Giggly Squad - Giggling about good sides, tampons, and turtles

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Paige wants to have kids and Hannah knows where Kate Middleton is. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Introducing Uber Teen Accounts, an Uber account for your teen with always-on enhanced safety features. Your teen can request a ride when you can't take them. You'll get real-time notifications along the way. Your teen feels the sense of independence. You can follow their entire route on a live-tracking map. Your teen will get assigned a top-rated driver. You'll get peace of mind. Uber Teen Accounts.

Invite your teen to join your Uber account today. Available in select locations. See app for details. What's up, Giglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shirt. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha one. Thank you. You flew in from Charleston? I did literally like just now. Because I was so excited to record Giggly Squad and I was happened on Craig's Insta Stories which I don't find myself on. Yeah, I happened upon it. I happened upon it and it was you and Charleston playing with turtles and I was

like this bitch has Giggly Squad in two hours. Charleston Paige, I don't know her. Never met her. You were wearing some ugly some ugly outfits to hideous outfits. I wear hideous outfits when I'm down there I'm not myself. I'm like very in touch with nature So Craig wrote in her element. Yeah, I'm like when was that her element? What is page feeding? And he goes she loves turtles and I'm like I've never known that about her I just recently started liking turtles. Okay, so it's nothing so he brings you to my side really Gasp lighting you know, he's like you don't know that about her

He goes we're like jealous of each other. He's like, oh, you didn't know that's all she talks to me about I said you're gonna start a turtle sanctuary called pages pals Here's the thing. There's nothing to do down there Like there's literally nothing to do so I have to like come up with hobbies. And I'm like, oh, there's like animals right there. I should at least bring them the salad. I'm not gonna eat. Oh, so you put, that's so nice of you.

You posted a TikTok and I was like really into it, like what you're gonna wear. And then it just stopped. Stopped. I was like, okay. I didn't manage my time. And then you posted it and then just continued the next. Yeah. Yeah.

I was like, whatever. This is my page and it's my Saturday. And I'll do as I please. Is Craig supporting your TikToks? Craig's super supportive of my TikToks. He's just very like, OK, well, what about? I'm also like his social media manager. He's like, OK, well, can you pick a TikTok that I can do?

And I'm like, it's not about you. No, I actually can't pick a TikTok that you can do because I'm not on the payroll. I feel like he's sitting waiting to get tapped to like co-star in one of your TikToks. Yeah, and then like I'll be like, oh, I have a TikTok for us, but then I like, we won't make it.

Cause like I get, like that was 15 minutes ago. Yeah, it's not trending anymore. Look at the TikTok for it. I'm like, I thought you had a TikTok for it. I'm like, no, it's over. I actually just, he hates, you know what he hates when I say? What? I actually decided I'm going to do that one with Hannah. She's like, why I thought that would have been a really good one for her.

I'm like, yeah, but it's just like kind of more mean Hannah. You know, like I just feel like Hannah would crush that role better. See, that's really mean Craig and I have Absolutely zero sexual tension. We have more other kinds of tension. It's tension. It's like unspoken though Where me and Dez could not give a flying fuck Could not I literally the one day I called you because I thought you weren't with your husband And then when you were with him, I was like, I'm so sorry even reached out That's so rude of me to call you while you're with your husband and then when you were with him, I was like, I'm so sorry I even reached out. That's so rude of me to call you

while you're with your husband. I left page like 10 voice notes and she was like, is Jess in Ireland? And I'm like, yeah. Yeah. No, because I love when he goes to Ireland because you get so obsessed with me. It's literally like my ex coming back

and being like, so what are you doing? I'm like, we are broken up. You up. No, I feel like some people do love having tons of friends. I need one to two people that I tell everything to and not a therapist. Do you wanna know why? I feel like we're like that too.

Why? Because we have such bad anxiety. If I know that too many people know the same story about me, I freak out. But then, I do have a side to me that like if I'm not figuring something out, I will out. But then I do have a side to me that like, if I'm not figuring something out, I will tell the stranger outside at the bus stop.

I'll be like, if you ever were in this situation. What would you do? And you're getting information from people who are like, I don't give a fuck, slash I've never experienced this before. Let's also talk about your new segment. I'm so happy you brought that up. I woke up this morning, I said, this is my creativity. I will not think of a new idea for years and then when I think of something, I go, I have to do it immediately. I called Des and he's like,

how are you? And I said, I know you're having a sales surgery, I don't care. I'm. I know you're in a different country about to be put under, but I have an idea. I have a TikTok idea and I'm gonna wear my tie because the tie is catching on. I did shows all weekend. Girls are showing up in ties looking so hot, like Avril Lavigne hot in the audience, and I'm like, oh no, what did I create? So I'm like, I'm going to do a tie, and I'm going to do a new segment on where Kate Middleton will be. And I thought, the first thing I thought of was I think Kate Middleton is like having an affair with one of the Montana boys.

And that made me laugh so hard. I couldn't stop laughing. I called Grace, I told her about it. And Grace came over and I was like, we have to shoot this new segment. And she's like, you have a lot of things to do today. I go, this is very important. And then, what else did I say?

I mean, the Montana boys thing is funny. The MGK tattoo. MGK tattoo. And I called him Machine Kelly. Yeah. And I gasped, people think that's his new name. People were like, oh, I didn't know he was machine Kelly I just forgot. Where is Kate though? Like I after watching the crown I feel like I am an expert in all

things royal knowing that they each even though they're all in a family together they each have their own team of PR that does their own for their that individual person. So like one PR team can be fighting with someone else in their family's PR team. And they're going back and forth, like putting articles out about each other. That was like the whole Kate Middleton, like Meghan Markle thing. Like they just kept putting out articles that like fought each other. And then they just walk past each other in the castle like, hello.

No, literally. Good. How are you? So I feel like she's fighting with her husband. And she's like, you know what? And now I'm gonna do the number one thing I'm not supposed to do, which is literally go, you're not gonna be able to find me. And so like I think she's not been up.

You think she's fighting with his husband? I think so. Her husband, he's finally like lost enough hair that she's like, I can't deal with your shit anymore. And there were always rumors that he was cheating on her with someone else But I forget what her name was well, I think she's going on a cocaine bender with Andy Cohen Did you know that came out and people were like what else is he doing? Obviously it's 2024 in New York City. If he wasn't, I'd be concerned.

We go, what the hell are you doing? He's not lame. Yeah, do you not have friends? Sorry. She's recovering from Hailey Bieber's sister throwing a used tampon at her. Wait, what was that story? Did you see that news story? I saw that she got arrested, but...

She got arrested for being in a bar, getting in a fight with a bartender, and throwing a used tampon at them. She took it out? I've never heard this in my life, and I don't know why we haven't done it before. The second I heard that, I go, that is so fucking smart. That is so...

Because one thing men are afraid of, men are afraid of two things, getting kicked in the balls and used tampons. Kicking the balls, obviously important important if you're in trouble, or just take out your tampon and fling it around if you're getting kidnapped. I'd love to know like. I'm way more scared of the tampon.

For sure. Yeah, you'd be freaked out. Maybe you're out to lose my balls and get hit with a bloody tampon. Was she wearing pants or a skirt? Like was she unbuttoning, unzipping, pulling it out? Or was she like, you know what? I can get to this in a few seconds.

That's your question, however, when people are drunk, they do magical things. Like you're like, where did that come, where did that sandwich come from? When people are drunk, they can do literally anything. Also, drunk people fucking in the bathroom all the time. Logistically, people be like, oh yeah, we fucked in that bathroom.

