Giggly Squad - Giggling about slapgate, love vessels, and Paige’s hair

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

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What's up my little gaggle of gigglers? I thought we were going to do something with like from Boston, but then I was like, it's like way too witty. I don't know. Speaking of Boston, we did get in a fight because I was talking about the Yankees. It got a little heated. People got mad, but then we got a bad one.

We were like, hey guys remember, we don't give a fuck about baseball. So like, they were like great, I'll see you there. We had two of the most insane live shows at the Wilbur. And the Boston crowd is wild. We do this segment where we get a gig with his boyfriend on stage and we ask him questions and I'm not gonna lie. We're pretty fucking mean. Like sometimes I'm like, no, sign! Literally, I thought that the one guy, what was his name? Zach, I literally at one

point thought that he was gonna storm off the stage and be like, fuck you bitches. As if you're doing amazing, sweetie. Keep going. We're brutal. And the Boston crowd was really like, stone him. The energy was insane. Sometimes my ear drums were hurting. Sometimes I didn't know what you said. And I was sitting next to you and everyone's laughing so hard.

But I didn't hear it. The crowd was so loud. And I was like, wait, would you say? Like I want to laugh too. And then you were drinking my drink. Classic. How drunk did you get second show? I actually was fine.

Yeah, I was proud of you. I think you just blacked out the very first time because you were like, that was so nervous. Yeah, you were like, what am I doing? And then you're like, I'm gonna be present to the moment. I'm not gonna be here. Yes.

Too much for me to be at that first Philly show. I was like, this is terrifying. You're like, good night. I'm gonna exit. Do you want to discuss the star of the show? My dad. Gary. Gary, not only was our bodyguard, but then he disappeared for three hours and we're like,

where's Gary? Gary was taking photos with the fans. He was so confused at the whole thing. He couldn't understand that all of those people were there for us. And he couldn't understand that we had all these inside jokes. And he was just like, what is going on? Why would you want to picture with me? But he was like, okay.

Like, and it was cute because obviously he's a nice, traditional, big-hearted Italian man. And I was making like, labia jokes and all this crazy shit. Who knows what I said on stage. And after we're just like, I'm proud of you when you give me a hug and I'm like, he gets a big glare. He was just like, you guys are the fucking best. Okay, but we have to mention that before our first show,

are my mom and dad and my aunt Pam and Hannah's mom went to dinner at this Italian restaurant called Monaco's. So the girl that did our hair and makeup, her name is Haley Page. My parents were so start-structured with her because her husband owns a lettuce lettuce business And they like the best The best friend in the business and your dad was like I love romaine. Oh my god

Page you know that she's related to the romaine guy. Oh, we got to get Caesar salads for her I mean romaine. He was like I have salad I know about your lettuce like he lost his menu so star-struck So they went to dinner in Boston and Haley's husband got the reservation at this place Monica's and they said it was the best dinner they've ever had. That the restaurant was amazing that there was like a woman in the basement making homemade pasta. Which was. Hopefully she was there not against her will. Hopefully she was there not against her will. But then again if I'm going to be kidnapped, I'd like to be making Yokey.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But then they text us at like seven o'clock, my mom's like, we feel so horrible. We're running 20 minutes late to the show. We came all the way to see because they got distracted because they were eating Caesar salads and chicken Parmesan, which is the most typical Italian food. I mean, they were freaking out. We let them freak out though,

because we typically start the show. Like, we wait for everyone to get in. Like, we don't want to start right at seven. Because like, it goes around. You think at there, you think they're drink, then you talk shit, they're like, they're like, this isn't a library. We want you guys to feel at ease.

So like, we started like 15, 20 minutes late anyway, but we let them sweat. Oh yeah, I texted my mom and I said, so you don't love us. And they were like, you know, the traffic's horrible. And I'm like traffic, cool. I'm your daughter. I'm not a shining light.

I'm there, your reason for living. I'm literally the reason you're here. We did have some celeb droppings. Sierra and Maya showed up second show, which was so much fun. They sat in the crowd, because they did not want to go on stage, which is adorable. What does that like to not want to

be the same potential all the time? I was like, wait, let me do a full interview right now. Girlboss Town from TikTok. Yes, it was out our show. Give us a full analysis of our brand. She's like, I could tell you guys are putting zero effort into your video clips. And I don't know if that's on purpose or not.

And I was like, look, here's a deal. We're kind of afraid of our Gen Z correspondent who makes those clips. And we're scared to do any change. But anyway, we are going to upgrade to a studio soon. What apps? I will shout out to our Gen Z correspondent, though, because when I send from page news,

and then she gets the pictures that correspond, she's just too good. I mean, she's incredible at her job, her attitude lacking, but everything else really over the top incredible, everyone should have a Gen Z correspondent in their life for any reason. Yeah, I think you should have someone that works

with you that genuinely dislikes you. Because I feel like it really just only makes you better. Yeah, obviously this is a joke that she dislikes you. Because I feel like it really just only makes you better. And obviously this is a joke that she dislikes us, but she hasn't said she doesn't dislike us. She hasn't said I like you guys or I think you're funny. Never came close to saying that. But she's not working against her will, so. No, I mean, I've never seen her laugh, but it's, you know, we try and make a good work environment.

Also speaking of work environment, we did some work. This is a ski podcast. You guys knew we had to drop a ski collection. Right. We announced it a couple of days ago and it's popping off right now. Get it before it sells out. giggly-squaw.com. I love the color. I mean, it's like basically sold out. I love the color. I've been wearing a large all around the city with leggings and like cute sneakers and just snuggling around and I'm obsessed with it. I got a size medium in the sweatshirt, highly, highly recommend sizing up because it's just like cozy. Yes.

