Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 13. Drew Friedman
Episode Date: August 25, 2014To kick off the launch of his new book, "Heroes of the Comics," Gilbert and Frank are joined by their favorite illustrator, the incomparable DREW FRIEDMAN. While sitting and admiring Drew's work adorn...ing the walls of Manhattan's Society of Illustrators, we managed to cover everything from Drew and Gilbert's days at "National Lampoon" to Gilbert's Lon Chaney, Jr. obsession to the time a 15-year-old Drew paid a visit to the home of the legendary Groucho Marx. ALSO: why Drew is Howard Stern's favorite artist..."The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant"...Jerry Lewis kvells over Drew's portrait...and the triumphant return of Milton Berle's schlong! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried.
You're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.
Today, we're talking to one of the greatest illustrators and cartoonists of our time.
His work has appeared in the New York Times, Newsweek, Esquire, Rolling Stone, Time, National Lampoon, and the Wall Street Journal, just to name a few. So today, Frank Santopadre and myself sat down with Drew Friedman
at New York City Society of Illustrators. The name of his brand new book is Heroes of the Comics,
featuring 85 portraits of the legends of comic books published by Fantagraphics Books.
So now we talk to Drew Friedman.
Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and this is
the Amazing Colossal Podcast.
We're here.
Today we're taping at the Society of Illustrators on 63rd between Park and Lex,
where they're currently having a whole gallery of the work of Drew Friedman.
And if you don't know that name, you'd recognize his
drawings from, like,
National Lampoon, where I met him,
and the New Yorker,
and I think every other magazine.
Playboy, yeah. Everywhere else.
So, was I
in Playboy? I don't remember. You weren't in Playboy?
No. No. No. See, I told Frank
never to talk during
this show. I begged him. You were never in Playboy? No, I was no. See, I told Frank never to talk during this show.
I begged him.
You were never in Playboy?
No, I was never in Playboy. See, you're killing the show.
Frank, shut up.
I've read Playboy.
My dad was in Playboy.
You don't know anything about my guests.
What do you know?
Please, please shut up, Frank.
He has to mention Playboy.
You've never been in it.
No, I've never been.
Entertainment Weekly.
Yes, there you go. There you go. We mix them up. You've never been in it. No, I've never been. Entertainment Weekly. Yes, there you go.
There we go.
We mix them up.
You were in Highlight.
Highlight, yes.
I only went to the Dennis to read Highlight.
Yes.
It's the only reason.
Now, we did meet, I'm pretty sure, at National Lampoon.
We did.
We kind of found each other there because we both loved Lon Chaney Jr.
Yes.
And Lionel Atwell and George Zucco.
So we had that in common, especially Tor Johnson.
Oh, yeah.
So we clicked.
And I remember I used to write articles at the time.
And for National Lampoon.
This is when National Lampoon was no longer funny.
This is the 80s. It was no longer funny. This is the 80s.
It was no longer funny.
So that's when we joined.
It's kind of like my season of Saturday Night Live.
It's when the show stopped being funny.
That's right.
Belushi had left.
Chevy Chase had left.
You had Joe Piscopo.
Yeah.
So I bring in the-
Charlie Rocket.
Charlie Rocket, right?
What happened to him?
Oh, I could tell you.
He says, fuck, and the career is over.
Over and out.
Over and out.
But we loved him.
I remember him fondly.
Not a Jew.
Charlie's no longer with us.
I know that.
God bless his soul.
That's what you're supposed to say, right?
God bless his soul. That's what you're supposed to say, right? God bless his soul.
Fuck him.
But he's not a Jew and he's not hanging on the wall.
And do you remember what I nicknamed you at Lion Poop?
Well, I know you're lying whenever we run into each other.
To this day, Jew dots, Jew dots.
Of course, I haven't drawn with dots for 20 years.
It doesn't matter. I don't renew my dots for 20 years. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
I don't renew my material.
It's an affectionate...
If you know anything about me...
That's for sure.
I've been doing the same act since I was 12.
It's a tradition with us.
Jew dots.
Yeah, you would come in with your head down,
and I'd follow you around and start screaming,
Jew dots!
Everyone bow down to Jew dots!
That's right, that's right.
Because you would shade with millions of tiny dots.
That's right, obsessive dots.
And I'm tapping on a table like, please.
That's right.
Remember that Gilbert used to come over to my apartment on 6th Street, you know, the block with all the 400 Indian restaurants.
Oh, yes, yes.
I'd be working on a deadline, and Gilbert would knock on the door, so I'd let him in.
So what do you want?
He said, I want to watch Plan 9 from Outer Space.
I actually had a VHS recorder.
Gilbert just got one last year.
So I put that on, or the Black Sleeper, you know, the old shitty.
I just got a Betamax.
Doesn't that work like a charm? I love it. I'm't know, the Black Sleep or, you know, the old shitty. I just got a Betamax. Doesn't that work like a charm?
Yeah.
I love it.
I'm into Beta, too.
But we would sit there in silence and watch these movies together.
Beast of Yucca Flats.
Well, that, too.
Anything with Tor Jones.
What I remember, too, is when I was a kid, they would have, like, reruns of Route 66 every day at a certain time.
And I always knew there was this one episode called, I think, Owlet's Wing and Lizard's Tail.
That's it.
And that had Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr. and Peter Lorre.
Right.
And I would check the tv uh section every day the one day i don't check it
i realized that one aired that's right and it i think i missed that too but we used to see the
photographs and famous monsters oh yeah lon chaney had lousy werewolf makeup on oh horace
carl if they just stuck a thing on his head the worst the worst and peter laurie peter laurie
didn't have to wear any makeup anyway. That was what was so ridiculous.
Very weak.
At the end, they're supposed to come out
as their classic characters.
So Boris Karloff's in Frankenstein makeup,
Lon Chaney Jr.'s in Wolfman makeup,
and Peter Lorre's wearing a top hat.
That's right.
Not Mr. Moto?
No, not Mr. Moto.
He should have.
In theory, it sounded great. But when you actually watched it, it was one of those things.
This stinks.
It was terrible.
Oh, it was awful.
That's right.
I thought, how could it be bad with those three?
George Maharis was better in that.
It was a big disappointment, but it didn't live up.
Now, here's always the test.
Can you name the person who was caught in the men's room with George Maharis?
Oh, that guy?
Tom Leopold would know.
I know it.
I don't know his name.
Oh, I'm ashamed.
And I'm ashamed.
I do know who played in The Amazing Colossal Man.
That was Glenn Langdon.
Oh, very good.
Gilbert had asked me about that earlier, and I didn't Google it.
It just came to me.
Anyway, the guy in the men's room was Perfecto Telles.
That's right, that's right.
A guy who could only, when you have a name like that.
Can you get him for this show?
That's hard to get.
That's a great story.
He's the only person I can get for this show.
I think you should track him down and get him, because
that's an amazing story, which we can't
tell on this show.
It was very
disappointing.
Perfecto
Tellez. I heard Leopold mention
that name. That's right. I think he wrote a book.
Didn't he write a book like Lance Renssel wrote a book?
