Giggly Squad - Giggling about how to gossip, foot fetishes, and work crushes
Episode Date: July 26, 2023We are in a mood from the weekend. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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What's up, my glorious gigglers? I don't think I did that one. No, it was just like such an obvious word too. Oh yeah, never said it. Glorious bastard gigglers. How are you?
I'm shook.
You are.
I'm a little shooketh.
Okay.
I tell myself I want to approach the podcast
with positive sane energy and I always come in
like I just got chucked off a train,
which I did as an LA double-hour.
You know, you just came from an EDM concept.
Also known as the LA double-hour,
which is a train from West Hampton's New York City
that, let's just say, the fire island stop. It was wild. Like, people are still drunk.
Yeah, they're, and you could tell like these two had a fight all weekend. These two, like,
hooked up and now they're never going to talk again. So I was like taking a line.
Yeah, and Sunday from coming home from like a different area.
Not just like peer like, oh, you party, you went out, you woke up in your bed, like coming,
traveling on Sunday is a different anxiety.
You have to like take off your mask of like the fun person you were and be like, okay,
let's go back to my like daily misery. And I also realized that I am.
I tried to be fashionable.
I started to get like other bags.
I used to just have one dirty bag.
Now I have like a little bag, a medium bag,
a big bag, a straw bag, a leather bag.
How do you not lose everything in every fucking bag?
Because my passport is in my brown bag,
my medium sized brown bag in West Hampton at this moment,
because my little bag is here.
And now I have to get an Uber to bring the passport so I can go to Montreal, because I forgot
that Montreal was not in America.
That is, I forget that also.
And I actually looked at my passport today and was like, don't forget your passport this
week.
You can't do admin at all,
but I will say if you frequent my Amazon storefront,
it has a bag organizer in it.
So that like every time you switch bags,
you're not really switching bags,
you're switching the inside of it.
So everything stays in one place.
Do you remember that show where like the Japanese kids were like three years old and they were
doing like basic life admin? Yes. I want to be a contestant on that show. Like me versus
a three year old Japanese kid. Like go to USPS and mail a box. Why are you going to Montreal
today? So tomorrow morning, oh my God, I'm doing, so I'm doing this crowd work show on
Wednesday called Surrounded where you stand in the middle of a crowd.
No, no, no.
This is what happened.
I had a load too many crowd work TikToks
and now they're putting me in the middle of a crowd.
And guess who's also in the line up?
Like, everyone's sitting.
Everyone's sitting in the middle.
Marlon Wayne's is on the line up, though.
Wow.
From White Chicks.
Yep.
So I'm going to be like, very nervous.
I'm already nervous.
You know that I can't watch you and if I fart
There's nowhere for it to go
You're not going anywhere. No one's thought about that
So yeah, and then we're doing the gig de squad show Montreal
I'm so excited for that. So you're in Canada. Are you gonna have Putin?
Putin
I had it one other time, but it doesn't really count,
because I got it from Mowendis.
Because it was my first time in Canada,
and I was about to leave, and I was like,
I can't leave without having it.
Because the girl who made me eat at a margaritaville in Nashville,
this is become a pattern.
First of all, that was just a lie.
Apologize.
Oh no, I did make you.
Yes, I did.
Okay, can you apologize for making me apologize? Anyway, how was your week? That was just a lie. Apologize. Oh, no, I did make you. Yes, you did.
Yes, I did.
Okay, can you apologize for making me apologize?
Anyway, how is your weekend?
My weekend was good, but I want to tell you this really funny thing that happened.
I don't know if I'm becoming more introverted, like as I get older, or if I'm just becoming
more...
Pired?
Yeah.
Just fed up.
But I feel like I'm more in my head than ever.
Like recently.
So I'm sitting on the couch last night
and I have like an L-shaped couch.
So my head is here.
My legs are this way.
Okay.
The only couch you should have.
So Craig is, his legs are going like diagonal, okay?
So his legs are like, by my waist, we're not like lined up together.
They're like, like, that's like by my waist.
We're watching TV, we're like, there's food, like, we're not talking.
Like, we're just like, it's a normal.
Sounds like a perfect situation.
It's like a perfect, amazing.
I'm having this time in my life, honestly.
Last night was the best night I've had in the long time.
We're in that speaking.
I'm thinking of something, like I don't know
what I'm even thinking in my head,
but I look at his legs and I just push them off.
The couch, I just push them right off.
And I am literally turned to him and look at him.
And he looks at me and he just goes,
what the fuck?
And I go, I don't know.
Like I genuinely didn't think about doing that in my head.
I just saw it and I had to do it.
Like I had to get you out.
I feel like there's two types of old people.
There's the old person who's just like grumpy, quiet,
rude, doesn't care. And you're just like, she's been through a lot, leave her alone. There's the old person who's just like grumpy quiet rude doesn't care and
you're just like she's been through a lot. There's no changing her now that's
who she is. And there's the old person who's just saying wild shit. I think that's
gonna be me. Like I have no filter. I'm just gonna say shit and you're gonna be
like grandma. You can think it. Actually I was asking a lot of I know this is like a
cliche question but I was asking a lot of people the past week and like if you
Got into like a brain trauma
Make it so dark. She's like so it's going to people at the bar and I was like quick question if you like almost had no cracks
If you were worm if you had amnesia something happened you couldn't remember anything and nobody told you how old you were and you just had to guess
Like what would you guess that's such a good question.
I'm 43.
Yeah.
Some people said, some people went, like, super young
to, like, 19, and I was like,
you...
That was the guys, right?
Yeah, there were, yeah.
Guys are 19 until they turned 72,
and then they're like, I think I'm 40.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was like, wow, you didn't have trauma of like dating a drug dealer at 19.
Like almost getting your tongue pierced.
Like, you haven't lived.
How old are you?
I said, I had a really boring answer.
I said 26.
So you're holding on to the peak here?
That's when I think I peaked.
Thank you.
Wait, that's when we met.
Oh my God, wait, that's so cute.
I don't think you peaked.
No, I don't think I did.
I peaked at 28.
I think I'm the best like I've ever been right now.
You think that at every age though.
No, I've been ugly as shit until like, well, I got tan this summer.
I'm in a very delusional cocky state right now
that I'm tan.
You are a tan.
You're nails look great.
No, I'm like in a bad place right now.
What?
I'm intolerable.
Okay.
I fully spent like an hour planning on like,
if I should start a foot only fans,
like I do like a docuseries about it because one person Michael Bowsing told me that I have
potential in my foot because I have a nice arch.
One guy.
Take your foot, Papa.
Oh, that's sweaty.
You do have a you do a high arch.
No, like I think I I've been sitting on a gold mine.
Standing, if you will.
And I think if I could figure out how to like make good money through like feet finder
only fans, whatever.
It is so good that you've never tried drugs because this is like a cocaine conversation.
You're like, I have this business idea.
It's like this place where everyone sits and they eat.
