Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 172. Bill Macy

Episode Date: September 11, 2017

In one of their funniest episodes to date, Gilbert and Frank are joined by veteran actor Bill Macy ("Maude," "The Jerk," "My Favorite Year") for a highly entertaining look back at his seven-decade career and his collaborations with everyone from Bea Arthur to Norman Lear to Steve Martin. Also, Bill praises Carl Reiner, understudies Walter Matthau, ticks off Tony Curtis and shares the screen with Art Carney (and Lily Tomlin). PLUS: "Oh! Calcutta!" Remembering Joe Bologna! Gilbert plays a Spaniard! William H. Macy changes his name! And Bill convicts Bialystock and Bloom! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here once again with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our guest this week is a popular and prolific actor with dozens of movie, theater, and television roles to his credit. Films include The Producers, The Late Show, Bad Medicine, Serial, Old Calcutta, The Jerk, Analyze This, The Holiday, and a movie we've discussed quite a bit on this show, My Favorite Year. You also know him from numerous TV appearances and shows like All in the Family, St. Elsewhere,

Chicago Hope, L.A. Law, The Love Boat, My Name is Earl, How I Met Your Mother, Norm, Seinfeld, and of course as Walter Finlay, the accommodating and long-suffering husband of Bea Arthur's title character on the iconic CBS series Maud. In a career spanning seven decades, he's worked with and shared the stage and the screen with artists such as Art Carney, Mel Brooks, Steve Harris, Peter O'Toole, Tony Curtis, Alan Arkin, and Walter Matthau, as well as our previous podcast guests, Norman Steinberg, Carl Reiner, Richard Benjamin, and Norman Lear. Please welcome to the show one of our favorite performers and the man responsible for actor William H. Macy going by the name William H. Macy, the very funny Bill Macy.

By the way, Gil. Yes. He had put an H in his name because when I became an actor in 1950, the union said, what's your name? And I said, my name is William Garber. And they said, wait a minute.

And they went to the file. They said, we already have a William Garber. You can't use the same name for another individual. So what's your middle name? I said, Macy. And so they said, well, use William Macy. And so I finally made William into Bill, and I became Bill Macy. Thirty years later, William Macy came along, and his name is William Macy.

And I said to the union, he can't use my name. They told him about it, and he said, okay, I'll put an H in to differentiate the team. So he's known as William H. Macy, and I'm known as Velvel Moish Garber. Velvel Moish. I think there's already a Velvel Moish in the business. So you might have to change it. Yeah. By the way, the introduction that you just gave to the audience was only – I'm trying to think of like a superlative kind of a word because I never heard that before in my life.

I never knew that I worked with so many people. I mean – You did, Bill. And with the names that they all had, my God. And then you said long-suffering. You used that when I was the husband of Bea Arthur. Listen, I want to correct that right now, especially not only to your audience, but to you. Listen to this.

There used to be a delicatessen on Fairfax near Olympic. Our studio was on Beverly and Fairfax, near Olympic. Our studio was on Beverly and Fairfax. And every week when we taped the show on Friday, I would jump into the bagel. It's a Jewish deli at the time. It doesn't exist there anymore. But I would get a hot pastrami to go. And then I would go to the studio,

and there would be Bea in her makeup robe and all, and I'd say, here, because she loved hot pastrami. And she would go, and give me a little taste here and there and so on. That's how we got along. I would do anything for her because I loved her. Wow. So what kind of a person was she like?

Like me. Yeah. But no, no, no, not like me. I'm flat-chested. She was a superb actress. Can you imagine doing 144 episodes and learning all the lines that she had to do. I know how difficult it was because I had to go home every night, study lines, then take it in the next day,

and we would be on book for a day or two, and eventually we'd be off book. But she had the brunt of those lines that all of these crazy writers wrote for her. And then not only the line, then she had to enact them, E-N-A-C-T, for the people who don't know what I'm talking about. And she was super. And my wife and I, Samantha, who's sitting behind me, by the way, we watched the reruns of Maud every Friday night on Time Warner Cable, station number 1258 Antenna.

And I'm amazed, continually amazed, how she carries the show. And I'm sort of backup. I'm happy that I had the job and so on and so forth. But the rest of the company also was dynamite. The only one I didn't like was Hal Cooper, our director, because he was a son of a gun. He once booted me in the ass because I wasn't able to do a piece of business the way he wanted it to. Wow. I got to tell the audience a story that I thought would have made a great introduction.

My wife was the one talking to you originally. And she said, okay, we're going to do it by Skype, and I'll email you the information. To which you said to her over the phone, I don't know about Skype. I don't know about Skype. I don't know about email. I'm a 95-year-old Jew in my car, and I'm looking to buy herring. That's true. Oh, and listen, here's what I promised Maggie, who brought me here. I said I would sing my song for you about my age. You ready? Okay. Hit it. I'll never be 94

again. Now I'm 95. Amen. Beautiful. Oh, and one request I have. At the end of Mel Brooks' classic, The Producers, you're the chairman of the jury. Oh, he's the foreman, yeah. The foreman of the jury. And Gene Wilder and Zero Mustel are on trial for their crazy scheme. are on trial for their crazy scheme. And at the end, the judge says to you, has the jury reached their verdict? And you say, we have, Your Honor.

And then he said, how do you find? And I said, we find the defendants incredibly guilty. That's a great moment. Every time I see that movie, your one line there cracks me up. That was my first movie. Now, listen to this. Do you know how I got that part? No, we were just going to ask. I was doing America Hurrah, written by Jean-Claude Van Itali at 12th Street and 3rd Avenue, a North Broadway play.

And Mel and his associate came to see the show. We had no curtain call on that show. It ran for quite a while, and it was very good, very funny. And he came backstage, and he said, Bill, I enjoyed what you did and all. I'm doing a movie called The Producers, but all the parts are cast, but maybe I can find something for you. Would you do something if I found something for you? I said, of course. So a couple of days later, his associate called and said, Bill, we have a foreman, the jury. Would you do it?

It's only one line. You get $200 for it. I said, of course. I did it, and I just gave it to you for nothing. We're honored. Yeah, it's okay. And the herring part, let's talk about the herring part. Yes.

Not everybody even knows what herring is. They don't even know how to spell it. H-E-R-R-I-N-G. And it's a fish. And it's a delicious fish when it's pickled or drunk, whatever you want to call it. And there's a restaurant, a Jewish restaurant here in Beverly Hills called Nate

and Al. Oh, sure. And I go there when I can get in and push my way through and say, two herrings to go, please. Pickled herring, please, for Bill. And I give everybody the tips. I get out of there and I park over on Maple. No music. Read the sports page and enjoy the herring in quiet privacy. What about you? Are you a herring fan? No. You don't appreciate the joys of herring. I never got into herring.

