Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 122. Charlotte Rae

Episode Date: September 26, 2016

Edna Garrett (and Sylvia Schnauser!) herself, actress Charlotte Rae joins Gilbert and Frank to talk about some of the highs (and lows) of her life and career, and to share her memories of working on the 1950s nightclub circuit as well as on the much-loved sitcoms "Car 54, Where Are You?", "Diff'rent Strokes" and "The Facts of Life." Also, Charlotte lauds Nat Hiken, rooms with Cloris Leachman, partners with Paul Lynde and impersonates Zsa Zsa Gabor. PLUS: Wally Cox! "Hot L Baltimore"! The many talents of Fred Gwynne! Charlotte disses Joan Collins! And "New Faces of 1952"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe on iTunes so you don't miss a single episode. And if you like the show and think we deserve a five-star rating, and obviously we do, rate us and post a review. we do, rate us and post a review. Also, although our main purpose in life is to entertain you, producing this show costs actual money, so please help out by going to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried and pledging your support to receive old sorts of goodies, merchandise, personalized roasts, and shoutouts, advanced access to episodes or personal messages from me, Gilbert Gottfried. And if we raise enough, maybe I can finally get a new co-host. I'm thinking of the Scarlett Johansson robot. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is a popular and much admired

actress whose career spans an impressive seven decades. She's been nominated for Tony's for her work on the Broadway stage, appeared in feature films like The Hot Rock, Bananas, Rabbit Test, and Hair, and received an Emmy nomination for her role in the TV movie Queen of the Stardust Ballroom. Notable TV roles include Bilko, Love American Style, The Paul Lynch Show, All in the Family, Barney Miller, ER, and The King of Queens, and of course, as the wise and supportive Edna Garrett on the hit situation comedies, Different Strokes and Facts of Life. In her illustrious career, she's worked with everyone from Burt Lahr to Jack Klugman to Stiller and Mira to Lottie Lenya to our former podcast guest, Julie Newmar, Dick Van Dyke and Paul Dooley.

And she's still working. Paul Dooley, and she's still working. Recently appearing in the 2015 film, Ricky and the Flash, alongside Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline. But with all that she's accomplished, she'll always be known to yours truly as Sylvia Schnauzer on the iconic series Car 54, Where Are You? Please welcome the pride of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the funny, versatile, and unstoppable Caroline Ray. You just called her Caroline Ray. Oh, cow!

Boy, are you full of it. The unstoppable Charlotte Ray. That's better. Yeah! Unstoppable is Charlotte Bray. That's better. Yeah. It was a wonderful tribute to Caroline Bray. Yes. I had no idea she appeared in all the same things you did. Yeah.

Okay, now, before any... How old are you, Charlotte, if I may? Well, I'll tell you, I'm very grateful. Because do you realize that I am almost 90? Wow. I don't believe it, you know? Yeah, if it's meant to be April 22nd, I'll be 90 years old. Yeah. Oh, wonderful.

And that's Earth Day, too. And I got to tell you, a couple of weeks ago we had you booked, and then your agent or manager called and said that you weren't feeling well that day and you had to go to the doctor and I was convinced oh she's just gonna say she's too tired now because like nowadays actresses and actors who are 15 complain of exhaustion, and they take time off. And someone of your old group, the old professional actors, they can get hit by a train and they go back to work. That's true, yeah.

Even on Broadway, they have very limited engagements, television stars and film stars. They have very limited engagements, television stars and film stars. They don't stay with a show like a real trooper and keep it going from year after year, you know? Yeah, that's what I admire. They're lightweight, Charlotte. Let's face it. Now, we got to get into your career.

It's insane. One of the earliest things you did was Sergeant Bilko. I mean, as far as TV. Yeah, that was early on. Yeah. And what was it like working with Phil Silvers? Well, he was brilliant. He was absolutely fast-talking. I'll tell you, Nat Hyken was a wonderful—you know, I'm still upset because he should be in the Television Hall of Fame. What can we do to get him there?