And I think it's, I think it's, do you get to decide what they eat?
And if they don't like the food, they're like, that's a restaurant.
You know me.
What got you here?
What got you to like, oh, I'm going to think about this for an hour.
So I was thinking about Pete the patriarchy. And I was thinking about the amount of women that don't
realize they can make good money doing this kind of stuff of guys who have this weird foot fetish.
Yeah. So I'm thinking if I could do it first, because I'm approved, if I could figure it out
and have a system, then all the other girlies can be like, okay, Hannah did it. This is how I can do it.
And then they can all start making serious money. These guys want to give us money for our fee.
Why aren't we doing it? Like, men will DM me. Yeah. They want a why do you get you get so many
weird. I don't get any normal DMs. I think it's because you used to be really big on Twitter.
Like, you were you were a starter in the Twitter sphere,
is how I think of you.
Twitter is a scary place.
Now I think you're crushing threads.
I actually quit threads yesterday.
I retired.
Are people threading?
I don't know.
I haven't looked at it since the day you made me download it.
And by make me, I just like, I saw you do it
and then I was like, oh, go grab it.
What kind of DMs do you get?
All girls.
Every single DM I get is a girl.
And if I get a guy DMing me, it's someone's husband
asking for a happy birthday for their life.
So like I'm, but I've never, I feel like I used to have
boyfriends that would think that I lied to them.
Which I do.
But yeah, you just about different things.
Other things. Other stuff.
But I've never gotten like male.
Oh, I thought you meant like literal male.
No, like males in my DMs.
I'm trying to find this one message that I got
and I will find it of this man
who sent me the strangest thing.
So would this be like a long form tutorial or like a short
document around it? I wanted to be like me and you sitting there and I'm like we just started
following friends and we're laughing we're laughing and then we start to get serious like
see you for a nascrap. Yeah and then I I immediately call it Michael, and I'm like, Michael, you love feet.
How do I basically do a miscongeniality
for my ugly feet?
Like right now, there's hair on the toes.
Some people might like the hair,
but I have to see where you posting it.
Probably YouTube, because I don't know,
I don't think where you most senior feet.
Where is this, where is this, where is this,
where does the exchange happen?
That's a good, I have to find out from Michael,
where are the foot lovers?
Are they on foot finder?
Are they on, I think only fans?
Well, that's the thing, I have to figure it out
for the girlies. Okay.
And then once I do, I'm gonna come out with an ebook
for free where the girlies can download
and say, okay, these are the steps.
You're always hustling.
I'm always hustling.
And this, I was telling my friend,
she was like, you have a full world tour.
Yeah, starting in September, when you're gonna do this.
And I said, valid point.
On tour, she's walking, she's running.
She's running through airports.
These feet have seen places, you know?
And maybe guys are into callous feet.
Maybe they like that one of my toenails
is learning to love herself still because of the ski ox.
I'll do a cameo.
I feel like you're making this about you right now.
No, I'm always thinking about.
I have one feature that now is supposed to be pretty
and you're like, oh, I'm gonna try.
You're fucking, you're a limited to model.
I want to, if you started a foot only pants
and I blew up over mine, I would be like,
it was my one chance to be beautiful.
I'm not, I'm not going to,
but I can't wait to see your pictures.
Did you remember guys suck on your teeth?
My teeth.
I'm so tired right now.
Sometimes when we two giggly squad,
I feel like I am high.
No, I'm not okay.
Have I ever had a guy suck on my toes? No. Again, like I don't ever get asked to do weird things.
No guys DM me, I don't get asked to do weird things.
I think I'm a lesbian.
Wait, you're gonna save me some new foot fixes like when I send news to you.
When you send me your news and they're so like I wish I could share them because no one
would understand how artsy you are.
It's behind our paywall.
We have like Kingley's got only fans of the news.
We send each other the girl he's comment like okay the lighting is so good in this.
Okay, this is my last freaky DM.
A guy goes this was on TikTok.
Okay.
Hey sorry to bug you. What do you think about the intro? I love that
He's apologetic. He's already apologizing for the picture. I see. I see. Okay. I don't
So he knows he's self-aware. He knows he's bugging me. Yes. So far I don't I don't mind that but if you would please let me
I would explain three hard fought reasons on why you should date me. Okay. I
Don't respond. Mm-hmm. Because he's bugging me. Okay. I don't respond.
Mm-hmm.
Because he's bugging me.
I think a couple of days later, he goes,
you're not even a little curious question mark.
A couple of days later, he goes, fine.
I'll give them to the bis here.
One, I do stand up comedy as well, Red Flag.
Two, I'm a chef with good health insurance.
A chef, Red Flag. True, Red Flag. Two, I'm a chef with good health insurance. A chef, red flag.
True red flag.
What?
Yeah, literally.
You're only wearing the merch.
Three, on the side of these two gigs,
if a man has more than two gigs,
he lives in his mom's basement.
He's a drug dealer.
Two separate gigs?
No, get one big gig.
If I'm a podcaster stand up and foot model, I can do it.
Cause women are multifaceted.
That's different. We're in STEM.
Yeah, we're in STEM.
Cause I heard someone talking about STEM the other day
and I literally turned to Craig and I was like,
I think they're like stealing my enhanced joke
and Craig was, I think they're actually trying to
get STEM actually.
And I was like, oh yeah.
I like, forgot it was like a real thing.
It really came up with the whole thing.
Someone yelled woman in STEM at my show last week.
I've been saying women in the arts a lot.
Three, on the side of these two gigs,
I work as a tantric masseuse educating women
on how to orgasm.
Immediate.
Do what you want with this information.
No, I do give like guys a lot of credit, though, for.
It's full resume.
Yeah, for just sending an outlandish message like that.
Did they stop?
Were they, I like to think of when they're
in the moment of doing it.
Was there something else written and they deleted it
and they're like, no, it's too much.
The most fucked up thing.
Did they check their grammar?
You have to know where your audience is.
Like that gave us so many X.
If he was just like, hey, I'm 67.
Yeah.
That would have done so much more than your whole resume.
Also, why are you assuming that I don't know how to orgasm?
So anyway, this is what we're not
to deal with on a daily basis,
which is why I'm turning to feet.
Well, keep me in the loop.
Yeah, keep me in the loop.
In the sandal loop.
For what's happening with your feet
and where you're gonna sell it, what you're gonna do.
I'm just about maximizing my potential on this planet
and I feel like it's just an untapped revenue source.
I would love to know people that want to do it.
The reasons they're not doing it.
Is it just because if someone found out,
it's like a,
you would do amazing.
It's fun of or it's like a you would get made fun of or like it's too
Like it's embarrassing
That's a foot police
I think not I think it's the
Lowe's in the notes my feet
You know how Jennifer Lopez had there was like a rumor that both of her
But cheeks were insured for like millions of dollars. I've never heard that rumor
But that's I might have just made it up.
Yeah, that's what I would like be.