I believe he did. He wrote his
book, too. Lance Renssel was, of course,
Joey Hetherton's husband, who, like,
can I, well, like Woody Allen
was into children.
I'm going there.
I'm going there. Wow. Someone asked me about
Woody Allen. Drew, do you believe it? I said, I don't know.
I wasn't there. But to me, the worst crime
is these shitty movies he's made for the last
20 years.
That offends me.
I think the first horror movie that I remember seeing as a little boy
was The Indestructible Man.
Right, we've discussed that.
Lon Chaney Jr., Joe Flynn from McHale's Navy.
Wow.
And I think it was Robert Shane.
And Casey Adams.
Oh, Casey Adams, who was also known as Max Showalter.
Remember him, Frank?
That's right.
I remember Robert Shane from Superman.
Yes.
Inspector Henderson.
But Casey Adams, and he was also known as Max Showalter,
was also in 16 Candles with Molly Ringwald.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
And he was in the Twilight Zone episode with Billy Mummy,
where he sends everybody out into the corner.
Oh, wow.
He's in there.
Oh, I know who he is.
Yeah, yeah.
I know who he is now.
He had those real crazy eyes.
He was serious, and then he went comedic.
I know who he is.
And then he went back to comedic.
That's when you said that.
Yeah.
Or back to serious.
Yeah.
Casey Adam.
But we used to watch that.
We used to talk about that
because Lon Chaney
had those baggy eyes
at that point.
Oh, yeah.
They used to show
close-ups of his eyes
in the movie.
Gilbert and I watched that
on Chilla Theater
when we were kids.
Yeah.
Because they show it
every other week,
practically.
And they're playing
like dramatic music
on his eyes
like it's supposed to.
And the scary thing
is he's got
a drunk's eyes.
That's right. Very baggy and red. It was black and
white back in those days.
You could see the red in the black and white.
The theater showed about, they rotated
about six different movies.
You know it was going to come up once a month.
It was that and the giant behemoth
and the black sleep and then back
to indestructible man.
And the black sleep was and then back to Indestructible Man. And the black sleep was a big disappointment,
because that was Lon Chaney Jr., John Carradine,
Tor Johnson.
And Basil Rathbone.
And it's like the parts with the main,
and Bela Lugosi, who's not talking.
His official last film.
Plan 9, he kind of walked around in front of Tor Johnson's house.
And then The Graveyard.
But Black Sleep was his official last film.
Is that the one you emailed me the photographs from?
I'm sure I did.
They're having lunch in the cafe.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Life Magazine sent photographers there.
They never ran the photographs, but they took hundreds of photographs at a restaurant in Hollywood in 1956 when they wrapped the film.
And they were all in costume.
So Tor Johnson comes in with his undershirt on,
shaved head, and he was there to eat.
They were all hungry.
It was an amazing photograph.
Life magazine.
They are wonderful pictures.
They never released them.
They never showed them in a magazine,
but years later, that's why the interwebs are nice sometimes.
Sometimes they work.
And I heard they used to try to eat in a commissary,
and everyone's complaining about how disturbing they looked.
Well, yeah, those guys and the woman with the hair popping out of her face.
The guy with the half his face, George Chiquita.
Oh, yes.
He had this amazing cast.
He had a sailor's outfit.
That's right.
I don't know why that was so scary. It had this amazing cast. He had a sailor's outfit. That's right. That's right.
I don't know why that was so scary. I forget who the writer was, but they flash back to Tor Johnson before he becomes a mongoloid idiot.
And he's like a professor.
He's wearing a monocle.
That's right.
It's like, here, the poor professor from Russia.
And like, look at him now.
Like a monocle.
Well, he must be smart.
Because how else could you wear a monocle?
That's right.
He was always an intellectual at the beginning.
And then he becomes a mongoloid idiot.
Like anyone could possibly believe.
A police chief in Plan 9 from Outer Space, of course.
Professor Clay.
A police chief who can't walk three feet without getting winded.
He pulls out his pistol and that's it.
But he had his most dialogue in that film.
A soliloquy, basically.
Oh, yeah, and Lon Chaney Jr. plays Mongo.
And it's supposed to be that originally he was also a brilliant professor named Dr. Monroe.
That's right.
But because now he's a monster, they can't call him Dr. Monroe. That's right. But because now he's a monster,
they can't call him Dr. Monroe.
They have to give him a monster name.
He was Mongo or Lobo.
You know, he went back and forth.
He usually was Lobo,
no matter what movie he was in.
Like if a guy's name was Jack Jones,
they couldn't call him Jack Jones if he's a monster.
So it would be like JoJo.
My favorite Tor Johnson moment is when he was on You Bet Your Life with Groucho Mane.
Oh, my God, yes.
It was 1960.
He was plugging a film that never even came out.
Night of the Ghouls, I think it was called.
But they had beautiful chemistry together.
Your name is Tor Johnson, and're United of the ghouls
Tor was frustrated
And then he got into it
They could have taken the act
On the road
Did he know that Groucho Marx was a comedian?
He had no clue
He was there for the money I think
And he didn't get a single question right
Did Fenneman treat him well?
Greek mythology was his category.
I don't know how he picked that.
He stood there in silence.
You look at him and you say, oh, this guy
knows Greek mythology.
Somehow that was his category.
He didn't get one right and he left with nothing.
It was one of the great moments.
So Gilbert would come to your apartment to watch,
and you would put these movies on for him on VHS.
I'd put them, we'd sit there in silence and watch them.
It was the first time I saw that episode of Route 66.
That's right, I played it for him.
And it was a bad copy.
It was all like static.
Yeah, everything was bad then.
It's all you had.
Yeah, yeah.
But it was...
It was a bad copy of a bad show.
Then I finally got a clean copy, and it was just god awful.
Even worse.
That's right.
But, you know, that was one of two times Lon Chaney was on Route 66, if you remember.
Because he also played George Maharis' father.
Do I remember?
In an episode.
How could I forget?
Who are you talking to?
Who are you talking to?
Do I remember?
And who was also on that, and they didn't have a scene together, like idiots, they didn't put them together,
was Betty Fields, who starred with Lon Chaney in Of Mice and Men.
Wow, I didn't know that.
And they did no scenes together, which was idiotic.
What were they thinking?
Betty Fields?
No, I didn't know that.
I forgot that.
I did not know that.
I did not know that.
Betty Fields? No, I didn't know that. I forgot that. I did not know that. I did not know that. Betty Fields.
And what would happen when you told Gilbert that he had to leave?
Because you had to work.
You had a deadline.
I was a fan of Gilbert.
You know, he was a comedian.
I said, Gilbert, I have to, you know.
After a couple hours, like Gilbert lived about a block from me.
I was on 6th Street.
I lived on Avenue A. Gilbert was on 6th Street. I lived on Avenue A.
Gilbert was on Avenue A.
So I sent him home.
And, you know, and we put on the parka.
He'd come back next week.
It was beautiful.
I sent him home to his mom, and he'd come back next week.
I was basically like Kramer.
That's right.
You show up.
You were my Norton.
