Giggly Squad - Giggling about our shopping addiction, lingerie, and self loathing

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

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What is up my giggly puffs? Oh, that's a cute one. Get it like hufflepuff. Oh I was thinking like a cheese puff. Cream puffs are so good. Cream puffs are so good. And no one eats them. I eat them all the time. Where? Where do you find a cream puff? I don't know. You're like you know the cream puff guy? I feel like I eat cream puffs a lot. I also feel like they're essential at an Italian wedding. Yes, yes, Italian bakeries don't fuck around with that stuff. No one talks about Italian weddings enough in the dessert table. Yeah, just canoli cream everywhere.

Everywhere. Question. What is your Hogwarts? What do you call it? House? Hogwarts house, yeah. Dude, so fucking easy. I'm slithering all day.

What's so funny is I knew you were slithering. Yeah. Do you know what I am? You're a griffin' door. You're right. Yeah. Oh my god. It's easy to spot someone and what their Hogwarts house is.

That's crazy. I'm like dark art. Yeah, I'm in your Scorpio. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm a Leo. I think I'm the main character, but sometimes bad things happen to me. Yeah, but like deep down, you're really nice.

We're the opposite. Yeah, and deep down, like, yeah, I can be fucking evil if you piss me off to that point. But I don't wanna be. You know, like no one is liathering wanted to be bad. You don't choose that light if you didn't choose it. I don't wanna be, you know, like no one is slithering wanted to be bad. You don't choose that light. No, I don't wanna be bad. It's just sometimes, honestly,

before we get into like what we're really talking about, I've never been more fucking mad about Instagram than I have in the past couple of days because I wore a dress on Saturday night and I don't know if you saw my breasts in this dress but classic page I wore a push-up bra and then I put like my chicken cutlets in my bra because I actually didn't fill the dress out

like it was too big on the top and I was like, what am I going to do? So I like stuffed it. My boobs looked massive. Like they looked great though. And then I was on Instagram and I was like, it's just kind of crazy the conversation that's being had about my boobs on social media. On your own page? Yeah, like on my own page I was like actually getting really uncomfortable

Because I was like, okay, what if I did get a boob job like who gives a shit? But like if I were to I would obviously tell people and I feel like we've talked about it on the pod before that like I just don't want to But when it comes to being on TV there comes a point where people actually see you as an object Yes, you're not a human anymore. Not a human. And people don't understand that we read the comments. And even if we were to delete a comment, people get mad when you delete comments off your own page. And I'm like, if someone wrote a horrible lie on your page,

would you not delete it? Hannah, the amount of DMs I got in the past 48 hours about me gaining weight Is one of the craziest things I've actually ever read in my life because one like being mean like you're fat Being like oh my god girl like You've said obvious like one guy sent me this message and was like it's obvious that you've gained weight over the year Like I think you look great, but like it like really looks so much better on you. And it's like, okay, that should go both ways of like telling a girl she's too fat or like telling a girl

she's too thin. Like, let's just be clear. Stop commenting on people's weight. Right, like what, like, I'm 120 pounds. Like, I've always been 120 pounds. I think other than when I graduated high school, which I was like, 100 pounds, it was a child. I was like, you don't have to explain yourself.

Yeah, but it's also just like, wait. I know that, like, I'm small and like, I know that I feel good in my body. And like, I think that I'm like a fine size. What? Okay, that's what you're gonna say think that I'm like a fine size. What? Cause I think I'm a fine aspect. That's fucking two. But like, what if I really was like depressed that I had like gained some weight

and I like wasn't, I wasn't like comfortable with it. And then I just read all of these messages of people like pointing it out. I think it's absolutely insane. We love chicks in the office and Ria went on branding and hell and she was saying how she always loved her body until she started bar stool and like everyone was commenting on her body all the time

and then you start being super aware of your body. When you, like, I mean, I'll post an old photo and like for whatever reason and someone will be like, I mean, I'll post an old photo and like, for whatever reason, and someone will be like, oh my god, you lost weight. I'm like, no bitch. Yeah, like I honestly was really fortunate in like high school and college.

I never thought about my weight. I never thought about like my boobs size, like, are my butt size. Like I just didn't, it just like didn't cross my mind. And I feel like that's like a testament to like my mom, like raising me with like whatever. But now like about to turn 29,

I've never been more insecure about it, just because so many people comment on it. Well, it's fucked up. Like you know when you're insecure about something, you notice it on everyone else. Like let's say you hate your nose, and you like look at everyone else's nose. So it's like these people commenting on your weight

are projecting their own shit about weight, but it's like a disease and it's toxic and it gets in everyone's head. Yeah. And it's also upsetting because like, I'm working on this thing where it's like, you are not less valuable when you gain weight or lose weight.

You're still the same person. And I'm sorry that you have to do a lot of shit. It's just crazy too, because then I was thinking about all the girls that have been bullied before on appearance. And it's just like, in what worlds would it cross your mind to write a comment about someone's appearance regardless of what it is and press send?

Look, I just don't got it. Well, that's how I've survived cyber bullying because I think how could this person ever want to put this into the universe to make someone feel so bad about who they are? Right. And wait, do you follow tanks? Yeah.

Okay, so did you see the thing that she said that went viral about like, stop making fun of girls for getting excited about things? Yeah, and it was just like such a revelation when I watched it, I was like, oh my God, yeah, no one says anything about a guy getting excited for like some dumb football game and like drinking beers with his boys.

But like if I post a dress that I really like and people are like, oh my God, so ugly are like, okay, I can like deal with people saying they don't like the dress because like they don't have a fashion sense and like that's not my problem. But like if I'm excited about it, like let me be excited. Yeah. Like I'm a girl. It's naturally just like, oh, things girls like are stupid. And things guys like are awesome.