I think I've heard like models' legs,
like Heidi Klum's legs were insured.
Do you think it's an IK for a guy to have a best friend?
Like he goes, that's my best friend.
I actually don't know.
I don't think so.
Chris, do you have a best friend?
Yeah.
See, I got the IK. See, I actually think know. I don't think so. Chris, do you have a best friend? Yeah.
See, I got the egg.
See, I actually think it's so cute.
There's something about, there's something
about two guys hanging out with each other.
That's non-sexual.
That's not a sexual act.
But when I see two guys walking down the street
hanging out with each other, I find it like arousing. Like it's like,
what are you doing?
I told you, it was gonna be...
You guys know the difference between like best friend
and boyfriend, right?
Let me explain myself better.
When guys like, tap up, we love...
We love a tap.
We love that.
Like they're saying hi to each other.
I like when they sit and like are talking to each other
and laughing with each other.
I like to watch male camaraderie.
That's I think how I would explain it.
So no, I don't I don't find it to be an Ick.
I find it to be an Ick.
Do you say like this is my best friend?
No.
In your head, you're like my best friend just texted me.
Yeah, I get all giddy about it.
Like when she asked, do you have a best friend whose name popped into your head first?
What's his name?
Pat.
Do you live with best friend whose name popped into your head first? What's his name? Agpatt.
Do you live with him?
No.
Because sometimes I feel like guys make their roommate their best friend where I feel...
It's situational.
Yeah, it's situational.
What do you like the most about Pat?
It's funny.
Men are so simple.
I actually almost choked one of my male friends to death this last week.
Because he ran into someone in my life
that like the tea was piping hot.
Yeah.
Like I was like, he was like,
they were talking about you and I was standing there.
And I was like, oh my, please tell me you got a microphone.
You like turned down the air conditioning.
That was a girl.
She would have texted you in moment
being like, wait till I fucking tell you what's happening
to me.
And we were right to our car ride.
And I was like, get the popcorn.
I'm ready to fucking go. And he was like, yeah, to our car ride, and I was like, get the popcorn. I'm ready to fucking go.
And he was like, yeah, they brought you up.
And I was like, yep, they said, what?
Did they say, what did they say?
It's over, it's over, they're beginning,
it's over the beginning.
And he was like, yeah, they were like, it's, yeah.
And I was like, no, no, no, from the beginning,
from the beginning.
Women should never be condemned for gossiping.
We literally gossip because we're smarter,
because we can remember more things.
Guys just can't gossip because they can't remember shit.
He basically was like, yeah, he was like,
it's really funny how Hannah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
and I go, okay, that's good information.
How did that start?
Let's circle back to the da, da, da, da, da, da.
Yes.
And let's elaborate.
I'm like, and I wanna know the energy in the room.
I wanna know like what might have,
what was his, like, facing you?
Did he bring me up first?
Did you bring up?
When the other person was talking,
what was, was he like, fidgeting?
Was it like, was he smiling when he was saying it?
I think he was saying it in a different tone.
I do have to say when I got to,
I will add to the story.
Like, I'm, yeah, you're gonna make it better.
I'm enhancing it.
I'm making it like,
like, incredible story. I'm a natural born story teller. I'm like, you're gonna make it better. I'm enhancing it. I'm making it like a horrible story.
Like a horrible story.
I'm sorry, Tyler.
And I will come up with a thesis and conclusion based on what happened being like so overall
he's obsessed with you.
It was embarrassing.
Everyone around was like, this man can't stop talking about her.
Everyone got weird.
So I will add those things that possibly aren't healthy.
I don't talk shit.
I tell a story.
I entertain people.
No, when I like FaceTime, you have something to say.
I don't just tell you what happened.
I'm giving you a play.
I'm a playwright.
I'm setting a scene.
I got so hard with my mom, so hard, that we'll circle back.
And she'll be like,
and now what was everyone wearing during that?
And I'm like, girl,
if you have another hour, I will tell you.
No, it does.
We'll get so annoyed with me
because I'll have a good story for him
and I go, okay,
because I need to add tension to the story.
You can't just tell them what happened.
You have to build, and it goes,
I'll need the details.
I'll need the details.
I need to literally like men watching porn.
You know how they fast forward to just the com shot? I don't want the com, I don't need the details. I need to literally like men watching porn. You know how they fast forward to just the cum shot?
I don't want the cum shot.
I want to know.
Was she nervous?
How long did a taker take a bra off?
Bassa Pinging is basically sex.
If there's no four-play, it's not gonna work.
Put some lube in it before you dry finger fuck me.
Okay?
So this guy literally was like, yeah, he said this about you
and I was like, I could not get any details
out of this man and he said, I realized that's just men.
Yeah.
My favorite sentence for one of my girlfriends to say is,
oh, when I forgot this.
When I hear, oh, when I forgot this, I get wet.
I literally...
When I call Paige for gossip,
first I let her do the initial, what comes to mind.
And I let her sit and things start coming out of a dark, dark abyss from her past that
she's suppressed.
I feel like I'm on ayahuasca and I'm purging everything into my body.
Do you remember the one time Hannah and I were in, I don't know what city we were in,
we were getting our hair and makeup done for Gagli's Pancho.
And we had not seen each other in, not that long, but in girl world quite long.
Like it was maybe two weeks,
but that's like, we changed this book.
That's years in Guy World.
How many traumas could you have in two weeks a lot?
Seven mentee bees in just like straight.
And we're talking so hard at each other
that I like gasp for air at one time.
And the makeup artist was not only shook,
but she started having heart palpitation.
She was like, I am nervous for whoever you're talking about.
Because she doesn't realize you guys fucking hate her.
And Hannah goes, oh no, we've never met her.
I'm sweating.
She's like, I can't even put makeup on you right now
because you were sweating for feasely during this gossip session.
But this is the crazy thing.
That's what he is an extreme sport.
And I'll never apologize for it.
It's like after a date, I don't want to know what happened.
I want to know the meaning behind it, how it changed your life path,
how it changed his life path.
Men will literally be like, who's good?
Yeah, they go as fine.
My worst situation is when Des gets gossip
about other people, which is pure just like,
good father.
Father.
Good father.
Thatting.
And I'll be like, yeah, I'm like,
is he still with his girlfriend?
And I'll be like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm like, you played 18 holes a golf.
The first hole a golf I'm playing with a girl,
I know her-
Dating history.
For Dating history.
What her sign is.
If she's a sign is.
If she's a sign is.
She do the filter on TikTok.
What did that say?
Are you guys compatible?
If she's getting along with her,
everyone in her family,
how her family's doing,
if her brother's still with his girlfriend,
you don't even know if he's with his girlfriend.
No, it's insane.
That's a question.
What do they talk about?
I don't know what guys talk about.
Well, while they're golfing,
I feel like it's a very specific time.
Like when they talk about things.
One thing they do when golfing is they'll be like,
yeah, we talk about like dude stuff.
