Giggly Squad - Giggling about NYC influencers, the Super Bowl, and getting abducted

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Paige has strong opinions on Rihanna's performance, fashion week, and being pregnant with Hannah. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm in the day just got away from me. Hello my gig of the goblin gooblies. I wanted to say what you said before we started recording which was so funny when we both show up on Zoom and make up, we know that we're tired. We went to hard. We were both wearing makeup. Yeah, we did too much that day. We need to be in the bed.

We both, when we wear makeup, look like we're trapped. In a body we don't want to be in. There's nothing I want more than to literally scratch my whole, my fingers down my face and then just like puts what pants on like There's nothing I want more, but I'm so bad at makeup that like four hours into the day Normally my makeup just comes off because I'm so greasy, but that's besides the point. Wait, hold on before I say this I have a story so I had to go to Mexico for a wedding and My mom obviously like was so mad about it and was sending me all these travel advisories and was like, please don't go, please cancel this

trip. I have to go to the spotting, whatever. It wasn't a question of if I was going to get abducted. It was like, you're going to get abducted. What are you going to do in that moment? She's got me so fucking scared. So we get out, we get out of the airport and we meet our driver who Craig had like hired,

I don't know if I'm like the hotel or whatever to come pick us up. I'm standing there, this girl, it's me, Craig and the driver. This girl comes up to me and she goes, oh, I just wanna say, like I'm such a fan of Giggly Squad, like, oh my god, I love you. And we just have a small combo. But I'm trying to make sure that this girl

isn't talking very loudly because I didn't want the driver to hear. Right as she walks away, the driver goes, fan of what? Like, why did that girl just say that she was a fan of you? And so in my head, I was like, oh my God, if they're gonna steal someone,

they're literally gonna steal the small five four woman who is only in almonds on the plane and hold them for ransom who like is famous in the United States like they're taking me exposure to Gen.C. and Millennial women on my head. Yeah they're gonna literally post my ransom on TikTok. I'd like do a dance. And so in my head, I say, so then I say to the driver, I go, oh, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, I just have this like really small niche podcast that's like a very small corner of the internet. Just a very coincidence that I'm seeing someone.

Craig chimes the fucking. Oh my god. And goes, he's the fucking. Oh, yeah, actually, like, she has a podcast and like, she just like, so everybody loves it. And we actually do, like, entertainment stuff in the United States. And I look at him and I was like, are you setting me up to actually be abducted? You're like, but we're broke. We haven't saved any of our money. We have't saved any of our money. We're very visibly irresponsible. My family hates me. They'll never pay for me to come back. It's a lost boss.

I have no family. The other thing, okay, I got super high last the other week, the other day, whatever it was. And I was looking at like a merch inspo, like for us. You know how we always say niche? Like this is a niche podcast on like a merch inspo, like for us. You know how we always say niche, like this is a niche podcast on like a small niche corner of the internet. So anyway, I like told this story like a million times

and everybody was like laughing at like the word niche, like they'd never heard it before. They're like, oh my God, so funny, like niche podcast. Whenever I say any joke that no one laughs at, I go, sorry, that was really niche. It was really niche. Super, super niche. And then I was looking then later that night, whatever.

I'm looking for like merch and spell and like how we can do like new collections, whatever. Why have we not made a sweatshirt that says niche is a place in France? We have to make it like now. We have to make it immediately. Misha's blizzard. Sony.

That's also the name of your next book. Like when you write a book. Yeah. Misha is a place in the book. I think it's cute. Yes. I think it's like fashion. I'm obsessed.

OK, we have to do that like this week. I thought that was so. I was so proud of myself. Wait, you're a genius. You don't have to work for months now. You could get kidnapped. And by the time you come back, you'll be fine. Wait, you're a genius. You don't have to work for months now. You could get kidnapped and by the time you come back, you'll be fine. Wait, that is so funny because you saw what I posted about my mom. She sent me on New York Times article.

It says like, Joe Manikers are unsafe. My dad. And I posted it. I said, why are moms like this? Everyone was like, my mom sent that Everyone was like my mom sent that to me my mom You get another gel my dad was like hey when you get your nails done you don't do that UV light, huh? Cuz it just saw something on the today show. I wanted to be like the amount of horrible things I've done to my body the past 30 years a little UV light on my fingers You're like UV you be light. I have a UTA every single day and I fight for my life. I would love to go because of a gel manicure.

If that's the way I die, that's the way I die. Any doctor can sell me any laser and I put it right on my fucking face. Okay. Literally if they said stuff this inside of you, I would fucking do it. There was more chemicals in my Starbucks order this morning. Literally.

Also like, okay, so you want me to just walk around with my raw chicken nails? My little nubs? I actually don't get gel, though. I do gel because I'm like, I'm just crazy with my hands. Well, it lasts longer. But I had had paddapanic. Oh my god, I had a vision. So I am very new to the nail industry, right?

But I think I'm a trendsetter already. She's delusional, but like she's trying, you know? Yeah. I wanted to go with like a sage green. Mm-hmm. Like I wanted a green, and I was like, this is gonna be the moment. Like I'm the new Haley Bieber. I'm gonna do a green, and all the girl is gonna get green. Like I wanted a green and I was like this is gonna be the moment. Like I'm the new Haley Bieber. I'm gonna do a green and all the girls are gonna get green. And I sat down

and the lady was like absolutely not. She said no. She was like no no no you don't want green. And I was like no like I have a vision and she was like no no no and she goes it's Valentine's Day. You need to get pink. And I was like, bitch, that's so basic. I don't want pink, I want green. I want it to, like, I can picture you sitting there, though, she said, no, you're not getting green. You said, okay. I literally sat there with my dealt with my legs

and said, I'm so sorry. You're like, I need to draw a blind deal. I mean, green is like, throw up and like, it's the worst year, I don't even know why I picked it. Yeah, give me the hot pink. Thank you. I would never, ever force you picked it. Yeah, give me the hot pink. Thank you. I would never, ever force you to paint my nails with something you didn't like.