I'm like, how? Yeah. How? Where, what bathrooms are you going to do? I just feel like people that bathroom. I'm like, how? Yeah. How? Where? What bathrooms are you going to? I just feel like people fucking bathrooms. Like on like at restaurants? Maybe people are joking with me like,

yeah, we fucked in the bathroom, but like I've never fucked in the bathroom at a restaurant. I've done it one time. Was it like logistically hard? No. What'd you do? Like the sink, you sat on the sink? Um. You're drunk. You know god. Yeah, I was drunk actually. I went to, you know where I was.

Are we gonna save the restaurant? I can't remember the name of the restaurant. It's supposed to be a page six article. But it was right by the comedy seller. Whatever that, there's a famous restaurant right down the street, like an Italian restaurant. I went there, went into the bathroom, like had dinner, went into the bathroom with my date. Oh, after dinner, it's like, interesting, okay. No, I think I did it after after appetizers. That's when I would recommend.

That's a sweet spot. Not if you've seized yourself though, because then it's garlicky. But you don't have to kiss. And then we went to the comedy cellar and had like the best time ever. Wait, so were you like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom first, then you go?

Like, was there a strategy? I can't remember. See, drunk people are magicians. I think he was like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom first, then you go? Like, was there strategy? I can't remember. See, again, drunk people are magicians. I think he was like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. And then you come in. And then like, did you have awkwardness leaving the bathroom? Cause I would.

Like everything you're afraid will happen, will happen to me if I tried to have sex in the bathroom. Honestly, no. Like I didn't, I for whatever reason, didn't think about anyone else around me. If I had sex in the bathroom, I'd walk out and there'd be eight people waiting. Do you want to know why I don't think I thought anything of it?

Because at the time, I feel like I was going to a lot of restaurants where people were getting up from dinner and going outside and smoking a cigarette. So I feel like it was one of those restaurants that it didn't look weird that we weren't sitting there. Yeah. But also, I don't know. That's pretty badass. Chris, have you ever had sex in a restaurant bathroom?

I have not, no. Guys, what am I, a whore? You're that friend of a woman who I never have I ever. She's already out. And you're like, we just did three questions. All right, losers. No, I was actually going to tell a dating tampon story. One time I was dating gonna tell a tampon, a dating tampon story. One time I was dating a guy and I went,

it was like, we weren't exclusive or anything. Maybe we had gone on a couple dates. And I went into his bathroom in his apartment and there was a used tampon in the garbage, which is like. Was it rolled, at least rolled with toilet paper? Okay, that's just- It was like bizarre. I was like someone-

Cooked it. Cooked it. Literally someone wanted me to see this. So I go to the bathroom, I walk out. I'm not saying anything. He knows that I saw it. Like he knows something's up. I can see his wheels turning.

And in my head, I'm like, I don't give a flying fuck. I'm not exclusive with you. Because he doesn't know how you know, but he knows you know, cause men know when we know. Yeah, I was'm like I don't give a flying fuck I'm not exclusive with you because he doesn't know how you know but he knows you know because men know when we know yeah I was like I don't care I was gonna never bring it up we know sometimes what are you hiding no men are so stupid because here's the thing I actually wasn't mad and I was never gonna bring it up and I was never gonna not you know yeah I'm like okay yeah, yeah, do your thing. Like, okay. We're sitting at dinner.

He comes up with the most elaborate story I've ever heard in my life to the point where like, then I'm into it. Now I'm like, okay, what is it? You're like, don't guess like me. He said his cleaning lady's daughter sometimes comes to help her out and she just turned 14, so it probably was her.

I didn't think I was gonna stop talking to him just because there was like a used tampon. After that story I was like, I can't ever see you again because that story was so fucking crazy. You could have gotten away with it by just never saying anything. Not bringing it up because he didn't actually do anything wrong. I do think that everyone has a fear of like getting drunk and accidentally having sex with your tampon in. And then it's like either he's like, this girl has the smallest canal I've ever witnessed

or he pushes it up and then your tampon stuck in there forever. No. But I don't think men, Dix, are that powerful. No, they're honestly not. It'll stop. It'll come out. It'll plug. Like they can't get it out. Like they're not Houdini. Or Evil Gnable. Yeah, or Evil Gnable. Also, I don't know. I don't know.

Everyone has different periods, but I'm at this point where my period's insane for two days, and then like it kind of just gives up. I haven't had my period in a year, and I'm not laughing about that because it's really not funny. Something medical is definitely going on. But let me tell you, it's been so nice. No. No, full year, it's not great. I actually have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Yeah. Because something's plugged up. Well, let's just, honestly, you have to have a doctor. Half the giglers are doctors, So they'll just DM you. But it's not good. No, it's not good, but I'm a year off my birth control. And when you were on birth control, were you having a period?

Yeah, because I was, but it's like a fake one. And how many days of the week are you sexually active? Sorry for telling you I'm a doctor. They don't ask how many days they say are you sexually active, how many partners? In total? No, like at that time. In total? How many partners have you had? I feel like I'm not going to count him because I was like 24.

Honestly, I have so many half stories where I'm like that doesn't count. Like he tried, it didn't work. Anything before 25 for me I'm like, that doesn't count. Like he tried, it didn't work. Anything before 25 for me, I'm like, that didn't count. I don't even know you. No, seriously, at 31, to still be dating, like at 31 to not be engaged, not be married. I've been dating since I was 15. Anything before 25, that wasn't me.

I'm in my 30s now, I didn't know her. Yeah, you actually get a new layer of skin, like a snake. I was a born again virgin when I turned 28. Like that was it, I was resetting my clock. And that's where I'm at. I do think when you get out of relationship, you're re-virginized.

100%. Yeah. Yeah, because you don't know what the kids are doing out there. You're like, I've been away for so long. So I heard today, because I hang out with a lot of Gen Z's, Humbla Bragg. And you only hang out with Grace. Okay, and then Grace, can you tell her I hung out with another Gen Z? Did I pay her? The girl, yes.

We were shooting a video. However, she told me, and she's very cool, she lives in Brooklyn, and she told me that some Gen Zs are just shaving their butt hole. For the first time? No, like, because they're just eating ass. Pardon. Like some girls? Oh, when you say they're only shaving. Yeah, or they're comfortable with their pubes,

but because eating ass is so, they'll shave their butt. You know, this is crazy, but I just had this conversation with you. How is that possible? You know, I've been talking about this all week. I saw it. And I would like to consider myself very sexually. Who knows what you'll say? Because you've been all over the place. No, literally, the last five years. And I would like to consider myself very sexually...

Who knows what you'll say? Because you've been all over the place. Who knows five years? You've been all over the place. I would like to consider myself very, well, one, sexually active, but two, like I'm down to like try something or like, you know, it's... And this is coming from the girl

her first season of Summer House. I showed her a dildo and she pretended she didn't know what it was. You bought me my first vibrator. True, I was your sexual reticence. Now I'm a literal connoisseur. I'm like, get it out of here, I hate that shape. But that, I will say, that is one thing that I will never, I'm not reciprocating, don't ask me, I'm a lady. That's when I become a nun. I'm like, you want me to what? You should go to church. That's disgusting.

So he could literally spit on you, slap you, but God forbid he delicately puts his tongue on your booty hole. No, no, no. He can do it to me. I would never do it to a guy. Ever, ever. Honestly, that tracks for you. That's like, I don't even want to be down there.

You're like, I'm a star. I'm the talent. I'm the talent. Mom, I'm so sorry. No, I just, I couldn't, I would never be able to. But also, I think I give that off because I've never been asked. That is so funny, cause it's like,

I've never had a guy try to like, really choke me. Interesting. Cause I don't give off that energy. And you talk a lot. You would think they're like, I'm finally in here. Shut the fuck up. The only time I shut up is when butter falls asleep by my mouth.

