Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 258. Robert Wagner
Episode Date: May 6, 2019Gilbert and Frank welcome screen legend Robert Wagner, who talks about his years as a 20th Century Fox contract player, shares his memories of making the film classics "Harper," "The Pink Panther" an...d "The Towering Inferno" and looks back on his decades-long friendships with Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy. Also, Fred Astaire charms the crowd, Dean Martin drops by the set, David Niven comes in from the cold and Robert guest stars in a memorable "Seinfeld" episode. PLUS: Lionel Stander! "It Takes a Thief"! In praise of Robert Osborne! The genius of Blake Edwards! And Robert pays tribute to Hollywood's greatest character actresses! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, this is Richard Marks. Gilbert
calls me Dick. And you're
listening to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried,
and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and our engineer, Frank Verderosa.
Well, Frank and I have done over 250 of these interviews now, and every once in a while,
we somehow manage to snag a guest even we can't believe we hooked. Tonight's guest certainly
fits that category. He's a producer, New York Times best-selling author, and one of the most admired
and popular actors of the last seven decades. Appearing in classic films such as the original Titanic, A Kiss Before Dying, The Longest Day, The Pink Panther, Harper, The Towering Inferno, Midway, Wild Things, Crazy in Alabama, The Curse of the Pink Panther.
And in the Austin Powers series as Dr. Evil's long-suffering associate number two.
He also made dozens of TV appearances on hit shows such as Laughing, Seinfeld, The Simpsons,
Boston Legal, Futurama, Two and a Half Men, and his own memorable series, It Takes a Thief, Switch,
and of course, Heart to Heart. In a long and very distinguished career, he's worked with and played
with virtually every Hollywood icon you can name, including Spencer Tracy, Robert Mitchum, James Cagney,
David Niven, Elizabeth Taylor, Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Davis,
Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Sir Lawrence Olivier, just to name a few.
A few.
His three best-selling books are Pieces of My Heart, You Must Remember This, and I Loved
Her in the Movies, Memories of Hollywood's Legendary Actresses, and Old Three are Essential
Reading for our fellow showbiz historians.
essential reading for our fellow showbiz historians. Frank and I are thrilled to welcome to the podcast a genuine matinee idol and a screen legend and a man who says that the wig he wore in
Prince Valiant made him look like silent film star Louise Brooks,
the legendary Robert Wagner.
Oh, thank you for that introduction.
That was great.
That was great.
Thank you so much, Gilbert.
I promised it would be lengthy, Robert.
Now, Pete.
Yeah, but there's only one thing in that introduction.
I didn't ever work with Cary Grant.
Well, we said worked with and played with.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, good.
Because I knew him and he was a very...
Uh-oh, don't tell me you froze.
Oh, fuck.
There we go.
Hey, we're back.
Oh, sorry, technical.
Sorry about that, Robert.
The last words I heard from you were, oh, fuck.
That was the working title of the show.
Love you for that, Gilbert.
I knew exactly what you felt.
Let's try this again.
Are we back up, Frank?
Okay, what we were saying with...
Hey, Gilbert, that was wonderful.
I love that, Gilbert.
That was great.
What did you love?
The old fuck. Yeah.
So we were talking about Cary Grant.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, you didn't work with him, but you were friends.
No.
Yes, and I really liked him so much.
He was such a wonderful man to me.
And, you know, like every young actor in that period,
they all wanted to be Cary Grant.
And I was one of them, I can tell you.
He was a very special, wonderful, wonderful man.
I love that story from the book, from Pieces of My Life,
where you were on the set watching him work.
And he was well into his 50s at that point.
Oh, yes.
And he told you he had just learned something for the first time.
Yeah, well, he was doing that picture with Deborah Carr, you know, the affair?
Yeah.
I believe that was it. Affair to remember.
It had been made two or three times.
And I want to ask you something about that introduction in a minute, too.
He was doing the affair with Deborah Carrorah carr and he and i was there
watching him i was on the set that day and i was watching him and he came over to me and he said
geez i really i really learned something today and i said really and he said yeah he said i i
learned how to breathe in a scene and i i thought about that, and it's true.