But also, I realize I am also the drama because I know people would hate the green, but I kind of get off on that. Like I love it for this green. I think green would be cool. I mean, I probably would have picked the wrong shade. Green is honestly one of my top three favorite colors. I manifest stationing money. So she goes, you have to do pink and I go okay can we do like a

Chrome I just said that and then she was like yes and then I start panicking I'm like no Chrome is not in anymore like the girls were doing Chrome like four months ago we can't do Chrome so I ended up getting pink Chrome so here my pink chrome nails. And like, I think it's fine, but it's not, it's not what you wanted. It's not what you wanted. And Paige, tell me the truth, chrome.

I feel like chrome isn't like cool, cool. Like people, it's not ahead of the game. I don't think it's uncool though. But you're not gonna look at me and be like, wow, she's new and trend setting. Not like I would if you had green. Yeah, so that woman sabotaged me. She's probably hired by who's coming for me right now. Honestly, what day of the week is that really? We get a nickel. We get a knock-ype track. Like, wait, so overall, how was Mexico?

OK, it was really fun. It was, it's so funny to go on this. We went on vacation with, this was like Craig's college group of friends, and there was like 40 of them because they're all like married. But they all went to like the College of Charleston. So I was literally the only one. And it's so fun to go away with moms.

Like I didn't realize because they are fucking down for anything at any time. Like the more drinks they can have, like the better. It's, they're probably my favorite travel people. It's almost like they're going through their early 20s again. Yeah, and everybody, everyone gives the same advice and it's just wait. Don't do it yet, just wait. And like all of these moms had babies that were like three or four at the top, like now.

Yeah. Like they all got married kind of early. They scare you and they were so mixed messages. They were ready to pop off. They were ready to do it, don't do it, you'll hate it, you'll love it, you're gonna love them but you're gonna hate yourself. And I was like, I don't, I feel more confused than ever. The wedding was gorgeous.

It was in this like really small town in Mexico and it was so like authentic. Like no one really spoke English at all. Which I love, because I'm not a huge talker to strangers anyway. I'm like, I get you, you get me. Great. So I- It's not funny that you still know who you vibe with.

Yeah. Sorry, that just reminded me of the meme when it's like pets are so weird. It's just you and this other creature that doesn't speak the same language, but you just fuck with them. It's such a small town that like everyone has golf carts, so you just drove your golf cart around. And it was really fun. Was the food good because I love Mexican food. Okay, I'm gonna be totally honest. I didn't realize that I love Mexican food. Okay, I'm gonna be totally honest. I didn't realize that I love Mexican food, but I realize that I like American Mexican food. Okay, you like like Tex Max.

Well, I like sour cream. Same. And that's not a thing there. You're 100% right. You literally get tacos and you're like, can I have sour cream and they're like, they're like, what? Yeah, it was, they didn't know.

And Craig was like, stop asking for sour cream. You have to bring sour cream. Like, you have to traffic. If someone, and to Mexico. If someone told me, I literally would have. I was unaware that it was like such an Americanized thing. I just envisioned you getting kidnapped being like they give you some food under the door and you

I would literally be the worst person to get kidnapped and I have like and I'm not getting everyone majority of the girls that I spoke to like on this trip could not stop shitting their pants They were also taking tequila like it was literally being rationed so that might have had something to do with it They could literally not stop shitting their pants and I wanted it. I was like would you eat? I was going I was looking for anything because you were clogged up. I was clogged up I was in the camp that was clogged up and then other people were in the camp where like they could not Well, yeah, cuz you were so nervous about getting taken so your whole body was just So fucking nervous and Craig is usually very like

He does not want me to hear him going to the bathroom like at all But our room was so small and we did have like a little balcony that like sometimes I would go out to because I knew like he had to go to the bathroom. I would, I was like, I wish I could go. And then he got to one point. He looks at me and he goes, look, we're in Mexico. We're gonna just, we're gonna just have to deal with it because I rather you be healthy than like feel like you're making a lot of noises So if you have to go, I want you to immediately go like don't try and hold anything Well you guys just hit like a new step in your relationship And I was like oh my god are you saying that like if I farted in front of you like you'd be okay with it

And you always godpitch I hate that word and I go say it Just say it. I go just whispered fart and he was like I'm not doing it why do we always try and make me do things okay so does this like known like how do I say it he's known like a playground legend apparently as a kid for being like the best farder Like I guess that's all they do at all boys schools all boys Catholic schools He said that he was fart to the point that people would clap after oh my and I was like I don't know how to feel like he can fart on commands Yeah, I don't know how command but when he does it like it like lasts like three minutes and it like has like a journey It has like a chorus and it's like

It was literally does his farting is better than Rihanna's halftime There's crescendo there's altos. There's the pranos There was t-shirt guns Literally he gets that anything on back there. It was funny though when they were saying the background dancers were the sperm that didn't make it. Gross. Were those hazmat suits? They kind of looked like that.

It looked like hazmat slash like, make it obrissky. I don't know. Look, I tell you, does it make me a ski again next week? Oh my god. I can't do it anymore. I can't know. Look, I tell you, does this make me risky again next week? Oh my god. I can't do it anymore. I can't do it anymore. Like, it started as a joke and then next year I have a full ski podcast.

Where are you going skiing? Where are you going skiing? Well, I'm doing shows in Vancouver. I'm so excited about I've never been. And then he's like, let's stay a little longer and go to Whistler. Oh, oh my god. We're so she. It's fancy. let's stay a little longer and go to Whistler. Oh, oh my god, so she.

