Giggly Squad - Giggling about Instagram hacks, picking bridesmaids, and Salt Lake City

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Hannah and Paige realize they have social anxiety.Watch the episode on Patreon here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What is up, Gaglers and Gents, it is time for the funniest time of your week. It's time to laugh at us. It's time for us to laugh at ourselves. It is the giggly squad. What's up, Paige and Sorbo? This is definitely the number one time I laugh during the week. They get definitely laughed during the week, but this is like,
Starting point is 00:00:36 It's not the same. It's not the same. I've been looking forward to recording this all week. I even had a little dream about recording because I was like, that excited. I'm like a little kid first a stay-at-school. Did you really? What were you thinking? It was weird. We were on a tennis court and like we were having some tech issues. We were matching cutoff. It's of course. We were like, I'm always having
Starting point is 00:00:56 tech issues. I just can't. But we've survived. We are here. And speaking of tech issues, But we've survived. We are here and speaking of tech issues. Yeah, we realized like we're not good at a lot of things But one thing we are good at is Instagram trailblazers Like people Jessica might call us Instagram thoughts, but I'll tell you one thing Instagram thoughts No, our fucking engineers at Instagram like they need some fucking respect So I think that we need to tell some of our Instagram tricks and hacks to the giglers. Okay, I'm down with this because I have a lot. You have a lot and we've learned off each other. I recently realized something. First
Starting point is 00:01:37 of all, live photos are game changers. I always take a live photo and if you don't know, you can press the live photo and to edit it, you can pick the exact moment in the live you like. But sometimes you ever hold it down and you're like, that's kind of a cube boomerang. Yes. So you can all the time. You can press save video.
Starting point is 00:01:59 But if you save the video, it's only 1.5 seconds and if you try to upload it to your Instagram, it will be janky. Wow, I didn't know that. It'll let you, but it won't work. I tried to do it and then I deleted it and it fucked up my algorithm. Now if you know Instagram, all Instagram thoughts know, deleting a photo is treacherous. Treacherous. Okay, wait, is it bad? What about archiving?
Starting point is 00:02:24 Asking for a friend archiving is okay. Oh, okay, okay. Archiving is okay. Deleting is you go to Instagram hell. Yeah, you basically you literally do. You're done. Like I remember texting you being like, I have my algorithms all fucked up.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Like algorithm is talked about way more with Instagram thoughts than you would expect. So then you guys are thinking, well, if I like this boomerang, what do I do? Okay, this is fucking incredible. I figured it out last night. You go to your Insta story, you find the live photo, you hold down the middle and it turns into a boomerang that's six seconds. You just hold down the middle and then you press save and you have a six second boomerang of whatever that cute live was Dude wait, I like almost want to try it. It's like a game changer. Oh My god fucking changer But I don't take I need to take more live photos. I feel like I'm not like in the live photo game enough
Starting point is 00:03:21 Do you know what I mean? Well, why don't you take live photos, babe? I don't know sometimes they feel like the picture quality is not as good. And I am always moving in pictures, trying to get the photos and moving. Snap, snap, moving. And then the live photos, it's like, huh, you know, do you know that?
Starting point is 00:03:41 You have to subscribe to our Patreon because really our visual aids are quite important. It's basically like, huh, and I'm like, I get it. Okay, here's my Instagram. This is an hack. This is just like, a grievance that I have. So, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:01 You're posting on Instagram and let's be serious. We're getting a lot of people watching our Instagram stories and I love everyone. I love everyone that loves me. So if you're watching my Instagram story, you're my friend. In the same breath, I don't give a fuck about you. I'm looking for that one person to see if they watch my Instagram story. Half the time I'm uploading an Instagram story because I want that one person to be like, she's adorable.
Starting point is 00:04:30 She's so cute. I love her so much. Why can I not search in my Instagram story? Who viewed it? First of all, I love that you used our advice column to just complain. That was one of the greatest things you've ever done. Second of all, you're fucking right. You are fucking right.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I'm right. I'm right. But then it's like, also, why do you even have to search? How come my mom is at the top, but the person I really want to see is not. Where are they? Are they in? Right. And how is it set up?
Starting point is 00:05:04 Are the people at the top, the most recent people who have seen it? Are the people at the top who go to my Instagram the most? Or is it who you search the most? Instagram is fucking with us. I'm telling you, they change it all the time. This is one of, I don't understand how society from a piece of hair can figure out my whole genetic lineage, but I can't fuck Google and see why my mom is at the top of my Instagram viewers and not
Starting point is 00:05:30 other people. It's the eighth wonder of our world, and quite possibly the most important thing our generation will solve. So if you guys have any insight to that, please message us. If someone works for Instagram, let a girl know because I just wanna know if they saw that my hair looked really good, actually right now. You know?
Starting point is 00:05:53 Well, you have this long hair aesthetic right now. Yeah, I'm doing long hair aesthetic and I'm into it. I don't wash my hair that much anymore. Is that crazy? Why? I don't know, one, because I'm Is that crazy? Why? I don't know. One, because I'm lazy too, but like you use pros too. I like have been using pros now for like almost like nine months.
Starting point is 00:06:12 My hair is a completely different situation. And I was with one of my girlfriends like a couple weeks ago and she was using dry shampoo, which I never ever really used. Using now? Like changing. Yeah. Well let's just say I feel like short hair to page was refined and dignified. Long hair page is relaxed.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Long hair page don't give up. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. This is like in full quarantine mode. Like welcome to the club. Can I run my fingers through my hair? No. Is there a dread in the back of my head maybe?
Starting point is 00:06:52 Is that okay? Yes. But this like wave that happened from my pillow is fucking awesome. Okay, I basically did heatless waves last night while I was sleeping. I fucking multitasked that bitch And also how do you feel about the new Instagram though? Like it's changed everyone freaks out about change
Starting point is 00:07:12 I hate change I don't hate it. I actually I'm fine with that. Well, they're trying to push us to use reels. I Know I know which I feel like it will be a thing soon I know, I know, which I feel like it will be a thing soon. But I feel like I'm so open to change right now that I'm like, fuck it up Instagram, what do you got for me, throw it at me. I'll figure it out. I'm obsessed with you.
Starting point is 00:07:32 You know, like I'm just like whatever. I'm obsessed. You're letting go. But I do like the name that's really big at the top. I do like that. That's because we're nice as well. Is that why? You're like, I love that my name is a bigger font,
Starting point is 00:07:44 just in case anyone forgot whose page this was. Right. In case you forgot. Yeah, no, I love that. Also, I do want to shout out to Elena, our intern, who is running our social media and is fire. No, she's fire. Sometimes I'm like, oh my god, is Elena going to take my job?
Starting point is 00:08:04 Because she's actually hilarious. And what if her in Hannah get really close and then they're just like pages out where they get this spot? Like I think about it and odd amount of time during the week. I love her. I'm like, are you still?
Starting point is 00:08:14 I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking?
