Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 149. Richard Kind

Episode Date: April 3, 2017

Gilbert and Frank welcome back actor, raconteur and GGACP superfan Richard Kind, who waxes nostalgic about everything from "Soldier in the Rain" to "My Favorite Martian" to working alongside Robert Conrad, Charles Grodin, Martin Short and the Coen Brothers. Also, Frank Gorshin turns on the charm, Slappy White teams with Steve Rossi, Gilbert drops a dime on Eugene Pallette and Richard defends "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol." PLUS: Nick Apollo Forte! "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage"! Uncle Goopy reveals all! Praising M. Emmett Walsh! And Phil Collins meets Henry Mancini! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, who said he would write out an introduction for my guests. So I said, all right, I'll just leave it to you. And now he comes in and says he left it at home or he lost it on the subway.

It's been a long week. Yeah. The dog peed on it. My cat peed on it. And so we have no introduction. My grandmother died, and I lost it at the funeral. So our next guest was in the breakfast club. That's right.

And I was wonderful. Yes. I was the farriest. Yes, okay. And he was the voice of E.T. Yes. Right. There's one more.

He was Linda Blair's stuntwoman in The Exorcist. Was I good? I liked that one. It was good. It was so versatile. It was good. And you one time, I think, teamed up with Steve Rossi after he split up with Marty Allen. And I can't play it.

It says, duh. Even when I was talking, I'd go, duh. Rossi and kind. Who could forget them? Yes, they were the best. It was right after Slappy White and Steve Ross. Did you work with Slappy White, by the way? Slappy White?

Yeah. No. No, but I know they went together. But Slappy White came after Marty Allen? Of course. Yes. Why? He teamed up.

I know. Who left who? Marty Allen was getting work on his own. They liked him more than they liked Steve Rossi. Right. Uh-huh. And how did that work out? Now, oh, I should say, I think Richard Kind is here with us.

I don't have an intro. But because Frank fucked it up. I'm filming Exorcist 4. Now, so Steve Rossi teamed up with Slappy White, their black comedian. Because they wanted to get edgier. Yes. Yes. And their big intro when they'd walk out on stage was, you know,

we're Rossi and White. I'm Steve Rossi. And Slappy White go, and I'm White. Oh, geez. And it went downhill from there. And Red Fox teamed with Slappy White, which I didn't know. They teamed with them or did they just work red and white? Really?

Yeah. Wow. You know that? Look it up. I have a question. Was Slappy White great? Never saw. Did you ever see his stand up, Gil?

I don't think I ever did. No, I think Ben Blue teamed up with him. Really? It was red, white, and blue. We're starting the show with a Ben Blue reference. Richard. Yes. Thanks for being here. I don't know what the hell we're gonna, I'm, I just,

I exploded everything last time I was here. Oh, we'll find things. This is a huge mistake. It's just, I don't know what the hell we're going to. I exploded everything last time I was here. Oh, we'll find things. This is a huge mistake. I don't know why I'm here. If it makes you feel any better, I think it's a huge mistake to have you back. And I'm here to support you. You are such a fan of this show. I got to admit, I am.

Let me say one thing before we ever start. Before I say anything. I love the man. I love his talent. Before I say anything, I love the man, I love his talent, and I thought that the episode that you did for Christmastime and the short episode, Mario the Best, how he does not like Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol is an outrage. That is.

It is an outrage. It's better than Alistair Sim. It's much better than Albert Finney. George C. Scott, great. Patrick Stewart, fine. But Mr. Magoo, that's perfection. I love the Mr. Magoo Christmas carousel. And it's the guy who wrote Hello, not Hello, Dolly, but Funny Girl and Carousel.

I mean, yeah, Carousel and not Carousel, Carnival. Bob Merrill. He's out of his head. He's out of his head. He's out of his head. I wish you were here today. I would berate him. Silver and gold. Silver and gold.

When he comes out of the window and says, boy, I can't do Jim Backus. Boy, boy, what day is it? I'm sobbing. Yes. That's all I see. It was great. It's great. It's great.

He's out of his head. Fuck him. He's never coming back on It was great. It's great. It's great he's out of his head. Fuck him. He's never coming back on the show. That little guinea. Yeah. That little guinea. That little guy wanted to say all the words I could say. But you did write us and say what?

You were driving in the car with your family when you listened to the Betty Davis. I'm driving back from North Carolina. It's nighttime. My family is all asleep. I have headphones on because I'm listening to the podcast. And I mean, I'm dying laughing from the Betty Davis. And of course, you're Tony Curtis. Great.

His Betty Davis killed me. That, honest to God, that duet just killed me. It was fun. And somebody was wise enough, and I don't know who it is, compared it to, because I have, listen to me, I'm going to talk like an athlete, but I have dropped weights in the weight room listening to you do Jerry Lewis under the shitting table. All the Steve Cox episodes. That one, and I know it's five minutes and 24 seconds before the end of that episode and it, I can listen to that over and over and over again. It's poetry. It's honest to God.

It's like some Southern writer just, but it's Jerry Lewis just flowing out of your mouth. It kills me. Yeah, that's at the end of the Steve Cox episode. Oh, my God. It killed me. It absolutely killed me. I couldn't breathe. And this one was the same thing.

Now, can you name some Jew-hating celebrities, please? Can we slander some people? Go ahead. Let's slander. We can always cut it. Allegedly, they hate the Jews. Allegedly. Well, Errol Flynn hated the Jews. Hated the Jews. Yeah. Well, that they hate the Jews. Allegedly. Well, Errol Flynn hated the Jews.

Hated the Jews. Yeah. Well, that you can say because he's gone. Well, the best, the definition of an anti-Semite is hating Jews more than is absolutely necessary. And I also say, for those who live in New York, have you ever been to Fairway Market up on 80th? Okay. Sure. Fairway is the only legitimate reason to hate Jews.

Because most aisles are made for two carts, for the width of two carts. This is made for one and three quarters. And they just bang and they get the back of your of your heel, the Achilles heel, and they're pushing. And they're just these little old Jewish ladies who've been up there forever. And you just want to hit them. It's awful. It's just all about why?

Why? Why did they take my grandmother and not this? I kid, of course. Now, John Wayne had to have hated the Jews. Okay, I worked at—I belonged to a club that was formerly known for being anti-Semitic. Yes. Lakeside. And they used to all stand around and collectively hate the Jews, the gays.

It was a daily activity. Honest to God. You had Ward Bond. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, here's a great story. God, I hope I didn't talk about this. Walter Brennan? No, you didn't.

I didn't talk about Walter Brennan? I heard that Walter Brennan was an anti-Semite. Oh, anti-Semite goes without saying. Okay. That's a given. That's a given. No, no, no. But they hated the gay people.

They hated gays. Hated them. Viciously hated the gays. Walter Brennan did not play golf, but he sat at the bar and got drunk all the time. By the way, how tall do you think he was? How tall do you think Walter Brennan was? Oh, 5'8"? And he got 6'4".

Walter Brennan was 6'4"? He's always small on camera. I know. Yes! And he was old when he was 22. Right. I know. Like Leo G. Carroll and Walter Brennan. They were all... That's weird. I don't want to get Yes! And he was old when he was 22. Right. I know. Like Leo G. Carroll and Walter Brennan, they were all...

That's weird. I don't want to get Leo G. Carroll in here because I got nothing. And George McCready was always an old man. Was always old. Yeah. Right. Okay, so anyways... And Burt Mustin.

And Walter Brennan, along with Wayne and Ward Bond and John Ford, they all were at Lakeside hating any minority. Ford. They all were at Lakeside hating any minority. So, Walter Brennan, and this was confirmed by a guy who's a member there now and whose mother had a, you know,

a little bed and breakfast, not bed and breakfast, but what do you call a little place, like a hotel, but a rooming house. And when I hear rooming house, I think of George Bailey's mother. Me too. Bula Bondi. Yeah, you think of Bula Bond mother. Me too. Beulah Bondi. Yeah, you think of Beulah Bondi. So Walter Brennan had a place, a small place, where he put up gay guys at this rooming house.

And he used to go there and have his ways with those. Good Lord. I know. Wow. Here's something else. Here's something else. Oh, God. This is awful.

Allegedly. This is awful. I hope to God because he was a great guy. We don't want to get sued by Walter Berns. Well, here's somebody. I mean, one of the nicest men in the world. But from what I hear, God, I don't know whether I should say this. Well, tell us and leave the name out.

There's somebody who we all know and worshipped as an all-american guy and an all-american father and was a terrific actor who was known as a chicken hawk you know what a chicken hawk is they wait around at the bus station for the young kids okay this guy and i know this because i knew the first captain of the first swat team ever in the world, a guy named Jeff Rogers, a great guy, great, great guy. And he used to play golf with him. And he – I don't know why. One night, it's a Saturday night. We played gin at Lakeside and everything.

And it was just Jeff and I in the room. He's drunk and I'm drinking. We're just playing cards. And it gets to be 8, 8.30, 9 o I'm drinking, we're just playing cards and it gets to be eight, eight, 39 o'clock and we're just playing. And he looks up and he, you know, he was a real Republican as are many of those guys over at the lakeside, the real right wing. And he was a policeman, best friends with Daryl Gates. He was a, uh, uh, a captain of the first SWAT team. And I'm a diehard liberal. I mean, I'm a real Hollywood liberal.

And he just looks up, he goes, Richard, there is no reason for us to be friends. You're a liberal. You do what you do. We have nothing in common, nothing at all in common. But God damn it, I love you. How about that? Wow. How about that?

He used to say, he goes, every liberal I talk to, they don't want to hear. You listen. I was pretty good. Nice. But he told me about this actor. Now, give us a hint. I actually did give you some hints. Wait.

And I can't give you any more. Because I met him. I worked with him once. And he was as wonderful, wonderful, wonderful a guy as you could imagine, but he was a chicken hawk. Okay, if you pass me— George Pappard. Was George Pappard a beloved dad?

I can't tell you. I'll tell you after the show. I have an idea. If you search me out or pass me on the street, I will tell you. But I will not do it over the years. Fred McMurray. It's not Fred McMurray, but Jesus. So we'll tell our listeners. If you see Richard in the street, ask him.

It's close to Fred McMurray. Now, I will tell you another story. Did I tell you the one about Ronald Reagan at Lakeside? You know, for all that I feel about Ronald Reagan and as time goes by, he's gotten better in my eyes, although he probably was a miserable, I probably would not have liked him if he were president today. However, I'm going to burp because I got club soda and I'm talking so much. So, Ronald Reagan is a member of Lakeside, okay?