And then you get taught that at a very young age. And it's very clear what stuff is like male-oriented. It's like cool. Like because I like fashion and pretty things and makeup doesn't make it stupid. It's actually a billion dollar company. You dumb fuck. And that's what it meant to say.

I love when you're getting angry because it's so passionate and truly Italian. You don't have to do this, but it would be hilarious if you did a tutorial on how you made your breasts look fat, Ph.A.T. And you take this chicken cartlet. I literally just ended on Amazon Live. I go, we've had a lot of speculation.

Here's how I got that. Yeah, I was like, here are the chicken cutlets I use. Like pump those babies up. Do you guys not remember season three of Summer House when I threw pages chicken cutlets at her? She's not lying. No, I fucking like chicken cutlets. But I guess like some dresses you like to fill out

with boobs and some look really good when you are flatter because you can like like it hangs better. Yeah. I mean, it just depends on the dress and how it fits. Yeah. Well, um, that's the pros and cons though of, but it shouldn't be like, oh, you're on TV, so you have to have people comment on your weight all day. Like that's not, yeah, it's also back to what you just said about like people not thinking

you're like a real human. I was out till lunch, literally, yesterday. And this guy came up to me and was like, oh my god, I just have to say that I follow you on Instagram, such a big fan, very sweet, very nice. And then he goes, it's crazy, you're like a real person. And I just kind of looked at him like, yeah, like I am. Like I have a heart and a brain and like feelings. And I think people really do get desensitized to it

on Instagram because it's like a screen and you're never actually gonna meet that person nor do you like know them. But like for him to say it was just like, I like was so taken back. I was like, oh my god. Yeah, like people Don't see people as humans when it's on a social media And I also think that this is why I'm so excited for our first live show by the way We added a second one. Um, so check that out at the Philadelphia punchline November 14th the 15th

To like I hate to say it but like to be in the flesh. Like when I'm doing my stand up, it's literally, stand up, literally save my life because to be just like behind a screen and that's how people know you from like a certain narrative and then to be able to be on stage and just like be yourself, make people laugh and be my exactly, people who do it all the time, they're like, oh my god, you're so nice. I'm like, yeah, I don't just go around yelling about my dad all the time. I've actually had people DM me and be like,

I was never a fan of you, but I was a fan of Hannah, so I started listening to Giggly Squad, and I do actually really like you. And I'm like, thank you. I'm like, it's just a mound of gigglers I'm meeting on the road page. Like, they just make me so happy because they sit there and like, they're like, we listen to Giggly Squad because it's like conversations I have with my best friend. And then when I meet them in person, I'm like, I could be friends with these girls.

Our listeners are so smart and so funny and so hot. And like, I'm just really excited for us to meet everyone on the road when we start booking more shows. I'm ready really excited for us to meet everyone on the road when we start booking more shows. I'm ready to like hug everyone. Oh, I mean, but like COVID restrictions. So safely, safely. Just stay with me.

No, Tom, speaking of things that we have been, I can't fucking segue this. Vivit, what have we been buying? Wait, okay, we got on this subject because I don't know something happened and I texted Hannah and I was asking like something about our Instagram, but it auto corrected to Instacart

and then I was like wait, but I do kinda wanna know what you order. Like what are your, what's your grocery list? I don't, I've never used Instacart app. Hannah? Yeah, for sure. Does it change your world? grocery list. I don't, I've never used Instacart app. Hannah? Yeah. For sure. Does it change your, change your world?

So what is Instacart? I don't even know Instacart. Oh, it's for groceries? Yes. So it literally is just any grocery store, like in your vicinity. You do your Instacart order and then it like, your groceries get delivered to your apartment. I do take out.

Yeah, but like you need like drinks. You know, like I always have like granola bars. Yeah, I need like four boxes of La Croix at all time or I die. True. What's your flavor of La Croix? I need your go to. Any flavor except, any flavor except like the lemon cello I hate. I hate anything that's orange flavored.

I hate the key lime flavor. It's literally ass. You literally just said I love all of them and then you've just been hating on all of them. Well, there's a few that I just don't fuck with. I like the normal ones. Cran Raspberry, papal mousse. Oh, papal mousse. Do you know what a papal mousse is? There's a grapefruit, isn't it?

I don't fucking know. I kinda wanna do what we've been ordering in Amazon because I feel like that's the most random shit. Okay, I definitely have some random ass shit. Okay, I'll go then you go. Okay. Last thing I bought was white cheddar popcorn, 36 bags.

On Amazon, you buy food. Oh, I guess you could do fresh direct-on. Like the snacks, like the snacks. Yeah, yeah, okay. I guess that. You know when you don't wanna have a meal, popcorn is just perfect. I do love a good popcorn order.

My most recent order was fake lashes, fake eyelashes. Are you still doing the magnetic ones? Yeah, I love them. OK, good. OK, fake eyelashes. Those will be arriving tomorrow at 10 PM. Good, thank you for updating us. I ordered underwear.

OK, which underwear do you order? Because I love Amazon underwear. Is this sponsored by Amazon? I love them. I just Google like songs, like string songs. See, you know I love Granny Pinnies, but I get the Granny Pinnies that are like a line on the side, so it looks like it's a song, and then it's like,

no, I'm a good girl. I can't. I don't know if everyone knows this, but they need to. Hannah hates songs. Hey, don't. I don't own a pair of underwear that's not a song. I'm not trying to have my ass floss 24-7. Whatever, you got used to it.

Socks, then I ordered like socks, but they are cat. These are fashion socks. They're blue. Blue. I need to get them out of that. Sorry, these socks have better taste than you. They're sheer, and they go above my ankle and I'm planning on wearing them with my loafers. Okay, I love going back and forth on this because it's so random.

