Giggly Squad - Giggling about private jets, snorting spray tan, and fake bags

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

NYC show will be announced soon hehe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is up my giggly goldfish my sexy sheet goldfish that's so weird you say that because someone said to you the other day like I just feel like you have the kind of personality that would get a goldfish. And I was like, I feel like you have the kind of personality I never want to talk to again. That's like when people called me body positive online for posting a basic photo of myself in jeans. Stop straight up insulting us.

I have some controversial statements to start with. Okay. And I realize that you know how you're scared of getting arrested because of tax evasion. Yeah. I know how I'm going to get arrested. How? Um, bitch was in China town last night. Mm-hmm.

Those fake bags are good. Yeah, they're good. And fun fact about Des, he speaks Mandarin and he loves haggling with them. You're getting awesome. Cause when we were in it, I was like, is this how I'm going to go down? Like, is this how they get me? Imagine you go down for a fashion crime. Cause the lady came up to me and she's like, you want a bag and I was like, you know,

Prada Re addition 2005. I've been nylon. I've been looking at. And she was like, I got you girl. And I was like, does do your thing. He was like, no, no, no, we got to walk away. We got to walk away. Yeah.

It was like $60. And he's like, we got to walk away. He was being tough with these women. We walk away. And I was like $60 and he's like we got to walk away. He was being tough with these women We walk away and I was like is that illegal and he's like absolutely And I was like, be here. Absolutely Here's my thing if you don't live in New York City and you don't know what we're talking about or like you've never visited Basically, they sell fake bags in Chinatown just like on the street But here's what I think I don't

think some of them are fake. Like I think they're real, but like they can't sell them in the store because maybe like the zipper is broken or like the threads are off and not aligned properly. So they just like disregard them rather than fix them and then they sell those. Now I'm not trying to have the entire fashion industry come at me, but I'm a very stylish friend who had this Prada bag and I was like, that's so cute and she goes, it's fake. And I was like, why?

A lot more women wear fake bags than you would think. Well, it looks exactly real and you're like, why would I, if I can get it cheap? Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I? And then I was like, oh my God, that'll be so funny if I did get a gig with squad from jail for a $50 bag.

But also the way they do it is it's pretty sketchy. The bags aren't just laid out. Like they can go to you with a paper. I mean, you point to something. And then they bring you across the street and they're like, I guess they go into like a paper, I mean, you point to something and they then they bring you like across the street and they're like, I guess they go into like a dungeon and they like bring it out. I like the way that they get you and they only say it to people walking down the street

that they think they couldn't taste and it's like Prada Prada Fendi Gucci Prada Fendi Gucci and you're just like, what? You're like, what new Jack Carlos song is that? It's just like your version of an orgasm. You're like, yes. I'm like, what? What? Oh, wait, that's hilarious.

I also realize though that like some of my very like fashion forward friends are shopping on the black market and there's places you go online and I'm not trying to be out here being like buy rip offs but we buy H&M right we buy Zara they're all inspired by the most I don't know am I getting in trouble by this I feel no people get really mad about fast fashion but like we're not in the 1920s where we're we're we all can like sew a new shirt when we need one that's gonna last us forever. I do data man who's made sewing his entire career. Also I do have to apologize to everyone that we're slightly late. Paige is working on a very secret project. It's also 10 a.m. and one hand and I first got on, we were like, what an ungodly hour. Oh, true ungodly hour.

I was like, does I need a coffee? It's the middle of the night. But we're about to get into it because I have some wild shit going on. Oh, yeah. Wait, so should I get the fake product? Yeah, you should definitely get the fake product. Should I say it on a podcast? We're hundreds of millions of thousand people, isn't?

No, we're gonna say that you didn't get the fake product. And I'm gonna wink right now. Okay, I also, I'm turning into you. Please explain. I have something on Amazon that everyone has to get. What is it? It's not fashion, though. Also, I'm turning into you. Please explain. I have something on Amazon that everyone has to get. What is it? It's not fashion though.

Okay. Do you like drinking water day to day? I mean, I do it, but I'm not like, oh yeah, water. I think water is so boring. Mm-hmm. I think I hate that it's the source of all our hydration. Like why couldn't it have all our hydration. Why couldn't it have been sangria? Why couldn't it have been something fun? I also hate skinny teas.

I hate all that shit. I don't like the sugary drinks. Yeah, you hate a sugary drink. If there's one thing about you, there's one thing that you can't do. That's what you are doing. You're not just opening a gatorade and chugging it. No, we're diluting. We're diluting, we're putting water in it. I will put water in a sugary cocktail and people will give me death stairs. Yeah.

People get angry when you like a diluted drink. I've watched that. Like I've never seen you drink a full glass of lemonade without being like, you better put some water in that shit if you want me to drink it. I go to a Thai restaurant and I get a Thai iced tea as one does and then I get a big water. And as I sip, I dilute.

