Giggly Squad - Giggling about our kinks, belts, and glory holes

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

The gigglers submitted their freakiest sex stories and they did not disappoint. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm in the day just got away from me. Okay we're back in the studio, they let us back. We didn't think they would, but here we are. What's up Giggle team? Oh, that was a good one. It wasn't. I know I like team, but it we are. What's up, Giggle team? Oh, that was a good one. It wasn't. I know I like team, what's basic. Yeah, but we are pretty basic. So Elena, we have a headband time.

We love a headband. Elena, our Gen Z correspondant. Correspondent. Message me this morning and said, okay, so the pod. Please stop making it seem like I hate Paramar. And if you're gonna talk about Chuggi Please say it right like please and I wrote he whatever We have a very I'm just gonna say it for what it is a sexual podcast, okay mom

Or nidah mom page has never had sex before I'm a virgin Dad go another room and watch golf mom my mom, you could stay, she could stay. She gets it. She's a down-ass bitch. She's a down-ass bitch. Sex is important. We watch sex life. I told you guys to watch it.

If you didn't do your homework, it's okay. We'll have other stuff to talk about. Yeah. But I have shit to address. Wow. I love, okay, this is my favorite thing is that when I watch a show and then I like say how I feel about it

and then you're like cool, let a professional watch and then you give your hot tea. No, okay. I think that you just like the other guy, the husband, because he looks like a former accent viewers. Correct. Do you agree? Yes. Okay. Guys, remember the guy that ghosted me? Okay, guys remember the guy that ghosted me RIP let's just let him sleep He looks like him. Yeah, you're projecting your own shit onto him. Yeah, which we've all done The movie is basically about it's a show the show is basically about what it's like to date an Australian man

Have you ever dated an Australian? No, I actually, I've never dated. Oh, no, that's a lie. Yeah, no, I've never dated an Australian man, but I have dated someone with an accent. Why am I sitting like a dad right now? You know, I say, here. Anyway, sorry, we're in a studio, so now we have to look at ourselves. So I've dated an Australian man, and I'm gonna explain what it's like for you guys

so you don't have to I love the accent I think it's amazing see I think Australia and it's like one of the most annoying. I didn't say it wasn't annoying. Yeah, I'm just saying it's hot Yeah, but I can see how like six months in when it starts to fade you're just like Alpac stay cal That all we do I hope I stay cal. Yeah. Is that all we do?

Um, one thing you've asked me when I taught me is you taught me a beer. What's a beer called? Shit, I don't know. It's a beer, but you put hot sauce on it. That's a vile, I think. And you would just put the hot sauce on the top of the can and chug it. Or would I like that? I think it's amazing. Yeah. I mean, it definitely give you diarrhea, but anyway,

this is what's like today in Australia, man. He was sexy, I think he was like a rugby player. Wait, did I meet him? Maybe. Is this coffee shop guy? Yeah. Yeah, wait, he was so hot. I know, like he walked in and I was like, damn,

man, it's Hannah's vagina made of gold. Oh my God. He was so hot. Like he walked in and I was like, damn, he handled it. Hannah's been shy and I made a goal. I'm like, how the hell? So he, he else, yeah, he like owned a coffee shop. Australians are great with coffee. They call it brecky, which you know what? Annoying. No, like you know what?

Unnecessary. Same amount of syllable to say breakfast. So brecky, it ended when he invited me to dinner and we're on the corner in Williamsburg and he basically was like, hey, I have to, I have a friend who lives on the corner and I have to drop something off at his place. Can you just wait here? Okay. Like Cheryl calls someone, my mom. Yeah. My mom doesn't pick up. And I'm waiting. I'm alone in hipsterville, unsafe. Waiting to go to dinner.

Waiting to go to dinner. Okay. A corner. Okay. And for whatever reason I couldn't go in, what are? Five minutes go by. Ten minutes go by. Fifteen minutes go by.

No, Hannah, no. And these are some of those moments where you start reflecting on all your life decisions. You're like, how did I get to this corner? Yeah. Where this tattooed man is staring. And I really like waiting for the sky. Am I waiting for this dude who like, at this point, how many dates had you been on

and how do you already swap together? We'd already swap together and open on like, so it wasn't like, okay, this guy's getting in the class like, you've got like five dates, like we were like kind of seeing each other. Okay, okay. So you're like, oh, he's getting held up. I'm waiting. Yeah, it's getting classic. You've got like five dates. Like we were like kind of seeing each other. Okay, okay. So you're like, oh, he's getting held up.

I'm waiting. Yeah, it's like, it's like, yeah, yeah. It's been crazy. But I remember 20 minutes to go by and I was like, you were not raised to be this bitch. No. And I just go to the subway. I just go to the subway.

I might have texted and be like, what's up? I don't think you responded. Went to the subway, get out to the subway. I just go to the subway. I might have texted and be like, what's up? I don't think you responded. Went to the subway, get out of the subway to him and say it later, back him and hat in and my phone's blowing up and he's like, this is gonna be so hard. Oh my God, I'm sorry. I like, I got into a fight with this guy.