Yes.
Get out.
Get out.
And he'd come back. And all was forgiven. But were my Norton. Yes. Get out. Get out. And then he'd come back.
And always forgiven.
But we had, those were happy times.
We had lots of fun.
Oh, boy.
Now, and I remember that you also used to show Boris Karloff in The Haunted Strangler.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, it was like a bad...
Late 50s Boris Karloff.
Oh, yes.
Real bad.
The Manster?
No, that wasn't...
Oh, The Manster I liked.
We loved The Manster.
Remember that, Frank?
We loved that.
Yeah, it was a two-headed...
It was a joint production of America and Japan.
Right.
He's a two-headed guy.
He's got another little manster growing inside his body.
And when they finally split apart, there's a tree between them.
Yes!
And then all of a sudden they come apart.
I thought it was amazing when I was a kid.
And later on I figured out they were just saving money on specials.
There's a tree between them, and he splits off.
And I'm going, wait, wait a second.
If two bodies split apart from one body,
how come his clothes are covering him on both bodies?
And the master, the other little guy,
is a Japanese guy in makeup.
I think that's Glenn Langdon, too.
It was like a blonde-haired guy who played the poor master.
But there was one great scene where he gets affected by radiation or whatever the hell,
and he's looking the bathroom mirror, pulls down his shirt, and on the back of his shoulder is an eye.
A little eyeball.
Yeah.
It's disturbing.
Have you showed that to your son yet?
No.
You're saving that?
Save that for him.
It's like a cousin of the incredible two-headed transplant. Basically. You're saving that? Save that for him. That was a tree. A cousin of the
incredible two-headed transplant?
Basically.
It was an early version of that.
With Ray Moland.
Before they found Rosie...
Yeah, yeah.
It was the beginning
of that genre of film.
Two-headed...
And all I could think about
watching that one was
how bad Rosie Greer
must have smelled
like in the...
It's possible
Ray Mullane didn't smell so great either.
That's true too. Just because he was a
football player. And big and fat.
Rosie Greer went from protecting
Robert Kennedy from getting killed.
He did a great job
co-starring. And the two had a transplant.
And he was knitting at the same
time too. So he would
have to go to job interviews and go, what was your last job?
Well, I was protecting the life of Senator Kennedy.
Of Senator Kennedy.
Oh, you're hired.
Yeah.
Nice job.
That went well.
That's got him hired on the incredible two-headed.
Before we go completely off track here.
Oh, but wait, wait.
One segue.
Wasn't he lurch protecting JFK in Dallas today?
Ted Cassidy?
Ted Cassidy.
I know he was on the grassy knoll.
I think that was.
Woody Harrelson's father was there.
He was a newspaper.
That was Cousin It.
That's right.
Was protecting John Kennedy.
And I remember in the two-headed transplant, Ray Moland is there with his head over Rosie Greer's shoulder.
That was a good scene.
That was the special effect.
And they run.
They do a lot of running.
Oh, yes.
And when they're running, it's Rosie Greer running and this little balloon with a smiley face on it bouncing around.
Ray Millan was an Oscar winner, you know, for Lost Weekend. And here he is with Rosie Greer.
And there's one part where he takes over control of the mind while Rosie Greer is asleep.
And he makes Rosie Greer punch himself in the face
and knock himself out.
Beautiful.
It was sort of a brotherhood story.
Wasn't it supposed to be like the Defiant Ones
as a lot of these twins?
And then there was the other one.
With Bruce Dern.
Bruce Dern, yes.
That's right, that's right.
But he was the man.
That was one of those films that famous monsters
would showcase it,
and it looked like it was going to be great.
Sort of like Dracula vs. Frankenstein with Vizandor Vorkov.
Oh, my God, yes.
And then you'd see it, and it was the worst piece of shit.
I was like, what are they thinking?
Who's paying these guys off?
Oh, Frankenstein vs. Dracula.
And that's Lon Chaney's last film.
And J. Carol Nash.
And J. Carol Nash's film.
And I heard that.
And Russ Tamblyn was in it.
Oh, yes, yes, from from west side story and strippers
were in there and anthony ashley i think is in there and and i i heard at one time uh lon chaney
was sitting in the room with uh jay carol nash and he said oh well Jay, I guess we're both going to be dead soon.
And Jay Carroll and I said, shut up, Lon.
But he was right.
I think they both died shortly after.
It's true.
That was that last.
Gilbert, you used to talk about return from the past with Lon Chaney.
Oh, my God, yes.
He played a doctor, a scientist.
Yeah, brilliant doctor.
And all he did was talk about his theories.
I have a theory.
I have a theory.
You never figured out what his theory was, but that was all his – I have a theory.
He was supposed to be a Scottish doctor, which he's very convincing as a Scottish doctor.
That film is great because you watch that, and John Carradine is the host.
Oh, my God.
And he's holding a cigarette throughout the whole film as he's hosting in his hand.
He can't even bother to put it down because he knows what shit he's filming.
He won't even bother to put the cigarette down.
I think they're paying him $100 and they fed him.
And it's a piece of shit.
But, you know, Gilbert and I used to discuss that film.
The fact that he even put his pants on.
That's right.
They pay him. He's like Henny Youngman. They pay him. He's like Henny Youngman.
They pay him. He's a Henny Youngman
of horror actors. You're going to
pay me? I'll come.
And he was. He's a Scottish doctor in
the 1800s. That's right.
And Rochelle Hudson was in that too.
She was once a star.
There's one scene
and it takes place in the
1800s.
It was like Dark Shadows.
There were flashbacks.
And Lon Chaney's wearing a wristwatch.
Ah, yeah.
Through the whole movie. It's like Jerry Lewis in The Day the Clown Cried.
He's got his wristwatch.
He's got his pinky ring, and he's got his black shiny shoes on.
Aside from that, yes, he's in Auschwitz.
And he's got a pomade in his hair.
That's right.
So because we're here at the Society of Illustrators.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I just remembered.
I'm never going to get to this.
When he finally brings.
One more point.
One more point.
When Cheney brings the guy to life, the dead body.
He walks off just to have a scene where like, I I guess for the dead guy to kill the other two students.
And he walks off for no reason.
I think for a phone call.
Or get a drink.
In the 1800s.
He's getting a drink.
And he goes off.
And then when they go back to Chaney, he's, like, there supposedly just making looks like he's excited about his discovery.
Yeah, his theory.
My theory.
His theory.
You never hear what his theory is.
Oh, my theory.
I have a theory.
They wouldn't even bother to come up with how they brought a dead guy.
Oh, my theory will bring dead people to life.
That's right.
I think one dead guy does pop up off the table.
Yes, and he kills.
And he looks confused.
What am I doing in this club?
Like Doodle's Weaver, I think he looks like.
Yeah, what am I doing?
And then he strangles Don Chaney, and that's the end.
Doodle's Weaver, who killed himself.
That's right.
Indeed he did.
It's very sad.
But then if you're Doodle's Weaver, you'd have to kill yourself.
There's no other.
Uncle, Sigourney's Uncle Doodle.
Yes.
That's right.
