Giggly Squad - Giggling about Trevor Wallace, brunettes, and blue balls
Episode Date: October 3, 2023We never have guests, but Trevor Wallace is a girls girl so he made the cut. Everything you've never wanted to know about men was answered and the NY v. LA debate continues. Hosted on Acast. See acas...t.com/privacy for more information.
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I'm in the day just got away from me. What's up, giglers?
We're just going straight in.
We have a man on the plot.
Yeah, so it's chaotic energy.
It's scary.
It's an honor to be the first girl female boss on this plot
that I've been grabbing me.
This is Trevor Wallace who is a girls girl.
I'm not the girls.
He cares.
No, literally he's a girls girl. He cares for the girls. He cares for- No, literally he's a girls girl.
He cares for the girls, he's out here for the girls,
he's a feminist icon, he likes cats.
And men piss me off too.
All the-
All the-
Everything they do.
You got honestly-
You should've sped up.
No, no, we hate him.
I saw a reflection, a shadow of my posture the other day.
I was like, I wouldn't fuck.
I would not fuck.
Like, dude, it's bad.
Like, my head is like leaning like this.
Like, what am I leaning forward to? But I feel like a girl will see that. And I do, it's bad. Like my head is leaning like this. Like what am I leaning forward to?
But I feel like a girl will see that
and I'll spiral for like three months
and get like a whole new workout regimen
where a dude will just be like,
yeah I'm unfuckable and forget.
And I literally wanna get Botox in my bag.
Just so that like I look really good
if you're having sex with me from the back.
Wait, get Botox in the back?
Yeah, like you can just put like a little Nintendo DS back there.
Guys won't, but like fuck yeah, fuck it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and both talks and it's supposed to make your back look like so hot because I too will walk by like my reflection.
I never say won't fuck though.
I'm like, oh my god, she's stunning.
But like how much could she get better?
Wow, no, my ex had really good lats
and I feel like I could just hold on to him and doggie.
That might be the worst.
Was there ex-Michael?
No, no, no, no, but she did CrossFit.
She had like, callus in her hands.
Oh, yeah.
I was getting jerked off my cousin.
Wait. Sorry. If you guys don't know Trevor, like, call us in on a hand? Oh, yeah. I was getting jerked off my cousin. That's a wait.
Sorry.
If you guys don't know Trevor, he is incredible content
creator, podcaster.
He's a stand of special coming out.
November 14th.
We love.
And he has stiff socks with Michael Blowstein
that we won in such a fun episode.
His favorite.
He reminds me every week.
All the time.
So you guys have a lot of porn stars on it.
I didn't realize.
We've had like five on.
It's just like those are the episodes that do the best.
Yeah, those are the ones I always see.
So they do better than ours.
Oh,
page and I are like slutty from the mouth.
That is a great slogan.
So I didn't even mouth this great merch.
Like you never know what's going to come out of my mouth.
That's so weird.
You don't have to pay for it. It's a slut out of my mouth. That's so weird. That's good.
You don't have to pay for it.
Cause it's sliddy from the mouth,
not sliddy in the mouth.
Two separate meanings.
Sliddy from the mouth is a really good merch.
Yeah, like you will feel like you got fucked
after hanging out with us for-
You're gonna be like, fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
This is basically a threesome emotionally.
A emotional spet-
A emotional threesome.
Well thanks for having me.
You're welcome. You said you were thrift shopping. Emotion through some. Well, thanks for having me. You're welcome.
You said you were thrift shopping.
I was thrifting.
You were thrifting in May, 100 to go.
I got thrifting in May, I got.
You invited people on your story to thrift with you?
I got so attacked.
Dude, just like Google.
I, I have a thrifting app.
You do?
There's a thrift app for New York City.
But I went to Portland, May, and I said I wanna thrift.
It feels like so on thrifty though. You think it'd be like, you just saw like a QR code app for New York City, but I went to Portland, Maine, I said I want a thrift. That feels like so unthrift you though.
You think it'd be like,
you just saw like a QR code on the ground
and say, you can app.
No, it's a way for a pigeon to just be like,
follow me, I know, deal.
You just smell somebody smoking Winston's,
and you're like, oh!
This might come as a complete shock to you guys,
but I've never gone thrifting.
So everyone kept saying,
are you paint pranking Paige?
Like Paige is so mad right now.
And I try to on all these fits, everyone's attacking me.
And I'm like, imagine them styled,
like imagine them with a bell.
Like imagine them with a moment.
And yes, I am pranking me.
Imagine if I burnt them all, you know?
Like, it's just so crazy.
I have nothing against thrifting, like all thrift.
I've just never been, I've just never been in this situation
where someone's been like, come thrift with me
or I've walked by and been like,
I'll go into that shitty story.
I always say thrifting is like online dating
because you're like, why didn't no one want this stuff?
Right.
That's good, that's funny.
Like, there's gotta be something wrong with it.
You are not worth that much.
You put all that of tears on you.
And you're like, oh, how did no one pick this?
And then you put it on and it's like, it's itchy.
He's an SSS. You're like, yeah. He's really charming up first and then you're like, ooh, how did no one pick this? And then you put it on and it's like, it's edgy. He's an SSS.
You're like, yeah.
He's really charmed me up first.
And then you're like, I'm gonna say it's fine.
I'm gonna say it's fine.
Yeah.
It is an insane mom.
You're googling what is a narcissist.
Do I get an STD from this weather?
Yes.
Yes.
So I'm excited to be here for fall page.
Do you like Trevor's outfit?
Quarter-Oi, sleeve the two short.
I am into it.
You know, about...
Actually, I noticed when you walked in your sneakers.
Yeah, good or bad.
Blasers?
I swear, I just wear blasers every day.
I don't know.
It's just like a right down the middle answer, you know?
No, you look cool.
When you come to New York, you think like,
oh, I gotta dress more like New York, you do.
I'm not more so like New York,
not like the fit of Brem to the side.
It's 9 p.m. right here.
A Nelly banded.
Yeah, but like New York now is, it's very just, the fashion is so good.
Take a shot for every time you see girl with the date as you block out.
Yeah.
Everywhere.
No, but I do feel like here, you gotta come with the better jokes and the better fits.
Yeah.
Oh wow. Well, what it is, there's no cars out here.
So when you leave the house, your outfit is everything.
You're out.
True.
I can wear a shitty outfit, but your boy's got a Tesla.
So it's like, I'm in the middle of the round.
I love how you just drop that for the gig, like.
It's the cheapest, I love the gig was by the way.
That one at my show, nice lady.
But it's the cheapest Tesla they have.
What, like, got a stick suck bike, okay?
No.
Oh my God, what you did?
Hey, she's more than a gig with that knife.
Gagler.
Yeah.
Aren't they just so nice as well?
It's honestly so nice.
I just read lady.
I'm just reading lady.
She's probably listening.
I miss you.
I'm, yeah.
Nice.
Yeah, she came to my shop.
I'm back.
Come on.
I'm biased, but I think the Googlers are so good looking and and so successful and so smart and they dress so well. They do one time
We were at a at a giggly squad show and they were all like doctors lawyers and we're we're just like wondering why
Why like if I knew like a surgeon was listening to giggly squad
I'd be like let's actually I can't water cutting somebody's body
Oh my god was listening to giggly squad. I'd be like, let's actually, I can't. While they're cutting somebody's body, you'll be like, oh my God. This bitch went thrifting.
Oh!
Do you know what four plus four stands for?
Jeep Wrangler, four by four.
I got nothing.
I actually believed him.
What's four, what is four plus four?
Four means eight.
What's up?
Like eight. Oh, God. What's that? Like eight.
Oh, God.
That's our new thing.
Wait, I had another really good Instagram caption
today of all my outfits.
What'd you do?
Throwing fits, right?
Throwing fits, that's a podcast, a great podcast.
For someone who can't write a full paragraph,
or read your captions or something.
So I can't even send a text, I'm gonna be honest.
So good.
So fucking good. I just want to send a text. I'm gonna be honest so good so fucking good
Um, I just want to ask you that I
Have a great caps. I don't know where to put it, but it was what was it? Shotties much
What was it? Shottie must be from Dexter's lab because she got them DD's
Dexter's lab. Yeah, if you want to show ground up the sister's DD. Yeah, DD's a cartoon
Cupside always that what that is?
I thought you were good, because that was so niche.
Yeah.
That was so niche.
Also, I have just to make a point about jeans, because it's getting cold out, which means
we gotta start pulling out our jeans.
Right.
And I pulled out some jeans.
And my jeans didn't fit.
Mm-hmm.
I'm really vulnerable right now.
It was like a sausage in a fuck, it wasn't going in.
And everyone's so obsessed with like fitting into old jeans.
And I'm like, these jeans are fucking disgusting.
I've never washed these jeans.
Like all less, does anyone wash jeans?
I've never washed a jeans.
Why are we trying to fit into old jeans?
Throw the smelly fucking old jeans away
that have no stretch to them.
It's not my big ass.
It's these old ass jeans.
People were like, I need to get into my jeans
from when I was 18.
There's mites in those jeans.
Throw that in a wig.
We should hear that in Paris right now
while everyone's there for Paris Fashion Week.
There's a bed bug situation.
And, which I don't even get how they would figure that out.
It's good to be on a fire festival
for New York Fashion Week.
Like all the fashion girlies are just like,
everyone's talking about like having bed bugs.
And I think that's just like,
and there are like,
so the worst thing you get a facemake.
You get a facemake.
You're like,
are our bed bugs the new ones I'm back.
It is.
It's in the scratch.
What is part of me think it was like,
one of these model girlies who live
in these model apartments in New York City
that are just like,
they sleep on like the floor.
They brought the bedbugs.
What are you gonna do about the gene situation?
Oh, I found a pair that fits me.
Made well, amazing.
Made well, great brand.
Do you wash your genes?
Like how long do you take to watch your genes?
Usually when I like move apartments.
You know, like just wash everything. No, realistically, not until I spill on them. I'm like, just watch everything.
No, realistically, not until I spill on them.
Like I got some mustard on a pair of jeans the other day.
I feel like that's me too.
Like not until there's a noticeable stain
in my washing my jeans.
Because once you wash it, it's not the same.
It's not the same.
It doesn't fit, it's not the same.
My favorite is when you find a pair of jeans or any pants
that you're like, you've been neglecting for years
and you put them on randomly one day, you're like, hold up. I've had these. It's like when you find a song of jeans or any pants that you're like you've been neglecting for years and you put them on randomly one day
You're like hold up. I've had this this whole thing. It's like when you find a song
It was on shelf and you're like where the fuck is been my whole life?