We've got to work on that. He was a genius. Let's do it before we kick off let's oh absolutely it's shocking that i that he's not actually and he i know gilbert was surprised and i found this in your book charlotte that he was your cousin nat hyken well he he's the one who came to me when i was playing the bonsoir that was a little supper club in New York when I was, you know, a newcomer there. And he came with Nick Condos. God bless you. Thank you. Nick Condos.

Our engineer just sneezed. Yeah. Who was Martha Ray's husband. They came to see me at the Bonsoir. He said to me, I believe we're cousins. And I said, well, I don't think so. I know the Hikens, but I don't. He said, well, I think one of my cousins married one of your cousins. So by marriage, we became became he was very family conscious he was a lovely oh what a wonderful guy and he died so young how old is he 54 years old wow yeah and he also created a show

that makes me laugh to this day car 54 where are you are you? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. And, you know, he introduced, I mean, we became friends, he and his wife, Amber, and his kids. And my husband, John, and I became very close. And then John became, he was, he studied with Hindemith after the war on the GI Bill at Yale. And when he graduated, Nat Hyken hired him to do the music for the Phil Silver Show and for Car 54. Okay. Car 54, where are you? There's a holdup in the Bronx. Brooklyn's broken out in fights.

There's a traffic jam in Harlem. That's backed up to Jackson Heights. There's a scout troop shot a child. Cruise ships doing I know wild. Car 54, where are you? Very good. Very good. Very good. Written by John Strauss.

And I remember hearing like Nat Hyken liked funny looking people. And you could see that with Car 54 with, you know, Fred Gwynn, tall and skinny, and Joey Ross, really short and stout, and Al Lewis. It's like Nat Hyken couldn't produce a show like Friends. He couldn't what? He could not produce a show like Friends where everyone looks like a model. Well, he found Joey Ross in his sewer, some sewer in Florida. Yeah, you were no big fan of Joey Ross, I gather, Charlotte. No, no, he was very fun for the movie, I mean for the series, but he, no, he, how can I,

oh, he didn't realize what a wonderful opportunity. Let me finish. Oh, sorry, Charlotte. Because he didn't realize what a wonderful golden opportunity Nat Hyken gave him. Nat Hyken gave him, I mean, he was working in a sewer I mean a place where it's only told dirty jokes and it was

a third rate place in Florida but he was a character and he thought he was great character just as he was and he just kind of lived it up too much he'd come to rehearsal he'd be resting you know i shouldn't be talking like this anyway god bless him god rest him in peace and let's talk about my

book yeah okay but but i mean joe joey r Ross was basically working in strip clubs. I guess. And it's so funny that the way Nat Hyken used him, he just comes across as this lovable teddy bear on TV. Right. And that's the genius of Nat Hyken. Yeah, and he did that with Phil Silvers, who was a very swift,

terrific, brilliant actor, comic, but he was not very endearing. So he made him a lowly sergeant who was wheeling and dealing and always lost out in the end.

He made him lovable, even though he really wasn't lovable. OK? Yes. Now, yeah, tell us the title of your book. It's called The Facts of My Life. It's a fascinating read, Charlotte. I mean, there's so many things I didn't know. I didn't know that you'd gone to school with Paul Lynde and Patricia Neal and Sheldon Harnick and all of these people.

And until Gilbert and I sat down and started doing the research, well, speaking for myself anyway, I found clips of you doing stand-up comedy. Yeah. I didn't know that you put out this very funny album in the 50s songs i taught my mother yep oh yes you can get it on amazon i know i tell you it it holds up very well it's very funny and and your book what's so good about it is uh there's there's loads of information about show business and parts where you're very open about your personal life, both good and bad. And it's a very revealing book.

Yes, I let it all hang out. I do. I decided, well, my son, I had no intentions of writing a memoir. I'm not a writer. My son is a writer. And he said to me, Ma, this was a long time ago. He said, you're 87. I think it's time that we write your memoir. And otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I said, oh, all right, if you'll write it, I'll tell you my life. And mention your son's name, your co-writer, Larry Strauss. Larry Strauss, S-T-R-A-U-S-S.

