Giggly Squad - Giggling about lobotomies, past lives, and old money
Episode Date: May 10, 2023We're in San Diego getting in deep conversations for no reason. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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What is up my glittering gigglers we are in San Diego and we're sweaty and I like to call sweat glitter. That was so good and so infomercial like,
I, you are cold leader because I was drawn in.
I was like, can you buy the sweat glitter?
You speak up.
I almost want to jog this morning so I could sparkle
and glitter everywhere, but I won't.
Now we're in the West Coast again.
How do we end up here? How do we end up here?
How did we end up here?
We got bamboozled, let us try.
Honestly?
Okay, this is like so funny.
Now that we've been doing Gagley Squad Live so often
and they're so fun and we try and go to every single city
we can, we travel each day to a new city.
We will be walking on stage
and in-hannimal look at each other quick and say,
what city are we in?
What city are we in? Because when we walk on, we're like, what the fuck's up, Phoenix?
And like, it's like once you're there, there's a pretty obvious difference between crowds.
Like Denver was high off their mind.
No, so high, it was actually making me laugh.
Like, I felt like...
Like Dallas is screaming yelling Denver,
it was just like a constant high giggle.
Yeah.
Yeah, like when you get the joke late, when you're high,
like when you're high and someone says a joke
and you have to think about it for like two seconds longer
than you're like, ha ha, yeah, that's good.
Exactly.
Like that was our whole show.
And you were the one you were like,
I think they're high, like we're in Denver.
And I was like, no.
And then in the meet and greet, everyone was giving you weed. And I was like,
yeah. Literally, I have like seven joints right now, like on my person, because people are just,
I have gummies, I have eyelashes. We have gotten some of the craziest gifts from people. And it's so
We have gotten some of the craziest gifts from people and it's so sweet and so nice. We got a sex towel.
Yeah, so woman gave us a towel that you put down on the bed.
For squirting periods or just being a messy bitch.
Yeah.
Should we do some fun-based news?
We'll just like get right into it.
Okay.
You have funny stories.
I don't really have any funny stories, but we can laugh about them.
Kim Zolsey, I can Cory Bierman, 12 years married, Fadford Vores.
When did this happen?
Like literally this morning. Apparently they owe the IRS more than $1 million in unpaid taxes.
I like how it correlates with divorce. Are the crisly staying together though through their jail time?
Oh my God, I would assume that when you're in jail, you can't do legal things outside
in the world.
Even if they wanted to get divorced, can you file for divorce while you're in jail?
People get married when they're in jail.
Oh yeah, people do get married when they're in jail.
If you're into a bad boy.
Wait, you know what's so crazy
that we've never talked about
and for how much we love cult
and we love murder documentaries
that there are people that write to people in jail
and then they get married.
Full relationships.
I think there's a whole show about it.
Most people can't get a text back
from the average person, because everyone's busy.
When someone's in jail, he's available.
No, remember years and years ago,
this is the first murder I remember as a child
when Peterson was their last name.
When he killed his wife on a camping trip or something.
That was the first murder I remember.
The trial was on TV.
The fucked up thing though,
is that people think the guys are like hot, the murderers, and
they're gonna start messaging them or not messaging, writing.
But it made me think I like women like men who can just like execute a plan.
Regardless of it's like super bloody and people died.
They're like, he made a plan.
He's stuck to it.
He's stuck to it.
And that's perseverance.
It's actually fucked up.
If I...
Kills like eight people went to jail, I don't feel like dudes would be messaging me.
Right.
I feel like there's way opposite.
There's not as many guys writing to women who are in jail.
Because the bar is so low for men.
They're like, yeah, he did murder nine people, but like he is really pretty eyes
But like the cleanup was amazing they literally almost didn't catch him because that's how neat and hidey He's so smart also speaking of us getting trouble
I do want to just have a little asterisk on the last episode. I think I told
Everyone to get off their birth control and I just want to say I'm not a dog
Oh my god, thank you for clearing that up because I actually did think.
I didn't work.
For anyone who thought I was a doctor for a second,
definitely talk to your doctor first,
but also just in the back of your head,
if you're dealing with depression, hormones can affect it.
I'm going to be honest, I didn't talk to my doctor.
I didn't talk to my doctor.
I was just like, because you know, you're like,
that's part of us, like not liking authority.
Yeah.
I was just like, I don't even just tell that bitch what I'm doing.
I'm going rogue.
Also, someone was like, hey, don't tell people just like pull out
because like, I had four kids doing that.
So like, if you are getting your medical advice from us,
though, I would really evaluate, that's a you problem.
I would reevaluate something in your life.
We're just telling you what we did.
And this is not a self-help podcast.
In no way have we ever claimed this to be self-published.
Oh, it could possibly help as you being like,
that's not a good idea.
Never claimed for this to be accurate information.
We just want to make ourselves laugh
and also make you guys laugh.
Nothing that we say is real or true.
Speaking of craziness with women,
I got on a weird TikTok algorithm about lobotomies.
You know that?
You see that?
You just give women lobotomies all the time.
If they were too emotional and too,
they would say
that they were crazy and then they would literally
take their brands out.
Apeba, you yelling at me for my TikTok algorithm yesterday
and then you show up here today and you're like,
I'm on lobotomie TikTok.
The nerve.
You're on the first TikTok scaring yourself.
I love conspiracy TikTok.
It helps my brain be creative.
That's how it starts.
Next thing you know, you are the face of January 6th.
Hahaha.
No, it's a lobotomy.
It takes like, apparently it was one of the Kennedys,
one of their sisters.
Yeah, one of the girls.
One of the girls got a lobotomy,
and she was young and they were showing her
pre-imposed lobotomy.
It's really sad.
They just like take your life away.
They basically make you brain damaged because they think they're help.
Yeah, they thought they were like helping.