What was the story you were going to tell us about the neighborhood, about the 7th Avenue and before we were talking off mic? Now, Gilbert, I hope you don't mind that Frank just asked me that question because that's the opening question to my life. Oh, okay. As it were, in terms of me being here in front of you, because this is the end of my life, I expect to die right after this show. Wait a minute, I may be dying during this show. I came out of the service in 1946, went in in 42. Served in New Guinea, Philippines, and Japan eventually.

And after they dropped the bomb, he was sent home. So I was discharged in 46. And I walked the streets of Manhattan not knowing what to do. I was 24 years old. I was born in 1922, and this is 1946. And my mother, if she had 50 cents, would give me it, and I would take a diamond of nickel on the bus nickel on the subway go to manhattan walk around and find out i didn't know what i was supposed to do and on 47th between 8th and 9th one day i see a sign it said act now

one flight up i went up the. The lady there says, hello? I said, what is this? She said, this is an acting school. What's that? I said. A guy comes out of an office and he says, listen, are you a GI? I said, yes. You'll come to the school.

The government will pay for you and you'll find out what it is. I said, I accept. You'll come to the school, the government will pay for you, and you'll find out what it is. I said, I accept. Two months later, he kicked me out of the school because he said the government doesn't want to pay for you. You owe me $200. I didn't have a penny to my name. But I had a taste of what it had been, an acting school.

So he said, you can't go to, because you don't have any prior experience as an actor, but you could go to a college or a university because you graduate high school. I said, thank you. And he let me go. And I enrolled in New York University in the drama department. And upon my entrance, the professor took one look at me and saw I was older than the average 17, 18-year-old coming into college. And he made me the stage manager. And I was a stage manager four years. I got $75 a month. I got all my books taken care of, my tuition taken care of, and I did four years there.

And the day after I graduated in 1954, I went up to 60th Street and 10th Avenue and got myself a job as a cab driver. Now, I'm driving a cab. I bump into different people here and there. And this black musician and I became buddies when we turned in our money at night. And one day in 1958, he says, Bill, somebody left the script of a Broadway show in the backseat of my cab. And he gave it. Maybe he couldn't use it. So I took it home and read it.

Once more with feeling with Joseph Cotton, Arlene Francis, and Walter Matthau. And I said, I could play this small part. I took it to the producer, Martin Gable. And he wanted to throw me out of the office. I said, I'm not leaving. I want to play that part. I said, be at the National Theater tomorrow. Have an audition.

I was there. I auditioned. I didn't get the part. But he said, you can be the understudy to Walter Matthau. Wow. 1958. I did that for a year. Went on two or three times. Oh, yeah. He was sick one night a year went on two or three times

oh yeah he went on he was sick one night I went on they gave me a couple of tickets for my mother and father I don't want to break the microphone the next thing I'm going to do

my mother and father were sitting in row M and the show was over and Joseph Cotton there Arlene Francis here and I'm over here and my father stood up in row M yelling, Billy, Billy. And Arlene says to me, who's that?

I said, that's my father. He was so proud, you know. That's great. And then I left that show and I went to America Hurrah again. That's where Mel Brooks saw me. And each little time I did something, it led to the next thing. Look, Gilbert, you had me come out here. And, you know, I appreciate that because just before I actually get into the coffin, my God.

I mean, please bury me with some herring and some sour cream and some latkes and all kinds of Jewish stuff so I can eat while I'm there. I read when you were doing the play with Joseph Cotton, you said you never saw anybody with such pale blue eyes as Joseph Cotton. Well, if you say that, I'm not going to argue with you. I just made it up. I just made it up. I just made it up. I make up my life. Don't you understand that? And can you imagine

I'm not even embarrassed even though my wife is sitting right behind me? Yes. And Maggie, who brought me here with the dog, the dog is maybe

he sort of doesn't enjoy what he's hearing. We want to thank Maggie and Samantha again. Now, what's interesting about your father screaming out,

Billy, Billy, is that originally your parents were disappointed that you didn't want to go into business, I heard. Like, they weren't crazy about the idea of you becoming an actor. Who told you that nonsense where'd you find that same place as the joseph cotton story i think so listen listen listen gil yeah we were so poor that it didn't make any difference what you did when i said my mother gave me 50 cents, I exaggerated.

She gave me a quarter. A nickel on the bus, nickel on the subway, walk around the town, and a dime back, and a nickel for a bagel. And I did that for who knows how long until I got lucky. Every time I bump into people, I got lucky. Look what we're doing now. Now, I know that on this podcast that you have listeners. We do.

And I'm going to tell every listener that you have, I bless you. I'm only a vessel through the eyes of our creator. And all of you that are listening to this are being blessed. Well, first of all, to have the temerity to listen to my nonsense, you've got to be blessed for that. But, I mean, Gil read off a list of 200 names that I worked with. So, you know, so at least I made some contribution.

What I try to do is the mantra that my wife gave me, Samantha, who's sitting right behind me, she said, you say every day to yourself, people that you meet, she says, I'm happy, I'm strong, I'm confident, I'm friendly. Now, even before she told me that mantra, which I use daily, I was happy. I was sort of strong. I was confident, sort of confident. And I was always friendly, as you can hear me talking to you. I mean, this is a pleasure that somebody said, sit down and talk. But right out loud, God bless you.

Speaking of your mom, Bill, I'm going to try another question. Did your mom, when you started to make it on Ma, did your mom sign her letters, mother of a star? No, that's ridiculous. Also not true. So we don't have one bit of true information about you where did we get this information some some idiot was trying to make himself likable anyway listen to this i'm doing a you know the funny thing is one of my notes was to ask him that same question about the mother of the star.

Never happened, huh? Your mom didn't. What was the note? Gil, what was the note? Well, the same thing Frank just asked, that your mother would sign the letters mother of a star. That your mother was so proud of your success on Maud. Yeah, but not what she would do. I'll tell you how my mother responded to the world.

She was sitting and watching a play next to Ed Sullivan. I don't know how he got that seat, such a good seat next to her. She was in the second or the third row. And he found out that I was her son. And he said to Mrs. Garber, your son's a pretty good actor. And my mother said back to him, he's a better son than an actor. Great. What was the name of that show that I did when she went through the, you know, the off-Broadway show?

