Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 222. Peter Riegert

Episode Date: August 27, 2018

One of Gilbert and Frank's favorite actors, Peter Riegert ("Animal House," "Local Hero") stops by the studio for an in-depth discussion about the fleeting nature of fame, the contrivances of romantic comedies, the randomness of on-screen chemistry and the profound influence of Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton and the Marx Brothers. Also, James Garner lays down the law, Burt Lancaster marches on Washington, MauriceMicklewhite becomes Michael Caine and Peter remembers the late, great James Gandolfini. PLUS: The Firesign Theater! "The Million Dollar Movie"! "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"! Gilbert bonds with Chico's daughter! And Peter "kisses" Humphrey Bogart and Jimmy Stewart!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. If you're listening now, you're listening to the amazing, colossal podcast of Gilbert Gottfried. And who are you? You didn't identify yourself. Oh, I'm Ron Delsner. I'm Goldie Hawn.

Now try it again. Hey, I'm Ron Delsner, and you're listening to the amazing, colossal podcast of Gilbert Godfrey. Ron Delsner signing off. Motherfucker. Beautiful. Great. Great. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer Frank

Verderosa. Our guest this week is a writer, producer, Oscar-nominated director, an Emmy-nominated actor, and one of the most appealing and versatile performers of his generation. You know him from hit TV shows like MASH, Law & Order, Seinfeld, Sports Night, Damages, The Sopranos, One Tree Hill, Family Guy, The Good Wife, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the TV movies Gypsy and Barbarians at the Gate, and popular feature films such as Chilly Scenes of Winter, Shock to the System, The Mask, Traffic, We Bought a Zoo, The Mask, Traffic, We Bought a Zoo, as well as three films discussed at length on this very podcast, Crossing the Land Sea, Local Hero, and National Lampoon's Animal House. He's also the director of the Oscar-nominated short By Courier,

the writer-director of the well-received independent feature King of the Corner, co-starring Academy Award winners Rita Moreno and Eli Wallach. Rita Moreno and Eli Wallach. In a long and prolific career that started with a sudden epiphany way back in 1971, he shared the stage and screen with such icons as Michael Caine, Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Paul Schofield, James Garner, and Bette Midler, as well as former podcast guests Steve Buscemi, Tim Matheson, Andrea Martin, and Matthew Broderick. Hell, he's even worked with Brother Theodore, Yvonne DiCarlo, and Professor Irwin Corey. Please welcome to the show one of our favorite actors, and as far as we know, the only person to portray both Richard Nixon and Chico Marx, the charming

and talented Peter Rieger. My God, it sounds like I have a career. Thanks for that introduction. Unbelievable. Quite a run. You know, who knew? Almost 50 years. Quite a run. You know, who knew? Almost 50 years. Good for you.

And we didn't know we'd have to make our studio wheelchair accessible. Well, I was under the impression only people ambulatory challenged would get into this place. Well, thanks for inviting me, and now I'm a cripple. Yes. Yes, Peter Hurt is Achilles, just to fill in our listeners. For those of you who like the Achilles, it's a hell of a tendon. Yeah. When we were setting up the mics and everything, me, you, and Frank, we're all discussing our

various injuries. It sounds like we're in a Neil Simon play. Yes. Going in style. Oh, my God. And we had on John Amos. John Amos. Ripped his.

Yeah, he was here with the bad Achilles. Yeah, he warned me, but I didn't listen. Yeah. So you guys figured out where you met. Yes. Yeah, my memory was that probably a good three, four years ago. It was a celebration for the National national lampoon at the public library and you told me a story i always remember that you were making a film and you called up eli wallach

and you said you'd be interested in him working in the movie i had met Eli through his son Peter in about 1973, 4, 5. Peter's girlfriend at the time, Karen Kay, was working in this improv company that I was in called War Babies. And I would see Eli periodically. Anyway, 2003, I directed this feature, King of the Corner, Anyway, 2003, I directed this feature, King of the Corner. And it was a part for the father. So I called up Eli. And, you know, he's just as gruff as can be. And he was 88 at the time.

So I said, Eli, I got the money for the film. And I said, you know, I'd love you to do it. And he said, who am I, the old Jew? So I said, well, actually, the young Jew has been cast. He said, I'm an actor. I can stretch. I said, well, you ain't stretching for this one, buddy. What a career.

He's had it. It was amazing. And at 88, we were having lunch on the set one day, and he looked at me, and he just out of nowhere, he said, I think I got 10 more years. Why? And I think he had 10 more years. Wow. Yeah. Just like that.

Jeez. And he kept acting. Isn't that Cameron Diaz picture of the holiday? He's probably still acting somewhere. Somewhere. Let's hope. He was extraordinary that way. He is the real six degrees of Kevin Bacon. I mean, he's hope. He was extraordinary that way. He is the real Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

I mean, he's just been with everybody. And an extraordinary actor, great human being, and an awful lot of fun. I introduced him. What's the film awards in January? National Film Board? Oh, the D.W. Griffith? No, no, no. It's not that.

I think it's the National Board of Review. National Board of Review. Something like that. Anyway, I was the emcee this particular year, and I was going to introduce at one point Eli, who was going to give an award to Elmer Bernstein, who wrote the music to The Magnificent Seven. So I introduced...

An animal house. An animal house, that's right. And so I'm introducing Eli. I mentioned the first time I ever saw him, I was 15 down in Florida at a triple bill, an outdoor theater triple bill on a biology project with my high school, you know, 15 high school kids. And I saw this guy and I said,

Eli, this high school kids. And I saw this guy and I said, this Mexican rode in and I did my impression of Eli Wallach as the head of the, you know, the gangsters, the Mexican tribe. And so I did this and I introduced Eli and Eli walks up and the first thing he said was, that's the worst Sammy Davis Jr. impression I've ever heard. Eli walks up and the first thing he said was,

that's the worst Sammy Davis Jr. impression I've ever heard. So then he introduces Elmer Bernstein. And he says to Elmer, as Elmer's coming up to get his award, you know, Elmer, if I would have known that you were going to write the music that you did, I would have ridden my horse differently. And Elmer Bernstein said, you idiot, I wrote the music to how you rode your damn horse. That's great.

But only Eli could imagine which one came first. But he was, what an amazing guy. I read a story that Eli Wallach at one point broke his hip. He was old and he broke his hip and I think he had to have it replaced. And he was sitting there in the hospital and the doctor said, Eli, I want you to get up and walk to me. And he kept saying, no, I'm in too much pain. I can't get up. And his wife was there.

And the wife said to the doctor, she she said tell him that you're the camera and he said I'm the camera Eli walked and he got up and walked yeah he was I you know there used to be or probably still is there's a doctor every time you have a job in a in a movie or tv show you have to get a physical and i can't remember the name of the doctor but he cats i think dr cats down on fifth avenue and 10th street 12th street everybody that's where everybody goes so i was getting ready to shoot this film that i was going to direct and i go there and and meet the doctor, who's usually a very chatty guy, and he's completely quiet. He's not saying anything. And the opening scene with me and Eli in the movie is he says, I'm shrinking.

And I say, what do you mean you're shrinking? You look fantastic. He said, what are you talking about? I'm the size of a peanut. This goes on and on for about five minutes, three minutes. Anyway, I'm sitting with the doctor doctor the doctor doesn't say anything and i'm kind of confused because usually he's like talking away and he checks off everything he has to to approve my getting into the film and the next words out of his mouth are i'm shrinking and i look at him and go what are

you talking about he said look at me i'm the size of a peanut. I said, what's going on? He said, Eli was just here. He did the entire first scene for the lady. That's great. He's a character. Was a character. Now, those doctors who examine you for movies are pretty infamous for, like, you could be breathing your last breath. And they'll go, oh, okay. Yeah.

I think you're in good shape. Especially in the studio system. Yes. I guess so. I don't, you know, I don't know what, what you need to pass other than I've always passed, so.

You know, we had Joe Pantoliano here and I believe that, yeah, Joey Pants, I believe, and you probably noticed that Eli Wallach and Ann Jackson

were helpful to him very early in his career. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mentored him a little bit. Well, they're like that, both Eli and Ann Jackson were helpful to him very early in his career. Yes, very, very helpful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mentored him a little bit and gave him a— Well, they're like that, both Eli and Ann. And the kids are fantastic.

