Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 237. Diane Ladd

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

Oscar-nominated actress Diane Ladd pays a visit to the studio to talk about her favorite movie directors, her days as a "Copa Girl," the importance of homegrown film production and the joys of collaborating with daughter Laura Dern and ex-husband Bruce Dern. Also, Barbara Stanwyck sends flowers, John Carradine opens doors, Robert Duvall turns on the charm and Diane drops by the set of "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." PLUS: Making "Chinatown"! Celebrating Roger Corman! The genius of Tennessee Williams! Martin Scorsese encourages improvisation! And Diane indulges Gilbert's obsession with "Carnosaur"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again.

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What a bunch of shit. Ha ha ha ha ha! What a bunch of shit. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're once again at Earwolf with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. We occasionally describe our guest as having many talents and skills, but our guest tonight may set a new standard. She's a producer, director, screenwriter, former COPA girl, best-selling author, activist, ordained minister, medical

counselor and healer, and one of the most versatile and admired actors of her generation with hundreds of film and television appearances to her credit. You've seen her work in dozens of popular TV shows, including The Fugitive, Gunsmoke, The Love Poet, In the Heat of the Night, ER, L.A. Law, Ray Donovan, and HBO's Enlightened, as well as the situation comedy Alice, for which she took home a primetime Emmy as Best Supporting Actress. You also know her from an impressive collection of memorable performances in feature films like Chinatown, Black Widow, The Cemetery Club, Carnosaur,

Coast of Mississippi, 28 Days, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Joy, Mrs. Monk, which she also wrote and directed, and three films for which she was nominated for an Academy Laura Dern made showbiz history as the first mother-daughter duo to earn nominations for the same film. awards including the British Academy Award the Independent Spirit Film Award and Cannes Palme d'Or Award or Palme d'Or 2010 along with daughter Laura and former husband Bruce Stern, she received a much-deserved star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. shared the screen with everyone from Paul Newman to Steve McQueen to Anthony Hopkins to Jennifer Lawrence, and worked with legendary filmmakers Roman Polanski, Mike Nichols, David Lynch, and Martin Scorsese. Her well-received book of short stories is called A Bad Afternoon for a Piece of Cake. And her terrific 2006 memoir is called Spiraling Through the School of Life, A Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Discovery. physical, and spiritual discovery. Frank and I are thrilled to welcome to the podcast one of our favorite performers and the only woman to ever direct her ex-husband in a major

motion picture, the legendary Diane Ladd. I'm tired just listening to all that. Somebody really did some research here. Yeah, if you want to take a nap. I might need a little nap. We left out among directors the wonderful David O. Russell.

Oh, David O. Russell. I love him a lot. Love them all. We left out Roger Corman, too, who we were talking about before we turned the mics on. Roger Corman, yeah, who gave everybody, all of us, I said before to you, that if it wasn't for Roger Corman, I might still be walking around with a picture book trying to break in and get an agent or have somebody listen to me. Name some of the people. Susan Strasberg, Peter Fonda. Oh, God, there's so many. Robert Redford.

Right. The list goes on and on. Jack Nicholson. Absolutely. Yeah. Peter Fonda oh god there's so many Robert Redford right the list goes on and on Jack Nicholson absolutely yeah Bogdanovich Bogdanovich

I told you Peter Bogdanovich had his first moment of directing an actor with yours truly we were doing Wild Angels and so Rogers

sent him off to do second unit work and said well do that scene with Diane just take her and do that scene. And Peter was so excited.

And he made it a great scene. He put me up against a tree. And he really was into it. He was Fellini at the moment, you know. It was great. That's great. Yeah, we had Roger on that show. And Peter.

Yeah. And Peter both. Wow. Yeah. And, yeah, it's an amazing group. Well, I've been very privileged to work with some great, great people in my lifetime. This Sunday, because I happen to be in New York, I'm going to go see a documentary on the great Olympia Dukakis. Oh, you work with her in Cemetery Club.

Yeah, boy, I love her. She's great. She's great. Her timing and mine was like freaking frack bow bow bow bow it was great now can we talk about the most important moment in your career he's gonna get it out of the way you're a bad boy the devil made him do it guys well uh-huh your your your daughter, the lovely and talented Laura Dern, worked on Jurassic Park. Yes, she did.

With Steven Spielberg and state-of-the-arts in computer-generated effects. Yeah. And you did a movie called Carnosaur. Yes. Let me tell you what happened Roger Corman read that Laura was going to do Jurassic Park with Steven Spielberg and it was an early burp

so he immediately had seen this book Carnosaur so he got the idea well if Spielberg has got Laura I'm going to get her mother because I'd done Wild Angels for him so he called the idea, well, if Spielberg's got Laura, I'm going to get her mother, because I'd done Wild Angels for him, so he called me up, and he said, I want you to do this movie. I just need you for a week.

He said, I'll pay you, and it was very little money. I said, Roger, you paid me that 10 years ago. I've been working like a dog since then. I make more money than that. Okay, how much would you do it for me? So I named a price. He said, that's too much. Another price, another price. So he said, I don't have much money. It's a low budget film. It's going to be magnificent. He said, I promise you, it's going to be as good as Spielberg's picture. It's wonderful, Diane. So what happened is he called me up without my agent and he said, would you do it for this

much money? It wasn't a lot of money, but it was nice money. And I said, probably. I just talked to my agent. It wasn't an hour later that the doorbell rang and there was a check made out to me in my name for that amount of money. Now I want to meet any woman standing at a door that has a check made out to her in her name that says no. I want to see somebody tear up that check. I took that check. I got in my car, and I went shopping. Honey, and he had me. That's why he is a very smart producer.

Roger was a very rich man, and he and his brother came from good money. Roger could have been one of the Fellinis of our time. I'm serious. But there was this personality that had to compete with his brother for money. He had to make commercial films, and I guess I better be glad for it because that's what got me my break. I'm grateful all of my life to Roger Corman. And he's a wonderful human being. So is his beautiful wife. They're a great family. But Diane got into connoisseur.

And it's in the picture. Let's see. I couldn't believe it. He kept telling me how great it was when he described it. It sounded wonderful. And then I read the script and a dinosaur breaks out of my stomach to get born. I said, what is this? So he said, a lot of young people will be watching this movie, Diane.

So he let me, for free, I put in a lot of good lines I thought that would affect young people's lives. You tried to put positive messages into Carnosaur. Yes, I tried to be one of God's angels and promote some good, healthy living while the dinosaur was growing and being born. I remember the dinosaur basically looked like a sock puppet. It's one of my momentous moments in life. Well, Robert Redford told me, not Robert Redford, sorry, Jason Robards told me that he was one of our greatest actors and whom I was privileged to co-star with in a TV show. And he got me a Broadway show, Jason. He was a magnificent actor.

He said his whole repertoire of his whole life, the one thing he remembers is this very independent movie where he had this line, Thank God it's Friday, boys. Thank God it's Friday. And he said it was the worst movie that he ever did, but he remembers that line. So I don't remember any lines from Connoisseur.

Just the gorilla thing. He'll treat you. I'm sure he remembers a lot. I remember one part. I mean, granted, Jurassic Park played around with science a little. They weren't totally sticking to the facts. But in Carnosaur, your reason for creating new dinosaurs was, and I remember the line exactly. You said, because I like dinosaurs better than people.

Did I say that? Yeah, yeah. Well, you remember my lines better than I do. I can't believe I even said that line. Yeah. Roger talked me into it. Well, there you go. It's funny you say Corman could have been Fellini because he did a lot to promote those kind of films in the States.

Because that was actually to his taste. Yes, he did. He liked Godard and Fellini and Bergman. Who was the great actor for Bergman, one of the men? Vonsito? Yes, I starred in a picture with Vonsito. Did you? Yeah.

And he told me that everybody was very grateful to Roger Corman for promoting their movies, his movies. Roger was always promoting those kind of great films. He distributed those movies in the States. A lot of people saw them because of him. It's true. Yeah. It's true. It's an interesting dichotomy to the man.

