Giggly Squad - Giggling about Hannah's Bachelorette, espresso martinis, and fake pradas

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

We've returned from a 3 day bachelorette binge fest and we are ready to spill the espresso martinis. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is up my gigglerettes? Yeah! I know you're wondering. Are we okay? We're not. We're not. We're not. We're not okay. But we're about to walk you through everything

that happened on my Batcharat party. I know we said we're on YouTube and we are. However, we couldn't get it together today. Oh, we could. Like, there was just in no situation, we were going to be able to figure it out. Like, I, like in no situation, we were gonna be able to figure it out. Like, I, like, we're just gonna... It's a miracle we're here today to tell the tale.

Okay. Okay. Honestly. Honestly, everything crazy that could have happened happened except like the police ever being involved, which is, which is nice. Someone paid someone off. nice. Someone paid someone off. Yeah.

Someone paid someone. We wreaked havoc. Honestly, in the Uber to the airport, I said, I think I'm good on Miami for like six months. So I... There was not a stone left unturned. No, like Miami, we apologize, but we will not be back anytime soon. And I had no expectations for this weekend.

I mean, I'd been talking about it on the pod, getting people hyped up, but when you get 10 girls together, you don't know what's going to happen. I'm going to be totally honest. Uh-oh. This is me being completely truthful. On my way to the airport Friday morning, I was like, damn, this might potentially suck. Like, what if we all just don't vibe the same way? What if we're on different pages in terms of going out?

I was like, shoot, I better just prepare for it to like, be okay. I realize 75% of the episodes at Giggly Squad are us talking about how we don't like being in big groups. And I was like, oh, I've made a really big mistake. I also, I've been pretty good with my anxiety where I could have stressed out, but I just went in like, being the moment, because if you worry, there could be so many things that could go wrong on this bad side. Also, not everyone knew each other. Like, this was a true bachelor at where you had friends from different paths in your

lives, in your life to come together. And I would say I only really knew Sierra and Haley. And everybody else, like, I know in terms of being like, hey, how are you? Like, oh my god, great, god, great to run into you, but I don't know any of mine. And Paige, we have some PTSD. Like, we've had some bad dinners in our life. Yeah, we have.

Yeah. And, or, where's then like a fight at dinner? Is those dinners where everyone is like, the weather in Miami is like really good? Yeah, like just so awkward. Yeah, so awkward. So let's talk let's talk about the characters Let's first show the characters first up. We have Ashley and Reina from the podcast girls got to eat

Some would say they're a rival pod enemies close No, they're actually like mentors and very special people in my life, but you never met them. I had never, I had never met them. I, no, I think I had met Ashley like briefly one night, but like I, I didn't know Reina, we, immaculate vibes all around. Like it was like we had been friends when we sat down to that first dinner Yes, then we have my friend Haley who I met on an elevator and then introduced her to my roommate and they're now getting married

Who is just like that ray of sunshine so annoying like you'll wake up But she's like the birds are chirping. But you need that. She's so She's so pure and wholesome and she sings musicals and she is a preschool teacher, but let me tell you when that girl gets at a strip club. She is. I'm different. Okay, then we have Sierra. We have Sierra.

We all know. We love her. She loves a good we all know, we love her. She loves a good party. She put 100% into it. Was ready to go all out. And we were still on the adrenaline from our previous podcast that we talked on top of each other the entire time in the best way possible.

Okay, then we have Taylor Strecker, who's the reason I'm even in radio, who is, if you don't listen to Taylor Strecker, who is the reason I'm even in radio, who is, if you don't listen to Taylor Strecker, she was like a star at Serious XM, was married to this rich guy. They got divorced. Now she just married a woman. So she's... I am so in love with her. Like I...

She was like, I think that's what she's classy. I was like, I think she's so classy. She's so, she just gives off like rich classy vibes. At one point during the weekend, I was like, I think this was a lesbian trip and I think that I'm going home a lesbian. I think we all were at least by by the end. We absolutely were. Then we have Michelle, Cheech's Ville. I love how I'm doing full names, just call her a bloke. We call her Cheech and she is the director. She, everyone had kind of role. She was making sure the reservations were right.

She was getting people's faces if there was a problem. She was making sure everything went seamlessly. Yes. We can one not have been possible without Cheech. Cheech was the glue that kept it together, but also was like keeping an eye on everyone to make sure we were all OK. Remember on Saturday when we were all dying a slow death

and she had like moved the reservation like two hours and the group chat lost their minds? They were like, fuck yeah, cheek for president. She goes reservations move from seven to 10. And we're like, thank the Lord. Then we had my manager there, just in case. Just in case. It's about, it's business.

We're doing business too. While we're drunk, you never know when business, a deal might need to be done. I think I bought a strip club. I think that's the one. She took 5% I'm pretty sure. And then finally, the star. The badgler at.

Becca Bailey, my best friend from college. She was on the tennis team with me. She wasn't going to be able to come. Last second, she's like, I'm there. And let's just say she was the party. She was the party. I knew I was gonna like her from the moment I met her because she looked at me and she goes, what do you have an ice-loosh competition after this? Why would you wear a onesie to the air? And I was like, nice to meet you. I'm paid. And it was great to meet like my current best friend and my best friend of like eight years.

Because after college I made a move to New York with me. Then she left to go to Arkansas, but you're both like the best sense of humor ever except she is the most tomboy you can get and you are the most girly you can get. Dude, I, she said to me at the end, she was like, I was like, how did Hannah describe me? And she was like, she described you as like the girliest girl in the world who just giggles at everything. Started immediately laughing. She was like, and it's true. And there, I've never gotten more joy than seeing friends get along. Actually, the first night there was a moment where everyone at Swan was talking to each other, except for me.

Yeah, I, yeah. People forgot I was there. And for a second, I was like, so happy. And then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. I started cursing everyone out, being like, no, you guys shouldn't be fucking talking to each other. I'm here. So anyway, let's begin getting to my Annie was havoc. Yeah pure havoc. There was a thunderstorm flights were delayed. I was in the air for five hours

It was just it was in our plane couldn't land and that was like if it didn't start with some drama This wouldn't be my batch right so so people were like we were just waiting for people to fly through a thunderstorm to get to me and we were like hope we see them soon. As I went down to text from them and we're like no, they're still in the air. Don't worry, they're circling. That was the theme. It was like no, they're still in the air. So people were trickling in between like one and six PM.

