Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 13. Drew Friedman

Episode Date: August 25, 2014

To kick off the launch of his new book, "Heroes of the Comics," Gilbert and Frank are joined by their favorite illustrator, the incomparable DREW FRIEDMAN. While sitting and admiring Drew's work adorn...ing the walls of Manhattan's Society of Illustrators, we managed to cover everything from Drew and Gilbert's days at "National Lampoon" to Gilbert's Lon Chaney, Jr. obsession to the time a 15-year-old Drew paid a visit to the home of the legendary Groucho Marx. ALSO: why Drew is Howard Stern's favorite artist..."The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant"...Jerry Lewis kvells over Drew's portrait...and the triumphant return of Milton Berle's schlong! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried. You're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. Today, we're talking to one of the greatest illustrators and cartoonists of our time. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Newsweek, Esquire, Rolling Stone, Time, National Lampoon, and the Wall Street Journal, just to name a few. So today, Frank Santopadre and myself sat down with Drew Friedman
Starting point is 00:01:09 at New York City Society of Illustrators. The name of his brand new book is Heroes of the Comics, featuring 85 portraits of the legends of comic books published by Fantagraphics Books. So now we talk to Drew Friedman. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and this is the Amazing Colossal Podcast. We're here. Today we're taping at the Society of Illustrators on 63rd between Park and Lex, where they're currently having a whole gallery of the work of Drew Friedman.
Starting point is 00:02:02 And if you don't know that name, you'd recognize his drawings from, like, National Lampoon, where I met him, and the New Yorker, and I think every other magazine. Playboy, yeah. Everywhere else. So, was I in Playboy? I don't remember. You weren't in Playboy?
Starting point is 00:02:20 No. No. No. See, I told Frank never to talk during this show. I begged him. You were never in Playboy? No, I was no. See, I told Frank never to talk during this show. I begged him. You were never in Playboy? No, I was never in Playboy. See, you're killing the show. Frank, shut up. I've read Playboy.
Starting point is 00:02:31 My dad was in Playboy. You don't know anything about my guests. What do you know? Please, please shut up, Frank. He has to mention Playboy. You've never been in it. No, I've never been. Entertainment Weekly.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Yes, there you go. There you go. We mix them up. You've never been in it. No, I've never been. Entertainment Weekly. Yes, there you go. There we go. We mix them up. You were in Highlight. Highlight, yes. I only went to the Dennis to read Highlight. Yes. It's the only reason.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Now, we did meet, I'm pretty sure, at National Lampoon. We did. We kind of found each other there because we both loved Lon Chaney Jr. Yes. And Lionel Atwell and George Zucco. So we had that in common, especially Tor Johnson. Oh, yeah. So we clicked.
Starting point is 00:03:13 And I remember I used to write articles at the time. And for National Lampoon. This is when National Lampoon was no longer funny. This is the 80s. It was no longer funny. This is the 80s. It was no longer funny. So that's when we joined. It's kind of like my season of Saturday Night Live. It's when the show stopped being funny.
Starting point is 00:03:34 That's right. Belushi had left. Chevy Chase had left. You had Joe Piscopo. Yeah. So I bring in the- Charlie Rocket. Charlie Rocket, right?
Starting point is 00:03:45 What happened to him? Oh, I could tell you. He says, fuck, and the career is over. Over and out. Over and out. But we loved him. I remember him fondly. Not a Jew.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Charlie's no longer with us. I know that. God bless his soul. That's what you're supposed to say, right? God bless his soul. That's what you're supposed to say, right? God bless his soul. Fuck him. But he's not a Jew and he's not hanging on the wall. And do you remember what I nicknamed you at Lion Poop?
Starting point is 00:04:15 Well, I know you're lying whenever we run into each other. To this day, Jew dots, Jew dots. Of course, I haven't drawn with dots for 20 years. It doesn't matter. I don't renew my dots for 20 years. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I don't renew my material. It's an affectionate... If you know anything about me... That's for sure.
Starting point is 00:04:32 I've been doing the same act since I was 12. It's a tradition with us. Jew dots. Yeah, you would come in with your head down, and I'd follow you around and start screaming, Jew dots! Everyone bow down to Jew dots! That's right, that's right.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Because you would shade with millions of tiny dots. That's right, obsessive dots. And I'm tapping on a table like, please. That's right. Remember that Gilbert used to come over to my apartment on 6th Street, you know, the block with all the 400 Indian restaurants. Oh, yes, yes. I'd be working on a deadline, and Gilbert would knock on the door, so I'd let him in. So what do you want?
Starting point is 00:05:10 He said, I want to watch Plan 9 from Outer Space. I actually had a VHS recorder. Gilbert just got one last year. So I put that on, or the Black Sleeper, you know, the old shitty. I just got a Betamax. Doesn't that work like a charm? I love it. I'm't know, the Black Sleep or, you know, the old shitty. I just got a Betamax. Doesn't that work like a charm? Yeah. I love it.
Starting point is 00:05:27 I'm into Beta, too. But we would sit there in silence and watch these movies together. Beast of Yucca Flats. Well, that, too. Anything with Tor Jones. What I remember, too, is when I was a kid, they would have, like, reruns of Route 66 every day at a certain time. And I always knew there was this one episode called, I think, Owlet's Wing and Lizard's Tail. That's it.
Starting point is 00:05:56 And that had Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr. and Peter Lorre. Right. And I would check the tv uh section every day the one day i don't check it i realized that one aired that's right and it i think i missed that too but we used to see the photographs and famous monsters oh yeah lon chaney had lousy werewolf makeup on oh horace carl if they just stuck a thing on his head the worst the worst and peter laurie peter laurie didn't have to wear any makeup anyway. That was what was so ridiculous. Very weak.
Starting point is 00:06:27 At the end, they're supposed to come out as their classic characters. So Boris Karloff's in Frankenstein makeup, Lon Chaney Jr.'s in Wolfman makeup, and Peter Lorre's wearing a top hat. That's right. Not Mr. Moto? No, not Mr. Moto.
Starting point is 00:06:43 He should have. In theory, it sounded great. But when you actually watched it, it was one of those things. This stinks. It was terrible. Oh, it was awful. That's right. I thought, how could it be bad with those three? George Maharis was better in that.
Starting point is 00:06:57 It was a big disappointment, but it didn't live up. Now, here's always the test. Can you name the person who was caught in the men's room with George Maharis? Oh, that guy? Tom Leopold would know. I know it. I don't know his name. Oh, I'm ashamed.
Starting point is 00:07:17 And I'm ashamed. I do know who played in The Amazing Colossal Man. That was Glenn Langdon. Oh, very good. Gilbert had asked me about that earlier, and I didn't Google it. It just came to me. Anyway, the guy in the men's room was Perfecto Telles. That's right, that's right.
Starting point is 00:07:32 A guy who could only, when you have a name like that. Can you get him for this show? That's hard to get. That's a great story. He's the only person I can get for this show. I think you should track him down and get him, because that's an amazing story, which we can't tell on this show.
