Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 194. Gino Conforti

Episode Date: February 12, 2018

Gilbert and Frank reach out to one of their favorite performers, actor Gino Conforti ("Three's Company," "Man of La Mancha") who discusses the life of a "journeyman" actor and looks back on his working relationships with Lucille Ball, Sammy Davis Jr., Zero Mostel, Debbie Reynolds and Orson Welles. Also, Sophia Loren takes a spill, Jerome Robbins takes a powder, Jonathan Winters comes to dinner and Gilbert and Gino remember the late, great John Ritter. PLUS: "Bungle Abbey"! Uncle Carl Laemmle! In praise of Tom Hanks! Gino "befriends" Sally Field! And the Golden Helmet of Mambrino! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: GILBERT) and Just For Men (www.hairregrowth.com code: Regrowth25). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You are listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. Hi, this is Guilt. Yeah. Let me do the intro. Oh, you do the intro. I'll shut up. Yeah, okay. I'll leave. I'll leave.

No, it's okay. Go ahead. Hi. I'm waiting. Yes, hi. This is Gilbert Gottfried. I would hope so. Because I'm looking at you, and if it's somebody else, I'm in shit street here. Oh, Christ.

Go ahead. Come on. Come on. Make the intro. This is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer Frank Verderosa. We are. with our engineer, Frank Verderosa.

We are. Our guest this week is one of the funniest, busiest, and most recognized film and television... Who the hell are you talking about? Yeah, television actors of the last 50 years. Recognized in the mall, you mean. Yes, you'll see me in the mall. That's right. And at the DMV.

I'm very big at the DMV. I'm looking at you now and you look kind of familiar. No, no, no, no. Somebody said that to me yesterday at the DMV. She said, all right, you look in the camera, smile.

I know you. I know you. I know you. I said, does that mean I don't have to take the written test? The other guy said, you'll take the written test. They all know the reason why. All right, let him get through it, Chief. What? What are we doing?

Are you done? No, it's long. You really prolonged this game. It hasn't even started. It's long. You really prolonged this game. It hasn't even started. It's long. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You've seen him in movies.

Yes. Like Man of La Mancha. Ah, yes. With a great film. With Peter O'Toole. Yes. How sweet it is. Yes, with Debbie.

Debbie, Debbie. Yeah. With James Garner. Good old James. Viva Max. With what? Viva Max. Oh, yes, there's another one.

With Peter Ustinov. He was great, and don't forget Johnny Winters was in that. Oh, yes, I was just about to say that. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm reading your script. Now I don't have to. Monsters, Inc. With Billy to. Monsters, Inc. What? With Billy Crystal.

Monsters, Inc. Were you in that? No. Okay. Okay, we'll cut it out. It doesn't matter. All right, so. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Monsters, Inc. was a cartoon. Yeah, you did additional voices. Well, how would I meet him? No, you were in it. We just said you were in it. Okay. No. Yeah, you did additional voices. Well, how would I meet him? No, you were in it. We just said you were in it. Okay.

No. Yeah, okay. When he was walking out of the men's room. Then I met him. That's right. Okay. That's right. Angels and Demons.

Yes. With Tom Hanks. He's our Jimmy Stewart. Okay. Yes. He's also. He's our Jimmy Stewart. Great guy. I love him. He's our Jimmy Stewart. Okay. Yes. He's our Jimmy Stewart. Great guy. I love him.

We did, what the hell do we do? We did television together. He's just the sweetest, he's a lovely man. Tom Hanks, you mean. Yeah. Who am I? Well. I thought you were talking about Jimmy Stewart.

Jimmy Stewart. I never met Jimmy Stewart. Okay. But you know who I did meet? I did meet once Gregory Pe Stewart. I never met Jimmy Stewart. But you know who I did meet? I did meet once Gregory Peck. I couldn't believe it. We were both in a flower shop. We were both in a flower shop ordering something, and they brought him a cake, and he was eating a cake. And I said, how do you do, Mr. Peck?

And he said, how do you do? And the flower guy said, oh, you don't know G now? I said, no. G now, this is Gregory Peck. I said, I know him. I just said, hello, Mr. Peck. And he said, how are you? I said, I'm fine.

I said, listen, I'd like to get into the academy. How do I do that? He says, I'll sponsor you. Wow. Wow, he did? Hello. Simple as that. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that was amazing. Just amazing. Okay, Simple as that. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was amazing. Just amazing. Okay, we got more intro here, Gino. Okay. He's so, so. Why don't we intersperse the intro with the conversation? No, I think that would be great. That would be just great.

What's the matter? No, hey, it's never been done. That's true. It's never been done. You's true. It's never been done. We could break new ground. Well, he's been on popular TV shows, including The Flying Nun. That's right, my dear friend Sally. Listen to me.

I'm total Hollywood. Did you hear that? Yes, Sally. My dear friend. Yeah. You know, Sally, I work with her. Did you hear that? Yes, Sally. My dear friend. Yeah. You know, Sally, I work with her. She's an adorable woman. My dear friend.

I've never been to lunch. That's terrible. Folks, it's, you know, let's be truthful here. I just work with her, and she's adorable. And it was my first show, you know. The Flying Nun. That was my first. First, we got to.

Are you through, Gilbert? Yes, I'm taking a nap. Oh, good. Okay, good. Because I'm tired, too. You played a used car dealer. That's right. No.

Yes, I did. Yes, you did. I did several with her. I watched it. Yes. Oh, well, that'll teach you. Anyway, that was my first show in, where are we? Hollywood.

Hollywood. I was in, we were doing Men of La Mancha. We had just arrived from New York. Kylie, myself, Joan Diener, yada. And we opened the Amundsen. The Amundsen was a brand new theater. And we inaugurated the theater. And so we did the Men of La Mancha. 16 weeks. Amundsen. The Amundsen was a brand new theater. And we inaugurated the theater. And

so we did the Manilow. It was 16 weeks. I said, what the hell? And like a dummy, I kept looking for buses to get from my place to the theater. And it's three hours later, right? So I had to buy a car.

So I bought a car. Now, where were we? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yes, Flying Nun. You had to buy a car. Oh, that's right. Flying Nun, I played that thing.

You did. Honest Hernando. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know more than I do. Well, it's on the cards, buddy. Oh, that'll teach you to read.

It's on the cards, buddy. Oh, that'll teach you to read. Anyway, they said, my agent out here said, we've got a job for you. And I said, I can't. I'm doing theater. I can't do. He says, no, no, you'll be through in time. And I said, okay.

And I was making like $175 a week, okay? So I do the gig. It's my first time. I couldn't believe it. a week, okay? So I do the gig. It's my first time. I couldn't believe it. He's there. Okay, you know, action. Yada, yada. And so don't do that because it's going to be hard on your feet

or whatever the hell I said. And then the guy said, thank you. And I went home. And the check came. The check came. $1,500. I didn't do anything for it. Wow.

Nothing. From $175 to $1,500 for, what, five minutes? Yeah, about five minutes of screen time. Well, I sold out, guys. Folks, folks, the listening audience, forgive this artist, but I sold out. I said, I can't go back to New York for $175. What about my pension? How am I going to raise a pension with $175?

I said, I'm staying. So I stayed. And you did all these credits he's about to read. Are we still introducing? Oh, yeah. Don't let me bother you. Go through a couple of those, Gil. And you were a good friend of

Sally Field, were you not? Absolutely. What the? Absolutely. Sure. I was a good friend with Peter Ustinov, Peter O'Toole, Sophia Loren, Lucille Ball. We were great pals. We used to go bowling. What's the matter with you?

And you were on Love American Style. That's where the first time I met Tom. Tom Hanks. Oh, wow. Yeah, we did Love American Style. I was playing some kind of a bellhop or something. And he came in with this girl, and I'm making this all up because who the hell knows. Who's going to know?

Who's going to know? It sounds like a Love American style plot. It was that. I did a lot of bellhops. Speaking of bowling, he's got one. I'm going to do a segue here, Gino. That was quite a segue. He's got Get Smart on here.