And he's written some wonderful books. Some of them have been optioned for film. And then, you know, you know what happens when the head honcho at the film company is removed and someone else comes in they bring in their own uh development stuff and they throw out the other person's stuff and that's being optioned you know that's the way that's oh yeah it's a rough business and go ahead oh no i'm just saying it's a good book because i remember you said in an interview that these sad things that you reveal is you want to show people that sad things happen to everybody and they could move on

could move on. Yes, exactly. I felt it was so important that somehow or other, through the grace of God, I've been able to move on from some heavy-duty stuff. And I wanted them to know, just because I'm on television, don't think that everything is ginger peachy and everything is lovely and that everything is easy. I want them to know that it's just like everybody else. A life is a life. And none of us get out without some pain and so on. And we move on, and we try to really love ourselves and learn to love each day. Sometimes you think to yourself,

all we have is today. Today, every day is a birthday, right? Yeah. Do you know that what struck me about that is when I was first getting interested in going in showbiz, I had a thought that if you were in show business, you were immune from all the bad things that happen to regular people. And then you find that out yeah you do no one gets away from that you know one of the great things about the book uh charlotte is your enduring friendships

you know that you've been friends with chloris leachman forever your friendship with larry hagman is is very touch it's a very touching story i mean that's one of the things that comes across is how many and sh Sheldon Harnick. And Sheldon Harnick. Oh, my God. And Fred Gwynn you stayed friends with. Absolutely. Oh, yes.

Tell us about Fred Gwynn. He was a very, very, very lovely, dear man, very talented actor. My God, I saw him do that wonderful play. Oh, Cat on a Hutton Roof. Yeah, Big Daddy. He was brilliant. And I've seen him do, and he was a wonderful artist, too. Yeah, he was a cartoonist.

Yes, yes. And we remained friends. And Sheldon, it's in the book. Yeah. He said he always talks about it, and it makes me very, very happy that I changed his life. I changed. He was in Chicago, and he was just playing his fiddle,

and after we graduated from Northwestern, and I came to New York, and I looked around, and I, oh, you know, I was looking for special material. And I kept saying, you need to come here. You're so much more talented than most of the people. And I see Broadway, and you're up to that and more. And then when I found the album Finian's Rainbow by, what's his name? Oh, God. Yip Harburg. Yip Harburg and Burton Lane. I sent it to him in Chicago, and he said, oh, my God, that's what I want to do with my life.

So he came to New York, and we've been friends ever since. And now Fiddler is opened again, and now She Loves Me just got rave reviews from all the critics, the New York Times, all of them, all of them. And I'm so proud of our friend. And he's celebrating. Listen, he's celebrating. He's going to be 92 April 30th. A great artist. He's going to be 90 April 22nd.

He's going to be 92. When you hear, if I were a rich man, Charlotte, does a part of you say, well, if it wasn't for me, that would never have happened? Well, I don't want to get ego. But I'm just very honored that I was his channel. Yeah. Yeah. And I got to get back to Car 54 for another second.

Yeah, but you better tell people they can buy my book on Amazon. Absolutely. Absolutely. Keep talking about Amazon. Buy Charlotte Ray's new book, The Facts of My Life on Amazon. On Larry Strauss. It's a fun read. While we wait for Gilbert to find the men's room,

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When I talk about my alcoholism. Go right ahead. I talk about my, I've been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous for 42 and almost 43 years now. Bless you. Good for you. I mean, when I was going through that tough time with my son Andy, with his autism and his schizophrenia, that was my drug of choice. That was your first son that he had. And at first, you didn't know what was the matter with him.

That's right. Nobody knew. I finally found a doctor who diagnosed him. And when he told me, nobody knew about autism at that time. He said, he's autistic. And I thought, oh, thank God, he's artistic. I thought he said artistic. And I almost got down on my knees, thank God he's artistic. I thought he said artistic. And I almost got down on my knees to thank God. Who knew?