The Cannibals. We were doing a show called The Cannibals. I just was asking Samantha what the name. I don't remember everything I've done. The Cannibals in the off-Broadway, and there was a VOM, which is a short for Vomitorium, which I don't know, between two sections of the audience. My mother was on the aisle, and I was going to my death.

You know, I was a Jew going to their death in terms of this ridiculous play. And as I walked towards my death, I passed my mother, and she leans over, and she says, Excellent. Great. See, the world is like that. Nobody cares about the literalness. They care about you. They love you, and you love them, like Gil.

You love me, don't you? I love you. Frank, I don't know about. I don't blame you, Bill. And now while Gilbert heads into the nutmeg kitchen to steal more Perrier. A word from our sponsor. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling. Winning.

Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying i do who wants this last parachute i do enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. It's Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Podcast. And now back to the show. Now, you had a chance, actually, to work with William H. Macy, if this is correct. Is that true?

My wife says no. Well, wait a minute. What, they sent you a script for Shameless, for Macy's show? No, no, no, no, no. Impossible. Impossible. There's a 30-year difference. I'm 95.

He's 65. Right. He's got red hair. He's Irish. And he's an alcoholic. I'm a Jew. I got white hair. And I eat herring.

You weren't offered the role of a bartender on his show? No. I don't give a damn if I'm right or wrong. I'm saying no. His wife's correcting him. He's insisting it didn't happen. Does your wife know about the other stories we have? Well, I'll tell you.

I met my wife in the show called Oh, Calcutta. Yep. I have to spell it because a lot of people think I'm saying old. No. Calcutta. Yep. I have to spell it because a lot of people think I'm saying old. No, it's O-H apostrophe Calcutta, like the Indian city. But the story behind that is the producer was an Englishman,

and he was in love with the behinds of women. And so he found a French expression called O-Cal-cu-tay. But he knew that the American audience wouldn't understand it. So he made it Calcutta. Nobody ever understood it and it was okay. But he, here was his premise. And it meant,

Oh, what a lovely ash. Yes. Yeah. Something, something like that. A bad, a bad joke.

But anyway, here was his premise, which you can judge whether you like it or not, but this was his premise. When you were clothed in the show, the show had 12 scenes. Eight scenes were clothed and were sketches and so on, written by various famous authors of America. various famous authors of America. And the four scenes were unclothed, nude,

with music behind and walking and so on and so forth. His premise was if you were clothed and people spoke, they were profane. They were nasty. They were naughty, et cetera. Whereas if you were nude and you didn't say anything, you were perfect in God's eyes, everybody's eyes, you know, except the Japanese used to come with binoculars. They wanted to see what kind of a pussy you had on the front row.

Japanese tourists came to the show with binoculars? Yes. Make a note of that. Japanese tourists came to the show with binoculars? Yes. Okay. Make a note of that. I mean, they were so bizarre, they used to come backstage and say, I love your dick. I said, thank you for coming. Did you ever see that show, Gil?

I saw it in the 70s. Were you in it on Broadway? Yeah, I was in the first year. Oh, now that you're talking about that, it ran for 20, 25 years in different parts of the world and the country. But let me tell you why I quit the show.

Why? I had a scene with Leon Rossum, we're still buddies, where we were hay shakers. In other words, he sat in a chair and he was a young person at the time. I was 47. He was about 25. 47, he was about 25 and my opening 60 seconds were

I think the lawn needs a little grass around here, the edges and the paint on the wall and this and that. I spoke innocuously about keeping the place. And he opened his mouth 60 seconds or 20 seconds later with a long pause and he

said when I come, it's like a river all over the bed, the sheets and everything. You know what I mean, Paul? And the audience would go bizarre, you know. And then later in the show, he would say in that same piece, he would say, I learned how to use my thumb, at which point some woman in the back of the house would go screaming,

like, wah, wah, wah, wah. my thumb, at which point some woman in the back of the house would go screaming. Anyway, he left the show, and Mitch McGuire replaced him. And Mitch McGuire wasn't getting a laugh on, I learned how to use my thumb. So Mitch McGuire once said, one night, he said, I learned how to use my thumb. Afterwards I went to him and I said, Mitch, what's that? What's that word? He says, get out of my face, Bill. I said, there is no such word in the language.

Even if you're a hayshaker and you don't know how to read, nobody ever in the world ever said thumb. He refused to listen to me. I walked to management. I said, I quit. I'm not going to work with a son of a gun like that. So I just thought of something. If you were in

that Broadway production when I saw it, this means I've seen your penis. Did you have good eyesight then? What row were you in, Gil? I was there with the Japanese tourists. You were starting to say that's how you met Samantha in that show. I was attracted by her smile.

Mm-hmm. And I imagine other things, too. And Samantha stayed in the show after you left, or she came afterward? How did that work, honey? You left. He wasn't on Broadway. I see. I was in the Broadway show.

But he moved us uptown. So perhaps you didn't see Bill Schmeckle. I don't think you saw Bill. Wait a minute. Gil. Yes. I'll drop my pants now so you can take a look at my dick. It's not the same size now because I'm 95.

Bill, that show you were talking about, it was an American hurrah. That's the show where you're choking on the chicken bone? Yeah, who told you that, Frank? Well, we do a little research here. Hey, we got one right, Gil. I know. Wait a minute. I think we should quit now.

Let's just wrap it up. No, that chicken bone, that took a seven-minute piece on the floor when the people were yelling, help him, screaming, get a doctor, because they believed that I was actually going to get asphyxiated. I'm not going to try to spell that one. Because of that chicken bone in my throat. And the lady in the second row i'll never forget it she was laughing her behind off and she went like this he's dying he's dying he's dying and he's laughing her ass off and i got up finally i i got rid of the chicken bone and i stood up and

i said fuck and all my spittle went all over her wow oh yeah she broke me up now here's a story that's probably not true either well go ahead it'll fit in with all our other perfect setup i i read that there was a lot of bickering in your family, like a lot of arguing and bickering, and you found the best way to quell things was by making people laugh. Well, listen, I think everybody does that, but I don't know where you found the word bickering because that's not a Jewish word.

Fetching. And in my family, we were so poor. The audience that you have in your podcast, you have young and middle class and old. Because if I tell this story, I don't know how many people are going to understand that my mother would give me three pennies in 1927, 29, 31, and go to the store and get soup greens. And I would take the three pennies to the store and come back 10 minutes later with a carrot, one stalk of celery, a green, and she would make a soup for six people, my mother, my father, my brother, my two sisters, and myself. That's how poor we were.