That's when a cat falls asleep on my chest. Wait, that's so funny. You think Dez would be like, oh finally. Yeah, like I got her exactly where I want her. I think when I'm actually in a relationship with someone I really like and I feel calm with, I's so funny. You think Dez would be like, oh, finally. Yeah, like I got her exactly where I want her. I think when I'm actually in a relationship with someone I really like and I feel calm with, I'm actually quiet. You're very quiet. You're actually very reserved. Like you can sit on a couch and not speak for hours, like if you're relaxed. Yeah, which is pretty incredible. But like throw one new person in the room and I'm like, da-da-da-da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

and then they leave and I'm like, no, but I love that about you because Craig is like that too and then I can stay silent for the whole time. And maybe here's my friend, she's gonna perform for you now, don't talk to me. Please do a small talk this way, but she'll tell you a joke. But the crazy thing about anal is that for men, it's like so important. When gay men have sex, I've asked around. Yeah.

They can orgasm just from the butt. Like they'll have a full orgasm just from a guy being in their butt. Got it. Because it's hitting their prostate. Why is Chris laughing? He just reaction. That's because I have so many questions. I have so many questions logistically.

That man. OK, that man who is receiving, is he touching himself? I don't think he has to. I dream. The men have to do nothing. The men have to do nothing. We have to sit and focus. But that's why if you do, apparently,

because I have not, I don't wanna say I haven't tried, but I just, I haven't figured it all out. Yeah. Because I started getting my nails done. No. No. Hey.

Hey. But you just have to put your finger, a finger will make their orgasm so much better. It is literally like a button. It has told me a story about some guy, it's actually in his special. A guy was like, I told a girl to put a finger in my butt, and her fake nail fell out in his butt.

No, that's my worst nightmare. I think men, when they were just all the men are out at war. Yeah, they were all sputting each other. Cause it's like, let's think about it. Men are not as much about emotions. So why are you not gonna get your dicks out? I mean, think about when spucking each other. Let's think about it. Men are not as much about emotions. So why are you not gonna get your dicks out? I mean, think about when they go to jail. That's what they do.

Isn't that jail? No, that's... They're gonna give you 25 years of anal. And you have to be a bottom. Then they go to jail to be themselves and get in shape. But then I got confused, because I have a lot of, I mean, egglers who are friends, and a lot of them are bottoms,

and it's not making sense to me if everyone's a bottom. There's like three New Yorkers who are top. Some people can like switch. But a lot of people don't like to switch when they're their own. And I get it, I love laying down also. Like no one day of Craig's just like, and now you're on top. I'd be like, no, I'm tired.

But there's so many different kinds of bottoms. Like you could be a power bottom. We're going to get so many messages like, you guys tried so hard to get it right. You tried really hard. And you totally missed. Anyway, how do we get here? I think we started talking about turtles.

You know, this is where we got. Which is, I love to see our progression. We have to bring up the Noah Cyrus drama. I love to see our progression. We have to bring up the Noah Cyrus drama. I mean, what is going on in that family? I don't know because I mean, Noah Cyrus's mom Trish, which is such a mom name. No, her name could only be Trish.

You came out as a mom named Trish. If you have Miley and Noah, like in this country, you're Trish. I've never met a child named Trish. If you have Miley and Noah, like, and this country, your Trish. I've never met a child named Trish. It's only a mom. I don't think I know. Is Trish short for something Trishel? Trishel?

Trishel. But Trishel is like, you might as well just call her Trishel. Trish. I don't know. Trish. But Trish is the name from that video that everyone says that's me and you when it's not Amy Poehler,

Kristen Wiig and the other comedian, they're like on the plane and they go back and forth and they do like a fake video. They do like a fake like scenario. It's literally us when we talk about men's names. I don't know, no, it was like a movie, not an essay. Yes, yes, yes. But the girl's name was Trish and then I always think of it.

Okay, so Noah's dating this man. Noah was dating this man. But people were trying to say at first they weren't dating. Okay, they break up, they're over. And he was a Zaddy. And then Trish is like, hey, and starts dating him. See, that's what I wanna know, how did the hey happen? I mean, was he over one night for dinner? Like, I don't...

So now they're, like, getting married? Are they getting married? I think so. But they kept it on the low, this whole drama, until the wedding, and then people are saying that Noah's not going to the wedding because she's pissed. I mean... It's loaded.

It's... Disgusting, also. It's loaded and disgusting. Could you imagine dating someone and then sweet, sweet Lenore? Being like, leave Lenore out of this? I mean, it could have happened one time.

It was Jossie J and it just, it didn't happen. Jossie John loved my mom. Actually every guy a date loves my mom. Every guy a date. That's so funny, because every guy a date hates my mom. Cause she doesn't warm up to like, she's like, don't. She's like, you don't deserve her. They love my dad, hates my mom. Because she doesn't warm up. Like she's like don't.

She's like you don't deserve her. They love my dad, hate my mom because my mom's real. See my dad, my dad's like do you know any Knicks players and they're like what? And then my mom, they're like your mom is just like you except domesticated and on her shit and like a caretaker. They're like can you be more like your mom and I, no, then go hang out with my mom then. My mom's just like me, except she can see more clearly.

You know? She's wiser. I'm like, if she doesn't like you, there's a fucking reason, okay? And that's a personal problem that you have, not us. Wait, and like, I have that character where like, the fact that Kim likes me makes my day. But she literally, it's just a look she'll give me,

like a little smile, and I'm just like, ugh. She's very proud of you. No, my dad, honestly, I feel like it's jealous. You just love her so much. I'm like, yeah, she's my friend. I love you too, dad. She's not replacing you. The only family member that is not jealous is Gary,

because Gary knows that you love him so much, and he's actually like confident. Gary's such a true older brother in terms of like, he thinks we stole his whole idea. You know, like he thinks that like we are anything because we are younger siblings. You know, he's like, you guys wouldn't have even known anything

or how to be funny if I wasn't involved. I'm like, okay. I will say I do play drys a lot of his jokes. Well, he's riffing with you. Yeah, so I'm like, I'll take that. You do have a good eye for jokes. Like you can tell when something's funny. It seemed like an outfit.

Like you have an eye for when something works. Yes. So my brother, I went to Gary and Deanna. He doesn't live in Gary, but he lives right by there. To see Lois. Yes. And apparently Lois, when she misses me, they'll just play my videos on mute.

Stop. And she just, she'll like cry and then she'll watch my video. So I walked in and she was like lost her fucking mind. Oh my God. I lost my mind. We facetime you, she put on sunglasses for you. That was cute.

She's so cute. No, it's like next level, cute where I sat them down. I said, you guys are near Chicago. Do we want to sign her up with an agency? I was like, honestly, the Gigglers love Lois. They chant her name all the time at shows. I go, are we going to monetize this? She will be fucked up.

What are we doing here? We'll have to get a therapist. You're like, it's been six months. I feel like we can, what's our ROI on this baby? She's about to get past the Gerber baby phase. Like she could do a whole national campaign if you want it. I said, I'm not going to force it if you want it. If she needs a manager, I can probably hook that up. So she's just like a star. But then didn't it solidify that like, if it's your baby or like, if it's in your family, that you're the best thing that's ever happened to this whole world and why aren't people doing something.

Well, I was thinking about it genetically. She's basically my child. Because isn't Dana and I the same? Yeah. I mean, what's the cost? She's half yours. The punted test? The punted square.

The punted square. So isn't he, I mean, I guess me and Dana are different. No, we're the same. You have the same DNA. DNA, right? Yeah. Because he could do it 23. No, we have the same. You have the same DNA. DNA, right? Yeah, because like he could do it 23 and me and it's the same. Yeah. We're figuring this out together.

Hold my hand. So scared right now. So then he hooked up with Jeannie. His wife? His wife. So if I had done it. He didn't just fuck Jeannie, OK? Jeannie is a lovely lady who is his wife.