It's so cozy. And I got a medium in the sweat pants because I was like, this is that sweatsuit that, okay, you know, you have like that sweatshirt and like that comfy outfit in your closet. And like every couple of months you go through one where it's like the one that you put on every single time you get home. And it's like the one you put on where you're like, I'm having like a lazy night. Because it's like broken one that you put on every single time you get home. And it's like the one you put on where you're like, I'm having like a lazy night. Because it's like broken into, you know?

Yes, broken in! I was like, I know that this is gonna be my new sweatsuit that I'm like breaking in and I love. I have not taken it off. Like I just put it in the hamper. I honestly wear it until my period destroys it. For being honest. Eventually my period will ruin everything,

and I enjoy it until she decides we're done. No, that I get that. Okay, it's time. Because I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't been able to eat, my adrenaline is still pumping. I don't understand how anyone's getting worked on today. I need a full, I need to go to my therapist

to break this down. No, I wanted to ask everyone I interacted with today, like what they thought about it, but I didn't wanna be weird. Like I was literally standing at in my lobby, like waiting for my door man because I had to ask him something. And I was so close to just being like,

so would you guys think. What do we think? And it's so funny how you could say, what do we think? And they'll know exactly what you're're talking about because that is how much the world changed last night. And I you know me I do not voluntarily talk to strangers like I don't voluntarily try to bring up conversation to strangers. I went to the dentist walked in, looked the secretary in the eye and I go where do we go from here? I don't pitch. I actually haven't watched a ward shows recently but my mom and I got back

from Boston. She was sleeping over and she goes, how fun. And if we have a little girl's night, we watch the Oscars together. Oh, so you watched it literally a lot. I watched the entire thing and that's why when it happened, I started blowing your phone up, blowing your phone up. Yeah, you were my first text message. You were like, you need to see this.

I was shaking and I looked at my mom and she's like, and I'm like, I'm not sleeping tonight, bitch. This is, we're gonna talk about this for the next six months. Wait, can we just shout out Australia real fucking quick? Who doesn't censor their live television? I was like, yes, I was like pop off. Like why do we censor that off. Like why would an Oscar? They need to win an Oscar.

They need to win an Oscar. I was like, hello, ABC. Why would you censor this? This is the realist reality TV show I've ever fucking watched. So I of course had to make a TikTok real quick with the uncensored version, because I needed people to know before they started making assumptions.

Because what happened when you were, okay, what happened when you're watching live is Chris Rock comes on stage and I love Chris Rock. I think he's an icon forever and ever. And he basically kind of acts like a host and starts shitting on a bunch of the couples in the front. And he was making actually a very funny joke about how like Penelope Cruz and her husband are both nominated, but he can't win

because if he wins and she doesn't he can't enjoy it like it was funny yeah and then he turns to Will and Jada and to be honest the joke was not a well-written joke it wasn't really funny. He basically just goes, Jada, I love you. Can we see you in GI Jane 2? Yeah. And it cuts to me. Not knowing. Yeah. And it cuts to me.

It was loving it. And some people would be like, oh, he was an anger laugh. No, he was just laughing. And then I arguably, he didn't compare her to Humpty Dumpty. He compared her to a sexy Demi Moore. I mean Demi Moore. Yeah. I would love to get Demi Moore's take on this. I'm willing to share him Demi Moore. I mean Demi Moore. Yeah. I would love to get Demi Moore's take on this.

I'm willing to check on Demi Moore. Imagine being compared to Demi Moore, and then this breaks out. Demi Moore's like, um, excuse me. I looked amazing in that movie. You imagine someone comparing themselves to me and then their husband has to defend his wife against that accusation like that Demi more needs to see someone in court. That's what I know. No, Demi more is sending out a lot of

Summons and like seeing people in court a giggler DM to me and things really come full circle They said Will Smith cannot be managed and if that's what we learned from the night Will Smith cannot be managed. And if that's what we learned from the night, Will Smith cannot be managed. Will Smith cannot be managed. Basically it cuts to her face. And I think the audience sees the close-ups. And she basically did like a big eye roll. Like she, you know how you look at this a lab

in the only way they kind of laugh. And everyone's like, we're allowed to laugh. She did an eye roll. So the audience was like, and they cut to the Chris Rock. And he's like, that was a nice one. That was a nice one. It's okay. But then you see Chris Rock freeze and it cuts out

and you see Will Smith walking on stage, but Will Smith is like a theatrical dude. You're like, what's he gonna do? And he slaps this man, but also with such technique that it looks like this. That's the thing. I was like, how do you know how to slap someone with such precision? I didn't know that slapping could have such technique to it.

Even the way Chris Rock took it was so graceful. True, most fights wouldn't have seen actual fight. Everyone just kind of falls on the floor and it's not masculine or cool. I think Chris Rock was so shocked. He't even have time to like flinch like is this guy gonna hit me like he's behind us is back yeah he was like what's going on and he literally smacked them and there was a moment where Chris was like do I fight this guy but then what's methe immediately turned away but everyone still was like this is fake. I need, this is what I really need. I need the leaked audio from the producer's walkie talkies.

From when that was happening, I need to see what the fuck was going on in the control room that the director, I mean, he had to have been freaking out. Well, there's like a one or two or three second lag and they decided to keep the smack because they didn't even know what was real. Right. But then what happens is you see him get hit, he kind of looks at the camera and then it freezes because Will Smith is going off.

Will Smith is like, keep my wife's name out of your mouth out of your fucking mouth. Yeah. And then Chris Racco's wow, Will Smith just slapped the shit out of me. And then for a second, you could tell that he wants to go in on him. Like he's like, I could. And in that moment, I feel like he was about to stand up comic, like, unleash on this man.