I sip, I dilute and it lasts three times longer. Am I a genius? Someone say? Yeah. Would some say that it's a hate crime? Absolutely. But it's a thin line. Yep So it's called sport tea. Have you heard of it? No, well, I originally found out about from TikTok

It's a tea that the sky drank when he was going up Mount Everest. Oh God, Hannah. You're just getting out of bed Barely I stay horizontal for most of the day. You're like, are you am I training for a marathon? No. But. Do I need to send a couple of emails and possibly do a reckless TikTok? Get me the sports team. So it's called sports team.

Okay. And it has no sugar, no anything in it. It's literally just tea. Okay, and it tastes like Sweet, but you drink it cold you drink it cold or you drink a cold Like you fill it up with water. You let it sit for like two hours in the fridge. Whatever Sport tea is the most amazing thing and And it's not like some crazy, beautiful hydration. It's just like a really good tasting tea that you can put in your stuff. And if you want to climb Mount Everest, you can with ease.

Yeah, it's been scientifically proven through Hannah's. Do you wake up with the lemon water? Okay, you want to know something so weird. In my younger 20s, I was actually so much healthier than I am now. And I don't know why. I think I'm going through a rebellious phase at 29, which we're talking about in therapy. We're working it out. We're figuring it out.

But I used to start and end every day with a hot water with lemon and let me tell you know what I think it is I think when you're younger you're scared Like you think you're gonna die That is true though You're just scared in your early 20s I feel like 30s you like survive it and you're like okay and that's like showbiz baby That's showbiz baby. That showbiz baby. You go what? What I'm put on 10 pounds? Who gives a shit?

No, I've actually gotten to that point where I'm just like, this is my body now and she's got a little bit of a tummy and she likes that because then my ass is just so much better. But you're people I'm talking off about that. And then if you want, you can take that little belly and inject it into your ass and become a Kardashian. And that's a whole thing. Take the sides of your cheek fat. There's fat that I didn't even know people could take out that they're taking out. It's kind of insane. Actually, there was like a small time period that people kept yaming me asking if I had

gotten my butt down. And I was like, if I had gotten my butt done and I was like if I had gotten any work done don't you think I would have done it better or like do you think I do it so suddenly and tastefully right like I would walk out of that operating room straight up family Anderson like I'd even get my eyebrows down while I was in there. Like dying my hair. I wouldn't be messing around with like some small BBO. Me and you deal with different problems. Yeah. People accuse you of getting all this plastic surgery and people accuse me of being brave. And I don't know what I'd rather have. I think I'd go for plastic surgery.

Yeah, you really hurtful. Both people were calling us ugly. So it's time. But we're working. I found myself in plastic surgery take-talk ads. You guys know I eventually find, like it knows I don't want to see it. And it's interesting to see girls do their, they do their like 30 days, they still surgery,

20 days still surgery. Yeah. And then you're like, what's this person getting done? Those tic-tocs get me going. They get me going, but they're like, oh my god, there's like a little bit of fat underneath my chin on the left side of my face that I want to get removed. And it's like, just say it, Hannah, just go into it. Are you ready?

We haven't had this rant in like two episodes. No, I just see like really pretty girls being like, I need to like, remove fat from below my chin. And I'm like, can we allow fat to be under your chin? Why do we have to look like Barbie dolls? We're like a stick and then a head on it and your chin has to be fucking like, oh, why can't we have a natural progression

from the neck to the chin? Speaking of things you should get on Amazon, there are these face masks that look like chin straps that you attach to both of your ears and it's supposed to like suck up your neck fat. It's supposed to like contour it without feeling like you have to get your neck chopped off. But this is the fucked up thing. Ladies, your neck's are not fat.

Your neck's just connecting to your head. Don't eat it. Get it off. And this is one of those people be like, oh yeah, no one talk about, you know, lip filler, like you have like fairly big lips. Okay, well, I have a, I have a gobble. People, when I was in middle school, guys that I had a gobble. No way. Yeah, and you know what? I said, I have a fat ass, I fuck you. If I didn't have a god boy, I would have a fat ass. I'm picturing like a fifth grade Hannah being like, I have a fat ass, what do you have? I got a fatty.

They call so I add it to the beddy. Okay, I need to get offline. That's the moral of. I, it's funny that you get to plastic surgery TikTok because you hate it. I get to cleaning TikTok. Because I'm like, I'm never gonna clean. I'm like, these people are stupid.

But do you like watching? I love watching it. Oh my god. It's like watching a workout video where you're like, yeah, that's good. I'm so satisfied after. It's on a different level. You're like, she cleans so why do I need a clean? At least someone's cleaner in the world. And like, wow, I wonder what it's like to date her.

