Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 108. Marilyn Michaels
Episode Date: June 20, 2016Impressionist, singer and comedienne Marilyn Michaels has spent her entire life in show business, performing in the Yiddish Theater at the tender age of 7, signing with a major record label as a teena...ger, working the Copa, the Catskills and Vegas showrooms and appearing on virtually every TV variety show of the 1960s and '70s. Also, Marilyn idolizes Judy Garland, duets with Frank Gorshin, smooches Phil Slivers and takes advice from Jack Benny. PLUS: Gottfried "meets" Streisand! Danny Kaye makes his move! Orson Welles gets verklempt! Ethel Merman lays down the law! And the rise and (tragic) fall of George Kirby! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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please go to connexontario.ca. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast.
I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg.
Our guest this week is a singer, actress, comedian, and the greatest and most versatile female impressionist in the history of show business.
Stepping on stage for the first time at the tender age of seven,
she went on to perform in the Catskills and the world-famous Copacabana,
starred in the national tour of Funny Girl,
headlined on Broadway and Vegas showrooms,
and appeared in popular TV shows like The Love Boat, The Name of the Game, Fantasy Island.
She also starred in a show near and dear to the podcast,
The Copycats.
Unbelievable woman.
Variety show appearances include The Dean Martin Show.
I'm sweating.
The Red Skelton Hour.
Terrific.
The Jonathan Winters Show.
It's brilliant.
Hullabaloo. Hour. Terrific. The Jonathan Winters Show. It's brilliant. Hullabaloo.
Yes.
Hollywood Palace.
Oh, my.
Craft Musical.
Oh, my.
Easy for you to say.
Did I do all that?
The Ed Sullivan Show.
Right here.
The Flip Wilson Show.
Right here on our stage.
And Sammy and company.
Yes.
In a career spanning over 60 years.
That's enough.
She shared the stage and screen with everyone.
Ah, well, almost.
From Jackie Gleason.
True.
To Phil Silvers.
Yeah.
To Don Rickles.
Ah.
To Johnny Carson. Ah. to Orson Welles, just to name a few. But perhaps her single greatest achievement was singing duets on the classic recording,
Moishe Oishe's Hanukkah Party.
Elohechem, Elochem, Elochem.
How did you get this?
Please welcome the multi-talented Marilyn Michaels.
Whoa, I'm exhausted from this introduction.
We pride ourselves on our lengthy intros.
I would say so.
Hello.
Welcome.
You have done your due diligence, as they say, Frank.
Santo Padre.
You're too sweet.
Now, talk about the first time we met.
Oh, why?
Why?
Does people want to know that? Sure. Yes. Talk about the first time we met. Oh, why? Why?
Does people want to know that?
Sure.
I was watching you.
I was at a comedy club, and I don't want to say how long ago, and I was with Charles Jaffe.
Yeah, Woody Allen's guy.
Woody Allen's guy.
And I used to hang out with him.
He wanted to get lucky, but it wasn't very appealing.
to hang out with him. He wanted to get lucky, but it wasn't
very appealing.
So...
And he said, there's this young kid
who's going to come on. He's
unbelievable.
And then there were all the comics, and then you came
on, and I
said, oh, and you took the
shot glasses and you put it on
your eyes and you said, where's Delancey Street? Something like that. I thought, I said, oh, and you took the shot glasses and you put it on your eyes and you said, where's Delancey Street?
Something like that.
I thought, I said, this man is a genius.
I don't want to embarrass you.
But immediately I knew you were a genius.
And it was a thrilling night because of that.
That's the first time.
Yeah.
And I remember after I met you, I went home and said to my mother, I said, I met Marilyn Michaels.
What?
And she said, she's related to Moshe Osher. That's the first time. That's what she said.
Really?
And she's the one I heard the name Moshe Osher from.
No kidding. Well, yeah.
So tell us who Moshe was. Because he had a career of his own.
Because his waspish wolf. us who Moishe was. Because he had a career of his own. His waspish voice.
Tell us who Moishe was.
That was my uncle.
Far from the wasp.
My uncle.
He was an iconic cantor.
And he was also a movie star in film.
He did film.
He was a movie star.
Films of the 30s.
You know, these extraordinary.
The Singing Blacksmith.
Yes.
How do you know that?
We do a little homework.
That's fabulous.
I don't know how.
Did you train him to do that?
Do you teach him how to speak Yiddish after hours?
It's just brilliant.
Yeah.
It's just brilliant.
So I grew up in, you know, kind of my dad sang with the Metropolitan Opera in the chorus of the Met.
He was a basso profundo.
I spent a lot of time at the Met.
And then I would go downtown to the Yiddish theater and hang around and watch my mother perform Frejda la Oysher.
Say that word, Frejda la Oysher, and my uncle Moysha Oysha.
And that's how I started.
I started out singing in the choir for my uncle when I was 14 years old and recording.
And that's how I got my stage legs.
I was on stage when I was seven years old. Now, the Yiddish Theater, was that around 2nd Avenue?
Houston Street?
Yes.
Yes, it was.
Right.
All gone.
It's gone.
I know.
I mean, that's where I lived.
And there must have been about 25 theaters all along 2nd Avenue at that time.
So it was, oh, I'm starting to talk like Elizabeth Taylor.
I don't know why that happened.
It just happened.
I was never fat.
I was only bloated.
Very bloated.
I'm so happy to be here.
So there were these theaters that were lined up all along Second Avenue.
And my parents wanted to keep me normal, which why did they want to do that?
So I could only perform on like, you know, Christmas, vacation, Hanukkah, Easter.
They would take, my mother would take me to perform on stage with her.
And that's how, that's how it started.
I wonder if there's any traces of the, I know the theaters are gone, but do you wonder if there's a plaque or anything down there commemorating that history?
There's a deli down there.
Now, who are some of the famous people that came from the Yiddish theater?
That's a little too, what is it, generic.
Can you be more pinpointed about it?
Well, you know, there were great people who came from the Yiddish theater. I mean, Paul
Muni and
that's all I can remember right now.
Well, like Molly Picon.
Well, there you go. Yeah, I think
Edward G. Robinson. Yes, and
Molly was like an aunt to me.
You know, she was
like my...
I'm going to cry now.
This is upsetting to me.
This entire show
has already upset me.
It's okay.