It's like that girl at DMs you every day. Hey Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Also, do you know what happens to men? Sometimes they'll pee. And they'll hold on. They're not even a pee spot. Yeah, it's true.
Wait, they also don't like ice move.
We get excited, we want to get back to the game.
Stop peeing already.
Peeing takes too long.
I don't know why I just thought about this the other day,
but like I was thinking about guys peeing and how they don't.
We don't.
They don't ever have to like wipe.
Like they don't wipe when they pee.
No, they like flee.
Like, they don't have to.
Like, as a boxers are there for.
And I just find that to be.
Oh, if they go where boxes, then it gets on their pants.
It pants.
And then do you wash it after that?
The pants?
No, I wear boxers.
Who's raw dog and denim?
That's insane.
What are you trying to do?
I know a guy.
I know a guy.
I know a guy who wears no underwear under.
Cause you never know when you all whip it out.
Well, in this economy.
And I always think like, okay, when you're putting pants on
and then it has a zipper, how often are you thinking like,
oh, don't get my deck.
Because I feel like I think about it.
Oh my deck is down by my ankles right now.
No, I mean, pretty, well, that's why Boxers, you never have to think about it. Oh my dick is down by my ankles right now. No, I mean pretty, well that's why boxes,
you never have to think about that.
Boxers are just like, you don't wear box of reefs?
Yeah, the ones that hug your legs.
Why are you smiling?
You thought you got me for a second.
It's funny, it's like you got me.
You thought you got me.
And then think about them in their underwear
and like what is their underwear of choice?
So when do men go from boxes to box of reefs?
Cause I feel like it's like a moment.
Yeah, it's like an age thing.
The locker room in high school really like shapes who you are.
Like you see somebody use an axe body spray?
Like, oh, I gotta use that.
My brother was fucking hot boxing me in that shit.
It was like, um, Chernobyl in my fucking house.
Sweeped up when you were in high school.
And like the first time you were in a locker room,
like did you play sports in high school?
No.
You weren't like, I thought about it.
I thought about it. I thought about it.
I like what's in the guys.
I tried it for the golf team,
but as a junior and they drafted scout it,
I don't fucking know.
They got two freshmen twins.
They're like, they have more potential to grow than you.
Okay, so they were like, fuck off, Trevor.
Yeah, but what are they doing now?
Do they not talk about boxers and bush-quake?
I don't know how much.
Wait, because I remember when guys were wearing boxers
and they would show it on the top of their pants.
Like, that was very New York.
Yeah.
He's wearing boxers.
And then one day they all showed up in their gray box
their briefs.
And I'm like, when did you become a Calvin Klein model?
When did you transition?
Yeah, probably high school, I think.
At some point like that.
Did you feel like a new man?
Well, yeah, it feels great.
You feel like if somebody were to pants me right now, good.
I get, my thing is like,
because in high school, when girls are changing,
it's not like we look at each other's boobs
and are like, oh my God, your boobs are very big.
I mean, maybe, I just feel like it's more of a moment
for guys in high school when they see each other's dicks.
Like, is that when you know if you have a big dick or not?
And then is that like shape, that shapes who you are?
Doesn't shape who you are, shapes how you respect a man though.
Okay.
Like you know, Ronnie's fucking pack it.
Yeah man, you can cut me in line.
That's like the one wide guy in the group
who never says anything funny,
but they all fuck with him.
Yeah.
He means he has a good.
Oh you guys are packing him.
True.
Sometimes it's a gun.
I feel like if I was a guy, I would get bad luck
and I'd have a huge dick, but I'd be a grower.
So every guy would meet, I'd be like,
yo, I'm not turn on right now,
but like, I'm huge when I get turned on.
I feel bad because I just love,
I just love your like boy,
like when you're like imitating a boy,
like how you, you're like arms.
Oh yeah, I'm going to like this. Like they can't really go. They can't really like, Iitating a boy, how you're like arms. Oh yeah, I'm going to look good.
They can't really go.
They can't really like I have a tiny, small pee pee.
But then I, you know,
I always is a thing.
Yeah, I don't understand what you guys said.
I just show us.
They just up, like there's no grow, they're just want.
Yeah, they just wake up in the morning.
I love how we have a guy in the pod
in the whole time where just like what are penises?
What have they made of?
All the way up. What's it like just are penises? What are they made of?
What's it like just walking around with one? I mean, I think something winging back and forth all the time. Well, that's
I don't know what guys are hanging out with in the NBA, but I don't know about a swing, but there's a little bit of a seesaw in there
Yeah, I don't know but what girls, girls were in boxers this fashion now.
New Yorkers.
Sometimes I wear them to bed.
No, but I'm saying out.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
New York fashion is great.
Like, it's like a Tuxedo jacket in boxers.
Yeah, the girls are definitely dressing different
than the LA girls.
Well, the LA girls dress after New York girls.
New York's the trendsetters.
LA is literally just like, huh, New York's whatever.
And then we're just watching you guys for a take-home.
Oh, what did hate me people wearing today?
How long have you lived in LA?
Like seven years.
I kind of like it here.
Look at that itch.
Well, a lot of hot women out here.
Well, LA, the community is crazy.
It's just, it's a totally different vibe of girl.
Well, just that and everything.
Just walking around, there's a park, it's community.
You go to a park in LA.
You're either there for pedophilia or take your,
like it's not the vibes in LA.
Like why would you go to a park?
Are you blonde or brunettes?
Brunette.
Wow.
Obviously he's on the floor.
Oh, yeah.
Brunette, Italian.
Page, page hates.
Sorry, I didn't make any contact.
So just that.
That's a bishop on the floor.
Page hates blondes. No, I don't hate them. I think made eye contact. So just us. You just mentioned on television. Hate blonde.
No, I don't hate them.
I think they're lovely.
I think they're so nice.
This sounds like you love them.
I never be seen with one.
No, I just, I fully think, like we can talk about it,
even with like Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift.
I think that if I date a guy and I look at his ex-girlfriends
and they're all blonde, and then then all the sudden he's dating me.
Yeah, what is that about?
What is that about?
Yeah, what is that?
Because in my head, I'm like, you don't like me.
Like, you're into the minds.
Oh, interesting.
So do you feel like...
Well, maybe it's taste buds switched.
Oh, like when you stop taking your birth control and you're attracted to new men.
Is that a fear?
Wait, that's apparently.
It's so true.
If you stop taking your birth control,
your sense of smell changes.
So you might not be attracted to who you're
with natural pheromones once you get off your birth control.
But you're more feral than ever.
Yeah.
That's good.
I don't really know how birth control works.
I think it's a conspiracy theory.
Interesting thought.
We got in trouble because we told everyone
to get off the birth control.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah. And people started messaging us like, what do we do next? We don't know. Interesting thought we got trouble because we told everyone to get up to
People start messaging us like
But what does that mean if a guy just switches over to burnets can he have that change of heart like I hated olives growing up And then one day I was like, yeah, these are fucking out here
That's I know you're an adult when you start fucking with olives
I think maybe if if a guy's like so hung up on his ex,
he'll try, who's a Brunette, he'll try a blond.
But like, I'm also, I have a type.
Some people don't have types, or some people just like souls,
which is like, yeah.
I'm attracted to your soul.
It just sounds like a horny guy, just trying to fall.
Yeah, like, and you still the only other person to eat.
And anyone ever said to me like, I...
You just want me for your body.
I don't know if you had one of those.
So...
Your aura's got a fat ass.
So everyone's, you know, but everyone's talking about Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift.
And I just think if you look at Travis Kelsey's ex-girlfriends...
What does she look like? Do you guys have a photo?
They're all brunettes.
Yeah, don't
sing folklore and they don't run around in cowboy boots and like flowy dresses. I think Taylor Swift is such a feminist though because you know how many hours we're forced
occasionally to listen to guys play guitar and just like say weird lyrics they made up at the
torture. Yeah. Like after a day he's just playing guitar. Yeah, it's happened like in my life it's happened twice to me.
Damn, what do you do during that?
You don't have to do your hands.
You don't have to do five.
And then it's like if you don't decide to sing along,
is this everyone's love?
Also what's fucked up is he'll be singing some things like I wrote this song.
And you're like if you wrote this song,
you clearly wrote it about someone else.
And you're now singing this to me.
You just met me.
And you're like, the beautiful eyes, your almond eyes.
We went to Costa Rica.
Like we never went to Costa Rica.
Who did you take to Costa Rica?
And now Taylor can reverse.
And Sid Travis kills you down after a long game.
He's tired, sit down, and and she goes I'm working on a new
Red right now and she's like when I saw you in that and zone I knew what you were playing and playing with my heart
Okay, so many a time on flight
I feel like there is the same beat don't you feel like her dating NFLs like kind of lower class for her?
Travis Kelsey's the man, but I feel like her dipping into that
is like, I feel like that's a below her pay grade.
It's fun for her, but I 100% agree with you.
Like I dated a tight ends at Wisconsin
who Travis Kelsey played 12 more years of football
than this man.
And this man that I did in college
had so many concussions, he would just like space out.
That's actually Mitch McConnell that bitch.
Literally, I'm like, I tell you.
I would honestly love that in a partner.
Like if someone, I could just be like,
it's not a bad trait, you can blame it on.
Maybe we go sit down.
Honey, I have CTE, leave me alone.
We're friends and I work guys.
CTE is like a real thing.
And people will get mad like, don't make fun of CTE. Yeah. I, I have CTE. We belong. I never rinse and I work. CTE is like a real thing. And people will get mad like don't make fun of CTE.
Yeah. I would did CTE charity.
I don't have this mail address.
I raised it where it was. Yeah.
And it really is. I'll never put my kid in football.
Yeah. My own born child is not playing football.
You couldn't play football because you made me the team.
Well, my bill does not grade.
I could totally see you as one of these American golfers though.
I tried, oh, I played football in sixth grade.
They made me a wide receiver and they only would run the ball.
So that says anything.
They threw it to me like twice.
And I was like, what are you guys doing?
Stop, stop, stop.
We don't really know that.
Are you playing fantasy?
No, I don't really like sports.
Just, yeah, just to waste it.
He's such a girls girl.
You're such a girls girl.
I just, you know what?
I just care about my career and finding love for sports. No, I literally, I like like going to events. Great. Like going to a wedding. Yeah.
Went to Wisconsin again. Go badgers. We're gonna do the jumping. We're gonna do the jumping thing.
Jump around. So I fucked Bucky, the one who does the push-ups. And he learned something new.