Starting point is 00:08:21 I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, are you still talking? I'm just like, you like a crazy girlfriend text being like Oh, so are you and Dom just like always hanging out now? Do you have her in my face? What's the deal? What's the deal with you guys? She's being her my space top eight like where would we be if you had to choose? Wow if I did you with my space top eight right now in like my late 20s? Well my space top eight is basically what bridesmaids are.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Yes. Oh my god, Hannah. That's literally what it is. Your bridesmaids are in my space topic. Also, I know there's girls who have friends since day one. You know those girls are like, Amanda actually is one of them. She has girls from middle school, high school. I'm like, that must be so nice that you have this family of girlfriends.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I mean, I went to three high schools. I'm like, that must be so nice that you have this family of girlfriends. Meanwhile, I went to three high schools. I was like, whatever I was doing. I have a different friend group every two years who is gonna be the bridesmaids that year. Like, it's like the Hunger Games. This is why you are my best friend. I had this exact conversation with my mom last night
Starting point is 00:09:23 because I was like, I feel like I outgrow certain people and like throughout the years, like my friend groups kind of changed. You like throughout the week, I outgrow people. I'm like, um, yeah. During this brunch, I've outgrown you. This third mimosa made me realize you need to leave. I'm literally going to say that to someone. I'm literally gonna say that to someone. I'm gonna be like, oh, I thought about it. And I've outgrown you during this dinner. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:09:50 No, I felt like, okay, when I come home, I feel like my anxiety really ramps up. Because I'm just like sitting and I have so much time to think about things. And in the past couple of months, I've reconnected with older like girlfriends I had before and like I met some new girlfriends and whatever. And I was like, oh my god, and I like the worst person in the world that I have like a different
Starting point is 00:10:15 friend group every couple of years. And I was like, or is that me growing? Yeah. And just like out growing people. And my mom was just like, you're not a terrible person. Like, can you just figure out how to pay your taxes? I'm just like, why are you here again? But I have a theory that the MySpace top eight
Starting point is 00:10:34 is the root of all millennial anxiety. It started from there. Like, do you remember looking at someone's page and not being in their top eight and just being like, oh, well, I'll go fuck myself Yeah, but that wasn't allowed to have a my space So I didn't get put anyone in my top eight like I had one But I didn't have a picture and like didn't really have a profile, but I looked at people
Starting point is 00:10:56 So you had a face. I was a basically like before I was good thing I was sitting with one of my friends the other night and they were like, oh, they're private. Like, we can't see their page and I was like, mm-hmm. So I went on my finstown and requested this person. Like, I accepted like immediately and he looked at me and he was like, I don't know if I'm like,
Starting point is 00:11:21 think you're the smartest person ever or if I'm scared of you. Call the police. Call the police. Call the police on page. The best of both worlds. But to wrap the bridesmaid thing up, I don't think I'm gonna have bridesmaids. I don't either.
Starting point is 00:11:32 It's also because I don't have a sister. So I don't need that bitch in it. Dude. And also, let's be honest, we needed to be all about us when I'm in my garage wedding. I need to be me, center of the garage. And then like I want I want kind of a small wedding and you invite your OGs like your people who in
Starting point is 00:11:52 that week of your life you're close to. In that six month span we'll figure out who's invited to our weddings. Um, no, actually I agree with you. I don't want bridesmaids. I want me to have that moment walking down the aisle. When my cousin got married, she only had her siblings up there. And I think that that's a nice touch. Oh, that's cute. Or unless your brother decides like, talk shit, like, your hair is fucked up and you're like, what?
Starting point is 00:12:18 And you like your hair is all over the place. I actually, hundreds. I don't know if I could have Gary up there. I feel like we would just start laughing. Yeah. Are you seriously doing this page? Come on, don't marry him. He's such a loser. That's literally every boyfriend I've ever dated. My brother says, are you seriously doing this page? We love Gary. Shout out to Gary and I love your drink and allegedly mug right now. It's everything. I do think thatin allegedly mug right now is everything.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I do think that overall weddings stress me the fuck out, but when weddings were like a thing, I used to tell people to save money, start fights with all your close friends, like they don't have to be like end of the world fights, but like just stop getting along with your closest friends so you don't get asked to be a bridesmaid and you will save so much money and like after the wedding just like make up with them. I've never been a bridesmaid so I don't even know what that like angst feels like. It's really bad and people don't talk about it enough but I'm gonna say right now you have to buy a dress that's always hundreds of dollars that you don't like. Right. And you probably don't even look good in.
Starting point is 00:13:26 You don't look good in or they give you a color and you're like, I'm never gonna, when am I gonna wear this floor-length dress? Like, not to brunch, where I'm not growing. You could cut it. You could cut it, people. And then you sometimes have to travel places. Then there's also gifts of all kinds.
Starting point is 00:13:41 So I didn't know this, but you have the bridal shower gift, you have the bachelorette gift, you have the wedding gift, and I didn't know this when I went to my friend's wedding in Chicago for the bridal shower, I didn't realize I had to get another gift. So I just got her a bunch of like New York City mugs at the airport and she was like you are a cunt. And I was like I don't know the rules. The only reason I'm not terrified of this is because I keep just like obviously thinking about myself. Like when it's my turn. I'm like you have to get me 47 gifts. Like do you have no booth? Like you don't know the rules. I need to get for this. I get for that. Like I didn't start like this though. People like you
Starting point is 00:14:20 took it to the extreme. Also I just want to say for people who got really upset just now Jessica for me saying the C word, it's because I'm cultured and I dated a lot of European men back in my day. And it's acceptable. So read a fucking book, Jessica. Read a book. Also, who needs to travel
Starting point is 00:14:36 when you can just date a lot of foreign men? I love that. It's called the Epcot of Dix. That's what I do. Anyway, moving on. Let's do some front page news, because you guys, it's insane today. We have so much news. We also have so much stuff for binging. Bravo's been fucking crazy. And we have a lot of conspiracy theories. Page, let's get into it.
Starting point is 00:14:56 So Hannah and I always text about like what we're going to talk about on front page news. And she was actually like, I need to talk about this. So obviously we know Erica Jane filed for divorce against Tom Gerardi, 81 years old, not an easy decision, she said, but now she's seeking spousal support. I mean, yeah, I got it. But people are saying that she is going through a lot of like legal things and that he might not have a lot of money soon. So she's trying to solidify that she gets spousal support
Starting point is 00:15:30 and she wants him to pay for her legal fees of their divorce. But furthermore, did you hear? Oh, do you strap a furthermore? Yes. Is this podcast MLA formatted with citations and footnotes? Welcome to NPR bitch. Um, whilst Erica was filing for divorce.
Starting point is 00:15:52 We do have more in the story. No, the further more just like dropped. My drop. Well further fucking more. Oh, that's the word further fucking more. If I ever get into a fight with a boyfriend I'm literally gonna be and further fucking more dude I'm out where your mind goes you're like when I one day fight with a boyfriend and I have another thought Throw that shit in for the right might write that in my nose further fucking more
Starting point is 00:16:22 Erica also is blocking him from getting support from her. OK, yes. So that's when things started to get a little fishy. So I had to call in to my Bravo Chatroom co-host, K. Chestain, who is a sleuth, and always knows what's going on. And she has a serious conspiracy theory. Do you remember we were like, this is so weird.
Starting point is 00:16:44 He's going to die, like just stay with him like three more years. She thinks Tom is in like such bad legal trouble that he's actually saving her, saying get out and like putting a lot of stuff in her name. And she wants to block him from being able to take from her so that if he goes bankrupt, they can't take it from her. So she thinks this is actually an act of romance that Erica Jane is saving him by divorcing and then taking a lot of his assets. And if that's not love, I don't know what is. If my husband doesn't say hey babe, you're gonna divorce me, I'm gonna put everything in your name, you're gonna be the rich one. And then when I get in trouble, everything will be fine,
Starting point is 00:17:24 then I'll come back and we'll live happily ever after. I mean, she might be soldering up for her man right now. But also, if this doesn't happen to me in my marriage, I don't want it. This is like the modern Roman Juliet. And then they just both, you know, anyway. One of them's wild. It's wild, right?
Starting point is 00:17:45 No, that's wild and it makes a thousand percent sense. But it also stresses me out because everyone's like, I want to be with a rich guy, I want to be with a rich guy. But these rich guys, like more money, more problems. They go from being the richest to like no money in a second because of like a couple sketchy deals. Can I tell you something? I've dated a whole gambit of, is that the word? Gambit, okay. Did I just get it? Yeah, okay, bitch, I went to college.
