Giggly Squad - Giggling about our icks, evil eyes, and potato socks

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

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What's up my giggly piglies? That's a good one. You're so mean. Why? I'm being serious. See, that's what's wrong with people. I say something and they're immediately like that's like no way that came out of your mouth in nice way. Whenever you're nice, I get uncomfortable. So even when I try to be nice, people are like, no. I'm like, all right, okay then. I've been doing this new thing where people ask my age, I say I'm 30 and like 16 months. Like a baby. Literally like an annoying mom who's like my baby. 87 months right now. Wouldn't it be funny if someone asked your age

and you're like, I'm 872 months. What about it? 42 hours. Six minutes. Yeah, you're a fresh 30. You just popped out. Yeah, I'm one month actually. Today, I'm one month 30.

Well, I realized I was one month 30 when actually this past this weekend I was at a bar Which it wasn't even the craziest part. I was at a bar. Did you get lost? And I will first I had to go bridesmaids dress shopping with one of my girlfriends and all her bridesmaids Then we went to brunch then we went to a bar then we went to another bar Okay, that's a full bachelor of art. No, I had a full bachelor. We started at 11 a.m. I got home at like four. But when I was standing in the bar, I realized that I have this weird,

like once I get it, once it happens upon me, that I can leave, like I can go home. I have to immediately go. So like I turned to Craig and I was like, I gotta go. And he was like, okay, like in like 15 minutes and I was like, nope, I have to go now. And I just literally darted away and I get an Uber and then he's like running out of the bar

being like, I had to close my tab. Why are you always trying to leave? And I was like, I'm not trying to leave you. But you know the address. Like when I feel like I have to get out, I have to get out. It was like I was in labor. No, you left Craig for dead.

With like my friends. You're like, I don't know. Get your card tomorrow. We're leaving. Like a normal person. Forget your card at the bar like a normal person. I have to go. And then I was supposed to, I get home,

I make Craig walk across the street, get Chick-fil-A, when he gets up to the apartment, I'm already in my gym, he's on the couch ready to eat. He said I had one hour to sleep, and then we had to go somewhere else. In my head, right before I'm falling asleep, I'm like, no fucking way, am I going? I hate when my significant other tells me I have to do anything. Like, I could be ready to wake up and he goes, you should get up. Sorry, now I need to be in bed for another four hours.

Yeah, it was just like, as I'm falling asleep peacefully, I'm like, I'm not going anywhere tonight. I wake up. I don't even really fully open my eyes. He looks at me and he goes, you don't have to come if you don't want to. And I go, yay! And then I stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Where does he get his energy from? I have no idea. I was like, your crazy. I was like, I did something in the daytime. I can't then do something at the night time. What am I? A Sprite 24?

I don't get out of here. That's when you go, I'm 30 and a month. It felt so 32 because then he left. And at about 8.30, I felt good. So I like got up, cleaned my kitchen, got my room ready for bed, made my list of what I wanted to get accomplished on my Sunday. Let two candles, bitch.

Turned my Christmas lights on. I was like, this is so nice. You unfortunately like you have a lot of good things going on in your life, but God had to balance it out and give you a boyfriend who likes activities. It's so weird. You have to like call other people and set up play dates for him so he's tired by the time he hangs out with you. That's why I'm with the guy in his 40s.

That man is exhausted. I literally sent him out with Sierra. It was like, Sierra's out. She'll play with you, Connor. It's okay. Speaking of fast food, I have a gig-lar story. I was downtown in the financial district, also known as FIDI for the kids. I'm just standing on a corner in front of Taco Bell. And I'm like, I look kind of shady, I think.

And a girl runs up to me and she goes, hey, I'm a gig-lar, I love your podcast. And I'm like, oh my god, thank you. And she goes, what are you doing? And I go, honestly, I'm sitting outside this Taco Bell trying to say if I should get Taco Bell. You know when you're just looking at it and you're like, this day could go two ways. Yeah. I could be the epitome of health. Wait, was that yesterday? When was that?

It was two or three days ago. It was Friday. Oh, okay. Interesting. Because I had a Taco Bell conundrum myself this past weekend which is just so funny. I just said I don't know if I should go Taco Bell or not. It was like 3 p.m. It definitely wasn't lunch or dinner and she looks to me and she goes, bitch you get that gordita crunch wrap and I said absolutely and I don't even say goodbye I just walk into that. That you

wanted to what Taco Bell is great for? Your high cholesterol. That was mean. That was mean to bring up something that we all are sensitive about right now. We're all worried about me. And you think it's a joke to bring up my high cholesterol. My fucking heart can barely beat with the level of saturated fat that's inside me right now. And you think it's funny. I, Hannah's been doing this new thing that like anything she sees about a Scorpio online, like that's so evil, she just sends it to me. And yesterday the meme of the day was literally like Scorpio's love revenge.