Wait, wait, wait. Did he keep the mask on? He asked once and I'm like, I'm not a fucking
store if you to tell your friends about. Oh, so I didn't.
Cause I don't know.
You should have warned.
Wait, what a line.
I'm not a story for you to tell your friends about.
You're dropping some gems today, both you guys.
I feel like tell everyone about me.
Tell them all.
No, I just hang out with guys too much
that you know when they're like,
yo, this bitch, I fucked up with my bookie head.
Oh, no, guys, I'm actually.
And I don't want to be that girl.
Like, I'll fuck you with the bookie head on.
Turn around.
Imagine you just pegged in with the head.
How about you jump around?
I just popped behind the bed with the bookie head.
I was gonna make a sound for a badger,
but I don't know what sound they make.
Go for it.
No.
Pretty on brand, pretty good.
That's so cool.
What did people on campus know that he was the guy?
So they pretend that they're Batman
and they can't tell people that they're Bucky.
It's the craziest thing.
I don't get it though, why?
Because it's this whole,
people can't know they're Bucky
because it takes away from the mystery of it.
And the school is like that or just the same thing.
Every school.
And there's eight Bucky's because there will be tons of events
that Bucky has to go to.
Bucky's booked in.
Oh, that's like how Marshmallow is.
Yeah, and they, oh, I didn't know.
The DJ, I don't know.
And they have to, let's see you also.
And they have to rotate games
because they do so many push ups.
Whenever they do a touchdown,
he gets raised on the same push ups.
But I knew Bucky was,
because I was on tennis team and we practiced at 7 a.m he gets raised on the stage. Just push ups. But I knew a Bucky was, because I was on a tennis team,
and we practiced at 7 a.m. with the cheerleaders,
and the Bucky's would work out with the cheerleaders,
like they would do like jogging or whatever.
So I knew those guys,
and after being with the football player.
So all the Bucky's were really just male cheerleaders.
Yes, but they were like goofy funny.
They were like the guys,
like you would have been a great lucky leader.
Thank you.
But like they would be so hungover
with these like huge heavy outfits on.
That is not there.
Could you imagine the sweat inside there?
No, I know.
The sweat didn't.
But I would see a bucky and I wouldn't know
if it was like my bucky.
So I would like kind of like cozy up to him
and I would like look at him and like.
You're throwing it like bird food.
A bucky, it's me. And I'd be like, look, because you can't they can't talk like they'll get fired.
It's like very strict. Um, and they'd be like, yeah, yeah, that seems
free. I think some of my scholarships. Oh, wow. I mean, I'm like, they literally pretend
they're Batman and I'm like, you have an ice cream social at 12. Tell me where you are and what you're doing.
Right, you're not like fighting crime on college campus.
Yeah, so like I've always been a celebrity chaser.
Yeah, even a cloud chaser for the longest.
I've been cloud chaser, actually.
I put this deep dark in my memory.
I also made out with another Bucky.
You whore.
I was running train on Bucky's whole whole college mascot. I thought it was you, babe. I always thought the college mascots too were girls.
Because they're so tiny.
Mascots are for girls.
No, they're big.
Some of them are fucking hot.
Like, you do a lot of college gigs.
When I go to college gigs, I'm like, is your mascot hot?
There was like a bear cat ones.
And the bear cat came out, six, five, huge shoulders.
What is a bear cat?
I don't know if I'm a bear cat.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. the college gigs, I'm like, is your mascot hot? There was like a bear cat once. And the bear cat came out, six, five, huge shoulders.
What is a bear cat?
I don't fucking know, but I'll try that bear cat.
She's too manual, yeah.
Fucking alpha.
It's like a wombat.
What is that?
Is it real?
I don't know.
Is that real?
A bear cat sounds cool.
Is that UV?
I don't know, I've done this.
I'll just pick a thing in a bowl.
We're with Spartans, all right.
Oh, some of the wild, some of them
are embarrassing the names.
Yeah.
I have nothing else to add.
Yeah, I think like two A universes,
like the waves or something, crazy.
I just did it.
The University of Maine was a black bear called bananas.
And I said, who, what drunk college kid came up
with the name of this mascot?
Bananas.
Kinda like it.
It's cute.
I didn't go to a college where it was like,
there was a mascot?
No, I think we had a mascot.
I think it was like a knight.
But it wasn't like in Albany.
So it wasn't like,
I thought you were wondering what's in the name of the school.
They don't deserve the clown.
No free clown on Giga Squad.
They're gonna believe my name.
See, we're all over the world in knights. But like, it wasn't like a college where like, I don't know if you're going to say the name of the school. They don't deserve the class. No free class on Giga Squad. They're going to believe my name. This is cool.
They were the golden nights.
But it wasn't like a college where everyone knew the mascot
or it was like, we all went to like games.
Yeah.
Honestly, I didn't talk to anyone.
You didn't go to school.
No, I didn't.
So Trevor.
Yes.
With New York and L.A., we love asking these very general
questions.
Please.
What is the biggest difference between New York and L.A LA girlies? I think they're just like they, you know, I'm always curious. There's
so much walking around. How is the hygiene out here? Can't be right. Oh, like we're sweaty.
Yeah, you go home on the subway. You're in a metal tuba day. Oh, go down to me. No.
Yeah. I will get tetanitis.
No, I get that.
I totally understand that.
I.
I thought Trevor doesn't know what to about it.
I know what like, that stops the flow.
The hookup is like, you're back, you're making out.
Okay, well also the hookup in LA,
you have to drive four hours in New York.
You just gotta go in a bodega.
That is true.
Right.
I live like 30 minutes outside of the city.
And you never really tell how long 30 minutes is
until you're like having a conversation
with a girl who's mad.
And you're like, so, there's a cold stone off that accent.
I don't care.
And you're like looking at the, oh God.
30 minutes in her new births crazy.
Yeah.
Are you on date for one night?
Are you on dating apps? I just put on hinge because I was on a riot. I Uber, it's crazy. Yeah, it's like a third date for nine. Are you on dating apps?
I just put on hinge,
because I was on a riot, I gross, I get it.
I applied for a riot a year ago, never got on.
So then I got on hinge,
but now I feel like a loser on hinge, honestly,
because I get messages being like,
LOL, there's no way this is the real account.
And it's funny that they think that,
but it's also sad that it is just me being like,
Yeah.
Just me, yeah.
You ever get catfished by the original guy?
So I think I'm gonna delete it.
It's fucking sad, it's stupid.
So when you open it in New York,
is it, are the girls way different?
I haven't even said it.
I don't like being an app.
Doesn't make me look happy at all.
But I haven't said it for New York.
I think I just walk around and hope you look,
oh my God, is that Trevor, just a bunch of guys,
but yo dog?
Yeah, see one page and I get recognized by guys I go
No, yeah, we're not you're not my demo. I don't feel comfortable. It's not for that
I do not ask what if they have a girlfriend who loves you guys
That's
But no, but when it's just I've recently started to get like just a random guy
I'm kind of burner and I was like, a rogue man.
I'm calling the police now.
No, those are good.
You need guys like that at your show to buy mika lobes.
And go, girl.
No, because I don't think I don't,
I think the algorithm got like, there was a glitch.
Yeah, or something like that.
Oh, no.
No, I don't really ever, I never get DMs from guys.
Like a, what?
I've set like 12 today.
Like a straight single like rogue man, never. I never get DMs from guys like what yeah like I set like 12 today
Single like rogue man never no just really proof
That's it Not for me her
He DMed you
Yeah, it had a bit of voice
Imagine he know he just takes whatever he's drinking
Imagine. He knows he just takes whatever he's drinking.
He goes,
ah.
That was ASMR.
That was a V.
I think he budgeted a run.
Oh, nice.
I also think just New York girls,
like they just, they got like that,
they got the blue steel going.
They're always on like runway face, you know?
True.
They have somewhere to be.
Yeah.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I know just.
Yeah, you know how you don't approach anybody at like the jam, like that's a kind of a overall message. I feel't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on.
I can't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on. I can't hold my phone's on. Shut the fuck up, what do you matter about your fashion sense? Literally a fan-a-pack yelling at the sky.
No, I actually walk around with permanent, like, someone farted face
so that someone talks to me.
I don't even, I feel like that's just like my face to natural,
really, so I don't really try, but I do,
I don't make eye contact with anyone on the street.
That's an avoidable. Even if you're talking to me.
I'm gonna make this.
I'm gonna make this.
So are you guys not doing subways anymore?
Are you guys at that level?
Are you only doing subways, ubers?
Okay, we know the answer.
We have uber black, we're blocked to the bone day.
I'm not sub-wing or thrift day.
Okay, there we go, there we go.
No, we're just only uber black, exel blade.
Of course.
I like that blood.
We get into like fights.
We get into fights when we're on the road
because I'll like order an uber.
Yeah. And she'll be like, what the fuck is there? It's a the road cause I'll like order a new beer. Yeah.
And she'll be like, what the fuck is her?
It's a corollic, I'm gonna hold the windows are down.
They're like, why don't you put your seven two cases
in this pre-S?
No, I've rather die.
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Okay.
Okay.
I, as a female comic, as a woman in the arts,
I can't walk to venues,
so I have to call Uber as even for like a three minute Uber.
I had the craziest Uber ride.
Recently?
Recently.
Yesterday. Okay.
Actually, I'm gonna play it, because this guy is crazy.
Like, he's video dead this I had to record it
If you don't have a litter of them like you'll have to pay like
He's breeding
No, that's my open-air Gabby
That would do. That's crazy. No, that's my old brother Gabby.
What do you mean you found him? I know where he is in the trailer park now.
Trailer park. Where is this? I mean,
okay, so that I couldn't because like oh, well, if you're gonna take your father's side and the devil I stand no
We're going to cast the horse
Same combo. He's a 39 year old man complaining about his parents divorce. This is very dramatic.
Parents. I have a very dramatic life.
I don't like that. This is within three minutes of sitting down. He just starts talking about this. So I'm texting Gabby and I'm like we're gonna get skinned and die and then he breathes gas. Where did he want to show you?
Where? No, I was trying to get out and we walked and it was like a disco one like it had lights.
Oh, the disco one? Yeah. I took one of those in the day once. It's very sad. Yeah, it is
He feel like you're relaxing I should take the subway just put on nightshades exactly. Yeah, I
Did make a mistake in Canada because I can't drive do you I?
No, I And I also shouldn't have gotten in the
first place.
Maybe you should start telling people, like,
it's cooler.
Do you why?
Because you also have a do you I vibe.
But like, do you as a sick?
Oh, I'm sorry, you party, then you're like,
let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,
let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,
let the Chevy Silverado hold.
