Giggly Squad - Giggling about nicknames, quadzilla, and the zeitgeist

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Paige has a revelation and Hannah reveals her childhood nicknames.pre-order our book heresign up for our newsletterget tickets to hannah's shows Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Lose yourself in a listen and actually look forward to that workout you've been putting off or your chores. Cancel at any time and books bought with a credit card are yours to keep even if you cancel so listen now at audible.ca slash sunrise What's up my growly gigglers? Rawr. Look, I'm trying to get creative here. Did you blow your hair out today?

I did do a little Dyson. Wow, looks nice. Thank you, and I am wearing glasses today. No, you look really pretty today. They're fake glasses, oh my God, thank you. Wait, what are these white kitten heel pumps on your? Vintage Prada. Yeah.

No, I spotted them from my peripheral. There's so much crap in this room and Paige somehow saw the tiny kitten heel of the- Is that a vintage shoe? I think there's a vintage heel here. What is it? I'm so, that is so, it's literally under a pile of garbage and she's like, cute, wait, cute.

No, we were just so. I miss you so much. Wait, no, I miss you so much. We've been praying for a weekend free and then the whole time I just like watched TV and missed Paige. Literally Netflix was like, you've caught us. Like we're out of shit for you.

I watched everything that's ever been made this weekend. I finished it. Are you ever like binging? Like you're doing a full rot day. Like you've been there for eight hours and you're like, oh, I have nothing else to watch. Do you ever feel like, I can't watch old stuff. Like if it's not new, I'm like,

like I'll be hanging out with someone and they'll be like, let's like throw on what's your favorite movie? And I'm like, unless it's new, I'm not watching it. I do have to say, cause I have an older man, every now and then I like to experience his culture. And I say, what's a movie that like you loved from back in the day that I've never seen.

And that's a fun experience for us. Cause also, you know how we just like know actresses, but we never know their like breakout role from like the nineties or the two thousands. I watched Mulholland Drive last night. Have you ever, have you ever? Has it crossed your desk? I feel like I've heard of it.

I couldn't give you one fact about it. It's in the zeitgeist. So it's Naomi Watts breakout role. You just wanted to say zeitgeist cause you're wearing glasses. Yes.. It's in the zeitgeist. So it's Naomi Watts breakout role. You just wanted to say zeitgeist because you're wearing glasses. Yes. What is? Neither of us can spell zeitgeist.

What is a zeitgeist? I feel like it's like something that's really relevant. Like culturally relevant. Okay, what's like happening? Yes, yes, like zeitgeist. I feel like- Wait, we are the zeitgeists. We are zeitgeist, D.

That's our, we giggling is zeitgeist. We just start using it inappropriately. This movie, if you, oh my God, you should watch it. I like can't get comfortable. I'm like squirming like a little eel. I was dying laughing because the last episode, you, whenever I would talk, you were having a coughing attack.

And then you also lost something at one point and you were just, whenever I would talk, you were looking for it. And at one point I was like like what are you looking for? That was on zoom. That was on zoom. I was like nothing to see over here. So Mulholland Drive, it got famous for this like sex lesbian scene with Naomi Watts and the other actress who I forgot.

Okay. But it's like hot. Damn, a rough day to be that other actress. I'm so sorry. Imagine it's like your breakout role and you just hear some Gen Z girl go, sorry, I forgot her name. You know what?

Out of respect, Chris, because I know you're regularly Googling the lesbian scene, you creep. Can you... He's playing it right now. What's the name of the other actress? Sorry, what was the movie name? Put your boner away. What was the name?

Can you do your job for a second? What's the name of the actress? Movie name again, one more time? Moholland Drive. No, we can't spell Moholland. So look, I love movies that trick me. Like I want to be tricked. Yeah, I love a twist We're like I really wasn't expecting that this movie is

Such an amazing trick that you will watch the whole movie and it finishes and you're still like That might have been the worst movie I ever watched and then you Google it and you go I was completely tricked. That was the best movie I've ever watched I was completely tricked. That was the best movie I've ever watched. And I was sober. Sorry for my long pause. I'm trying to think of how to even word this. So unless you Google it afterward

to find out the actual meaning, you're gonna think it's the worst movie ever? Yeah. Okay. And some would argue maybe that's a bad movie if you don't get it, but no one gets it. But then once you realize, it's very artistic. Is the ending kind of like a soprano's ending

where people were pissed? No, the ending's incredible, but the ending makes you realize, oh, what I was thinking the whole time wasn't true, and now I have to rethink everything I thought about this movie. But there's points. This is how I wake up in the morning. Just like, oh, everything I thought about this movie. But there's points. That's just how I wake up in the morning. You know, just like, oh, everything I thought was actually a lie.

So let me rework it. We found out bananas are actually berries on the burner phone pod this week. I think you guys should listen. It was a very fun episode. What? Yeah, so that's, my world's been crushed. I have to rethink everything. Do we have the name

of the actress yet? Yeah, the star is a no-ad. Naomi Watson, Laura Haring. Laura Haring. Shout out Laura. Laura, we hope you're doing well. She crushed it. What did you? Shout out to my least favorite ex-boyfriend. Usually we shout out my favorite one, but my least favorite one. He actually, like in my mid-20s, showed me so many movie, like classic movies that I had never seen that like, I do feel better than people when I'm like, oh my God, you haven't seen that, it's a classic. See, I've never seen a movie before. Like I'm just.

Like everything does says, I'm like, no, but he's like, oh you fucking kidding me? And then we sit down and it's fun. No, this guy had a zeitgeist, if you will, of just classic movies. So he really upped my movie game. I do have an uncle who's obsessed with James Bond. So I've seen a lot of the James Bond movies,

but I wouldn't say that really brings any value to the community. Wait, speaking of actresses, did you see Scarlett Johansson this past week say like why she doesn't take pictures with fans? Oh yeah, she was like, I'm not working. No, she said, she gave a very Gwyneth Paltrow answer.

Like, I feel like people aren't like laughing at it as much as like it should be laughed at. Like when Gwyneth Paltrow said like consciously uncoupling, like she said that she doesn't take pictures with fans out in the wild because, wait, let me get the exact quote because it's so good. Since we are accomplished journalists, we're gonna get the quote right.

Okay, so she said she doesn't take pictures with fans because she doesn't wanna be identified in this time or place with that person. But that's so funny, but part of me is like, okay, spy, like who are you, who are you hugging from? Like okay, part of me is like, what a crazy way to think of it. Like that's such a like alien way to think of like, yeah,

I don't want to be involved in this time or place with you. But also like I get what she's saying where she's like, I want to, I want to be be like I want to like live my life and not People I know where I am all the time. Yeah, not know like where I am what I'm doing who I'm with Like I get that but then some celebs live their lives where they want everyone to know at all times what they're doing who they're with Yeah for me. I Wouldn't have the balls

to say that to anyone, let alone, I would assume that her fan base is, well, actually she's been in so many movies that she probably does have a lot of men fan base. The Marvel movies ruined it for her probably. A girl coming up to me, imagine just being like, I don't want to be identified in this time or place with you. A girl will come up to me at the airport,

take a photo and I look at her and I say, I'm so sorry for that photo. Like sometimes I really see them disappointed how bad I look in the photo. They're like, I can't use this fucking photo, Hannah. Absolutely. I do have to- No, a giggler could come up and be like,

I need a kidney and I'd be like, point to the nearest hospital, where are we going? If you think about it, like, you don't see that many selfies with like, Kardashians. A-list celebrities. You don't see, you don't see. Where are all the selfies? When was the last time you saw Kim Kardashian

do a selfie with someone? I think it's just they're like so protected. And maybe if, maybe on like press days they do, but like wherever they travel, they don't have to see anyone. Like if I walked into a coffee shop in New York City right now and I saw Jennifer Lawrence standing there, the last thing I'm doing is asking her for a selfie

because I respect her. Well, there are just some types of people who don't think like, oh, this is a human person who may, if everyone asked her to get a selfie every time they wanted, that she couldn't live her life. But some people see a celeb and think they're the first person to ever see that celeb. And are like, oh my God.