And I watched you on Get Smart and you were a control agent. And you were concealed in a ball return in a bowling alley. That's right. Do you know how hard it was to get in there? Spend an afternoon waiting for the cue? Wow. Because Don, well, never mind. Go ahead.

Okay. I'm not going anywhere. What was Don like? What was shooting Get Smart like? It was, I was by myself. Never saw Don. Never saw anybody. I walked in. It was dark. I said myself. Never saw Don. Never saw anybody. I walked in.

It was dark. I said, no luck. Yeah. The cameraman. And they said, okay, stand over there with the green screen. I said, okay. All right. Deliver your lines.

I said, okay. Okay. Thank you. That was it. Wow. That was it. I never saw Don. I never saw Don. I never saw anybody.

And during all that time, you were friends with Sally Field. Absolutely. We got closer. During this conversation we're having, we've become closer. By the time this show's over, she's going to invite me for dinner. She was a great lady. She was just great. You know, there's something interesting here, if I may.

Okay. You know, folks, you're used to, you know, the Oscars, the Demi, the whatever, the Ball, the Emmys, whatever. And you're used to seeing these so-called stars. You're seeing great people who have done great parts, and that's what you know. But you don't really see the support. When you're watching Beyonce and all those dancers back there, they're working. Of course. They're working.

Bruno Mars, all those guys back there, they're working. Bruno Mars is a star. You see, when you're a journeyman actor, as I have been all my life, and I just love it. I love what we do, and I know you do too, Gilbert, because it's a privilege. It's a bloody privilege to be able to do what we do because it's a service. But I got to tell you, when you're a journeyman actor, life is a little different as opposed to the white way, which I've been on.

Yeah. Anyway, we get a call from your agent, folks, and your agent says, Gino. Yeah. He said, well, you have to go to university. You have to read for a part. I said, oh, okay. I said, what's the part?

He says, you're the assistant assassin. I'm the assistant assassin? That's right. You go get the assistant. That's right. I want you to go read. You have to be there at 3. Bring a lunch.

And he's right because you walk into a room. There are 3,000 guys who look just like you. And you go in, and finally you get to read, and the man says, I know it's one line, Gino. It's just one line, but it's germane. I said, oh, germane? I never had a part that was germane. It's integral.

And integral? Wow, I don't know if I can handle that. I'll do the best I can. So he says, it's just the one line, but don't – it's very important. I said, okay. He says, now here's the line. Okay. All right, Louie, where's the money or you end up deep six.

And I said, you want to take the script and go somewhere and study it? No, I said, I think I can. I'll do the best I can for you. The one line, I can do that. So he says, okay, take it away. So I say, all right, Louis, where's the money or you'll end up in deep six. He says, oh. The director says, wow, that's fantastic.

I love it. It was just wonderful. I'm so pleased you came. I wonder if you could do me a favor, Jim. I said, sure, I'm here. He said, I would like that little color. I said, you want a little color? Yeah, I said, I would like just a soup song, a soup song of heft.

You want heft? Yeah, just a soup song. You know, don't go over the top. No, I wouldn't go over the top. But heft, okay. I think I can give it to you. He said, all right, read it again for me.

All right, Louie. What'd you do with the money? You, what? You're gonna end up in the East River? Yeah. Oh, wow. That was some reading, Gina. That was fantastic. And the heft was, That was some reading, Gina. That was fantastic.

And the heft was, it was not too much heft. No, no, no. It was just, that's the kind of stuff you do. You know, Eurasian doesn't call you and say, when you're a journeyman actor. The Asians then say, there's going to be a car for you at 5 o'clock. Ridley Scott wants to see you about the part of King Bacigalup III of Sicily. Bacigalup. And Iily. Bacigalup. And I said, Bacigalup III.

And he says, yeah. I said, what's it about? He says, it's very simple. He says, it's about this king, yeah, who is in Sicily, yeah. And one of his guys comes and he says, king, there's a lot of crap going on on the seashore. I said, what do you mean? He says, a lot of guys down there. A lot of guys I never saw before.

They came in boats and the whole thing. And he said, so what? He says, I think they're marauders. I think they're going to take over. What? Marauders? Hey, I don't make, hey, assemble my army, sir. He assembles his army.

And he goes to the coast and he says, mamma mia. Mamma mia. Look at all them boats. Holy cow. And big. And look at the guys and the girls. The girls have got that. Look what they could do with swords. Holy, and I tell you what, you go down there and you invite them for lunch. So they come and have lunch with King Bajigalup. And it's great. And eventually the marauders assimilate in the Sicilian society. A couple of them open up pizza parlors right on the coast because location is very important. You know, our engineer just –

See, we don't do that. Yeah, I know. I want to go over some of those journeyman roles that you're talking about, Gino. But Frank, our engineer, just informs us that we haven't said your name yet. It's okay. It doesn't matter. The introductions normally are long. This one's like a three-hour introduction.

But it's fun. We're talking to the great character actor, Gino Conforti. And here he is with us. Now, he's going to plow through these real quick. I'm going to go through this. He kills us. Oh. Plowing.

Here's Lucy. Yes, you worked with Lucille Ball several times. Now we're talking giant. We are talking giant. This woman was the most extraordinary artist I've ever worked with, among others. First gig I got, I was told, be careful. Mind your P's and Q's. Watch out. She's a toughie. She's a toughie. Make sure your lines are learned.

Hit the spot. Don't screw up. I said, Jesus. Oh, okay. So I arrive, and she's charming. Sweet. She introduces, she walks over. She walks over and introduces herself. And she says, yes, I know that. She says over and introduces herself. I go, hello.

And she says, yes, I know that. She says, we're going to do this scene together. I said, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. So we start the scene. It was, I played a thief. Yeah, you were, it was a burglary. That's it. Here's Lucy.

Yeah, right. So we're going through the scene. We're rehearsing. And she says, okay, go through the door there. And then you jump over the thing. And I go, Lucy, Lucy, that's not going to work. Well, you could have heard a pin drop. I mean, everybody on the set just dropped their jaws. They were waiting for Lucy to just give me what for.

And she looked at me, and she looked at the DP and the director, and she says, you know, he's right. He's right. And make sure you follow him with that camera. And subsequently, we did a lot of other things together. And she was so gracious, so lovely. I found her to be quite an artist because you don't deliver what she could deliver without being an artist. Interesting.

You never had any problems with her? Ever. You did Bungle Abbey. Do you remember doing Bungle Abbey with her and Gail Gordon? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. I played the guy who kept ringing the bell. That's right.

And, yeah, it was her first directorial pursuit. It was you, Gail Gordon, Charlie Callis, and Guy Marks. Oh, jeez. It was incredible. How about that, Joe? And we put, it was on tape. So we were on the stage

with the thing and we're all walking around with these gowns on like I did with Angels and Demons. Right, Friars Roads, yeah. Yeah, I used to look good in it. Anyway, so she directed. And she'd stop you. She'd say, that ain't fun.

That's not fun. No, you have to move. You know, she was good. She knew comedy. Just good. Yeah, yeah. So we're ready for taping, and she's not there. And they're saying, where is she?

Where's the booth? She should be in the booth. The booth, folks, is the recording area of a taping. You all know that. You've been to tapings. And she's supposed to be up there directing. She's not there. So where's Lucy?

Lucy's sitting in the front row of the auditorium. She's watching. So they run down and say, Lucy, Lucy, you're supposed to be in the booth. She says, what for? I've already directed it. She was right.

She had no need to go up there and push buttons. That's the text job. And it worked. A pro's pro. She's just extraordinary. Like Sophia Loren. There's another one.

Yeah, you did Man of La Mancha with Sophia Loren. She's just the most extraordinary woman. She is just the most – She is the queen of Italy. She's adored. And you can't say enough about her. One day we were doing La Mancha. And she had a scene with Peter and she had to go to him. And she made a slight trip on one of the cables. Just ever so slight. She didn't fall down. Just a slight trip. Well, my friends, the set closed down.