It's memory lane time.
I need a tissue.
I'm going to have to talk
to my therapist
about the whole thing.
I went to do a thing
with Gilbert Gottfried.
They wanted to know
about the old days.
I didn't want to do it.
I didn't want to talk about that.
So you would be going back and forth.
You'd be spending time with...
You sobered right up.
You'd be spending some time with people like Molly Picon
and then you'd go back to the Met and hang out with Lily Pons
and people like that.
How do you know that?
Well, we're historians here in Maryland.
I'm so impressed.
Herschel Bernardi.
Yeah, he's another one.
Herschel Bernardi.
So Herschel Bernardi.
I'm very upset.
You said that.
That's a disastrous voice for me, that word, Herschel Bernardi.
You mentioned this jastrous voice for me.
That word, Herschel Bernardi.
My mother would say, I babysat for Herschel Bernardi, don't you see, in my mind?
She did.
And Herschel Bernardi was a child in Moishe's movie.
In one of Moishe's movies, he was the little kid.
Wow.
And Singing in the Dark or one of those? No, no.
Oh, my God.
That was the English language one.
What is it with you?
Yeah.
That's the one with Joey Adams. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's really, that's, oh, hello. Yeah. That's
major, major trivia about the Yiddish theater and film. And the fact that that was the only
English speaking movie of my uncle Moshe. And he did it with Joey Adams and it was one of the first
films that was done where they actually
went to Germany to
film on location. Yeah, I found that
fascinating. Did you know he made a movie with Joey
Adams? No. Yeah.
And Kay Medford was in it. Kay Medford!
Remember her, Gil? Oh, yeah.
She played... From the Dean Martin show.
Right, and she played... What?
She was on the Dean Martin Variety Show.
She played Barbara Streisand's mother in the film, in Funny Girl.
Funny Girl.
And Cindy Adams, the beloved Cindy Adams, was the kind of showgirl.
You know, she was, at that time, a gorgeous, gorgeous woman.
And then an actor by the name of Lawrence Tierney.
I mean, I know you guys.
You know all this stuff.
So they had all the people
who were like bit players were
major people.
And that was, yeah.
I have it. I want to show that
film to myself. And your father,
what's your father's name? My father,
Harold Sternberg, who was a
basso profundo and he sang with the Metropolitan Opera with the Chorus of the Met for 40 years.
And he's an extraordinary voice, very deep, very, very deep voice.
And he taught me music, and he taught me solfeggio,
and he wasn't Italian, but everything was very Italian with my father.
You know, Daddy, you're not Italian.
I don't care.
We're going to be Italian today.
We're going to learn the cerveza.
Hey, you know, you're going to get it right.
You really grew up in a showbiz family.
I mean, on all sides.
It looks that way, darling.
Yes.
Isn't it strange?
I don't sit around and think about it until I'm in an interview like this, where I say, oh, wow, how different that was.
Can you describe what went on in Yiddish theater?
No, I can't.
That's very difficult.
What went on?
It was the same thing that happened on Broadway.
Well, you know, all of the comedians, I found that as a kid growing up and being backstage all the time
and being held in their arms before they went on stage, looking at these women, They were brilliant comedians. You know, Henrietta
Jacobson, Mae Jacobson.
The Jacobson family is a long
line of great
performers.
I'm trying to think of all their names.
Oh, they were so great.
Razel Bozic, who ended up doing
a movie with
Crossing the Lancy.
Oh, yes!
Gilbert and I like that film.
Joe Micklin Silver.
Joe Micklin Silver, right.
With Steve...
That's Peter Rieger.
Peter Rieger.
Peter Rieger.
And the girl.
The ex-Mrs. Spielberg.
Oh, yes.
Amy Irving.
Yes, and Amy.
It's a good movie.
Raising was brilliant in that.
Anytime they took somebody
from the Yiddish stage
and they threw them into like a,
oh, ah, ah, what's the guy's name?
I'm going to be bad with names.
You know, the top five-ish.
Yeah.
Five-ish Finkel,
who ended up getting an Emmy Award or whatever.
Tony, an Emmy.
I don't know.
For Picket Fences?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
God, you're crazy.
He was in the Yiddish theater too?
I'm so turned on. Yeah, yeah. God, you're crazy. He was in the Yiddish theater, too? I'm so turned on.
Oh, Marilyn.
How did you...
Go ahead, Gil.
I'm just saying, you already imitated Carol Channing's speaking voice.
Can you sing anything by Carol Channing?
Why would I want to do something?
You know, just like three lines such an
annoying thing to do a kiss on the hand maybe quite cantonian true but you know who did that
rich rich little did that yeah mario canton does a good one, too. Mario Cantone. He does a kick-ass.
He's done it on this show.
Isn't he wonderful?
He's brilliant.
Oh, I love him so much.
You know, I think of all you guys as my babies.
I really do.
I'm going to get upset.
So, Marilyn, how did you get from singing?
I was telling Gil and Dara, who's here, about your singing career.
You worked with the famous record producer Phil Ramone, who produced Paul Simon and Billy Joel.
How did you go from singing with mom?
And I know we're jumping around.
It's all right.
Was it the Catskill of trying to get the chronology?
Was it the Catskills first and then the recording career?
No, actually.
It was the recording career.
I was at Music and Art High School, you know, LaGuardia.
LaGuardia, yeah.
I was a music student, and then I switched over to the art course because I'm a painter.
I'm a fine artist.
Saw your paintings.
Yeah, did you?
They're great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But the thing is, I used to have like a doo-wop group in school at Music and Art, and I was writing songs. So I had my own group of these four guys. They were dangerous people, those four boys. They would carve their names into my parents' grand piano.
You know, they did bad things.
But they were talented.
So we went.
What's a little vandalism between friends?
My mother would say, look what they did to the antique piano.
I said, but mommy, they're so talented.
And we're making a record together.
I was like, so fabulous.
I mean, unbelievable.
So I took these guys and the songs I wrote,
and we went into Enola Studios, and we recorded one of the songs. And then I took the CD.
Well, it was a CD at the time.
I hate to tell you.
It was a little thing that, you know, a little acetate. And I went to the Brill Building and I actually pounded the pavements. I mean, the original story of having pounded the pavements
and hello, I'm a very good singer. Would you sign me to a recording contract? That's what happened.