And he had his business manager used to come and play golf with him. And it got to be more than a couple of times. And they told Ronald Reagan, please, just please don't bring him around anymore. And he knew that this was because he was Jewish. And he resigned from the club. Well, now this was when he was a Democrat, you know, when a union guy. Right, he was the president of the SAG, right?

Yeah, but anyway, he did a very gracious thing and when Wilshire, not Wilshire Country Club, God knows, not Wilshire, Hillcrest Country Club found out, they sent Ronald Reagan a letter and said, thank you very much for what you did. Consider yourself an honorary member of our club. Just don't come more

than six times. Interesting. No, as a joke. And now while Gilbert heads into the nutmeg kitchen to steal more Perrier, a word from our sponsor. Walk with us. Connect to the land that connects us all. Sit with us. Connect to the land that connects us all.

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account and help that future come faster the fhsa is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home with quest trade you can open an fhsa online no bank appointment needed it's easy and only takes a few minutes the sooner you get started the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Now, unfortunately, we return to our show. So who's the one they wouldn't allow in? Oh, okay.

So did I tell the Johnny Mathis story? I don't think you did. Oh, this is the funniest line ever. If I didn't, this is what I held. I would tell the story. This is the funniest line ever. I always, if I didn't, this is what I tell the story. This is the funniest line ever said by a bigot, is that Johnny Mathis was trying to get into Lakeside. And, of course, he's a gay man as well as being black. So somebody went up to the head of membership and said, I hear that Johnny Mathis wants to join.

What's it look like? And the guy goes, chances aren't. wants to join, what's it look like? And the guy goes, chances aren't. Now, who's the guy? Sorry. Who was the Jew that Ronald Reagan quit over? Marvin Shapiro. I don't know.

It's his business manager. Oh, so it wasn't anyone. No. No one famous. I wish we could have aligned somebody else. Oh, God. No one famous. It was his business manager.

You know who was? I don't know the name of my business manager. You know who was- I don't know the name of my business manager. You know who was racist and anti-Semitic? Old character actor Eugene Palette. Oh, you told me that.

Yeah. I hate to talk like that. Yeah, yeah. They used to call him Froggy. Yeah, I loved Eugene Palette. I always see him at the end of a table having dinner.

That's how I see him. If you ever saw, like, is it Heaven? The original Heaven. Yeah, the Lubitsch one. Yeah, and then, anyway, yeah, go ahead. He idolized Hitler. No, no. Where did you come up with this?

Yeah, I read about it. That is my definition of an anti-Semite. He idolized Hitler. He was fully expecting Hitler to win. Really? Wow. Eugene Pellet. Eugene Pellet. Wow. Eugene Paulette. Eugene Paulette.

Friar Tuck. Yeah. He's one of the most lovable characters. I'm shocked that he was hired by Lubitsch, but he was also hired by Sturgis? No, no, no. Fred Capra. Oh, yeah, Capra. He was hired by Capra a lot. And Capra was a right wing.

I don't know whether he's bigoted. Very right wing. And Jeffrey Sweet, a wonderful playwright here in town, once wrote Capra a letter saying, you know, how much he adored him. And Capra beautifully said, I am not my films. Don't admire me so much. Admire my films. Isn't that interesting yeah

isn't that something yeah I know I have a letter from Frank Capra saying get the fuck off my lawn I'm tired of you I'll show it to you sometime I like most Italians

you I don't well since you love the show so much and you never miss an episode wait I gotta say something else go ahead honest to God you have the guy so much and you never miss an episode. Wait, I got to say something else. Go ahead. Honest to God, you have the guy in here for the trivia. I'm the first question, okay?

And I listened to your show. Oh, yeah, you were the first question. I'm the first question and you go, oh, best friend of George Clooney. Are you fucking kidding me? You heard what credits I have. I'm Linda Blair Standard and I get George Clooney as my credit. Honest to God. So I'm going to take a safe bet then that George Clooney does not hate the Jews.

Oh, no. I've gotten him to the point where he hates the Jews. It's taken a lot of work, but no. He hates the Jews. That's like, you know, I'm not a comedian and I don't write funny lines, but every once in a while I write a joke. And my only great joke is my wife was raised Episcopalian, but after marrying me, she converted to anti-Semitism. And that's, well, maybe it's not that great a joke. What did you think of our conversation with Lee Grant?

That was a good one. Oh, they're all great. Yeah. And Ron Liebman we had in here and Jessica Walton. Ron Liebman hates the Jews. Who knew? Yeah. Ron Liebman, the most active tongue in the business.

Was he like this all the time? I just remember him as Roy Cohn. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Won the Tony. Oh, yeah. And that's the only role that I ever, you know, everybody says, oh, I'd love to play Willie Loman or King Lear or, you know, or Stanley Kowalski, whatever it is. Roy Cohn. And I've told Tony Kushner that. That's the only role.

That's the one you want to play. If anybody's doing it. But Ron Liebman in Where's Papa is as brilliant. Oh, yeah. And then within a year or so in Slaughterhouse-Five, Ron Liebman is the greatest. He's got great range. Great. And, of course, Jessica Walter worked all of her life. But, boy, those couple of years of Ron Liebman, and I've been lucky enough.

I went and saw them play Rabbit Hole, and they were sitting right behind me. And it was one of those I've never met him before. I hardly knew her. And they treated me like I was a peer. Oh, they're the best. Is Ron Liebman the All-American father who's a chicken hawk? Yes, he is. Yeah, that's the guy.

You got it out of me. That's the guy. It's Ron Liebman. The yid All-American father. Was it Frank Gorshin? Also not an All-American father. Was it Frank Gorshin? Also not an All-American father. Frank Gorshin once guested on Spin City. Really?

Wow. I think it was, yeah, it was Spin City. And he, okay, Bill Lawrence, who helped create Spin City, tall, good looking, six foot four, as waspy as they get. He might even love Hitler. Now, Bill Lawrence, one of the great guys in the world, handsome, studly, funny, smart, from a very wealthy family and yet still made his mark in TV with Scrubs and Spin City. Terrific writer. Great.

Has a beautiful wife. Beautiful wife. And Frank Gorshin's putting the moves on her at age 65, 70. Like she's going to do anything with a 70-year-old man and upsetting her husband. Anyway, that made me laugh. That always made me laugh. But God bless him. You know what? If he didn't, he might never have gotten laid. I'm not saying she did, but it's like, my dad had a guy, my dad had a jewelry store, and the guy who ran sort of the storage and the

mailing and everything was a black guy in Princeton, New Jersey, which is only filled with white people. And he would only date white people. And he was a handsome guy, but he would always have a different woman on his arm. And one time I said, Don, how do you do it? And he goes, man, you try to kiss a girl ten times, nine times you're going to get slapped. But, oh, boy, that tenth time. And that's what Frank Ocean did. And God bless him.

Wow. You know? He hit on a friend of mine, too, who was in her 30s at the time. There you go. At a Comic-Con, at an autograph signing. How about that? Yeah. I mean, God bless him for trying.

She said if he had the Riddler suit in the car, she would have considered. She gave it some thought. Now, what about the amount of pussy that Rich Little and Will Jordan got? I don't remember. Did you hear our interview with both of them? Both of them. Did I hear that? Well, no, they were both impressionists.

God, he's putting you on. Okay, thank God. Yes, I do not remember. Do you love Broadway Danny Rose as much as we do? Speaking of Will, I know you're a Woody Allen guy. You love bananas. I don't love Broadway Danny Rose as much. I'll tell you another movie that I don't love as much as you love.

Uh-oh. King of Comedy. I don't know why. It's an upsetting film and a frustrating film. Right. Tough to watch, but rewarding. Now, I haven't seen it in years, but I remember not loving it as much. Watching Broadway Danny Rose now in retrospect, yeah, and that guy, who's the Italian singer?

Nick Apollo Forte. Yeah, a great performance and nominated for an award. And God knows what would have happened if that would have been like that Quisela Wallace or somebody having won an Academy Award for Beasts of the Southern Wild. Yeah. You know, I mean, you meet somebody halfway, but who deserves the award is Woody Allen Frick knowing enough to cast this non-actor. Yeah. He was great. And getting a great performance. It was a revelation.

Yeah. But I don't love the movie and it's silly. You know, it's a little silly with the balloons, the hydrogen, you know, the, it gets, it's silly. I love the beginning. I love seeing the faces more than what they're talking about. I just like to hear them talk. But no, I don't love it as much as you guys probably do.

I really brought things down. No, you didn't. Give The King of Comedy another look. Yeah, I should. I really should. We introduced it recently. It's a very, very frustrating film. It was a time when like that movie based on the, I think, a Wharton novel that Martin Scorsese did.

Oh, The Age of Innocence. Oh, God, do I hate that movie. I want to shoot myself when I watch that movie. Oh, my God. So there are some that he just don't click with me, and yet he's the greatest there is. Oh, yeah. Simply the greatest there is. And, of course, Goodfellas or even

Casino. I didn't love as much as when I watch it now, but I can't turn those off. No. Honest to God. It's kind of like The Godfather. You have to leave it on. It's The Godfather. I will close my eyes when I'm flipping those channels because I can't. I'll go, oh, it's that scene. I'll just watch that scene. It's like going to bed with a computer on your chest. And like Gil, you were a TCM programmer. You were a guest programmer. Yeah, I was. What did you pick? I know two of them. I know you picked Soldier. We talked about this. I don't think we did.

We talked about Soldier in the Rain. I think we did. We did. Okay. And you picked The Apartment. Was that Steve McQueen? Yeah. God bless you. You know that one. Yeah. And Gleeson. Yeah. It's horrible and great all at the same time. It sort of waves in and out. Gleeson, brilliant. Tuesday World, great.

Steve McQueen has bad a performance. He became a star after that movie. It's outrageous. He's downright bad. But there's that beautiful line when they're watching the fireworks. And she goes, that's the saddest thing in the world. And Jackie Gleeson goes, why? And she goes, well, they're so beautiful for such a you know, and she goes, that's the saddest thing in the world. And Jackie Gleason goes, why? And she goes, well, they're so beautiful for such a short time and then they die.