It's fancy, it's nice. But, um, and he was like, babe, we're gonna wake up at 70 am. I was like, why am I so poor, Julia? Also, like, I'm, bitch is tired. I've been in Albuquerque. By the way, have you ever tried to spell Albuquerque? I would never even attempt to.

After the first three letters you fight for your life, like you're so... When you get to the quirky part, you're done. Because I kept having to text people where I was and I was like, I can't do anything. And then, but then I got really boring with naming you Mexico. But, like imagine being Mexico being like, oh, so you think you're like, yeah, I'm beautiful. Like you're saying I need eye cream. Yeah. Anyway, then I went to San Diego, now I'm in LA, then I'm going Vancouver and then I'm going to be in a full ski boot camp.

It feel like I now that like I've watched you be married for like almost a year, I feel like women have babies to get out of things that their husbands want to do. Fully, fully. Like if you were pregnant right now, you'd be like, I'm so mad, I can't go skiing with you. No, I'll really be lying there with butter on my chest and I'm like, can you grab their remote?

And he's like, you right there. And I'm like, butter is on my chest. And then I'm like, I need to get pregnant. You're like, I'm mothering. Literally, the only reason people ask me all the time, when are you gonna get married, when are you gonna get engaged? The only reason I literally even think about possibly

getting married or engaged is so that I can time it so that I can be pregnant with you. Like, I just wanna experience that with you. That was the most beautiful thing you've ever said about our friendship. Gross. I'm uncomfortable. I just feel like it would be... I just would feel the most comfortable with you.

It would get out of reality TV retirement to do me a year pregnant on reality TV. You're like, look, this is less exciting than the Rihanna Super Bowl. You guys haven't left bed. And before we see opening of the show would just be us overly waddling down. Shine bright like I just couldn't. I couldn't think of someone better to listen to a pregnancy experience than you, because I just really get to be so funny.

Also, I mean, I'm waiting to get pregnant for when you tell me to get pregnant, because that's what the psych is telling me. I just feel like it would be cool to go through it with you and not be alone. Yeah. Think about all the things we'd have to talk about on the pod. What if your face gets swollen and mine doesn't?

I'll keep you waiting. You're gonna put it in literally just put it into the atmosphere. My tongue is gonna be swollen and you're gonna literally look like you have a small basketball on your stomach. I'm gonna have two abs on top. I'm gonna literally have like gestational diabetes. My. I already know.

I already know in my head because you know I am a psychic. I know that I'm not giving birth vaginally. No, I already know it. I legit know it. I know that we're going to plan for it and then I know right when I'm in there. What? Because your canal is too tiny. I know that the doctor's gonna be like,

your baby's head is way too big, we can't get it out. We have to do an emergency c-section, I already know. I already know. Your baby's ego is out of control already and it's gonna have to go through your butthole. And if it's Craig's baby, that baby will literally like walk out saying, I'm smarter than everyone here. Oh the doctor gonna figure out and get me out. Got myself out. Okay, doesn't my baby is gonna be so

sarcastic. Never shut the fuck up. Put that baby on Adderall. The second it comes out of me. It's gonna be like if I have a boy. Oh my God. Napar Getzi is like the funniest comedian and he just did a bit about how he has a girl He's like a girl dad. Yeah, and he's like she's a literal angel and he goes once I like watch my Friends boy because he had watched my girl once and he goes that's not an even trade This baby boy was a Ferrell this baby boy like a meeting He was like it was literally like,

he gave me through a bobcat in the room. And then like, swatched my son. He was like, I gave you a princess, like, who colors? And you gave me a literal bobcat. Yeah, he's great. His standup is great. So funny. The kids like hanging from the chandelier hiding under here.

I did baby sit one of my friends' babies once and I swear the second she left, the baby went straight for the power surge. Like, where you plug in, what is it called? The power. Pat the outlaw. Yeah, like, shard of things. I was like out of everything in the room.

Like, that's where you want to stick your fingers in. I, this might come as a shock to you, but I've literally never babysat anyone ever in my entire life. Like I've never, I've never been around a baby. Like I don't have, no, I'm not getting it. I'm not getting it. You've never made eye contact, I don't trust them, I don't like them, they're shifting.

I literally don't fucking trust them. I've never been around a baby, like the only time I was ever around a baby was like my cousins, but I was a legit baby, like I was like eight. Yeah. So, I've never, I've never baby sat, and I remember there was one time in high school There was this bakery like down the street from my house and I was going into like get something and the woman that own and I was in my school Uniform like I was in high school like I drove to this bakery and The woman that owns it was standing behind the counter and she goes, oh my god

Like you go to so-and-so high school like whatever we're chatting. She was like, do you buy any chance babysit? And I was so offended. You know, I'm on the cover of limited two right now. And I got in the car and I billboard of me in Times Square right now. I called my mom. $20 an hour to watch your kid cry. I called my mom and I was like, oh my God, this woman just asked me if I could, if I, like would babysit her kids, is that not so rude? And she was like, no page, normal girls in high school to make money, babysit children.

I was like, that's vile. Like, I don't wanna babysit your baby. Baby sitting, all kids is not equal because like some kids are so great. And then some are monsters monsters like my one friend Was babysitting once and was texting me like this kid just called me a slut like help Literally getting bullied my mom. What's the violent thing? I did when I was younger Not when I punched the kid in Carval but remember I did another thing we're talking about

You punch the getting the ice cream line what like square in the draw Okay, I can't remember and it's gonna annoy me You punch the gettin' the ice cream line? What like square in the draw? Okay, I can't remember and it's gonna annoy me. Oh, I remember, I wrote it down. When I was little, I was sassy. And I remember when you got told to go to your room. Yeah. I was definitely told to go to my room and I was trying to escape.