It's called Tina tour 400 counts oil blotting sheets because I'll be doing stuff and they'll be like, Hey, you're really oily and I'm like, what do you want me to do about it? These oil blotting sheets are great if you're like me and your face is an actual Sicilian slice pizza. I love that. I ordered a black leather pleated skirt. Oh, that's fine. Right? Is that fine?

I also, do you remember how you said you wanted a jacket that had like fur on the ends. There's one at nasty gal, but I figured you found it already. I ordered it. I almost sent it to you yesterday, but I was like, she said, The pink one?

Yeah. Yeah, I ordered it. It actually just arrived. I just tried it on today and FaceTime my mom said, do you love this or do you hate it? I love it for you. I love it. I got an ice roller for FaceTime puffiness.

Clearly, I was going through a time where I like, you could see your moods by your orders. Like clearly, I was like, you need to get your face together. Yeah. I haven't touched it, but I highly recommend it. Wait, I use it almost every morning. Is it the hot pink one? Is it like the big one?

Yep. Yeah, yep. I have that same one. Um, okay, this is a weird one. Wait, this has to be a segment more often, because it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it be a segment more often, because it's so... Capitalism edits find us. Capitalism is a fucking weird one.

Okay, I go through phases of like... This is probably not great for my mental health. It actually, I know it's not, even like me about to say this. I will pick one thing that I hate about myself. How often? Like once a month. I will pick one thing that I hate about myself and I will work on that thing

until it is where I want it to be. Okay, Tony Robbins. I know. Okay, so the past whole summer has been my skin. Like, I have not been able to think of anything but my skin. Okay. So I feel like I've gotten my skin in check.

Next, I'm onto my posture. I'm like so rounded. I like, never keep my fucking shoulders back. I ordered this thing that you wear at nighttime and I've actually been doing it and it's basically like a brace that keeps your shoulders back. You're supposed to wear it during the day but like it's too bulky to wear under clothes so I wear it at night. And you made a fun of Perry for like putting tape over his mouth or something that's so much worse.

Wait, you're gonna have a fucking like headset soon. wait you're gonna have a fucking like headset soon and then my next thing like next month will be my invisalign like I really have to do do you write it down no I just no I have self-beloving I had it all times I just envisioned you as the girl and mean girls after she got hit by a buzz every night you know it's a flower is on it hard it's like it's like material like you wear it under a shirt you would never know but like do You know what, it's a flower is on it hard. It's like material. Like you could wear it under a shirt and you would never know, but like, to know what makes me upset,

you would never have insecurities about your posture if you were on TV, ever. But I actually was one of my exes, who's a comic, was very tall. And he had a terrible posture on stage. So I just bought him one of those dance things where you just walk around all day and it just pulls your shoulders up.

No, that's like what I got. I got it for him. I don't know how he's doing. It hurts posture. When I wake up in the morning and go throughout the day and I don't have it on, I'm so up because my shoulders are like, just don't hurt yourself.

However, I do think when you have a serious problem or when you're really upset about something or anxious about something, my new thing is it's kind of like an ex-boyfriend. You can wait. You can just wait and eventually time will heal. But if you don't want time to heal it, you just have to create another problem.

I got it. You don't even have to. If you have an ex that you're having trouble with, you just find another guy to hurt you and you've moved on. You're not necessarily in a better place, but you've moved on. Where with you, it's like you've probably been having things you could worry about, but you're like, I'm going to just focus on my skin because I could control that. And there's something either horrible or genius about it.

I doubt we'll figure it out. And like, there's something either horrible or genius about it. I doubt we'll figure it out. But in the next 20 minutes, yeah, but it's there. Um, yeah, this is either like a self-bettering thing that I'm doing, or just like literally self-loathing certain things about me. No, I think it's, you're like, it's a form of self-care, but it's a little sadistic. No, it's crazy town USA. The last thing I bought on Amazon, we're continuing, was a book called Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It's been highly recommended. I have not read it. I recently... I recently... I ordered a book on Amazon

pre-order. I love ordering books, which one? Pillow Talk by Craig Conover. Oh, oh my God, that's exciting. I know, so supportive. Hair claw clips for thick hair. I just bought. Are you into the hair clip thing? Hannah, I bought hair stuff too.

I bought hair tie. I bought hair tie. We're so similar. On September 22nd. Oh, I also bought Untamed by Glenn and hair tie. We're so similar. On September 22nd. Oh, I also bought untamed by Glenn and Doyle. I've never read it yet. I read it. It was supposed to be good.

And when I say- Did it change your life? I didn't finish up. OK. Yeah. Remember, when I had a boyfriend who all I did was read, I was like, I guess I should practice reading. We read so many captions and memes. Yeah. Don't come from us.

I can read a magazine from Cover to Cover. I buy lingerie on Amazon. Did you see I wrote lingerie at Gagli Squad? No, I didn't. I wrote lingerie because I wanted to ask you. Because girls don't talk about lingerie. No, they don't. And I've realized there's not really many places

that have like affordable good lingerie. You know what it's fenty. I like it, but when you, what is like the situation when you go to check out, you have to like, subscribe or like get like, I don't know, did I make that up? Oh, is it like a subscription service there?

I feel like it kind of is where it's like- Is it a multi-level marketing scheme? I don't know, did I make that up? Oh, is it like a subscription service there? I feel like it kind of is, where it's like- Is it a multi-level marketing scheme? I don't know! Really? I don't know, but like I just remember being like laying in bed one night and the checkout process was like too much. And I'm like fuck this- Like I feel like I'm signing my soul or something now. Yeah, I'm just like fuck this card. Like you don't want to know what, like I'll find it somewhere else.

But if you Google Google nice lingerie, it's either like, Fredrick's of Hollywood, like straight off the street corner, or like La Perla, where I'm like, okay, I'm not paying $4,000 for a pearl up my ass. Like, in what fucking world?

