Giggly Squad - Giggling about Hannah’s ski accident, kitchen anxiety and celeb crushes

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

THIS WILL NOT STOP US FROM DROPPING THE NEW SKI COLLECTION NO MATTER HOW HARD THE SKI GODS TRY TO DETER US Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We've literally been gossiping for an hour and I've been saving this. No, for this moment. And I'm literally winded. I know. We had to take like a break. Here's the thing. We get on Zoom, we're like, let's start the podcast

and then Hannah looks at me and says, you got anything for me and I, and I said there for two seconds and I'm like, I don't know. And then I just go. And it comes to you like a psychic. You're like, and then this, and it was so good I was sweating.

I literally had an anxiety attack. Well, I actually had multiple anxiety attacks, and I'm gonna tell you why. Oh, right, because you're in Vancouver. I'm in Vancouver, and I'm gonna tell you guys something. We are all very powerful manifestationers on this pod. And I did manifest wrong again. Wrong again. I have to show you something.

Are you ready? Is it your toe? No! Oh my god! You broke your arm! So I broke my finger. Oh my fingers! Oh my god! I'm giving you all the tea and at one time did you lift your hands up? I was an Italian who was really hard. No, I crushed two of my fingers, they're fractured.

You guys, I spent all week talking shit about skiing. I was going on podcasts. I was on stage. I'm doing a whole new bit about how rich people were so bored. They had to invent this stupid sport to feel something. And I'm like, how are you so terrified and bored at the same time? And I'm just like shitting on the sport to the pool.

Where's the lie, though? Where is the lie on both of those things? Where's the lie but I didn't know that the ski gods were listening to me in Albuquerque New Mexico shitting on skiing but they were. They were. So we get to Whistler and I wake up and like. Did this happen today? This happened yesterday.

I can't believe you didn't send a selfie like in the hospital. No I wanted to. So bad. One time I over the summer I couldn't find Hannah and like we went out for a night and then I just got a text message and it was her in hospital bed because she broke her pinky and this is how I knew that like you and I were meant to be best friends and you were in best friends with anyone else because everyone was so concerned and they're like, oh my god. where is she?

Is she okay? Should we go get her? And I was like, that bitch is fine. And I started laughing at Star. You go, if anything, she's very hungry. And she needs McDonald's when she gets back. And I, and member eight ordered it for you. So yeah, three years ago, I guess my like seconds,

first season of Summer House, I fell and broke my pinky, wasn't an important story. But, okay, so you're in Vick. I wake up and I'm like, everything inside me doesn't want to ski. Like I don't know if I've like psyched myself out, but like does, it makes him so happy to ski. He's like, it's a beautiful day, get up.

And like something in your god, something in my god, and I take a photo. It's not right. And I wrote, And like something in your godforses. Something in my god. And I take a photo. It's not right. And I wrote, help me. And I immediately am like, no, you have to take that down because that's bad karma. I deleted the post because I'm like, you're going to get injured today. Like I had a weird feeling I was going to get injured. I also like, let's be honest, I'm tired.

I'm not like, yep, I feel like I'm a little sick. I don't know. I wasn't feeling right. We get on the mountain and I go and you go. And you had to ski the day before, right? No, this is my first time skiing. Oh, OK. OK.

I say I need water. And he's like, OK, so instead of skiing, we go to get water. And then I drink water and I'm like, oh, god. OK, fine. You can do this. And I was like, stopping scared, be confident. They say if you try to go slow, it's actually harder.

You have to lean into the speed. So the first run, it's a green, guys. It's easy. I'm going and Des is like, you okay? I'm like, yeah. And he's like, watch out. It's kind of like, I see. And even I see whatever.

There was like a weird part. And I'm like, I got it. And I'm going, I'm going fast. Because I'm like, if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it. And he turns around and he's like, he says something like watch out or something. I black out next day, I know, I've like, basically you're going like 25 miles per hour.

I fall like a fall, fall. Like I'm tumbling. I fall like onto my, my whole body falls onto my hand and like, this is so gross you guys. Like you're falling forward. Like your summer solitude. She's flying. She's in here.

She's in the Olympics when someone messes up really bad. She's a runner. She's a trap shot. She's a trap shot. My grandpa called a flip dilly with a half twist. I did it. I nailed it. And I was like, my hands broken.

First thing in the day, like, it's, like, what's her day is it? I mean, maybe 12, which is, you know, the morning for me. So I'm like, I broke my hand and then like, I'm just lying there and does is like, come on, come on. And he comes over and I'm like, I think my hand's broken and then it like hits me mentally that my hand's broken and I start having a panic attack. Cause that's the only time I have panic attacks

when I like lose control of my body. So I'm like lying there in the eyes. People are flying by me. I'm like, not only am I gonna get hit right now, but I'm also having a panic attack. This ski slope is so rude in terms of that. No one slows it down. No one stops to check if you're okay.

No one calls ski patrol. I need ski patrol on speed dial. It was a hero and he calls ski patrol because I need ski patrol on speed dial. It was a hero and he calls ski patrol because I'm having a panic attack. So regardless, I'm like, I'm not getting down this hill and I think my hands broken. Ski patrol comes and they're like,

your hands not broken and they look at does and I'm like, I'm hungry. So the news like, did we call ski patrol because you're hungry? But the guys like, we'll take you down on a, what's it called like an ocanagan? It's I don't know what it was called. A tobagan. A tobagan. A tobagan. Would you call it an acanagan? Who knows? I think that's a place in Canada that I mispronounced.

Literally sounds like something from Harry Potter. They wrapped me up like a mummy and this is not a smooth ride. You're just like your head just like banging against the ice over and over again and it is Is um does skiing down next to me filming me filming me for the content dying laughing I'm also laughing too and the people were like is she crying? He goes no she's a comedian. She's laughing She doesn't know how to feel real emotions Mind you then my goggles like fall over my nose and my mouth is covered So I can't breathe in the in the tobaganokin and I'm just lying They're like and I'm just like this is why it's king

Why did they wrap your whole body as they have to like slide you down? I don't fucking know it was so dramatic of me and Then like my fingers are starting to go numb because they like wrapped it up except for the tips of my fingers And it's like zero degrees. I don't know, Canada degrees. It was really cold. So I'm freezing and long story short, I'm like, I think I just sprained my hand. I think it sprained and I go to sleep. I wake up in the next morning and I'm like, this is not sprained, it's swollen.

