Giggly Squad - Giggling about good posture, Birkins, and private jets
Episode Date: July 27, 2022We have a couple tickets left for our shows in Boston and New York HERE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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What is up my glamorous giggle is that one was chic she so chic, she's so glamorous. I have to tell you, every giggler I meet is like a gorgeous engineer, a gorgeous lawyer.
They are really smart.
Because of the United States.
What are you doing listening to us?
Stop it.
There's so much more successful than us.
So much more.
I'm like, you're a doctor.
Why are you asking me?
Yes, I'm girls like when I'm doing brain surgery, I like to listen to
Giggling in the background. I'm like, I'm worried for our nation.
As a whole.
Wait, the gigglers were trolling Craig on Instagram the other day and I don't think he even
knew that they were doing it and it was everything. Everything. He was like, reposting them.
What is it?
No, they were like, he was like doing like a ask me anything and
Someone wrote in and it was like what country do you eat bread in and he answered it?
He was like France and Italy and I was like oh my god. I love when we troll people. I mean
Craig needs to enjoy a pita from the Mediterranean, but
What is I just have to address this? Are we okay with Craig's like comic
sands? Number not. I mean, I'm not. Are we except, is it like the socks and sandals? Is it okay?
Like, do we let him continue this? It's just like the reflection that he's putting out into the world
is really hurting my brand that I've worked so hard to... To curate.
Yeah, and so it's definitely like on my notes app of like things I just like about him.
For sure.
But I don't think he knows that he can like change the font.
That's the thing.
Is it just stuck in Comic Sans?
I think it's stuck there.
But what's worse being so dumb you don't know the text or you you're consciously choosing a comic sans font
The ladder for sure and if people don't remember page one said that I'm
Comic Sans font in human form so like it's bad. It's really bad out here, but he's oh my god
He's so fucking funny like he makes you a
Okay, yeah, I will take that I will take that you. We're hell that a come, we all know it.
And you're like times new Roman.
I'm just times new Roman for sure.
I have a kind of weird update announcement.
So not all men are trash.
Says who?
Something happened to me, and it made me rethink about all men.
And it's a very embarrassing story. I could not be more ready.
And tell me if I'm right.
OK.
I'm doing this aesthetic right now called
like 90s pregnant mom, but I'm not pregnant.
Like, you know those cute floral smocks they would wear?
Yeah.
With the high socks and new balance sneakers.
That's my vibe.
That's what we're doing.
So obviously, have I So obviously I like have IBS,
so I like shout myself before going out as one does.
And so I went to the bathroom and then I walked outside
and it's like 95 degrees.
Like I'm dying and some guys starts going,
maam, maam!
And I'm like, you know what you decide?
Like do I have a response?
Yes. This could ruin my day do I have a response? Yes.
This could ruin my day if I respond to this.
Yes.
But for some reason, something in his voice,
I was like, I should turn around.
I turned around.
And he just kind of made a motion at my dress.
And the back of my dress was stuffed into my underwear.
Fucking your underwear.
No!
No, Hannah Lucy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no In my underwear, I immediately pull it out and I turn and I say thank you and you know your adrenaline's going because like something so embarrassing
Just happened to you, but the first thing I thought of is like
Not all men are trash like he could have been yeah, like shitty gross
I mean he how many people do you think didn't tell you that saw yeah?
I mean like what would you do? Oh?
I would immediately run up to the girl behind, like, run up behind her and be like,
oh my god, your dress is stuck in your underwear.
But here's the other thing.
I don't, I look at the ground at all times
when I'm walking in New York City.
I could get hit by a bus at any moment.
Yeah, you're like, I'm on Instagram, I'm TikToking.
But this guy was so sweet to do that.
And he was just this, I don't know,
middle-aged, tough New York guy who was like,
maaam!
Like he was just like,
I feel like on our next merch,
we need to have a drawing of you
with a dress stuck in underwear.
Oh my God, the copper tone.
Yes, exactly what I'm thinking of.
That's exactly what I'm picturing it off.
And then I just laughed because I'm like, this is so me.
Like I would do this.
So you.
But then the next day I went to West Hampton
and I'm looking cute in my bikini holding a volleyball,
walking down the street,
and this like big truck full of young boys.
Do you ever get more insecure than when like a car full
of high school guys drives by you or like walks by you?
I immediately get so insecure, I don't know why.
I'm so scared of teenagers.
I'm so scared of them.
I'm so scared of them, they are just feral,
truly feral.
They really are.
Like have they had their appropriate shot?
Like has your...
Ha ha ha ha ha. Like, have they had their appropriate shot? Like, has you? Ha ha ha ha ha.
Like, so these guys stop and days is with me.
And mind you, does is 6'3", like, does is a big man.
Yeah.
These boys stop the truck and turn and go,
pass me the volleyball girl and keep,
and then keep driving.
And does not are, because not, I've never, ever had dudes...
Kat call you with a guy.
I thought Desi was going to chase down their cart.
You know, jail guy that I dated?
Yes.
He actually went to jail, because he punched a guy who complimented me
So
Full circle he goes I compliment her matching set from Zara I complimented
It's not from sheen it's from Zara you fucking idiot
Yeah, I know she can't fit anything in her purse. It's for the aesthetic you asshole.
Oh, that is so funny. I'm a part of me. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, wait, so I'm still like in with the Gen Z, I guess.
Like when a Gen Z girl knows who I am from anything.
Yeah, honestly, like I love all of my millennials, I'm a millennial, I love my mom glars, I love the grandma glars,
but when a Gen Z girl says she likes something, my head is so fucking big.
Okay, I had the literal opposite thing happen to me.
I went to this like...
I went to this like influencer fucking like fashion lunch.
And I never go to those things.
I don't feel bad. You did that to yourself.
You knew what was going on.
I know. I was trying to put myself out of like my comfort zone
and like leave my apartment once every 10 years.