I wonder, you know, just get off your birth control.
You know, in a lobotomy.
I wonder what like, people back then that got lobotomies, like now what their diagnosis
would have been, like I wonder if they were just like severe ADHD
or like bipolar or something that was like easily
could be fixed or how-
Yeah, medication.
And they were just like, you know what?
I think the best course of action is to just-
I just feel like no woman would have signed off on this.
A lobotomy.
Yeah.
Or what about like back in the day when they used to do like shock therapy and like?
No, it was because like no women were in STEM
like us and no one was like,
hey, it was the men were like,
we don't understand these crazy creatures,
but we want to make sure we could still use their vagina.
Yeah.
But like, can we just like cut their fucking head off?
Yeah.
And like that's, everyone will be happy.
Yeah.
If there was one woman doctor, she'd be like,
mm, I don't think this woman's crazy
I think she's hates her husband because he's cheating on her and he's abusive and she's speaking up
I think we've been in a real
Men hating era
The past I've never not been weak
Yeah, but it's been heightened for some reason. Yeah. What do you think caused it?
Yeah, what do you think caused it? We were in the birth control.
We were in the birth control.
We literally got off the drugs they've been giving us.
And they're like, wait a second, this all makes sense.
You guys saw it.
Do you think that men created birth control to track us?
Oh, and I'm unconsciously sick, I think.
No, I mean, long story short, in history,
contraception was the reason women were able to like get jobs and stuff and like
become feminist icons because they weren't just stuck at home having babies all this time.
You know that right? No, I actually really don't think I ever put two and two together.
Before birth control women literally were just like baby makers. That's all they did.
Baby making machines. Yeah, and if they wanted a career they would end up getting pregnant and
like have to stay home.
So birth control enabled women to say,
I don't want a baby right now
because I want to live my own life
and not just be a baby proper.
It's so crazy.
Like, like as you get older,
obviously you think about life in like different ways
than each stage of your life.
But because they don't have any grandmas,
I actually don't have any grandparents,
but I legit wanna go to dinner at Nana's house
and spend like a full night there and ask,
like I feel like I have a lot of questions
that I wasn't able to ask my grandma of just like,
what, what was that like knowing like,
okay, when you got out of high school,
you were getting married and you were having a baby.
Like, do you think Nana was ever like,
no, I have a story.
Tell.
So, my Nana was the youngest of three,
and her parents came over from Italy,
but the parents really wanted to be American,
but they were like traditional.
Yep.
If Nana was born,
then it's 82 now.
Okay, so she'd have been born in the 30s.
Around there.
The late 30s.
I mean, an vintage queen.
Literally. So, she was. I mean, an vintage queen, literally.
So she was like very smart, very athletic, very funny,
and she was beautiful.
She told her dad at 18 years old
that she wanted to go to art school.
Okay, and he cried.
Yeah, sobbed.
How are you gonna knock at a husband?
Yeah.
How are you gonna knock at a husband? How are you going to knock at a husband?
So she never went to art school and married my papa and they've been together forever
and he was amazing.
But then her job was taking care of the home, raising children.
And then my mom was the first generation of women in my family to go to college, which
is kind of crazy to think about.
Like I'm only second generation college.
No, that's, and wait, yeah, same.
It's crazy.
And like, your mom was from a traditional household.
It's so funny because my mom always says,
like her dad told her, look, you're a graduated high school,
you're gonna go to college and you're gonna become an accountant.
That's what you're going to do.
Oh wow.
And she was just like,
okay, I'll go be an accountant.
So she went, became an accountant.
And like then years later, she was like,
if I had, like I would never not do what my dad said,
but if I had thought more about it,
I would have gone and became a lawyer.
But I actually think my mom should have like moved to New York and did what I did.
That's why I think our moms love us because we kind of understand what we want and like
living it with us.
And I was going to say live by Karestli but they really are living it with us.
No, they're living it with us.
I don't think it's by Karestli at all because my mom's making decisions for me.
Yeah, I feel like my mom would get too nervous to do some of the things that we do, but
like watching us do it and having like a first-hand experience.
But think about it back in the day, women, if you had, like, my man was a virgin.
Yeah, that's nice.
And she got married because she wanted to have sex.
Yeah.
And they guess they weren't doing it at that point.
But I think God, she married the love of her life.
But back then, it's love is about the story you tell yourself.
So if you really believe, he's the one I'm supposed to lose it to.
And this is what's meant for me.
It's beautiful and it works.
It is crazy.
Nowadays, everyone's just on apps, just swiping.
But back then, women would just get pregnant at 17.
And that's your life.
Then you're a mom for the rest of your life. and it's crazy because my Nana now is having a research and so for a career
Anana still got it yep because all she wanted she would have been a full-on
Info answer if she was our age. Yes, she would have had a podcast. She loves to paint wait the doors fully open
No, this hotel has kind of been wild like I was woken up like seven times in the middle of the night
if it just drunk people in the hallway.
And at one point I was like, I thought someone's trying to get into my room
because I heard a guy go, there's a girl in that room.
And I literally was sitting in bed.
I paused like my show and I was like, oh my god,
people are trying to break in my room.
I love how every single place we go,
you think you're gonna get kidnapped,
but you're like, you're kind of at a 0% success rate of being kidnapped.
Not to...
Because I'm so good at getting out of it.
Yeah, actually, you've been in some...
I have been in some...
We were in the Uber on our way to the hotel
from the airport in San Diego,
and I was fully convinced that the guy was taking us
to be sex trafficked, but I couldn't tell Hannah
because they didn't want to alarm her.
And also didn't want the Uber driver to know
that I was on to him.
So I continued my conversation with Hannah,
but when I saw him do the rear view mirror
so that he could look at me, I got suspicious.
Well, that's, and so then I double-tracked the location
of where we were and where we were going.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, he asked what the R Hotel was.