It was a little bit of contrast between Connoisseur and Rambling Rose. Right, yes. And I just got to say that the night that Rambling Rose was shown, did you know that the late Princess Diana chose that as her favorite movie? I saw that in the research, yes. She flew my daughter and I and the director, Martha Coolidge, to London, and she had a royal premiere and a party in our honor and a big reception first, and then she sat right next to me right here watching the movie.

I never sweat it so much in my life. Really? But I must tell you that this woman was one of the greatest people I was privileged to meet. She was so wonderful and down to earth and just looked you right in the eye and said, hello. She was a great human being. Wonderful movie, which my wife and I watched again last night.

Bob Duvall was also brilliant. Great. And the late John Hurd. John Hurd. We had a great cast. Yeah, Lucas Haas. Yeah, Calder Willingham wrote it. It took him 17 years.

I knocked on doors for five years trying to get that made. And everybody said, because the script came to me, and everybody said, oh too good just go do it for tv hello yeah so laura then i made her read it and she gave it to a producer renny harlan and said read this he said oh she said take it with you he was going to do another movie and he got locked in in the mountains in the snow and had nothing to read that's how sometimes the angels work. Isn't that funny? So he read that script and said, my God, I'm going to do this. Because he made action pictures of popcorn movies,

and you wouldn't associate his name with Rambling Rose. Yeah, the angels work in a mysterious way. That scene with you and Duvall in the bed when you turn away from him and he whispers into your hearing aid is one of the great scenes. And people need to see that movie with two great american actors they need to see that movie for a lot of reasons yeah because in that scene i'm supposed to be deaf you know yeah and bobby was being very sexy and he said uh can you hear me can you hear me we're husband and wife right he, can you hear me? Can you hear me? We're husband and wife.

She said, can you hear me? And I say to him, and he's not supposed to be able to hear me, but he does. And I say to him, no, I can't hear you, but I can feel you. Because he was very aroused in that moment. And if you look at that scene in the picture, you will see that he couldn't have read my lips at that moment. Because you turned away. His eyes were here, no here. And so he heard me say that. in the picture, you will see that he couldn't have read my lips at that moment. Because you turned away. Because his eyes were here, not here.

Yeah. And so he heard me say that. But I must say that he was one of the most honorable gentlemen I've ever been privileged to work with. What a sweet film. And you're the heroine of that film because you save, not to give away any spoilers. Yeah, he based it. Calder Willingham was one of our greatest writers, and he based it on a true story. And the woman was very spiritual, very metaphysical, a human being, you know,

wanted to know why we lived on Earth, what we were doing here, and a very evolved lady. And she helped many, many people because she was deaf from birth, and she had to wear this horrible contraption to hear. And her character is quite incredible. The character is a little like you, if I may say, which I picked up in the research. She's very spiritual like you are. It's odd you should say that. I always say that that part's the closest to my heart of all the parts I've played. Marietta and David Lynch's character.

Yeah, right. That's 360 degrees away. And you met with royalty because of that. Yeah, and I'm a country girl. My father was a veterinarian. I'm from Mississippi. I helped my father go through country places and help him sell medicine for poultry and livestock. It's not a subject that I can do at a party.

I can't really go to a Hollywood party and talk about cholera, rupes, sore head, and white diarrhea, and chickens. So I'm quite often odd man out, Gilbert. You describe yourself in the book as just a pigtail girl with a curious nature and a wonderfully crazy family. Wonderful family. Very loving. What made them, were they eccentric a little bit? Oh, the South. As always, Tennessee Williams was my cousin, you know.

And the South is always, I say there's as much hypocrisy in the South as in the North. But at least the South, they'll hug you and say, sit down and have something to eat. And you can say a lot for that while getting hugged. I'll take it. That counts for something. A lot. And you directed another former guest of ours, the great Bruce Stern, your ex-husband. It's right in the intro.

Yeah. And this was after you were divorced right and still friends and and you still for whatever reason you split up you still would work with him yes absolutely he's one of the greatest actors i've ever been privileged to work with i told him he was a stinking husband, but a magnificent actor. May I quote what you said about living with him? You said if you were still living with him, you'd be an old alcoholic on a hill. I'd just say that.

I said, if I hadn't gotten divorced from you, Bruce, I'd just be an old alcoholic living on top of a hill. So better I had gone on my own way. Right, right, right. But he was wonderful. We actually met when I was 17 years old in orpheus descending tom's play off broadway and um it ran a whole year and it was a huge hit tom had tried to tennessee williams tom lanier williams he had tried to make that a hit for 20 years that

play and i heard they were doing it uh i was a Copa girl at the time. I'd ask you about that. Kicking for my living. And I heard they were auditioning for it. And at the same time, I got my first little part, five lines in a Broadway show with Herman Shumlin. And I think it was starring Jane Fonda. And I turned it down. And Mr. Shumlin said, what are you doing? I said, I got to go do this Equity Library Theater for no money. I said, I have to do this part. He said, child, you do Equity Library Theater to get a part in a Broadway show, not the reverse. I said, I know, Mr. Shumlin, I'm very grateful, immensely grateful, but I have to do this part.

I just have to because we were promised, if it was good, that we could take it off Broadway. Now, I could hardly pay my rent or hardly buy food at that time, because I'd had a scholarship to study law at LSU, and John Carradine was doing Tobacco Road in California, and his co-star, Georgia Simmons, she'd always wanted to be an actress, and her family wouldn't let her. When she retired at 60 from school teaching, she got on a tramp steamer and went over to Italy to meet Fellini. And she met Fellini, and he loved her so much

that he put her in as the grandmother in Eight and a Half, in that picture. And that started her career. So then she started acting everywhere. She was so happy. She fulfilled her destiny later in life. So she was taking a vacation. They were redoing the sets in California, rebuilding them. So she took a vacation down to Georgia

and on the way back stopped for one night in New Orleans, Louisiana. And meanwhile, I had gone to a little Catholic school. Well, there are no Catholics and no Jews in Mississippi. And I'm both. No Jews in Mississippi, Gil. Okay, I'm both. What a surprise.

So I go to the St. Aloysius School, and I had enough because there was only seven in my class, only 35 in the whole high school. So you didn't get away with anything. And so I graduated. In three years, I had enough credits that I didn't have to go back the fourth year of my high school. So while the other kids are all there, I went on to New Orleans. And my family put me in a finishing school that almost finished me.

It was terrible, terrible. That's with the pump-up bra. Oh, my gosh, yes, absolutely. Oh, tell us about this. It was the Jane Russell era. The inflatable bra? And they gave you, I was small busted, and they gave me a big old plastic bra that I had to blow up with a straw. You go out to dinner, and if you started leaking, you excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, and blow yourself back up.

Well, what was the reason? Because they wanted you to look like Jane Russell. Was there a story about a girl on a plane wearing the bra? Yes, one girl. They forgot to tell a girl you don't get on a plane wearing it. And she did. You would have been in flotation advice. You had to blow it up with your mouth? Yeah.

With a straw. Yes, very interesting. At the finishing school in New Orleans. Very interesting charm school. So it was like a beach ball. Yes, it was. But so I was doing a little theater on the side, and Georgia Simmons is staying with a friend,

and she said, I got tickets for a little theater play tonight, but I don't want to go see a little theater. And Georgia said, I do. I love little theater. Let's go. So she comes. She comes to see it. And who do you think is one of the stars?

Yours truly, 16 years old. She goes back. She calls up John Carradine that night, wakes him up and says, I found the girl to replace Pearl in Tobacco Road. Wow. And meanwhile, the girl was from New Jersey, and she was giving up show business to go marry a Mississippi boy. It was like we exchanged lives. That's bizarre. So John Carradine said, I'll give her a train ticket to come.

I won't give her a plane ticket. I'll give her a train ticket. So he gave me a train ticket, and my father gave me $25 in my pocket. He said, I'll let you go do that audition. And when that money's gone, girl, you come home. I got on that train with a little luggage, and I was off, and I auditioned against another girl, and I got it. And that started the show business thing.

But then when I got to New York, we were told that if we got good reviews, that we could then take this play off Broadway. So this was my dream. My dream was to be a Broadway theater actress. And so I was so excited, and we did the play, and it was actress. And so I was so excited. And we did the play, and it was great. And the reviewers didn't come. They didn't come. No reviewers came.