It was like a business thing. We got into a big fight. I'm so sorry and I was just like, I'm done. So long story short, he would drink like beers in the shower. Like he was like fun. He was the guy. He was the guy. If your boyfriend's not drinking beers in the shower,

do you even have fun with him? It's like either your life's really bad or really great if you're drinking beers in the shower. Or you're in college. Yes. He would do this thing when he was going down on me. I think I told you about it. We're like, he would be like,

I would be laying on my back and he would be like kind of sitting up and he would do this thing with his drool. You did tell me about it. Where he would like, you know, you could like extend your drool. Yeah, like you spit. Like in Big Daddy when he like,

Yes. A Big Daddy spit. And then it would would just like slowly just like hit your clip Tam and that's one of those things that you're just like you had to have so much practice to nail that Yeah, I'm like officially turned off right now. Yep. Like I want a guy You can fuck but pretend that on the first bitch you've ever fuck I under I know exactly what you're talking about like If you ever been having sex with someone and it's like so good and you're like, wait a minute, wait a damn minute, where if you learn that, how do you know that?

Or just feels impersonal that you're like, first of all, I hate spit, I didn't want that. Yeah, also, I don't like spit. If you have to do that to someone's vagina, you're not making them wet naturally, figure it out. And no girls have ever seen a guy hawk a logie and the girls get turned on my match. I actually...

Ah! We're so, we're so different and bad. We're so different. We've had threesome's, we're all different. I have this thing where when boys are being boys, I love it. So I think that guys make the weirdest noises, just like in general in their everyday life.

Yeah. And I had a guy at my apartment, and in the morning, he would just be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like do all these weird fucking things. And I was so turned on by it. I was like, yeah, be a guy. Just throw up on my floor.

Fun fun. A clean up your shit. Fun fact about Paige, she does a mean burp. I do. It's honestly one of the main reasons Perry and I broke up. He's like, you are disgusting. The one non like stereotypically feminine thing you do, turn them off, do you scream anyway. So back to sex life.

Everyone's watching, if you haven't watched it, it's on Netflix, but there's a lot of issues with it. And this is a spoiler alert to an extent. Yeah. It's gonna go a little into the plot. She writes in her journal. By the way, you skipped all of this. You were...

Yeah, I didn't care about that part, but she writes in this journal on her eye-mac. Yeah, laptop. Laptop, thank you. And the guy, her husband reads it, and it's like her fantasies with her ex. Then this bitch keeps writing it, and it's a pause, but he keeps looking at,

she like closed it and put it like in a drawer. Bitch, just put a password on it, and then she keeps acting surprised that she's like, upsetting him. Yeah. Second of all, the poor children, they do get babysitters, but like barely acknowledged the kids. I once had a guy, I went through his phone

and he said, it's your fault to make yourself upset. And like, that's just such a great way to twist it, because for one second I was like, I shouldn't have looked at it. And then I was like, wait, fuck you! Like, no, that's not what it is. You could, he's saying like you hurt your own feeling. Yeah, you hurt your own feeling.

You do when you're just on social media, like looking at shit you shouldn't look at. But when you're just like looking into your boyfriends and fidelity, that's just good research. Right, like no you hurt my feelings. Yeah. And, but I think in this situation, he should have stopped reading the journal,

but in no way would I have stopped reading this journal. No, and the bitch kept leaving it just in the middle of the kitchen. Yeah. Then they get into the city so fast. So quickly. If there is no traffic, no traffic, she'll just be like, going to the city tonight, boom, unrealistic. Then her jacket, this pink jacket, can we discuss it like represents her past. And I'm like, Pitch is not silent anymore. What do you miss it? It wasn't even in style back then.

Finally. Sorry that this is happening on the pod, but I don't have a voice and that's going to keep happening. Have you been yelling at people? No, I know. No. I've just been up for five days, it feels like. Yeah. This is called living life to the fullest. Yeah, no, I've been been up for five days, it feels like. Yeah. This is called living life to the fullest.

Yeah, no, I've been living my life. I may have slept 14 hours last night, so I'll carry this, don't worry. The for you. The sex is so unrealistic, and I need to talk about it. Okay. He will touch her vagina, and she's like, Oh!

In what world is that elevator? Is this the one, The part that elevator? Yeah, he touches it. Then if your dick is that big, you do not just know hands, put it in a girl. You have to slow, grab it, slowly push it in a little. I don't like this unrealistic guy's just ramming their dick in and then they're both about to come in two seconds Wait, what about the part when she watches him fuck her friend?

I had so many emotions during that. I had a lot of emotions, but they didn't go in depth with it, so I didn't really... I don't know. I didn't like it, but she loved it, and I was like, you're sick. Yeah, yeah, but that's like, cook holding. Yeah, I don't love that. Finally, does she not look a little like Kim K? Mm.

Like occasionally? Occasionally. She's so tiny though. Very tiny. I'm like, you didn't have just have two kits. Her body's incredible. Unrealistic. Unrealistic.

Finally, I was kinda into the Australian guy. I knew you would pay. Until he picked up the guitar and decided that even though he's a music producer, he can just say words and play it and I was like, check please, I'm done. I really got turned off when he was in the bathtub. What was it doing in the bathtub? Nothing, but I just went back to the bathtub. Take a shower like a grownup. So that's my overall opinion on sex life. It's you should watch it,

but just know that there's some stuff in it that you're going to be like, okay, but how did you feel when it was like toward the end? This is a very big spoiler alert. If you haven't watched it, like, whenever I don't care, it's our podcast. toward the end, this is a very big spoiler alert. If you haven't watched it, like one of her, I don't care, it's our podcast. Hahaha. At the end, when he, like she fixes it with her husband,

and they're like all good, and the boyfriends like absolutely go and like live your life, and then at the very end, she's running to him. Well, I think the whole time they want you to root for the X. Like, they do, but I,

see, this is why I think it was a good show because I kept switching who I wanted to win. Like, I was like, oh, just be with your X and then I was like, oh, but the husband and then when she was with the husband, I was like, fuck yeah, maybe one day I will get married and then at the end I was like, what, probably not now. Also, the weird thing is she's like, I was like, fuck yeah, maybe one day I will get married. And then at the end, I was like, what, probably not now.