Like I was like these people are not gonna hold me down like I hate the house Like like you wanted to leave the house No, just escape my room. Yeah, okay, okay And my dad I have a literal vision like you know those memories We have as a kid that will just never I have a vision of him standing in front of me And I must have been like I'm gonna get away from this man. And I took my leg and I just kicked him in the nuts. I was like, and I kicked him in the nuts and he like, keeled over.

And I remember my mom running to me and being like, Hannah, you can't do that to men. This is horrible, but I remember being like, it's fucking easy. You just gotta kick him in the nuts. But I remember like her being like very strict with me. Like you can't just go around kicking men in the nuts. But honestly, we should do it more. That's the problem with our society.

We're taught not to kick men in the nuts. Don't teach girls not to kick men in the nuts. I genuinely wish I could feel what it feels like to be kicked in the nuts. Don't teach girls not to kick men in the nuts. I genuinely wish I could feel what it feels like to be kicked in the nuts because I just know that it does not compare. I know it doesn't compare to a UTI. I know that for damn sure. Oh for sure, because UTI is like a long extended

tortured pain. Getting kicked in the balls, I feel like they're more like in pain, but kind of like a kid who was more scared that it was going balls, I feel like they're more like in pain, but kind of like a kid who was more scared that it was gonna hurt more, like they're like, ah! And you're like, that's in her, right? And they're like, ah!

I feel like it's kind of like when you get the win knocked out of you. I think that is way more painful. I feel like it feels like a intense little stomach cramp. Yeah, I got the win knocked out of me this weekend actually. Craig made me jump off this fucking boat and like, and it looked like it didn't look as high as it like should have been. So as I jump and I'm mid-air like literally when I'm in the air I start to panic because I'm like I should have hit the water by and

That's when I scream You checking your watch No, I literally screamed at the last possible second and then when I came up from the water He jumped with me. I got the win-knocked out of me and it literally looked like I didn't know how to swim and And he and he was literally such a dad. He was like, are you okay? But I couldn't talk because I had the wind. And so I just, I'm going like this.

And he goes, you got the wind knocked out of you. It's okay, it's okay, nobody even noticed. You got scared because you thought you should've been in the water by now, didn't you? You're just a little scared. You got scared. It's gonna be okay, you're scared. Wait, so did you flop on your chest?

Like did you fall? No, like no. No, I fell in the middle. Because I'm like, you know how your hands are really long? I feel like the air got like, it slowed you down and then you accidentally hurt. I don't know. I'm glad you're okay.

That has happened to me before, where like in high school, somebody made me jump off a literal cliff And I I said flop and I broke literally every blood vessel in my thigh and my mom screamed at me for days She was like what did what about jumping off a cliff made you think you could do it? You're not on it. He was six four. No, he literally was so tall. He was six, four. And he said, I will get you. I said, thank you after. So, Mexico was just so traumatizing. I didn't poop for the entire time that I was there.

And then I literally got home. And the second I was in the comforts of my own home, it just flowed out of me. Like literal lava. This thing, your body and mind are so interconnected. And it's sick. Also, I just remembered another babysitting memory because I loved babysitting.

I love kids. I think there's so many fun. Okay, wait, so did you ever like babysit as like a side gig job, like when you were in high school or anything, like were you a babysitter? Page I babysit when I was working for Betches. No way. I'm getting paid no money.

Well, I was, this is the thing. I was teaching tennis, so I met a lot of these people and one of these women I really liked. And she was like, after work, I have this event. Can you just stay for four hours? And the kid was like 12. And I would just do work and chill in her fancy upper-reside apartment.

I got paid like 100 bucks. And I was like, cool. Wow, but it got to the point where him and his friends started Like kind of go through puberty We're like I could tell the day that he realized that was a girl. Yeah Like one day he was I was like hey, and he was like But once the cutest thing happened his friends were there and I was just like chilling and they were like Do you have any voice about how to be a good boyfriend? Stop. And I felt like I had so much power in this moment to change the future.

Other Americans have been. Yeah. I put on a full on to talk. Like I had a PowerPoint. I was like, at the bottom of the pyramid. On the right track. I go, this is what consent. I go, we do not gaslight in this house.

We do not gaslight. Josh, what is gaslighting? Wrong. Go give me 20 pushups. But once baby sat, I was babysitting Becca's cousin at her house, and we get in the pool. And I'm like, this is so fun. And the kid was like, let's play I'm drowning.

And I was like, let's play apps of fucking food. Oh my God, she's like, no, let's play I'm drowning. And then she like, dunks herself under. And she's like, help, I'm drowning. Like of fucking, oh my God, she's like, no, let's play, I'm drowning. And then she like, dunks herself under, and she's like, help, I'm drowning, like suffocating herself. And I'm like, where do these kids get these games? I'm like, I love your creed division, but you're gonna get Hannah and Trouple.

I think as a child, like, games are like, awkwardly sexual. Like, I don't, ever remember, like, I don't ever remember being like, let's play Doctor, but I know that like, at some point in remember being like, let's play doctor. But I know that like at some point in my life, someone wanted to play doctor. And I was like, you're a fucking weirdo. I mean, playing house is like, I loved playing house and like being the mom.

And now I'm like, that's just disgusting. Why wasn't I playing like podcast host? Like niche podcast world. I love your back and you didn't get kidnapped. I know. And then at the end of the trip, I'm going to be honest, I was getting on the plane and Craig was like, are you a little annoyed that no one even attempted? I was like, I think my mom hyped up my beauty a bit much on this trip. Cause she kept my mom kept texting me and was like, but think my mom hyped up my beauty a bit much on this trip. Because she kept my mom kept texting me and was like,

but like everywhere you go, people look at you because you're just so stunning. They're gonna spot you and literally take you right out of the bar. You're not even gonna be able to do anything. She was like, don't drink, don't get drunk. They'll know that you're, I'm like, who is they though? Like, you know, like who is following me? And are they getting my good size? Like, what?