And I said, well, where are the reviewers? And I personally, in 17, called up the New York Times. So help me. I got that editor on the phone. And he said, honey, we don't review Equity Library Theater. And I started crying. Wow. I said, why? We're all actors. If God gave me talent and I'm in New York and I'm, why wouldn't you review my talent for God? Why? I said, that's all I have to depend on is a review. I don't know if I can pay my rent next week or eat anything. All I have, I said, is if you don't

review it, how will we young actors give us a break? Please, if I'm bad, tear me up, but if I'm good, praise me in God's name. They sent a reviewer, and from that day till the end of the 90s when there was depression, they reviewed Equity Library Theater from that moment on. And so then Tom didn't make it to see the play, and neither did his great agent, Audrey Wood. But then I called him up, got his number, and I said, I'm your cousin. Tennessee Williams. Yes.

I said, Tom, I'm your cousin. You have been trying to make this play a hit for 20 years. You did it with Miriam Hopkins, Something Wild in the Country. Herman Shumlin did it on Broadway. I said, if this isn't a hit, I will eat your script with ketchup on it. I said, just come, let us put it on in the living room in God's name. So he did. He said, well, I won't give you an answer right then and there.

So he came, and my little mistake was I was so busy taking care of everybody else that I wasn't taking care of me. I was in the kitchen making lemonade and pouring a bottle of gin in it. He's sitting out there, and the guy he brought with him got so sloshed, he kept calling me a baby doll the whole time. So when Tom finished seeing the play, he said, I love it.

I'm going to let you do it. He said, I love everybody, but I'm not so sure about Diane. I swear to you. Oh, no. So, yes. So, anyway I'm not so sure about Diane. I swear to you. Oh, no. So, yes. So, anyway, then the producer comes to me and says, Diane, I got him the rights and everything. And then he said, at that time, we need $10,000 to do it off-Broadway, and we don't have the money.

I said, well, go get the money. He said, well, there's a guy from Wall Street who will give us the money if we let his wife do your part, Carol Couture. He said, so we want you to give up your part. I said, in a pig's eye, I got you the rights to this play. You're not going to push me around like this. Well, the producer was blind, Stella Holt. And I went out to a judge that I had met, a wonderful judge. And I talked to him about what's going on.

He gave me a check for $5,000 to back it. And then he gave me papers that other people could sign for the other 5,000. And to this day, I don't know how I got down to Wall Street as an invite into a man's club at a round table with five rich men. I don't know how, but the gods worked that. But I did a spiel and I got't know how, but the gods worked that. Wow. But I did a spiel, and I got that $5,000. For your art. I handed it to Stella Hote,

and they didn't give me a credit or a piece of it or nothing. I was blonde, you see. So I was too dumb to ask for it. But that play opened, and I got incredible, incredible reviews. This little girl, when she walked into Sardis, everybody stood up and applauded. I didn't know what was going on.

I was so naive. And it ran for a whole year, and that's where I met Bruce Dern. You were on a roll. I was on a roll. Yeah. Sometimes in life we get on a roll. You have to struggle a lot.

Roll in sevens there. And you have to bounce back a lot. I said you were rolling sevens there for a bit. That's right. Both in terms of getting it on, meeting a husband. It happens. It's happened a lot in me in my life that I've had to fight for what I believe in. For Rambling Rose, five years before somebody found it and made it. For different projects.

Your passion projects. Warren Beatty once told me that it took him 12 years to get Bonnie and Clyde made. And Bonnie and Clyde had everything producers want. The violence, the blood, the murder, the sex. Yep. So if it took him 12 years to get the money for that, and he was a big star, well, then you know it's got to take time. It's true.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast right after these important messages. We'll be right back. Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download. Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario. 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly.

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Ha, ha, ha. Boom, boom. Ha, ha, ha. Gold Gilbert He's the man, the man with the mightiest touch The mightiest touch Just kidding, it's all Frank. And now back to the podcasting stylings of Gilbert Gottfried.

With your daughter, Laura Dern. Yes, my precious, my treasure. A question you always ask, were you encouraging her to get in? No. No. I said she wanted to be an actress at 10, and I said no. I said you be a lawyer, a lawyer a doctor an indian chief a leper missionary anything i said laura you don't want to be an actor because they judge you if your

chin points they judge you like clark gable his ears were too big they judge you if you put on a pound you don't want to go through that you know be a doctor or or doctor or a lawyer or something where the work, they just judge the work. We keep praying they'll judge just the work. But no. I said, you don't want to do it. So she outsmarted me. She said, but mother, if I could play the piano, you wouldn't tie my hands behind my back and say I couldn't play until I was 21, would you? So I let her go to a drama school. I said,

okay, there's a drama, there's a school, a Harvard school for boys that's having drama classes for girls and boys. If you want to do it, you can go. You have to give up every Saturday of play to go over there and study drama. You have to make your own lunch and you have to go on a bicycle. Okay. And she did it. And then I was at the actor Bo Hopkins' house, and she went up to his agent and said, my mother and daddy won't help me, but could I come to your office? Well, I saw that in an interview.

She was doing end-to-rounds. She did it. And the girl said, all right, you can come, Laura. She's just being nice. Laura went and did a monologue for her. The next day, that agent called me up and said, Diane, I want to send your daughter for a lead in a movie. I said, excuse me, what did you say? She said, well, there's a lead, a picture called Foxes.

And she said, the girl's supposed to be 17. I said, Laura's just turned 13. She said, I know, but she can look 17. She said, I know, but she can look 17. So Laura went up, and it ended up between her and a girl 21 years old he finally went with because he felt Laura was too young. That's that Jodie Foster picture. Yeah, but he gave Laura a couple of lines in the movie. And then when the movie was being shown, he called me first for screening.

He said, I want to show you something. I want you to come see something. He said, come over here. I want you to see your daughter in my picture. She had like eight lines. He said, she's got cinema magnetism. I want you to show that your baby's got it. I said, oh, please. And I went in and I sat and I watched it. When I saw her, I started to cry. I thought this soul chose me as her mother to come in so she could help share this gift with the world for true. That's nice. And what did you say to her then?

Obviously, your tune had changed. I said, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Okay, you can act, but it's not going to be an easy road. It's not going to be an easy road, Laura. You better know. You better have a lot of bounce back-ism. There's that good story, too, in Alice Doesn't't Live Here Anymore where she eats the ice cream cones.

Oh, yeah. Well, that was with Scorsese. Oh, was she 10? Yeah. Something like that? I was shooting Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, and he put Laura in a little scene as an extra, and she ate, I think, 16 ice cream cones.

And Marty said she didn't get sick. He said she's going to be an actress. That's great. I'm sitting here. I'm laughing with a friend of mine. May I introduce her? Of course. I have a beautiful friend here.

She's named Dr. Mary Jo D'Amelio. And she is one of the greatest doctors I've been privileged to meet in my life. We've been friends for 30 years. And my husband broke his ankle in 2011. And in 2014, it started to act up in California. And he got a sore on the ankle, and it wouldn't heal. And it bloated. It became purple.

And he used to ride a bike 10 miles a day. He couldn't exercise. He couldn't swim. He couldn't go out on the beach. He couldn't work. It was horrible. And we've spent a fortune, a bloody fortune on doctors. And he had the ankle looked at because the doctor asked him to have the arteries checked and the veins.

They said they're fine. He did it again. They said they're fine. And thanks to Mary Jo, we flew here and saw a specialist. Finally, four years later, they checked the leg and found out that, you know, the artery comes down to the knee and branches out into three arteries. Two of them were blocked. And the doctor said those doctors were crazy because one of them is congenital. It's been blocked since birth.

And even though you were a football player, that's probably why your ankle finally cracked. It wasn't getting enough blood. So they repaired the arteries. And then Dr. Weinfeld at the hospital at Mount Sinai went in and they took all the old metal out of his ankle, eight pins, metal pins and a metal plate, and he's doing great. But this lady found all the great doctors for us, and she has helped baby him and take care of him and help me. Well, welcome, Mary Jo.

has helped baby him and take care of him and help me. Well, welcome, Mary Jo. She's the doctor for the stars, Dr. Mary Jo D'Amelio. Because you know why? This human being believes in her oath. She believes that in order to have a cure, you have to find the cause. Okay, and that you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. And I think doctors, whether it's medicine or politics or show business,

in many cases the systems are broken. And we've got to get back those who can of us and fight to fix those systems for that next generation coming up. Well, we always need a doctor. You do, right? Yeah, the two of us can benefit. So we're glad you're here. Now jumping back to the play, one of my favorites that you named, what was it like working with John Carradine? Oh, my gosh.