That we were his brother.
That's right.
That we were his brother.
Is that why he killed him?
My brother's a CBS, the president of CBS, NBC, and I'm a comedian.
Yes.
But I'll take doodles Weaver any day.
Tell us about meeting Groucho when you were a kid.
Well, my dad actually knew Aaron Fleming,
who was Groucho's girlfriend in the 60s.
And they knew each other,
so we were out in Los Angeles in 1974 vacationing,
my dad and my brothers.
So she called my dad and said,
Groucho loves kids.
Could you come visit?
So he mentioned that.
Sure, we'd love that.
So we went to his house. Groucho answered the door. He came up to us. And the first thing he said was,
it's a pleasure to meet you and your three lovely daughters.
Our hair was a little long. And, you know, so it was an amazing, amazing afternoon with Groucho.
He sang his songs with Aaron Fleming. At one point, my brother Josh asked, Groucho,
we used to live in Great Neck, Long Island.
There was a theater there called The Playhouse. In the back,
they had an old organ. It used to be a Vaudeville theater.
Do you remember it? And Groucho said,
I got an old organ myself.
Everything was a straight line
and everything was like...
He couldn't actually have a conversation with the man.
Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys
walked in. Groucho never... he didn't know who he was.
He goes to Groucho, he says, Mr. Marks, it's an honor to meet you.
And Groucho looks up at him, he goes, it ought to be.
And it went on and on like that.
But that was like, you know, I was 15 at the time, so that was pretty amazing.
We didn't take any photographs, which I don't know why, but there we are.
And I heard that then you got an invitation to come back.
Yes.
Actually, my dad, after the next day, Aaron Fleming again,
the notorious Aaron Fleming, but, you know, this was before we knew about her.
She was beating him up and slapping him around.
Oh, yeah.
She calls back my dad and says, like, Groucho had such a great time.
He'd like to invite you back next week,
and our special guest in the house is going to be Mae West.
They haven't seen each other in 35 years since they were at Paramount together.
So my dad says to my brothers and I, Groucho's invited us back.
Mae West is going to be his guest.
And we kind of look at each other and go, eh, we had enough Groucho.
So to this day, I regret that.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this.
Tell the audience who you're the, our listener, who your dad was.
Well, my dad's a writer named Bruce J. Friedman.
Still is, I mean.
Yeah, he still is.
He's a writer.
He's written for movies.
Well, you could kill him now and then he would have been Bruce J. Friedman.
He still is and he's still active.
But he's written a lot of movies.
He's written some movies like Splash and Stir Crazy and plays like Steam Beth.
And he wrote Heartbreak Kid, the movie Heartbreak Kid.
It became the Neil Simon film.
Steam Beth, where Valerie Perrine is naked.
I know that.
That's all you remember.
Yes.
Right past Bill Bixby. Right past the actual plot. And Bill Bixby was know that. That's all you remember. Yes. Right past Bill Bixby.
Right past the actual plot.
And Bill Bixby was in it.
That's right.
Well, that was the TV version a little later.
Yeah.
Art Matrana was in there.
And he had a small part.
And Herb Edelman, quite a cast.
Oh, yes, yes.
And Kenneth Mars.
And so, yeah, that was on TV with Bill Bixby.
And I chose Bill Bixby for the part because at, what do you call it?
The public TV,
WNET,
they proposed three actors to my dad.
Dennis Weaver,
James Franciscus,
or Bill Bixby.
This was like in 1972.
So my dad didn't know who any of them were.
He didn't really watch TV.
So he came to me.
He said,
Drew, who should I pick?
I said,
Bixby's your man.
And I based that on Bixby's performance in Court Ship of Eddie's Father.
Yes.
Where he was very good in that with Brandon DeWild.
And he was really good in Steambass.
He was.
Yeah, he was good.
It was a good production.
And Bill Bixby, you know.
And you could see Valerie Pryne naked.
That's right.
That's what everybody seems to remember.
But there was more to it than that.
I'm going to correct you because I got Playboy Magazine wrong.
Brandon Cruz instead of Brandon DeWild.
You are right.
Have I redeemed myself?
Who's Brandon DeWild?
I'm thinking.
No, no.
Shane.
From Shane.
You keep bringing up Playboy.
And it's your biggest disaster on the show.
I'm going to get him working Playboy yet.
Brandon Cruz, who was, I think, dated Jodie Foster, didn't they?
They were together in courtship of Eddie's father.
And then he became a punk singer, didn't he?
I believe so.
You should get him for the show.
He's got all those Mrs. Livingston stories.
Didn't he become an animator who worked on South Park?
Quite possible, yeah.
I believe so.
But he was good on that show, too.
Oh, here.
Speaking of Groucho, do you remember, well, you definitely remember this,
the story of mankind?
Of course.
That was an Irwin Allen production.
And he got Harpo and Chico.
But not together.
Harpo, Chico, and Groucho all separately.
Yeah, not all separately.
Hey, yeah.
You get the Marx Brothers.
Yeah.
It's the Marx Brothers, but let's have them all work separately
because that's where their strength is.
They pretty much work separately in Love, Happy, too.
Oh, yes, yes.
Well, Groucho was busy with Marilyn Monroe in that one, at least.
But I think Groucho, he's that guy who discovers Manhattan Island in that one.
Oh, yes.
And one of his ex-wives is like an Indian girl.
Yeah, she doesn't wear pants.
And Harpo, she has a little skirt on.
Yeah.
I think that's why he took the part.
Oh, yeah.
Because his wife could get work.
I think Harpo plays, he plays Isaac Newton.
Oh, yes.
And then Appa falls on his knees.
He doesn't speak.
And Chico is like, was there because, as always, he was broke.
He needed the money.
He was a gambler.
All right.
Chico needed the money.
Yeah.
That was always his excuse.
Everything Groucho did after 1940.
Well, you know,
Chico needed the money.
And then they asked me
to do it
because Chico was in it.
I was like,
Chico needed the money.
That was his excuse.
Why did you appear
in this piece of shit, Groucho?
Oh, Chico needed the money.
All right, well, you know, we'll give you a free ride then.
Why did you kill that woman and her child?
Chico needed the money.
Yes, Chico was a gambler, and he lost money on a horse.
So I killed him.
Why did you kill Sharon Tate?
Well, Chico needed the money.
Let's talk about something really unusual.
Why did you start?
Why did you perpetuate the Holocaust?
You won't stop him.
Well, Chico needed the money.
Why did you kill JFK, Groucho?
Well, Chico needed the money.
You killed Martin Luther King.
Well, Chaconne needed the money.
Here, Drew, you want to read the questions?
What's the question?
I heard...
Let's go on.
Groucho, why did you bomb the World Trade Center?
Chaconne needed the money.
trade Santa.
Chick-o-needle. Chick-o-needle.
Why did you supply
Philip Seymour Hoffman
with heroin?
Well, chick-o-needle.
You're off the hook.
Wow.
Let me go completely off the reservation here and ask you about your artwork.
Okay.
You draw?
He does.
Well, look around us.
We're here at the Society of Illustrators.