No one even double, give you a double take. Like, you know, like, who is following me? And are they getting my good sides? Like, what? No one even double-gave you a double-take, and you're like, I'm like, I'm like going through costumes leaving Mexico. I'm like, okay, let the jig is up. Like, it's like when you see a construction site full of men and you're like, ugh, they're gonna fucking say something to me. And then you walk through and they don't say anything. They're like on their phone.

I'm like, whatever. And you go, wow, wow, my outfit was not good. Oh my god. Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad that Kim is looking out as always. My mom is always looking out as well. My mom did the most mom thing ever. Yeah, well, was it? We're watching the Super Bowl.

They have like the explosion ever when celebrating. And you know how there's like hundreds of thousands of confetti and she goes, that is gonna be so hard to clean up. That is, that never went through my mind once. And as a mom, she's like, I mean the vacuum, they're gonna have to use the dice in. The dice is so neat for moms.

They're like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to never be an Italian mom, you know what I would never be in a Italian mom. Yeah. So such an Italian mom thing. So I'm not trying to act like I am Barbara Walters, a rest in peace, but I was in California coming home from my show in San Diego. In the bathroom, take off my makeup, taking a shit, who knows what I'm doing,

put up my phone four minutes ago, Megan Fox had posted, like I was on the ground floor. She said like you, your breath smells like dishonesty or something. And then there were like only like 100 comments. And everyone was like, look who she's following. She only followed Eminem Timothy Schumann and Harry Styles, which is hilarious. Would you know? Just from that first of all, I live for a petty bitch. I'm a man of hairy styles, which is hilarious. You're gonna tell. Would you know?

Just from that first of all, I live for a petty bitch. I feel like I can love when people air their dirty laundry on Instagram, it's my favorite. But you know that in some capacity, they have had a couple fight about the said men. A thousand percent, because they're the generic hot guys. You know, they were just sitting on the couch and machine gun Kelly was like

Do you think her stiles is hot and she was like yeah, and he's like He's like The Wisdresses and she's like yeah, and he's like what the fuck bro? You think my style is better than Harry Styles, and she's like no, and he's like for the fuck You know the men that your husband are there not even married that your boyfriend is insecure about and to follow only them. Imagine your boyfriend being jealous of Timothy Chevrolet. But then I was looking on Du Mois and Du Mois was like, they're not broken up, they just got into a fight and then she deleted all their pictures together.

But I just feel like it was a pretty heavy, like, for one fight, I feel like it was pretty intense to go on Instagram and literally delete every single picture. So I thought it was weird that when I was watching the Oscars or not Oscars the Grammys I was on the ground floor again I was watching it live and it said in the lower third Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are up next for an interview. And then just Machine Gun Kelly showed up and she was just standing watching. And you know what, there's just something else. Oh, she was doing the interview and then she was standing off to the side.

Off to the side, like she didn't do it with him. And even Lever and Cox was like, are you gonna, is Megan Fox gonna come? Because we only care about her. Right. And he was like, no. And then he just was like so weird during the interview. What is it? Okay, my, is that a Valentine's Day gift? My dad got my mom champagne. Does he know it's not Valentine's Day? Where do you think I get the lack of admin from? Wait, he sent her one champagne and chocolates to our tellroom. Oh my God. February 13th because he's not the sharpest tool in the shed but he tried A for effort. He wanted to be early. Anyway, I thought that interview

was weird and I thought like they're going through something but like pretty impulsive for A globally famous person to do. Yeah, it's not it's not giving mental Stability it's not at all But were they ever giving stability is the question and then I like set it out loud and Craig go I was like oh my god And then I like set it out loud and Craig go. I was like, oh my god, Michigan Kelly and Magnbach's broke up. And he was like, yeah, obviously.

I told you that they were gonna break up, which he did actually tell me after the post. Remember they like posted like some table or something in the like Instagram comments? It was like, remember when we had sex on that table? Yeah. It's like a couple months ago when Craig was like, they're gonna break up. Nobody who like talks about having sex on a table, like actually had sex on the table.

Some weird conspiracy theory that, yes. It's like a fight club. If you talk about having sex on the table, you don't get invited to have sex on the table. So Craig psychic? I guess. Now, you want to talk about me. I want to talk shit so bad. OK, I'm ready.

I'm going to say an unpopular opinion or not. I'm not sure I haven't tested the waters. I don't think the Super Bowl was like half time was like that good. Like everyone was like, oh my god, it was groundbreaking. She was amazing. I think she's the coolest person on the planet, but like, in her coming out pregnant was like very nice,

but like when I watch my Super Bowl half time shows, I want a dance number, I want a dance routine, I want steps, I want them counting. She, I mean, so the pregnant community is gonna come for you. Okay, but the pregnant community would be like, come on, we just got out of, we were trying to get out of like minimal things

and you just did the Super Bowl and you just made it really hard for us to get out of it. We're fighting for maternity leave and you're not helping, Rian. I also just thought last year's Super Bowl performance was so good. And then this year I also just thought last year's Super Bowl performance was so good. And then this year, I was just like, okay, she literally walked around the whole time.

This was so embarrassing. Who was it last year? It was like everyone. It was like 50 Cent, Mary J. Blatt, Steve Dog, Eminem. I mean, the whole crowd. Eminem, Megan Fox's future husband. This is the thing.