And it's just sort of stuff I remember. And I was around 11 years old at the time. And I really wanted, I wanted to be Jackie Gleason's best friend at the time. I wanted to be his little buddy. Interesting. What else did you pick? Which leads us to, did Jackie Gleason hate the Jews? I doubt it.

Yeah? I doubt. But I'm going to tell you something, and I thought of this. I love these segues. I'm thinking, and if you have any ideas, honest to God, now or after the show, I'm thinking of writing a one-man cabaret act. Okay? And I thought about how I would start it.

And when I was a kid, I loved Walt Disney so much. And all I wanted to do was be Kurt Russell and sit on Walt Disney's lap because there was a picture of Kurt Russell in his office sitting on Walt Disney's and I wanted to be Walt Disney's kid and then I had World Book Encyclopedia in my room and the only things I would look up were Walt Disney, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

They were the only showbiz people that were listed in the World Book Encyclopedia I picked three of the most enormous anti-Semites I'm such a kid and I'm just looking up Walt Disney and he hated the Jews

did I tell you the story about George and yeah I must have about the Christmas parade I don't think you did. Oh, God. This is hilarious. This is hilarious. Oh, my God.

You know what? I think it's because I don't like to talk about George. All right. First of all, I'm going to tell you a story. My mom was at a retirement home

before she left, and my aunt happened to be there, too, and my aunt happened to be there, too. And my aunt was president, and she arranged to have me come and talk to the people and explain about my career and show business and everything like that. So, of course, in a heartbeat, of course, I'll do it. I get there. The advertisement on the wall, okay, the little posters, not posters, but the flyers that were up on the wall, There was a picture taken at George and Amal's wedding with all of the guys. You know, George has sort of a group of guys and we've been friends for literally 25 years.

I'm not kidding. It's been forever. It's longer. And we are very, very tight, very close, even to this day that we don't see each other. When we see each other, it's shorthand. We pick it up. Anyway, there's a picture of all the nine guys in tuxedos standing. We look like that picture in The Godfather.

Oh, yeah. The family, okay? It's all like that, and George is standing there, and Amal has her leg up a la Harpo Marx and, you know, sexy, and it's all of us. I get to the retirement home. It's all of us. I get to the retirement home. There's that picture up there. And my face is circled with a red magic mark when it says coming to the thing.

That's how they advertised it. Not a picture of me. A picture of George Clooney's wedding of which I'm minuscule. Do you understand? Yeah. Is this making sense to you? Even though you're live in person and we're on radio now, it was – I don't even – George Clooney is my biggest credit on my resume. All right. So –

Forgive us for the quiz, by the way. Okay. George, years and years ago, has split with his wife, and he's rooming with me. Okay, now I don't like to tell these stories, but this has been told before, so I'll tell this. George is staying at my apartment, okay, and then for a few months.

Now, he's staying there around Christmas time, and he says, can we have a Christmas tree? Now, I've been raised, Christmas, my dad being a retailer, is the most beautiful time of the year. I believe it's a non-religious thing. But the one thing we never did was have a Christmas tree that's just a little too on the edge. Now, I'm now married to a non-Jew.

And, of course, I have a Christmas tree. But at the time, I was holding on to who I was. No Christmas tree. And George said, come on. And I go, I just can't. So we're at the farmer's market. And he's, you know, in the corner where Trader Joe's is now used to be a lot where they used to have all the Christmas trees and sell them there.

He goes, come on, come on. Because I just, I said, George, I can't do it. Finally, one time we're at the farmer's market. We're going to something around Thanksgiving. The trees are over there we each have about six pumpkin pies in our hands

because we're taking them to the party and he goes come on just let me and I said George I just can't do it and he took each pie

and he threw them at me in the parking lot all six he just threw them at me he was furious cut to a few years later. I'm on Spin City, ABC, and owned by Disney.

And Disney has the tape in early December, but shown on Christmas morning. The Christmas parade. Caroline Ray and I. So George wakes up, turns on the TV, and there's me leading the parade going, It's holly jolly Christmas. And he goes, it's Holly, Charlie, Christmas. And he goes, he just says, I can't believe it. He's calling all his friends, look, on ABC. And it's Disney, it's Christmas, I'm leading the parade.

He was furious. I love it. And that just makes me laugh. Now, you were in a movie that the Coen brothers made. Yeah, sure. A great movie. Yeah, sure. A great movie. Seriously, man. Truly, truly.

I'm going to have to bring things down because this is – it's really a great, great movie. Uncle Arthur, you're terrific. Yeah, it's a wonderful movie. I'm good. Michael Stuhlbarg, brilliant. So many people. Amy Landecker, who's now on Transparent. She was – a lot of great people.

And it's the Coen brothers, and it's philosophical. I always say it's a great date movie because it's all about whether you believe in God and what is God and what does this mean in much the way that the monolith in 2001, what does that mean? You could talk about what does it all mean. So you go and you see the movie, and then you go out on a date, and you think what is that? And you can sort of figure out what that person's made of. I know there's one small part. Dara would never have married. You see the movie?

Yeah. It's terrific. Yeah, serious man. Yeah, so there's one small part that. There's one small part where a dentist is examining a guy who has Hebrew lettering on the inside of his teeth. I know, right. who has Hebrew lettering on the inside of his teeth. I know, right.

And it haunts him his entire life. Right. And he goes to a rabbi, and there's absolutely no answer for it. Oh, I know. So he just goes on with his life. So what does it mean? Yeah. The first 10 minutes, look, I was on Charlie Rose. I was on Charlie Rose, and somebody said,

why didn't you ask the Coen brothers like do you ever ask them what it means or what it says I go I wouldn't dare you don't dare ask them they would have I burped again

those first those first that little thing that first 10 minutes you know with the Russian yeah I have a theory I have a theory

like everybody says oh it's like you know like they're there because later on it means that there's no God. In my opinion, and I've never asked the cones this, this is just me philosophizing. They started out to write a movie. They wrote 10 minutes and they said, this is never going to work. We got to start all over. And then they wrote a serious man. But they said, you know what? Let's. We got to start all over. And then they wrote A Serious Man.

But they said, you know what? Let's put this little 10-minute sketch at the beginning. It's possible. I think that's what they did. Then they gave the credits and then the movie started. They create their own worlds. And they're so... How great is Miller's Crossing?

They're such nice... They're all. Yeah, yeah. Except for the Tom Hanks movie, which has such a brilliant cast. It was odd that they did a remake. It was. They must love it.

Like, we all love it. Yeah. And it just simply did not work. Yeah. But. Had good performances. Everything about it is stellar, and it just adds up to a flat souffle. But each world they create, like the Hudsucker Proxy and Miller's Crossing.

And they're nothing like what they are, are guys with an imagination. Yeah. That's really what they are. They're just good guys who are funny and normal and down to earth. And they just get around to making things up. And they're just the best. Just the best. They're great, great people.

Really great. You look so pensive. I know. I'm not used to talking sincerely. And you're not great people. Really great. You look so pensive. I know, I'm not used to talking sincerely and you're not used to looking at me talking sincerely. This has been Richard Tye. I know. I want to know about something.

Watch me as Brock Peters in To Kill a Mockingbird. Good night, everybody. Is there a Martin Short Brock Peters moment? Does that ring a bell? Yes, of course. Did I say it on the show? No, I found it in my research.

Oh, my God. It was hilarious. Because you're in Clifford. Okay. Clifford, which is how I know Charles Groton. Yeah. The greatest. Who we love.

Oh, my God. There's a great guy. We'd do anything to get him here. You know what? I'm going to call him, although he may laugh me off the phone. But I'll tell you some stories about Chuck. But I'm doing Clifford and Marty. Marty just makes me laugh. He knows how to make me laugh. So there's one scene where I have to get up and I have to cross. We're on an airplane and I have to get through some people's legs. And I'm just by

his mouth as I'm crawling through and he just goes like this. The audience can't see. Maybe you can hear. Did you hear that? It was right in my ear, like a headphone would be, or, you know, a little bud would be in your ear and everybody's around you, but only you hear the bud. Well, there's a microphone, but only I hear that. Okay. Every take he would do that. I'm going like that. And I would just laugh. And the director begged him, begged him, please don't make Richard laugh. And he wouldn't stop. He just kept doing it. He made me laugh so much. And then there's a scene because he plays a 10 year old boy and he loves dinosaurs.

So he has a dinosaur and with the crooked neck, he would stick the – I would be sleeping and he would stick the head of the dinosaur up my nose and I would go like that and then he'll cut. And he goes, not since Brock Peters has there been a nostril like that. He just killed me. And I remember Chuck – I was in no scenes with him, and I really didn't know him. He's sitting there, and we're all sitting around, and somebody came by, a workman, and happened to have knocked off his toupee. And without missing a beat, he just put his hand on his head, reached down, picked up the toupee, put it back on, and kept talking. Wow. Did not even acknowledge the elephant in the room. And it was,

it was, it was jaw dropping. It was like that. And, uh, you know, and the, the toupee came off. There's an actor we love. Yeah. He's great. Now he, I'm telling you, he had no idea who I was, not on that movie, not on anything. I get this phone call, Rich Chuck Roden. Chuck, he goes, you know, we're in a movie together. You were wonderful. And he does not know me. I'm telling you, he doesn't know me. He goes, but you came recommended and we did this play that he wrote and he writes a lot of plays. I'm going to tell you what the plot is. and he writes a lot of plays. I'm going to tell you what the plot is.

And you have to believe me, this is the plot of the play. Two guys, songwriters, who have written every song in the American Songbook and have a story of a – so they go, raindrops keep falling on my head. How did you write that? And he goes, well, I was outside and I had just broken up with a girl and raindrops kept falling on my head. And I go, oh, and he goes, let's sing a little of that. And the audience had a packet of lyrics of every song that we mentioned and talked about. that we mentioned and talked about. And we would sing the whole song. Okay, now this was a short play, but when you sing every song,

it was two hours and 40 minutes, and there was no introduction. And I said, Chuck, you can't sing every song. It's going to go on forever. He goes, oh, no, no, they'll get angry if they can't sing the song. It went on for two hours and 40 minutes, 10 minutes into the song. It went on for two hours and 40 minutes. Ten minutes into the performance.

Listen to me, how I go up on names. Who was the guy from 60 Minutes who passed away? Mike Wallace? No, no, no. The curmudgeon. Oh, Andy Rooney. Andy Rooney. He's one of Charles Groton's best friends.