He was incredible. He was magnificent. He had a gift from the universe. I mean, when this man spit on stage, he spit like a country farmer. When he walked, he walked like a country farmer. And he was very gracious, and he was a great Shakespearean actor. Yeah, we had Keith here on the show. Yeah, it's his daddy. Yeah, David's daddy. I did a picture with David Macho Callahan, and I know Keith. And their father was truly one of the greatest Shakespearean actors of all time.

And to begin your career by working with someone that loves the theater so much and has such respect and honor for it is a great lesson for a young artist. It makes you appreciate the gift in yourself and fight to make it as good as possible. How old were you when he saw you for the first time? Sixteen. And there's a story in the book about you walking, doing a certain walk, and he was complaining about the way you walked.

He said, okay, in this walk, you have to show me that you are Jeter Lester's illegitimate daughter. So the first time I was using the, you know, the charm school's walk. Okay. And he said, no. No, no.

I don't want you walking like a model. So I did it again. He said, no, you're walking like a clod hopper country girl. You are born with an elegance in you that can only be seen through your walk. So I thought for a few minutes, took my time, and I did the walk a third time. He said, oh my God, you've got it. You've got it. You did it. Perfect. He went nuts. Perfect. And then the other young lady had to audition up there. He apologized for having both of us audition in front of each other. So then she went second to do it, and she panicked.

auditioning in front of each other. So then she went second to do it, and she panicked. She panicked. And I learned a lesson right then and there. No matter what happens in life, right, wrong, don't ever panic. And if you are panicking, don't let anybody know it. And she panicked. I'm not sure I know what you mean.

I don't know if I can do this. Well, that isn't going to get you the job. That isn't going to get you the job. That isn't going to get you the job. So she didn't get it, and I did. God bless her wherever she is today. Tell us about, too, you're talking about being in New York and not having any money. Just tell us a little bit about auditioning to be a Copa girl, because I found that one of the interesting things in the book.

Did you audition for the legendary Jules Podell? No, he didn't really. No, it was his choreographer, Doug Cornell. I see. Jules, we as Copacabana, first of all, when Tobacco Road closed, I had a natural ability as a dancer. Maybe I'd done it in a past life or whatever. So you'd done the Carradine play. I finished Carradine and it closed.

And my mother and daddy said, come home. They wanted you back in Mississippi. Did that upbringing nurture your creativity too? Oh, absolutely. Because in your book, you talk about southern life versus big city life. Yeah. I'm right now renting a condo to be here for this month. Yeah.

And I feel so bad that I don't even know any of my neighbors. Some of them don't even look up. And my father said, hell, even dogs sniff each other. That's not life in New York City. No, it's not. If I go around sniffing, y'all have to get me out of jail. So I feel bad when I'm in an elevator. It's not my nature to not say hello to someone.

So I find myself saying, how's everybody today? I'm the one who usually breaks the ice unless they really are cold and locked off. But if there's the smallest opening, I always try to say something to that human being as I pass by. And you were talking in an interview about how many movies there used to be made in a week. Yeah, I forget. Wasn't it, was it 35 every week? Something like that.

Yeah, the studio system. When Marlon Brando and Shelley Winters were in the business, and I knew both these people. I was very privileged. But I came in like 12 years later into the industry or about. They did all those great movies that they did, and it was thriving. And now we have runaway productions, really bad. Without getting too political, let me just say that my profession is the number one runaway profession in this country. We were number two.

We were bookend it between tobacco and weaponry, according to the United States Chamber of Commerce. But now we're number one. We're the number one importing and exporting business, but mostly exporting, which is why we're number one, because we're sending movie productions out to Prague, France, England, Spain, and it's really – Canada. I've been to Canada 15 times, okay? And right now, they have so much work in Canada because of us. They've built five stadiums because of the money from America. Actually, my husband and I went to,

he used to be on the United States Chamber of Commerce at one time. And he was at a conference in Florida, and I met Tom Donahue, head of the United States Chamber of Commerce. And he said to me, Diane, why don't Hollywood make better movies? I said, well, why in Hollywood making movies at all? And he was shocked when I gave him the lowdown. He said, why aren't you people marching in the streets? I said, you know, my actors bring in $10 billion a year to America, but they don't know how to help themselves. Every politician, everybody asks an actor for help. At the last go-around, out of 120,000 actors,

only 3,000 make $100,000 a year or better. And if they make $100,000, they give 50% of that to the five people that work for them that help them get the jobs. So they would only end up with a third, and that's before they pay their secretary, their office, if they have one, or whatever they do. And out of the 120,000, 87,000 actors made less than a $10,000 a year poverty wage, and 32,000 did not make one cent that year.

So I think show business is in need of help because when we make all these movies, we compete against places like Germany and France and their government. If I was in Germany now, even though my relatives died there fighting wars, if I was there, I could take my scripts to their government and if 10 people approved it, I would get the money to make my movie. And you don't in Hollywood.

You have to fight like a dirty, rotten dog to try to get a movie made. And I think culture is suffering really bad because when I was a kid, I could be in a picture at 17 or 18, and I got to meet Spencer Tracy. I got to meet the great Spencer Tracy and watch that movie. Tell us about that. Well, that was in Mad, Mad World. Madeleine Roux was in that movie, so she brought me on the set. How about that. Well, that was in Mad, Mad World. Madeline Rue was in that movie, so she brought me on the set.

How about that? And I went in, and I borrowed my roommate's scarves to stick down in my bust and high heels because I was going to go in and get discovered. And I was looking good, honey. Early 60s. Yeah, I think when I walked in that one of the crew people made some obscene movements behind my back regarding me. And Spencer Tracy saw it, and he didn't like it. Wow. And he said, Madeline, bring your young friend right up here.

And he set me right next to the camera. And he said, my name was Ladner or Lanier, either one. Not Lad. Hollywood took my near away. Okay. So he said, Miss Ladner,ner he said you sit right here next to camera so you can watch everything and he made remarks that day about show business that i have written in my book i don't want to say them now on the air but he talked about the actor's job

to protect themselves and fight for the good work and i had opportunities like that and so I could fight to get one line or five lines in a movie and begin my career when you go when these all these runaway pictures that go running away to other countries yeah they take maybe two or three stars and then they use their people in all the small parts so our actors to be around Barbara Stanwyck or Betty Davis or Spencer Tracy, you pick up their greatness. You can feel it. If you care, you can feel the difference in life between the evolved human being of the human family that cares. And so culture, I think, is as powerful a weapon as a bomb anytime. And I think we've got to fight for our culture.

And I think we have to bring more films back here because it's atrocious what's happening. Georgia got smart. Governor Dale got smart. We've got a new governor now, so I hope he is smart enough that he's made $6 billion for the state of Georgia by bringing show business to Georgia. Now, if he can do it, think how much money our country's losing right now. I hope people follow that example. Well, we're losing every 10 days at least $2 billion. Wow.

I'm sorry, every 10 years, every decade. $2 billion in runaway productions minimum at a low tax rate of 20%. That's $40 million of tax money. So we are being very dumb, very, very dumb, because culture, to make people laugh or cry, because when it lowers, when the standards lower, you get more and more ripoffs, kill them, hit them, rip them, violence, sell it sell it gimmick and you don't get real artistic clifford odette's writing or tennessee williams writing and you don't lift up somebody singing and hitting d above high c is part of the problem that those action films that those lowest common

denominator films work better for foreign audiences that they don't it's it's hard to export something like rambling Rose, which is an intelligent piece of work. No, Rambling Rose went very well. In fact, my own film, Mrs. Monk, did incredibly in Europe. And I won three awards as best director. No, I think that England, for example, look at their great movies that they make. Look at those wonderful movies that they make over there.

