Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 166. Clint Howard

Episode Date: July 31, 2017

One of the most recognizable character actors of the last half-century, Clint Howard, joins Gilbert and Frank for a highly entertaining look back at his eclectic (and prolific) career, covering everything from his films with B-movie mogul Roger Corman ("Carnosaur," "Rock 'n' Roll High School") to early roles on classic TV programs like "The Fugitive," "Star Trek" and "The Andy Griffith Show." Also, Clint meets Richard Nixon, dines with Dennis Weaver, cuts the rug with Janet Leigh and turns down a part in "The Flintstones." PLUS: "Gentle Ben"! "The Baileys of Balboa"! Ron Howard nabs a Grammy! Clint remembers Jack Elam! And the undersea world of Ivan Tors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With Ancestry, putting together your family story is made easy. Using an intuitive family tree builder, you could discover and preserve new details, photos, and stories about your ancestors. Uncover new relatives and branches of the family with automated Ancestry hints. Connect the dots with access to millions of historical documents. And then share what you find in one central place. Visit Ancestry.ca and start discovering your family story today. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa.

Our guest this week is one of the most visible, popular, and sought-after actors of the last six decades. He's appeared in dozens of TV series, including Gunsmoke, Love American Style, The Odd Couple, The Original Star Trek, Happy Days, Married With Children, Seinfeld, My Name Is Earl, Heroes, Arrested Development, and most notably, The Andy Griffith Show and Gentle Ben. You also know him from the big screen in well-known films like Rock and Roll High School, The Original Jungle Book, Grand Theft Auto, Night Ship, Carnosaur, The Rocketeer, The Waterboy, Get Crazy, Apollo 13, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and Frost Nixon. And that's, as we like to say on this show, barely scratching the surface.

In a long and prolific career that started when he was all of two years old, he worked with Henry Fonda, Gene Arthur, Maureen O'Hara, Red Skelton, William Shatner, Tom Hanks, Michael Keaton, Kate Blanchett, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, and the Ramones, as well as former podcast guests Roger Corman, Joe Dante,

Bernie Capel, and Henry Winkler. He's also shared the screen with some of our favorite character actors, including Paul Ford, Jack Elam, Slim Pickens, Phil Harris, David Jansen, Paul Winchell, and Ben Gazzara. Please welcome to the show and raise a glass of tranya. I think it's tranya. A glass of tranya. A glass of transvestite. To one of show business' most colorful performers and a man who could say he met both Walt Disney and Richard Nixon, Clint Howard.

Wow. Well, thank you, Gilbert. That is an all-timer. I mean, you did barely scratch the surface, but you got a lot of stuff in there. I really appreciate it. You've done a lot. So is there anything else to talk to you about? Yeah. Okay. You actually nailed most of the character actors that I've had a chance to work with. And surprisingly enough, been watching a lot of the old things with like Strother Martin and Slim Pickens.

watching a lot of the old things with like Strother Martin and Slim Pickens. There was an episode from Gentle Ben where Slim Pickens was the guest star. And my grandfather, who had never flown on an airplane before, he was in Kansas and Oklahoma. He flew to visit his son, my dad, and me in Florida. And grandpa had never been on a plane before. He'd never been around show business before. Dad gave the second assistant director $35, which was the fee for an extra. So granddad got to be an extra in the scene with Slim Pickens. And they put granddad right in the money spot behind Slim Pickens. And granddad didn't screw up. He was a good extra. He didn't look at the camera. He was solid. And I now have a legitimate digital memory of my grandfather. And in the past, it's been

still photos. Wow. With slim pick grandpa with slim Pickens. Yeah. And he was a good extra and he had instincts. I'll tell you one, one more thing is that when he got that $35 in his hand, his entire attitude about show business changed. He was always skeptical. And that when he got that $35 in his hand, his entire attitude about show business changed. He was always skeptical. And then until he got the $35 in his hand and he said, well, that's really good business. And now let's talk about, because it is your whole family is in show business. So your father is Rance Howard, character actor. Yep.

And, of course, your brother, Ron Howard, from The Andy Griffith Show and Happy Days. And a million other things. Plus your two nieces now, Paige and Bryce. Well, yes. Bryce is very much a concentrated working actress, and she's been in a couple of huge movies. I think she's a little underrated.

Jurassic World. Yes. Yes, indeed. The greatest grossing movie of all time and they're actually doing a sequel right now. They may be doing two sequels. She's really working hard. Very good, and she just – Paige, it's not a break, but she needs to get that – just the right part and the right – she's not a specific kind of all-American girl type. I think she'll be a comedian, but she's a little edgy. So I wish her the best. I mean I certainly wouldn't recommend being in show business to anybody.

It's way, way, way too – oh, I don't know, insecure. That's a weird thing. Like, people ask me, like, would you want your kids? And it's weird. It's like, to me, I would want my kids in show business if they could be assured by contract that they'll all be big, rich stars immediately. Those are the only terms you'd let your kids go to show business? I want them to face no rejection and no criticism. That's very loving. So you're a loving dad.

So you're really living in a fantasy world. Yes. Why should today be any different? Well, I'll tell you what. I'm actually very fortunate because, you know, first of all, I had a great example, an older brother, Ron, five years older than me, who was doing all the childhood acting things. And it's a little like a kid with an older brother playing sports, playing baseball. I could see him do it. I knew how to do it kind of by him.

And dad, of course, was a mentor. But Ron was a really good example of how to do it. So I had a head start. And I knew about competition. I knew that there, you know, I'd go into an audition and there was going to be, you know, 15 losers and one winner. And I would get hurt emotionally for just about a day when I wouldn't get an audition. Oh, geez. It's interesting because the Howards are kind of an acting dynasty. You guys are a little bit like the Barrymores at this point. Yeah. And, you know, probably in total,

we've been rejected, oh, I don't know, a couple of thousand times in our lives when you total it all up. Mom went on a hundred commercial auditions before she got her first commercial, which was an International House of Pancakes, Rudy Tutti, fresh and fruity commercial. Yeah, but your mom acted quite a bit. She was in Matilda. She's in Roseanne. My mom went on a hundred commercial auditions where they said, thank you very much. Next. And it's Ron Howard's. I mean, she didn't lead with it, but it's kind of apparent, Mrs. Howard. And yet it didn't matter.

This business is rugged. If you're not right, if they're going to if somebody might get fired, if they hire you, they won't hire you. Start off with Ron's first part. Well, Ron was about four years old and he did a movie in Austria called The Journey with Yul Brenner and Deborah Carr. Complete accident that he got in the movie. And it was a one-time thing, but he was a natural. And it was an accident. Dad was making the rounds in New York movie and it was a one-time thing but he was a natural and it was an accident dad was making the rounds in new york and it was it was back in the days when an agent wouldn't make an appointment for you you would just go around yourself and and meet the casting directors

and dad went into a casting director's office and it was a room full of kids and dad left a little note saying i'm sorry i missed you you know we do another time. We'd like to talk to you about a thing you're doing or several parts that this guy was casting. And the guy – and as a PS, dad said, I have a son who is a terrific little actor. Now, dad had been on Broadway in Mr. Roberts. And by osmosis, he just – he played a character named Lindstrom. And it was his big break. But Ron had learned a Doc Pulver scene. So Ron was this little three-year-old kid who could play Pulver and Mr. Roberts. And the casting

director called dad back and says, are you kidding about your son being a good little actor? And dad says, well, see for yourself. And he killed at the audition. And they asked dad, can he learn anything else? And dad goes, well, I don't know. Anyway, they gave him another little scene. He got the part. And they were going to take the money and put it away for college. That was going to be it.

And he just, he was a natural. And he started working. And your first part was on your brother's show. Yeah, we were just talking about that before we turned the mics on. What were you, all of two, Clint? Yes, it was. 1961 was the first time I were you, all of two, Clint? Yes. It was 1961 was the first time I was in an episode of The Andy Griffith Show. And I played a character called Leon.

Yeah, sure. And just recently I saw my very first setup. And I actually, if you look real close, I blink as an actor because I get picked up. And it's obviously about the third or fourth time we had done the setup. Because you could see that I was kind of reacting. My reflexes were to react to this guy getting ready to pick me up. I held it just long enough to not kill the joke. And it was a good joke.

And I ended up doing five. Over the next couple of years, I did five episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. And that was another thing you got by accident because I think your father just brought you to the set because he was visiting Ron. Yeah, no, well, actually, I think it was that mom, see, dad would normally stay with the actors. I mean, dad generally raised us.