And I sat there and I looked at it and I was like genuinely, I don't think there's anything I love more in the world than someone who deserves bad karma and like that I get to watch them receive it. I fucking love revenge. And the thing about a town in revenge, we don't care how long it takes. It can take 35 years. I'll wait. I'll wait that shit out. I have all the time in the world.

I have all the time in the world. Sometimes I look at something, I'm like this is gonna take a while, but you know what? Revenge is a dish served cold. If you hear me on the phone with my mom and you hear the words, don't worry, she'll get hers. Be fucking scared. Be fucking for real. Because that, we mean it. Like, we're not worried. You, it will come to you. And when it says, we will watch.

In my intensive therapy, I have learned that you can, you can, you can try to like get revenge on people. But that, like God's work is always way fucking more intricate and better than you can ever try to plan yourself. You sit back and you see what creative shit the universe has for these people who have hurt you. Just you sit back and it could be until you're 90. It could be in heaven.

Oh wait. I have so many exploit-boyfriend who are bald. And I feel like I did that. I brought that upon them. I said, do you want to be mean to me? Watch your hairline, Rissy. How many hairlines are receding because of PagerSorbo? They call it the colloquial.

You put the colloquial on? That's like a Sicilian. No, that's colloquial. You put the colloquial on. That's like a Sicilian. No, that's colloquial. What's colloquial? Is it colloquial? Like a... That's an STD. Wait, I'm dying. I'm googling colloquial. It's like schooling. How do you spell colloquial is like schooling Colloquial how do you spell colloquial? Pinocchio

Colloquial is used in ordinary or familiar conversation not formal or literal. Okay, it's one of the feel and every day language You're thinking of like you're thinking of the Italian thing is like the Maloch isn't it? Malochial no Whatever is like the Maloic, isn't it? Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- or Malo- Malo- Malo- Malo- or Malo- Malo- or Malo- or Malo- or Malo- Malo- Malo- or Malo- or Malo-

Malo- Malo- Malo- or Whatever. It's- It's- It's- It's- It's- It's- It's- It's- It's- ItA-L-O-C-C-H-I-O. Sicilian Americans have been raised to believe in the powers of the Malo-K-O. I don't think you're saying it correctly, but yes. Yeah. Oh, God.

Anyway. So we wish the best for everyone. Unless you fucking deserve bad, then we have nothing to do with that. And that you did that to yourself. Did you see my TikTok where I put potatoes in my socks? You what? Did you see my TikTok where I put potatoes in my socks? I didn't.

Okay, well, I kept seeing this like a viral take talk where people were like, if you don't feel well, put potatoes in your socks and sleep with them in your socks. So what did I do? Well, you're wearing it? Yes. Okay, so you're sleeping with tape over your mouth, potatoes in your sock,

patrol jelly on your face. I stopped sleeping with tape over my mouth because my mom told me to stop, so I stopped yelling on your face. I stopped sleeping with tape over my mouth because my mom told me to stop so I stopped. Why? She was like, if someone comes in you can't yell! There were all these articles about how you can have a stroll. She was like, please stop. Just like work out once in a while and eat a fruit.

It's enough. You're always trying to. It's true at the end of the day. It's like, what do people do back in the day? I mean, they did only live till 25, but they weren't taping their mouths. Yeah, she was like, if you didn't live like a psychopath trying to like cut the system and drink a fucking green juice once in a while, you wouldn't feel the need to do.

Tabermouth. What was I saying? the potato in your feet? Potatoes in my socks people were so mad at me on take talk there like first of all this bus speed onion second of all You're disgusting and I was like okay. Well obviously we have a different take-tack algorithm What is this like to prevent vampires from coming in your room? from coming in your room? Oh, that's garlic. That's garlic. So you cut two slices, leave them out overnight,

like on the counter, because they oxidize, so they obviously get like a little brown. And then the other ones in your socks are supposed to pull toxins from the bottom of your feet. I mean, some people that were really sick, like they took them out of their socks and they were full on black. Mine weren't that dark, but I wasn't like that sick. So I think it works.