The cameras stopped. People were rushing to her. Craft service. People from the offices. If you were driving by, cars would stop. Transportation stopped totally. This woman was, is, I should say. by, cars would stop. Transportation stopped totally. This woman is, I should say, is an adored woman. And everybody going around, get the doctor, get the hospital, call the Mayo brothers, all that stuff.

And she's fine. She goes home. She's back on the set the next day. Nothing wrong. Her ankle's not taped. Nothing. So I walk over to her and I said, Sophia, Sophia, how's the ankle? I lift

up her foot and I caress her ankle. And she says, oh, Gino, it is much better now. I said, I'm so glad. But it is the other ankle. I like that. She was just,

she had a great philosophy. I loved her philosophy. She's six o'clock. I go home. I don't watch the news. I do not watch the news. I have my pasta and we play cards and I go to bed. That's it. She was just, she was she was she was a fellow Neapolitan.

Right. I was going to say for an Italian kid from Chicago to suddenly be on the set with – well, rubbing the ankle of Sophia Loren. I mean, yes. It's all – well, I was going to say mind-boggling, but it isn't. What about O'Toole? It is now. It is now. It is now, but it's not then. Then you're dealing with an artist.

Yeah. Someone who shares your privilege of being able to entertain. Gilbert, I mean, you know that. You got a gig in Chicago. There are a thousand people waiting for you. He has no gratitude, Gino. You're talking to the wrong person. No, no, no.

He's great. No, no. He's great. He knows what I'm saying. What about O'Toole since we're talking about La Mancha? The legendary Peter O'Toole. And he was legendary. And he was lovely.

That's the thing about these giants. You were the barber, by the way. I just want to point out to our listeners. Peter Ustinov, all these giants were gracious and giving because we were fellow artists. It's just like that story I told you about Lucy. All the star thing, all that nonsense disappears, it evaporates so the major stars

you never had trouble, you never saw like a difficult thing with them never, I worked with Donald Pleasance Charles Gray, Charles Gray knitted a sweater I'm wearing it Charles Gray how about Zero?

Zero? Yeah, you're in the original trailer on the roof. Zero? You want to talk about Zero? Total madness. And brilliant. And brilliant. And he was a fine painter.

He was a miniature. Yeah. We had his son on this show. Jonathan Winters. Jonathan Winters, yeah. But we had Zero's son here, Josh. Josh, yeah. Zero was extraordinary.

That's the first show that I think Jerry Robbins was ever chased offstage, and I chased him. Wow. Because he said to me one day, he said to me one day, we're rehearsing and he yells out. He says, Gino, you're upstaging Zero. I said, what the hell are you talking about? What? It's like upstaging an aircraft carrier. Are you nuts?

And he got a little trepidation, came on stage. And I got very Italian. I'm sorry, folks. Once you're an Italian, you can't do that. He got very Italian. I got crazy. I went after him. You took off after Jerome Robbins.

Right. Wow. Which should be in the book that Goldman wrote. Anyway, we talked about that, Frank. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah, but I wanted our listeners to hear it. Did he come out?

Are you listening? What? What did you tell me about Zero on the phone? That you were on the roof? Oh, it's a great story. I played the fiddler. Right. Which means I... Oh, gee, there's another story that's so...

Anyway... Are you offended, Gilbert, that an Italian guy was playing the fiddler? Yeah, a fucking guinea. Wait a second. Wait a second. You're stepping on my story. Okay, go ahead. You pucks. Wait a second. You're stepping on my story. Okay, go ahead.

You puss you. Jesus. So, God, these are hot. Anyway, where the hell were we? You were on the roof. Oh, Zero, that's right. So I'm on the roof. I'm playing the fiddler, right? So, one night,

because Zero was naughty, he was naughty, and he got bored fast. They're all waiting in the wings for the opening number. Tradition. Tradition. And he leads the cast out and singing this song. I'm up on the roof going dingy-da-bang-da-boom. And I'm waiting.

Curtain's up. House lights down. Stage lights up. And we're waiting for the downbeat. And out walks Zero. Just walks out. And wanders around the stage. And the audience is starting to laugh, of course.

You know, I mean, Zero up there. And he's just wandering around. And at one point he looks up and he sees me on the roof and he says, Get off that roof, you wop. This is a Jew show. True story. And then he went back in the wings and we started the show. That's going to be the new catchphrase on this show.

Get off the roof, you woman. Don't go away. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. after a word from our sponsor. At Miele, our partner is the planet. Our appliances use less water and energy and are tested to last for 20 years of use. That's the ultimate form of sustainability. I'm Nelson Fresco, president of Miele Canada.

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You need Gilbert and Frank. Honey, you need them. They're going to give you their. They're going to give you their love. They're going to give you their love. They're going to give you their love. They're going to give you their love. G-G-A-C-P love. That sweet, funky love. G-G-A- give you their love. GGACP love.

That sweet, funky love. GGACP love. Nice and hard. GGACP love. It's Gilbert and Frank love. And now back to the show. What an introduction to show business. I mean, you were a young actor.

Oh, you know what? That phrase about being a young actor is really a young journeyman. Mm-hmm. You know, I did my background at university, and we talked about it at university. It's Shakespeare. Mm-hmm. Did a lot of Shakespeare. and we talked about it as a university.

It's Shakespeare. Did a lot of Shakespeare. I was with a road company that toured the United States for two years and Europe. And as a young actor, and they throw Shakespeare at you, you go out and do it. You go out and do the part, and you have no idea what the hell you're talking about. None.

It's all Shakespeare. Just great flowery words. There's inflections and you've sword fight and you do all that shit and you never know what the hell you're saying because you're not schooled yet in this. I'm taking a class now with a wonderful, wonderful professor at the American College. I'm taking a Shakespeare class. You're taking classes now at age 86. God bless you.

That's wonderful. Did he have to say that? Gil? Did he have to say that? No, he says a lot of stuff. He's such a pain in the ass. Now, getting back to... We heard a rumor on this show that Guy Marks had a big dick.

That's funny. That's kind of a jump, isn't it, Gil? That was a rumor that we heard on this show. Yeah, you're expecting me to comment on that. Yes. Uh-huh. Next. Make up a story.

No. What do you think I've been doing? What do you think he's been doing? Now back to the intro. Okay. Oh, Jesus. I can't believe we're doing intros. Yes.

What? Go ahead. The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Yes. Yeah, what about it? Were you on it? Yes, he was. Yeah, I was on it.

Next. Any recollections? Yeah, I did it. He was Roy Martoni. I did the show. I did it. He was Roy Martoni. I did the show. I did it. What? You know, well, let me ask you, do you have

great memories of every single thing you've done? Yes. Well, you have had an extraordinary experience because, no, yes, well, Mary Taylor, what can you say about Mary Taylor Moore? She was had an extraordinary experience because – no. Yes. Well, Mary Tyler.

What can you say about Mary Tyler Moore? She was sweet and she was dedicated and she was talented. And a great straight man for all those people around her, all those other bananas. Oh, yeah. They were wonderful. You know, that's where – it's interesting because we're talking about journeyman actors. There are all kinds of bananas. There's second bananas, third bananas, fourth bananas.

You know, Angels and Demons had the star. But you had to have some guy walking around in a red dress to deliver a line. And it becomes important. Of course. It becomes important. But we love the journeyman actors on this show. We love character actors. We've had a bunch of great ones.

It's a privilege. It is just a privilege. I can't tell you because you're making, you're doing a service. You know what it reminds me of? 747 about to take off. This is to me has always been the epitome of what we do. You're sitting in the 747 and it's takeoff time. And you hear the engines revving.

And then you hear, Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to take off. Make sure your chairs are up and you grab the handles of your seat because it's going to be white-knuckle time. No, he doesn't say that. So the engines begin to get louder and louder and the plane begins to taxi down the runway, and it goes faster and faster,

and you're sitting there, and it rises in the air, and you hear the landing gears retracting, and you know you're on your way. And the thing that's interesting, it is the most dangerous part of the flight because you can't turn around. And that's exactly what it's like when you put your foot on stage.