Starting point is 00:07:49 It was very disappointing. Perfecto Tellez. I heard Leopold mention that name. That's right. I think he wrote a book. Didn't he write a book like Lance Renssel wrote a book? I believe he did. He wrote his book, too. Lance Renssel was, of course,
Starting point is 00:08:06 Joey Hetherton's husband, who, like, can I, well, like Woody Allen was into children. I'm going there. I'm going there. Wow. Someone asked me about Woody Allen. Drew, do you believe it? I said, I don't know. I wasn't there. But to me, the worst crime is these shitty movies he's made for the last
Starting point is 00:08:21 20 years. That offends me. I think the first horror movie that I remember seeing as a little boy was The Indestructible Man. Right, we've discussed that. Lon Chaney Jr., Joe Flynn from McHale's Navy. Wow. And I think it was Robert Shane.
Starting point is 00:08:44 And Casey Adams. Oh, Casey Adams, who was also known as Max Showalter. Remember him, Frank? That's right. I remember Robert Shane from Superman. Yes. Inspector Henderson. But Casey Adams, and he was also known as Max Showalter,
Starting point is 00:09:00 was also in 16 Candles with Molly Ringwald. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And he was in the Twilight Zone episode with Billy Mummy, where he sends everybody out into the corner. Oh, wow. He's in there.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Oh, I know who he is. Yeah, yeah. I know who he is now. He had those real crazy eyes. He was serious, and then he went comedic. I know who he is. And then he went back to comedic. That's when you said that.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Yeah. Or back to serious. Yeah. Casey Adam. But we used to watch that. We used to talk about that because Lon Chaney had those baggy eyes
Starting point is 00:09:27 at that point. Oh, yeah. They used to show close-ups of his eyes in the movie. Gilbert and I watched that on Chilla Theater when we were kids.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Yeah. Because they show it every other week, practically. And they're playing like dramatic music on his eyes like it's supposed to.
Starting point is 00:09:42 And the scary thing is he's got a drunk's eyes. That's right. Very baggy and red. It was black and white back in those days. You could see the red in the black and white. The theater showed about, they rotated about six different movies.
Starting point is 00:09:55 You know it was going to come up once a month. It was that and the giant behemoth and the black sleep and then back to indestructible man. And the black sleep was and then back to Indestructible Man. And the black sleep was a big disappointment, because that was Lon Chaney Jr., John Carradine, Tor Johnson. And Basil Rathbone.
Starting point is 00:10:14 And it's like the parts with the main, and Bela Lugosi, who's not talking. His official last film. Plan 9, he kind of walked around in front of Tor Johnson's house. And then The Graveyard. But Black Sleep was his official last film. Is that the one you emailed me the photographs from? I'm sure I did.
Starting point is 00:10:29 They're having lunch in the cafe. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Life Magazine sent photographers there. They never ran the photographs, but they took hundreds of photographs at a restaurant in Hollywood in 1956 when they wrapped the film. And they were all in costume. So Tor Johnson comes in with his undershirt on, shaved head, and he was there to eat. They were all hungry.
Starting point is 00:10:50 It was an amazing photograph. Life magazine. They are wonderful pictures. They never released them. They never showed them in a magazine, but years later, that's why the interwebs are nice sometimes. Sometimes they work. And I heard they used to try to eat in a commissary,
Starting point is 00:11:04 and everyone's complaining about how disturbing they looked. Well, yeah, those guys and the woman with the hair popping out of her face. The guy with the half his face, George Chiquita. Oh, yes. He had this amazing cast. He had a sailor's outfit. That's right. I don't know why that was so scary. It had this amazing cast. He had a sailor's outfit. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I don't know why that was so scary. I forget who the writer was, but they flash back to Tor Johnson before he becomes a mongoloid idiot. And he's like a professor. He's wearing a monocle. That's right. It's like, here, the poor professor from Russia. And like, look at him now. Like a monocle. Well, he must be smart.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Because how else could you wear a monocle? That's right. He was always an intellectual at the beginning. And then he becomes a mongoloid idiot. Like anyone could possibly believe. A police chief in Plan 9 from Outer Space, of course. Professor Clay. A police chief who can't walk three feet without getting winded.
Starting point is 00:12:06 He pulls out his pistol and that's it. But he had his most dialogue in that film. A soliloquy, basically. Oh, yeah, and Lon Chaney Jr. plays Mongo. And it's supposed to be that originally he was also a brilliant professor named Dr. Monroe. That's right. But because now he's a monster, they can't call him Dr. Monroe. That's right. But because now he's a monster, they can't call him Dr. Monroe.
Starting point is 00:12:30 They have to give him a monster name. He was Mongo or Lobo. You know, he went back and forth. He usually was Lobo, no matter what movie he was in. Like if a guy's name was Jack Jones, they couldn't call him Jack Jones if he's a monster. So it would be like JoJo.
Starting point is 00:12:46 My favorite Tor Johnson moment is when he was on You Bet Your Life with Groucho Mane. Oh, my God, yes. It was 1960. He was plugging a film that never even came out. Night of the Ghouls, I think it was called. But they had beautiful chemistry together. Your name is Tor Johnson, and're United of the ghouls Tor was frustrated
Starting point is 00:13:08 And then he got into it They could have taken the act On the road Did he know that Groucho Marx was a comedian? He had no clue He was there for the money I think And he didn't get a single question right Did Fenneman treat him well?
Starting point is 00:13:24 Greek mythology was his category. I don't know how he picked that. He stood there in silence. You look at him and you say, oh, this guy knows Greek mythology. Somehow that was his category. He didn't get one right and he left with nothing. It was one of the great moments.
Starting point is 00:13:43 So Gilbert would come to your apartment to watch, and you would put these movies on for him on VHS. I'd put them, we'd sit there in silence and watch them. It was the first time I saw that episode of Route 66. That's right, I played it for him. And it was a bad copy. It was all like static. Yeah, everything was bad then.
Starting point is 00:13:57 It's all you had. Yeah, yeah. But it was... It was a bad copy of a bad show. Then I finally got a clean copy, and it was just god awful. Even worse. That's right. But, you know, that was one of two times Lon Chaney was on Route 66, if you remember.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Because he also played George Maharis' father. Do I remember? In an episode. How could I forget? Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to? Do I remember? And who was also on that, and they didn't have a scene together, like idiots, they didn't put them together,
Starting point is 00:14:30 was Betty Fields, who starred with Lon Chaney in Of Mice and Men. Wow, I didn't know that. And they did no scenes together, which was idiotic. What were they thinking? Betty Fields? No, I didn't know that. I forgot that. I did not know that.
Starting point is 00:14:44 I did not know that. Betty Fields? No, I didn't know that. I forgot that. I did not know that. I did not know that. Betty Fields. And what would happen when you told Gilbert that he had to leave? Because you had to work. You had a deadline. I was a fan of Gilbert. You know, he was a comedian. I said, Gilbert, I have to, you know.
Starting point is 00:14:58 After a couple hours, like Gilbert lived about a block from me. I was on 6th Street. I lived on Avenue A. Gilbert was on 6th Street. I lived on Avenue A. Gilbert was on Avenue A. So I sent him home. And, you know, and we put on the parka. He'd come back next week. It was beautiful.
Starting point is 00:15:13 I sent him home to his mom, and he'd come back next week. I was basically like Kramer. That's right. You show up. You were my Norton. Yes. Get out. Get out.