Because I feel like there's a lot of skeletons in Will Smith's closet. Yeah. Okay. And there's one thing I will, I think we've all learned from this situation. Denzel Washington is in fact everyone's dad. Like, I see Denzel Washington on the TV screen and I sit up straight. I'm like, Denzel is in the room. You will pay respects. Denzel was like, no.

And I guess during the commercial break, he went over to Will and like a really fucking school term. Now, here is my opinion on the whole situation. Chris Rock made a very light-hearted joke. Chris Rock did not know that Jada Pinkett Smith was suffering from alopecia. So that's a whole separate situation. Also, the joke was run through like tons of writers and approved by the academy.

I do think they could have done a better job at a funnier joke. I also think like you can't touch people. Like can you defend your wife? Absolutely. You could have yelled from your seat. You just you can't touch humans. But I do have to say the whole like, we love a man defending his wife.

Jada is a badass bitch. I'm not gonna compare it to GI Jane, but she is a badass bitch. She does not need Will Smith to make it about him and bitch slap a guy on TV. To be, I felt like that girl in the bar whose boyfriend is like mad about something else and like is taking it out on some dude and like punches him in the face and you're

like, I'm so over you right now. Like I'm done. You're embarrassing me. You're toxic my salinities embarrassing me. Second of all, Chris Rock is one of the greatest comics of our time. The fact that Chris Rock was speechless, because you have to see that after it. You know what? You just found out, like let's say, you just found out someone cheated on you or something, and you're speaking, but you don't know the words

coming out of your brain. Yeah, I heard yes. He literally was like movie, document, people. Here's the clip. I haven't been in Pierce shock like many times in my life And I can't remember the last time I was in like Pierce shock where I couldn't speak But he had everyone in the world watching him not just that people in the room. I mean people that weren't even Watching the Oscars then tuned in because everyone saw it on Twitter and Hanatex did literally everyone in America.

Andy, Andy retweeted me because I was like, is this a Bravo Housewives reunion? Because then I was immediately thinking about Monique and Candace from Potomac because it started to get like that in Twitter where it was like, violence is never the answer. Then people were like, that man deserved to get hit. And I was like, oh my god, we needed to call it up in this bitch. And you should have tweeted and been like,

taking your questions for Will and Chris Rock now, reunion's filming, there is nothing. So the craziest thing is how good at acting these people are that everyone then goes on, like nothing happened. Nothing, nothing happened. I was like, this is a reality show because that was wild and no one's talking about it. You can't just act like nothing happened.

I don't know, so. I don't know which architect decided let's for the first time not have an actual stage that you have like steps to walk up and let's just put it right there was like, hmm, either it was a genius move or the worst decision, because then everyone is accepting their speeches

just staring at Will Smith, because he's right in front of the mic. Wait, what about how then Will won? So then, this is why I was hyperventilating. Will Smith wins, and we're all like, what is this man going to say? And he starts off kind of like he's gonna apologize. And I didn't hate the direction where it was going

where it's like, you know what, as celebrities, we deal with so much hate and we deal with so much scrutiny. Yep. But then it kind of stopped making sense to me and he's probably had like a great speech for King Richard and he kind of was like, do it for love. And then everyone. After he said, I love vessel, he lost me. I was like, do it for love and then everyone. After he said a love vessel, he lost me.

I was like, this is going in a good direction. Then I was like, what's happening? When he said it was a vessel for love, Twitter blew up because they were like, we'll Smith, I'm a vessel for love. We'll Smith two minutes earlier, slapping the shit out of Chris Rock. The tweets were hysterical.

Wait, how deep was when he quoted Donzel Washington and was like, when you're at your peak, that's when the devil comes for you? I actually love that. I felt it in my soul. I was like, now, is that really Donzel? Or are we having another mix up? Is that Ralph Waldo Emerson?

Was it Tanks? Did Tanks do that? Yeah, I was like, I don't know. So here are some of my favorite tweets. One was, men will literally win an Oscar for Best Actor before going to therapy. And then someone wrote, it'd be weird if Will Smith forgot to thank his wife, which I kind of think he did.

One of my friends at its moments like this, when you realize punching someone is only cool in movies, and then this woman goes, Will Smith gonna be on red table talk. Wait, I need that. I need that. I need to know, have you ever gone into like an actual physical fight? I have never been in a physical altercation.

I do have to say with all my drama I've had on reality TV, I just want to make it known not to brag. I've never gotten physical with anyone. I've never lost my cool. I will just cry and say stupid shit. You'll just cry. Yeah, you're a cryer.

On the tennis court, I broke rackets, but that was just cool to do. That's between you and the racket. Yeah. Have you ever got physical fight like you ever poke someone's eyes out with your long fingers? I've never gotten into a physical altercation with someone else, but I, one time in college, a girl did push me down the stairs. At like what townhouse party? I mean straight up just shoved me down the stairs and I landed at the bottom of the stairs and I did what any normal person does and I cried.

And I called my mom and I ran out of that party. I feel like I want to get in a physical altercation with someone. I haven't, I just, I want to, but it always feels unnecessary. I've never been in a situation where I was like, I need to punch someone. I feel like it's because we're now, like, we're third day. I'm just putting myself in third day.

Like, do you know that I would have to put on my back, my knuckle? Yeah, like, do you know the point now where it's like, we've never done it before, so we'd have to learn. So like, our natural instinct when we're fighting with someone isn't to just like, throw a right hook. Like, we'd have to really practice. Yeah, we'd have to like start taking self-defense classes and that's at least six months.

Then some comics were getting upset because some comics were like, is this normalizing? You can just go on stage and punch a comic when you don't like what they said. Like, is some drunk guy at a comedy club going to like think it's okay to do that? And I'm speaking just from the standup comedy perspective. And from people who were like, he was mean to her. Look, this isn't a troll on Twitter coming for Will Smith. This isn't like Oscar, like Rose, we're at the Oscars.