It's a wonderful family. Amazing family. Honored to have been with the man. Yeah. This is what we love on this show. We love to talk about the old character actors. Well, now I'm an old character actor. What do you mean?

I was telling Gil about some of the great ones you worked with, like Ben Gazzara and Jack Palance. I did work with Ben. Ben was Jack Palance. Oh, my God. You know, when you think back, 50 years is a long time. You run into some amazing people. Yeah. Yeah, I had met Ben Gazzara.

I can't remember through a song. Anyway, I'm in New Orleans for the jazz festival, and I get a phone call from Ben Gazzara. Pet can't remember through. Anyway, I'm in New Orleans for the jazz festival. And I get a phone call from Ben Gazzara. Petey, it's Ben. I'm doing a movie in Bali. And I go, fantastic. Congratulations. He said, no, you idiot.

I want you to play my brother. Do you think you can play my brother? I said, if I show up on the set, I can be your brother. Anyway brother anyway I was there for two weeks I think I worked three days and shopped 10 it was fantastic beyond the ocean that's the one yeah what a god almighty don't do this research yeah beyond the ocean was like beyond the theaters yeah yeah and I I just remembered another Eli Wallach story oh he was he was filming The Misfits. Oh, my God. And it was right in the middle, I guess, of the breakup of Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller.

And after a long day, he's exhausted. He shows Eli Wallach, goes back to the hotel. Marilyn Monroe is walking down the hallway, crying and angry, and she sees Eli Wallach and says, what is it with you Jewish men? Where do you hear these stories? No, that is absolutely,

I would believe that in a minute. Yeah. Well, just look at the people in that movie. Oh my God. Yeah. What a legendary cast. But he, Eli was in some amazing theater and movies. Makes you two degrees removed from Marilyn Monroe if you do the Kevin Bacon. Wouldn't I be one?

One. One. One. Me to Eli to Marilyn. There you go. Yeah. And Gable. You know, I did a movie called Chili Scenes of Winter that Joan Micklin Silver directed.

And in the movie was John Hurt and Mary Beth Hurt. And, oh, my God, her name just went right out of my head. It'll come back to me. Shoot. What was she in? She was in, oh, my God. It's not my Achilles. It's my brain that I screwed up.

It'll come back to me. Okay. We'll continue. Anyway, there's a good story once I remember who it is. All right. Like you in that film. Yeah, it's a good movie. Jones, great.

That was the first film I did with her before Crossing the Lansing. Yes. Gilbert, we used to do Thursday episodes all about our favorite movies. Gloria Graham. Gloria Graham. Gloria Graham. Oh, sure. So Gloria Graham is playing John Heard's mother. And there's a scene, pardon me interrupting.

No, go right ahead. Where we come in, we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner with Gloria Graham. Violet Bick from It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, yes. That's it. Very good. Anyway, she comes down the stairs in her costume. We're shooting, literally shooting the scene.

She's wearing a satin dress and sneakers. And she says hello to her son, John. And then she says hello to me, his best friend, Sam. And she gives me an incredible kiss, which I don't remember planning. But my reaction, which is on on film is basically me going like I'd call it a triple skull but it was you know just my reaction so we finish the scene and all I

kept thinking is Gloria Graham kissed Humphrey Bogart does that mean I kissed Humphrey Bogart by one degree of separation she kissed Jimmy Stewart and I've been kissing a lot of interesting guys by one degree of separation. She kissed Jimmy Stewart. And I've been kissing a lot of interesting guys.

Yeah. I think she's in the big heat, too, with Clint Stewart. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I, you know, I started in 71. By the time I was out in California, it was 77. So there still were tons of those old movie stars still around, the people that I idolized and looked up to. So it really wasn't far-fetched for me to think of Gloria Graham and Humphrey Bogart in the same moment.

You were saying when you started, Frank and I were talking about this before, that you started, it was a little late for someone to be starting. 23, yeah. And that you said something about it, and Frank brought it up because I always mention this, is that, like I always say with me, I got on stage first time when I was 15. Wow. Did you know right away that you wanted to be on stage?

Yeah. I knew I wanted to be in show business. And what I always say is back then, I had stupidity on my side. I still have it on my side. I'm a proud member of that club. Yeah, late is, I didn't realize it was late. I worked with Paul Schofield on a movie called Utz, directed by a Dutch director named George Schloesser. And Schofield was certainly one of my idols.

And we were having lunch one day in a hotel in Prague. And we're making small talk. And he keeps calling me Peter, and I'm calling him Paul. And all I'm thinking is, I'm calling Paul Schofield Paul? And we're talking and making small talk. And he said to me, I can't do his voice, but it's this magnificent British voice. And he said, when did you start, Peter?

And I said, start what? He said, acting, acting, dear boy. When did you start? And I said, I was 23. And he paused and he said, late. And I went, wow. Because, you know, in England, the idea of a theatrical career goes back 400 years. It's not like a frivolous thing. So that was one of the first times I thought, hmm. I think what Gilbert's alluding to specifically, too, is I heard you say, and we discussed this before, that had you been

older, an older person checks themselves. An older right knows not to do something as foolhardy as this suddenly i said i'm in the stupid club it's a show business yeah it's like when people say to me like how would you feel about your kids going into show business i feel like I would understand them saying to me, we're going to make money by going to trash cans in the street and taking out soda bottles and turning it in. Because that would make sense. That actually makes sense. That was your plan B. Yes. But show business, zero sense.

Yeah, I know, except my feeling was, my father said to me something that, you know, obviously stayed with me. He said, if you find something you love to do, you'll be the luckiest man on the planet. And what he was getting at, obviously, is anybody who finds whatever passion they have, it gets you through a lot. And I remember when I started, my parents were, you know, they were all for this. You know, they thought this is really fantastic. I grew up in the Bronx. I was going to the circus and rodeo since I was three and baseball games and then, you know, theater and concerts for young people. I never put anything together like this is something for me to do. So when I

started, and like we said, you know, 23 already, a lot of my folks, friends, and I guess some people in the family would try to encourage my parents that he'll figure it out and he'll end up having a serious life. And this is just a phase he's going through. And of course I'm sure they were thinking that there's no security in show business, but as we've certainly learned to today, tell me a secure job. There isn't one. That's true. And, uh, so I think even though it was late, uh, I was lucky enough to get things that encouraged me to keep going and I got lucky enough to have a career out of it. But I would think, I wouldn't discourage

somebody. I mean, I've had that much fun. I'd be honest about how loony this is and how hard it is to get a job and sustain a career. But, hell, you know, give it a try. It just hit you on New Year's Day? I mean, that was 1971? Yeah, I actually did. I was working at the, remember the club downstairs or the upstairs? It was a joint on 56th Street off of 6th Avenue. I think there was clubs upstairs and a club downstairs,

and you were either working at the upstairs or the downstairs. Anyway, I was serving drinks on New Year's Eve, upstairs in a club downstairs, and you were either working at the upstairs or the downstairs. Anyway, I was serving drinks on New Year's Eve, and I probably made 75 bucks. And in 1971, 75 bucks, that's a lot of money. Somehow I ended up at my parents' house on 75th Street. At least that's what I remember. And I woke up the next day, maybe 10 o'clock, 10.30 in the morning, and the first thought that hit me as my eyes saw daylight was I'm going to be an actor. It was literally that word, those words.

And it was as clear as the clearest thing I ever heard. Now, had I fantasized about it or thought about it? I'm sure I did, but that was the moment that I actually said, okay, I'm going to do this. It's interesting how you put it together too. No family and show business. You just decided, I'm going to, I'll call friends. I'll, I'll, I'll put headshots together. Well, I didn't even know what a headshot or, you know, what it was. You just said, I'll figure it out. I knew two people from, I went to the, I graduated

University of Buffalo in 1968. So I called a couple of friends up. One of them was Ron Silver, Ronnie Silver. And I said, I'm thinking about, I'm not thinking, I'm starting, I'm going to do this. I think, I think, oh, I'm so sorry. That's okay.

We edit. Thanks, I like it. That's usually my fault. It's my agent with a job. And I said, so how do you do this? I'm going to do this. It was January 1st. They said, well, you need a picture and a resume. I said, okay, a picture, I guess that's of me.