I love saying like I hooked up with Des and our wedding night. I was like, we hooked up. So they got to get, Lois is genetically my child. Yeah. So she wasn't able to go to my show. Because she has a bed to lie on. Because she's, I was trying to get her into this casino. I was performing at the hard rock and they were like,

you're like, acts over, acts over. She's like, I can't talk. I go, you look like a fucking drunk adult. You're just stumbling and you're gonna keep food in your mouth. She's like, I learned to walk last week. She's like, stop crying all the time. And I was like, look, I'm the talent.

I can get her in. And they're like, I think it's like, you legally can't bring a child into a casino. I'm like, I'll leave her in the green room. And they're like, I'll put her in my purse. Like, hey. She fed. She wasn't able to go. And then, it'm like, I'll leave her in the green room. And they're like, I'll put her in my purse. Like, hey. She fed. She wasn't able to go.

And then, it was like a huge room. It was like 1600 people. Wait, why am I picturing you in like a trench coat on? Like, with the lowest inside of it, just being like, shh. And like sneaking her in, somewhere she has no business peeing. And she's like, ma ma!

Like in a green room. She calls me Hanny. Wow. And whenever she says she gets excited she goes, Hanny! Wait that's so cute. It's so cute but then like the second she has like a poop problem I'm like, oh I'm out. Yeah. Did it make you like want to make her a cousin? Give her a cousin? I don't know. I still don't like I'm still- Cause like leaving? where you like, okay. I've been doing this crowd work in my shows where I ask people like, do you actually like your kids?

Like do you think I should have a baby? Yeah, like I straight up am like, let's just do a test. If you were me, what would you do? I'm a student control group right now. I'll do it based on whatever you guys in Gary and Deanna think. And it's really, some people are like my kids an asshole. Or like I didn't want to have kids, people call their kids assholes a lot.

Wait, that's crazy. Or they'll be like, it just really depends. We're just, we're at this crazy place where I was talking about on burner phone, where like over 50 years ago, like women like, like my Nana, hurt, she wanted to be an artist, she wanted to go into Hollywood,

she had to get married at 18. Right. My mom was the first generation to go to college, and then I'm the first generation that takes it for granted. Yeah. But then it's like, obviously we're gonna have a different view of family that like we don't have to do it immediately. Right. So it's like, then you think is it a cheat code where like you actually never have to? But then that makes me feel so sad and everyone's like, I'm not mad at me.

It's so, this is actually such a serious conversation. So serious. We should not be having it. Let's be honest, me not having kids, it's not like voting where you're like, oh, if I don't vote, it doesn't matter, like voting matters, but having kids like. I don't know why I brought that up.

But having kids like... I don't know why I brought that up. But like having kids not gonna mat like... Like if you do have a kid and I'm making you a pin that says I had a kid today. Because you know when people are like if everyone was like let's not have kids and I guess like as humanity would die or I guess they wouldn't exist. They wouldn't have the chance to die because they wouldn't. But if you, we don't have, you don't have to. No, you definitely don't have to. I think the, what I think of,

which is probably like a little bit selfish, but also like not really, you love your family structure right now. Yeah. But one day that's not going to be your family structure. Yeah. So when you're at the age that your parents are now, what are you gonna do to fill your time?

I saw this late on Instagram who was addressing that. And she was like, when I was sick and stuff, it wasn't my kids who helped me. They moved to other places, they have families. It was my friends. Okay, great point. Hannah, we hate everyone. We can't rely on each other in our 70s

to help each other. But like what do we really need help with? Like bring me to the hospital if I need help. I don't want people in my house helping me. No, I don't need that. But my friend Stephanie, like we've talked about this too and she's brought up like, but what if I just didn't have kids?

And mine, like I know I definitely want them. And she asks me like such honestly, such bitchy questions sometimes. She's like, but tell me the reason why you want to have them. And like if you gave, she was like, I was waiting for you to give me a really selfish reason of like you want an accessory. Like I was like, okay, I'm not a monster.

And you've known me since I was 12 and this seems very pointed. But like, no, I want them because I feel like I would be such a good mom. Like I would make a child's life really great and have a great experience. Like, so I know I want that. I love how Stephanie was like, I never thought that was the reason. That was definitely not the reason. Stephanie was like, please don't procreate whatever you do.

But then sometimes people say like it's selfish to not have kids, but then some people say it's selfish to have kids like, like oh you need to continue your legacy. Well, yeah, I'm stunning I'm not letting this bone structure We've talked about this before sometimes two really good-looking people have the ugliest children I know cuz you know it's so good-looking it becomes alien life Yeah, you ever see like the most gorgeous man and his mom is so not cute and she created the hottest fucking dude ever? That's why my son's gonna be hot.

Something that happened to me in the new year, well really I guess tax season. My mom was going through my expenses and she was like, you pay for a lot of things twice. And ultimately she wasn't calling me stupid, but I feel like it was a little bit implied. And so if you're like me, then you need Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills.

I can see all of my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with a customer service. I absolutely hate that, and I literally, I can't do it. It's against my religion. Rocket Money has over 5 million users

and has helped saved its members in average of $720 a year with over 500 million in canceled subscriptions. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com.gigglysquad. That's rocketmoney.com.gigglysquad. Rocketmoney.com.gigglysquad. Introducing Uber Teen Accounts, an Uber account for your teen with always-on enhanced safety features.

Your teen can request a ride when you can't take them. You'll get real-time notifications along the way. Your teen feels the sense of independence. You can follow their entire route on a live-tracking map. Your teen will get assigned a top-rated driver. You'll get peace of mind. their entire route on a live tracking map. Your teen will get assigned a top rated driver. You'll get peace of mind. Uber Teen Accounts.

Invite your teen to join your Uber account today. Available in select locations. See app for details. Lifelong best friends and comedy superstars May Martin and Sabrina Jaliz share the mic to discuss all things sex and relationships. A hilarious bold and unapologetic conversation on timely topics like parenting, polyamory, money,

and gender. These are conversations you can only have with your best friend. Benefits with friends starring May Martin and Sabrina, Jaliz, listen now on Audible. So anyway, I can't even look at myself in a sight. I look like a ghost. Noah Cyrus, we don't know enough of the drama.

Oh yeah, we're bad about that. We don't know enough about the drama to like have strong opinions. I mean, if he's like, it's just weird. We know the headline though. We know the headline. It's insane. It's insane.

Like, I mean, here's the other thing. Noah's much younger than Miley. Also, Noah. Wait, can you Google how old Noah's Cyrus is? I feel like she's gotta be maybe 23. Also, I get it, maybe of the same sense of humor or like the same perspective in life, I don't know, but Noah and Trish are two different fonts.

Like, they're giving very different energy. How are you attracted to both of that? How is there not a reality show yet for that family? Yeah. They have so much random drama. 24. 24. And the dad's like off being in a shaman somewhere.

Who knows. Is he a shaman? No, I believe he just has long hair. I believe. I believe. And where's- He just has kind of bangs. Kind of has bangs and like, where's a cowboy hat, so he's a shaman and no it's like

Miley really tries to stay out of it, but I wonder how involved Miley is in it. You know what annoys me Remember when like Addison Rae like I was thinking about her and then all of a sudden her parents were just in the fucking headlines for being thirsty and quite frankly Stupid, like this girl has just become for whatever reason for a couple months like an A-list celebrity like everyone knew her she's on the Kardashians doing all these things. Now you don't really hear from her and her parents like put her in the media in such a negative light because they were like out doing bullshit. Well it's a little bit like Miley's working so hard and she's very successful and this probably won't affect her at all but like you work so hard and paying tons of money to publicists and trying to create your career and she just want to fucking Grammy and then it like cheapens the brand.

Right. Like she has a reputation. They're having a full on Jerry Springer like sideshow. Yeah, and it's like, you're... I'm a Grammy winner. No, literally, that's all I would say. I walk in my house now and I'm like, Paris Hilton doesn't vacuum, mom, I'm not vacuum, you know?