But also on the other hand, does it really hurt to just turn your head and be like, and smile? No, you know? I guess some people pick their boundaries differently. I do have to think like when you're a certain level of celeb, if you start with one photo, then it becomes a full meet and greet at the coffee shop. Cause then people are like, oh, you took a photo with them,

why not me? And next thing you know, you're like, how do you get out kind of thing. And then it got me thinking about celebrity. Sorry, I watch a lot of celebrity documentaries. Niall Horan. Yeah. Did you hear when he was on One Direction

that he had a point where he got so big he couldn't go anywhere? Yeah. But looking back at it, he's like, I also dealt with some paranoia that I thought that I would get swarmed anywhere I went. And he's like, looking back, I might've not been swarmed, but I was so scared of the possibility of getting swarmed anywhere I went. And he's like, looking back, I might have not been swarmed, but I was so scared of the possibility of getting swarmed

that I started hearing things. And I couldn't leave my house. Stop. And that's what happened to Justin Bieber. No way. Oh, well, I just added that at the end. I don't know if that's true. But fame definitely hasn't helped.

No, no. And go full circle, Mulholland Drive is about Los Angeles and fame. It really is. It really is. I saw TikTok and the girl was like, she was quoting something and she was like,

why has the standard for a wife stayed the same, yet the standard for a husband has gone down. And she was like, think about it, years ago, she was like, my grandpa built my grandmother's house. Okay, she stayed in it and made the house a home and fed the kids and stuff, but he physically built the fucking house. Now, any man, he's like, cool, I'll call a task, grab it.

But women, we have to also like do all the home stuff, but then also do like the work stuff. And I would argue, I want a man who is capable of being a present father. Yeah. And by that, I mean like bring the baby to my nipple. Yeah. I don't want to get up.

Like someone who's waking up, or someone who's very involved in the parenting. I almost would rather, I mean, not that I should have to pick, but like I want a man who's more involved in like the cooking and the cleaning. I do have to say. Really, I just want a housekeeper.

They're like. I just realized I want an assistant. Some of these girls who have done it right, they marry chefs. The one thing though is chefs are like, a lot of the time, crazy people. Cause their job is just like, being in hot places yelling at people,

snorting cocaine, tattoos, like chefs are crazy. And then sometimes they go home and they're like, I'm not gonna cook you a meal. It's like me coming home and having to do a standup set for Des, I'm like, you have to pay money for that. Like, I don't do it for free. I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches. Iup set for Des, I'm like, you have to pay money for that. I don't do it for free. I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches. I do have to say, I've dated guys in the past

who have cooked and it's been so hot and so fun. I've never dated a man that like legit cooks. The energy they put into barbecuing, put it into everything. Put it into sandwiches, put it into pasta, put it into steak, get them really into making steak. You have to trick them to be like, oh my God, I love that salmon you made.

And then they get passionate about it and then it gets part of their ego and then they're obsessed with it. That's what it is, make it a part of their ego. Yes, Chris is smiling. You've tricked them. Right? The second you make it and I go, oh my, wait.

Baby, I love your barbecue chicken, it's so good. I go, my ex used to make it. Disgusting. Disgusting, and honestly, he had a weak wrist. He couldn't even lift it to me. You know what's so funny? I do that to my brother all the time. My brother is a phenomenal chef.

I love that for him. And I'll DM him. You know, my brother is too. It's kind of crazy. And we don't cook. I'll send him things, and I think he's catching on, but he's actually not. I'll actively be like, I wish you could make this,

but like it's probably way too hard for you. And I always think like he knows I'm fucking with him, but he doesn't. And he'll be like, oh, so you think I can't make that? Like, are you kidding? You're so stupid. I actually can make it when you're coming home next, cause I'll make it.

And I'll be like, in two weeks. And he will have made it. And I'm like, you stupid fuck, you're so stupid. But I do it every time to him. I once, for my brother's birthday, bought him a steak thing, all these steaks. And he gets really into, oh, how high quality are these steaks?

And then I keep buying him things to make steaks with. They love tchotchkes, if you get them a new knife, you can cut a pork chop with that knife that you can make. You make them feel like hunters, you know? That's why I'm like, we're so much smarter. The joke of men used to go to war is so funny to me,

just to wrap this up, because my final thought is men literally used to go to war. They would get- Is it even a final thought if you men literally used to go to war, like they would like, get. Is it even a final thought if you don't adjust your glasses? You know? Also this whole time, this whole time I can't see. I've been fighting for my life with these fake glasses cause I like the aesthetic, but like I feel blind,

I can't hear, I can't talk, I feel, I have nothing left. Men used to go to war, men used to like have their arm blown off and still run and like do used to go to war. Men used to have their arm blown off and still run and do what they had to do. Nowadays, a man's going down on you and sees you're spotting slightly on your period and he's like, I can't do it. Yeah.

Men used to go to war and you can't go down on me when I'm on my period, grow up. Is that, is? And that's a great final thought. Wait, I'm so scared to ask you this because you're gonna break my heart. Oh. Wait, I'm so scared to ask you this because you're gonna break my heart. Oh my God, I'm so excited. You're going to literally rip my heart apart?

Oh my God, yes. Go do it, ask. I told you to watch Detroiters. What did you think? Okay, I watched a couple episodes of it. Second season's better than first. Okay. It's like stupid humor.

So it's not like fully where I'm like, you have to watch the show, it's so funny. But there are so many bits in it that I'm like, that's fucking hilarious. And it gives like a you and I. Right? Right? Stupidness. I'm Tim and you're Sam.

I basically was like, this is so weird, but in another universe, this is me and you. Yes. It's just such a funny, it's just like a stupid show. If you wanna watch the goofiest show ever, I haven't. It's great to fall, I've been falling asleep to it. I fall asleep to the Meghan Markle show,

but to each her own. To each their own I fall asleep to the Meghan Markle show, but to each her own. To each their own. Side note, the Meghan Markle show, I started watching. Who is my Jackie Schimmel? Did a whole thing of her watching it in her comments, and she made a comment where she was like, I've never seen someone like be with her friends, but act like she just met her friends. Like the lack of chemistry she has with like her uncle in it, and I kind of loved it.

I love that. I feel like Megan, we forget, she always wanted to be an entertainer, and now she's just like, this is, but it's funny, because- Well, she's an actress. It's very Martha Stewart, except she doesn't start off with being like, I particularly have a skill for this. She just kind of was like, fuck her, I'm gonna find out.