Like I just want something hot. It's called an anal bead bitch. You know, like I just want anal bead. It's called an anal bead bitch. You know like I just won anal bead. Just one. Just like a mother of pearl one. But it's like I just want something that's like hot and sexy that I can wear under my clothes that isn't like I had to pass trigonometry to like put on my question when because I feel like girls don't talk about this enough we like skip lingerie and just talk about blow jobs. Let's talk about lingerie. One is it appropriate in your life to want to wear lingerie? Okay, so I have found that whatever nights I will actually want to wear lingerie like out

to dinner with a boyfriend and like have it on under my clothes, I'm never wearing the right outfit where I can wear it underneath. So I've actually never worn it like out. I've only done the like, come back home, change into it vibe. Yeah. And but in terms of relationships, it's like you can do it when you're single, you can do it when you like,

first or dating a guy, you can do it when you just wanna spice things up. I don't think I've ever worn it single. Interesting. I feel like that's a very saved like. That's like you have to work for that. Yeah and it's also like okay like I like you and I think you're cute and I'm going to walk out of the bathroom and surprise you and be wearing like the hottest

thing ever to get in bed and go to sleep. My thing, maybe because I'm not connected to my sexiness enough and I feel like you're better at this than me, but I more want to be like, what do you want me to wear? Because like, I don't know what is like that much sexy. You know what I mean? Like, what do you think is sexy? Because I'm barely wearing any clothes. I think they're all sexy. But I guess you want to feel comfortable in it too. But I've asked them what color, what color do you like? Because sometimes guys think things are hot

that I don't think are hot. Or sometimes we think things are so hot. And they're like, that is so weird. What is that contraption? You're like, that is so weird. Like, what is that contraption? You're like, you're learning from desks, like just go with their immediate reaction. Like when you walk in, their immediate reaction, not when you ask them.

Like you know if they're into it or not. Like I'll have a dress on. And if he's like, yeah, yeah, that's good. Then it's great. But if he's like, are you gonna wear that? I don't go, do you like it? Then he'll be like, yeah. Yeah. Then I'll go with the first reaction it? Then he'll be like, yeah.

Then I'll go with the first reaction because that's their pure, stupid boy brain. Yeah, so true. I want to be that girl that has like expensive, nice lingerie, but here's the other thing. I mean, you're getting married, so you're with Des for the rest of your life. But like, once you wear one piece of lingerie

with a boyfriend and then you get a new boyfriend, can you wear that piece that lingerie with a boyfriend and then you get a new boyfriend Can you wear that piece that you wore with someone else like is that taboo? It's like sex toys like do you use the same sex toys? Did you burn them all right? Do I burn all the like Victoria's secret that I've had previously or can I rewear? to be honest, you know in your gut if it feels hot or not, if it's ruining the moment because you keep thinking of like your ex, then burn it. But if you want to just create new memories in it, I respect that. Yeah, that's true.

It's better for the environment. Yeah, okay, so any girls out there that are wondering, wear it, don't say anything. So because I actually was thinking about lingerie like with does and then I was in the car with them today. We played 18 holes. We're both just retired old men. You literally didn't know. You guys are literally retired old. I mean, 18 holes sounded really sexual.

No, we played golf and like serious golf. We like weren't flirting. We were like, no way. Like I like double bogey and I was like, fuck. And he's like, I told you to use the seven iron. We were like, no way. We were like, yeah, yeah. It's like I like double bogey and I was like, fuck and he's like, I told you to use the set and I don't like, I know. Wait, did you guys like at least like, wait, when you go golfing, is there a place to stop

on the course to eat? No, you would love golf. Like I'll take you when you come to West Hampton, but like you put on the cutest outfit because you're not really sweating. You get like your own little golf cart. I mean, you've gone, you're not, you know, but then I always get like coffee and like a little muffin

before and you practice a little and then you get on the course and then you start playing and then we get hungry halfway through and we order egg bacon and cheese. Because he knows I got cranky if I don't have a big name. And someone brings it to your whole. Yeah. How chic. It's and someone brings it to your whole. Yeah. How chic. It's because it's like off-season now, so they're less busy.

Oh, I love that. But it's funny because yeah, I just take off really seriously. So, every now and then I'll be like, we're having fun, right? And he's like, yeah, but then he's like, I told you there's the forearm. Wait, that's cute, though. It's good to find things that like, you guys both like, you would do without him. Yeah. And he just happens to add value.

Value, exactly. But I realized, see you have hobbies. I don't have one hobby. I just like, I have sports. But, I forgot to tell you, but I did Pilates with the reformer machines for the first time ever. Did you love it? So I have a trainer as you guys know, because I'm not gonna lie, I have been suffering

from some depressive episodes where like when I'm depressed I can't work out. Like I could work, I could like talk shit, I cannot get myself to work out because it's a very like happy thing in my head. Yeah. And it feels like I'm torturing myself more and I'm like, no, I think it could be worse than me being depressed is me like working out

and being different. Yeah, like sweating with like a dumbbell in my hand and also hating myself. Like why? Exactly. So I realized the only way I'm gonna do it is if I get a trainer. So I'm like four sessions in, and it's been really fun.

Her name is Al Lianz. I tack her. So she was like, hey, I learned out, I learned out. I learned that I'm not not flexible. I'm actually quite mobile, but I have tight hips. She called me mobile. I don't know what that means, but I like took that as a positive for the big.

Yeah, I agree. You've seen my mobility. No, I've seen your mobility. Why? Move. So she goes, you need to do Pilates to help like your form and actually work on your hips and stuff.