Starting point is 00:15:24 And he'd come back. And all was forgiven. But were my Norton. Yes. Get out. Get out. And then he'd come back. And always forgiven. But we had, those were happy times. We had lots of fun. Oh, boy. Now, and I remember that you also used to show Boris Karloff in The Haunted Strangler. Oh, sure. Yeah, it was like a bad...
Starting point is 00:15:48 Late 50s Boris Karloff. Oh, yes. Real bad. The Manster? No, that wasn't... Oh, The Manster I liked. We loved The Manster. Remember that, Frank?
Starting point is 00:15:57 We loved that. Yeah, it was a two-headed... It was a joint production of America and Japan. Right. He's a two-headed guy. He's got another little manster growing inside his body. And when they finally split apart, there's a tree between them. Yes!
Starting point is 00:16:13 And then all of a sudden they come apart. I thought it was amazing when I was a kid. And later on I figured out they were just saving money on specials. There's a tree between them, and he splits off. And I'm going, wait, wait a second. If two bodies split apart from one body, how come his clothes are covering him on both bodies? And the master, the other little guy,
Starting point is 00:16:35 is a Japanese guy in makeup. I think that's Glenn Langdon, too. It was like a blonde-haired guy who played the poor master. But there was one great scene where he gets affected by radiation or whatever the hell, and he's looking the bathroom mirror, pulls down his shirt, and on the back of his shoulder is an eye. A little eyeball. Yeah. It's disturbing.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Have you showed that to your son yet? No. You're saving that? Save that for him. It's like a cousin of the incredible two-headed transplant. Basically. You're saving that? Save that for him. That was a tree. A cousin of the incredible two-headed transplant? Basically. It was an early version of that.
Starting point is 00:17:09 With Ray Moland. Before they found Rosie... Yeah, yeah. It was the beginning of that genre of film. Two-headed... And all I could think about watching that one was
Starting point is 00:17:19 how bad Rosie Greer must have smelled like in the... It's possible Ray Mullane didn't smell so great either. That's true too. Just because he was a football player. And big and fat. Rosie Greer went from protecting
Starting point is 00:17:34 Robert Kennedy from getting killed. He did a great job co-starring. And the two had a transplant. And he was knitting at the same time too. So he would have to go to job interviews and go, what was your last job? Well, I was protecting the life of Senator Kennedy. Of Senator Kennedy.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Oh, you're hired. Yeah. Nice job. That went well. That's got him hired on the incredible two-headed. Before we go completely off track here. Oh, but wait, wait. One segue.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Wasn't he lurch protecting JFK in Dallas today? Ted Cassidy? Ted Cassidy. I know he was on the grassy knoll. I think that was. Woody Harrelson's father was there. He was a newspaper. That was Cousin It.
Starting point is 00:18:24 That's right. Was protecting John Kennedy. And I remember in the two-headed transplant, Ray Moland is there with his head over Rosie Greer's shoulder. That was a good scene. That was the special effect. And they run. They do a lot of running. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:18:41 And when they're running, it's Rosie Greer running and this little balloon with a smiley face on it bouncing around. Ray Millan was an Oscar winner, you know, for Lost Weekend. And here he is with Rosie Greer. And there's one part where he takes over control of the mind while Rosie Greer is asleep. And he makes Rosie Greer punch himself in the face and knock himself out. Beautiful. It was sort of a brotherhood story. Wasn't it supposed to be like the Defiant Ones
Starting point is 00:19:14 as a lot of these twins? And then there was the other one. With Bruce Dern. Bruce Dern, yes. That's right, that's right. But he was the man. That was one of those films that famous monsters would showcase it,
Starting point is 00:19:24 and it looked like it was going to be great. Sort of like Dracula vs. Frankenstein with Vizandor Vorkov. Oh, my God, yes. And then you'd see it, and it was the worst piece of shit. I was like, what are they thinking? Who's paying these guys off? Oh, Frankenstein vs. Dracula. And that's Lon Chaney's last film.
Starting point is 00:19:40 And J. Carol Nash. And J. Carol Nash's film. And I heard that. And Russ Tamblyn was in it. Oh, yes, yes, from from west side story and strippers were in there and anthony ashley i think is in there and and i i heard at one time uh lon chaney was sitting in the room with uh jay carol nash and he said oh well Jay, I guess we're both going to be dead soon. And Jay Carroll and I said, shut up, Lon.
Starting point is 00:20:10 But he was right. I think they both died shortly after. It's true. That was that last. Gilbert, you used to talk about return from the past with Lon Chaney. Oh, my God, yes. He played a doctor, a scientist. Yeah, brilliant doctor.
Starting point is 00:20:24 And all he did was talk about his theories. I have a theory. I have a theory. You never figured out what his theory was, but that was all his – I have a theory. He was supposed to be a Scottish doctor, which he's very convincing as a Scottish doctor. That film is great because you watch that, and John Carradine is the host. Oh, my God. And he's holding a cigarette throughout the whole film as he's hosting in his hand.
Starting point is 00:20:47 He can't even bother to put it down because he knows what shit he's filming. He won't even bother to put the cigarette down. I think they're paying him $100 and they fed him. And it's a piece of shit. But, you know, Gilbert and I used to discuss that film. The fact that he even put his pants on. That's right. They pay him. He's like Henny Youngman. They pay him. He's like Henny Youngman.
Starting point is 00:21:06 They pay him. He's a Henny Youngman of horror actors. You're going to pay me? I'll come. And he was. He's a Scottish doctor in the 1800s. That's right. And Rochelle Hudson was in that too. She was once a star. There's one scene
Starting point is 00:21:22 and it takes place in the 1800s. It was like Dark Shadows. There were flashbacks. And Lon Chaney's wearing a wristwatch. Ah, yeah. Through the whole movie. It's like Jerry Lewis in The Day the Clown Cried. He's got his wristwatch.
Starting point is 00:21:34 He's got his pinky ring, and he's got his black shiny shoes on. Aside from that, yes, he's in Auschwitz. And he's got a pomade in his hair. That's right. So because we're here at the Society of Illustrators. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I just remembered. I'm never going to get to this.
Starting point is 00:21:52 When he finally brings. One more point. One more point. When Cheney brings the guy to life, the dead body. He walks off just to have a scene where like, I I guess for the dead guy to kill the other two students. And he walks off for no reason. I think for a phone call. Or get a drink.
Starting point is 00:22:14 In the 1800s. He's getting a drink. And he goes off. And then when they go back to Chaney, he's, like, there supposedly just making looks like he's excited about his discovery. Yeah, his theory. My theory. His theory. You never hear what his theory is.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Oh, my theory. I have a theory. They wouldn't even bother to come up with how they brought a dead guy. Oh, my theory will bring dead people to life. That's right. I think one dead guy does pop up off the table. Yes, and he kills. And he looks confused.
Starting point is 00:22:48 What am I doing in this club? Like Doodle's Weaver, I think he looks like. Yeah, what am I doing? And then he strangles Don Chaney, and that's the end. Doodle's Weaver, who killed himself. That's right. Indeed he did. It's very sad.