And people were like, oh, there's a history. The only history there is, because I thought this was a valid point. Until I looked, it's like, yeah, Chris Rock in 2016 hosted the Oscars and made some jokes at Will and Jada because they're fucking a list celebrities that were there. He also made a fun of everyone else. I thought that when it happened. I was like, oh, we fucked Jada. Like everyone's like, yeah, there's no way he's just mad at this one thing to get that mad about something and then to actually physically hit someone with your hand.

They, you have had beef. You have beef and it's not resolved and I need a documentary on that beef. I just want to say I love Will Smith but I have to give kudos to Chris Rock for how he handled it. Not being physical back, making sure that for these people who are nominated for dope documentaries got their fucking moment as well as he could because he could have gone off. And that could have gotten real ugly. The Oscars people are sleeping on the Oscars because the last time everyone was like all in the same room they announced the wrong movie. Yes the Oscars are chaotic. I mean it's supposed to be

like the most glamorous night, the most fancy night. The Oscars is Jersey Shore. It's getting wild. I'm sad for Will Smith though because I do feel like he's been dealing with all this relationship bullshit, and I'm sad that it's crept into his emotional well-being and that he got to such a point. I mean, that's why, dude, not to like say this is the reason, but it actually has no correlation whatsoever. But like he isn't an open marriage.

And I just really think, yeah, maybe it does work for some people, but I just, I feel like that has to bring up like other emotions that like just sit with you and then manifest in other ways. Like, you know when you're mad about something, and you just naturally take it out on your mom, because that's the easiest person to take it, but it has nothing to do with your mom. It was misprojected anger. Twitter was like, so should we just say right now

that open relationships don't work? And someone at Chris' stuff, and now the comic was like, look, I want to talk. He said in his accent, he's like, I want to talk, but their relationship is toxic as fuck. And then someone tweeted like, oh, Will's out here defending his wife who he's about to go home with and sleep in separate beds.

It's a little, it's a lot. I think Will Smith is dealing with a lot of public scrutiny on his relationship. And there's all types of conspiracy theories on their relationship that I don't even feel like I want to allegedly get into. Yeah, I mean, that's a whole thing. That was the most insane live TV moment I've ever seen in my life. When my comic friends goes, I'm gonna go ahead and cancel my roast battle with Jay toett's spin. No.

I mean, okay, also, let's not forget. Will Smith is fucking huge. I mean, his palm of his hand, I mean, it took up his whole, like, Chris Rock's whole face. Like, it has to be massive. Also, he took the time to walk all the way to him and all the way back. And yeah.

I mean, that deserved an Oscar because I probably would have gone up there and choked. I would have missed his face. I would have slipped on a banana peel, come out of nowhere. I don't know. I think. Nicole Kidman was like the best part of that. Better face than her picture. For the first time in 20 years. Yeah. Do you not like Nicole Kidman was like the best part of that. Better face to her picture.

For the first time in 20 years. Do you not like Nicole Kidman? I love Nicole Kidman. Oh, okay. I didn't know. Wait, can we talk about fucking Buzzfeed videos? And how they totally... Do we want to start a fight with Buzzfeed?

I mean, I want to start a fight with them, but they literally made a video in there. You know, you need some of the bitch laughs. Oh, literally. Because they made a video in their you know you know because they made a video and they're like people are talking about actors that play themselves in movies no matter what their characters and I was like people are talking about that the fucking giggly squad is talking about that I got so many message from gigglers being like Buzzfeed ripped you off do you know what this is what I think I think Buzzfeed has some fucking interns who who can't think of any new ideas and they love Giggly Squad.

And we gave that to you this time. But if you want another fucking article based on our highly produced premium content, you can get bitch slapped, okay? Yeah, that's crazy. I'll literally call Will Smith and then you'll have a problem. But then Jada? No, not Jada. His son tweeted, like, that's how we jaded. Yeah, that was like Jada. And then people were saying that he was supposed to open for Justin Bieber, like the night before in Montreal and he just canceled.

So we weren't happy with the Smith family currently. People are not happy about that. I think he could have, if he really cared about the alopecia, he could have taken that moment to either be like, not cool bro or like walk up stage, give him a hug and be like, I appreciate you trying to be funny, but alopecia's real and my wife is really suffering. And I just wanna raise awareness for alopecia.

Like how classy would that have been? Yeah, you know who's really happy right now? Who? Kanye West. K.O.R.D. Do I say justice for Kanye? Kanye somewhere being like, you know what? I needed someone to do something insane like this.

Well, Kanye was like parenting, co-parenting with Kim at a soccer game recently. Kanye's like turned to New Leaf. Kanye is like tweeting. He's like, yeah, if you want my therapist like a hook you up, bro Oh my god wait, okay, so since you watch the entire Oscars, who do you think is your best rest? Okay, Lily James was like amazing stunning and pink stunning and I actually thought Milla Kunis also was stunning in pink. Yeah. Do you

remember her look? Yeah. And then she had like that silk dress on. See I think Mila Kunis looked good but I feel like that's like I've seen someone wear that tool wedding. True. The winner for me was Timothy Chevrolet. Wow. You were into like the no t-shirt. Because I think it was like sexy for a man. Like he didn't show nips. It was like, he, Ben's wearing used to be so boring. I get that, but it was too like Broadway like costuming for me. Okay, yeah, it was a little rock star costuming.