I kind of get where she's coming from where it's like, you can't compete with us here. So she was like, I'm gonna do simple, stunning, powerful, iconic. I just felt like she was like annoyed too. She was like, you guys asked for me, you kept asking for me to do it, I'm here, I'm doing it. Like, that would be-

The new year times wrote an article, and I actually mean the New York Times. I got a'm doing it. That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be-

That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be-

That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- That would be- of these stories. Obviously, she was all over the news and everything. I had so many TikToks just about Rihanna in general. I kept seeing all of these stories about how she hates Kendall Jenner. I actually want to look up how old, no.

I want to look up how old Rihanna is. I'll Google Kendall Jenner. Yeah, I'll look at that. We're on producers. OK, she's 34. Kendall Jenner. Yeah, look at that. We're on producers. Kendall Jenner. Okay, she's 34. Kendall's 27. Okay, what is that? Seven.

Seven years. I mean, I thought with people older than seven years in a house before. Okay, right. That's what I'm... Okay. Thank you so much for that segue. So everybody says that the fight originated when Kendall Jenner tweeted at like a mere 16 years old I can't wait for the Rihanna concert tonight if she doesn't play

So-and-so song like I'll be so upset Rihanna tweeted back at her and said then don't come See is that real or was that a made-up meme? But Rihanna was wild on Twitter back in the day I remember and I just feel like if I saw a girl that was seven years younger than me I wouldn't even be able to make up beef with her oh so wait you're like kind of not vibing with Rihanna I'm kind of not vibing with Rihanna I told you it was an unpopular but like but sometimes But sometimes I feel like celebrities get weird with the Kardashians. Like was that a time where everyone hated the Kardashians? Totally.

Totally. You can hate the Kardashians, but you're gonna pay. You should not sell the clothes. The one that's a teenager to have the most beef with. Who's like a massive fan of you. So I don't vibe with that. I didn't vibe with the performance. I felt like she just walked around.

I felt like she was practicing for the Super Bowl. Like she was like marking where she was supposed to be standing like her steps. Like, okay, and then we go here and then we do this and we do a little. And then like. So she's known for like not ever fully committing to a dance move.

Like that's her thing. Like she half-ass is every dance move and that's like her aesthetic. Okay, well, it just wasn't doing it for me. So you're saying when it was playing, you're vagina didn't tingle at all. Like you did not get a little hype. I mean, I think her music is amazing and I've got to say that. I cried when a braille started. Okay, I...

No, I mean, I think her songs are iconic and it always reminds me of like that time in my life of like whatever song is playing. But I'm not tweeting that was the best half-time performance I've ever seen. It was. I agree with that. I mean, I wanted like, when Shakira and JLo did it,

I mean, it was dance move after dance move, they were sweating, they weren't't like I wanted to see a little JLo did go on the top of a stripper pull and like You know those those Barbie dolls that you like pull the fairies when we were little and you'd be out and it would just be That is JLo. She is one of those things and then there are always like so many different outfit changes and stuff We have a one, one outfit. But then there were like all these old white guys being like, that's how a half time show should be.

We don't need all this skin and all this ridiculous gyrating. And I'm like, okay, first of all, you're the guys who want all the skin in the first place. So calm down. I think it was a good celebration of like her career, kind of being like, oh, you give me 12 minutes. I'm going to give you 12 songs and it's not even close to all my greatest hits and I'm going to show them off for you.

I mean, if we're getting picky, I was really into the TikTok girlies being like, this is what Rian is going to do. And the predict is how she's, yeah, this girl's like, she's going to be like, shine bright, like a diamond and pause. Yeah. Lies down down and she'd be like Like a diamond stop and light and they were like and I was like so fucking into it I was so I had my money was a good start, but I actually I don't know think about it Like there's so many ways to do it and some some person was sitting behind a computer

I was like okay, how do I fuck with all of her music to make it as iconic as possible? I think she sounded great like some people say live and you're like, okay, how do I fuck with all of her music to make it as iconic as possible? I think she sounded great. Like some people say why I have a new like, um. Was she singing? Was she silenced? Was she silenced? Was she singing or was she singing along? Wait, I'm obsessed with your, you have a gopah-rayana beef.

I have beef with Rihanna. I just, I'm gonna be honest. I feel like as I get older and older, I am, I pick up on energy. And every time I like, she's on my Instagram or on my TV, I don't get the best energy from her. Well, I love what, when you take a strong stance like this, I see, I fuck with, I just think she's very powerful and swaggy, and she's just like a billionaire.

And like, she gives me mean girl vibes. Like she gives me vibes that like if you walked into a party, she would look you up and down and go, like, that's the vibe she gives away. I never imagined I'd walk into a party and she'd be there. We now live in the same room. Like, I think for feminism, you have to bring feminism into it. Okay, I'm pro-Riana, you're not Riana. And we'll see where this takes us.

Yeah, I want to know what the gigaloo's thing. I want to know if they are like we die for Rihanna, like, showed up page, or if they're like, yeah, I didn't really vibe with the half-time show as much as everyone was like, that was amazing. I did think it was interesting that she's decided to kind of like quickly pop out two babies as some would say, ASAP. ASAP Rocky, yeah, ASAP Rocky. Some would say, ASAP. ASAP Rocky, yeah. ASAP Rocky. In case you didn't get that one.

And Irish twin. Yeah, but it's interesting, like, a woman in your career, an entertainment that tours, or it's about what you look like, one to decide, one to have kids. Right, if I get pregnant right after I've just given birth, I will literally lose my mind.

That must be so taxing on your body. And like, or your vagina's already like been opened. I feel like the second one, you could like, it could come out in a strong poop. It could walk out. Yeah. It could be like, just falls right now. Just falls down, says, hey mom, I'm ready for school.

Mom, is the second one easier when you have a baby? She said it was faster. Yeah, she literally just went to the bathroom and he found it to the- My mom had two C sections, which just is so long. They have a bright, so I'm brand for her. Look at the bright. Do you know what's on brand for my mom?