Starting point is 00:23:00 But then if you're Doodle's Weaver, you'd have to kill yourself. There's no other. Uncle, Sigourney's Uncle Doodle. Yes. That's right. That we were his brother. That's right. That we were his brother.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Is that why he killed him? My brother's a CBS, the president of CBS, NBC, and I'm a comedian. Yes. But I'll take doodles Weaver any day. Tell us about meeting Groucho when you were a kid. Well, my dad actually knew Aaron Fleming, who was Groucho's girlfriend in the 60s. And they knew each other,
Starting point is 00:23:31 so we were out in Los Angeles in 1974 vacationing, my dad and my brothers. So she called my dad and said, Groucho loves kids. Could you come visit? So he mentioned that. Sure, we'd love that. So we went to his house. Groucho answered the door. He came up to us. And the first thing he said was,
Starting point is 00:23:49 it's a pleasure to meet you and your three lovely daughters. Our hair was a little long. And, you know, so it was an amazing, amazing afternoon with Groucho. He sang his songs with Aaron Fleming. At one point, my brother Josh asked, Groucho, we used to live in Great Neck, Long Island. There was a theater there called The Playhouse. In the back, they had an old organ. It used to be a Vaudeville theater. Do you remember it? And Groucho said, I got an old organ myself.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Everything was a straight line and everything was like... He couldn't actually have a conversation with the man. Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys walked in. Groucho never... he didn't know who he was. He goes to Groucho, he says, Mr. Marks, it's an honor to meet you. And Groucho looks up at him, he goes, it ought to be. And it went on and on like that.
Starting point is 00:24:36 But that was like, you know, I was 15 at the time, so that was pretty amazing. We didn't take any photographs, which I don't know why, but there we are. And I heard that then you got an invitation to come back. Yes. Actually, my dad, after the next day, Aaron Fleming again, the notorious Aaron Fleming, but, you know, this was before we knew about her. She was beating him up and slapping him around. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:57 She calls back my dad and says, like, Groucho had such a great time. He'd like to invite you back next week, and our special guest in the house is going to be Mae West. They haven't seen each other in 35 years since they were at Paramount together. So my dad says to my brothers and I, Groucho's invited us back. Mae West is going to be his guest. And we kind of look at each other and go, eh, we had enough Groucho. So to this day, I regret that.
Starting point is 00:25:22 We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. Tell the audience who you're the, our listener, who your dad was. Well, my dad's a writer named Bruce J. Friedman. Still is, I mean. Yeah, he still is. He's a writer. He's written for movies. Well, you could kill him now and then he would have been Bruce J. Friedman.
Starting point is 00:25:44 He still is and he's still active. But he's written a lot of movies. He's written some movies like Splash and Stir Crazy and plays like Steam Beth. And he wrote Heartbreak Kid, the movie Heartbreak Kid. It became the Neil Simon film. Steam Beth, where Valerie Perrine is naked. I know that. That's all you remember.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Yes. Right past Bill Bixby. Right past the actual plot. And Bill Bixby was know that. That's all you remember. Yes. Right past Bill Bixby. Right past the actual plot. And Bill Bixby was in it. That's right. Well, that was the TV version a little later. Yeah. Art Matrana was in there.
Starting point is 00:26:13 And he had a small part. And Herb Edelman, quite a cast. Oh, yes, yes. And Kenneth Mars. And so, yeah, that was on TV with Bill Bixby. And I chose Bill Bixby for the part because at, what do you call it? The public TV, WNET,
Starting point is 00:26:29 they proposed three actors to my dad. Dennis Weaver, James Franciscus, or Bill Bixby. This was like in 1972. So my dad didn't know who any of them were. He didn't really watch TV. So he came to me.
Starting point is 00:26:41 He said, Drew, who should I pick? I said, Bixby's your man. And I based that on Bixby's performance in Court Ship of Eddie's Father. Yes. Where he was very good in that with Brandon DeWild. And he was really good in Steambass.
Starting point is 00:26:51 He was. Yeah, he was good. It was a good production. And Bill Bixby, you know. And you could see Valerie Pryne naked. That's right. That's what everybody seems to remember. But there was more to it than that.
Starting point is 00:27:01 I'm going to correct you because I got Playboy Magazine wrong. Brandon Cruz instead of Brandon DeWild. You are right. Have I redeemed myself? Who's Brandon DeWild? I'm thinking. No, no. Shane.
Starting point is 00:27:09 From Shane. You keep bringing up Playboy. And it's your biggest disaster on the show. I'm going to get him working Playboy yet. Brandon Cruz, who was, I think, dated Jodie Foster, didn't they? They were together in courtship of Eddie's father. And then he became a punk singer, didn't he? I believe so.
Starting point is 00:27:27 You should get him for the show. He's got all those Mrs. Livingston stories. Didn't he become an animator who worked on South Park? Quite possible, yeah. I believe so. But he was good on that show, too. Oh, here. Speaking of Groucho, do you remember, well, you definitely remember this,
Starting point is 00:27:45 the story of mankind? Of course. That was an Irwin Allen production. And he got Harpo and Chico. But not together. Harpo, Chico, and Groucho all separately. Yeah, not all separately. Hey, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:58 You get the Marx Brothers. Yeah. It's the Marx Brothers, but let's have them all work separately because that's where their strength is. They pretty much work separately in Love, Happy, too. Oh, yes, yes. Well, Groucho was busy with Marilyn Monroe in that one, at least. But I think Groucho, he's that guy who discovers Manhattan Island in that one.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Oh, yes. And one of his ex-wives is like an Indian girl. Yeah, she doesn't wear pants. And Harpo, she has a little skirt on. Yeah. I think that's why he took the part. Oh, yeah. Because his wife could get work.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I think Harpo plays, he plays Isaac Newton. Oh, yes. And then Appa falls on his knees. He doesn't speak. And Chico is like, was there because, as always, he was broke. He needed the money. He was a gambler. All right.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Chico needed the money. Yeah. That was always his excuse. Everything Groucho did after 1940. Well, you know, Chico needed the money. And then they asked me to do it
Starting point is 00:28:54 because Chico was in it. I was like, Chico needed the money. That was his excuse. Why did you appear in this piece of shit, Groucho? Oh, Chico needed the money. All right, well, you know, we'll give you a free ride then.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Why did you kill that woman and her child? Chico needed the money. Yes, Chico was a gambler, and he lost money on a horse. So I killed him. Why did you kill Sharon Tate? Well, Chico needed the money. Let's talk about something really unusual. Why did you start?
Starting point is 00:29:34 Why did you perpetuate the Holocaust? You won't stop him. Well, Chico needed the money. Why did you kill JFK, Groucho? Well, Chico needed the money. You killed Martin Luther King. Well, Chaconne needed the money. Here, Drew, you want to read the questions?
Starting point is 00:29:53 What's the question? I heard... Let's go on. Groucho, why did you bomb the World Trade Center? Chaconne needed the money. trade Santa. Chick-o-needle. Chick-o-needle. Why did you supply
Starting point is 00:30:07 Philip Seymour Hoffman with heroin? Well, chick-o-needle. You're off the hook. Wow. Let me go completely off the reservation here and ask you about your artwork. Okay. You draw?
Starting point is 00:30:33 He does. Well, look around us. We're here at the Society of Illustrators. We're celebrating old Jewish comedians right here. And why are you doing this? Because you're a comedian. That's right. Why are you doing this?