And so I go and like I'm sitting there and I'm like this is my
little fucking come to these things. There's this one like TikTok girl and she's like full
Gen Z. I mean she's right out of the womb. Gen Z. And I went up to her because like if I'm a fan of
you, I have to tell you. Like it's just it's just like in my nature. So I was like oh my god I just
have to tell you like now we're sitting at the same table.
So obviously we're all influencers there.
And I go, oh my god, I have to tell you like I love you have been watching your TikToks for like years now.
And she looked at me, she was very sweet, but she goes, what's your name again?
And I was just like, I've never felt older, more disgusting, less of an influencer in my life.
I was just like, it's not really important.
You don't ever come up on your algorithm, so don't honestly don't worry about it.
Don't waste your time.
Don't waste your time.
You keep doing you and like thriving and I'll just, I'll be in the corner.
Thank you so much.
I went to an influencer dinner once or like brunch whatever and what
I did was it was in it was a joke they were like who's the most famous person who follows you yeah and
everyone around said it and like obviously I was upset because Amy Schumer used to follow me but
she unfollowed me because in my head she probably was like I I think she's annoying. But I did say the celebrity who DM me.
I checked my Instagram this week.
Amy Schumer refollowed me.
She was like secretly at this dinner
and I was like, oh, no.
No, I don't know.
I'm gonna tell you something.
Vanessa Bayer, an Amy Schumer.
Very good friends, huge fans.
I don't know. She came back. She came back. She understands. Hannah, they always do. They
always come back. But you guys don't mess with her. I don't want it to be a big thing.
Yeah. I don't embarrass us. Don't embarrass us. But like, she's...
That's huge. Amy Schumer follows you. I'm trying to think who mine is.
I think mine is either Jabil and Sigler or Liam Michelle.
I am so happy you brought up Liam Michelle
because I've tea about Liam Michelle.
Okay, well let's just note that she's my friend
and my follower, so please don't disgrace her
on the Gagelysquad pod.
I would never. I would never, because that, I don't disgrace her on the Gagelysquad pod. I would never.
I would never. Cause that, I don't know her.
Also, I kind of love that there's a rumor going around about her that she can't read.
So I met someone who's very good friends with her.
What did they say, country read?
I first said, can she read and they laughed and they said, yes, she can read.
But it's so funny because she's like,
I would love a bad rumor about us.
I feel like that's more plausible.
If someone was like, page can't read everyone be like,
yeah, obvious.
It's funny because people say that I don't shower,
which is funny because I shower every day.
I'm just very oily and I'm Italian.
It's funny because I don't.
David.
So I actually did today, but.
So I said, Liam Liam Shell has this horrible,
and I hate saying out loud,
but like reputation on the internet,
because you know, she's gone through some stuff
and some people came out blatantly being like,
she's a bitch.
And if enough people say that,
she didn't go full Ellen DeGeneres,
but people were like, when I worked with her on Glee,
she was a bitch.
So I looked at this person, I said,
is she hard to work with?
And he said she is so sweet,
and that he's talked to her about it.
And she was like, you have to think of the context
of the situation, like, my boyfriend had just died.
And every time I walked on that set,
I was so upset.
And I didn't wanna be there,
and I took it out on other people.
And I was a bitch.
But like, I was going through some fucked up shit,
and I've done a lot of work on myself.
I've had a baby.
And she's now got funny girl.
And like, maybe she'll do a new PR thing,
but like, I get what she's saying.
Maybe that's what she calls me.
I get it. Like, I felt that. I was like, but I get what she's saying. Maybe that's what she calls me. I get it.
Like I felt that.
I was like, I can't be in this house.
They're also probably so jealous of her.
Yes.
I mean, imagine being just like a triple threat
and just crushing every project you do.
But also, what sucks about the world is there's so many people.
I feel like the people who have the best reputations are normally the worst.
We know the worst.
Deep down.
Like the amount of divas, the amount of divas,
like who are mean to production and all that shit
and it never comes out and everyone's like,
they're the best.
Like just, just, just don't believe everything you read.
I mean, it's also, I mean, look how long it took
for all the Ellen DeGeneres stuff to come
out. She would end her show with saying be kind. What a fucking bitch. Do you have to say? And from
that, we have to learn like with dudes, any dude that says, I'm a nice guy. Yeah, they're lying.
Is not a nice guy straight up or says like, I'm a good person. if someone tells you they're a good person they're fucking Satan if someone has to tell you this our mental health moment
if someone has to tell you what they are they're automatically not that like
have you ever gone around to anyone and been like I'm a good friend I'm loyal
and I'm a good friend like no it loyal and I'm a good friend. Like no. No.
No.
It wasn't so shooting reality TV that people were like, what's a good friend?
What's a bad friend?
Are you a good friend?
And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That like, this is in my space top 8.
I literally calm down.
Like we're not in Dorothy and like, are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Like, shut the fuck up.
Oh yeah.
Also, have you heard of this whole like,
Gen Z's nowadays don't play beer pong.
They do water pong and then drink the beer.
Like, what has this world come to?
So in college, they're like, it's the same cup.
They basically think it's gross to drink from the same cup
that the ball, you know, goes in, the ball falls on the floor.
And is it gross? Yes.
I mean, it totally is gross, but that's what builds your tolerance up from for like STDs in college.
If you don't drink the pong water, you're gonna get every STD. This is preventative.
If you don't drink that pong pong beer like you're a loser
Like this is how you can take on the adversity of the world by the adversity of whatever living organisms are in that beer
Corratt and this is coming from like pages of former
um and current nationally ranked beer pong champion
Yes, and Olympic champion.
I will Olympic up with you.
Well, I've also been on you guys.
We're hitting so many subjects today.
I, are you familiar with AirMez TikTok?
No, me.
Did I pronounce it wrong?
Hannah put.
No.
Hannah put on our shared note, AirMez.
Question mark.
And I just like, in my head, I was like,
is she asked, like, what could she possibly be asking,
like, have I heard of it?
Does she do like, does she know what it is?
AirMez TikTok, are you talking about the voice
that you did with the guy that does?