They said, yeah, it's called a headshot It's something that you hand in at the audition And then you give them your resume And I said, what do you mean a resume? They said, you know, a resume of all your work I said, Ronnie, I did a play in high school and a play in college I don't have a resume He said, make it up

I said, make up what? He said, make up the resume I said, how do you make up a resume? He said, invent the up. I said, make up what? He said, make up the resume. I said, how do you make up a resume? He said, invent the name of a theater company, pick a small town in any state, and give yourself a part, like you played Laertes in the Sunshine Players in Keokuk, Iowa.

And I said, and you do the whole resume like that? He said, you fill up the whole resume with all this phony crap. I said, so you lie? He said, you fill up the whole resume with all this phony crap. I said, so you lie? He said, it's acting. That's what we do. We're liars. We're professional liars.

So I said, but don't they, won't they check? They said, no, they know you're lying. If you come in with a resume that full and you look like you're 18 they know you haven't done this job I said so why am I doing this well to make it look like you're a professional actor anyway in my demented head I'm thinking okay if everybody's filling up their resume what if I do the opposite so I made a resume that was all blank. It was like one line from a high school play and another line, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank.

And at the bottom of the page, I wrote Bella Abzug's aide-de-camp in her election in 1970. Right, because you were a social worker. Right. So that blank page. And my thinking was, I'm not going to get a job because of talent.

It's going to be through some charming conversation. So if I can, this is how I was thinking, if I can get them to comment on this blank page, and if I can get them in a conversation, whoever that was, maybe I'll charm the pants off them and I can get them in a conversation whoever that was maybe I'll charm the pants off them I'll get a job well I started the first audition was January 2nd and a theater

on I think it was 4th Avenue and 4th Street in one of it remember the 70s what it was like back then so it was there were no windows in this brownstone. It was freezing cold. And all I kept thinking was, this is the theater. What? That was the theater. And about six weeks, about two or three weeks went by and I had an interview at a theater called the Omni Theater on West 18th Street. And I just went on my way and was getting rejected from here and there, handing in my silly resume with a picture. And then about February, middle of February, something like that, I get a phone call from this theater.

And they said, the person who we hired dropped out. We'd like you to play the part. And I said, fine, great, okay. So, you know, it was no money. It was off, off Broadway. And I said to them, just out of curiosity, why did you hire me? They said, we had such a great time talking to you without your resume that had nothing on it.

There you go. So that was pretty smart for a 23-year-old to know that you needed a conversation piece or some other way in. It was my instinct that it wasn't going to be through the traditional. I mean, I might get lucky, but I never went to acting school, so I had no vocabulary. But I had chutzpahs. Yeah, a lot of chutzpah. How soon did you play Chico in Minnie's Boys?

Chico was 1973, so relatively quickly. Relatively soon. About two and a half years, yeah. I was working with my improv company, and one of uh actors was a woman named Marsha Myers and she was good friends with Louis Stadlin who had created Groucho and in in the 1970 version on Broadway with Shelly Winters yeah so they were going to be doing a 10-week touring uh company of Minnie's Boys and and Louis said he would recommend me to play Groucho. Well, weeks go by, nothing happens,

and I get a phone call. I'm living on Horatio Street in the village between Hudson and 8th, and it's like 10 o'clock in the morning, and the producer calls up and says, Hi, I'm so-and-so, and we'd like to offer you the part of Chico. And I said, you want me to audition for Chico? He said, no, no, we'd like you to play Chico.

I said, oh, I thought I was going to audition for Groucho. And they said, well, Louis Stadlin is going to play Groucho. I said, oh, okay. And you want me to come in and... He said, yeah, we want you to play Chico. How soon can you get here? I said, where are you? He said, we're on 8th Avenue and 50th Street, wherever the rehearsal hall was. I said, and I'm trying to think as fast as I can, I don't know how to do Chico.

I mean, I kind of know how to do Chico. Groucho I can do. So I said, I can be there in about 45 minutes. They said, fine, as soon as you get here, we'll introduce you to everybody. And over time, quickly I realized, oh my God, they're giving me this job. Somebody must've dropped out.

And it was actually Irwin Pearl who created the part on Broad Eye who had gotten ill and they needed a replacement. So I take the bus up. I don't take the taxi. I take the bus up trying to think, Chico taxi. I take the bus up, trying to think, Chico, Chico, Chico. How many do Chico?

I said, well, they're brothers. I'll do Groucho with an Italian accent. Pretty good. It's pretty close. So I did Groucho with an Italian accent. Anyway, we get there. I get there. The producer director introduces himself and he says, we're on page 24 and pushes me on stage. And it was my first equity job. It was $325 a week. And I'm not a singer. I don't sing. I mean, I can carry a tune maybe, but not in front of 1600,600 people in the Philadelphia Playhouse in the round.

You're not a song and dance man. I'm not a song and dance man. So I take the job. I didn't take the job. I was still to have the job. And went off and did the show. Great sidebar to this. So we opened to, you know, it was only two weeks.

That was the end of the tour. Great people, a lot of fun so we we get reviewed in the first two days and in the playbill there's a the you know they couldn't they weren't going to reprint the playbill just because i was you know showing up so they had a little sticker that said the part of Chico, normally played by Irwin Pearl, will be played by Peter Rieger. And I mean, I was in War Babies. I did some off-off-Broadway.

And I'm thinking, okay, this is my first billing. So the Thursday after we opened, there was one more critic. We do the show, and I'm not even thinking about critics because now I'm doing the show.

There's a scene where all the brothers sing to each other. Where was I when they passed out love or something like that? Anyway, I hit notes that Schoenberg hadn't invented. It was ridiculous. Pancakes

were flying out of my mouth. And the three other guys were looking at me like, we can't help you. This is the solo part. This is your part. And I couldn't find my ear, couldn't get me back to the key. Okay, so the show ends,

and everybody's very supportive, and it happens to everybody. The review came out that the next day, the piece of paper, the slip of paper that said I was in it, that the reviewer got, that slip of paper had slipped out of the review. I'd slipped out of the playbook. Oh, damn. So, Erwin Pearl got the worst review of his life. Oh, God. Did, Erwin Pearl got the worst review of his life. Oh, God.

Did he ever forgive you? He did. He did. He died very young. It was very sad, but very, very sweet guy. But, you know, if that doesn't demonstrate the absolute frivolousness of it all, it's just so extraordinary. It's random. Were you a Marx Brothers fan going into it?

Oh, crazy, yeah. So you knew. When I was young, you know, we had here in New York City, well, I was living in a town called Ardsley by the time I was seven and a half, eight years old, and Million Dollar Movie was on nine times a week. So they showed the Marx Brothers movies. And like most kids, I was a mimic. And there was nothing more easy or more fun for a kid to imitate than Chico and Groucho.

And of course, Harper was fun because he could make those faces. And I actually met Chico's daughter. Oh, I met her. You know, yeah. Maxine. Max know, yeah. Maxine. Maxine, yeah, who did a lot of work in advertising, I think, an agent. Yeah. Anyway, I met her, and I referred to her father as Chico.

She said, oh, no, no, no, Chico. I said, Chico? She said, yeah, Chico for chicken chaser. That's how we got the name. And I was reading Groucho and Me and Harpo Speaks when I was a kid and laughing my ass off. And what was nice is as I got older to realize that they were as funny when I was an adult as when I was a kid. It was amazing. I met her, and it was, well, number one, it was fascinating because she looked like Chick-fil-A.

And she would have these stories. Oh, yeah. And you'd sit there and go, oh, my God, I'm listening to actual marks brothers stories yeah firsthand well that's the beauty of of i think what we do is you do come across people who are part of the history of uh american entertainment that's what we're trying to do with this show yeah well that's the that's it's really fascinating. I mean, the Marx Brothers came out of vaudeville. Sure.

And we were sitting. Al Sheen. Yeah. Frank and I were sitting at dinner with a reporter, and he brought— With Gino. Yeah, with Gino. And he'll be happy to know. You don't want to know? You don't want to name him on the show?

I left his name out. But he had like a girlfriend with him or something and the name Groucho Marx came up and she had no idea who that was. Oh, yeah. There's a... I'll tell you a quick story. Well, what the hell?