He's in the room. Ten minutes. And it's not going well. And he stands up, and he's an aged man, and he just walks across the room, and he just looks over, and as he goes, no. And he just walked out, and he just walked straight out. It was hilarious. And he used to come.

He would come over, and what he would do is every story was his. It was an autobiography, but he wouldn't acknowledge that it was. But they're all stories. We would sit at the kitchen table for hours. We didn't even finish reading the play. We would read a part. He goes, you know, Rich, this really happened.. And he would also talk about, he does things that are so truly humanitarian. I'm not kidding. Truly getting people off. He makes it his mission to get those who are wrongly accused off of death row or out of jail. Spends hours. Yeah, I know. He's devoted a lot of his life to that. Devoted, money, everything. We'll be the first to tell you about it. However, he walks the walk, and you would never think this. And he'd go, yeah, I just came from the mayor's office. And you'd go, oh, my God. And this is what he does. He's a man of principle.

Truly. And funny. And also, did you ever see the Paul Simon special that he directed? The Paul Bridge Over Troubled Water Simon special? I have a copy of it. I probably have. I'll get it to you. It's great.

Wow, I'd love it. Is he in it? Yes. Yes, but it's typical Charles Grodin stuff where he just keeps interrupting and walking out and breaking up the takes. Kind of like when he hosted SNL. Oh, yes. And he was a big pain in the ass. Oh, yeah, and he's so not that at all.

He's just a great, lovely guy. The talk show character. And we would just sit there for hours and he would talk and he's so not that at all. He's just a great, lovely guy. And we would just sit there for hours, and he would talk, and he was just great. And so we got to know each other. Hey, and say no if you want to. Go ahead. You want to blow me?

No. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. You wrote a letter to a guest that we were trying to get. Yeah. Can I read that letter? I mean, I just think it's a magnificent letter and shows how you really understood this show. Yeah, but it's more about me and it's not really about you if you read the letter. Read it.

I don't care,. Read it. Yeah. I don't care, but read it. Yeah. Don't read it on my time. Read it on one of your little half-hour things. Oh, okay. Okay. I got lots to say.

I don't want to hear that. All right. Yeah. I'm just saying you truly, truly got the point of this. Yeah. Yeah, that was great to read. I'll tell you the thing, and I've said this, is that when you had Butch Patrick on. Oh, yeah.

I thought, you know what? Okay, Butch Patrick isn't Eddie Munster anymore. He certainly doesn't have the fame that Butch Patrick has on. Why the fuck are you going to mess around with his life? Let him live his life. And I thought you were going to be snarking. The most wonderful interview. There was nothing underhanded or snarky

or mean-spirited. Getting him here... I burped again. Getting Butch Patrick here was all because you wanted to shake hands with Butch Patrick. Absolutely. Or talk to Eddie Munster. That's what this show's about.

But that's not who Butch Patrick is. That's who Butch Patrick was at nine years old. You grow up, you do things, you evolve. But you had him here as Eddie Munster. But he's not Eddie Munster anymore. But you were appreciative of what he had done since. Oh, yeah. And I think that's a testament to the show

and it's the opposite of what I thought that you were after and why the show was created. And it's funny because a couple of the guests we've asked I think have been scared. Of course. Yeah. There's a little of that. They were going to be the punchline of a gag.

Of course. Yes, which is what I, exactly. We've had to do some reassuring to get some people in. I mean, look, your most famous thing is either the – well, the Aflac, but not really. It's the Twin Towers or the – Aristocrats. Or the aristocrats. So you are going after just how far can I push you, just how deep is this button that I have to push.

And therefore, it's what we expect of you. That's what you're known for. Look, I remember I told you, do you bangy lips? Oh, yes. I remember that. Oh, with the restaurant trays. Yes, yes. 12 o'clock at night at the improv when I was a kid and I remember. And we're all there. And you were defiant.

I know I said it before. Defiant. You were defiant. Ah, fuck you, audience. I'm doing this. And I don't care if you laugh because this is just funny. And eventually it will become funny to the world. You may not think.

And nobody thought it was funny. I'm telling you, nobody. You were dreadful that night as far as the audience. But to me, you were great. You were the greatest. I love the way he says he was a kid. Oh, yes. I was.

We were all, oh my God. Like meeting Buster Keaton. No, but since Gilbert brought it up, we have to thank you for that. And you sent us an email and you said, I love the show and I'd love to help you get people on the show. And we were really grateful. And some of those people I'd like to mention and ask you about. Go ahead.

Like M. Emmett Walsh, for one. Oh, Emmett. Oh, I got stories. Now, M. Emmett Walsh, does he hate the Jews? Probably. Oh, God. But Emmett is one of the great, great guys of the world. First of all, a boxer.

We love him. A boxer when he was young. A superior single-digit golfer. Superior athlete. You wouldn't think it, but he was. Now, I'm doing a show in Vancouver, and it goes very long, and we have to stay in Vancouver on Christmas Eve to get the rest of the things. So we're going to go out that night for Christmas dinner at around 9, 10, 11 o'clock at night.

We get the whole cast together. I call Emmett. I go, are you coming? And he goes, David Soule was on this show. He goes, is David Soule coming? And I go, yeah, the whole cast. He goes, I ain't going if David Soule is going. That guy's going to start talking.

He'll get drunk. He'll never shut up. Now I'm staying in my room. I mean, he just called it as it lay. Wow, Unsub. Unsub, yes. Which was, did I talk about this? No, I just dug it out.

Okay, Unsub was. Stephen Cannell. Was Stephen Cannell. Stephen Cannell. Cannell. Stephen Cannell had a show, and this was the first of the, like, procedural shows, but this is back in the 80s, okay? Written by the guys who wrote Wiseguy. If you remember

the show Wiseguy? Oh, yeah. Sure, with Ken Wall. Ken Wall, Kevin Spacey, sort of got his start as a villain in that. Right, right, right. Jerry Lewis did, like, a couple of them. He did! That's right. Jesus, you're just great, Gilbert. You're just great. Gilbert. You're just great.

You are, but you're absolutely right. You could take the rest of the week off, Gilbert. Wow. Yes, he did. So wise guy, very adult show.

Okay. Stephen Cannell has a meeting with Brandon Tartikoff about a show of FBI troop or whatever who are going to chase serial killers

based on the book Manhunter of which Hannibal Lecter. Oh, sure. Okay. And Michael Mann made a good Manhunter movie too. Yes, so it's Manhunter. Right. It's based on the book.

Thomas Harris. They're the FBI unit prior to Silence of the Lambs that are going to go chase these serial killers. Brandon Tartikoff, talking to Cannell, thinks he's going to get the A-Team. Okay, funny, funny show. Oh, good, they're all going to go and chase serial killers.

Well, the first episode was a guy named Paul Guilfoyle who's now on a wonderful – you should get him. I know the name. Paul Guilfoyle. You'll look at him and you'll go, oh, my God. Yes. He's been on everything. Anyway, Paul Guilfoyle puts a razor blade in the heel of women's shoes. He's a cobbler.

Puts a razor in the heel. They bend over in pain, and he stabs them in the back of the neck. Oh, my God. That's how he kills the women. This guy, Paul Guilfoyle, runs home to Grace Zabriskie. You remember Grace Zabriskie? Sure, sure. She plays his mother.

She's lying in a bathtub, spread eagle with her legs on the outside of the tub, soap all around. And he goes, Mom, Mom, I just like that. And he sees his mother like that. And these demons come to him. OK, it's a horrific, horrific, bloody, gory show. It's horrible. And Brandon Tartikoff thinks he's getting the A-team. So we do like six of the episodes. They go and they show the first episode to Brandon Tartikoff.

Happens to be the day after they showed the Geraldo Rivera thing on Witchcraft. Do you remember that? Oh, yes. I remember. It was a controversy. It's a big thing. Our network's coming to this. Yes.

Brandon Tartikoff is on NBC, is getting attacked by the media, and they're showing him the first episode of Unsub. He sees this kid running in to see his mother spread eagled in the bathtub and he stands up in the middle of the screening and he goes, what the fuck are you trying to do? Bring

down this network single-handedly and we knew that it was 11 and out. That was the end of Unsub. But there's a guy named Peter Roth who runs television for Warner Brothers. And he ran Cannell at the time. And every time I see him, he hugs me and he goes, Rich, we were the first. Because we were the first to do a procedural. And what an interesting cast, too.

Oh, it was David Soule, M. Emmett Walsh. It was from Adam 12. Who's the guy? McCord. Kent McCord. Kent McCord. Kent McCord almost got in a fist fight with Emmett Walsh on the set. Now, Kent McCord is this beefy, handsome, chiseled guy.

And Emmett thought he was a terrible actor. And he just goes oh Angela and they almost started a fist fight and Emmett had to apologize I was with Emmett once where he invited me to go, a guy had invited me to go golfing and

Emmett refused to play with this guy because he was a slow player and he goes if you think I'm going to play with this no talent hack because he was an slow player and he goes if you think i'm gonna play with this no talent hack because he was an actor who never got work and uh and it said it in front of everybody and you know who was to signed everybody in gidget's father don who oh god don um uh what's his name oh god okay not don gordon no but white hair white short crop, white hair. So he signs everybody in and he called Emmett and he said, Emmett, you've got to apologize. Don Porter.

Don Porter. Yes, Don Porter. So he says, Emmett, you've got to call him. You've got to apologize to him. And he goes, I ain't apologizing to that sycophantic, no talent like that. I mean, and he goes, if you don't apologize, you're not allowed to play golf in this group anymore. And he goes, well, I'm not going to play golf. That's what kind of guy Emmett Walsh was.

We'd love to have him. So he'll take no shit from us. Oh, I'll call Emmett. I'll get him. He was on your list. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to.

He, like, specialized in, like, the good old boy who you knew was, like, the sleaziest, most unhandy guy. Yeah, but simple. Of course. But great in comedies, like The Jerk, too. Oh, yeah. Just great. Great in comedies. Oh, most unhandy guy. Yeah, but simple. Of course, but great in comedies like The Jerk, too. Oh, yeah. Just great, great in comedies. Oh, he's a great guy. Great guy.

Great actor. That small scene in Raising Arizona. He's one of those character actors. Watch him in anything. Yeah, and they always seem to raise the movie up. Absolutely, but I like to think of myself as maybe somebody who can do that, is that if the material's materials there can raise it.