Starting point is 00:30:43 Because you're a comedy writer. That's right. When did you know your dad was obviously a comedy writer and you grew up in a funny house? When did you know that you were going to draw as opposed to write? I actually, you know, I'll veer off for a second. It was like I was a weird little kid. Yeah, because it was really going on a straight line, Zach. I've been telling you.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I'll veer off a chicken. Okay, I'll see If we can get back But I was like I was a strange little kid You know maybe Not to you guys Because you know
Starting point is 00:31:11 We share similar But you know When I was a little kid I didn't want to go to school I didn't want to go to camp I didn't want to go out and play I just wanted to sit in my room With my guinea pig
Starting point is 00:31:20 And read Mad Magazine And comic books And Famous Monsters Me exactly And watch Soupy Sales Still that. And watch Soupy Sales. Still that way. Watch Soupy Sales and watch the Three Stooges. Yeah, and the Bowery Boys and Adventures of Superman.
Starting point is 00:31:33 That's all I wanted. I resented I had to go to school. I had to go to school. Oh, yes. But I'm still angry about that. But I was just obsessed with Mad Magazine, mainly Mad. I got my education from Dave Berg, basically. He taught me everything I needed to know about life from the lighter side.
Starting point is 00:31:48 But anyway, like you guys, I was like, you know, just obsessed with comic books and Mad. And that was like, you know, I didn't want to leave my room. And, you know, it's still hard to get me out of my room, my office. So I was drawing at an early age. And I guess I showed some kind of weird talent for it. And I stuck with it. And here we are today. talent for it and i stuck with it and here we are today you know i i remember when i was a kid that in elementary school the teacher was playing a game like i'm gonna say two initials and you
Starting point is 00:32:13 have to guess a famous person with that name and you know so they go al so oh abraham lincoln and Oh, Abraham Lincoln and stuff like that. And then she goes, OS. And I very excitedly, I was like four at the time, I jump up and go, Onslow Stevens. That would have been my natural reaction. Yes. And GS, Glenn Strange. Onslow Stevens, like Descendants, wouldn't know that name. You remember him, Frank. You even lost me on that one.
Starting point is 00:32:46 He was the mad doctor in House of Dracula. That's right. I know who he is. Who was going to cure the monsters of their ailments. They couldn't get Boris Kaur for that one. Did he have a monocle? Well, he was under the quicksand from the first one. They couldn't get Bela Lugosi, so they got John Carradine to play Dracula in that one.
Starting point is 00:33:05 But he was actually good. He was good. He was good, and I love Carradine. He gave him a little mustache. Yes. And a top hat. That's right. And he was-
Starting point is 00:33:14 The dashing Dracula. He was good, and I always loved Carradine, but you had to have Lugosi as Dracula. You would think. Yeah. Abbott and Costello figured that out. Yes. After 20 years, you know, we should get him back as Dracula. He was pretty good in that. Yeah. Back would think. Abbott and Costello figured that out. Yes. After 20 years, you know we should get him back. He was pretty good in that.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Back in 1930. That's what started the entire horror craze is Lugosi as Dracula. Maybe he was good. Let's not use him again as Dracula. Let's wait 20 years before we use him again. And in Dracula's Daughter, they had
Starting point is 00:33:43 a paper mache Bela Lugosi lying in a coffin. Right. It was so, what an insult. And an MGM brought him over for Mark of the Vampire, but he wasn't Dracula. He was like, was that Alucard? Oh, no, no. Alucard. Wasn't that the son of Dracula?
Starting point is 00:34:00 Yes. Son of, you know, with Lon Chaney Jr. And overweight, the son of Dracula. Yes, very. Well, blood has overweight Son of Dragon. Yes, very. Well, blood has a lot of calories. That's right. He was an overweight. He had a big paunch when he was the mummy,
Starting point is 00:34:12 and he was at a paunch when he played Dragon. He was like the fattest mummy. Even with all the bandages on, you could see a potbelly. He was a well-fed mummy. Boris Karloff at least was emaciated. Tom Tyler was kind of thin too. Oh, yes. But Trini was a fat mummy.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Do you remember that? Yes. And what does Universal do? They use him five times in mummy films, even though he had a big belly. And a fat Dracula. Right. And they also gave him a mustache.
Starting point is 00:34:40 That's right. As the mummy. That's right. And he still had that Oklahoma accent. That's right. He couldn't lose it. To me, he sounds like Penn Jillette. If you listen to both of them, it's very similar.
Starting point is 00:34:52 I love Penn, but when I hear Penn talk, I hear Lon Chaney Jr. Yeah. I come from the hills of Transylvania. Okay. That's right. But there, he was Alucard. That's right.
Starting point is 00:35:07 And, but, yeah, in Return of the Vampire, it was always a name like Orkoff or something like that. Only the five. I love, we love Lon Chaney Jr., but, you know, even in The Wolfman, he's Claude Raine's son.
Starting point is 00:35:20 That just doesn't work. Oh, yes, yes. This distinguished British actor who's a foot shorter than Lon Chaney. You know, we, you know, the other night we analyzed these things. Yeah, doesn't work. Oh, yes. This distinguished British actor who's a foot shorter than Lon Chaney. You know, we analyze these things. I see that. I still love it, but it just wasn't working. Claude Rains comes up to his knees.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Father, father, I have something to admit. I have a theory. But my favorite Claude Rains line is in, because Cheney is talking about, does he believe in lycanthropy? And he goes, well, there's certain forms of schizophrenia. But a man actually taking the shape of a wolf?
Starting point is 00:36:00 I know. It's fantastic. That's fantastic. That's right. Thank you, Father. And Bela goes to see us. Bela. Yeah. And Maria Oskbenskaya, of course, who we all love. And you know, Maria Oskbenskaya is one of like
Starting point is 00:36:16 the, she's known as like one of the most famous acting teachers. Way before Lee Strasser. She invented the, you know, the whole acting. Is it Stanislavski? Yeah, she practically invented it. And then she's appearing in Universal Horror. And she must have felt like she was doing
Starting point is 00:36:32 porn to be doing here. It was a come down, I think. You know, it didn't quite work. Her Hollywood career didn't quite work. But she's well remembered, you know. I think she's mentioned on Dick Van Dyke Show. They bring up her name, don't they? One time. Maria Ouspenskaya? Yeah, they do bring it up. She's mentioned inremembered, you know. I think she's mentioned on Dick Van Dyke Show. They bring up her name, don't they? One time. Maria Ouspenskaya.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Yeah, they do bring it up. She's mentioned in an Odd Couple episode by Jack Carter. That's right. Yeah, which is pretty obscure. I heard that, well, like, Chico Marx's daughter, Maxine, wanted to be an actress at one point, and she took lessons from Maria Ouspenskaya. Ah, that's right. She took lessons from Maria Ospenskaya.
Starting point is 00:37:04 That's right. And one time, and I wish there had been at least a snapshot of this, Chico invited her out to dinner. And it was Chico Marx and Maria Ospenskaya. He would fuck anything. You know. Even, you know, Sophie Tucker. That's right. That's something I could draw. Yeah, Chico. That's right. That's something I could draw, right? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Them and Beth together, but... Hey, Maria. Oh, boy, that's hot. If Chico's daughter started doing the Italian accent, her career might have taken off a little, you know? She looked like Chico. Yeah, she did. She used to, hey, boss.