Yeah, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,
let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,
let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,
let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, You're not a like horrible person. Just a DUI.
They're voting.
Are they not the same thing?
DUI.
No.
Oh, like driving golf cart.
No, say votes.
Wait, DWI and DUI are different.
D, which one's the president?
D, I had to get a car service to go from Toronto to Buffalo to Toronto.
Yeah, because you can't get a new bird because you have to cross the border.
So I prepaid this guy.
So we, he gets to the place, he was like a two hour trip
and I'm like, I have to tip this guy.
And I had some cash from last time I was in Canada.
I like kept it.
I'm like, so fucking cheap.
I was like, I can't.
And I forgot, you know, in that moment you panic, I'm like,
I should tip the guy.
I don't know how much a Canadian dollar is.
And in my head, I thought it was like pesos.
I just gave him a $100 Canadian bill.
And I walk away, I'm like, that's like six dollars.
This is like a pesos, right?
Yeah, he's like, oh, thank you.
It was like the best tip ever got.
I thought it was like Canadian pesos.
It's like, it's like debit card pin, like debit card pin.
Here you go. No, I get so nervous when it comes to tip time, like debit card pin. Here you go.
No, I get so nervous when it comes to tip time,
because like God forbid you don't give enough.
I went to a place last night, I was like some jazz bar out here,
and it's on the bottom.
It's like encourage to tip the musicians.
They walk around, like I had a bucket in a bend mode.
Like he's holding it, and I was like,
and I was looking into my wallet and hoping huge to be like,
okay, all right, taking too long, but he stood there and was like this.
And I was like, sure, I don't.
And now with the whole like Venmo thing, it's like,
I'm lying.
And I had a cover.
Like I'm taking it, I'm lying.
But it also had a cover charge to get in.
So he was just like going around person to person
just holding in my face.
That's my thing, because I understand tipping people
when it's like a one-on-one experience.
But like, for example, like we're not tipping our producer after, like a one-on-one experience. But like, for example, like, we're not tipping our producer after.
What's a one-on-one experience?
It's prostitution.
So they have, they are good, I'm New York's known for good rub and tugs in the city.
What's your opinion on rub and tugs?
I got one in college once.
A bomb to final road.
My bike to a rub and tug.
I got jerked off a 4-pian road home.
The happiest I've ever been on a bicycle.
Question for you.
Because I had a girlfriend who just recently went to get a massage
and ended up like getting her boobs.
I told this on the pod, didn't I?
No.
I didn't tell this story on the pod.
Absolutely not.
Oh my god, you're exactly like Michael.
He's a close story.
And I've told you this, right?
You never.
Literally, it would be like crazy story ever.
I'm not a sad girl.
I have so many friends and I'm just I tell you know
Okay, so one of my girlfriend she made a take talk about it. She went to her like she lives in Miami
She went to like her normal massage place whatever
But she came from like a workout so she wasn't wearing I think underwear underneath her like leggings or whatever
Sometimes we do that, girls.
No one needs.
No one needs.
But if I haven't shaved, the hairs are literally coming out
of the leggings.
Like spiking out like a chiafette.
Nobody talks about that.
Nobody talks about that in the next moment.
But if you know that, do you try to,
and sorry, this is a little too much,
do you try to pick some spanks this is a little too much, do you try to pick like some spanks or leggings
that are that color?
Black leggings.
Like leggings, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know, but you always,
it's like right when you're like too late to change
that you realize that your hair's gonna have.
They're just like, fuck it.
Yeah.
Okay, so she's laying down, she is naked,
but she's under the sheet.
And usually she has underwear on
when she's under the sheet, but this time she didn't under the sheet but this is just a corn hub video that you watch
I see this video you're supposed to talk yeah
Oh you like blondes that's cool see I do but I because but girls got you got you got not blonde guys
ah okay anyway where was that?
She's naked Miami, porno.
I'm just doing a man's job in interrupting women.
So she's getting fucked, okay?
No, so she's-
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, She goes, she's laying there, right? And she's like doing her massage.
And then all of a sudden, the lady pulls the sheet down
and starts rubbing her boobs and she starts laughing.
Like her boobs or her nipples are out?
Like nipples are out.
I've never had my nipples out.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
My nipples are out.
I wasn't there, but they're out.
And so she starts laughing and then the lady kind of stops.
And she's like,
I don't know if because I didn't wear underwear, if that was a sign of, oh, I'm here for whatever.
Okay. So you should, your nipple should never be out. Also, do you ever,
never found me a new stuff? Do you ever put on a shirt?
True. And the nipple, one nipple is up and one's low just cause it's like kind of pressed.
No, I'm like dainty.
I have a small little.
See, so my friends will literally be like,
one nipple is behind you.
You're like lazy on hips.
You know, normally they're here.
But like if you put a shirt, a type of waist,
sometimes it'll just get like now it's here.
I've never even experienced boob sweat.
Oh, I'm feeling right now. But like, mamba bra. No, that's here. I've never even experienced boob sweat. Oh, I feel it right now.
But like, humble brag.
No, that's insane.
I've always been jealous about the stuff you could put in there.
Like when girls just whip their phone out of their tail,
I'm like, gosh, I'm so proud of you.
So protect it.
Because you guys have pockets and we never get pockets.
Oh, that's true.
But I have pockets, I'm like, you suck.
Do you know what's about that?
And I saw a meme about this.
Why do baby outfits have pockets?
What are they putting in there?
Are they putting...
Oh, that's good.
Whatever.
What do you hide?
What's a Cheerio as I imagine?
What are you saving for later?
What are you bringing to the crib?
Wait, okay, so we didn't finish.
Well, babies bring to the table in general.
Babies make everything about themselves.
I'm so annoyed at babies.
So when you went to get your rubbing tug
because you felt you're fine all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you get up to the desk, you have to say,
like, I'm here for a rub.
Like, how did they know that you're down to get your dick tug?
My shirt was off and I walked in.
And I said, you know what the fuck is going on?
You know what the fuck is up?
I was locked and loaded, dick out.
No, my friend told me about it
because we had this like fraternity like Facebook page
a years ago and somebody posted about it
and I was like, all right, then I'm with that guy's room.
Wait, that sounds so boyish.
It's the most boyish.
This is that story in general.
Your fraternity Facebook page.
Yeah.
Posting about rabbit tags.
Yeah, so then I went to that guy's room.
Hey, he wrote me off.
No, I went to that guy's room and I was like, wait, is this really easy?
Yeah, it's on this street.
You go there.
And then it's like, it's very like, it's like, you don't ask on, what is it?
Don't ask so.
You got both of them in there.
Is that military thing?
It's not being gay.
Oh my God.
Hold on.
It was a guy thing.
Maybe there's something saying something.
Yes.
So I walk in, there's a big guy with the beard
and he's like, sit down.
I was like, no, I'm standing up.
No, I went in there and then after I turned over,
they kind of rubbed my tears, right?
I'm on my back and then she goes, okay,
you can put your clothes on and I go,
what about the, is there a full experience?
This is a 22 year old Trevor,
like, so nervous, it's like,
you're like, I think so nervous.
How does that?
Full experience.
And then she like,
when like this,
and then like a little eye touch,
right, a little iris.
And she goes,
that's $80 extra.
She goes,
80 for the massage,
80 for the oil.
And she let me grab her tits.
She grabbed my hand,
put it through,
massive jokes.
She grabbed my hand,
little frail.
I have small boy hands.
It looks like I'm rot climbing
every time I touch tits.
So, he took my hand and put it in her
Sure, wait, I've never heard of that on tip. I've never heard of that. Yeah, well, I was waiting like this like I was just don't think it actually She must have liked you because I've never heard of you being able to touch that she grabbed my hand
Did it for him? I think men have been lying to me and I'm shaking screaming crying throwing up because they told me
It's always an ugly woman. They toldommies always an old, ugly woman.
Well.
That's what they told me.
You know what, I love her aura.
How about that?
She's attracted to these souls.
Well, I know that guys have gotten it where it's an old lady,
but she's like incredible.
Like she knows exactly like something to touch in their butthole
and she like does a couple things.
Like a bop it?
Yeah.
No, I mean she. It's very regimented and they just know to do and the
guy comes do you come this is like so intense but like do you come in her hand
or does she do it on like she's on you know she wipe it up yeah she wipe you off
she did so you guys are dating I think think so. Get on that day.
I don't remember, but I will say, like,
probably one of the best handles in my life
because they have so many oils there.
So many like, they're like.
This is so embarrassing because recently,
I think there's like, hadn't showered or something
and he was like, don't give me a blowjob.
Like, I haven't showered, which is like so,
but I'm going to show it to you.
And then he was like, I was looking at him
and he was kind of like, hand job. And I was like, I don't, I'm two-semitic. And then he was like, I was looking at him and he was kind of like, a hand job.
And I was like, I don't, I'm sorry,
I don't give a hand job.
I don't mind a hand job.
I don't, I'm like a very competitive person.
Like if I'm gonna do it, I wanna be Division one.
You're gonna rip it off.
I'm new, I'm like, I know, I'm not gonna do it as well as you.
I don't wanna play the game.
Smart.
I don't wanna play.
I said you can do it. See, I'm a sleepy, sleepy girl. I'm so lazy. Well, also as you. I don't wanna play the game. Smart. I don't wanna play. I said, you can do it.
See, I'm a sleepy, sleepy girl.
I'm so lazy.
Well, also, if I had fingers like yours,
I don't even have fingers.
I take your rings off for a handy,
that's what I always do.
Oh, my wedding ring?
Or any ring.
You take your rings off?
Yeah.
Well, that's also like the equivalent of like putting your hair
into like a,
Is that a rule?
I feel like it's like,
I also don't put my hair back before a blowjob.
Whoa. You're just, You're just. I feel like it's like, I also don't put my hair back before a blowjob. Whoa.
You can hear it out here just.
I'm like, Tarzan, I'm gonna get it.
That's terrifying.
You went to one side.
Where your ring stirring a hand job is like having braces,
giving a blowjob.
I'm not taking my, also I'm not gonna be hand job.
So I, maybe that's how we got here.
But like for a blowjob, you'll use your hands.
Right.
It assists.
I think they like a little cold.
The ring?
Mm.
I mean, not the shredded diamond far.
But rings are like the braces of fingers.
Right, that's what I'm saying.
Wait, so it's like you're about to get in a fight
and middle school you start taking off your earrings.
Yeah, I know.
Hold on, hold my head.
I think the more a girl does before giving head to hotter,
she's like tying up shoelaces, drinking a propel back there.