Oh my God, I watched this extremely sketchy documentary about like becoming a, is it called like becoming a queen. Is it called like becoming a queen? And it was about like Tinsley Mortimer. Was it on Hulu? Yes. Oh, was it? Did you watch it?

Queenmaker. It's called Queenmaker. About like the New York City like socialite girls. Yes. I didn't watch it, but it was. That's the kind of thing that I just like having on. Like I love, and it's, it was basically how like Paris Hilton and them started the whole like, you're famous and you're not hidden.

Like they basically said New York City royalty, their whole thing was like, we are private. We own the roads, we own the railroads. What do people do? They're like all the aster plays, like all those families were like, you can't have access to us and the Hilton sisters were the first like really famous family that was like,

look at me, because I'm rich and famous. And then there were all these rich, and it's crazy, because like- I love them, people are rich and famous because they're rich and famous. Like I just think I love it. It's fascinating to me. It's fascinating.

Because it's basically like, yeah, because of your name, like people respect you because of what your dad did. Right., because of what like your dad did. Because your mom wasn't allowed to work. And whatever. But I will say like Paris Hilton, of all of those girls that probably are on that documentary, or all of those like socialites that were famous then, she's the only one that built anything from it. And I feel like took her advantages and made like, she could have done nothing. Like she could have fucking chilled.

She's like a billionaire on her own. And she also had other people in the family doing a lot of like random stuff, you know, housewives and stuff, and she's created her own path. I do think. I'm forever a Paris Hilton stand. You have to be. She created us.

No, literally. She birthed us. From her rib. Her rib. So then they bring up Tinsley and like I did not realize, because like I didn't, I wasn't covering the scene at that time. They said Tinsley Mortimer basically was like the it girl of the galaxy. I remember hearing her name like way before Housewives.

That's crazy. So they basically said she came, but she's not like the other New York girls because she's from the South. Southern, yeah. But she played tennis for Columbia. Oh, wow. And she basically got married to some New York City oil guy. And she basically said to the first thing you have to do apparently is get a publicist, which is crazy because like in my head I'm like, oh yeah, you get a publicist when you're like working on something.

And you're promoting something. And you have jobs and yeah. They were getting it just to like be cool. Famous. So the first thing you have to do is get a publicist, which is thousands of dollars a month. And the guy was like, what do you do for a living? And she was working in PR and he's like,

I'm not making a publicist famous, you have to quit your job. Oh my god. But she didn't need the money, so she quits her job. And then they would go to like five parties at night. And they had to change, like fashion week every day. Change in the car, because it was all about Patrick McMullen taking a photo of you at these parties.

And you show up to parties and you don't know why they become obsessed with certain girls. Yeah. And then they talked about how Olivia Palermo showed up and they were trying to pit Olivia Palermo against Tinsley. Like she's the new Ickirl. I loved Olivia Palermo. Because you look like her.

When it was the Hills and everyone was like, Olivia Palermo is such a fucking bitch. She is the worst. I was like, I, she is my Jesus. I fucking loved her. She talks like this. She's just like, I don't really want to be her and I don't like any of you. I'm Olivia Palermo.

Because here's the thing, when I watch reality TV or I watch like celebrities or something, unless I want to be you or be your best friend, I'm not interested in you. So true. So like you have to be in an outfit where I'm like, I need to be you or be your best friend, I'm not interested in you. So true. So like you have to be in an outfit where I'm like, I need to buy that. Or you have to say something where I'm like,

that would be my friend. I do see you in the future consulting future like reality TV girls. No. Can you tell me that on me? Can you tell me that on me? Well, you're basically doing it now, I feel like. But anyway, so Play-Ramon comes in

and then they start their first ever like crazy vlogs. They were ranking the girls. Yes, yes. It was like an internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like Tinsley was number one. Yes. Yeah. And I actually- It was Dumas. Basically.

It was basically Dumas. And I've never watched Gossip Girl. And I think it's because I'm from New York City. Is why you didn't watch it? Is why I didn't watch it because it was like why would I watch a show about like Upper East Side Girls. Which is exactly why I didn't watch it because it was like, why would I watch a show about like, Upper East Side girls? Which is exactly why I watched that. Yeah, and I think if I watched it, I would understand more like the glamour

of people moving to New York City. Yes. Because in my head, I was just like, okay, I'm on the Upper West Side. I guess they're on the Upper East Side. Those like private schools had a whole different like, shtick, but also like- No, I would have never survived that.

They were beyond glamourizing it, but yeah, the money was like insanity. I mean, just the fact that kids would have private drivers to take them to school is insane. Yeah. But then it gets so normalized, cause once you, it's like anything in life, you see it enough and you're like, oh, they have cars.

No, that's so true. It's also kind of sad sometimes, cause things that used to really impress me now I'm like. You don't have a car? Yeah, I'm like, if I can get a car. Oh, you don't have? You don't. Well, Uber Black still impresses you.

True, it does. But anyway, so then that blog gets taken down. OK. Because actually, Livy Pelermo sued the fuck out of them, because they had a fake email going around of Olivia, whatever. So this is like the beginning of almost like, just yeah, the vlogs, the blogs.

So then a new one starts and it's really, it's like a little more positive and it's very like in crowd. Like you can tell it's written by someone who like really knows these people and knows what it's like and it's like very detailed and people are like obsessed with it and the writing's so good. Not to give it away, but they find out that it's...

Sorry, this is a long ass fucking story. I'm trying to pay attention. Sorry, I'm giving you a lead up. I'm adding tension. It's a guy, a guy who goes to school in Illinois and he's like this gay Indian immigrant. Wait and he was doing the internet thing? Yeah and they were like how do you know all this stuff and he goes you just have to Google it. But he was like a weird genius. Oh my god. So like everyone thought it was someone like in the in-cred like it must be

Tinsley's like publicist or like her cousin or her sister. And they probably all blamed each other. They all thought it was Tinsley cause they wrote so much about Tinsley. Oh, Justice for Tinsley. Justice for Tinsley. But it was just... Where's this guy now you think?

I'd love for them to do a reunion with Andy. You know? Just get them all. When Andy comes back from his bender. People are insane. People are so insane. It's also like, here's the other crazy part about like this industry is like, if someone annoys you in real life, you just talk about them to your friend.

You're like, I fucking hate them. People are like calling people magazine and like page, like, like that's terrifying. Yes. Just to say shit about people to like get them for everyone else to hate them. Well, I actually Gray sent us some info about there's a lot going around about gossip. As long as gossip is true, it's healthy

because it's you like understanding social dynamics and you like seeing other people's perspective of the world. And then they said something about. Sorry for putting clues together all jazz. They said that because it's like of the world. And then they said something about... Sorry for putting clues together all day. They said that because it's like a female thing. It's negative. It's negative. And then people were trying to get girls to stop gossiping

because did you watch what it said? They were like, oh, women are talking shit. And they're getting too smart. Oh, so men tried to get women to stop gossiping back in the day because they were sharing information so they would know what's going on. So gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy. No, I'll stand by gossiping until the day that I die.

As long as it's honest and pure. And truthful. And she is a fucking bitch. That can be a fact. And also, yes, you're literally putting things together with other people that have also experienced the same thing. And you're like, wait a minute. And then you're just getting smarter.

And then you have a better tactic. No, for sure. And yes, part of gossiping is understanding, OK, this sounds like it's coming from Biasaurus. Yes. Or like, this person's trying to get me to say something. You can really look inward when you're gossiping. Yes.