Yeah, like, I'm getting my kids ready for school and also making beautiful parfaits. Yes. Like, and this is what I do. Yeah, it seems like while the world is burning, you can have a beehive. My only gripe with Meghan, and it's not really even a gripe,

it's I can't stand when she calls Harry H because I just feel like that. Okay. I'm not like, oh my God, it was not expecting that. I'll be here for the rest of the hour. I'm here till Wednesday. Because here's the thing that annoys me, and it's the logistics of it. A nickname is supposed to be easier to say than the actual person's name. The name Harry is quite literally, I feel like one of the easiest names.

Rolls off the tongue. Rolls off the tongue. To say H, I feel like is harder on your mouth. Can you call me H from now on? And then in change, does not make it like an easier nickname. Sorry, I had a friend who I love, but she did the most annoying thing where whenever she'd start dating a guy. Wait, I just realized your name starts with H. I was like, why would I call you that?

You go, wait, Hannah starts with an H. I had this friend who whenever she would start dating a guy, like they'd be a week in, and she'd be like, me and Jay. And his name was like Jason. She'd be like, Jay and I. And then she'd meet another guy named like Patrick. She'd be like, me and P. And I was like, this is, I feel like you're overcompensating

cause you guys actually haven't talked about any. Yeah, you've never spoken to each other. I'm just thinking like have I ever been close to any boyfriend ever? I've never called them like a nickname ever. I would say like from their own name. I once started dating a guy and I would say like babe and he was like don't ever call me that

and I was like okay, I'm packing up therapy. Yeah. Like I'm just. You know what, I have have some other choice words, you fucking asshole. How about that for a nickname, babe? What's your go-to when you were in a relationship and had someone who loved you?

When I felt a warm touch at night. Nothing based off their own name. Yeah, it would be generic. It would be something that happened or like something like, I don't know. I like calling them like what a pimp would call his girls. Like it could be, in case I forget your name,

babe, honey buns. Yeah, like, yeah. I like to say what's cooking good looking. I like, I actually like my name being used. Ooh, there's nothing. Like I like being say what's cooking good looking. I like, I actually like my name being used. Ooh, there's nothing. Like I like being called Paige. Say every fucking syllable of my name including the silent H at the end.

Hannah. Hannah. When Dez says my name fully, I'm like, okay, stop flirting. You're literally obsessed with me. No, like there's literally just- Something really like where you're trying to like make love. Like why don't you chill the fuck out. When you made that kind of thing, that was so intense. No, like literally just something really like where you're trying to like make love

So intense Well, yeah, then does'll say hand sometimes but we actually are similar we have names that like you can't shorten I know like there is no nickname for our names. Yeah, so it's like But here's the thing my name and I've said this for years and no one has ever like agreed with me. Or like, or been like, I see where you're coming from. If you say my name fast, Paige, it can also sound like if you say the word bitch fast, it sounds like Paige.

Because I've been in so many situations where I'm like, did you just call me a bitch? if you say the word bitch fast, it sounds like Paige. Because I've been in so many situations where I'm like, did you just call me a bitch? And they're like, I said Paige. And I'm like, I don't think you did. I don't think you did. I do have to say, if they want to Frankenbite it, it looks the same off the lip. Paige, bitch.

Paige, Paige, Paige. Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige, Paige. Pidge, pidge, pidge. Pidge, pidge, pidge, pidge, pidge, pidge, pidge, pidge, pidge. So, and I never. Your mom called you a bitch. And then the doctor thought it was pidge or wrote it down. Yeah.

This is so, you know when you have a sibling and you're too lazy to say their name fully? So my brother's name's Daniel, but I always called him Denil. Or I thought you were gonna say Dan, but that would've been crazy. God no say Dan, but that was very crazy. That would have been no. No, God no.

God no. I'm definitely in my single era, and one thing I've heard about dating is that like, it is just hard out there. This year, let's focus on finding people who like what you like and want what you want. And discover it on Bumble. I don't want to spend my time matching with lots of people, I want to spend my time with people I'm compatible with. And that's

where Bumble's free Discover feature comes into play. It's a feature that does the heavy lifting for you. Discover brings together a custom mix of people who share your intentions and interests all in one place. So whether you're looking for a fellow foodie or you want someone who loves movies, you want to go to movies all day or you want to go to restaurants all night, Discover is a personalized page based on your previous matches and unique profile, which is extremely important in a relationship. And let's just get it out of the way in the beginning.

Do you want the same things? You can check out the feature in your Bumble app to see your compatible matches. It's curated for you daily. And let's be honest, dating is just more fun when you're connecting over something you actually care about. Like if you don't get my movie references, then I'm sorry.

It's just like not going to work out. And the best relationships, whether it's dating, friendship, or something in between, start with a shared vibe and something that you have in common. So if you haven't checked out Discover yet, tap see who's waiting for you and you can thank me later Try discover on bumble now introducing the new well-being podcast from audible Self-conscious with Chrissy Teigen a safe space to embrace the twists and turns of personal growth one conversation at a time Join the inquisitive and always entertaining Chrissy each week as she explores the cutting edge of well-being

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Conditions apply. Details at Fizz.ca. Wait, what else did you watch this weekend? Oh, there was like a new Netflix show. I like caught up on my stuff. Wait, what else did you watch this weekend? Oh, there was a new Netflix show. I caught up on my stuff. Okay. Oh, so you're being private about it.

She's like, how about none of your damn fucking business? Wait. My mom will always call me and I'm like, okay, I gotta go. I'm gonna watch my shows. And she's like, what shows? And I'm like, you don't know them. She's like, that's why I'm asking. What shows?

No, my mom convinced herself that she has the same taste in shows as you, so whenever you watch something, she watches it. She's like, if Paige likes it, I'll like it. No, we talk about shows a lot. Cause you guys like period pieces, you think they're better than people. No, we love a period piece.

Okay, then I'm gonna bring it up. Wait, did you see? Sorry. Okay, I just took so much courage up. Wait, did you see? Sorry. Okay, I just took so much courage to say the last sentence. What did I see? What did I see? Literally, my boyfriend, Brandon Skelner, which, no. Get his name. Yeah, what is his name?

Sklardner. I said it wrong on the part. He told you. On the pod. I heard like a... Brandon Skelner. Sardner. I said it wrong on the part. On the part? He told you. On the pod. I heard like a... Wernedon Sklner. Sklner.

He has a girlfriend. Like new, like just got one. I don't know, I didn't. Once I saw a girlfriend, I honestly didn't look into it. He heard you talking about him on the pod and he was like, I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend. No, I was like, wow, what interesting timing.

We haven't heard one thing about a girlfriend. I say one goddamn word and it's like a whole article. Hell, I met my girlfriend on Tinder. I was like, wow, what interesting timing. We haven't heard one thing about a girlfriend. I say one goddamn word and it's like a whole article. How I met my girlfriend on Tinder. I was like, oh, fuck off. Tinder? I don't know, I made that up. It could have been something totally different. Well, I'm sorry about that.

Thanks. It's a tough way to start the week, for sure. For sure. It seems like an attack on you. That was like when Charlie Puth got married to make me jealous. I was like, we did. Yeah, that was crazy. he took the bit too far.

Took it so far, I was like, I don't even follow you anymore, how else are we gonna see that? Like, no, I didn't even see it. Okay, I'm beyond about this documentary on Hulu that you told me to watch, Ruby Frankie. No. Not to be confused with Anne Frank, Ruby Frankie. No. Not to be confused with Anne Frank.