So we went to the hospital all morning. Were you in pain all night? When I wasn't moving it and I was okay. But you just can't move it. But I want to let the gig was no. We do have a ski collection coming out. But we forgot the fine print. It's not for skiing. It's for opera ski only. Okay. We are only made to opera ski. It was false advertising when I was showing me ski. But the good news is I don't have to ski anymore. I know. I was just thinking. So you're dumb for the season.

Like, the Chaz retired. She's retired. It's des like, it's des like you did this on purpose. Well, he was like so sweet and so apologetic. He's like, I shouldn't have forced you to ski. But I had to have a hard to heart with him. Because I'm like, why am I still pretending to like something for a man, you know? But like, it's sports, and I just, I have my-

Yeah, it's a hobby, though. Like, that's a compromise that's like, okay, your husband likes to do this one sport hobby. Like, and you are an athletic girl. Like, you're- But I'm surprisingly quite spastic at the same time. It's, I'm a real duality in that way. You're like, can she walk?

Oh, she a professional times player. I don't know. Can she chew gum and walk at the same time? No. I've seen you run around before and it can be chaotic. And yeah, like a, like a drunken gazelle, so would say. And I was like, I can't even rollerblade. Like I'm just not, I want to sport where I'm like,

on the ground. On the ground. And firm on the ground. Also I realize like, somebody is dudes, especially love adrenaline. And like me, I wake up with adrenaline. I am a 90, resting 90 beat heart rate. Like I am jacked up for no reason.

Do you think they're dick gets hard like going down? Probably fucking sickos. Yeah, probably fucking weird. I fall on purpose just to hump the fucking snow, the powder. I mean does have the second family and the powder. We don't talk about his relationship with the powder. The powder. He's gonna see the powder again. Oh, while he talks about the powder. Like really? Well, I didn't want to see the powder again. Oh, while he talks about the powder. Like really, well I didn't wanna see the inside of a hospital room, but here we are. Okay. I do comedy, that's enough adrenaline for me.

I don't need to do these like roller coasters and shit. I don't, also you can't win at skiing. Once I get to the mountain, what you have to do again? Absolutely not. I'm over it, I've spoken my truth and I said to Dez, I go, you know what, like I actually, I don't like skiing. And I'm so sorry. And he was like, that's totally fine. I like to ski on my own anyway and I was like, okay, so we know how to do this. He probably likes you just

being there, like you could be in the lodge, but he probably wants to go at his like normal speed anyway. He basically was like, anyway, so much better and he kept buying me ski stuff for like every birthday, like new ski boots and I was like, he was getting so much better and he kept buying me ski stuff for like every birthday, like new ski boots and I was like, yay! So like I think he kind of convinced himself, slush me. I mean, I was brainwashed. That you were great. Now that I'm saying it out loud,

he brainwashed me. But the universe was like, were you silent? Or were you silence? But look, that's slow. I love the ski culture. Like he's like, are you okay? And I'm like, I am gonna have the best next two days drinking

How chocolate for no reason eating food? Oh my god, you're probably thriving. So long story short. Yes, my hand is broken So it your hand is broke because this is ski podcast and we we're on the ground floor Out here in the streets. We're in the trenches. We're literally doing the journalistic work If I'm editing this podcast takes a little long, it's because my hands are broken. Okay, so what's the prognosis? How long are you in that? Do you have to get a legit cast? What's the deal? So I have a cast. It's going to be fine. Hopefully four weeks I'll be fine. I have to hold the mic with my left hand. Things are probably just so annoying now.

Like you can't get away. I have to wipe my mic with my left hand. Things are probably just so annoying now. Like you can't get away. I have to wipe my butt with my left hand and it turns out very difficult. Oh my God, the funniest part though is I sit down finally the doctor comes after waiting for so long and she goes, do you have blood on your chest? And I'm like, what? Who knows what's going on with me?

I'm like, what? I look down, I go, no, that's ketchup. She was like, I thought I was coming in here for a sprained wrist, not a gunshot wound. Like that was just a slippery hat dog. This was like we had brunch earlier and sorry, sorry, my wife, not the home fries and things got crazy. This was like no, it's ketchup. Like that's she just, she loves good side of ketchup.

She's a big condiment girl, I don't know. She got the soil. She got the soil. She got the soil. I was like, no, I just broke all my fingers. I'm fine. Then I had to call my mom, which sucked. Because you know, my mom was like, my mom was like, my mom said, I knew what she's going to happen.

And I would be like, hold you. You're always pushing yourself too hard. And then I was like, is there a cuter accessory? Because this looks like I need 10 of my friends to sign this cast to be socially accepted in first grade. I want to sign it. Can you sign it?

Yeah, I will. But I was like, do you have anything cuter? Oh, my God. I was like, show us a Miami this weekend. And you pushing your hair behind your ear with your cast is my new favorite meme. Oh my God, Hannah, I'm so sorry. I can't even give the middle finger.

I mean, the universe literally gave you an answer. They're like, you want to see it here? We're going to make it easy for you. Pigeon, my life, when the universe does want me to do something, they are so dramatic with it. Like, why do we have to go so far? Like, you could have just mustard up, like just the balls to say, I don't want it.