Also, the weird thing is she's like, I miss my older self. And it's like eight years into marriage. Like you just wake up one day, eight years, but the other years were good. See, that's why when I was watching it, I was like, oh my God, I'm terrified. Terrified.

I also think that, what do you think the actual moral of it was like what can we take from it? I think the moral of it is this is like a book club class page what's the moral of the story? I know you didn't do your reading but I never did my reading. I'm literally ever. I think the moral of the story is for women and it's like, you know how you always hear like you can't have it all. No, you can't have it all. And then you watch movies and it's like, well, if you're a woman and you have like a bomb career, you probably don't have like a great home life. And how do you bounce being a mom and being a professional? I, in my true, true opinion, think that you can have it all.

Yeah. I think that you can come home and want to fuck the absolute shit out of your husband, also then put the kids to bed and then wake up and go and to a board meeting and fire people. Like, I think that you can have it all. Further fucking more. Yeah. I think we're at a mental health moment right now. Okay. I think the moral can have it all. Further fucking more. Yeah.

I think we're at a mental health moment right now. I think the moral of the story is that you can have whatever you want, but like happiness is gonna come from you and like not the dude. And I think overall we were realizing like I thought she was gonna end writing a fucking book about it

and like for it to be a bestseller. And then to be like, rich, missing. I know, sometimes you're just so pure. For how dirty you can be, sometimes you're just rooting for love. And that's to keep people, and they're told. I want her to be on the near time,

so it's better to be like, I wanted her in her friend. That would have been a great end then. That's what I thought she was gonna do with all this writing. She's clearly a great writer. We were all just like, about the foreign friends though? The friend who waits and like is like you're messing up and you're like making these decisions whatever she ends up actually having it all and The friend is single and it makes you just question monogamy a question marriage

But I think it's also yeah question what you think is gonna make you happy But I think overall no matter what guy you're with, it's not gonna solve anything. Like, no guy relationship is perfect. Having it all is just like your mindset and your perspective. Like, it's like that Instagram meme, where you see someone with like a ton of flowers

and they're like, this flower is bad. And then there's someone with just one flower and they're like, I love this flower. I've literally never seen that meme. Well, I don't know why it comes up in my algorithm a lot. But I also, like, you're not gonna be happy every single day. And if you're happy every single day, you're weirdo. Relationships are not perfect,

but I think if you know that you don't wanna fuck your husband, definitely get out. And she will have imperfect times with this other guy. But it's just sad there were kids involved. Yeah. And we never learned their names. No. I think.

No, I mean, never even got a shot. I thought at one point, the sun wasn't the husband's kid. Oh, that's what I thought was going to happen. I was like, damn, and now we have a paternity issue. Do you think they're going to do a sex life too? I think so. Oh, and then they ended it as if yeah, there has to be a second season. Now they're in love in real life, the Australian and the girl. What if they break up and then they get pitched millions of dollars to do a sex life part? Okay, well that's, I was talking to one of

my friends about outer banks. Yeah. And the two main characters and that, they, that's, I was talking to one of my friends about Outer Banks and the two main characters and that. They- They did, broke up. No, they're still dating, but I guess the show is kind of pissed that they're dating, because they're like, if these two kids break up, well, the girls 22 and these, I think 32. Oh.

So obviously, they're gonna make it. So they're in it for the long haul. So I'd note, Drake rented out Dodger Stadium for some girl and I immediately thought of you and I was like, now the standards have been raised. Would you think that was hot or like is he overcompensating? I love it. I love it. It's hard for me to even get asked out on a date.

So someone renting out a full stadium. I had a guy tell me the other day, I don't do dates. No, I just don't do them. And I was just like, what is the world coming to? I'm like, what is happening? Guys do that. It's like when they're like, yeah, I don't text. Yeah, I'm like, fuck you.

Fuck you. Yeah, that's what I tell my friends who I hate that I don't text. And you're trying to put yourself inside me and you can't text. Also quick update, what's going on with your lemon tree? People are worried. Oh, my poor lemon tree. Okay, so my friend Hollis who did design my apartment was like, got me all these plants. And I said, Hollis, I'm not the girl, I'm not the one.

But I was very excited to be a plant mom for like, for like, two seconds. No, it was very excited. The only thing I cared about was my money tray. And that shit is thriving. I don't know how. And my palm tree, but my lemon tree, and then everyone was DMing me and was like,

that lemon trees are so hard to take care of. And really, I don't think I'm in the climate for it. Is that whatever? RIP the lemon tree, I don't go for it. What's the climate for lemons? I think really hot. Isn't it like 85 degrees? Yeah, but I got her and I put her outside

and I thought you were gendering her eyes. Is that her gender? Yeah. Okay. I picked it. She had no sex. I feel like we're kind of like lemons. Yeah.

And someone DM me and was like, I've had a lemon tree for four years. I don't know how many lemons. One. And I was just like, that is us. Pyramus came. We have a very exciting episode. The sex life thing was just a little warm up for you all.