Oh, okay, I have my winner. Okay. It just me saying a different person every two seconds. Yeah, the guy the boy from power of the dog He was wearing this like a blue was he wearing a blue suit like a blue suit. I love yeah Okay, my winner for for women was Zendaya Yeah, she was fucking good. I just thought she was amazing People were not loving Zoe Kravitz pink dress I thought it was spectacular. I don't think they showed her enough on the broadcast I watched I was watching E Yeah, they didn't show Zoe enough. She looked stunning. She looked like Audrey Hepburn. She looked like old Hollywood glamour, but like

feminine and sweet and pretty. I think my worst dress was Kristen Stewart. So I just watched something on TikTok about Kristen Stewart. She's basically like in this Chanel deal since 2013 and someone basically was like they think she could be murdering the red carpet, but Chanel is like holding her back in their silhouettes. could be murdering the red carpet, but Chanel is holding her back in their silhouettes. Okay, I, how dare that? Who wrote that article? Um, it was like a TikTok. I'm done with that person, because this isn't, Kristen Stewart is the first person that Chanel has like had as their...

Whatever, like a bad branch. I mean, it's fucking Chanel. So I feel like Chanel probably gave her outfit ideas and she said no to all of them because there's no way that Chanel would put her in shorts on the Oscar red carpet. I'm sorry. But they just like a zoom meeting. Like when you don't wear pants. Yeah.

And then she had like, like she could have done if she wanted to stay more masculine, like outfit-wise, she could have done a killer fucking, like, tuxedo, that Chanel could have, like, I'm angry about that whole situation. But it takes so many people to make these decisions just for- Yeah. For all their working force for us to look at it in the millisecond be like I like that or I don't but come on Kristen Stewart was wearing shorts I know I was a conscious

decision that was a choice that she made yeah it was a choice it's just not it's that okay if she wanted to wear that to the Grammys. Fine, go off, do your thing. But the Oscars has such a like heavier dress code, I feel like. What'd you think of Courtney Kardashians, like, classic black look? I was bored. I'm bored. You can remember it. You can remember it.

I just feel like they've been so in the media that it's just like, I get it. Now you're like a rock star, which here's the thing. I'm not one to speak because I do travel to Charleston and bring all my neutrals. But like, I just get annoyed when people change their entire style when it's like,

they're dating a different guy. I just don't like it. It's true. I don't know. I just thought that she could have had more of a moment because she's the first Kardashian ever to go to the Oscars and I kind of want her to show her sisters up. Is she the first Kardashian to ever be invited to the Oscars? Yeah. That's nuts. And I guess because he was playing drums for the we don't talk about Bruno. No, no, no. Oh, he was. And then I was like, did Chris Rock talk about Bruno?

That's what happened. That's what happened. That's what happened. I just watched that Disney movie on the airplane. I watched it. I want to finish house of Gucci on the plane tonight of on Ireland. Do you think Lady Gaga was snubbed?

Or it just wasn't a good movie? Because you can just put a bunch of famous people to movie and then act like you got snubbed if like everyone made fun of it. That's so true. Like you can just put tons of money into it and then be like, why don't you give me an asker. Do I think it was like Oscar award winning, acting? No but I didn't think that a star is born was either.

I know. I am in the very minority of not loving a star is born. I think a star is born though, shook our culture. The song, shallow, was played for two years straight. No, I know. I was like, OK, I don't really. But I'm not a cryer during movies, and I'm just like I was like okay. I don't really I but I'm not like a cryer during movies and I'm not like Yeah, we you're dead inside. We know I love to know

Two things about the Wilson Smith Kriz Rock event. Yeah, what did Jada actually say or what looked? Did she actually give that made Will Smith go from cackling to beat his ass? Yeah, and two What Bradley Cooper said to him for so long? Like Bradley Cooper was like talking. I miss that. Denzel. One other person and Bradley Cooper talked to him over the break, plus his PR person. Oh my God, his PR person must have just been like chain smoking cigarettes. Like, oh my God, I can't, I can't afford can't I can't afford this I can't afford this his PR team

They're having a hell of a day today. They were like come on. It's a fucking Monday and they're having a time They are I feel bad for that. I kind of like that Chris rock has been quiet and isn't I do too so it's so classy. It's so chic when you stay quiet There is something that's hot about like a Comic who just doesn't want to be in the limelight. I don't know is it aspirational maybe? Here's the thing like we love famous people so much, but when we see them too much We're like, oh you're so annoying, but then we when we it's literally like a girl dating a fuckboy Like you want what you can't have and and then when you don't see them,

you're like so intrigued by them, and it's because you make up stories in your own head. Yeah, well, you don't wanna get oversaturated in the media apparently, even though that's all Kim Kardashian does, but also Kim Kardashian and she's in a box. She's an anomaly. We're at the same vanity fair party yesterday.

Wow, I bet some tea was had. They definitely talked. Do you think we're gonna go to the vanity fair party yesterday. Wow, I bet some tea was had. They definitely talked. Do you think we're going to go to the vanity fair party next year? I think one day we'll go to the vanity fair party. We'll probably be like incognito as waiters before we... Wait, wait, wait. Remy Bader went to the Oscars and she looked fucking stunning. And she wore Michael Castelo dress.

I thought it was so chic, so entrenched. She looked stunning in it. Her hair and makeup matched it perfectly. Like I just think she did a really for not being like an a-list celebrity. I'm sure going to the Oscars, even the Remy is invited and she's important. Like that must have been so fucking terrifying. And to knock out of the park, your look must be so satisfying. Yeah, I remember it coming on my feed and I was just like, oh my god, bitch has arrived.

Yeah, she looked great. I will say I'm misdrown rivers though. Oh, I know. I feel like the red carpet is like missing something. You? I feel like that. But there has to be a way that like they can't like, okay, Joan. I know. Talked to the celebrities and they all loved her. But she like would make fun of their outfits. Yeah. You like and they took it into drive. Right now it's kind of a lot of dick sucking right now.

I do think. It's a lot of dick sucking. Who was the e-reporter who was interviewing everyone? Lover and Cox. Lover and Cox was great. I think she was really not awkward and very happy, but you're right. It's missing the edge, but also the edge has been taken away.