Like, someone was like, ever just get into a weird manic cleaning phase where like you start by just putting a cup in the dishwasher and then your whole kitchen is clean and I'm like Come over. You're like here's my address. Let's figure it out in my apartment She's like you ever just get wild next thing you know like all your laundry's done I'm like that's me getting wild is suddenly there's Chinese takeout everywhere and I've been in a YouTube whole watching Suddenly, there's Chinese takeout everywhere, and I've been in a YouTube hole watching videos of army veterans visiting their children, and I'm crying hysterically.

That's my manic face. The amount of times I've ordered food and like seriously thought about putting in like the delivery notes, just walk into my apartment down the hall and hand it to me in the bed. I'm like, do you think they would do it? Is that unsafe? That's the best thing about touring, though,

is you eat in your bed with no judgment. You're like, what am I gonna eat at the desk? I'm not eating at the desk in the hotel. There are so many people that find it so vile that we love to eat in the bed. Some of these people are in my family, but like, find it so vile that we like to eat in the bed. Some of these people are in my family, but like, find it so wild that we like to eat in the bed. And it's like, I don't come at you

for like your weird quirks. Like let me rest, let me enjoy the things I like. I'm one of those people, I don't like outdoor clothes in my bed. Like, I also just live in New York City. Street clothes, yeah. We're not like in LA where people are in my bed. Like, I also just live in New York City. Street clothes, yeah. We're not like in LA where people are in the car all day or like in the Midwest where people have like real homes.

We are in New York City where people are on the subway. They're in Ubers. They're who knows what the fuck they've been doing. Yeah, I mean, at any point on the street, someone could just be taking a shit next to you. And you're just like, we love New York. It's so clean. Yeah, like they could be dissecting a squirrel

and then eating it. We were walking Romeo yesterday, and he's, we like, we're talking, and somehow he got a hold of like, something on the ground that I could not identify, and I couldn't look at him for like an hour. No. I was like, Romeo. Romeo. Romeo.

Imagine if humans were like that, like imagine. You and Des got engaged and I came over to your apartment and I was like, here's a dead squirrel. Do you like it? My mom was telling me that cats will bring you their prey or their stupid toys to either be like, I know you're a human and you're not good at hunting. So I got this for you. Or because they know that you're their mom and they know that you'll protect it for them. That is so freaking sweet.

I watched this documentary about Orcal Whales. And first of all, I feel like I was an orca in a past life. Like I connected with them so much. Did you just start a dope documentary segment? Did we? What? Is this freaky Friday? What's happening?

You just talked about Prada bags for four minutes. And I was like, right. But. But the Orca Whale is crazy. You need saving. And what are we going to do about it? What's the name of this documentary? Where?

I don't know. Wait, is this the black? No, it's not like the really famous one. It, here's a thing, me and Craig, when we're like getting in bed and about to go to sleep and you wanna put on something stupid that you don't have to like listen to, he puts on like the deep blue or like some like ocean thing.

Oh, I love that. It's actually really smart because it's like they're down in the bottom of the ocean, so it's so dark. Like the picture is so dark, so you like kind of fall asleep or like sooner. And do you like David Attenborough in the background? Yeah, and like the voice is just so good. The little minnow knows it's life's gonna end soon, but it's gonna enjoy. It's final moments. You would actually really like Oracle Wales because in their species, the women are in charge. So like the most do not already love it.

I'm I'm sold. I'm like because the women beat the shit out of the man. He would love that They exile all the men they use them. They have sex with them to get pregnant and then they're like Scram wait, so they're on their own. I hate mentor They're in the ocean for thousands of years centuries. They've been on it They're like wearing giggly squad t-shirts in the ocean. They're like, fuck them on. They're just straight up toxic and they own it. So, like, the grandmother is in charge of like the whole pod of orcas. And so, when humans are like in the ocean following the orcas and like watching them, like,

what they do and whatever, they know they're like the smartest. They have like the closest brain capacity to us. So they know that like we're humans and that they don't want to eat us like we live our lives, they live theirs and they're like cool, you can follow us and like track it. So this one orca brought this human who's like in the ocean with him a dead sting right. And was like, here you go, this is me saying that like, I'm not going to eat you. And like, if you want this, you bring it to your family. And then like, and then they're like jack dolphins. Cause I also could like, they can like beat up the truck.

They get, yeah, they're a, what is it called? It's, there's a word that's like there at the top of their food chain. And I forget the word. Yeah. Yeah. Um, why don't I feel like we're in third grade. And we just like got home from class and we're trying to explain to, yeah. Why do I feel like we're in third grade? And we just got home from class and we're trying to explain to our parents what we're doing.

My mom. Okay, but did you know? Our coils would be like, you're like, cool. They can like, take a stingray. I'm like, give it to you. I'm like, wait a minute.

The other day, Craig was telling a story and he kept being like, well, apparently, and then I just shouted, apparently, and no I just shouted, apparently. And no one got it. Not a soul. And I was like, everyone just kind of looked at me. And I was like, I guess you guys aren't on the internet.