Yep. And let's discuss the room situation. This is literally an episode of a reality TV show. So I got upgraded to the king room. Yes. And I assumed the king room had two beds for me, Haley and Beckett to stay. It didn't. And it was tiny.

And the good time hotel is beautiful. Stunning. It and the good time hotel is beautiful stunning It's the good time hotels actually the perfect hotel for a bachelor at party. Why do you think it? Stetically it's perfect. It's in a great location It's fun. It's girly. There's no kids the pool is great. It's amazing. They have two pools. There's not too many annoying people. It's a lot of just like girls on a big screen.

It's very comfortable. Yes, it's a lot of like girls' drinks. There's not like crazy men. And it's not like two women. At all. Couples being annoying. It's all like girls. I feel like what you do.

It's not like a pretentious Miami hotel. It was very like everyone's staying there was all friends from college and needed a weekend to get fucked up. And it wasn't too gross. Like we all, it seemed like everyone had had HPV before but we don't currently have committee at D&D. Do you know what I mean? Like we had grown up a little bit but if we brought us back we are all still horrors. Yes. So and the overall theme was Hootie. Yes.

Which was the theme and somehow everyone nailed it in their own way. So everyone was kind of coming to my room saying hi. Then Page and Sierra come in and I'm a little nervous as you know, Page cares about hotels and I knew that if she didn't like it, she'd be like, oh, I'm going to go stay at the W downtown. I might see you tonight, I might not. So what happened with the room page? So Sierra and I walked into our room

and it was one full bed that we had to share and it was just like a hallway, like there. And as I'm checking in, I was like, also can you send up like an extra clothing rack and oh, I also need a sneep, a steamer and are there two robes in the room? Like, I'm asking all these things. I walk into the room, I open the door, I turn and look at Sierra and I say, no. And she goes, no. So I call downstairs, I get us upgraded. You know I'm getting my makeup done in a windowsill in that moment. I walk into our

Insanely huge room with two beds a makeup makeup nook, a full closet. A sauna. I look at Sierra and I go, we really should offer this to Hannah. And somehow magically my bags became unpacked and I don't know. I just envision you guys being like, we should. And then you start going under the covers and you're like, we should. And Sierra starts giving her makeup and she's like, we definitely should. And then I see, you know, it was time for covers and you're like, we should. And see our starts getting her makeup and she's like, we definitely should. And then I see, you know, it was time for dinner and you're like, we should. I was like, here's the plan.

Just don't tell anyone what our room number is and they'll never find us. But the good news is your room became the hub for after partying. Yeah, which is great. We needed like one room that like everyone fit. And honestly, I would say Sunday night when we all put our juicy sweatsuits on and went into our room and played games till 5am was my favorite thing. It truly was.

And I have to say, Paige got me the most awesome gift. I think it was because she wanted to make sure she didn't look better than me the entire time in an embarrassing way. She got my hair and makeup by this incredible makeup artist Julia, Rita, Rita and Dara, oh, she's Brazilian, living in Miami. She does New York sometimes too, and she did all my looks every night. That was a, that was a must.

Because the last thing you want to do when you're hungover is put a blow dryer to your head. Oh my gosh. It's like from the pool. Yeah, you're just like, I know I would have been like, you know, just thrown a sweatshirt. Yeah, you would have been like, I know that's what you were going to do. You're going to be like, whatever. It's like wavy from last night. It's fine.

And I put it in the back. I was going to wave in the back. Yeah, and like, I couldn't have that. We also had, okay, literally we made one hype video from Giggly Squad and now every event we do, we have a hype video person. We have to have a hype video person. We had full photography. We had full photography.

Amazing photographer, a freak Armando who followed us everywhere. I can't wait for the photos to come out. So first night, if you're planning your bachelor at this, what we did, dinner at Swan, the weather was immaculate because it had just rained. And it wasn't that busy because I feel like people at work at Saiders, people with their family. Because it was a fully holiday, a fully weekend

that we set up. Our lady is just were freed a party. Two holidays and one weekend in hand was like, this is a great time to have a voucher at. Well, I was wondering everyone was free that weekend. I really know, it's cause everyone's supposed to be with their loving family. And instead, we partied with our butthole showing

the whole time, sorry, mom. No, I literally felt like we were in four Christmas's and everyone's like going home for Easter and we're like, we are going to help orphans. Yeah, this is a quick trip to praise the Lord. We are missionaries for tequila. This is the tequila missionary mission and job rule is our leader. We said Haley looked like a girl that would be married to someone who owned a

mega-chirp. Technically we did pray. When Haley would be so good as the wife of a witch. Yes. But the pastors get so famous that I'm like, did the Lord want this for you? Did the Lord choose you as the Justin Bieber of the mega church? Hayley's literally married to Joel Olstein So we get there and that's when everyone starts getting along and Talking and we all kind of know We have to have a spread some our teenies because because the most ratchet night is upon us. We were going to head to 11. We did it. We did it. We didn't even plan

to have our hardest night be Friday, but I kind of feel like that's the trick. Yes, you're tired for the next day, but you have bonded so quickly and so hard if your drunken night is the first night. And I do that anyway because I get too excited to go anywhere, so like, I always, my hardest night always is the first night

because I'm so pumped. You have to use the adrenaline to your advantage. First night go the hardest. And I hate admin. I hate admin, so it was my literal dream to like purposely, the bride is not supposed to be involved in anything, so I just kind of showed up. Page got us the sickest table in the whole club.

It was sick. And I feel like in the past you've had guys get tables for you, and Page had a full rich man moment where like there were men trying to come up to our table who were getting clothes blown by bodyguards, like, floor and clothesline and all the strippers were all around us and it was like, no, toxic masculinity allowed! I had literally sat at that table before, yes, with a group of guys and been like, this is the sickest table in the club.

