Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 105. Tony Orlando

Episode Date: May 30, 2016

Singer, actor and music producer Tony Orlando pays a visit to Gilbert and Frank and reminisces about singing doo-wop on New York City rooftops and working with music icons Carole King, Gerry Goffin and Clive Davis. Also, Tony remembers Freddie Prinze, gives props to Jerry Lewis, locks horns with "The Great One" and reveals the happy accident that created Tony Orlando and Dawn. PLUS: Tony roasts Muhammad Ali! Nancy Walker takes her revenge! Shecky Greene flips out! And the crew joins Tony in a "rendition" of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon (Round the Old Oak Tree")! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. Godfrey's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our guest this week is a singer, actor, music producer, TV personality, and former teen idol. He's recorded hit songs like Halfway to Paradise, Candida,

Knock Three Times, Steppin' Out, Say Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose, and Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree, to name just a few. In his decades-long musical career, he's played to sold-out houses and worked with everyone from Bobby Darin to Carole King to Sly Stone to one of our favorites on the show, Gene Pitney. TV appearances include American Bandstand, The Sonny and Cher Show, The Carol Burnett Show, The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, The Merv Griffin Show, The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, Jimmy Kimmel Live Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and of course, the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Labor Day Telethon, which he co-hosted from 2002 to 2008. From 1974 to 1977, he co-hosted with singers Thelma Hopkins and Joyce Vincent Wilson on the hit musical variety series Tony Orlando and Dawn, working alongside dozens of stars, including Bob Hope, Milton Berle, Tony Randall, Art Carney, Sid Caesar, George Carlin, former amazing colossal podcast Frankie Avalon, and his childhood heroes are Jerry Lewis and Jackie Gleason.

Please welcome to the show a showbiz icon and a self-described Greek-O-Recon, the multi-talented Tony Orlando. Let me tell you something. The Gettysburg Address was never quoted as well as that. I have never heard an introduction like that in my life. But I have to tell the audience and you, Frank. And I told this to Gilbert before I got here. I'm his biggest fan. Yes. So I get him on the phone.

I want all your listeners to hear what happened, because I want to return the compliment to you. So he gives me this big introduction. He did his homework with you somehow. Well, somebody did it. He had 55 years of show business in about four seconds. He got it in. But he did it in He had 55 years of show business in about four seconds. He got it in.

But he did it in that wonderful Gilbert way, right? That I couldn't wait to come to hear. So I get on the phone with him today and I say, listen, I'm your biggest fan. I'm so honored to come. And his answer is, why? And his answer is, why? And only Gilbert can say a one-word answer that really means a lot of things. So you go, because I think you're great.

You do? I said, yeah. Why? Because I don't think anybody can make a person laugh just by the sound of his voice. So I'm going to tell you, every listener out there, he disappointed me one moment. Because I sit in the studio, and the first thing he says to me, would you mind if I did this intro? And I thought, this is really going to piss me off. He doesn't sound like Gilbert.

Do you mind if I read this intro? Wait a minute. You didn't realize he was going to have a normal voice. Nobody does. They expect the parrot from a lot. You, let me tell you something. Let me finish my compliments on you, okay? Go as long as you want. No, no, no.

You got to hear this because it's time you heard it from this Greek-a-reekin'. You saw in your little interview how much I love Jerry Lewis. Yes. He's a one-of-a-kind. When I met Jackie Gleason, hey, pal, he was one-of-a-kind. When I sit with you, I know

there is one-of-a-kind. And to be a one-of-a-kind in this business, really not copying anybody, but you can be. I mean, even Frankie Avalon does you. Yeah, he does. And Bobby Rydell. They do you. I mean, for Frankie Avalon to do you, I mean, that's unbelievable.

Think about it. He does nobody. He can't do an imitation of anybody. But that's just to show you you're rare, you're kind, you're wonderful, and I'm honored to be on your show. I'm not kidding you. Oh, nice. What a nice thing. Oh, thank you.

Don't say why. Why? Why? Yeah, because I heard when Frank said, do you have anything to plug? Yeah. You said to him. Oh, you said you didn't have anything to plug? Yeah. You said to him. Oh, you said you didn't have anything to plug. You were just doing it for the honor of doing it.

I said, I'm just, I'm just, I wanted to do this show. I said, Frank, and I texted him back. I said, Frank, listen, I appreciate you thinking I'm on to plug, but I'm not here to plug anything. I just want to be in the presence of this man. I went to a Friars Club one night. Yeah.

And I'm hosting this Friars Club one night and I was honored to do that. That's a cathedral of show business. And up comes Gilbert. And I mean, he did a rant

in that voice. I ain't never heard more curse words. Wait a minute. Was this the legendary Shecky night? Yes. Was Tony hosting?

Oh, this was the night that Shecky, it was the night for Stewie legendary Shecky night? Yes! Was Tony hosting? Oh, this was the night for Shecky Gates. For Stewie and Freddie. Freddie Roman and Stewie Stone. And Stewie Stone, right? So iconic comics, right? The two guys and I'm there. I'm not going to try to be funny.

Are you kidding me? You don't be funny with those guys. And now, and your finger point. That's what you do. You try to be funny, they'll kill you. Well, he comes up and he does a monologue. Triple X was like the Pope could see this. It was quadruple times 10 times 50 triple Xs. So we're all hysterical because he's laying this stuff out there in such a genius way. And I hear a big buzz going on and people getting upset.

And I'm going, what's going on? Well, obviously, Shecky had his daughter or had somebody in his family who was upset by it. Of all people, Shecky, who loves comedy and kind of like the father of it all. The first time I ever worked Vegas, I opened for Shecky Green and Don Rickles. That's how I cut my teeth in Vegas. Wow. I mean, that was going to school. You'll have to tell that story, too.

That was going to school. But Gilbert was so hysterical, so edgy, that I turned, I don't remember who I turned to, quite frankly, but I turned to somebody and I said, you know, this is the only comedian I can think of that is able to bridge what is essentially comedy from the past that we all know and bridge it to the comedy of today and do it without sounding like he's trying to do something he shouldn't be doing. like he's trying to do something he shouldn't be doing. And I don't think people really understood that he had transformed that piece of comedy to what is now.

I did a movie with Adam Sandler called That's My Boy. Now, I cannot repeat to you. I'll repeat to you after the show. Go see the movie. But there was a line in that movie that I said in the spa, we're going to get all you know sucked. That was really bad. For Tony Orlando to say that.

And I get this script. You can speak frankly here. Okay, so what happened was, Adam shows me the script, gives me a big part in the movie. And I look at the script and I say, Adam, this is really something. This is nice.

Not one F word. 55 years in show business and I don't have to say that. I can't thank you enough. He said, hey, Tony, no problem. First day on the set, we're in the spa scene. And Adam says, just before we go to take he goes hey Tony you know what you should say was that Adam we're gonna get our dicks hot pardon me what did you say it would fucking hysterical if you did that. I said, Adam, you understand,

I've never said shit on stage in all of my career. He goes, that's why it would be hysterical. You got to do it. So now I'm in a $7,500 million movie. I'm thinking, I can't get up and walk out. I got to be one of the boys. So I say the line. Now we go to the premiere. We're in California at the premiere. And lo and behold, I said to my mother, you can't come, Ma. She says, what do you mean I can't come? I said, Ma, you can't come to the premiere with me tonight.