We were so poor that I gave up religion when I was 11 when my father asked me to go to the synagogue with him on 53rd, and they wouldn't let him in because he didn't have $5. It was a Passover holiday, and they wanted to raise money for the synagogue or whatever to pay their bills. And I looked at my father, and I didn't understand what was happening, but I saw the embarrassment on his face that he didn't have $5. So I gave up being a Jew in that regard, you know. And look what's happening with religion all over the world.

I don't want to get into it. This is supposed to be a humorous show. So anyway, the bickering happens all over the world. And I guess I don't know where you found that particular piece of information. information, but I've always tried to make people laugh because, let me tell you, I tell this every day of my polar bear story. Is it okay? Okay, yes.

Your wife is cringing. But go ahead. This baby polar bear goes over to the mommy polar bear and says, Mommy, am I a pure polar bear? Like, no black, no brown says, mommy, am I a pure polar bear? Like no black, no brown, no grizzly, no Kodak. The mommy polar bear says, son, you are a pure polar bear. I am a pure polar bear. Your daddy is a pure polar bear. Go ask him. He'll verify what we're

talking about. I go to daddy polar bear and I say, Daddy, am I a pure polar bear? No black, no brown, no grizzly, no Kodak. Daddy Polar Bear says, son, you are a pure polar bear.

Your mother is a pure polar bear. I am a pure polar bear. Why do you ask? And the baby polar bear says, I'm fucking freezing. That's good. You want to ask something else that isn't true?

I'm afraid to ask. Wait a minute. I got one that is true. That show where you were choking on the chicken bone, is that where Norman Lear saw you? Possibly. He was doing a movie. Hey, I got a possibly.

Well, he was doing a movie, I think, on 12th or 13th Street. We were on 12th and 3rd. He was doing The Night they raided Minsky. Oh, sure. And he may have seen me there. He's a son of a gun, by the way. Am I allowed to say that on TV? Of course.

We just had him here a couple of weeks ago. That son of a gun, you know he's a billionaire? Is he? He's got some of my money, too. He doesn't give me any residuals. Wow. Wow. Interesting. How about that?

And that's the deal he made you, that he wouldn't give you any residuals? I was a rookie coming into TV in 1972. And he signed me, and he said, by the way, I'll give you, if we go to syndication, I'll give you residuals for the first year, but thereafter, I'll take them. I said, okay, go ahead. That's what happened. So now that was in 40, 72, we did it in 78.

One year was 79. So since 1980 till now, I don't get residuals. For more, I mean, I get residuals for other things. Screen Actors Guild protect you in that regard. But I thought that was quite naughty of him. He's got so much money. And my money, I did save quite a few bucks. I met a lawyer out here, Bruce Spring, what was his name?

Stiglitz, and he put me on a deferred tax plan. So I would pay very little money when I was making a lot of money. But when I reached the age 72, the government then wanted the deferred tax. government then wanted the deferred tax. So from 72 to 92, they took $100,000 a year and busted me. And so now I live on my SAG pension and I think the government's pension. And I get something from Actors' Equity a little bit. So I'm happy. You can see that right here and so on and so forth.

By the way, does your audience also able to see this show, or is it just the only way? No, it's just us for now. We record it, and then we put it up later on the Internet. And they won't be able to see our imagery? They will not, unfortunately. My God, I dress for the show. Look at the shirt that I'm wearing. They will not, unfortunately.

My God, I dress for the show. Look at the shirt that I'm wearing. Did you change the part of Walter, Bill, when you got it? Was he more of an Irishman? And you told Norman. You son of a gun. You son of a gun. You really have done your homework. I'll tell you what.

Because I'm from Brooklyn and I couldn't understand their sophistication, when we had the first meeting of the first reading of the first show of Maud, which existed because the president of CBS had seen B kill Archie on All in the Family. Oh, sure. And they made him a show. They wrote the part for Walter differently than what you've seen. Because after they showed us

the first reading, Norman says, does anybody have anything to say? And I said, of course, I have something to say. He says, go ahead. I said, what the hell kind of writing did you do for me? I'm a Brooklyn

Jew and you made me sound like an Irishman. They made me sound like Archie Bunker. Well, they didn't speak to me for months because I was so forthright. Wow. But that's okay. I didn't like what they had to say anyway. And so naturally I became Walter Unmored and I was happy to go to work every day, learn the lines and so on. And it was in love with Bea and in love with everybody else in the show. And then the show was over in 1978 and I went on to do the other thing with all the names that Gil had mentioned. I never knew that I worked with all those people. Go ahead, Gil. What's interesting is the borough of Brooklyn, which I was also born in,

how many of our guests come from Brooklyn? Now you were born in Brooklyn. Actually, he was born in Massachusetts. Wait a minute. My father was a... Frank is right on it. My father was a tailor in Lynn, Massachusetts. Yes.

And we lived in Revere, Massachusetts, which is 10 miles outside of Boston. And I was born there with my brother was born there. My older sister was born there. And then we moved to Brooklyn when I was about nine months to a year old. There you go. Oh, okay. Raised in Brooklyn.

Yeah, I was raised in Brooklyn. Oh, by the way, do you know how they teach the little kids in Brooklyn the alphabet? How? Fucking A. the way do you know how they teach the little kids in out uh in brooklyn the alphabet how fucking hey he's got a million of them i have one more question about maude bill that i just want to ask because i saw i saw a clip with you and it was moving that you're you're still moved to this day when you look back at the alcoholic episode, the alcoholic episode when you slapped Bea. That was brutal. It stays with you.

You know what happened? When we knew what we were supposed to do, Bea and I would step aside in private and say, listen, Bill, she would say, don't hit me in the ear. Because I had to hit her in the smacker across the face in one of the scenes towards the end of the first episode. She says, I don't want you to hit my ear. So we would just make believe, and I would bring my arm around so I would make sure that my hand was lower than her ear and on the cheek.

And so we did that a couple of times without hitting her. Then we had to do the show. Now, when we're doing the show, I forgot what I just said to you, and I was just redoing the show. I forget exactly what happened, what we were drinking, and I hauled off and hit her. I did not hit her ear, but as soon as I hit her,

she kissed me. I was alcoholic, and I broke down and cried. And then she said, Walter, we'll take care of you. You have an alcoholic program. Every time I think of that moment, it gets to me. Because I wasn't acting. I was like being.