Did you feel better? I felt okay. I didn't feel like, oh my god, I feel so much better. But like I was sick, like three days prior to that, like I was on the mend. So I don't know. I should have done it like when I was like fully in gibbess. Kigler's don't put spuds in your socks. Unless he wants to. Don't want to. Unless you want to try it.

I have, I don't need it. I might try the onion tonight. Craig is gonna be like, what is that? Horrific smell. Ha ha ha ha. He is used to me doing weird things before bad. Next episode, do you know what we have to do? We have to tell each other, or X, of each other. Oh.

I feel like I could do it right now. Okay, it's too early. Like, I don't feel like I have to think, or like, write them down. I'll do it right if I can help. Okay, one of my X is that... One of my X is that if you have to fart, no matter where we are,

and it's life or death, we could be in a crowded room and you have to do it. You'll just do it. And that puts me in a really uncomfortable position sometimes because I know it's you. Okay, you want me to hold it in and possibly die? You want to hold the toxins inside me? I don't need a pot- maybe if you farted more you want to put potatoes under your fucking feet.

Okay now you do won't prove it. Okay this one's obvious my biggest thing about you is- I don't think it's obvious. It's a- most people when they're around animals they feel joy but you fat shame your own dog and make it insecure about how it looks That's so not true that's so not true, but okay, I'll take it One of my ex for you is that like I will tell you that I'm ordering food and I will be like Hey, I'm getting this do you want me to also get you this and you're like no, I'm getting this. Do you want me to also get you this? And you're like, no, I'm not really that hungry.

And then like if I walk away from my food for a half a millisecond, you will have devoured it, completely finished it. And then like, I think now I'll order my own. You will use my leftovers as an appetizer. Okay, my biggest thing about you is you'll look at the menu and order the most unhealthy like amazing tasting thing. Somehow only have four bites and then leave it in front of me as if knowing that I'm not

going to have to eat it. Because if the friend of me I have to eat it. I tempt you and test you. You're literally trying to turn me into your fat dog. I'm so irresponsible for your high cholesterol. You will order nachos, have two bites and be like, I'm so full and then I'm like, well, to the face.

Wow, that is so true. I think that's all I really had. I'll think of some more for next time. But those are the top of the top of my head. I have another one. Okay. My biggest thing about you is that when you get a pimple you make it your whole personality. Like you literally can't do anything without mentioning it, touching it, or talking about how you're gonna fix it, and I'm like,

there needs to be more going on in the world than you're going to. That's, that was a really good one because that's so true. I have another Rick. Oh my god! What is this one? Okay, whenever you're making a point, you have to like, you literally take out your like, your finger, which is like so abnormally long and skinny that like everyone the room is like is she gonna Stab someone and I'm like no she's just making like a basic point but you do it and the finger

The finger has like a full life of its own Full mind of its own zip code own thoughts. I'm really just relaying my fingers thoughts on Situation you're really just a finger with an outfit attached to it. Oh God. Anyway, this is like an appropriate and so random. This reminds me of can you explain what soaking is what the Mormons do? I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Oh, yes, I've been waiting for you to bring this up. It's this thing, Mormons do, so they basically can have sex without having sex. Oh, wow, what is that?

I can't believe we haven't talked about it on the pod. Soaking, also known as marinating or floating, is a sexual practice of inserting the penis into the vagina, but not thrusting. No, that's some sick foreplay. Mormons are freaky! But then apparently do this thing where like they're on the bed, I hate that it's called soaking. And they're soaking and then someone can move the bed underneath them so that they move as long as they're not the one moving it. Look, I thought P and the V met sex. I didn't know that thrusting was what had to happen. I mean, I guess I do so again when I'm really tired.

But that's just moving lazy. Some woman wrote that in the Mormon church who's like, here's what we do. We just tell them. That we have to lay there. And put it in and we're good, bro. We're good. You can convince the men to do anything if you just make them think it was their idea. When I first lost my virginity, I don't think I really lost it because he kind of put it in and I was like, ow.

Yeah, and you're like, I didn't know if I lost my virgin Virginia or not because he definitely didn't break my high men. I think mine had already been broken. I learned to ride a bike when I was little. Like thing like, for no, he definitely, I remember he kind of put it in, I was like, oh, and then the next day I was like, I lost my Virginia. Yeah, you're just like, I'm probably never gonna do that again. That was painful.

And he definitely did not have a big dick. Not at all. And I was like, I like never used a tampon. I was still using pads. That's how you know you were too young to have sex. We had never even put tampons in. Do you remember how scared you were of a tampon? Like, I was like, that has to go in me.