Because I was horny watching sex life. So granted, I was not about to be horny alone because like, Desi was golfing as, you know, as men do. As distinguished men do. So on Giggly Squad, I asked the Gigglers, and I didn't know if they were gonna respond because you know, like, you can't trust us with information.

But I asked the giglers What's the freakiest thing your partner ever did to you? I went on the gig list go out page and I just was reading some of them and I was like to oh Okay, first one just a good warm up just bending you over and licking your butthole I think everyone should do this. I think everyone has done that Okay but I think everyone should do this. I think everyone has done that. Okay, damn. Fucked me on a golf course in the daylight after I got an eagle.

We love an athletic bit. No, we do. We love a strong athlete. And we love a guy supporting a strong female athlete. And being like you deserve an orgasm after that eagle. Rapped my own belt. I was wearing around my neck when doing doggy. Turns out belts are quite popular right now.

Well, quite popular. I've had one person in my- Can we get in the belt industry right now? In my 28 years of life. I've had one person, let's say, how long have I been having sex for? Carry the one, I don't know. Never, dad, never.

That one person has pulled't know. Never, dad, never. That one person has pulled out about unbeknownst to me. Like I didn't know about what was being. Girls are not, I mean, taken out. That's not really in unless you have like the Gucci or whatever. And I hated it. I hated it. Cause I was just, I wasn't ready for it. And I was just like, I think, no, I think this is how I died.

Like, I think this man is actually trying to murder me. Because that's like a, it's like, um, I was like, wait, what, what? It's the whole population tight. Whoa. And the guy was just like, I gotta get out of here. I literally left. Did you feel like you were on a leash?

It was literally 0.3 seconds, and I was like, hey, I didn't sign up for that. That's another thing. If a guy's three seconds, and I was like, hey, I didn't sign up for that. That's an other thing. If a guy's too good at putting a belt on you, yeah, I was like, this is some weird thing. How many times are you're belting? I did my standup show in Richmond,

and I'd have a joke about BDSM, and I was like, sometimes I like to make the crowd feel awkward, because you know, you asked like, anyone in relationships, and I was just like, who likes BDSM, and everyone gets awkward? I have some girl raised her hand, she goes, belts! Oh my God. In the front, and then she DM me later, she just like, who likes BDSM? And everyone gets awkward, and with some girl raised her hand, she goes, belts! Oh my God.

In the front, and then she DM me later, she's like, hey, it's belt girl, can we get a picture? And I was like 100%. Yeah, I'm not into like actual pain, pain. But if you're like really enjoying the sex and you have the right mindset, do you feel like? I think it takes like an adrenaline rush. No, I think it takes feeling like fully, fully comfortable with someone and like really

liking them to be like, yeah, I'll try that. I think one thing we learned is just, let's ask before we hear the belt in. Hey, there's this thing and it's called consent. Yeah. And let's talk about it. There's this thing, it's called a belt, that you can not only use around your waist, but you can put it around your girlfriend's neck. Sexy FaceTime, but use the Animal Face feature.

Block that person. That is the weirdest fucking thing I've ever heard in my goddamn life. Are you kidding me? I hate everything about that. That's like being a furry fetisher. Yeah, that's so fucking weird. Oh my god, I'm literally uncomfortable with that. However, I think that people should use the animal face feature more often for smiles

not necessarily orgasms. Put clothes pins on my nipples not my day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Does she have her nipples pierced? I don't know, but I do know if you have a boob job, I feel like your nipples are less sensitive. So maybe they like need that to feel something? No. I don't know, but I do know if you have a boob job, I feel like your nipples are less sensitive. So maybe they like need that to feel something?

No. No. No. I hate that. Put my legs around his neck, pick me up and ate me out in the middle of an apartment hallway. Oh, that's a Tuesday. Yeah, that was... I just want to say that because being picked up to me is my like ultimate

like I just feel like the flower the light fairy that I am. Yeah, but then when if they like toss me somewhere I always like land with a louder thud than I want but wait I have a question. Do you think that sex life was better than 365 or like how do you feel in comparison to like 365 when I was on that real. You were on a Massimo run. You're on a tour feel in comparison to like 365 when I was on that real? You were on a Massimo run. You were on a tour. He had to like block you and probably. I think this was better.

Yeah. Because 365 was like, sex life was just more realistic. 365 was rapy, I'm gonna say it. It was like, it was straight Stockholm. It was Stockholm syndrome. And there were just moments where I'm like, can I don't think she wants to do this?

Yeah. Where this was more like just her crying like, how much is she crying? How much is she crying? I don't know what to do. Brad, I don't know what to do. Cooper, Alpac stay chaos. Okay, some people, you have to sub of your game.

We had sex in the restaurant bathroom. That's a Monday. Oh, this is good. I've only done that once. I've never done it, but I just like to pretend that. I don't know, I don't need the public pressure. I have enough pressure on my own head. Yeah, me too.

Accidentally farted once and he became obsessed with me farting, I had to block him. Oh, that makes me want it. I think I missed my soulmate. Yeah, that took girls who at Gassie and like, I will fart sometimes when I'm trying to come because you know when she's on these push a little. Oh my God, Hannah, no, that literally makes me want to

get a pushing roller. But then you just go, oh my God, it's a queef. No! Oh my God, no! I literally had like a five days with a guy and... Didn't fart once. Didn't eat it. Are you okay?