We've spoken about a few times is the idea of like if it's not a billion dollar movie the movies that you made all these years bruce has made uh nicholson pagino did not say it was made big movies but um yeah david o russell makes pretty big movies but i mean like taxi driver couldn't make it into theaters now. Well, you could try. Or Coming Home. Yeah. Or any of these small pictures.

They'd struggle. Well, I have a movie that I'm ready to make, folks, and I've been trying 30 years. I was in partnership with Jane Fonda at Columbia when Putnam was fired. I was in partnership with Mr. Oliver Stone, 50-50, when he stole one of my characters from my script. Uh-oh. And he was screaming that I was going to sue him and I told the great Oliver Stone that I was not going to sue him.

I was going to leave him to God. His picture bombed and I still have mine and I do believe that I'm getting the money for it this next two weeks. So I would appreciate everybody out there in America saying a prayer for Diane Ladd. Say a prayer for Diane's movie. And it's a film called woman inside martha woman inside and mr scorsese the

great scorsese says it's one of the greatest screenplays he's read in 20 years so if there's an investor out there you call gilbert and he'll put you in touch with me gilbert will do it you'll be the happiest man alive next year and when when you 2020 when the oscars come out when you were on the set of mad mad world yes did you meet or observe any of the other comics there no but i know the comics yeah well you work with buddy hackett when you were young you were an episode of stanley yes i did a part i was car Carol Burnett's cousin. It was a miracle how I got there to audition, and I got chosen to be Buddy Hackett and Carol Burnett's cousin. Remember that show, Stanley Gilbert?

Oh, that's right. And I love Carol Burnett and Buddy Hackett both. I loved them both. Yeah, and then also, when I was a Copa girl, all these people performed there, you know. They all came in and performed. Vic Damone, Buddy Hackacker, you name it. So you interacted with everybody at the Copa.

Yeah, and also my best friends in Hollywood just written a musical too called The Last of the Bad Girls. But we got 17 songs, but three of them have to be rewritten. So maybe in about two years you might be seeing that. But I wrote it for Lainey Kazan, Connie Stevens, Diane Ladd, and Renee Taylor.

And it's called The Broads Are Back on Broadway. I love those women. They say it's really, really, really good. So we'll just see what happens, guys. You've got to have dreams. And if it's meant for you, it will happen. If it's not meant for you, you know, we can't. Our angels can see 80,000 feet up.

This room and a lot that's happening better than I can. But I keep telling them they don't wear a watch, you know? Well, since you mentioned Stanwyck and Betty Davis, could you tell us real quick? I can tell you, sir, about Barbara Stanwyck. Yeah, tell us. I went and auditioned for a show with Richard Dreyfuss, Big Valley. I remember that show, sure. Yeah, and I was pregnant with Laura, and I hid it.

I was carrying a girl. You carry a girl lower, so I could wear a big country dress, and they couldn't really tell. But I was like almost six months pregnant, so I had to really be careful because the strange thing is everybody ignores you, but if you finally say to the wrangler or somebody, listen, I can't ride in a rough wagon. I'm pregnant. Oh, you're pregnant. Here's a chair for you, Diane. You want some tea? Everybody's so nice to you. So I was pregnant and I did a scene with Barbara Stanwyck.

And the first, this is the truth, the first scene I did, the costumer said, oh no, I had to put the wrong scarf on or she has to do it again. I mean, I'm acting my guts out. So Barbara looks at him. So we do the scene again.

It's my scene, my big emotional scene. One of them. So then we do it again and the guy said, oh, that light went out while we were doing it. one of them. So then we do it again, and the guy said, oh, that light went out while we were doing it. I'm sorry, she has to do it again. And Barbara's looking at him. It's Stanwyck. And then I did the scene four times,

and Barbara Stanwyck stepped forth. She said, you're watching one of the best, greatest young actresses I've seen in years, and you've just made her blow out herself four times. I will allow her to do it one more time. Wow. And if you don't get all of your stuff right, she will not do it again. So you better get it right.

So I didn't, you know, I did it again. And after the show was over, I went to Barbara Stanwyck and I said, Ms. Stanwyck, may I please thank you so much for taking up for me, for taking up for me. She said, Diane, with your talent, you don't have to ever thank anybody. Remember that. So I don't know how she found out that I was pregnant because I wasn't telling anybody. Okay, this is a true story. I'm in the hospital I have delivered Laura Dern and I'm having gas pains he took her cesarean so there would be no mistake because previously Bruce Stern and I lost our first child in an accident when she was two years

old and it's not really memoirs that's my miracle book because they said then I wanted to be pregnant again and so I tried very hard and I did get pregnant, but my body was in shock and it was a tubular pregnancy and I almost died. So five, they took the right tube, all of the right tube and five eighths of the left. And they said, I'm sorry, Diane Ladd, five top doctors, you will never have another child. And I said, I will. It's a very inspiring story in the book. I will. And so I did. And when Laura was born, she was my miracle child. And I talk about it in this health spiritual book. But as I'm laying there, when they do cesarean, I've got a ton of gas and it's pressing against

those stitches where they just cut me. And I'm in a little bit of living hell. Okay. And the nurse comes in and is walking around. And I said, please, can you get a doctor to put a tube up my backside to get rid of the gas? I'm in pain, please. She said, oh, he's in surgery right now. You can't, you can't, I can't get to the doctor right now. And I was dying and And she's looking at the flowers. And I've got this huge bouquet right here from Barbara Stanwyck. It was magnificent. It had little butterflies on each flower. She said, oh, those are pretty.

Who are they from? I said, Barbara Stanwyck. I thought, God help me here. She said, oh, yeah, sure. And she said, oh, my God, it is from Barbara Stanwyck. She said, I'll get you your tube. So I ran into Barbara Stanwyck. I ran into Barbara Stanwyck on the street, and I said, because she invited me for breakfast,

and I said, I want to tell you what you did for me. And I told her how she saved me. She fell out into the street laughing. Great story. She laughed so hard. So you got better medical care because you know Barbara Spanway. I certainly did. You know, Taya, we always ask this of people with long careers.

When you look back, and I was looking at your IMDB, you know, we talked about Stanley with Buddy Hackett. You were in Naked City with James Franciscus. A lot of the detectives with Robert Taylor. Yeah, Ben Gazzara, Harry Gardino, a name Gilbert and I love. Ironside, Gunsmoke, the Big Valley. You did 40 Pounds of Trouble with Tony Curtis. Do you look back on those years, on the so-called the hungry years? Do you look back on them with fondness?

Sure. Was it fun? Yeah. I mean, you didn't want to be broke and hungry. I don't know how I did it all. You don't know how you do it when you're young, do you guys? We don't know. The angels just don't know.

You don't know any better, as Gilbert says. You don't know any better. Ignis is bliss, you know? He did stand up at 15 for the first time. Yeah. I always say, like, I always had stupidity on my side. Well, it helps a little bit sometimes,

doesn't it? It does. But I think you just know you're living. You got something you got to share. And so you want to share it. I don't know if it's, whether it's cooking, you know, pastries or if it's doing a computer work. But everybody has some kind of gift.

When he makes people laugh. He does. It's a gift. You make people laugh. That's stopping hate. It's a gift. When you laugh, you get rid of gas. Your heart feels better.

All the benefits. All the benefits, Gilbert. All the benefits. What do you see, just tracking your journey, Diane, what do you see as kind of a breakthrough role for you in those days? Was it the Reavers? Was it Wild Angels? It was Rambling Rose for me.

Yeah, that late. For me, I think. That late. Yeah, I think it was late. I think it was. I mean, there were a lot of starts and stops, starts and stops. You know, you don't know about your life. You know, could I have been Meryl Streep?

Maybe. But there was an actor who died about two months ago. And Scott Wilson was one of the greatest actors that lived on this planet. He starred with Bobby Blake in Cold Blood. I know that actor. And had he had the right manager and agent, he would have been bigger than Tom Cruise ever was. But he didn't.