Those people are out there. They paid their money. They're going to look at you. And when you finally step on the stage, that's the butterflies, the anxiety, the sense of adventure. But you're going to do something. You're going to serve. You're going to give. And they may laugh.

They may cry. They may throw tomatoes. It's all worth it. That's a great attitude for a performer. Gilda, do you feel that way? Oh, yeah. That you're of service? Oh.

You know, Gilbert's hoping that there'll be a flood in the club and they'll come and tell him he won't have to go on. Do I have that right? Yeah. That the sprinkler system went off. My dream is that the manager will come back and say there was a flood, a fire, and his you check. It's a little close to Gino's. Many a play I've done, I've felt exactly the same way. You know, it's tough doing

Moliere with high-heeled shoes on a rake stage. I couldn't wait for the entire theater to just collapse. What was that wonderful? I was doing Shakespeare, yes, in a college all over the country. Nine months of touring. These were— The Players Incorporated? That's right.

These were one-night stands. And we did it all. We had the cast and the truck with the costumes and the set and the whole thing. We used to arrive, set up, do the show, take the set down, go to the motel, have two hours sleep, and then get up and do the same thing. But this one, oh, God, there's so many. But this one was wonderful. It was a small college in the South, and they were excited. They were excited. And we were doing Julius Caesar, get out of town.

So we're about ready to go on, and young man, young student with a camera says, do you mind if I take pictures while you're in the performance? I said, no, no, just as long as there's no flash. No, no, no, no, sir, we don't have no flash here. I'm just going to take a picture. I said, great, wonderful. Yes, we look forward to it. I'm going to put it in the school paper. I said, wow, that's wonderful. Anyway, we're on stage. paper. I said, wow, that's wonderful. Anyway, we're on stage. Caesar's up center. I'm down left. I play Casca.

Okay? And in my I'm waiting and Caesar's going yada, yada, yada. And I look to my left and there's the photographer. He's on stage with me. In the middle of a Shakespearean performance.

Clicking away, my dear. I just IP'd. And in my best Gil Good voice, I said, speak hands for me. And I went up and I stabbed Caesar like two cues before the eyes. And he couldn't believe what was happening. Meanwhile, all the other guys had to follow me. So we were stabbing Caesar and screaming with laughter.

Meanwhile, we look up because it's a bundle of togas now in the middle of the stage. And we look up and there's the guy. He seems really funny. Here's a question about Man of La Mancha. Do you remember any of the songs? Do you know that you sang? Do you remember the... The Golden Helmet. The Golden Helmet. I of the songs? Do you know that you sang? You remember the...

The Golden Helmet. The Golden Helmet. I was just going to ask you about that one. Yeah. That was a fun song. Yeah. But it was a... You know, that was...

The Golden Helmet of Mambrino. Mambrino. Can you sing any of it for us? Sure. Golden helmet of Mombrino. I told you I wanted to finish it. It was a short song. That was beautiful.

It's a very short song. Beautiful. I got a tear. Yeah. Speaking of tears, you got more to say? No, I was going to say, do you remember like

Ted Knight and Ed Asner? No. No, he didn't have scenes with them you remember like Ted Knight and Ed Asner? No. No, he didn't have scenes with them. Just by yourself. Just Mary and Rhoda. Oh, okay. Can I get back to the intro? Okay, why not? We're still into that. Hey, this could be a new thing.

This could be a new thing because you know, people are bored of hearing what I have to say and you come in and you do something. We've invented a format. They're probably looking at the radio. You remember looking at the radio? My family used to look at the radio to hear Jack Benny.

That's great. No, we all do it. We sit around and listen to Jack Benny and Amos and Andy. And we'd watch the radio. Don't you remember doing that? Of course not. You're all 12. Well, yeah, I think we both grew up with TV.

Yeah. But we did. You know, Gino and I did talk about Sidney Greenstreet on the phone, Gilbert. Oh, wow. One of your favorites. I was asking Gino what actors he admired when he was younger. And he said, and Sidney Greenstreet came up out of the blue. Yes, it did.

And I'm going to kick it off now because what we were really talking about was Orson Welles. Oh, that's correct. Okay, so good. That's a good story. Talk to him, Gilbert. Please talk to him. And he has a script. I can't believe this.

Well, it's a very disjointed interview, Gino. But yeah, tell him the Orson Welles story because that's good. Oh, great. It's a very disjointed interview. Tell them the Orson Welles story because that's good. Oh, great. There's another giant. You think, oh my God, Orson. What the hell am I doing on this? It was a remake of It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, we discussed it on the show. And it was Christmas.

It happened one Christmas. That's it. It happened one Christmas. I was a factotum. I pushed him around in the wheelchair. It happened one Christmas. That's it. It happened one Christmas.

I was a factotum. I pushed him around in the wheelchair. And at one point, we had a small scene together. And he did his thing, sitting in a wheelchair. And it was my turn. The camera turns to me. And he says, action. And Horson Wells says, hold it. Cut.

And the director says, yes. I mean, everybody jumped when he talks. He says, no, no, wait a second, he said. No, I don't like the way Geno is lit. I don't like it at all. Anybody got a white card? And a white card, folks, is nothing more literally than a three- 3x5 card that's white. He put it on his lap and began to focus the light on my face until he felt that I was correctly lit.

Isn't that nice? Nice. Generous. Nice. That's, you know, mind-boggling. Nice. Generous. Nice.

That's, you know, mind-boggling when you're working with someone like that. It's just, you know, you go home and I said, I don't believe that just happened. The nicest man. The director of Citizen Kane. Right. Did that feel. Yes. How about that? And other people had, you know, had less than pleasant experiences with him from time to time.

Frank, I've been very fortunate. I've been very, very fortunate. Everyone I've ever worked with has been charming, gracious. Until today. Today is the pits. Today is the lowest I've ever been. And I can't wait to get the hell

out of here. Have you ever worked with Sally Field? We're back to Sally Field again. What is it with this Sally Field thing? He's messing with you. Jesus. Can I get back to the introduction? Please.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Jesus. Pick it up from this part here, Gil. Well, no, we didn't mention happy days. Oh, happy days, yes. Oh, yeah, with, you know, Howard, yeah. It was great.

It was great fun. It was wonderful fun. No great stories, just a lot of fun. It was great fun. It was wonderful fun. No great stories. Just a lot of fun. You know, Gilbert. You were a henchman to a Sidney Greenstreet type of villain in that. Oh, wow. Yeah.

No, I played a villain on a sitcom. You know how villainous that could be. And so, but it was, everything was fun. Yeah. You enjoyed all those parts. I enjoyed being an actor. I can't tell you because they don't know any better. People have come up to me over the years and they said, Jesus, you just didn't make it, did you?

It just didn't happen for you, meaning I'm not a star. Thank God. I said, no, I made it and I'll tell you why I made it. Because I'm still doing it. Now, people at 86 say to me, are you retired? Yes and no. I had to retire for six – I told you that, Frank. I had to retire for six years.

Why did you have to retire? I'd rather not go into it. It's maudlin and who needs it? This is a comedy show. Oh, okay. Right, Corey? Right? He's working the engineer. All he does is he gives me fingers. Anyway... He's pulling a Jackie Mason on you. Yes. No, I won't go into it. Anyway. He's pulling a Jackie Mason on you.

Yes. No, I won't go into it anyway. In this town, if you're gone for 24 hours, for all intents and purposes, you've been buried. Yes. That's it. You're dead. Well, your IMDb page proves that you made it in show business because there are hundreds

of credits there. It's one of the longest pages of anybody we've had on the show. Well, what can I say? It sounds so saccharine. But I've been privileged. We're all privileged to be able to do this. It's extraordinary. I said I have an agent in do this. It's extraordinary.