I mean, mom was there too, but as an actor and as the father, dad was involved. Now, when dad would get a part, mom would have to come in and go down to the set. At that time, I believe I was being babysat and I was brought to the set and the director, Bob Sweeney, saw me and instantly thought of an idea that would get a laugh. And it was me. It was Barney, Don Knotts, having his way with me. Well, not really. A gag.

A gag. Again, not really in that way. No. So, Don, they got quite a bit of mileage and quite a bit of laughs at a little Leon showing up. What you saw from the sandwich, the peanut butter sandwich. When he was in jail. Right. He locked himself in the jail in one episode.

Right. And here I was, out of nowhere, I'm handing him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And his famous kind of comeback was, not now, Leon. Like at some point he did take a sandwich. And I heard you were just wandering around the set in a cowboy outfit. The same thing that you see me in the show. I was just, listen, my dad was born on a horse, basically. I mean, and so I played cowboys and Indians, and that was the outfit I wore when I went to the set.

And I was just, you know, wandering around the, not the sides, you know, the flats and playing in the sets that weren't being used. And Bob Sweeney saw me. And actually just the following year, I was maybe 65. I was in a TV series called The Bailey's of Balboa with Paul Ford and Stephen Holloway. It's come up. And it was the last year of Black and White. Lisa Balboa with Paul Ford and Sterling Holloway. Yeah. It's come up. And it was the last year of Black and White. And actually, they gave it a really lousy time slot, but I was comic relief,

and I was a five-year-old kid, and they did 13 episodes, and I've seen them. Actually, it was pretty funny. Paul Ford. Paul Ford and Sterling Holloway. Yep. It was a different era. They stood there and told jokes, you know, and yet color had come along. And then the guy, the president of CBS at the time had a personal beef with the guy who was... Jim Aubrey. Yeah. It's infamous. So anyway, the show went away. Yeah. And it was like a comedy, and they gave it a 10 o'clock time slot.

Well, he got—well, it was some controversy that he was favoring certain producers, and there may have even been some mob connection. Do you remember Cliff Nesteroff telling us about this? Oh, yes, yes. With Keith Brazell was involved? Oh, that's right. Yes. Well, so was I.

It was my career. That was my career. Now, I've got a question that neither has to do it directly with you or directly with Ron, but I have to have an answer. Did Andy Griffith and Francis Bouvier, who played Aunt Bea— Oh, Bouvier. Yeah, Bouvier, hate each other? That's what I heard. Hate? Yes.

They didn't talk. Francis didn't care for Andy, and Andy didn't care for Francis. I mean, I don't know whether it was hate or not, but it was, you know, Francis kept it very professional. And I think, listen, I was not around. I mean, first of all, I was around. I was two. I don't remember. And then pretty soon I went off and worked on Gentle Ben because there was a time when I was working on Gentle Ben and Ron was working on the Andy Griffith show and we were doing it simultaneously. One year or one week, Andy Griffith finished number one in the

Nielsen's and Gentle Ben finished number two. So that was a big highlight for the Howards. and Gentleman finished number two. So that was a big highlight for the Howards. But yes, it was cool. It was very cool. And Frances the whole time was not Aunt Bea. I mean, she was not everybody's favorite aunt. She wasn't like friendly to others and not friendly to Andy. She was cordial, but she and Andy just didn't talk.

Interesting. I wonder why they were oil and water. You know, Frances was an interesting person. Ron has told me a little bit about, Ron went to try to visit her one time after she had retired and she had moved to North Carolina and was living above an antique store. And Ron purposely kind of made a trip to go and visit. And Ron saw that there was somebody in that apartment above the store. They, they, Ron saw the person look out the window and Ron knocked on the door and the woman wouldn't answer. So Ron could never get a direct contact with Francis since the show.

So, you know, listen, a lot of times people can have enough of show business. People can flip the bird to the business. And Francis may have done that. Interesting. You want to talk a little bit about General Ben? No, I want to keep talking about Francis Bouvier. Bobby A. Yeah, Bobby A. Well, I wish I knew more about Frances, but the fact is, I mean, I was little and she was an enigma.

Now, I can tell you about some of the famous boobs that I've been in the breast of. Yeah, Gilbert's interested in that. Yes, yes, yes. Tell us that. I was in the bosom of Marina Hera for the better part of a week because I had a crying scene. And my goodness, we did a lot of coverage of that crying scene. And I was about 13 years old at the time. So I was well aware of Marina Hara's prowess as a mother.

Also Vera Miles. And I know that's a name that's a blast from the past. A runner up in Miss America. Also, Vera Miles. And I know that's a name that's a blast from the past. A runner-up in Miss America. A couple of years before that, she played my mother. And we had a horrible tornado come through. And we were down in the storm cellar. And we were down there shooting for about a week.

And I was crying the whole time. Right on her bosom. So you had a very happy childhood. Vera Miles from Psycho. I'm very grateful. I've emoted on some of the best breasts in the world. Let's ask about General Ben Quicksilver, Clint, since you brought it up. I did not emote on his breast. No, no, no.

But you have so many interesting things to say about that experience. You know, for one thing, you like to say that the bear bought your house, which I get a kick out of. Yeah, well, the reality is my parents. Because my mom and dad felt like that the money that both Ron and I earned as little juvenile actors was ours. And, like, dad paid for our school clothes. Dad paid for our school books. like dad paid for our school clothes. Dad paid for our school books. And dad paid for our food. And when we were 18, dad shook my hand and said, good luck.

But what that did is it kept, you know, I had my pool left over from childhood. So the bear bought me a house, bought my house. Now, I spin it. It's gone. But at one time, I did did have the bear did have i i've since gotten another house but there was one time where i went through life kind of as a knucklehead i see did you watch general ben as a kid oh not that much yeah not as much as andy yeah

the florida everglades. Wild and beautiful. Mysterious wilderness. Where adventure is tracked each week by a little boy and a great black bear called Gentle Ben. Ben, did you meet a little girl out here in the woods today? She's lost out there and you're the only one that's seen her. We just gotta find her. Here is big excitement and thrilling action filled with all the wonders of the great outdoors.

A totally new experience in television entertainment. Starring Dennis Weaver, Clint Howard, and Beth Bricknell. I'm going to ask you one last question about Gentle Ben, and that's not directly about Gentle Ben, but about meeting Nixon. Which happened right around that time, did it not? Well, it was a little after. General Benn probably had been canceled. I was with Maureen McCormick and Darby Hinton. Darby Hinton had been in Daniel Boone and Maureen McCormick was in Brady Munch. Sure. And we flew to Washington, D.C., and we were in like a travelogue, a kid's travelogue that Art Linkletter was producing called A Kid's Eye View of Washington. And the coup de grace was us getting to interview Nixon in the Oval Office.

I guess Nixon and Art Linkletter were friends. Art was a conservative kind of guy back then. And I mean, anyway, so they asked us to come up with questions. And I had a simple question I wanted to ask President Nixon. And that was, you know, I've been paying taxes for 10 years. That's – I was 12 years old at the time and I don't get the right to vote. Isn't that taxation without representation? And they wouldn't let me ask that question. They wouldn't.

No, they let me ask some softball. I just remember President Nixon, he was sweating like a pig, and he had jowls like a hound dog. That's your memory. Yeah, yeah. And so anyway, it was a wonderful experience. We did studio school in the basement of the Smithsonian Institute. And you had been paying taxes since you were two. Yes.

No bullshit. 67, I made $67 that first year. So it was $100 growth, 67 net. They taxed me like $33. Did you know that? He had a tax, he had a tax form

when he was 20, when he was two. The little, the simple tax return, and I have it from 1961, is about five inches by seven inches total. Gilbert started very young in the business.

He started at 15, but two takes the cake. I didn't make money until God knows when. Isn't that a good feeling, Gilbert, when you're working and you're being creative? I mean, it didn't happen to me because I don't remember when I was really started in the business. But that first time when, like, you're a pro, you give up your amateur status. It's just I I remember one time working in some place like some basement place where I got seven dollars and then I went back there a month or so later and then they paid me five dollars. You came down. So I was down to cry. Do you remember where this was or how old you were?

Oh, God. Of all places, it was the bottom of a church. Wow. Which I should have been struck by lightning going in. Right, of course. Kind of a blue routine? Was it blue? No, it hadn't.

I hadn't become totally disgusting back then. Well, you must have done something to go from seven bucks to five bucks. Yes. That's what I'm thinking. Okay, just when the show was starting to get good, we're going to throw a monkey wrench into the works with this commercial word. to the works with this commercial word. It's Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

Now, you said that you and Ron were bullied when you were kids. Yeah, we got picked on, sure. Especially Ron. Ron was more of a geek than I was. Ron blazed the trail for me a little more. I was the little brother. We went to the same elementary school, the same junior high, the same high school.