You have said, like I really didn't want to go. Would you have had the balls to say like, Craig, I don't want a ski today. Have fun by yourself. Okay, so this actually happened to me last year in Aspen. We, I had skied the first, the first like, whole day and I loved it. We had so much fun. It was great. second day I got on the skis and in my head

I was like you're gonna break your ankle like I don't know what it was But I I think because my legs were so weak from the day before that I was Literally my body was like what are we doing? Why are you doing this to us? My body was like, no, put thoughts in her brain. She's gonna die. So I think, so in my head, I was like, if anything happens where I'm tripping a little,

I'm falling a little, which always happens, I'll go right down, I won't be able to keep myself up, like I normally can. And so I literally took my skis off everyone was like What's going on and I was like it's not for me today And I walked inside and I was just like not today your relationship to the mountain is your relationship with life I need to learn to speak up for myself I do think I got bad luck landing on my hand because I've fallen many times and I'm pretty swift with a fall

I've but there's also no right way to fall with skiing. That's what's fucked up. There's no like safe way to fall. Right, because you're, because also your feet are on these fucking things, you're falling on, you're falling on a downward hill. Like there's no other place to go but down. Try to do that gracefully. Try to do that gracefully.

Everyone who falls skiing literally looks like a baby deer. True. And you guys, this is the funny part. I got good. Like, I was good. But you know what? I'm retiring. I'm retiring.

It's my announcement. I'm retiring from skiing. I will operate scale day. I will wear all the gigabit ski gear. You had a good run. I had a good run. No pun intended. I ended.

Page, where were you? You were like, I'm flying back in. Were you in Charleston? No, I took the train in. Oh, from Albany. From the parental. From the parental. A little update on my life, I guess.

I think you were probably wondering why my hair looks so silky, so shiny. Well, I want to tell you that this is zero product. This is all grease and natural Italian oil because I'm trying this new thing where I only want, I want to get to a point where I only have to wash my hair like once or twice a week. And the way that you have to do it is you have to literally train your hair. So the last time I washed it was on Thursday.

So I'm trying to wait to wash it again until Thursday. So that like my hair gets used to like, okay, we can't get as oily as quickly because we only get washed once a week. So that's my new story. I love that journey for you. Are you still skin cycling? Or is this like in replace of skin? I'm like over skin cycling because I literally like forgot how to do it and

then I just forgot. It's so much happens. It's so much admin. I'm like, what do we do last night? Oh, I need to buy like a calendar. No, I couldn't. I can't remember what I have for breakfast. I don't know what retinal I used. I heard that if you use like just conditioner on your hair for a while, that helps too. Okay, my mom said the same thing, but like, to not get greasy or like, because my mom was like, okay, we'll just get in the shower, get it wet, and then get out and like, do it. And I was like, that sounds like a literal serial killer. I'm not getting in the shower, getting my hair wet, then blow drying grease. Like, why would I do that?

So you had a big debate about that over eggs. I love that. But I did nothing this weekend, but do skin care? Mm-hmm. Kiss my dog on the nose. Tell him he was a trubby puppy. And like eat food. I love that, that's so important.

It was so important. I had shows in Vancouver and there's something happening With my stand-up shows and I feel like it'll happen. You're like so you're so far away right now. I'm literally Vancouver's fucking far It's I'd like there's no reason in New Yorker would just find themselves here But I do feel more cultured even though everyone speaks English English, but they do say sorry Yeahd, even though everyone speaks English. But they do say sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

And they said and a girl like a hot girl was like, A, do you like that brunch? A. And I was like, that's like a lot of extra work. I don't need. Yeah. We don't have to you have to yell at me after you said the sentence. But um, so more men are coming to the shows. Maybe it's because they see like online I'm making friend of boyfriends, which I am

and I will continue to do and it's my passion in life. But I feel like it's gonna happen with Giggly Squad shows too. More boyfriends are coming. So this is my rule. If there's gonna be more men in the audience, they just, they need to have a shaperone. They need to have a buddy system. There has to be

a girl keeping it a high peace. I cannot have a random man in the crowd. I'm fine with a man with a shaperone. I don't want random men. I'd want random man. I got kicked out of one of my shows because he was just like being a man without a shaperone. No way. How old was it? Primed 30s? Oh My god I was like this is unsafe

No, that's unsafe. I the men are just It's just so wild. It's so funny going home now like as a full blown adult like I Am so much more obsessed with my mom now because I feel like I hit the age where she's like, okay, I can finally tell you just like how awful the men are that live in our home. Like I don't need you to like have a good relationship with them anymore.

Like let's legit talk about it. So now like certain things will happen and like I'll look over at my mom in the middle of the living room and give her a look and And she'll just be like, I know, they're at it again. So like, we have such like deep dive conversations about just like, how much they're, how stupid they are and like, how they get their way. But I also feel like Kim is so powerful. Cause like, if Kim just one day was like, figure it out. Gary. No, like, that would be a reality TV show I'd watch.

Gary, too powerful. Trying to figure out how to live like the two Gary's on their own. Make it an afraid time. It's literally, naked and afraid. My mom has like come down and like stayed with me for like a full week and like at a time. And the number one question that I always ask her is like,

what did dad eat last night? Because it's such an interesting thing to like see him navigate the world and he plans it in the morning because he's like nerve, like what is, the man has never cooked. Oh, I also was in LA. Don't you love the time difference though? Don't you feel like you are the most responsible? You're like, I'm up at 7 a.m.

But that's really- I wake up at 7 a.m. But it's really- I wake up at 9 which is literally new. And I'm like, and my phone's blowing up. Give me tackling the day. I'm like, I'm like, I'm warning people, look at us, just morning people, just a complete fraud.

A complete fraud. I love who I am in Los Angeles. Oh, I love it. But then you're like exhausted at night and you're like, why am I so lame? And you're like, oh yeah, because it's 3 a.m. But I will do this thing on my phone. I love to like walk to Melrose and stuff,

but then it says it takes like five minutes to walk back to the hotel, but they don't tell you that it's La Siena which is like straight uphill. So I was like literally people thought I was a prostitute. And I feel like no one walks. No one walks. So I'm alone.

People think I'm an out of shape prostitute because I had to stop. Like I, people were like, are you okay? I stopped because I was breathing so heavy. I'm so out of shape. I'm literally so out of shape. Also, it was right after I got lymphatic drainage on my face. Where'd you go? I went to this place called the Tocks, which was very cool.