Oh, no, not that, but there's the concept overall
of like, what AirMez is, yeah.
Yeah, and there's a whole TikTok of like,
they basically are like a toxic X
when it comes to giving you your Birken.
Like you don't, yeah, you can't just,
you can't just buy a Birken, you have to like,
like it's a whole game, it's like trying to become,
it's like Charlotte trying to become Jewish
in sex in the city.
You have to be, you have to be,
you know about this?
You have to be like you know about this? You have to be an established AirMez customer
to walk in and like buy a berk and then you have to be like
somewhat vetted.
So when I was in my early 20s, my mom bought me an AirMez belt
that I wanted for so long.
And she ended up getting me like a credit card
that was attached to her so that I could buy it
with my credit card so that I bought it.
So that when I went to make more Aramez purchases,
I would eventually become an established Aramez customer.
This is giving, how do I buy anything from ArMS customer. This is giving cost vibes. How about any of you?
It's giving cost vibes.
It's giving cost go like fancy cost go vibes.
You know how to shop at Costco?
You need like a.
You need like a membership card.
I would love to see you walk into an ARMS and be like this is just a fancy
Costco.
Yeah, I have a card.
So they're hoping they don't want any Joe Schmo with money buying it so they basically just
want like pretty people like I don't that's what like half the
Berkins that you see on Instagram are most likely fake yes yes I'm just so
like random people aren't just having fucking Berkins. Yeah
Also Berkins cost like 30 grand. Yes, like 10 to 30 grand
There are some that are like like 200 grand and there were that because of the name like that's where I have to yeah
That's where I go on dhgate.com
And for those that don't know I just dropped where to get a frotta.
I'm telling you guys, it's such a...
I know exactly what I'm getting you for your bread pie.
Oh my god, I'm so excited.
I don't understand though the air miss thing, like there's this one girl who's talking
about how she went on this journey for it.
And people, they like reject you, they treat you like shit and it makes you want the Birkenmore. Yeah, it's like a toxic guy. If
he doesn't like you, you're like, well now I'm obsessed with you. That's basically what Air
Med does. And I can't even mail it though. I guess their sales structure works. Imagine you're
trying to sell something and you're just saying no to everyone. It's like any club. Yeah, I was
just going to say that it's like an exclusive club.
You walk in there and there's no one in there.
And you're like, wait, why do they make the line outside so long?
Because it makes people want to come more.
Because they're like, no one can get in.
But you know what I feel?
I feel like majority of all the money they're making is from just like a couple billionaires So they might as well just like lean into it. Right. They say like you make
80% your money from like 15% of your
Customers or something. It's also French and the French are just so rude
They are
They are I just didn't know about this like game you had to play about it. Yeah, it's it's a long way away from your
Frodo years ago
We have a lot of work today. Would you buy a Berkin like a real Berkin one day if you could yes
Why?
Because I want to be in the club
Because I suffer from insecurity
Because I suffer from insecurity.
But if you're saying, if you're sitting there with your real Berkain, and I went on DHK.com,
I got my Berkain, could people tell the difference?
Probably not if it's sitting there,
but like people would tell the difference
from human to human.
Pfft!
Pfft!
Pfft!
Thank God. Did she come out from a sua? I said, I said to Sierra the other day, something that I thought was a really big compliment
and she goes, that is such a fucking insult.
And she's like, you are literally the only person that can insult me and I don't get
mad because you genuinely
like aren't saying it in a mean way.
And I was like, I feel like I'd do that
to Hannah all the time.
And she's like, you do.
I've literally heard you do it.
And I'm like, but I love her.
And she's like, I know this is why we don't get mad.
You're just like, ew.
And I'm like, how do you do that?
I sent to the other day.
She was like, why aren't you getting a cat?
And I was like, I don't want to look like I own a cat.
And she goes, that's so fucking mean.
And I was like, but you got what I'm saying.
But, but, okay.
So I know you so well that I've purposely
been sending you purely aesthetic cat videos
with like the coolest fashion girlies with a white cat.
Like, and I'm like, I know.
I do my best. I know. It's a whole process. It with a white cat. Like, and I'm like, I know, I'm not now.
It's a whole process.
It's a whole thing.
It's a whole thing.
Do you watch the TikTok videos I send you?
Yeah.
Oh my god, that makes me so happy.
Do you watch mine?
Here's the thing, I-
I'm a giver, I'm a giver.
I.
Okay, so that's a no.
No, no, but you send really good ones.
I just don't go into the messages a lot.
Okay, that's exactly what I was gonna say
Why is tiktok
Messages so vastly different from any other social media messages like I
See all the videos you send me I watch all the videos you send me. I even laugh aloud at them
I'm not commenting in it and being like hey, that was a good one like yeah, I would be like okay calm down
It wasn't that funny.
Sierra, sometimes we'll be like, ha, ha, ha, so us.
And I'm like, stop messaging me on TikTok.
You know what, like someone DMs you on Instagram
or you don't respond, that's like fucked up.
Like you're like, where if someone message me on TikTok,
I'm like, you're not getting a response.
No.
Like, I have no problem leaving people seen on TikTok.
I'm just like, this is not the vibe. But like, Paige, it's becoming a response. No. Like I have no problem leaving people seen on TikTok. I'm just like this not the vibe.
But like page, it's becoming a problem.
People don't even say hi, Hannah anymore.
They just go tell page.
It means help me.
Help me.
They go ask page what I should wear this weekend,
go into the Hamptons, and I'm like, okay,
we just need a better messaging system.
We need our own social media platform.
Wait, have you heard of that new social media platform
called Be Real?
No, oh god, what do I have to start posting now?
OK, so I haven't downloaded it yet,
but it sounds like it could be so much fun.
It's basically like, OK, you have a profile,
you become friends with all of your friends,
and then you get a prompt, and it's like,
send a picture right now, and it's like what you're actually doing what you
actually look like like you do it in real time and it's called be real.
Why would you do it?