No, I was, I've been bound up for days. I don't live that life. I release and that's like, oh my God, I can't ever go to the bathroom. We know it's annoying when he farts in front of you and you have to hold it in. It's like that's what the patriarchy is. Yeah, I'm just like, fuck you.

He makes, I have stomach issues. He makes the spit get all over my face to smudge my makeup. Actually pretty hot. See, I hate spit. I don't like how it smells. I don't like that. Oh, she done it.

Okay, another choke me with a belt. Yeah, that's so crazy to me. Eight is asked with edible loo, and he lost his mind. I would never reciprocate. Love of your life is like, hey, I'd really like it. Well, that's different. Where the fuck's that guy? Call me the wrong name and bed. Dude, I'd probably instantly start crying, like a

media waterworks. I would, oh my God, what would you do? I would call him a different name, I'd be like, okay, Brad. Yeah, what if tonight does was just like, Jenna. Okay, that's different. Oh my God. Then we're gonna need to have a sit down. We're Yeah, what if tonight does was just like Jenna Oh my god, then we're gonna need to have a sit down. We're gonna have to have a PR meet that actually just made me mad at my fake boy friend Yeah, like fuck you if it's early on the relationship I can like deal with it eight me out on a swing in a park after dark. That's just pedophilia. I have issues about this. Yeah, I don't like that. For most, that's one. I don't even think about that. Two, I'm turning 30. I can't be playing swing. Like God forbid I fall, hurt my back. That takes six months to recover.

Also in a park after dark, if you're in New York City, in a park after you're the park after dark you're either selling weed or no I'm not doing anything in a park ever except like hanging with my kids. What's your family do you have? I don't know. Had me wear remote control vibrator while bar hopping. I kind of like that. Have you ever done that? No I haven't. I've seen Instagram ads for it. Someone left me on red. Hahaha. Hahaha. Got it on in a sauna at a five star hotel no regrets.

Nope! I don't like that. Got it on in a sauna at a five star hotel. So it's basically like anyone could walk in, but no? Yeah, what? Any could walk in, and also it's so fucking hot, I would be claustrophobic. Yeah, I'd pass out. I'd pass out. No.

Use my G string to gag me and tie me up. I don't like anything where my where I could possibly die. Yeah. I'm like, I don't like that there could one thing could go wrong and I'm dying. Yeah, yeah. I guess some people like love the like embrace fear. Maybe we need to work on that.

Like feel the fear and then like take on a good old-fashioned love-making. Huh? No one talks about that anymore? No one talks about the passion of like looking at each other's eyes and being like, you're the one and I love you so much. Oh, this one's romantic. She was on top and then he uses legs to grab her head with his feet and some assaulted her.

Okay. Well, you're dating a Cirque du Soleil former employee and good for you. He's an MMA artist. Did you watch the Conor McGregor fight? No. Does it look like I'm someone that watched the Conor McGregor fight? I. Does it look like I'm someone that watched the Conor McGregor fight? I feel like you would if you were with someone.

Oh, I would be there. I'm literally corny Kardashian, like whoever I date, I'm taking on their persona. I adopted a pit bull bitch. We're all about like be yourself and always be yourself in a relationship. I'm here in a tennis dress and a headband. Also, I am so sick.

You know the kind of hate. I mean, I got season, my first season on Summer House. We get a U-Play tennis. All those same people. Now the tennis is like stylish. You're like, hey, what dress do you recommend? What balls should I buy? What tennis racket?

You know what go fuck yourself. Yeah, fuck you. Had sex while in the clock in my office while my boss was next door. Good. Good. Cause you. The amount of hours that you're on the clock for work,

you might as well have fun with it. So when it got me pregnant. What's yours? The craziest thing I've done? Yeah. Why are you trying to attack me right now? I'm not. I'm just curious. I've looked. Why are you trying to attack me right now? I'm not. I'm just curious.

I've looked at Butthole. Ew! Sorry I care about other people's pleasure, not just myself. Oh, can't relate. I'm trying to think what the craziest thing I've ever done. I'm also not flexible. My hip flexes are just tight, so I'm not into doing all that crazy shit to hurt myself. I don't think I've ever done anything out of the norm where you'd be like, oh my

God, just such a freak. But when I was a senior in high school, I was a whore. No, I'm just gonna make... When I was a senior in high school, I had sex with my boyfriend on the football field, on like the 50 yard line the night before graduation. And I know things that that was pretty cool. That's how she became prom queen. And that's how I became a teen mom.

No. Okay. I'm manipulated her ex to fuck another girl and send the video to her just so they could have angry sex later. I don't know. Okay, you guys are diabolical. What?

It's happening. No, I don't like that. Whatever turns you on. Liked my foot after I'd been walking around Chicago and flip flops all day. No, I need my feet. No, anything feet, I think is weird. Chicago's a big city.

And I feel like people like feet a lot more than they like, I personally have never been with someone who's been like, Hey, let me like do this cheer for it. I feel like I put out a vibe that's like, I'm not into your weird shit. Maybe, yeah, I've never really think I would have the foot fetish, but I wish I would. Like, you know the stuff girls put into being beautiful,

like the microdermabrasion facials, and the liposuction, the fucking Brazilian butt lifts. All you have to do is have a foot, and the guys turned on. Like, that sounds easy to me. Like, get home bloated, just put your fun in this face, and he's like, oh. I don't think I could deal with someone

who was like all about my feet. I mean, Prince Charming, how to put that ish. That's true. You literally took the glass slipper and EverGirls a size 6-8. So it doesn't even make sense. I have that. Exactly, I'm a size 8.