I said, I have an agent in New York. I love her. I rarely hear from her. But she's in New York. What is she going to do here? I don't have anybody here. And she said, we're going to send you out on something. I said, wow, great. It's the first call outside of my commercial agent who God love them, you know, sends me out from time to time.

But I said, wow, that's the first call I've had in nine years. Nine years. And I said, wow, I got so excited. Oh, so. So anyway. Oh, so. So anyway. See, I don't know squat about, I'm bereft of any technical ability whatsoever.

My wife, Therese, my son and my moon does all that stuff for me because without her, forget it. I wouldn't be here now. We have to thank Therese. And, you know, being an actor like you, like, if something fails, if something bombs, the star then takes the blame for it.

Of course! And it's very unfair. It's extraordinarily unfair. They have... Well, film as a whole, I don't know what the hell film is. I've been doing it for years because I needed the money. But I'm a theater man. That's my background.

That's what I miss. I miss being on the theater. You miss the live audience, the immediacy of it. Of course. Of course because right – Frank, it's an immediate thing. You walk on, you can hear the raspberries. Wrong. That's not good what he's doing.

Get him off. Or laughter or tears or whatever. You're doing something. So, yeah, I miss the immediacy. There was a time I had to play a cowboy. All right? And you know what I look like And you know what I look like. You know what I look like.

And I said, you're going to be a cowboy. I said, okay, I'll go. So it turns out I had to be a Mexican bandit. Gee, what a surprise. And I said, okay. So they put this crap on me and my costume, and it was all too big, and the boots felt like I hurt my ankles. Anyway, I got on the horse. And I said to the wrangler, you know, I'm not a horse.

Well, we get back to La Mancha. No, not La Mancha. What are the humps? Humps, yeah, you played in that, yeah. With the camel. You were a camel instructor. Yeah, that's right. With a British accent.

That's right. Anyway, what the hell was I talking about? I don't know, but I love the diversions. You were talking about they put you on a horse and a cowboy. They put me on a horse. And it turns out I'm the leader. Right. I'm the leader of this gang.

And they're all behind me and I'm on the lead horse. And I say to the wrangler, I'm not quite familiar with horseback riding. I hope that this is – don't worry, kid. Don't worry. No, this is a pushy cat. No problems at all. So I hear on the megaphone, action! And we're supposed to be riding down into this thing and shoot everybody.

So the horse hears action before anybody else hears action. And this horse took off, my dear, just took off like you can't believe, leaving my gang behind. And I'm straddling this thing, holding on to the saddle horn, screaming at the top of my lungs. Meanwhile, the camera's on. Here comes the bandit screaming like a little girl. Oh, my God. Oh, stop. Stop.

Please stop. But the camel was fun. I tell you what, you know, I had to learn how to fly it. Oh, stop. Stop. Please stop. But the camel was fun. I'll tell you what. You know, I had to learn how to fly it. No, no, you dump. Ride it. Ride it.

Ride it. Yeah, Homs. You're talking about Homs? Yeah. Yeah, with James Hampton. You played Haji Ali. That's right. The camel instructor. Yeah, the Arab camel instructor.

Right. But he had a British accent because he went to Oxford. He went to Oxford, yeah. He spoke like this. He had a monocle and stuff like that. Anyway, this is a true – based on a true story about the West and how someone in Washington thought it would be a good idea to not waste horse flesh. Let's teach them how to. Give the cavalry what is that animal?

Camels. Camels. I'm 86. Leave me alone. Where did you pick up your gift for dialects, Gino? Because I'm looking at these parts, and I was telling Gilbert on the phone, they cast you as a Frenchman. They cast you as an Arab. They cast you

as, you were French balloonist. Do I have a story for you? Okay. Three's company, right? Yep. Okay. You were Felipe. I'm Felipe. I do the cooking and the washing and I can't stand Jack Reader.

Okay. Okay. Now I get a call to do a part on Three's Company. So they send me the script. And I look at the script and I start to laugh. It's pretty good stuff.

There it is. Filipe. F-E-L-I-P-E. Filipe. How else am I going to talk? This is how I talk. You wrote Filipe. F-E-L-I-P-E. Filipe, how else am I going to talk? This is how I talk. You wrote Filipe, I talk like this. So I went for the audition.

And I'm doing the shtick. And the producers are laughing. They're having a good time. So one guy, one guy, just angry as hell, never cracked his mouth, kept his nose into the script. And I'm saying, Jesus, I'm not getting to somebody here, that's for sure. Turns out to be the head writer. Well, I get hired. Come to find out that whoever typed the script – they used to type in those days.

Whoever typed the script did not spell F-E-L-I-P-E but spelled P-H-I-L-P-P-E. Philippe, the author of this particular character, had written a Frenchman. Oh, that's great. I got Philippe, so naturally I went. He didn't know what the hell was going on. Oh, that's so funny. You mean that character from Three's Company was designed to be a Frenchman? That's right.

And he misspelled Philippe. Wow. No, now he didn't, but, you know, they give it to the... Somebody, one of the typists. Yeah. Do you find... That's a. And he misspelled Philippe. Wow. No, he didn't, but, you know, they give it to the – Somebody, one of the typists. Yeah. Now, do you find – That's a great story. You did so many of these wacky foreign characters that nowadays people would be extra sensitive about –

Oh, oh, please. Are you kidding me? We're in a strange – we're in a strange period of time. I can't believe, I can't believe that we have to call this the beginning, the era of the woman. That's absolute madness. The era of the woman began when the guy in the cave said, Matilda, keep the water boiling because I'm coming back with a saber tooth. And I want you to put the saber tooth. Okay.

So what the hell are we talking about? About your foreign characters. Yeah. No. He's talking about political correctness. Political correctness. I don't understand. The women have been the powerhouses of the world since the world began.

The only difference is that it became a patricicle. That's not right but it doesn't matter. You get what I'm saying. Patrician society, a patrician system. The men took – the men had the power for the simple reason that they had the money. And the women had no say so. Right. Because the men had the money.

There's a great play whose author I've forgotten. It's Roman or Greek, probably Greek. It might be Aristophanes. It might be Seneca, whatever. Greek. Might be Aristophanes, might be Seneca, whatever. And it's a wonderful story about the ladies of this

kingdom. And one day Mrs. King comes in and says, Mr. King? He says, yes, my dear. She says, I want to talk to you about something. And he says, okay. He says, listen, I'm getting a little tired of you going off with all your boys. I wouldn't

mind it if you go to a bar, but you don't. You get on your horses and you start killing people and it gets tiresome because I'll tell you why it's tiresome. You come home, you're bloody, your clothes are filthy, you're dirty. All you want to do is sit down and have a meal, a little pasta salad. Then you want conjugal. That's it. Ride on a horse, have some pasta and conjugal. That's your life. She said, that's it. That is the end of that. The girls and I have been talking. The girls and I have been talking. You guys stop the wars right now or there is no more conjugal. It was a comedy. What a premise.

What a premise. Yeah. I mean, the ladies could do that today if they wanted, if they could. Shut it down. If they could. That's a great idea. Put that out there. I'm waiting for important people who are women to help run this country.

They're in there. They're in the Congress. I'm tired of – what? Did you know that Lemley – Carl Lemley. Carl Lemley, Uncle Carl. Right. When he started out, he had – the figures are incorrect because I only read it once and I didn't memorize it. He had some 40 or 50 women doing the scripts, and he had 35 women directors.

Oh, I didn't know that. Did you know that, too? Geez, no. That's great. He was having, you know, and it was successful. In the 30s, no less. Yeah, it was successful. Now the talkies come in.

Oh, before the 30s. Yeah, talkies come in in and he needs cash. It's expensive. He needs cash. So he goes to, I will not mention names, but two prominent gentlemen with a great deal of money. And they said to him, sure, fine. But you got to get rid of the women. You got to get rid of the women.

We will not stand for women directors. Wow. Or women writers. I didn't know this at all. This is great cinema history. Yeah. It's history. It's absolute history. Now, I'm paraphrasing. Yada, yada. Of course. I don't remember a lot of stuff. I don't remember what I had for breakfast.