Starting point is 00:18:09 I've dated like a whole plethora of like different tears of men and like some really rich, some like family money, some on their own. I'm gonna tell you something. The really rich ones, I don't fuck with sometimes. Like, it's like, I'm like, you're weird. Like, you're so weird, you don't have a personality. Well, the money isn't uncomfortable. Do you remember? Like, we've been in places with guys back, back in the day, where it's like so much wealth that we're like,
Starting point is 00:18:37 this was not legal wealth. Things were stolen. This is, I'm like, if your staff could stop asking me if I'm okay. If is, and like, if your staff could stop asking me if I'm okay. If the bro has staff, some shit went down that is illegal. Yeah. I always said, I also, I want a guy who made his own money, but not too much that he's like, there's like money,
Starting point is 00:18:59 people like, I want to rich man, it's much more complicated than that. And these guys who are born on third base, do you know what that saying? No, no. So like born on third base means like, you are born into a rich family. You're on third already.
Starting point is 00:19:13 It's a sport saying. And you never go hard. Well, I've never heard that before. I love that. I put like, it's born on third base. I still love them have a chip on their shoulder. Yeah, they don't feel like they earned it. And while they're watching other guys work,
Starting point is 00:19:24 get to first, get to second. And when I say guys, I also mean women. Yeah, women, and they feel like they they have to prove themselves that they're never going to live up to their daddies, expectations, or whatever. So sometimes like, just get a guy who like makes his money. Did it get a fucking fireman? Like, they're great. Dude, I literally just want someone who thinks I'm the funniest person in the world. And That's a cool. We'll be fine. I think our kids will be able to eat. You have to date guys who are like what you think on paper Like the prince from Falkin Disney movies and then you realize like the prince is a narcissist A thousand percent
Starting point is 00:20:02 Thousand percent that's why I always say when girls like will DM me like Wish I do about this this and this I'm like date a seven Because then he thinks you're so much hotter Like I'm just princess and Disney movies. They're fucking terrible even not even the princess fucking Simba was a Fuck boy. No, it was literally there for him And he's like I have daddy issues. And like ran away to become a pain. Because he's obsessed with coming
Starting point is 00:20:28 came meanwhile, Nala was the ship from day one. And he needed you like a second one where Nala's just like, and further fucking more simple. Do you remember when we were kids? Also, Simba, how are you gonna trust Scar? Like, he looks like a villain. Just look at the guy.
Starting point is 00:20:44 He speaks like a creepo. And you're trying to get here. How did we get here? How did we get here? What's next? Okay. Let's you, oh, also one more thing about, ooh, look at that allegedly case.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Not one more thing about Simba, but one more thing about Erica Jane. They're filming right now. Fucking finally, because Erica Jane has been sitting on the back burner the last couple seasons not bringing it. I'm sorry, she has so much potential. I agree. And she'll just sit in a conversation and she has a look on her face and you're like,
Starting point is 00:21:16 say what you want to say and she doesn't. Okay, now this is a good transition for people who are saying that Erica might be hooking up with the glove. Okay. Let's dive into that. Hold on. Let me find where I have that screen-chatted. I didn't watch Dancing with the Stars, so I didn't know the pros' names, but apparently
Starting point is 00:21:40 people are really obsessed with them. So glove is one of the professional dancers and he was paired with Khrushchell. They got out in the eighth round. So, he's reading all these articles, blah, blah, blah. Everyone was basically like, yeah, they had the flirtiest relationship ever. His wife came out and was like,
Starting point is 00:21:59 a most recent friendship was very inappropriate and I'm just done. She's like, I'm just like I can't. Here's the thing that's crazy to me. When all of this was going down and Gleb was divorcing his wife, Chris Shell put on her Instagram story like I've gone through a public breakup, like I feel like it's so sad that I'm being like brought into this. Like I have nothing to hold on. Let me read the exact thing. I'm so sad that I'm being brought into this. I have nothing to hold on. Let me read the exact thing.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I'm so saddened about news of Gleb and Elena's split. It is unfortunate that this has caused rumors to swirl about my personal life. Having gone through a public split myself, I would not wish this on anyone. As you can imagine, the countless hours of training and dance rehearsals created a strong supportive friendship, but nothing more. I wish nothing but the best for both Gleb and
Starting point is 00:22:47 Elena. Here's the thing, if she was hooking up with him, this is wild to post. So that makes me think like they didn't have a sexual relationship because if you're posting this and then it comes out like she was fucking him. That's insane. But also that seems so guilty to me that post. Like if there were rumors that you were hooking up with like some guy, some bravo celebrity or something that you didn't, would you do a statement? I feel like I'd be like whatever. I think either way I wouldn't do a statement. Yeah, I don't know. Like let them talk whatever, it's just so not true. It's like the fact that she felt,
Starting point is 00:23:29 or maybe she just likes the drama. Everyone said that she was also mad. Like she wanted to do press after they got eliminated, but they couldn't. Ooh, the question is, is Grichelle a nightmare or not? Because she's framed on selling sunset as like the peach of the show. But remember, Shishu had had drama with her.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Shishu did, and we stand she-shishu. We stand Shishu. Shina said that she, Krishel, stopped talking to her once Grishell got like big or just and hardly got like really famous when it's like, Krishel, you're a reality TV thought like us too, you know? Right. Takes one to know on. Would you go on Dancing with the Stars? Yep, that was a percent.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Would you like it? I think so. I feel like I hate not being great at things and we're really good at shaking our ass. We're good at swagger dancing. Like, Katelyn Bristow is crushing it. She's also a professional dancer. Okay. Well, so that's unfair Like you know, I love Caitlin and she love dancing
Starting point is 00:24:31 It was her dream to go on but it's like I don't understand the show dance with stars because it's like you have a football player who literally has a broken knee And then like a professional dancer like Caitlin Bristol, but whatever. We're not gonna get into it. What's next? Okay A professional dancer like Caitlin Bristol, but whatever we're not gonna get into it. What's next? Okay. Oh Let's do Cassie David and Pete Davidson because it's just like was interesting to me. Oh, I haven't heard this Okay, so Cassie David who's Larry David's daughter who dated Pete Davidson for two years wrote a book and it's real it's a collection of her essays It's called no One Ask for This. And she talks about when her and Pete broke up
Starting point is 00:25:08 and she actually broke up with him. And then a few days later, she called him crying, like I made the wrong decision. And he said to her, like I've actually, it's the happiest I've been, like the past couple of days. Then she found out that he was already, like quickly moved on to Ariana Grande and then they were engaged like two months after.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Oh! Her and her dad were on a plane and I guess she cried and her dad's arm like the entire time and then she was in the bathroom like crying and the dad came and Larry David came in and was like, are people survive the Holocaust? Like you're gonna survive this. Which is such like an amazing thing that he said that
Starting point is 00:25:47 and just like such a dad thing, you know? Like I feel like I'm in a picture. Dad's are, okay, dads are so big picture. Like anytime I've ever broken up with someone, I think my dad's response has been the same. Like, huh, he was nice. You know, he was a nice guy. Like, you don't get into the little school. Yeah, they don't get into it. Mom's like Here's a nice guy. Yeah, I don't get into the little yeah, they don't get into it
Starting point is 00:26:06 Like mom would like repeat a conversation. He had with you over and over again to dissect it and are saying what he really My dad's are like I didn't like how we shook my hand that first time If you like my like we don't like them. Okay, but you know like that's how dads are and I just I think it's great That's what but yeah, it actually is good sometimes to step out of your little world. I actually have a tweet, one of my favorite tweets, not relating my tweets to Larry David, but I just have to say, I say, when things, life is hard and things are going to you down, it's important to remember that no one cares. Dude, Hannah, Hannah, this is, I'm not even trying to gas you up right now.
Starting point is 00:26:42 I was at a friend's house a couple days ago, and I was just like, oh my god, you know my best friend, Hannah. You know, I'm always like chatting. I'm like, I'm the worst, but like, it could be friends with my friend Hannah, do you wanna date? No.