I was like, oh, we're trying to bully your own boyfriend and people don't support it. You're like, if anyone's allowed to, I am. And he's said the word 14 times the last minute, and no one's calling him out. Apparently, apparently. Apparently. We were in LA with another couple,

and they were just looked at me, and I was like, apparently, I've never been on a rollercoaster. And apparently, and Craig was like, I'm trying to tell a story. I was like, yeah, apparently. And for the gigglers that don't know, it's a YouTube video. Just Google apparently it'll come up. They'll come up. I wonder where that boy is now. I wonder.

Oh my god, I want to do a sequence of like, where are those viral YouTube? Like do you remember the kid when the interviewer was like, do you miss your mom? And he first saved school and he was like, no, yeah, they did something. Yeah, they did now. They did one where it was like, but the very first YouTube video ever was like, out charlotte, not really. They're like grown adults, they're like married, they have kids.

They're like, please stop. You know what I think about? I think about the leave Brittany alone guy. I follow him. Well actually, he transitioned. I don't even know what you're talking about. What is the guy who was like a teenager, like kind of emo and he was just like in a curtain being like leave Brittany alone and he's sobbing about Britney Spears.

Yeah and it was like wave and everyone just like laughed at him, but he was like, Leave, Britney, alone! Okay, he's a time traveler, because he like knew what the fuck was up. He knew what the fuck was up. Um, do you believe in time travelers? What? Do you believe in time travelers?

Guys, this is what it's like when we recorded Tunningham. We're not high. We're just in a different realm that we don't we're scared, but we're going with it Like if someone came up to you and was like I'm a time traveler Would you believe that? I'd be like good one Brad if you want to get laid like just get a 401k You have to be a fucking time traveler, just be tall. Okay, like, shut the fuck up.

You're like, is this because you're short? Yeah. Oh, speaking of short, man, I love back to the future. He was so cute. What was the same? Michael J. Foxx. Yes, put him in your pocket. Anything else about Orcas?

Do you want to try? No, I'm good, but I have, I'm gonna watch some more documentaries because I watched two and I was just like, I fucking love these guys. Okay, let's go full into dope documentaries. Okay. I have to complain about Georgina because I finished it. You did, what are you saying? And now I know what you mean, because when you first start off, you're like, okay, where's the gun go? Okay, we're setting it up. What's going on? We're setting the scene then you're like,

oh, this is a full propaganda of just, you guys, she'll do anything. She could like fart on someone's face and then it'll cut to the confession on there. Like she has the most beautiful farts that anyone's ever found. And like, who is this PR team? And can we please rewrite my narrative

so that people like me. So you start getting angry because I'm not like, oh, I need drama on every show. Even though it's a great, it makes shows better. But I was like, they're just interviewing all her friends to say the same lines. Like, she's so generous, she's so amazing. So I googled her.

Which guys don't believe everything you read. However, she has a pretty interesting life. She's the daughter of a cocaine and cannabis kingpin. Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being?

Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? Who is in jail for time being? I think that didn't make good television. They just skipped over that. And like, no one's judging you. If there's one thing I like, it's a cocaine kingpin, okay? There's one thing that moves the needle when it comes to ratings. It's a cocaine cannabis kingpin.

He was like, I have a conquered cannabis. We're moving a cocaine. Yeah, and it's like it's not even heroin, like put that shit on, like we wanna see that. She doesn't mention her parents. No one knows what's going on with her. She grew up in Argentina, no one talks about that.

She pretends she moves. This is where she lost me. Okay. She breathed. And by the way, I like her, but this is where the show lost me. She invites these kids that she used to be an for to this, like, what's a call to six flags?

Like, basically, yeah, like basically like a big theme park. A theme park. That she shut down the entire theme park for like five of her friends because she's so generous. Yeah. These kids come and like, it's really cute. She's like, fuck all the kids that wanted to come here today. My friends are coming.

Then I found out she was an out pair for them for three months. I've taken longer shifts. My milk, my milk and my fridge right now have been their longer than three months. Like, are you fucking kidding me? You're like, and I'm not inviting it to my child's birth day.

Like, she's trying to make it. Like, she had this amazing, like, I know my friends have done babysitting for good money and they become like part of the family for like five years and I was assuming that's what she meant. I'm telling you, the PR team on this Oscar award winning, like, they knew what they were doing. I don't understand. The whole thing was about her family and I don't understand the dynamics of her family. There's one, two, three, four children at the time.