Yeah. I mean, right now, people know very little about. They still have to learn more. All these years later. But boy, back then. There was no support system at all in those days. It was, nobody hardly knew about autism. My pediatrician didn't know about it when I mentioned it to him.

No. Yeah, I mean, back then, being autistic or dyslexic, people like that were considered stupid or crazy. People like that were considered stupid or crazy. And yeah, it finally got a name to it. It's still a challenge, but at least there's a lot of support and a lot of achievement. But they haven't found out why it's been happening more and more and more. Yeah, it's a mystery.

And one other thing that happened in your life, your husband revealed something. So I got into Alcoholics Anonymous before John, and eventually he joined me. And through Alcoholics Anonymous and his sponsor, he had a sponsor that he had to check in with. The sponsor told him he had to tell me that he was bisexual. the sponsor told him he had to tell me that he was bisexual. And after 25 years of marriage, he finally told me. And that really was another shock. I didn't think anything would be as much of a shock as my son's challenge of autism and schizophrenia, childhood schizophrenia. But this was another severe shock. And it took me a long time to accept that it is what it is.

And then after that, I had great empathy for him. I really did. Because in those days, it was considered hush-hush, and you don't talk about it. And I had not a clue. He was very creative, talented, and we had an interesting life, creative life. But, you know, when I went to the judge for the divorce,

it was so funny because the judge said to me, you haven't asked for any alimony. The judge said to me, you haven't asked for any alimony. How are you going to get along? And I said, looking upwards, God knows. God knows. And the judge said, well, I know. You're Charlotte Rae.

In the courtroom, it was Charlotte Rae Strauss. He said, you're Charlotte Rae, and you've got enormous talent, and you're going to be okay. And then I burst into tears and I had to go with my girlfriend to get some matzo ball soup. And, and all of this, both the sad moments and, and great Hollywood stories are in your book. The facts of my life that you can get on Amazon.

Where can they get it? On Amazon! And I got to get back to on Car 54, you and Al Lewis were the Schnauzers, Leo and Sylvia Schnauzer, and you were like constantly arguing like this bickering couple right and i and i i remember there was one where you had just seen a movie with um ingrid bergman and you were saying she's the best actress in the world and that started an argument

and Al Lewis starts going, Ingrid Bergman, she's terrible. Doris Day is the greatest actress. And you both started screaming at each other about this, and it was hysterical. Well, you know the story about that. That's the one where the police all gathered together and said, every Thursday night they argue, every Thursday night, let's tell him that there's no Thursday this week. Well, that was my first episode. And I had barely met him.

I'm forgetting his name. Al Lewis. Al. And so I said, Al, would you mind my... I think I can rent a studio where we can improvise. I'll rent it for an hour and a half,

and then maybe we'll feel like we're a regular couple arguing. And so I rented a studio, and we paced around in that studio, and he started to insult me, and he started to call me a retard. And, of course, because of my son and everything, then I really lit into him. That's good.

And we both belted out at each other and at the end of that hour and a half, boy, we were ready for the show. Yeah.

Oh, that's great, Tim. I love working with him. He was wonderful. Oh, he was. He was wonderful. He was, I met him a few times. A total character. Yeah, I met him too. He was larger. Oh, he was wonderful. I met him a few times.

A total character. I met him, too. He was larger than life. Oh, yeah. I met him through brunches with Al Goldstein, the porno guy, who Al Lewis was friends with, of course. But Al was a character, and that show kills me. Yeah. We have to ask you about somebody who plays a prominent role in the book,

Charlotte, and that's your old friend Paul Lynn, and he's also somebody who comes up on this show a lot, somebody that Gilbert and I love. He's a complicated man. Oh, Paul, he was so talented. We were in college together. We wrote funny sketches, and we

did them together. You guys were Lubotsky and Lind, right? Yeah, we sat next to each other in acting class. Yeah. Oh, my God. We played opposite each other in the musicals. Every year there was a musical called The Wah Mew Show, and we played opposite each other.