Yes. They did start off with no non-mapestations. Affirmations. They start off with an affirmation. Yeah, she was like, you are amazing. You are worthy. And I'm like, look, I don't think I'm worthy. I think you have the wrong rule.

Really? That's a real, I don't know. I feel like we're reaching on that one. And she's like, you don't have any stresses. And it was so funny. As a New Yorker, I was like, I don't need, you don like we're reaching on that one. And she's like, you don't have any stresses. And it was so funny as a New Yorker, I was like, I don't need, you don't need to lie to me. Like, let's just do the ol' phatic drainage. Let's cut the shit and do the massage.

And then she gave me a crystal after, and I was like, I'm fully in a lay. But then she gaslit me. What'd she say? She was like, okay, the only thing you have to do is drink a lot of water. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I did not sign up for this.

I signed up for a massage. I did not sign up for having to drink water. Because that's not my brand, that's not my personality. Lymphatic drainage, like the, the massage is do nothing unless you do the homework after. See, I did not know that. And then I'm walking up last Siena got after this. And I'm like, oh no, I'm not drinking water.

I thought I was gonna faint. I think I'm almost fainted. Because I'm fine. Yeah, because it literally takes off. It takes all your water weight is like trying to flesh out. So you're like, it's so dehydrated. So it was dive. But it would've been so LA of me to like,

have a crystal in my hand and just Fane like I was the aniga be like you're like sorry. I might have had a vision. I don't know So yeah, that was scary, but I did like the lymphatic drainage it was cool because I have a lot of tension in my face I feel like so it's nice to like yeah massage it it does feel really good and then I feel like if you do like do it consistently like your jawline does kind of stay a little bit more Snatched like I think it's great for like events. It's great for like breaking your arm in Vancouver. You probably looked stunning I also saw this trend on TikTok. Have you seen the rice starch Greek yogurt Korean glass skin trend? It's a little wordy. What the fuck? Is that a food or a skin care? Like what?

They're putting rice starch Greek yogurt on faces, but they're saying you're gonna get Korean glass skin and I'm like, I hate to break it to you guys. You're not gonna look Korean after this. Dude, I literally am like my mid-twenties. There was this like Korean skincare store. It's in New York City. I don't know if it's still there, but it was called like the Mask Bar. I do think it's premium Korean skincare. I'm just, you're not gonna look like a beautiful glass skinned Korean woman.

I literally walked in, I looked at all of these women and I was like, whatever you use put it in my cart. I'll get it. Put it in my fucking. I'll get it. Put it in my fucking cart, but their skin is on another level. Oh my God. Also, have you heard of this thing called kitchen anxiety? No.

You have. I feel like I have it. You have, but you don't know it. Okay. Kitchen anxiety is when you have roommates. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes. Everyone's had it. Kitchen anxiety is when you have roommates. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes. Everyone's had it.

Kitchen anxiety is when you're like, I want to go on the kitchen, but I don't want to have to talk to all my roommates, and I'm just going to wait it out. I honestly have that one crags here. I think I really want to go on the kitchen. Like, I know he's in there. Then I just order Uber Eats. And, can you bring that to the bag? Yeah. And no, just leave it outside the door. Yeah, leave it outside my bedroom door. Don't make a cut time. Whatever you do. Okay, so it's anxiety for when you have roommates

keep going. Yeah, but I just feel like anyone who has kitchen anxiety, you're not alone, it's a real thing. It's also like when you have all the bowls and all the cups in your room and you have to find the right time to take them and bring them into the kitchen. Okay, I used to have a version of that. The first year I lived in New York City, I lived with two other girls.

And they, I, like the first six months that I lived in New York, like I didn't have a job yet, but I would still like go with like their schedule because they were my only friends. So like they would wake up every morning and go to like a spinning class at like 7 a.m. and I would like sometimes I would go with them. And then when we would get home, they would always have hot water with lemon and then they would like get in the shower and then they would like get ready for work. So I would have my hot water with lemon also and then I would get back in the back. But hot water with lemon, like,

is... I used to drink it all the time and I really, like, I don't drink it as much as I used to. What I would say, I probably have it like three times a week in the morning. It genuinely is the best thing to clear you right out. Like I like to show yourself. I think yes, like I think it's better than coffee some morning.

This I think why can't I just have to put like because that is way more enjoyable of an experience unless I were for me because water is good for you. It's good for your body. You sound just like that lymphatic lady. You are worthy Hannah. So we would get back and they would have to be in the bathroom because they're literally doing something with their lives or getting ready for work.

And I would be in my bed being like, I'm gonna shit myself. If they don't get out right now, and you do that thing where you're like, you can't stop moving. And then finally, I would be like, I have to shit with you in the shower. It comes in my hair. It comes in my hair just like, I have to shit with you in the shower. And I don't care.

It comes in my head. It's either I shit while you're in the shower or it happens in our living room floor. Like I have no other options. Well, I have two boy roommates. And like, you know, I'm not walking around. I'm trying to pretend I'm some like daisy. They know I'm dirty and gross.

But like, obviously, you don't want to, I wasn't at the point where I'm like, I'm taking a shit. So I would like use the the bathroom and spray a lot. I think occasionally they'd be like, oh my god, it smells really bad in there. And I'd be like, I don't know what happened. It wasn't me.

You're like, I think Dave had someone over the other day. The center's never last. It was like not even home. And I'm like, it was Corey. He came here, he's shit, and then he left. It was so weird. It was really hot. It was pretty bad. he didn't even say anything

he just said you are worthy and left I think he has a stomach bug he looked at me and said you know why and then walked out and so I think he probably had Chipotle like why are you trying to blame it on me were you guys open with your roommates about like pooping or were you coy about it You know what I mean? Were you guys open with your roommates about like pooping or were you coy about it? No, we were very open. That's good. Because the two girls I lived with were friends from high school.

And I only knew one of the girls, but then like when we lived together, yeah, I've seen some shit. It was fine. We were very open. Speaking about poop with other girls, immediately brings you to like another friendship level regardless. Just like tell them when you have to shit, open it up.