We do like dirty jokes.
And I'm like, what joke is so dirty?
You can't say hi from the,
but you can't say I'm one of me.
You just like do stuff.
I'm like, oh, you're talking about like fucking chicks
and you're all old and married.
That's fun.
That's cool.
Also, I'm so much grosser than I ever
ever even said I'm a dog.
I say way dirtier things.
Sometimes I'll say something like so dirty that that crag will literally
be like, oh, like the met like, why would you say that?
You look like making him uncomfortable. Yeah, I love it.
He gets uncomfortable sometimes if I say fuck and just like to aggressive of a tone. He's like,
oh my god, harsh. Oh my god, wait, I didn't tell you this.
He's like, oh my God, harsh. Oh my God, wait, I didn't tell you this.
So I am just like living my life in my apartment.
I'm living, you know?
S living.
S living.
And I get an email that my like storage unit
that I have in my apartment, like in like where
my trash area is.
I think a storage unit.
And I get an alert that like my payment is due on it. So I like I pay my. Do you have crap in there? Yeah, I think a storage unit. And I get an alert that my payment is due on it.
So I pay my...
Do you have crap in there?
Yeah, I have stuff in there.
Good for you.
So I pay my storage unit and I'm like,
oh, it looks like they double charged me.
Let me email the guy and just make sure...
Okay, admin queen.
Literally, it just makes such an adult.
So I email the guy, because I'm like,
oh, let me just double check on this
that they're not double charging me.
I was in fact wrong.
They weren't double charging me, but you know, just better safe than sorry.
Yeah.
So I'm emailing with the guy, whatever.
Later in that week, I get an email from my building saying like, if you haven't said
like what storage unit is yours, like we're putting locks on them, we're clearing them all out
and like, everything's gone by Monday.
But I had already been emailing with the guy,
he knew which number my storage unit was.
Like, I didn't think that I was one of those people, right?
Another week goes by, I have to go into my storage unit
because I keep extra hangers in there
when I'm not using them.
How big is the storage unit?
Like, could a body fit?
Couple of them.
Yeah, but it's like a cage.
Like, you can like see through.
It's like a cave.
People keep their bikes in there.
I keep my winter clothes.
That's my ski.
It's done.
Your ski gear.
My ski gear.
Which is a lot.
How many accessories do you need to get on?
No, it's sold on a mountain.
You could thrift in my sword unit In my store, June, okay?
So I go in there the one day and I notice
that there is an extra lock on my lock
or on my store, June.
And I, for whatever reason, I'm infuriated.
Like I get so fucking mad, I email them and I'm like,
hey, there's a lock on my store, June.
Everyone's like a way for Fourth of July.
I'm like, it's an emergency.
I need my skier in August.
A tap.
It wasn't an emergency, but I was so mad.
Yeah, it's a joke.
If I'm gonna pay double for my storage unit.
So I'm telling my dad the story.
Oh, you got your parents involved? And I'm livid. I'm'm telling my dad the story. Oh, you got your parents involved.
And I'm livid.
I'm fucking livid telling this story.
And he's like, oh my god, you sound like me.
Calm down.
Your ski stuff isn't there.
You don't need anything.
And I go, it's the point.
And I go, so you know what I do?
You know what I did, dad?
And he was like, what?
And I go, I bought bolt cutters and I cut it off.
Wait, wait, wait.
You psycho-packed.
He goes, you're a fucking psycho.
Did you get it on Amazon?
Yes.
Is it on your Amazon store for a while?
No, but I'm gonna add it.
I'm gonna add it in accessories.
Help.
What is a bolt cutter look like?
It's my new favorite toy.
And I'm going to start cutting everything.
If you piss me off, I will fucking bolt cut your neck off.
Wait, so it comes in and it's heavy.
It was heavy.
I was like, what is this?
It's like, those are my bolt cutters.
Who's like, what possible reason?
Don't worry about it.
I'm in there, snaps right off.
I had the thought, like, should I do the present next to me,
just help them out?
I got it now. What if they really didn't pay for their storage unit fuck those people?
Right in there got my hangers. What about my day? I felt like Tony soprano. I'm terrified of you. Yeah people should be
Did you put it in the storage unit?
No, it's in my it's's in my, my whole closet,
in case I ever, if anyone is ever in danger,
I come to my apartment.
I just envisioned you just for fun stealing bikes outside.
I just went to the people's house.
I just turned into like the New York City menace,
and I'm just like,
I'm just like,
like you get a system that I that's what I'm saying.
But learn it's like petite woman wielding a bulk cover.
I'm 37 straight.
How'd you bike? How'd you ride?
Pages on the lips.
I don't know what possessed me,
but it was my first thought too,
which is actually so scary.
My first thought was, fuck it, I'll buy a bulk.
Did you not have that one moment
where you were trying to be Indiana Jones
and you tried to guess what the log was?
Like, never, I would never.
I couldn't even do it in high school.
I need a combination.
I still couldn't fucking do it.
Do you still have nightmares?
Not being able to open your combination log?
Yeah, I'm just gonna burn you in.
And I was next to the same girl all four years,
Deanna and she was like,
are you ever gonna fucking figure out?
I used to not lock it.
No one's stealing my fucking logs.
Do you remember when they told you like,
you go one way, then you have to go twice the other way
and you're like, this could be a problem.
I was like, I didn't pass year one algebra.
You fucking think I can figure this out.
I'm born to be a podcaster.
I'm not Albert Einstein.
No, I have those nightmares all the time.
Oh, just Admin.
Oh my God.
Anyway, what do you think about?
Should we get into compagion?
Yeah, that's gonna do.
I mean, there's a lot going on.
What do you think about Ariana?
Probably.
Okay, this is, I'm not.
Don't judge.
I'm not.
You were not.
I'm not.
I'm gonna preface this with, I'm not being mean.
Which means you're gonna be so fucking mean right now.
Oh.
We're sweet.
Let me get this out.
You know what they say?
That when people get like a dog,
they end up like looking like their dog
or like looking like their animal.
Yeah.
Why is Ariana doing that with her boyfriends?
Like, there was a picture of them
sitting next to each other
and like she looks like a natural born red head.
Like with her like really blonde tear
and like really pale skin.
Is that for the movie or is she going through something?
I don't know.
Is she an emite?
Oh, she's playing Wicked.
I just haven't seen Wicked.
Well, Chris, does the princess and Wicked have to have blonde hair?
There's no princess.
Guys, guys, come on. It's... Wicked is... Which? Chris, does the princess and wicked have to have blood here? There's no princess.
Guys, guys, come on.
It's...
Wicked is...
Which?
No, fucking Dorothy.
Like the two wicked, which of the east, which of the...
Yes.
Wicked, which of the west.
Is she Doris?
She's Glenda, the nice one.
I missed it.
Did you not watch it?
I never saw it.
You've never seen the Wizard of Oz?
No, I saw the Wizard of Oz.