Tony Orlando was here and he
had a similar experience he used to go door to door it went to the real building and all the
and the buildings at tim pannelli selling his wares exactly i was 17 years old and uh and i
said yeah yeah you're you're good and they signed me a guy named raywater, who was the brother of Marvin Rainwater. And I started to record.
Phil Ramone was the record producer.
And they couldn't afford a string section.
So Phil said, I have an idea.
I'm going to play the violin.
So he played the violin part.
And I said, well, that's one violin.
It sounds a little chintzy.
And he dubbed that violin over two more times.
And we had a string section.
That's great.
I think that was the first time that was done.
I think that's the first time that they overdubbed that way.
So that was, he did my first demo.
And one of your songs was a response to a popular hit song.
Was it Ray Peterson's Tell Laura I Love Her?
What happened after that is I ended up auditioning again for yet another record company,
happened after that is I ended up auditioning again for yet another record company, which was RCA Victor, for Hugo and Luigi. You know, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps.
Oh, that's great.
And they were great, great producers. So I auditioned for them. I was playing the piano,
singing, and they gave me this, you know, gift of being the girl who did the answer song to Ray Peterson's Tell Laura I Love.
Which was a big song.
Big song.
Big song.
And so I was recording with RCA.
It was a very upsetting but very wonderful time.
And so you did that for a while.
So you were really a singer.
I mean, as far as you weren't in comedy.
No, no, no.
I was a singer.
And then I had been doing impressions all along.
And I just slowly.
When did you first discover you could do voices?
I used to do them in the house, like just throwing them away.
I would do.
Put another nickel in the nickelodeon
It was a Teresa Brewer. Teresa Brewer, yeah, sure.
How much is that dog in the window?
The one, nobody paid attention to it.
Where the boys are, my true love will be Connie Francis. And there was another audition
for a guy who ran the Roxy Theatre, Roxy Rotherfell. I was 14 years old. So I auditioned,
and I sang for him. And he said, do impressions I said yeah and so he won I did
impressions for him and he wanted to sign me but I was still going to school so anyway so then I
I did the impressions and when I started to do club dates and at that time it was like a comedian
no no the show would start off like in thekills, it would start off with a dance team.
And they were the hardest working of everybody because they would, like, dance for, like, five minutes.
And then they would collapse.
They were, like, dripping wet, you know.
And they got $3 to, like, die, you know. It was horrible.
And then came the girl singer, and that was me.
And then the guy who closed the show was always the comic.
I see.
Always the comedian.
And I started out, and I got $50 a show, and my manager was Harry Adler, who was managing Alan King.
Oh, wow. That's King. Oh, wow.
That's right.
He was something.
He took $5 from every $50 everybody made.
He wasn't an idiot.
He got very rich on $5 from everybody.
Wow, I like that.
Yeah.
So then, yeah, so I started and went from $50 to $100 to $75 to $100.
What I'm talking about is fantastic.
I was jumping, pumping, and then I went with him and he was terrific.
You know, I just got a flashback.
We should do a dueling Jackie.
Oh, yeah.
Of you on the copycats.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Where they attach you with these giant hands.
With like one hand with the thumb sticking up and the other hand with the.
Yes.
Yes.
And you were doing it, Jackie, like all of a sudden this person over here is an expert on this.
And he's looking at me like.
I was dressed like him, pumping and jumping.
Because I did my first show in a Casgills with Jackie at the, was it the Brickman Hotel?
It was one of those hotels.
It was absolutely brilliant.
Yeah.
I mean, so funny.
Oh, my God.
Oh, he's still funny.
Unbelievably funny.
So you went from being a singer to being a comic because the comics were headlining?
Yeah, I wasn't a comic.
And I wasn't doing any comedy or anything.
I was doing impressions.
I was doing a few impressions.
But I could only do a few of them.
You know,
maybe I did six.
I did, you know,
Judy Garland and
Sarah Vaughan.
Okay.
Tonight we are so far apart.
Bring it back to my lonely heart.
So I was doing these people.
And maybe six, maybe seven, Judy Garland was my big one.
six, maybe seven. Judy Garland was my big one. And in doing the impressions, the little comic things, characteristics would come out. I started to get laughs, you know. So here I am. I'm like
killing, I'm singing, I'm screaming, I'm singing a hearty soprano to get them to love me. And then,
you know, through the years,
I found that they will love me if I make them laugh.
It's great.
Who needs to, like, lose, you know,
cracks yourself out with the screaming?
So, oh, boy, oh, boy.
So that happened very slowly, that the comedy.
And then my mother said, there's this new girl, Barbara Streisand.
You can do that.
So I started to watch Barbara Streisand.
I picked that up really quickly.
And I put that into the act.
And you have to help me.
And that was the beginning.
Doing the impressions led to the comedy.
I'm not a stand-up.
I don't really do stuff.
A singing impressionist is something you don't see anymore.
I mean, you don't see impressionists anymore, period.
But you were an accomplished singer.
You don't see impressionists anymore?
I mean, the Saturday Night Live is different.
Yeah, but I mean don't see impressionists anymore? I mean, the Saturday Night Live is... Yeah, but not... I mean, stand-alone impressionists.
It used to be all the people who were on copycats
were...
They used to go out on stage and go,
you know, imagine Humphrey Bogart was your waiter
and might go something like this.
And they adjust their collar and turn around.
Yeah, like Frank Gorshin and david
fry and people like that and rich little yeah but there are so there are people who do impressions
i see but that that impressionist thing went the way of ventriloquism last guy i could think of
was danny gans the guy in vegas he passed away but but he was the last headlining. This is getting very, very depressing.
No, no, I understand what you mean, that they did it in a presentational way, you know, and that that doesn't exist anymore.
But things change.
I mean, like variety television is still there.
It's just called The Voice, you know. It just changes.
It morphs like a kaleidoscope.
It morphs into other things, but it's the same thing.
It's the approach that becomes different.
However, my act is still the same.
And before I forget, do some Judy Garland.
Just like that?
Yes.
Well, I don't know.
It was like, do you want Judy talking?
I met her.
I was performing in Vegas with Roger Miller.
Do you remember Roger Miller?
We just talked about him.
In the summertime.
But all my dream.
Yeah, yeah.
Dang me, dang me.
Dang me, dang me.