People were a little more familiar with me. Ron was fresh and he was opie. And like Ron played high school basketball. And what do you think the opposing cheerleaders in the opposing gym were chanting when he was at the free throw line? We can imagine. Oh, yeah. Opie. And it and it listen, he got picked on. There was one time he went to a reunion. There was a guy that picked on him in high school. And it was one of these guys where he was this guy was the littlest guy in the group. So they were, they were all picking on Ron, but they let the little guy really kind of, you know, have some, get some shots in and not, I don't mean physical, like they were hitting him.

But anyway, at a reunion, Ron saw the guy and the guy came up and tried to be really friendly. Like they had been buddies for life. And Ron, I heard this through a third party. Ron got plenty of money back for his, what's the term? He got- Payback? He got a pound of flesh back. I see. He dressed this guy down something awful like, you didn't live a very good life, have you?

No, you've been actually really doing bad, haven't you? And in front of everybody, Ron was just sort of saying, oh boy, I've done really good and you've done really bad, haven't you? And in front of everybody, Ron was just sort of, you know, saying, oh boy, I've done really good. And you've done really bad, haven't you? And it just kind of embarrassed him. But Ron, it was a payback because it hurt. It didn't hurt me so much, but it hurt Ron when they picked on him. Was it jealousy? Cause you guys were on the tube every week. Some of that, I think, even though it's an Even though you were in an industry town? You know what? We might've been in an industry town, but the Burbank School District never acknowledged that show business was part of the community. So we were outsiders. And you see, Ron was on the Andy Griffith Show. So he went to studio school when the Andy Griffith Show was on.

So he was only in public school for a limited amount of time. And I was a little more, but still I was down doing Gentle Ben down in Florida and I had a teacher down there. When I came back, I only did Gentle Ben for two years. When I came back and went to school, I stayed close with my friends. And there were people that may have been saying things, you know, is the bear double par? Or, you know, people would try to say stupid stuff, you know. But I didn't have Opie hung on me.

Yeah, sure. Now, getting back to the bear for a second, how close were you with the bear? I mean, how gentle was he actually? 700 pounds. Yeah. He was a, yeah, that may, I don't know, 657. I mean, I never stood there and watched him.

I watched him eat and I watched him poop. I never watched him weigh. He ate prodigiously. He would eat like 24 loaves of bread a day. He would eat a dozen heads of lettuce. He'd eat a bag of monkey chow. He'd eat a couple of boxes of donuts. What is monkey chow? What you feed monkeys. Oh, I see. Oh, jeez. You familiar with that, Gil? No. Is this your first time? You've never owned a monkey? No. He's acted with a few. Yeah.

No, I think, what's that company with the red and Purina makes monkey chow? They make monkey chow. I had no idea. This show is so educational. I was in a movie called Funky Monkey with a few different. You never acted with a bear, did you? No. With a monkey. So now, how did they let, was the bear on a chain when you were doing the scenes with them?

Well, the bear had an outfit. He had a costume, and it included having a chain, and it wasn't for the benefit of the show, although it was easy for the animal handlers to have him with a chain collar because then they could just take a, you know, hook him. And then you've got him by a chain. I mean, I jerked on the bear's chain for a couple of years pretty steady. But you know what? It was all about food. It was all about food.

The bear, I don't think he really cared who was giving him attention as long as they had food. They would get the bear to follow me by rubbing honey on my hand or putting a couple of cookies in my pocket and the bear would follow me. And the bear would take a lifesaver out of my mouth and they would call it a kiss. I would call it a trip to the emergency room, but that's another issue. But no, I got it. Listen, the bear was fine. The other bears, they had three working bears. And one was a little smaller. And then two were pretty much the same.

We had a lot of other animals. Ivan Torres, who produced the show. He's a legend. He was trying to do Disney with animals. He was trying to do, he bought property to try to make an amusement park down there where it would be his – Flipper, Octari. Yep. He was the guy. Cowboy in Africa.

Sea Hunt? Yeah, Sea Hunt with Bridges. Lloyd Bridges. Yeah, he was behind all those animal shows. Yeah, no. Well, he was trying to do – he was trying to become Walt Disney. And it didn't work. He got out over his skis and financially, you know, it didn't work.

It was kind of nice to be a part of it. He made movies. Sure. He had a facility down there where they were training bears and they had like a compound. It was more than just bears. And they let me wrestle with the little bears, which that was really fun. And like they, Ivan Torres made a movie down there while we were working with Tony Randall and Janet Leigh. We've talked about it.

Hello down there. Oh, it's Richard. And a young Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah, singing to a love song to a goldfish. Yeah, Little Goldfish. Yes. Well, because Ivan Torres, Ivan, one of the things he specialized in was underwater filming. Yes. And all of his guys, I mean, they had one of the things he specialized in was underwater filming. Yes.

And all of his guys, I mean, they had it. Yes, he had it wired. And I'll tell you what, Janet Leigh worked on that movie when they went to the wrap party. I was the only one that danced with Janet Leigh. Oh, that's a good story. Well, she just didn't. She was tired of having these guys, you know, hitting on her. So I think she kind of stuck close to me. I mean, I was nine. I don tired of having these guys, you know, hitting on her. So I think she kind of stuck close to me.

I mean, I was nine. I don't think I was really, you know, I don't think I was really hitting on her. Although Janet Leigh had a sizable pair of breasts. Yeah, but I was never on her bosom. I didn't act with her. I just danced with her. You should have started crying. I could have.

You know what? I don't recall any slow dancing, but I probably would have made my move if You should have started crying. I could have. You know what? I don't recall any slow dancing, but I probably would have made my move if we would have had a slow dance. That movie has one of the weirdest casts with Merv Griffin and Jim Backus and Roddy McDowell. Yeah, it's jaw-dropping. Ken Berry, our friend Ken Berry. And Charlotte Rae, who we had on the show. Ken Berry, who really, and then Charlotte Rae, who we had on the show. You know, Ivan was not afraid to hire names or, you know, we had some obscure, not really obscure, but we had old, interesting New York actors that were guests on Gentle Ben and

guys that you normally wouldn't put in an adventure show. I mean, first of all, in baseball, there was Bob Gibson. Bob Gibson did an episode. Oh, yeah! In football, Bart Starr came down and did an episode. And you're a baseball guy, so you must have appreciated Bob Gibson showing up. I've got his picture and his autograph in my

office. That's cool. And Bart Starr too. I mean, I never, I wasn't big enough to play football, but like Al Salmi, Strother Martin came down and did an episode. Remember Albert Salmi? Oh, yeah! Yeah, sure. Strother Martin, wemi, Strother Martin came down and did an episode. Bert Reynolds. Oh yeah. Yeah, sure. Strother Martin, we love. Strother Martin's great. Bert Reynolds did an episode. Wow. It was a terrible episode, except the bear bailed us out. It was the greatest last four minutes. The bear did a fight with a cougar and they shot it well.

Dare did a fight with a cougar. And they shot it well. And, you know, it made up for all the overacting that Burt was doing and all the bad acting I was doing. Ben saved that episode. So, you know, Ivan wasn't afraid to bring people down and put them in shows. I mean, Ivan produced the movie, the Tony Randall movie. That's right. He was a real P.T. Barnum character.

I've read up on Ivan Torres, Hungarian guy. Yes. And very, very eccentric, very interesting fellow. Yes. I talked to him later in his life, and he kind of was speculating that there was going to be a billion people wiped off the face of the earth. They were going to, you know, the herd was going to get thinned.

Right, Ivan. That's great, Ivan, good. Good for you, anyway. Part of your immortality is you were a regular character on Star Trek. No, he was a guest star on Star Trek. Yeah, you were Star Trek. And what was your character? Well, originally I was Commander Balok in the Corbinite Maneuver.

It was like the fourth episode that they did. Yep, first season. Yeah, it was very early fourth episode that they did. Yep. First season. Yeah. It was very early on and they had done a pilot without William Shatner and then they had done a pilot with Shatner. And I think my episode maybe came up right next and I played an alien. I played an old alien and it was a popular episode in the first season when I went in and auditioned for George Lucas. The first thing he did, instead of saying, you know, hi, Clint, or he said, Commander Bailock, Corbinite Maneuver. That's great.

I'm Bailock. Welcome aboard. I'm Captain Kirk. And McCoy and Bailey. Sit. Be comfortable. And McCoy and Bailey. Sit. Be comfortable. Go ahead. Be seated. We must drink.