Starting point is 00:26:57 And I brought up your Instagram, and someone was like, oh, like, let me see like all her tweets, and you had just posted that one, and I was like, this is hilarious. And me see like all her tweets. And you had just posted that one. And I was like, this is hilarious. And it gave me like more points. I was like, I know I'm friends with funny people. We are such New York friends because to each other's faces,
Starting point is 00:27:14 we're like, you're a fucking idiot. And then if someone else comes up to us, I'm like, yeah, pages my best friend. I know she's so cool. Literally, I think that's when you know that person, like, is down for you because the only people that do that are your best friend and your parents. So you're my dad?
Starting point is 00:27:31 Does that teach him my face? He's like, you just don't do anything around the house. You eat my Oreo and then to his friends, he's like, bracking about me. I'm not kidding, my mom just did it to me 10 minutes ago. I was like, I'm recording my podcast with Hannah. This is why I have to subscribe to our Patreon. She goes, like, she goes,
Starting point is 00:27:48 are you gonna, are you gonna, are you gonna put makeup on though? She's like, are you, are you video? And I was like, yeah, mom, it's like whatever. Like it's just like our Patreon, like it doesn't really matter. And she's like, okay, I mean, okay. You know, like disappointed in me
Starting point is 00:28:03 that I didn't get up in shower and like put a full beat on I was like why are moms are such mom majors like I was filming chat room yesterday And she was like I was telling her I was prepping some jokes and she's like, but you're are you gonna brush your hair? Yeah, I mean, yeah, like they stop talking. They don't want to say that are you they want us to like figure it out Yeah, make it like it's like we're still in like third grade. Like, if no, it was your idea to put mascara on, not mine. But what's funny? That quote that I wrote that says like,
Starting point is 00:28:32 if one life is getting you down, it's important to remember that no one cares. I got a message recently that was like, this is so fucked up, her name was Jessica, obviously, she was like, this is so fucked up. People deal with actual depression. And I'm like, oh, she missed the whole point of the tweet. I didn't respond because I'm working on not responding
Starting point is 00:28:48 to any of the energy. But it's like the point of the tweet is that when you get all down on yourself, it's important to remember that conversation you have stuck in your head, that you're thinking affected someone, or literally no one, everyone's thinking about themselves
Starting point is 00:29:02 and suffering the same way you are. This is our mental health moment. Yeah, it is. This is our mental health moment. When I say no one, everyone's thinking about themselves and suffering the same way you are. This is our mental health moment. Yeah it is. This is our mental health moment. When I say no one cares, it's literally that like everyone's in it together and we're all just trying to survive our own things. No one is sitting there like harping on your shit right now.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Everyone's worried about themselves. Everyone's so concerned about how they look. Yeah. That they're not worried about like how you're acting in a particular moment because they're so in their own head. I always think about that. You'll be better in social situations because you won't think that,
Starting point is 00:29:31 like you know when you walk in, you think everyone's like thinking a type of way about you, they're not. Like maybe for a second, but then they go on. Also, here's like an interesting, here's a hot take. In my early 20s when I would go out and then I'd wake up the next morning, like hung over or whatever, I would just be like,
Starting point is 00:29:47 cool, let's go on with my die. In my late 20s, I wake up sometimes and I'm like, oh, so everyone definitely hates me. Right, like everyone. So I'm texting my friends, I'm like, what did everyone say about me last night? And they're like, what? And I'm like, everyone is mad at me, right?
Starting point is 00:30:04 Like they don't want to be my friend. They think I'm crazy. It's like, not one person brought you up. Not one. Like, no one said anything. I think they forgot you were there. They didn't even know. They're like, those pageant dinners.
Starting point is 00:30:16 And then, see you. It's so funny because I recently had a social situation that like, we haven't been socializing that much because of COVID. But I went to this like small intimate birthday party. And I was the whole time I think I was pretty good. And at the very end there was this girl who I knew her like drama. Like people have been talking like some some guy cheated on her and it was like a mess and then she got back with him and everyone was mad about it. And she was there. She was what?
Starting point is 00:30:41 She was there. Like she's at this place that you're at. She was at the place, basically she had like some relationship drama that people were not happy about. Okay. But she's like a good friend of everyone at the very end. I was like, oh my God, it was so nice to meet you. By like, you know when you're like, I succeeded in this social.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Yeah, it's like I'm leaving on top. I crushed this one. I crushed this one. I'm like, let's leave on top. And I go, I had so much fun, so good to meet you. And she goes, I know I'm so happy after hearing so much about you. And I was like, same, I had so much fun, so good to meet you and she goes, I know I'm so happy after hearing so much about you. And I was like, same, I heard so much about you.
Starting point is 00:31:07 And I said that, I was like, oh no, she's gonna take it as I know all her drama. And I give her a hug, I walk out, and I immediately with my friend and I'm like, oh no, oh I fucked it up, I fucked it up, she thinks I've been talking about her. I was in like a 10 minute, like dark place. And then I was like, why don't I even go to social events? If I'm gonna just put my foot in my mouth, where it's gonna be nice, I could have stayed home and not go with any of this anxiety. So that's just how my beautiful brain works.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I love that. I love that. Like it's such an instant thing that like, that girl could have been like, oh really? Oh, wow, everyone knows. And it knows. Cool. Wow, everyone. It's cool. It's cool. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I do this thing where like when I meet new people, also sometimes I do it when I like don't know them. Has your friend ever introduced you to someone and they're like, oh, this is Becca, like you know. And you don't know anything about Becca Like you don't think your friend has ever brought this person up to you But they're acting like they have and you're like I do this thing where I'm like so nice to meet you I've heard so many things about you. I feel like I know you and then immediately then they're like oh my god
Starting point is 00:32:18 That's so great and I'm like you never brought Becca up to me who the fuck is Becca? It's like God forbid if Becca was like so you know about like what school I went to right? Like you went to school and school I went to. Do you know which one? You know all about? They're like quizzing you and you're like, mm. I'm so bad at that.
Starting point is 00:32:34 I'm such a people pleaser when people say a movie quote and they're like, you know that movie? I always say yes. The number of people you don't quiz me on the movie. Please don't quiz me on the movie. Oh no, I have like, anxiety, thank you. That was right now, social situation. Okay guys, I think people think we're actually
Starting point is 00:32:55 so outgoing and so easy and like we're a fucking mess together, we also, we just end up in a corner of a party, just like giggling and then people think we're weird. No, I'm not good in social situations Like if I don't really really know you I'd I'm I probably come off as a bitch, but really inside I'm having like a triggering panic attack. No, you under-talk and I over-talk when you're nervous That was a percent. You don't talk when I'm nervous. I will fucking talk to everyone in the room be like let's get out of here I pissed off like 10 people. That's why everyone thinks you're so nice because you're like chatting everyone everyone's like
Starting point is 00:33:28 Pete what is page of a stick up a ass like she's not even talking. I'm like no, I'm just so nervous I'm like so quiet. I just like stop talking. I'm just like okay. I'm good. I prove myself. Okay. What's next? God damn Let's talk about Olivia Wilde and Jason. I can't So like why did you like that? I'm gonna go down. Um, oh, let's talk about Olivia Wilde and Jason. I can't. So, like, why did you like that, Marij? Okay, this is why I originally liked them. I love a couple where the girl is just like so hot. And the guy's like, good-looking, but you're, if he was in famous, you wouldn't be like,
Starting point is 00:34:00 damn, like I would hook up with him. And he's also really, really funny. So funny. So funny. And I just felt like wow, there's a couple that their personalities must mesh so well together because she could get like some really hot athlete and he could get like a, like us,
Starting point is 00:34:19 even though she's gorgeous, like a dumb supermodel that he doesn't have a shit about. Like I just felt like the relationship was so pure. And then I was reading about how they met. They kept running into each other. Like just kept like seeing each other in like the same circle. And finally she had one of her friends go up to him
Starting point is 00:34:37 and be like, here's Olivia's number. Fucking use it. And he would, I think that girls have to like forget that guys are actually so much more nervous than us. No nervous and so it. Oh my God. I think that girls have to forget that guys are actually so much more nervous than us. No nervous and so insecure. Yeah. They're big fears rejection. Right. And we give them too much credit that like, oh, they probably don't like me.