He was very tall and portly, and I was very short and chubby. And, oh, we were called, we were big men on campus. We were Labatsky and Lind. Yeah. There's a sketch. He came from a small town in southern Ohio. And I heard your mother was friends with the prime minister of Israel. Oh, that's a good one.

Golda Meir? Well, they went to school together in Milwaukee when they were growing up. So your mother knew the Prime Minister of Israel? Not when she was Prime Minister. No, but before.

Even better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Tell the story, Charlotte, one of the amusing stories in the book is when you told your dad that you were going to change your name. Oh. While I was going to Northwestern, I kept running down to Chicago. I wanted to get on radio.

It was just the beginnings of television. I just wanted so much to be a professional. I finally got on, what's the name of it? Oh, I can't believe it. I'll think of it. But it was a 15-minute radio show, which was very popular at that time. It was very popular at that time. And I got my after card and everything. I was so excited. And they said, well, what's your name?

I said, Charlotte Lebotsky. Oh, no, we can't use that. Why not? Well, no, no, it has to be Americanized. What's your middle name? I said Ray, R-A-E. That's it, Charlotte Ray. And I told my dad.

He was so hurt. He said, Lebotsky is a fine name. We are honorable people. We have a good name in Milwaukee. It is a name to be proud of. We are good citizens. I'm a veteran from World War I. He was, you know, emigrated from Russia. And he was very hurt. And years later, while I was in New York doing supper clubs, I bumped into Shelly, what's his name? Shelly Berman. Shelly Berman, and he was so,

he was becoming a sensation at some of these supper clubs, and he wrote his own material. And I said, would you write some material for me? So, well, tell me something about your life. I told her about my father and what happened. And you know what? He took it for himself. He wrote it about his father. he wrote it about his father. And his father, well, anyway, he used it for himself. He took your life story and put it in his act.

Yeah, yeah. When you were playing those clubs, Charlotte, the Blue Angel and the Bon Soir and the Village Vanguard, who else was around? Who was hanging around in those days? Nichols and May or Wally Cox? Wally Cox was my inspiration because I went down to the Village Vanguard with a friend and saw him doing his little monologues. And that made me realize I could do little monologues and all sorts of little interesting character things, as well as sing. I loved his work, yeah.

And then I worked, I'll tell you, at the Blue Angel, I first started out with, what's her name? Pearl Bailey. Oh, wow. Yeah, and what's her name came to visit her? Give us a hint. Lena Horne. Lena Horne.

Opening night. And that was thrilling. And then Eartha Kitt was headlining when I came back. And we became friends. And she was a wonderful woman, very, very, very intelligent and tasteful and talented. And what was I going to say? Oh, I was supposed to be in New Faces. Did you know that? Was it New Faces of 1952? I was originally supposed to be in new faces did you know that was it new faces of 1952

i was originally supposed to do it and what happened was jack rollins was my manager oh yeah just lost him he died at a hundred years yes indeed yeah from Rollins and Jaffe. Rollins and Jaffe. Who handled Woody Allen and Among Others. And all of them. Robert Williams. Everybody. David Letterman. Yeah. But, I mean, he and I, we were, Jack Rollins and his wife Jane and I were friends all through the years.

All through the years. But I left them. I didn't have him manage me after a couple of years. All through the years. But I left them. I didn't have him manage me after a couple of years. He seemed to be doing better with men than women. But we became friends all through the years. All.

Wait, I was going to tell you a story. What the hell was it? It was something to do with, what was it? New Faces? New Faces, thank you very much. Yes, Jack got me to meet Leonard Sillman, and he wanted me for New Faces along with Ronnie Graham.

Oh, Ronnie Graham. And his sister. Mr. Dirt. Graham. And his sister. Mr. Dirt. Yep. He was wonderful. Oh, Ronnie. Oh, he was wonderful.