Okay, it's basically that, but like about the witches.
Don't man-spin-spin-spin-spin.
Well, I'm just like,
I'm-spin-spin-spin.
Did you have a ch...
Literally, I'll get Lenore on the phone.
Too hard, it is to get Broadway tickets to Wicked.
I went for my 16th birthday.
Let me tell you, one of the best snaps I've ever taken
in my fucking life.
You know who would love Wicked?
Craig. Craig. Okay. Such know who would love wicked? Craig.
Craig.
Okay.
Such an egg.
I hate musicals.
So I'm gonna take a different stance on this.
Okay.
When I saw this man's photo, I thought obviously, because if you actually think about it,
Mack Miller, him, Pete Davidson, she loves a non-traditionally hot guy.
This guy, this guy, again, I'm not being mean. This guy isn't not traditionally hot.
This man's just, this man's not hot.
Can I throw you into the bus for a second?
Sure.
Paige once was hooking up with a guy.
Don't even.
Who, she told we cannot be seen out in public.
I never said that to his face.
I would never say that to him.
This guy was so good in bed,
but he was so difficult to look at.
I said, you don't know me in public.
We will leave in different entrances of the.
That's not true.
I did go out with him a lot in public.
But you didn't let him like walk next to me.
That's all I had. You're embalishing it.
It was.
It was like a secret affair.
Yeah, it was whatever.
So I, first of all, I think we're not
factoring the guy's personality.
And then a girl did say on TikTok.
And I wish I could credit her.
I forgot.
Some comedians girls said, I was not in a school like singing play could credit her, I forgot, some comedienne girl said.
If I was not in a school like singing play, have you been in school singing musical play?
I have actually in like middle school, but no.
Were you good? No.
Could you sing? No.
Who cast to do?
What were you cast as?
I'm gonna be honest, there was one girl in our class
that could sing really, really good.
And she was like, oh, he's singing. And I was like, like what the fuck like I could sing too. And so then I made my
mom get me singing lessons for two years and at the end of the two years my mom was like
my mom's a legit singer got me singing lessons and I almost like you think we're done with this
we're probably done with this now right. After my first lesson the woman checked herself into rehab
this now, right? After my first lesson, the woman checked herself into rehab.
Was never the same.
She got never seen me.
I remember the feedback was she moves her head really weird when she's singing.
Not even a note on my voice.
She was like, why?
Because I thought to go, hi, you had to lift your head up.
You had to lift your head down.
I was 17.
Anyway, the girl on TikTok, she goes, if you've never been in musical theater, you never know
the feeling of the one straight guy
in the play who can sing.
So I don't wanna.
But she's trying to say that when you're in a play,
it's very intense, and then there's like one straight dude,
and you're just like, he's it.
It's like an office crush.
Yes. Like he could literally be disgusting,
but he's the only guy in the office with potential.
If you, that is such a good like PSA, if you have an office crush and you're literally
about to risk it all for this office crush, I highly, highly recommend going out into
the wild with this man.
Yes.
This happens to be my first office job.
I found the one straight guy in our office and I like had a boyfriend at the time and I was
like, do I love this fucking guy?
No, I have, he works in the mail room.
He is from California.
I think he's my husband.
I went out with his man one time into the wild for 20 minutes.
And I was like, no, there was this one guy at my sales job.
And all the sales guys were like cocky.
They were like, good looking, but I was sick of them.
And there was this one guy who worked in marketing
who was so shy, he was like six six six or something.
He had a lazy eye, but I like lazy.
And he would go and get water right behind me.
So obviously I was like, oh, he's thirsty again.
And he would ignore me so much.
Like so shy ignored me.
And all the sales guys were so chatty.
So the one guy who ignored me.
We do that a lot. If he's ignoring you, we're like, no, so shy, ignored me. And all these sales guys were so chatty. So the one guy who ignored me. We do that a lot.
If he's ignoring you, we're like, no, he's just so shy.
When I found out he had a girlfriend,
it was like my world was over.
I was like, how could he do this to us?
Okay, you do this to me.
Yeah.
I didn't want to go to work,
because it gives you a purpose.
A work crush gives you a purpose.
That happens to me in airports when I like spot my husband.
Yeah, I'm like that 10.
Yeah.
And then like his wife will walk over and I'm like,
are you kidding?
I'm like, oh, you sent her to me.
Could you do this to me?
She was getting you snacks.
Fuck that bitch.
I'm never gonna recover from this.
And I would make my, I would put it up in my mind,
like for the one interaction a day with him.
So I'd be like, what is it gonna be?
What are we gonna do?
What is it gonna be?
And it was always me being like, hey,
and he'd be like, what's up? And then he walked away and I'd be like, what is it gonna be? What are we gonna do? What is it gonna be? And it was always me being like, hey, and he'd be like, what's up?
And then he'd walk away and I'd be like,
oh, that went well.
Now it's replayed in our brain 400 times
to be like, how well was it?
How well was it?
And then I would find Brando excuses just to walk by.
Yeah.
And I would say something stupid to one of his friends
and then it was fun.
I will say through this whole ordeal,
I do feel a little bit bad for Dalton.
I don't know.
Dalton said he didn't realize how famous she was.
Did he actually say that though?
Oh, you're saying the media lies?
Yeah, you're saying the tabloids lie.
Take your box cutter and just rip them all the shreds.
My thing with Ariana is I think she would agree
if she was here,
as we would agree with our lives.
She has horrible taste in men.
Yeah, horrible taste in men,
because if you think about it, white rappers,
male comedians and the one straight guy
in the musical theater play, that's a trifecta.
Cause I had a crush on every white rapper, and they are not okay.
Yeah, no.
They're not okay.
Can we talk about Jack Harlow basically
subliminally messaging me on Instagram over the weekend?
Okay, this is a PSA for Jack Harlow.
The amount of gigglers that sent me, first of all,
this is why they're the best.
Sent me his Instagram story of Meto Soprano,
not only were they complimenting me saying,
like, this is basically you,
which like, I'll take that all day long.
But also that his type is me.
We've been manifesting this for probably like three years now.
Yeah, and I'm scared that like in four months it's going to come out that like
Jarrett Carlo like peas on people or something like something.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
That like I just won't be able to recover from.
Well, now you're this is just the anxiety speaking.
Let's live in the moment.
He literally posts that he wants a girl like meadows soprano.
Yeah.
Who we're friends with.
Yes. And she she thinks're friends with. Yes.
And she thinks you're funny, which means that he's gonna think.
Should I have her DM him?
Oh my God.
She should be like, hey, thank you for the post.
I highly recommend my girlie.
Yep.
What do we say to Craig?
Craig is busy.
Craig and Kyle.
Craig and Kyle, I will distract him with the tennis text.
I'll be like, did you see the random tournament going on?
On the tennis channel right now.
There was like some random article that it was like, oh, like he came out as Polly after
they got married and it was like, no, no.
He cheated.
Yeah.