Starting point is 00:34:57 No, they probably do. You just scare them. And the only way to know if they like you or not is to at least put out a little olive branch. I was gonna say olive leaf. I thought you were gonna say just put out. That is like, oh, that isn't a pro. It's just being their bed naked and be like, hey, we never talked about it. Do you like me?
Starting point is 00:35:24 That's four word. It's four word. I've never talked about it. Do you like me? Oh, that's forward. It's forward, but for some reason, I always think of when I think of Olivia Wilde and Jason Sadekis, I think of the guy from the office and his girlfriend. You think of Emily, this is crazy if this is who I get. You think of Emily Blunt and John Krizen's gay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Yeah. Yeah. Like you think they're the other person? Like they just come to your brain. They are the same couple. Like when I started broke up, I was like, oh, that sucks for the guy from the office. Wait Hannah, that's so funny. It's a very similar couple. Yeah. It's like definitely gorgeous and hotter and like straight up comedian but like definitely funny. Funny.
Starting point is 00:36:12 And then he's like goofy hot. Yes dude that's so spot on. Okay if if John Krasinski and Emily Blum broke up though I'd have like a real problem. But do we know any details of why the other two broke up? So then I was looking at Dumas and it said that they broke up actually in the beginning of the year and they've been co-parenting and Dumas had posted. They do, they have two. They have a son and a daughter. They've Otis who is six and then they have a daughter Daisy who's four. But that they were seen out in New York City like together. So maybe it's just like a, hey, like we're just not in love with each other anymore, but like I love you as a person.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Let's be cool and be friends and take care of our kids, but like whatever. So I feel like it wasn't some big like tumultuous. Yeah. But these actors lifestyle is if you think about it like yeah they've never spent this much time together consecutively and it's like it's kind of sad that it's like oh the more time you spend with your loved one the person you're soulmate you're realizing you hate them. People said that they didn't notice this but in February he stayed to party with like some SNL people. I think he was on one night and she Got an award for book smart and he didn't attend like whatever awards ceremony
Starting point is 00:37:32 It was also they worked on that together. He was the We saw book smart together. Yeah, we did we went to the premiere together and saw Olivia Wilde's Oh my god, I forgot we saw okay gorgeous in person. I mean gorgeous. One of the people like round forehead goals like as a round forehead girl. I totally got what you're saying. stunning. You know what I mean. She she was flawless in person. She was tall. She was taller in person than I thought. She's also clearly so talented. She directed that movie. We loved it. And what did he do? Producer? No idea, but we saw it with Jordan.
Starting point is 00:38:10 And we saw it with... Our mod. With who? Our mod. Oh my ex. Yeah, we saw it with our mod and Jordan. Just in case it was lost. I had to whisper. I can't hear you.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Oh my god. When can we start our ASMR channel? Because actually, we're doing ASMR. Okay, now we're doing ASMR, Gagley Squad. Yeah. I feel like if we had any guy listeners, I just made them hard. Okay, next.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Okay, further fucking more Britney Spears. Oh my god, Britney Spears, I keep on wanting to read these intense narratives that these magazines are. And we have to talk about Larsa. Okay, let's do Brit and then we'll do Larsa. I just want you to tell me what's happening with Brit because I can't read all these articles. I know I'm going to break it down in a couple sentences.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Sometimes people go too into detail and it's like, I don't need to know that she like had breakfast. Yeah. Okay. So basically the judge ruled that they're not taking her father off the conservatorship, but they added in a new co-conservator that's going to add more eyes on things. And it's a company. So it's a legitimate, hold on, let me find the name of it. Do you think she's been acting so weird
Starting point is 00:39:30 as a way to symbolize she needs help and all the stuff she's doing are like symbols of saying help me? Like actually on Instagram, like you're saying like the same news. She's doing like more code stuff, like the amount of time she walks in and out of frame or like the color she's wearing and that like, cause like she's doing like Morse code stuff like the amount time she walks in and out of frame Like the color she's wearing and that like because like she's acting very strange. I
Starting point is 00:39:50 mean I don't know if she's that calculating and This all happened like in 2007 and Like okay, so like the point of the conservatorship is that she's not mentally capable of handling her life. But I feel like that could make you go even more crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:16 You actually are. Also, who cares what the bitch does with her money? Like take your 20% manager and let her live. Like, I don't know. It's true. This is like really annoying me that they can't find the name of this company, but whatever. So it's actually a good thing. The outcome of what happened, like yeah, she wants him off, but the judge also didn't rule
Starting point is 00:40:40 that she couldn't come back again and be like, no, I really want him off. So at some point, he could come off, but there's also other people. What is the dead thing through all this? Is he just quiet? The dead is just like, I'm not, I'm not fucking leaving. The dead is literally in under the cabrio
Starting point is 00:40:56 and the wolf will get straight. The dead's like, drag me bitch, drag me. So, and also the dead's getting paid. So obviously, he's not trying to leave anywhere. So it's a corporate trustee to sit alongside her father to give more of an objective perspective. So she's going to be better. She's going to be way better.
Starting point is 00:41:20 But it's not amazing. It's also like if she can't function because she can't even handle her money, how is she having a full-on relationship with a man? Hold on, this other thing says, I'm public financial records revealed that Spears loves to shop on household supplies, frequently visiting Target Home Depot,
Starting point is 00:41:40 Walmart, Bed Bath, and Beyond and more, and travels frequently. The singer was recently spotted in exotic location who I Miami Turks and Kicos. That sounds like everyone loves to talk. Normal thing. That's the thing I've ever heard. Literally. He's like this bitch goes to home goods to get candles every single week. So does everyone.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Also, if I was Britney Spears, I would have fucking buy the home goods. Bro, I can't. I'm dumb with Jamie Spears. Jamie. Oh it's up to dad. That's the same. Also any dad that names his daughter the same name as him. Grow up. Oh my god I didn't even think of that.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Imagine if my name was Gary and Gary's name wasn't Gary. Okay what's going on? Well wait it actually be really cute here. Name was Danny, like D-A-N-I. Danny and Daniel. Yeah. You love boys' names for girls. I love boys' names for girls.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Why is that? Like, I love my mom hates it, so we all know that I won't be able to do it. But I love the name Ryan for a girl. I could totally see you doing that. love like the name Ryan for a girl. I could totally see you doing that. I love the name Jordan for a girl. I'm naming my daughter Lucy because it's my middle name. Oh yeah, I said that. You said that before. I can't say my actual baby name because I don't trust you guys.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Someone will take it and like it can't have that. Literally like people are not that obsessed with you that they're gonna steal your baby name. You don't know that for sure. Watch me, maybe it might be the baby name. Yeah, I know you're gonna do it. Just like, just to piss me off. And you're like, just kidding. We're changing the birth certificate.
Starting point is 00:43:16 You're like gonna play a prank on me when you have a child. Like, it's gonna be totally not a child soon. Okay, let's do Larsa Pipin. Yeah. I need to know, cause like I just saw the post and I couldn't get into reading it, tell me. Okay, first of all, I would love to be friends with Jordan Woods just to like know what she's thinking.