But I'm delusional. I got a bunch of weird stuff here. You want to talk about being directed by Robert Conrad early in your career? Yeah. Did I not tell you that one? No. I sure did. I didn't.

You did not. I found it. God, I just tell these stories. I'm sorry. You're not. I found it. God, I just tell these stories. I'm sorry. You're going to hear it somewhere. Okay. Bob Conrad is directing a thing called Two Fathers Justice with George Hamilton. Oh, love him too.

Okay. Why don't you get him? We're working on it. George Hamilton, very smart. Working on it. Much smarter than you'd think. Perfect guest for us. Yeah.

Working on it. Yeah, he knew them all. I mean, best friends with Elizabeth Taylor. He was her escort. He's a brilliant guy. Philadelphia guy. Yeah, he knew them all. I mean, best friends with Elizabeth Taylor. He was her escort. He's a brilliant guy, Philadelphia guy. Oh, very smart. Also funny. Yeah, and very, very funny.

Yeah. So they're doing it. I get cast as this lawyer. Okay. Now, Sunday morning, I'm working at Second City at the time. It's my first movie. There is a restaurant way, way, way, I guess it must be west because the lake is east. So it must be way west in some suburb.

It takes an hour to get to. But a friend of his has a restaurant out there. We're going to have a meet and greet and read the script. Okay? It's Sunday morning, 10 o'clock in the morning. Why are you going to have it at 10 o'clock in the morning? We get there. There's TV sets all around because,

uh, WGN at that time. Oh, out of Chicago. Yeah. Showed repeats of the wild, wild West. Love it.

Can you imagine? So we're eating breakfast while wild, wild West is because there wasn't tape at that time. It was showing repeats of the show. He then gives a talk and he says, first of all, you got to move that paper because I see my face and I just can't. This image is distracting. It's my headshot and I can't look at it. Because I keep wondering every time I see my go, really? You chose acting as a profession?

So you want your face on film? Alright, so he says, he goes, alright, when you show up on this set, I don't want to see any scripts. I want every line memorized backwards and forwards. I don't want you holding us up because you don't know your lines. Well, I come in

and I'm the lawyer and I got a chunk, a chunk of your honor. This is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we so so I come in. We we do a rehearsal and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It just comes out of my mouth. And he looks at George Hamilton because, wow, that kid's great. He knows his lines.

And so that's what it was. But I mean, it was really one of those. You better come in. And then I remember Byrne Piven. Do you remember Byrne Piven? Is he Jeremy Piven's dad? Happens to be Jeremy Piven, a great actor. Great character.

Out of Chicago? Yes. He was also Uncle Ben in all the Uncle Ben things. And he's a great guy. But he tended to be, to act on film like he was on stage. He was huge. I see. And you're out of order and whatever.

Okay. Kind of like what Bjerko says about your performance. Yes, right. Yeah. So he just gives the most over-the-top reading of lines and they all cut. And Bob Conrad goes, Jesus, that guy is great. Like that. It's what I remember. He's still around, Robert Conrad. Yeah. Jesus, that guy is great. Like that. It's what I remember.

He's still around, Robert Conrad. Yes, he is. I know. I wonder. Us too. I do. There's a lot of people like that. Yeah, yeah.

And we'd love to talk to them, and we're wondering what kind of shape they're in. He was very nice. Very nice. Huge anti-Semite. You're just doing a callback. Yes. I kid. Yes, I kid. Yes, go ahead. Now, you must have seen the horrible movie version of Wild Wild West.

I actually never did. But M. Emmett Walsh is the conductor. He is. Yes, yes. There you go. No, I heard it was so bad. There's a connection. And I loved.

You know, oh, now that I think of it. You know, when I was a kid, I never watched our shows. I never did. The only hour show that I ever watched was Marcus Welby. Interesting. But I watched Wild Wild West now that I think of it. Yeah. But I've never seen Star Trek.

I've never seen Bonanza. I've never seen any of those. Outer Limits. But that's not really an hour show. That's just a show that's not really an hour show that's just a show that happened to be an hour well I had queued up

these 60s TV theme songs to try to I hope I'm good to try to stump you do you want to try it or do you want to just pass up on it

I mean you can ask me trivia but will I know theme songs I don't know I don't know I probably I might

Frankie you want to try a few on this man if it doesn't work well shit can't but you'll know it won't you. I probably, I might. Frankie, you want to try a few on this man? Yeah, but what if I don't? If it doesn't work, we'll shitcan it. But you'll know it, won't you? You'll know them all. Gil, you can try. You can compete against each other.

You'll sing along with them even if they don't have lyrics. Yes. None of these have lyrics. Oh, okay. Here's the first one. Lost in Space. No. One Step Beyond?

No, it was a daytime show. Oh, Doc Shatters. You both got it at the same time. Very good. Very good. Very good. Yeah, Doc Shatters. Now, that's weird.

That was a soap opera. Yeah. But I didn't like soap operas, and everybody was watching it at the time. So I started watching it, and I just said, no, no, no, no, no. Not for me. Yeah. Gil loved it. Yeah.

Well, you liked the Barnabas. I love the fact that it had monster, anything with monsters. I know, but it was... Yeah, go ahead. It was like, I mean, a horrible, horrible... It looked like it was made for 8 Cents. Oh, yes.

But we couldn't know that at the time. I mean, I remember... There was one time watching it and there was a guy making a speech and a fly. Oh, that's hilarious. Buzzing around his face. And he's like trying to blow the fly away, like going. Oh, that's hilarious. Well, you see, you liked monsters.

I did not. I got scared. And I remember Eddie Milner had a birthday party, okay? And they had one of those projectors. Uh-huh, you know, the reel-to-reel thing. Yeah, sure. And they had a Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee movie that they were showing. And I had to watch it because my peers were around. I remember shitting my pants.

How interesting. I was so scared. And then I remember the movie that got me out of it was a movie called The Bird with the Crystal Plumage. I know the title. Now, it wasn't a horror movie, but everybody was going to see that. And I said, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it.

I thought it was a monster movie. was going to see that and I said, I don't want to see it, I don't want to see it. I thought it was a monster movie and my mother just in essence said,

don't be so gay. And forced me to go to the movie and I liked it more than anybody else. Girl with a Crystal Plumage. Yeah, Bird with a Crystal Plumage, which wasn't a horror movie

and then I've liked horror movies ever since. Let's try another one. Okay. See what you guys do with this one. Frankie? Here's round two. Let's try another one. Okay. See what you guys do with this one. Frankie? Here's round two.

See who gets it first. John Williams. Is this Lost in Space? No. Battlestar Galactica? Gil? It's a hard one. Land of the Giants.

Oh, my God! An Irwin Allen show. Oh, my God! You remember it? Yeah, I do. And you know what? Here I say, what a liar I am. I'm hearing that.

I was going to say Time Tunnel, which is another hour show. You were right in the ballpark. Friday, it's 8 or 9 o'clock. Did I tell you the story about because of Time Tunnel? Who's the woman on Time Tunnel? She was Miss America. Leigh Merriweather? Leigh Merriweather. Okay.

Did I tell you this story? You told us that one. The one with Frank O'Letter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You stumped me, and then you gave me grief. Which also reminds us we have to get James Darin on the show. Yeah, well, James Dar yeah. Okay. Yeah, that you didn't know. You stumped me. Yeah, you didn't know Frank O'Leary. And then you gave me grief. Right, right, right. Which also reminds us we have to get James Darin on the show. Yeah, well, James Darin said he'd do it. Oh, yeah. We just have to close on that one. James Darin would be great.

He'd be perfect for us. He's got a singing career. I wonder why he gave up. I mean, did movies give him up or did he just not do it anymore? I mean, he was, you know, a couple of hit wonders for three or four years. Yeah. But was not bad, I suppose. We met him at the Chiller in Jersey, and he said he'd do it.

Frankie, what about number three while these guys are on a roll? Round three? I think I got a comment. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Before you start. Okay, hold on. Can you sing the theme song to My Favorite Martian?

No. Wait a minute. I don't know why, but it came into my head one time. There were no lyrics. No. Okay. That's it. I don't know why, but it was the hardest.

I started singing it one day. I started going, and I don't know where I came from. Man, I couldn't pull that one out. And I had to really memorize it in my head. That's good shit. Okay, go ahead, Frank. I might have a sitcom or two in here. Go ahead, Frank.

Oh, I know this. Oh, Jesus. Oh, it's not. Oh, Jesus. Oh. Is it? It's not. Oh. God. Does it sound familiar?

Yes. It's like a Western. No, I know it. It's not a Western. It's a sitcom. No, I know it. It's a romantic comedy. Oh, God.

Give me the initials. It was based on a movie with Rex Harrison. Oh, goes to Mrs. Muir. Right. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Charles Nelson Reilly. Oh, yes. It was. Right. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Charles Nelson Reilly. Oh, yes. And Rita Shaw. And Rita Shaw. Very good. And Edward Mulhare. Yeah. Yeah.

You remember Edward Mulhare? Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah, he died. Edward Mulhare. Yeah, he was a funny guy. Was he a funny guy? Yeah.

How do you know? I don't know. Okay. He hated the Jews. Hated the Jews. Yeah. Fucking anti-Semite from the word go. I don't know that he was funny.

But hating the Jews. But hating the Jews. We're laying our life on it. I think I got three more. Frankie, go through them quick. I spy. Ah, very good Gilbert

never shot no wasting time I always remember it was a split screen and there'd be action on the bottom part and on the top would be

Robert Culp's eyes reacting very good smiling getting scared all I remember is them playing tennis. I've never seen the show. Produced by?

Oh, Sheldon Leonard. Yeah. I mean, they really came to the rescue of Bill Cosby and Blacks because Robert Culp said, I won't do it. Sheldon Leonard, certainly probably a commie or a red.

Sheldon Leonard and I'm just throwing that out but probably probably and you know Culp we'll ask Carl Reiner Culp who was not an experienced actor back then I think was learning how to act from Culp uh Bill Cosby Bill Cosby I mean yes you're probably right Bill Cosby seemed like he was learning to act from Robert Culp because he seemed to, like, imitate Robert Culp. That's interesting. Very interesting. And yet Bill Cosby was the one who won the Emmy. Yeah.

That's interesting, too. Yeah. I know. Okay, Frankie. And Robert Culp, I remember he was in One Step Beyond or Outer Limits. Oh, he's in The Demon with the Glass Hand. Yes. We talked about that one.