And I was like, you have the address.
And so then I was making sure the entire way we were driving that he was in fact driving the correct way
That's so funny because I was just blabbing your ear off. No, you didn't shut up. I didn't shut off
I was like I'm in the middle of a mission right now. You're like I'm fighting for a lot of things right now
And I'm like, you know, it's crazy about Starbucks
I'm like is it faster if you do the line in person or if you do it on the app?
Wait, that's something we discovered in our travels.
Guys, if you don't have the Starbucks app, literally download it and then you mobile
order when you're at the airport and then those orders go in way faster.
Done people in line.
It just, it also makes you feel important.
Yeah. Like, when I walk up to Starbucks and I'm already hearing page.
Yes, I'm late for business evening.
You feel like you're at the club and you're V.I.D.
It's a guy in the room right in front of the line.
You look at all these people and you're like, oh, someone wasn't prepared today.
So anyway, women in stem and feminism.
Birth control literally stem and as them.
Birth control has helped women be able to live their lives.
My grandma, not my nan at the other side,
my grandma got married at 17.
No, it's crazy.
Because that's just what you did.
My grandma literally had four kids before, like, 24.
Wow.
Like, my mom was considered old having me at 30.
Yeah.
My mom had me at 27. Yeah, I also think that it's funny
Like women in the past were equally as smart as us. They just like no one let them but then people joke like I
Think it was an alley-wong joke that she's mad that like we
Showed the men that were really smart and capable. She's like they were so smart
They just played dumb.
All they could do is stay home and watch TV.
But being a full-time mom is a fucking exhaust.
No, I actually don't think I have a lot of appreciation
because I hate kids.
I hate them.
I really do.
There's maybe like two babies that I fuck with that I know.
Others that don't hold themselves accountable
when they like ruin other people's days.
Yeah, I'm like, you're someone like,
like self-taxable.
But like full-time moms, I genuinely don't know how they do it.
I think that is a way harder job than,
well some people I think are meant to do it.
Like they're so fucking good at it
and they are meant to be moms
and it's beautiful and it's incredible
and they're so on their shit.
Or if you have help too.
I saw a meme the other day that was like your wife isn't your mom.
Like you can also do the laundry.
Oh my god.
Someone called it soft parenting.
Like do you have a boyfriend or are you soft parenting him to like be the best?
It's so funny because I was at Craig's house a couple weeks ago.
No, first time ever on Gagley's Garden, I'm actually about to compliment the fuck out of him.
Oh my God!
He was cooking dinner and I am like very OCD sometimes when it comes to cleaning.
Like I like things to be organized the way I like it in my brain.
Like I have to visually see it the way I started my brain.
And if it's not like that, I kind of like freak out a little.
It makes sense to me.
So he was like cooking dinner one night, like grilling.
And I was like, I would be so fine for the rest of our lives.
If you cooked every single meal, and I cleaned everything in the kitchen.
And he was like, don't deal. That's the easiest deal we've ever made.
Like a successful relationship.
Yeah, I would be so fine with never making a dinner
in my entire life,
but I will clean up after every single one.
That's like, as someone who's married,
the girlies, you're thinking of all these stupid things,
marriage is literally this team life.
And people get divorced because it's like,
he wasn't doing shit. Or like, I didn't feel this team life and people get divorced because it's like he wasn't doing shit
Yeah, or like I didn't feel appreciated that kind of thing. Wait this TikTok was so funny
I'm pulling up the New York Times this week said. It's a girl named Bella. Is her account Bella?
It's just Bella. I want to give her credit. Tree hugger 0-8-4
It has two million likes. She wrote celebrating celebrating, because no matter how hard life gets,
at least I'm not soft parenting a man child by teaching him basic human decency and calling it a
relationship. But I do think a lot of guys go from their mom to just like the next girl. Yeah.
And we're of this generation where we're like, we're not your mom. Not until like knock the people
in their early 20s. Like obviously you have to, at some point in your life,
everyone does, you have roommates.
I think you really can't date a man until he has lived
by himself like for a full year.
Yeah, I never had a serious relationship with a guy
who had roommates.
I mean, I've never had a serious relationship
with a guy who's had roommates.
I mean like fun day. Like I never considered marrying them.
Right.
Like I dated them, but I was never like this marriage between two.
Because men having roommates like in their early 20s after college is still college.
It's very different from women having roommates in their 20s.
That's just women supporting women.
That's what I was born on the arts.
Also with the wage gap. How do you not
afford your own apartment? It's because they just like to have like a buddy there to be like okay
we should crack beers and able each other yeah. Yeah. Where women are like let's go to a workout class
together and let's do this together and let's cleaning day. Let's like keep each other accountable. Yeah
like let's do laundry day. I'm like is it better if I put this girl over and you say,
no, I'm not gonna touch your back.
I'm not gonna touch your back.
Yeah, I used to date this one guy.
Honestly, he was great.
I actually am not even knocking him.
Yeah.
But like, waking up at his apartment, like,
on a Saturday morning after a night out was just traumatizing.
Traumatizing because every man that lived in that
apartment like you'd walk out the door and every man would be sitting on the
couch with a game controller in their hand like which a page like okay I'm
just gonna scoot out of here no makeup remover anywhere no not a makeup
remover in sight their bathroom was by all once these guys had like tons of
shampoo bottles that are just empty I'm like, are we not throwing them away?
Is this like the skeletons of like every girl you guys dated in the past?
I'm so dated a guy and he had monogram towels and I thought it was like so lux and I was like
Like why did you have these towels?
His mom's trying so hard she calls you. She's like, can you take this and I'm like, no?
He's not gonna be my problem. I lived with two guys for like a long time
Oh my god, I feel like you don't talk about that enough. I don't really were
New girl. I was new girl, but like I was the messy one. Yeah, Dave met Haley my friend and they started dating
Corey was like full fuck boy fun fuck boy
Yeah, the best time anytime So fun. So fun.