Maybe I, there are multiple times where I've said something about someone and I've been like, maybe I don't like her for something else. And I quickly realized, no, she's a fucking wimp. But at some moment I might think inwardly, like maybe it's me. It's so true. And people will be like, you are supposed to talk about, you're not supposed to talk about people, you're supposed to talk about events and ideas. I don't have that many events and ideas to talk about. What are you going to talk about people. You're supposed to talk about events and ideas. I don't have that many events and ideas to talk about.

What are you going to talk about World War II? No. President's Day? No, here's the other thing. OK. It's not because of its information. But also, some of it, I did make up. And I am going to say it to my friend.

And some of it is caddy. And I am going to pick certain things about the future. No, you don't make some up and finish. No, I'm just kidding. But like, yeah, some of it isn't just facts back and forth. Some of it is venting, and that is also really healthy. And if you don't have a- Sometimes we're throwing stuff at the board, you know,

seeing what sticks. If you don't have a person that you can call and be like, this fucking bitch, let me tell you the story of what she did to me. And then you need new friends because that's just like release it. That's good for your body. Well, they say that gossiping helps you connect with people.

Like, you know how certain people you only hang out with to talk about certain things? All my friends. I don't really anyone I've ever met. I have a certain friend that like is friends with one of my exes or like was friends with one my exes and when I sit down We just know it's time to be like how is he doing? What's going on and and like be completely biased and be like it's not going well for him.

I need boots on the ground in Albany. I need the gossip from my hometown. Okay? I need ex-boyfriend Former friends. I need all of their gossip. Yeah, because we're smart. We have our go-to people on what information we need. And that's smart. I'm not going to my friend from college and gossiping with her about my comedy drama. No. Absolutely not.

I love comedy drama. Well, then there is the fresh gossip of being like, look, I'm going to bring a non-biased source in just to tell her the T. That's my favorite position to be in. My favorite position is when someone says, okay, I have to tell you this crazy, the craziest story about people you don't know.

I'm like, hold on, let me get a fucking drink. That's when you know it's gonna be good. And snacks. That's when you know it's gonna be good. Because then you really can be objective. Like you can literally give your friend advice because you're not involved and you're unbiased. And you know what, good friends also know

like what gossip you wanna hear or not. Like I think it's important like if they're trying to get over someone, you're not like, oh, I saw him making out with someone. No, you didn't. Right. You never saw that. Or for me, like I didn't wanna hear some gossip

about like reality TV, for example, like I needed some space. And then once I got comfortable again, I said, I'm right back in it. It's also really good for our brain because we hear something, we have to remember it. And then, you know, so really we're just, we're fighting dementia each day. You're, when you live life, you're supposed to have something happen to you.

And then the fun of it is telling your friends and we're flexing on it. Be like, what just happened to me? Am I insane? No, we're storytellers. Sorry for entertaining. I'll never stop gossiping. You know what was the word gossip again? Cavemen.

The walls? That was gossip. Yeah, they're writing shit down to tell other people. How about mind your business? No one said that to them. No one said. Then he goes to Cavemen and said, the real good people aren't writing on the walls.

Yeah, they didn't say, oh, I figured out fire, but I'm not telling anyone. No, he'd be a dick if he did that Gossiped he told everyone People that don't gossip also you're lame. No, no, but you know they're no friends. They're fucking people don't gossip Yeah, they've known to tell gossip too. It's it sounds like everyone's talking shit about you If you're not if you are not the one gossiping, I'm going to let you in on a secret. You're a fucking asshole. You're the one that gossiping about. And everyone's talking about you. No, if you walk in a room with a bunch of friends and everyone gets quiet. No, literally. If everyone thinks you're an asshole, most likely you are.

That's what you just get in on it. You go, what did I do? What am I doing? Lifelong best friends and comedy superstars Mae Martin and Sabrina Jalees share the mic to discuss all things sex and relationships. A hilarious, bold and unapologetic conversation on timely topics like parenting, polyamory, money and gender. These are conversations you can only have with your best friend. Benefits with friends starring Mae Martin and Sabrina, Jalees, listen now on Audible. Introducing Uber Teen Accounts, an Uber account for your teen with always-on enhanced safety features.

Your teen can request a ride when you can't take them. You'll get real-time notifications along the way. Your teen feels the sense of independence. You can follow their entire route on a live tracking map. Your team will get assigned a top rated driver. You'll get peace of mind. Uber Teen Accounts. Invite your team to join your Uber account today. Available in select locations. See app for details. See ya for details. Since we're here fighting the patriarchy, this is a little bit old,

but I haven't stopped thinking about it. Ryan Gosling is, okay, the whole like drama with the Oscars. I think they didn't literally why the Barbie movie was created. And they were like, fuck you guys. Ryan Gosling performed, what? Sorry. They're having Ryan Gosling perform his song

from Barbie at the Oscars, which like, whatever, fine. I'm annoyed by it because one, everyone's freaking out that that song was so good. That song fucking sucked. First of all, second of all, we don't need him representing Barbie. Why don't you nominate her then? Nominator, if you wanted the Barbie representation.

Wait, look at you getting all worked up for women. Because I hate women. I hate men. I hate women singing. No, I hate men singing. That's what it is. I hate men in the fucking arts. I don't need.

You know what, Craig's going to think of the riff. The next thing you know, him and Austin are going to be like, tap dancing all around the stage. No. I just like, I don't, he doesn't need to. That's the song you picked from the whole Barbie movie. That's the song you picked to be performed. Why?

Why didn't you have Billie Eilish come and sing the iconic Barbie song? Is it because she sang it at other award shows? Who knows? I stopped reading and listening, but like I was just annoyed. They should at least like put Billie on stage with him. Have Billie sing it? No, also like, that's how I was just annoyed. They should at least put Billie on stage with him. Have Billie sing it? No, also, that song was bad. I think that song was a bad song.

That song was like TikTok song. It was like, it was... It's like, okay, we got it, repetitive. It was funny, it was repetitive. And I didn't like the dance number, sorry. I just feel like it's so weird when they show the Mickey Mouse, what was it it called the mint Mickey Mouse Club Mickey Mouse Club? People don't talk about that enough. That's like I think that's my like Britney Spears Ryan

That's my Roman Empire like that they were like Christina Aguilera Who what genius casting director because I've never heard about the Mickey Mouse Club in any other any other groups Except that year right or those two years like who was in any other groups except that year. Right. Or those two years. Like who was in the other years? Clearly no one. So that one year was just like all star weekend. No, literally.

MVP's fucking no-mrundurbing. That's so true because it was around. It was around, I mean Jessica Simpson. I feel like actually that was the last year. Oh maybe they're like, we're never gonna beat this so let's end it here. Like the fact that on stage are five of like, the most A-list celebrities that'll ever be running around

at like 11 years old, and then they like all dated each other too. No, that's so crazy. You didn't watch like, did you watch like One Tree Hill and the OC and like all those shows? Not really. You were playing sports. I was. Other kids, we were sitting at home

and we were watching it. I was. Other kids, we were sitting at home and we were watching it. A girl did a TikTok how like those shows from back then, like first of all, in one season would have like 27 episodes. But because there wasn't social media and these kids weren't like famous, famous, like they were in like a town in North Carolina, like filming the season of the show. So like they only had each other and they were like show. So, like, they only had each other, and they were, like, 16, 17, like,

to hook up with each other. So, like, there was no DM sliding from other shows. The show didn't come out yet, so no one knew they were famous. And they're all good-looking, and spending hours together. And there will just never be that era anymore. I also just have a theory, like, if you do a movie with the hot guy that you're supposed to...

You fall in love with that. Yeah. I did one commercial and I was like, I love this guy. Sydney Sweeney is. They fucked. They fucked. Like, stop. Everyone stop.

Also, like, if you didn't, you wouldn't keep joking about it. You'd be like, guys, this isn't funny. Like, it's not true. She's a fiance. She's fully leaning in and like, this is funny, right? Because we didn't do it. She's a fiance. She's fully leaning in, and like, this is funny, right? Because we didn't do it. She's a whole SNL monologue about it.