She like didn't even get a- After all, are you kidding me, Lenore? She's like, she wants to be hero. I want all the drugs. I'm not gonna be hero. I want all the drugs. I could see Lenore even like contemplating with the, if Lenore was having a baby today,

I could see Lenore contemplating with the idea of like, what is a water birth? My mom's like giving a little bit almond mom. She's like, I had to be an almond mom to myself the other day. What'd you do? Because like you ever get those days where you're just like, you crave like a lot of chocolate or like, you're not a huge candy person though.

I'll crave like cheeseburgers. Yeah, see like I will crave more sweets. And I just like, I was like, I'm gonna literally make myself a diabetic sometimes because like I'll just drink all the soda and eat all the candy. And I had to have a stern talking to myself and just be like, eat it fucking almond.

Just keep it bitch. I do think everyone has a little almond mom voice in the background. It's just sometimes she's louder than others. Yeah. I'll curse that bitch out. I'll be like, it's not about you today. I'm tired.

Right. Did you see that? She might have not been paid. Really? To do the Super Bowl? I don't see Rihanna doing anything and not getting paid. I don't think. No way.

Well, she's a billionaire. Obviously, I have so much admiration for her. Like, I think she is extremely talented. She's had longevity in her career. She's a fucking super rich. She's obviously smart. She has a makeup lunch. She has a laundry railing. Like she's, but I just, I don't get great energy from her. And let, like, let me remind you, know as a complete sentence. So how do I feel about Rihanna? No. Do you like her and ASAP?

Yeah, I do. I actually do like them as a couple. There was a video of him filming her dream performance and I sent it to Diz and I was like, manifest this for you. Yeah, I think they're probably, their kids are probably very cute. Anyway, anything going on with Fashion Week? Because as our fashion correspondent? Oh my gosh, okay. Have you been seeing those TikToks where all the influencers are like,

I'm going to events and everybody's named to me. And everybody asked me what show I went to and blah, blah, blah. Like, yeah, there's all these TikToks of girls just being influencers or the fucking worse, which I'm not on the opposing side of that. The way I feel about Fashion Week, like in theory, I think that Fashion Week is like the coolest thing ever. By no means do I think that I should be invited to certain shows and sit front row

because I'm an influencer? Like I don't even really like using that word. Like I don't feel like an influencer. I mean, you're a journalist. Right, I'm a hardcore journalist. But I think that it really is such a cool thing to be invited to. And I'm always very excited if I get invited to anything cool. But I really do think that Fashion Week is for the designers.

It's for if you work at Vogue. Once the influencers get involved, not that they shouldn't be there, but they make it high school. Yeah. Because the designers and the press, they get invited because obviously it's their jobs, but influencers get invited based on status. And status is very subjective. Exactly. People with like not a lot of followers will know someone and they get in and then they get the free dress. And it's And it gives very high school vibes.

And I think that's why some people have bad experiences because you're hobnobbing with people who are doing things just for status, not for the love of the game. The fact that I, right, not for the love of the game. So like if I don't get invited to like certain fashion shows, I'm not like butt hurt about it. And also I'm not an influencer girlie

that's going to the dinners. Like that is my work. Do you have to put your time into these dinners to get into some of these dinners? I don't know. I don't know. I would not be caught dead at one of the influencer dinners that they're like, we're not working, we're not working.

I don't want to sit next to somebody. I don't know. That is my own personal hell of of making small talk for 45 minutes. And then have to go around and say a fun fact about yourself. No, I went to one influencer dinner situation maybe like a year ago. And it was fine, but I walked out. I was the first to leave. But I walked out and I was like, this is why I don't go to these things because I don't like them.

But also Paige, some of these people are full-time influencers. Right. Some people, their job is to create their own content and go to events. Right. Which I totally get. So when it's your job, I totally would get that, but for me, I'm doing stand-up and I can't go to a dinner.

And some people get energy from people and they like socializing and I'm fucking jealous. No, I wish that people brought me energy instead of sucking the living life out of me. When at this wedding weekend, like the last night, one of the girls texted me because they were all like hanging out at one of the villas and she goes, she was so nice.

She was like, oh my God, like I wish you were here like for the last night and I go honestly, I'm socialized out. Like I've put in four days of socializing, I couldn't, I would never be able to come to this last event. I literally, when they say like you've hit the bottom of the, whatever. Like I had hit a wall.

Like I lose all my, like my personality's done. I'm just a shout out myself. I'm just saying generic things that I heard people say before. Like, I'm not, I have nothing to give. And then I have to be alone and like get bored with myself to like eventually be put back into the universe. And obviously I love, I love Fashion Week because I like seeing, obviously I like watching

the runway shows. I don't give a shit who's there and who's not. I will literally watch the runway shows. I don't give a shit who's there and who's not. I will literally watch the runway shows on like, an Instagram account that shows like the actual models walking down the runway. Because I do like to see like, oh, what are the trends that I'm like, kind of gonna wanna wear next fall?

Or like, what are these new clothes that I'm gonna be interested in? It's like playing, it's like being little and playing dress up at like a larger adult scale. So like that's why I like it. If I don't go to certain things or don't get invited, I'm not like, oh my God, like I'm not in the fashion world. I don't feel like if you really wanted to, you could get invited to all of it.

No, I did get invited to a lot of things, but I, like, I feel like, but I, you should be invited. But I didn't feel guilty for like, skipping it and going to Mexico, like, with my boyfriend. Like, I didn't shit for four days. But like, yeah, I didn't feel like, oh, my God, I have to be at Fashion Week or else, I'm like, dead. Look, there's some New York City influencers that are fucking amazing. Yeah. And, for sure. Like, cool

and smart. And then there's some that just are not. I went to an influencer event one time and some girl looked me dead in the face, dead in the eye and said, ew, I would never go on reality TV. And I said back to her, thank you. I said, thank you. I was like, I don't know what to say to that. Oh, yeah, I've had I've literally, I had someone literally be like, oh yeah, they asked me to go on your show and I was like, I would never. I was like, thank you. I'd like, what do you want me to say back to it? Like I said, okay, thank you so much.