He cheated and you found out about it.
And now he's like, let's also make this my girlfriend.
Like, no.
Okay.
But with Ariana Grande,
people have to understand she likes an ugly hot dude.
Rest in peace.
She has, and it's okay.
She has a type.
She has a type.
Like her husband actually don't,
I think is like he was cute. It's cute. Like her husband actually don't, I think is like, he was cute.
It's cute.
He was cute.
I know, I really, like, I wanted Pete to get back in there.
I don't know, I feel like Pete is in rehab.
Yeah, he's on his own.
He needs to like focus on himself.
So then, more flirting in the celebrity world.
Tom and Irena. Tom and I rena.
Tom and I rena.
I tend to think like if it's on page six,
it's not true.
Like did it like is this, like why would they be doing that?
Because like if he wanted her to sleep at his house
and he didn't want anyone to know,
like they would be able to finagle that.
Like and it's the same weekend that it's Juzelle's birthday.
That is a fucked up finagle.
I feel like he just did that on purpose almost.
Not like slept with Irene on purpose,
but let those pictures out on purpose.
I kind of, it's so crazy to see how celebrities fight.
Normal people will be like, oh, on his birthday,
I'm going to post a photo like me with a guy. Yeah.
Where they're like, I'm gonna be on page 6 with my digout.
I'm gonna have everyone talking about it.
Irina was with Bradley Cooper.
Yes, they have a baby together.
Is Bradley okay? Has anyone checked on him lately?
I don't know. I feel like he's so low-key.
Yeah.
He's good at staying out of the limelight.
I love him too. Yeah. He's good at staying out of the limelight. I love him too. I'm just
scared to publicly love anyone because it's either like they want to eat you, murder
you, or you have to wear like your snowsuit when you're surfing or has
we been any updates on Jonah or is it that it kind of get quiet? I think it's
getting quiet. I think he's doing the best thing for PR right now and he's just...
Do you think he's gonna just re-emerge with a movie? I think he's gonna re-emerge the way like remember
We forgot all about like Adam Levine
Cheating on his pregnant wife and then wanting to name the unborn child his mistress's name Adam Levine's like probably on tour
He definitely is on tour probably brought the girlfriend, you know like I'm just like yeah
Just men came out as Polly, let him live.
I feel like Tom Brady and Sophia for Gar, it could be fun.
No, he couldn't handle that.
She has too much personality.
Yeah, she's too much of like a star in her own right.
I feel like, not that like Irina isn't, like she's a famous model.
Yeah.
I love talking about them.
Like, we know all of them really closely.
I feel like if I
did meet Sophia, though, we would be friends. I agree. I also think it's kind of sad when they were
posting articles saying like Sophia and what's his name? Joe. Joe. Joe Managato. What is it?
Joe says I got to I could never say it. Joe. Chris, what is it? I don't even know who you're talking about. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, I think
Megan now they were saying how they're always fighting and stuff.
Yeah, but they look so good on red carpets. There's such a hot
couple. They're so hot, but that's why maybe Arion is right.
Don't go for the hot guy. Go for the ugly one who can sing.
Whenever you think something's wrong in your relationship, just remember there's a really hot
couple out there, not fucking. True. Because they actually realized they don't like each other's
people. Did you see that thing going around everyone's sending it to us about like the couple that
post the most photos of themselves hate each other? Yeah. And they were like, I'm like, we knew it,
we've known it. I didn't need a meme to tell me. Just look through your friends that you graduated high school with. They'll
tell you, we didn't do anything scientific. We just kept our eyes open. Whenever your
relationships going badly, just stop posting about them. So now people reverse psychology.
So people think that your relationships going well. We're smart. We're smart. And then
maybe you'll trick people. Gigi Hadid was arrested for weed, for doing weed.
Did it make you like her more?
My mom messed, DMed it to me.
DMed it to me like the Us Weekly had like,
see, see.
See?
This is why I'm always upset whenever you're traveling
with a DH bag, then you're pens and you're sharpies.
You would just stop that.
I don't know why you need that.
No, I'm petrified.
And she also was overseas.
Yeah, I know.
Well, she was in like an island.
She was in like, came an island.
Okay.
So I was like, she was like in,
I was gonna say, rush away.
I think she was soon.
No, I know.
I think you can't say the word rush.
I said, Poutine and the beginning.
Yeah, we're getting heavily political.
This is a really political.
Yeah, no, I'm not gonna bring it to Canada
because I'm scared.
I feel like you can smoke weed in Canada though.
I feel like you should look that up
before you assume things.
Yeah, I'm not gonna.
I feel like you're very pretty privileged
with your weed smoking.
I, okay.
I'm cute though.
In the moment in Spain, I did have like a fucked up thought in my head where I was like,
they're not gonna arrest me.
I'm adorable.
I'm like, look at this cute little bag.
Oh my god, one weed pen thrown out.
Like how?
Check it, I don't need it.
You're like, I just get giggly.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, sorry, what am I gonna eat too many freshly baked cookies on the plane ride home?
My bad. Oh, I'm gonna sleep through the entire eight-hour flight. Let me live.
Okay, we posted this video that did go viral on TikTok of us talking about the best connections. We did. Yeah, it has like three million views.
Oh my god. Best connections is when the mom hates their son. Your boyfriend. Yeah. And I recently was looking
through the comments, even though I said I don't look at comments, but these comments were
fire. Yeah. Of girls saying things that happened. Someone said, you're so much smarter than me at
your age. He's just like his dad and I stayed for 20 years. Oh my God. That's like a double whammy.
She's like, take me with you.
My ex's mom told me you can forget him,
but you can't forget me.
Every time that you get a text from a mom,
you're like, everything will stay see.
Yeah.
Wait, I feel like I'm gonna be that mom.
Like I feel like I will.
There's gonna be like a few more.
Like I did really like her.
I'm just gonna make sure she's doing well. That's so funny I feel like I will. There's gonna be like a few more. Like I did really like her.
I'm just gonna make sure she's doing well.
That's so funny.
I like that.
This one person said the first time I broke up with my ex,
I guess multiple times.
His mom said you need to go find richer and older.
Yeah.
It's fine.
She's still looking so.
My ex's mom looked dead.
Look me dead in the eyes and said you'll always do more work
in this relationship than he will.
Hope Susan's doing okay. Heart. The whole family asked me why I was with him.
She didn't own then. LOL. I one time had a mom like overly thank me for being with her son
and that also freaked me out. Mm-hmm. And turns out, yeah, they were trying to get me into some
weird cult or something, not really,
but just like in their family. Some boyfriends are just like, you're on little cults.
Yeah, and it was like, she was like, we're so happy you're here and we're so happy you're spending
the night. And I got an Uber. I literally got an Uber home, like later in the middle of the night
because I was like, something doesn't feel right. And I made something up like from Long Island to New York.
I was like, I gotta go.
I told you once a mom was like,
my advice for you is keep him on his toes.