Now I'll shove like seven in me. Yeah. I'll be like seven in me I'd be like I dare you to try and leave just a pale something Oh, yeah, we have to update you page and I am very Anton and I tamp on lately just coincidentally I'm I hate tampons. I refuse honestly. I'm doing a suppression No, I think it's fighting the patriarchy. I'm not plugging my fucking bodily fluids from coming out. Also, I just feel like it's not good for you.

If it has to come out, let it come out. Yeah, I feel like it's 2022 and we're so shoving a hefty cotton ball up our pus. Like, I'm done. I don't want to do it anymore. I will get my period and just wear black granny panties from Amazon and just let my free Clyde fly. I've been literally like wearing pads.

You're wearing pads? I've been wearing like the panty liner ones because I'm just like I'm not doing a tampon because my, since I've been on birth control, my period is not nearly as heavy as it like used to be. So like, I would have to change my tampon so much during the day. Now like, I really don't have to,

if I like, I could keep one in for a day, even though like you're not supposed to do that. So I'm like, okay, I'm not like leaking all over. So like, I'm just not wearing one and like, it's true, it makes me feel like badass. He kind of dies. I always say this to Kragony, always gets like, not grossed out, but he just like, stop.

I'm like, isn't it crazy that we can bleed for seven days? We just don't die. And he's like, it's not like a real blood though. I was like, what is it? Then what is it? It's not real blood. I'm like, it's not fake blood. Like, I's not real blood. I'm like it's not fake blood. Like, oh it's not real blood? Okay, taste it. Tell me if that isn't pure iron, bitch.

Go down on me now then. Pure iron. What the fuck? No, it's more than real blood. It gets like chunky. Couldn't be more real. It's from inside becoming our outsides. Oh, you got a paper cut once. That is some like amateur blood. No, I... This blood has like goo. Yeah, this blood is depth to it. I'm also on a TikTok algorithm of like fucked up things that happen to you. That can

happen to you like on your period. That's a weird one too that I didn't ask for. Some girl lost her whole literal uterus. What like literally like pooped it out. And it can happen like, if it happens to you once in your life, it'll never happen to you again. I think I pooped out my uterus earlier today. But that was just cause I had coffee in a bacon egg and cheese. No and she said it literally came out in a triangle.

Are you sure it wasn't just a worm? Speaking of that, where are we on Parasite Cleansing? Okay, so you know, we talk on Gingeswad and then we see what the giglers have to say about the episode. I had like one person say that they had a good experience, but then I had a lot of doctors say like they'll kill good experience, but then I had a lot of doctors say, like they'll kill me if I did it. Really?

I love when the doctors get in the DMs and they're like, we like listening to you guys because it's funny, but we have to stop you sometimes. Like, you're fucking idiots. I can't wait to get a DM being like stepping potatoes in your socks. I'm not doing it. But it is true.

I think life's more, I don't think I'm hungry all the time because I'm a parasite. I think it's because I am emotionally eating and trying to soothe my trauma as a child through carbs. Yep. We're a marketing team's dream. We really are. We should just be paid. We should just start joining focus groups because we'll try it all. Also, I do have to say a pet peeve because I was in Fide, and what do you think I do in Fide, I get lost.

The streets are so little, the GPS can't even tell, and I ask someone direction. Doesn't know where you are. The amount of times I've looked at my GPS and been like, I'm in a major city. Okay. You should have figured out what like I'm in a major city

Figured out what street I'm standing on by now you feel like a ghost cuz they don't know GPS doesn't know where you are the uber just drops you off in a random street And you're like they're street that are just blocked off and they're like well, we don't know how to get there I'm like okay So my biggest puppy happened to me where I asked someone Where to go and they were like oh, it's like 10 minutes north That fuck that fuck you. I look like Indiana Jones to bitch My compass really like are we in the wild? I can't even like survive this block might as, you giving me fuck like oh towards the Pacific Ocean, thank you.

But then I think I have resting like peat pleasant face, like people come up to me and talk to me. They always ask me for directions. Yeah, I've never known to ever and ask for directions. Wait. I'm so envious. I'm the girl I'm always buying my own business and will go. Oh my god. Excuse me I've definitely also given the wrong directions because I've been so taken aback that someone's asked me for directions That I just say whatever comes out of my mouth and then I'm walking away and I'm like that's wrong I'm wrong. That's my car., that's wrong. That's wrong. That's by Carbo.

That's the milk go. That's bad. You're going to get the milk go. I posted a TikTok video of one of the jokes we did in a live show about Nick Cannon. And his babies? Yeah, because you were telling us, in Atlanta, you were talking about how Nick Cannon has 11 kids, but it's really not the crazier thing than the amount of kids is what he's naming these children.