Ruby Frankie. No. Here's the craziest part. Prior to her getting arrested, I had never gotten like, I'm not a YouTube girly really, so like I don't really know people that are like very big on YouTube, and I really don't know obviously like families that are big on YouTube and I really don't know, obviously, families

that are big on YouTube. But on my TikTok algorithm, I would say a couple months prior to her getting arrested, I kept getting fed a lot of their videos and people being like, oh, this is a really interesting tactic as a mom. And the comments would be like, no, she's been crazy for years or I've watched them for whatever. No, she's just tough love, whatever.

So I kept getting those. So I knew who they were and then she got arrested. So I've been so in it and obsessed. Well, let's first say what it is. She turned lesbian with that woman. Okay, well, mic drop. Okay. Because I think that's- It's literally the plot of Mulholland Drive, with that woman. Okay, well, mic drop. Okay. Okay.

Because I think that's, It's literally the plot of Mulholland Drive. No, I'm just kidding. So this is the thing. It is such a more complex story than just, I thought it was just a mommy vlogger gone crazy. No. She's not just like a mean mom.

I mean, I think she is. Yeah. But let's be honest, there's Mormonism. Mormonism and brainwashing. Mormonism, brainwashing. So she started off. The husband. Well, he was interviewed the whole time.

The husband has something mental. He loves the embarrassment, the pain. No, it was like, listening to him tell the story, I was just like, you're a freak. You're a freak. Okay, let's call this what it is. You're not normal either, sir. If anything, scariest one here, okay?

This is terrifying. Like a normal person who should be ashamed. Slip into the night, my guy. Like I also, you should be arrested too. You should be arrested too. You should be arrested too. Well stop acting like the father just was absent and had no idea of the family thing. Like he knows the kid was sleeping on the floor.

You knew that your kids didn't get Christmas gifts, a jail. Yeah. Immediate jail time. Yeah, so I'm only episode two in it. I'm only episode two. Oh, okay. So you gave some stuff away already. Sorry. But her whole thing was she didn't even care about money.

She wanted to be America's mom. She loved the fame and then she would go so far as- America's mom, you didn't feed them. Literally, that's the number one thing about being a mom, just feeding us. I'm obsessed with influencer culture where what's going on behind the scenes. And what's incredible about this documentary

is they gave like hundreds of thousands of minutes of footage of her filming herself, which by the way, on my deathbed, delete the drafts in my home. Right, like they have all the videos that weren't posted. Like the things that were edited out, they play. And I'm saying just based on my embarrassment of me like trying to say something and fucking it up,

like that's so embarrassing. She literally is her. Or someone's talking and you're like, I'm filming something. Yeah. You fumble a word, you're trying to get it right. Like that's so embarrassing. She has all that, plus she's like,

kids next door, shut the fuck up, right fucking now, or you better sound happy in this conversation. Did you notice how her daughter referred to her with their first names? As Ruby. And then, the son, one of the sons, is so cute, and she realized that he was the reason they were getting so many views,

because he was so cute. And then he, also, these kids just became teenagers. They basically were like, mom, I wanna play with my friends and not do hours of YouTube video brand deals with you. And she was like, he's possessed, he's gone crazy. So it's a combination of religious stuff, brainwashing from this therapist,

and just, it's a complicated tale of abuse. It's so crazy. And you know, like when I was watching it, one of the things was like, I was like, oh my God, I feel so bad for the younger kids. Like they got the brunt of her like psychosis craziness. But then I was like, wait, I actually feel the worst for the older kids

because they could remember what their mom was like, wait, I actually feel the worst for the older kids because they could remember what their mom was like normal. And like the oldest daughter had like, started crying about something obviously, but she just said like, this is not my mom. Like this is not the mom I grew up with. So that alone, like imagine one day your mom just like, isn't who she's been her whole life

and you're just like, wait, what? Well, the whole concept of filming your kids and you see it a lot. People get, I think, addicted to they put the phone on their kid and they immediately get likes. So they think, oh my God, I want likes. Who gives a fuck, I'll keep filming my kid. No, I said that Daphne was never gonna be on Instagram

two days in and I'm like, she's a runway model. She's a DSW brand deal in stores. I'm like, you wanna go to school? You have to pay for it. And at one point the kids were like, I don't wanna film. And she's like, I'll give you $10 if you film. There are laws in California now that says something like if your kid has to get a certain percentage.

Child labor laws. Yeah, which as there should be. Well, because think about all those years ago, like when kids started, like Shirley Temple. Yes. Like starting and making money. There's famous kids who never saw a dime. Yes, like literally were broke at the end of working their whole childhood.

Yeah. I'd also argue that- Like Shia LaBeouf, like his family like always took his money and shut. I do have to say there's something to be said about kids doing chores and kids having a goal and stuff, but having kids have a full career is not healthy to their development. I'm going to be so honest, a couple days ago I got a call and they're like, Daphne booked a pretty big campaign. And I was like, oh my God, this is so crazy.

I feel like Abby Lee Miller, like one of my dancers is a star. And I said to my agent on the phone, I said, do I have to create her an LLC? Like, I don't want to take, how are we getting paid for this? My agent was like, no, it's an animal. The money can go to you, Paige. I was like, oh, okay.

You're gonna be one of these crazy bitches that is like Paige leaves her entire estate to die. I mean, when you pass away. And your kids are gonna be like, what the fuck? She'll do a fucking cat. Do you wanna know something that's funny and like not true, but funny? Those types of people, I wanna shoot them.

No, when I hear like, oh, celebrity dies and left entire estate to ex-wife or like celebrity dies and like donates it all and has five kids, I would, he's lucky he died cause I would have fucking killed him if I was his child. I think that is like the rudest, most disrespectful. Some of these celebs hate their like,

nepo, their nepo spoiled offspring, so it's like a fuck you, but this is my thing, fine, donate to charity. They didn't ask to be there. Donate to charity though. Like if you're not gonna give it to your kids. If my dad was a billionaire and he died and he left it all to charity,

I'm showing up at that charity. Suddenly I'm charity. Suddenly the name of the charity is called Page to Sorbo. No, that, I just like never understand that. It's like okay yeah, donate some to charity, amazing. But to not give any to your children, I can't. I watch a lot of, you know, celebrity documentaries.

I think some of them who are self-made feel like they want their kids to work hard like they did and not just have tons of money. I couldn't have a more different mindset. I want my child to not even know a thing. Like literally not a thing. I don't want them to struggle for a minute. Yeah. No, I mean, I do don't want them to struggle for a minute. Yeah. No, I mean I do.

I want them to build character, but anyway. But like I feel like that is why you work hard though. It's like, oh, I want to give you a better life than I had. Speaking of kids going through adversity. I saw this on Instagram. Someone said, you know when you're a kid and you have to sharpen your pencil? So you'd get up to the garbage and you'd just sharpen it

and it feels kinda nice. And you'd also get to like, you take a break. That's a version of a cigarette break as a kid. I was the queen of taking a break. The pencil sharpener wasn't enough for me. I was like, ooh, still too stimulating. You guys are all here. I was at the nurse's office.