I'm sorry, Therese. I do. How did you pick up the gift for dialects, Gino? Because I'm looking at my card. You played a French balloonist on Grizzly Adams. That was fun. That was fun. You played Aldo the knife thrower on Macmillan and Wife.

You did Arabs. You did Spaniards. You did Frenchmen. You were able to do whatever they threw at you? That's right. And I don't ask why. Do you have an ear for it, like Sid Caesar or somebody like that? Yes, yes. I do have an ear for it.

And, you know, when you're a singer as well, you pick up the ability to sing various languages, et cetera. You know, and I don't know. So you were a go-to guy for those kind of parts. Yet, you know, Conforti because he could do any accent or any dialect. You sound like my then agents who weren't very powerful. But they were very nice. It is.

It's like I remember growing up on all these actors and comedians who would do different accents, and they were always fun, like you. And Vito Scotti was another guy like that. Oh, I love Vito. I love Vito. You're in a lot of stuff with him, I found in my research. Yeah, he was great fun. I keep using the word, I know it's boring.

No, it's not. But that's really what it is. It's our job. When you were a kid and you played in the backyard and you put a cape on and your friend had a stick and you kept saying, I'll get you whatever. There's no inhibition. None. You're having a wonderful time. You have to take that with you.

You bring that to your adult world. You must never lose the childhood. But I believe that I believe that that's important and exists for everyone. You must not forget your child like nature

because we're far more accepting when we're children. You've retained a lot of that, don't you think? Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. Dara likes to say she has three kids. There's some truth to it.

I say it as a compliment. Yes, yes, absolutely. Yeah, I've matured very little over the years. You're lucky because it's important. People may laugh, but it's important. Now, can you shut up and let me continue this? Oh, for Christ's sake.

Go ahead. We can go past that. We covered that. You can talk. Come down here. Columbo. What about Columbo? Wait a minute.

He didn't finish the thing. Let him finish the thing. Okay. This is chaos. Comma Let him finish the thing. Okay. This is chaos. Comma. Oh, the Jeffersons. What about them? Okay, never mind.

What about Columbo? Okay. I think you did Columbo with Vera Miles. Really? Yes, you did. I don't remember. You should have done it with Peter Falk. You were a high-end fashion photographer on Columbo.

Do you know that I've been in this business 50 years? God bless. 50 years, man. And people still come up to me and say, I'm sorry you haven't made it because you're pretty good. You told me on the phone you're recognized a lot in town. No, not by people who are in their dotage. Those are the ones who are recognized.

The kids don't know. I remember when people knew me when I was working. See, when you're not, you know that, when you're not working, you're out of the public eye. You're out. You're out of everybody's eye. Forget it. You know, you might as well take up dancing. you, they're not even sure if they recognize you from TV or go, is he my dry cleaner? Yeah, yeah.

I've gotten that. I've gotten that. My favorite was one day I had to go to the bank while I was doing Three's Company. I went to the bank. I was standing in line. And it was my turn. I walked to the window, and the lady said, And I went, what?

She said, you don't speak the English, the language? I said, no, I don't speak the language. You're not Mexican? No, I'm not Mexican. How'd you do that? I said, could I have my money? What, am I going to give you an acting lesson? What the hell do I need? I said, could I have my money? What, am I going to give you a 19? I said, what the hell do I need? I just do it. I remember Lee Strasberg one day said to me, he invited

me to join whatever. So I said, okay, fine. And he started questioning me. He says, how did you find the moment and the emotion and the thing and the stuff? And I said, yeah. And he said, well, tell me. He says, when you're in the theater and you're watching your fellow colleagues, do you feel, do you sense the emotion, the underlying trauma that these individuals are going through. And he's going on and on. So I put up my hands and says, Mr. Strasburg, forgive me. But I just paid 15 bucks for this seat.

I don't care where he got whatever. He better entertain me. Otherwise, I'm out. Wow. Strasburg looked at me and said, you know, we wanted to kill. I said, I can't do this. I can't do this. So I left.

Oh. You know, you got to leave it alone. Yeah. Oh, God. What's his name? The English actor now gone. Olivier. Olivier. Yeah. Yes gone. Olivier? Olivier.

Yeah, that's Lawrence Olivier. Yeah, he used to say to his confrères, he said, you've got to get out there and have fun. You've got to get out there and have fun. And he would be talking with his colleagues. And his cue came up and he went out and began to say, to be or might be, or whatever. You understand? So if you don't have the joy, whatever it is you're doing,

that person who's out there listening to you is not going to reciprocate. They won't know what the hell you're doing. I think that's one of the reasons that people like this show so much is that we have so much pleasure doing it and we do it so much for love. At least I do. I think Gilbert is. Yeah, I'd like to go home now. I'm bored. I am so bored. And I'm tired. I'm not getting any joy out of talking to you. I'm not getting any joy out of talking to you. Now, both of us, both of us, I just realized, have worked with John Ritter. I mean, I worked with him on the Problem Child movies.

Talk to us about John Ritter a little. John Ritter was a mensch. What can I say about John? John was gracious. Always gracious. And he always left space for you. But what I mean by that, folks, when you're doing a scene and it's my turn to talk and it's his turn to talk, it's the way it works. But John would see, sense that something else was coming. And he'd make room.

One day he was making pasta. And he had the flour. And he was making a hole in the flour because he had just dropped the egg in there. So he's making a hole. And I put up my hand and I said, wait a minute, I pulled out a tape measure from my pocket and I measured the circumference of the hole. And I looked at him and I said, that is a good hole.

And he was like that. He was just. He let you. He's. That's the way the show was. I mean the director said, guys, you know, we're doing Cotton Candy. Okay? That's what we're doing.

Right, right. Was Bernie West one of the writers of that show? And you went way back to your original Broadway production with him. Yeah. We also did a play together by all the way called Poor Betas. Right. That was the one with Donald Ple one with the Donald Pleasance, Donald Pleasance,

Charles gray. Right. Isn't that funny though, that you were on Broadway with, but with Bernie West, he, he, he,

he, he stops being an actor. He becomes a writer, becomes a comedy writer. Very prominent. Yeah. For Norman Lear. Very much.

And then you end up working with him and on a sitcom 30 years later. It's a weird circle goes around goes around yeah that's a fun turn of events yeah yeah and you never know you just never know who you're gonna run into it's just amazing you work with a lot these are names these are names that kept coming up when i searched your you when i went through your credits vick tay back you did a lot of stuff with veto scotty and a lot of stuff with an actor named Don Diamond, who people would know as Crazy Cat from F Troop. You were in a lot of stuff with

him. Yeah. That was kind of like serious, not serious, you know, the series that you, like Starsky and Hutch and stuff like that. Yeah, you did a lot of those. A lot of those crime shows.

Yeah. The Blue Knight and Macmillan and Wife and Quincy. Did you work with Peter Falk? No. Really? No, never saw him. Never saw him. Never saw him.

Never came to the set. Never said, hi, Gino. All right, well, throw some wild cards. Did you work with Theodore Bickell on the Mod Squad? Yes. Theodore Bickell. No, no, no. I never did the Mod Squad.

What the hell are you reading? It says right here you did the Mod Squad. You know what? Let me tell you something about DB, IM, whatever. IMDB. IMDB. Yeah, it's a little obscure. How can I put this kindly?

They don't always get it right. Really? No. They had me with a different name. It doesn't matter. It's over. It's okay. Go ahead.

When I'm in interviews, I find them asking me about these shows that I've never heard of. So the thing is inaccurate. Yeah. Well, that's news. Yeah, for the most part. That's news? Well, here's what I know you did. You did Sammy.

You worked with Sammy Davis Jr. and Christopher Lee on Poor Devil. Oh, that was. And you had a big part in that. Yeah, it was. Mr. Bly. Mr. Bly, the devil's assistant. Right. And when I heard that I was going to be working with Christopher Lee, Sammy Davis, I thought, I can't believe where this is going.