And they were doing like financially better than me.
Like they were both in finance and they were,
I was kind of like surviving.
Yeah, like figuring out what you're doing.
Exactly.
But I remember Cory would bring a girl home.
And he obviously went tell me he's not like keeping me
posted all the time.
So I'd wake up in the morning and they would have left
that work.
The girl would come out and see me and then I realized,
I could fuck with these people so bad.
Like I could be like, were you with my husband last night?
Wait, no one pregnant.
No one bonds like two random girls that are coming
out of two different bedrooms.
No, these girls would come out and see me and panic,
like beyond and I would like let them sit in it for like a second
I'd be like I'm the roommate. Okay, I'm curious funny, right? And she blav
But I would fuck with them like if you guys do this I'm gonna walk in our next hookup and pretend I'm your ex
Yeah, and like cause a scene you could legitimately have filmed
Like if that was happening right now you would have
Like if that was happening right now, you would have eight million followers on TikTok
of just fucking with them, all the dots.
But the girls loved that I was there
because they would wake up and they'd be like,
shoot, do you have a hair curler for work?
And I'd be like, girl, yes.
And I'd give my hair curler so much more comfortable
knowing there was another woman just in the vicinity.
I was looking for the guys.
It was good to have a girl roommate
because like, give them go to therapy.
So like, they would get like drunk
and we'd be like, right, before we go to sleep.
And I, you know what girls like to do?
We have a deep talk.
So I'd be like, guys, let's discuss what happened tonight.
Courage you of anything to say for yourself.
And then I'd see you know, we'd be talking about like life.
And like, I feel like I helped them grow up.
Grow up a little.
For sure.
And they helped me, like, no not they didn't really help me.
I know it's just you think like how me like if I could go through all my ex-boyfriends
and pick out one thing they taught me. No you look like maybe significantly worse of a
human. Well that's my thing with relationships. The second a guy makes me feel like my mental
health is deteriorating or he's making my life more difficult.
Why are you with him? Yeah. Like I also, some people are good to caretakers and they enjoy it.
I'm an emotional caretaker. Like I'm there for you if anything is upsetting you. Yeah. But like
if your room's a mess, that sounds like a you problem. And I caretaker in any capacity. I think you're
well we both have Italian moms
who are like professionals at it,
but we're like rebelling against that
and trying to like break the cycle.
I feel like I'm trying to think,
like, do I do anything for Craig?
I feel like you're like me, you're emotionally supportive.
Honestly, I had an ex-boyfriend one time
that lives by himself and he obviously worked like a intense,
he worked in finance, whatever.
So yes, he was gone out of the apartment.
I was like fucking on Excel spreadsheet.
Yeah, like 7.30 AM, like he's out of there.
So I would wake up at like nine a.m.
I would take my time, like get out of bed,
watch my favorite, I was a little little
literal stay-at-home girlfriend.
I was like literally a stay-at-home girlfriend.
And I would leave his apartment.
And some days, yeah, I would make the bed
if I was failing it.
And other days, maybe I was in a rush
and I wouldn't make the bed.
And I remember I got to his apartment one time
and he said to me, like, look,
if you're gonna be staying here all the time,
like maybe you can do some stuff too,
like you didn't even make the bed this morning.
And in that moment, I was like,
first of all, one, you have a cleaning lady,
two, like, I don't work for you.
And three, I didn't give birth to you.
Like, also, it's like, I gave you my pussy last night.
Like, imagine, and I've had multiple men
stay over at my apartment before.
You would never have a guy like that.
Imagine, I said, mm, you didn't make my bed. But you know if they made the bed, you're like, it's wrong, he's incredible. Like, if a guy that. Imagine I said, you didn't make my bed.
But you know if they made the bed you're like,
it's wrong, he's incredible.
Like if a guy makes it right.
Actually, I've always hated any time a guy has made
or attempted to make my bed,
because I'm like, who taught you how to make a fucking bed?
Have you ever seen a bed before you get into it?
In what world is this pillow on the top?
That's a sleeping pillow.
That's a decorative pillow.
This one's a decorative pillow.
This goes over here.
Like, are you brain dead? My mom loves decorative pillows. I love decorative pillows.
That's so interesting. I also think women who didn't want to be stay at home moms, you
know how they all were like black out, like drinking. Yeah. And it's like, because sometimes
they had dreams. Like they had legit dreams of stuff they wanted to do.
And then they ended up in a family,
because either, because they got pregnant
or because that's what they were convinced society wanted
from them, that's what their family wanted,
that's what they thought they wanted.
As I get older, I used to have this fear in my late 20s
that I was gonna settle down too quickly
and that I was gonna wake up at 35
and regret not partying more.
I'm never crossed my mind.
I've broken up with multiple boyfriends
because I've been like,
I feel like I'm gonna regret not partying more.
But what define partying?
Like what do you mean partying?
Like going out on a meeting people?
No, like going out.
Yeah, like going out on a Friday night
with my girlfriends and like making memories
and laughing so hard
and like dancing and getting dressed up
and just enjoying having zero responsibilities
that I know all day Saturday I can stay in bed
because I'm hungover, like living that type of lifestyle.
I needed that perspective, like I was so the other extreme.
Because when I was in a tennis academy,
when I was like 13, I remember a coach said to me,
they were like, this kid was really talented,
but he started partying too much.
And I was young and in my head, I was like,
how many birthday parties is he getting invited to?
Oh!
Wait, that's so fucking cute.
How many friends are birthday parties?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Wait, that's just like lip things How many friends are birthday parties? Like I haven't accomplished
any of my dreams. I can't. But I'm the other extreme. Like I'm not saying what I did
is right. My I needed to have more of a balance. And I actually would have probably been more
successful with tennis if I wasn't like so extreme with myself. But now I my fear is, oh
my god, I can't have a baby.