Yes. Yes. Moroccan and Monroe. Which is cute. Cute. Golden, Segon, Cannon. Which sounds like a new restaurant and it sounds fucking good too. A plus in that goddamn window.

Honestly, I'm hungry. Hey, starving. Powerful Queen Cannon. But literally sounds like the name of my vibrator. Mm-hmm. Zen Cannon. It's in Palm Springs. And you can buy a festival ticket soon.

We'll let you know when the link is up. Onyx Ice Cole Cannon, which is a new energy drink that has vodka in it. Or the name of a wrestler. Oh yeah, that's strong Gold Steve Austin's Produgi, Onyx Ice Cole. Rise Messiah. Full Cult.

Full Cult. Take my money. They make t-shirts. And then baby number 11 only because they have not named that child yet. So some people think he's naming these kids this to protect their identities, but like no one asked him to give these names anyway. Protect their identities. When you make the got the names for first middle and last we know them We know their moms. We know how many you have with each what Identity are you protecting Nick is also in the hospital right now, and I feel bad because people are not being empathetic They're like I hope he's getting a vasectomy. I mean he has pneumonia. He's fine Nomonia the hospital is bad though. Yeah, okay. Sorry. I take it back and he is a father of a

child you go suck it up naked to cold literally men are just men are the worst they really true men are going to the hospital for a sniffle you know that there's like four female nurses that are like we told him he had pneumonia because he wouldn't shut up. He literally has strep throat, it's enough. Oh my God, there's a dope documentary about the killing nurse. Haven't seen it. There was this nurse who everyone loved, who became the biggest serial killer.

It was like in New Jersey, who was just putting crazy shit in people's IVs and killing them. Man is a woman. A man. His excuse was he was like taking, I mean obviously, his excuse was that he was taking them out of their misery, but a lot of these people were like, fine, like they were, they were going through it, but like they were like going to die.

I broke my arm. Like these men have sniffles in your killing man. But killer nurses is a thing. Most nurses are literally heroes and the greatest people alive. I wonder, since nurses do know how to kill people, why there aren't more killer nurses? Or are they just so good at it that they just don't get caught? No, do you know why? There's not more killer nurses? Because most nurses are women. I'm serious. That's so good at it that they just don't get caught. No, do you know why? There's not more killing nurses?

Because most nurses are women. Seriously, that's so good. Because women want to create and men want to destroy. Not gay men, though. No, the men are just the worst. I mean, I don't know how many times we have to say it. I'm not like how she's on. It's just too much.

I just saw the Julia Fox thing where she was talking about whoever wants to mad about like that there's a Pedophile ring and Hollywood that's gonna expose and she's like there's actually pedophile rings everywhere and it's the men so keep an eye out Watch the Casey Anthony doc. Oh my god wait. Okay. My TikTok algorithm.'s like, are you ever in your TikTok algorithm and you're just like, I think TikTok thinks I'm depressed in a literal sociopath because my whole TikTok algorithm is,

how many times can I say TikTok? Is conspiracies like about the world where I end up like catching myself being like that's crazy page, you're gonna start putting like tin foil on your head and're watching these and then it's also just like murders murder Jail tic-toc conspiracy theory. Are you a real human? I'm like, oh my fucking god Or they've overheard your conversation with Craig about how birds aren't real and they've really stuck with it. Wow

That I'm sticking to okay Okay, the Casey and the Neething. Tell me what you thought when you watched it. It was on peacock right? I know some people are mad that they're like, they're saying you're giving a murderer this like place to speak, this platform. A immediate red flag, a immediate red flag. I feel like I want a news source, like an ABC, NBC, CBS. I'd even go

BBC for the Brits. Like I want a news source. So it begins and she does seem kind of like trying too hard and kind of phony. Then the person interviewing her says, why would you agree to something that you don't have creative control of? And I was like, oh, okay. Interesting. So basically, it seems like they're coming at it from a, this isn't Casey Anthony producing this. This is us, and we're interviewing her and other people.