You're not allowed to do hot or not lists. See? I felt that Lverne was almost like nervous. I felt like she, I felt like she was too excited to fix everyone. Yeah, like, I felt like she was a celebrity doing that job. When like, doing that job, you actually have to be like a host. Like I feel like there are other hosts on E that are better. But like, I thought she was good. I just thought she, like, I got nervous when she would ask questions because I feel like there are other hosts on E that are better, but like I thought she was good. I just thought she, like I got nervous

when she would ask questions because I felt like she was like fumble. Belly point, bellied point. Yeah, I want someone who is not scared of losing their job in a way. Yeah, like like their job is just to get the tea. Either they're very funny, or they're just a little off,

where you're like, what are they gonna ask? Where are they gonna ask? I want those clips. She was being too nice. Yeah, she was almost feeding them answers to like are you having the most amazing time here at your first Oscars and they're just like yeah, yeah, and I was like no, I want someone to be like this is Hellfire I want to set someone up be like who do we hate the most here, you know? Yeah, like who is dresser? You the most excited. Who's the most blackout? Usually they don't bring, like who is dresser you are the most excited to be like, usually they don't bring it. Like who is just, yeah, like that. Like that. Like that.

What I need, that's what I need. Maybe we should try to break into Oscars and get those kind of interviews from people. Yeah, like I wanna know, what is your first thought when you like are walking out of the Oscars? Like are you starving? Do you wanna go party? Like who are you looking for

when you get to the Vanity Fair party? that's who's going to like set your night. Like there is something gross though about the hierarchy. We're like, obviously the people who are now I'm native for the biggest awards are like on the couches in the front and have access to be the shut out of the presenters if they feel like it. And then there's like the seat fillers and like the people in the back. Amy Schumer was funny with the seat fillers. Oh my God.

I forgot to bring up. I think Amy Schumer extolled the show, but I don't know if I'm biased. No, I think she did very what I think it's extremely hard, even as like a very accomplished comedian to host the Oscars. Yeah. And I think she did great when she got on stage after all that happened She was like oh, it was changing out of my Spider-Man costume. Do I miss something? Like yeah, when she came out and she's like

She was like the energy is different in here. What's going on? Like that was great must have been like I'm as an empath I feel like the energy was off after someone got bitch slapped I would have been we needed Megan Fox there we need a Megan Fox to be like guys we're gonna Fox throwing crystals at people also you know me like I can't not say what I'm feeling if I want to not screw up you know how this people are going up and they're like thank you so much I would have literally just been like, you guys, Billsmith, just slap Chris Rock, what are we doing? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's because they are comedians and it was just like a very shocking thing to be up on stage doing your job. Because guys, let's be honest, this wasn't a Dave Chappelle moment. He wasn't coming for like the trans community.

He made a GI J joke. Right, like he... And... Right. Feelings are valid. Like, I know there are certain jokes that I really don't find funny. And I'm like, ooh, I don't like what people do. But I don't hit someone from it.

What kind of jokes make you queasy? I would love to know that because I feel like you have such where you're like, yeah, whatever. To, like any pedophile joke makes me really queasy sometimes. I have two jokes, I don't find funny. I don't find nine to eleven jokes very funny and I don't love rape jokes, I don't find funny.

I don't find those funny either. Like I've seen all types and it just it's my own personal experiences that have made it like not be able to be funny for me. I guess that's it. Everyone has like a barometer. Yeah like some people really think 9-11 jokes are fun. I won't even I think it's too soon to even make like a 9-11 movie like when Tom Hanks came out the movie I was like nope too soon but that's my own set of activities. Right because because you were a little girl in New York City. I live through it. I like, yeah. Anyway, I'm not trying to make everyone cry on this podcast.

Yeah, Jesus, that really turned. Jesus. It's too much. It's too much. So... Wait, what else? I mean, what a world when I just like, I feel like I haven't had a second. I'm not even watching anything. I'm literally, there's nothing worse than being up to date with your shows.

Like, I'm up to date. I started a life of Beth. What do you think? Uh-oh. Like, I think it's okay. Like Like okay. I want to know what happens. I think Michael Sarah is fucking amazing. I haven't gotten to Michael Sarah part. Oh, so what if you watch the first episode? Yeah, I'm like, oh, I like it. Oh, then I'm not going to give you my deep-dye opinion until you watch it, but um, yeah, I'm just,

I'm, it's like okay. It's okay. Did you see Nicky Glazer is, has a reality TV show coming out on E? No. Oh, because you don't watch the Oscars. Okay, so she has the funniest ads. She goes the first time someone said I was going to be on E was in college and I don't remember it or something and then she goes the second time. Someone said I was going to be on E. You were like, did the streaming services say no? I think she goes the third

time. Someone said I'm going to be on E. I was like, why not Bravo? Because Nikki is a summer house stand. Nikki used to text me through the episodes. She loved reality TV and she was like, Hannah, I want to do it. And I was like, Nikki, don't do it. You're too talented, don't do it. And she was like, she started doing FBO Islands and I was like, that's perfect. But she was like, yeah, this isn't enough. The concept is, she moves back to Kansas City with her parents and she like kind of rickendals old love and I think it's called home sweet home with Nikki Glazer and Drew Colin is on it. So everyone gosh, I can't wait.