He never seemed to get the right agent or manager. So you would say, well, why? And Scott was a member of the screen actress Gail. And he had a vision that all actors' health should be protected and their insurance no matter where they went to work, Spain, England, or whatever. And the screen actress Gil, people laughed at him, mocked him. He didn't own his own home. He and his wife had saved $40,000

to pay down on their home. Instead of paying down on their home, they used that money to hire lawyers Instead of paying down on their home, they used that money to hire lawyers and to go fight with lawyers for what was called the global rule. That no matter where those 120,000 actors, should they be lucky enough to get a job in Prague or Spain, their pension and welfare, which would be enough for their insurance, would be covered. And he did it. That's admirable. One man did it all by himself. Now, if he'd been off being starring in movies like Tom Cruise, he probably wouldn't have did it. That's admirable. One man did it all by himself. Now, if he'd been off being starring in movies like Tom Cruise, he probably wouldn't have done it. So the universe had a different plan.

They give you a gift, but they have a plan how you're going to use that gift and reach the rest of your humanity. Scott Wilson, you remember him in Cold Blood? Oh, yeah. I did two movies with him. You did? He just died a couple weeks ago. And he's a wonderful, wonderful human being. So there's different paths, different strokes for different folks. Sure.

So I feel personally, I've been 82 times around the sun. They say I look 60. One of the, I have a show on December 7th, by the way. Where? Lifetime that I'm starring in. Good. It's on with two young people, a Christmas show, Pearl Harbor Day. It's called Christmas Lost and Christmas Found.

And the director came up and said, Diane, what kind of moisturizer do you use on your face? I said, why? He said, well, every time we look at your dailies, you glow. You glow on film. What is it? I said, it's white light, honey. It's white light. It's what we breathe.

Just breathe in that white light. And I believe that because they say on film, I look 60, unless I'm supposed to play older. I don't think you should think about your age. I think you should think about your health and your life and fill your heart with joy and handle the problems, which we all have. I saw that in an interview with you. You said you didn't really believe in age. I don't. Yeah. No. It's a state of mind. If something starts hurting, I got to fix it. Okay.

And are there any quick advice to actors, like how to approach a part? Do young people ask you? Young actors come to you? Listen, I'm a little sad about some of the actors that I've worked with lately in my life. Yeah? I find that they were far more concerned. But in working with them, they changed. But they were more concerned to like, if it's my close up, they suddenly touch my arm or something. So they're in that shot.

And if it's their close up, they stand like four feet away. So it'll just be their close up. They're camera playing. They're camera playing instead of learning about the work. I see. And that breaks my heart for them because it's indication and pretending. And some of them are very good at it. But I say, where are the young Marlon Brandos and Jimmy Deans and Barbara Stanwyck and Betty Davis and Joan Crawford and Laura Derns and Diane Ladds and Ellen Burstyn, Olympia Dukakis and Geraldine Page and Cherry Jones. These are actors. They're like doctors. They care about their work.

We should all care about our work and do the best that we can. I know you care about young actors. You said that very touching thing when you guys all got, you, Bruce and Laura, all got your stars back in 2010. And you said something nice. I'm paraphrasing, but you said you hope that some young person that walks on the star takes in some of that energy, some of that creative energy. Who knows? Maybe I'll be hanging on the other side and be zip-zapping them. Was that a special day?

I know you're big on gratitude. It was a wonderful day. And there was another day where I, among representing the show business film, they took one person from each category and they had us each write a letter to the next generation. And 30 years from now, they buried it. And so if there's no big earthquake and California is still there, they're going to dig it up and read that. I won't even be on the planet when they read that probably, probably. And I just think that things like that that we can do while we're alive is so incredible. A book of recipes for your relatives.

Just contribute something. Contribute. I'll never retire. I'll never retire. That's good to hear. Do you ever, are you one of those people who can watch the films you've done, or do you cringe? I never cringe. No?

No, hardly ever. Maybe when a dinosaur comes out of me. Carnosaur makes her cringe. You know, before we turned the mics on, we said that Gilbert was going to bring up Carnosaur, and Diane said, you are a bad boy, Gilbert. You're so bad, you're good. Do you look at the performances? And a lot of actors say this.

You think, oh, I could have tweaked it. I could have done something different. Or are you content to let it go? You're content to let it exist? Yeah, I find that, I mean, you know what's good and you know what's bad. Uh-huh. I think of that scene in Alice, the scene that you said was largely improvised, the two of you in the bathroom when you leave Vera alone in the diner.

That's a scene, and I must pay you a compliment because watching Alice doesn't live here anymore again last night, and I love Scorsese as much as anybody, but that movie shifts into another gear when you show up. It really happens. My wife and I say, it's like there's a movie star. You know who told me that? You know who said that? You're the only person but one other, Jenna Rollins. Really? When I first met her the first time, she said, I'm voting you for the Oscar.

I'm voting for you. But they didn't get my picture out enough, so not everybody saw it in time. I like the film, and it moves along at a certain pace, but then you show up, and it just takes off. That's very kind of you. And a lot of the scene, both were you sunbathing? Yeah. How much did you improvise? That's our Fellini song.

Yeah, you improvised a lot of that? That one was totally improvised. Terrific scene. Yeah, that was totally improvised. You've got to be proud of that one. Yeah, we are. Going back and watching that. We are, but Marty allowed it to happen, you see.

And he encouraged it. That's the ability he gives us. He's wonderful to work with. He's a New York director. So if you have an idea, you've got to wait until noon. You've got to say, Marty, can I speak to you for a minute? Yes. After lunch, can I just talk to you for a minute then?

After lunch? Yeah, after lunch, Marty. So you want to wait until he's had his lunch. If it's a New York director, let him have lunch first. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. We should ask some of the people you worked with, like Paul Newman. I was so young. W-U-S-A.

W-U-S-A. I like that picture. Stuart Rosenberg? Stuart Rosenberg was a genius. You worked with him a lot in the early days. Yeah, I did a couple TV shows. His name keeps coming up. He was very complimentary to me, very encouraging.

He said, I don't know what's going to happen with Diane. He paid me company. He said, you could put this one, this one, this one, this one in a room. They wouldn't equal one Diane Ladd. He said, but she's watching people. It's like he said, she'll do something big and then pull back. It's like she's watching here, watching the world, watching the play that she's doing. He said, someday, I don't know how long it's going to take, she's going to say, that's it.

And then she's going to step forward with her power, and she's going to hit. And I've decided next year to do that. So he knew something about you. That was a long time ago. That was Naked City, half hour show. Yeah, and his name kept coming up. James Franciscus, yeah. How did you like working with Paul Newman, even though you were a very young actor?

Oh, I loved working with him. Was he nurturing? Was he kind? Oh, divinely kind. Divinely New York actor. Yeah. Divinely gracious. I was supposed to be the young Joanne Woodward that makes him think of Joanne.

And that's, that was it. And Steve McQueen? And Steve McQueen and the Reavers? Steve McQueen and the Reavers. He was a little rough to work with. We've heard that before from guests that were here. What about your friendship with Marlon Brando? I found that very interesting in the research.

Marlon, his nickname was Bud, and i never had an affair with him let me say it right now shelly winters totally believed i had an affair with him i promise you i did not did she yes okay yeah she did i didn't i was scared of his power did did shelly winters basically have an affair with every actor around that i don't know she's up there you'd have to ask her did you shelly shelly? She had a share. She was a magnificent human being. Yeah. She cared about actors.

She cared about the work. She cared about life. We're such fans of her work. I'm such a fan. She's my daughter's godmother. My daughter has two Jews and a Catholic as godparents. I'm covering all bases. Okay.

But Brando, what kind of impression did he make when you first met him? You said you were intimidated. Well, yes. By his power? Yes. Yeah. I thought he was extremely attractive. Uh-huh.

Powerful man. I thought he was as vulnerable as a pussycat. I thought he was a loving, kind, vulnerable person. But I thought he'd been hurt by women, done in by the woman who told him she was a princess. Got Laura's eye. When you do something like that to a man, and also their mother was rough. You know, she'd been an alcoholic. Great woman. It turns out his sister was one of my best friends. Jocelyn had been called one of the greatest comedians on Broadway.