It doesn't even have to be that quick. In terms of being remembered. Yes, we do. In terms of being remembered, you know, Animal House was a big success and The Mask was big and it's nice to have people stop you. And I certainly know the difference

between an enormous star and I'm very happy with what I've done as an actor but you think of yourself as living on and in memory if you're lucky that you create something interesting so my girlfriend Cornelia Reed writes crime fiction and her third book is called Invisible Boy and it takes place around the oldest cemetery in Jamaica Queens called Pros called Prospect Cemetery. And I had a chance to meet her, I guess it's her cousin, her cousin Kate, who was taking care of this cemetery, Kate Ludlam. And at the time, the cemetery was so overgrown. It's right near the Jamaica train stop. You really couldn't even tell it just looked

like a forest and we walked through this forest and as we got to the end towards the original close to where they were not you know the original was created in in uh 1658 that's 50 years after Henry Hudson dropped Anchor in the Bay. And she shows me the gravestone of an actor named James H. Hackett. And it's so overgrown, the mulch is almost halfway up. James H. Hackett. And all you can see is J-H-H. And I look up James H. Hackett. James H. Hackett was Lincoln's favorite actor. He died in 1878.

His obituary is one of the most extraordinary things I have ever read. And it goes on and on in this beautiful 19th century language about how amazing this man was. He was so famous for his portrayal of Falstaff. This is in the obituary. He was so famous for his performance as Falstaff that it would be several generations before an American actor would have the courage to play that part again. And I'm sitting there going, oh, my God. And he wrote books about interpreting Shakespeare and how to play Shakespeare.

The most famous actor in New York City theater. And I had no idea who he was. That's fascinating. And that cured me like that about fame. And how, look, it's amazing to think in a hundred years there will be people going marlin who yeah scary it's scary but it's actually kind of good it's very humbling by the way i think we know lincoln's least favorite actor yes yes but the funny thing is, it won't be 100 years.

Well, I just push out that far. But yes, of course. Right now, they're saying Marlon who? No, no, no. I totally agree. But this was so extraordinary. Well, I remember watching a movie on TV, one of those, I guess, the Harper movies, where Paul Newman was the detective. And he's in a scene with Robert Wagner. Right.

And Wagner, as a joke in the scene, does a Cagney imitation. Right. And I thought, oh, God, nobody watching this is going to know who James Cagney was. And then I thought, nobody is going to know who James Cagney was. And then I thought nobody is going to know who Paul Newman or Robert Wagner. It goes fast. It goes very fast. Let's hope that isn't true.

I mean, part of the reason we do this show and I told you outside is to keep that kind of history alive. We've had six or seven people here who work with Keaton. Buster Keaton? Yes. Chuck McCann. He was my idol.

Yeah. James Caron. He taught me how to act, Buster Keaton. There you go. I mean, literally. I mean, when I started, since I didn't have any acting background in terms of studying, my instinct was to go and look at Keaton and Chaplin because they were people who didn't go to acting school. They were people who learned how to do this as a craft,

as apprenticed people. And I thought what they did was so extraordinary. And I really studied how they put their characters together and their histories were extraordinary. Do you know how Buster Keaton got his name? Yeah. He used to get tossed into the audience. From Houdini. Harry Houdini. He was a real Buster. Because his parents

I think they made a harness. They sewed a suitcase handle to his coat and at the end of the act the father and the mother would argue with each other and Joe Keaton would pick up his son who was three years old and the act, the father and the mother would argue with each other, and Joe Keaton would pick up his son, who was three years old,

and throw him into the backdrop. I mean, that's how he got his Buster name. It was amazing. He had his own studio at 21, I think. Yeah, because Houdini would watch them and said, you should call that kid Buster. Yeah. Well, just the idea of thinking of vaudeville and Houdini watching Keaton. I know. It's great history. It's just fantastic. Yeah. Well, just the idea of thinking of vaudeville and Houdini watching Keaton. I know. It's great history. It's just fantastic. Yeah.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast right after this. That's what you say. Play along as BetMGM brings the real-time action. Embrace a season's worth of swings with BetMGM, your one-stop shop for all things baseball. BetMGM.com for T's and C's. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600.

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Visit Miele.ca to learn more. It's Frank and Gilbert time. Yes, yes, it's Frank and Gilbert time. It's Frank and Gilbert time. It's Frank and Gilbert time. And now, sadly, we return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. Can you imagine nowadays if for entertainment they threw a little kid? Different times.

The child labor laws were lax Oh yes As well Well that's why he used to wear a beard You know they made him look They thought they were making him look like a midget That's right I mean even his The mother and the father They all dressed the same

Because they knew that You know you can't throw a child into a Into the scenery We've had I think four or five guests on this show who worked with Keaton. That's amazing. Yeah, a couple who worked with Chaplin. Oh, my God. Harold Lloyd.

Groucho. Groucho. Yeah. And one of our guests worked with Al Sheen. Do you know Joyce Van Patten? Sure. When she was a kid. Oh, my God.

She was on a Broadway show with Al Sheen. Well, that's why I guess that's one of the great residual joys of this is that you actually get to sit around and bullshit with people about who they came in contact with. It makes the ghosts of the theater and the film business real. One person who worked with Chaplin we had was Tippi Hedren. Because she's in Countess from Hong Kong. Right.

And we had on James Caron, and he knew the three stooges. Yeah. That's the fun of this, is the people, the stories of these people. Yeah, absolutely. When they're gone, the stories are gone. Yeah. And he said that Mo was a major Shakespearean fan. I wouldn't be surprised.

I wouldn't be surprised. And you go, it's impossible to envision. Well, if you think about none of us can predict the part, the job, the event that's going to give us a career. You just

don't think that way. And when it happens, do you ride that horse to the end i mean what do you do when you're given such you know you're given a life like that it's just extraordinary you have a lot of perspective on this stuff and i've asked this question of other guests but for a guy that in 1971 woke up one day and said i'm going to be an actor there was no um it was literally i'm going to be an actor. There was no um. It was literally, I'm going to be an actor. But you must have had a couple of pinch me moments when you're suddenly the only other person in a scene with Burt Lancaster. That was amazing.

Now, the great thing about working with your idols or people you admire is, especially if you're working together, you only have about an hour of our shucks, and then you've got to be an actor. That's it. I mean, Burt Lancaster, I'm sure I flattered him up and down the highway, but eventually I got to do the scene with him. But in 1963, I went to the March on Washington.

I was 16 years old. I went with my cousin, my mom's cousin, Dorothy Hardy. And my folks usually would go to these events and take me to these events. But for some reason, they didn't go to the March on Washington. You know, the I Have a Dream speech. So I get home and I said, gee, was it on television? Did you see it? I didn't know what was going on.

All I knew was there were a quarter of a million people there. They said, oh, yeah, you made history. I said, what are you talking about? They said, this is an historic event. What happened today is one of the most amazing things in modern American history. It's going to transform our country to the good. And it was extraordinary to watch. And we're sorry we didn't get to go with you,

but we're really proud that you were there. And they said one of the more interesting things were all the celebrities that were there. And they mentioned Marlon Brando and Charlton Heston was there. Absolutely. And Burt Lancaster and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I loved Burt Lancaster because he was, again, another actor who you could imitate.

Yeah. You just couldn't resist going, is that you? And his laugh and the whole thing. So when I worked with him, I told him the story of going on the march on Washington. And I said, were you there? And he said, as a matter of fact, I was. He said, I was in Paris making

a movie called The Train. And I collected 2,000 signatures of all the Americans who were in Paris and brought it as a gift to Martin Luther King, who when he would visit in Los Angeles would stay with Burt Lancaster. Amazing guy, Burt Lancaster. And it was just so much fun. When I first met him, my initial thought was, this is extraordinary. This guy looks and sounds exactly like Burt Lancaster. You got to work with Kirk Douglas, too.

Briefly. Briefly. I mean, I was... I think we were in a scene together. Yeah. I don't remember a lot of conversation. When you said Al sheen before because of course al of the marx brothers and when i was talking to maxine marx one of those moments

where she mentioned al sheen and i immediately started to i put my hand out and immediately started to sing Absolutely Mr. Gallagher and she grabs my hand shakes it and goes, positively Mr. Sheen. And it felt to me like a lightning bolt connecting me with the Marx Brothers. That's exactly what I, the Gloria Graham story. I mean you just you want to, it's iconic. You want to touch something that you feel part of in a way that's beyond just having a job. You're part of something.

You're part of this insane tradition in which people fill a room as perfect strangers and turn themselves into an audience. This thing with lots of eyes and this extraordinary attention. fill a room as perfect strangers and turn themselves into an audience. This thing with lots of eyes and this extraordinary attention. Well, just talk about Local Hero just for a couple of seconds because my wife and I watched it Saturday night and it just holds up. Holds up pretty good. Holds so beautifully. And I was watching and I said to my wife, I wonder how often Peter pops this in and can watch it.