To basically like post a picture of yourself and it's not edited not filtered
like so if I got the alert right now I'd have to like take a picture of yourself and it's not edited, not filtered.
So if I got the alert right now, I'd have to take a picture
and be like, hey, you know.
So it's like, be real.
This is what I really look like right now.
Just within your friend group.
I don't know how that work.
I think you could be, no, you can be friends with famous people.
Okay, so we're trying, okay.
I feel like I thought you were gonna like that one.
I don't I don't see the fun in it.
Yeah.
Like it seems it seems like.
Do you know that like an aesthetic grade is like supposedly like out of style.
It's all about like your ugly.
It's I'm saying your ugliest picture in your carousel should like be first and like
the one that's like blurry should like be. If you wait long enough, you become in style.
That is what we learn. Just don't do anything. Don't change. But I do actually have a controversial
statement about plastic surgery. Oh god. I, dude, you can get here every time.
What is it?
No, no, no, I'm learning and I'm growing.
So I went to Spring Street dermatology.
You recommended it to me.
Yeah, to get my vagina and my labia and my butthole burnt.
Yeah, a laser.
You pay a lot of people a message from you guys.
I can't do waxing. It is so painful. It takes 40 minutes. I sweat. You sweat too much. You pay a lot of people message me, you guys. I can't do waxing.
It is so painful.
It takes 40 minutes.
I sweat.
You sweat too much.
You get too many.
You would get too many in your head.
I believe.
I believe.
Laser takes like five minutes.
It honestly, I look, he kind of like the feeling of just
like zapping that poor.
You feel like it's like working.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
We'll work on that's
my own my own shit but this girl who was doing it is like a nurse practitioner
yeah she was amazing and she was gorgeous was she blonde blonde yep okay I know
who you're talking about and I basically looked at her and I said can I ask you
if you've had any work done because she looks like very normal and she looks at my age and she was like, I've tried
everything and I said, let's have a talk.
Because I've never actually been in a plastic surgery type environment.
So like, I'm speaking from my own like, hold on the wall with my cat.
Like, don't put needles in your face and she's like, look, I don't agree with the preventative Botox. She's like, oh, super wall with my cat. Like, don't put needles in your face. And she's like, look, I don't agree with the preventative
Botox.
She's like, also where 21 are coming in.
And it's like, it's like, it's the collagen that ruins
your face, whatever.
It's whatever.
But she said, you know, baby Botox, she recommends.
She likes baby Botox.
She talked, people do a lot of like the heating
and cooling thing for fats.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, try that. People do do a lot of like the heating and cooling thing for fat Yeah, yeah, yeah, try that people do that a lot and then she was saying like she's done fillers
And she just was speaking a very like relatable way, but she was like you just
You can't there's so many people that go too far. Yep
And well because it gets a dicting it gets a dicting and she was like, it's about doing just a little bit.
But also for me, it unlocks insecurities I didn't have.
Yeah.
You know, she was like, oh, everyone's doing under the chin.
And I see myself in videos.
When I laugh, I go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
and I have 17 chins.
And she's like, yeah, you can just get rid of that.
And then I'm walking around noticing it.
When I'm 30, 40 years, I've never been insecure. I've never been insecure about my jawline. I mean I know I can't
I know I don't have the jawline to pull off a haircut like yours but like I don't have to. I'm keeping
my hair long but I was like I was like do I have jowls? Like do I ask des I like, do I? I keep in line to meet you full time. And I have a fucking turkey goggle on the bottom of my chin.
It unleashes and securities that I don't want
girlies to have.
But I also want to take back, I don't want to shame anyone
for plastic surgery.
I really think that I was just very new to it,
and it scared me.
But I think if you're doing little things,
especially to make yourself look kind of what you look like five years ago
or like but it's also I decided I was like do I need light bow in my I don't I
don't want to want it. I know I already know that the first time I get a needle in
my face and I look somewhat prettier, I am going to be addicted.
Because did you ever get eyelash extensions?
No, but you were, man.
But you look better without it.
So addicted to it, to the point that like when I didn't have them, I would not leave the house.
And I didn't stop getting them on my own accord.
It was only because the pandemic hit. We're in the end. And so then I couldn't stop getting them on my own accord. It was only because the
pandemic had and so then I couldn't get them anymore and I was like this is
awful. I hate it now. You could not pay me to go get eyelashes. But you did look
beautiful with them but you also look beautiful without them. I just look
like fake with them. I just thought that sometimes when one of them was like
hanging weird I look kind of focused. I like I'm like you would help me in golfers. You'd like
please pick it please pick it or I'm gonna. I'm just showing a fucking face.
But it reminds me like even now I have to say I've been in this weird like
shopping spray. I'm like I'm like because I've tick-tock there's tell me those
things to buy and I'm like loving buying shit and And I'm realizing like, you get this high,
but it just capitalism telling you like,
you're gonna be happier.
I had a full meant to break down.
Because I accidentally threw out an Amazon package
of this $12 dress that then was sold out.
And I convinced myself if I don't have this $12 dress,
I'm not gonna be the one I want to be.
You have to never happen to you? You're like,
if I don't get this all the time. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the
night and I'll be like, I never bought what was in my cart. What if it like it
sold out and I don't get any have to do it right now. I don't want that to
happen again. Like I don't want to feel connected to materialistic things like
that. I'm so weird. I did that the other night. Some girls wearing this is Zara's skirt.
And I was like, how the fuck did I not see this on Zara?
And then it was obviously nowhere to be found
on the God damn Zara app.
So I scoured the internet, found some girl in like Washington
who had it on her postmark and I bought it.
So much of this is mental.
Like for example, I've literally never wanted
Chin-Lipo and then suddenly I'm like
How had no one tell me I should get chin-Lipo like you don't like my friend. It's
It's also like no you're pushing your head back. Oh my god speaking of pushing your head back I'm gonna say the most 30-year-old thing ever
I have a new chiropractor, life-changing,
mother-fucking-life-chalemy-everything. Because you were very excited about this.