This is Tranya. I hope you relish it as much as I. Commander Balik. I know, I know. A thousand questions. But first, the tranya. Gentlemen. and I was getting ready to audition. I mean that just talk about killing the frigging vibe because the last thing I thought of was me as a little kid doing

Star Trek and in my mind I'm thinking to myself, George, get a life. And, you know, I didn't get the part and George has made a billion dollars but he was a Star Trek fan. I was in Deep Space Nine. I played a human

being and they didn't have very many human beings on Deep Space Nine. They were all aliens of some sort. And then I was in the Enterprise, which was the prequel to Star Trek, and I played a Ferengi. I remember that. So I'm one of – in fact, I may be the only one who's been in the original and the most recent. They're doing another Star Trek series now. And they contacted me. And when they find something, they want to try to get me in there because they appreciate the legacy.

I think you're one of a handful of actors that was in all the different series. It's like you and three people. Okay, well, yeah. You know, for a while, they didn't want actors who had been in the original series to be in like Next Generation. Right. Because they thought that it would throw off the show, the continuity. If they'd see a face that they saw in another version of Star Trek. It was an accident.

They forgot I was in Star Trek when I got hired to be in Deep Space Nine. I sent Gil the clip last night. Did you watch Bailock? No, I don't watch anything you say. Okay, good. No, you should. But that's it. First, what were you, seven years old?

I mean, and your voice is being put through a synthesizer, so it's not your actual voice. But if people go back and look at the clip, and it's on YouTube, for people who aren't intimately familiar with the episode, I think your acting is so unbelievably natural for someone of that age, if I may say. Well, thank you. It was, yeah, you know, that was a lot to chew on. And dad, you know, dad was always wonderful at, at, you know, teaching and also the discipline of continuing to do the homework. You know, it's, we were more, Ron and I were more prepared than anybody ever on the set that day, adult or children. We had our – it's not that we memorized our lines, but we knew what we were supposed to do. So, you know, they – when I did the Star Trek thing, dad had prepared me for the distractions of being in the suit, in the costume and the – you know, of course, they asked me if I wanted to shave my head.

And, you know, now it would be no problem. But back then, I didn't want to be in like third grade and have a shaved head. But even the way you bring the drinks out, I mean, the Tranya reference, by the way, that was in the intro. But the way you're maneuvering, the way you're moving around, the way you're bringing the drinks, and then you recognize that they're afraid to drink the Tranya. So you drink it. And I'm watching it with my wife last night, and I'm thinking, okay, it's ridiculous in premise.

But look how natural Clint is doing this. Yeah, you know, the— Like a 40-year-old. Well, I had been in the business five years. It's so incredibly smooth. I'll tell you, there's a remarkable – there's an episode of The Fugitive where I play – it's something straw man. Anyway, it's – I was very young and I was acting. You could really see – see, I think I was better in The Fugitive than I was on Star Trek.

Interesting. But The Fugitive, I was this little guy and so natural. And I would print the footage that I'm seeing today. I would say that's good. And, you know, it's just, I don't know. I always had, I always felt comfortable in front of a camera. I was never intimidated. And dad said I was always enthusiastic.

He goes, I was never afraid. If I was supposed to kick somebody, I kicked them. If I was supposed to yell, I yelled. So I think shyness, at least for juvenile actors, a lot of them don't get hired because they they're you know television wants people big and right i fit the bill and also i had very blue eyes and i had a lot of hair you you were both adorable kids do you remember anything about david jansen no no i honestly don't i that was that was at a time in my life where i have vague memories of being in the business, but nothing really sinks in permanently until I was about six. I remember Star Trek.

Right. What were you, seven when you did Star Trek? No, probably six. Six. I hadn't turned seven yet. That was before I did – we did a movie called Gentle Giant, which was sort of a pilot for the series. Sure, sure. And that was with Vera Miles.

Another wonderful experience to fine-tune my acting. So we did the movie. Before I did Gentle Giant, the movie, I did Star Trek, the TV show. And then once the movie came out, Ivan wanted to do the series right away. So that was sort of the chronological order. The Fugitive came first. I also, when I was little, I was about five, that was sort of the chronological order. The Fugitive came first. I also, when I was little, I was about five,

I did an episode of the Bonanza called All Ye His Senses. Oh, you did the Christmas episode. I throw my shoulder out patting myself on the back. What do you remember from Bonanza, other people you work with? That Michael Landon was really a nice guy and so was um uh dan blocker um i i remember lauren kind of stepped into it and kind of acted like a movie star and i kind of wondered you know why is he acting the way he's acting but michael landon was you know he

first of all i was always a little kid everybody's nice to a little kid. Yeah. I mean, I never had anybody like spit tobacco juice on me or anything like that. But no, I remember Michael Landon. My memory, he was a great dude. And then I remember we flew up to Tahoe because Pernell Roberts had left Bonanza. Oh, sure. I remember that. They were afraid they were going to lose their audience. So they decided to spend a little more money.

They were going to shoot a little bit more up in Tahoe. And they were going to give Michael Landon a little more to do as Little Joe. And we went up to Tahoe. And I remember distinctly my dad got off the airplane and put $5 in nickels in the slot machine at the airport. And he lost. And he was mad. And he didn't bet again. I mean, my dad has the willpower of a saint and like dad put some money in the, in the slot machine,

didn't win. And then he didn't bet anymore. Didn't, didn't try slot machines anymore, but I do remember him putting the money in the slot machine. Wow. Your dad, I just want to mention your dad quickly too. He's done a million things and people can look him up and they won't believe how many, how many credits he's done and what he's accomplished and how long he's been around. But I particularly like him as the farmer in the Seinfeld episode. Yes. Oh, yes.

And you have a memorable Seinfeld episode as well. Oh, yeah, Ann Landers sucks. It's a go-to signing moment. You know, people, when they want to get the Seinfeld picture signed and they want me to say something, I just say Ann Landers sucks, and it seems to really, you know, everybody appreciates that. And your dad does comedy well. Well, yeah.

Because that wasn't his background, really. No, you know, Dad, courage was his background because he went from being a hick in Oklahoma with very little experience to New York City where he stayed in the business. He hung in there. He caught a couple of breaks and he just hasn't made any mistakes. And you said that you and Ron, when you discuss your father and his struggling years, you think neither one of you would have the strength

that your father had? No, not in. Yes, no. Ron and I, both Ron and I have said to each other and we figured it out on our own that we probably would not have gotten out of Oklahoma. Ron probably would have been a school teacher, maybe a high school basketball coach. Ron probably would have been a school teacher, maybe a high school basketball coach. I don't know whether I would have made it. That Oklahoma, it gets awfully cold and cabin fever. It's not the easiest place in the world to live. I'll tell you what, I am so grateful that dad did what he did, that he pursued the dream.

First it was New York and then it was Los Angeles and and all the lessons I've learned and all the wonderful adventures I've had it's just I mean if I catch myself like being angry or being bitter I just I stop and go man I'm an a-hole because you know I have nothing to complain about. That's nice. You also told a story that you and Ron got in when you were kids, were getting into a fight, and your father split it up and taught you a lesson. I'll tell you what, Gilbert. Dad, it wasn't so much what he said.

It was the way he said it at those critical moments, and we were fighting about baseball cards. I mean, we, we couldn't really fight. He's five years older than me. Yeah. When he was 10, I was five. He could kick my butt. It wasn't until I was about 20 that I could really turn around and kick his ass. But that's another story. Um, the, the, uh, dad pulled us apart and he held it for a second. And he said, you know, boys, when you grow up, you're going to want to be friends. So why don't you just knock it off? And it was like Ron and I immediately stopped. And dad had somehow – it wasn't again what he said.

It was the way he said it. And we looked at each other and we kind of forgot what we were fighting about. I tell you what what and this is this is in print and i'm not spilling the beans i'm i urinated on my brother wait one of the old gilbert's done that to me during the show how well maybe maybe the gilbert tell us the whole story well my memory is vague because vague because I'm young, but he was laying on his bed, and I jumped up on it, and I thought I had like a water pistol in my hand, and it wasn't. And I hit him really good, and he started kind of crying and yelling. And I stayed there. I thought it was a game.

And, you know, dad had to instruct me that, no, it is not a water pistol. And I don't even think I got a spanking because I was honest. It was like I didn't try to deny it. You know, so I don't even think his wife has done that. So I'm a big winner. So you pissed on Ron Howard.ard yes i have yes did you ever audition for ron howard in your travels no and ron howard has never used me and could you call him and tell him to go fuck himself okay well that happens a lot gilbert i you know he hasn't hired me for a while but we could do a chorus.

We could get together in like a one, a two, a one, two, three, four. Fuck yourself. He's always been really a great older brother. You know, he's made his last four or five movies in Europe. And if he's hired Americans, they've been, you know, number one, number two on the call sheet, which, Gilbert, you and I aren't number one, number two on the call sheet. We're 87 on the call sheet. So Ron hasn't had the opportunity to hire me.