We're celebrating old Jewish comedians right here.
And why are you doing this?
Because you're a comedian.
That's right.
Why are you doing this?
Because you're a comedy writer.
That's right.
When did you know your dad was obviously a comedy writer and you grew up in a funny house?
When did you know that you were going to draw as opposed to write?
I actually, you know, I'll veer off for a second.
It was like I was a weird little kid.
Yeah, because it was really going on a straight line, Zach.
I've been telling you.
I'll veer off a chicken.
Okay, I'll see
If we can get back
But I was like
I was a strange little kid
You know maybe
Not to you guys
Because you know
We share similar
But you know
When I was a little kid
I didn't want to go to school
I didn't want to go to camp
I didn't want to go out and play
I just wanted to sit in my room
With my guinea pig
And read Mad Magazine
And comic books
And Famous Monsters
Me exactly
And watch Soupy Sales Still that. And watch Soupy Sales.
Still that way.
Watch Soupy Sales and watch the Three Stooges.
Yeah, and the Bowery Boys and Adventures of Superman.
That's all I wanted.
I resented I had to go to school.
I had to go to school.
Oh, yes.
But I'm still angry about that.
But I was just obsessed with Mad Magazine, mainly Mad.
I got my education from Dave Berg, basically.
He taught me everything I needed to know about life from the lighter side.
But anyway, like you guys, I was like, you know, just obsessed with comic books and Mad.
And that was like, you know, I didn't want to leave my room.
And, you know, it's still hard to get me out of my room, my office.
So I was drawing at an early age.
And I guess I showed some kind of weird talent for it.
And I stuck with it.
And here we are today.
talent for it and i stuck with it and here we are today you know i i remember when i was a kid that in elementary school the teacher was playing a game like i'm gonna say two initials and you
have to guess a famous person with that name and you know so they go al so oh abraham lincoln and Oh, Abraham Lincoln and stuff like that. And then she goes, OS.
And I very excitedly, I was like four at the time, I jump up and go, Onslow Stevens.
That would have been my natural reaction.
Yes.
And GS, Glenn Strange.
Onslow Stevens, like Descendants, wouldn't know that name.
You remember him, Frank.
You even lost me on that one.
He was the mad doctor in House of Dracula.
That's right.
I know who he is.
Who was going to cure the monsters of their ailments.
They couldn't get Boris Kaur for that one.
Did he have a monocle?
Well, he was under the quicksand from the first one.
They couldn't get Bela Lugosi, so they got John Carradine to play Dracula in that one.
But he was actually good.
He was good.
He was good, and I love Carradine.
He gave him a little mustache.
Yes.
And a top hat.
That's right.
And he was-
The dashing Dracula.
He was good, and I always loved Carradine, but you had to have Lugosi as Dracula.
You would think.
Yeah.
Abbott and Costello figured that out.
Yes.
After 20 years, you know, we should get him back as Dracula. He was pretty good in that. Yeah. Back would think. Abbott and Costello figured that out. Yes. After 20 years, you know we should get him back.
He was pretty good in that.
Back in 1930.
That's what started the
entire horror craze is
Lugosi as Dracula. Maybe he was good.
Let's not use him again as Dracula.
Let's wait 20 years
before we use him again. And in
Dracula's Daughter, they had
a paper mache Bela Lugosi lying in a coffin.
Right.
It was so, what an insult.
And an MGM brought him over for Mark of the Vampire, but he wasn't Dracula.
He was like, was that Alucard?
Oh, no, no.
Alucard.
Wasn't that the son of Dracula?
Yes.
Son of, you know, with Lon Chaney Jr.
And overweight, the son of Dracula.
Yes, very. Well, blood has overweight Son of Dragon. Yes, very.
Well, blood has a lot of calories.
That's right.
He was an overweight.
He had a big paunch when he was the mummy,
and he was at a paunch when he played Dragon.
He was like the fattest mummy.
Even with all the bandages on, you could see a potbelly.
He was a well-fed mummy.
Boris Karloff at least was emaciated.
Tom Tyler was kind of thin too.
Oh, yes.
But Trini was a fat mummy.
Do you remember that?
Yes.
And what does Universal do?
They use him five times in mummy films,
even though he had a big belly.
And a fat Dracula.
Right.
And they also gave him a mustache.
That's right.
As the mummy.
That's right.
And he still had that Oklahoma accent.
That's right.
He couldn't lose it.
To me, he sounds like Penn Jillette. If you listen to both
of them, it's very similar.
I love Penn,
but when I hear Penn talk,
I hear Lon Chaney Jr.
Yeah. I come from the hills
of Transylvania.
Okay.
That's right. But there, he was Alucard.
That's right.
And, but, yeah,
in Return of the Vampire,
it was always a name like Orkoff
or something like that.
Only the five.
I love, we love Lon Chaney Jr.,
but, you know, even in The Wolfman,
he's Claude Raine's son.
That just doesn't work.
Oh, yes, yes.
This distinguished British actor
who's a foot shorter than Lon Chaney. You know, we, you know, the other night we analyzed these things. Yeah, doesn't work. Oh, yes. This distinguished British actor who's a foot shorter than
Lon Chaney. You know,
we analyze these things. I see that.
I still love it, but it just wasn't working.
Claude Rains comes up to his knees.
Father,
father, I have something to
admit. I have a theory.
But my favorite
Claude Rains line
is in, because Cheney is talking about, does he believe in lycanthropy?
And he goes, well, there's certain forms of schizophrenia.
But a man actually taking the shape of a wolf?
I know.
It's fantastic.
That's fantastic.
That's right.
Thank you, Father. And Bela goes to see us. Bela. Yeah.
And Maria Oskbenskaya, of course, who we all
love. And you know, Maria
Oskbenskaya is one of like
the, she's known as
like one of the most famous acting
teachers. Way before
Lee Strasser. She invented the, you know, the
whole acting. Is it Stanislavski? Yeah, she
practically invented it. And then she's appearing
in Universal Horror.
And she must have felt like she was doing
porn to be doing
here. It was a come down,
I think. You know, it didn't quite work.
Her Hollywood career didn't quite work. But she's
well remembered, you know. I think
she's mentioned on Dick Van Dyke Show. They bring up
her name, don't they? One time. Maria Ouspenskaya? Yeah, they do bring it up. She's mentioned inremembered, you know. I think she's mentioned on Dick Van Dyke Show. They bring up her name, don't they? One time.
Maria Ouspenskaya.
Yeah, they do bring it up.
She's mentioned in an Odd Couple episode by Jack Carter.
That's right.
Yeah, which is pretty obscure.
I heard that, well, like, Chico Marx's daughter, Maxine, wanted to be an actress at one point,
and she took lessons from Maria Ouspenskaya.
Ah, that's right.
She took lessons from Maria Ospenskaya.
That's right.
And one time, and I wish there had been at least a snapshot of this, Chico invited her out to dinner.
And it was Chico Marx and Maria Ospenskaya. He would fuck anything.
You know.
Even, you know, Sophie Tucker.
That's right. That's something I could draw. Yeah, Chico. That's right.