And she was extremely talented, beautifully talented. She was overshadowed by her brother. But her husband was caught in the McCarthy thing. He was one of our greatest writers. And suddenly he was blackballed and couldn't make a living. And nobody knew why. It was only 20 years later when they had a friend that was allowed to go in the Congressional Congress

looking at the testimonies and things. And he had signed a petition that Jackie Robinson be allowed to play baseball. And that took him down. McCarthy used that and that alone. I have no idea of that. Against him. Wow.

That was it. That's all they had. That's all they had. They called him a communist. And because of that, and Jackie Robinson was anything but. He was an All-American. Of course. You know, so sometimes in life.

So Jocelyn suffered that too, you know. So he had complicated relationships with women, Brando. It seemed to be. Yeah, interesting. It seemed to be. But he was the most gracious and the smartest. And I had a meeting with him about my script, this script that I want to do, that I'm hoping to do,

Woman Inside, that I'm very close to having the money. Mr. Scorsese was going to have his people back my film, and that's the backer that turned out to be an embezzler. So his funds were frozen. So I didn't get my backer yet. Hello, is there a backer out there? If you know anybody with a lot of money who wants to have one of the greatest movies ever made. So Marlon read my script, and in fact, one scene in my movie, he helped me with it.

It's a fabulous scene. He helped me with it. He says, no, it's yours. Take it. He helped me with one of my scenes in the movie. That's great. But he was great, and he was kind when my daughter was doing a movie. He sent her flowers.

But he was great, and he was kind when my daughter was doing a movie. He sent her flowers. And the night that she got engaged to somebody, he came by our house to congratulate her. So he was a gentleman and a scholar to me. Yeah. You know. Glad to hear that. He did come over one night that could have ended up being romantic.

But what happened is the friend that came with him, the girlfriend, she put a candle that she thought would be nice to light some candles, and she put it right under the fire alarm. And just as we were having a dinner, all the firemen were rushing through the house. Wow. Because whenever Mr. Brando and I did have a few minutes together, something like that always happened. Was it meant to be? No, it was not. No, it was not. The angels wanted us to be friends.

Tell us also about your friendship with Rock Hudson. Rock was a beloved friend. When I was about 13 in Mississippi in a theater, I was watching a movie starring Rock Hudson, and he got shot. And I stood up in the theater and said, no, no. And Monsignor Burns was sitting behind me and said, oh, dear God, would you be sitting down, Diane, please? Who knew that I would end up later in life starring in a movie with this man? Isn't life funny?

Can I ask you a couple of quick questions, Diane, from listeners that they wrote for you? Oh, sure. This is from Sean Liu. Does Diane have any fond memories of National Lampoon's Christmas vacation? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I did my own stunt when the squirrel ran out in the living room. I did my own flip in the air. I wouldn't do that now.

That's you? That's me. I did my own stunt. Impressive. I was a pretty good dancer. I did my own stunt. And then the director had said when i'm laying on the floor dan get closer to the squirrel get closer to the squirrel and the wrangler came over

and said miss land please don't get closer to that squirrel he said listen squirrels are great but you know it's a set anything could happen and if that thing gets scared jumps on your head or something they got long claws and it could rip your face. I said, uh-huh, and I was scooting backwards, and the director was saying, no, no, I said closer, Diane. I said, uh-huh, uh-huh. Well, that movie was good to you financially, too, you said.

I made more money off Christmas Vacation probably than any film I've ever made, and every year, everybody watches it, and there's a check. Isn't that nice? Thank you, Chevy Chase, and I get a Christmas card from Chevy Chase every year. God bless you, Chevy Chase.

And you played his mom and you're something like four years older than him. No, I'm not even that much older than him. My then manager had gone to school with him and we're pretty much pretty close to the same age. That's hilarious. Then I got a call. Come audition for this role to be Chevy Chase's mother.

So Shelly Winters loaned me her dead mother's dress. Oh, that's right. I was going to ask you about that. I put talcum powder on my hair. I wore glasses, and I picked up some oxfords from Salvation Army. And when I went down, there were beautiful women and actresses auditioned whom I had seen starring in films when I was in kindergarten. I felt bad. All these women were trying to get this job. Oh, that's sad. And I walked in that room to audition, and they're not supposed to film you

without permission from your agent. But that gas director had that gamer right there. And, if I'm up for a sexy role, do I want them to see me looking like this? No, but I didn't say anything. I thought, I'm not fighting. Whatever you want, okay. I'm here. I just nodded, let her roll her film. And Chevy was standing over there where Gilbert is. And I said, sonny boy. And I ran over and grabbed him and opened his mouth and put my fingers in his mouth and patted his cheeks and said, My honey baby, my honey baby, I love you so much. Before he even knew what had happened to him.

So I did all that, and when I went home and my manager called me and said, Steffi Herkos at the time, she said, You got the job. I started crying. I said, My career is over. Oh, God, I got a job playing his mother, and I'm his age I said, my career is over. Oh, God. I got a job plan. His mother, and I'm his age. Oh, my God. But then I left myself to the bank. Good for you.

16 weeks work. And I used to hide in the car so the director wouldn't see me. So I'd get to the makeup trailer. Jeremiah Chechik. Yeah. But she didn't have to do that much. I found that I change depending on how I feel inside. You know how one day you might walk in and somebody says, are you sick? Are you okay? You say, well, I'm not feeling good because what is it that makes you look that way?

What happens if you walk in and somebody said, are you in love with somebody? What's going on? How does that show what you feel? Because when you feel it inside, that's the actress's work to learn and to put across real acting. And we learned that from the Russian actors, from Chekhov and Stanislavski. You like doing comedy because you're good in them. I love doing comedy, and I love doing drama. I love both.

I love the two extremes. You're funny in 28 Days, too. They didn't give you a ton to do in that one, but you made the most of the part. Well, that director, Betty, you stole that whole scene for the horse from me. I ad-libbed that whole scene. The horse therapy scene? Yes, that was my scene. And she took it and gave it to Sandra Bullock.

And I'm still ticked off about it. Yeah, but let me ask you this. What's wrong with that picture? You go to a place, you're supposed to be there 28 days. The rehab. That's all you can be there. Yep. But I'm there when Sandra gets there.

And then I'm there when she's leaving. That's a good question. No body of a set of words. We're all there when she gets there and all there when she leaves. That's a good logic question. What happened? One quick one. Rose Mancino wants to know, please ask Diane of Martin Scorsese, Roman Polanski, David Lynch.

We'll add David Russell to this. Which director made the most indelible impression on her? Well, darling, that's like saying which of your husbands made the most indelible. You can't answer it. Everybody in life is different. Everybody has their own gift and their own path and their own script,

and each script was totally different. They each made an impression in a different way. Did you like doing Chinatown? Yes, I did. Yeah. Very much was Mr. Polanski. Yeah. Very much I did, and there's a funny scene there.

Do you want to hear it? Yeah, tell us, please. Well, I lay down, and the script, it says, ants crawl, and she's dead, and ants now crawl on her face and in her nose. And I said to my agent, listen, get it straight. They better make a head of me, because they're not having ants crawl on my face.

Oh, he said, Diane, don't be ridiculous. They never have ants crawling on your face. I said, this is Hollywood. They would do it if I would let them. They would do it. What do you mean? And he said, oh, they won't. I said, you tell them that.

So I go down that day to do this scene and i lay down now and roman everybody was very quiet because roman put my body in a very shockingly distorted manner and you knew that he was remembering his own tragedy and reenacting so the crew was very quiet while this was going on. He's placing the arm away. And you knew that this man had seen this and he has to do it or not do it. Well, suddenly I said, then I see the prop guy step over me and open a cabinet and he takes out a big old jar of ants. And I said, Roman? He said, yes. I said, Roman, you're not going to let ants crawl around me, are you? He says, why? Are you scared of little bugs?

I said, yes. Yes, I said, all women are. Okay, no ants. No ants near Diane. But we get ready to do the scene, I think. I think maybe he lied. Maybe he lied. He could have lied.

Those damn ants could be over there crawling up my ear and on my nose in about one minute. And I said, I wasn't sure. I said, Roman, can I please have some cotton? He says, cotton for Miss Ladd. The next one, cotton for Miss Ladd. Cotton for Miss Ladd. Cotton for Miss Ladd. Cotton for Miss Ladd. Wait a few minutes. Cotton for Miss Ladd. Cotton for Miss Ladd. Cotton for Miss Ladd. Cotton from his lap. Cotton from his lap. Cotton from his lap. Cotton from his lap. Finally, Roman brings the cotton over. I take the cotton.