What do you mean I can't come to the premiere? I'm 83 years old. I got to see my son in the movie in Hollywood. Are you crazy? I said, Ma, listen to me. You're 83 years old, but you never heard your son say the things that I said. I'm telling you, you can't do this to me. She said, what, you don't think I've heard every word?

I said, I'm going. I said to my daughter, Jenny, you're not going to the pre-main. She said, what are you, crazy, Dad? I saw Hangover 1 and 2. Don't worry about it. I've seen it all. I said, I can't sit with you then. This is the truth.

I get there. Adam walks up to me and he goes, hey, I got great seats for you and your mother, your daughter, and your wife. Now I'm sitting with my mother to my left, my daughter to my right, and here comes the scene. I begin to shrink in the chair. I swear. Gilbert, I was ready. Oh, no. Here it comes.

I sink down, and I hear me say, we're going to get our dicks sucked. And I hear this roar of laughter coming from the audience. But the loudest laugh of all is my mother. That's great. My mother. I went, Ma, what are you doing? She goes, that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard you say. That's the true story.

And I'm saying it only for the first time on your show. Oh, thank you. For those who don't expect me to say it, it's his influence. It's an exclusive. Now, you've got to complete the Shecky story because that was infamous. Well, what you did was, to our surprise, Shecky was offended and got up and left, I think. And he was saying stuff like, I was in the Navy.

I never heard that. Yeah. I know it. And, I mean, I was surprised that it created such a – and the event went like – I didn't know if I could save it or what. Gilbert finally did save it. But I think it was Joan from The View came up. Oh, they brought it. Yeah.

Yeah. And she – I don't know. She kind of prolonged this problem a little bit. Oh, she made it worse. She made it worse. Because the audience didn't know about this. They didn't know. And then she got mad and she got mad at Shecky, right? And then Shecky tried to throw a punch at Freddie Roman.

Oh, that I didn't even know. This is now news to me. I didn't even know that. And there I am innocently up there singing Ty Rippin with all of this stuff going on. I'm going, wait a second. Am I really going to do this little song now? You know? And Gilbert's playing.

I'm thinking, all I kept thinking, though, Gilbert, was I was thinking, how does Gilbert, is he okay? I was worried about him. Oh, wow. I really was because I knew you wouldn't offend anybody. It's just not you. Yeah. You know? Heaven forbid. No, if you're offended, it's only because you got a problem.

It's not because he intended to offend. There's a difference. Thank you. Well, that's the truth. Ask me why. Why? Now, I know you from all over the place. I mean, I know you from all over the place.

But in fact, where I learned you were part Greek was I remember God knows how many years ago this just stuck in my head. Is this the Cassavetes thing? Yes. Yes. John Cassavetes? You did a special and John Cassavetes came on. I named my son after him. You did? My son John is named after John Cassavetes. Wow, yeah,

because I remember. I saw the special with you and John Cassavetes. Well, I'll tell you how great he was. I remember I bumped into him Christmas time. He's walking with Clint Eastwood in Beverly Hills and they're Christmas shopping, these two guys. Right? One iconic

actor, director, and of course, Clint Eastwood, right? So I woke up and I introduced myself to John. I said, you know, my name is Cassavetes. Not Cassavetes, but it's Cassavetes. I don't know if your papu changed it from Cassavetakis, but I think we might be related. And we got into this conversation. And I was a big fan of his as an actor. I mean, he was amazing. Sure. Yeah, us too. And I said, John, would you ever do my television show? He goes, you know, I don't do television.

I've never done a television variety show, but I'll do yours. And when I went back to CBS and told them that John Cassavetes and Valerie Harper was the female guest on the show. Oh, okay. And so I had these two wonderful, incredible, dedicated actors. And he came on. And I recently watched that sketch and watched how he made a sketch.

A powerful piece of business. He was just that good, you know? He was funny. You're like, what are you, a fruitcake or something? I mean, he would just throw these ad libs that you'd never expect from John Cassavetes. And his son, who I've never met. Oh, Nick, his son, the director.

I'd love to meet him someday because he doesn't know this story, but we probably have some kind of relationship here. Because Cassavetes, Cassavetes, you know, most Greeks change their names from names like Cassavetakis, thinking it was more palatable to say Cassavetes. Don't ask me why. But he didn't know? He didn't know where it was changed along the line? He didn't know?

Yeah. He said it was changed at one point. Yeah, I see. So all of us had names that were too long for the American tongue, I think. Our Papu and our Yayas thought it was too much, you know? I got to find that. I'm trying to wrap my mind around John Cassavetes. Chris Angel is a Christopher Oh, the magician.

Christopher Sarantakos. Yeah. I mean, from Sarantakos to Angel, that's a big spread. And Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston. There you go. That's right. I'd like to fuck Jennifer Aniston.

Apropos of nothing. Yes, I just wanted – just in case she's listening. I wanted her to know. You think she's listening, Gilbert? I'm sure she is. Yeah. Now, also, you've always... Now, you know what?

You're one of my biggest heroes. You know why? How come? I met your wife. Let's get down to brass tacks. I mean, let me tell you, everybody, you know what Gilbert was like, right? You walk in and you see this gorgeous girl with a body you can't believe. She's a sweetheart.

She's bright, intelligent. She works at a school that I went to in my grammar school days, a PS11 in Chelsea. And lo and behold, I look at him, I look at her, and I said, not only do I respect and love your humor, and I'm a big fan, but now you're my hero. She's raising her hand out there. Yay! She's there. She's giving you a thumbs up. Every year, you would do the Jerry Lewis muscular dystrophy.

Yeah. Now, you told the story how that started. He came to my dressing room. I was working at Riviera Hotel. He came to my dressing room. I was working at Riviera Hotel. He knew because as Sheraton, with a bowl of coins, pennies, nickels. I don't even know how much there was. And I walked up and I said, Mr. Lewis, I raised this money in my neighborhood in Chelsea.

This is for your kids. Little did I know that he would someday ask me to be his co-host. Kind of surreal. Surreal. It was surreal. that he would someday ask me to be his co-host. Kind of surreal. Surreal.

It was surreal. Because Sammy Davis once said to me, Tony, if you don't have a pinch of Jerry Lewis in you, you're not worth your salt as a performer. Interesting. Wow. And I think that's true. I think most of us, without even realizing it, do Jerry.

At one point or another, Gilbert, I know you probably in yourself have said to yourself, I'm doing Jerry right. Why am I doing Jerry right now? All of us have done that. And then you see that documentary that they did on him, and you see guys like De Niro say what an influence he was on him. Oh, and Scorsese. And Scorsese.

Yeah, they're all fans. They're all fans of his. So he comes to my dressing room and he says, hey, you came to the key. You came to me when you were a kid, right? Yeah. See how he sounds like him. Wow. He does a great job.

I bet you he does the best, Jerry Lewis. So he says, you wanted to be my co-host in New York. Well, I almost – it was like my father's Aaliyah to me. I mean it was like, what? I'm part of the Jerry Lewis Taldon family in New York, my hometown. I'm going to be the guy there in New York doing this stuff. He goes, yeah. So I started doing it with him. I did it for 33 straight years. And it was the most fun and probably the best work for humankind other than what I do with veterans. I've done that for 45 years. But other than that,

it's the best work I've ever done. And thanks to him, he allowed me to be part of that family. And when they fired him, I quit. I sent in my resignation. I thought it was insulting. I thought it was wrong, the person who did that to him. And I let her know it. So I wrote her a letter. And Jerry called me up in tears and said, thank you so much for that. I said, if you're gonna look, it's one thing. If you want to make a change, I get it. You know what I'm saying? The telethons were starting to lose their audiences.