That's something I could draw, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Them and Beth together, but...
Hey, Maria.
Oh, boy, that's hot.
If Chico's daughter started doing the Italian accent,
her career might have taken off a little, you know?
She looked like Chico.
Yeah, she did.
She used to, hey, boss.
What's the matter?
If she adapted her father's mannerisms, she might have gone far, but she resisted that.
I don't know why.
I'm going to attempt a segue here.
Speaking of Jack Carter.
You were in Playboy, weren't you?
He was in the centerfold, yes.
Little Annie Fanny.
The number 1963.
I was in Playboy in this last month's issue, the January, February issue.
Maybe that's what I was thinking.
That was a beautiful, that was a great illustration by my friend Philip Burke.
He drew you.
And you had a beautiful comment about Shemp, which I shared on Facebook.
The women screaming Shemp when they're reaching orgasm.
Yes, yes.
It was beautiful.
I loved it.
Yeah, it was in the one with Kate Moss on the cover.
January-February issue.
Oh, I'm sorry.
My subscription ran out.
I wouldn't know.
Why would you let your subscription run out
when you used to draw so much for Playboy
as only Frank remembers?
Jack Carter.
Well, I was headed somewhere, but I don't remember.
Jack Carter.
To oblivion, if I have anything to say about it.
I was going to ask you about some of the people you've drawn
who haven't exactly appreciated.
I'll talk
about one guy who I wasn't sure
about at first. When I did the first book,
Old Jewish Comedians, the publisher sent them out
to some of the still living comedians.
Plus it would be a waste
of postage. No, I was all for sending
them out to the dead ones. Drop drop them off at their gravesites.
So they sent them to, you know, so we sent it to Mickey Freeman and Freddie Roman.
And they called me, actually, left messages on the phone.
They loved it.
They loved the book.
So we sent one to Jerry Lewis, too, in Las Vegas.
So Jerry calls, leaves a message.
Hello, Drew Freeman, this is Jerry Lewis. Please call me message. Hello, Drew Friedman, this is Jerry Lee.
Please call me back.
And he leaves his phone number twice.
I say, oh shit. Jerry doesn't sound
happy. What did I do?
Is it because I didn't put him on the cover? I put
Milton Berle on it? Because I gave him that stupid
expression? So I got up my nerve.
I say to Kathy, I say, alright, I'm going to call him back.
And I call him back. I say, hi Jerry,
so you got the book? And he goes, yes, Drew, I got the book. I said, Kathy, I say, all right, I'm going to call him back. And I call him back. I say, hi, Jerry. So you got the book? And he goes, yes, Drew.
I got the book. I said, well, what did you think?
Jesus Christ, I loved it!
Holy moly!
What a book!
So I was safe.
But Jack Carter was not happy.
Notice I went
negative first before the Jerry Lowe.
A reporter from the LA Times called me and said, what do you think about
being in a book called Old Jewish Comedians?
He goes, he hadn't seen it.
He goes, old?
He was like, I think at the time he was 97.
He was 97.
And Jewish?
I don't work Jewish.
And I was like, well, you happen to be Jewish.
You don't work Jewish.
I don't work Jewish.
Yeah, because you never would have known Jack Carter was Jewish.
How about comedian?
You okay with the word comedian?
And he goes, and then he finally saw the drawing and it got worse.
He goes, he drew me with those stupid liver spots.
And he gave me, he combed my hair over like I'm going bald.
He said, I want him to draw me again.
I didn't talk to him.
I said, no, no, tell him like one drawing per Jew, one drawing per customer.
That was it.
He wasn't happy.
Said, Caesar, God rest his soul.
He wasn't happy either. Oh, wow God rest his soul. Yeah. He wasn't happy either.
Oh, wow.
Because I outed his real name.
Kathy and I did research back in the, you know,
when the interwebs were still early.
Kathy, your lovely wife.
That's right.
And so his name on all the websites said Isaac Sidney Caesar.
So that's what we used in the book.
Because the only text in the books are their real Jewish names,
because every one of them changed their names
except for one or two. Karl Reiner is really
Karl Reiner. Manasseh
Skolnick is really Manasseh Skolnick.
Yeah, you wouldn't change it.
And Myron Cohen is Myron Cohen. But all the
others wouldn't change it because they couldn't get work because they were
Jews and, you know, so like, you know the story.
So we kind of
outed Don
Knotts too. His real name is Archibald
or so all the sites said at the time
and he was offended
so his agent called
said oh yeah Don is not happy about this
called from Las Vegas
said shit you know
I'm sorry I love Don Rickles
the last thing I wanted to do was offend him
I said so we'll make a correction in the second book
so we
the correction is basically
Don Rickles says his name was not Archibald
Cesar says claims his name was not because we're not so sure.
It's possible they just don't want – they want their legacy to say Sid Caesar, Don Rickles like that.
So some of them were pissed off.
But most of them love the books and some of them will be here when we have the opening reception for this in two nights.
You accidentally mentioned Don Knotts whose real name was jesse
that's right and when he was dying uh andy griffith visited his hospital bed and said
uh speak to me jesse speak because he thought by calling him jesse would would annoy him enough
he didn't want to be called Jesse. And he kept saying,
come on, speak Jesse.
Did that work?
No.
That killed him.
Yeah, that finished him.
He should have brought Jim Neighbors
and Rock Hudson.
That would have gotten a jolt out of him.
Surprise.
I heard.
What have you heard?
Because I was just about to bring up
Milton Berle's cock.
So let's segue into that.
You couldn't.
We're saving that.
You don't have the strength.
We're saving that one.
And then we'll get to Danny Thomas.
When they were doing Gomer Piles in the Marines.
That's right.
What was that?
Gomer Piles?
He was in Vietnam, I think.
Yes.
Yes.
But that was the show that was a spinoff.
That's right.
And he was a Marine. And they had I heard they had an actual Marine who was like like a technical advisor and a real tough as nails guy.
And he would get really uncomfortable because Rock Hudson would visit gym neighbors on the set and they both would drink a little and get a little
tired. Yeah, they'd be
prancing around and
giggling and hugging each other.
Did you attend the wedding?
I've never met anybody.
Were you at the wedding? Because I wasn't
invited. I wish to God.
I wasn't invited.
Wally Cox was the best man.
The joke around that time was, after Rock Hudson died,
was Rock Hudson had no friends, but he had neighbors up the ass.
That's a beauty.
I think Mark Twain.
I believe it was.
I think it was Robert Frost.
It was Robert Frost. It was one of his final poems. I correct. Beautiful. I think it was Robert Frost. Soroyan. It was Robert Frost.
It was one of his final poems.
I correct.
Beautiful.
That still brings a tear to my eye.
Do you want to segue into Milton Berle?
No.
We have him right here on the cover of your book.
That's right.
I wanted to capture that angry Milton Berle.
Remember he used to go on Joe Franklin's show?
Shut up, Joe.
I'm talking.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
And his cigar smoke was dribbling down his chin.