Starting point is 00:43:36 So she did like this whole interview. She did this whole public thing where she's talking about all the Kardashians. The ironic? Yeah, it was a big no-no The ironic? The ironic part is that when Jordan Woods got the red table talk and was, you know, speaking her truth, Larsa was tweeting at her like, I solved my problems in private. Like I can't believe you're doing all of this. Larsa's just jealous that no one gives a shit about
Starting point is 00:44:08 like how she feels. She thought she was gonna get a red table talk. Like, and everyone was just like, we're in 2020 and we like, we don't care. Like did she get in a big fight? So she's saying that the Kardashians aren't her friend anymore because Kanye brainwashed them all against her. And she's saying that she's the only one that ever would pick up Kanye's phone calls
Starting point is 00:44:31 when he was like going on these rants at like 4 a.m. in the morning. And I think as I said 4 a.m. in the morning. No, I'm laughing. What kind of husband is going on rants that you need your friend to answer their phone at 4am to listen to his rants? Could you imagine if I woke up tonight at 4am and does was just calling me and I was just like, hello? It's fucking insane.
Starting point is 00:44:59 And then they're probably just like, he's a creative artist. He's an artist. Let him be creative. And so she blocked him. just like he's a creative artist, like he's an artist. Let him be creative and yell at everyone. And so she blocked him. And she's saying that's like what caused the riff and whatever. And then when they're talking about Tristan,
Starting point is 00:45:14 she said that she brought Tristan to a party. And then, and that's where like she met everyone. And then 10 days later, he was date like seeing Chloe. And Chloe was like, the word dating is a stretch. Larsa wasn't dating him. Oh wait, she was saying she brought him to a party while she was seeing him. Correct.
Starting point is 00:45:37 And then he met, and he met Chloe. And then 10 days later, he's dating Chloe. Here's the thing. I hate when girls are like yeah we dated and I'm like bitch you went on one date. You have to have a thing with someone for like a month two months to be like oh yeah we were like in place each other. If you touch a guy that your friend went on one date with, no one would be able to date anyone. You know, we'd all be single for the rest of our lives. You would be cool talking. It's called talking.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Here's the thing also, you do have like that one, maybe two people that like you had a thing with, maybe you didn't fully date them or maybe you did, that your friends all know like, if you even brought that shit up to like talk to him I would murder you. Yeah. I have like a couple of those where I'm like no. Well those hurt the most the guys you didn't actually date but there's a difference between like messing around with a guy for months and it not getting there because he was bullied in third grade and he has attachment issues or what are the fuck his problem is sorry
Starting point is 00:46:48 Brother fucking more But but if you went on two dates with the guy you talked to him. That's called talking You think two dates If you went on three dates and it just never won anywhere I mean my thing is also like if you did not fall for the guy and he's clearly hitting it off so much better with someone else, who are you to stop love? Right.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Like if I really don't give a shit about you, I'm like, you could like have sex with my mom. Like I don't care. Or those guys I've liked, but like if they got along so well with one of my friends, I want love. Like I want people to be happy and like clearly we were not meant to be.
Starting point is 00:47:26 But yeah, there's some more. I literally want everyone to be so in love. It would be so much. Like I don't, who am I to stand in front of you? Also, so in love. Is Larsa like not gonna get slammed, but like with legal fees, or like getting sued and stuff for this? Who knows.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Also. Also, Larsa Pippin was on selling sunset. Dude, Larsa Pippin was on selling sunset. Dude, Larsa Pippin was also real housewives of Miami. What? Yeah, okay. Larsa calm down. No, Larsa's thirsty.
Starting point is 00:47:53 I mean, as of this date. I totally get wanting to get attention, but there's a difference between wanting it so bad and deserving it. You know what I mean? We're hard for it, don't just like cause drama for no reason. Yeah, have a thing. Yeah, like what's your thing, Larsa?
Starting point is 00:48:10 Like what is your thing? Like is it alphidetes? Yeah. Yeah. Is it mental health moments? No. Is it heart jokes? Is it horoscopes, but what it's about like horror?
Starting point is 00:48:22 No, because you're not that clever to think of that. So what's your thing? Wow, I'm gonna start saying that to people. What's your thing? Okay, Jordan Woods also tweeted, make it make sense. So Jordan's actually taking the Kardashians side? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Wow. Because she probably also know, because she probably has such other in like infatter info She's obviously hung with Larsa like a thousand times So she probably knows like this bit just but also feels like Larsa's throwing a ton of shit at the debt Whatever at the wall and seeing what sticks like spaghetti a thousand percent. It's like I Think you have one we're gonna be like Up in arms. Yeah, like no one's choosing.
Starting point is 00:49:05 You are the best. And they're like, when you don't, I'm sorry, don't bring anything. We were like, why are you so late? We like, we put up with you because Kim liked you. But like, we didn't care. Also, the Kardashians have done so much for her. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:19 I mean. Also, she's Scotty Pippin's ex. I just want people to know that. If you watch the microdrawn documentary, Scotty Pippin, that's the word Pippin's ex. I just want people to know that if you watch the microdrawn doctor, man, or a Scottie Pippin That's the word Pippin. Okay. What do we have next? Oh, Trees, did you guys have a new boyfriend? We love that for her. I really love that. Was she like obsessed with juicy Joe in the beginning? Like were they cute? Did you so cute? They were so cute. He never liked her though. I feel like he was always mean to her and it always pissed me off
Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah, but she like was obsessed with him. So this is an empowering moment. I was hoping she would get with the pool guy because the pool guy's fucking hot. I'll get with the pool guy. The pool guy was hot. We all were like, leave your man. I was like, suddenly I need a pool in my studio apartment. This is weird.
Starting point is 00:50:04 So we're so happy for Trey Trey. We love him. They were seen at, he has two boys. I feel like they're just like modern day Brady bond. You know, she has four girls. He has two boys. They're just like living their best lives. They were seen spotted out this weekend at like one of their, I think his son's like,
Starting point is 00:50:27 one of his games or something. Where did I can't even find the story? I'm doing this literally all for a memory right now. He's the co-founder of a digital media solutions company. So he's just like a normal. That means he's rich when you don't know what that means. Like he can't. Launches first.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. If you can explain the company, it means he's rich. Dude, if someone says what they do and I'm just like what I'm like so you're rich And like I don't know what those words I mean think a ton of the real housewives husbands You've no idea what they do Investing what is that? What is that? Do you like what is Doree's husband do? He's a manager of what?
Starting point is 00:51:06 Celebrities. He is? Yeah. I don't know that. Also, what is PK stand for? I think it was last name's Clemsley. So his first name I think is Peter. I'm self-explanatory. So his first name I think is Peter
Starting point is 00:51:30 I'm either really fucking smarter. We're both so dumb Actually physics is Speaking of bravo. I think it's the perfect time to do what we're binging right now because there is some amazing stuff No, there's some wild things happening. What are you watching right now? Salt Lake City. First thoughts. First initial thoughts. Salt Lake City, I'm not gonna lie, they were marketing it down our throats,
Starting point is 00:51:54 which they always do. It's kind of like most dramatic season ever and we're like, okay, Chris Harrison, whatever. I turned it on. Obsessed. No, obsessed. Messy, weird, crazy. How swivels are also so good when the people aren't famous because they want the fame so bad,
Starting point is 00:52:11 so they do the most ridiculous shit. Like, for example, this woman Jen threw a party for Meredith. And it clearly was just her party. Yeah, she had a flower ball with her name on it. Name on it. And the producer was like, was this just a party for you? Like, what did the dancers have to do with Meredith? And she was like, she thought about it.
Starting point is 00:52:37 And she was like, no, that was for me. She, I can't wait to watch Jen thrive. Yeah, I've she's gonna be what I think she's weirdly likeable. Yes, she's weirdly likeable. Like when she first came on the screen, I was like, this bitch is going to be a nightmare. And I was like, I kind of like fuck with her. But then as if the two knew you were.
Starting point is 00:53:02 I met her husband, we met her family, and I was like, no. I love that. I love her. And then there's the two New York girls, Meredith's one, or they were Jewish, whatever. And then the other one, I forget her name. But she's the Lisa?