The nurse knew me, okay? That's so funny, because now you deal with me, Paige will literally be like, this hurts, this hurts, and I go, you're going on stage, bitch. I'm not your fucking nurse anymore. I'd walk into the nurse's office, and she'd say, what is it today, Paige? I'd say, well, I don't know.

We walk into the room. I'm feeling a slight tingle in my throat. Better call my mommy. I feel like my past life when my children died of cholera is coming forward today. No, I'd literally go to the nurse's office and the nurse would say, why don't we just call your mom, talk to her for a few minutes and see how you feel?

And I'd be like, that sounds nice. And so I'd literally go to the nurse's office in the middle of the day, call my mom, see what she was up to, tell her I love her. She'd say, you can finish the rest of the day, and I'd say, fine, and then I would go back to school. I needed like a midday pep talk, okay? It's hard out here.

That's so real. That's so real. Let kids call their mom during school. What was the harm in it? It should be like a jail where they have a row of telephones where you go you're getting a call from PS321 during the middle of the day. Mom I can't do it anymore! This place is a prison!

No I always think about kids that get sent away to like wilderness camp like and they like write home like please pick us up like we hate it like I think about that all the time, like I so would have done that. No, my brother like wrote, my brother was like you, like he was always in the nurse's office and he at one point went to camp, first day was like, no, not doing this, wrote this like insane thing.

Scathing email. The camp had to call my parents to warn them about, cause they read all the mail, which illegal. And they were like, you're going to get a really disturbing message from your son. But this was like a week later and they go, but he's actually doing great right now. So you could kind of disregard that.

Wait, that's so funny. My mother was like, I will not. Wait, that's so funny. My brother was like, I will not say it. Then they called my parents because they were like a piece of them. There was some contraband that someone got into the cabins and it was a Playboy that someone brought and we just need to warn you.

And my dad was like, thank you for letting us know. I I hope our son's gonna be okay. They were like 15. Wait that's so crazy the evolution of porn how crazy kids had to bring magazines. No, Des joked you used to have to go online and print out a photo of boobs. Did you not? I had a friend once who got in trouble when we were young because he was printing out a photo of boobs. No, I never, porn was never in my like, Zite guys. Yeah, it wasn't in my middle school, high school,

Zite guys. It was in all girls school. It never came out. You went to an all girls Catholic school, the amount of shame you guys had about even talking, did you have sex ed? Barely. They were like, if a guy comes to you.

They were like, listen to these 50 cent lyrics. How dare he? And I'm like, this is a fucking banger. What are you guys talking about? No, we barely had it. But we did have religion class. I was like, if you have a baby out of wedlock, you're a whore.

Did you ever have a condom class where they took the banana? Too intense for an all-girls Catholic school now. That's so bad. They basically said condoms exist. For whores. You should know about that. But if you ever thought about stopping God's children from being born. Meanwhile, how many of the girls were getting abortions?

Tens upon tens of hundreds. And like the one girl that did the like religious thing and kept her baby, they were like, you're expelled. You fucking slut. Get out of here. No, it was crazy. It was like, no, what an insane time. What a time. What a time.

Actually, I have to go speak at my high school. Like next month. I'm just saying. Wait, speaking of celebrities and money, this is actually a good segue. Speaking of whores. Did you see? Speaking of whores getting money.

Speaking of the best whore in the world, Kim Kardashian. Did you see Chris Humphries? There's something happen with the engagement ring. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did see that. She said that how she paid for her engagement ring and he asked for it back. Yes. Thoughts.

So Chris Humphries only paid for a fifth of the engagement ring, but then he wanted it back. Thoughts. Yes. So Chris Humphreys only paid for a fifth of the engagement ring, but then he wanted it back. That's not how business works, pal. Not how business works, but he was probably being such a dick during that divorce that he was like, well, give me the ring, and she was like, fine. Like, yeah, just leave me alone.

But also, what is he gonna do, pawn it off? Yeah, I can tell it. Also, at this point, I'd rather keep your one fifth, let me pay for the whole ring. Why do you need to pay for a fifth of it? She probably did that for him to feel. It's almost more embarrassing that he can only put in a little bit.

I'd rather just be like, you can't do it. At least let me have my ring. Okay, what are your thoughts on if I were to get married? Mm-hmm. Okay, what are your thoughts on if I were to get married? Why is that funny? You know, why is that funny? If I fell in love with a man If I were to give a man a chance. If a man were to come correct once, just once. If I were to fall in love with a broke man.

Yeah. Which honestly I love for you. No, maybe that's what I need. Because if he's broke, that means he's so good on so many other things. Except for basic living needs. Yeah, basic living needs and also... That's not even the point.

That's not even the point. Not the point, we're getting sidetracked. That's not even the point. No. I'm just kidding. If I were to... We're so good at manifesting on the pod, you're like, nip it, nip it in the bud.

If I were to fall in love with a broke man, but I loved the fuck out of him and I wanted to marry him and this was my person. Yeah. And he said that he couldn't afford the engagement ring that I specifically wanted. Yeah, because it's insane what you're gonna ask for. I don't think anyone can afford the ring that you want.

There's someone out there. A Princeton fucking. There's someone out there. I actually for how like, for how traditional I am I think in relationships, that actually wouldn't bother me to buy my own ring because I knew it's something I wanted. Now him being broke in general would probably bother me

more than me buying my own ring. My question, you're in a relationship and you're doing well and you decide I want this house and he's like on the fence about it but you're like I can buy it, I'm gonna buy it and I wanna buy our house. Would you buy it? And then it's your asset, you know?

Like it's your investment. I'm not even putting his name down? No. Oh. I mean you can if you want. Well hell yeah. Well hell yeah. You know what, hell yeah. This is my house, bitch. I was saying, the second you get married, you obviously can put your name on everything,

but you can buy what you want because you could live two lives. Why make money if you are still waiting on him to buy you stuff? Honestly, it only matters if we were to get divorced, because if we were to get divorced, houses in my name automatically goes to me. But... Like, if, because I'm just saying ring or house. I'm saying, what if you guys, you're looking at a house and you know, if I put more of my money in,

we could get a nicer house, would you do that? Yeah. Yeah. 100%. So it's kind of, but the ring is such a romantic gesture. Yes, it's, yeah. But also, if you care a lot about what other people think of the size of your ring and he's not hitting it, then you might want to add some buffer to it.

I'll add a buffer. Would you tell people if you added a buffer? No, because I feel like that would make him feel insecure. Would I tell him at nighttime when it's just the two of us? Hell yeah. Would I bring it up every time? Every time we fought? Fuck yeah.

When I was giving birth to his children, I'd be like, what have you done at all? You couldn't even get a full fucking, this ring, I fucking had to get for myself and my blood, sweat, tears! Someone was joking online about, like, if your husband murdered someone, would you throw them under the bus? I bled, I dived, I bled, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, I dived, it's like, I would hold it over his head. Do you remember a speed dial? Wait. That's like, I feel like you had it saved

in the like telephone. In like real home phones? Yeah, so like you'd press one. I might just move it up. I don't remember that. These two are not helpful for this. Yeah. They have no idea what's going on.

One other thing about relationships that was actually I learned from Detroiters, which you all should watch, watch the first episode, tell me what you think, it's my favorite comedy right now. They said when you're in a relationship, you have to feel like that person enables your star factor. And I really liked that.