And he would shut, you know, and Joe would be like, I'm sorry,
Milton, sorry, Milton. You know, he'd just let him go, and he
was never funny, but I love Milton because
you know, when he used to go on Howard Stern's show,
Howard would only want to talk about his cock.
Like, just, that's it, nothing else.
And Milton, what's the matter with you, Howard?
You know, he's like, you know, what would your mother
say? There are other things we should talk about.
So maybe, then occasionally Howard would bring us something up, you know, like something, you know, the old days. And Milton said, like, he's like, you know, what would your mother say? You know, other things we should talk about. So maybe then occasionally Howard would bring us something up, you know, like something, you know, the old days.
Milton said like he would get the conversation back to his cock instantly.
It's like, you know, that's all he would, you know.
Because I heard that Milton Berle once in Vegas had a competition with Tom Jones over who had the biggest cock.
And after, after, after the Forrest Tucker competition. Oh yes. Yeah.
He only took out enough to win. Yes. Right.
And I heard like Milton Berle opened up his pants a little bit and Tom Jones
just went, okay, okay. It's over. Yeah.
I've met a few people who've seen it.
They said it was very, like, we know,
Kathy and I know a young lady,
a young lady who actually directed Milton Berle's last film
and Adam Sandler's first film, Going Overboard.
Do you remember that one?
Oh, geez.
It's like, you know, it's an interesting film, but Milton was in there.
I think this stands out as being a bad Adam Sandler movie.
Yeah, such a thing as possible.
It's the first in a series of bad Adam, right from the get-go.
But she said, like, let me see it.
Yes.
She was the right.
She said, all right, let me see it.
He obliged her instantly.
Oh, yes.
He set up a table.
Set up a table. He said it was a process of getting it out
she said it was
multi-colored
you know like you see a big piece of tongue in a delicatessen
it hasn't been sliced up yet
he just like plopped it down on the table
with a big thud
and there it is
she still has nightmares about it.
And didn't he also walk around parties?
Yeah, naked.
Yeah, and he'd put a stick on like a serving platter and walk around.
Who hasn't, right?
Of course.
Well, you expect that.
When he threw a party, you expect it.
But he would walk around
his dressing room naked
in front of his writers,
you know.
This guy's trying to come up
with material
and there he was.
Irving Brecker
had talked about that
in the early 30s.
Milton would open the door
the first time he met him
and there he was naked
with the gigantic schlong.
And he said,
yes, it's completely true.
Everything you've ever heard.
All true.
All true.
Not made up.
Oh, we should get back to Aaron Fleming.
Oh, okay.
That was Scrooge's girlfriend.
It was his concubine.
Yeah.
His caretaker.
And then, yeah, news started coming out about her.
Yeah, little by little.
Like, she, you know, maybe was a little rough on him.
Slap him around, throw him down the stairs.
Beat him over the head with baseball bats.
Little things like that.
She was threatened to kill other members of his relatives.
She got out of control.
She wound up homeless, actually.
Yeah, homeless, and she shot herself.
I guess so, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she was homeless, and then she blew her brains out.
She lost it, yeah, yeah, she lost it.
You could see it happening.
Flemo, of course, as Michael O'Donoghue wrote about her.
I mean, I think they did a report.
And Flemo, you know, she was the sixth Marks brother.
She was kind of a sad figure.
We knew her when she was still, like, at her height.
You know, she was inviting Ellie Gould over to the house all the time.
Oh, and Bill Crosby.
And Sally Kellerman was always there.
And, you know, she'd fill his house with young, hip celebrities.
And, you know, so that's when we were invited.
We didn't say anything weird or askew about her, you know.
But little by little, you know, it started.
Someday there's going to be a TV movie.
Oh.
Who's going to play old Groucho?
You would be perfect, I think.
Because Groucho, why did your girlfriend, Erin Fleming, kill herself?
Well, Chico needs the money.
Groucho, why did Erin throw you down the stairs?
Because Chico needs the money.
Someday I predict there'll be a, it'll probably be a shitty film.
But I'm predicting ahead of time.
It'll be a TV movie of the week.
Another one of our favorites is... Kevin Spacey
could play Old Grouch. Oh, yes.
Bud and Lou.
Well, of course. With Buddy Hackett
and Harvey Korman.
You listen
to them do their bits.
It's terrible.
It's slowed down when
Buddy Hackett does Lou. Okay,
I bet. He's like, you know, he's like, slows down the entire routines and all the timing is gone.
Yeah, because it's like, in Who's on First?
He would go, what's the guy's name on first base?
And there he's going, Buddy Hackett's going, what is the guy's name on first base?
It's like they've never seen the routine. Yes, yes. Harvey Korman looked nothing like Bud Abbott. He's true. It's like they've never seen the routine.
Yes, yes. Harvey Korman looked nothing like Bud Abbott.
He sounded nothing.
He was like, he tried to do a gravel voice at least,
because, you know, he wanted an Emmy maybe.
He was like, I remember Shecky Green going,
wasn't Buddy Hacker great as Lucas Stuller?
I remember on Tonight Show specifically saying,
wasn't he great on it?
Shouldn't he get an Emmy for that performance?
Johnny Carson looking at him like, huh?
No, he sucked in that.
And my fact.
My old time favorite death scene is Buddy Hackett lying in a hospital bed.
I wouldn't.
And Artie Johnson, very interesting from laughing.
Playing Eddie Sherman.
Yes.
That's great.
He's good in it.
And he delivers, he brings him under his coat a strawberry malted.
And he goes, you know, he takes a sip.
And he goes, you know, Artie, I had a lot of strawberry malted in my day, but this one's the best.
And he falls down dead.
That's right.
It was great.
When they tell him his son died, like, I'm sorry, Lou.
Lou Jr. just died.
My son, Lou Jr., just died.
Get on with it.
Get on with it.
Yeah, he just died.
He's dead.
He drowned. My son, Lou Jr. He's like, it takes Get on with it. Yeah, he just died. He's dead. He drowned.
My son, Lou Junior, he's like, it takes like half an hour.
I have to set up a foundation for Lou Junior.
Louie Junior.
He died.
I'm a bad boy.
Groucho, why did Lucas Della Jr. have to die?
Because Chico needed the money.
You mentioned Howard Stern a minute ago.
Tell us how Howard Stern became one of your biggest fans.
Well, actually, Billy West, who was one of your recent guests,
actually brought Howard one of our books, Warts and All.
And then the next day, Howard, this was around 20 years ago or so,
Howard was talking about it on the air,
actually reading some of the dialect from, and since then, we kind of had a, you know,
we kind of hit it off. I illustrated both of Howard's books, Miss America and Private Parts.
And, you know, so he's been very supportive of me over the years. And, you know, he's mentioned
that I'm his favorite artist. I don't agree, but that's what he claims. I mean, I don't agree that I'm my favorite artist.
But anyway, so, you know, so we go back.
You know, we go way back.
He's been very supportive.
Terrific guy.
And I like Jerry Lewis, too.
You know, I have nothing bad to say about him.
Which is, see, Jerry Lewis is one of those people, infamous.
I've just met him a handful of times, and he was always nice to me.
And that's the classic
line.