I was just putting eye black on her.
She's doing, like, well done.
Yeah, exactly.
The more you do before it,
I can do this.
Cause guys are so simple to impress.
Like, you crack a knuckle before a handy,
we're like, oh my god.
I take a bucky hat at best.
Yes.
All these things go to her head.
On Real Housewives of New York,
I'm not watching by saw a clip where the girl was like,
you don't even have to suck as dick,
you just have to pretend that it's like really,
you just have to gag on it.
Yeah.
But I feel like they'll like that, but you got it.
You just have to make a lot of sounds
and that you're like really, you know?
You're really doing it.
Oh my god!
Just fight for your life,
and he's like, and then you go, and scene.
And scene is funny.
A little like, a bow after his hilarious.
You're sweating, you're crying.
But then it's fucked up,
because if you actually go so hard
that you puke on his dick,
then the relationship's over.
I like to think mine.
I like to.
Or you'd like, of course,
because we're so dumbly,
in fact, we make it a compliment about ourselves.
I have a whole like standard bit.
Like anything you do in a sexual act,
that we think it's from us.
So if you throw up, it's not the fact that you're all over.
Like if I make my, if I jerk myself off, you're like, she was thinking of me.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh, I get it.
So like if you, if I threw up, you'd be like, oh, it's because my dick is so big.
Exactly.
Like if my back hurts because I'm 32, he'll be like, yeah, threw it back out.
Yeah.
Like you take a sip of water after sex and I'm like, she's tired.
She's dehydrated.
Oh, for me.
I get that.
I have a Rubin Tug story from Andrew Collins that I had to tell.
Do you know Andrew Collins?
He was featuring for me on the road and we were in like four hour car rides.
So it got to this point where we're talking about Rubin Tugs.
He said that he goes into a place and this girl is giving a massage.
And finally, he's like, can we?
She goes, hold on one second.
Goes out, bring someone else in.
And he realized it was like, you know,
when a waiter has a waiter in training,
like it was like, what are her first days?
So the other woman basically was like, okay, this is-
I would like to, there's no chemistry.
Wait.
You did run down my-
I said, you love that man. You love that man. So she basically goes, this is what you like to. There's no chemistry. Wait. You did not know my- You love that, you love that, you love that.
So she basically goes, this is what you're gonna do.
You're gonna take this.
I'm back in.
She starts explaining it and then steps back
and watches the lady do it to him.
So I think he was like,
I think at least still moves or something.
Don't watch.
Wait, that's so crazy.
And it makes me laugh so hard because you know the waiter
and training that shit is so funny
because you're just asking people,
like, did you know that waiter's like,
I could do this on my own,
but thank you for being here.
Yeah.
She's like, I've given a fucking hand job before.
How do you think I got here?
Right.
It's how like I left.
Yeah, there's rings in from Meredith,
hand job queen over here.
Yeah.
And I mentioned Andrew's just like sitting there like,
oh my God. Okay, so was that's just like sitting there like Oh my god
Okay, so was that the only rub and tug you've had is in college. Yeah, I dig it Amsterdam and you can fill in the blanks there. Yeah
You been thrifting
I heard there's good fish shops in Amsterdam really yeah
Yeah
You can't full on just like have sex because it's not illegal, right?
Correct.
I'm gonna say something so fucking girly right now,
but like, so off-branded.
I just like, the only time I wanna fuck a guy
is if I've made up a whole story in my head
that he's so in love with me.
I don't think that's girly.
Mm-hmm.
I don't get off.
I think you're like a social pack.
Like guys. It's not a problem.
A narcissist.
No, but like a guy, you know, like those pancakes
that like have holes in them.
A guy would fuck a pancake and be like,
those fucking awesome.
Wait, what are the pancakes that have holes in them?
I don't know, but that's scary.
Is it afraid of?
Pancakes with holes in them.
Pancakes.
You mean just like air bubbles?
Oh.
Sorry, I had to decipher it for you.
No, no, no, I had to decipher it for you.
No, no, no, I can picture that.
I could have picked something better.
Listen, you give me a four-local and a McDonald's breakfast.
We're doing work.
It doesn't get me like, like,
like, a lot also with like random sex.
It's like, I know that I can make myself come better
than this random guy has probably made me come.
And I know he's not in love with me.
Right.
I'm just not into that kind of stuff.
Right, that's why like girl, it's not like common for a girl to go to a
rub and tug because like we need to be.
There's no connection.
Yeah, we can't just.
Imagine what would a girl strip club be?
Like our dream kind of strip club.
Like a lot of guys who are just like.
I mean, they're being us. They're money.
It's really reverse.
The opposite.
They throw money at you.
Just like here, we'll pay you to look at us and we're like, we're paying us their money. It's really reverse. The opposite. They're through my ears. Just like here, we'll pay you to look at us.
And we're like, we're done looking at you.
I mean, if it was reverse for Rubin Tugs
if a guy just had a vibrator and held it on us,
and didn't do anything else, like held it,
and then stare.
No, he has to give a speech of why I'm his favorite client.
He's a ferment verse.
I've never seen someone with these so just right.
As beautiful brown hair.
You're so smart.
He's just holding it.
You're so smart.
You're so funny.
Everyone wants to be you.
You dress so well.
I'm like, okay, I can.
You have a really good grid on Instagram.
This, that is really nice.
And you really have good shopping taste.
And I like your haircut.
Did you do something different with your eyebrows?
Cause they look so much better than the last girl
who was in here.
Meanwhile, there's just a gun to the back of his head.
Just like, don't fuck that word up.
Yeah, how are you reading?
I was very hostage.
You are so funny.
I love giggly squad.
I, whoo.
Our blue balls real.
Yeah, but I think, uh, yeah, what is that?
It's, I don't know, but like every guy's like,
I just need to go home and get it out myself.
Like, well, you just have to jerk off.
Right, but like, like, there's,
there couldn't become, there's nothing that can get
between a man and his blue balls after he has it.
It's like, if you got blue balls, like,
it's like, don't think about a red car.
And then you're, yeah, you, you will get it out. It's like, if you got blue balls, like, in your- It's like when it's like, don't think about a red car and then you're-
Yeah, you will get it out.
That's like the only priority in your head.
See, I thought blue balls were fake until recently,
I was on the plane.
And I was-
It was long.
It's not going where you think he's going.
I was just on the plane and I was like,
so excited to like go home.
Everything was ready.
I like had my apps downloaded.
I was playing cross repuzzles, whatever I was doing.
And then they were like, we're actually not leaving
for another hour.
You got blue balls.
And I was like, that's annoying.
And then they fucking de-plained
and I started crying and called my mom.
And I was like, this is what blue balls.
As a blue ball, it feels like you're promised something
and then you don't get it.
Blue balls feels like you got the wind knocked out of you
but in your balls.
Like it feels like you got punched in the stomach
but like it's a pain.
So you're about to come, you're about to come,
and then for whatever reason you just don't.
And then her boyfriend comes home, I gotta go.
And then that.
Yeah, you just, either you're hooking up
or you're like kinda like a lot of like touch in a rub in,
and then it doesn't lead to anything.
It's like the first date, like every first date,
you know, like if that's where you get to hooking up,
then you just leave.
Yeah, I was guilty of that because-
Locked and loaded. I didn't wanna, I was guilty of that because- Lock it loaded.
I didn't wanna, I liked the game,
like I like the chatty, I like the,
mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm.
And then you get home and then like,
you could start kissing him and be like,
mm mm, I don't kniIIy really into this.
And they're like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, okay.
Ooh, I don't know how to do much blue balls.
Yeah, they're like, ooh.
That is probably the noise our brains are making
during blue balls.
You turn into a caveman, you're like, penis! That is probably the noise our brains are making during Blue Bull's, you turn into a caveman,
you're like, penis touch now, go.
They stop making eye contact, they're just,
it's like, there's your bathroom door lock.
I find it being like, go jerk off another room
and then like, go.
I was just gonna say, where's the weirdest place
you've ever jerked off?
Talk about bathroom.
Talk about?
Freshman year.
Was it before you ate or after?
Great question.
Great question.
I don't even think we're eating.
We're just in a high school, we're bored.
We're just hanging out and talking about my friends.
I bet you can't jerk off.
And I brought a day at 4 p.m.
Into a journal.
See, I want to get to the point with women where that's what we do.
Like we're out to go on a go page.
I bet you can't jerk off in the bathroom right now.
And you go watch me and you go, come back.
You're right.
I'm face deep in a cheesy to go watch me and you go come back
face deep in a cheesy gordita crunch fuck off I'll come with a cheesy cheesy Grady to crunch. Yeah, I was 14. I had could get hard just looking at cinnamon twists
So what about you guys? Where's where's like you ever gotten off?
I mean the bathroom floor
Bathroom floor You're so close, like, what?
Because he wasn't the bathroom, like, for me to come,
my legs have to be straight.
So I have to lie down.
Like, 90 degree angle.
You get that.
I, I, I, so, no, my legs have to be straight too.
Because you get them out.
All these, this is good.
This is good.
This is good.
This is good.
All these girls are talking about, like,
oh, I can only come on top.
I've never come on top. This is good. This is good. All these girls are talking about like, oh, I can only come on top. I've never come on top. Never. Never. Never.
I've never made a woman come.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, we just became closer.
Yeah, that's wild. I have to either be out of my stomach or my back, but my legs...
Yeah, you're like...
My butt has to be cold.
I basically wouldn't do it myself with my own thighs.
With my own thighs. Yeah hate to do it myself. With my own thighs. With my soul.
Yeah.
I did it myself.
Well, this is the thing.
Because girls will be out here in porn.
You know.
Anyway, you just come in and you know all of them.
I do porn.
They'll have one leg up.
Like another behind their head coming.
And I'm like, I would shit myself in that position.
Like, can we be trying to come and like, yeah.
There's too much possible things to come out.
I knew my legs to be straight.
So yeah, I feel like lying down straight
in like a better point.
I was so important there coming so quickly
and like multiple times.
Yes.
And like I just want someone on set to be like,
she's lying.
Oh, the comments will do that for you.
Just look at the comments.
Why sub of the point Star Wars?
And her mones weren't the same
and I was like, it must be a by-week.
Like what's going on? I need, give me a 10 the porn star ones and her mones weren't the same and I was like, it must be a by-week. Like, what's going on? I need, give me a 10.
Oh, wow. Like, her mones from the videos you've watched.
Yeah, I was like, give me the video.
That must be crazy to watch someone fuck and then fuck them.
I mean, my brain didn't even put two together.