And Roger liked me.
He said, come on, we're going to go to Judy Garland's party.
And I was so thrilled because Judy, that's it.
I mean, that's it.
That was the most iconic person for me in the world to meet her.
And it was very difficult because it was just the 70s and she was very fragile.
I mean, she was kind of like, she wasn't really there.
I couldn't really communicate with her.
She was there but not there.
She was out of it.
And it just saddened me tremendously.
You didn't do the impression for her.
Was she aware that you did it for her?
She wouldn't have known.
Oh, interesting.
What's that?
Oh, it's nice.
I like that.
Okay.
I was born, oh, the stars have lost their glare.
The winds grow colder.
And suddenly, oh, God, I'm good.
And suddenly, oh God, I'm good.
All because of the man that got away.
Darren likes this.
It's great.
No more his eager call.
Love writings on the wall.
The dreams you dream.
You know, he gives good music.
The strange.
All right, that's enough.
Beautiful.
You like that, huh?
Thanks, Frankie. That was kind of brilliant.
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And now back to the show.
That was amazing.
We know how to set you up here.
Oh, baby.
Oh, dear.
So I got to tell you, I sent Gillick.
Do one of me ways.
Oh, why would I do it?
Oh.
Oh.
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh were sweethearts.
Oh, Lord, how they could love. Oh, that's what a bit true to each other.
You know, I did that with Debbie Reynolds on the Love Files.
I remember that.
We were going to ask her about it.
Yeah.
Hermé wasn't anywhere near as good as me.
Well.
I had to tolerate that shit because she wanted to do impressions too.
Can you do Debbie Reynolds?
No, I can't.
And she felt very upset.
She wanted me to be able to do her.
Because Julie Andrews said to me, I met Julie.
Oh, and with Blake Edwards.
Oh, oh charming man
and then julie came i was at westbury i went to see her and i went backstage
and she was lovely and she said oh i know that i arrived when you did me, which was such a nice comp.
Wow.
Ooh, no.
Ooh, no.
Ooh.
That's enough.
I was saying that I sent Gilbert a clip of you on the Hollywood Palace with Steve Lawrence.
Steve Lawrence.
Or Joan Collins, who said, and I quote,
she sounded just like Julie Andrews.
When are you going to do me?
You've got to get Joan Collins on this show.
Joan Collins.
That'd be a get.
But in this clip, this wonderful clip on Hollywood Palace,
Steve Lawrence brings you out as all these different singers.
Yes.
Actually, that was on the copycats.
Yeah, it was great.
Oh, was that the copycats?
Yes.
It was in black and white.
I thought it was a...
It was color.
That one was color.
Because I remember Steve Lawrence was a guest on the copycat.
Yes, he was.
I think he was doing a Humphrey Bogart.
Yes.
He did a few impressions.
But you came out as Teresa Brewer and Patty Page
and Rosemary Clooney
and Eartha Kitt and then
finally Edie Gourmet. And Diana
Ross. And Diana Ross. I urge
our listeners to check it out. It's on YouTube.
It's worth seeing. And Boris
Streisand. And Streisand.
And the thing that was the thing
I don't know that he was ready for
it. I'm gonna need a cookie soon, Dara.
Got a blood sugar issue.
I need sustenance for this.
Bring me a chocolate cookie.
No, wait a minute.
I have a cookie.
No, they have jars of stuff.
There's all kinds of stuff here. Oh, believe me, they have jars of stuff. There's all kinds of stuff here.
Oh, believe me, they have jars of cookies.
Look what I've got.
Marilyn is pulling an Oreo out of her snack bar.
He's bringing you one right now.
He's bringing you something.
It's too late.
I prepare my own.
Give this woman a Kit Kat.
Here, you can take one with you.
There you go.
Now, what was I saying?
Oh, yeah.
The thing is, at the end, I don't know that he knew that Steve knew.
I came out as Edie Gourmet.
It's great.
It's a great clip.
Yeah, he seems genuinely surprised.
There you go.
He freaked.
There's a snack for you.
What are you giving me?
Oh, wait a minute.
You're taking a picture?
Wait, wait.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
You got choices. Oh, good. Oh, thank you. Can I take these home? The show is? Wait, wait. Oh, my God. Hello. You got choices.
Oh, good.
Oh, thank you.
Can I take these home?
The show is taking a snack break.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, this is good.
Do you want to take a picture?
What are you doing?
Go away.
Well, do the sasta.
Oh, and before I forget, another great comedian who you do a great impersonation of was the late, great Joan Rivers.
Oh, she was so mean.
She was very mean to me.
Oh, please, oh, come on.
Oh, please, oh, come on. Oh,
please.
She didn't like
me. I mean, she was so, yeah.
I mean, I've had great relationships
with everybody, thank God, in the business
except two people. They say,
who are the two people?
Who are you to be a joke like that?
Come on.
It was Joan Rivers. She was very insecure.
And Woody Allen.
Wow.
Oh, you were cut from Zellig, too.
Right.
You were supposed to be Mae West.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I did Mae West.
Right.
He liked that.
He was, like, pasted up.
Oh.
He couldn't stop looking at it, you know.
But that's a whole story, which is in my book.
Oh, I've got to talk in my book oh I gotta talk
about my book yeah tell us about the book because I wrote a book and it's called how not to cook
for the rest of your life so it'll be out in a couple of months and and people will be able to
get it and it's all about my lifestyle which is you know ordering up mashed potatoes and jello
and like everything because I I don't like to do things
like that i'm not good but it's also a memoir it's also there's also some memories and stories
a lot of memoir aspects okay but just see joan yeah i admire her so much this is a woman who
what a passion to do it i mean she was like you know like in her 80s
and she's schlepping around the thing schlepping with the you know going and doing constant
constant you know yeah that kind of work ethic yeah i know the work ethic and it's sort of like
it's sort of like puts me off it's like i understand, I understand the need to do it, to perform, to need that
constant drip. And yet in a way, it's like, you know, on the on the eighth day, God, you know,
rested or something, you know, I mean, she just needed to do it. So she was, I did her show.
And then she interviewed me and everything was okay. And then I said another few words or
something later on. And she said, Oh, yeah, really? Sure. Like, shut up.
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Can't you see we're star perfection for the love of God?
Could you tell us, as we started to...
Aren't you going to do anything here?