I am literally up to go. But do you remember when Alex Earl, like before she blew up, she was doing well, but she had this early video, like I went to LA and all the influences are so mean. Yeah. And then like a couple of weeks ago, she was like, guys, I went to LA and all the influencers are so mean. Yeah. And then like a couple weeks ago, she was like, guys, I went to LA

and like I had such a better experience. Yeah, bitch, because you're famous now. Yeah. When you're hot, you walk in, every influencer is sucking your dick, wants to do a TikTok with you, wants to talk to you. I also feel like sometimes I'm like dead inside. I mean, I know I'm dead inside,

but like, something I would say, I'd, like, we do these things, and nothing really impresses me. Like, I, look, if I met Alex Earl, would I be like, so, like, oh my God, it's so nice to meet you. Yes, because in my eyes, she's a literal bebe. She's 22 years old, like, but I'm not like,

oh my God, I got a comment on Alex Earl's TikTok. Like, no, what the fuck am I, what are you doing here, Ariana? Like, I have one other niche small thing that happened on the Mexico trip that I was like, I have to remember to tell Hannah this. I was listening to Craig talk to one of his guy friends about our podcast. Okay. Now, keep in mind these are Southern men, so they they're not right in the head and one of the guys goes Oh, so like she has a podcast with her friend like is it funny? They're passing the back to the test. We love that and I yours perked up and

And I hear Craig go yeah, it's actually really funny and he goes but her her friend is a stand-up comedian and he goes Oh like is she funny for guys though? And I was literally in my head. I was like, this motherfucker. And he goes, I know what you mean. And yeah, she is really funny. Like, they're like really funny together and like funny on their own.

Like, I laugh all the time. And I turned around to like see if he saw me listening and He didn't but first of all Craig. Thank you for being a feminist icon Second of all it is crazy. It's 2023. I just performed at a college and the girls they have this like event Committee that decides who comes to perform at the college and the girls were like do you know hard? It was to get the committee were like, do you know how hard it was to get the committee to agree to have you perform

because it's mostly like a lot of guys. And I was like, the men must be stopped. It's 2023, what are they trying to say? And like obviously all the girls showed up. But now all these guys are coming to my standup shows because the girls are bringing their boyfriends because they want me to shoot on their boyfriends, which is creating such an

amazing beautiful moment. And then the guys are now telling their guy friends about it. And next you know guys are like, wait, like now guys are like when I get stopped I'm in on the street at first I'm scared. Then I'm flattered. But like I think guys would think Giggly Squad is funny too. When guy was like so all so you at your live shows like he just shit on guys like 90% of the time and I I like I waited a second to answer and I go um yeah pretty much and it's funny like because you guys suck and he was like oh Okay, I Love leaning in like I love leaning in like yeah, we just leaning in. It's like, yeah, we just talk about our periods. And it gets pretty dark.

It's just about menstruation and like being pregnant together and just like. Do you know the amount of gigglers who like come to the shows with their boyfriends? And we assume the boyfriends are gonna be like, like, I didn't even want to come. And the guy will be like listening off our inside jokes. Like that's when I'm like, marry this man. Because he's listening to, like he's in the car listening like marry those men for the giglers listening for the men listening right now I'm not talking about the gaze the gaze your purpose are in their own iconic

Box the gaze we don't compete for the straight men who happen to be listening we see you we hear you Yeah, we don't stand with you, but we see you and we hear you. We do not. And I would never say that publicly, this in public, and I would say I lied if you told anyone this, but we love you, we're here for you. But yeah, there is a specific thing in life, page where there's a certain type of man

that hates funny women. Hates, hates. And I've dealt with them before. And you're like, I think it is. And what do you think it is? Everything I can do to mend this friendship. And they, because if you have the ability to make someone laugh,

that's actually really powerful. I know. Because you can basically like control the temperature in a room. And, but like But like also there's certain men they hate anyone who's funny. Yeah, it's their own insecurities sometimes I don't want any men to like me ever You know, you know who was gonna steal me in Mexico. I'm a man Well, that's the thing. It's like so our are number one predators or the things we're most attracted to. Disgusting, so gross.

How fucked up is the world? And then on my TikTok algorithm, I kept getting women that were like almost abducted in like Vegas. And I was just getting like the craziest stories. And I was like, oh my God, stop. If I could see you on one, reality TV show, it would be surviving.

Because I feel like you're just, I feel like I was on. I feel like I was on. I feel like I was on. I feel like I was on. Me trying to poop with Craig literally four feet away. I was like, I am on naked and afraid. Like, what?

Why didn't you just leave the room? There was nowhere to go. There was nowhere to go. There was nowhere to go. Where was he going? I can't even pray. I can't even pray. This is me every time I'm about to have sex. I can't even pray.

We are out of time. I want you guys to make sure you're watching the last of us and there's a new documentary on Hulu about the Sarah Lawrence cult. I'd like you to watch the college, the father of one of the daughters, basically got in with a friend group in the college and got them to move into his house in Manhattan. And like, oh my God, I can't wait to have that. And they have crazy footage. It's pretty dark.

Okay, great. It's pretty dark. You, great. Pretty dark. You guys, we love you so much. We're going to Nashville. We're going to Texas. Get your fucking tickets because I do not want to get the M. It's me like Hannah, can you please get me in? Can you like hide me in your luggage?

Like, no, get the tickets now. So you don't have to like bribe. Yep. And yeah. And thanks for giggling with us. We're on. Bye. Bye!