Maybe it was getting too old, skewing, not young enough, whatever they think. Okay, I get it. But this is the man that put it on the map. You don't just go and fire him and say you're done and humiliate him in the public's eye. And all those years he's dedicated his life to this charity that no one knew anything about before.

Forty different neuromuscular diseases all within the umbrella of muscular dystrophy. diseases all within the umbrella of muscular dystrophy? I mean, billions of dollars raised, buildings, hospitals, you know, genetic science being worked on. And what we know of as genetic science and DNA today came right out of the word from MDA. And this man who's revered in France is fired in America? Please. So I quit. Oh, excellent. I think a lot of people felt like you did about that. Yeah, I was wrong. And Gilbert and I miss them. We miss the telethons because it's a kind of old show business that is just gone. Yeah.

I mean, there was that thing of like when the band would strike up. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Old school. That show business. And you couldn't go to sleep. No. No. You couldn't go to sleep because you'd miss somebody fun at 2 in the morning.

And the thing is with the telethon, how important he was is that you didn't say the muscular dystrophy telethon. You said the Jerry Lewis telethon. And this is just not a host. This is the heart of the telethon. This is the telethon. This is the telethon. I don't care who's on this show or what they do on this show or how great a performance that singer was or that comedian got big laughs. It has to come back to Jerry. And it's unfortunate that in his 90s now.

Yeah, just turned 90. We did a show about him. We did a special show here about him. Thank you. Because he deserves that. And, you know, again. We did a show about him. We did a special show here about him. Thank you. Because he deserves that. And, you know, again, one of a kind like you, Gilbert. This is one of a kind. And I hate to keep complimenting you.

No, go right ahead. Because you're going to think I'm full of shit. But the truth of the matter is. I don't care if you're full of shit. Okay, but I'm not. Because I'm telling you, that's the thing with Jerry. That is the thing with you. That's the thing with Shecky.

She's one of a kind guys. that's the thing with Jerry. That is the thing with you. That's the thing with Shecky. Just one-of-a-kind guys, you know, and especially if you can imitate them. If you can find, if it's a joy to do Bob Hope or a joy to do Jack Benny. Carson, you found it a joy, Johnny Carson, to do Bob, I mean, Jack Benny. It's a joy to do Gilbert, and it's a joy for Gilbert to do Jerry.

That's what's so funny. Yes. Just give me a little bit of Jerry. Just a little bit. Oh, yeah, with the thing with the portion. And he's going out. And then he's going in with Mr. Moivin. And the thing with the howl.

And hanging his leg.'m usually pretty good. Do you ever do that for him? I know you've met him a bunch of times at the Friars. He said you're insane last time he saw you. One of the greatest compliments I got, I went on at some show Jerry Lewis was at, and I, of course, was being incredibly filthy and surprised. And Jerry Lewis came up to me afterwards and he said, Gilbert, you're out of your fucking mind.

And I wouldn't want you any other way. Yeah, there you go. Isn't that nice? And I said, that's such a Jerry Lewis thing to say. I love that. There's a touching story in your book, too. I think he did the second episode of Tony Orlando and Dawn. Right.

And there's a story about him. You go to visit him backstage, and he's got tears in his eyes, and he's telling you he's losing his timing. It was terrible for me. What happened there was I went to CBS, and I said, I want Jerry Lewis as a guest. And they said, you don't know what you're in for. He's a problem. I told Jerry the story. Jerry read the book, so he knows it's in the book.

So I go, well, what do you mean? He goes, oh, he'll just take over it. He'll just be a problem for you. I mean, he's a pain in the ass. And I won't tell you who it's to be. I said it's not fair to him. But anyway, I said, look, it's a dream of mine. Make my dream come true.

If I can't handle it, I shouldn't be on this stage, right? I shouldn't be here. Well, in comes Jerry Lewis, first day of rehearsal, tanned, in a pair of shorts, looking like a superstar that you would think he would. I mean, that's what a star looked like. He walked in with a charisma and a strength. It bolded me over. And I walked up to him and I said,

Mr. Lewis, they tell me that you're a bastard. Please don't let that be true. This is a dream for me. And they told me that you're going to be hard on me. And I said, let me tell you something, kid. I'll be hard on you if you don't do your job. If you do your job, I'll be easy. So we go and we do the sketch. And those of you at home, you can see it on YouTube. Yeah.

And it was in the 1976 convention for the presidential election. I just watched it today. It's fun. It's fun, right? It's fun. I want you to know, Frank, that 90% of what Jerry did in that sketch was ad-libbed. Because all we did was give him a whole bunch of hats, and he played a character for each hat, and he invented that character on the spot. And I'm not kidding you. He just said, give me a bunch of hats. And we gave him hats. You know, a construction worker hat, a lawyer hat, a mafia guy. And each hat, he became this character. Well, it was a very funny sketch because we were running for president at the time.

It was Jerry and Tony for president, right? After the show was over, I go up to thank him, Gilbert, and I walk up to the door and I hear him sobbing. I go, Jerry? By the time he allowed me to call him Jerry, I guess I did my job. I go, Jerry? Yeah. He says, it's me, Tony. Can I come in? No. Come on, Jerry, let me come in. What's wrong? Come on in. I said, what's the matter with you? He said, I was terrible.

I said, you what? He said, I felt like I was working with Dean. I said, well, you were. All I did was make believe I was Dean. If Dean was to say something in my head, I figured let me just be Dean, make you feel comfortable. So I imitated what I thought Dean would say. But I sucked. I was terrible.

I said, Jerry, there's something wrong. This goes deeper than this. He said, Tony, three nights ago, I thought about putting a gun to my head. Okay. I said, what? He said, I heard my kids in the house and I put it away. So months go by. Actually, a couple of years go by.

I go, Jerry, what was that all about? He had such back pain from all the pratfalls that he did, he got addicted to Percocet. The very thing that just killed Prince, by the way. Yeah, he had some dark days. The very thing that just killed Prince, by the way. Yeah, he had some dark days. So Jerry was hooked on a prescription drug that was getting him depressed. And it happened under my nose.

Now, here I was with my boyhood idol on my dream moment. And what am I doing? I'm holding him to my chest. I'm holding him in my tongue. And what am I doing? I'm holding him to my chest. I'm holding him in my arms. I'm telling him I love him. Please know that you're the greatest performer I ever saw. Don't do this. And we became

brothers. We became very close friends. And he's talked about it. I mean, he's talked about some of those dark days. Yeah. But, you know, it goes to show you that, you know, we're all human and we're all vulnerable. And we're all able to find that pitfall. And I never thought growing up that there was a pitfall for Jerry Lewis. Yeah. So when I had my dark day, I remember what Jerry did.

I put my brakes on, got myself back up on my feet, and here I am with you, one of my other heroes. Because you married Darren. That's the only reason. Let's talk a little music. Sure. You know, you started out doing doo-wop on a street corner. You hear stories about guys starting out singing doo-wop on a street corner,

but you really did. Oh, yeah. And so did Paul Simon. That's right. Yeah. That's right. So tell us about the Five Jansen, how you wanted to be like Frank Kleiman. We used to do the Five Jansen. We'd not only sing on street corners and in subways because the echo was so good, but we'd go up on the rooftop.