Starting point is 00:37:43 What's the matter? If she adapted her father's mannerisms, she might have gone far, but she resisted that. I don't know why. I'm going to attempt a segue here. Speaking of Jack Carter. You were in Playboy, weren't you? He was in the centerfold, yes. Little Annie Fanny.
Starting point is 00:37:57 The number 1963. I was in Playboy in this last month's issue, the January, February issue. Maybe that's what I was thinking. That was a beautiful, that was a great illustration by my friend Philip Burke. He drew you. And you had a beautiful comment about Shemp, which I shared on Facebook. The women screaming Shemp when they're reaching orgasm. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:38:16 It was beautiful. I loved it. Yeah, it was in the one with Kate Moss on the cover. January-February issue. Oh, I'm sorry. My subscription ran out. I wouldn't know. Why would you let your subscription run out
Starting point is 00:38:30 when you used to draw so much for Playboy as only Frank remembers? Jack Carter. Well, I was headed somewhere, but I don't remember. Jack Carter. To oblivion, if I have anything to say about it. I was going to ask you about some of the people you've drawn who haven't exactly appreciated.
Starting point is 00:38:51 I'll talk about one guy who I wasn't sure about at first. When I did the first book, Old Jewish Comedians, the publisher sent them out to some of the still living comedians. Plus it would be a waste of postage. No, I was all for sending them out to the dead ones. Drop drop them off at their gravesites.
Starting point is 00:39:08 So they sent them to, you know, so we sent it to Mickey Freeman and Freddie Roman. And they called me, actually, left messages on the phone. They loved it. They loved the book. So we sent one to Jerry Lewis, too, in Las Vegas. So Jerry calls, leaves a message. Hello, Drew Freeman, this is Jerry Lewis. Please call me message. Hello, Drew Friedman, this is Jerry Lee. Please call me back.
Starting point is 00:39:28 And he leaves his phone number twice. I say, oh shit. Jerry doesn't sound happy. What did I do? Is it because I didn't put him on the cover? I put Milton Berle on it? Because I gave him that stupid expression? So I got up my nerve. I say to Kathy, I say, alright, I'm going to call him back. And I call him back. I say, hi Jerry,
Starting point is 00:39:43 so you got the book? And he goes, yes, Drew, I got the book. I said, Kathy, I say, all right, I'm going to call him back. And I call him back. I say, hi, Jerry. So you got the book? And he goes, yes, Drew. I got the book. I said, well, what did you think? Jesus Christ, I loved it! Holy moly! What a book! So I was safe. But Jack Carter was not happy. Notice I went
Starting point is 00:40:00 negative first before the Jerry Lowe. A reporter from the LA Times called me and said, what do you think about being in a book called Old Jewish Comedians? He goes, he hadn't seen it. He goes, old? He was like, I think at the time he was 97. He was 97. And Jewish?
Starting point is 00:40:14 I don't work Jewish. And I was like, well, you happen to be Jewish. You don't work Jewish. I don't work Jewish. Yeah, because you never would have known Jack Carter was Jewish. How about comedian? You okay with the word comedian? And he goes, and then he finally saw the drawing and it got worse.
Starting point is 00:40:26 He goes, he drew me with those stupid liver spots. And he gave me, he combed my hair over like I'm going bald. He said, I want him to draw me again. I didn't talk to him. I said, no, no, tell him like one drawing per Jew, one drawing per customer. That was it. He wasn't happy. Said, Caesar, God rest his soul.
Starting point is 00:40:44 He wasn't happy either. Oh, wow God rest his soul. Yeah. He wasn't happy either. Oh, wow. Because I outed his real name. Kathy and I did research back in the, you know, when the interwebs were still early. Kathy, your lovely wife. That's right. And so his name on all the websites said Isaac Sidney Caesar.
Starting point is 00:40:59 So that's what we used in the book. Because the only text in the books are their real Jewish names, because every one of them changed their names except for one or two. Karl Reiner is really Karl Reiner. Manasseh Skolnick is really Manasseh Skolnick. Yeah, you wouldn't change it. And Myron Cohen is Myron Cohen. But all the
Starting point is 00:41:15 others wouldn't change it because they couldn't get work because they were Jews and, you know, so like, you know the story. So we kind of outed Don Knotts too. His real name is Archibald or so all the sites said at the time and he was offended so his agent called
Starting point is 00:41:29 said oh yeah Don is not happy about this called from Las Vegas said shit you know I'm sorry I love Don Rickles the last thing I wanted to do was offend him I said so we'll make a correction in the second book so we the correction is basically
Starting point is 00:41:41 Don Rickles says his name was not Archibald Cesar says claims his name was not because we're not so sure. It's possible they just don't want – they want their legacy to say Sid Caesar, Don Rickles like that. So some of them were pissed off. But most of them love the books and some of them will be here when we have the opening reception for this in two nights. You accidentally mentioned Don Knotts whose real name was jesse that's right and when he was dying uh andy griffith visited his hospital bed and said uh speak to me jesse speak because he thought by calling him jesse would would annoy him enough
Starting point is 00:42:22 he didn't want to be called Jesse. And he kept saying, come on, speak Jesse. Did that work? No. That killed him. Yeah, that finished him. He should have brought Jim Neighbors and Rock Hudson.
Starting point is 00:42:33 That would have gotten a jolt out of him. Surprise. I heard. What have you heard? Because I was just about to bring up Milton Berle's cock. So let's segue into that. You couldn't.
Starting point is 00:42:44 We're saving that. You don't have the strength. We're saving that one. And then we'll get to Danny Thomas. When they were doing Gomer Piles in the Marines. That's right. What was that? Gomer Piles?
Starting point is 00:42:55 He was in Vietnam, I think. Yes. Yes. But that was the show that was a spinoff. That's right. And he was a Marine. And they had I heard they had an actual Marine who was like like a technical advisor and a real tough as nails guy. And he would get really uncomfortable because Rock Hudson would visit gym neighbors on the set and they both would drink a little and get a little tired. Yeah, they'd be
Starting point is 00:43:27 prancing around and giggling and hugging each other. Did you attend the wedding? I've never met anybody. Were you at the wedding? Because I wasn't invited. I wish to God. I wasn't invited. Wally Cox was the best man.
Starting point is 00:43:44 The joke around that time was, after Rock Hudson died, was Rock Hudson had no friends, but he had neighbors up the ass. That's a beauty. I think Mark Twain. I believe it was. I think it was Robert Frost. It was Robert Frost. It was one of his final poems. I correct. Beautiful. I think it was Robert Frost. Soroyan. It was Robert Frost. It was one of his final poems.