So I get the script and I read it. And I arrive on set. And Sammy's over there. He's holding court. And Christopher's sitting there, taking it all in. And the director comes up to me. He says, Gino, Gino. I said, hi, Mr. Melman.

He said, I'm so glad you're here, man. He said, I'm so glad you're here. I said, well, I'm privileged. Thank you. And then he leans over in my ear and he says, how do you think I had to shoot this scene? That's great. What? What?

How do you think? Well, you probably have a pretty good, what the hell do you say to that? What do you say to that? That's great. Here's the man who's in charge. Had a lot of faith in you. Say to that. That's great.

Here's the man who's in charge. I had a lot of faith in you. You know, and Sammy, of course, was, we hadn't, Sammy had an entourage. Wherever we went, Sammy had an entourage. That was his gig. One day I walked into, and I walked into my dressing room, and there's Sammy's dressing. He's putting on his costume in my dressing room. And I said, Sammy. I said, good morning. He said, good morning.

He said, I'm sorry. You know, I'm having... I can't get into my dressing room. I can't get into my dressing room. I said, what do you mean? What's wrong with you? Did the water stop up? What? He says, no, there's too many people in there. His whole entourage took up the space.

Wow. And he had to come into my dressing room to change. And then we go to lunch and I'd say, Sammy, can I, can I buy you lunch? He says, no, no, no, no, no. I saw me. Hey, no, no, no. We're going to, and we start walking to lunch and you look behind you, there's the entourage. Something like 12 people. It was extraordinary. No kidding. And he was extraordinary. He was a sweet man, very sweet.

Who didn't you work with, man? I'm telling you, this list. I'm going to throw a bunch of more names at you here, a bunch more names at you. But you're interrupting my introduction. Oh, Jesus. Okay, go ahead. You've got to make them shorter.

Here's so-and-so. You didn't get through the first paragraph. I haven't gone... I'm like two lines into the second paragraph. Okay. Okay, go. Okay, go. Why don't you read some of those names and see if you remember them?

You've got to start editing. You have to start editing. Night Court. You remember Nightcore? I've done Nightcore. Of course. Yeah, it was great fun. I enjoyed that.

Didn't you enjoy it? Oh, very much. No. Yeah, he was. Nightcore was a lot of fun. You should see his face. He didn't want to do this. I like doing Nightcore.

I know. I'm teasing. Oh, okay. What? Oh, boy. Now know. I'm teasing. Oh, okay. What? Oh, boy. Now what? Here it comes. We've already talked about Zero Mustel.

Yes. So, Debbie Reynolds. Yeah. Tell us about Debbie. You did How Sweet It Is. She was just a sweetheart. Just what you saw on screen is what she was. That's nice.

Genuine. And she knew how sweet it was. It was my first film. And she had the script leather-bound for me. Wow. As a memento. That's lovely. You know, these things are little jewels, little gems that you remember.

I still have the script, obviously. That's nice. Yeah. Who else, Gil? Oh, okay. Okay. Bob Newhart. You did Thursday's Game with Bob Newhart and Gene Wilder.

It was a movie about poker. You were one of the poker buddies. No memory. I did that. I watched you in it last night. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. I'll send you the clip.

I'll send it to Therese. It's you. It's you and Bob Newhart and Gene Wilder. It's a facsimile. No. What? I did that? Yes.

Richard Shaw was in the scene, Valerie Harper's husband. And Norman Fell. And Cloris Leachman's in it. Yes, you say so. It's you, buddy. I believe you. I have it written down here that you worked with me. No, you were both in the same movie, Thumbelina.

Thumbelina! Thumbelina, yeah. It was the same. It's a cartoon. I was the beetle. That's right. You were the beetle and I was the bird. Wow!

There you go. Wow! We would have gotten to that an hour and a half ago if you'd gotten through the goddamn intro. Are you done with that damn intro already yet? No, no. Jesus. What? I think we'll make this show a two-parter where I continue doing the intro.

Oh, my God. And, oh, Henry Winkler. Yeah, that he had scenes with Henry. Happy days. Yeah, absolutely. He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. He's a lovely man. I've run into him from time to time when he's come to visit on sets, people he knows.

He's a lovely man. You know, the thing about it is they're all lovely people. How about Jack Cassidy? Do you have any members of Jack Cassidy? Oh, yes. You did She Loves Me with him and barbara cook absolutely she he he was really a diva he oh wow oh oh no he was great he was great he he oh i talked to him in the dressing room and he was he was he was putting on his makeup, making sure his— He kind of had a John Barrymore thing, Jack Cass.

Kind of. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, he was by himself. He was really an individual who took care to be care. Do you realize that that's not a sentence? How about Jonathan Winters?

Lovely. We know you guys became friendly after you did Viva Max. Yeah. You said he came to the house for dinner once or twice. He came to the house for dinner and just sat down and never finished the meal because he was on. Oh, wow. But that's his gig. That's great. That's his gig.

When we were doing Viva Max, I mean, he had everybody in stitches, right? Because that rolling mind of his is much like Robert Williams, which I think he emulated, Robert Williams emulated at any rate. And he would just go and go. And it's bottomless. And you can't stop laughing because it's brilliant. And had you called him, Gilbert, when he gave you his number, you could have had a similar experience. I met him. Oh, yeah.

And he gave me his number. Yeah. When I get celebrity phone numbers, it's kind of to me like when you get a girl's number and she'll say, you got to call me. Call me. Here's my number. Here's my cell. Here's my work number. Call me.

Don't lose that. And then you call them and go, hi, it's Gilbert. Yeah. And we met at the so go, hi, it's Gilbert. Yeah. And we met at the so-and-so party. Yeah. And I've had that with a couple of celebrities. So you never called them. Yeah. I never

called Jonathan Winters. I never called George Carlin. And I never called Norman Fell. Those were the three celebrity numbers. What do you need them for? You got Gino Conforti. Exactly. No, but the point is

I think Gilbert, I think maybe it's a little bit of distrust, suspicion. What do you want? Exactly. Why are you calling me? Yeah. That's what I think it is. Well, you felt you didn't have a purpose to call them, right? Wasn't that part of want? Exactly. Why are you calling me? Yeah. That's what I think it is. Well, you felt you didn't have a purpose to call them, right?

Wasn't that part of it? It was just a schmooze, right? To go to lunch. Yeah. Schmooze. Yeah. You don't want anything. A lot of them feel like, oh, God, he's going to ask a favor of somebody.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's why I never call anybody. I never call anybody if they want to talk to me. You're both in the same boat.

Please pick up the phone because don't text me. I don't do that. Don't email me. I don't understand it. You want to talk to me? Pick up the phone. Yeah, I always feel like any one of these celebrities, if they called me, I'd stay on the phone for 10 hours. Hell yes. But I'm not going to call them.

No, no. Yeah. I understand. You've worked with a name that I think has come up once or twice. Where are you going with this? Cesar Romero. He has no memory of working with Cesar Romero. Would you please do me a favor

and throw that list away? Alright, I'll tell you what you did with Cesar Romero. No, I didn't do anything with Cesar Romero. You did a movie called Don't Push, I'll Charge When I'm Ready, which was about an Italian POW. It was you and Soupy Sales and Avery Schreiber.

Wow. And Jerry Colonna. I was in that? Yes. Indeed you were. Okay. Okay. Are you sure? You had no experience of him, ha. Indeed you were. Okay. Okay. Are you sure?

You had no experience of him. None. I didn't do it. Well, make something up about it. Well, then how about Don Knotts? You worked with Don Knotts on Three's Company. Oh, well, yeah, Three's Company. How'd you like him? He was lovely.

He was just lovely. Just sweet, quiet, and we get on the set and he was just Don. And it was just, you felt him all around you. He was just the most, another, another giving artist. You never got the sense that you were working with a major star. I never had that experience. I've never had star. I never had that experience. I've never had that. I never.