You know, and Carole King, Jerry Goffin wrote a song called Up on the Roof. And we would go up there. Nine at the stars, put on a show for free, and there the world below can't bother me, right? And we'd go up there, night of the stars, put on a show for free, and there the world below can't bother me, right? And we'd go up there and we'd do all our steps

and we'd do, you know, like in the still of the night, we'd do, you know, just two kinds of people and sing all those doo-wop songs. And that's all I ever wanted to be was the lead singer of a group like Frankie Lyman.

And I was like 13 when he was 13, you know, and I wanted to be him. And so three years later, unbeknownst to me, I'd be working with a young girl called Carole King who wrote up on the roof with her husband, Jerry Goffin, and it described exactly what I was doing three years before I met her. I was 16 years old when I had my first hit record with her in 1961.

The song that she and Jerry wrote. Called Halfway to Paradise. Which was her first hit with Jerry. Right. Also the name of your book, by the way. Yeah. And a terrific read. And she would thank you.

And she was my professor. She taught me how to phrase. And she taught me how. I mean, I owe everything to Carol. Carol was an amazing, 18 years old, in a studio recording Halfway to Paradise. In those days, we had four tracks. Studio man, Frank, we cut that record with four tracks at the church down on 34th Street. You know that studio?

And we were down there, four tracks with 32 pieces in that studio, and the Cookies, the three girls, background singers and Carol singing background. Me and you had one hour, Gilbert, to get a take. If you didn't get your thing in an hour, next song because, you know, four songs, four hours, they booked a lot of money. So when I think back to Carol coming out as an 18-year-old girl and slapping that conductor's wand to the strings of the Philharmonic Orchestra and Charlie Macy, who was one of the great guitar players back in that, and Gary Chester talking and reading the newspaper rudely while she's trying to get their attention. And she goes, listen up. That's great. You listen up. That's great. You listen up. My name is Carole King, and I'm the conductor of this orchestra, and I want your respect and your attention now.

And Charlie Macy, who played guitar in every one of those Burt Bacharach red suits you ever heard, he'll put his paper down and turn to me and went, oh, boy, we've got a formidable person here today. And it was an 18-year-old girl who there's a Broadway show on. I was just going to ask you if you saw it. It makes me cry because it's my childhood. Yeah, I was going to say you witnessed it firsthand.

And now I learned something from that play because in the play, she says to Jerry, I got a chance to do the Shirelles' A Wheel of Tomorrow and Tony, my record. And they're telling me to write the strings because I wrote the strings on it. And I've never written strings before. I'm going to the library to learn how to write for strings. In 24 hours, she comes back and she's writing strings for the New York Philharmonic. I mean, this is just ladies. She's a phenom in sports terms. Yeah, she's unbelievable. If you haven't seen that show, go see it. I want to see it. Yeah. I mean, this is just ladies. She's a phenom in sports terms. Yeah, she's unbelievable.

If you haven't seen that show, go see it. I want to see it. Yeah. I want to see it. And how did Tony Orlando and Dawn come about? That was an accident, Gilbert. That was a total accident because I was working for Clive Davis. I was his general manager, and eventually they were making me vice president of the music division for CBS.

I was 23 years old. I was having a great run. I was representing James Taylor, Blood, Sweat and Tears. I signed Barry Manilow, Laura Nero, all these great artists. And I was the guy that was kind of working their material and getting records recorded by songs they wrote and signing new writers. And Clive gave me this opportunity and I'm thinking man I'm 23 years old general manager of CBS music but you'd had a recording career before and and the Beatles came right killed us right I had to go I was married young 20 years old I had to go take care of my wife and kids we should point out and it's in the book and it's interesting part of your life it's the first time in your life you went and got an actual job believe

you read that book like that. It was the first job I ever had, and I'll never forget, I was so embarrassed because the first day on the job, I didn't know how to open a file cabinet. It's fun. It's one of the fun things in the book. And there was that little button that you used to push to the side, and I'm pulling this thing, and I'm pulling this.

And now the head of the company walks up to me and he goes, what are you doing? I said, oh, no, I'm just checking this out. I just thought this is a wonderful cabinet. This thing is so well made. And he little did he know, I don't know how to get the freaking thing open. So my secretary, her name was Leah, she comes up to me and she says to me, Tony. And then Cheryl Forrestein, both of them come up to me and say, hey, you see this little button? Learn how to open a filing cabinet.

I was never so humiliated. So it was my first job. And it turned out to be a job that I loved and I was successful at. I mean, no high school, only PS11. All I had was the eighth grade at PS11, St. Columbo Grammar School, Catholic Church here in New York. That was my education. And here I am, a general manager, the head of a CBS Music.

What are you kidding me? April Blackwood Music? Are you nuts? How did this? This is a God thing. So I'm sitting there one day and a friend of mine, Hank Medris, who was the, one of the tokens, you know, the lion sleeps tonight. Sure.

Comes to me and he's an old buddy of mine. And he says, I'm broke. I need to pay my rent. He said, will you help me find a, you know, sell this record? I have, I have a record. I need $3,000, Tony. I'm broke. Just let me hear it. He plays me Candida. Written by Tony Wine? Written by Tony Wine, who's in my band now, by the way. I've been in my band for 50 years. I just went to see her sing the other night at Joe McGinty's place.

Well, then, you know, Tony and I, we've been together all these years. She's charming. She's the best. And she's a great writer. So she wrote Candida. But the guy on the record wasn't me. So everything you heard on my record was on that record that I heard with a different lead singer. So I said to Hank, Hank, we're not a label, and I'm not giving this to Clive because Clive is interested in –

Frank, our producer out there, you'll know. In those days, we were interested in album sales, not single sales. Now, remember, I'm having all this success with the Box Tops and James Taylor, and I got some weight now. I got some clout, right? So I call up, and I said to the president of the company, I said, listen, I have a friend of mine, Hank Bedford. Did you ever meet him? No. He said, he's got a hit, big hit.

I said, I think you should listen to this record. Well, he plays it for him. I get a phone call back from Hank. He said, I got to see you. He said, they love the record. I said, great. They want to give me 3,000 bucks. I said, great.

I'm so happy for you. They hate the lead singer. I said, okay, so you don't know the singer. He goes, you do it. I said, okay, so you don't do the singer. She goes, you do it. I said, why me? He said, because didn't you used to do all the drifters demos for Carol? Like you were the guy that they heard your voice for Benny King? Because I used to copy Benny King.

When Carol would write a song, you know, when my little girl is smiling or sweets for my whatever she wrote, you know, I would do the demo. So I knew that genre. I said, Hank, I can't do that. That's moonlighting. I can't do a record with this label. And I work for Clive Davis.

So you can't get fired. He said, well, I won't call it Tony Orlando. of Ukraine will get fired. He said, well, I won't call it Tony Orlando. I said, well, if you call it Joe Schmoen and they'll buy it, maybe we'll have a chance. But I said, I'll tell you what we'll do. I said, what we'll do is we'll go in and we'll do it.