What if I have a baby too soon
and I wake up in that baby's five years old
and I'm like, I could have had a way bigger career.
I could have gone and done this and this,
but I had to have this baby.
What's fucked up is the same amount of time it takes
like took us to get some momentum in our careers
is now the same time that women are supposed to be having babies.
Yeah.
And people don't talk about that enough.
Like it took me 10 years to get my stand-up career to where it is.
Yeah.
And like every decision I made was leading me to this point.
And now they're like, oh pop out of baby.
No, it's...
It's so crazy.
And the men don't have to deal with it.
I feel like I get this question all the time.
When are you going to marry Craig?
When are you going to move to Charleston? When are you gonna move to Charleston?
When are you guys gonna have kids?
Not one, if the roles were reversed
and Craig was a 30 year old man,
and he got asked that question once,
he would never get asked that question again.
Because if his response was,
I just wanna focus on my career for right now,
and then get married and have a family in a couple of years.
Everyone would be like,
ah, he's has a good head on his shoulders.
You have so much time, don't worry about it.
But when I say it, people get so upset with me.
They say, then you don't love your boyfriend.
You are so fucking right.
I didn't think of it that way.
If you ask a 30-year-old man, does he want to get married he goes I want to focus on my career first because you know marriage is a whole thing
Oh my god because get a wedding that's insane. Also, he's not even planning the wedding. He wouldn't have even planned it
That's the other thing. I
Feel like getting engaged and having a baby
Nothing in my boyfriend's life right now would change if we got engaged and had a baby and got married
Not a single thing would change. If we got engaged in how to baby and got married, not a single
thing would change for him. My whole life would be flipped upside down.
You are so fucking right and I actually respect you so much for having that boundary because
people are putting pressure on you. Like you know that like everyone would be so excited
if you announce that you're engaged. People would be excited for three seconds and then
you're left with your decision.
Right.
They got to share a post and say yay,
and then they're onto their own life.
Because if I agreed to get engaged and get married
and then continue living the way I'm living right now,
I would be wrong to not put my partner like that first,
then it would turn into I am myself.
Betrayed yourself.
Betrayed yourself. I actually, betraying yourself is a really, it's a and I'm not yourself. Yeah, I betrayed yourself.
I actually betraying yourself is a really,
it's a thing I learned in therapy.
Yeah.
Where it basically means like you don't listen to like
the person inside you with the little girl wants inside you
and you betray who you are to appease people around you
and then you become a shell of yourself.
And is that like,
we've all done it.
Is that like people pleasing?
Yes, but it's even more like, it's even less about making other people happy.
It's like you lying to yourself for whatever reason.
Yeah, oh my god.
I feel like I've betrayed myself so many times.
That's what your 20s are though.
It's just constantly betraying yourself until one day you wake up and you're like, can we
stop?
Yeah.
I betrayed myself with tennis.
I stayed in it like for so, because it was good at it.
I feel like women legit stop betraying themselves
when they turn 30 because society puts such a huge thing
on us for turning 30.
And that's when we're like, you know what?
If you don't want us, I don't want you.
Yeah, I'm not fucking doing what you want me to anymore.
Like, I don't care.
For sure.
And that's why you should get off your birth control
I'm just fucking with you guys, but for real talk to a doctor and
Birth control is really important, but there's so many different ways to use contraceptives besides just the pill
There are no hormonal options
Also, you know, it's interesting too like I was thinking about my mom. Mm-hmm. So she was the first woman in our family to go to college.
She went to an Ivy League school.
She worked her fucking ass off.
And then she got married at 24, pregnant at 27.
And she always wanted to be a jazz musician, like a jazz singer.
But she immediately wanted to make money, have a family.
They just wasn't the thing you did. And and then she ended up having like a great career in education was a principle of schools like crushed it and now that she's retired
she's like I
Want to be a jazz musician. Yeah, so she's singing jazz again like in long time
Just so cool, but she also said to me. She's like hand it back in the day if we had like youtuber TikTok
Yeah, I would have been using it.
But back then, she's like,
what was like gonna just like,
wait around for someone to discover me,
like, singing at a restaurant for years?
Like, it was so different back then.
There was no like Taylor Swift,
Justin Bieber type stories.
Think about how many people were probably so talented
in such good, like, singers and actors
that just never got discovered.
There were only like four famous people a year back in the day.
Even 10 years ago.
True.
There was, like, there's so many famous people now.
Everyone's famous.
Everyone, everyone has an opportunity to be famous.
Someone called us a celebrity last night I laughed.
Yeah, I was celebrity.
I don't think of us as celebrities.
I just think of us as louder than certain other people.
Like I'm not famous. I just think louder than we're not famous. I just post a ton online so you have
to see me. We're just attention. We're just attention. We're on your algorithm. And you're like we
get it. But it's it's crazy. Like sometimes do you ever think you're born in the wrong time or you're born in the exact right time?
I go back and forth. I think that I totally could have lived in the 50s
I do I think that if I lived in the 50s in the 60s
I would have become a flight attendant. I already know that I
Loved my high school boyfriend. So I always think like if I had had to marry
my high school boyfriend and have children with him,
I that would have been fine.
Those good boyfriends, like I'd like to know a stat
of like how many high school boyfriends actually work out.
It probably is pretty decent.
Yeah, like there are some people that are like high school.
I mean, my parents are a kind of high school sweetheart
because they met when they were 17.
In small towns, it's like you've met your town.
Who do you want?
Yeah, I feel like that was like the number one reason why I moved.
I was like, I feel like I've met everyone, I've dated everyone, I have to move to the city.
It's not working here.
I mean, we will probably, we should bring someone on to talk about our past lives, to tell
the gigglers, like what our past lives were.