So I knew exactly what table I wanted to be at. And the feeling of looking at a bouncer and just shaking your head, and him calmly going up to a group of five men and being like, they're not interested, was everything I needed in my entire life. And the super loved us the most, because we were like, we were there to have fun with them.

And we're like, it's girls night out, let's go. I saw multiple men, you know when they kind of see you, and they start doing the drunk walk towards you, and you're like, Jesus, oh my God. And we would just give like a subtle no. Yeah. That man I believe, I've never seen him again.

I don't know where he went but he's never been seen again. Honestly I feel like we just naturally put out vibes that was like we're not trying to fuck with you guys. Like we're here to have fun with our girlfriends and laugh and it was oh my god it was so good. Okay so then we're partying all night, partying all night and all of a sudden we're like, okay, it's like 3.30, almost 4 o'clock. We could probably like shut it down, go back to the hotel. Someone comes over on the microphone

and it's like, jaw rule is in the house. We all, and I was like, this is exciting, I love jaw. But I thought jaw rule was just partying. We all stop, look at each other. All this that and Ja Rule is on the main stage and we we lost it We absolutely lost our minds we stayed for another like two hours Ja Rule performed a full like six song concert And he was so close to us and I have to tell you I think he was amazing I can't tell if I was blackout or he was just an amazing performer. He could afford it on stage the whole time and I'd be like that man deserves a Grammy. No I think he actually was really good because he was having

so much fun. I feel like also he was locking eyes with Sierra. I'm not gonna lie because I thought he was dating Sierra. He kept looking over at our table, and Sierra was up on the arm of the table. She was the highest point of the table. And she was singing every word. Every word. I remember after the fourth song, I was like, always on time. Do always on time.

And then it was acting. And then he did it, and I straight up like my heart went through my butthole I lost it I think that's when I I lost my voice the first night guys like this is me recovering and I do have to admit to people I actually didn't tell this to does I was trying to pretend that I like could handle my alcohol there was a girl next to me who kept pouring vodka into my mouth, and I didn't want to be embarrassing, you know, and like, the table next to us, yeah.

Yeah, when someone's pouring something in your mouth and you pull away, it gives me the egg. You don't want to be the loser at the club. Yeah, but you know, there's a thing with particularly vodka that if I go too much, my whole body feels dizzy. My stomach feels upside down and I remember I didn't immediately puke it up but I was like, Becca, can you come to the bathroom with me? And I was like, I think I'm gonna puke.

I did a full college bar knees on the tile, head in the toilet. I heaved like six or seven times, and then I was like, she's a new woman. And I went right back in, kiss the era on the mouth. And we had a great time. I didn't even know you. Honestly, you did that so smoothly. Suddenly, like no one knew you were even gone from the table, no one knew you vomited your brains out, like you kept going and then we went back to the hotel.

Well, me and I think it was who's I with? Oh, it was you back in Haley. Yeah. We back in Haley, we're like, okay, we're leaving. Like, nothing's gonna top jaw rule. And that's how I do my night. Like, one something happens that's untoppable, we're out. And you see our give each other

Notty look and they're like we're staying they left like 20 minutes later You guys literally walked away from the table and I was like was it stupid to not go with them and she's like yeah, and I was like okay I got a moober so But a bunch of the girls missed the job rule concert so we had to Kind of in their faces as one does. Next day, 10 a.m. Haley with you know sunshine coming out of her vagina was like it's time to go to the pool. I mean so she got me up and I went

in the pool didn't see you that day. I, nope, nope, I wasn't on around that day. I had to sleep. I had to sleep. I don't think I woke up until 2 p.m. that day, and I was like, what am I gonna go to the pool for two hours? Late in bed, had a reset moment, got ready for round two. What did you think about the first night though of fashion, the feathers?

Did you like it? I loved it. I feel like everyone did it in their own way. It wasn't like we walked in a bunch of birds. We walked in and it was a thing. It was a moment. Everyone knew we were together, but it was just fun. Yeah, it wasn't in your face.

And then there was a very funny meme going around in the bravo accounts of Meredith Marks upset at the reunion in her feather jacket being like me from home watching Hannah's first night of the Batchadre and it made me laugh so fucking hard. Yeah, that was a good one. I did feel like everyone's eyes were on us but it kind of is what drove me. We did meet some gigglers at the club. Do you guys like that? I mean, the gigglers are rampant.

The gigglers are everywhere, but it really did drive me to be like, you need to push yourself farther, than you've ever pushed yourself before. This is the most I've ever seen you party. I had a different level of energy, I think, because I had all my favorite people around me. No, I think it was because the weekend was about you. So you were like, this is, I'm the center of attention.

I have nothing to worry about. Like if this was someone else's batch of at party, you would have been like, this is, I'm the center of attention. I have nothing to worry about. Like, if this was someone else's bachelor at party, you would have been like, I gotta go home. Like, I'm like, dead, I drink so much. But you were like, hello, like, are we staying out? Like, any rap song would go when I'd be like, this is my favorite song. No, no, no.

But I also realized, not once did anyone give a speech about me. No. Which kind of fucked up am I right? Wait, no. I think someone did on Friday night, didn't I? We did like a subtle thing, but like, you know, I've some bachelor parties they make you like go around and say everything you love about her. Yeah. I just think we were too drunk.

We're also like not that type of friend. Like we're not like okay if some of you may not know me but I'm the maid of honor. No you wouldn't have gone around and be like let's say the stupidest shit has ever done. No but I did love that like yeah. I back at did tell a story about the time you were in college and you got a concussion in the middle of the night because you dove into the wall. Yeah, I did jump into a wall because I fell as jumping on the bed.

And then I couldn't play the entire tournament. And they had to just put me in a van because the lights were bad for your concussion. So I sat in a van for three days because I chucked myself into a wall. And then I was like, can we sue the hotel? And they were like, did the wall move? And I was like, no.

And they were like, you're just stupid. Stupid. OK, I love Beck is just throwing stories out there. I love Beck up. Beck up literally is Melissa McCarthy. Like she literally is. She was telling us what story was she telling? And it was literally Melissa McCarthy in bright days.