I mean, there's the old question about watching yourself on screen. Sure, sure. But that one. I don't watch it a lot. I just remember it so well. I mean, every once in a while I'll see it pass by on cable or something. 35th anniversary. I know.

Yeah. It's amazing. 1983. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. Well, it was, that's one of those, okay, I can hang up my actor shingle kind of jobs, you know. It's that good.

Well, I was given permission to do nothing by the director, Bill Forsyth. And it's very rare in which somebody trusts you to just bring you to the part. And that's what that part wanted. And that's what that part wanted, and that's what that director wanted, and it was a great experience. I asked him, I was noticing that anytime anybody had a suggestion, he would shoot it.

I mean, any other actor, anybody in the crew, the guy passing donuts and tea. And after two weeks of this, I said, Bill, how come I noticed that every time somebody makes a suggestion, you shoot it? He said, well, how come? He said, because it's faster to shoot an idea than to debate an idea. And I thought, oh, that's pretty smart. Yeah.

You know, I've seen it about 10 times and watching it the other night, and correct me if I'm way off on this, I thought I saw something different about it for the first time that that Lancaster's character is the cautionary tale of what Mac might become he lives alone right he has no family I've never thought of it that way making the omelet yeah by himself that's a very interesting and Mac's got that much ambition. I've never thought of that, but that is an interesting parallel. I wonder if he planned it. You know, in my experience, there are the things you construct, and then there are the accidents that happen that only the audience can see. I've heard that plenty of times.

I don't mean specifically that. But you just can never tell are we allowed to curse on this? yes go right ahead look who's the host look who you're talking to what the fuck was I thinking so I did the 30th

anniversary of Harold Pinter play called The Birthday Party and I was playing Goldberg and it was at CSC on 13th street or 4th, 4th Avenue. And Carrie Perloff was the producer and the director at the time. Gene Stapleton was in the production and, uh, uh, who else was in, David Strathairn. It was a wonderful company. And we got to work with Harold Pinter for a week, wonderful company and we got to work with Harold Pinter for a week which was thrilling to me because I just am mad for his work and he was so influential now I know that you can't really ask a creative person what they meant but how often am I going to get to ask Harold Pinter what he

meant about something I mean most people can't recognize what he means anyway. So we were chatting together one day, and I said, Harold, I have to ask you, this passage here, what does it mean? And he said, Peter, I wrote this play 30 years ago. I have no fucking idea what it was. And basically, he was endorsing what i had come to believe which was you you know you write the play or direct the movie or whatever you do and then it belongs to the audience and

you're on to the next thing it's a movie that's about things that are important yeah about not missing important things like the northern lights and and getting so caught up in yourself and your ambitions. I think so. You miss the bigger picture. But I think that's, well, you know, McIntyre is a character who is learning what he doesn't have. And what he doesn't have is happiness or peace of mind. All good performances. All great performances. Mr. McIntyre in Scotland.

Mr. Happer, should I transfer him to Mr. Fountain? No, no, no. Let me help. Yes, sir. Happy hair, McIntyre. I'm watching the sky, sir. It's doing some amazing things. It's got everything.

Reds, greens, kind of shimmering. And it's got noise, too, like a far-off thunder only it's softer I wish you could see it. I wish I could describe it to you just like I'm saying it be more specific McIntyre You're my eyes and ears there. Give me details Sir I'll give you the colors first sir. It's white and green and red. I'm sorry. That's the phone box Oh, it's blue. It's just blue. It's like a shower of color. Tell him it's the Aurora Borealis. I have some more information, sir. It's the Aurora Borealis, but it's beautiful. Ah, you're a lucky man, McIntyre.

I haven't seen the Aurora since 53 in Alaska. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. There are delicious twists on the croissant donut with 24 layers of croissant flakiness twisted with fancy donut fun. Get ready to go all out for less. Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? a yes a nice tan sorry nope but a box fan happily yes a day of sunshine no a box of fine wines yes uber eats can definitely get you that get almost almost anything delivered with uber eats

order now alcohol and select markets product availability may vary by regency app for details and we have to of course course, get to Animal House. I've heard of it. Yes. How did that come about? I was in California, and my agent, a wonderful agent named Eddie Bondy,

actually his nickname was Eddie Bookum Dead or Alive Bondy. I love it. Because he had booked a woman who'd been dead for six months and got her

the most money she'd ever earned. And he was pissed that she had died. Anyway, he had gotten me the audition and it was me

and thousands of other actors who looked like they were in college and I think I went in four times. My memory is that I auditioned with Tim Matheson, but I must have met them earlier. Or maybe I met Michael Chinich, the casting director, first. I can't remember. But my first memory was me and

Tim auditioning. And I think there were three or four auditions. The last one was me and Karen. And I got the job and all I knew was that it was incredibly funny. And the part Ramos wrote for himself. Yes, Harold was not happy that he wasn't cast. Wonderful man, Harold Ramos. But he was really not happy that I got the job. And Tim Matheson, when he was on the podcast, told us that, and it seemed very strange for someone like Belushi,

who's a wild man and on drugs and drinking and all that, he had a schedule of going there, filming the movie, and then rushing back to New York, doing Saturday Night Live and then rushing back. Yeah, he came back on, he would come back on Sunday. I think he shot Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. He might have, he probably left Thursday because they were shooting Friday.

And yeah, that went on for six weeks. And we had one week of so-called rehearsal basically us just hanging out together and getting fucked up but it it seems so strange for someone like Belushi who I don't know how far into whatever his demons had taken him were but he was really well prepared. I mean, it was as, it was as, as professional a relationship as I've had with any actor. He was always, always ready. Always. I mean, I, he lights up the screen. God, his imagination, um, is just extraordinary and very free. I mean, he was really, really free on camera. It's not an easy thing to do. I mean, John was a brilliant sketch comic,

but creating a character for an hour and a half, that's a different animal. And unfortunately, he was just really getting into some command of that when he died, which is such a shame. Yeah. I'm sorry, Peter. Go ahead. No, I was going to say, my memory, look, it was 1977.

You know, cocaine was not a bad thing. AIDS didn't exist. We were young and stupid. Who knew, you know, that there was trouble ahead? So I don't remember John being any different than anybody else, to be honest with you. It's interesting. Including the crew. Interesting.

Yeah. How quickly the cast bonded because we were saying this to Tim, how, how the natural chemistry and maybe that's something Landis saw that was part of his, his, his smarts. It's not something you hire.

You don't hire chemistry. Yeah. That's great. That's great. And I was saying to Tim, the way the two of you guys play off each other, like you'd been friends for 20 years. I think that's why it helped.

The scene, John Alanis had me and Tim improvise around that big dildo. We had like a six-foot, six-foot, six, eight, 12. I mean, it wasn't six as close to, but this was like, we're talking two feet. Anyway, we were having a hysterical time doing it. And it was very easy to play with Tim. And not the dildo, I mean, Tim the actor. But I think the skill of good casting is finding the actor who has an aspect of the character in their nature. And then you just have to get lucky because you never know.

It's a very intense environment, as you know. Right. And you guys are still close because you see each other at the 40th reunion. Yeah, yeah. 35th for Local Hero, 40th for Animal House. And 30 for Crossing the Lancy. Crossing the Lancy. I think, you know, when you have an intense experience, you know, to be honest with you,

my experience in the theater and movies and television, you know, you're shooting for four weeks to 12 weeks, let's say. In a play, it's four weeks of rehearsal, and maybe you get two or three months. It's very, very intense, and you learn a lot about each other. And at least in my my experiences i was saying i could not see people for 10 20 years and just pick up right where we left off that's nice for animal house it just was such a bizarre bond because it wasn't just a movie it was we were putting kids

through college i mean i had 12 year olds coming and saying, I can't wait to go to college. They thought that was what it was going to be. Yeah. I think it's interesting that Universal didn't want to make the movie and that Sean Daniel kept pushing and pushing. Sean was a big cheerleader for the movie. But, you know, the screenwriter and novelist, William Goldman, said the most famous line of all, which is nobody knows anything.

Right. Now, he didn't mean nobody knew their craft. He just meant nobody knows what the results are going to be. So Hollywood and politics are very similar in that way. You never know what's going to happen. And, yeah, you don't know. Quick memories of John Vernon and also Doug. Well, Doug Kenny was one of the writers of Animal House.