Sometimes you're holding your breath,
waiting for the next line, or you said your lines.
And breathing is a normal thing to do,
and we do it all the time.
But sometimes, at least for me as an actor,
I wound up holding my breath.
I found out.
It's amazing that he could learn something
that late in his career.
Yeah.
Well, he was always, he was such a courageous actor and so adventurous.
And he was always, I mean, he had, his range was incredible.
When you think about it, it was really, really something.
You said in the introduction, by the way, that I was in the original Titanic.
Well, but I didn't want to say Titanic and confuse our audience into thinking that you were in James Cameron's Titanic.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I wish I had been in that.
That would have been a wonderful trip.
That would have been great.
I like yours better.
Well, you know, we made that in 52 or 53.
I guess you guys have got all the numbers there.
But, you know, I thought there was a – wasn't there another Titanic that was made before we made ours?
There's a British one made with David McCallum.
A Night to Remember is one of them.
British cast, yeah.
Yeah, Kenneth Moore, the British actor, and
David McCallum. But I think
that was after you guys. David McCallum
was in that? Yeah. I was in
the 1952.
Yeah, yours was first. Really?
And was Clifton Webb,
he was in the version you were
in? Yeah, with Barbara Stanwyck. Yes.
Well, I was in the version that he was
in, actually.
It was Clifton Webb and Barbara Stanwyck,
Bryna Hearn.
Oh, he had a wonderful cast.
Richard Basick.
Oh, I love him.
Thelma Ritter.
Yeah, there were some really wonderful actors in that.
And it was a great break for me.
It was a wonderful, wonderful time in my life.
And I have to get it out of the way.
Can I call you RJ?
Yes, please.
After that introduction, you can call me anything.
There you go, Gil.
You've made it.
When someone asks me what I did last night, I'll go, RJ stopped over.
We played tennis.
And I'll go, RJ stopped over.
We played tennis.
Now, you knew, well, you knew, you were in the studio system.
Tell us what the studio system was.
Well, at that time, the studio system was, there were all the studios, MGM, Columbia, Warner Brothers, Fox, they all had contract players. That meant that in order to become a contract player, you went, you did an audition.
If they thought you had a potential, they would test you, they'd look at the test,
and then they'd sign you and you. They'd look at the test. And then they'd sign you, and you'd
be under contract to the studio.
So that was how it worked in that time.
When I started, I was 18.
And I made the rounds and went to all of the studios
and did the readings and all of that.
And there was this marvelous dramatic coach
who I am so indebted to by the name of Helena Sorrell,
who said, I think he has something
and I'd like to test him.
And they tested me and Zanuck,
Darryl Zanuck saw the test and he said, I don't know.
And he, she said, well, run it once more
and just look at his smile.
She said, I think he's got something.
I really do.
And as a result of that, they signed me to a six-month contract at $75 a week.
And I was under contract at 20th Century Fox.
And I was there for 12 years.
And it was the most marvelous time for me and for my career.
And I'm totally grateful for that and will always be.
And that's how I got started.
It must break your heart to see what just happened with Fox and the dissolution of the studio.
Isn't that incredible?
What was it, 71 billion?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? That the distribution and the and I mean, it's a tremendous company. I mean, it's great, but it's quite different from when I started. You know, I just don't think of what were called like the young pretty boys stars.
And who were some of the other young pretty boys?
Well, there was Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Tony Curtis.
We were the four that kind of captured that 50s Bobby Sox idols of the fan magazines and all of that.
There's that great picture in your book
of you guys on that ladder,
you and Rock Hudson and Tony Curtis.
Yeah, I was just showing Gilbert.
He knew the picture
before I even showed it to him in the book.
Isn't that a wonderful shot?
You know, we took that over next to a soundstage.
I think we took it at Columbia, as I remember.
And I don't know where Tab was.
I think he was shooting.
But it was supposed to be the four of us.