She had diarrhea on the subway. And use an umbrella to block people watching and have no one in New York City cared. Everyone just walked past her while she was having like just go. I just getting pictures. Her saying like, I realize now that nine dogs is a lot. And I,

I think. So Becca was the funniest person on the tennis team in college and we became frickin' frack. And she, I just laughed all through college. And like, she moved back to Arkansas and she's like living her life and I just was like, hey, can we do this shit one more time?

And she was ready to go. So this night, the second night was Disco Cowgirl. Yeah, or Space Cowgirl. We didn't know. One more thing about you and back up. Never in my life did I expect to like meet one of your friends and you be like the girly one in the friendship. Like it was truly so I should page.

I'm the page in that friendship. We are. You're like Becca, is that what you're wearing? And I looked at you and I was just like, oh my god. She would literally be like, Hannah, are you still texting boys? Come on. Okay.

Okay, so night to this go space cow girl. Yeah, this goes space cow girl. We don't really know. We just wanted to wear like sequence and glitter and like a couple hats that we all lost. We are. Oh, that's when I go, guys, going on a boat and people were not that excited They were like okay, it's a boat you guys made me move it from like to all the way to like

Five yeah, so we all were just at the pool chillin and then I was like we're going to I knew something was a miss that when we pulled up to the Marina there was a golf cart to take us to the boat. I was like this is some rich people shit right here. I feel like you have rich rich girl senses where you can tell when there's like a legal type of money going on. I have a third eye for really rich exclusive things and when I saw that golf cart pull up I said oh this is gonna be a night. My mom was so funny she goes oh page belonged. Like you were like we don't do anything. I was I love all boats. I'm from Brooklyn. If there was a kayak I would have been like booooooooh cool. So we get there and the girls send us a text like okay it's basically like

a pontoon the shit is gross so I neither are fucking with me a little guys I don't know how I pulled it off I don't either after the whole time I thought that they were gonna come on and be like we made a mistake but you on the wrong boat we have to get you off of here so there's this new dating app called Shake that's launching and they must be the sickest app ever because they basically were like, hey, like we're launching this app. Do you want to like party on the boat? And I was like, absolutely. They booked us a mega yacht. I mean, it was how many floors? Three. Four. Four. It was four floors. To get to it, we were doing the golf court. And Marcelllo was like, oh, it's at the

end. That's how you know she's a big mama. Yeah. She's a big dog. At the end of the dock, we get on full bar, full snacks. Hot tub on top. But it was one of those where we didn't, you don't know what to do because you're basically just in a house. Yeah. And we all kind of sat there the first hour, like like what are you supposed to do in a mega yet? I do argue like we were upper deck. If we were below deck like just on a janky boat, we would have gotten like a strong crazy. Yeah. We all kind of were like we became like rich wives. No, we literally be in that moment. We were celebrating your third bachelor at party. Like we had done it. We'd seen it. We'd murdered two husbands. Yeah. All the alimony. And we were celebrating your third bachelor at party. Like we had done it, we'd seen it.

We'd murdered two husbands, all the alimony, and we were just enjoying the breeze on our mega yacht. It was our life insurance yacht that we had purchased because our husbands died. But then at one point I couldn't find Paige. We were all were sending out the top. I couldn't find her. And then someone goes there she is. And she's two floors down at the tip at the top. I couldn't find her and then someone goes there she is and

She's two floors down at the tip of the ship. Don't even know what that's called Sitting on the edge with her hair blowing in the breeze and my photographer Doing a full photo shoot with her Every place we went my first thing I said to the photographer was, I have ideas about locations here. Well, also, you would be distracted the first 10 minutes, and now I realize you were location scouting in your head. Because then you'd just get up and walk away with him for, I don't know, 45 minutes.

I wouldn't say anything, I didn't just be like, you come in with me. Yeah, you were super subtle about it. And then everyone was like, oh, I want to pick there. And I was like, she's done it. She's already on to her next location. But the only problem, I need advice for taking photos of megas because the breeze. I know. It's windy. It's very hard to get a good photo shot. I'm so annoying to take a photo on a megas when you're like so close to the sun and the clouds and the air. It's just, it's stressful, you know?

Like, it was hard. Like, my hair kept going in front of my eye. So then we all kind of get kind of tired. Do you remember this my favorite part? This is my favorite part of the whole day. Oh, before your favorite part, I realized, oh my God, I haven't taken one TikTok for the giglers. Like, that's what I've been put on this earth for.

We literally took no content because we were having so much fun. We had no time. We had no time. But that's why it was worth it to hire the photographer because I did not us want us. Ever we go, have us all take photos of each other. It's so annoying.

It takes up so much time and there's so many girls. Like it would have no. The first time we all make the best money ever spent. So I saw this TikTok of girls throwing hot dogs and trying to grab it and doing it in slow-mo. And I said, this would be amazing, but I don't know what the mood is because everyone has a full face of makeup on.

I go, who is down for me to throw salami on their face? Page perks up immediately. Perseptice. She's like, I'm down. I think this page is down everyone me to throw Salami on their face? Page perks up immediately. Perks out. She's like, I'm down. I think this page is down. Everyone else is like, well, fucking page is gonna do it. I have to put Salami on my face.

Did everyone get pimples from it? Probably. It was so funny. We started, I did like eight girls. And then I was like, watch it. I realized me, you and Sierra were the only one only was like caught it because we're so fucking competitive like I was like I can not wait to tell the gigglers about the game we did I know I know I know I know but also yours you

put your hands so elegantly together I was like a a quarterback, I was like, how are we going to get this play? I was like, how do I make it classy, catching a piece of meat in my mouth? So me and C are enailed it, which I was very happy about. We got the content and then things are chilling and there was a joke about like three years ago on New Year's, really late. I once, we joked about doing stand- up and I started actually doing like a stand up bit for like 16 friends, which is basically an open mic, like a decent, open mic in New York city.