No, I literally voiced noted Hannah immediately upon leaving his
fucking office. So my mom has told me for years, page you have such bad posture,
hold your shoulders back, oh my God.
And I was like, how did I get like this?
So I never really cared until I started going
on reality TV and like seeing myself
and then also people telling me that I was disgusting.
So then I started noticing.
But most recently I've been getting like the worst pain
in like the tops of my shoulders and like my neck
and I just like, it can't sleep whatever.
So I'm like, looking on the internet,
I find this doctor that has all these reviews
and whatever, and so I'm like, whatever,
I'm just gonna try them and go.
That's hit our miss.
It's so hit our miss, but I was just like,
let's just see what happens.
Let's just see if he snaps my neck and breaks it.
So I go to this doctor and he's like,
okay, well, first I'm gonna take,
you're gonna stand normal, I'm gonna take all these pictures pictures then I'm going to take an x-ray of your spine and actually see like what's going on
He takes an x-ray of your spine. There's a red line and a green line. The red line is a normal spine. The green line is your spine
I'm a literal troll. I am literally should be under a fucking bridge.
He was like, look, it's bad, it's not great,
but I can fix this.
You're the first second to know today.
Literally, he's like, I can fix this no problem.
You're gonna be here though for a year.
And I was like, I don't care, take all of my money.
The first appointment is 45 minutes.
It's only 30 minutes. You go to
three different stations. The
first station normal. You lay
on your stomach. He cracks
your back. I almost wanted to
have sex with this man.
The way that man handle you.
Oh my God. He cracked my back.
It was like instant relief.
And I've gone to other
chiropractors before that I've
just been like, you know, you're born like this, like whatever.
Which partly you are, like the way your spine is
is like how you are born.
But the way he explained it was like,
he was like, it's not that you're just like,
you know, not holding your shoulders back.
He was like, your knees are not aligned with your ankles,
which makes your pelvis not aligned,
which is now fucking up your neck and your back.
So it's not like you are doing anything.
I just envision you every night watching Netflix
with the laptop on your chest.
That's how I am.
That's literally what I look like every single
fucking night.
You're like, why doesn't it make it?
I can't.
I don't know.
I did run really fast in third grade.
No, because I would wake up in the morning
and be like, I hurt myself sleeping.
Like, what is going on?
So then the second station is you stand on this platform
that vibrates and you just hold your neck back
for 30 seconds.
Great.
Then the third station is you go and you lay on this bed
for like 12 minutes and he puts like different things
under your back and you just like different things under your back and
you just like lay with your neck back. I've only gone twice. I'm already
standing different and my sleep, phenomenal. So I signed up for a three-month
like I got 36 sessions. He's kind of expensive but I was like it's basically like
going to a really good doctor.
This is like my health. Then he said, do you have stomach problems? I said, do you have the time?
Sir, and he goes, it's because your back is pushing on your stomach and it's making you
probably more bloated than you would be because you're, it's trying to get relief. So it's like
expanding your stomach. And I was like, so I'm not fat. I kept making all these
jokes and he wasn't laughing at any of them. Like he brought out, he brought out
the X-ray and he was like it's really bad and I was like I like to be the best
at everything and he didn't laugh. But the number one craziest thing was your head is nine pounds. And my head is so
much so pushed forward that my body actually it feels like my head is 35 pounds. I go,
I am small. I can't carry around 35 pounds. He goes, I know. He's like, and that is not
possible because your brain is tiny. We saw it in the X-ray. It is like a squirrel brain.
His name is Dr. Kang.
K-A-N-G.
This is not sponsored.
I had to pay the full fucking amount.
No, but I swear by chiropractors
right before my first season of summer house,
somehow my lower back went.
And they were like, oh, we want you to play tennis
the first week, and I really thought, like,
the first time you see me play tennis,
my lower back was killing me.
And my daddy was like, what was that stroke?
But he fixed my lower back.
I know a lot of people just say,
like, chiropractors are like witchcrafts.
I just think it's cause there's different skill levels
of chiropractors out there.
There are some chiropractors.
My brother went to one couple years ago
and he ended up being like bed ridden for like six fucking months.
Like they can really fuck you up.
Also there was a time when we did Groupon for everything.
I never really.
It was sketchy.
Yeah what was that?
That was like an era.
I did everyone did Groupon for laser.
We all paid like $10 for laser and then wondered why the hair grew back.
I can actively and genuinely say I never did group on for anything.
I was too afraid.
Saving money.
You love that.
You're smart.
You're smart.
Also, did you know that Uber's doing car pulling again?
I didn't know they stopped.
I don't even click past Excel. I literally don't. I don't know they stopped. You got, I don't even click past Excel.
I literally don't.
I don't Hannah.
If you ever do the next Excel, I need like, I need like room.
I very long limbs, you know that.
You do not, you know that I have very long legs.
You have the legs of a 5-7 human or 5-8 maybe and I'm 5-7.
What?
Hannah, I'm telling you this right now.
If you ever put me in a fucking Uber pool, I will not speak to you for at least a week.
No, but I'm just, I'm sorry.
How would I fuck her?
Uber pool is like, that's unsafe.
It's just not that much cheaper.
It's like a dollar cheaper.
It's also like, I rather pay $500 every time I take an Uber then have an awkward moment ever
and like actively putting myself in an awkward moment. I'm so mad at myself.
It's awkward enough with the Uber driver.
Right. Plus like you have couples fighting. It also gives that weird like airport mentality
where like if the guys kind of your age you're like okay, you're like wait now. Do I just fuck this guy?
I'm so romcom. Yeah, like do I have to give him a fucking hand job like what is going on here?
What do you get in your just like what's the protocol here? Are we making out?
Protocol but also then you're like is it rude if I don't even acknowledge?
Yeah, do you acknowledge you say high?
No, also what if I get in and someone's like,
oh my god, are you Hannah from somewhere else?
You're new, like, no, I'm Hannah from TikTok.