Especially different. I used to be so shy about it because I thought people would think I'm gross and stuff and then I was like, no, they'll feel less alone. Okay. Especially if you're at a bar or something and you're in the girls' bathroom. I have been in so many girls' bathrooms at bars

because of my anxiety puke. And so everyone would like really hype me up in those bathrooms. Like my friends knew like, okay, she's not even like drunk. She's literally saw a guy that she used to text and now she's wearing here because she has anxiety. But I used to make so many friends because everyone would be like, yeah, like she's thrown up. Like I'm having a great time. One really I'm like silently crying because I'm like, I'm so anxious. I don't wanna be here anymore.

You're like, I shine in the bathroom. Shine. I've walked in with like puke coming out of like my sleeve because I threw up in my coat, like at the actual bar and were coming into clean me up. Like I've had some weird things in the bathroom. My favorite bathroom was the work bathroom. People must have thought I had like a serious problem

with my bladder because like at work every three minutes, I would just go in the bathroom. But was it where there are multiple stalls? Or was it a one person bathroom? There was two stalls. It's sometimes you're kind of on the same rhythm of bathroom anxiety. Like you and the same girl will like every 30 minutes be in the bathroom and you're like,

hey, good to see you. And I was also cold calling sales. Like I would sit in there for hours. If I'm anywhere like I immediately look to see where the bathroom is not because like I ever have to pee because I'm a dehydrated bitch. But like I will be places and be like, okay, I'm gonna go sit in the bathroom for two minutes and just like come back dad, like be myself again. Every time I go to a restaurant, I have to go to the bathroom.

Yeah. I just like just, it keeps me grounded. I know where it is. I know where I can go. You can exit plans. Yes, yes, you need a scape route. You need a poop strategy. Right, you should know, like if I have to hide here, where am I hiding?

And it's in the back. I also know some people are very polite with their poops, like they'll only poop at home. And I'm like, what do you think public restrooms are for? I'm destroying it. I'm destroying it. I'm not going to destroy my own house. I'm going to that bodega. I'm going to that 7-11.

And I'm blowing up the place and leaving. The last time we talked about this, you literally made me shit myself in the middle of the street. I'm actually in a strong manifesting place right now clearly, so I'm gonna pivot. No, that was so traumatizing for me. Have you heard of the gold silver analogy? No. Okay, I'm gonna get it wrong,

but it was going around on TikTok. By the way, we are the queens of de-centering men from our life. We had a Valentine's Day pod come out, did not even reference Valentine's Day, did not reference... Tidwing? I like it didn't even. It was Monday night before Valentine's Day, and we just like forgot about Valentine's Day, and I think it was, I'm kind of proud of us.

Did you get anything? No. No. That's just like, we don't skate. I was like, yeah. I literally, it was like 7 p.m. and I looked at my phone and I was like, yo, what the fuck?

And I texted Craig and I was like, hey, just a reminder, it's fucking Valentine's Day. And he was like, yeah, Paige, obviously, I had flowers like outside my door all day, but I just like never answered the door because I was like, fuck, I don't know what that is. I just got flowers, nothing groundbreaking.

Does was like, do you, like we are both traveling? And he's like, do you need flowers? Like we're going to this great ski vacation. And I was like, yeah, it's fine. I'd rather just break my hand on the ski vacation. Where I'm gonna, yeah, where I'm gonna end up in the hospital. I don't know, but this one felt like drainage lady just said I was like, yeah, it's fine. I'd rather just break my hand on the ski vacation. Where I'm gonna, yeah, where I'm gonna end up in the hospital. I don't know, but this one felt like drainage lady, just said I was worthy.

So I'm pretty sure you should fake a get me chocolate. Yeah, my dad did, like, got me a card and stuff. My dad always does stuff. So I feel like that's why I never look for it. Yeah, you have it. You have it from your dad. You should talk to a therapist about that though. No, it's honestly really hindered me

in every single relationship. I literally let men slide on everything because I'm like, whatever, I don't need to. I have my dad. I have a man who loves me so I can see. I don't need you to just talk. I don't need you to save up money, build me a house, or do anything that an adult man should do

because I have my dad. So go ahead, flail. Do whatever you want. You go if you need something, call my dad. I, the amount of time. This is so... Amasculate. The amount of times I have been at Craig's home and he's been trying to either like put something together Figure something out or do something and I have responded with should we just call my dad

See I go let's call my mom Cuz my dad is just like funny. He's like no major But don't have to call your dad like I can do it. I'm like it doesn't look like you know Your dad is way more handy than I, my dad's like kind of handy. He like sports and jokes. No, my dad will literally knock this building down and rebuild it by next week. Like he is. He is.

On a different level. Oh yeah, so the Golden Silver analogy is on Valentine's Day girls would get jewelry from their men. And like, they might always wear gold. Like, you're a gold girl. And your man gets you silver jewelry and you're like, like they might always wear gold. Like you're a gold girly, and your man gets you silver jewelry, and you're like, he's, this is wrong.

This is a red flag. He doesn't know. But then now like I'm a gold girly, but silver's like in, and I'm kind of into mixing the gold and silver's right now. So I'm open to it, but it is funny to think like these men when they're buying you jewelry,

is it a red flag if they get you the gold when you want silver? Okay. Or are they just being a dude and they can't tell if you cut your hair four inches and they're just dumb, dumb. I think that they are just stupid. Like, and they don't know what's cool or what's pretty. So I wouldn't read too much of into it in terms of like that. But I do think a lot about like, what if one day when I get engaged and I see the ring and I'm just like

wrong ring. Wrong ring. Like do you not like no because these that is again a made up thing. These men do not just come up with a ring in their head that's perfect for you. This is orchestrated. Paige you don't think I'm going to be like like tediously making sure every deck I'm going to be running a bio. coming back pretending like I didn't talk to you We're gonna have drafts upon drafts them whenever we get to it. We're gonna triple it I'm gonna say perfect and we're tripling because I think that men I think men genuinely think that like they're surprising their girlfriends on the day that they propose but like in reality We've picked the we picked the rain with your

Everyday expenses. You don't think you're gonna know, like, three months in advance. Also, men, the second they start acting weird, you're either just cheating on me, or he isn't proposing to me. Like, they start being sneaky. They're like, uh, Des was like, I have to go into the city, and I was like, for what?