It was a drop-dead pleasure to get to meet him. He was so wonderful. And he was a true mensch, even though he was not part of the tribe. He was mensch adjacent. Far from. He came to mensch it around the corner. But a very sweet guy, Gabi laughed. And John Vernon, who you just,

you just was the most cuddly, wonderful guy who played some of the most heinous, bad people. He played great heavies. But he did something which is not an easy thing to do and that is he has to play, in Animal House, he has to be the bad guy and he has to be funny.

And he did both and he was great. I'd read that he kept trying to play it for laughs and Landis had to keep telling him. I'm not so sure about that. I mean, John Vernon is a pretty good actor.

He knew what he was doing. And so in real life, he was the total opposite. Oh my God. Oh my God. Made you dinner. there he knew he knew what he was doing and so in real life he was the total opposite oh my god oh my god made you dinner oh he just would regale you with amazing stories again it's the same kind of thing you just want to sit at the feet of people who've had a life doing this and uh it kind of it kind of uh it encourages you to keep going because nobody just tells you it was all an uphill climb. No, they all have horror stories about when they were down

and they couldn't get work and how difficult it was and they wanted to give up. And you need to hear that kind of stuff, you know? I think Gilbert wants to ask you about The Pickle Man because as I was starting to say before, we used to do Thursday shows where we just pick a favorite movie. And one week I picked Local Hero. And another week he picked Crossing the Lancy.

So those are two movies that we've covered a lot on this show. I'm thrilled and delighted. And that's a movie that he loves. I think there was an interview with Jennifer Aniston where she said that most romantic comedies aren't about the plot. They're about the scheme. That's interesting. And I've noticed that. There's always like, it's usually a wacky scheme that makes no sense. And I thought, whereas Crossing the L lancy it's a love story absolutely

there's no wackiness going on it's just no contrivance yeah yeah you don't oh well you have to pretend you're the president yeah no it's basically guy tries to get a date guy can't get a date guy gets a date and that's the end of the movie and it was i uh i'd worked with joan uh silver before in in uh chilly scenes of winter and she sent me the the script actually i got sent uh susan sandler who wrote the play sent me the play and i couldn't do it i was busy at the time and she wrote me a postcard saying well well, maybe you'll do the movie. Who knows? Anyway, years later, a couple, two, three years later, Joan sent me the screenplay, and she's a very good writer.

And boy, she can cast a movie. That movie is filled with wonderful actors. And we did it in, I think, October of 87. And it was great fun. And it was nice to play, talk about being a mensch, it was nice to play a mensch on film, which is not an easy thing to do because you have to be unaware of your mensch-ness to be a mensch.

You know, a self-conscious mensch, I think I've heard it. Well, I just watched it again with the wife. We had a little Peter Riegert film festival in preparation for this. I should send her some pickles. You should. If you'll allow me to say, it's interesting, because he's a character that is confident in who he is.

He's comfortable in who he is. Yet, you play it with such vulnerability. Well, thank you. To be honest with you, I think that he was, it was a character, a man who was comfortable in his shoes. He knew who he was. And that is not something you get to play every day. Because it's sort of like what you were saying, Gilbert.

You don't have to be completely falling apart to play a character in need. Everybody's in need. And he was in need of love and affection and attention. And, uh, but he sure knew who he was. He's attracted to her. He doesn't want to,

he's, he's not afraid to show it, but he doesn't want to be hurt because he catches on very quickly to the fact that there isn't a mutual attraction. And yet he doesn't abandon any of his principles. He tells her off in the classiest way possible. Very well. That's a great scene when she tries to set me up with her girlfriend. It's great. And she apologizes and I say, well, that's okay. She's very nice.

I like her. I'd like going out with her. Did the studio offer to do it if they changed it from Jews to Italians, or is that bullshit? It could be bullshit, but it certainly is not a surprise. It would have horrified Gilbert. I heard crossing the Po River. Crossing Mulberry. Crossing Mulberry, yeah. Crossing Mulberry.

Crossing Mulberry, yeah. I heard that Mean Streets, you know, Scorsese wanted to make it because he identified with all of it. And the studio said to him, well, we want to do it, but right now black films are really popular. Oh, because they're saying that again today. Yeah. So they said, they'll make mean streets, but all black. He wasn't the director for that. Yeah. It will always work with autobiographical.

Yeah, yeah. But the beauty of that, as crazy as it is, there's something reassuring in how idiotic it is. It's kind of like watching politics today. It's really amazing how stupid people are. But I asked one of the executives at Warner Brothers, I said, how come you're only releasing this in about 300, 400 theaters?

And they said, well, we don't think it's got a wide you know a wide audience and i said well why is that they said well it's it's too ethnic i said you mean too jewish they said oh no no no too ethnic and i said do you i said do you remember a movie last year called moonstruck which won the academy award that was pretty ethnic. They wouldn't bite. It was amazing. Interesting. Well, also, that's another story. When they were making the Mary Tyler Moore show, they said originally she was supposed to be a divorced woman.

And one of the execs said, no, we can't have her as a divorced woman. There are two things that the country hates, divorced women and Jews. Oh, God. They were also afraid that the audience would be too stupid enough to think that she had divorced Dick Van Dyke oh my god that was part of that was part of their aversion you know we like movies that capture New York too and that's a movie that's a very new movie that captures New York well we shot all over the place yeah I started out I used to work down on the Lower East Side at a settlement house on Eldridge and Rivington so when we we were shooting down there, it was like I didn't have to do any work as an actor. I mean, I knew those streets.

I knew those pickle stands and all that. And I remember this, a line, I forget the word she uses, but Amy Irving says, you know, it's such and such. And I say, I know what it means. Yes. Right? Yes. I can't remember what the word is either.

Shit, I just saw it. Yeah. That always stuck with me. Yeah. It's like one of those perfect moments. Well, it was at the opening night screening,

the audience cheered after I said, I know what that means. Interesting. It was really, I can't remember what the word is either. You guys just did a reunion, you and Amy. And Joan.

And Joan. We did a Q&A down at the- A couple years ago. Down on- Was it Film Amy. And Joan, yeah. And Joan. We did a Q&A down at the- A couple years ago. Down on- Was it Film Forum? Film Forum, yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah, on Horatio Street. Because that was that moment where it shows the characters like, you know, I'm a simple character, but I'm not stupid. Yeah, and I think it's amazing what the- the audience is always smarter than we are and they knew they knew what the story was inherently they understand this is going to be a story about a woman making the wrong choice when the right choice is right in front of her eyes which is true about all of us and i think that that's good writing when the audience is ahead of you and can root for you or root against you. And waits for her to come to her senses.

Well, that's kind of the story. Look, I'm sorry if I've seemed ambivalent, confused. I know what ambivalent means. Sorry. Stop being so sorry. Bubby, close the door.

Stop being so sorry. Bobby, close the door. I heard you and Marilyn had a good time. Yeah. There's a little reception Saturday night at the bookstore. I thought maybe you two would like to... We're going to a baseball game Saturday. Ah. Maybe I could be handling this better.

Handling what? What are you handling? Me? I don't blame you for being... You come to my stand. You invite me out to dinner. You set me up with your girlfriend. You get your bubby to drag me over here.

A guy could get a little tired of this routine. I did not... What's the problem here? You think it's so small, my world? You think it's so provincial? You think it defines me? Is that it? No.

No, i don't i feel like i keep apologizing to you like i can't get it right sam i want to get it right that's where the grandmother comes in you know wonderful actress named rachel bursch who'd never acted in a movie and had never spoken English. She was a Yiddish theater actress. And she practically stole the whole movie. I heard you say you'd love to upstage anybody,

but you couldn't. You met her and you realized... I saw her working with Amy. I went down the first day we were shooting down on Grant Street or wherever the hell it was. And I was watching them shoot a scene and I remember thinking, oh my God, this woman's going to steal every scene she's in.

I'm going to have to kick her ass. And she was 75. And then I saw, when that movie came out, that some black guy came up to you. Yeah, yeah. I was walking with my dad. We were going to the Chinese restaurant, Chun Li, on 65th Street, I think.

Still there. To meet my mom, yeah. Yeah. Lousy service the last time I was there. Sorry, Chun. You pass it every day. You blew it. Yeah.