And in fact, to change the subject a little, my wife is here behind me, and she's an actress also, and I had a scene in NYPD Blue in which I had to tell my son that his wife was just killed, his mother was just killed. And I said to Samantha, I said, I don't know how I'm going to do that moment. And she says, well, go to the phone right now and tell my father that I'm dead. Wow. going to do that moment? And she says, well, go to the phone right now and tell my father that I'm dead. The next day I had to go to work, came to that moment. I just plugged into that moment that Samantha had helped me. And I told my son that his mother was dead. And so that's how we keep

doing our thing. Good advice, Samantha. How about that? Well, Gil, what else you got for Bill? That's not true. What other bullshit question do you have? Right now I'm scared. I have a feeling I'm going to ask you about Maude and you'll say you were never on that show. Oh, tell Bill your Bea Arthur story. That's fun.

Oh, one time I was at some event and I bumped into Bea Arthur and she said, you know, hi, Gilbert, how are you? And I said, hi, Bea. And she goes, are you still living in the same place? And I thought, in the same place and i thought she's never been at my place but okay yeah and how are things for you and we're making small talk and then there's a pause and b looks at me and she goes do we know each other or do we just know each other from television and i said i think we just know each other from television. And I said, I think we just know each other from television. And Bea Arthur turns and walks away. You know, she was a champion at the kind of behavior that she exhibited. Can I tell you one thing that she said to me?

Sure. This happened, maybe we were into the show maybe a month, and we were doing the show over on Fairfax and Beverly, the CBS studios, and they had an elevator from the second floor to the ground floor, which was the slowest moving elevator extant, E-X-T-A-N-T. And one night, getting into the, because we were sort of strangers towards each other early on, and about the third week, we're both on the elevator alone,

and the elevator's on the second floor, and we're going to the first floor. She's on the elevator. I'm on the elevator. We're not saying anything to each other because we just finished working and so on and so forth. And as the elevator is descending, she looks at me and she says, Bill, you're like a rock. Despite your lack of humor, you're like a rock. I love that.

Hey, Bill, can we talk a little bit about my favorite year? Of course. What happened on my favorite year? You were Cy Benson, right? Jesus, you know more about me than I do. We had Richard Benjamin here, and we also had Norman Steinberg. So how did you wind up in that movie, which is just a favorite of Gilbert's and mine? How did I end up in that movie?

Maybe Norman asked for my services. Yeah, Norman Steinberg, because we used to be neighbors. Norman, what do you think? Are you with us? Hello. There he is. Norman, where are you? Are you with us?

Hello. There he is. Norman, where are you? Bill, I'm sitting in the B&H dairy with two orders of Perogin waiting for you. Where are you? I'm very good. I'm at Nate and Al's having herring. Oh, come on.

That's, please. That's not the same. That was 1965 or 67, somewhere in there. Is that when you guys met, 65 or 67? When he was doing Ocalcutta. What year was that, Bill? 69. Okay, 69. Kill me.

It was, and you were still driving a cab when we met and and i and then like two months later you had two bmws and i stayed in your house and in the in the palisades do you remember that no you know why because Because you're old. Let's get to the bottom of this. Do you remember? Do you know who this is? No. Norman, how did Bill come to be cast in My Favorite Year?

I said, we've got to get Bill. He was the best. And he had been in the producers. Bill, do you remember that? The producers, that's what Zero Mustel and Gene Wilder. Yeah, we covered that, Norman, before you got on. Wow. This sounds like I'm talking to Donald Trump. Norman, Norman, the most important thing is I'm looking at Gil, and he is the best audience I ever had. So you better come up with something that's going to make me laugh.

He's the best audience anybody ever has he is the best Norman was was Cy Benson based on an actual writer on a real person Bill's character yeah he was based who was the the Russian writer

who was on on show shows your show shows I'm trying to think of his name. But that's a great scene with Bill and Joe Bologna. And he says, if he doesn't like this, I walk. I walk. He came in and Joe said, what's that?

Something smells. Oh, it's the script. He said, pull. Jessica Harper threw the script up and he shot it. Of course, Bill said, hey, I'm not married to it.

It was a tower of jello. Yep. Sorry to tell you this, but King threw out the monologue. Leo, that monologue was good. Check that. Perfect. I wrote it. Here's where Cy Benson draws the line. Cy, don't do anything crazy.

King's got to be taught. First comes the word, and the word was funny. The monologue stays or I go. Cy, maybe we can compromise. No compromise. Si Benson has his integrity, his pride. King does that monologue word for word, or I walk. I walk. Monologue's in.

Morning, King. Morning, King. Close down. There you go. Morning. King, about the monologue. Si, do you smell something? It's coming from the script.

Oh, it's your monologue. Oh, what a stink burger. Casey, pull. Boom! I hate it. It's not funny. It's out. Hey, babe, we're not married to it.

Monologue's out. Si Benson babe, we're not married to it. Monologue's out. Cy Benson, a tower of jello. You listen, Norman's a writer, so he remembers that kind of stuff. He just brought back in my memory the behavior of that. All I remember is that I did a lot of yelling because that's why they hire me. Cause a lot of people don't have the computers and they have to hear me in some other manner. You're great in that part,

Bill. Talk, talk up, Bill. I can't hear you. There you go. You see what I'm saying? You,

you, you know that, you know that I love you very much. And I called your power. I didn't know that you were a homosexual. I'm a homosexual. What are you talking about? Give me a chance. I said, I have to talk to Bill.

She said, he's playing cards. Is that true? You go every day and play cards somewhere? Yes, I do. Why? What about it? Did you just suggest he was a homosexual because he said he loves you, Bill? That's right. Frank, you have the best ears of everybody.

You know, you didn't give me a chance to say I love Joe Bologna and he's passed. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm still here. You can show some affection. Yeah, I'm showing it. How old are you, Norman? Me?

I'm 78. Wow. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. You knew me when I was in my late 20s. And one of my ex-wives, anyhow. Norman, do you remember you coming to the house to interview Bill when he was doing O Calcutta?

No, my ex-wife interviewed him at the Eden theater we can that's where I first met him and then I said you came to our apartment and you said I got just got married and now all the world is taking off their clothes that's exactly right place and you were where you were in these I don't remember any of that crap. And you were where? You were in the East Village as well, weren't you? Yes, on 8th or something. We had moved up to 8th, I think. Yeah, way uptown.

Gil, Gil. I don't remember what these people are talking about. I think I told you, Frank, what these people are talking about. I think I've told you, Frank, about the sketch that, Bill, that you did in Ocalcutta. I think it was the first one where you were sitting on the porch

in the rocking chair. I just told him about it. He just told us about it. What do you think? What's your knowledge about it? Norman, I'm interested. My knowledge about it is that you had, I don't think you had a word,

and you're just listening to your son, who had just come back from college. He was explaining in excruciating detail every single nuance and thrust of a particularly dirty encounter with a woman and let me ask you a question okay go ahead how do you The word T-H-U-M-B. Thumb. How? Thumb. There was a guy named Mitch McGuire who replaced Leon Russum.