Three of them are not hers. No, they are. Three of them are hers. The oldest son is not her. You've never heard the Cristiano Ronaldo story about like his first son? No. Okay, so Cristiano Ronaldo got this woman pregnant. He then paid her off to never tell anyone that her identity and that she is the mother of his child. He then took the sun and like the sun lived with him. I don't think the sun has ever even met his mom

because Cristiano Ronaldo didn't want whoever this moment's like identity to come out. Yeah, so Georgina's not the oldest son's mom, but she acts like it because this kid like doesn't know his mom. Okay, let me do that. That poor boy in therapy immediately is that We have cocaine and collusion and we're not talking about any of it. No, but she didn't have the twins

Like she didn't carry them They said it was asserted. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. But that, there are still biologically hers. I don't know, like no one like explains it. Yeah, they cut, they, like gloss over a lot of things and then just like show or closet and I am like that person that's like squirrel, like, is that a Berken in blue? I'm like, I don't care. Did you kidnap all these kids? I don't care, Did you kidnap all these kids? I don't care.

Look at those shoes. Did you get trapped? Are you a child, Kingpin? It's okay. That's Prada. Is that real or fake? I don't care. I like it.

OK, I have a question. OK. All the stuff, the real housewives, where one percentage do you think is real? Cause these women have a lot of pressure on TV to show it off. I think Beverly Hills, they're all real. I think any other franchise, it's wearing like full onesies. Not real.

Fuck you bitch, I know you got that on Canal Street. Oh my God, it's expensive and you start getting pressure. Remember like Leah had to buy a whole new apartment for us as a New York. I mean two of them are literally on trials. But I did find out that Jen Shaw wants Kim Kardashian to represent her. I'm done living on this earth. I feel like. Yeah. I've seen it. I'm like I'm good on it. It's just now to be honest if it was like parking ticket I Get it. I'm not saying Kim is not capable. I'm saying have some fucking respect Right for the old people that you allegedly

stole from Like don't make this a press affair for your followers, you know. It's also like, it's also like how many times does the FBI get it wrong? You know, I don't know. I mean, I do watch a lot of documentaries, but I'm not going to get into it. Do they get it wrong a lot? I mean, I did watch a whole thing last night about, but I'm not going to get into it. Sometimes it's for a different pod.

It's for a different pod. It's for a different pod. It's a whole different pod. Speaking of documentaries, I am still watching Secrets of Playboy. Okay. And it's getting really crazier. It is. It is.

It is much crazier. They really start slow. They really start slow where they're like, he's a monster. Just trust us. And then they're like, okay, let's lay down the law. He was having like full orgies every night. It's just like, where do you get the stamina?

I have one boy friends. I have one penis, and I'm like, I am exhausted. I'm exhausted. You had to take a two week break off for your vagina got suppressed. I'm like, we did it twice in one day, and my vagina was like, you deserve a UTI. Apparently he always like, apparently he wanted more.

Apparently. I love when our jokes come full circle. It's probably one of the best feelings in the world when we're on the pod, and we have jokes from the first 30 minutes that wrap around to the last 30 minutes. And it's like, I know what it's called and stand up comedy.

I knew there was a name for it. A call back. I fucking love it. What I love about you is you are a pure bride, just like natural comedian and you can't just don't know it. Okay, I just, and you don't need the words. You don't need the, I don't need what the professionals are know it. Okay, I just and you don't need the words. I don't need

I don't need what the professionals are calling it. I know the feeling and the feeling. I'm fashionable and funny I don't want the vocab Okay, secrets of playboy basically he will like find a girl to groom as his main girlfriend He like to watch people have sex, but the way he did it was he would get the girl. It's kind of like Jeffrey Epstein. They find these women, their victims as well, to get trust in other women. So he'd like finally like room a girl after four months to be like, I want to do orgies with you and she'll be like, fucking fine.

And then he'll be like, go grab a girl and say we want a party with her upstairs. So she's like, this is super weird. But she goes, you go up to a girl and you go, hey, do you want a party with me and half upstairs. And obviously her eyes light up because she got chosen to go to hang out with half. I wonder how many girls that were like, nah, I think I'm good on that.

I feel like there weren't that many. They made it sound like there weren't that many that would say no, but there were a lot who after the first night were like immediately now and they left. I've seen, they were done. I've seen, what I needed to see. What I needed to see, you're done.

You're done. So there were a lot of in and outs, but he had this whole thing where he had staff who after a crazy orgy, their job was like to go in, clean all the dildos, put in a special thing, go back, put it back. Could you imagine, oh my God, could you imagine moving to LA

and your parents calling you and be like, how is it going, did you get a job? And you're like, yes, I clean up dildos. Like, how is that going over? I think you're explaining to your grandparents that Thanksgiving like, well, I washed down the dildos, I put them back in their perspective home. And I'm fucking good at that, okay?

And I'm the best at it. But I, I, people have to understand how grooming works. It's just like the Tinder Swingler, whenever one's like, I wouldn't give that money. It doesn't start immediately where it's like clean this dildo. It starts with like, oh, you're doing great. Right.

Like, you're doing great with the garbage outside. And next thing you know, it's like, could you do some stuff in my bedroom? Yeah. And next thing you know, you start to feel special that he like chose you to be there at the end of the orgy. I feel like that's also just like corporate America. So like you were so good at filing these papers.