Nice to me?
Yeah. I met Kathleen Freeman.
And I
said, so what was Jerry
Lewis I'd like to work with?
Because she worked with him in a lot of movies.
And she said, well, he was
always nice to me. He was always nice to me.
He's always nice to me.
I remember Gilbert doing the aristocrats joke in front of Jerry.
I think that's what gave him the heart attack.
He had a heart attack that afternoon at the Hilton Hotel.
And when he grabbed his chest and went, hi!
It was a beautiful moment.
It was a beautiful moment.
How did the old Jewish comedian's book come about, the first one?
And the series, the book series.
Briefly, the editor of the books, Monty Beauchamp, my friend,
was doing these series of books and said,
Drew, do you want to do one?
These square hardcovers.
You can do anything you want.
And I said, well, the money isn't great,
but what do I like drawing the most? I like drawing old Jews,
and I like drawing comedians, so I
combined that, old Jewish comedians, so that's what I
came up with.
We've done three books now, and now we're here at the
Society of Illustrators, where
they're having the Old Jewish Comedian show
with all the artwork is hanging,
and the show's going to be on for two months
through May, so
hopefully everybody can come visit.
Hopefully we'll have the podcast up soon enough for people to hear this.
Hopefully we'll have a podcast for the phone show.
Even if you hate Jews.
Don't assume anything.
Even if you hate Jews, you're going to love this show.
Even if you're Mel Gibson, you're going to love this show.
I guarantee it.
And, you know, it's like everybody, not everybody loves the Jews,
but everybody loves old Jewish comedians.
Let's talk about...
Danny Thomas.
Okay.
You know what?
When they finally write the glass coffee table book about Danny Thomas,
you know the title.
Make Room for Duty?
Exactly.
Should that end it?
Don't encourage him.
Now, we both knew Sid Melton.
Well, yeah, of course.
Yeah.
You mean personally?
No, I met him personally about three times.
Yeah.
He lived in Van Nuys.
Yes.
Yeah.
In a pathetic apartment. Near where Joey Ross died.
Oh, wow.
Joey Ross died in Van Nuys.
And I heard Joey Ross, before he died, grabbed his chest and went, ooh, ooh.
That's likely.
That's right.
Joey Ross used to, you know, he married hookers.
Yes.
And then he would get offended that all his friends were fucking them.
I can't believe this.
So he'd keep divorcing and marry another one.
And I heard that Nat Hyken hated Joey.
Well, Joey smelled.
That was like to begin with.
Like Rosie Greer?
Yeah.
And Imogen Coco, who was a distinguished actress, you know, from your show.
And she had to work with him.
And he was wearing a loincloth at that point.
And it's about time.
She couldn't stand them.
Nobody liked them.
And I heard.
Fred Gwynn put up with them.
He liked them.
I heard he thought he was like, he immediately thought he was a big Shakespearean actor and a major star.
And, oh, I heard one time they had some people who were invited to the set, some women who were from some whatever religious group, and they passed by Joey Ross's dressing room.
The door was open and he was there jerking off.
What else would you expect?
I don't know if he wore his top hat.
Something else only I could draw.
I'm going to get right to work on that one.
What was he jerking off to?
What in particular?
The thing with two heads.
He was jerking off to pictures
of Al Lewis.
Schnauzer.
Schnauzer.
I never heard that one, but that's a
nice memory. I met Joey Ross
at Cantor's when it used to be a hangout.
When it was good.
Oh, yes, yes.
Before it was lousy.
Yes, yes.
And I remember I had just done a pilot,
and I was there with the other guy who worked on the pilot,
and we met Joey Ross and we told him,
with the other guy who worked on the pilot.
And we met Joey Ross and we told him. And Joey Ross
said,
I just hope you guys have
the luck that I did. I did
three pilots and they all became
series. That was
great. He was amazing.
I think they want to close.
The society? Yeah.
No, they put it for sale.
I think it's closing.
Everybody's hungry.
It's only midnight.
What have we left out?
They're showing new tenants the building.
What have we left out?
Before we run, can I ask you, you were kind enough to give me a copy of Skidoo for my birthday.
Oh, my gosh. Could you briefly share give me a copy of Skidoo for my birthday. Oh, my God.
Could you briefly share your passion for the movie Skidoo?
Well, you know, Skidoo is one of those films where they give it to a guy who's never made a comedy in his life,
with no sense of humor, Otto Preminger, who also shared Danny Thomas' passion for glass coffee tables, by the way.
I didn't know that.
We'll talk about that
over dinner.
So what does Hollywood do
in 1960?
They give him a movie to do.
A comedy movie.
All-star comedy movie, too.
It's possibly the worst film.
Worst comedy ever made.
Possibly the worst film
ever made.
With the greatest cast.
Jackie Gleason.
Carol Channing,
who does the striptease in it.
It's disturbing.
It's hard to watch.
Frankie Avalon.
Groucho.
Groucho Marx is like, you know, why did you appear in that film, Groucho?
He plays God.
Chico needed the money.
Even though Chico had been dead for 10 years,
he still needed the money for his maintenance of his gravesite.
But it's fascinating to watch as Jackie Gleason
is angry throughout the whole film.
How did I get in this? Doesn't he drop acid
in the picture? With Austin Pendleton.
Groucho's name is LSD.
He's God now. Oh, he's God.
Dick Shawn is LSD in the producer.
Oh, okay. He's God in that.
It's terrible. Not a laugh to be had,
but it's fascinating just the same.
And it's Hollywood showing they didn't understand the whole hippie youth movement.
Proving it.
Yeah.
We've got to be part of this.
But it's like giving Stanley Kramer, another guy who never made a comedy,
who actually made a funny one, so that was the thinking.
Like, anybody can direct a comedy.
So they gave it one to Otto Preminger.
Hardly ever made a good movie, let alone a comedy movie.
Laura was his one classic.
Anatomy of a Murder.
He was all of a sudden a comedy director.
It's fascinating to watch.
It's a good dude.
I heard that John Philip Law.
He's a hippie.
He was offered the part of Joe Buck
in Midnight Cowboy
and he turned it down
because he figured
hey what I'm going to play a homosexual
hustler
out in the street when I could
be doing a classic comedy
with Groucho Marx
and Jackie Gleason
you know why he didn't take that film?
because he didn't want to get a blowjob from Bob Balaban.
When he read that, when his agent said,
well, look, you know, we got Bob Balaban,
you know, on 40 seconds, he's going to get, you know,
going to blow you.
He said, hey, you know, do I need this?
But then they asked John Philip Law,
why'd you take Skidoo?
He said, because you're going to loseoo? And he said, because Chico knew the moment.
Thank you, Drew.
My pleasure.
Is this show going to be cancelled?
Yes. Thank you.
It's never happened, so it won't
be a shock when it's cancelled.
Next time we'll go further.
We're here at the Society of Illustrators on 63rd between Park and Lex.
Here with famous illustrator and cartoonist Drew Friedman.
I'm Gilbert Gottfried.
Here with my co-host Frank Santropadre.
And this has been the Amazing Colossal Podcast.