I really liked that, because there's a lot of like, oh, you know, only one person could be a star, whatever. I feel like you should bring out the star in each other. I've realized that like, if you want to be a better person for that person, like that's a good time. Like I've never wanted to like improve something about myself. Or you find yourself actually getting worse. Yeah, because I'm like, I don't have to improve anything because I'm so much better than you. It's like you need time to catch up. Or yeah, you're not improving because you're so busy trying to improve them

that you're actually haven't even like focused on yourself at all. So I know like I'm in a healthy relationship when I'm like, wait. When you check yourself. Yeah, when I'm like, wait, I actually want to eat a little healthier. Hannah started wearing an ear cuff and it literally changed her whole personality. And if you're going to shop ear cuffs, you have to go to Majore. Their new ear stacks come in all shapes and sizes. They have hoops for days.

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My favorite thing about their hoops is they're really made to live in. Like if I fall asleep and take a nap, I usually have to take my earrings out, but with Majore, I honestly don't even feel them. So whether you wanna play, mix, or stack in store in app, go to majore.com. Introducing the new well-being podcast from Audible, Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen, a safe space to embrace the twists and turns of personal growth one conversation at a time.

Join the inquisitive and always entertaining Chrissy each week as she explores the cutting edge of well-being with a leading expert in their field, digging into powerful concepts and sharing practical tools for every day. Featuring in-depth conversations with bestselling authors like Mel Robbins, Nidra Glover Tuab, Adam Grant, and Gabby Bernstein. Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen invites listeners to learn life-changing new skill sets alongside Chrissy and discover powerful new ways of understanding ourselves. Whether you're new to the world of well-being or a lifelong traveler, keep your journey

going and growing with Chrissy. Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen, the new wellness podcast from Audible. Expand your self-awareness, gain valuable insight and become more self-conscious new episodes drop each week go to audible.ca slash Chrissy podcast or wherever you get your podcast and start listening today there's nothing like moving into a new space or like wanting to redecorate your space because it really has to feel good for you I was like so stressed when I was decorating my new apartment because I was like I wanted to be calm but I also wanted to be my style. If you live in Canada then you have to know about Cozy. It's a Canadian furniture company that brings adaptable high quality furniture to

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just relax. For now, just relax. I pulled my back out last week. Doing Pilates? Yeah. Like in the midst of the class, you were like, something's not right. In the midst of the class, I think I had too much adrenaline and I didn't realize it, but I was doing a move very wrong for way too long. Like you know it's like you do everything for like three minutes.

Yeah. I was two and a half minutes in and the lady was like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How did you even get your body in this way? But I'm not going to point fingers, copping the girl in front of me. Yeah, OK. So someone check on her back as well because we're both not doing well. Girl, if you're listening to the pod, hit me up. We can ice packs together.

That's literally being in middle school and we both failed this test. It's like who cheated on who, we don't know. Because I'm just going on what she's doing because sometimes, whatever, but long story short, she should have caught it earlier. And it's on her. And I go, look, it's like no one did anything. I never did anything wrong.

Everyone did everything else wrong. But I was doing this crazy twisting move and I was bending during the twist and you're supposed to stand during the twist. Whatever, I fucked it up. I'm not of the age where I just snap back. Snap back. No. I, and obviously after Pilates, what do you think I did all day?

Sat in a weird position watching Detroiters for the next eight hours. So I got up and I immediately was like, I've pulled my back out. Do you want to know the last time that happened to me? I got a cat. So watch out. Oh you wanna know the last time that happened to me? I got a cat. So watch out. Oh, don't tempt me. Don't tempt me. But I Googled it and they were like,

the one thing you shouldn't do if you've pulled your back is like sit in the same position for too long. And I was like, well, that's the only thing I'm gonna do. So what have you already done that? I was like, it's too late for me. And I had already pressured Grace the next morning to do Pilates with me.

Well, you've done it to yourself. So I wake up in the morning, and not only am I fighting my own demons, but I have sweet, sweet Grace, who looks forward to this with me. It's like pretty much, like she doesn't have a lot of other things going on. We are, she has so much, she's up to here with work.

It is the highlight of her day. I make a couple of jokes. She's like, let me get a good stretch in with my boss. She's laughing,, she's up to here with work. It is the highlight of her day. I make a couple of jokes. She's like, let me get a good stretch in with my boss. She's laughing because it's true. I'm making jokes. Whenever it's a hard exercise, I look over at her and we have a moment together. It's really quite, it's so fun.

She's like, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job. She did. So, this was like literally me being insane. And I'm gonna pull it up. So I send her a long voice note. Because I know- Grace? Yes.

Hasn't she endured enough? After the fact, after the class, you're like, let me follow up with her. No, before the class, I send her a whole thing. I'm like, I am so sorry to ruin your day. I'm not gonna be able to make it to class today. I pulled my back out. Oh, okay.

So she goes, OMG, Godspeed, we'll miss you. Looking back at it now, I think she just said it to say it, but when I saw it, I go, oh my God, she's gonna miss me. Get it together. Is she gonna be okay to be in the class by herself? So then I'm like, Hannah, just go. Because I started Googling, can you do Pilates with a bad back?

And they were like, oh, Pilates is actually good for a bad back. And I'm like, just go. Because I started Googling, can you do Pilates with a bad back? And they were like, oh, Pilates is actually good for a bad back. And I'm like, that's crazy. Do you think that people at Google are ever like, no, you fucking idiot. It literally says, if you have a bad back, Pilates can help. And I go, so I'm going back to the source of the pain.

So then I go, okay, well maybe I'm being a little bitch and I should just go and it'll help my back. So I respond to her, I go, actually nevermind, I'll go. She goes, okay. I go, thank you. And then. And then.

What? Why did you say thank you? Then 10 minutes later I go, actually my back hurts too much, nevermind. Oh my god. Cause I stood up and I was like no Fucking head So this is at 1115 1116 I go JK coming

30s like I have to leave so she goes someone is at war with Their brain this morning. And then the best part is after that I go, JK can't. JK can't. And then she goes, rest. Why didn't you say rest in the beginning? Cause I would have just rested, but instead I felt like I was ruining your fucking day.

So again, Grace and I. Oh my God. Anyway, I should not have put her through that, but I was fighting for my life, because I kept being like, am I being a pussy? Yeah. So now how's your back? Great, I need a day off.

I really need that day off. Honestly, it made so much of a difference. You literally, and here's the thing about when you hurt yourself, you don't realize it until that moment that you're getting older and that you don't bounce back until you're not bouncing back. Until it's too late and you can't feed your own cat

because as you bend down to give her water. Yeah, and you get frustrated at yourself. You're like, no, be healed now. No, 100%. Even like going to Pilates, like this past week, I like ate the healthiest I've eaten in like years. And I went to Pilates and I looked in the mirror and I was like, where are the results?

You do not snap back. You just don't snap back. When I tell you, all I had to take was a sturdy shit in my 20s and I was like, okay, snap. No, truly, truly. Speaking of body shaming, did I ever tell you what my nickname was, like through high school into college?