I went back to the old hour I just told you about. I said, if we get a performance in an hour and you don't say it's me and you get your $3,000, I'm happy. So I go in the studio, and I put my vocal. And here's how I put my vocal on Candida. Now, this is a little bit technical. Frank, you're out there, engineer, record business. There's a thing called cell sync, which meant you'd sing a line, stop the music, listen to the next line,

start the music where you just left off for the inducing the next line so here's how we did it Hank what's the first line stars won't come out if they know that you're about go ahead go ahead intro I hear my earphones that I don't don't don't to the eyes won't come out if they know that you're about stop tape what's the Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Then I hear my voice. I just recorded. Stars won't come out if they know that you're about. Now you'll see him punch my next line in because they couldn't match the glow of your eyes. One line at a time. And we did that song.

I knew the chorus because the chorus was a hook that you couldn't not forget. Oh, my Candida. Great song. So I leave there. I'm in my office three months later. Gilbert, Frank. Frank, I pick up the billboard and I see 41 with a bullet the first week of the top 100. But I think it's a song I published. I forgot the title, Candida. I forgot the song. I forgot that I did it. And I look and I see it's Dawn. So I call my secretary and I go, do we ever

show a song to anybody, Candida, for a group named Dawn? Cheryl said, Tony, that's you. That's the thing you did with Hank. I said, so I'm Dawn? He goes, yeah. I said, so. Okay, so I call up Hank. I said, Hank, it looks like you got a big hit. He goes, Tony, this record's a smash. This is going all the way to number one. I said, don't tell Clive. Don't tell anybody. You don't want to lose your job.

I'm now riding through the, coming up to the Lincoln Tunnel, coming in from Jersey, and I hear Bruce Morrow, number one, number one. Oh, my candida, and it's me. And I say to my wife, don't tell anybody that it's me. I don't want to lose my job. And for the whole time that it was number one, I swear to God, I never told this thing. Now he comes back to my office and says,

Tony, I want you to record this song called Knock three times. I listened to it. I said, this is the worst song I ever heard. I said, nobody in the world has, nobody has pipes anymore. They don't have pipes in the Midwest. Twice on the pipes. Twice on the pipes. It doesn't exist. Steam heat.

It's over. Stop it. I'll go in because it's not going to make it. And Gilbert, I go in and cut the song. Remember, I have no contract, no advance. I did it as a favor, and I still don't have a piece of anything with this record. I'm doing this favor for Hank. The record comes out, and like records in those days could do,

in a matter of weeks, it's number one. Now we've sold 4 million of Knock Three Times, 2 million of Candida, 6 million records, and two records. I go up to Clive Davis. I say, Clive, I'm leaving the company. He said, I was just going to make you vice president. I said, I got to leave the company. I got to follow a dream.

He goes, oh, you're Dawn, right? That's hilarious. I said, wait a minute. You've known that I'm Dawn all this time? He said, absolutely. It's the worst kept secret in show business. He said, I'll tell you what. Give me six of my songs from my publishing album in the album and go on the road.

And if the dream don't come true, you can always come home. Wow. That's so nice about it. That's a God stream. Wow. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.

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or a shot on goal in the first period. So whatever the sport, whatever the moment, it's never ordinary. At Bet365. Must be 19 or older. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit ConnectsOntario.ca. And now back to the show. What a mention.

And Dawn, was Dawn not the middle name of one of the executives? Dawn was the first name. At Bell Records. Of two people at Bell Records. Okay. Jay of the Tokens, the lead singer of the Tokens. His daughter's name was Dawn. I see.

And Steve Wax's daughter's name was Dawn, who was the head of promotion. So in Hank's mind, if I can get the head of promotion to promote this record because his daughter's name is on there, figuring it'll be a hit, all I care about is my $3,000 really. He never expected that record to be a hit. Well, it was the door that opened the door to many doors. And here I am with Gilbert, my idol. I've got to tell you, Clive Davis, the little tiny connection with Clive Davis is one time I was at some music event. Right. And I got up to speak.

And, you know, for laughs, I totally tore Clive Davis a new one. I ripped him to shreds. Like only you can do it real. What guts. And then later on, I'm at a party, and Clive Davis walks in. They said, you want to say hello? And I thought, he's not going to want to talk to me. And Clive Davis saw me, walked over, and gave me a big hug.

And I thought, that's when I knew I respected this guy. Yeah, he understood it. He got it. We should ask him to do the show. He's got to have stories. Oh, my God. Stories to burn. Yeah.

You know, one of the great things about being in this business this long is when I think about what a life I've had. You have. I mean, seriously, Gilbert. I mean, for me to work for seven presidents. Wow. I never saw high school. I worked for seven presidents. Wow. I never saw high school.

For me to have a star in the Walk of Fame in Hollywood, my mother to see it happen. Jeez. For me to work on Broadway and do Barnum and have a television show, a network television show, and be such a successful show. And work with your childhood heroes, all of them. All of them. Bob Hope and Lewis. Every single one of them. One day.

Frank and Dean. I mean, for me to work – someday I'll tell you the story. I don't know if you have time to tell the story. Sure. Bob Hope and Lewis. And one day, Frank and Dean. I mean, for me to work, someday I'll tell you the story. I don't know if you have time to tell the story, but Jackie Gleason. I started to tell it to Gil before. Now, did you ever think one day you'd work with Gilbert Gottfried? I was hoping.

And now your answer should be why? Why? Because only Gilbert can say one word, and you can have at least 40 different ways to go with the word why. And I said, I love you. He said, you do? I said, yeah. Why?

And then he got very humble, actually. And he said, thank you, in a real humble voice on that phone call. And this is my first encounter with Gilbert, really. Well, you guys never met through Friday's functions? Yeah, we've met. We've met. Hi, Gilbert. I love you.

But it's never been this long. And I've never had the chance to tell him what I really think of him. And I know it sounds like I'm just saying this to be on his show, but I'm going to tell you something. It's not just show business compliments here. You really are. I really, really love what you do. Oh, thank you. Because you risk.

And because you take chances and you take shots. He does. He's brave. And you're able to make that character of yours. Because I know that when you go home, you talk to Dad. That's like James Earl Jones when he gets home. I know that when you say, hey, baby. Come over here. Because she couldn't have. I know that when you say, hey, baby, come over here.

Because she couldn't have. It couldn't have happened with, hey, baby, come over here. She thought he was cute. It couldn't have happened. There couldn't have been a sexual encounter with you walking and going, what do you think, Dara? Should we do it now? No.

It couldn't happen. It couldn't. Not with Dara. No. Well, she said to me, you want to have sex? And I went, why? I'm not sad. That's what I mean. He brought it right around.

He brought it right around. Here's the interesting thing about that. When I looked at her, I even said to myself, why? It's the same thought. This is so much fun. But I'll tell you, Jerry, I'll tell you that thing with Jackie Gleason was an experience. Tell them that story.

It was a similar kind of thing with Shecky that night in a way. Yeah. But in a different way. So Freddie Silverman, who was running the network at the time, comes to me and says, hey, your first show. Guess who we have as your first guest? The great one, Jackie Gleason. I said, no. That's my first guest.

Yep. Oh, man, I was so excited. The great one. We knew he was like, there was nobody bigger, right, than Jackie Gleason? Yeah. I walk into rehearsals. I sit behind, two seats behind Jackie.

And Thelma and Joyce are up there doing their solos, their songs. And I hear him say loudly to a guy next to him, his like flunky guy. The guy who lit the cigarettes. Yeah, yeah. next to him, his like flunky guy. The guy who lit the cigarettes. Yeah, him. He turns to him and goes, um, who

are these two schvatzes and this amateur knight in Dixie? Now, I told you I know my Yiddish. Unbelievable. What I'm about to tell you is I wouldn't handle this today this way. But those two girls, I was the road manager, manager, protector, friend, brother, father, everything to those two girls.