No, wait, can we actually do that?
I really want to.
Okay, if anyone has a good
psychic or something- For past life, for God's sake. Yeah, just past lives. So I want to know
our relationships and past lives. Okay, no, we knew each other and past lives. For sure. I wonder if
in any of our past lives, we were in the same family. Like, was there ever a life where you were my mom?
family. Like was there ever a life where you were my mom or like we were sisters or we could have been men or trees. Someone was telling me to pass life
regression that I was one of the Amazon women and I was like absolutely. I had
someone tell me I was a nun and I said I see that. Yeah, no, I actually do see that.
I do see that. But you're like nodding nodding nodding.
You don't really, I'm smoking weed.
Where I was like, are we sure we can't have sex?
What if we just try that?
Also, I feel like I was in the 70s or the 60s.
I would have been like one of those crazy, like not crazy,
but like one of those women fighting like that are like but like one of those women fighting. Better like take your breath.
Yeah.
And like protesting.
Yeah, just like fighting for like women's rights
or like any of that.
I do feel like in one past life I was royal.
I think I was in so much capacity.
Or you were the royal cat.
You were the court jester and we just like fucked around
with each other. I was the court jester and you just like fucked around with each other.
I was the court jester and you were the cat.
We were just hung out and talked shit about everyone but you were like really pretty.
And everyone like loved you but you hated everyone.
You were like don't touch me.
I feel like I definitely was royal in a past life because for whatever reason when Marie
Antoinette that movie came out with Kirsten Dunns, I was little.
And I had such emotional connection where I was like was I Marie Antoinette, that movie came out with Kirsten Dunes. I was little and I had such emotional connection
where I was like, was I wearing Antoinette?
See, I can tell you for sure
that I was not royal in a past life.
I also love period pieces.
Like any show or movie that is set,
like a Bridgerton type, like I love it.
Do you ever hear those stories where someone's kid
who's like two years old will have like a memory?
Yep.
Or they'll say like, Mom, I saw this person like in the war.
I had a kid just pop up on my Instagram or on my TikTok
and it was he died in 9-11.
And he like can recount, can recount like all of these crazy things in 9-11. And he recount, can recount all of these crazy things
from 9-11, the kid was like four.
People have said something like a kid was talking
about the civil war and how he died, and he's like three.
Yeah, I totally believe in that.
That's crazy.
Also, how they say babies can see things that aren't there.
Yeah, I remember when my cousin Fallon was born,
my grandpa had just died.
And she would say to her mom,
like, oh, yeah, he can't, like I saw him last night.
Like she would say crazy things.
But like she didn't really meet him.
Like she met him, like she was a baby.
That's, so she wouldn't have like remembered meeting him.
That's crazy.
What did you read about the baby who was talking
to someone else over the, like,
no, I saw this crazy news story that this mom had like baby
monitors in each of her kids' rooms.
And someone hacked into the baby monitor
and was talking to the child and was saying,
pretending to be the mom and dad, but the mom and dad have no idea what this person was saying.
They just went to put the kids to sleep and said plug in the baby monitor and the kid started
hysterically crying and was like, no, like someone talks to me, like, I don't want,
like, please don't plug it in, please don't plug it in. And then they went on like the app.
And it said like that their password had been compromised,
like in like a leak and whatever.
And so they...
That is so scary.
Cause speaking to your babies, like, so important and everything
you say, they're like processing.
So if I had a stranger, also, if I was that good at hacking,
why are you gonna do that?
No, literally.
I need to a bank.
I like take a million dollars.
Don't talk to a baby.
That is literally the last thing I'd want to do.
It's like, you burst with a baby at 11 p.m.
No.
Oh my God.
That's so anyway, check your baby monitors.
If you did not take your birth control, you had a baby, and I even baby monitor them.
Yeah, and they're saying, like,
to get baby monitors that don't connect to the Wi-Fi.
Wow.
Is this so scary?
This is stuff like we don't want to have to be worried about.
Also, just thinking about raising a child
in this day and age, does legit scare me?
And I used to think that was something people just like said,
like, oh, I'm scared to have a baby,
like, but I genuinely feel that.
Like, I feel like there's so many things that I still don't comprehend that I'm like, how am I
going to teach my child if like, I don't know?
I feel like speaking from someone with no experience that sometimes having a baby like helps you
realize things like Kylie Jenner. Yeah. Like, you start to understand your purpose more.
Yeah. I've been relying understand your purpose more. Yeah.
I've been relying to myself,
but like you become a better person too.
Because like,
I also feel like it's,
I'm not saying it's narcissistic to not have children.
Actually, I think it's narcissistic to have children.
Which is the world need.
More me.
I need to spread my legs out.
More, it needs more me.
At some point, I don't want my life to be all about me.
I'm sick of me, honestly.
So I get you get to a certain point in your life
and you're like, let's have a kid and see how he figures it out.
Let's see if he can make it.
Yeah, and you find, I don't think our life
is meant to just be about us.
If your life is just about you, you drive yourself insane.
And that's why you have a career, you have children, you have friends,
so you don't have to fucking deal with your own mind 24, seven.
Also, I can't wait for that first moment.
Also, isn't it funny to think like you have a baby and you actually don't
talk to that kid and told three.
Like it just lives in your house and then at three years old,
it just starts responding, communicating.
It just starts to say no.
I can't wait for the first moment that your baby does something
and you're like, that's so me.
Like that is something I do.
But I feel like even at a young age,
they'll show like tendencies that you might have had.
It's like an infant.
Like how they eat.
And it's crazy how the like kids pick up on every energy.
One thing I learned in therapy was like generational. How they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you know how they do you insecurity that your mom has, if you're a woman, if your mom has that as a woman, they
automatically kind of pass it to you.
Wow.