Anyway, I was going to meet my mom, and I'm walking with my dad, and a middle-aged black guy, probably 50 years old, 55, stopped and said, are you the pickle man? And I said, well, I play a Pickleman and not really. He said, no, no, I just want to make sure it's you. And he said, I really love that movie. It was fantastic. And I just want to tell you, my grandmother was exactly the same. I said, oh, thanks a lot. That's very sweet. And he went on his way. And my father was a very, very progressive guy, was absolutely fascinated that this black man identified with that Jewish woman and could recognize it and I said dad people don't they they're in the story they don't see

you know once the movie starts color goes religion goes sex goes everything goes you're in the story I mean look there are plenty of idiots out there who won't go to see a movie with anybody in it, but it was a wonderful reminder, again, that you're part of something that's beyond your vanity. People pay a lot of money. I don't mean millions. I mean, you know, 20 bucks to somebody is a lot of money to be taken somewhere, to be transported somewhere. That's a responsibility. And that's why you've got to do your best work. And those kinds of anecdotes remind me anyway, that the audience is vast.

And of course, today with the Internet and with cable, you know, I'm working right now. Somebody's watching me act. Yeah. And that's pretty unbelievable. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. Were you getting propositions from women or people wanting to fix you up? Oh, crossing the Lansing?

Oh, my God. Because they love the pickle man. Oh, I could have humped my way from the Hudson to the Pacific Ocean. But I was very responsible. Yeah. And I heard women also wanted to set you up with their daughters. I met every age.

I met grandmothers. I met mothers. I met younger sisters. I met single sisters. It was, who knew? I was a Jewish icon. Can I ask you a couple of quick questions from listeners? Peter this is Grill the Guest. Jason Grissom

love Peter Riegert. Any memories of Barbarians at the Gate with the great James Garner? I loved working with James Garner again another wonderful cast what I loved about James first of all another simpatico guy i mean just boy we wish we could have had him here oh what a what a what a he just oozed empathy

sweet great guy and he the first table read uh was supposed to start at like 10 o'clock and people were meandering in and we didn't get to the table until around 10 30 and James Garner said rehearsal was at 10 I was here at 9 30 when they say and it was fantastic because he was letting this cast know and everybody else, the writers, the crew, the whole thing, this is a profession and I'm getting my ass here on time and so are you. But he wasn't hostile. He wasn't angry. It was nice and simple. And then it was just a hell of a lot of fun playing off of him. That was great.

Another legend that you got to work with. Well, again, you just never know where you're going to run into somebody fascinating. This is a guy you both worked with. What was it like working on the film Americathon with John Ritter? John was as funny and wonderful as you can imagine. The movie, I believe I made an acting mistake. I made a choice in the character. And I...

For those people that don't remember it, it's about America runs out of money. Right. It's based on a Firesign Theater sketch. Phil Proctor, yeah. Phil, yeah. And... Proctor and Bergman.

Proctor and Bergman. That's right. And the story is America has been borrowing money and the credit has come due. And the person who owns the chit is an American Indian chief played by Chief Dan George. And America was out of oil. Everybody was living in their cars and they were all wearing jogging suits. everybody was living in their cars and they were all wearing jogging suits it was rather it was pretty funny

but I I chose the character should have been more hostile I was too passive but it was an interesting experience to see a mistake

because you can learn from a mistake but John was great Harvey Korman was unbelievable. Unbelievable. And it was filled with the most insane people. Fred Willard's in it. Fred Willard is in it. Great cast.

George Carlin. George, that's right. Yeah. It was loaded with strange cameos. It was fantastic. And it closed on page four. Yeah. How many times do you watch yourself?

Very rarely. Very rarely. Most of the time it's going to be, I saw Animal House for the first time all the way through at some event in San Francisco at something quest. I'm forgetting the name of it. Sketchfest? Something like that. Anyway. You had name of it. Sketchfest? Something like that. Anyway.

You had never seen it all the way through? Not in years. Not in 30 years. And I sat there and just marveled at everybody's performances. It was really fantastic. But generally, not really. Generally, you avoid watching your show. It's not fun to watch how young you once were.

Oh, yes, yes. And it's also scary when you go, oh, shit, this was like a year ago and look how much better I look. Yeah, yeah. No, I think the

sometimes I can now look and see, okay, that's not bad. That was pretty good. That was interesting. Because I'm looking at it from my memory of where I thought I was creatively as an actor, technique-wise. And, you know, the movies are the only place where you, or the TV is the only place that you have a record of the work.

I can only remember theater. What's the percentage of, hey, I was pretty good in that versus I wish I'd made a different choice? Actually, most of it was, that's pretty good. Good for you. Good for you. We talked when we met at Chiller and I talked about Shock to the System, which is another thing I like you in. Michael Caine. Yeah.

Michael Caine. Oh my in. Michael Caine. Yeah. Michael Caine. Oh, my God, Michael Caine. Now, that guy has met everybody, been everywhere, and can tell stories forever. I asked him, he said to me one day, I came in, you know,

it was after the weekend. This is a terrible Michael Caine impression, but he said, he said, how was your weekend? I said, oh, it was very good. He said, but he said, how was your weekend? I said, oh, it was very good. He said, yeah, it was pretty good too. What's on the table for you?

I said, I'm sorry? He said, acting-wise, what's on the table for you? What's coming up? You're a good actor. You must get offers all the time. I said, no, nothing really. He said, come on, don't be coy. You can tell me. I said, well, I was offered this horror movie.

He said, well, you should do it. He said, well, I said, I'm thinking about it. He said, don't think about it. Do it. It's a horror movie. They won't blame you. He made a few of those. That's why he was such a wise, is such a wise guy.

That is a good story. I said, are you Jewish? He said, no, I'm not Jewish. Why do you think I'm Jewish? I said, my family thinks you're Jewish. Why would they think I'm Jewish? I'm from the East End and I'm Cockney from London. I said, well, your name is Morris.

He said, no, no, no, I'm not Jewish Morris. I'm English Morris, Maurice, M-A-U-R-I-C-E. But we pronounce it Morris. I said, oh, so you're not Jewish. He said, no, I know it's going to be a disappointment to your family, but I'm not Jewish. So I said, well, how did you become Michael Caine? He said, well, I promised my agent, Dennis, who kept wanting me to change my name because he thought Morris Micklewhite was too big on the marquee. And I said, okay, when I get my first movie, I'll change my name.

So I was in Piccadilly Circus and I called Dennis to find out if I had any auditions. And I called him up and he said, okay, you've got to change your name. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, well, you got that movie. I said, what movie? He said, you got the movie Zulu. Zulu? What the hell is Zulu? He said, it's the movie about the Zulus and you got the part. So now you got to change your name. So what's it going to be? So he says, Michael says, so I said, I don't know. And I don't know. Michael. We'll change my name to Michael.

And Dennis said, you idiot. Michael Micklewhite's just as long as Morris Micklewhite. It's the Micklewhite we've got to change. And I was in Piccadilly Circus and I looked to my left and there was playing the Kane Mutiny with Humphrey Bogart. I thought, that's brilliant. Michael Kane. Michael Kane. And I say to Dennis, Michael Kane. And I thought, that's brilliant. Michael Caine. Michael Caine. And I say to Dennis, Michael Caine.

And Dennis says, that's great. That works. Michael Caine. I could see that on a marquee. And I hung up the phone. I was very proud of myself. And I looked to the right and I thought, it's a good thing I didn't look in that direction or I'd be Michael 101 Dalmatians.

That's funny. I didn't know that's where he got Michael Caine. That's what he told me. The Caine mutiny. That's great. That's what he told me. That's funny. I didn't know that's where he got Michael Caine. That's what he told me. From the Caine Mutiny. That's great. That's what he told me. That's great stuff. Oh, he had endless, endless stories.

Brilliant guy. And again, like I said, worked with everybody. You have. No, not me. Him. I'm looking at some of the people you've worked with, though. We mentioned it. Donald Sutherland, Kirk Douglas.

Don Amici. Don Amici. That was great fun. Paul Schofield. James Garner. What about Jack Warden, another guy you both worked with? I love Jack Warden. I think Jack Warden was an amazing actor.

Another incredible guy. You worked with him? Yeah. I just thought he was wonderful. Passed away, you did, with him. Yeah, yeah. Bob Hoskins. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Passed away. The amount of movies Jack Warden was in was incredible. Like 100 or something. It was ridiculous. We could do whole episodes on Jack Warden. He comes up a lot.