He does a little.
We get to that.
Isn't this your show?
Yeah, the show The Copycats.
Yeah, let's talk about The Copycats.
Tell us the impressionist on The Copycats.
Oh, Fred Travolina, my dear friend.
I miss desperately.
Rich Little.
Rich Little.
And Gorshin.
The great Frank Gorshin.
Yeah, Frank Gorshin. Oh, and George Little. And Gorshin. The great Frank Gorshin. Yeah, Frank Gorshin.
Oh, and George Kirby.
Kirby, thank you.
Yeah, the late George Kirby.
What can you tell us about them, about George?
Yeah, George, I heard, had a strange, well, he had a drug problem.
What do you want to know, darling?
What?
What do you want to know?
Okay.
Do you want me to do Zsa Zsa or Ava or both of them?
Because there is absolutely, I can tell you everything you want to know.
But you have to ask me the generic questions I can do.
Okay.
I remember George Kirby, he was arrested at one point.
Yeah, selling heroin.
Yes, and then he came back, and when he started performing, he had a new character called Mr. Heroin.
That's right.
I'm Mr. Heroin.
No matter who you are, I take control of you because I'm Mr. Heroin.
A little Sidney Greenstreet in Mr. Heroin.
Yes, he did.
He did Sidney Greenstreet.
That's true. We used to do the copycat theater where we did all the movies, the one-minute theater, Betty Davis.
Oh, God, I remember that.
Casablanca.
And I did Ingrid Bergman.
And then Rich Little called me, and he said that the girl from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, the actress, what's her name?
Louise Fletcher.
Louise Fletcher wanted help, bitch.
She wanted help from me to do Ingrid Bergman?
I taught her how to do it.
I taught her how to do Ingrid Bergman. I taught her how to do it. I taught her how to do Ingrid Bergman.
I taught her.
She didn't give me any money, nothing.
Wow.
Interesting.
I'm going to ask for money.
Now, can we hear your Ingrid Bergman?
No.
Why should she work that hard for you?
All right, we're going to try something fun.
Well, see, the point of when actresses came over from Sweden or Germany,
yeah, they didn't know how to speak.
You know, they were going to be, you know, German or Swedish.
They were going to do, you know,
They came over, and they had to teach them to speak for MGM or Paramount or whatever.
Warner Brothers.
How are they going to do this?
I had to figure out how to do it so that she would get the part in The Sheep Detective.
So she was talking like that because she comes from the midwest
and how was i going to turn her into uh ingrid bergman so i said first of all they came over from
germany or sweden they had to speak very slowly so they taught them to speak slowly. The first thing you need to do is slow up every single sentence. You don't
never hear Ingrid Bergen saying, oh, I just can't wait to get out of here. You don't hear her talk
that way. Everything is very slow up because they learned to talk slowly. That was part.
The second, there were three things, only three things I told her.
I said the second thing was that they had to end the consonants.
Because when, you know, we have lazy tongues in this country,
and we talk like this, and, you know, we talk,
oh, yeah, well, I'm going here.
It's all consonants, like Patti LuPone, you know.
Everything is a vowel, rather.
They had to be the ends of P, E, T, all those ends.
It's constant, you know.
The last consonant so slowly, the consonants,
and the last thing was to roll your R's.
So no matter what country you came from, the tip of the tongue, you're bored with this?
No, it's interesting.
At the top of your palate had to be a ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra.
So it wasn't, oh, Rick, oh, Rick.
It was Rick, Rick.
And there was that little rrrr.
So I had to work with her, and she didn't give me any money for telling her all these things.
So you were an unpaid coach on the Chief Detective.
Yes, but it was nice.
So I said, oh, Rick, Rick, play it, Sam, play as time goes by.
And it was very, very slow with consonants.
That was the thing.
Now I have to rent a cheap detective and see how Louise Fletcher does.
So go rent it.
And you're going to see that she got it because she went in there.
Because she looked the part.
She was tall.
She had blue eyes.
She had the look.
But she can't go in there and talk like that.
And, you know, they expect to be.
Right.
So, oh, Rick, oh, Rick, play it, Sam.
Play as time goes by.
It's like they're reading, you know.
That's it.
I remember, like, with the copycats, it's like, well, Rich Little, anyone who does Johnny Carson is imitating Rich Little's Johnny Carson.
It's just like if you do Kirk Douglas or Burt Lancaster.
You're doing Frank Gorshin.
Frank Gorshin, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, they're brilliant.
They're just, just brilliant.
It was so great.
There's a great clip of you and Gorshin, too, on YouTube, and you're doing Judy, and he's doing Jolson.
Yes, isn't that something?
It's terrific.
I was grateful that I had the chance to do that.
But the thing is, I went into copycats when we first did it in Canada, and there was a blackboardboard and everybody had, I had only five or six,
you know, ladies. And I figured if I want to be in the show, I'm going to have to work on,
on characters. So I started to add, add characters as we went along. So I would get into the show,
you know. And sometimes you'd sing like a hit song that was on
the charts like there's one of you doing uh Rose Garden as Lynn Anderson yeah yeah I wonder what I
can I can't remember all the all the characters and their show didn't even last that long I mean
we Gilbert and I have such fond memories of it I remember they wanted me to do Edith Bunker okay
well this was like that you know and I was we were in london and uh your motor's going
darling we were in london and i really had no idea so everyone would come up to me and say oh
oh and with everybody telling me their rendition of uh of that wonderful lady. I finally kind of got it.
But it was years later that it got
better, that the impression would get better
or Rich would want me to do
Gracie Allen. I couldn't do
it and I had to kind of fake it.
And then all of a sudden, last night
I said, well, George, and it was
right. That's great.
I said, well, George, and it was right. That's great.
I said, oh, shit.
Last night, I got Gracie Allen.
No one cares.
Can we get you to do it?
I.G. Gracie Allen.
That's good.
Well, George, I really think I have to go shopping today, George. What are you buying?
Just anything I can put on my tits, George.
Anything.
But I couldn't do that at all
when we were doing the copycat.
Now you say you put in a small roast
and a big roast at the same time.
That's pretty good.
But it's not great.
You want to try something, Marilyn?
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to reach it?
Well, this is a little thing.
Gilbert's going to do it with you.
Really?
What's Dolly?
What's Dolly?