No. Quadzilla. What? Quadzilla. Hannah, which I'd quite literally dig my own grave and pass away. That's why I'm funny. That's why I have a good personality. I had a huge, I still, they're not as strong,

but I used to have like, my quads were like- What is a quad? It's like above your knee. Like my quads were so strong, the muscles were like bulging over my kneecaps. So like your thighs. Like I could squat like insane amounts and I was really fast on the court

and literally hot guys would be like, sup quadzilla. I'm like sorry, I'm just like part of them. Wait, hold on, I'm just like not creative, just like not a good nickname. Quadzilla? No, the kids were so lazy with it and it stuck. See, before that I was called elf ears, so it was kind of, honestly,

at least it was powerful in a way. At least you thought of Christmas and joy, quadzilla. Christmas and joy. That's crazy behavior. And like I couldn't tell if like they thought my legs were like cute or not. I know. But I told you I'll always have guys being like,

hey, what do you do for those calves? Like they want my like calf workout. No, Hannah, you're stronger. You are so strong because if someone asked me, a man specifically said, what do you do for your cab workouts? I'd... No, men look at me like a horse.

They like check my teeth. They're like, what? Why are men always trying to treat you like they're breeding with you? Yeah, and they're like, what's your vert? Yeah, what? They're like, do you wanna race? Men always get so oddly competitive with you.

In like such a, what is that? That's why. I wonder if it's just like the energy you give off like immediately. I do have to say, I did start thriving in college though, because division one babies were like a topic. Okay. So like a lot of the athletes would be courting women

and then they'd see me and they'd just smell a Nike sponsorship for their child immediately. Like yeah, you could go with the sorority girl who can't fucking walk in a straight line or I could fucking throw a football 100 yards. What do you want for our child? Do you want your child to dunk? Right.

With these calves? And if, yeah. So it's just like a matter of what kind of DNA you want. Wow. But a lot of these- No, I will say no one's ever come up to me and said like, hey, our kids might be athletic. If anything, they're like, I think you'll have a gay son.

I think you'll have a gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers. One thing about me- Don't talk about my unborn gay son. I'm talking about my gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers. One thing about me. Don't talk about my unborn gay son because he's fabulous. Wait, do you think your son's gonna be gay? I don't know. You want it so bad.

I think that if I had all boys, well, one, I'd actually go to church for so many days in a row and be like, what did I, where did I mess up? And if one of them is not gay, God is really trying to teach me something. I have heard that you've been cracking me up on the road about the boy mom's joke,

which we're not doing anymore. Can we please do it? So I found a photo of Paige dressed up like... Just like the pinnacle of what you think, like when you picture a boy mom like picking her son up from practice, that's the outfit I'm wearing. And like her son's name is like Tanner, Tucker,

something crazy. Xylophones. But no, and you have like flannel on and you have your knee-high boots and like you have your Starbucks order that was so complicated and unnecessary. And like the weather isn't conducive for a beanie, but she's wearing a beanie.

It's part of your look because it is fall. It's part of her allure. Yes. And like she just gives that like her oldest, Trenton, she loves him the most and like everyone knows she loves him the most. And she like writes him notes in his lunchbox that nobody's gonna ever love you

the way mommy loves you. His little girlfriend, she refers to her as little girlfriend, you know? And she also wants to fuck him. You let me show this outfit, Paige is like, this is an outfit of a boy mom who wants to fuck her eldest son. And that is so real.

It's so real. I might think you having a daughter would be too powerful. The alliance you guys would have. Maybe the universe. Well once, honestly Daphne did something over the weekend with a dog. Actually let me just tell the guys. Just tell them.

So Daphne was in the same vicinity as a dog this weekend and I was really nervous about it. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna put gates up and like, she can't, I don't need her anywhere near this dog. Obviously in true like, Cat. Cat fashion. I turned my head for a minute and I'm like,

where the fuck's the cat? I see her standing on like a thing of stairs, staring at this dog. This dog is backed up into a corner crying, okay? Daphne's literally like far away from him too, like maybe like 30 feet away from this dog. She's just sitting on the stairs, looking at this dog, licking her paw.

Just being like- Unfazed. Unfazed, like this is my house now bitch, like I don't. And in that moment I was like, you're my biological daughter, you don't give a fuck about a boy. That's my baby. That's my, so like the thought of like watching my daughter

do something that's like against the patriarchy, no it's too powerful, I'll cry. I'm so proud of her. So she wasn't even like hissing or anything, she literally She literally just looked at this. She literally looked at the dog. I almost felt like she looked at the dog, looked at me and was like, okay. That was the energy she was giving to me. I'm obsessed with her so much.

We had a Zoom recently where both Butter and Daphne were on the Zoom. And so they kind of met. They did. They didn't make eye contact, but like. But they were like. They're on a on the Zoom. And so they kind of met. They did. They didn't make eye contact, but like, but they were like,

they're on a work call together. Yeah, they were like, if you guys don't leave us anything after you die. Divorce. Jessica Simpson has new music inspired from her divorce. Have you seen it? Wait. Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson, yeah. Oh my, I forgot she was getting a divorce. Have you seen it? Wait. Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson, yeah. Oh my, I forgot she was getting a divorce. She was with a hockey player, so we knew that was gonna happen. Yeah. Oh, he was? I think so. I don't think so.

Can we Google who Jessica Simpson's ex was? Are you thinking Carrie Underwood? It's possible. It's possible. It's possible. Was he a businessman or was he a hockey player? I think he was a businessman. Well, he had a block head. What is a businessman?

Again, something men made up to feel important. What is? I think he's a football player. Oh. Football, oh football. Even worse. Archivally the same. So he cheated, I guess.

So she's back doing music. Which it's interesting. It's like he leaves, she's back doing what she's passionate about. Also, the hate that woman got. No, I have it burned in my brain. The outfit she was wearing, denim, flared jeans with a leopard belt and a white t-shirt.

And they were like, this woman is huge. Well, yeah, they weight shamed her, but also they shamed her voice, which like, I'm sorry. People were always mean to Jessica Simpson. Can you guys sing better? Then shut the fuck up. Also, I loved her voice. She's got the last laugh in that book now, though.

I think she's a legit billionaire. Good. From her Jessica Simpson line. Her shoe line, like her line does incredibly. But it looks like she's back. First time she performed in like years. So shout out to her, I'm proud of her. I'm so proud of her.

I've been seeing this thing on TikTok and I'm gonna try and do it. This is, oh, let me update the gigglers on my face masks this weekend. I did two face masks. One was a Metacube, I'll put it in the newsletter. I was obsessed with it. I love it.

And then I've been seeing this thing on TikTok where it's like how to stay more present like in your everyday life, which is something I'm really trying to work on. Like staying present in the moment that we're in, you know? Not letting my mind wander and then I'm having a fake fight with someone in my brain. I'm like, how did we get here? And then four hours later.

Yeah. I'm like, well, I wand. But it's called a color walk. And basically you go out on a walk and you pick a color. And then every time you see that color, you note it in your head, like, okay, red stop sign, like red awning, red car. It sounds like a kid game. Yeah.

Are you sure it wasn't like for parents whose kids were being annoying on walks? I spy with my little eyes. Wow, now that I think about it, me and my mom played I spy all the freaking time. Every time we got in the doctor's office, she was like, okay, let's play. Just caught on now. That's what they say though,

when you're having a panic attack to like, look at something and say like, put your feet on the ground. The color, the smell, whatever, you know how it is. Well, I'm glad that you're really connecting to colors right now. You know, I'm really connecting to nature, trying to get my 10K steps in.