You know, I talk about famous people and who's a star and who's not a star. When I was doing Local Hero, I had a day off, and I'm wandering a small town in the highlands of Scotland. Maybe it's one street and there's 20 stores on each side. I mean, you know, a bakery and a plumber and an electrician and a laundry. And I'm by myself wandering up and down having a great time. And I see Burt Lancaster walking on the other side of the street with his girlfriend. I think it was his girlfriend. And as he's walking down the street, people are recognizing him from the shops. And they would come out and they would yell at him their favorite movie.

And you'd hear Crimson Pirate, fantastic. Sweet Smell of Success. Oh, I love that one. And on and on and on. And all I kept thinking was, that's a movie star. We're in Nowheresville. We're literally in nowhere. Maybe there's 200 people

in this town and they all knew who Burt Lancaster was. That was pretty cool. Fantastic. Directed by a Scotsman, by the way, a sweet smell of success. Yes. One of my favorite movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't take a bite out of me, Sydney. You're a cookie full of awesome. Did this come from, uh, from Peter's girlfriend, this note? Oh, yeah. Is Cornelia here? Cornelia's here. Hi, Cornelia. And our photographer, David Simon, wanted to ask you about doing The Nerd with Mark Hamill.

With Mark Hamill and Robert Joy and another wonderful cast. We were on Broadway, 1988, at the old, I guess it was called the Little Theater. It was the Helen Hayes Theater. It's where Dick Clark did American Bandstand. I think it seated about 500 people. One of the funniest plays I've ever been in. Hysterical. Hysterical.

Larry Shue. Larry Shue. Yeah. He had passed away tragically in a plane accident. Not young. And I had, Hirschfeld had passed away tragically in a plane accident. Not young. And I had, Hirschfeld had done a drawing of me in the Times, and his sister bought the Hirschfeld for me and gave it to me as a gift.

That was very sweet. I want to tell people to our listeners, not only if you haven't seen Local Hero, shame on you. To our listeners, please see Local Hero. Crossing Delancey, too. But I also want to tell people to see your movie, King of the Corner. King of the Corner. I think you can get it on, I guess it's not, you know, wherever you can download movies. You could probably find it on Amazon or one of those.

Yeah, I think so. And Eli Wallach, as we talked about. Rita Moreno's in it. Elisabelle Rossellini. Nice cast. And your directorial feature debut. Yeah, yeah. And nice shot.

We shot it in 20 days. It was exhausting. You know, this shows how my mind operates in a scary way. I never noticed. When you just said now that there was a Hirschfeld drawing of you, I swear to God, I started looking at your hair, seeing if I could find the name Nina. Gilbert, you're losing it. No, no, no. That is absolutely one of the greatest things I've ever heard. How many Ninas do you see? The status of, you know, 76 Ninas. I think I had one.

Can you tell us quickly about when you wish upon a Weinstein? The Family Guy episode? I got a call to do the voiceover to play a rabbi in this TV show. This animated television show. Gilbert was on it. He played a horse. You played a horse? Well, I'd never heard of Seth MacFarlane. I'd never really heard of the show. Gilbert was on it. He played a horse. You played a horse? Yes. Well, I'd never heard of Seth MacFarlane.

I'd never really heard of the show. And my memory just was this... It was Seth who came out and said hello. Who I learned was a big Animal House fan. And I don't remember much about it other than doing the job

and realizing, oh my God, I'm going to offend every Jew walking on this planet. But who better than me? And I think if memory serves, it was never aired because it was so offensive. Because people took it to be so anti-Semitic. It became an infamous episode yeah yeah yeah but uh years later uh he hired me to be in a tv show called dads that i did with uh martin mull and seth green and giovanni rabisi yeah it was great brenda song it was an amazing amazing group of people what else do you want to ask this man Gil

which was the family guy where he sings I need a Jew that might have been it yeah I think that was it that's why he hires the rabbi to the melody of when you wish upon a star he's singing I need a Jew the show is still running

it can't be I don't know and I remember there's one line in particular that cracked me up where he says, Peter says to his wife, he goes, this is show and show. He's a Jew. And the wife goes, oh, that's so exotic. That sounds like the scene. You've done some of the best television shows of the last 20 years, by the way. Damages, Good Wife.

I've walked through a couple of them. Sopranos. Sopranos, that was fun. James Gandolfini, I can't say enough of. He was an amazing guy. And Kimmy Schmidt, you're very funny. Kimmy, yes. Everybody says James Gandolfini was one of the nicest people.

I would say he stood out out not just for his talent but he understood his responsibility as the star of that show he had everybody's back extraordinary very powerful actor to work with and it was fun to play with him i mean i put him in the same category as all those people you've mentioned, men and women who you just come to play. And like, you know, after the initial, oh, it's so great to meet you and blah, blah, blah, once you get down to it, it's fantastic. He was – now that – I said to him one night after we finished the scene where he beats me with a belt, you know, I don't know if you remember that scene.

Yeah, sure. And I asked the guys who handle the props, I said, could you show me the belt that Jimmy's going to hit me with? And they showed it to me. I said, could you hit me? So they hit me on my back, and I really didn't feel anything. I said, harder, harder, harder, harder. The props guy must have hit me 10 times, and I didn't feel anything.

I said, you said it's styrofoam. You're not going to feel a thing. So I went to Gandolfini, and I said, listen, I think you can really go to town on me. This belt is made of styrofoam, and I had the properties guy hit me, and I didn't feel anything. And he looked at me like I was some mad method actor or something. So he went over and had the properties guy hit him with the belt. And once he was satisfied, um,

we did, we did the scene and he was able to put all that anger into the physicalness of hitting me with the belt. And, you know, as the night ended, it was three in the morning or something. And he was waiting for his car.

And I just said, you know what the word mentions? He said, I've heard of that word I think I know that word I said well you're a mensch it's been a real pleasure and we'd see each other periodically and when he died which of course was a shock to everybody I hadn't seen him in a while I'd call him a couple of times see if he wanted to be in a film that I was working on or trying to write and direct. Anyway, some months passed and they were going to have a memorial. And I didn't know when the memorial was going to be. And I just happened to be up early and was watching some ridiculous news show in the morning.

And they announced that at St. John the Divine up on 110th Street, the memorial for Gandolfini was happening. And I ran in the shower, hopped in a taxi, got up there. Everybody was already inside. And on the barricades were all the, you know, the cops who were protecting all the celebrities that were there and the people in general and the mourners and the family. And thank God they recognized me because they just let me right through. And I got to see the whole memorial, which I was proud to be part of. But it was because of, one, my respect for who he was, but because of what he gave me personally, that he reached out to make sure that I was comfortable.

That's a rare quality. That's nice. Yeah. Very special. We had Dominic here, too, and he sang for's a rare quality. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah, very special. We had Dominic here, too, and he sang for us. Dominic, another bad man. He was in my movie, too. I know.

He played the funeral director. Yeah. He was here. He sang Brother, Can You Spare a Dime for Us? I'm going to send you the clip. Oh, please do, yeah. It'll break your heart. Yeah, he's got stories, Dominic.

Yeah, what a great guy. Yeah. Well, again, that goes to what, you know, this whole program, as you say, is about. One person leads to another person leads to... You could spend your life listening to these stories. It's like being in a shtetl, hearing from

the old... That's why we like doing this. It's a showbiz shtetl. Khamyankul, what was this like when the Cossacks were last here 15 years ago? Oh, don't talk about Cossacks. Well, this has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre.

And we've been talking to a man who kissed Humphrey Bogart. We hate to wrap this up. We have another guest. You got some nerves. I know. You know to wrap this up. We have another guest. You've got some nerve. I know. You know Carl Gottlieb? He wrote Jaws. Carl and I go back at least 50 years ago.

Do you? Yeah, our paths have crossed. He's coming on next. Is he here now? No, he's going to be on Skype. Oh, hi, Carl. From L.A., not yet. But thanks, man.

You make this easy. Hey, you guys made it easy. What a pleasure. You want my good side or my bad side? We've been talking to Peter Riegert. Do you want the talented facade or the untalented facade? We got the pickle man, Gil. He's here.

Call me Gherkin. And Boone. Thanks, Peter. You're a mensch, too. Thank you very much. My pleasure, guys. Thank you. guitar solo I'm not a fool I'm out.