We didn't do it, right? We didn't do it. I feel like they're at the point where they're like, if we joke enough, people will think we're joking, even though, like, it's become, but it's also the kind of thing like, I don't give a fuck if her husband produced, or fiance produced it.

Also, why aren't you married to him? Anyway, I don't care if he produced it. The way they look at each other, no. Right. Like, I could look a fifth, no. No. Absolutely, no. I don't care the marketing of no.

To be in front row during the SNL monologue and like doing a joke to it. If like, Dez had to shoot a movie where he was like making out with some hot girl, make out with her, turn puke. Puke immediately after the scene. Like, no! OK, that's so interesting.

Make yourself puke if you saw me see you. I'm trying to think how I would feel. Because when you're acting, like for example, I watched a Priscilla movie, like Jacob Elordi, Hercot, we're in love. I don't care who they are. I'd have to stop, be like, is this real? Is that real? I think we have a good-nice show.

Think of the mindset, you have to pretend you're in love with someone, and then you're physically making out with them, and then all day you're spending time with them, and then you're also doing this project together. You're in love. Yeah, and you're doing, you're doing your craft. Like, you're thinking you guys like-

Actors are just people that need to cheat. And it's the only career that they can socially acceptably cheat. They're just horny motherfuckers. No, because I feel, no, I think it's the ego part of it. Yeah. Like, and it's the fame part of it, not so much the acting part.

I did, I dated one guy who like, made out with a girl in a- I've never dated an actor and gotten cheated on a thousand times. So like there's also no rhyme or reason. No he didn't and it was, no. Like I was like, no. He was acting and you didn't like it? No he was acting but like I didn't like-

Oh he had a make out with someone you didn't like it. And they did like multiple takes. Yeah, where were you? She was model. No, he didn't like it. And they did like multiple takes. Yeah, where were you on the show? No, he told me about it. And I was like, and I lit, but I was at the time I was young. So I was like, uh-huh. Yeah.

And then my head was getting hot. Like, you know when you can feel your head getting hot and you just get talky about it? Well, because he was the other thing. He was like poking you. Yeah, there's also a way to say to your girlfriend, I was like, oh. Hey, I had to film this scene.

Yeah. And she also was like model. Well I mean I'm a model too but like she was like. She's a fake model. You're a model. You're a model citizen. Okay, she probably has a coke problem. You know when you bring up something like your gels or something, so you bring something up but then he over defends it?

Like you know when he's like no you're the hottest, you're the best. Like there's a way that he has to be like, or if he's like, no, she's disgusting, ew. Like I don't trust either of those reactions. You need him to be like very in between where he's just like, she's- What are you telling me? Like what are you talking about?

Yeah, no, I know. I can see you. Oh God. Oh, Lord, Lord. Wait, Priscilla was sad. Sad. If you're in a place where you want to date someone famous, like you're like, oh, it'd be so fun if I went on Raya and I met a famous guy, watch Priscilla. No, no, literally.

Watch Priscilla. Priscilla was such an amazing example of be careful what you wish for. But what a fucked up story. I know you talked about it briefly, but like imagine you're a 14 year old girl. Yeah, that's the part that's actually annoying me about it. No movie is doing like the deep dive into what was going on with her parents just being like, yeah, you can go live with this fucking guy. I know, but it's like, it's Elvis. And he had like a whole team around him of like a grandma and like, yeah, you can go live with this fucking guy. I know, but it's Elvis.

And he had a whole team around him of a grandma and she was probably getting so much money. But she was 14. Well, that's, yeah, someone was like, that movie was trying to make him look like a groomer. I'm like, that was just a fact. I know. That's a gossiping fact.

She was 14, he was in his 30s. She was gossiping. But this is my thing. Imagine you're a 14-year-old. know like crazy things happen in life, but like I don't think No keep going yeah, and you're just sitting there and someone's like they knew she was American and like Elvis was missing America or something That was what they're saying and they were like Elvis wants you to come to the party cheese And I showed the party. I thought they would show her and him at some like insane And then when they showed the party, I thought they would show her and him

at some like insane connection or like there was this incredible chemistry, but like she just sat there and he just like talked at her and then he was like, can you come back tomorrow? Here's the other thing. And she was like, okay. Sorry, cause Elvis is dead, R.A.P. But you're disgusting.

That's disgusting. No, that's crazy. But even in the mood, then like he obviously, then he wasn't hooking, he wasn't having sex with her because I think he knew, oh, he probably did. A hundred percent they were. What, then so what he had. They were with her because I think he knew, oh he probably did. 100% they were. They were trying to make it like he waited, but he was hooking up with other girls. There's no way.

Anyway, long story short, don't date famous men, but she got out of it. I'm proud of her. Well, he died. But she divorced him before he died. Did she? Yeah, she got out. She was like, I don't want to be with you anymore. But he also was like pills and crazy.

And how sad like their daughter died? Oh, oh yeah. I didn't do the like read up after. Okay, her, his granddaughter is Daisy Jones and the sex. Which? Main girl. They really try to hide that. Riley Co.

Because there was a lot of drama. She was fighting with Priscilla over like the estate. Because she's the heir. And they gave it to her because she is. Priscilla? No, the granddaughter. Because it goes genetically. It went to her mom.

And then her mom died. So it goes to her. So what's going on with Priscilla right now? I don't know. I think they fight. So is it Riley Coe? Is that her name Coe? I think so.

But she was so good in that show. I'm a big fan of hers. Yeah, it's funny, people don't talk about her enough in the Nepo Baby discussion. They don't. And like she's a huge Nepo baby. Her publicist is really good at keeping on the DL. And I think it's so smart because she is a good actress.

Like I liked her. And you know what's crazy? She looks like Elvis. Yeah, she does. Like if you didn't know, you wouldn't think anything. No, but then when you say it, you are Elvis. Like in an attractive way. Also, let's be honest, if we were that girl,

all of us would have done the same thing. 100%. I was like, run, go hang out with Elvis. 100%. But it's also like, then you literally got trapped in a marriage or a relationship. But like a mansion. And it is that like power dynamic

where everything is on his terms. Look, this has happened to me in relationships before when I was younger too, where like, you know the scenes where it's like the boys are hanging out and you're just there and you can't be yourself and like you have to play the token girl that they're projecting onto you.

Cause God forbid you say something like out of line like no one would and you just have to become a mouse. And I've been in the relationship where I'm like a mouse for like a year and I'm just like, oh, we're going to your friend's this. This is so sad, but I feel like you've probably done it too. Have you ever been in a situation? Where you've no idea what they're talking about

and you're just laughing? No, where like, you can't really talk because you've been like scorned or like whatever. You're just like, okay, I'll just be quiet because everyone sucks here. And like they're having a conversation in your head. You would have had a great joke to go with that conversation, but these idiots wouldn't have even gotten it.

So you're just like in your own head, you're like, I have a great fucking line to like say right now, but you can't even use it. What happens to me to this day is you say it, the guy next to you hears it, and he doesn't mean to repeat it, but he just says it and louder, and then everyone starts dying laughing,

and you're an idiot if you go, I said that, because they're like, we're not keeping track, but you're like I just want credit where credit is do like no I feel like I've beaten Craig down so much that he wouldn't even think to do that No, this lit it up in two weeks ago with a group of guys. I was like are you fucking kidding me? No! And the guy didn't mean it, he just I said it and he laughed saying it and then everyone roared And I'm like is my voice white noise? Or do you guys just have selective hearing? There are so many times where I've been in situations

like that and then I'll call my brother and I'll be like, let me set the scene for you. And I'm like, and I would have said, is that funny? And he was like, that would be funny. See, the way me and you were different is I have to say it. Like this apartment, but it won't work and people will be like, okay.