You could turn anything to a economy club. So Reina starts like pretend hosting and we had some comedians there. This guy Marcelo stopped by who's like the king of Miami. And I was like Marcelo, do four minutes for the girls. We go inside and we start a whole comedy show. We go inside the living room of our yacht, which everyone had their own seat. We're sitting, the crew of the yacht

ended up coming out into like where we're sitting, handing us drinks and snacks and listening to this full on talent show everyone starts putting on. Just to explain the personalities on this Bachelorette party, I was the quietest one. I was the least funny person on this trip and the least amount of personality. Every single person on this trip was main character. I would not say you're the least funny, but I would say every single person

I made character energy, but not in a competitive way. It was no one had a time to breathe. Our abs hurt so hard because like Ashley would say something funny. Then Becca would jump on it. Then you'd have a one-liner. Then Sierra would say something stupid at me and I'd say something stupid back. We literally wrote a movie. If that entire weekend was filmed, it would be a really hilarious movie. I have to tell you the moments, like, fuck the megaya, like that moment of us all being stand-up together, out of us just like loving each other, like almost made me cry. But Raina opens, then we had Marcelo, no, then we had Beckett tell her story of shooting on

the subway. And then Marcelo. And then I went on and then who went on after me? Haley saying Whitney Houston. Haley's somebody Houston. And that was hysterical. Then I had to go back, save the show, because it got to railed. I did get heckled. People were going to the bathroom during my side. It was one of the tougher sets I've ever done in my life.

We're still recorded themselves to work on his set after. Like, we had a full time recording his set. He's working on some new bits. And then we were an hour late for our reservation, but the staff was loving the show so much that they were like, don't worry, we moved it. And after that, you're like, how much better can the night be? Right. I genuinely thought that I was like, there's no way we went to Kiki on the river. There's no way we're going to have as much fun at this like dinner than we did just now. Like I couldn't breathe. I had to walk away sometimes because I actually was going to throw up because I

couldn't catch my breath because I was laughing so hard. We get to Kiki's. But also to get to Kiki's, there was a pretty big opening between the Megia and the Land Shock. And we're all wearing big cowgirl boots and heels and we're hammered.

So I just started dying laughing. It really felt like below deck where the men were saying goodbye and I'm like, bad things can happen. Turned around to me and you were like, should I just fall just for the story to tell the people? Should I just fall for the content? And you just laughed and I was like, no, it's OK. We got the slommy bit.

We're fine. So we get there. Hannah orders. Because got the slommy bit. We're fine. So we get there Hannah orders as because now Hannah's a rich bitch. We just got off a yacht So Hannah orders to see food towers when I saw see food tower on the menu. I had to I Had to I will tell you one see food tower embarrassing two two hours 401k I will tell you, one seafood tower embarrassing. Two to two towers? 401K. What?

What? Two seafood towers. That's just normal. I had Craig's voice in my head, like get the one with lobster. And then they did come with like, I guess, the red sauce. And then I thought it was butter, but it was vinegar. Oh, yeah.

And I was. So yeah, I was. I was also vinegar. I've always ordered drink shots, and I was like, can I have melted butter? And they were like, just because you're the bride, but you're so embarrassing. And then we had just like amazing Mediterranean food. Yeah, it was so good. That Greek salad, oh, tada.

And we got hookahs, which I don't understand how to smoke. Like I've never understood how to inhale. You don't know how to smoke. Like, I've never understood how to inhale. You don't know how to inhale. It's the funniest thing that I ever want. I either choke myself or I don't inhale. Like, where are you going between? You keep it in your mouth and then you just blow it out and you're like, did I do it?

And I'm like, not how it works. Like, not at all how it works. But everyone looks so cool doing it. And then this turns into a club, so they take all the food away, and then you are free to just hop up on that table and make that your dance floor. And we dance.

And the table isn't like that. It's not sturdy. Not sturdy, and we've heard the chairs. You would think at a place like that, those tables would be like bolted into the ground. Some men's dead? Not the case. Not at case.

Not at all. And Haley fell maybe like six times, but she always gets back up and that is the positive sunshine that is Haley Shiree. And we, I have to tell you, that night I feel like you had some anxiety in the beginning when you first got to Kiki's. Tell me your mental health moment. And I get out of it. So when I was at Keke's, I was like, fuck, I don't think I can even get drunk

because I was so drunk last night and like sipping nine. I'm here. I am sipping 1942, like a classy ass bitch. I was like, I will vomit this all up on the table. Then all of the sudden, Isabel's sitting on one side and she gets up to start dancing. Sierra's on the other side of me. She gets up to start dancing. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm not gonna be this fucking loser. So then I stand up and then all of the sudden,

like a wave has come over me. We see a bachelor party from the corner of the room. They're like egging us on. They are like absolutely staring at us. So I was like, oh my room. They're like egging us on. They are like absolutely staring at us. So I was like, oh my god, we're putting on a dance routine. You go, now that we're performing, I mean, where's the mic? I'm here for it.

Dancers are all coming out. Like it was just such good vibes. And then we got fucked up. And Haley's Lebanese, she was teaching us all these dance moves. Um, and she was falling down. Okay, then, Becca, okay, so Becca's known in college. I, okay, Becca, Paige are my two best friends, and you're both very similar in that what you guys drink more than me,

but when you're with me, I kind of bounce you out, but when you hang out with other people, you do like crazy shit. You can college once. Becca, Becca will, I'll drink anyone, but when she's not with me, I'll get a call like, hey, Becca fell in the snow and she can't get up. Can you come pick her up? And I'm like, yeah, or like you will like come back black out from something. And I'm like, I'll take care of her. So I lost track of Becca

and we realized Becca fell asleep sitting down in the loudest club in Miami which is impressive in itself. And then that's why at one point I couldn't find her and I found her at guys if you've ever ever been to Miami, all the girls look the same. She's at this table with literally seven, six tublets. Like they all had the best bodies I've ever seen, all perfect faces, and she's trying to get to like, at their table and they're like, ma'am. Oh yeah, somehow she got a tambourine

and like wasn't letting any waiter pass because she thought they were trying to dance with her and they were like, excuse me, miss. And she was like, oh yeah. So she's in full, but also she doesn't give up. She's not going home. That doesn't cross her mind. She's just taking a quick nap at the table.

Then we turn away, five minutes later, the event of the party happened where my fake Prada, my Prada somehow was long filed with ketchup all actually pretty nicely put on top of it. It was someone organizing me was like let's catch up on that. Here is my question because we were sitting next to each other at this point and the Prada was right in front of us on the table. We literally looked away for one second, all of the sudden Becca's using it as a plate. Like where does the ketchup even come from?