Yeah. I just was like, I mean, my head was like nervous.
Yeah. Yeah. Like, this feels like she's doing like a, you know,
professional. Yeah, she's like taking it.
It's like if LeBron drove past a YMCA,
it was like, all fucking dunk on these kids.
She just like hit that for me.
But I was like waiting for the full effect,
I was waiting for like, you know, like all the sounds
and gags and who was-
But it was just like a normal.
Pretty normal.
I mean, it's so really good.
But in my head, I was very nervous in the beginning.
So I was like, she's dealt with the pros.
So Trevor, why do you think you're single?
You want the real answer?
How old are you?
30.
I'm the perfect age, I'm the perfect guy.
What?
I'm nothing wrong for me.
For what?
Wait, that's a TikTok song.
When do you turn 31?
December 30th.
What's your sign?
What's your sign?
Capricorn.
I'm a Scorpio.
Scorpio.
November 4th.
What does it mean?
I don't know.
Scorpios are so hot.
Yeah, the hot.
And but like also like timber.
Like they'll fucking beat your ass mentally, physically, and sexually.
But sex, nice ladies. I don't know why I'm single. I don't know. I think it's like, physically, and sexually. But sex, nice ladies.
I don't know why I'm single.
I don't know.
I think it's like, I want a girlfriend,
and then a girl shows me girlfriend ensures it.
I'm not ready for that.
But then I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Literally the job is like.
I've got to use opening up for it now.
You the job is,
I mean, I'm single because I'm doing testosterone,
semen retention, I haven't came in three years,
makes me write better jokes and kick talks.
I don't know, I think the schedule makes it really hard.
And also, I don't have time free time
until I know like an hour ahead.
So I'm like, oh, I actually don't have anything.
It's like seven o'clock.
So if I hit up a girl, she's like,
oh, am I just a booted?
I'm like, no, I just didn't know I had free time to know.
So it's hard like maintain like a steady.
That's schedule.
Yeah.
So you're not prioritizing women, women in the arts.
What is your time?
We'll be right back.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm the reason why.
I think I'm just going to like wake up one day and walk down the street and be like,
wow. No, you will. You will. I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street and be like, wow. I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow.
I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street
and be like, wow. I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street and be like, wow. I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street and be like, wow. I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street and be like, wow. I think I'm just gonna wake up one day and walk down the street and be like, wow. all his YouTube and in your head he's that guy. And then you will like miss all the red flags
because you're like, this guy's fucking amazing.
And then you realize he has depression.
Yeah.
He's running from all his emotions,
not every comedian.
They've intimacy issues, not every comedian.
But so sometimes girls aren't gonna see you for you.
Yeah.
You know, you like me, though.
Like if I had a nickel for every time I met someone,
I was like, I didn't get this from your hinge profile
We can still be friends every guy that doesn't work out with she goes you know it's crazy. I love that
I love that but here's the thing
Grindr yeah, wait like where do you meet these men? Or like it's not. She's never been to a new meeting. She's never been to a new meeting. She's never been to a new meeting.
What do you mean, she's never been to a new meeting?
She's never been to a new meeting.
She's never been to a new meeting.
She's never been to a new meeting.
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So, Trevor, we're gonna actually find out if you're trash. It's the thing we like to do.
Do you think you're trash?
Probably on weekdays, yeah.
I think weekends I got it together.
Weekdays crazy.
Do business days.
You're business hours.
Have you been to Mecanos?
No, but I've liked girls, pictures and mecanos.
No, but I went to Abiza, Abiza, this summer.
Oh, how about that?
Awesome, hottest people ever seen my life.
I've never felt uglier though.
Yeah.
Like, cause like also just Americans there in general
aren't like, oh, stoked that they're there.
And I was like, yeah, one guy I was like,
going to be from YouTube shorts, I was like, that's where, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't like, I don't know. That's interesting.
The girls are different.
Because you think the girls are pretty?
Yeah.
But I think New York girls are pretty.
I think New York are more hotter than a laywoman.
I guess it's just I see the New York girls all the time.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm used to the New York school.
Oh, different element.
Yeah, definitely different look.
Do you love your mom?
I love her.
I just had lunch with her today. Do you have any more? I love how I said lunch with today
Wait, no, they were here this weekend. Where are you from?
I was born ill and I for two years moved out and then also in California. I'm getting a job. I'm
Cheerio and a babe and I hit lost the end of this
All alone knows and eat nose. We're up in California. Yeah, yeah, an hour outside of LA. Yeah, we brought him.
I'm a Hollywood boy.
But he can't surf.
Can you surf?
Yeah, I can surf.
Oh.
Oh, what?
Why did you do that?
Anything else?
Anything else?
I'm giving him that for a song.
No, no, no.
Like, and this fucking loser can't even say it.
I'm not good at it, but I can get up.
Speak, two people who have never gotten on a surf board.
Yeah.
Don't worry about it. Yeah, I know how to hold it.
I know how to walk the walk.
I'm Trini like MTV's next.
Do you remember that show?
Yeah, sure.
Oh my god, that show is like Conny.
I love to babe, can't surf.
And loves his mom.
But do you think you love your mom a little too much?
No.
Okay, who would you love more?
Your girlfriend or your mom?
Neither my dad.
That's a trap question, it's not an answer.
But you gotta go mom first.
Because then you're, oh, you're so loving.
Yeah.
Oh, he loves his mom.
This might be tough for you this question.
Oh.
How many Instagram models do you follow?
Too many.
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
I wanna unfollow anybody that shows an inch of skin. It's like you, I want to unfollow anybody
that shows an inch of skin.
It's like you open it at seven in the morning,
you're like a BBL at this early.
Let me start my day.
You know how Instagram you can do the time
or zone social media?
I want a timer, I can't show you anything horny
until 4 p.m.
But these are all people I know, and this is my friends.
I would never just follow like
Some like thirst trap Instagram account right now. You're supporting your all your friends only fans Yeah, a lot of them are just friends you meet along and then but it's just the two early
I wouldn't just like randomly see one but you guys probably have this we like see a hot-ticks photo
Yeah, there's always the same guy who's like
Yeah, how is it?
Dude friend that I'm like I didn't see that for him.
Yeah, exactly.
He's active.
You're really, you know?
My friend Siphah sounds, he's a comic.
I know, he's like, he follows these Instagram models,
and he's like, but then they'll just post
a random thing of like their nephew
at like a volleyball game,
and I'm like, you can't be throwing that shit out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gross.
What's your go-to drink?
Alcohol. Just a keylunoda or like an old-fashioned.
Ooh, an old-fashioned.
Well, fast with a big ice cube.
I'm dumb man.
Give me a big ice cube.
Monkey goes clap, clap.
What has changed most about you since you started making money on YouTube shorts?
Cut my parents off.
I'll rock them.
Really, no.
Because Travis is successful. I think I'm a little more, I lean on the page side for this, where it's like, I'm gonna talk to them. Uh, really nothing. The Travis accessory. I think I'm a little more, I lean on the page side for this,
where it's like, I'm gonna airport Uber Black.
I don't wanna deal with this.
There's too many variables in random Uber.
Oh, the window's down, I guess I'm gonna blow dry today.
Like, when it comes to that,
or I think it's just like treating myself when I need it,
like I was at one of these flip stores and I had this.
I just, yeah, I get jerked off.
I'm so thrifted, I thought they had this crazy expensive jacket. I was like, this is stupid. I put it on, I was like, of these flip stores and they had this. I just, yeah, I get jerked off. I'm so thrifted out of there, this crazy expensive jacket.
I was like, this is stupid.
I put it on, I was like, it's mine.
It's, it's mine.
It's, it's mine.
I like that.
Wait, you're a major so similar
because I feel like that's you shopping at like Nordstrom.
If you love it, you gotta get it.
Right, that's what it is.
I don't feel like if I'm traveling
and there's not room service, I'm leaving.
Like, I need a nice hotel.
Like, I, it's, for me, it's the first thing she said.
She goes, you guys have fruits every time.
I need to know that in her patients.
We don't have rooms.
Meanwhile, she eats two fries, get to eat the rest.
Guess who's eating it all.
Me.
But I feel that.
Yeah.
But I'm also a really cheap man.
I think it's comfortable.
Yes.
I'm a very cheap man. I bring my own coffee with me.
When I travel, it's like I make coffee in the room.
Because I don't want to talk to people.
I don't want to go to a lobby.
True.
First thing out of the day, I got to go downstairs.
There's kids screaming.
No.
You know, get a coffee down there.
Like I have to like gather my thoughts
before I do anything in the world.
That's why you need room service.
Yeah.
Also true.
Yeah.
In a relationship, do you have a similar personality
to who you are online? No. I think it's pretty toned down. Yeah. Also true. Yeah. In a relationship, do you have a similar personality
to who you are online?
No, I think it's pretty tone down.
I think it's like a common lot of women will say
that like there's so much hotter in person.
Thank you.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
They'll always just be like,
oh, you're like, you're way chilly.
You're not like that accentuate.
I was like, yeah, you think I would just,
that's crazy that they'd also go out on a date with me
thinking that I was that guy at a tan.
Right, like you're almost a red flag on there. You'd be into my Kyle character date with me thinking that I was that guy at a tan. Right, you know?
That's almost a red flag on there.
You're like, you'd be into my Kyle character?
Yeah, and that's what I'm thinking.
Like, you just get, you just get to their,
vaping and drinking bang energy,
and you're like, there's my gang.
With a backwards visor.
If you're at the restaurant,
like just screaming at the menu, like, yeah.
Exactly.
His video, making fun of cats,
like if he was a cat,
it's him just like playing with headphones.
I was like a sub-sus,
when I first met Trevor, I had him on my pod
and like it was a big deal.
Like I was like Trevor.
We mean was big deal.
It was, back then you were like,
you know when we did their pod,
I was so nervous.
Really?
Yeah, like couldn't like,
like my hands were sweating.
Really why?
I don't know.
And we all talked at the same time.
Because there's just like a,
when I go to LA, I feel like, oh my god, like I'm in LA. Like, yeah, I
get a new kid on the block. I feel the way about like New York too, you know, like this
pun. Yeah, what you're just like, you know, you're just like, you're in the city. You're like,
you know, we're here. We're there. We're doing that. We're this, you know, it's funny
because it's intimidating. Trevor walked in looking at me and he goes, oh, you guys don't
have your own studio interesting
Cuz you guys just did 3000 tickets in Toronto and you can't rent a studio apartment I think it's just different. No
Literally no, it's expensive nobody like no one in my class in New York. I think it has a studio
I just not worth it. Yeah, no, but
I felt that.