You're now going to do 10 other people's jobs too. And you're like I. For the same salary. Yeah. You're like my mental health is dwindling. I love that you brought that up, and that was so genius of you considering you've barely had a corporate job ever in your life. But I like to pretend that I did.

I mean, I got coffee and answered phones, and like, forgot to write down who called. And like, someone called us. I forgot who it was, but we'll call back. Full transparency besides being very likable and fashionable and probably fun to be around. Were you horrible at your job? Horrible. Literally, the worst.

I know you've also loved you. I know she did, but I know it wasn't for the things. My work ethic. It certainly wasn't. I was the resident hot girl. So I walked in. I had a crazy outfit every day. I made a resident hot girl. So like I walked in, I had a crazy outfit every day, I made a few people laugh,

the snack fridge was always stocked. So I kept my job. I mean, in the first two weeks, she was like, I do have to fire you. And I was like, oh my God, why? And she was like, well, it's very simple. Please, you could come in anytime. We all love your energy.

She's like, you're just not doing your job. Your job is to literally answer my phones Give me the messages and you don't get anyone's name right Nor their phone number and it's the basis of your job For millennials and Gen Z's out there. There's so much answering phones in corporate America when like that is my Yeah, I feel like Gen Z's are at their job, and they're like, ew, just text me. Like, you're disgusting. I don't know how this works, this is really.

They're like, hello? No. My first job was in sales cold calling. I don't know how you did that. When I was on the call, I was good, but it would take me like 30 minutes to get the courage to make the call. I believe that.

Have you seen the take back of like, they're like Gen Z's as 9-1-1 operators and they're like, I'm manifesting life for you. We're not coming because like we're so busy right now and they're just overwhelmed, but like, I'm going to manifest you continuing to breathe and we'll just see what happens. Okay, just open to it now. You're just doing it at the time, Rester. Someone going, hey, do a mood board. I'm like, what you want your life to be

after this little blip. This is putting you down a different path and what do you see for yourself? Let's find out from a psychic what happened in your past life that's triggering you currently over this pasta fudge oil. And I don't want to sound necessary, honestly, it's a waste of oil for the environment. Yeah.

Do you want someone to come in a huge truck with all of that gas emission like into the world to save you? I don't think so. Greta, Thornberg, not happy today. It's called, I called her Thornberg. Like, what is that old Nickelodeon show? The, Thornberg, not happy today's clip. I called her Thornberg. Like, what is that old Nickelodeon show? The Wild Thornberries. The Thornberries.

Yeah. Which is actually my current spring aesthetic. The fashion. The Wild Thornberries was so before it's time. Oh my God. Nigel? Arguably is that it? Gen Z doesn't even know speaking of Gen Z

So they were like tide pods did it done were good Now they are inhaling Spray tan because it gets in your fucking bloodstream and naturally is making them tan I mean no one's done it. No, I bloodstream and naturally is making them tan. I mean, no one's done it. No one's done it. No one's done it.

I literally texted my mom. I was like, you know how will you say I try everything and I just like put whatever in my body that I want to? You're lucky I'm not inhaling my spray tan. She's like, hang up. Hot take, hot take. Have you ever smelled a spray tan? I've been like, I want to eat this?

Yeah. Oh, I know you're talking about this. This is, like, I can't eat this, but how good is it to smell it? Yeah. Wait, so tell me what the side effects are. So basically, doctors have come out and been like, stop doing this, okay?

Because we don't know. Immediately know. We don't know what is going to happen to you long term, but we know short term. It's not great. Just stop doing it. And there's all these. What is spray tin, is it? It's like some type of like nasal spray or something.

And like doctors would be like, okay, you tried it. It did work, but we're telling you it it's not gonna be great for the long run. And Gen Zs are like, you look great, you do look great. With your tan, we love it. The Gen Zs are like, whatever, I'll die pretty. And I'm like, you're stupid. The Gen Zs are like, the world is ending anyway.

They're not wrong about that, but like. I watch. We don't have to go out like that. I know, you don't have to go out with a a bang not like a little sniffle of a spray tan Have some fucking self respect wait, but you never you really never thought of doing it because that kind of sounds easier than like the whole Like putting up of like thing over your hand and like try not to get lines and then it's all sticky And then like honestly. I'm like, I sit here and I'm like,

I didn't think about it. And I'm thinking about it. But like, I know that I have a gag reflex immediately. So I know even if I did that, I'm vomiting. You know I have my nervous vomit. I'm probably gonna, it's gonna happen. And I don't wanna go through it. So the good, I mean, I'm not, but I you know I have my nervous vomit. I'm probably gonna It's gonna happen and I don't want to go through it So I mean I'm not a scientist, but it goes in the blood and then your body's like oh your blood's tan

We're tan now your blood's like Jersey shores on on Thursdays Speaking of Jersey shore what a segway Wow, I didn't want to do that. I found myself on Snooki's daughter's Instagram the other day. Stop. I that just made me feel so old. Snooki's daughter is a full-on, incredible cheerleader. How old is she? She's like, pre-teens. She's got to be like 12, 11.