I put it in my ears. I feel like I could swap my nose. I said, I'm going to get out of this place he's got me in so fast. He shoots the scene, and I sit up, and there are no ants. And I said, Roman, why do you think that I wanted cotton for that scene? He said, of course, I know why. I said, Roman, why do you think that I wanted Cotton for that scene? He said, of course, I know why. I said, why? He said, you're a method actress.

You want to hear nothing so that you can pretend and play dead. I said, oh, my God, you're such a genius, Roman. You're right. Thank you. Oh, he was right. No, he wasn't right at all. That wasn't the reason at all. I just let him believe he was right.

I didn't want to insult him. I thought, okay, if that's what he thinks, God bless him. My ears were safe. He was a gentleman and a scholar. It's a small part in that movie, too, but again. I got one of the best reviews. Ida slash Mrs. Mulray. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In fact, Bruce Dern was sitting there by, and he said, when do you come on? I said, when you come on i said when to come on i just came on had a big scene he said i didn't recognize you because you know i had on a red wig but i did the first almost the first scene well when she's drinking ida so i did reverse makeup you put shadow on your cheeks to make it thinner in hollywood or women do and rouge on your cheeks to make them a bit lower the jaw. I did the reverse. I put rouge down in the jaw and shadow here to give me a bloated look on my face. And Bruce didn't even recognize me at first. How about that?

Working with your old friend, Jack. I love Jack Nicholson. From the old days. He is a great actor, Jack. And you were friends with Johnny Cash, too. I love. And June Carter. I love Johnny Cash.

It's all in the book. June Carter Cash, two of the greatest people I was ever, and became dear lifetime friends with him. Dear lifetime friends with him. What a journey. It was a journey. Diane. Yeah.

It's been quite a journey. Since your dad said you could be anything you put your mind to. That's true. That's true. He said, Diane, you can put any damn thing you put your mind to as long as it won't hurt you. They want you to be a district attorney? No, I wanted to be. You wanted to be a district attorney.

Five years ago, I wanted to be a district attorney and save mankind. And I wanted to be a leper missionary, too. Which you told Diane, which you told Laura to be instead of being an actor. Yeah, go be a leper missionary. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything else you want to ask this lady, Gilbert? Well, you're the first guest we've ever had who has spoken to my son first.

Oh, Matt. If you want to know where the true soul is. He's a sweet boy. Go to the son. Right? It happened accidentally. But Dora was just so kind enough to check and make sure that I was in the cabin and everything. And Max was there.

And I said, I hope that you and your lovely family are safe and dry. I'm glad you're not out in the rain. And she said, well, Max is right here. I said, may I say hello? And he was adorable. He got on the phone. He was so cute. And I said, Max, are you getting ready for Christmas? And he said, yeah. I said, are you celebrating? He said, well, yeah. Well, I celebrate Hanukkah. I said, well, I'm Jewish and Catholic, and I celebrate both. I always have a treat. He said, oh, so you might be in trouble, Gilbert. You might have a Hanukkah treat.

You can have a Hanukkah treat. It's going to cost you, Gilbert. I'll pay for it. Okay. That's very nice. Can you take care of his college, too? I think I might skip that one. I don't want to invade your territory.

Would you tell Bruce we hope he's feeling better? I really feel he's feeling great now. I must say he did one of the early shows in our run, and it was a turning point for us. Really? To get Bruce Dern on this show, yeah. He's a good guy. Yeah. And we had technical difficulties because we did it long distance over Skype.

We had technical difficulties. He was patient. He sat through everything. He kept the Skype. We had technical difficulties. He was patient. He sat through everything. He kept the crew on the West Coast laughing. He was really a. And he's one of those people that he can tell you who did the catering on a film. He has a photographic memory about all of those movies. He has a photographic memory.

Yeah. Your books are, like I said, there's stories in there, great show business stories, but it's also about kindness. It's also about forgiving people. It's about forgiving yourself. Well, if they go to my website, dianelad.com, and that would lead them to my company website, which has the films and plays on there that I've read and done and wrote and trying to do. I want to recommend Mrs. Monk, too, to our listeners. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's fun.

Excel Entertainment or Excel.com is the company, my little film company. It's E-X-X-C-E-L-L. That has a list of everything on their projects. And my Diane Ladd has some health tips and all kinds of information and quotes and stuff. It's pretty good. We worked pretty hard redoing it recently. So I want somebody to watch it because I spent some time doing it. You're a renaissance woman.

Now all we have to do is get Laura and complete the whole family. That's right. I'm going to tell her that. Gilbert's going to plug the books. Say have a nice day. The two books are called, both by Diane Ladd, our guest today, Spiraling Through the School of Life, A Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Discovery. It's a great read. Find Your Miracles.

And Stephen King endorsed it right on the front cover. There you go. Stephen King. 15 people endorsed it. He directed your daughter when you were right on the front cover. There you go. Stephen King. 15 people endorsed it. He directed your daughter when you were working with the other dinosaur picture. He later gave me a job. Oh, that's right. I did a series with Stephen King.

And a bad afternoon for a piece of cake. Those are the short stories. A collection of 10 short stories. Will you write another book, Diane? Rex Reed gave me an incredible review, and so did another great reviewer. And I have a new book of short stories, half finished. Good. And I have a novel finished, 365 pages, about me and a woman who helped save this country.

She's on one side of the veil, and I'm on this side. And it's a very powerful book. It's called Interrupted Destiny. How do you find the energy to do all this? I don't know. And you made a film with Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Plummer and Peter Fonda that's coming out too? Yes, it's coming out, I guess I said December 7th. Last full measure?

Yeah, December 7th is the TV show on Lifetime. I also was on Hallmark this year for 10 weeks in Chesapeake Shores for Hallmark. I love the Hallmark people, and I love that they do family shows for family people, and I wanted to be part of their audiences. I did that, and then the Christmas show is called Christmas Lost and Christmas Found. That's Pearl Harbor Day, December 7th. But then the end of February comes a movie that is an incredible true story about a Vietnam hero. And I am the mother of the boy.

He's dead in this film. But it's a beautiful movie. And Chris Plummer is my husband. And William Hurt is in it. It's got a great cast. Sebastian Stan. Peter Fonda. It's got a great cast.

And it's a great film. We look for that. The Last Full Measure. The Last Full Measure. How's Sunshine the Cat? Still with us? She's in heaven. I'm sorry.

Sunshine the Cat. I'm sorry. It's a very sweet story in the book. I have four dogs at home. Four dogs. The last question is, what do you mean? Your motto, have a little faith, kick a little dirt? Believe in yourself. You can't believe in somebody else if you don't believe in yourself.

Even when you feel like you want to throw up or cry, then take a pillow, hit the wall with it, get it all out, cry Cry and start all over again, just like Dumbo. Fly high with love and joy. And kick a little dirt. But as long as we have somebody like you guys helping people laugh and get rid of the gas, we can all wake up with a smile on our face. Right, Frank? We try. We try, Diane.

It's been a pleasure being here. No, it's our honor and our pleasure. And we were thrilled when Adam Karsten called and said, hey, how about Diane Ladd? We jumped. And once again, give all our best to Bruce. I'll do it. Yeah. I'll do that.

I'll do that. I'll tell him how glad you were that he was on your show. We loved him. And that's why he's got to come back and do it again. Yes. Absolutely. Open invitation. Absolutely. Bless your heart. Thanks for doing this for us. We's got to come back and do it again. Yes. Absolutely. Open invitation. Absolutely.

Bless your heart. Thanks for doing this for us. Go get Olympia Dukakis down here. She's got a big documentary opening Sunday. We'll call her. Yeah. And lovely to meet you, Mary Jo. So I'm Gilbert Gottfried.

This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we have been talking to the star of Carnosaur. You're so bad. You're good, Gilbert. The great Diane Latt. Thank you, Diane. Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre with audio production by Frank Furtarosa. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden,

Greg Pair, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Fodiatis, John Murray, and Paul Rayburn. Thank you.