Dainty. And he put it on EverGirls' foot. Like, that was foot fetishing. Fetishizing has been around forever. Yes. Maybe Walt was a foot fetishizer. Is that a word, whatever. Built an actual drywall, cut a perfect hole through it

so we could have glory hole relations. What? What? What? I won't even go to Queens to fuck a guy. I don't even know what that means. They built a literal wall with a hole through it. But like, glory hole is very like,

you put a dick in and like someone sucks your dick on the other side and you don't know, I don't know. I'm never like looked into it. I've also never talked about it. You're like, when would I have actually know what a glory is? I don't know. I love, ooh. After I said, I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.

I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. I'm not never talked about it. You're like, when would I have actually known a glory? I don't know. I love, ooh, after I said, oh, okay. He pulled my tampon out with his feet. No, I'm already out on that. That's fucking disgusting.

Oh, my God. Don't yuck someone's yum. That I literally could vomit. Oh, you'd rather him be disgusted by your period blood? No, I don't want to be disgusted by it, but I don't want him to want to eat it. Like, that's disgusted. Maybe you don't know what true love feels like.

I don't. I'm trying to start crying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Fucked in his office while he was on a conference call. Oh, I like that. There is something to be said that's hot about when you're significant others on the phone. Yeah. And like, fuck me with them. Yeah. But it can go two ways. It can either get really annoyed and think

you're super unprofessional, or they could have fun with it. Yeah, I know. I think that's a cute and fun. Yeah. Yeah. Took me into the shower to pee on me. At least it took her in the shower.

Yeah, I don't think I'm into peeing. I hope so. I don't think I, like if someone was like, peeing on me, I get pee shy. You get nervous, pee. Yeah, like I would never be able to on-command pay. My friend, who golden showers, has to chug pee to the light on the way.

So like, you can't help but pee. I don't. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I guess there is a plus to just having glowing skin because you're drinking so much water.

But. But, Pige, if someone told you that if a guy peed on your face, it would cure your acne, you would. I would. You would have suffered. Absolutely. Is that small... You would support me. You do absolutely. Is that well? I feel like we should have a show where I lied to you. I tell you all these horrible things.

We do. It's your mom's gangily squad. I go pages the thing called a glory hole. And if you do it, your pores glow. I can't believe that. They didn't know that. Wow. Sometimes I'm such an innocent bitch,

and then other times I'm literally the devil. A man, I just met Sid, scratched me until I bleed. I've, I, get it? Yeah. I've had someone ask me that. Really? Yeah. I mean, I like this because we're normalizing things,

and I hope that people feel less alone if that's what they're into. And I, as a true narcissist, was like, no, my nails are on me. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, did you know that about me? And he was like, I did actually know that. Well, guys like to show like afterwards their friends

like, look at my back. Yeah, they do. Like, it's some badge of arm. I've had guy friends be like, I had sex last night and like, lift up their shirt and I was like, that looks like she was trying to escape. I've had Guy friends be like, I'd sex last night and like lift up their shirt and I was like, that's what she was trying to escape. I looked like you came up to her and she was just battling you.

It's horrible. I don't like that at all and then I don't know. But guys like that shit. Yeah. Also, I feel like, remember growing up, how everyone was like, oh, what's it called when you leave a mark on someone's neck? A Hickey? A Hickey, thank you. Everyone was like, oh, what's it called when you leave a mark on someone's neck? A Hickey?

A Hickey, thank you. Everyone was like, oh, Hickey, Hickey, and now it's like, don't leave a Hickey, that's like... I'll never forget my first Hickey and my mom lost her damn mind. Lost her damn mind. I actually should now that I think about it because I was a freshman in high school. And that's a little ass kid. Yeah.

What are you 14? I was 14. And your neck was black. And I had a black and blue on my neck. And I said, I didn't know. I think it was a thing when you were younger to show like, I'm so stupid. She's like, bad.

I'm just not. But nowadays, if you try to do that, someone's like, that's gonna ruin my, I'm not going to office with that tomorrow. Right, I'd be like, bro, get it together. Like, use the belt, stop sucking up. Yeah, get the belt, it's enough of this. I love how open the giggler's are to trust us. Stuck a lollipop in my ass.

And the thing with this is, I don't, the bacteria, I don't know why is my hue last so long. I love that they're like, shit, we forgot the butt plug, but I do have a tutsule. Because that's just wild. Yeah, yeah. Also, I feel like I never have lollipops lying around. No, but I feel weird. I should have more of them lying around

because I do love lollipops. But it's one of those things that whenever they're straight men, the vicinity, I don't like putting it in my mouth because I feel like lollipop. But it's one of those things that whenever they're straight men, the vicinity, I don't like putting it in my mouth because I feel like they're all, mm. Used wine stoppers at butt as butt plugs. Enough with the butt plug stuff. You know, you have to be more open-minded

because you could put anything in your butt is what we've learned today. Got me pregnant, LOL. Oh, okay, I really want to know your opinion on this. Tied my hands to the bedpost, poured chocolate and put whipped cream all over my body. No, I hate it. I don't hate it.

It's just messy. And in my head, I'm like, well, now I have to change my sheets. Like, you know that this is gonna get messy. Also, the level of sugar that you're putting in your body, like, it's just, there's so many factors. I'm always thinking of logistics when I'm having sex. Yeah, it's just, there's so many factors. Like I'm always like thinking of logistics when I'm having sex.

