normal. Like you should have had a crush on him when you were watching, but it would be weird if you were like obsessed with his relationship. Like I stand there. I'm obsessed with them. They're, no, that's weird.

They're the best couple on Bravo. Like that would be crazy. Yeah, and like when I watched him, I don't think he even, I can't remember, but I don't think he even had a girlfriend when I like saw him. That's like me five years ago, like I watched Deson stage and I'm like, I want to fuck him. Yeah, it was more like I would fuck him. Yeah. And I'm gonna. And I'm going to just my take a couple years.

We just need to navigate some shit. Wait, is that really weird that we both met? We both manifested. And I'm going to just might take a couple years. We just need to navigate some shit. Is that really weird that we both met? We both manifested. And like saw them knew them. And we're like, yeah, I would absolutely fuck you. But you know what I love? You and Craig met multiple times when the universe

wasn't ready. Yeah. And you still, like the manifestation still worked. Because you could have easily been like, okay, I met him, we didn't really hit it off because he didn't give me any attention cause he's taken or whatever. And I didn't try.

Yeah. Okay, we have to jump on a creative call for merch. Oh right, we call. We have a sale going on for Cyber Monday. And we never do sales. So it's like 15, 20% off, giglysquad.com, gigly-squad.com. Go for it, we love you guys so much and thanks for giggling.