Now, did you... Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, did your father get to see some of your success? No, I think he only saw me in a Broadwayway show called three wishes for jamie that was it my dad passed when he was 58 yeah but he did get to see you on broadway i mean that's that's uh that's not a small thing and back then it just seemed common. Everybody changed their names when they went into showbiz. Even people with perfectly showbiz-sounding names would change their names. I know.

Actually, Lebatsky isn't a great name. I mean, if it had been Kolachensky, it goes better. It would have been hard to spell and hard to remember. I don't know. What kind of act did you intend to put together, Charlotte? Did you set your sights on a musical act? Were you going to do comedy? Did you always want to mix the two?

And I understand Henny Youngbin helped you out at the beginning. Well, Henny was very good to all of us. He always came to see all of us, Kay Ballard, and everybody came to see us perform and give us a nice pat on the back. Lovely man. But what else were we talking about? Did you gravitate to comedy right away? Or did you want to be a sister?

No, I wanted to be a serious actress. It was only that Paul and everybody told me at Northwestern to try out for the musical comedy thing. And I didn't really want to. I was only interested in serious stuff. But I went in, and I read the sketches, and I read them for real, and the writing was good, so it was funny. You know, it was funny sketches.

But I played them for real. When you play them for real, they're funny. If you play them to be funny, they're not funny. You know what I'm saying. Sure. Oh, yeah. But you had a knack for funny. I guess I did.

I remember I met Henny Youngman a few times and he was on stage and off the king of one-liners. Oh, he was, on stage and off, the king of one-liners. Oh, he was hilarious. Yeah, he was great. And now let's get to different strokes. Where it's like, it seemed like that was another one of those weird cases where all of the children's lives fell apart after that. Well, you know, I was with it the first year.

Yeah. And the first year was absolutely exquisite. We were all so excited about the success. And let's face it, the little one. Gary. Gary Coleman. Gary. Gary.

Well, let's face it. He was our meal ticket. He was absolutely adorable, brilliant, funny, a real pro. Oh, he was the best. And they were all so nice to me. What's his name? The other one. Todd.

Todd Bridges. And Gary. And they were so adorable. And we had a glorious year together. But then towards the end of the first year, they insisted because Fred Silverman came into the picture and he wanted to spin me off because he remembered me from Sylvia Schnauzer, Car 54.

And he wanted to spin me off with a new series because he took over the network and so I had to leave them and go in with the girls and well

I was really very very anxious about it because I loved the boys. And, you know, Mr. Drummond, what's his name? Conrad Bain. Yeah, Conrad Bain. Oh, Connie Bain. How was he to work with? Very, very professional and very nice.

Very, very nice. Very nice gentleman. And so I was scared to death, but they spun me off. So I didn't see them after the first year. But that's when the trouble began. You know, you got those jobs, I think, in part, Charlotte, because of your relationship with Norman Lear that went back many, many years. Is that correct? To Colgate Comedy Hour?

Yeah, that's right. Because I remember the first time I ever saw you when I was a kid, when I became aware of you, was on the Norman Lear show called Hot El Baltimore. Oh, I loved that show. It was great. Do you remember, Gil? Oh, yeah.

With Richard Baser. It was a wonderful show. Yeah, it was. And they had Jamie Cromwell. Sure. And Conchata Farrell. Al Freeman Jr. Al Freeman Jr. Oh, it was a beautiful cast.

And then you got on, you actually had nothing to worry about because your next job after Different Stroke was Facts of Life. Yeah. Which was a major hit. Yeah, after Different Strokes. And you got Mindy Cohen on the show. this show. I think... Yeah, I mean, we went to, what's the name of that finishing school in the Valley? I forget the name of it, but she was a student there. It's now affiliated with

Harvard down there. And where are you? Oh, you're not from California. Okay. No, we're Brooklyn kids. Okay. And plenty of knishes, right? Gilbert's eating one now. Yeah. Has it got a cherry knish?