And like if you ask your mom, I feel like me and my mom do have the same insecurities, the
same anxieties.
Yeah.
I know that my mom was like pretty aware of some of her anxieties where she like purposely
would try like not excited, but she knew like growing up as a woman and like body
image and stuff like that she purposely like never commented on my body and like yeah she purposely
never like restricted food or anything like let me eat anything I wanted yeah and that was helpful
for me like I know I thought I think I talked about this before but other kids like weren't allowed to
eat candy yeah some of the like come to my house, they would eat all the candy.
And it was crazy where when I'd go to someone else's house
with candy, I'd be like, it's fucking candy.
Yeah, I see it every day, I don't want it.
See, I feel like my mom wasn't told as a child
that she was really pretty.
Like, she had a younger sister who was really pretty,
and I think they would tell her,
like, oh, you're really pretty,
but you wear blue and show wear pink.
Uh-huh.
And so I think growing up, like, my mom you're really pretty, but you wear blue and show wear pink. Uh-huh.
And so I think growing up, like my mom was always telling me,
like, you are perfect, you're gorgeous,
you're so pretty, like, because I feel like nobody told her
and she had like an Instagram, like, am I pretty?
Well, that's, that's like my dad,
where his dad was a basketball coach
who, like, loved all his kids that he coach,
and my dad always wanted to be good enough for his dad.
So then when he had me, he was like,
you're an amazing athlete, and I believe in you,
and give you all the attention, and stuff like that.
So sometimes they will overcompensate.
Yeah.
So in what ways, now that I'm saying,
my mom telling me I was pretty my whole life as a fuck up,
because I loved it.
But in what ways are we gonna take things from our childhood, twist it to do to our kids, and how are we gonna fuck up, like, because I loved it. But like, in what ways are we gonna take things
from our childhood, twist it to do to our kids?
And like, how are we gonna fuck up our kids?
The fact is we're going to fuck up our kids.
It's just like, how?
It's like a whole way.
Do you think one day our children
will have a podcast and we'll talk about,
like, how fucked up we were at the moment?
Do you think one day our children will listen
to Giggly Squad?
What if we had a son and a daughter at the same time
and they, we made them get married we arranged their marriage we put them in a
We were like we need
We need the burner and disorbow family to combine in some capacity and we've picked you guys as tribute
That was very royal to you. Yeah, Cornation. We'll have a literal coronation
Okay, I and I love things that are royal.
Like when Kate and Harry, or when Kate and William got married,
me and my mom woke up at like 5am, we had croissants, we watched their wedding.
Like I just thought it was the coolest thing ever.
I don't know anything.
So not that I'm like as invested, obviously in,
I don't even know what is the king's name, King Charles
and Camilla.
But like I did want to see like what people were wearing to the coronation.
Where was everyone who is there, blah blah blah, and I brought it up and Hannah goes
coronation.
I thought that's when they take a dead body out of the ground.
I was like, that's a corner.
Okay, then they just deal with the dead body.
Very similar words.
Very similar words, and honestly.
Very different meaning.
Very different meaning.
Everyone's saying that it's kind of iconic though for the side check to be queen.
To finally have her die.
Is she queen now?
I don't know how that all works because like he is the bloodline.
Yeah. So he is the king. But he's married to her. But if he died, I don't think she would
stay the queen. I don't in terms of like duties. I don't think it would go to her. I think that
I was thinking about duties. Then like William would automatically become the king.
Did you see they were trying to pick out like weird looking people in the crowd
and saying it was Meghan Markle.
This guy's dude.
There's a guy with like a mustache and a weird hat.
They're like, this is like a Markle.
Like in the 70s, like fans are convinced Meghan Markle
snuck into the corner.
So she like really has beef with the world family.
Meghan Markle?
I mean, I've been around in the past five years.
Like I think they're
beefing pretty fucking hard. Pretty pretty hard. They were saying also that William and Kate's daughter
Charlotte is Princess Diana. Like the side eye that she gives her facial expression. She looks like her.
The brunette? Yeah, the little girl. Well, there's saying her and the sun have the funniest
expression.
They say they're like the, the son of daughter and shits
Creek.
Yeah.
And they're like, look at all these poor people.
They're like on the balcony looking down, like, look at all
these normal people just looking at us, these unroyal,
just scum of girls.
Literally the most nubbo babies of nubbo babies.
Oh my god.
Honestly. Oh god, but yeah, I'm excited for that.
What else to go on in front of Virginia?
We just won on a full 50 minute tangent.
Everyone's going nuts over Sophia Richie.
I always was a big fan of her sister, obviously.
Mm-hmm.
What's her name?
Nicole.
Nicole.
Um, because I think she's hilarious and funny.
And then Sophia Richie obviously dated Scott,
but she was pretty on the low about it.
Like, I feel like she probably thought it was fun and funny until it wasn't.
But she was trying to get famous from him. Like everyone has that one. Okay, wow. I
watch this. Oh, my conspiracy tech talks. I don't know if this is a conspiracy or pretty
true, but they were saying that so for your Richie, obviously, has a very famous sister, very famous dad and
Lionel Richie wanted to be in that like it girl crowd wanted to be kind of famous, but
she did she wasn't going to do it on her own like it wasn't going to be from something
from her talent.
So her dad kind of said to her, look, will have you marry someone famous?
Like you'll stay famous,
but it'll be by like who you're dating.
This can be like, I mean, this is probably
all just like speculation and whatever.
But it kind of makes sense because
she didn't really become that famous
and people know who she was until she was dating.
Oh, it's got.
But it's interesting,
because isn't she the age of Kylie and Yally?
Like why isn't she friends with them if she wants to be?
Well, she was kind of, but people still just didn't.
Fuck with her.
Like care about her.
She got a lot of plastic surgery.
Yeah, she definitely has some plastic surgery.