And he's also in one where he has to pretend to be an alien who's taking over the world. Was that Outer Limits? Yeah. I think it was the Outer Limits. Oh. And to bring all the Earthlings together. We'll throw that out to our listeners. Yeah.

See if anybody knows that. By the way, that is the hilarious thing is when I'm listening and you say something that's wrong or you say, oh, this and this. And I go, no, no. Like I'm talking to you guys. Yes, yes. And then I go, don't worry. There are legions of people who are going to take care of you. They correct us fast.

We get one letter wrong in a name. It's the truth. They come at us. I know. And the sad thing is, I mean, I'm that idiot who's along with them. And because I have, Dara, and your email, and yours, Frank, I want to email you and I just go, just don't, Richard. You're not that important.

Everybody else is writing to the website. You don't have to be special and write to them personally. You can write to us anytime. I know, but I don't. You know, I just don't. And I heard Robert Culp was an old monster movie fan. That's interesting. Was he?

Yeah. Well, you can't ask him. Okay, you say yes he is. I'm going to say no he isn't. But he hated the Jews. That seems to be a motif. I think there's two more. Who doesn't?

Frankie. I know this. Is that Farmer's Daughter? No. I believe it was the same studio that was making I Spy, Desilu. There's a hint. It was a Desilu show making I Spy, Desilu. There's a hint. It was a Desilu show? In fact, Desi created the show.

Oh. Well, it can't be the one with Robert Stack. No. It's a sitcom. God, I know it. Yeah. I know it. Roger C. Carmel?

Oh, The Mother's-in-Law? The Mother's-in-Law. Oh, wow. Well, I did not miss one of those. There you go. I wanted to be everybody on that show. Eve Arden, Kay Ballard. I wanted to be Eve Arden.

I wanted to be Kay Ballard. I wanted to be Roger C. Carmel. And Herb, what was her? Herbert Rudley. Herbert Rudley. Yeah. And, I mean, they were my kind of actors. Because I remember the-

And Jerry somebody as- Jerry Fogle? Yes, I think you're right. As the son-in-law. Yeah. I remember the Untouchables. The theme was- Wasn't that a Desilu show, too?

Yes, yes. Who played Al Capone? Oh, God! One of my favorite names in the world. It comes off the tongue very easily. Give us initials. O-N-P. The name will not come to you easily.

It's not Nehemiah Persoff. It is. Yes. No, it's not. No. No, it's not. No. No.

He would have been great. Just to say his name because you gave me NP. It's not Nehemiah Persoff. It's another guy with a very pointy nose. God. Oh. I'm wrong. God, this is going to kill me when you say it. All right, we'll go on to another song. I'll look it with a very pointy nose. God. Oh, I'm wrong. God, this is going to kill me

when you say it. We'll go on to another song. I'll look it up. Okay. Hold on. Let me tell you something about the Untouchables. Yes. I was having a bike race when I was about five or six years old down the streets of Trenton, New Jersey, Abernathy Drive. And my wheel on my bike turned into Bruce Stearns. Okay? Bruce fell on the grass. I fell on the sidewalk. I broke my nose. I have a deviated septum because of it. I was in pain.

I was a kid. It was the latest I ever stayed up. Untouchables was on at 10 o'clock at night, and I watched it, okay? It was on because I was in pain, and I got to stay up. It happened to be a two-parter. So the cliffhanger was the bad guy was winning.

What's going to happen next week? Well, I never saw part two. So to me, Al Capone won because I never saw the next part. And I'm telling you, I was five or six. It haunts me to this day. And when you think of black and white and gangsters, and I'm not used to watching this, to this day, I keep thinking of that. Wow. Yeah, that's just a little psychological insight.

And it's so funny. That could never happen now. Now you watch your show whenever you feel like it. That's the truth, yeah. But I couldn't stay. I couldn't watch part two. Plus, I might have been alone at the time watching. I don't think I was.

But, yeah, I watched The Untouchables, seeing gangsters and violence. Oh, yeah. And at the break, the bad guys were winning, and it just terrified me. Terrified me. Let's see. So would his first name have been Nathan? No, no, no. Nehemiah Persoff is who I'm thinking of, but that's not the guy.

Oh. And you'll know who the guy is. I'm looking here. He sort of looks like that guy's... I see his face. I got it. Yeah, it is NB. He was in the famous Twilight Zone episode with George Takei, where he was the angry

war veteran. Oh, and he... And he always looks sort of down. Neville Brand. Neville Brand. Thank you. Neville Brand. Neville Brand. Oh, God.

Very good. Yes. Very good. Yes. You want to take a shot at these last two? Okay, yeah. Is this fun at all? Yeah.

Guys at home, is this fun? I don't know. I'm having a blast. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Plus, there's prompting stories from you guys. All right. Go ahead.

Go ahead, Frank. All eyes on Richard for this one. This isn't Lost in Space. That's what I thought. But you mentioned it, and we've been talking about it. Time Tunnel. Yeah, it is the Time Tunnel. Oh.

Well, they're also Irwin Allen-y. Was this William Stew? I think so. He has that sound that I love John Williams' composition. By the way, do you know the little thing about John Williams? You know, he started out as a studio pianist.

A studio penis? Otherwise known as a porn star. A studio pianist. Yes. Okay. What is this theme song? Do you know what that theme song is?

It sounds familiar. It's a theme to To Kill a Mockingbird. Oh, wow. The piano. That was John Williams. Nice. Playing that. Wow.

Was it you that was saying that he did some old Corman movies in the early days? Did he? John Williams? No, I don't know about John Williams. He probably did. Was it Henry Mancini? Henry Mancini. Oh, Henry Mancini.

I got him mixed up. He did a lot of like these low-budget science fiction films. He did, huh? Yeah. You know who sang his last soundtrack, his last composition for anything? Can you name one artist who sang? Mancini? Yeah, Mancini's last score.

Gosh, I really should know this. You do know him because his name has been mentioned in this room. Last score. You got a year? No. But I'll know it. It was before he died. Keith Brazell? Richard Kind.

Richard Kind? He scored a movie called Tom and Jerry the Movie. Oh, wow. And I was the only voice that Tom and a young actress named Dana Hill. Remember Dana Hill? Sure. She was in the Vacation movie. Yes.

She was Jerry and I was Tom the Cat. The only time that Tom and Jerry ever talked, I'm the voice of Tom. She was the voice of Jerry. And Henry Mancini did the score. And I sang, We two were two of a kind, much of a mind.

We really go together. What an honor. Peaches and cream. Boy, what a dream! You'll never, I don't know what the hell it is. I remember doing a Phil Collins special. Yeah? And I... Really? You've been holding out

on me. Is that true? Phil Collins? Yeah, I was on it with Vanessa Williams. We played his agents. A fever dream. And I remember being on the set, and Henry Mancini stopped by. Wow. And Phil Collins grabbed his son, and he said,

I just want you to say hello to Henry Mancini. I want you to shake hands. That's a cool thing. Yeah. I often stop. I often take my kids over and I will say, you're meeting this person now. Please say hello. Later on, the day will come when you will want to know that, oh, I've met that person.

Yeah. I was nominated for a Tony. I took my daughter to the thing. She's sitting next to, oh, he's such a wonderful guy. Who's the guy who played Spock in the most recent Star Trek? Oh,

tell me, tell me. Oh, God, we've had him on the show. No, no, no. No, no. On my other show. Yeah, young guy. Quinto,

Zachary Quinto. There's no nicer guy, great actor, wonderful in, that's my answer, great actor. And she'sinto. There's no nicer guy. Great actor. Wonderful in Glassman. He's a great actor. And she's sitting next to him for the whole show. And she doesn't know who the hell he is. She was too young. And then finally she sees Star Trek. And I go, that's who you sat next to at the Tony. Why didn't you tell me at the time?

She met Cicely Tyson. She met Bernadette Peters. Wow. Met all these people who I know or something. And Michael, what do you call it, from Seinfeld. Richards. Yeah, Michael Richards. So they met. And met Tom Stoppard.

She's not going to know them now. But I say remember this moment. So I met. Okay. But here's a – I wanted to tell you a story about Tom and Jerry at the reading. Okay. Tom and Jerry, I got. Okay. Tom and Jerry, I gotta have ADD so bad.

And you know, it's one of the great guys. Join the club. Do you know, and I'm not gonna remember his name and he's such a dad. Do you know Kathy and Jimmy's husband, Dan? Oh, from the Dan band?

From the Dan band. Yeah, Dan Finnerty. Yeah, great. There's a nice man. He's a talented guy. And you'll start a story and then you get interrupted or something like that. He will not leave a conversation until all the stories are wrapped up.

I love that. Isn't that fantastic? You're bringing me back to L.A. He used to play at Largo. Yeah. He used to play with the Dan band. He'll play here. He'll play down on 14th Street.

Talented guy. And a great guy. Very, very funny. Good actor, too. Both of them are great. Anyway, we're having the read-through, a meet and a read guy. Very, very funny. Good actor, too. Both of them are great. Anyway, we're having the read-through, a meet and a read-through of Tom and Jerry the movie. So you got Rip Taylor. How about Rip Taylor?

Working on him. Yes. Rip Taylor. Working on him. He's in progress. Oh, God. Henry Gibson and Howie Morris. Okay.

Can you imagine? So I'm in this room and I'm looking at all these people and everything. And then I look over and sitting on the couch is Howie Morris, okay? Can you imagine? So I'm in this room, and I'm looking at all these people and everything, and then I look over, and sitting on the couch is Howie Morris, and I look over, and by chance, he catches that I've caught him, and he catches my eye. And from across the room, he screams, I'm going to get away from the microphone. He goes, you, you.

And I go, me? He goes, you, come here. And I walk across the room. He goes, sit down. I sit down and he goes, ask me anything you want. You both got, you both got called out across a crowded room by Howard Morris. I was at an autograph signing thing, which Frank drove me to. Yeah, back in 96. And I'm walking along, and I didn't see him or anything. And I hear, I walk by a table, and someone screams out, it's that loudmouthed fucking Jew. Oh, great. And I turn around, it's that loud mouth fucking Jew. Oh, great.

And I turn around, it's Howard Morris. Do you often answer to that, by the way? Do you often turn when you hear someone randomly shout that? It was on his name tag. An episode you haven't heard yet, speaking of Howard Morris. We had Mr. Reiner here for an hour and a half. Oh, yeah. He's terrific.