I was like, are you saying cheat on him?
Imagine the mom like, I was gonna marry this man.
And she was like, keep him on his toes.
Like what?
Like have another boyfriend.
What?
Up into the way.
What does that mean?
Like he's gonna get bored with me just like being myself.
Basically.
His parents showed up to my house and told me
to end the engagement real ones.
Wow.
My ex's mom literally cried in my arms
because of his behavior and I stayed for three years.
Run when the mom gives you clues.
Wow.
Yeah, you literally just have to like look
at the mom's life and see.
You also, I think a really big thing
is seeing how your boyfriend
or your significant other treats their mom.
Oh for sure.
Because that's so how,
I feel like he treats his wife.
But I also think when a guy is overly obsessed with his mom,
that's equally awesome.
I mean, just like being polite.
Like, I always say, one of the first things I noticed
about Craig is like, he's always like,
word, like, is his mom comfortable?
Does his mom like, like, is his mom gonna have something
to eat, like to cheat, like, and that, like,
that's the thing.
Yeah, if guys on the phone and he tells his mom to shut up,
it's like, it's funny, but like, don't do it.
Then this person said, my ex's dad told me I could do better.
That's next level to break down.
Because dad's having no idea what's going on.
No idea what's going on at all.
Like I feel like none of my boyfriend's dad's
he's like, look, I don't know what your name is,
but I like you.
Like I've seen you around here a few times.
Are you having fun?
Do you like it?
Is everything okay?
My mom needs to know, like,
end up things about the relationship
and how I felt and what we do.
My dad would do this thing called
boyfriend Olympics, that I tell you that before.
When a guy would visit shelter island,
he'd meet my mom, they'd have like a long talk
and then my dad would be outside,
just like holding a bat and he'd be like,
we raised the boyfriend Olympics
and they'd have to throw footballs with him.
He'd have to see their arm.
He'd have to do like a little like baseball,
like home run derby.
Your boyfriend's were like him scheduling a play date.
Literally, but he was like,
it was the Olympics like he was raiding them.
Like he was writing it down their vertical leap.
Because he was like, I'm not having
some weak ass dude marry my daughter
because we want to have division.
We're breeding, We're breeding athletes.
So the guy could literally be a serial killer, but he'd be like, he got an
arm on him.
Yeah.
And then one one guy like, like, dad, he smokes math in the basement.
You're like, when I was in a swing was very funny, but couldn't hold a
plank and my dad was like, couldn't get over it.
I got the egg.
My dad literally got the egg.
He was like, trying to throw a ball with him and he got too close and my dad was like,
I'm over this man.
If my dad can't play golf with it,
my dad thinks I'm getting boyfriends to play games with him.
And I don't think that's healthy.
No, but I love that.
Your dad got the egg.
Yeah, parents can get the egg too.
Anyway, are you watching anything?
I'm watching Love Island and I'm gonna be honest.
Oh. Oh. watching anything? I'm watching Love Island and I'm going to be honest.
Oh.
Oh.
I get so excited for the summer session of Love Island.
And I hate, there's, I'm not.
Is this the British one?
Yeah, yeah.
It's UK.
It's prime time.
They're in Spain.
It's in the summer.
I'm like, it's almost over.
And I haven't felt an emotional connection to anyone.
And I'm real, we did cost them more
We did the whole thing like they're coupled up. What's the problem?
Do you think it's just Cass and do you think people are into like being famous and from love Island?
No, I don't even think that I'm just like not invested in anyone's relationship
Like I don't think anyone truly truly is like obsessed with each other. And Molly May and Tommy Fury just got engaged.
Yeah, they're like, so it gets possible.
And I'm just not vibing with anyone.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
That's okay.
I did fall asleep during a very intense documentary
on Amazon of Ted Bundy's longtime girlfriend.
Talking about how they fell in love.
Is she still alive?
Yes.
And it's from the perspective of the women,
which is important.
Yeah.
She was with him for years before the killing started.
Wish.
Oh, okay.
So she wasn't with him while he was being a serial killer.
No, she was with him beforehand when he was just like,
like a normal guy.
She did say that he liked to lie a lot
and that he would steal things a lot.
Like he'd like steal a stapler
and she'd be like, why'd you steal that?
But he was like really smart, really charming.
Everyone loved him, but she'd be like,
did you need the salt shaker from that restaurant?
It's kind of hilarious.
But like we all know someone who does that.
Like I had a friend who would do that
shit all the time.
She'd be like, really?
Yeah, she thought it was so funny.
I'd be like, why'd you take the cup?
And she's like, isn't it fun?
Is it cool cup?
And I'm like, okay.
Wait, oh my God, is that like a sign of...
It was like something about how like they liked
getting away with shit.
Okay.
And he liked feeling smarter than people.
I just don't know how you got from like stealing
a salt shaker to like murdering people.
I feel like that was a leap and a reach.
Yeah. You could have done other things.
But it was funny because they were like really in love
and then she was like, then you started to get weird one day.
Yeah.
And that's when you tell your friend like, he's fine.
He's so busy.
He's so busy.
Work's been really tough and so it's just like that
and a little depressed and he did.
I know he had to get a haircut yesterday.
So he's probably like busy with that.
Then he was on the phone with his mom.
And so I had a girlfriend who was like,
one time we went out to dinner
and she's like telling me all this stuff about her boyfriend.
And she's like, yeah, and like, he just like,
he works in finance.
And so he's up like really late at night.
And so like, he needs things to like,
keep him up.
And she's like talking, talking, talking, and I go,
babe, I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict.
I think he's a drug addict. I think he's a drug addict. I think he's a drug addict. I think he's a drug addict. I think he's a drug addict. And we're on the go, okay. She was doing it alone by himself in the morning.
No one's getting hurt.
He's not ejected.
It's his drug of choice to wake up.
Full circle from how we can elaborate stories as girls
and guys just don't.
We can elaborate the worst possible boyfriend situation
to be like, he's amazing.
She's like, but he loves me so much.
She's like always talking to me.
I'm like, yeah, because he's literally coaked up.
He's chan-chan-chan-chan-chan-chan-chan.
And he's still Sabrina Breyer, the funniest video.
I just had our burning in hell, actually,
where she goes that one boyfriend who like really sucks.
But you know when you're like so excited
to show your friends this boyfriend,
and he shows up and he's honest from the whole time.
Yeah.
And you're like, babe, you try to have like a little banter
in front of your friends and he's like not doing it. And you're like, that's so us to have like a little banter in front of your friend and he's like not doing it.
And you're like, that's so us.
That's so us.
You just ignore his mean.
So I laugh at that.
And you're like, look at your friend's like, he's all right.
And he's literally like, like Googling like how to break up
with my girlfriend.
And then you leave and he's like, I don't want to do that
ever again.
And you're like, oh my god, it's okay.
It was so annoying to make you hang out with my friends
for 45 minutes.
That was so annoying with me.