Follow my live-o neck journey.
Speaking of my identity transformation,
yeah, I'm going to Montreal next week.
With a French. With the French.
With the French.
And it's funny.
It's a very comedy niche thing that happened to me.
But I'll try to explain it to the gigwires.
There's this thing called JFL New Faces.
It's called Just For Laffes New Faces.
And it's this big comedy industry thing.
But I'll explain it's kind of like American Idol.
For comics.
So the last six months, I had these like two six minute auditions.
Oh my God.
And like in New York.
Six minutes.
In New York.
Six minutes is a long time, right?
No, it's so quick.
Okay.
No.
No.
So basically I'm going around like doing like 15 minutes, 10, 15 minutes.
Got it.
Okay. But then like I'm doing an hour on the road
and then you have to get six minutes down.
Okay, so it's like, it's maybe like six or seven jokes or bits.
So they're going around Chicago, Texas, LA, New York,
maybe somewhere else, auditioning comics.
Shut the fuck up Hannah, how many people audition?
Like hundreds?
Hundreds.
No!
So they, so I passed the first round and I was like, okay, this is, this is cool.
Second one I was like so not nervous, but the second I went on stage, the nervous like all hit me and I was like,
What is my name?
And then, but then I calm down immediately
and I did good and then, okay, so Amy Schumer,
Kevin Hart, Pete Davidson, they're all people
that have been picked as like the new faces of comedy.
It's basically like, they launch,
it's industry people telling other industry people
like how to get out for these people.
Yeah, like shut the fuck up Hannah.
Taylor Thomson got it two years ago, like ago like it's like it's a big deal and my thing is
like I just got um had a traumatic incident you know with the reality TV world
right where I was like I felt kind of rejected from this like fuck on industry
in a way and then to have like the comedy community because they didn't have to
choose me like there's so many comics
so to have them choose me to be a new face is like
Very exciting. This is beyond exciting. So now you go to Montreal and it's all the like finalists
It picks like 15 to 20 new faces and comedy. I think you're definitely gonna be on SNL one day
I mean we're working on Vanessa Bayer.
We're working on her.
It's a long time.
I can't wait to like go sit in that audience.
I love how you're like, what am I gonna wear?
No, literally.
I was like, what do you, what does one wear?
Just sit in an SNL audience.
Because I want to go to that after party.
When is it?
What's the date?
Oh my God.
So it's Wednesday and Thursday I perform.
Holy shit.
Well, we're manifesting.
Also, you can't like sweat.
Yeah, that's okay. That's...
Oh, that's where I want to announce.
I think I'm going to get Botox and my armpits.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Who would have thought I'm the first to get Botox in this friendship? Oh my god, can I go with you? I think we'll have to vlog it. I think we
have to vlog it. We have to vlog it. No, we have to. I wonder if it hurts as much because
your underarms are very sensitive. It's it's going to be a journey, but I think it's my
my my fear is that if it's not going to come if the sweats are not going to come out of my armpits
where it's going to come out of because if it starts sweating for my neck,
for my goggle, we're gonna have a problem.
My goggles.
No, like it definitely comes out other places.
And I don't love that,
because I'm scared where it's gonna be.
Where it just like stays inside of you.
No, it's all gonna be my upper lip,
just like tons of little droplets.
No, no, no, no.
I have a sweat mustache at all times.
Remember the one time you were just sweating from your belly button? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, JoCoi, kaput. That was quick.
Where were you?
How did you feel?
Give me the tea.
Well, I saw people posting and they were like,
they haven't posted together in a while.
Like, they're definitely broken up.
And I was like, I hate when people think,
oh, because they haven't showed.
Yeah, you're like, that's how it does.
I'm like, that's so stupid, whatever.
And then I was on TikTok and I saw that she was on like,
a podcast and she started crying.
Yeah. So like, I was like, this is such a different side of Chelsea handler. She was also like,
I opened my heart in a way that I never knew was possible to be open. And he loves me in a way I never
knew that I could be loved. So what's all fuck? As what I say, do you think he ended it?
Or she ended it?
I think he ended it.
Yeah.
Because the emotional response from her
was very, I just got broken up with.
I'm also very surprised you speaking about it
as quickly as she is.
Everything that I know, Chelsea Handler, to be an act like is the complete opposite right now.
But part of me is like, wait, maybe she's crying because she broke up with him and it like
didn't feel right but she loved how much he loved her.
Like, he was too much of a nice guy.
Right, like, I don't know.
I mean, you'll never really know the ins and outs
because like the public statement that people give
is just that.
We live each other.
Yeah, just very politically correct at all times.
They literally have a restraining order
and they're like, we love each other to bits.
Please respect our privacy and. We're still best friends and we wish each other the best.
And I just want to let you know if I ever break up with it.
If I break up with Craig, I want you to know that that first Giggly Squad episode is going
to me be me just shit talking the whole time.
Like you will not see a statement from me that's like I wish him the best and I'm going to be me just shit talking the whole time. Like you will not see a statement for me
that's like I wish him the best,
and I'm gonna be like, I hope he plays in traffic.
Just like we're warning.
I do though think they put themselves out
there so much as a couple.
Like, they really did, but it seemed like they were having
so much fun.
Okay, okay, but what did I say about the couples that post paragraphs? really did but it seemed like they were having so much fun.
Okay, okay. But what did I say about the couples that post
paragraphs? No, I don't know.
They were paragraph posters.
Yeah, they were paragraph posters.
They were paragraph posters.
And then, I want to do.
Wow, did we just come up with a new term?
Your paragraph poster.
Okay.
Your paragraph posting.
It's just what makes you think you need another sentence. Why do you
be adding more sentences? What are you lacking?
What are you trying to convince us to ourself, bitch?
Maybe he didn't like a public relationship like that.
Yeah, because they're both, I mean...
Private.