Apparently, Sierra said that Haley spilled the ketchup on it, but that ketchup was, that ketchup had a purpose. That ketchup was there as a vehicle for the fries. That ketchup was placed. So Beggas Blackout and Pagehead Honor's story is just eating the dipping the fries on it over and over again. And then we just start laughing and continue to eat the fries off the frotta while I said crying, I'm like, that's my frotta.

And I'm okay guys because that frotta was $46. The waiter came over he was even he was like hello this is a Prada we took it from us and started washing it we let him believe that that was a Prada we let him believe it was a Prada but that was a Prada and for anyone who was wondering if people can tell if it's fake or not they can't maybe be back a deep could. But that was the funniest moment. And my fraud is great. You guys, my fraud are recovered. My fraud is so good. You could die long. I'm not on exactly. And that's why you buy fake bags. If that bag was $2,500, you think I would have turned into a bridesillah, abs, fucking mootly. Right. I would have had a fight

with Becca while she was asleep. So then so then that Saturday night. Sunday we all go to the pool. I was so proud of you when you showed up. I don't it was like that friend that died at the pregame and then shows up to the club me walking into the pool. I got a standing ovation. I felt like from people who didn't even know us. She's here. Also, at the pool, Paige shows up with a full white cover-up. Raina has a full white black bathing suit on underneath a white cover- and then Ashley had a eggshell bikini on a bachelorette party you do learn the shades of every white possible variation of clothing. On your back, right?

Would you care if people wore white? A immediate jail time. You will have to qualify. If I wore a white cover up, you will be doing a pollogy to the academy. Like, even if there was a black bikini underneath, I'd kill you. I love how you're like, henna, it's your best you're not shut up.

Look, that was literally the mindset. People are like, henna. But people keep calling me the chillest bride. And I love that for them, because I'm like, I'm so not chill with so many things, but being a bride. Oh, the night that Sierra and I were late to dinner on Friday night we were like 20 minutes late and Sierra was freaking out in the room she's like we're gonna be

late we're gonna be late and I go Sierra it's Hannah you think Hannah is gonna yell at us because we're 20 minutes late to dinner and she's like hey guys hey guys can I talk to you for a second and I pull you aside and I go how fucking dare you but I was funny because I pull you aside and I go, how fucking dare you? But it was funny, because I normally I'm the one who's with you, who's late to friends. So I kind of in my head was like, I know exactly what they're doing, and I'll make it.

Because everyone's like, where are they? Should we be worried? And I'm like, no, this is normally I'm the one with them. So we're at the pool. I was in the pool from 11 to 6. Your fingers were literally prunes. Literally adorable, nubby, raisin prunes. And everyone was just bopping around.

Everyone was talking to everyone. Everyone had inside tea that they were telling other people from other things. Everyone realized they all knew people. It was just... We did a handstand contest, because if you don't, did you even have fun at the pool? Right. I didn't say no one cried. No. Except our pool boy Marcelo did cry.

Literally the only guy at the Bachelor at party cried at the club over a completely separate issue and we all looked at him like Hey Do that outside But it was really cute. Yeah, so my friend Marcelo who's an amazing comic was in Miami and we needed a little pool boy action Hello, who's an amazing comic was in Miami and we needed a little pool boy action, but yeah, no one cried I also even tried to start drama like when people come in my room to check in on me I'd be like so who do we hate who do we who do we hate who do we love and everyone was just kept laughing Yeah, and I wanted to do confessionals, but like no one had any shit to talk everyone like was obsessed with each other

Oh another reason why this hotel was great for your bachelorette, because you love a pool. You'll literally like, I feel like you're gonna have like a water berth, you love a pool so much. You can stay in the pool and the waiter comes over and hands you quesadillas. And if I could pick your hand as bachelorette party, it's her and a pool eating Mexican food. It was so funny, because at six o'clock,

I went to go get my makeup done. And I was like, oh my god, I barely ate anything. Except seven gives me a full. Yes, literally. You took a lactose pill every day this week, Gens. I did, you do a drug and it's a whole lactate. And I snorted it. I snorted a lactate.

Because when in Miami, when in the lactate? The acidity is are so fucking good. We had guacamole, peanut coladas. But to be honest, to survive a bacharet, you can't day drink that hard. Yeah. And I was pretty good at that. I actually wasn't drinking that much today.

I was just very happy to be alive. Water, water, case of Dia, occasionally, a peanut colada. We also were laughing so hard. We like, didn't have We also were laughing so hard. We like, didn't have time to drink during the day. Like we were talking so much, bonding so much. If I was drunk, I would have been like a sleep at the pool.

And that's not the memory that I wanted. And the vibe. It was like, I hate to call women strong because I feel like people don't call men strong like that. But we were with like the strongest, most amazing, successful, funny, cool women. It really was. It was just like, people were scared of our group.

We were scary group. Like, I feel like honestly, when we were at Kiki's, like, I felt it in my bones that like the one table of guys that was like kitty corner to us like diagonal from us Was also next to like this table of like hot model girls And I'm telling you they were staring at us more because we were dying laughing sprawled all over the table Couldn't breathe like you could just tell our energy was a macula Our energy was up. I don't want to tell people to get married later in life,

but there is something fun about doing a bachelorette in your late 20s, early 30s, when you have a career. And you could kind of pay for some things, because doing a bachelorette 24 is chaotic and everyone's stressed about money. Yeah, this was so much, yeah, we were just like, well, we'll make up for it with the next podcast idea. I know. I kind of was like in my head. I was like, okay, I owe you on your

bachelorette, whatever it is. But I was kind of the first of this friend group too to get married and have a bachelorette. Like Taylor didn't really have a bachelorette. Becca did a while ago, but I couldn't go. Yeah. Haley's gonna have one. But yeah. Becca did a while ago, but I couldn't go. Yeah. Haley's gonna have one, but yeah, I was kind of the beginning. I was going to... I'm coming to hers. Yeah, for...