That was a Scorpio side kicking me in.
Oh, I have a question.
I have a question.
I was walking past these two.
First of all, I saw a girl,
Puking Broad Daily yesterday having on camera.
I'm like, do I post this?
That fucked up.
No, because I'm Puking.
No, because the people of Phobia of Puking, I do.
Well, I was gonna put on my shirt.
I was like, you're warning.
Put like, yes.
Put like a emoji over her face.
Yeah, well the dude, she's throwing up
the guys just sitting there vaping in the back.
But isn't her first rodeo, okay?
When it level, we just change the subject so well
to get us off of him.
Anyway, what's your skin care routine?
Kills?
You fancy your red dress.
Yeah, but what's your background
told you to use Kills?
Literally her.
Because I used to just get like whatever,
I used to buy stuff on Amazon.
I'd make face wash and then they're like,
this is not good.
That or CERV, that's like the sleeper one.
It's pretty good.
True, that's a dupe.
If you were washing Hannah's hair
and you had to put conditioner in it,
where would you put the conditioner?
What the fuck?
We got to weird.
The bottom.
Oh my fans, but somebody cooked here.
Somebody cooked here.
Somebody cooked here.
Yeah.
You already know.
This is a guy who's 30.
He's trained.
He's a low trained.
Yeah.
And that just comes with the third train.
I'm trained.
You can leave me alone.
I'm trained.
I don't pee on the ground.
You don't need a snap.
Like, you can get your own snap.
You're not going to start biting the pillows.
Yeah. You leave me alone. They're blue ball. I'll fuck a pillow. When was your last girl that?
You haven't been sitting anywhere.
Uh, uh, uh,
January, January.
Carry the one.
Yeah, like March.
Okay, so not that long ago.
That's long ago, but I was in a three year relationship,
got out for a couple of months,
and then I was thinking about it.
It was like, got out like it was like,
like, it was a escape.
What I meant to say is got broken up with.
He's like, random way. The guards in jail, fell about everything. You're God broken up with. He's like, ran away.
The guards in jail, full battle for me though, you're good.
Get out, get out, get out.
Why'd you break up with you?
That's a whole, you know.
Who did you fuck?
No.
Who'd you cheat?
No, no, no, no.
You weren't around enough.
You weren't showing her enough attention.
You were fucking like those.
We also lived together for like, and it just like, wasn't right.
It just stepped on each other and it just like, it wasn't. We also lived together for like, and it just like, wasn't right.
It just stepped on each other, and it just like, it wasn't.
We turned into roommates.
You guys sounded like the Toy Story, the, the Ayrons, the Clive.
No, that's a really good thing.
Never let your partner become a roommate.
True.
Whenever people ask you about moving with Craig, be like, I'm not letting my partner become
my roommate. That's how relationships die.
Crazy, I would never live with the band.
It's a great day.
It's a great day.
It's a great day.
It's a great day.
It's a great day.
She's so great lady and I still talk to her to this day.
You don't have to be political with us.
Yeah, nice girl, we support women in the arts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How do you feel about women like pooping, farting?
We can't feel anything if it doesn't exist.
Right. I don't think women do that. I think it's fine. What women like pooping, farting? We can't feel anything if it doesn't exist.
I don't think women do that.
I think it's fine.
Because if you're comfortable with it,
I'm comfortable with it.
Have you ever had a girlfriend fart in front of you?
Yeah, my ex, but like, she'd be so embarrassed after.
Like, he'd be on accident.
I'd be like, what was that?
I was so nervous!
Oh, no, and I was like, laugh.
Right.
Because it'd be funny.
But also, speed poops.
I mean, she like turned the sink on for the noise,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You flush what happened in there?
Yeah, what do you do?
You doing key bumps in there?
It was a girl.
It was a girl.
It was a girl.
It's crazy.
Hannah's one of the fastest I've ever met.
I know a pre-show poop.
But she comes out.
They're like, let me the fuck out.
I do feel like I better show as if I pooped for Hannah.
For sure.
It's a good look, you know?
Well, especially with girls, like you can't,
sometimes there were tight stuff on stage.
And everyone's just like,
if they're all staring at your lower stomach,
you just want to feel like, yes, snatch.
But also, what I told Paige is,
you get adrenaline on stage,
so don't worry, everything is just hell.
Yeah, well, and I just drink a bunch of coffee
and my nerves are just like,
my whole body's gonna get everything out of here.
Yes.
Okay, so you support?
I support, you support the arts.
You support the arts.
You are to the farce.
You support the arts.
Who would play you in a movie about your life?
Ryan Gosling.
Wow.
Wow.
Let me think about that.
Who would play me in my life?
Do you want to get into acting?
I think if it comes my way, I would like to.
But also I get impatient.
Like sitting on a set for 12 hours.
Yeah. But like all you do is act. Like if you think about it, you're, I would like to. But also I get impatient, like sitting on a separate 12 hours. Yeah.
But like all you do is act.
Like if you think about it,
you're a writer, actor, director.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just,
if I could make some of my friends.
I hate men who write.
No, I just hate men who are employee bands.
I don't like, I don't like men when they're like performing.
Like not.
When you're, he's expressing his art.
When you were doing your job.
No, no, no, like I love stand-up comedy.
Like I don't think of it like that as like performing.
I mean like I don't want them in their head.
I don't want them saying five, six, seven, eight,
and then do something.
That is crazy.
That makes me, she just doesn't like a countdown.
No, and I don't like a choreographed anything. Okay.
What is he's a family that's synchronized swimming on the weekends?
It's not for me.
Would you ever date another
Comedian Trevor. Yeah, I think so because they know the life so well. You know, it's funny
His Hannah always said like never date a comedian. I'll never date a comedian
It's just kind of what you told growing up. It's like your mom's like, don't do drugs, those are drugs.
And then you get to college, I'm a do drugs.
Yeah.
You moved into New York and you're like,
I'm a data comedian.
Yeah.
I do have to say like podcast thing is a skill.
And when all you do is podcast,
which is like coming up with good conversation,
make each other laugh, riffing,
when you go on a normal date with a normal person,
you're like, okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Bitch.
I'm gonna call that. That's it. You get, three times, that's do it. Okay, let's do it. I'm gonna call that.
You hit three times, I was like,
oh, wow.
That's another thing.
I went on like two-inch dates.
And it's like, I need the-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all-
When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all-
When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all-
When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all- When you're all a podcaster. Yeah, cuz they're just like click at 30. I need that. I just want I need to good riff. Yeah. Yeah.
No, it's all about things. I just need to like cuz I've just been on day towards just like every sentence kind of like doesn't there's no peer but the words
Just kind of fade out. I was like yeah
Where do I go on?
Okay, but here's the other thing sometimes it's hard to find someone to riff back and forth because they might not be as funny as you
I would accept a man that's like, maybe can't riff as much with me, but knows like what
I'm saying is really fun.
She knows when to like, like, gets what's going on.
Even a laugh's better than like, yeah, like a laugh.
Like, if she's laughing at the date, I like, keep down.
I want to turn to the restaurant and be like, it's how you do it.
Yes.
I feel like you date a lot of girls that don't laugh at your jokes,
but tell you that's so hilarious.
I have been on some days, so it was like,
wait, that's actually so funny.
And I'm like, Dan laughs.
No, I think it's a mixture.
I think I've gone on dates where it's like,
the riff was almost too good that I was like,
we're getting out of the sexual tension energy.
We're like, I don't even know if I like your hot. You're punching each other.
There's his show.
There's his voice.
And then the pendulum is like, there's so hot, there's no riff.
So it's like, what's this kind of like, with the Venn diagram kind of overlaps?
What's that middle ground?
Yeah, you have to find, unless you're like Austin, you're just like so gorgeous.
So funny, so gorgeous.
Like smart, just sick.
It's out there.
It's like crazy. It's out there. It's out there.
You know, what's your favorite position in bed?
You know, I was gonna say it's not a real answer.
I was gonna be like feminism.
It's not a real answer.
You know, I think honestly, probably doggie or when she
laying on our stomach, legs out, horizontal,
and then you're, it's like, well, that'd be, it's like flat doggie or when she's laying on our stomach, legs out, horizontal, and then you're,
it's like, well, that'd be, it's like flat doggie.
Yeah, like, it's like,
where doggie?
It's like wishbone.
We know what you mean.
I mean, that's when I know.
That's my, yeah.
Honestly, one of my favorites,
because I don't have to do literally anything.
Cause also, you know, you're sucking in the second.
Yeah, I'm fucking letting it go.
I'm really, really, really happy. And then he's like, let's switch positions. He's like, like, I'm letting it go. I'm really busy.
I'm like,
and then he's like, let's switch positions.
He's like, I'm not ready yet.
Still dead just thing.
Finish up back there.
I love when my stomach is straight up
because I'm just like, mm, yeah.
Sorry, I was catching up on Ben Mo's, you know.
That's crazy.
What's the craziest thing a man or woman
could be looking at on their phone, don't say?
So like, if you're doing doggy and look at her phone,
she's playing Whirl, you're like, oh, fuck.
I'm not more entertaining than pizza's the word.
Like, LA girls are face-tuning their photo
from the date they took of themselves
30 minutes later.
That's so, 100% true.
100% true.
100% true.
I joke that I can't orgasm if there's unread emails
on my phone.
Yeah, I'm distracted.
Yeah.
I need to like-
Are you a zero-tax, zero-email girl? Wait, that's a great question. I'm a zero-tax, zero-email girl. Like, I need to like- Are you a zero-tax, your email girl?
Wait, that's a great question.
I'm a zero-tax, zero email girl.
Well, like, I do have 8,999 emails on my phone, but they've all been seen.
Like, I'm not going to click into everything.
Why are you leaving fucking kayak that calm on red now?
No, it's so stuff I don't want to delete, but like, I'm like, who is it?
How many tax?
No, I'm right now, because I've just-
I think this was so much cooler. I'm just doing what I am. I'm like, no many tax? No, I'm right now. Because I've just, I think this is so much cooler. I'm gonna do what I am.
I'm like, no, my texts are clean.
Really, yeah.
I'm 10 emails, five texts.
Wow.
But by the time I go to sleep, tonight, zero, zero.
Zero, zero.
Because if I can't, if I'm trying to argue,
I can't think about like, oh, I have to set this down.
What do women think about during sex?
You choose.
Is it other men?
Have I?
Yes.
To come.
Yeah.
I've thought about to not come, not men.
But like, you know, you thought about other girls to not come.
Yeah.
Like you thought like, oh my grandma, to not come.