Hannah's added again. No. Hannah's at it again. No, I once had a boyfriend. This was one of the hardest moments of my life. He, no it wasn't, but it was difficult. He, we were hanging out with kind of important, cool people and I was trying to perform, be my best. And then we got back in the cab and he said, you were really confident back there, in a mean way.

And I was like, okay, I'll shut up for the rest of my life. Because you know that what I was doing, I think I walked in like to the most important person, like made a little like joke. And I was just like, I was like, I belong. You were like, I was like, I belong here. You know what? He wanted me to be intimidated by him as important friends.

And I walked in there and I like, he wanted me to be intimidated by him as important friends and I walked in there and I like immediately started wagging someone. I'm stealing that from whatever narcissistic psychopath said that that's a great insult, like a low key insult. That was the most, I couldn't recover after that. No, that's not a bollocks. If someone said that to me, I'd think about that for the next fucking five days.

Which are the- After two months I broke up with him because I couldn't eat for the next two months. Those are my favorite insults where you're just like five days later. You're like so many layers What did they mean by that? There were so many layers like what did he mean? No, my brother's really good at that whole insult me and then four days later. I'm like, what the fuck? Was the intent on that one?

My brother went to my show in Gary, Indiana And it was funny because you can't really see, but you can kinda see. And sometimes I'll choose to like, I don't wanna know where people are in the crowd. So I'll just be like, don't even try. But then like 20 minutes in, I was like, I wonder if I can see my brother.

Yeah, I could you. And I'm at the point where I'm, you know when you drive somewhere and then you just get there, you don't know how you got there. Yeah. Cause I'm doing the jokes so often, I will do that with my jokes.

We're like, I will start thinking of other things. And I'll be like, how do I get to them, this joke? Did I say it? Did I even say it? Are we okay? So I find him, and then it was during one of the dirtiest parts of my set, and I was in my head, and I kept,

I was like my brothers, I literally go, I just saw my brother after a quiff joke, and everyone started dying laughing, but he was so supportive and cute, and I'm just so proud of him, that he was able to come see me. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. We love our brothers. We're so happy that they-

They get to be related to us. Yeah, that they made it in our family as a sibling of us. You wrote, Sick of Shopping Online. I'm sick of it. Paige. I know. Paige. I'm so sick of shopping online, and I'm sick of it. Pitch. I know. Pitch.

I'm so sick of shopping online and I'm ready to go to a store. Like the other day I needed something and I was like, oh, but I don't have time to order it. And my mom was like, why don't you just go like find an outfit in a store? Well, yeah, you were like, oh, I'm going to Nordstrom or Saqs or something. I literally went to Saqs all day like two Sundays ago.

And you had fun? Well, I don't think fun was the word. It's work for you. Because they had no clothes, but that's the other thing, they had no clothes. Like I had one option. I was like, where are all the clothes? Like, the one guy had Saks,

I actually think like I insulted him because I was like, oh, like where is, you're not bad to sound like such a fucking little bitch. I was like, where's the Jack Moose section? Okay. And he was like, it's the Jack Moose section? Okay. And he was like, it's this rack right here. And I literally audibly gasped. I go, this is all you have.

You're like, that's a mannequin. I was like, where are the rest of the clothes? And he was like, ma'am, we're in between seasons and we haven't gotten our shipments in. And I was like, oh, well. Don't call me ma'am. I was like, this is Saks. We're in New York City, don't call me ma'am.

Yeah, I was like, but we're in Saks in New York City. And like, so I'm like, this is sacks. We're in New York City, don't call me ma'am. Yeah, I was like, but we're in sacks in New York City. And like, so I'm just, I'm ready to go back into the stores. I was never good at shopping online, but I just accepted it. Cause I'm also in between sizes. That's my thing. Sometimes I'm a certain size in other brands,

and then if it's not stretching material, the jeans won't work. No, I'll fuck you through 10 pounds in a month. Like, I don't get it. So like, that's where I fuck up. And then, yeah, it looks weird on my long tour, so whatever. I just fuck it up and then I get too lazy if it's cheap.

It's like, am I gonna go to Zara? Like, I don't know. Dude, I haven't bought something from Zara in like... Is Zara, are you Kylie Jenner Snapchatting Zara right now? No, I love Zara. But I think as I've grown, I've been like spending more money

on like certain clothing items that I'm like, okay, well I'm just gonna wear that for the rest of my life. Yeah, like investing in good stuff. Yeah, and like, I don't know. I've been like just doing things in my own closet. I'm just like really into thrusting. Just really into making my own clothes and cardboard boxes. I'm really into Amifting. I'm just really into making my own clothes out of cardboard boxes. I'm really into Amish dress wear right now.

No, I love the Amish. I was waiting for an Amish person to DM us, but. You also said the right side is your good side. I realized, you guys let me. I was sitting somewhere and someone was like, oh, what side is your good side? And I was like, oh, my right side. And then I was like, it's actually not.

My left side is my good side. It's no one's good side. But your good side is your left side. And then I was sitting there and I was like, why did I think my good side was my right side? And then I was like, Hannah Burner, fucking gas lit me because. I didn't gas light.

I said that you look great on both sides and I only look good on the left side. And I think that's how I got the left side. Okay, so you sympathize gaslight meme. You made me feel bad for you. I'm a monster on the right side and you're a normal human being on the right side. And so I was just like sitting there

and I was like, I don't know what my good side is. Cause my friend told me that it was her right side, but I think she did it only because her left side is her good side. I love, you know what happened? I don't think I told you. I think somehow you just like. I just started standing on the right.

You just started standing on the right and then you like thought, well this is my good side. So it's not. I don't think so. I just, I think that both sides are good with you. But now I'm in it and I'm on the right show you would know if you have a monster side Like that's how I learned my side was bad. I was like, oh this whole scene Yeah, who is she and then they were sure the other side. Oh So thank you for letting me have my side I've had a couple interviews though

Where if I'm not on the right side, you know it's cause the other person asked and I was like nice and I went, okay, oh my God, who would dare do that to you? Certain people, but they didn't mean it, they didn't know. But I'll say like, do you have a side? Oh, you're just being nice. You don't offer your side.

And then they say, they go this side and they go, I go, fuck. But I'll, you do it to yourself. I'll stand, you know what, I'll stand where I want to be and then I can tell when they want to be on my side and I go, oh, do you have a side? That's, you're an evil genius. But like-

Do you have a side? I'll tell you where you're side is. I think there's a theory that everyone's left side is better because it's naturally the more feminine side. Well, I like this eyebrow better. I do too, I like this eyebrow better too. My right side really is so fucking wonky, but. But you know what, I also can do straight on,

so sometimes I'll awkwardly be straight on and the other person's turned to me, but I'm like, I need a show. Do you know when you see on Fashion Week, like videos of girls trying to take photos and you could tell when someone has a side, because she just came to the right. I'm literally on the left side,

but with my head like this, it's like what? Their head spins fully around to be to the right. I'm literally on the left side, but with my head like this, it's like what? Their head spins fully around to be on the right side. Oh my god, but then what's annoying is everyone will be like, no Hannah, your right side looks great. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Only you know your good side. Anyway.

And that's all the time we have for today. That's all the time we have for today. We love you guys so much. Subscribe to our newsletter. People go, Hannah, Paige, I thought it was a bit. It's not like the link in our bio. But then there are other people that like live and die by the newsletter.

And honestly, sometimes I go in because I love to know what you put in the same section. Oh, I always go in to see what you put. And sometimes we really, it really works. No, sometimes we're so cohesive. I don't know how we do that. We didn't even talk about your sweater, did I? I purposely was avoiding it.

And that's all our time. Thank you guys so much. Love you. We'll get good with you later. Bye.