You're like, they're the worst, right?
You get in the car and you're like, she's annoying.
I know, I told you.
No, I need to end my friendships with all of them.
You're so, so, so, so, right.
I really want to see the Barbie movie.
Oh my God, we totally forgot.
I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but I'm going to say it because I'm not a,
I'm not a, does is like really good friends with Killian Murphy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like crazy.
Yeah, this is like, this is it.
This is it.
This is, this movie is probably not.
He went to college with him and did acting with him.
Like they went like acting club.
Wow.
Did he know that you forgot your passport in West Hampton?
The amazing thing about does is that he's, as forgetful as me.
So this is like just a day in our life.
Of course.
I hate when people get mad at you for making a mistake.
Yeah.
Tomorrow he'll call me and be like,
oh my god, my wallet is in the ocean.
And I'll be like, okay, babe.
Babe, you're so silly.
See, I feel like I have beaten Craig down so much
that when we're at the elevator and he's like, he actually, it's like, I don't need my phone.
I don't need it.
I actually didn't want to bring my phone.
I own a mom where he's like, mom, I have a project,
June Marl, and I didn't get any markers for it.
And you've got to take me to CBS and it's like 9 p.m.
Like, I'm not mom.
I'm like, really?
She does, and I will be driving for an hour
and he'll be like, oh, fuck. And I'm like, turn? See, does not I will be like driving for an hour and he'll be like, oh fuck.
And I'm like, turn the car around.
I probably forgot something too.
We're so bad.
Like actually, I should do a sweep also.
So I had a hot take on Barbie.
And this is, I like having hot takes
with no research involved.
Okay. I've not seen the Barbie movie.
Right. It's supposed to be like very feminist.
I think it's done so much marketing.
Like there hasn't even won conversation
about how Barbie made you feel like you couldn't have one labia.
Well, she didn't have.
I know.
So you're fucking, you know,
sizzling your Barbie dolls and you're like,
why are these girls?
Why do their legs look like that?
And then where are you a Barbie girl?
I got.
Living in a Barbie world? I got in a Barbie world.
I got Barbies.
I definitely played with it.
I wasn't one that was like burning their heads on fire.
Like, the people should look into it.
I wonder where those people are now.
The ones who would like cut all the hair and like,
mark it.
Yeah, and I feel like it goes with like,
brag about that back in the day.
And they're like, I cut off all my Barbies hair.
Yeah.
That's weird.
Like, you're, mom, I don't want to play here anymore.
Like, okay, Ted Bunney.
You all get in.
All the Barbie dolls are on stakes.
Yeah.
I was, I was not a Barbie first.
You were.
Yeah.
Oh, you weren't.
No, I actually thought Barbie was stupid.
Like, I didn't, like, I didn't get how people played Barbie.
I was more beanie babies.
Okay.
Like a collector. I was an art collector as. I was more beanie babies. Okay, I was a collector.
I was an art collector as a young age of beanie babies.
You're like, how can I sell these?
I just, I never really liked them.
I just had like piles of them.
Yeah.
I also had those little horses.
I'm not a poor squirrel, but I had those,
I think my little pony.
Yeah.
And then I had the like fairy that fairy that you, like, pull the thing
and she, like, flies and, like, breaks everything in the house.
Did you, were you a polypocket girl?
Maybe.
I did get an American girl doll at one point.
That, like, looks like me.
I was, like, a true baby doll girl.
Like, I wanted,
Would you say funny because you hate babies?
I know.
I wanted my baby, they were mine.
They were, I felt like I was had a cult.
Like these were my, did you like wake up in the morning, like,
oh my God, my baby needs to nurse.
Yeah, I would wake up and be like, this is my child.
I killed Toma Gachies.
And like my mom wouldn't take that, that seriously,
that that was my child.
And like she needed to come.
She needed to be a child.
That's what I told us about Butter.
I'm like, this is my child.
Yeah, like I birthed her.
I would like to see a study of girls what they decided
to play with at a young age and where they are now.
Yeah, but there is a huge discrepancy of girls
just not being gifted legos as kids.
Yeah.
And if more girls were gifted legos,
they might be more into STEM.
See, I actually, not to get super feminist,
Gagley Squad, but I had a brother.
So like I had access to all of his toys as well.
I wanted nothing to do with them.
Like if anything was navy blue,
I didn't want, like get it away from me.
Yeah, true.
Like so there were Legos, there were blocks,
there were video games, there was trucks,
and I would kick them.
What if it was a pink Lego?
I didn't want it.
I get it out of my school, my fake school here, like, I'm teaching.
That's the thing.
I was like, I don't need to play with dolls.
I am the main character.
Like, I told everyone to shut the fuck up, I'm teaching a lesson.
I told my own Nana.
I said, Nana, you talk too much.
Yeah. Like, I was in charge lesson right now. I told my own Nana. I said, Nana, you talk too much.
Like I was in charge in all my times.
I was in music videos.
I did gangsters paradise and I choreographed
the whole thing.
Oh, good times.
Yeah, good times.
So the Barbie movie, I just feel like I know it's very feminist,
but I do think it is Mattel at the end of the day
and we have to be reminded that like Barbie came
for our throats as millennials, came for our fucking throats. Yeah. They were all
blonde with the most insane long bodies and the outfits were wild. Maybe that
started like where I was like blondes. Where's the brunette Barbie? Where's Kelly? I know.
Kelly didn't come out. No Kelly was the sister. Who was the friend? We don't even know where to be.
But again, why does the Brunette have to be like the ugly friend?
Yeah.
She didn't even have a personality.
She can even talk.
We didn't even know her name.
They didn't even have nipples.
No, they don't.
So I'm five.
I'm five.
I've never seen a thing where they do like a real life size.
Like if Barbie had life size measurements, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
You wouldn't be able to stand.
This is the thing. I'm not saying we shouldn't have a barbed movie. I just want to be part of the conversation. Like, it's crazy. It would be able to stand. This is the thing.
I'm not saying we shouldn't have a Barbie movie.
I just want to be part of the conversation.
Like, let's not forget.
We're Italian.
We don't forget.
I think they addressed in the movie
that's what people are telling me.
But I haven't seen anything written on it.
No press.
Their PR team is working overtime.
If I see another pink thing,
I'm going to lose my shit.
Everything is a Barbie collab.
Yeah, everything.
Yeah.
There's like Kentucky Fried Chicken that's pink. And they're're like Barbie. Did you see Popeye's made a section of their
menu called Girl Dinner? I mean genius. Genius. Genius. Some people are saying Girl Dinner's
are bad because they're unhealthy but I think that's anti-feminist. Craig made me explain to him
what Girl Dinner was and he was like, I do that. Craig is a feminist icon. Yeah, yes.
Anyway, thank you guys for giggling with us today.
Our tickets are on sale for New York City.
Our tickets are on sale for Toronto.
And we love you guys so much.
Giggle with you later.
Bye.
Bye.
you