Page, I loved it. Hannah, we're so mentally connected, it's fucking crazy. I have a Pilates class scheduled for tomorrow at 8 a.m Because I was like I need to start getting back into like my Pilates. It's the only workout that I really like like like Yeah, I do have to start doing we have to start doing together I went to this place called good day Pilates and so how okay? So I go to this place called 100s Pilates It's on like 20

Something I don't know if you live in New York City. Just look it up. It's on Instagram. It's 100s Like the number not spelt out. Yeah, and I was like I used to go all the time Like I used to go almost like five days a week and I was like all right I'm gonna sign up for like three days a week next week And then I was like, you know what? Like, I don't need to jump into something and then like be stressed out that I didn't fully commit. And I was like, I'm gonna start with just doing it

like one day a week. And I want my morning routines to become better. So I was like, one day a week, I'm gonna go to a Pilates at 8 a.m. And like then when I like have conquered that and I'm comfortable, I'll add the second day and then eventually whatever. Oh, seriously, how proud would Perry be of me right now?

You're like, wait, Perry, who is low-key, right? I just need it some time to get it. No, but I do love Pilates and I think it's the only workout that helps my body because I'm not trying to run and jump and I'm not trying to get a six pack and fucking, I don't give a shit about that. I just want to be lean and toned and I want my ass to be hard. And it's not super hot girl workout. You know you do super hot girl workout,

you know you do some hot girl workouts and you're like, we're not really doing any hot. Yeah, this muscle kinda hurts. But what I like about the performer Pilates is right when you're about to die, they'll change it. They don't make you do a move for too long. Yeah, no.

And it's just really fun. So if anyone wants to try a performer Pilates, but the next day you wake up and you're like what in the Fuck like you're so and like look Jennifer Aniston's whereas buy it so that's good enough for me And you kind of feel like you're doing BDSM Yeah, and you just you think about sex a lot during it because you're like wait. I am still packing But because there's a machine, like if you're not that flexible,

you don't look stupid. The yoga sums positions are so stupid and I could tell people are looking at me, like she's a stupid bitch. But in Pilates, you are using the machine based on your body. I don't know, I can't tell. And like, no, if you're in a Pilates class,

I'm telling you, no one is looking at you because you're in such a weird position that you're just focusing on not falling on your face or like getting hurting yourself. If you lose focus, you will get eaten by the machines. Yeah, like you will like seriously fall. And I like the machine, because if you're doing it kind of wrong,

the machine starts making noises and stuff. Yeah, and the instructor will come over and be like, you're dumb. No, and the instructor will come over and be like, you're dumb. No, I know that. But you're always like, on the corner, yeah, you need to raise your leg. No, that's the other leg. No, you're left.

No, that's your right. And you're like, fuck. Yeah, I love Pilates. And I'm so glad. Wait, we have to go to a class, say other. You know what we should do? I do think it's important to hold friends accountable. When I have a friend who's like, you have to be there

every Monday, I'll do it because important to hold friends accountable when I have a friend who's like, you have to be there every Monday. I'll do it because I'll fucking not show up for myself, but I will not not show up for Ryan. Right. Literally, and that's people pleasing 101. And that is my own issues of people pleasing. Did you buy the TIGS out glib glas? Yeah, dude.

I think I got scammed. I did it for the gigglers. That's a lie. I did it for myself. Hold on, let me check. You want to know it's a great app, the Shopify app, when it says things are shipping. Yep, yep.

It's, oh, it shipped. Wow, it shipped. OK, because the last time I hasn't come yet I didn't work last time I checked it was just like order placed and it was like that for like 10 days and I was so pissed Okay order shipped And we'll see if it works. This is like that ad that everyone's getting on tic-tac about like the Sarah Cameron Whatever lip plumber and whatever I wanted to try that for the giggle or so add that everyone's getting on TikTok about like the Sarah Cameron, whatever, Lip Plumper, and whatever, I wanted to try that for the giggler, so we'll see if it works.

There was actually a girl on Instagram because we love talking. I just think it's important to talk about our insecurities in our faces and there's one girl who talked about like how she always wanted a nose job and why she decided not to. Yeah.

I know a lot of girls who got a nose job and they fucking love it, but her thing was that the only reason she didn't like her nose, and she had like a stereotypically different looking nose Like it wasn't like a tiny baby nose, but I thought she was really pretty. Yeah, she she goes cuz a guy in Her first boyfriend when she was 12 told her her nose was too big and she was like I've always loved my nose And then you think I feel like so many things were insecure about is because one dumbass guy with a shrimp dick at 12 years old.

Like a guy when he was 12 told me that I had elf ears and that I had man arms and I like never forgot it. Like I still will look twice when I wear like spaghetti straps being like, are my man arms coming out? I had a guy one time tell me that the like song underwear that I bought, I mean I was fully in college, just like fully my big friends. Like this was three days ago.

That the like Victoria secret underwear that I bought, like from like the pink collection that said like pink on it was childish and I could never shop there again because it was so in my head. Is that crazy? And it's so crazy but it also reminds you of like, trolls or people who are mean online, like just because one person thinks a type of way does not mean everyone hates your underwear.

Right. And like, no one was seeing it. This just like, it was him and I, and that's it. And I was so insecure about it. Guys are the worst. Guys are the worst, but it's also like, most of them are just flirting with you, which is, again, like the more twisted thing. Do you know how in Victoria's Secret,

they have like normal thongs, but then they have the thongs with like the two lines. The two lines. I didn't mean lines, like the two straps. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, yeah, the part that goes around your hips. Yes, yes. Why does that make it so much bloodier

when there's more fabric? I don't know. Because my friend was like, you should get that. And I'm like, I'm not a stripper. And she's like, there's more fabric. And I was like, I'm confused, and I need a lead. Wait, the under the thongs, I just fought on Instagram.