You know, that's somebody who I wanted to be because of the Smothers Brothers show. I thought he was the best guest on the Smothers Brothers. Really? Yeah, he was on the Smothers Brothers show about three times. And not because he created it, because I was too young to know what a creator of a show was. He was, you know, Carl Reiner, the writer. Who the hell cares? And I didn't know show of shows by then.

And, you know, but he was a guest on The Smothers Brothers, and he was great. And that's how I really remember. And I've gotten very lucky to meet him a few times. Terrific guest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For us. But the thing about, and what do you think I asked Howie Morris about? What did you ask him?

What do you think? Uncle Goopy. Uncle Goopy. Oh, God. That's the first thing I'd ask. Exactly. I go, did you know at the time just how great? And I know every one of your listeners knows this is your story sketch.

Yeah. But if anybody's listening who has not seen that sketch, it's the finest. And yet, they cut for commercial and then they come back with the original. And it's just not as good. Well, it must be available on DVD. No, what I'm saying is when your show of shows cut the commercial and they come back

and they have... It's not as good as the brilliance of the first part. They don't sustain it because it gets broken up a little bit. Interesting. Yeah, it's not as good as the brilliance of the first part. They don't sustain it because it gets broken up a little bit. Interesting. Yeah, it is. But boy, that thing, even the guy, when he puts his head down, when Sid Caesar faints on the guy, the guy next to him is fantastic.

And he's, who the hell, he's nobody. He's a guy who happened to be sitting there. I don't think he's an actor. Well, Carl told us it just ran long. He had no idea that Sid was going to run through the audience like that. He didn't? No, and that they were going to chase him and tackle him. And that Sid would be beating the guy with his coat.

And he's the strongest guy in the world, according to Mel Brooks. That's right. So, oh my gosh. That's right. And I remember Howard Morris was Jerry Lewis's father in The Naughty Professor. Very good. Brilliant, brilliant. He's hysterical.

Brilliant. Very good. And great on. But he also directed a great movie that not a lot of people know. Do you guys know? That's correct. Who's Minding the Mint? The Mint.

Who's Minding the Mint? Not Who's Minding the Store. I was going to cry. I got confused. Yes, yes. Who's Minding the Mint? Jim Hudson. Who's Minding the Store was Jerry.

Yes. Right. Who's Minding the Mint? It also has Joey Bishop. Right. It might have Milton Berle. And the great anti-Semite, I think, Walter Brennan. Might be.

I think so. I think he might be. I think so. The great anti-Semite, Walter Brennan. And Jamie Farr. Really? We have Jamie coming up, too, by the way. That's great.

Great. Lovely guy. Now that you started singing, do you guys— Oh, that's another thing. Paul Reiner, great singer. Yeah, he sang an aria for us. Really? Yeah.

He did. He wanted to be—he loved Caruso as a kid, and he wanted to be—his original ambition was to be an opera singer. Was to be a singer. Yeah. Well, when he was a little kid, he wanted to grow up to be an Irish tenor. Wow. But he was disabused of that notion. Wow. Well, when he was a little kid, he wanted to grow up to be an Irish tenor. But he was disabused of that notion. Wow. Well, that's like

Paul Reiser. You ever hear Paul Reiser play the piano? No. He went to school to be a pianist. No idea. Oh, he's great. A big, hairy pianist. He wanted to be a throbbing pianist.

Did you ever see Enter Laughing? Yes. Oh, yeah. Sure. Do you know why? Rainy Stone Tony. Yes, it is. Now, I did the musical version of that, which was originally called So Long 149th Street or something like that.

And then they revived it recently as Enter Laughing, the musical. But do you know why David Kalowitz is the name of the kid and not Carl Reiner in the book? It's because his mother couldn't read. Oh, yes. He told us that. Yeah. Lovely. Oh, well, then I won't take it away.

No, he told us that story. Lovely of you to remember that. You have a glazed look on your face. Jerry Lewis. You were a glazed look on your face. Jerry Lewis. You were just thinking about the comic at the time. Jerry Lewis is a story in one of Carl's books that Jerry Lewis called him and said he wanted to play David in Enter Laughing. But he was like 37 at the time. Yeah.

Do you guys want to attempt something before we go out? We know you have to go to dinner. I don't have to anything. Weren't you going to name some people and talk? Oh, you want to do that? Yeah, I don't want to attempt something before we go out? We know you have to go to dinner. I don't have to anything. Weren't you going to name some people and talk? Oh, you want to do that? Yeah, I don't want to. Don't sing. You don't want to sing?

Well, I'd like to hear you sing. You played Nathan Detroit, so. Well, I played. Oh, no. I was in the New York City Opera. Yes. I knew that, too. Yeah, but I'm not going to dare sing because I don't want to sing.

You like when he sings on the show? Oh, my God. I love it. You're in the minority. I do. I mean, but like Charles Grodin, he thinks that we're going to get angry that he sings the whole song. I'll take half the song. Right.

But he sings the whole song. I listen. The next time you come back, we'll make you sing. So we'll just throw some names at you. And these were, I was reading some the way, did you ever hear Craig Bierka sing? I saw him live. I saw him in The Music Man. I did not see him in Guys

and Dolls, regrettably, but I saw him in The Music Man. Okay, he was good in Guys and Dolls. Yeah, I would love to have seen that. Oliver Platt, another person you should have on the show. Yeah, another Nathan Detroit. Would he do it? I don't know. Are you kidding me?

I can't speak for him. How about Dennis Farina, who you worked with a bunch of times? I did work with Dennis. There is no greater guy, bar none, than Dennis Farina. I will tell you the kind of guy Dennis Farina is. You simply could not pay for anything. He was so grateful to have the paychecks he had, to know that he was in a place in his world, that he was just so grateful. I'd go golfing with him in Vegas. No way I could pay. I once went in

and tried because he picked up, tried to pay for both of us one time and when he found out he got angry and had it ripped up and paid for it. We once went out to dinner with, I was doing this movie with him and the girl from Curb Your Enthusiasm, Cheryl Hines.

And so we're having dinner and we invite Dennis he can't make it so he's gonna come and join us for drinks afterwards. He does. Picks up our dinner. Wow. It was unbelievable. Just like you, Gil.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's just like you. That's how I'm known for. He's known for that. Okay. And I'm going to tell you, this is a hilarious story. Okay.

This is hilarious. The movie that we did together had a gimmick. A gimmick that sounds good but it's not good and it's actually bad it turned out to be a little boring but it sounds good it's a movie about poker

a poker tournament there's six players at the end the grand the grand they make it to the last table what they did was filmed the six of us playing poker like it was a real tournament. It was not written into the script who would win.

So we filmed before that scene was shot, us winning and us losing, okay, up in our rooms, that we were the winners or that we were the losers. But the real tournament took place, Woody Harrelson, Cheryl Dennis, me, whoever, six people, and they filmed the whole thing. And it takes hours to play a tournament. We started, let's say, at 6.30. At 8 o'clock, I have a hand that's pretty good. I have pocket jacks, okay? Pretty good hand to go in on.

I make a bet. Dennis raises with, I think he had 4-9, which is in poker, and hold him. A terrible hand. Not even suited. Not even one of the same. It's a terrible, terrible. I have pocket jacks. He pushes.

He pushes. Or I made a bet. he pushes all in well i call well i won the hand forgive the pun handily he leaves the scene i go to him after after this the movie's wrapped okay he's gone say what the hell were you doing with the 490 goes i'm not gonna win that tournament I had a date waiting for me over some hotel. This is cinema history. He is on cellulite for eternity, and he had a date with some dancer. Hilarious. And he was a former cop. He was a cop in Chicago.

And I saw him in a play called Streamers. He and Dennis Farina, they did a play at, I want to say, Wisdom Bridge or Goodman or something. And it was a famous production, both of them. Dennis Farina and somebody else. And Dennis, Dennis Farina and Dennis Franz. Oh, Dennis Franz. Yeah, you said Dennis Farina. I'm sorry, Dennis Franz.

Yeah. And I believe that they were both in it. And they were both Chicago cops. Right. Who went on to great fame. There was none better than Dennis Farina. Knew he was going to die. They could have kept him alive. He denied everything and said, I will die like a man, like Jimmy Cagney did in – he went off a hero.

He was a great, great man. A guy's guy. Didn't stand for bullshit. He was a great, great man. A guy's guy. Didn't stand for bullshit. He was a great guy. How wonderful is he in Midnight Run? The best. Jimmy Serrato. Oh, yes.

Stick a pencil in your neck. He was a great, great man. And was in luck with me as well. Yes, yes. Yeah. What about Alan Arkin? He was a good guy. I actually turned down playing at Pebble Beach in the golf tournament because I was going to work with Alan Arkin.

And he was really great. And the movie was no good. We knew it was no good. He knew it was no good. I never should take it because I then worked with him later in Argo. Right. And he actually I don't think I'm I'm telling this tale out of school. Don't think I'm telling this tale out of school. His doctor did not let him act anymore because he would get so nervous and have such angst about memorizing the lines that it would do something to him. And so it might raise his blood pressure or something as he got older. Now, he's a fantastic actor. The best.

But he would get – he'd be anxious about memorizing the lines. And his doctor for a while said, you can't act anymore because it's bad for your health. Not because of the acting but because of the memorizing lines. But everything he says, he's one of those guys who can't tell a lie. He tells the truth. And a great, great joke teller. And I'm going to tell you a funny story. I don't think he did the movie, but he calls me up. Now, I don't know him at all, but I get a message on my machine.

Rich, this is Alan Arkin. Listen, can you give me a call? Because I sound more like Jackie Mason. No, it's not bad. But can you give me a call? Because I'm going to be working with a friend of yours. And it was somebody you've worked with. And I just want to know about.

Okay. Oh, Jesus. I work with somebody. So I'm thinking, well, I just did a movie called Obvious Child. Maybe that director, young woman. how is she okay like that? Now, I'm going to preface. I'm going to continue the story with I was at Sundance, and I heard Kevin Pollack do a stand-up act, and he tells a story about calling Alan Arkin.

You've heard this story. He does a perfect Alan Arkin. He does. He actually tells the story of when he called up Alan Arkin as Alan Arkin and said remember to pick up a bread and call Paul Reiser to have lunch. So he does a perfect Alan Arkin. But I look at the thing and the phone number is

in Connecticut, which is where he lives and everything. So I call him back. I go, Alan, it's Richard Kind. Did you want to call me? And he goes, yeah, Richard, I'm going to be working with somebody. I want to know what you think of him. And I go, I can't think of who it could be. Take a guess.