Hey guys, someone was like telling, yeah, I think Haley invited Becca to her wedding. I said, I was like, guys, we should do this every year for Hannah, like one year. And Taylor was like, yeah, Paige, it's called a birthday. I do think. I was like, no, has to be something separate. I think girls trips need to be more normalized.

I think some people do do it with a couple of girls if they have like hometown friends, but like this, it also like low key, after be honest. I think we made all our partners like very subtly jealous Very subtly jealous because Craig does not get jealous He's never like where are you what are you doing and at one point during the night? He was like are you guys going home and I was like never I think it's because we all weren't like none of us were texting so like no

It was cool, but every now and then he was like, are you good? Yeah. Do you need help? But I also, like it's, you, when you're on a bachelor at party, it's very hard to like convince your significant other, like, and then I feel like every girl says this, they're like, seriously,

we have not talked to one man. Like we did not speak to one person with a penis, the entire weekend. Except Marcelo. Except Marcel, but I don't count him. Like, that's what he was the pool boy, yeah. Yeah, like we ordered him a red. If I was single, I'd be like, okay,

like I thought my single friends, I'm like, I want them to have fun in my bachelor's, like go flirt with guys, like whatever, but no one wanted to No, no, we were like get get away from us See I was there not because guys aren't funny like they would kill their vibe like they're just not funny They wouldn't have kept up and I would have been embarrassing for them. Yeah So then we did you for a night which I was very excited for the looks and the makeup

Yeah, it was my favorite look that the makeup artist did for me, which was like purple blue. Was I the most bloated that night? Absolutely. I think at one point I was just holding my bloat like a baby. I was like, maybe people think I'm at a baby shower and leave me the fuck alone. And you got turned at our last dinner too. We went to Komodo, we had sushi. And you realized? We first did a whole photo shoot in the garage.

In a parking lot. In a parking lot, but it was like chic. It was so chic. It was very euphoria vibes. And at that moment, when it's our last dinner, our last time to party, we did realize that we had not seen a man in like 72 hours. And so we had this waiter, praise his name, Adam.

He quite possibly was the hottest man we've ever seen ever. And we just hadn't seen a man in a long time. We harassed this guy. No, no, it started with Taylor who is married to a woman who decides that her and Adam are dating. Together. And her and Adam are flirting and then we decide that we pretty to all ask Adam a question about his life. Pretty sure we got Adam fired at the end of the night because he got Adam fired. We got him sat down and then we saw his boss be like Adam and they had like a whole talk and we were like leave Adam alone

Leave him alone. He's too pretty to get yelled at We asked him his dating history. What's he want to do with his life? Like where is he from? I asked him if he's been to therapy. He said no He said he said my best friends are therapists and I talked to him a lot Does that and we said red flag red flag? We're like we're not Also, I started the weekend drinking a spress martini's with baleys I like it the color of my spray tan. I said by the end. I realize a good martini as best martini does not need baleys

It needs a fun glass It I need the fun glass with a manicure. And you're good. And you're good. Honestly, your drink could be trash, but if you have a classy martini glass and your nails are done, that drink is great.

You're drinking it. So you were drinking hot tea, you were spiraling a little. I was getting fucked up. I was getting fucked up. I was getting fucked up. I don't know why. I felt like, I guess I was still so happy. And I'm like, it's the last night, and I'm getting drunk.

But then I realized, you know what? This is enough. Yeah, you're like, let's go to sleep. Let's turn it into stir. It was Sunday night at 11 p.m. And you were like, I think I've, I think I've hit my limit. But I also was so, you were impressed by my drinking. I was so aglars.

I was so aglars. I feel like they think I'm like the worst. No, I was so impressed by your drinking. Honestly, Friday night, I've never seen you go so fucking hard at a club. Like, it was just shots, shots, drinking, dancing, talking to strippers. Like, I do think it meant a health moment. So much of life is perspective,

because I'll go to a party and talk myself into why I shouldn't be there. Yeah. We're like this weekend, I had convinced myself, like, this is so worth it. And then I was able to have like the most fun. So maybe because you curated the group. So it was all people that you 100% feel comfortable in.

There was nothing bad that was put possibly at the end. Every eye contact I made also not only were they there, but I knew they decided to give their weekend to me, which was so sweet. I go, you guys, I curated this group of people people and I think you piped in, you're like, these are your only friends. You paid us to be here. No one said no.

No one couldn't come. But there is something to be said, like, you know, when you're with a group that it is fun to like hate one person in the group, but vibes like you have one bad conversation. You're like, I don't like people. I don't want to be here. And there wasn't any of that. There was none of that. And then just when we think the night is over, Cheech works for a PR company and she got

us all matching juicy couture sweatsuits. We were straight. You're you're skipping something. What? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. We were straight. You're you're you're skipping something. What Oh my god, oh my god, and we see a huge van blasting music with lights and stuff and We didn't order that we're trying to chill night Becca and Marcelo go up and apparently the guys like we're bringing We're waiting for people from the restaurant, but if you guys get in now, we'll take you and we were like Done It was like like a party bus people from the restaurant, but if you guys get in now, we'll take you and we were like, done it! Done.

It was like a party bus. We thought we were getting sex traffic for like a hot second, but then like, Oh, we're getting sex traffic. But then like, there was techno music and a fog machine. And I was just like, this is like adult candy. Like, yes sir, we'll get on your van. Like, you have a strobe light.

It was, we get in and you forget you're in a moving vehicle and everyone's together like it's a subway. The lights are going, the best rap music. Marcelo's started stripping, I think. I was shaking my ass. It was just the perfect way to end the weekend. It was basically like the club. Yeah, we went to a quick club.

If we went to a quick club, we got the vibes. And then we went. We get back to the hotel and there was a moment where I'm like, I could call it a day here. I could end on top. But we put on these juicy sweatsuits. At this point, it's like, let's say it's like, it's 12.30. Yeah.

It was like 12.30. We put on these matching juicy sweatsuits. We all gather in my room. But because it's the biggest. Pure sleepover vibes. Oh, that was the move. So we start playing, we played, I don't think I'm not, by Candy. We played the song that's Aaron and I were singing last podcast.