Yeah, generally very private. Like, I don't know who he's ever dated before. I feel like we only know that she really dated 50% because she would say it on
Chelsea lately, but like yeah other than that
I don't know who she's dated in between she's obviously been like sleeping with people
She dated like the head of E apparently and she got some hate because they were like oh she got the show because she's with the head of E
But her show was like the best fucking show on YouTube.
Her show was so.
But I farther back show the show the fun got me.
Everyone, please bring it back.
Her just shitting on celebrities.
Oh my god, it's so funny.
She went to Netflix too soon.
She was ahead of her time.
Just like such a dry sense of humor
that I don't think, like I think it obviously hit on E,
but I don't think it hit enough,
and that's why it ended up ending.
Like some people don't have,
some people don't have a sense of humor.
I'm like, you know, some people just aren't funny.
But did you see their breakup post was a post
that they were gonna say happy one year?
Like it was supposed to be a one-year celebratory post that they had filmed.
Or like it was already, like it was just, and then she was like this is what we were gonna
post for one year. That is what makes me think he broke up with her. Yeah, yeah. Maybe
it was like too much, but also like it sounds like it was a great growth for her, but I want
to do a funny video about like,
people commenting on celebrity breakups,
like I can't believe it love again!
You're like, Jennifer.
You don't know, though.
You don't, like they did not,
like when Cheney Tatum broke up with like,
ah, I was actually very upset for that breakup.
We don't, if you knew the reality,
like who knows, maybe like, tell you a toxic relationship.
In my front page news, era, I broke the story of Jenna Duan breaking up with Channing Tatum.
Yeah, and nobody ever gives me credit.
I had a friend who worked in PR and was doing her clothing line.
She was coming out with like a,
I think for like dancing, like clothing line.
And on the labels, it said Jenna Dewan.
And my friend texted me and was like,
she's about to announce that they're getting a divorce
because this is six months ago
that she did like these labels or whatever.
And I said it on front page news
and literally like the day after they announced it.
Yeah.
But think about like couples when you're with your friends
being like, oh, they're a cute couple.
If you, or oh, they're not a good couple.
But if you only stop photos of them happy together,
you'd easily think they're a good couple.
Like how many couples do you see online with happy photos?
And you know what they're like actual day-to-day. And you know what they're like actual day to day.
And you know, they're just like, not fucking.
Yeah, or that like they're planning each other's murder.
Yeah, for sure.
But if you just see people smiling,
it always makes it look like it was the greatest time
that you've never had.
That's why I don't trust people that don't troll
their significant other on the internet.
When someone writes a comment to their significant other,
that's sweet and genuine.
I mean, keep that to yourself.
I text it to them.
No, literally.
Text it.
Text it to like, why do you need to write like, text it?
You know what, that is like PDA for Instagram.
You paragraph poster.
Oh my god.
OK, my other from Beijing news story that I had.
Everyone has been recently very mad at Kylie Jenner
because you can see there's a log system.
You can see when celebrities are using their jets.
And she has reportedly been taking a lot of like four minute flights
to certain places.
And here's what I think.
Watch out.
Watch out.
It's a controversial opinion that I have.
Oh no.
My opinion is the people that are mad at her about it.
I'd love to give them a billion dollars and a private jet and see what they did with it.
Because I know for a fact, if I had a billion dollars and I had to get somewhere and it was two hours in traffic and a five minute private jet flight,
I'm taking the goddamn jet, like I'm doing it.
And so people are like really coming at her and half the time they were saying
like half the time those four minute flights,
nobody's on that plane.
It's like a maintenance flight.
Like they have to put it up in the air.
So people don't even really know if it's true or not,
but they are coming at her so fucking hard.
My thing is that they were trying to be like,
Chris is worried about Kylie spending. Maybe they did it on purpose
To try to change it from the environmental type of like people being pissed off and just her spending, but I'm like
Like that won't girl has so much income. She's fine. She's fine. I mean how how many Berkins do you have to buy? Oh,
oh.
Oh,
oh,
the air miss cult strikes again.
The air miss community.
And then people were saying that she was on her
bachelor at party because everyone was wearing black
and she was wearing white and the fake Mason,
Dysic, Instagram account was posting that she definitely was on her bachelor at party
to the point that Courtney had to post on her story.
Like, this is not my actual son posting these.
This is a fake account.
I can't believe you guys even believe this stuff,
but I kind of believe it.
Look, the Kardashians are geniuses
of singing the press.
And like, for everyone who's like,
can we stop talking about them?
I'm like, people are still clicking.
As long as people click,
people are gonna keep talking about it.
I mean, the whole Tristan thing was...
I mean, I mean.
I mean, I mean.
That man, like,
zero fucks.
Zero fucks.
I thought it was a joke.
I thought it was like, I thought it was a joke I thought it was like I thought it was a fuck of us
And then him being in Greece with like a new girl
People were so up in arms about it, but I was like
Guys
Yeah, that's him. He's gonna do it. Like he doesn't care
I would love to know what it's like to have that level of like
Not giving a fuck
I strive for it But also like people need to fuck. I strive for it.
But also like people need to stop hating on Chloe about it.
Like don't come for the girl.
Right.
Like she also has a family with him.
But my thing is like I feel like if a guy cheats,
he always has it in him.
It's like a little piece.
Wait, like what is the girl supposed to do, you know?
Like and it's not her fault.
It's not her fault.
And everyone be like, clearly such a dumb ass.
And like, oh, shut the,
Chloe's doing better than all of you.
So calm down.
Speaking of like, actually one of the most fun
controversial couples that people don't talk about enough.
Oh, I can't remember talking about this.
Who's the like, the hottest football player ever?
And like, Eric Dacker and Jesse James Dacker. Jesse James Dacker. Who's the like the hottest football player ever and like Eric,
Garan, Jesse James Decker.
Jesse James Decker.
We'll fucking hate her.
We'll fucking hate her.
Why?
What did they hate her for?
There's like a whole like Reddit community destroying her, but apparently,
apparently they posted a photo of her son.
Yeah.
Posted right on her dad's Instagram,
which like, it's kinda hard to post on Instagram.