I'm feeling like 9 or 10. Okay. I know for sure. But she's like on her way to being like full cheer mode. Like Rantio Cucamanga. So adorable. And like her whole page is just like her doing the sickest like back flips and shit. And I'm like your mom did that once drunk any out of the car. I saw episode four season three. She just like ends all her take-tox with like, AND where's the beach? Where's the beach? So adorable but think about it. Like Snooki's adorable, her husband's adorable. Of course they were gonna have like the littlest cutest most adorable girl. Her husband is so cute. Like he looks like a grown man, baby, an adorable toddler face.

Yeah. Like he takes baby face to another level. And he's also like probably five, seven, but they're a small family. Tiny, tiny family, don't take a lot of space. And Snicky walked so we could run, is all I have to say. It really is so true. I want to talk about the weekend and Simee Hayes and Bella.

I need you to explain this to me because this is a lot. So the only reason I knew it is because when Craig was like, did you know that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt broke up? And I was like, I can't believe this was my boyfriend the weekend broke up. No Craig texted me the other day. No My boyfriend the husband of front page no, we know you don't watch I mean did you know that I had a podcast like he was like, oh, yeah, I forgot you were funny right wait wait He was like, oh my god page Brad Pitt and Angelina broke up and I was like Yeah, you're the worst assistant ever

You're worse than me when I worked at corporate gig because that is embarrassing I was offended. I was so mad and I was like yeah And then I posted it and I was like Angelina has I was like, yeah. And then I posted it. And I was like, Angelina has been rumored to like be seen out with the weekend. And everyone was like, how do you not know about Bella and her friend, Simee? Now, have you heard of Simee? Simee Hayes? So when I do, you definitely see their their plastic surgery. So I follow all those like before and after plastic surgery accounts as I showed. Right. And these girls were like a caricature of like two very nerdy girls with like the frizziest hair

and like they they look like they purposely were trying to look like they wanted to get push into a locker in high school. Literally real life princess Diaries. They're like oh we took this and this and we made a princess like they look unrecognizable. It's wild., they're like, and we took this and this and we made a princess. Like they look unrecognizable, it's wild. But they're, so they're twins. So like they both went through the same princess Diaries like glow up. Yeah.

So basically they have been like best friends with Bella forever. Like they grew up together, they've known each other. And obviously if you like have the internet, you know that Bella and the weekend have a pretty tumultuous relationship in terms of he broke up with her and then he was dating Selena Gomez, Selena and Bella on Followed Each Other on Instagram, then the weekend and Bella got back together. I mean, there's multiple pictures of the weekend, Bella, and Simea, and like,

all, like, all hanging out, they were friends. And now Simea is dating the weekend. And I just, I couldn't even, is she dating her? Did they just make out in that one? I mean, there's multiple, they've been spotted out multiple times. I couldn't even, like, wrap my head around enough to be like, I need all the details I want to know because I was so disgusted by it because it's like after college, if you like, there's no excuse. If that is your friend's ex-boyfriend and they told each other that they love each other and now you're banging him, I don't care about you as a human.

I just feel like there's too many men in the world. This is what's getting even crazier. Did you see Selena post the photo with Sime on her own Instagram? Recently? Recently. That bitch. See, I literally go on your phone right now So no, so I look at it and I start to do some research and everyone's like oh my god Selena is so classy

She's saying she doesn't have drama with simmy But in my head in my head right I took it as oh you're saying fuck you Bella They're all saying fuck you Bella and like all Bella did was date the man first. First. Like I literally take it as Selena being like, Oh, it's so great. The Selena's like, no, drama idea the weekend now. You do I go, no, no, no, no, no.

She's saying fuck you Bella. No, I'm like, I just don't. Fuck with that. If you know your friend like someone, and then you're like, mmm, I don't care. I wanna see what his dick looks like. See you in court. See you in federal court.

Federal Supreme. That is some wild shit. Also, one more dope documentary. That's like crazy. Is the Boeing documentary on Netflix? Do you know what Boeing is? Yeah, the planes. Okay.

Girl, if you think I don't look a private jets to manifest, you got something wrong with you. You really? I mean, who doesn't want a private jet? I'll be honest, never found myself just shopping private jet. You know how some people are like, oh my god, I just love real estate and houses. And let me look up expensive homes. I'm like, let me look up a G5 and see what the seating arrangement really is like.

You know, my thing is, I think I'm just so cheap that I could never get my, like even if I make so much money, I'll never be that bitch who's like, I'm gonna buy that yacht or that plane that's so fucking expensive. Hannah. That's for like, Hannah. I have only flown private ones and when I stepped onto that tarmac, I was like, yes. Yes, I was born. So you're gonna be the friend with the PJ that you can invite me for? Do you know how much?