It was like during COVID. I was like, for what? And he's like, I gotta fix something. And I'm like, you're either going to see your second family again. Yeah. Or we're getting engaged. You're buying my engagement ring. Either or.

There's really no tricking me. No. I feel like men, I feel like, we're just generalizing, but they have their routines. And the second they're off the routine, they don't know what to do. I'd like to know if any of the gigglers, like if any of their husband's boyfriends, fiancés,

whatever you're calling them at the moment, have ever actually surprised them with like, like I've always wanted a surprise birthday, my entire life. I've never said it to anyone because I wanted to be a surprise, but I think that I would never be able to receive a surprise birthday party.

Like there's just no way. But you know that you could surprise Craig in an instant. Oh my God, I'll break up with him tomorrow. Shh. Big surprise. Like, no, I mean, I could, I just surprised him with his birthday gift. I had his entire garage redone.

And the only reason it wasn't like a massive surprise is because he had so much shit in his garage that I needed like taken out and I didn't know how to do it so I like had to tell him but he had no fucking yeah full part of his house that got redone of part of his people were in the home people were doing banging. Fixing, and he's like, who are these people? That's weird. Question. What is the most embarrassing thing you pretended to like

for a man? Them. Ha ha ha. So dark. So dark. Ha ha ha ha. I thought you going to say like, Skrillex. Just there existed them. Literally.

Just everything that is them, I pretended to like it. Nothing recreationally, nothing like that I had to go and do. I mean the Ravens. Yeah. Yeah, like I, that is actually very true. Craig thinks that I'm like a legit diehard Raven fan. But really, there's like a specific cheeseburger that I get when I go to those games. And like I'm a fan of that cheeseburger.

So like I don't mind doing that. Am I gonna like travel to the ends of the earth to see the Ravens? No, I don't mind doing that. Am I gonna like travel to the ends of the earth to see the Ravens? No, I don't give a fuck. I would probably say like Gifts. Like every Gifts I've ever really got. I've never got my friend. Literally every Gifts I've ever gotten.

What about the Fiction L I got you? No, I love that. Craig is actually pretty good at getting me Gifts that I do like, but I had to like tell him. I had to like send it to him. Like, hey, I like this. I personally like, like, I would say this. Do you have a college like dubstep?

Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the foam parties and like the paint parties. Where dubstep where it was like, like, scrylic shit where, yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened is, you're like, these are started like, kind of seeing this, he was a roer. Now, roers were like the smart, oh my god, a roughly rich,

but he would do my, pre, my calculus, no, statistics, my statistics class. It was very difficult and he was really smart. So we do it. And then I pretended, he was trying to be a DJ, so I'd listen to his, him pressing buttons. Page was dark. It was such a sad time in my life. I pretended to like this man's whole career.

But he was doing my math homework and I thought it was really feminist, like getting a dude to do your math homework. I was like, okay, finance bro, fucking make it work. That's amazing. I did it and I'm not a man. Literally the only reason I ever dated my favorite ex-boyfriend just because he would do my homework. I know, we love a smart man.

I didn't even know men could read until I met Dess. So that was fun for me. Love a smart man. I love a smart man and I want him to be smarter than me, but I don't want him to think he's smarter than me. That's the real catch. Like, I want to be with a guy who's like, you are so smart. I can't make a decision without asking you, but he's actually smarter than me.

But I don't want him to know. And he's making all the decisions, but thinks that you're just like approving them. Yes. When really, I'm like,'re just like approving them. Yes. When really, I'm like, I don't even know what that means. See, this is the problem. Does this very smart, but because he's a little older, yeah, like technology wise, I'll be like, oh, babe, like this is how you open this app up

or like this how you send a gift. So like I always have that over his head. But I do just say, you know when people are like, I'm always right, like number one row of my relationships, I'm always right like never want to know my relationship I'm always right I'm literally always wrong yeah like I'm never we both are like equally like what we're all about okay I was wrong and who'd be like you were wrong and I'll be like you were wrong and he's like I was wrong like we're always wrong I don't understand this relationship like the girl that's so freaking cute I can't relate at all but that is that's so freaking cute! I can't relate at all, but that's so nice!

No, we're both very stubborn and both want to always be right to the point that two function, we have to be like, look, I was wrong. Like about what kind of stuff though? Like give me an example, like the last time you were like, I'm wrong. Like literally yesterday, he was like, I'm telling you, it's beautiful out, you're gonna regret it if you don't go out and skate. And I was like, fighting him on it, I was acting like a little brat, I was like, I'm wrong. Like literally yesterday, he was like, I'm telling you, it's beautiful out, you're gonna regret it if you don't go out and ski. And I was like, fighting him on it,

I was acting like a little brow, I was like, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go. Got there, I broke my hand, and he was like, I was wrong, I shouldn't have made you ski. It's not a beautiful day. It's not a beautiful day. And you were not gonna have the time of your life. And we moved on.

If you're with a guy who you have to babysit and you're taking care of, then it's like, yeah, I take care of you. You tell me I'm bright with everything. But I don't want to take care of anyone because I'm not capable of the admin of it all. Yes. It's the admin of it all.

It's like, I have enough hard enough time keeping myself above water that I'm like, I can't, I don't have room on my door for you. Like, it's titanic over here and I don't have room. Look, I have zero room on the door. It will both go down. I'm rose.