This is from Hello Dolly.
And this is, you would be reading,
you would be doing it as Streisand
and Gilbert, you would be playing
the Walter Matthau part.
Oh, okay.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Oh, I love things like this. Let's give it a shot. As Streisand, and Gilbert, you would be playing the Walter Matthau part. Oh, okay. Oh, really? Yeah.
Oh, I love things like this.
Let's give it a shot.
As Streisand, you sure?
Yeah.
You sure you don't want it as Bette Midler?
You know, she's going to be doing Dolly.
Well, it's for the purposes of the movie scene.
We're just trying to recreate that.
Okay.
Yeah, let's see what it sounds like.
Cold reading, everybody.
Go ahead, Gil.
My age.
My age.
You're always talking about my age.
Yeah, I don't even know your ages.
But I know with bad food and a bad temper, you double it in six months.
That's sit down, Horace.
We need to talk about something else.
However, Horace, before we change the subject, there's one more thing I am going to say.
I don't want to hear it.
You're wasting your time, Dolly Levy.
I have no intention of asking you to marry me.
Ah, I suppose that means you want me to ask you.
Well, I am sorry, Horace.
I am turning you down.
What is she doing here?
How can you turn me down when I haven't even asked you anything?
No use arguing.
No, I made up your mind here.
Let me cut your wings.
I don't want my wings cut.
No man does, Horace.
No man does.
I got a headache.
I'm leaving.
What else is no?
That's exactly the scene from the movie.
Oh, is it really?
Yep, for another short one?
It would have been nice if you'd shown this to me before.
I love how it's cold reading.
Oh, my God.
You guys are pros.
Oh, well, that'd be interesting.
It'll be interesting to see how Bette Midler does that.
Oh, my dear.
It's no use arguing, Horace.
I made up your mind.
Here, let me cut your wing.
That's good, too.
Here's another one.
Another one?
As who?
Well, I was thinking for this one that...
What did I write on the top of that one?
Peter Lorre.
Gilbert, you could do Peter Lorre.
Mary?
Who is Mary?
What's it say at the top?
How about...
Oh, Dr. Ruth.
And Dr. Ruth.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
This is a scene from It's a Wonderful Life.
Oh, okay.
We're bringing back the copycats.
All right.
Oh, okay.
We're bringing back the copycats.
All right.
Mary Hatch, round the world, did you ever marry a girl like me?
Yes, to keep from being an old maid.
You could have married Sam Wainwright or anybody else in this town. But I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
You didn't even have a honeymoon.
I promised you.
You what?
My baby.
My baby.
That's right.
You're, you're, you're me.
You're on the nest.
George Bailey, Lassos Stork, right?
That's right.
Very sexual.
Lassos Stork?
That's right.
What do you, you mean? What is it?
A boy or a girl?
Probably both
When you have two great mimics in the room together
You have to do something like that
You have to seize the moment
If that's what you want
That was wonderful
That was very annoying, actually.
Now, I remember on the copycat you had Ron Moody on.
Yes, he was on, wasn't he?
And I remember him doing a great Groucho Marx imitation.
Yeah, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
I'm reviewing the situation. Tell us the advice that... The situation.
Tell us the advice that Jack Benny gave you.
Because I've heard you say it was kind of a turning point.
It was quite a thrill.
And I had been called out.
This is at the very beginning of my career.
And I was called out to fill in for someone on the Ed Sullivan show out in Reno, Nevada at Harrah's.
And, well, everybody would come in to see that show.
I mean, I was a hit, and then all these people would come in.
And then one night, and they said, oh, this man is standing outside.
He wants to know if he can come in and see you.
I said, who is it?
And they said, Jack Benny. So of course I, absolutely. You know, how more iconic can you get than
Jack Benny? So he came into the room and he was very flattering, but he said, you know,
and I don't do a Jack Benny the way, like, you know, Woody Allen maybe just didn't touch, you know.
But, you know, he told me that I should always say who I'm doing.
Never leave it to the audience to guess who it is.
Because I would do Barbra Streisand and then after that someone would say, do Barbra Streisand, and then after that, someone would say,
Do Barbra Streisand!
I like that.
What did Streisand think of your impression?
Oh, she wasn't thrilled about it, because I was, you know, George Slaughter.
He did the show.
Yeah, George Slaughter was the producer of Laugh It.
We had him here.
Oh, you did? Yeah did we did he was the one who took we took i was auditioning for him about something and he took me into the back room
and i thought i'm gonna get lucky
it's gonna happen for me My virgin days are over.
This was at the beginning.
But that wasn't it at all.
What he did was, I remember,
I was sitting down, he was sitting at the desk,
and he said, you're going to do the Barbra Streisand thing.
I said, yeah.
And he said, I want you to follow my finger
with your left eye.
And he started, I followed my, but only with your left eye.
So I followed his finger with my left eye until it came, it looked like Barbara Streisand had a lazy eye.
Barbara Streisand had a lazy eye, which she doesn't, but at some point it looked a little bit on camera like she, you know, that was cross-eyed.
But I don't know why people laugh.
Sometimes, you know, now that she controls every aspect of what is shown and, you know, everything, she's always photographed perfect. My wife and I were watching the clips and one of the things that's impressive
about it is that you sing.
Yeah, we have an exciting
life. He's fascinated
with me. Look
at his face.
But you have
to sing like Streisand to pull off
the impression. You have to do a representative
version. I saw it too. It's impressive to pull off the impression. You have to do a representative version. Well, that's Russell, and I'm sure, too.
It's impressive that you had the pipes.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Now, can we name just names? Show his name.
Oh, yes. Can I have some water before we get into all this?
Did you ever meet Groucho?
No. Never worked with him. Never met him.
Okay. Jackie Gleason.
with him never met never met him okay jackie gleason oh yes oh god i did the jackie gleason show uh i'd want to say with it was in uh florida i met him just as just he was about to go on stage
doing a honeymooners i had just done this big number and he looked at me and he said
our numbers just went up.
I'm very
for Clint.
This is destroying
me.
Going back and thinking about all these people.
Oh, God. Jerry Lewis.
Oh, Jerry Lewis. I'm still in love
with Jerry Lewis. And I just did
that wonderful
90th birthday party for him
at the Friars with everybody
and actually I did it with my son
Mark who was also an
impressionist and a pianist and a comedy
writer. How did this happen?