Oh, you know, like sometimes I'm not fully there. And I'm like, oh my God, is there a towel nearby? Because if you think that you're gonna get this shit on my computer, I have, I wanna know from the gigglers, I want you guys to message us. I think I'm gonna do a thing. I wanna know how many of you spit or swallow. And if there was an age that you were like,

I've retired from this life. What's yours? I retired at around 24. Quitter. Yeah, I was like, I just was being like, is there a cup nearby? I was like, I don't have to. I'll copy your buy.

Yeah. I'll copy your buy. I'll copy your buy. Because I wasn't going all the way back there. So you will legitimately spit it out. Yeah, in front of him. And then go like this. There, there, there, there.

You know that you taste it more if you spit it out. Yes, yeah. Because it's like a shot. If you take a shot, don't swallow and try to spit it out. You're fucking right. It's literally in your mouth for longer and you're torturing yourself more by spinning it out. So what I actually learned is actually in chat room,

you have to just like deep throw it and let it go in so you don't, you miss it. You miss entirely. I know, I know, I'm 28. But I just think it's fun to like be dramatic about it. I'm sweating, this conversation is literally so many more. Okay, he put canola oil all over me. That's no.

If you do this, you have to use extra virgin olive oil. What do you get? You never get it off. You have to shout. You have to cut through the oil. It's so no. Oh my God, this reminds me of summer house two seasons ago when we had an oil.

Baby oil. And I jumped in it. We were like wrestling and baby oil as one I jumped in it, we were like wrestling and baby oil as one does. I couldn't get that shit out in my hair. It was like an oil spill. I had to put detergent in my hair. I remember that.

You had to cut the oil with like dawn. That would have been a great storyline for me. Yeah. Pulled my tampon out before having sex. And enough with me just like in 50 shades. Is that a thing on 50 shades? Storyline for me. Yeah. Pulled my tampon out before having sex. I'm enough. With me just like in 50 shades. Is that a thing on 50 shades? Went down on me while on a gondola going up a ski mountain. Okay, classy bitch. I can only come on gondola. That just sounded rich.

Yeah, that was a rich orgasm. Pied in my mouth. Okay. For God the bread, the bed frame was three-fourths. Get on the wrong side. Launch me naked into the closet. What? That seems just day and dress.

I don't know. Went to pick up bagels with a butt plug in. I kind of love that. No. No, I'm literally a clenched egg. No, I hate that. Don't clench, don't clench. How dare they do that to big ols?

He blew cocaine up my asshole with a straw. Hold on. Hold on. Put it inside of her. Like, do you get the effects? I don't know if it goes into the butt. It definitely, maybe? I don't know. Look, we the blood. It definitely, maybe. I don't know.

Look, we're not scientists. We're not scientists. Um, while I was giving head, he said, that's my baby girl. Okay. Okay. So you have a boyfriend. Congratulations.

It looks me on a jet ski. I've never been on a jet ski. Same. I feel like they're unsafe. You know what I'm driving around I feel like I'm in a jet ski. I feel like I'm in a jet ski. I feel like I'm in a jet ski. I've never been on a jet ski. I've never been on a jet ski. Same, I feel like they're unsafe. You know, I've been driving around.

I'm like, there's no traffic. I don't have a traffic adrenaline seeking personality. No. Someone said, post-divorce sex is amazing. We love that. We, that's bio. Okay, final one. Oh wait, two. First hot candle wax on nipples. Whatever.

It's dangerous. Quick, dangerous. Bring the house down. Number two, what's this thing with guys who take their tongue? Because I'm going to wrote about this and put it in your ear. I don't like it. I've had someone do that. I like outside, outside. I could do all day inside. I don't like it. I've had someone do that. I like outside.

Outside, I could do all day. Inside, I don't like it. Guys are getting a lot of talk about them loving feet. We haven't talked about the ear men. The ear fetish. Yeah. I guess they feel like they're fucking your ear. But in my head, I'm like, I don't remember

the last time I q-tipped. Yeah. Which feels fucking great, by the way. I've only ever experienced it like a few times. It feels like a slimy slug. It just feels like they're making out into your brain. Like with the side of your face. When it goes in the ear, I don't like it.

I think that's just my opinion. I don't want to yuck your gum. Page was out on a lot. What's going on from page news? No, the world's sweaty. It says, now I'm all worn down. That was so much. I literally wasn't prepared for that today.

I'm not feeling well. You threw me off with that. So much is happening in front page news. Dood. Did you hear about the Millie Bobby Brown stuff? First of all, what's your opinion of her? Millie Bobby Brown, great actress. I know she's going through her teenage time.

She's becoming a woman. She likes the glamour now. I don't know, I'm not gonna talk shit on a teenage kid. I will. She's 17 years old. And basically, she was dating this guy. His name is Hunter, and then in quotes, echo, eckmophic, whatever. I don't really know how to say this last name,

but he's a TikTok star. Okay. And he, I guess was on like a live or something and he, someone was like, what did it feel like to date a child? Because he was 21 when they dated. There was like an age difference, but when they dated she was 15. And they said,

imagine being a grown adult and dating a kid and he responded with, I know I groomed her. And then she came out and was like, everything he's saying that we did sexually was not, like I'm getting lawyers involved because they dated and she was 15 and he lived at her family's home for eight months.