Because that was Leon's, when he was the original, he said, I learned how to use my thumb. And the audience would go crazy at a certain time. Mitch McGuire came in and started to say, I learned how to use my thumb. You know, Norman, what I did?

I went to him and he refused to change it. I quit the show. You quit the show because of that? There you go. Absolutely. I wouldn't work with a guy that was going to be so stupid. Norman, before we let you go, can you guys each say a little something about Joe Bologna, the great Joe Bologna, who just left us?

He married a girl I wanted to screw. He married a girl I wanted to screw. She's still around, Bill. Well, if Renee wants a small penis, she got one. Well, I think you did just as well. Your wife, I love your wife, too, and I miss you. And I have a bed for you up here, and I live in Red Hook, New York, in the Hudson Valley. Are there any cart casinos there? Yeah, you can go.

They're Indians. You can go mock them. I think Joe really genuinely intimidated you on that. Let me tell you the Jewish Norman, the Jewish term for a wild Indian is Vildahaya.

If you want me to mock an Indian, I got to go, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, Vildahaya. Now, Bill, you are my friend and you are also legendary. Norman, you have to understand. I'm going to call you at home and speak to you. Put it on the speaker so you can hear me. Listen to this. Gil, you have to understand about Gil. He invited me to do the show.

to do the show. And I have such a feeling for his implicit permission that's exactly how I'm behaving because he's the only one in the world, besides my wife, who sometimes says, talk to me dirty. And so I'm happy. I'm happy to speak to you, even though you're 78, and I don't hang out with young people anymore.

Norman, thanks so much for calling in and surprising Bill. Hey, Bill. I love you, Norman. I'm giving you a kiss, and I'll meet you at the B&H. Okay? You're welcome. He's very excited. I hope that happens before we both die.

Me too. Norman Steinberg, the legendary writer of Blazing Saddles and My Favorite Year. Norman, thanks. Thank you, Frank. Bye, buddy. Bye, Bill. Bye-bye. Oh, bye-bye, Frank. Bye, buddy. Bye, Bill. Take care, Gilbert. Oh, bye-bye, Norman.

Bye-bye. Bill. Yes. Everything I said about you, I never met you in person. And you look strange on this little kind of a Skype thing that we're using. But that doesn't make any difference. I remember you when I used to see you on TV. Wow.

And you're such a crazy person that I said when I was invited to come on your show, I said yes immediately. Now, generally speaking, I don't behave as I've behaved on your show. I'm a perfect Jewish gentleman. I don't use profanity. If I do, they kick me out of the casino. They don't even want me to make any allusions towards the opposite sex. And it's so fucking boring that when I was asked to come on your show,

I said, whoa! I finally made it. I got to ask you a question that ever since I heard you were in old Calcutta, it's the most important question. You being a guy there and a bunch of other guys, and there's these

attractive actresses around naked was there ever an embarrassing erection on stage yes there you go bill wait a minute i'm gonna answer the question uh specifically nancy tri bush specifically. Nancy Tribush, that's her name. You're laughing at her name.

I hope she can see this podcast because it's the truth. She and the other four ladies, there's five ladies and five men in the show

and in the part of the sequence, I told you about it, there was eight scenes of words and profanity and four scenes of nudity and music. So in this particular scene, Nancy told me later that the girls got together and said,

let's make the guys hard. So we were just lying down like this. And suddenly, Nancy's hand creeps past my thigh, grabs my dick. And I have no words, you know, just listening to the music. Jesus Christ, telling you the story, I'm getting hard right now. Well, it's an exaggeration. It's really semi-hard. I'm getting hard right now. Well, that's an exaggeration. It's really semi-hard. I'm only 95.

And then when we stood up to leave, she held on to my member and we walked off stage. Wow. There you go, Gil. I'm glad I asked that one. Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. Gilbert's looking to be in a revival. They've got to be young people, though.

Can you imagine about 10 95-year-old people on stage walking around naked? The Japanese wouldn't even come with their binoculars. Bill, let's talk a little bit about The Late Show, which I just rewatched yesterday, which is so much fun. You and Art Carney and Lily Tomlin. Yeah, it's one of my favorite shows. That show, you're really serious. You just watched it recently? I just watched it.

Well, I happen to own it because I have a big movie collection, and I just watched it again last night. It's so much fun. And you're such a perfect little sleazeball in the picture. Late show with Art Carney, who was the partner to Jackie Gleason for so many years as a comedian was brilliant. And that Frank Considine who hit me across the chest in that movie, he really hauled off and hurt me.

Oh, he did? I wasn't acting when I, I don't know if the rest of your audience could understand what we're talking about. When you're in the porno theater and he gives you the shiv with the elbow? Oh, boy, did he hit me. Woo! Yeah. I'll never forget it.

Yeah. And Lily Tomlin, it was just a gorgeous, gorgeous show. You know this movie? Oh, yes. Robert Benton and Robert Altman producing? Really terrific. To our listeners, if you guys haven't seen the late show, find it. Yeah, and Benton gave me the part because I had,

he was one of the writers in Old Calcutta, you i didn't know that that's a good connection i don't know what scene do you remember yeah we'll answer all sincere replies wife swappings wife swapping scene and uh we'll answer all sincere replies by the way old calcutta has been filmed. For any of you audience people that want to see Samantha's ass and my dick. And we're real good in it and funny too. I watched some clips on YouTube today. Do you remember, Gilbert will like this, Bill, this is a wild stab. Do you remember working with John Carradine in a movie called Death at Love House? No.

Okay. Was you, Sylvia Sidney, Dorothy L'Amour, Joan Blondel, and John Carradine? No. So we're batting 1,000. No, wait a minute. How can I remember? You're going back to the 40s. Yeah, well, it's the 70s, but close enough.

No, I wasn't an actor until... No, no, you did that, but it was a long time ago. It was the 70s. Gilbert loves John Carradine, so I took a shot. How about something more recent? How about The Jerk? Damn these glasses. There you go.

Oh! What was Steve Martin like? A pleasure. Yeah? He did his work. He's a talented person. He's a fantastic banjo player from what I've seen. And it was his first movie.

And he's done about 20, 30 movies since then. And my part of coming in to have some gasoline and listening to Somebody Hates These Cans and some stuff. You know, it was the director Carl Reiner. Carl Reiner, he was a perfect

gentleman to me. He was with me in three movies. He must have liked my work and so on. When I did my work, Gil, I don't think I was acting like a normal actor, act like with the resurgence and so on. I just am myself in that situation.