Right? So I get up. I don't know where I got the nerve. And I walk up and I said, Mr. Gleason? Yeah, pal. I said, say hello to your Amish knight in Dixie. Wow. I said, I expect you to apologize to those two girls,

because if you don't think that they don't know what schvatsa means, which is the N-word, and you know it, if you don't get up and apologize to them, we're going to have a problem. Wow. He goes, really? Well, I'm out of here, pal. Okay. And he gets up and he leaves. I go to my dressing room. I think, oh my God, what I've just done. Freddie Silverman walks in. He goes, Tony, listen to me.

Tony, listen to me. This is the biggest moment in your life. Don't screw it up. We're paying him a lot of money. We're paying him more money than most people get on a variety show, trust me. And I found out then, in those days, it was $25,000 for that one appearance. But in those days, it was a lot of money for one show, 25. It was like people were getting, you know, scale normally. So I said, okay, Mr. Silverman, I'm sorry.

He goes, I talked him into coming back in. Just shut up. I said, okay. I get a knock on my door. First day of the, we're going to do our rest rehearsals and stuff. And I open the door and there's a guy in a plaid jacket with an ascot on. Comes to the door and he says,

Mr. Gleason would like to read the cue cards with you now. In his dressing room, please. I said, okay. I go in. I sit down. There's a cue card guy there. And Jackie goes, all right, no ad-libbing. You understand? I do the ad-libbing. No ad-libbing.

I said, okay, Mr. Gleason. I got you. Okay, now let's read the cards. Get ready. And we read the cards. We go up on the stage. The song that we're singing together is called, I'll teach you everything I know. And I go, mmm, even how sweet it is. I'll teach you everything I know. Pow, one of these days to the moon. So I'm doing all the Gleasonisms.

He's teaching me, right? So we start. Roll tape. I'll teach you everything I know, mmm, even how sweet it is. I'll teach you... Stop the tape! Listen, I want camera three to be over a little bit to my right. Now it's a full house audience there. Take two. I'll teach you everything I know, mmm, even how sweet it is. I'll teach you everything I know. You know how sweet it is? I'll teach you everything I know. Stop tape!

Some other reason. Okay. All right. Jeff Margolis, the director. Let's do it again. I'll teach you everything. Now, by this time, I'd had it up to here, and I'm still pissed at him for what he did to the girls, right?

I'll teach you everything I know. Stop tape. I said, tape is rolling. He looks at me. I go, Mr. Gleason, you're the great one. We shouldn't be worried about making a mistake. You add lib, right? Let's add lib.

Take four. Tape is rolling. I say that. Well, I could see steam coming out of his ears. He was like coming out of his nose, coming out of his ears. He was really pissed now. So I go back. I go, oh, my God.

I don't know what I'm going to do. So I know I created the problem. So the guy comes. And as he's walking away, I see the guy open up a pack of Parliaments and pushes the cigarette up and hands it to Jackie. And then he takes the cigarette out, puts it in Jackie's mouth, lights the cigarette, the flunky guy lights the cigarette for him, and keeps walking.

This is obnoxious. This is beyond words. And this is one of my idols. I'm going nuts. Yeah. Now, Nancy Walker is on the show. Oh, right. She was the other guest.

I get a knock on my door. She goes, honey, I'm going to tell you something. We're doing this next sketch, the grasshoppers. Remember? Old grasshopper. Oh, Kung Fu. Kung Fu. Remember?

Old grasshopper. And I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 19-year-old. We're doing this next sketch, the grasshoppers. Remember? Old grasshopper. Oh, Kung Fu. Kung Fu. Remember? Old grasshopper. And I'm going to tell you, that son of a bitch fired me in 1949, and it's my turn to get his ass.

Don't you worry. I'll take him for you. I go, Nancy, please. I'm already in trouble. No. I want to get my licks in. So we go in, and now Jackie is supposed to take his hands and go, oh, grasshopper, and hit me on the head. You know, but not really.

But hit me on the head. Because it's kung fu, right? He goes, oh, grasshopper, in that voice of his. And he takes his hands together. And he pulls them above his head. And Frank Gilbert, he comes down on my head with everything he had. Bam! And I know I've been hit, man.

I mean, my head was like nails. Now it's Nancy Walker's turn to do Oh, Grasshopper to Jackie. And she goes, Oh, Grasshopper. And I see her rubbing her palms together. And I said, oh, shit. I'm not going to have a show after this. This is my first show, guys. She takes both hands, and she whacks Gleason with a shot you can't believe.

Great. Now I go to my dressing room. I know this is a long story, but you can always cut it out. No, it's good. I go into my dressing room, Gilbert, and I'm now story, but you can always cut it out. I go into my dressing room. Gilbert, and I'm now going, oh, what am I doing? But he made me mad because

he wouldn't apologize. So I'm sitting in there. There's a knock on my door. Show is over. It's Freddie Silverman with a stern face. Let's do the closer. Be nice.

Let's get this done with. I go off to the stage. Place is packed. In those days, you couldn't smoke in the studio. And everybody smoked in those days. Everybody was a smoker, right? Me included. So to my left is Gleason.

Next to him is the flunky with the ascot and the plaid jacket with the parliaments in his hands, and he opens up the parliament, and he sticks the cigarette up, puts the cigarette in Jackie's mouth, and just as he's about to light it, I go, Oh, great one. If we can't smoke, you can't smoke.

Before we go to tape and the whole audience goes, yeah, that's right. If we can't smoke, you can't smoke. And I see Gleason take the cigarette and crack it, throw it to the floor. Now I know this is it.

I'll never do another show again. So we end the show. I'm sitting depressed in my room. I knock on the door. It's the flunky. Mr. Gleason would like to see you in his dressing room immediately. Okay, I go into the dressing room and I can never forget this, Gilbert.

To this day, I walk in, I see this huge back and I can hear him clicking the ice in his drink. He's stirring a drink and he's clicking. I hear the ice like that. And I walk in and I hear him.

Sit down, pal. Yes, sir, Mr. Gleason. That script on the table, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Is that for me? I said, yes, sir. That's your script to take home. We give it to every guest. Open it to the first page. I open it to the first page I open it to the first page I look it says dear Tony I was wrong I apologize Jackie

oh my god put it in writing put it in writing how about that turns around to me and shakes my hand and I said I learned a lesson today

that man called me every single tape night and shakes my hand. I said, I learned a lesson today. That man called me every single tape night, every night for four straight years on that show, Gilbert. And he'd say things like, why are you wearing a silver zipper on a tuxedo? I mean, can't you afford a black zipper? You know what that looks like on television? Or he would say, you read that line with no timing at all.

For God's sake, start learning some comedy, will you? Or he would give me advice. He became a mentor. He became a coach. By phone from Florida, he would call me from his house. I'll never forget. In Verary, Florida is where he lived. And he would call me every single week. You'reary, I'll never forget, Inverary, Florida is where he lived. And he would call me every single week.