We did a full like music video. Did everyone in the sleepovers think they were in a music video and like, do dance moves? I think so. And then we ordered snacks. We were all eating like cereal from boxes. We were all sitting on the bed. Like, Sierra and I like put our feet up on the door and we're like trying to shake our backs and then she fell on Haley.

Because Haley was crawling under us. It was violent. It was perfect. But then, We started to play a game. Haley pipes up and says, Hey, I went to church camp and I have some games that we should play. And after we died laughing for 20 minutes, we started playing said games. There was a game. It's on TikTok and it's you have a partner and you say one, two, three and you both have to say a word.

And eventually you have to both say the same word. Because after the first words you think, okay, like what connects that word and you come up with another word. No, and it really does test how in sync you are and I'm not going to lie. In your intuition, did you not know that we were going to crush it? I said, I are going in there. They're bad, like they're bad. Like all that embarrassing, like we're going for them.

Like 10 rounds, they couldn't get a word. Just missing, page and I go, we sit down and I have to tell you, I'm actually mad that I didn't get the first one. Like I, like, really focused. I would have gone the first one. I was just like, we're not gonna get the first one. If I focused, I would have gone the first one. I was being I was just like we're not gonna get the first one If I focus I would have gone the first one We'll do it for them ready. We did three two one bad

And then I looked at her and I knew easy Three two one Jesus and everyone was silent like scared one, Jesus. And everyone was silent, like scared. They felt we cheated. They were like, there's no way that you guys won this game on the second round. And we thought they were in stranger things.

Like we were doing mind control tracks. And we were like, no, like we really finish each others. We were like, Hannah, sandwiches. Hannah, we talk, we have talked every single day for four years. I would have been pissed if we didn't get that. No, I would have been disappointed in us. And I actually wanted to sleep last night, and I was like, obviously, bad.

Obviously, you stupid bitch. And then we were just being crazy. Oh, then Haley did another Whitney Houston performance that we were dying from. And I went to sleep and Becca and Marcelo stayed with you guys and they said you were falling asleep, I would randomly pipe in. I fell asleep at like, I'm going to say I fell asleep at like four o'clock. Becca got in my bed, Becca slept in my bed.

And I randomly woke up to the sound of hearing her say, do you think she knows I'm here? And I woke up and I was just like, I know you're here. Like you can lay in my bed. You're massive bed like all are welcome um And then and we have like a full slumber party, but I am obsessed with back, you know also like it's weird To meet your best friends other best friend

like you're just like But you know when you meet your your best friends other best friend from college or high school and you're like, I've seen how we've grown apart. Like you're like, oh, I see how that could have been cute back in the day. Yeah. But Becca's just one of these special people who is just such a character and we were, she's coming to my bachelorette. People should start hiring her to go to everyone's bachelorette.

Dude, I genuinely think if you're nervous about your butt shred, you could hire us and we'll come and we'll blow it up. Like, we just, the group was so perfectly curated. Overall, I had little expectations for the weekends because I don't like partying. I don't like large groups. And I don't like attention that I didn't earn. It's like people singing happy birthday to you the whole time.

It's my biggest nightmare. But it was literally said, she was like Friday. I really contemplated, contemplated even getting on the plane. She was like, I didn't know how, if it was gonna be fun, if it was gonna be awkward. Yeah. And then like Sunday night, we literally were like crying that we had to leave.

We were so sad. We were so sad. It was like we're leaving summer camp. Like we were so, we're like keeping touch, right? Like we're gonna see you at the wedding, right? I couldn't even say goodbye. It was one of those where just like ignored the goodbye and like ran off. I do have to say.

It's a later. It was goodbye. It was like the best weekend of my life. No, I called my mom when I got home on Monday night and I was like, mom, no, I'm not kidding. That was the best weekend of my life. But I'm be honest, we couldn't have done another night. No, oh God no, no, no, no, no.

It ended the way it happened. Okay, do you wanna hear like the last five minutes of this pod, how insane what I did when I got home from the bachelorette? I don't know if something's like, if I had like a shift, like if the moon is like somewhere else, like something's going on, I got home from the bachelorette.

I got home at like eight third day. I completely unpacked my suitcase. I did all my laundry. I hung up all my clean clothes. I did a full shower, like a girl shower, like a full washer hair, exfoliate, shave. I got out of the shower. I blow dried my hair. I did a face mask. I did my nails. I ate ramen and I turned I ate ramen and I turned the TV off, went to bed by midnight. Did this mantra change you? I think it changed you.

Wait, did you just get some natural serotonin? Yes, and I was like, is this what it's like to not be depressed? I was like, this is wild. I was like, I love my life. I literally had a moment where I was like, I am just like, I love my life. Like, I literally had a moment where I was like, I'm obsessed with my life and my friends. I was like, I'm gonna do like good things today. Like, I'm gonna do laundry and stuff.

Should I take care of myself? It's funny because we had the exact opposite experience where I like slept on the flight kind of, but I had like the smallest seat. It was of, but I had the smallest seat. It was just like, I had a crank in my neck the whole time. Get home, cuddle with butter, fall asleep watching a documentary, Abercrombie and Fitch documentary, just came out on Netflix guys.

We'll discuss it next week, get on that. Then, like, kind of, like, lost my voice. So I took a night quill. Went to sleep at 9, woke up at 11 am because Des was calling me to see if I was alive. And um, that's what the match are at supposed to do. And that means it worked, but um, I hope everyone enjoyed our full ass recap. If we missed any details, we will continue it next week. Um, I was trying to convince Becca to come on the pod. She was like, what would I talk about? If we miss any details, we will continue it next week.

I was trying to convince Becca to come on the pod. She was like, what would I talk about? I was like, I don't even care. I just want you on the pod. I've been trying. People are messaging me being like, protect Becca at all costs. So, we're going to have more photos that we'll be sharing on Instagram from it. And we might do a little, like, we have some video we'll see.

But make sure you guys rate, subscribe, review on Apple Podcast. It means the world to us, subscribe to our YouTube to watch the vids, not this one, sorry. Yeah. Honestly, it's better off, it's better off you don't see my face right now. It'll ruin your fucking day. And we just thank you for giggling with us. And thank you for being there virtually at

my matchup at you guys. Love you.