It's in the DNA.
Yeah and we did this thing
So Jerry Lewis was nice to you?
Jerry Lewis was more
than nice to me. Jerry Lewis was more than nice to me.
Do you want to come up to my room?
And I never did that.
I never did that when I worked because it was not a smart thing to do.
And he's such an – people don't realize what an incredibly attractive, sexy man Jerry was.
The old lady, old lady.
Yeah.
But he was so flattering because I was all done up.
I was glamorous and I was wearing bunny slippers.
And he looked at me and said, what is it with you?
You can be this.
You can be that.
You can be a princess.
You can be a cripple.
You can be anything you want to be.
He really got it.
What a line.
And his ex-partner, Dean Martin?
Dean Martin.
Oh, wow.
So I did the Dean Martin show.
And there's just nothing like that level of excitement.
And there's just nothing like that level of excitement.
I know it sounds so corny, but the thrill of working with Alansma, somebody who is – You must have been a kid.
I mean, it's like one of the first things on your resume.
Well, yeah, I guess it was when I did Funny Girl.
And so I guess I was – I was, you know, 23, and I did the Jonathan Winters show,
and a few years later, after a genius, the greatest genius,
and I did Red Skelton and I did Dean.
And that was quite a moment.
And Dean never rehearsed?
No.
He just, so when you saw him up there messing up the lines and looking confused, that was actually real.
Yeah, you know, he was so hot.
He was so worshipped and he was so good.
And he knew that the best things happen impromptu.
And everybody had to know that you had to know the stuff really well so you could carry it if you had to.
But he knew what was going on.
He knew.
And Orson Welles.
Oh.
Oh, God.
So I was standing there and Orson was on the set of the copycats.
I was dressed as Mae West.
I love this story already.
Mae West.
How could it be bad?
It was a tribute to Anthony Newley.
Who can I turn to when nobody needs me?
And he's sitting there, and Gary Smith,
the great Gary Smith and Dwight Hamian,
who did all Barbra Streisand's specials.
Sure, they're legends.
And Gary went over to Orson, and he said, Orson, he said, you got to, he was
like saying complimentary things about me, hello.
And so then he came, Gary came over to me, and he said, and I was in the makeup, in the
whole getup of the Mae West thing, which I did all these makeups myself.
And he said, I want you to – and the music was piped in the way Frank just did the Garland thing.
And he said, I want you to do Judy Garland right now for Orson Welles.
I said, right in the makeup of it?
So I just did it. You know, the way I'm doing this stuff for you now. And Orson, you know, he, I don't know, maybe he weighed, you know, 500 pounds or something. He jumped out of the seat.
I was just, you know, just doing the Judy thing.
With you I could turn to, with you on a new day.
He didn't expect it.
And he was just, didn't know what hit him.
It was a great thrill of my life that moment.
I would imagine. Because I knew that he loved and revered Judy Garland.
I'm going to get emotional again.
And Joan Crawford.
Oh, dear.
So I was doing a thing for Pepsi-Cola in the Shoreham in Washington.
And with my then-husband, husband number one.
Husband number one, will you stand up and take a bow husband number one so joan was we were at the cocktail party and she was so oh she was very charming
and then I did the show
I did the show
and I was a hit
and Joan was
sitting on the dais and they were going to
announce all her credits
said one of the corporate
guys and I looked at her
it meant so much
to her Gilbert it meant everything to her. She was
so nervous that they'd get it right, and I watched that in action, how important it was to her,
and then they said, the great Joan Crawford, she's done this, you've got to ask her, but
I performed, and on my applause, she completely lost it.
She ran up on the stage on my last note.
She grabbed me by the hand and ran me around the ballroom.
She got into the act, sort of, you know.
She got herself into the act.
And it was very heady for me.
But I understood her need to be a part of it.
That's great.
And Don Rickles.
Well, I spent many years opening a show for Don.
In Vegas?
In Las Vegas yeah
and
he's a great master
I think that
you know
working with Don
and working with
Alan King
and
it
it was my
training ground
to do whatever
it is
I do
because
oh
they were just
so brilliant at it so So loose. It's the looseness. It's the courage of being loose that makes it happen.
Did you work with Phil Silvers in Vegas too?
Yeah.
Early on?
That was the very first time.
What was Phil Silvers like to work with?
He lost his contact lenses.
He lost his contact lenses.
He's very horny.
Phil Silvers.
The comedians are highly sexed.
They are highly sexed, right?
He lost his contact lenses.
And I went into his dressing room.
At one time, we had dressing rooms on opposite sides of the stage.
And I went in there, and he was on his knees.
I said, what happened?
I lost my contact lenses.
So I'll never forget that. I found it very funny.
He didn't find it funny, but I did.
And then I was doing two shows a night in Las Vegas.
No days off.
Do not relax.
Do not collect $200.
It was a very tough time.
And he was what a great pro to work with.
And then he came into my dressing room one time,
and he decided he was going to make his move,
and he sent me flowers.
Wow.
I came in, and he just took me around
and kissed me on the lips.
And then he left the room, and that was it.
Whoa.
I wasn't ready for that one at all.
Well, you wanted me to be forthcoming.
So what eventually, did you say anything to him afterwards?
No.
Words weren't necessary.
Marilyn is on the floor of the studio.
She's lying down on the floor.
We never had a guest that made out with Phil Silvers.
Gil, this is a first.
Is this almost over?
Yeah, a couple of minutes. A few minutes.
Is this almost over?
Yeah, a couple of minutes.
Yeah, it's gone.
A few minutes and we'll let it go. It's like a Chinese water torch.
What other famous people have kissed you or gone further?
This is a whole other episode.
This is the most exciting thing that's happened to me in years.
I was working. Hi, Daryl.
I was working.
Oh, no, I was doing Funny Girl.
Okay.
I was going to follow Danny Kaye.
He was going to follow me into the theater in the round in in where was
it where they sell the Spanish food
Arizona yes okay Arizona I'm getting tired do you know where the lens is, Trina?
So they said, Danny Kaye was in the audience, and I, oh, God.
Can he come back?
Can he come in?
So Danny Kaye came into the dressing room, and he took me in his arms.
Wow.
And he kissed me on the lips.
And then he left.
Well, there's a lot of that going on.