You're wearing too much makeup. Bah, bah, bah, bah. Or he would say good things. You did good. You did good. And so Jackie became, so it's a happy ending to this terrible story. But it turned out to be a great thing for me and him. And he became a good friend. It is a nice ending because sometimes you meet your heroes

and you just don't know how it's going to go. Well, no, and, you know, he did apologize to Talmon Joyce, and that's the beauty of it. Oh, wow. He walked up to them and said, listen, girls, I'm sorry. I really am. And that show happened because of Fred Silverman's babysitter? Yes.

Donnie Orlando and Don? Well, Frank, no wonder you're working with Gilbert. I was always wondering why. I just figured it out. He reads the books and you just go, why? I'll tell it real quick anyway. You figured it out.

What was the question again? Red Silverman's babysitter. Yeah, he was watching. She's the one that watched, that said to him, you ought to hire Sonny and Cher. Right. Saw him either on the Merv Griffin show or Mike Douglas, I forget. And he did. When she saw us on Merv Griffin, she said,

remember I told you about Sonny and Cher? And that's how we got the show. I love that story. Melissa Silverman. You remember her name. Oh, yeah. And he's still a good friend. What do you think?

Yeah. You want to read some names out to Tony and see what he remembers about them? Do you want to sing? Oh, okay. Well, you know, with Tie a Yellow Ribbon, you had some, there were some complaints about that song. And I think the chief complaint was that Gilbert Gottfried wasn't singing it in duet with you. Oh, you heard about that? Yes. That really got to you?

Yeah, yeah. Was that in the Enquirer or something? Wait, did you hear that story? I didn't think it would get to you at all. Yeah, yeah. They've tried to keep it hidden. He says to me, why? I got to share something with you, Tony.

He says, well, I don't know. I hope Tony will sing with me. He says, maybe you should print the lyrics out just in case he doesn't remember them. I said, I have a feeling he remembers them. Are you familiar with Tye Yellow Ribbon? I think so. Okay. Are we ready?

Should I play the music? You want to sing it with me? Yes. Wait a minute. Okay. I'll give you the music. You're really going to sing this with me? Yes.

You and I, karaoke time? Yes. We're going to do a karaoke with my idol? Yes. Why? Let's do it. Come on. You start it.

Go ahead. Okay. I'm coming home. Wait, start again. Start again. It's the wrong fucking key. He's singing in the key of Z. He doesn't have a key.

I was going to tell you. Go ahead. Do it again, Frank. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm coming home. I've done my time. Start again. Rick, you'll put the headphones on.

You've got music. Let's do this right. Oh, I've got music? This is our big moment. Wait a minute. Let's start. And I'll give you the cue when to start. Like, yeah.

Go. Go. Take your time. Okay, Gilbert. I'm coming home. I've done my time. Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine. If you receive my letter telling you I should be

free, then you'll know just what to do. Hurry! If you still want me. Get to it! If you still want me. Oh, I'm so impressed. Tie a yellow ribbon around the old

tree. It's been three long years. Do you still want me? If I don't see a ribbon round the old oak tree, I'll stay on the bus, forget about us, put the blame on me. If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree. Why am I sounding like you? Okay, come on. But driver, please look for me.

Cause I couldn't bear to see what I might see. I'm really still in prison and my love's me. A simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free. I wrote and told her, please. I wrote and told her. Okay, when it's on you now,

chorus, go ahead. I'm the old old tree. Tie a ribbon around the old old tree. ahead. I'm the old oak tree. Tire rippin' round the old oak tree. Tire rippin' round the old oak tree. Tire rippin' round the old oak tree. Tire rippin' round the old oak tree. Just get on the bus. Forget about us. Put the blame on me.

You know why she knows you? She sings like you, too. Go yellow and round the old, old street. A hand for Gilbert. Yes, sir. This was a first. Show business. Oh.

Oh, that. Wow. That's you, Gilbert. Wow. That's you, Gil. That was Dara singing it. It's not quite Tell Me, Joyce. You know, I haven't had more fun. Thank you for inviting me to this show. I mean, I haven't had this much fun.

I don't even know when. Seriously. We have fun. Don't you have fun doing this radio show? Yeah, I'm going to tell you. Seriously. We have fun. Don't you have fun doing this radio show? Yeah. I'm going to tell you something, and I mean it. This is the same thing I told Dick Van Dyke. He sang Dick Van Dyke.

I sang two duets with him, Put on a Happy Face and Super Califragilisticexpialidocious. Oh, that must have been something. Yes, and I'm telling you the same thing I told Dick Van Dyke. I think I just came. Boy, it's easy for him, huh? She's jumping up and down. She's literally jumping up and down. I have a new nickname for him, if that's the case. We're calling him Sir Speedy from now on. I have a new nickname for him if that's the case.

We're calling him Sir Speedy from now on. There's so much we could ask you about. Gilbert, Gilbert, Sir Speedy Godfrey. That's it. There's so much in the book, Tony. There's so many things that you've done. I mean, you're one of those guests that we could go on and on with. So we'll have you back another time.

Well, I'm sorry for talking so much. No, no. You have to come back. I mean, you know. I've had a ball. Anytime somebody cancels and you just call me. Well, how often are you in New York? And the key word would be why? You're living in Branson these days.

I do. I live in Branson and Vegas. Right. And how many gigs a year are you doing, roughly? 138. That's a lot. Yeah. Went to your website. You're booked. Yeah. You're living in Branson these days. I do. I live in Branson and Vegas. Right. And how many gigs a year are you doing, roughly? 138. That's a lot. Yeah. Went to your website.

You're booked. Yeah. You're booked solid. I'm very lucky. You know, after 55 years in this business to work that much, really, I'm very, very lucky. And this, I want to say this because I know this is not a plug because this is not an event that you pay for. But this week I'm in town because when your wife called me to do this show, she didn't even know I was coming in at this point. She said, when are you coming to town? And I said, well,

I'm coming in to receive this honor, the Ellis Island Medal of Honor. And I didn't know at the time really what that was. But I knew it was prestigious because it was like $100,000 a table or something like that. It was some ridiculous money to go to this event. So I Google it and I see six presidents got it. I see Donald Trump and Hillary got it and Joe DiMaggio. Oh, yeah. Quincy Jones. Muhammad Ali.

Quincy Jones. Yeah. All these different – Sinatra. Sinatra. I'm going, man, this is really an honor. This is big time. So when I mentioned it to Dara on the phone, of course Frank, taking care of business, said if you want to plug it.

I just didn't want to plug it. I just wanted to let you know the kind of company that you asked to come here today. I wanted to give you a feeling of like I really hit it big. I love being with you. Because I questioned whether I really wanted you. It got back to me. This has been delightful. It was fun for us.

At home, I've still got the Bell record with the silver label of Knock Three Times. And it was just a song that we always played in my house. In the days when you used to go buy singles, when you could go and buy a 45 and watch the songs. And some record stores would tell you where the song was placing on the charts. And, you know, we could collect records there. Sure. There was no categorization. You could be number one.

And an instrument like Summer plays could be number one. So it was a great time in the music business. It was a free-for-all. To hear that story attached to Dawn is just so funny, that there was no Dawn, and then you got up to Clive, and he says, yeah, it's the worst-kept secret. Yep, he knew. And I remember from those little records, I still remember as that little plastic swastika that you put in the middle. That was intercourse to you, wasn't it? Yes.

Before we run, I told him that you were present the famous night, the historic night that Frank put Dean and Jerry together. Maybe you could take us out with that story. I was the first act after that moment. the historic night that Frank put Dean and Jerry together again. Oh, God, yes. So maybe you could take us out with that story. I was the first act after that moment. Now, we all knew something was up, and there was a rumor that Dean might be coming over. When I looked down the hall, I was standing there ready to go on, and I see Sinatra and Martin coming down the hallway.