On Amazon, the back, like in the lower back, has like criss-cross straps, but then they come into one strap and I was like, what in the strip club? It's like a bridesmaid's hair in the back. Yes, it's exactly what it looks like and I'm like, why is this so slutty? Like, I love them. Party in the back.

Yeah. My problem though is sometimes you'll get underwear that you think is so cute but then you will wear it with leggings or something and you could like see the pat, like not the pattern but like I'll have a bow and like the, you could see the bump of the bow. Yeah. Yeah. Men made those. Men made those.

And then I wonder like, are they even looking at our underwear? Well that's the whole thing with lingerie not to to go back to the beginning, but do my hair. Do my hair. I've did a lot of men there, like, I mean, just take it off, please. Yeah, like I, I guess I've never like worn it enough. I don't think any guys ever see me naked and been like, no, the thing that would make this better

is if you had a lace bra on right now. But like the light pink lace bra, not the blue one. I have had boyfriends comment on my favorite nude bra from Victoria's Secret, which I will never throw out, and I will never get rid of, that like they've hate it. They're like, I hate this color. Like it's a grandma bra. Yeah, like why do girls always wear this color? And I'm in like, not, it doesn't have anything to do with you mother fuckers I want you to know that it's for certain clothes like we can't wear a colored bra

It's on like a white shirt Met true men can be so easily manipulated And I think we have to get smarter with like Perspectives and like what they're expecting of us. If you're always dressed to the tee with them or like even when you're hanging, like they expect so much shit. Like if we don't have anything to do,

I'm in a big t-shirt. Yeah. So like then if I decide to not, like they're not gonna be all picky. Like you just can't spoil these motherfuckers. Okay, page. Yeah. And you just can't spoil these motherfuckers. Okay, page. Yeah. And you have any from page news?

I've really dropped the ball recently with from page news. I know. It's like I don't even remember her. Wait, were you fuming at the pictures from Ben and Jen walking in Sun-Dewa? Yeah. No, like they're personally attacking me now.

I'm pulling it up like that. Hannah, if you've ruined them for me, me honestly like i can't look at them anymore and not think of you being infuriated there was like a new york times article here it is glamour the headline is then a flat reportedly floor cross country just to watch jaylor per form that's not romantic yet he has a private jet and she's not just to watch J.Lo perform. That's not romantic. He has a private jet and it's not just to watch J.Lo perform.

J.Lo performs at Madison Square Garden. It's not like Des flew across country last minute to see me do a 15 minute stand-up set in a basement. Like this is called being in a celebrity relationship. Right. Go off, girl. I was like, how is that a fucking headline? I know, I know. being in a celebrity relationship. Right. Go off, girl. Please. I was like, how is that a fucking headline?

I know. I know. I mean, I know everything they're doing is for publicity, but it's also like, OK, we're over. We got it. You guys are the perfect couple. Thank you. What's nice.

No, this is my problem with it. It's my insecurities that I'm like, J-Lobe, like, has a great life. And it still seems like she needs more. And I'm like, how am I supposed to be content with my life if J-Lo is still trying to get attention to make people think a type of way of life? Because her barometer is different than yours.

Like, her peak, it's like, okay, your peak attention is like her lowest. Yeah. Because she's so jalo. So, once she gets more and more famous and more and more attention, then she gets used to that point. And then you need more and more,

it's like being a drug addict. It's just a different job. Well, it's like, Adjust and Bebe Redocumentary, where he said he like had so much dopamine from all his concerts that like just normal days like he gets depressed. I mean I totally get that. Yeah.

Absolutely. Okay. What do you think about Chelsea Handler dating Joe Koy? Okay. I'm so happy about this. I love that. I love it because wasn't he on Chelsea lately originally? Oh my god. I was DMing Amanda from Skidding Not Fat. And I was saying I love this so much.

He was always a guest on her talk show. And I think that's hilarious. So they've been friends forever. They've been friends forever. He's hysterical. And I love that for her because I feel like she's always gone for these boring rich dudes who just can't keep up with her mentally.

Yeah. And I think laughter is the secret to any relationship. And go off Chelsea. I just think she's very, I've looked up to her. She's like my comedy icon. And I think that she was very into the like, I'm single. I don't need a man but like he knows her for her and it makes me very happy. Will Smith said on page six on open relationship with Jay

to Pinkett marriage campy at prison. Ooh I've also oh my gosh so my last episode of Burning and Hell if anyone cares about relationships I highly recommend listen. It's with this guy called the Angry Therapist. And his whole thing is normalizing that like, relationships are hard. Like, stop with the whole, it's supposed to be easy. I think it's supposed to be easy, maybe like the first month or two, given a couple variables. But like, relationships are not easy. And we'll Smith actually set on Instagram the other day. Anything that's incredible is going to be hard work in your life. OK.

But does that mean that my husband has to bang someone else? That's the thing. There are boundaries, and we're trying to figure out what those are. You know, like, I don't care how much I have to work at something. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with my husband. I'm mad at him already. I'm mad. You're mad at your future. I'm mad. Yeah, I feel that for you. He already fucked you up in the head.

I do think you know your boundaries and everyone has their own red flags. Like some people are cool with like, guys not spending that much time with them. Some girls like can't do without it. Like you have to find what you're like real pet people. No, that's so true. And I guess like if you do have an open relationship, like there are probably so many situations and like it's so unique to people. Like because you could have an open relationship

but it's like, okay, well it's only open on Saturday nights and I need to know where you're going and I also have to be in the room, like it could be that type of open relationship. Or I could be like. Do you think open relationships work when it's two people who are so down to being an open relationship? Not when it's one people who are so down to be in an open relationship

not when it's one person and another person's like okay maybe I can I would just know knowledge of that I was just cruel the I do think also when they say relationships aren't meant to be easy as in I realize I just spent all seasons with does you say that right? I say that because I did get engaged not knowing the man outside of Global Pandemic, which was brisky. And also, I didn't know him for all the seasons. But what I realized was why relationships aren't always as easy as, because like, is life easy? Right.