He's developing a movie that would be done here in the United States, and it's right in my wheelhouse. Okay, good. It would be a role for me if he can ever get the darn thing financed. I love the Beatle documentary. Tell him. I will. It's just great. Yeah, well, yes. You know, he won a Grammy for that. My brother, who is not a musician of any kind, he's got a Grammy, and that just pisses me off.

Well, well-deserved. I'll tell our listeners, check out Eight Days a Week because it's just terrific. No, you know, and Paul McCartney was one of the producers. And the thing is what they found, what Ron, when he met with Paul, and it was like everybody knew there had been a hundred documentaries made about the Beatles that had been authorized. Yeah. They needed to do something special. They needed to try to take a different angle.

And I think Paul, through some of Paul's interviews, it helped a lot. And I know privately, Ron was really impressed. It's perfect. Ron was really impressed with Ringo, too. He said, man, that man is sharp. And, you know, we're starting to – listen, Ron lost his father-in-law. Ron lost his mom, our mom. Dad's getting older. And you see Paul McCartney,

and when you're with him, you know, he's not a young guy. 75 this week. Rock and roll, baby. It's amazing. It's amazing. So, you know, Ron has a lot of respect for them, and I think they helped make a really nice documentary. Ron feels like that the documentary is very important. And as a business, Ron and his partner, Brian Grazer are starting to do more documentaries. There was a doc about them years ago called the complete Beatles, which you can't even find anymore. And that narrated by Malcolm McDowell.

And I thought this, no one will ever make a dog, a beetle documentary as good as this, but Ron topped it. It's really terrific. Yeah, no. Well,

listen, you obviously, I mean, I have, i've only seen a few and i admire the beatles and i'll listen to their music now and go wow i was not when i was in my early 20s i was not really a beatles guy i was a harder edgier alice cooper david bowie lou reed um it was just a different kind of a music it wasn't until later when I saw just how good they were I would have Ron asked me is there any question I should ask Paul and I blanked I had a great question that what was it like when you heard your music being played either in jazz or like

in full orchestra in a classical way. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. How did it make you feel? Because they wrote the song when they were kids. Yeah. We just had Peter Asher here on the show the other day. Can you imagine listening to a tune and like the Boston Pops is playing it?

And when you wrote it, you were an 18-year-old kid. Sure. Or people that he admired like Otis Redding covering his songs. Yes. Because when you're a rock and roller, you know you think you're making good music, but you're insecure. And by God, some great jazz musician is taking your tune and doing an authentic jazz interpretation of it.

It's got to just make your chest puff out. And even though it's not as cool or as prestigious, it's got to be an interesting feeling to hear your music when you're on an elevator. Like when they just got the music pumped in. That's interesting. Well, yeah. You also hear a little the music pumped in. That's interesting. Well, yeah, you also hear a little cash register go off. Oh, yes. Exactly. It may be pennies, but there's

a lot of elevators. Wouldn't it be great if they did that with comedy bits? Oh, God. If you were in an elevator. They'd have a little mechanical voice. All of a sudden, the Ben Gazzara bit started playing while you were in the Time Life building. Hey, Gilbert, that's not a bad idea. You could maybe start a little cottage industry, you know, where you do little comedy bits for elevators.

Comedy music. That would be great. Get on that, Gil. Yes. Just write us about 300 of them and have them by next Monday. Now, just write us about write us about 300 of them and have them by next month. Now, you worked with one of our our former guests, the the very crazy and prolific Roger Corman. More than once he did.

Yes, I worked for Roger Corman a bunch when I was in my, you know, late teens and early 20s. Roger hired. Roger made movies and hired. And he always paid minimum. Towards the end, he would give me a little bit more than scale. But it was about the work. And the funny thing is, I worked for Roger. I did, you know, Eat My Dust, which is the thing Ron starred in. And then Ron directed Grand Theft Auto.

I was in Rock and Roll High School, which was made by a lot of Corman people that ended up doing a lot of really wonderful things. I was never a person that he had to creatively deal with. Like, Ron was a director, and, like, Ron would ask for more extras and Roger would say no. And Roger would ask for things only because he wanted them in the trailer. And Roger had a way of communicating or a way of dealing with creative people. When it was me, I mean, he obviously thought I was okay because they kept hiring me.

But he never came up. He never went to like a wrap party. He was never around for that. It was by the time I started working for Roger, he had become a real executive of the B movie. And I mean, back in the day when it was Nicholson and Francis Coppola, Roger was more hands on. But even so, you know, he supplied. I bet you I did 15 movies for Roger Corman, which is, you know, for a young guy. And I just kept grinding.

I kept doing the work. And the one fortunate thing is I never got stuck with one like Jay North from Dennis the Menace. Oh, Dennis the Menace, yeah. Poor Jay North. from Dennis the Menace. Oh, Dennis the Menace, yeah. Poor Jay North. Well, you know, when you're a kid and you're labeled something like Dennis the Menace,

it's really hard for casting directors to see you as anything else. And the one thing I'm very grateful for is like God made me a character actor. And, you know, I did Star Trek when I was little. I did a lot of little characters. I played a Mexican in an episode of Virginian. Oh, that's right. when I was little. I did a lot of little characters. I played a Mexican in an episode of Virginian.

Oh, that's right. So I wasn't pinned down to anything. And of course, you know, nobody confuses me with John Travolta, you know, looks wise. But there's been a spot for me and I've been very appreciative because, you know, I've got a pension. I've got a little dough in the bank and I've got a lot of friends and a lot of people that make movies and or make

television and think of me. They don't always hire me, but they think of me. Did Roger think he was making a disco movie with Rock and Roll High School? I saw an interview with you and you said he couldn't tell the difference between rock and roll and disco. He was trying to capitalize on the disco craze. Well, yeah, Saturday Night Fever had just come out. I mean, and Alan Arkish, the original script was called Disco High. And even though Alan knew they were going to make rock and roll high school, they sold Disco High. Roger didn't know the difference between who the Bee Gees were and what their music was and what the Ramones. The Ramones were just the cheapest available.

There were other bands that were like auditioning or not auditioning. They were being considered for that role. And the Ramones just lowballed and got the job. So, you know, Roger and then Roger ultimately didn't care. The explosion of the high school. Roger got the elements he needed to sell it. And that's all Roger cared about. It's a fun movie.

My man, it's good to see you. Good to see you. How are you doing? Good. Well, have a seat. Have a seat. So what will it be for the star quarterback of Vince Lombardi High? Fake ID. Get your liquor in any state

No Hall pass, test answers? No, no, that's not going to solve my problem It's been like this all morning Ever since Tobar took office, the whole school's in turmoil Well, look, look at this Fake IDs down 50%, test answers down 60%. Home passes are falling off the board. Let's get back to you. Tell me exactly what you want out of life.

I want someone with huge breasts. The sweet, staring, passionate you. You know, he's still making movies. I know. He's indestructible. He's in his 90s. Oh, my God. Yeah, still turning them out. You did one, didn't you?

Didn't you do one of those Sharknado versus? Oh, I did two Sharknado. No, I don't think that's Roger. I thought you did one of those other. He does the shark versus octopus, and he's got all that stuff going. Oh, he'll knock off anything. That's Carnosaur. Carnosaur, right. He's doing another perfect example. Oh, he'll knock off anything. That's Carnosaur. Carnosaur, right. That's another perfect example.

Now, Carnosaur, that was with, by Laura Dern's mother. That's right. With Diane Ladd. Yeah, connection with trying to beat Jurassic Park. Yeah, well, I think she was, Roger paid her a little bit more than other people. The only person I ever worked with or not even was in a person, it was the special effects guys. And it was just a boatload of chickens at a poultry place up in Moore Park. And what they did is they just had this dinosaur in the foreground in front of the camera.

And it was just old school illusion. There was no special effects except it was a little puppet dinosaur that came down into frame right at the moment that my head was getting bit off and then they had a shot of a headless thing guy you know spinning around it was really cheesy roger was just cashing in and you know and i remember have you seen Carnosaur? Yes. Of course. Yes. I had a feeling. And I remember it had some great scientific validity. Because she's playing like a brilliant scientist. And she wants to bring dinosaurs back. And her scientific reasoning is because I like dinosaurs more than I like people.

And I thought, oh, there's a lot of thought went into this. Clint is cracking up. I don't think that Roger really cared. I think Roger knew that if he could do a poster with a dinosaur on it and put blood on it, that he could sell it. And, you know, it did okay because Roger made a lot of money, a lot more money than he invested in that movie. It was phenomenal what a keen kind of business idea. Oh, he's a genius.