At the Jerry Lewis Teller time. In Vegas, yeah. In the coming down the hallway. 76. I'm going, oh, my God. This is really going to happen. They walk out, and everybody remembers that event. Jerry and Dean, for the first time, Frank brings them together.

And I was so moved. All of us were. And Frank and Dean had come through the door. All of us were. And Frank and Dean had come through the door. And I said, Dean, that was really an unbelievable moment with you and Jerry. He goes, fuck him. And he kept looking.

And my dream was but. And lo and behold, here's the funny thing is, the song that we were planning to sing when we didn't know this was going to happen was, What the World Needs Now is Love. And it was not even set up to be that way. to happen, was What the World Needs Now is Love. And it was not even set up to be that way. We walked out singing What the World Needs Now is Love. And all I kept hearing when I was singing the song was, fuck him. And Jerry graciously laughed at that story at his house one day. And he said to me, Tony, I loved Dean. He even said to me, Dean sits in that chair in his office at home.

He says, Dean sits there. I talk to Dean. So Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin may have had their day where they had their problems and they split for whatever reasons. They split. There are all kinds of stories. Yeah, sure. But the truth is Jerry did love and still does to this day Dean Martin. So for anybody out there who's a Martin and Lewis fan, trust me, there was a deep love there.

It was like a marriage that just didn't work, but they loved each other. Yeah, and he's still hanging on to it after all these years, and there's something sweet about that. And Dean Martin loved Jerry Lewis? Yeah. And Dean was, you know, one thing I noticed when I did the roast, for instance, Dean was a loner. Dean was not the party guy people thought him to be. Dean would go to bed before anybody else. He'd get up early to go play.

His thing was to get up early to play golf. Seriously. Nothing bothered him. He was a realist. Show business didn't impress him at all. Stardom was a shootingist. Show business didn't impress him at all. Stardom was a shooting star. You die, they forget you anyway, so why worry about it?

Which roast did you do? I did Muhammad Ali roast, and I did Dean. Right. Yeah. That was something. I look at those roasts now and think of some of the people I was sitting on that day. I know. Amazing. They pull out Orson Welles and all kinds of people.

And, you know, they wouldn't let you do this. This you as a comedian would love. You know, they wouldn't have writers write for you on that show. You had to write your own stuff. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. That's interesting. You had to do it yourself.

And I was on with Freddie Prinze. I said, Freddie, do me a favor. Come on. Write me some jokes. Write your own jokes. You're sick of swim Write your own jokes. You're sick of swim on your own. And I did.

I mean, I don't remember what I said. I don't know if it was funny or not. You know, it's just some canned laughter, I'm sure. You were a kid. But I was a kid when I looked back. Now, this brings us to another story. You were friends with Hungarian Jew-Rican Freddie Prinze. No, he was a Hungarican. Geraldo is the Jew-Rican.

Oh, he's a Jew-Rican. He's the Hungarican. Yes. But you were close to Freddie Prinze. Very close. Freddie's last kiss, the last pair of lips that kissed, his lips were mine.

Yeah, it was a moment, kiss. The last pair of lips that kissed his lips were mine. Yeah. It was a moment, it was a moment, you know, I loved Freddie. He was 10 years younger than me. He was brilliant, Gilbert.

Freddie Prinze was brilliant. I remember doing the Tonight Show with Freddie and Bob Hope was his guest and he was hosting. Freddie Prinze was 22 years old, hosting the Tonight Show. And I was second on because the bigger star goes on first. The earlier you are on, the bigger you are. So Hope goes on and as he comes off, he turns to me and says, I don't know who that kid was I just worked with, worked with.

But that kid's a genius. That came out of Bob's mouth when, I mean, and he was overwhelmed by Freddie. Freddie was one of these people who came and went and had a two-year career. And look at the impact he had on people. Two years. You know? And the first variety show he ever did was with me and we became very, very, very close. A lot of charisma.

It was a big loss. It was the first time I saw someone die in my life. I mean, the experience of seeing someone pass away. Because, you know, they pulled the plug in essence. You know, he was dead. You know, he was brain dead, so they just pulled the plug. And when they pulled that plug

and he went just gray, it was like losing a family member. You write about it in a very touching way in the book. I loved Freddie. And Freddie, you know, taught me a lot. He taught me a lot. Freddie was a... Freddie was very special. If you look back at some of his stuff now,

you see how ahead of his time was, you know. And his idol was Lenny Bruce. Yeah. And I remember you guys together on Chico and the Man. Yeah. I'm going to recommend your book. I mean, you wrote it 10 years ago, but it's a terrific showbiz memoir, Halfway to Paradise. And it's one of those stories where it's touching because you talk about being a kid on Tar Beach and on the rooftops.

Yeah, and you know what I tried to do, Frank, in that book? I said, I'm too young to write a life story. What is this? There were so many stories about me and Freddie and things that went on. I wanted my kids, the good, bad, and the ugly, my divorce to my first wife, my son. I wanted him to know the truth from Dad. I didn't want somebody to say, this is what happened. I wanted to write the book

so that there was the good, I took responsibility for everything I did in that book. Tried to make it as interesting as I could, but that book was really written for my kids. Well, it's a page turner. I read a lot of books for this show. Thank you.

And it's a fun journey. Thank you for that. And I love how it ends with to be continued. That's right. I got that from Bobby Darin, you know, Bobby Darin. Oh, my God. That's another one. Yeah, I did an album called The Bobby Darin Story, and it was a recorded album. And at the end of the album, he says, to be continued.

And it really impressed me. So I said, you know what? This is not the end of this. This is the only book I'll ever write. So I'm writing a book right now. I just call it One Life. That's This is not the end of this. This is the only book I'll ever write. So I'm writing a book right now just called One Life. That's the title of the book. Okay.

And I'm just repeating some of the stories I've told you, but plus what was in that book, just, you know. And in addition to the Ellis Island honors, where- Where did I tell the Gilbert Gottfried story? Yeah. Yeah. Your pop-up book. Where can we see you perform?

He had an orgasm when he sang Yellow Ribbon. It's historical. This is historical what happened here today. Where can we see you perform, Tony? The opening line of the song is, I'm coming home, I've done my part. I just

realized, I just realized, hey, Dara, I just realized what turned him on. That was the exact second it happened. I know. Sir Speedy, I know. I love you, Gilbert. I love you, Frank. Thank you, buddy.

We'll have you back. We barely scratched the surface. Oh, my God. I look forward to it. We have to have you back. Oh, Gene Pitney, Jackie Wilson, Paul Anka, Clark, Murray the K. You knew everybody. And your George Burns story in the book is a winner.

Oh, so many. I'll come anytime. Well, we love it. You know, anytime. You know what? When I'm coming back to the city, I'll say, hey, I'm coming in. If you need somebody to come in. Oh, absolutely.

We'd love it. Absolutely. Thank you. Oh, thank you. He's going to send you out. Okay. Well, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.

We've once again recorded at Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa. Thank you, Frankie. And our guest today was the Greek-Oreican legend, ladies and gentlemen, Tony Orlando. My new favorite episode. Yes. This was a great one. Thank you. And thanks for this gift, really.

This was a gift to me. Oh, wow.