No. And like, if they're your partner in life, I mean, it's fun being with me when like, my life is going really well. But I'm also going to have times in my life where like I'm struggling and that person has to be in it with you relationships are hard Get a helmet Did you just say get a helmet? Wait, I think we need to put that on a shirt Relationships are hard get a helmet. Yeah, yeah. Didn't our Kelly get in trouble. Yeah.

Thank God that fucking loser. Our Kelly found guilty on all counts in sex trafficking trial. Yeah. Obviously. He's 50 or so. There's so many people that were hurt by him, but for their fucking more, Aliyah was like groomed by him. He faces 10 years to life in prison.

I hope he gets life. How do you really feel about it? Wait, okay, here's the best one. This is my final story. Angelina Jolie and the weekend fuel dating rumors with another dinner in LA. How do you feel about that being a potential couple? The weekend?

Yeah. Pulse, like gorgeous. Some of the hottest women in Hollywood. Like, he was with Selena. Bella. He's way younger than Angelina Jolie too, right? Yeah, so she's 46 and he's 31. Okay, wait, let me see if we had anything else on our Google doc because so oh jack car love

Yeah, you wrote what is going on with you and jack okay I love him and I think that he has taken my post-molone spot The dirty white rapper spot. Yeah. Like no longer do I want a date post Malone. I don't care about him. Him and I are so last week. If I met Jack Harlow, I would do anything you told me. Why?

I don't know. I just love him. I think I like his personality. I think he's funny. I think he's like eclectically hot. Like he's not like your typical hot guy. I think he's talented. I think he's like eclectically hot. Like he's not like your typical hot guy. I think he's talented. I think we get along.

Jack Harlow is your Travis. Jack Harlow is your MGK. Yes. Wait, I'm shipping this. He means that. If I ever meet him, I have to date him. I have to. He also, somebody asked him what his type was

and he said, Brunatz. Like, it's flat out just Brunettes And I tell you can I tell you something every single boyfriend I've ever had ever ever ever And I started dating at the ripe old age of 15. I'm 28 Every single one of their types is blonde. Why are you doing this? I don't know, I'm a self-masochist. I will say this though, everyone I've dated, and then we've broken up, the next girl that they date

is Bruneh. So I'm just out here changing men. That changing lives. Changing lives for the Bruneh population. Maybe first day, it just be like, do you like blondes or Br like bonds of brunettes and be like be honest with me like don't Yeah, like if one more person gives me margo robby as their celebrity crush I'm like what what are you doing with me? Did I tell you how I Was watching a lot of Ted Bundy stuff and I realized that you're Ted Bundy's type. Yeah, I'm also direct eaters type

I'm also Derek Jeter's type. But I digress. No, but like, Minka Kelly, I'm Walmart Minka Kelly. Let's be honest. 100%. He also dated Mariah Carey. Not that I look like Mariah Carey, but I don't not look like Mariah Carey. Wait, wait, that's so true. You don't look like Mariah Carey carry but I don't not look like my right. Wait, that's so true You don't look like my I carry but you don't know I don't look like oh my god, and then his current girl's name is Hannah so there's something

Wait, that's hilarious Was it Vanessa who's with Nick Lache? I don't look like her But if she was a talent and she's looked like me. Yeah, that's true. Okay, anyway, we're having a dark episode. Can we finish up with some dope documentaries? Yeah, let's. Okay, so I watched monsters inside the 24 faces of Billy Milligan.

Okay, what does that mean? So it's about this guy who are convicted of rape, raping like three girls. And it turns out that he has multiple personality disorders. Wait, is this the one on Netflix? Yep. Oh, is it so good? It's that good. I almost put it on last night because I was like, wait, the one that gets a frenic and

they were talking about how we change so he's they were they're still unsure but okay there's three things I love most serial killers cult leaders I do like pyramid scheme leaders also and I love multiple post personality disorder shit basically it's from when something really traumatizing happens to you as a kid that you literally have to like leave your own body and become someone else to protect yourself. So apparently his dad was super abusive when he was young. So he created these different identities.

Is this guy named Arthur who's straight up British? That's into a full British accent and he runs shit and they make him go to sleep. And there's this scary Serbian guy. Then there's this lesbian girl. Then there's a baby kid and he goes and he's you're watching him switch, but people were very unsure if he was faking it or not because the therapist who was like very supportive of this stuff will be like, okay, let's try to fuse all the identities or like is there another one like so they're

kind of pushing it, but he was like either he's an incredible actor, but then he ends up having more, he has 24 different ones. How does he give them all straight? Well, that's why you're like, is he really faking it? Because someone wrote a book on him and followed him around for two years and said there were never any inconsistencies. Creepy, I know. And that's fucking terrifying.

No, that's fucking terrifying. But then they found out that he was basically not guilty but because they're gonna because of insanity because they said it wasn't billy that did it the serbian guy broken to the car and then

so they switch to the lesbian girl who raped the girl and that billy's identity didn't do it, but he's insane and he's sick at help. It's a whole thing I haven't heard before. Wait, I'm gonna watch that tonight, I think. Something light, something to put me to sleep. Something super light.

Then, this is also on Netflix, it's called Made You. I love when you say the Netflix. It's literally. It's literally. It's literally. You're gonna be such a good mom, Hannah. Also on the Netflix. Yeah, it's just the real wide web.

Guys, this one's really exciting. Okay, it's called Meiju Look and it's about fake art. So at first you're like, hmm, doesn't sound as exciting. Oh, it is. Okay. The art industry in New York is so much more wild and more pretend just than like the fashion industry in New York. Yeah. Who are the actual people that are buying rare famous art?