Of all the people in the world, he's calling me to ask about another actor. Me. Now, Alan Arkin knows everybody or has access to everybody in the world. Who do you think the actor was? Gil? No. This one? I couldn't imagine.

No guess. Dustin Hoffman. Oh. Wow. Not me. Dustin Hoffman. Well. You would think their paths had crossed somewhere.

Or. But I didn't really work with him. I worked on the show called Luck. Right. And I acted, not in the same room room but at the same racetrack. I never had any scenes with Dustin. But he's calling me. Wild.

Who the hell am I in the pantheon of actors in Hollywood that he should call me for my opinion? And I said what I said. I said, well, you're going to do a lot of takes. But everybody knows he does a lot of takes. He's great. But Alan, you're Alan Arkin. He loves you. He'll have to love you. And I said, and you're going to swap jokes.

And he tells a good joke, but you tell a better joke. That's what I told him. Another dream guest for this show, Alan Arkin. Tall order. We'll try. We'll try. But I'll tell you something. I wonder how much he'll want to talk about showbiz versus talking about, you know, about philosophies and things.

He's a lovely, lovely – nah, he'll tell jokes. He's a lovely guy. God, he's a great guy. It's interesting. The three of the top guys on our get list, Charles Grodin, Alan Arkin, and Alan Alda, I have a – I know a little bit about each of them. I've met Alan Alda a bunch of times. Right. I have the feeling that show business is the least interesting topic to the three of them.

Alan would come in here and want to talk about science. Right, exactly. He'll talk about math. Right, that's the stage of life that these guys are at, and they've done it. They've been there, done that. And they don't want to talk about the old stories. They want to live. Did you saw, I'll be curious to know, you saw the interview with Jerry Lewis that that reporter did?

Oh, yes. Now, why did you think it was painful? Several reasons. I thought the person was really unprepared. So did I. So I felt bad for her. Me too. Keep going.

Gil? No, I think I'd go along with that. He was ill-prepared. You're coming to see Jerry Lewis. And he doesn't want to talk about his past. Gil? No, I think I'd go along with that. He was ill-prepared. You're coming to see Jerry Lewis, and he doesn't want to talk about his past. Jerry Lewis still thinks he's vital. He does. I mean, you've seen, I saw him at the Friars.

He still goes around talking. He's not dead yet, and he really, look, I'm old, and I think I'm 32, and I'm lying when I say I'm 32 because I really think I'm 27. If I see a beautiful woman, and I'm talking to her, and I think I'm 32. And I'm lying when I say I'm 32 because I really think I'm 27. If I see a beautiful woman and I'm talking to her and I think, oh, maybe I'll get to like Frank Gorshin. Oh, I'll get somewhere. And then I happen to look at my reflection in the mirror. I go, oh, my God. I can't believe that I think that I'm going to get somewhere.

You know? It's like, what am I doing? Well, I mean, Jerry Lewis still thinks that way. He still thinks I'm capable of doing a movie or I'm capable of being someone important or having influence on it. And here comes this schmuck kid. And right from the get-go, you know this kid thinks he's, oh, what am I going to ask about? Hey, lady. You know. And he starts it off with, so, you know. This kid thinks he's, oh, what am I going to ask about? Hey, lady, you know. And he starts it off with, so, you ever going to retire? Right.

What kind of a question is that to ask a legend who still thinks he deserves to be working? And I'm not saying he does or he doesn't, but in his mind, you got to know the ego. And I thought Jerry Lewis was perfection. Fuck that kid. Just fuck him's that's what i feel because he asked it and he sees jerry lewis gets pissed and he keeps asking he keeps asking yeah now yeah uh on the flip side my defense went through some sort of chain that i have with some friends and somebody sent a link of Ricky Gervais interviewing Gary Shandling. Oh, that was a train wreck. Yeah, it sort of was, but it was very interesting to see Gary Shandling's dignity and graciousness in handling Ricky Gervais, who I happened to, I love both of them. Yeah, me too. I love Ricky Gervais,

but it wasn't a train wreck, but it wasn't what it should have been. It was a little uncomfortable. Yeah. I'm overstating it. And Gary Sandling handled himself with aplomb as opposed to Jerry Lewis. However, both – knowing Jerry Lewis, he deserved – you would expect that of him and the kid deserved it. Okay. There you go.

I've said – this is point counterpoint. We got anything else for this man i got so much you want to say some kind words about your friend miguel we lost yeah miguel was a great guy miguel ferrer you know who you're friends with a very long time yeah i was and um uh i'll tell you about i'll tell you a great story that you're going to like a lot. And it involves one of your guests who has been here. And, you know, I'm speaking well of the deceased. But it's sort of funny.

When I first got to Hollywood, I was friends with George. George was my dearest friend and showed me around Hollywood, introduced me to a lot of people. So one afternoon, we're going over to Billy Moomy's house. Wow. Oh, yeah. Billy Moomy's house. He's got a pool. And there's lots of people there.

A guy named David Jolliff, who you might remember from Room 222. Oh, my God. So David Jolliff and Moomy and a lot of Bernie. Yeah. And my friend Ben Weiss. And who else was there? It was just it was great. So it's over there. And George, who was Miguel's cousin, is there.

And so we're all swimming and I'm sitting there and Miguel is over halfway across the yard, changing into his bathing suit. And I am craning my neck to see Miguel change. Okay, nobody sees. And all of a sudden, George goes, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like looking at his camera. I said, well, I heard that Miguel was well endowed.

I said, I heard that Jose was very well endowed. I want to see if Miguel is. And George goes, Miggy, come over here. And needless to say, I miss Miguel. He's a great guy, a great actor, a swell fellow. I didn't go to his memorial because I had to work here in town. And I'm so sorry for him. There's a few guys who have been passing away of late.

A great actor, but you wouldn't know him, named Kevin Gere. But it's tough. I've been hearing. I don't know what it is. It's hard to lose people, too, before their time. Yes. It feels extra unfair. It hit me what Hollywood magic that is, George Clooney and Miguel Ferrer. Oh, my cousins.

Yeah. And Rosie was the Madonna of her time. Sure. Sure, sure. Of her time. Sure. You know, I mean, and, you know, and with Kennedy and stuff like that, it was Bobby Kennedy's death that made her gain 200 pounds. She was depressed. She was flat out depressed. I never knew that. That's interesting.

Flat out clinically depressed by his death and just couldn't tear away. The world was horrible back then with those three deaths. And now, you know. And you had that other interesting connection, which you shared with us on the last show with Jose. With Jose. The first audition. Like I said, yeah.

Yeah. Right? I know. Yeah, I know. Yes, that was real. But that royalty continues because Gabri is a big voiceover guy. You have Debbie Boone who, you know, is a star. Its tentacles went all over.

George's dad was Nick Clooney. Supposedly, it was Betty Clooney, Rosie's sister, who was the one who had the voice. Married to Tito somebody. Who was the – not had the voice married to a Tito somebody who's who was the not Xabi Acuga Tito Puente? No it wasn't Tito Puente

some Latin band leader but she was married to him and she was the one who had the voice and died of a tumor of a brain a brain aneurysm or something

like in her early 30s and she was the great great talent it was tragic. So, yeah, really something. Well, this man has to get to dinner. Well, after talking about that. We didn't mean to bring it down.

Now, you said at the end of the show you'd say, who was the old American father? Yo, let's tell you off, Mike. Who was a chicken hawk? I got a guess, by the way. But I want to guess after we turn the mics off. Guess after. He was a good man. And I don't.

Is he no longer with us? He's no longer with us. Okay, then it's not my guess. Okay. No longer with us. All right. All righty. So we've had a second time.

Aside from our program. I hope you can glean something. Oh, are you kidding? There are gems here. Which convinces me maybe a homeless. No, but you offered me no food at your house. I had to come to Nutmeg to get food. This is the only reason I'm here.

Rich, we could do 40 shows. We never asked you why your character in Scrubs was named Harvey Korman. I know. Was that Bill's joke? Bill Lawrence's joke? No, there's a reason. Okay, take us out with that. There was a girl who wrote for the show whose last name was Korman.

And, oh, I want to say Maddie Korman, but that's, I think it's Maddie Korman. Oh, my God. And she's a lovely person, married to a wonderful comedy writer. She's a great comedy writer of herself. Oh, my God. I can't believe if I didn't get her last name. But her name was spelled with a C. Okay.

And named after her father. Oh. Harvey Korman. Not the Harvey Korman. Named after Harvey Korman. Right. Her father. Right.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's not Maddie Korman. That's another. Oh, my golly. Okay.

We'll put it up. When you tell us who it is, we'll put it up on social media. All right, all right. We'll give her her due. Yeah, but you know what? I don't want to do this again. Have me in with Drew, who I'm dying to meet.

Okay. Dying to meet. Okay. You want to be part of a round table. Like a round table, yeah. Absolutely. I'll do a Charlie Rose style. You don't have to worry about

not doing this again because we're not having you back. And we want to thank you again for not only being a fan of the show but helping us get Tony Roberts and guests to come. And we'll hit you up for M.M. Walsh. Yeah, I'll try and get anybody I can. Because I want to hear. We're grateful. I want to hear these things.

We're grateful to you. Like you had Ronnie Shell. I'm telling you, a hundred times, I've had breakfast with him at this round table. I heard stories that I've never told.

He never told you the Alan Ladd story? Never. Isn't that the greatest? That's great. But you can't imagine the jokes I've heard over and over and over.

But oh my God. Okay, get out of here. Okay, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried. Give me my credits. Wait, before we leave, just give me my here. Okay. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried. Give me my credits. Wait. Before we leave, just give me my credits.

Goodbye. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. We've once again been recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa. Thank you, Frank. Thank you, Frank. Thank you, Frank. And our guest is the person who wrote the song, Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign. The five-man electrical band.

Me and God watching Scotty grow. We got to get Bobby Goldsboro. Yes. Oh, my God. He's on my list And my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard Why does he come up with these? Watching Scotty grow

Hey, how about Tom Smothers? Get Tom Smothers Yeah, we gotta get Tom Get out of here. Enough talk. We love you. Brilliant songwriter. Richard Coyne. Thank you, Bing Bong.

Yeah, right. Thank you.