I was in a bunch of movies. He went through a period where he made gangster movies. And he made like five gangster movies in about a year and a half. And I was in a couple of movies. He went through a period where he made gangster movies. And he made like five gangster movies in about a year and a half. And I was in a couple of them. But he did it. He amortized the sets and the cars. One movie had F. Murray Abraham and Martin Sheen. He did one with Babyface Nelson with C. Thomas Howell. He had Charles Bronson in one of them.

Yeah. But you see, he would make a string of them. I think Godfather had come out, and he was trying to cash in on that kind of mafia, bad guy thing. And he did Dillinger and Capone. He did Babyface Nelson. He just hacked them all out. Oh, in the old days. Yeah, St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

20 days was a lot of work. I mean, if he gave you 20 days to do a movie, that was a lot for Roger. By the end, interns were being the sound men. Roger would go to any length to cut a corner. Do you know this story, Clint? We had him on the show. Gilbert, you bring this up, which was the terror where he had the sets

built. He was going to play tennis. It rained. And yeah, and he figured, well, I'll make a movie and Boris Karloff owes me a few hours. Instead of playing tennis because of inclement weather, he decided to knock a movie out in a couple of

days. Because he thought he had an knock a movie out a couple of days. Because he thought he had an actor he could get for free. Probably. Or less. Yeah. You know, that Roger was, he told Roger, listen, God bless him. I mean, he's gave, he has opened the door for so many people in the business. Oh, sure.

I was around three major players, and I'm not going to say who they are except one of them was my brother. And they all felt like, and I'm sure rightly so, they felt like that Roger owed them money. A deal was made, a movie was made, a sale, a network thing. Somehow Roger got away with like less and they were sort of all together railing on Roger. And then they started talking about giving him the Thalberg award, which is the producer of the, you know, the lifetime achievement award for producer. So on one hand, these guys were as successful as they were. They were still talking about how they, you know, Roger screwed him out of 10 grand or, you know, something like that.

And yet in the next sentence, they're talking about nominating him for the Irving Thalberg award. So Roger carries an interesting place in people's hearts. You know, most of those movies, well, Jonathan Demme had him in a lot of movies. Ron's used him a couple of times. And he's popped up in the Godfather movies. Well, that's Francis. That's Francis's connection.

Yeah. Francis made a movie one time, borrowed Roger's equipment on the weekends, or, you know, on the time that Roger wasn't using his equipment. Was that Dementia 13? Yes. That sounds right. And I think Francis thinks that there might be a little bit still owed. He's not doing well enough.

We had Joe Dante here and Bogdanovich, two guys that worked for Roger, too. And the conditions were probably deplorable, and the stories are amazing, and the food was cheap, and that's how they got into the business. Sure. And since you bring up Life Achievement Awards, let's talk about yours, the one you got from MTV, which was a fun moment for you. Yeah. You know, I got I found out I was going to get the Lifetime Achievement Award on April 1st. My agent called me and said, you're going to get the Lifetime Achievement Award for the MTV Movie Awards.

And I knew what day it was. And I said, Daryl, shut up. And he went, no, no, really, they really want to do it. And they decided, and as it turns out, there's a handful of people that figure it out. They gave it to Chewbacca the year before. It's not exactly the Pulitzer Prize. Yeah, but an Oscar winner handed you yours. You know what?

And I was honored. I really truly was. I thought, man, this is pretty cool. And I knew it was a great moment. I was at the time of my life. I felt like I could use the advertisement. I could use the publicity. And I started thinking about what I was going to say. And my dad said, you know, keep it serious. If you keep it serious, if you take it seriously, the crowd will pull behind you. And you know what? He was right. I wrote a little speech and made it, you know, I mean, humble.

And it was truthful. But I kept it not jokey. And they loved it. Now, right before that, I was a huge David Bowie fan growing up, and we were doing it at the Santa Monica Airport. They have a hangar there where they do a lot of shows. And they had me in the audience, and I knew when they were going to do my number. I knew what I was going to say. I was just praying I wasn't going to throw up on myself.

And I was needing to go to the bathroom. I was worried about getting the speech out right, saying everything right. I was nervous. And Julian Lennon had done a version of Heroes. No, Jacob Dillon. Jacob Dillon had done a version of Heroes, David Bowie's song. And it had been, I think it was in Titanic that year. Anyway, they played it live right before my segment. And I started listening to David Bowie's song and they did a great job and a great version of it. And I forgot my problems for a second. And the next thing I know, I heard Martin Landau say, ladies and gentlemen, Clint Howard. And it was basically, it's almost like I've got no memory. I mean, I kind of remember being up there,

and I remember shaking Martin Landau's hand. I remember hugging somebody. Your brother was enjoying it too. Yeah. He was eating it up. My brother was, yes, you know what he told me? He said, it's great to be at one of these and not be on the hook for anything. Because he wasn't nominated, and he had gone through a stretch where he had been to a bunch of award shows. When you don't win, it's great to be at one of these and not be on the hook for anything because he wasn't nominated and he had gone through a stretch where he had been to a bunch of award shows when you don't

win it's no fun ed harris for like four years in a row was nominated for best supporting actor and it was the first award that they would always announce and he never won and so he had to stick around and he you know he at the time he smoked cigarettes and occasionally he liked to have an adult beverage and can you imagine sitting around like you know feeling because he's a wound up guy and he wanted to win of course and when you don't win the rest of the evening is just bs well the clips on youtube i'll direct our listeners to it of you winning the award and run and jump running out of the audience and martin landau it to you. It's a fun moment. It's fun to watch.

And I'll tell you what, I was really, I felt really nice. A few years later, I was at the Super Bowl in New Orleans and Joel Gallen, who had produced, he ended up doing the roast for William Shatner. Yeah, Gilbert, you've worked for him a bunch of times on those roasts, Joe Gallo, 10th Planet.

Yeah, I've done a bunch of those. He's done a million of those. Yeah, well, he did the Super Bowl halftime show that year. And he came up to me at a party there in New Orleans, and like you two was there. It was right after 9-11. And Joel got up, came over to me. I didn't really recognize him or know who he was. And he said, you know what?

You were in the best segment I've ever directed. And it just made me feel really good. It just, you know, between those clips of them talking about Clint, Clint. Yeah, yeah. Because Ron had just worked on Ed TV. I'd worked on Ed TV. So Woody Harrelson and Glenn Close. And it was a pretty easy pickup to get those people to do those spots.

It's a good gag, though. It's a good worthy gag. It was a good gag. And Joel was really proud of it. So, you know, that made me feel good. When you get acceptance or acknowledgement from your peers, it is always nice. When somebody genuinely comes up and says, God, that was, you know, really good. I mean, don't you feel, Gilbert, that it's one thing to have the—

As soon as he gets the respect from his peers, he'll let you know. Yes. One day someone's going to come up to me and say, hey, that was passable. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. Yeah, that wasn't completely embarrassing. Hey, listen, no BS. I've seen you be pretty frigging funny.

Watch those roasts. Watch him roasting Bob Saget. I will. I'll go back and check. He's a house on fire. Really, he's a house on fire. And you once described your career. You made a description of your career as being like a booth at the Midway or something like this.

Well, yeah, you know, listen, I'm not a doctor. I don't shape social ideas. I'm an entertainer. It's like I work at the Midway at the carnival. I have a booth. I love that analogy. And every day I open my little cigar box and people walk by and I have my little act and they drop coins in my cigar box. At the end of the day, I close that cigar box and, oh, look, I made a living. And look, there's been people that have been entertained. I haven't changed anybody's, you know, I'm not, I'm an entertainer. I work at the carnival. So that's what I mean by, you know, it's actually, I'm in a booth at the carnival. Now, some people own a booth. Some people own the carnival. I'm just a worker. Like I tell Ron, I tell everybody, I'm an Indian.

You're the chief. You tell me what to do. It's interesting, huh, Gil? Yeah. How do you see yourself in that context? I see myself in the carnival and the freak show. Not cleaning up after the elephants? Yes.

You know, Clint, I never saw a carnasaur, so Gilbert has it all over me on that one. But I want you to know I did see Evil Speak. Yeah. Which I really enjoyed. And Gilbert, I'm going to make Gilbert watch that one. That's the one they wouldn't show it in England. Oh, yeah. They banned it.

They called it a video nasty. That was what they called it. They banned it. They called it a video nasty. That was what they called it. They banned it. They banned the video. It was a little horror movie that when the director saw me, I auditioned. They immediately let the other actor go that they had to pay him. And they hired me. They made me pay for my own toupee.