And I know it looks like there's room, but there's not. There's not. There's, we'll both sink if you come on my door. So please, find a different door. Okay, metaphor queen. I actually, the admin stuff is pretty funny because I walked into a restaurant in Vancouver. You know how some restaurants have like multiple doors. I'll always walk in the wrong door and I'm like sitting on someone's table. I don't know where the host stand is. I'm flailing. A giggler literally comes up to me. She was like the hostess and she was like, hey,

I'm a giggler. You're in the back of the restaurant. I know you're bad with admin. Follow me. And I was like, Oh, this is, you know it's bad when they're like see that lost girl. You know it's bad when gigglers are finding us in the wild and they're like, let us help you. They go, we know you'll come with this stuff. I got a facial from a giggler who was amazing. And she was like, I thought you're gonna be late because you're bad at admin. And I was like, it's a miracle I'm miracle. I'm here actually That's amazing. I love that. Do we have any front page news? Wait, I did see an article the other day and this just made me like so chuckle because we like you read an article

No, like I saw the headline It was on Instagram because- Wait, like you read an article? No, like I saw the headline. So it's like, come on. It's like, come on. It's not an Instagram. It's not an Instagram. It's not an Instagram caption. I forget what it was, but it was like, Leonardo DiCaprio, like someone was doing an article about how he has a new girlfriend or like him and Gigi are like,

aren't talking anymore or whatever. And there was like a quote in it that it said that Leonardo DiCaprio really doesn't like the reputation that he has of like only dating young girls and like it really hurts his feelings. And I read it and I was like, I don't know if that's reputation. I just like it just data. Yeah, I thought that's exactly what I thought. I was like, okay, so it hurts your feelings about something that you legitimately do though Like I'll like you have the power to change it like he's gaslighting us. He's like

He's literally got that's what it was. I was like wait and I Being gaslight right now. Oh people did. I mean, I guess maybe it hurts just feelings that people make fun of it If someone says a lie about you and it's everyone around town this lie about you, then like, yeah, oh my god That hurts my feelings that people think this about me and like that's annoying. But if it's something I'm You're like this isn't tell us with bad reputation time. This is you doing your thing like like we have reputation for being in bed all the time accurate Like, like we have reputation for being in bed all the time? Acquire. Acquire. 100%. You won't never see me fight on any press outlet or anything.

Like, I'm not in bed all the time. Like, people just make that up. Bitch, I am in the bed. I wanna be in the bed. That's where I feel safe. If you said to me Hannah, it hurts my feelings when people say I'm in bed all the time. I'd be like, then stop being in bed all the time. Cause you're hurting your own feelings. I also feel like Leonardo DiCaprio is one of those people where I have to say Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, you can't say Leo.

Like, I can't say like a cat's name. Yeah, I, yeah, I just like, I don't want to. Also, it's not like he had like one or two girlfriends. Like this is proven fact. If you think Leonardo DiCaprio would not notice you in a room full of women, you need to start putting on an eye cream. That's just how you know how your skin care is going. That's when you know the collagen is leaving the body,

and that's just when we go to start using retina. You know how my mom always gives me these unrealistic expectations and then is like disappointed when I don't reach them? That's a whole thing. One of them legitimately is that Leonardo DiCaprio never saw me in a club and wanted to take me out on a date. And like, that I don't date Leonardo DiCaprio. Have you never been in a club with Leonardo DiCaprio?

No, I have. Yeah, there was a 0% chance you haven't. 0% chance. I have been in a club before and I have been at his table, but sometimes tables are so close together. It looks like I could have been on this table, but in reality, I was at the table next to it, but you're all sitting in the same row. Were you like, okay, this is my moment or were you just like black out? What was the plan?

A little bit of both. I was young. I was only like, I was so maybe 23. So like I was ripe for the picking. And he was actually at a club with Justin Timberlake. And in this like club situation, you had to get to this VIP area. And I was already in it, but I had left. I don't know what I was doing if I went and got a drink at the bar or if I saw friends or something. So I wasn't actually sitting in it. And a security guard came up to me and said, hey, this table would like, if you want to go stand at it, you can.

And I was like, I'm already in there like I was so I was like I don't need to invite me into this Is that Leonardo DiCaprio's and it was Leonardo DiCaprio's but it was actually I think Justin Timberlake's table Kim is livid right now Live is throwing meatballs at the wall live it. I mean no, no I didn't like nothing happened or like I even spoke of it. I mean, no, I didn't like, nothing happened or like, I even spoke to them. I know.

Honestly, it wasn't meant to be. And I don't know. It was meant to be. I feel like he's two main character energy to like, like, I need more of like, I would, you know who I would, who I would have jumped on in a club, who like, I think that I could have dated. And this is going to be, be this is gonna be a very weird

Jonahill Jonahill is like very much my New York City type You guys this is what I mean you guys thought I was joking when I said like I like traditionally like hot blue I told gorgeous men and page once Jonahill and it's not I think Jon Jonah, but you know, Jonah Hill's funny. He's funny. He's so funny. He's so funny.

He's so funny. I love a fat man. Like I genuinely do love a fat guy. I actually, I've had crushes on fat men because there's a thing where like I'm like, I could tell he's hot, but he doesn't have all the cockiness with it and like. Yeah.

And like there's something. I really like that. Also Jonah Hill has a very different type of swag Jonah hit Hill has the swag of style of like a six three man you know like he yes oh yeah okay I'm having a lot of weird feelings and he has two of the greatest memes of all time when he's like happy with his hands up I use that all the time. And the one where he's holding his his coffee and the coffee is falling out. That is just what about the life is day to day.

What about the one where he's running up to Leonardo DiCaprio and pretending to be a fan and like harassing him? I've always wanted me and you to recreate that. Wait, I'm obsessed with that shit. I think he's engaged. No, they broke it off. Girl, if you think I'm not keeping up with my man, they broke it off. I told you something.

What? Do you know I'm friends with his mom? Okay, I've met his mom too, but I was, like, I met his mom. She's amazing. She has an incredible organization. She's so nice. But I haven't spoken to her in years because when I met her, I was in like, I met his mom. She's amazing. She has an incredible organization. She's so nice. But I haven't spoken to her in years because when I met her, I was an assistant. And she would call me to like make up,

like meetings with my boss. So like, that's how I knew her. Because she's very successful costume designer. What a talented family. Okay. Such a talented family. But his fiance was like a blonde surfer. So like, I don't know if I fit the vibe,

but you never know. I know. Maybe he was going through like a weird California thing. He's a New York guy at heart. Yeah, he definitely is. Have you watched his whole thing on therapy on Netflix? We love a man who's in therapy. I went like halfway through it

and I was getting overwhelmed, but it's really good. It's really good. Paige, you know who people don't talk enough about as being like the hottest guy in the world though? Like the hottest. And it's not Brad Pitt. Okay. It's not Jason Samoa.