Starting point is 00:44:06 I correct. Beautiful. That still brings a tear to my eye. Do you want to segue into Milton Berle? No. We have him right here on the cover of your book. That's right. I wanted to capture that angry Milton Berle.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Remember he used to go on Joe Franklin's show? Shut up, Joe. I'm talking. Oh, yes. Yes. And his cigar smoke was dribbling down his chin. And he would shut, you know, and Joe would be like, I'm sorry, Milton, sorry, Milton. You know, he'd just let him go, and he
Starting point is 00:44:29 was never funny, but I love Milton because you know, when he used to go on Howard Stern's show, Howard would only want to talk about his cock. Like, just, that's it, nothing else. And Milton, what's the matter with you, Howard? You know, he's like, you know, what would your mother say? There are other things we should talk about. So maybe, then occasionally Howard would bring us something up, you know, like something, you know, the old days. And Milton said, like, he's like, you know, what would your mother say? You know, other things we should talk about. So maybe then occasionally Howard would bring us something up, you know, like something, you know, the old days.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Milton said like he would get the conversation back to his cock instantly. It's like, you know, that's all he would, you know. Because I heard that Milton Berle once in Vegas had a competition with Tom Jones over who had the biggest cock. And after, after, after the Forrest Tucker competition. Oh yes. Yeah. He only took out enough to win. Yes. Right. And I heard like Milton Berle opened up his pants a little bit and Tom Jones just went, okay, okay. It's over. Yeah. I've met a few people who've seen it.
Starting point is 00:45:27 They said it was very, like, we know, Kathy and I know a young lady, a young lady who actually directed Milton Berle's last film and Adam Sandler's first film, Going Overboard. Do you remember that one? Oh, geez. It's like, you know, it's an interesting film, but Milton was in there. I think this stands out as being a bad Adam Sandler movie.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Yeah, such a thing as possible. It's the first in a series of bad Adam, right from the get-go. But she said, like, let me see it. Yes. She was the right. She said, all right, let me see it. He obliged her instantly. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:46:03 He set up a table. Set up a table. He said it was a process of getting it out she said it was multi-colored you know like you see a big piece of tongue in a delicatessen it hasn't been sliced up yet he just like plopped it down on the table with a big thud
Starting point is 00:46:21 and there it is she still has nightmares about it. And didn't he also walk around parties? Yeah, naked. Yeah, and he'd put a stick on like a serving platter and walk around. Who hasn't, right? Of course. Well, you expect that.
Starting point is 00:46:41 When he threw a party, you expect it. But he would walk around his dressing room naked in front of his writers, you know. This guy's trying to come up with material and there he was.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Irving Brecker had talked about that in the early 30s. Milton would open the door the first time he met him and there he was naked with the gigantic schlong. And he said,
Starting point is 00:46:59 yes, it's completely true. Everything you've ever heard. All true. All true. Not made up. Oh, we should get back to Aaron Fleming. Oh, okay. That was Scrooge's girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:47:12 It was his concubine. Yeah. His caretaker. And then, yeah, news started coming out about her. Yeah, little by little. Like, she, you know, maybe was a little rough on him. Slap him around, throw him down the stairs. Beat him over the head with baseball bats.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Little things like that. She was threatened to kill other members of his relatives. She got out of control. She wound up homeless, actually. Yeah, homeless, and she shot herself. I guess so, yeah. Yeah, yeah, she was homeless, and then she blew her brains out. She lost it, yeah, yeah, she lost it.
Starting point is 00:47:42 You could see it happening. Flemo, of course, as Michael O'Donoghue wrote about her. I mean, I think they did a report. And Flemo, you know, she was the sixth Marks brother. She was kind of a sad figure. We knew her when she was still, like, at her height. You know, she was inviting Ellie Gould over to the house all the time. Oh, and Bill Crosby.
Starting point is 00:47:59 And Sally Kellerman was always there. And, you know, she'd fill his house with young, hip celebrities. And, you know, so that's when we were invited. We didn't say anything weird or askew about her, you know. But little by little, you know, it started. Someday there's going to be a TV movie. Oh. Who's going to play old Groucho?
Starting point is 00:48:18 You would be perfect, I think. Because Groucho, why did your girlfriend, Erin Fleming, kill herself? Well, Chico needs the money. Groucho, why did Erin throw you down the stairs? Because Chico needs the money. Someday I predict there'll be a, it'll probably be a shitty film. But I'm predicting ahead of time. It'll be a TV movie of the week.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Another one of our favorites is... Kevin Spacey could play Old Grouch. Oh, yes. Bud and Lou. Well, of course. With Buddy Hackett and Harvey Korman. You listen to them do their bits. It's terrible.
Starting point is 00:49:00 It's slowed down when Buddy Hackett does Lou. Okay, I bet. He's like, you know, he's like, slows down the entire routines and all the timing is gone. Yeah, because it's like, in Who's on First? He would go, what's the guy's name on first base? And there he's going, Buddy Hackett's going, what is the guy's name on first base? It's like they've never seen the routine. Yes, yes. Harvey Korman looked nothing like Bud Abbott. He's true. It's like they've never seen the routine. Yes, yes. Harvey Korman looked nothing like Bud Abbott.
Starting point is 00:49:29 He sounded nothing. He was like, he tried to do a gravel voice at least, because, you know, he wanted an Emmy maybe. He was like, I remember Shecky Green going, wasn't Buddy Hacker great as Lucas Stuller? I remember on Tonight Show specifically saying, wasn't he great on it? Shouldn't he get an Emmy for that performance?
Starting point is 00:49:44 Johnny Carson looking at him like, huh? No, he sucked in that. And my fact. My old time favorite death scene is Buddy Hackett lying in a hospital bed. I wouldn't. And Artie Johnson, very interesting from laughing. Playing Eddie Sherman. Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:08 That's great. He's good in it. And he delivers, he brings him under his coat a strawberry malted. And he goes, you know, he takes a sip. And he goes, you know, Artie, I had a lot of strawberry malted in my day, but this one's the best. And he falls down dead. That's right. It was great.
Starting point is 00:50:31 When they tell him his son died, like, I'm sorry, Lou. Lou Jr. just died. My son, Lou Jr., just died. Get on with it. Get on with it. Yeah, he just died. He's dead. He drowned. My son, Lou Jr. He's like, it takes Get on with it. Yeah, he just died. He's dead. He drowned.
Starting point is 00:50:45 My son, Lou Junior, he's like, it takes like half an hour. I have to set up a foundation for Lou Junior. Louie Junior. He died. I'm a bad boy. Groucho, why did Lucas Della Jr. have to die? Because Chico needed the money. You mentioned Howard Stern a minute ago.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Tell us how Howard Stern became one of your biggest fans. Well, actually, Billy West, who was one of your recent guests, actually brought Howard one of our books, Warts and All. And then the next day, Howard, this was around 20 years ago or so, Howard was talking about it on the air, actually reading some of the dialect from, and since then, we kind of had a, you know, we kind of hit it off. I illustrated both of Howard's books, Miss America and Private Parts. And, you know, so he's been very supportive of me over the years. And, you know, he's mentioned
Starting point is 00:51:40 that I'm his favorite artist. I don't agree, but that's what he claims. I mean, I don't agree that I'm my favorite artist. But anyway, so, you know, so we go back. You know, we go way back. He's been very supportive. Terrific guy. And I like Jerry Lewis, too. You know, I have nothing bad to say about him. Which is, see, Jerry Lewis is one of those people, infamous.