We're getting the facts. But I do have to say it is definitely biased. Very interesting. Wait, just so that I have all the information. Yeah. She's saying that it was her dad that did it, and that her dad molested her and her daughter or just her, both interesting. There's also still holes in the argument that is confusing. Like you

don't leave being like, oh that's super simple. It's very confusing, but long story short, she was taking a nap with her daughter and then she gets woken up and the dad's like, where's Kayleigh? And then she goes outside and the dad hands her Kayleigh and Kayleigh's like wet and like seems to not be okay and the dad says, I'm going to handle this, trust me. Walks away and then she doesn't see her kid for 30 days and she's like partying, it showed. And everyone was really mad because they were like, this girl's partying. And then the mom calls 30 days later, the police and says, my daughter's been gone for 30

days and I mean my granddaughter's been gone for 30 days and I mean my granddaughters been gone for 30 days I just found out. And then when they ask her about it she lies and says all these different things. Yeah like she says she gave it to a nanny and like all these things. She worked at a different place. If it really was the dad though and you're on trial for murder of your daughter and you have the potential to be going to jail for the rest of your life. Why was this never brought up then? Like why wasn't she like, my dad has molested me my entire life? I think he has something to do with it. Because the dad was also never placed as a suspect at once, at all.

Which is very weird. And in the documentary, they asked the cops. They were like, why was he never questioned as a suspect? And they were like, well, he was like helping a lot. And he was telling us all these issues with the mom. And they were like, did anyone else confirm those things? And they were like, no, just him. And he was a former cop.

So he was very like, like with the cops, kind of like, I'm here to help you. And then on her trial, he to the media would say, I think my daughter is innocent, but then on trial, he blamed her the whole time and kept going on trial to go against his daughter. And going back at that, that seems kind of crazy. And the mom wasn't. The dad was literally like put my daughter in jail. She killed Kayleigh. And then to the media, he would say other things. Even if I knew my daughter killed my granddaughter,

I'm not opening my mouth. Clearly there was a lot of fucked up things happening with this family. And this poor girl is a result of some of the really deep dark shit. Oh my god, Hannah, it's a Sunday. I know. It's the Holy Day.

Why are you giving me this much angst? I'll see you with gray nails, who is she? I know, I don't really love it, but whatever. Is it so better? Or gray? That's gray, no, it's like regular gray. But they're getting better. My nails are finally like growing back to normal.

After you put a hex on it. I have a funny nail story. I got my nails done. like growing back to normal. After you put a hex on it. I have a funny nail story. I got my nails done. And I wanted to do the Haley Beaver glaze, don't not nail. Yep. And I see it.

I press, I tell her this is what I want. And she starts doing it and it's fucking clear. So like, what did you do? It's too clear. Like, you could see through it. And she starts talking and she's like, yeah, I've never seen someone just want this color. They normally want the color underneath.

That makes it like a pearl. And I was about to be like, that's what I want. And she goes, but that style's so out. No one's getting it anymore. And then I just said, she literally tricked you and shamed you. She was like, no one's getting the glaze donut nails anymore and I was like, I would rather have nails

that I don't want that this woman think I'm a loser. No, literally. I will take heinous nails over ever saying anything. Just like you're so right. No, I hate when my nails show through the nail color. Like I just don't, I want it to look, hate when my nails show through the nail color. Like I just don't, I want it to look, ugh, but I couldn't look like a husband last season dork.

Or when you randomly have those white, you get those calcium deficient, like a random white spot on your nail. Yeah, I call them moons or something like half moon. And it's so embarrassing. If anyone ever saw that you had one, I would die. Oh my god, I have some. You do?

Let me see. I mean, you can't see them now. Sometimes I thought it's when your nail got hit by something. No, then that's when it turns black and blue. Oh, that's the way it comes. The white things on your nails are vitamin deficiency. You know what Julia Fox said the other day that I found our new Bernabre Brown, which I found so interesting.

The housewives, Erica Jane's husband did some fucked up shit. Erica Jane was getting absolutely annihilated like way more than the husband. Like you definitely knew you're like a part of this you're the most evil person you're awful. Gen-cha allegedly did some fucked up shit in my go to jail for a long time for scamming a bunch of people. Not one article has ever been printed about her husband and if her husband knew what she was doing, if her husband benefited from any of the lifestyle, no mention of her full husband one time, which is so crazy, so crazy.

Now that this is related at all in any capacity, but it kind of reminds me of like Pamela Anderson. Yeah. Like Pamela Anderson didn't do anything. Somebody leaked her sex tape as revenge on her husband, and she got the brunt of it. And like all media wanted to do was just like tear this woman apart because it was easy to tear apart. Because she was stunning, had fake boobs, was blonde, and like posed in playboy, and they ruined her fucking life.