Starting point is 00:53:16 Yeah. She's the one that pretended she didn't know. And I was like, so you're shooting a reality show. And you know one of the girls is the cast members and someone says you went way back with her like to college and you go not really what does that mean Paige? Like you're better at girl code than me you went to an all-girl school what was that interaction? She's big dogging her she's big dogging her she was like no I knew you in college but how dare you put me in your circling college.
Starting point is 00:53:45 I was way better than that. I don't know what you did. Yeah, I knew who you were, but you weren't in my inner circle. Yeah. And now I know you in our adult life, but don't act like we were homies. Yeah, like don't act that.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Back to that. She's big dogging her. I mean, girl code 101, I mean, always said, we said this over the summer, if you really wanna get at someone, you pretend that you don't know who they are. That's literally the meanest thing you can do. I don't, sorry, I remember getting him. I remember getting him.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Forget their name. But my question to you is if you were Heather, what's the best way to respond when a mean girl is big-dogging him? You laugh. You're like, oh, she didn't remember me? Yeah, I got it. Because Heather, I didn't love how she was like,
Starting point is 00:54:28 she thinks she's better than me. And it's like, yeah, we all know that you don't have to. But I feel like what I would have done is I would have been like, oh, interesting. She's got stuff to hide. Like just turn it up to her. Like turn up to her, be like, I don't know what she's so embarrassed about.
Starting point is 00:54:42 I'm not gonna say anything. That was in person. You'd be like, yeah, no, I would. I what she's so embarrassed about. I'm not gonna say anything. That was in a thousand percent. You'd be like, yeah, no, I would. I've seen her in college. She was, yeah. No, I'd say I didn't know me either. Yeah, like, I'd be like so much better. I'd be like, I mean, I was being nice to say
Starting point is 00:54:55 we were friends, like, obviously we were impressed friends, but like, I was being nice, but if she won, mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, keep it, keep it mysterious. Don't just be, yeah, don't be on, but don't be going. She thinks she's cooler than me. Because I was like, bitch, you are cool.
Starting point is 00:55:08 You married like the king of, of, um, Mormonism. Dude, that's another thing. It's kind of wild. Like the whole Mormon, do wait. The woman that's married to her step-grandfather. No, I, no, I can't. My thing is, first of all, it's selfish of the Nana to her step-grandfather. Nice. No, I can't. No, I can't. First of all, it's selfish of the nana
Starting point is 00:55:29 or the grandma to be like, you don't get to get your own man's. I need, when I die, you need to watch my man's and make sure he's not with anyone else. That's literally what she is. Like what? She is like, what? The fuck?
Starting point is 00:55:42 She was like, I'm dead, so I can't have these crazy bitches around. You watch him. You watch him. I'd be like, Grandma, no thank you. It's like when my grandma dies, give me your like, her veil is your dress. Like, I want your diamonds.
Starting point is 00:55:53 I want like, I don't want your man's. I don't want your man's. Dude, that is the craziest thing ever. And wait, are they all not drinking? So, this is the thing. I played BYU in college. I went to Utah. And these girls, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:56:09 They're wearing this little short tennis skirt. It's like full makeup. And the people I was talking to were like, yes, so you sign something at BYU that says you can't drink. You don't drink coffee. You will not have sex. That's part of the Mormonism of BYU. Like basketball players have been kicked out
Starting point is 00:56:25 because they were found having sex. So I'm looking at this girl. She looks like a totally normal girl. If anything, a little bit, she looks like fun. And they're like, no, she doesn't drink or have sex. And in my head, I'm like, but then I realized the Mormon community, they said at these parties, there's the ones who do drink, who aren't Mormons,
Starting point is 00:56:45 and then the Mormons who are just like don't tell anyone we're drinking. So there's like a modern culture to it, and I kind of love that we're seeing that. Yeah, I mean because... I love drinking. Like I love drinking. You know, like I look forward to that shit. I look forward to sitting down at a dinner with my girlfriends and being like, run that back, another round. Pige, pitch.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Are you okay? We'll talk about it next episode. No, but it's so crazy because like I don't know any, I don't think I know one person that's Mormon. Like I don't know anything about it. I know. And also I had no idea that Salt Lake City had this like wealth.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Like, what have I been living under a rock? Also, we talked about Potomac fashion and then not finding their way in every, like every franchise finds their fashion way. Salt Lake City came out and they were like, no, we know our fashion, this is us. Oh my God. Did you love the feathery pink that you wore? I was like, okay. So now I need a
Starting point is 00:57:47 home in Salt Lake City. Wait, I'm obsessed with that for us. Also, they love like, wait, we have to talk about the greatest character of the show though. Brooks, Brooks hands down best character. So Brooks is the gay son of Meredith who came in not giving a flying fawk. Literally, he's like, I don't want to be here. And he calls, and also him and his dad love each other, but his dad's a huge dick, clearly. He's like, dad, he's seriously didn't even come over for mom's birthday, whatever. I have to go this party alone. Can you just FaceTime me?
Starting point is 00:58:22 And he was like, I just let all these candles. I'm so tired. I was like, I need you to be my friend, yes or no? He's amazing. He's amazing. But then later on, you see the dad call Meredith out being like, are you cheating on me? Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:58:39 The thing with these housewives shows is like, you need to get your whole fucking family down for the mess. Yeah, you have to. You need to be like, are you ready to get messy? Like, you have to turn on your own family on TV. Right, because like Lisa's husband doesn't really like her, right? Lisa.
Starting point is 00:58:56 Oh, I haven't looked at it. It's kind of crazy when you can see couples on screen for the first time. You're just like, yeah, so you guys don't really fuck with each other, right? Oh my god. You know, like it's just like interesting. It's where like Jen and her husband, her husband's obsessed with her. Who?
Starting point is 00:59:13 Jen. Yeah. He's like, you don't have to do anything just look pretty and I'm like, I don't have anything to do with Jen. I'm like, where's your husband? She's like, oh, he's gone. So he doesn't know how much money I spend
Starting point is 00:59:25 and the mess that we do to the house during the party when he comes back, it's perfect. Yeah, I love that relationship. Oh, anyway. Wait, what about the blonde? What's her name? Who? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:59:37 They just threw in a Val Renuel and she was like, yes, we were cheating on our spouses. I was like, what's going on here? And then her dad is like a drug addict, which we see later on. The guy with like the black hair. Yeah. And she is so sweet looking,
Starting point is 00:59:51 but it's like they basically both got kicked out from the church. And then the final thing is the fact that there was a full, full fight because Mary, so the gens smelled like, and I quote, hospital. And it was at that moment that I got to question. And I questioned why I'm not friends
Starting point is 01:00:13 with all of these people. You know, like, it was just, it was TV gold. It was TV gold. And like, how's it? We thought we have thought about some dumb shit. This was up there. I say we because I feel like I'm trying. I mean, Lucy, Lucy, Apple, Goosey.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. So everyone's here in the police city. This is gonna be ridiculous fights. And I think you smell like hospital is top five. And then she would, I think Jen just wanted a sorry.
Starting point is 01:00:42 But the girl was like, then she goes, I have really, really dark memories in hospitals, which is a sorry, but the girl was like, then she goes, I have really, really dark memories in hospitals, which is totally valid, but then she was like, I got my odor pores removed. Wait, I think I missed her saying that. That's what she said, she told me. That's what she said, she told me. It was when I got my odor pores removed.
Starting point is 01:00:57 First of all, didn't know those are things. Second of all, it sounds like, I don't think that's it. It sounds like a thing that you decided to do, like an elective surgery. I thought she was gonna be like, my whole family died in the hospital once. She goes, I got, my odor pores are moved
Starting point is 01:01:10 and it was super dark and I can't smell hospital and you smell like hospital. And the other girl's like, yeah, my aunt got her legs amputated. I'm like, okay, how many times do we have to say the word in your door? We can do it. I can't even, I actually don't wanna know.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I don't even, I don't wanna know. I don't need the science. I think Mary's turning into the villain. Well, she's starting off villainy. And who's your favorite so far? Oh God, that's so hard. Okay, I think Lisa is like such a bitch, but I fucking love her.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Like I like Lisa, Meredith. I do like Jett. Okay, also, there's a lot of work going on in Salt Lake City. Like they're doing a lot. Oh, a lot. Oh, they're like in it. They're already in it. A lot of plastic surgery is happening.