So when I said, damn these glasses, because they kept on falling off, I meant it. I wasn't acting, quote unquote. And when I do some of the other work that I do, it's just like before when I was talking to you about the piece where I had to tell my son that his mother was dead, you know. the piece where I had to tell my son that his mother was dead, you know, it just came over me, you know,

or when I hit B across the mouth, across the side of the face, I had no idea that my response would be what it was. You know, just even doing, talking to you on this particular podcast, I had no idea that that was going to happen to me. And, uh, I just have to live with it.

I'm just a crybaby. We were talking about Bill Persky before we turned the mics on and I was talking to Bill about directing you

in the movie Serial. He says, ask Bill if he remembers this moment. He's looking at his wife. Her breast is exposed.

He jumps up, runs into the bathroom, brushes his teeth, slaps on aftershave, washes his face, runs back into the room, and in 30 seconds, she's made the bed and she's gone. And he said you did it in such a funny way and in one take. I'm not going to say anything about it. I don't remember it. Okay. How about, do you remember the Broadway play, and this was a flop?

Do you remember being in The Roast? Marshall and Belson wrote? Also directed by Carl? Oh, my God. Who was the star of that? Peter Boyle, Barney Martin, Rob Reiner, David Huddleston, Doug McClure, and you. What did I do in that? You played, I'm trying to find it.

I didn't see the actual play. I remember when that came out. Yeah, it was about comedians. I don't remember it. Yeah. That came out? Yeah, it was about comedians. I don't remember it.

Yeah. I found your bio in the playbill, which is interesting. You know, it's interesting to me, Frank, that you know more about me than I do. I'd like to point this out, and maybe Samantha will get a kick out of this. In the playbill for that show, everybody has an extensive bio that's paragraphs, multiple paragraphs long. Peter Boyle and Rob Reiner. And Bill's bio just says, Bill Macy has acted before and likely will again. will again. Now, what was the story to

Bea Arthur leaving Maud? Oh, I'll give you a response to that. Bea was married to Gene Sachs, a Broadway director. And they eventually moved out here because she had the show

Maud. You know, Bea was a personal friend of Norman Lear. That's how she got into All in the Family, and then the CBS president called Norman after she saw her kill Archie in the show with Cousin Maud, and they wrote a series for Bea now they had two adopted sons

and I don't know literally what happened but her husband Gene met a younger woman and told Bea he was leaving her. At that time,

CBS wanted the show to go further. And B said, no, I can't go on at this moment. She had to recover from that kind of an experience. Wow. And three years later, she did recover by doing the Golden Girls. And like all people, her husband died. She died.

Rue McClanahan died. Rue McClanahan died. I shouldn't go into all of that now because you didn't ask me that question. You just asked me about what you did. I forgot what you even asked me. Well, so the show could have gone on a couple of more years had she not, in your opinion, had she not pulled up stakes when she did. That's right. Yeah, but, you know, it was what it was, you know, like this show that we're doing now.

What do you want to call this show right now? Give it a name, This Hour or whatever it is. Go ahead, Gil. I'll let you do that one. Starsky and Hutch. Starsky and Hutch you know the interesting thing first of all you have no idea

because you're over there and I'm over here my wife is right behind me Maggie our darling chauffeur with a dog is right here with us I'm in ecstasy now because you've invited me to talk to you.

Really. We're honored, Bill. And you've permitted me to be profane and vulgar and so on and so forth. And once I leave here, I may commit suicide. Before you go. I don't know who else is going to give me permission to behave the way I'm behaving on this show.

It's all downhill from here, right? It's downhill like the fastest elevator extent. It's like terrible. Wait a minute. Samantha. Yes. You won't kill me when we leave, will you? Absolutely won't.

Okay. Here's a question from one of our listeners, Bill, for you. This is from Scott Stewart. Did Bill get to keep any of the Opti-Grab props from the jerk because they'd probably be worth money now? Absolutely not. What do you mean worth money? That's bullshit.

Okay, Scott, there you go. You know, I'm cynical enough to know that there's money involved in the world and so on and so forth. But that's not – I told you they took $100,000 of me for 20 years and so they busted me. So I'm still going to be vulgar and alive and so on and so forth. But money, money. I'm happy to do the show just because you asked me to do it. Do you have any memories of working with Tony Curtis, Bill? That motherfucker?

Hey, Frank, even though I don't know you, I love you because you come up with the research that's so perfect. That son of a bitch. Here's what Tony Curtis did. Okay, let's hear it. We were doing, I forget the name of the show. The Scarlet O'Hara War. Okay.

And he had a big bus that he came to work in, and they gave me, believe it or not, a big bus to go to work in. And my me, believe it or not, a big bus to go to work in. And my bus, for this strange reason, pulled into what was considered Tony Curtis's spot on the way you park your cars. And his bus now was behind mine and didn't have his spot. He refused to go to work. Wow.

Because my bus was in his spot. Unbelievable. What a diva. So I told the driver to back up the bus, make the turn that's proper, just like the way Maggie and I had to come in two or three different entrances to get to this interview. We should have stayed at the second one

because there were a lot of naked ladies that night. And so that's the Tony Curtis story. That son of a bitch. Yeah. It had nothing to do with acting. It had to do with being a person Gil what else you got? I don't know what else is true

wait a minute you're the one that has done the research I don't even remember much of what we're talking about for instance every Friday night we watch the reruns of Maud on Time,

Warner Cable, Station 1258 and Tenor. And I look at Samantha, she's having a good time, and I say, what the hell is that? I don't remember. Is that me? I mean, it's a guy who's only 50. I'm 95 now.

How am I supposed to recognize a 45-year-old schmuck? I don't remember what you even did that. Mm-hmm. But I guess it was me. Here's another. Go ahead. And she just killed me in the show. Yeah.

Every so often, I'd get a chance to say, Mood! Sit! She just killed me in the show. Yeah. Every so often, I'd get a chance to say, Mort, sit! Did you hear what you just said? Did you hear what you just... My money! Well, it is my money. I earned it. Of course it is.

That's my point. I'm totally dependent on you, Walter. I live off your income. I'm a parasite. Come on, Mort. You're not a parasite. You have your work just like I have mine. You get for what you do nobody gives me a dime and that's the barometer Walter money you know you're being productive when somebody pays you money to do

something I'll give you five bucks to put on your dress God will get you. Thank you. What was Alan Arkin like to work with? Oh, you did bad medicine with Alan Arkin like to work with? Oh, you did Bad Medicine with Alan Arkin. Wait a minute. Alan Arkin. I think I fell in love with Alan Arkin. You know why?