But the gas is for one trip. I am the Georgina of our friendship. She is. She is so generous. You are the Anna Delvi and you're like, are we stealing this plane? I'm out of bed. I'm out of bed.

I was getting so fucking rich. And we're trying to plan shit. And you have to talk to the other friend group. And you're like, guys, guys, guys, I know we love Anna. But when it comes to planning trips, we will be at a best western. And she will not even get us an Uber exile.

And it's going to be a fucking nightmare. So like give her other things to do, not the travel. It's gonna be a fucking joke, we'll take the LIW. And like I don't have time for this Hannah and your best western. I have time for this! Like why are you bothering me with this right now? I'm stealing a G6.

So Boeing, when I say C-U and federal court, C-U and federal court, and I'm not trying to say everything goes back to Bravo, but this is the same thing that Eric Good, James, husband got in trouble for. Yeah. Tom Girardi was the lawyer on this case and defrauded them, but anyway.

So imagine one day in Jakartaarta a plane goes down. It starts with the wife of this pilot being like, it was just another day my husband went to work and he didn't come back. Hundreds of people die in this plane and they're blaming him like kind of like, oh, like the pilots overseas, they don't get it. It's like he was trained in America, so shut the fuck up. Right. Boeing is like, there's no way it's us. There's no way it's us. Classic man. You're crazy.

You guys are fucking crazy. But this Boeing documentary is literally like, explanation of gaslighting. So then, like four months later, not exactly, but around four months, the same exact Boeing 737 MAX goes down in Ethiopia. Okay. This is unheard of for modern flying, for two crashes out of nowhere to happen of the same plane. And when I say, and they're showing stories of like these people on this Ethiopian plane were like people who were like doing charity work, people who were like building businesses,

like just like like real fucking like beautiful fucking people on this flight. They were like giving real stories behind it that you just like can't handle. But when he's like, yeah, you guys are fucking crazy. Like, it's not us, it's you. And they're like, okay, this is insane. So they do some research, it turns out, it all comes down to money. Boeing was like the best. You did your research, Boeing was the best.

Yeah, they were pro engineering, they were ahead of the curve. A new company buys them and decides they don't need as much quality control. They fire tons of skilled engineers and they just want their stock prices to go up and make the stockholders happy. When another company in Europe starts doing better, instead of them trying to make a whole other plane

to compete, they just like tinker with their current plane and they add this thing that like has sensors that if things fuck up, the plane just like nose dives. Yeah. And if that sensor is broken, you just nose dive to your death and didn't tell anyone about it and didn't really know the extent of it.

And that's what happened to both planes. They even, and they purposely did not even, the pilots didn't even know that this new thing was on because they didn't want to tell them because then they'd have to do additional training which was like expensive or something for them. So fucking greedy mother fucking gas lighters caused the death of hundreds of people. And the CEO literally got like a raise and like millions of dollars and Boeing got like sued, but the company got sued.

No individual person was held responsible. Fucking Tom Gerardi's scamming these people. And it was just the most fucked up thing in modern day for like people to die just based on greed. And this is why you should fly private. And now I fly private, it's a, it's a same thing for me. A cold back. It's pure safety.

No, that's so fucked up. Also like you're one of the biggest companies in the world. Like you have, you're held to a different, and they were just like, fuck it. We don't care. It's literally like they were treating it like you when you were an assistant, just being like, I'm just not gonna put this in the calendar and no one's gonna care. I'm like, who's gonna yell at me? Who's gonna know?

Who's gonna know I didn't do it? And they're like, no, you pushed me to text that girl because you've been acting crazy. That's exactly what they said. And the girls were like, I don't think that's how it works. So now I have super, I have a lot of trust issues that I'm dealing with because of that. Finally, this, guys, this episode is beautiful,

chaotic energy because it's so early, but I have to end with something positive. Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonay might be back together, making their network. It warms my heart. It's just like, it's what should happen. You know, like, I feel like dating nowadays, and like being married married It's so easy to get out of it if you want to and it's like No, hey motherfucker. You said your vows and so like you're staying like I'm really happy I'm I'm getting past the fact that I do think that they look like brother and sister, but I'm happy for them What do you think happened?

I think they probably just got annoyed with each other for a second and then you go out into the single world and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I take it back because apparently everyone's fucking nuts on here. Apparently I do want to stay married. And yeah. But talk about like being in a public relationship and having to deal with the backlash of like a full divorce and dealing with the whole press cycle and then being like, just kidding.

I kind of love that too. They're just like, got you all. We're back in the press. Someone's PR agent is like, yes. Yeah. And we love love. We love that. Thank you for giggling with us today, guys.

Thank you so much for giggling with us. Sorry, we were a little bit late with this episode. But we love you so much. Bye, guys. you