Starting point is 01:01:55 The Jenn's face can't move. The Jenn was very open about it. Jenn was like, very open. I just want to try everything. I love when they're open about it. It just, and the Meredith was funny too. She's like, I want to look everything. I love when they're open about it. It just and yeah, Meredith was funny too She's like I want to look like I'm 36, but I'm 50 or whatever Meredith looks great though Meredith is actually if she does do plastic surgery, which I'm sure she does like Botox
Starting point is 01:02:16 She's doing it right. She's a genius. I just broke The unsung hero of Salt Lake Okay, we have two more shows. We're gonna review before we have to wrap this up. Okay, here's another hot take. The unduing on HBO. You started it, right? I'm all the way caught up. Oh, you're all the way caught up.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Okay, it's Nicole Kidman, Hugh Grant, Heavy Line Up, everyone's watching it. What's our opinion? I fucking love it. I've so many conspiracy theories but I don't even want to say them because I want people to have the opportunity to watch the show. I think the number one thing I love so much about it is that it's set on the upper east side. Yes and it's super weird to see the city so busy and hectic when it's just like not like that right now. I even think of that. Like people are just running around in the show unmasked.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Yeah, and like, I mean, the traffic, that stuff is not happening right now in New York City. Right. But also, I have a hot take. Okay. I think the writing doesn't live up to the actors. The right, wow. Like, you ever see a scene where you're just like,
Starting point is 01:03:24 mmm, I could have, I could have used more words or just better. Like, sometimes the lines that like, even like the police officers, it's like, okay, and then some scenes that's like unnecessary. I don't know. I just think, I just think it's not that good. It's not well. You think it, okay, okay. I think the script is that great. I think the plot is great. I think the script isn't great And I'm sounding really artsy. Sorry You're like in further fucking more the writing Sorry, what do you have to say?
Starting point is 01:04:03 I was gonna get my high horse. Um, I didn't pick up on that, but I did pick up on the actors are phenomenal. Like, amazing. I love Hugh Grant. I love Hugh Grant so much. She's so, so hot too. And I feel like I've really only started to love his acting within the past couple of
Starting point is 01:04:26 years. But funny. He always plays the guy who cheats. Oh, you think? Well, remember like Bridget Jones. Oh, yeah. And then he always plays like with like, damn it. Yeah, he's always like a funny like.
Starting point is 01:04:42 He's like a fuckboy and every. Yeah. And I just think like in, later in his career, I don't even know how old he is, he's probably like what, late 50s or early 60s. I feel like he's really just become an amazing actor and I just really love him and I think he's fun. I wanna like hang out with him and get a drink, you know? Look at him, I would have sex with him.
Starting point is 01:05:04 I would have sex with him. But I want like hang out with him. get a drink, you know? Look at him, sleep with him, but I wanna like hang out with him. No, I would have sex with him. Yeah, I don't know. And I love Nicole Kidman. Actually, Nicole Kidman is my dad's number one celebrity crush. So my mom doesn't love that. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:16 I did not see that for him. She is fast thing, because she's had so much work done. But I still, her face is so beautiful. You get like lost in her eyes. So beautiful. I was watching this with a friend and I was, we were taking bets like how old you think Nicole Kidman actually is. How old do you think she is? 48. 48 interesting. I think she's actually, here we go, 53.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Oh wow. See, when I guessed that, I said older. Yeah. So like for 53, I think she looks phenomenal. She looks incredible, but also there's something about her just as an actress that like, she never loses me. Like I'm never like, okay.
Starting point is 01:06:04 And it's the guy that made the undoing is the same guy that did big little lies. Amazing. And little fires everywhere so like you know it's good. We're gonna end with one piece of a base. How do you not fucking forget everything in your life? No. It's from atarika.listen. L-I-S-T-O-N.
Starting point is 01:06:23 How do you tell your amazing husband that his butt hair is getting too much? You just fucking tell him. You say bend over and you get a razor. Figure it out back there. Also, you've been dating him or married him for a while. How long is it like you finally one day snapped and you're like, I can't do Because like are you start to grow longer but here? Also like are you around there a lot like in those part like we're doing that's really what we need Like to ask her a question about like what are you what's going on or be like if you're saying you want to look his Butthole be like you know be so nice if it wasn't a whole rainforest and journey for me to get to where I need to get to.
Starting point is 01:07:09 I think if you're married, not that I have any experience or know anything, I just really get if you're married, you can say whatever you want no matter what. When it comes to physicality things, I think you figure that out. Yeah, straight up, get a tweezer and start like tweezing his eyebrows if I felt like it. I feel like that's when you're
Starting point is 01:07:28 really in love when you want to like manicure that person. Yeah, like you've received a little white hat and you're like gonna get that. I love pop, but that's because I love popping pimples. So it has nothing to do with me being in love. But I don't know if I've ever wanted to like make that person aesthetically better. Also, I don't think it's insulting for someone to say, hey, this crevice of your body is too much hair. He's probably Italian, he's probably Persian, he's probably one of the two. But also, if someone said that to us, we'd be like, how fucking dare you comment.
Starting point is 01:07:58 Oh, literally, a guy said that to me once. He said he wants me to shave my butt more often, like back in the day, because he said that it, or like he was like really OCD and germaphob. I told you. Oh, interesting. I have heard about this guy. Yeah, like I would like eat popcorn, they would drop.
Starting point is 01:08:18 You know, like obviously, for some reason you don't eat popcorn one at a time, you just put like a whole handful of in your mouth and you miss some. So I would like pick it up from the couch and he's like, don't eat that and I a time, you just put like a whole handful of in your mouth and you miss some. So I'd like pick it up from the couch and he's like, don't eat that. And I would eat it. And I'd be like, what, you're not gonna fucking kiss me now?
Starting point is 01:08:29 Like he was so annoying. We'd fight all the time. Well, is he having an okay time during COVID? You should check on him. I know, but like he's probably thriving because he would do the whole thing where he wouldn't touch the like elevator button. He would do the knuckle.
Starting point is 01:08:42 But then like living that life, it started to make me be crazy because it's like this germs everywhere. So he at one point was like, yeah, can you shave your butthole more? And I was like, yeah, you're fucking crazy, whatever. I think it's so hot. I think it's hot when you just go to.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Yeah, I'm gonna do it too. But like you're so weird, dude. You're so weird. So weird. Like I want a guy to just want all of me and I decide like, oh, but I feel super sexy when I do this. Not because he's like, I think it's gross when your butthole is just, you know, your hairs are just blowing in the wind.
Starting point is 01:09:14 Yeah, I feel like my body is like a smooth peach. So. I'm that note. You guys know. Thank you for giggling with us. We have a live friends giving show. Oh yeah, on Wednesday. On Wednesday.
Starting point is 01:09:28 Wednesday. Yeah, on the 18th, get tickets at 10 bucks. It's gonna be fun. Page and Amanda are gonna be there. Our Patreon is lit. Our Patreon is lit. We are working on merch. We don't give dates because we fuck it up.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Like a second we give a date. It like we jinx ourselves. It'll be before December. Yes. And then subscribe, rate, review. It means so much. Even if you have to say something mean we don't care. It's like the total number of reviews that help kick this rock.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Yeah, just like English, right? You know, like, Algra at the Alonstown. And we love you guys so much. We love you. Bye. Bye. Thanks for giggling with us. so much. We miss you.
Starting point is 01:10:04 Bye. Bye. Thanks for giggling with us.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.