That's right. He was a professional actor. Uh-huh. And we went to some southern place. Was it? Spain. We went to a foreign country to do it, right? Spain, says your wife.

Right. You know better than I do. Hey! You know, we were in a movie together. You're in that movie? I'm in Bad Medicine. Ah! Wow.

This is insane! It just popped into my head now. Insane. It just popped into my head now. You're like, there's one part in the movie where Steve Guttenberg gets shot. Thank God. And you want to like pay money to, you know, like how can we hush this up and and you're riding in the limo and then you have like a heart attack and and and then they all jump to it when you're having a heart attack if you say so yeah we were in that movie you were in the scene with him? Yeah. He played Steve Guttenberg's father, and I was Tony Sandoval.

Of course. This is so weird. You were a Spaniard? Yes. Yes. A very convincing one. Of course. All this time, I didn't even think about that.

That's because you're getting older, too. We were in a movie together. One degree of separation. Gilbert Gottfried and Bill Macy. It was in Madrid. So you've actually met. I don't know if we ever actually met, though. Okay.

Yeah, but. Still, whatever happened to Steve Guttenberg? He's around. Frank, what's your last name? Santo Padre. Holy Father. Come on, Frank. I asked you what's your last name? Santo Padre. Holy Father. Come on, Frank. I asked you what's your last name.

Yeah, Santo Padre. Are you Spanish? Italiano. Do you speak, do you understand Spanish? No, not at all. I don't understand Italian either. Well, because I could tell you a story in Spanish, but I'm not going to because if you or Gil doesn't understand it, I don't want to tell the joke in

English because it's not the same joke. No, I'm an Italian American kid from Brooklyn. Gil. Yes. I told you the polar bear joke, right? Yes. Do you give me permission to tell you what I consider a, well, it's a joke,

but I learned how to tell it in Spanish. But could I tell it to you in English? Oh, sure. It takes place in an old age home. This old lady walks over to this old guy and she says, you know, I could guess your age. He says, please, lady. Give me a break. I could guess your age.

He wants to get rid of her. He says, okay, lady. Give me a break. I could guess your age. He wants to get rid of her. He says, okay, okay, okay. What's my age? And she says, well, first you have to drop your pants. He says, get away, you're crazy. Drop your pants. I'll guess your age. He looks around. He drops his pants. What's my age? No, you also

have to drop your shorts. He says, you're crazy. Get away from me. Drop your shorts. I'll guess your age. Looks around. There's nobody there. He drops his shorts. What's my age? She grabs his balls and she goes like this.

95. He said, how the hell did you do that? She said, you told me yesterday. Do you know I tell that joke on my Dirty Joke DVD? He tells that joke in his act. Yeah. Oh, far out. I didn't know that.

Yeah. He tells it a little differently, though. Yeah. Yours has a finger in the butt. Oh, yes. I learned how to tell that in the Commerce Cas casino where they have many Spanish people working. They taught me how to say some of the words in Spanish. Un dia una mujer vieja dice a un hombre viejo en la casa con gente vieja tambien.

Ella dice, señor, yo puedo adivinar tu edad. I'm able to guess your age in Espanol. And when I meet a Spanish person, like I walk along the street and I see somebody who looks Spanish, and I say, mexicana, señor? He says, si. And I stand right there in front of him and tell him a joke. And I get three laughs. I get the laugh, drop the pants, drop the shorts.

And you told me yesterday. That's it. In Spanish. He also stops policemen and he says, pull over. And then when they do, he says, do you want the joke in Spanish or in English? Love it. My wife is here, and I got this joke with her and me in it, and it goes like this. Sam, golf course or intercourse?

She says, take a sweater. All right. Oh, gosh. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we have been talking to my old co-star from Bad Medicine, a film that even we haven't seen. You didn't see it? You didn't see the movie? No, that one I saw.

There's a bunch of others. We got a plug here, too, before we go. Bill will be appearing at the Hollywood Autograph Show at the Westin Hotel in Los Angeles on October 21st. Signing autographs. So if you want to meet the great and very funny Bill Macy, you look surprised that I'm giving you this plug, Bill. He's nodding.

You'll be at the Hollywood Autograph Show. Do I have that right, I hope? And most importantly... His wife is nodding. I hope it's true. In Old Town, an actress named Bush was playing with your penis.

Nancy, try Bush. Yeah, try Bush. Well, we want to thank Matt Beckhoff and we want to thank, of course, Maggie Irwin for being a saint and for getting Bill

to the interview and the lovely and talented Samantha to Norman Steinberg for calling in. And next time we talk to you, we hope we have one question that's right. Bill, this has been vastly

entertaining. I hope you had as much fun as we did. I'm sad now that it's over. Oh. We could go on, but we ran out of questions. We pretty much gave up after the first six fails. How about this one? You were in a TV movie called Diary of a Young Comic with Richard Lewis, Dom DeLuise, and Georgie Jessel. I remember that one.

Any memories of Jessel? Did you work with him? No. Okay. Wait a minute. Mention some of the other guys. Dom DeLuise. No.

And Richard Lewis. Yeah, Richard Lewis. His nickname was Dick. We loved Richard. How about Esther Rolle? Tell us something about Esther Rolle. We had John Amos here. You worked with Esther for so many years on Maud.

Yeah. We got along. John Amos was a personal, very good actor and so on and so forth. Anyway, I don't want to talk about that. I want to leave, because this is like the denouement, right?

Yeah, this is it. Let me do one more thing, which I do out wherever I go, and I want to do it here with you. Do you know what a ghost could possibly sing to another ghost?

What? Here it goes. I ain't got nobody I ain't got nobody. You missed your calling, Bill. You should have been a crooner.

This was fun. I love you. We love you, Wythe. Thank you for entertaining us within an inch of our lives. Thank you. Thank you guys so much. Okay. Once again, this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-star. That's me.

Oh, him. No, my co-star, Bill Macy. Oh, gotcha. From Bad Medicine and my co-host, Frank Santopadre. But most importantly, my co-star. Bill, we'll tell you, we've done 166 of these with some pretty funny people. We've had Stephen Wright and we had Dick Van Dyke. And who else did we have here?

Marty Allen. Marty Allen. Marty Allen and I don't think we've laughed this hard on any show. Wow. So. That's a very nice compliment. So thanks buddy. Thank you. Thank you. are Paul Rayburn and Andrea Simmons. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, Nancy Chinchar,

and John Bradley-Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Murray, John Fodiatis, and Nutmeg Creative. Especially Sam Giovonco and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. Thank you.