It was the first job i ever had where i had to have a toupee i also had to shave my chest which because i was supposed to be a cadet at a military school and i was even when i was 16 i had kind of a hairy chest so when i was 19 or 20 when we did evil speak i shaved And it's just like they say, if you shave, it comes back thicker. And it was a mistake because it hurt me later. In Little Nicky, I dripped hot wax on myself. And it was the gag in the movie. And I was dancing around,

dripping this hot wax on myself. And the prop man came up to me and said, I'm really sorry, Clint. We looked for prop wax, but we couldn't really find any. And they, he just handed me a candle and it takes a long time to get wax out of your like hairy chest. So that started, that started on evil speak. And that was one of those deals where it was 21 days and you you know, the next thing you knew, the movie was over.

I'm going to give Gilbert a copy of it. I think he'll dig it. Oh, and you were also in a horror movie where you were a psychotic ice cream man. Called the Ice Cream Man. Oh, yeah. I've played a lot of psychotics, Gilbert. You know, yes, I was in The Ice Cream Man. I was also in a movie called Ticks.

Now, not the mammary gland. Oh, I remember that one. Yeah, that actually was kind of – that played. Amy Dolenz was in it. That's right. There was an actor who was in it. Seth Green had a little part. Oh, yeah.

Guys camping and they got bit by these ticks on steroids and where did the steroids come from they came from me because i was growing weed out in the middle of nowhere and i was putting steroids on the weed and the ticks got into the the steroids and they went they got big and and first they bit me and there was a great moment in Ticks where I yell right into a wide-angle lens with my face all contorted that I'm infested. And then this tick blows out of my cheek. So I've done a lot of kind of like that kind of – a lot of prosthetic stuff with stuff coming out of me and me killing people. I raped a woman in a dumpster one time. I've never really gotten to make love to anybody,

but I have raped a woman in a dumpster. So, you know, I got that going for me. To go through your IMDB pages, it's a lot of fun, Clint. And I like, in a sports metaphor, you're a sports guy. You refer to yourself as a grinder, which I kind of got a kick out of. Hey, you know, a grinder, I'm also kind of like a relief pitcher. I would gladly like to start, but I will gladly relieve, which is, you know, come in.

It might only be for one or two batters. It might be for an inning. And do your thing. And if it's a movie where you have the opportunity, it's fun to come in for a few days and build a character, take some chances, throw some curves on the outside corner. People seem to, you know, people like it. I keep getting hired. And then the wonderful thing about that is three days and then that character's out of my head, that movie's out of my head, I'm on to something else.

Right. Tell Gil what the only A-list project you've turned down in your career the only do you know this gil no the only a-list feature i was sort of on a roll and beginning to work quite a bit as you know i don't know about 30 years old or so and the flintstones with john goodman and i thought you'd like that i was gonna be i was gonna be one of f Fred and Barney's bowling buddies. And I saw the design. I saw what they were going to do. And they were going to be wearing like fur, loincloth outfits and stuff.

And at that particular point in my life, I said, there's a limit. I am not getting in that. Oh, geez. So that was the one. And I've worked with John since then, and I actually asked him about it. And he said, yeah, I was kind of funky, but he was getting paid a lot. I didn't get paid very much. I mean, I wasn't going to get paid very much.

So no first fur-lined loincloth for me. Now, something else I remember getting back to Corman is that's how Ron made a deal with Corman that he would do one movie with him if he let him direct. Well, yeah, Ron was on Happy Days and Ron had a little power. He had a little a little lump and Ron wanted to direct. And the idea of if Roger could get two for one because Roger had this comedy called Eat My Dust, which was a teenage just car crash comedy. And Ron agreed to be in that if he could direct the next one. And sequel or another movie, it wasn't a sequel.

Eat My Dust had a particular set of characters and Ron and Dad wrote a thing called Grand Theft Auto, which was the only thing Roger wanted to call the movie Grand Theft Auto. That was the only requirement. So they built this story and Ron got to

direct it and it was 21 days out in the desert and in Victorville and like Cheryl, Ron's wife, was the caterer. Mom did the catering. I mean, Roger had them. They had catering in the budget, but the catering was so bad, the crew was going to rebel. So Cheryl and mom stepped in and fed the crew so, you know, Ron could make the movie. What was that great line that Corman said to Ron?

If this goes well, the good news is you'll never have to work for me again. Yes. It was when Ron was asking Roger for a couple more extras. That's what it is. You've got the story. There was a scene where there was older people going in a bus, and it was pray to Jesus, here we come. There was some sign on the bus,

and this cop commandeers the bus and joins on this chase to Vegas. So Ron wanted the bus to be pretty full with senior citizens for the humor and also just to have the bodies in the bus. And Roger wouldn't go for more than like, you know, four extras. And Ron went to him and said, you know, Roger, this is going great. And this would be a lot more impactful if we had like four more extras. And Roger looked at Ron and said, no, Ron, if you do a good job for me, you'll never have to work for me again.

I love that. It was perfect. And Ron turned around and got some of mom's friends to be extras for free. And so, you know, Ron finally kind of got the shots he needed. Roger didn't spend the money, and Ron never worked for Roger again. the shots he needed roger didn't spend the money and ron never worked for roger again and you once did a movie that was filmed in an area that was so dangerous they had armed guards i read yeah no that was evil speak we we we shot down in the not a good part of los angeles it's

it's been improved now they were building the 105 freeway. The connector road between – that goes to the airport and there was a church that was going to get demolished. The whole area was going to get demolished and it was not a good area. They had to have armed like security guys with shotguns standing by the honey wagon. And the, this was a horror movie. And this, the inside of this church had been recreated to be really beautiful looking. I mean,

that was the idea. And the church was finally going to blow up and burn down, which is why they shot it in an area that was going to be condemned or was condemned. And the old minister from the church, he long retired. He was an old elderly black gentleman, he came and saw what the inside of the church looked like before it was burned down, and he dropped to his knees

and he thanked the Lord that his church had been returned. The fact is, is nobody had the heart to tell the guy it was going to get burned down like the next night. Bill, I think you'd like this movie, Evil Speak. R.G. Armstrong is in it. You know that actor? Oh, wait. You know him.

And also, Luca Brasi shows up. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Lenny Montana. And pigs eat the woman. Yes. Oh, God. Okay, I'm going to see it.

Yes. I severed several heads. I cut the heads off of several people, and there's also one fellow who gets his heart pulled out. He does. And I went to high school with Haywood Nelson, by the way. Oh, there you go. A little strange trivia. A little strange connection.

You know, Haywood was a great guy. Good guy. At that time, he knew he didn't want to be an actor. Yep. Now, I don't know what happened, but he just decided. He's not in the business anymore. From what's happening. You know Haywood Nelson.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I think he was Dwayne. I was. This is so weird. I was on some show today, and I made a reference to him. Why?

I started at one point saying, hi, hi, hi. Went to Mineo High School with me. Yeah. So he's not in the business anymore. I don't believe so. And he was a young guy. He was probably only 20 something, 21 or 22 years old at the time. And he had decided he had been on What's Happening. Yeah. and he had decided he had been on what's happening yeah and he had decided he just didn't want to do it and he was taking this job it was available but he had no interest in pursuing it as an adult that's so weird i was on the president show today it was called yeah on comedy central and we started out of nowhere made a reference to strange what's happening coincidences going hey hey hey we

have a question for you clint from one of our listeners okay this is from that we do we do a new segment called grill the guest where we let our listeners uh this is through patreon and we let our our listeners uh ask the guest a question this is from will harris who's a gentleman uh who i believe interviewed your brother he says this, this is the most Gilbert-friendly question possible. What memories do you have of working with the great Ben Gazzara on the death of Richie? When I interviewed Clint's brother Ron, he said that when he worked on The Smith Family, he found himself in Henry Fonda's Good Graces because he was, quote, Rance's boy. So did you ever find yourself on an actor's good side simply because they knew your dad?

Well, I worked with Hank. I did a film with him with Henry Fonda. So, yeah, I was I was Rance's boy. Let's see other actors. Yeah. Well, listen, Ron blazed the trail in a lot of ways. Dad and mom were introduced to each other by Dennis Weaver. Oh, there you go.

That was at the University of Oklahoma. A General Ben connection. Yes. And most famously known as Mr. Dillon. Mr. Dillon. And McLeod. Yes. Yeah, McLeod.

He was Chester. Yes, he was. He had that limp. What kind of guy was he, Dennis Weaver? We meant to ask you about that. Dennis was a great guy. And Dennis was an early health food nut, you know, as far as he ate soy burgers. And he had barbecues that just you'd go hungry at his house because I ain't eating a soy burger.

that just you'd go hungry at his house because I ain't eating a soy burger. And he was very jovial and he was, you know, certainly willing to go out there and work real hard. The Florida Everglades and working on Gentleman wasn't easy. It was hot. And, you know, you got a hand. Dennis wanted to work. Dennis was a family man. Jerry was his wife, you know, was always around his kids.