Yes.
Not my grandma, but I was like,
imagine she was like 98, I was like, oh, you know.
Okay, interesting.
Or I'll say like a word of my head to like get out of it.
They always say guys are trying not to come
and girls are trying to come.
Yeah.
But nobody wants to meet in the middle.
I feel like as a woman, I'm trying to be in the moment.
But like, and then I'll finally be in the moment and then I'll be like, oh my God, I'm in the moment and then I lose the moment. But like, and then I'll finally be in the moment
and then I'll be like, oh my God, I'm in the moment
and then I lose the moment.
Cause like, that's how you come.
I'm thinking about myself the whole time.
And thinking about like how I look and how he,
what he's thinking about looking at me.
You know, like when you watch your Instagram story
but you watch it in like the position of your crush,
you're like, what is he thinking?
Oh my God, you're so pretty.
You would come think you got how hot you are.
What would you do?
I'm like, he's like, oh my god,
I can't believe I'm here right now.
What is he gonna tell us?
I'm two questions here.
First of all, you know, okay, so.
What would you do if the guy stopped and was like,
what are you thinking about mid sex?
What would you do?
Is everything okay?
What do you think you were?
I would say you're just so big.
You're a huge dick.
I would just beg you. I think I am. You just say you're sick so big. You're a huge dick. I would just beg you.
I think I, yeah.
You just say you're a dick.
I think they'll throw off the whole vibe.
Yeah, I'd get so pissed.
It was like that.
Oh, yeah.
I'm just kidding.
But you know how they are?
What do you think you're about right now?
I would just be like, I have the egg.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's like, I would take it as like,
you were trying to be like,
lovey and like,
oh, like, wanna like make love.
And then that's what I'm out of.
Yeah, page hates that. I'm weird where like, I'll see, wanna make love. And then that's what I'm out. Yeah, Pige hate that.
I'm weird, where I'll see myself in the mirror having sex
and then I'll go back to me as a kid.
But, well, 18 or not.
No, I'm not.
I'll be like, you're just a little girl.
And now you're just a freaky porn star.
And this is where you are.
I know for a back, you have legitimately done that.
No, when you first see that you have full tits,
you're like, I'm just not an innocent child anymore.
Yeah.
Am I ruining women for you?
No.
No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
I've been having sex where I'm just like,
I was just a girl.
It's like I should, I'm better than this.
I'm not, I'm not.
I don't want to be.
I'm a girl that like, if a random guy's like,
hey, you dirty fucking slap, I'm like, oh, okay.
What's funny after, like especially in a relationship
with somebody and then it's like,
you're just yawning, it cuts.
Okay, if you know me say whatever.
And then after where,
I'm like, so did you just wanna go to Brian?
I guess it's just like it flips in your head.
No, it just feels like.
What's the same as that?
You're like, all right.
Yeah.
Well, Paige is more violent than me.
Like, I can't fight for my life while I'm trying to come.
Like, I'm just trying to be like at peace
Everything like if you like accidentally pull my hair to the call map or something
Yeah, like she needs it to be nice and like a safe space
Because I be a can like it's okay. I think I'm like let's have a nice air conditioning is on
Oh, guys, if it's too hot I can't I can't yeah, just a saw
I'm freaky. No, but you know what you want.
No, soft kiss is not freaky.
That is not freaky.
That is freaky.
There's a CEO in a ball, yeah, I can do that.
I can do that.
I think I'm like a crazy partying DWI, typically.
Yeah.
When I'm in bed, I'm like, I just want to feel loved.
Yeah.
Peace.
It's so funny, because what people think you are is what you are.
Yeah, but I would never say.
You're on the other side of that, you're like,
She wants to be hit by a brick.
She's the only way I come.
Hit me with a temperedic mattress.
I need to be choked out and I will only come when I'm then coming too.
There's some great lines on this episode.
This is my thing that like, because you like,
you want pain? No, I know. You make it seem like I'm this like, bondage. No, I don't
want pain, but like a light choke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like no. Just a medium red
choke. Medium well. I will say I passed out... She's like, you're trying to make it.
I just passed out once from choking.
Yeah.
I passed out one time from choking.
There's something about BDSM that gives slapstick humor to me.
It's like so funny after you come.
It's like, babe, can you unzip my cat suit?
It's like...
No, I believe it.
I'll never really like a Tom and Jerry cartoon for me.
I'll never forget it.
I passed out and then when I came to,
I said, did I just pass out?
And he goes, yeah, I was so fucking hot.
But that's the thing with the guy's head.
He thinks it's from him.
So then in my head I was like, yeah, no,
it was a bug enough.
I'm here like, I just-
You're like, I just-
I haven't eaten in three days.
So I passed out.
Actually, do you have your day?
Because my blood sugar is so low. Do you like choking? I throw hands, I don't like in three days. That's not- Actually, dehydrated. Because my blood sugar is so low.
Do you like choking?
I throw hands.
I don't like to do it.
I feel like I'm giving it my all.
And she's a cardo.
I was like, what do you mean?
What kind of hands do you have?
Froto.
Froto.
Oh, they just did froto.
Froto.
Yeah, probably the same guy.
We both have hand insecurities.
I have nubs.
I always had to know my hands.
And I like posted photo me doing stand-up
and the people make his little hands.
Aww.
Is that big dick?
The hands, the hands size of hands,
correlate to dick size.
Uh, I don't know.
I think I'm packing like very like right down the middle.
Like a girl pulled my pants down and said,
yeah.
Yeah, your boyfriend deck.
My ex literally said I had husband deck.
Yeah.
And I thought that was compliment.
That's a really big compliment.
Is it?
No, I thought, because I feel like that's bad.
No.
It means that you could do it a lot and you won't be sore.
Like, what's that called?
Yeah, yeah.
It's not going anywhere.
It's not like, because if it's too big,
it's our hearts and it's not fun.
Like, you don't want to do it.
You don't want to have a extravagant meal all the time.
Like, what's like a meal you could eat every day?
Right down the middle. Yeah. And it's not gonna make you sick. Yeah, it's not a big Mac
But it is a quarter pound, you know, it's on the menu. Yeah, this was such a sexual episode. Hey, do you have any other notes?
No
Was it choking recent? No, this was like
Five or six years ago.
Oh, back in the heyday.
Yeah, back in my prime.
Do you pee in hot toves?
I pee in hot toves, yeah.
Oh, what's funny?
Because you know how slapping is like kind of hot.
One time a girl asked me and called,
she's like, do you like slapping?
And I was like, yeah, and I thought she wanted to be slapping.
And then she slapped me in the face, like clocked me.
See, I actually don't like slapping.
I've had someone do it to me one time.
And I said, nope, nope.
I didn't think she'd do it out of me. I was like, excuse me. I don't know I said, no, no, no. I was like, take you out of it.
I was like, excuse me.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, she's like, call your mom.
Literally, slap me.
Also even slapping the ass has technique.
No, you have to hold it.
Even that, I don't really like,
because I'm like, that actually hurt
and like, but didn't feel the technique.
The technique isn't right.
Like, you just want to feel like passion,
you don't want to feel an action.
I don't want to fight star on my ass.
Yes.
Because my ex, she was really funny.
She was like say something, if I went to the sub and I asked
and it didn't make the noise, she was like,
oh, I was a dud.
I'm like, oh fuck.
But if you just get hip, she was like, yeah.
She sounds like you're calling,
you're calling me couch.
You're calling me, you're calling me.
She calls, can we call him another guy who was really
honest?
Oh, no.
Where she buys me when I was,
Hannah Clappers, you take to the game.
But that was like a funny bitch, but I was a done.
But I feel like that's so, like, if you're done.
I feel like having bitch throughout sex
is like something I really need.
It's like love.
Yeah.
I think love love.
But you don't wanna get the giggles.
I've gotten the giggles before.
That's why I can't watch porn with my comedy husband.
Yeah, it's too,
because we get it.
We break it down.
We're doing call bad.
She's not gonna fit that microwave
Also why when you said the girl goes I ain't just slapping
Dude I probably would have done it. I was down bad. I was in college. I was living in a bunk bed
I was down bad. I was in college.
I was living in a bunk bed.
All my friends were like, what'd you do us that?
We heard a lot of clapin' on the couch, fucking.
I was laying down, dude.
She was in the sliver getting the shit beat out of him.
Yeah.
No, it's a line.
Anyway, we support all kinds of sex in the arts.
Yeah, we do.
As long as you don't count down.
Trevor, thank you so much for-
Oh, you're the last thing.
What if you count them before it comes?
My friend told me recently that she was this guy. I was like what was wrong with him
What was wrong with him? And she was like I broke up with him because when he came he'd go
I would break up with someone too. So did you go to the silent calm because Michael's very vocal about it
He's like I will be loud when I come.
And I was like, you don't need to.
I don't mind like a really masculine like,
whoa, whoa.
I like, because I'm like a dude.
I'm like, that was my pussy.
I don't think I've ever had someone be like loud really.
But I don't like the like, you know,
someone like the ball gag in the mouth.
You know,
you don't want someone sneezeses but holds it in. That's when some guys come. They're like,
Oh, hey, those people.
When it goes too long, you're like, you came. You came already. It's like 14 minutes in,
you still like, no, we're into the credits now, wrap it up. Speak of the credits.
Where are you gonna be, Travis?
So, it's a fun episode.
When does this come out?
I'm gonna be in Australia at the end of October.
Oh my God, I'm out.
I'm out.
Cindy Brisbane, Melbourne, Perth.
Oh, troublelesscomedy.com,
and I have a special coming out November 14th.
November 14th.
Can't say where it's on, but it's gonna be,
it's a streamer, so I'm excited.
That's fucking amazing, that's so exciting.
Yeah, you guys are awesome and things are happening.
Paige and I have shows coming up.
Chicago and New York.
Where is it?
New York.
Chicago, the Vic theater.
The Vic, I love the Vic.
And then I'm gonna put some of my shows because I need to sell and hand over Maryland.
It's a casino, I don't know where it is, but the girl is,'s go because I don't I need to see you know, it's so fun because
you're like free food vouchers. Very fun. Everyone's that's where I saw your
billboard. Yeah, I guess I've a billboard with no one's around. Anyway,
second round. So, I'm going to go Seattle, Portland, Kansas City, Indianapolis,
Indianapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee, New Orleans, Atlanta, Tampa, Orlando, well I'm tired. Okay.
Reno and Charlotte.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
We'll post them.
Thank you guys so much for getting with us.
Follow Trevor, listen to our stiff socks episode, and we'll talk to you guys later.
Bye.
you