I love cherry. Oh, I'll have to bring you one these days. Charlotte, we'll only keep you a couple of more minutes, but tell us about your long friendship with Cloris Leachman, who Gilbert has also had the pleasure of working with. Oh, she's a pistol. She's a fantastic actress. My God.

You guys go way back. Yeah, we went to college together, but she left after our sophomore year she went on to new york and had a well she's still having a glorious career she is and you did absolutely you room together didn't you get an apartment together in new york yes we did we did we did you read about it in the book i sure did yeah and Yeah. And also on Facts of Life, Molly Ringwald was one of the girls. Yeah, she was in the first year. And they got rid of her for some reason.

Yeah, too bad. She's done, oh, I just did a show called Home and Family on one of those networks. And they were kind of offering it to me, the facts of life. And it was like a tribute to me. And two of the girls were on it, Kim Fields and what's her name? Lisa. Lisa? Lisa.

Lisa Welschel. And they brought back Todd Bridges from the different strokes to greet me. And they found he was only in town one day, he was in Berlin promoting his film, but George Clooney. And they had him, they interviewed him and he wrote in my book, Facts of My Life, he wrote a lovely, lovely tribute to me. Yeah. And Molly Ringwald, tribute to me. Yeah. And Molly Ringwald, they got her and she gave a wonderful tribute to me. It was lovely, really lovely show. Yeah. Do you remember getting an award a few years ago, Charlotte, at the TV Land Awards for Facts of Life? Yes. I wrote that show. Oh, that was a beautiful, beautiful show. We actually met that night. You wouldn't remember me.

Oh, no, that was a beautiful show. You were busy. Yeah. We're proud of it. On Facts of Life, then there was that kind of semi-scandalous thing that they started calling the show The Facts of Life because they were all, the network was worried that these girls were putting on weight. Yeah, they gave the girls a hard time.

And you know what? Shame on them. You know, they were young girls going through puberty. And frankly, I really thought between you and me, it was in a way, it was nice because girls could look at them and say, they look like human beings or they look like me or they don't look like they're a Barbie doll. They look like regular teenagers. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. I mean, they weren't, but they kept, they didn't, the girls had a tough time with them. But, you know, the more they tried to make them lose weight, the more they ate. The more they ate. Now, I heard they kept a scale on the set, that they had to weigh them in. Well, I don't know about that, but that's what they told me afterwards. Now, this is the story I was most interested in asking you. I heard you called joan collins a bitch well it was it was you know this is so crazy i had been home sick with the flu for a couple of weeks

and it was my first night out and my friend who had directed me in Facts of Life and directed what was it called? With Joan Collins and the other one. Oh, Dynasty. No, no. That other woman in Dynasty as well. No, from J.R. J.A.

Dallas. What's her name? Linda Evans. The two of them were in a play together called what? Dallas. Dallas, yeah. What's her name? Linda Evans. Linda Evans. Yeah, yeah. The two of them were in a play together called what? I don't know. Yeah. What it was.

It was a two-character play, and John Boab directed it. And John Boab was complaining to me that Joan Collins was impossible, absolutely impossible and very ungracious to Joan Evans and everything. So I don't know what came over me. I was so happy to be out and about and I was going up the red carpet and they stopped me and they said, well, now what do you think of the show? What do you think of Joan Collins?

Oh, I said, she's a bitch. Oh, yeah. I said, oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes. Oh, she's an absolute bitch. Very difficult to work with. And I mean, I don't know, I was just absolutely crazed. I mean, I wasn't on drugs or anything. I didn't even take a Tylenol.

I mean, I don't know. It was just one of those times. And, you know, I wrote her an apology because I heard her on television. I heard her saying, who is that pig about me? No, she said, who is that old cow? And so I wrote her a note of apology

and had them slip it under her door. I'm the one and I apologize. You do a beautiful job in the show and I'm making amends to you. This is signed, the old cow. That's great. That's great. That's great.