Like, art's going for millionaires. Billionaires. Billionaires. So like millions of dollars. Yeah. Basically, this woman finds, is working for this very famous art gallery And this woman approaches her with a rough, Ruth,

Ruth go. Okay, basically this scheme happened over like 20 years where like millions of dollars of fake art were made by this like Chinese guy Who his craft is perfecting whatever long long story short, that makes it interesting. The owner of the art gallery, this prestigious art gallery in New York, is Army Hammer's Dad. Shut the fuck up. And that's when she got interesting, because we don't know anything about this guy, wears like velvet suits, is always tan, it's like December, and he's like tan with like low lights, and he's a character.

And basically they don't know if Army Hammer's family like kinda knew, because they found out that majority of their income was from all these fakes. Absolutely, they knew, come on, nobody. But the woman who's buying it from the gallery is fighting to the death being like, I'd rent it by all these people and then this person who talks about con artist says like the person getting conned really does not subconsciously like want to admit that they've been conned. So they and they want to see what they wish they saw.

So again, that is a crazy one. Would a twist that it's Army Hammer's dad. Where the fuck is he? He's your boyfriend. He's your boyfriend. Finally, finally to wrap this episode up. You have Lula Rich and I'm gonna have you talk about this one, but I wanna preface it with

Stand up comedies and interesting journey for me Every now and then I do some gigs that I'm not necessarily proud of This last gig I had four shows in New Jersey this last weekend turns out it was actually in a hotel in a conference room And I walked in and I was like I'm the president of a mid-level marketing scheme and you guys are all going to make a lot of money. So anyway. And I referenced all the way to our Weed and Episodes of the Middle Ridge. It actually was routing and I had the most amazing time.

But for a second, I was like, how do we got here? What do you think about Lula Rich? Because we've now watched it. They're certifiably insane. They're insane humans. When I watched the first episode, I was like, okay, I don't know if they like meant for this to be a pyramid scheme. Like I don't think they like some information out. Yeah, like I don't think. But then when it got to like the Tijuana skinnies, I was like, well, so Elena, our CEO,

so that she has a whole group chat with her friends called the Tijuana Skinny. What? For people who don't know, it was basically her telling certain women that they need to get like a balloon in their belly to lose weight and there was a guy in Tijuana who would do it for them.

I mean, absolutely insane. And also, I just look. I know that it's easy to get like caught up in things and like blindsided and get in bad situations and be brainwashing all this stuff, but bitch. If you're remorgaging your house, something is fucking up. Like, what are you talking about?

How did people get so deep? Paige, I disagree with you. Okay, what? I watched that and I was like, I would fall for all of it. Because it's just like a cult. I think college sports was a cult. Like, I had to do like planks on like 150 degree surfaces, and your skin is like melting into the court,

but everyone else is doing it, and you're like, but I want to be the greatest, so I guess we're doing it. Like it's crazy how you can push yourself to the weirdest places. I get that, but I guess maybe I just had a harder time because every time they showed the clothes, I was like, you should all be shot.

It was disgusting. It was disgusting. It was disgusting. But it was this weird look. I was like, who are the people that buy all of this from you guys? I want to be fun. It felt like butter. I'm like, yeah, have you ever felt lululemon?

Get lululemon. Have you ever seen a solid color ever? She does. Invest in that. I mean, New Yorkers were not buying this. New Yorkers just want to wear a black or gray. It was giving me the hibi jibis. But for women who were feeling bored at home or wanted more money, but also want to spend

time with their kids, like they were pulling on hard shoes of specific demographic who was feeling very vulnerable. And this, what is more exciting than hope? So she's selling hope that, imagine you remorgage your home and then next thing you know, your husband could retire because you're making so much money. But this is where mid-level marketing schemes are fucked up because at first I was like, okay, it makes sense.

Like just work hard and you'll do well and it's kind of tough. No, no, no, mathematically, it's a pyramid. So the amount of money people are making at the top of the pyramid, there is no way that people at the bottom of the pyramid can ever make close to that money, ever, ever. So that's why middle-level marketing, actually they're legal,

but pyramid schemes are illegal because I just feel like you're actually tricking people. If something seems too good to be true, it is like you your brain. But Paige, there will always be like five to ten people who are making crazy amounts of money in those schemes because they're the examples because they're at the very top, but they're in a completely different situation than the people who are at the bottom of it because you literally can't get the same rollover of the people below you as the people who have hundreds of thousands the people below you as the people who have

hundreds of thousands of people below them. I mean, it literally looked like Stepford Wives. Like, it freaked me out toward the last episode. I was like, right when? And then when? They were actually giving me the chills. And then when the clothes start to have holes in it, smells?

Yeah. Oh. Imagine your house being full of Lulora No, but the funniest part is they're still in business. I know that's the craziest part But they I think it said they only have like 1500 People now when they had like 60,000 Yeah, it's great. I mean they basically started a cult for clothes. That is like Mormonism or not Mormonism a cult for clothes that is like Mormonism or not Mormonism, Scientology. All I kept thinking of was the Scientology documentary. I was like this is exactly like Scientology but ugly leggings. Page I'm not trying to have Scientology come after us. They don't listen to us. They don't care about us. They're not kicklers. They're not kicklers. What is our housekeeping? Check,

fill Delphi a punchline November 14th of 15th to see if we have any seats left. I don't know if we do. But we are going to book different shows. We also have new new more checkagly.scuad.com. I think that's it. Look out for Paige when she's on Amazon Live. She's killing it. Look out for Hannah when she's killing it. Listen to Burning and Hell. Doing her stand-ups and conference rooms

and secretly signing you up for a pyramid scheme. Oh my god, we love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling with us. Bye. Bye. Bye. you