Because like, it sold magazines, and like, people tuned in. Also think about like all the Balenciaga stuff. Everyone's like so mad that certain people haven't said anything, which I do think it's like disgusting if they have like, like, we cancel people over like the dumbest shit ever, and people aren't like fully canceling Balenciaga. That's fucking crazy. We have like, we cancel people over the dumbest shit ever and people aren't fully canceling Belenciaga. That's fucking crazy. But I haven't seen any articles where it has said anything about any men

that haven't spoken out against Belenciaga when men wear Belenciaga all the fucking time. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Men, speak up against Belenciaga. Yeah, you're the reason speak up against blancy auger Yeah, you're the reason we're in this fucking situation anyway True like you're just Oh, I they had um they sued their production company and how they dropped the lawsuit what the fuck is that? I mean, I don't even I don't even know I don't even know. I don't even know. Paige, what's going on?

I know what the fashion world's going on. The fashion world is literally crumbling. I also think that Kim's response was, and I love Kim, Jumas Hell. What was it? I don't read the answer. It was basically like, I haven't said anything because I wanted to take the time to talk

to the Balenciaga team and make sure they realized what they had done. There's just no convincing me that Balenciaga had no idea what was going on. They purposely put different pedophile signature things in a campaign and thought that like no one was gonna realize like no one in the real world was going to realize it. Like you think they did it as like Easter eggs.

And like for him to be like, oh I gotta decide like what dude? No you don't you also don't need Balenciaga money. You're a billionaire. Who cares if you cut ties. Fendi will pick you right up. Like I don't get like who cares? And then also... Wait, what do you think about her getting 200 grand a month from Kanye? Oh my god. I think that's kind of nuts. Well, how many kids do they have? Four. Four. Okay, so each kid's getting 50k.

Sorry, that was pretty impressive. That was really quick. No, I did it beforehand. Yeah, I mean, it's to keep up with their lifestyle. But I guess Kanye is still financially doing okay. I mean, who knows? Man, that's... Man, that's...

Oh my god, I'm gonna have to figure out how to pay rent this month because I finally caved and I bought the Dyson Air Wrap. Oh, my, with all the attachments. Yeah, and I got the long one. Oh, he's slut. I know. He's slidgin' on a little bitch. Did you get half a thing with this little one? But like, it's like kind of purchase, like I bought it and like, I don't know if I'm. You get that thing. I said you're not a little bit. Did you get half a year that they're doing on it?

It's like I bought it and I don't know if I'm ever going to use it. I have a Dyson hair straightener and I've never used it in one no I. I can't figure out how to turn it the fuck on. I have no idea how to turn it on. I feel like I'm like a 65 year old young grandma that I'm trying to be hip and I'm like I don't know how to turn it on that. Why would you buy the hair straightener when you have like 10 straightners? It got sent to me in a PR package and it was like wireless and I was like wow this is sick to like bring

away with me or whatever and I could I would turn it on and it would go off and then I would charge it and then I was just like fuck you. Do you have any of those hair brushes that are also a hairdryer? Yeah, I have one of those, yeah. Do you like them? Like a Revlon one. I mean, I did really like it when I had long hair, but I never use it now. Think of the Dyson Airrap.

If I have to do multiple YouTube tutorials to figure out how to use it. No, I feel like, because you've got it really. Which I've been. You got it really just for the curling iron, right? Well, they said like, there's all these rules. You have to wait for the hair to want to go around it. You can't force the hair onto it.

And I was like, OK, you're good. So you're like, let the hair go in as it pleases. And I'm like, this is already, my hair does not. I don't trust my hair. Then you have to go hot for 10 seconds. And then you have to zap it with cool. Okay. And then you kind of have to like keep it, it's like, and then you have to turn it depending on which direction you want it to go. I think I'm either

gonna love it if I ever try it, but like when I decide I need to go out, I have 30 minutes and I'm not about to like take on a whole like transformers Yeah situation. I'm anxious to see you try it. I will say that. I'm afraid I'm gonna like I don't know. Should I buy one? I am very into like dual makeup though someone's telling me about this thing. It's a serum mixed with a concealer or foundation and I like when it doubles up because it's like, I get it done in one shot. Also, Grande Cosmetics, they have the serum

for the eye lashes, that's also an eyeliner. So I won't forget to do the serum. Okay, interesting. It's like black eyeliner. Yeah. So you wear it, that's also interesting. Wow. I did just order on Amazon hair oil that I keep seeing people like before you wash your hair. You put this like rosemary oil in your hair and it's supposed to make it