Richard Kiley, La Mancha. Wow, Richard Kiley. He was in the original stage La Mancha before the movie. I was in the original. And he was such a gentleman. He always greeted you. He didn't always get that because other things aren't people's mind. That's why I look at it.

If they pass you by and they forget you're there, I always figure something's on, something's going on. But anyway, Richard would stop by the dressing room and say, hi, Gino, how you doing? I said, thank you. Fine. And he gave me a great description. He says, Gino, you're the Italian raccoon.

Italian raccoon? Because of the circles under my eyes. Can I tell you how many makeup people try to hide that? It's stupid. If I lose those circles, I can't talk. Forget it. I tell you how many makeup people try to hide that. It's stupid. If I lose those circles, I can't talk. Forget it. The Italian raccoon. And before Don Nuts, you worked with Norman Fell.

I think he was on Three's Company later. After Fell went to the Ropers. Ropers. No, I never did a Roper. No, he just worked with Furley. Yeah. As we wind this down, I'm going to give you your choice. Wait, wait.

Did you finish the introduction? I'm not. I'm not finished with the introduction. Okay, do it. Well, we're at the 90-minute mark, so you should. Jesus. Finish it already. Jesus. This is the only time that this show's been on the air where the entire show went by and I haven't finished the intro.

Well, he did this already. He did Orson Welles. Turn the page. It's all done. It's all done. It ends with the Orson Welles. Turn the page. It's all done. It's all done. It ends with the Orson Welles story. Oh, did I mention? What? Our guest today is Gino Conforto.

No, yes. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. They're sitting there listening. Who? What? Who's that? Okay, last memory.

You were at what? Was Bea Arthur in the original fiddler on the roof with you absolutely okay so b arthur or james coco who do you want to tell us about i had i had very little to do with jimmy except in la mancha and uh actually i had very little to do with the b except uh she was a fellow artist because our paths never crossed i mean we did our job. We didn't go out to lunch together or anything like that. And Jimmy, the same thing.

And Jimmy was doing Sancho, and it was fun to watch. But we didn't break bread together or anything like that. He had other fish. He didn't make an impression on you. No, that's not true. Uh-huh. No. I mean, you're talking personally.

Yeah, either way. Did we exchange phone numbers? You remember doing the Croft Comedy Hour with Red Fox? Or is that bullshit too? No memory. Bullshit. Gino is miming the word bullshit. Okay.

Jesus. I think I'm out of bullets. You don't think I would remember Red Fox? Well, this is what we got. Oh, God. Have you ever met Sally Field? Oh, God. All right, I'm going to throw these out.

What? Harvey Korman. Oh. I knew Harvey because of a group. Yarmie's Army. Yarmie's Army. That's how I knew Harvey. I never worked with him.

Okay. This says you work with him, but fuck it. why was he like why was he like it was funny it was funny and it was rather quiet you know it's very interesting about actors comedians people in the arts, socially, they're quite down to earth. They don't have to take stage. I don't have anything to prove. That's like you, Gil. Yeah.

I have nothing to prove. He's very off when he's off camera or when he's off stage. Truly? Or is this a joke? No, no. He's very quiet and very reserved. Yes. And you probably do a lot, no. He's very quiet and very reserved. Yes. And you probably do a lot of listening.

That's what I do. Well, he doesn't listen. He doesn't listen. That's asking for too much. Oh, Jesus. All right. Last one. Was Charles Durning an understudy in Porbitos?

Do you remember Charles Durning? Oh, of course. Okay. Give us that one. I will give us that one. I will give you the closer. Charles Durning came up to me one day many years later, many years later.

We both frequented the same supermarket. And I would see him there from time to time. And we would exchange pleasantries. And then one day he said to me, you know, Gino, I owe my career to you. I said, what? He says, yeah.

You inspired me to continue to do what I do now. And I went, yeah, right. Mouth open, no retort, and a compliment that just washed over you. And he walked away, and that was the end of it. And I don't know what I did.

Wow. I have no idea what I did. You know, you... How about that? Frank, we affect people. We all affect each other. And we don't know that. We don't know we're doing that. And it's not planned.

And we don't say, hmm, I'm going to, boy, I'm going to say. One of the mysteries of life. We don't know what impact we've had on other people sometimes. None. None whatsoever. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. You came a long way from Chicago, Gino,

to work with Sophia Loren and Peter O'Toole and Jackie Gleason and Lucille Ball and Charles Durning and Richard Kiley and so on, and Orson Welles, for Christ's sake. Yeah, I was blessed. What a journey. Yeah, it's been a great journey. And it's been fulfilling. People who don't understand keep saying, oh, gee, it's too bad you didn't become a star.

You've got to go to the Golden Globe. And I can't explain it to them. They don't want to hear that. They only know what they see when they go to a film or the Golden Globes. They ask, oh, there's Meryl Streep, who is brilliant, and Denzel Washington, who has done magnificent work. That's what they know. Right. They don't know journeyman actors.

Part of why we started this thing. Well, you're to be congratulated. I'm quite serious. I don't know what it means. Part of why we started this thing. Well, you're to be congratulated. I'm quite serious. I'm quite serious. And with the journeyman actors, it's like when you see a movie, you'll say, wow, Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep

were great in there. And then they'll go, and that scene where they talk to the cop and the journeyman actor is the cop. Yeah. Austin Pendleton. Yeah. Right.

Oh, yes. Absolutely. You believe that that's just a cop they're talking to. That's right. And that's a great performance. Yep. Well, you don't say it's a great performance. You say, oh, it's a cop.

That's right. That's exactly right. Because they disappear. And you go with that. You go with that. Yeah. And it's a great performance. You say, oh, it's a cop. That's right. That's exactly right. Because they disappear. And you go with that. You go with that. Yeah. And it's over. And you go home and have a plate of pasta.

You know, you've entertained us tremendously today. And I never got a chance to finish the introduction. Well, why don't you introduce him? Why don't you introduce me? Why don't you introduce me? Gino Conforti. It is him. It is him. It's him.

It's him in the flesh. This has been a joy, guys. Oh, God. You're a fun guy. A load of fun. This has been a joy. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's

amazing, colossal podcast with my host, Frank Santopadre. And I forget, I'll have to go back to the intro to see who our guest that we've been talking to. I know he's a dear friend of Sally Field. That's right. They're tight. Gino Conforti.

Gino, what a thrill. What a pleasure of mine, guys. Thanks for being part of this cockeyed caravan. Great pleasure. Thank you. And I hope to see you guys someday. I hope so.

Do you get to New York? That would be fun. Don't call. Don't. Don't. Call. I can hear the cuckoo singing in the cuckoo berry tree If he says that that's a helmet I suggest that you agree But he'll find it is not gold and will not make him bold and brave Well, at least he'll find it useful if he ever needs a shave Golden helmet of Manbrino, there can be no helm like thee. Thou and I now, Herod I now, we'll make golden history. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre. Thank you. by John Beach. Special thanks to Paul Rayburn, John Murray, John Fodiatis,

and Nutmeg Creative. Especially Sam Giovonco and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. On the next Gilbert and Frank's Colossal Obsessions. Barton Fink. I wrote it down. Speaking of John Goodman.

Sullivan's Travels. Wrote it down. We're thinking alike. Eight and a Half. Day for Night. There's certainly down. Yes. We're thinking alike. Eight and a Half. Day for Night. Of course. There's certainly some foreign films. Of course, those. Contempt.

Yes, that's the Godard picture. I've never seen it. It's with Bridget Bardot. Okay. I'll put that on my list. I do like Godard. Stardust Memories. Does that count?

Yes, I wrote that down. I wish your dog to Bridget. Only once? That is germane. A few times. I wish. I didn jerk talk to Bridget. Only once? That is germane. A few times. I wish I didn't want to. Does this kind of sound like a typical episode? Definitely.

You see how when you're listening at home and you say, boy, that went in the gutter fast. Now you're witnessing it firsthand in 3D. When you're listening at home, you'd like to think you'd have more control. There's no control. No, there's no control. There's none. Welcome to my world. Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions.

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