You have to go through a couple steps.
Of him looking like so hot in the backer
and then people saw her hair on the edge of it.
And they were like, she was there.
Like she knows this happened.
It's like for press.
And then because people hate her, they're like,
she is the boy.
People hate her.
But I remember their show, I loved their show.
I thought it was cute, I thought it was fun.
They have their reasons, I guess.
But like, it was pretty funny what celebrities do do,
though, to get a little attention.
But like, my guy was-
Yeah, like I make a stupid post.
Yeah.
I think Eric Decker is my celebrity crush.
For sure.
I would love for you to post a photo.
Imagine you just, okay, wait, I have an idea for you.
Like things that are in the media that are controversial from celebrity's doing,
like I want you to like do it.
So like I want you to like post a selfie of yourself and like does showering in the background.
And then do like a full paragraph of like how much you love him
No, like he'll divorce me. He'll divorce me
He will literally divorce me. I like tried to post like a two-year anniversary thing and he was like babe
We're not that couple to you know. He's like we're not really married. You know about my other family stop
So I told him about the Derek Jeter documentary.
Yeah.
And he was like, I don't care.
And I was like, babe, how do you know?
I know you're a met's fan, but like,
Derek Jeter was like huge for culture and sports.
And he's so, and he's my, and he's my,
did you watch it?
My boyfriend, right.
Not yet.
But I go, is this, this like, what's my answer each other?
Is this because he's my ex?
He's like, stop.
And I'm like, you have a whole fucking fucking family and I can't have an x-boy
You have a goddamn golden doodle that has an Irish accent bark and you're gonna come at me
For the best baseball player of all time. I do I can't wait for you to watch it
I love that like you watch documentaries so like and I never do so I just get like the cliff notes
Because there was a line that he was like, if I was playing baseball now, I would have been canceled
in three years if there were phones like they are now, which is crazy to think about.
To wrap this up, we have one dope documentary. Yes. I watch Victoria's Secret.
What, and what was, what's the conclusion?
Yeah, the, yeah.
The conclusion is this, we talked about it a little last time,
but Les Wuxner was deeply intertwined with Jeffrey Epstein.
They tried to make it like they were in a relationship,
but I don't know.
They weren't sure, but they were like maybe Les was gay. I don't know. They weren't sure but they were maybe less was gay.
I don't know but less was just super about the male gaze and
women being aspirational. He didn't change with the times.
Yeah and then they had a lot of just sexual harassment
shit. Like the women in the
boardroom were literally like women want comfort.
Can we get some comfort
options, some like spandex and he's like, no. And then the model started like speaking out against
it. And basically the Fenty show. Yeah. Put them out of business. Like once Rihanna did her sick Fenty
show and all the models are like, this is the greatest thing. And it was like so fucking diverse.
Yeah. All body types. Every way. And it crushed. And it was like so fucking diverse. Yeah, all body types.
It is.
And it crushed.
And it was like, makeup was so cool in the vibes
and the music and everything.
And then people were just like,
Victoria, secret you're done.
You're done.
You're done.
It is actually crazy to think like now
as like women in our 30s to think that like,
I would stay up till 10 p.m
When the Victoria Secret Show was on and my mom would let me stay up because I would love it so much And I would go and I would watch it and I would go in my room like later that night and be like
I want to be like that and think about like and I was a tiny ass fucking girl like and think about like
Okay, could I walk in heels and like, are my legs long enough?
Like that, you don't notice, but like those little things, even though it was once a year, like,
they get in your fucking brain.
And they like wouldn't eat for three months to prepare for that one moment.
It was epic when like Bella Hadid walked by the weekend at one time.
He was like, she was his axe and that was epic but
besides that there were really no I mean I remember girls would like print out
pictures of Victoria's secret models and like put them up in like their
locker like two weeks before prom to be like to remind yourself to like
naughty crazy do you remember though and posted a take talk about this.
Everyone had the push up bra. Yeah, I still have it.
I still have it.
It was so thick.
I still wear it.
You could shoot me with a gun.
It's called the Shiloh's bombshell.
Dude, if you like bumped into me, you would like get hit.
It was like a football uniform.
It was so thick.
And I had no boobs. I was 18 and I was wearing that shit. It was like a football uniform. It was so thick. And I had no boobs.
So I was 18 and I was wearing that shit.
It was wild.
I know.
It's so funny that I used to wear that every single day
of my life.
And now I go brawless.
Like if someone says put a bra on, I'm like, what?
I recently saw a girl.
She probably was like in her teens.
And she was wearing like a bra and stuff.
And I was like, oh, one day you're gonna be rid of the jail.
But I do have a, an admission.
You know, I've never actually worn lingerie.
Really?
Yeah, like I've bought it.
I've thought about it, I've had it.
It's never actually.
Well, here's the thing, because it's a weird thing,
like you're supposed to wear it under your clothes and then like
I'm with comfort. Yeah, and I know and like usually you're like in a crop top
I'm like how am I gonna wear this like full like one
How am I gonna go from the most comfortable granny panties to fucking lace fucking floss up my asshole?
I can't
so I never did it.
And like, Haley's getting married.
And for her bachelor party, we're
getting lingerie stuff for her.
And I was just like, oh my god, there's
a whole world of lingerie that I've never even thought of.
Yeah, it's a whole world.
Haley's bachelor's in Charleston.
I know.
I'm so jealous.
I know.
I'm going from Montreal to Charleston.
I'm going to be there for 24 hours.
So I'm a Charleston girl right now.
Yeah, you are.
You're really like you're posting on Amazon.
You're going to Charleston.
You won't even need me soon.
Oh my god.
Well, I do have to say we're going to Vegas.
Life is beautiful. Festival. we're going to be there.
And I think we have like, literally a handful of tickets left
in Natti See that sold out in New York and Massachusetts.
Boston.
Yeah.
So thank you guys for giggling with us.
We love you so much.
Yeah.
Bye.
Bye!