I'm so excited. I'm proud of her because with her, I was like Nikki, you have a bazillion things going on in your life, touring, specials, hosting, roasting, whatever you're up to. But she wanted to do a TV and I think it looks really good. Whew. whatever you're up to, but she wanted to do a TV. And I think it looks really good. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Reality TV is. Reality TV is something. I'm telling you. I tweeted, I go down. That was the most dramatic should I've ever seen. And I did drunk blackout reality TV where you get paid to fight for three years. And that's just insane in the membrane. Anywho. Yeah. And the other show that I'm watching is drop out and I'm up to date on that and I'm up to date

on Jersey Housewives. Like I'm just over here wasting my life. I'm in a sea-freeed siphereed so good. She's so fucking good. Oh, can we talk about Pete's tattoo? Kim is my lawyer. I mean, Kim is my lawyer. My girlfriend is a lawyer. My girl is a lawyer, yeah. I forget, because we did a live show,

so it's like we talked about. I'm like, wait, they already heard about it. I think we need to tell the rest of the gaglers what we think. Do you want? Can I tell them about your tattoo? Yeah, tell them about my tattoo. Pay just got one that says my boy is kind of a lawyer too. So. My, yeah, my boyfriend might be a sewing lawyer.

So, allegedly a lawyer. And here's how I feel about the tattoo. I feel like there's people in the world that like really think about their tattoos and everything has significant meaning and they're like, this is my dreams. Work up sketch to this for two years and they feel very connected to it.

And then there's people that are like, I don't give a fuck, put it on my body. And then there's people that are like, I'm too scared to ever get a tattoo. I'm in that category. Yeah, same. Wasn't Pete removing all his tattoos? I know he got it, like he got it like right on like his office.

Very visible. Yeah, very visible. I did like the font. I did like the font though. I did like the font. It looked like a six year old. Yeah. I do think that he has so many tattoos that it's true.

Like you don't even, it's like when you're staying up late and you're like 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, who even knows at this point? It's late. The man has a lot of tattoos. But let's remember, he got a tattoo of Ariana Grande's like, bunny thing on his neck. You know, this is his thing.

Yeah, like this, yeah, like this is a huge gesture. Yeah, but they're honestly, they're lasting longer than I thought. And it's starting to worry me Where I'm like it's always the ones you wouldn't suspect I feel yeah, but I feel like if you could get through those initial months With all that shit. It's like yeah The question is is I don't know if he's gonna want to film on the reality show right?

I genuinely feel like if you in the first couple months of your relationship are throwing some shit, it only makes you stronger. Like look at you and does you're married. Trauma bond. Trauma bond. I'm one of the most hated bravo couples. I will say, like when it first started happening, then people just fucking despised Craig and I. I was like, oh my God, this is wild. Cause I'm I crazy that I'm so happy in my relationship. And then I was like, wait, I kind of love this. But it's also like, people loved you guys.

So obviously that's boring. They needed to then be like, do you love them? It's like, did Hannah find the love of her life? Or is he the worst? Like, it could, like, honestly, page, it could have been so nice. Like, when Des visited and just been like, wow, Hannah found this incredible guy. But instead, it's like, does he just ignore everyone all the time? Even though we hung out with everyone the whole time, but they didn't show it. So I got it. I got it.

I got it. But like, I honestly, you feel like it's been a positive experience overall. It's been a positive experience overall because I'm just like, wow, I'm so in love with my boyfriend. And like, I don't even give a shit if people don't like us because I love him. It's so lonely when people are just hating you. but when people hate you as a couple, you literally have someone to go through it with. I'm like, Craig, have you not seen how fat we're getting? And he's like, no page. I'm like, well, we are. Okay, the fact that people are fat shaming you as a

relationship is fucked up A, but B, it means you're in love because couples who don't That's called love weight. That's called your fucking in love. You're Return my ass for anything like I don't leave my apartment like Craig came here for a couple of days and Typically Craig is the one that's like let's go to dinner Let's see these people. Let's go out like let's make our rounds with like his friends in New York of like who we need to see couple lies and stuff. And this was the first time in a while that he was like, I am not leaving this couch. And I was like, I've never been more in love with you than in this fucking moment. Like knowing that I'm not leaving for the next 48 hours is the best thing to ever here. But also when

you're so exposed all the time, sometimes you just don't feel like putting yourself out there actually and it feels really good to be under the covers and just like, I'm gonna sit here and exist. But I'm glad that you two are being very like communicative and being able to, it's weird having people, how weird is it? Cause Perry was always out of the picture.

How weird is it for people to literally? Well, and it was like the things when I dated Perry, like it was me taking it all on on myself. Like he didn't really understand that like if people hate you online, like he didn't understand that mentality. And so to have Craig like understand what's happening, it is a very different emotional response.

You nailed it. It's that you're both in it together and you both understand each other. So when you feel down like, like an accountant could never understand the kind of thing. Never. Never. And Craig is very like if I can count and could never understand the kind of thing. Never. And Craig is very like, if I say something, he is immediately giving me a solution. And like a couple months ago, when we first, like, people were really like attacking me,

I was like, look, I love that you're trying to give me a solution, but I need to just vent and be sad. And now he'll be like, fuck that person and like, who gives a shit? Like now he like lets me live in that and then the next day he's like, okay, don't read anything and like don't stuff. Well yeah, you have to feel to get over it. You can't just be really do.

Yeah, you really do. You really do. And it's hard because it is obviously healthy to just ignore it all, but sometimes when there's a car crash, you just wanna see it. You just wanna know how bad the crash is. You definitely have to feel emotions

to get over them because I used to be someone that would just be like, oh, it didn't happen and ignore it. But it's still in you, you're just ignoring it. So you have to deal with it at some point. Now I just did outfits for your batch of apartment. Okay, so we have our outfit choices. Can I tell the gigglers?

Because I feel like they've been part of the planning process anyway. Yeah, of course. OK, first night we're doing feathers. Like a feather look. Do you have it yet? Yep. What color are you doing? Baby blue.

I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Thank you. I'm doing baby blue. Then we're doing space cowgirl, which can be interpreted in many different ways. Yeah, I'm having a tough time with space cowgirl look. I think it's honestly just getting a cowgirl hat and then wearing some shiny shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then the last one. I'm processing.