Charlotte, where do you get my book? On Amazon? Yes, indeed. On Amazon. All right, Charlotte. And other places, too. Your book, which is loaded

with both great stories, showbiz stories, sad, revealing life stories. Also the great pictures. Let's point out those wonderful pictures of you and everybody, Larry Hagman

and Charles Durning and Cloris Leachman and Bea Arthur and Paul Lind and John Astin and several people we've had as a guest on this show. Charlotte, Paul Dooley, and Julie Newmar. Yeah.

And Ken Berry, who you were in Hello Down There. Right, right. And a picture of your father, who, as you say in the book, resembles Gary Cooper. Yes. Yeah, I'm glad you agree with me. He does. Yeah. So the last thing we're going to ask you, Charlotte. Oh, I'm glad you agree with me. He does. Yeah. So the last thing we're going to ask you, Charlotte.

Oh, but wait. Go ahead. It's the facts of my life. We'll get it in at the end, too. It's the facts of my life by Charlotte Ray and Larry Strauss. Get it on Amazon. Charlotte, here's what I wanted to ask you. Can you still do the Zsa Zsa the Gabor sisters impression

well I know no I have not done it for many years you know so anyway I wanted someone rich and wealthy powerful so I ran away with my father terrific So I ran away with my father.

Terrific. Wow, that's fun. And you were in a movie that Frank and I joke about a lot. We just talked about it. Hello Down There. Oh, yeah. Tony Randall. Yeah. And Richard Dreyfuss, who sings a love song to a goldfish in the movie. I just watched a scene today, Charlotte, with you and Roddy McDowell.

It's very, very funny. Oh, God. Okay, now, Charlotte, my wife is telling me to wrap it up and let you rest for a little bit. I know. I got an interview tomorrow morning. Yes. Dancing with the Stars. Yes.

Oh. You're going to do Dancing with the Stars, Charlotte? I'll tell you. What's her name is doing it? Kim Fields. Oh. And they're interviewing me. They're coming to my house tomorrow morning. Oh, I thought you were going to do the show before i'm i i go into rehearsal i'm going into rehearsal um

uh tomorrow at 12 o'clock they're picking me up to go i'm going to do something um With a wonderful group. It's called Endgame by Samuel Beckett. Oh, sure. And Kim wants me to go on Dancing with the Stars, sit in the audience, and then maybe do a time step or something with her in one of the things. or something with her in one of the things. And in the meantime, they're going to interview me in my apartment tomorrow morning about her. Well, we'll let you get some rest. They're coming at 9.30, and then I have to leave at 12.

So this has been wonderful, guys. Oh. I hope to meet you someday. We hope so. And before you go, I heard, like, women still come up to you, and they want a hug from Mrs. Garrett. This is true. So when I see you, I am expecting a hug from Mrs. Garrett. You will get it.

And I just thought that show that you put together on that network was really superb. What show was that, Cheryl? Well, you know, with all of us on. Oh, the TV Land show. Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad you liked it. It was an honor to meet you. Well, thank you very much.

And enjoy yourself. Be in good good health and send my best to your wife well stay with us we're gonna plug the book one more time we gotta plug the book again oh wonderful we've been talking to uh actress and comedian and now charlotte not she's got your number bill She is not only an actress and comedian, but now an author with the facts of my life by Charlotte Ray and Larry Strauss. You can get it on Amazon. You can get it through Barnes and Noble, too, by the way. You can get it a lot of places.

Just throwing that out there. And so we've been talking to the... I mean, I'm telling you, we have not gotten to a quarter of the things we wanted to talk to you about. There's so many things we could do, Charlotte. So many things we could talk about. Well, we'll have to do it again. Well, thank you. Absolutely.

Absolutely. about but we'll have to do it again well thank you absolutely absolutely and also people can go on amazon and get your funny album which is yes yes songs i taught my mother yes thank you very much frank and thank you gilbert thank you charlotte it's an absolute treat for us see you you remember my name. What do you think of that? Yeah. Thank you, Charlotte Ray. Take care of yourself. And exit laughing.

Ah, that's perfect. Bye bye. Okay. Bye.