Starting point is 00:52:02 I've just met him a handful of times, and he was always nice to me. And that's the classic line. Nice to me? Yeah. I met Kathleen Freeman. And I said, so what was Jerry Lewis I'd like to work with?
Starting point is 00:52:19 Because she worked with him in a lot of movies. And she said, well, he was always nice to me. He was always nice to me. He's always nice to me. I remember Gilbert doing the aristocrats joke in front of Jerry. I think that's what gave him the heart attack. He had a heart attack that afternoon at the Hilton Hotel. And when he grabbed his chest and went, hi!
Starting point is 00:52:40 It was a beautiful moment. It was a beautiful moment. How did the old Jewish comedian's book come about, the first one? And the series, the book series. Briefly, the editor of the books, Monty Beauchamp, my friend, was doing these series of books and said, Drew, do you want to do one? These square hardcovers.
Starting point is 00:53:00 You can do anything you want. And I said, well, the money isn't great, but what do I like drawing the most? I like drawing old Jews, and I like drawing comedians, so I combined that, old Jewish comedians, so that's what I came up with. We've done three books now, and now we're here at the Society of Illustrators, where
Starting point is 00:53:15 they're having the Old Jewish Comedian show with all the artwork is hanging, and the show's going to be on for two months through May, so hopefully everybody can come visit. Hopefully we'll have the podcast up soon enough for people to hear this. Hopefully we'll have a podcast for the phone show. Even if you hate Jews.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Don't assume anything. Even if you hate Jews, you're going to love this show. Even if you're Mel Gibson, you're going to love this show. I guarantee it. And, you know, it's like everybody, not everybody loves the Jews, but everybody loves old Jewish comedians. Let's talk about... Danny Thomas.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Okay. You know what? When they finally write the glass coffee table book about Danny Thomas, you know the title. Make Room for Duty? Exactly. Should that end it? Don't encourage him.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Now, we both knew Sid Melton. Well, yeah, of course. Yeah. You mean personally? No, I met him personally about three times. Yeah. He lived in Van Nuys. Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Yeah. In a pathetic apartment. Near where Joey Ross died. Oh, wow. Joey Ross died in Van Nuys. And I heard Joey Ross, before he died, grabbed his chest and went, ooh, ooh. That's likely. That's right. Joey Ross used to, you know, he married hookers.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yes. And then he would get offended that all his friends were fucking them. I can't believe this. So he'd keep divorcing and marry another one. And I heard that Nat Hyken hated Joey. Well, Joey smelled. That was like to begin with. Like Rosie Greer?
Starting point is 00:54:58 Yeah. And Imogen Coco, who was a distinguished actress, you know, from your show. And she had to work with him. And he was wearing a loincloth at that point. And it's about time. She couldn't stand them. Nobody liked them. And I heard.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Fred Gwynn put up with them. He liked them. I heard he thought he was like, he immediately thought he was a big Shakespearean actor and a major star. And, oh, I heard one time they had some people who were invited to the set, some women who were from some whatever religious group, and they passed by Joey Ross's dressing room. The door was open and he was there jerking off. What else would you expect? I don't know if he wore his top hat. Something else only I could draw.
Starting point is 00:55:44 I'm going to get right to work on that one. What was he jerking off to? What in particular? The thing with two heads. He was jerking off to pictures of Al Lewis. Schnauzer. Schnauzer.
Starting point is 00:55:59 I never heard that one, but that's a nice memory. I met Joey Ross at Cantor's when it used to be a hangout. When it was good. Oh, yes, yes. Before it was lousy. Yes, yes. And I remember I had just done a pilot,
Starting point is 00:56:18 and I was there with the other guy who worked on the pilot, and we met Joey Ross and we told him, with the other guy who worked on the pilot. And we met Joey Ross and we told him. And Joey Ross said, I just hope you guys have the luck that I did. I did three pilots and they all became
Starting point is 00:56:34 series. That was great. He was amazing. I think they want to close. The society? Yeah. No, they put it for sale. I think it's closing. Everybody's hungry. It's only midnight.
Starting point is 00:56:55 What have we left out? They're showing new tenants the building. What have we left out? Before we run, can I ask you, you were kind enough to give me a copy of Skidoo for my birthday. Oh, my gosh. Could you briefly share give me a copy of Skidoo for my birthday. Oh, my God. Could you briefly share your passion for the movie Skidoo? Well, you know, Skidoo is one of those films where they give it to a guy who's never made a comedy in his life, with no sense of humor, Otto Preminger, who also shared Danny Thomas' passion for glass coffee tables, by the way.
Starting point is 00:57:23 I didn't know that. We'll talk about that over dinner. So what does Hollywood do in 1960? They give him a movie to do. A comedy movie. All-star comedy movie, too.
Starting point is 00:57:33 It's possibly the worst film. Worst comedy ever made. Possibly the worst film ever made. With the greatest cast. Jackie Gleason. Carol Channing, who does the striptease in it.
Starting point is 00:57:42 It's disturbing. It's hard to watch. Frankie Avalon. Groucho. Groucho Marx is like, you know, why did you appear in that film, Groucho? He plays God. Chico needed the money. Even though Chico had been dead for 10 years,
Starting point is 00:57:58 he still needed the money for his maintenance of his gravesite. But it's fascinating to watch as Jackie Gleason is angry throughout the whole film. How did I get in this? Doesn't he drop acid in the picture? With Austin Pendleton. Groucho's name is LSD. He's God now. Oh, he's God. Dick Shawn is LSD in the producer.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Oh, okay. He's God in that. It's terrible. Not a laugh to be had, but it's fascinating just the same. And it's Hollywood showing they didn't understand the whole hippie youth movement. Proving it. Yeah. We've got to be part of this. But it's like giving Stanley Kramer, another guy who never made a comedy,
Starting point is 00:58:38 who actually made a funny one, so that was the thinking. Like, anybody can direct a comedy. So they gave it one to Otto Preminger. Hardly ever made a good movie, let alone a comedy movie. Laura was his one classic. Anatomy of a Murder. He was all of a sudden a comedy director. It's fascinating to watch.
Starting point is 00:58:57 It's a good dude. I heard that John Philip Law. He's a hippie. He was offered the part of Joe Buck in Midnight Cowboy and he turned it down because he figured hey what I'm going to play a homosexual
Starting point is 00:59:14 hustler out in the street when I could be doing a classic comedy with Groucho Marx and Jackie Gleason you know why he didn't take that film? because he didn't want to get a blowjob from Bob Balaban. When he read that, when his agent said,
Starting point is 00:59:29 well, look, you know, we got Bob Balaban, you know, on 40 seconds, he's going to get, you know, going to blow you. He said, hey, you know, do I need this? But then they asked John Philip Law, why'd you take Skidoo? He said, because you're going to loseoo? And he said, because Chico knew the moment. Thank you, Drew.
Starting point is 00:59:49 My pleasure. Is this show going to be cancelled? Yes. Thank you. It's never happened, so it won't be a shock when it's cancelled. Next time we'll go further. We're here at the Society of Illustrators on 63rd between Park and Lex. Here with famous illustrator and cartoonist Drew Friedman.
Starting point is 01:00:16 I'm Gilbert Gottfried. Here with my co-host Frank Santropadre. And this has been the Amazing Colossal Podcast.

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