He had a kid my age, Rusty. Rob was Ron's age and Rick was a little older. So our families sort of were together and we didn't play every Sunday together but we were around. And so I don't know. I never got a job. Like, I never worked for Andy in Matlock. I never worked. I worked on Gentle Ben with Dennis.

I didn't work with him again. So, you know, a lot of times you just have to accept the fact that, yeah, we're friends and stuff. But if there's something that isn't right. Of course. If you're not right for a role, you got to just let your ego park and just accept the fact that you're not in that one. At least that's been my experience. Good actor. So memorable in Duel, in Spielberg's Duel.

Yeah. That's so funny. I was just thinking about that now. Yeah. That was when Spielberg was just proving himself. Absolutely. Good performance. And Duel is almost like the original

Jaws. Yeah, you know, Duel had very little dialogue. You know, if you really go back and look at it, there weren't a lot of actors and it wasn't, it was mostly that tension. Yeah, it was just a truck.

The chase, the pursuer and the pursuee. And it was, it was truck, the, the chase, the pursuer, the pursuer and the pursuee. And that, you know, Steven nailed it. I'll tell you, Steven,

talk about a guy who has jobs. Steven could figure stuff out. And, and Ron's told me stories about like advice and ideas that, that Steven has given Ron. That is just, it's like, wow,

you know, kind of thought I was smart. And it's like that angle is really, really smart. And I remember there's no rhyme or reason to do. It's never explained in a way. No. You're leaving, scratching your head, but it's an eerie thing to watch. Yeah.

Very effective. Yeah. It was a TV movie. I mean, it wasn't – it mean, it surprised everybody how artistic it was because it was. It was the shots, the impact shots, the shots of the truck, you know, getting ready to munch the car in Dennis's expression. It all worked great. Stevens made a few just absolutely brilliant movies. Yeah, more than a few.

Well, what do you got? That's it. We're about out of bullets here, Clint. Well, you fired enough of them, Jamie. I'm going to tell our listeners, too, to check out. This is fun. I know you haven't done it in years, but the Clint Howard Variety Show is hilarious. I'm very proud of those segments that we did. You know, that was pre-YouTube, and now you can watch them on YouTube. Oh,

they're great. Me and a buddy, a guy named Barry Kirsten and I, we did it together. We directed them, and I acted in them, and it was fun. Yeah, and you'd give your guests what at the end of the show 15 in a turkey for all the celebrity guests and they didn't know what to do with the turkey yeah we would hand we would surprise them and we'd hand them this like raw turkey that had been iced and yeah like henry grabbed it henry winkler yeah andy dick didn't it. Adam Sandler took it in stride. What Adam really liked was the money because we gave him 15 $1 bills, and he hadn't seen a one in a long time. Seriously, that's what he said.

I got some tipping money. So we gave him $15 and a turkey except Ron. He was on the show, and we gave him the FU and a Cornish game hand. Gil, you can watch these on YouTube. They're a lot of fun. There's Judge Reinholds on one and your old friend, Johnny Ramone. Johnny Ramone was great. They're a lot of fun to watch. What was nice is everybody said yes. There was never anybody that had a question about not wanting to show up to the vacant lot and be on the Clint Howard Variety Show. It was a blast.

I love you in comedies, Clint. I mean, you've done a lot of horror films. I just, I love you on My Name is Earl. You're a very funny man. Hey, nobody can play creepy Rodney like me. I am refining. Creepy Rodney is a favorite of mine. I'm defining the humor as psychotic.

That's sort of my goal. That's why you haven't worked together. He's taken your psychotic parts. I'm like you on steroids. Well, we want to thank Monique, too, for setting this up. And there she is right there. We can see her. Monique, thank you so much.

We wanted Clint for a while, so I was glad to hear from you well yes and listen guys first of all I enjoy listening to podcasts I haven't listened to you guys as a lot I listened to the Adam West one and that was great oh I loved it and I've been podcasts, and I've talked to a bunch of people who are real, real podcast enthusiasts. And they always mention your show. And also Kevin Pollack. They just think you're funny. This guy, Steve, he thinks you're really funny. Did we get a last name out of Steve, Monique?

Wait, I think it's Owens. Steve Owens. That sounds familiar. Okay. Yes. And in fact, he's going to buy one of my snow globes. You want to plug the snow globes, by the way? Well, I have snow globes for sale for what?

$788,000. I'm just trying to sell one. No, $288,000. I just want to sell one. You don't actually sell them, do you? If you've got $288,000, I'll sell you one. No, you know, this guy Steve, he lives in Texas, and one of them traveled. One of them, somebody tried to fly, and it broke.

Oh, shit. So I will give them to somebody if they won't take it on an airplane, this guy's going to fly out from San Antonio and drive back with a snow globe. And it's, it was made in his honor. And it was only, I met the guy and he's got a fascinating kind of career in a life. And he's kind of funny.

And it gave me the idea for a snow globe and and I made it, and I offered it to him. And he took me up on the offer. He's going to come out and pick it up and drive home. Very cool. And I imagine you've seen Citizen Kane. Yeah. That just might be a snow globe reference. Hey, before you run away, Clint, we started out by mentioning Jack Elam.

Can you tell us something super quick? Oh, yeah. We'll start it out by mentioning Jack Elam. Can you tell us something super quick? Oh, yeah. The greatest dude as far as being a guy to look up to because he was loosey-goosey, he played liar's poker, he was a gambler. So, listen, good news or bad news, I don't know.

Dad never complained, but Ron and I learned how to gamble. And he was really good because he was an easy does it guy, but he had a gambler's sense. And you kind of need an aggressive instinct to be an actor because you know what, there's a lot of people there and you got to step up and when it's your time, you got to nail it, which is like a bluff or to make a move and win a hand. And we used to sit and watch Jack Elam play, and he would laugh. And I got to work with Jack probably about a half a dozen times in movies and television shows. And we love him. Yeah, he was easy.

What a treat he was. All right, my friend. Okay. Clint, you're a great raconteur. We appreciate this. Well, listen, I appreciate it too. And Gilbert, seriously, I have seen you do stuff, and I've seen the roast stuff. And your act works, man, and you're funny.

Oh, thank you. Yes, yes. Listen, whatever you do, I would just keep doing it as long as somebody's paying you for it. Yeah, that's basically my career. Well, then there you go. Whatever you do, I would just keep doing it as long as somebody's paying you for it. Yeah. That's basically my career. Well, then there you go. Then you work at the carnival, too, when they let you work there. Exactly.

That's my thing. Sometimes I have to stand in line to get in the booth. And before I go, can you tell your brother Ron again to go fuck himself? I'm writing it down right now. Hold on. You should have been John Nash in a beautiful mind. Gilbert Gottfried says, fuck you. Yes. To Ron.

Okay. Or, ultimately, we'd like to have him on. No, wait, wait. One or the other. Fuck yourself. Fuck yourself. Yeah, go fuck yourself. Go fuck the other. Fuck yourself. Fuck yourself. Yeah, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

Would you like me to sign it for you? Yes, please. Okay. I'm sure he'll be calling next week to get on your show. Yes. I doubt that. Tell him, say, in fact, say, Ron, Gilbert says fuck you and the entire town of mayberry you know what he might go on the show now oh yes clint this was vastly entertaining man thank you you're a great storyteller hey well

thank you vice versa listen you guys put it on a t for me oh you, you're the best. So, listen, go ahead, go ahead. You go ahead. He's going to wrap up the show. Go ahead, he's going to wrap. I was going to tell you guys to all fuck off and take my headphones off, but I'll let you do the,

I'll let you do the rap. Okay, good. Okay, good. Well, thanks for doing this. This was a treat for us. Hey, guys, it was. It was really, really fun. Thank you, guys.

I like going in-depth. He's going to sign off. Thank, guys, it was. It was really, really fun. I like going in-depth. He's going to sign off. Thank you again, Monique. So, this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And we've been talking

to an actor who's played a certified sex molester in more movies and TV shows than I want to remember. The way fun... And versatile. Yes. The fun and versatile Clint Howard.

Clint, thanks again. Oh, no, no, it was my pleasure. And I am versatile. I can rape them and I can love them and I can tell them jokes at the same time. I have a feeling our listeners are going to love this one. Well, listen, guys, again, I had a great time. Thank you, Clint. Thanks, man.

We'll be right back. Thank you.