But it's what's crazy is so she starts posting the wedding
and everyone starts freaking out.
They've never loved anything more.
I saw like three photos and I'm like,
this is beautiful, but people were like,
people have jumping on things.
And you loved it, you were in show.
I loved it.
You loved it.
I was like, it's nice.
Yeah.
And people are like, she's old money, she's old money.
And I just thought it was like kind of hypocritical
because like, she's old money,
but you call the other women, NEPO babies.
And I'm like, she's a NEPO baby. She's a NEPO baby. Why are you calling your old money like she's old money, but you call the other women, NEPO babies, and I'm like, she's a NEPO baby.
Why are you calling your old money?
He's old money.
They're rich.
But he's a famous man.
He's a NEPO baby too, I think.
Is he?
He's one of the most famous singers
of the 80s, Lana Richie.
Oh, I was never talking about her new husband.
Oh, yeah.
Lionel Richie.
He's famous as far.
Yeah.
It's just funny.
When convenient, they call it old money when they like the person.
But if they don't like you, they call you NEPO baby.
Honey, that's just good PR.
True.
That is just good.
That is just having.
That is just having a good team around you.
Anyone can twist anything in the media.
When it's Pouch show is kind of owning
being a NEPO baby recently, because you are her parents are famous actors. Honestly, most people are NEPO babies in the media. When the pal show was kind of owning being a nipple baby recently, because yeah, her parents
are famous actors.
Honestly, most people are nipple babies in the sendestrikes, except for me and you.
I have nothing against nipple babies because I will fucking have one.
Yeah, we're trying to work hard enough so people can bully our daughters for the nipple babies.
I want her to come to me one day and be like, I want things to make.
I have this because of you.
And you know what I'm going to say?
You do, bitch.
It's so funny how you're planning a wedding,
like just very, you know, recklessly.
Yeah.
Seeing like how strategic people are with their weddings
in terms of like the guest list.
You know she invited, they invite people just because
of society.
Yeah.
Isn't that wild?
Like people that you have to invite to. They're just of society. Yeah. Isn't that wild? Like people that you have to invite to.
Let me just highlight society.
Yeah.
And it's just part of like, they had a whole list
of like all these random, famous people
that were at the event.
Like, you know that she's talking to her dad or dad.
It's like, you have to invite that family.
Yeah.
We've been on their yacht seven times.
Right.
Yeah.
Like, we don't have it.
Like, my dad, that would be.
Ha ha ha ha. Wait, I think he- Look, he bought a Sunday dinner like three times. Yeah, like we like we don't have like my dad
Wait, I think he bought a Sunday dinner like three times we have no money He fixes the roof every time I call he's always answering the phone
I got a lot of plumbing issues and he's always here to fix it. We got to win by that
Look, you know, we play golf with grandpa sometimes. I mean, and you know, I've known then grandpa would cheat and yeah
No, that would be our version of like,
you have to invite this family.
Like,
I'm so happy.
Come on, they helped you brother out of a speeding ticket.
We gotta invite them.
Oh, literally.
I also, you know, she like didn't meet some of these people
before, I don't know, I just feel like it's very,
it was political.
It's very political when you're like,
she's like a royal, it's high society.
Yes.
Because there's a difference between being high society and being famous, but it does kind of cross over like famous people love high society, people and high society, people love famous people.
Yes. If I had the choice, I'd rather be a bazillionaire and nobody know who I am than be like Kim,
the be like Kim Kardashian be the most famous person in the world.
Honestly, that sounds very mentally healthy.
Would you rather do something you love and be broke
or be really rich but you can't do it.
Like you can never put together an outfit again,
but you have a million dollars.
Okay the only way I can relate to this is in dating because I have never been super rich but I've also never been super poor so I don't know what both extremes are like.
But the only way I can relate to it is when I have dated rich guys and my mom used to
say, if you marry for money, you will work for it your entire life.
Kim, you are so fucking iconic for this.
Iconic, you will work for your entire life.
Would you rather cry in a limo or love on a bike?
What would you rather do?
Cry in a little more.
So we're all speechless when straight over.
Cool, great quotes, but.
Can you?
No, I think it's true.
Can you extrapolate on if you marry for money,
you're gonna work for the rest of your life?
She used to say, if you're going to marry like
because you like his lifestyle and you like the things
that you can get, but you don't really like him,
you'll never actually enjoy anything that you're doing.
Like yeah, you'll be on that yacht in the South of France
but you won't have fun at any point
that you were on that yacht.
So what is the point of doing it?
And I know that like you'll see people on Instagram
and it looks so fun but it's like she hates him.
I have been on vacations that are so extravagant
and so lush and lovely,
and I've cried the whole time.
Like, I remember the first time I went on a vacation
with a boyfriend, and I, we fought the entire time,
and it was the first time I had ever had a problem
on a vacation, because I grew up in a family
that like a vacation was once in a while, it's fun. Like who's gonna fight on vacation?
And then you get with these rich people and you're like wait, we're fighting in the Bahamas
I always think of it like you know if you like love Oreos and you give someone gives you an Oreo
You're like this gonna taste so good and then you walk into a room full of like a thousand Oreos eventually like
I don't give a fuck about Oreo. Yeah, like I'm sick of it. Literally.
And obviously money, there's a certain amount
that you need to survive and be happy.
Right.
But like, there's definitely an excessive amount
where Biggie Smalls was fully right,
more money, more problems.
So more of the story is, I'm actually standing
during this part.
Most of the story is, you're preaching over me.
Don't have babies if you don't want babies.
Get off your bread control.
We're gonna be bread control. And don't. Don't marry men just because don't want babies. Get off your birth control. Get off your birth control.
And don't.
Don't marry men just because they're famous and rich.
And um, live everyday to the fullest.
Live laugh love.
Love, thanks for giving me this.
Bye!
you