I heard Danny Kaye was a big botany expression.
Fake a lot.
All I know is he came into the dressing room. Of course, here's what I heard.
He took me in his arms and he kissed me passionately on the lips.
I heard Orson Welles was coming, flying in.
Laurence Olivier.
Not Laurence Olivier.
You've told the story so many times.
I've told it so many times.
Unfortunately, Laurence Olivier did not kiss me on the lips.
Yeah, this is like the beginning.
This is like Rita Hayworth.
Don't take pictures.
Make her leave.
I'm Ava Gardner.
I heard.
What?
Laurence Olivier was flying in somewhere.
And Danny Kaye dressed up as a security guard at the airport, and he spoke in a French accent with a mustache and everything and made Lawrence Olivier undress.
And Danny Kaye was sticking his fingers into Lawrence Olivier's asshole.
And that the two of them were quite fond of each other that way.
I knew that eventually you would become part of the show today.
Now, I found out recently that much like Danny Thomas.
It's not a long enough show.
That I heard someone told me
it was also believed that Lawrence Olivier and Danny Kaye
used to shit on each other.
How lovely.
Just say really.
How nice for them.
I was waiting for this moment.
Really.
Do you have a cigarette?
I always need to smoke when I hear this story.
Oh, I need to hear you say this line.
In reference to I can't do Joan Crawford, but
you couldn't do this if I wasn't
in this chair.
Now do the Betty Davis.
What? Okay.
Oh, he's doing whatever happened
to Baby Jane. Yeah.
You're blanching!
Yes, you are
in the chair, Blanche!
You're in the chair, Blanche. You're in the chat.
You're in the chat.
Did you hear of any weird sex things that other famous celebrities...
Is that what you wanted me to do all along?
For an hour and I don't have any weird sex stories?
I try not to do that sort of thing.
Because I know that when I leave this room, darling,
then you're going to want somebody to tell you
their sex stories about me.
Well.
Now, did Ed Sullivan ever shit on you?
Or piss?
Did you like Sullivan?
Did you like him personally?
Yes, I loved him.
You did a lot of Ed Sullivan shows.
I loved him.
I loved him.
He was good to me.
He was good to my family.
He's a nice guy.
Except that he did.
Did you do the Sullivan Show, baby?
No, no.
You came later.
You're too young.
He would stand on stage while you were performing.
He would stand there.
You know, like he needed to be a part of it.
It was so distracting.
Like he was breathing down your neck.
He was just closer to me than you you are right now gil but other than
that you liked him yeah john beiner said he liked him i did the last sullivan on broadway with ethel
merman who when we had the camera blocking run through spoke to the and who said what gwen
ferdin and julie har Harrison were all standing there.
And they're going to block her.
And, you know, they make you do it again and again for whatever reason, for no reason at all.
And she looked at them up in the booth and she said, okay, you get one shot at it, that's it.
Get it when you can.
What?
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Wow.
She had balls.
Poor Ernest Borgnine.
They weren't married that long.
That lasted about a day.
Yeah.
A little longer than that, but not much.
But she had great power.
Didn't he get really sick at one point and then she just walked out on him. I don't know.
I don't think they stayed together long enough for him to get sick.
Can you do a Gilbert Gottfried imitation?
I've been doing it for an
hour. What the hell do you
want?
I do it in my
sleep. Let's
get this lady.
Let her get on with her life.
I know that next time I come here, I'm going
to have to come with sex stories.
Oh, please. That's alright.
It's disgusting. It's okay.
You asked him
to participate in the show
at your own risk. Well, now I see.
Tell us about the book again.
Yes. The book is called
How Not to Cook for the Rest of Your Life.
Are you doing it with your son?
Yeah, my son wrote.
I say he wrote all the funny lines.
Mark Wilk.
Mark Wilk.
And he's also a terrific impressionist.
When he's on YouTube, you can see some of his impressions on YouTube.
Mark Wilk, W-I-L-K.
Oh, the brilliant Woody Allen and De Niro and Dustin Hoffman.
Oh, unbelievable.
And I just, he's someone to have on the show because he does these great impressions.
Just incredible.
I still don't know how it happened, but he does incredible.
And where can people find your paintings?
And my paintings?
Well, they can look at MarilynMichaelscom, and they'll see stuff on there.
Or just put my name in, and all this stuff comes up, including this show here, this podcast,
where I'm still trying to figure out something sexual for you.
Okay.
What?
Something.
What?
No, I was asking.
Do we have a, is there a request or something?
No, I was asking Frankie if he wanted to put another piece of music in your ears.
I would be curious to see how you responded.
Oh, it depends upon what kind of music he's putting in my ear.
Let's see what he's got.
Oh.
C'est si bon. C'est si bon.
So they say it in French.
Like the French people do.
Because it's oh so good.
I don't think anybody recognizes her.
C'est si bon.
Earth a kid, of course.
God, that was good.
Yeah, it was damn good. That's just amazing. Damn, the kid, of course. God, that was good. Yeah, it was damn good.
That's just amazing.
Damn good.
Wow, he knows.
This is like he knows my stuff.
Oh, fabulous.
Wow.
Next time we'll have to plan more of this.
We will.
You've worked hard and we appreciate it.
I did.
Are you going to send me any money at all? Yes.
Yeah.
Anyway, to wrap up, I'm Gilbert Gottfried.
Some snacks.
This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre,
and our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa.
Thank you, Frank.
And Nutmeg.
And we've been talking to the niece of Moishe Oyshe.
That is true, baby.
And the very talented and very versatile.
Marilyn Michaels.
And very game for anything.
Yeah.
Marilyn Michaels.
Yeah.
You're a trooper.
Oh, thank you, darling.
Well, this was, you know, so much fun.
My God.
We never asked you about Sammy.
Sammy, oh. Who was also a champion of yours early God. We never asked you about Sammy. Sammy, oh.
Who was also a champion of yours early on.
We'll leave this for the next time.
Okay.
He was really my mentor, Sammy Davis Jr.
Now you tell us.
Now I do tell you.
What the fuck?
I told you you would have to.
You wasted the whole interview.
The whole thing went down the tubes.
And now as you're walking out.
It was useless the whole hour.
It's like saying, oh, by the way, I shot Kennedy.
Marilyn, thank you.
Yes, darling.
We love you.