It's Mamoa. It's not Timothy Chevrolet. I don't know why I thought you were gonna say Jason DeRuello. It's not Jason DeRuello. George Clooney. It's not Clooney. Give me an age range,

because I'd love to guess this out of your brain. Oh, I love this. little George Clooney. It's not Clooney. Give me an age range, because I'd love to guess this out of your brain. Oh, I love this. Okay, 40s. 40s. And he's also like loaded and people don't talk about it. He's hilarious, people don't talk about it. He's funny, he's so hot.

Is he, can you give me what his occupation, like performer, comedian, actor? Actor. Wow, actor in his 40s, and he's so obvious. It's so obvious. It's gonna hit you in the face. Okay, my vibe is I'm going through, I'm going in my head, I'm going like Paul Rudd, Jason Bateman. No, he's a gorgeous, stunning.

Like a legitimately attractive gorgeous. And he's an actor. Is he a movie actor? Is he a TV actor? He started on TV. And he has a very cute relationship. Fuck! Okay, he started on TV.

He has a very cute relationship. He's so hot, he's funny. He met this girl on the TV show. The gig was a screaming. Ashen Kutcher. Ashen Kutcher. I mean, punked. How so hot?

There's something so hot about him pulling the string. He's also like a good man. Like they do so much charity work. They do so many things for like sex trafficking and child abuse. They're like good people. I don't even care that they don't bathe their children every day.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't bathe every day. They are. They're what I want. I don't even care that they don't bathe their children every day. I don't care. I don't care. I don't bathe every day. They are what I want a celebrity couple to be. Like as in like they exist, you know they're alive, but like they're not like Ben Affleck and Jennifer, what up, J.J. Loathe, like walking through Madison Square Park and like matching outfits and being like, oh my god, why do we have so much press? Okay.

Milla and Ashton, Emily, Blunt and John Krasinski. Yeah, Ryan Reynolds Blake lively, top three couples of all time. I do have to say, Ryan Reynolds and Blake lively are a little too funny, that I'm like, what are we hiding? They do like roll each other all the time, where there has to be a little undertone. They're so cute that I'm like, do hate each other all the time where there has to be a little undertone They're so cute that I'm like do hate each other

No, I love I love their relationship. I think Ryan Reynolds is like a little too perfect that I'm like what's going on Like is he a serial killer? He's a little too pretty very pretty very funny very smart very kind what's wrong? right So I'm I'm not saying it's an army hammer situation. I'm just saying, keep an eye out. Keep one eye open. Oh my god. I'm a very successful army hammer like on a different level. Oh my god. Talk about bad taste in men. Like I quite possibly picked the worst man possible in the populations be like I love him all Mary And he's so nice. How do you go from him to Jonah Hill like what's going on up there? I mean army hammer is still so fucking hot

But I just know that I would vibe so hard with Jonah Hill I actually dated a guy who reminded me a lot of Jonah Hill like at one point in my 20s. But I just like, I couldn't. I was young, I was wild, I was free. Okay. Okay. Finally, I want, I wrote in from page news,

Pam Anderson, because I feel like she's having such a redemption moment. That makes me so fucking happy. And she's doing it in a I feel like she's having such a redemption moment. That makes me so fucking happy. And she's doing it in a way where she's not being over sexualized. She's being herself. People are like, she's like funny and smart and cool and laid back into her cast again, hard working. And I'm like, this is all, this is incredible.

And then she talks about how she always keeps a thong and her purse as an extra thong to have, or to just put her hair up in a messy bun. And I was like, she's not only gorgeous, but she's a genius. When she said, like in the 90s, when you saw my hair up in those buns, like 90% of the time it was a thong holding it up because I think it gave it like a little extra volume. Also I saw a tic-toc that said, Pamela Anderson's face is an amazing example for women who started getting Botox, stopped getting Botox, and were scared like if I stopped getting it, I won't look as good. Pamela Anderson has like full mobility in her forehead, but like still look, like I think she still looks good, but like I

guess she doesn't get Botox anymore. So she had like some preventative. I think so, and I think she still looks good, but I guess she doesn't get Botox anymore. So she had some preventative? I think so, and I think people are always nervous. If I stop getting it, well my whole face sag, but I don't particularly think she looks like saggy. I think she looks her age, but in a really gorgeous... Yeah, like an aging, I know you hate to turn aging gracefully, but I feel like that's what it is. Yeah, I mean, she would look insane if she had just like tried to paralyze her face and

pull it back to the point that she looked like someone left old Pamela Anderson in a microwave. She looks more natural. Yeah, I do have to say though, like I wanna see her with full brows, but I feel like we flux so hard in the 90s. But then again, they're like becoming stylish again. Everyone wants to look like Pamela Anderson now. I could never, I could never do a thin brow.

Well, we'll work on the bleaching later. Is there any other front page news? No, that was really it. We have like, we this podcast episode took a journey. Yeah, we took a journey. It was pretty intense. Only a couple of times. Only throughout the one string is pod. But I realize I highly recommend ski patrol. Like if you're hungry, if you're stressed, just call ski patrol and they're amazing. I highly recommend it.

Okay, you write down on the toboggan and you never know, you can meet your husband. Five stars is all I have to say about that. Guys, we're coming to Nashville, Texas. Check us out. I will say I just started doing my outfits for our Texas Giggly Squad Tour. So, we got him so excited. Are we doing cowgirl boots?

We're doing full cowgirl for Nashville, Austin, Dallas, Houston. We're going cowgirl boots. We're doing full cowgirl for a Nash filled Austin Dallas Houston. We're going full country. We're us. I'm Jim Faith Hill came. Two on a ratios. Oh my god. Manifest.

Not too hard though. Not too hard. Love you guys. Bye. you