I have a real problem with that. I don't care how famous you are, I don't care how much money you have, I don't care who you are, 15 years old, you shouldn't be having sex. I lost my virginity at 15 years old. Like you should not. We're not saying the parents were with them.

Yes. So the parents were with them. Yes. So the parents were cool with it. I apparently, but she's trying to say like we didn't have sex. No fucking way. Did you have a guy living in your home for eight months and you didn't have sex? Why didn't he have his own home? Like that's your 21.

So you don't have a home. I'm so confused by this, but he's basically like exploiting their sex life now, telling everyone about what they did. Yeah, and then he like, put out an apology because she said that she was like, suing him. I don't like it. I just don't like underage sex. Just like, it just freaks me out. Well, it's part of growing up.

However, it's interesting that the parents were like, you grown up. Yeah, but I think, I think, okay, whatever, if you're in high school and you're 16 years old, you should only be experimenting and doing that stuff with other 16 year olds. Yeah, you all don't know what the fuck is going on. But the fact to use the word groom is pretty chiggering.

Yeah, I didn't love that. We don't love that. What do we think about... Kravis potentially getting engaged in Vegas? Is it because they thought there was a ring? It's just there's been so many people speculating and people saying congratulations on all of this stuff. And like, I love them as a couple.

I couldn't think of someplace I would want to get engaged less than Las Vegas, Nevada. Also, don't you get married in Vegas for engagements? I don't know, but I'm so sick of them putting out so many teasers and breadcrumbing and not just telling us. I mean, also, I think it's, I'm going to say it right now. I think it's lame to have social media conversations on your boyfriend or girlfriend's

comments. I think you're sitting next to each other. You're sitting next to each other, clearly trying to look a type of way for people. Like, it's like, it's almost as bad as a long Instagram caption about how much you love someone. There's a song. I feel like it's like Wale or something. Oh, I love Wale. I don't like your picture. You know I like you when I don't like your pictures or something. Yeah. And I believe it.

I don't know if it does has my last couple photos. I know when he's scrolling Instagram stories and he just goes right through mine, I'll say something. Yeah. Because that's the lack of interest that I need to address. Like, you know how I feel when I post something and like I'm waiting for that one person to see it and like I see that he sees it. And then like I can go about my death.

It is cute. Like, does it mean like, do you see my Instagram story? And I'll be like, no. And then I feel like I'm playing hard to get even though I've already, you know. But like a comment. When you, if I were to comment, does a photo and photo and be like, hey cutie any comments being like, you guys I would say, oh they're gonna get to what I'm saying.

But then Krav is does and everyone's like, this is the cutest ever. I can't. Are we turning on Krav? I don't know. No, I'm not turning on them. I think I'm just jealous. This is what I feel about celebrity relationships.

We don't know anything about what they're really like and I hope it's entertaining people, but you don't know anything about what they're really like, and I hope it's entertaining people, but you don't know anything about it's really... Yeah, you have no idea. Even if they're on a reality show, you don't know what it's actually like. Okay. Meghan Markle's friend, Priyanka Chopra, ignored Prince William and Kate Middleton as they came into the...

Ah! ...wimble... ...wimble tin. So they are like walking to their seats, everyone's clapping because they're literally the fucking Prince and Prince at Priyanka sat there and like fixed her hair. So I'm not fucking clapping for them because she's Megan's best friend. Oh my God. And that in that moment made me love her. Cause what a petty ass thing to to do and I fucking loved it

Like you're me into my friend like fuck you. Wow. She was adjusting her scarf. Oh her scarf was off My scarf I didn't realize that the the It just like you know You guys aren't classy or whatever you're in drama the royal family is You guys aren't classy or whatever, you're in drama. The royal family is in a petty drama. No, they're so dramatic. So dramatic, I love it.

Just messy. And then my last story was Britney Spears can hire her own attorney. That's exciting. She wants her dad to be arrested. And the judge was basically like, not right now, but you can get your own attorney. Who's like, no, I want my dad to arrest.

Is it, I feel like the Britney that we're hearing about in these articles is not the same Brittany that's posting on her social media. I think it's gonna start changing because she was just posting like cartwheels on her Instagram. Yeah. Like everyone's like free. Brittany and she like posts like some flowers and she's like, I like some flowers. Yeah, now thinking about back to her poster and quarantine, it was like, do you remember? She goes, one thing, and I burned my gym down. We loved that.

We literally said it for months. When I went to another and I burned my gym down. But they said the way she talks and the trial is different. Like she, she's not as like airy and all over the place that she is. She's obviously smart as fuck. I don't know any dumb people who have been relevant for over 20 years and are fucking billionaire. Actually, I don't think she's a billionaire, but she's obviously not stupid, you know? What's her time, like, one minute?

Oh my gosh, one minute. Ow, sorry, I'm having a day. We're having a day. I do think that a couple days. People have left this pod today feeling a little turned on, feeling a little turned off. Yeah. I know I'm leaving turned off. Questioning a lot of things. Experiment with butt plugs. To each their own. To each their own.

And sorry we were in sex life for everyone. No, we did. We hope we didn't ruin your heart. I started watching love eyes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm didn't ruin your heart. I started watching love Island We'll talk about it next week. Oh my god, and when Paige does her love Island Impressions it's every mug off. I just feel the village in the villa. Did you turn anyone's head?

It's so good. Okay, talk to you guys later. Thanks for giggling. Bye! Bye!