Yes, the last one is Euphoria, which we had to do. We had to. And I'm just really excited to see it. We have good themes and we have a funny group of girls. And I'm going to book a hair and makeup for every single night because I need some help. For me and you. For me and you. Yeah.

Is that my gift? Yeah, that's your gift. Pages gifts are always like like don't fucking embarrass me My gifts are also like and I'm gonna do it too. I know you're like Like and also I'm gonna have fun with you for this gift You my friend just so much she got her boyfriend on a special machine because she was like, because I need coffee in the morning. And I'm like, that's genius. No, that's genius. Um, I'm excited for Miami. The wedding is

in under two months. Wow. So I'm going to Ireland tonight to like meet Des again. Remember who he is. I haven't seen him in three weeks Wait Hannah, that's crazy. I hope he hasn't changed Dromach are you excited to meet like his family over there like his wife and his kids and their two dogs? I told him like the less I know the better because I think it'll start affecting us like I'm supportive of them But I just don't, like I feel like if I meet the dog, I'll get attached, you know, I'm praying she's not blind.

I'm like, she's like four families. I do think there's something fun about we were spent every single day together for so long during quarantine. So right before the wedding, to like have some time apart is really funny because it's like I think it's crazy Yeah, I do like do like a month apart like fuck the night before don't see him do a month apart

See if you need each other Because it gives you those butterflies. I feel like yeah, like I think he actually misses me which is Like fun because I didn't have to do anything. Yeah, I feel bad. I'm like me and Craig feel not bad with each other, but it makes people uncomfortable when we're like, we love long distance. I love missing Craig and being like, I am gonna squeeze your fucking head off.

It's fun. It's hot. It's hot. That's why when people are trying to move in, take your time. Take your time. Yeah. Or move in early to find out if you like can do it long term and you hate them Like make sure that you don't just like missing that make sure you long-term like them like them Yeah, no that would be a key is a dopamine hit like it is a high like sex

After not being with someone for a while insane Like sex after not being with someone for a while. Insane. Insane. It's honestly like you're cheating on him. I'm like, who is this man? I literally told him, oh, I'm gonna tell the gig list first. So I'm in the process of deciding like, if I want to drop my hair or not.

This is huge. It's really big. And I think I'm being swayed into one decision and I think that is I am going to drop it. But I told Craig the other night, I was like, I'm not going to tell you when I chop it. And I just want you to be like coming over and like, you're literally having sex with a new like different girl. And we're very, and you're going to

have an accent and your name can be. I'm just going to be like, and I was warning him, I was like, I need you to know that like, I am different with short hair. And he was like, everyone says, once you get I was like, I need you to know that like, I am different with short hair. And he was like, everyone says, once you get to six months, it just changes, is this what you mean by that? And I'm like, I'm different. She's sassy or she's bitchy or she's different.

There is this was a wedding where instead of a second dress, she had a second look where she cut her hair. I saw that TikTok. I saw that TikTok on that. I saw that. Yeah, I was like, holy shit. But I would never have the confidence in myself. Like, me fresh off a haircut is a nightmare. Like, I think I would do that.

I hate myself. I'm like, I have to wear my hair in a bun for at least three weeks. Like, I cut one inch and I'm like, I can't do it. It's like the dentist for me, get cut in my hair. For you, a fresh cut, it's off the runway. Your thought will be like, wait, I might do that for my second wedding dress.

Also chop my hair. I thought you were gonna say for your second wedding. I'm like, what? No, because I'm planning for yourself, bitch. I want to have long hair during my ceremony, but I want to be like, she can cool for my reception. So after I'm married, my first husband, I'm gonna have a second husband.

I'm gonna have short hair. I think I also might do a second dress for the reception. Were you not? I wasn't going to. Hannah, oh my god. You passed it. This is a problem. Doesn't I?

We're like very into like garage wedding, right? But then since I've been away from him, I've gone off the deep end. I'm just like with my wedding planner, just like yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, you're like, and now we have swans and fireworks and devs, and I don't know what's going on. We have a full human sacrifice at 10 p.m. with fireworks. So there are dolphins. And I like haven't told does some of it, So that's what our meeting will be about in Ireland.

I'm going to tell them what our wedding is. So that'll be a fun journey. Wait, I would love for you to do a second wedding dress. Handi, you could also do something so much more you and it doesn't have to be weddingy weddingy. And you don't have to change into it right in the beginning of the reception. You can wait.

Yeah, you do at the end when people people are really drunk and then you're like, Yeah, you're like dancing. You could do a short dress. You could do a jumpsuit. You could do a, I haven't gotten this excited in a long time. Wait, what is Craig think of your short hair? You know guys are like a really opinionated about that stuff randomly sometimes. Like, I do like red lipstick.

It's like, you know, he's seen pictures of it and he likes it. He also met me with short hair. Oh no, but he, we didn't really hang out. So he doesn't really know me with short hair. But he's like, I mean, you look hot in pictures that I've seen. He's very like, do whatever you want. Like, I don't know.

Okay, we love a supportive king. Yeah. Do you like his hair the way it is? like I like do whatever you want like I don't like we love a supportive king yeah Do you like? His hair the way it is. Do you want him to grow it out or like make it short? No, I love it the way it is. I don't like long hair on guys. I don't like super short hair either I like that he can like push it back and gel it like Aaron Samuels This is a barber shop pod well done to the shop This is a barbershop pod. Welcome to the shop. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us. Check out our ski collection online. We are going to have dates for New York City, for DC, for more places coming up slowly but surely we're going to go to your city bitches. Yeah, we definitely are. We have this down to a fucking science now.

Yeah, and we'll talk to you later guys. Bye! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