Wait, why does this make me more worried for your well-being? Wait, what are you searching for that you don't have right now? A husband. You devil, in and out of being like, if I have to see a man. I do have to say though, it just takes one man.

And for everyone listening, we joke about decentering. We don't joke, it's very serious decentering. But you wanna decenter while finding that one person. No, I'm also just being funny and sarcastic. My rhyme has never been better. I mean, my skin has been better. But when you have things you wanna do that you're like, oh, I really wanna to do those, but like, I just never have time.

And it was like, oh, once I have like a full Sunday off, like I'll do all those things. I've been doing all those things. Wait, I'm so proud of you. Are you ever worried that you're going to clog all your pores with too many masks? Okay. First of all, have you been texting my mom? No, are you drowning yourself? Well, okay. I'm dealing with four pimples right now, so like, be easy on me.

So I've been sending her memes. No. Of her pimples' personalities. In just different things personified. Usually my route is like, I'm gonna dry the fuck out of my skin, I'm gonna dry this pimple right up, but this weekend I went and did the opposite

and I hydrated my skin like a thousand times more than I ever would and my skin actually, my pimples did get better. I'm still like dealing with the roughness. Because sometimes when you're dry, I feel like it adds more oils which can clog it more. Like I kind of made that up but like. No, I mean it sounds right but I didn't.

I also do feel like pimples have a natural life cycle that sometimes you just have to let them live. Yeah, the best thing that I use, again, I'll put it in the newsletter, is my light zapper to stop an active pimple. No, it really, truly does work. It saps the bacteria. Wait till you read the newsletter this week.

What is the spray that you use for weeds? Roundup. She goes, I use my Roundup and I give it a little spritz. Honestly? That is something I would do. I do have to say this was the first weekend we had free and like forever. Yeah.

And I was really battling demons though, cause I would like be like, oh my gosh, feels so good. And then like four hours in, I'd be like, am I depressed? And then I'd be like, no, we're enjoying ourselves. And I'd- No, I would like put things on my list and be like, if I have this be like, am I depressed? And then I'd be like, no, we're enjoying ourselves. And I'd be like- No, I would like put things on my list and be like, if I have this free day, like I might as well get this done.

And I had to like act, and that's how I felt like I was, I've crossed over into adulthood. I had to actively be like, no, relax, rest. See, resting is huge. But I feel guilty. No, resting is so important, which we learned from my back earlier in this episode.

I've not become a full adult yet because my mom called me and was like, you haven't been to the gynecologist in years. And I was like, I go, well, I don't have a gynecologist and no one set me up with one. And she was like, that's not how it works. So I went on ZocDoc and this is the thing, ZocDoc for gyno is wild.

But I found, I honestly liked her energy from her photo. You have to go on vibes because there's nothing else on Doc Doc to go by. Whose forearm do I want in my pussy? So she was cute, she seemed nice. Because you're never going... male. Except for my freezing my eggs. My doctor is a guy and I'm fine with it. He's made me fine with it. I don't remember it being so quick though. She literally just like in and out, shoved it,

felt up my boobs. I do have a lipoma. I have like a big fat cell on the side. Have you seen it? Of course I have. No, I have like a huge fat globule. You have to go to a dermatologist and get that taken out? I just searched on ZocDoc Lipoma Doctor

and I just set up an appointment. So we'll see what happens there. Okay, this is really important to me specifically. I either need a full video of them taking that out of you or I need to come with you. This is my super bowl. No, but this is my problem is that I want to go in and be like, can you cut it out?

Thank you. Where I think it's like gonna be a whole thing. Sometimes I watch videos and it's sister lipoma and you have to guess and I love those videos. Really? Yeah. Okay, how did they get the lipoma out? They literally chop it off. Okay, well do you think somebody would do it the first time?

Cause I really don't want to go back and forth like a hundred times. Oh, no, I think you're going to have to go in for a consultation first. They're not just going to meet you and say, let's chop your skin off. What if I just give them a 20 and I'm like, can you just cut it off, please?

Let's just freeze this off, huh? There's like different, anyway, it's growing. And honestly, like the summer's coming and I just feel like. Yeah, no, you need it off. I need it off. No, it's, come on. Yeah, like... Yeah, and then you need it off. I need it off. No, it's too... Come on. Yeah.

But she said it's not breast cancer, so just want to let you guys know. Oh, good. I didn't even know that was something that... It's just like, it's close to my boob. Got it. Okay. Wow, the pod has gotten crazy. We went in so many different directions, who even knows?

Honestly, and the final thing, final celeb I want to bring up, who I've honestly never respected more. And she gets torn apart for everything she does. Taylor Swift. Would she do? She was paparazzied with Travis Kelce and the back of her hair. A mess? A complete mess.

Not her business. None of her business. The woman is a business woman. The back of her hair, not important. It's starting to make me realize the gag has been on us the whole time. I think she loves people being like, her style's not great, or whatever's great,

because she's like, I'm a billionaire, and I still do whatever the fuck I want, and I'm not gonna conform to whatever societal pressure you think a female celebrity should be. And her walking on this date where she knew was gonna get photographed, and her hair being a damn mess in the back. She didn't wanna go to dinner.

She literally, that's a woman who was on the couch and was like, do we have to go? She thought she was gonna get out of it. Yeah, she thought she was gonna get out of it. She really thought, she was like, it's windy outside, have you seen the wind? I don't know if the roads got canceled. Some quick updates.

Our book comes out in less than a month. And I know you guys thought this was a bit. So did we. It's not a bit, it's done. The book is done, and a lot of you have already pre-ordered it, however, I looked at the numbers of the people who listened to the pod and the people who have pre-ordered the book.

Some of you haven't. No, I'll find you. Hello. Some of you haven't. This book is our passion, our life's work. I highly recommend go and order it. Our thesis. Our thesis statement of life.

No, like we worked on our thesis. It's literally, we put our heart and soul, we bled onto it, and if you click in the description, you can pre-order it, and you'll be one of the first to get it when it comes out on April 15th. Also, the audio book is available, so you can immediately-order it and you'll be one of the first to get it when it comes out on April 15th. Also, the audiobook is available so you can immediately get it. So do it now so you don't forget. Which is basically just listening to the pod. Yes. You know? Yes. It's just a fun, a spicier fun pod. A longer pod. A longer pod. Where we like... Anyway, yeah.

Trying to think of something. Also, I have shows in Albany this weekend. Are you coming? Oh yeah, when? Thursday, Friday, Saturday? Do you want to come Thursday? Yeah. We'll talk about it.

But I also just announced shows in New Haven, Connecticut, Providence, Rhode Island, Brooks, California, Highland, California, Ridgeville, Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, and West Hampton Beach. Those are all my new hour. Yay, I'm so excited. Paige is gonna see my new hour this week, give me notes. I'm so excited for it.

She might actually do her own 10 minutes, we'll see. I'm not doing that ever, but thank you. I quote Paige D'Sorbo, she said, "'I would never stand for that long.'" I couldn't, I'd pass out. Literally, I've been watching Amazon Live sometimes when I miss you. I have to sit. You're doing full stand-up. I'm doing full stand-up. You're doing full Live sometimes when I missed you. I have to say.

You're doing full stand up. I'm doing full stand up. You're doing full stand up. Literally I was like kicking my legs. I was like. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. Talk soon.

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