thicker and like grow more. So you smell like focaccia? I mean a dream, a literal dream. I just ordered that on Amazon. I've yet to use it. But I'm excited to do that. I love oiling up my hair. Why do I enjoy shopping more than actually using anything that I buy? The amount of times that I've never touched half the things I've ordered for Amazon. Or I'm like a kid. Like I'll play with it for two weeks and I'll be like, okay I'm done with this story. I guess we're just like big kids. Capitalism really pops off. Also I forgot to tell you I have, I'm going to Rupert Amaro. Yes. For how long? We're going for a week, Desi and I. We're doing some comedy there. There's like a comedy club. So we're technically working. It's a work trip, but I'm gonna tan the whole time. Wait, that's so lovely. Are you gonna gamble? I'm scared of gambling. You might like it. You've turned into quite the little gambler though. You've

won't stop bringing it up. Then I have to go to wedding after Ruba and then the ski season begins. We're going to Utah. My toenail just grew back perfectly. Like she's finally beautiful again and about to lose her. So say goodbye to her. And I met Brooks finally in person from the rest of Salt Lake City. He's amazing, he's hilarious. He's a giggler for sure.

I like him because I love someone that's like monotone who's like actually saying nice things to you, but like Could it could be taken like rudely like he was like high so nice to meet you such a big fan And I was like but in my head I was like it just sounded like you told me to fuck off and you Well, he's also like gorgeous like could be a model. Yeah, definitely. Very good looking. Dunning cheekbones, gorgeous lips.

I run into him in the funniest way we're at. I was at an event that I didn't necessarily want to be at. And I make eye contact with him. And instead of saying like, hi, nice to meet you in person, I literally look at him and I was like, are you leaving? And he's like, I've been trying to figure out how to get out of here for the last 30 minutes. And I was like, let's fucking go.

Don't even introduce ourselves. And we just start giggling and trying to get out of this place. And he's like, thank God I ran into. I was literally so lost. And I'm like, I'll find an escape route. So that's how we bonded. We love Brooks. Maybe I'll ski with him.

Actually, I've been out with you a few times now. And right when we get there, I notice that you do this thing where you plan your escape before we've even gotten to the event really. Like, we're walking through the doors and you're like, I got over here. Like, we're a little spice. I like to know where the bathroom is. If I need, if I have an urgent, you know, poop urgency. Like I can tell when you're surveying the room of like what's the best exit strategy for us. I love that. I love an exit strategy. As a woman, you always need to know how to get the fuck out as quickly as possible. So fucking true. I feel like when you're younger, you like to be in

rooms full of a lot of people, and then as get older you're just like where's the air? No, it's my nightmare and also like I go through you know when you're like talking to people and in your head You're kind of doing like a running list of like okay, what can we talk about now? Like when I get down to like my last two or three things I'm taking out my phone and calling my Uber signalling to that person that like I'm done here I'm so bad at getting out of conversations. Like, I'll be like, I need to get out of this, but then I feel like I need to ask a good follow up question as the interviewer and me, so it just really is not good.

I'm really good at like, when I can take the opportunity to like, turn my body to say something to someone else, to get out of it another Conversation and then I say one thing and then that's my exit like I don't have to start a full conversation with the new person Maybe I just asked them one question or something and then that's when I'm like phone Uber Bye, everyone Elevator and they're like we can see you There's no elevator I put my phone up to my ear. I'm like, oh, you guys are breaking up. I can't really hear you.

Bye. We got their static. I can't hear you. Signal's so bad. They're like, you're in person. Guys, we still have tickets on sale for some of our live shows. And we've added a second show to literally everywhere. Austin, Texas was just announced we're doing a comedy festival again.

Oh yeah, I think they think we're different people, but we'll say. But yeah, we have tickets available in Durham, Charlotte, Charleston, Houston, Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, a couple of left in San Diego, Philadelphia, Huntington, Hunting tin, hunting tin strong island. Let's go Minneapolis and Chicago Which is so fucking exciting so exciting. We also came back with our C. E. In court new like graphic tea and our I hate men Tour of gravity, but everyone is saying that the pre-orders like already sold out Really? Yeah, we brought back our favorite comfy black shirts that they see you on court that you guys have to get. Also, do you mind if I tell my stand-up dates?

I would love if he told your stand-up dates. Okay. I have Alabama coming up, Nashville, Tennessee, Burlington, Vermont, San Diego, Irvine, West Palm Beach, Miami, Connecticut, and Salt Lake City, with Brooks. Let's do it. All right. Thank you and Salt Lake City with Brooks. Let's do it. Alright, thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you guys so much, and if you think of any eggs that you guys have of us, let us know. Bye!