And it was for Life Magazine.
Great shot, huh?
Oh, it's just classic.
And you guys had a lifelong friendship, you and Tony.
Yes, we did.
We had our ups and downs, but we had a lifelong friendship, and I knew Rock very well, too. And of course, Tab. Tab was a wonderful young man. He was really great. I liked him a lot.
Yeah, he was somebody we wished we'd gotten on this show.
would have been nice you know it was i mean we all shared a period you know that period of time coming up in the 50s and the late 40s that was a quite an quite an interesting time and uh so we
remained friends through all of that and uh they um they all have pieces of my heart believe me
and rock hudson tell us about him well he you know Well, he was a very big star.
I mean, he was, I think, the number one guy of all of us that were starting at that time.
Tony was very big, too.
But Rock really hit pretty well, you know.
And he made a lot of good pictures.
He was in some pretty good films.
Yeah, I love that you and Tony were forever bonded by the, you guys would tease each other.
He'd tease you about Prince Valiant, and you'd tease him about, what was it, Black Shield of
Falworth? If you had this ongoing thing, you'd call each other up and address each other that way?
Yeah, we did. We did that. I'd call up and say, hello, this is the prince.
And he'd know immediately that it was me.
And, you know, the thing that was nice about that,
I didn't have to put the wig on when I was talking to him.
Your friend Paul Newman could have been in that club too with the silver chalice.
Well, yeah, but Paul was all, yeah, he could have been.
My late wife was in that movie.
Did you know that, Natalie?
Oh, yes.
Natalie was in that picture.
A lot of people didn't know that.
That was one he always tried to talk down or live down.
Oh, yeah.
He was not quite too thrilled with that picture.
Yeah, I think.
He didn't like that too much.
I think Paul Newman took out an apology in the papers for the silver.
I think he did.
I love that.
I had the opportunity of working with Paul on a couple of films,
and I had such respect for him and for Joanne.
They were just wonderful.
They did so much for everyone and particularly for our business. I mean, they were just wonderful. They did so much for everyone and particularly for our business.
I mean, they were such contributors to the motion picture industry and both of them gave so much
to our work. And I mean, he was an exceptional guy, exceptional. And she is and she's a wonderful,
wonderful lady. They're very fine people
i just watched the a e biography of your life robert and he he you of course know this he
pays you a very lovely compliment yeah doesn't he yes yeah isn't that nice it's a sweet thing
to have somebody say about you yeah it was very very generous of him and i i liked him so much
we had a lot of fun together and we did some some good work. That Harper was a good part of that.
Yeah, that was a good part, that part of beauty.
That was a good one for me.
And we just lost William Goldman.
Yes, I saw that.
And, God, talking about contributors, whoa.
What a career.
He gave us all a great deal.
Oh, yeah.
Did you ever have him on your show?
We never got him, no.
I think we started this show in 2014,
and I think he was not well.
We have managed to get 250 people,
which we're very proud of,
and some people you've worked with.
I'm sure.
And you were friends with Spencer Tracy.
Yes.
Why can't you tell us about your friendship
with Spencer Tracy?
Do you know, I had an interesting experience happen to me recently, Gilbert. I was
honored at the Lone Pine Film Festival up in Lone Pine, California, where they made a great many
pictures up there from the silence all the way to today. And it's a wonderful little town, and they have this festival every year.
And I was honored, and I was very, very touched that they asked me to be a part of it.
And they ran Broken Lance.
And that was a picture that I did with Spencer Tracy, and that's when I first met him.
That was a picture that I did with Spencer Tracy, and that's when I first met him.
And I was sitting there in the theater looking at the film, and I really, I tell you, what that picture did for me, I, of course, didn't realize it at the time. But my relationship with Spencer Tracy started then, and then I did a picture with him called The Mountain, which Eddie Dimitrick directed, and he had also directed Broken Lance. And that took me to Europe for the first time.
And I was with them, and it put me in just in a whole different category. And I, of course,
didn't realize it at the time, but it took me out of being just another, you know, guy in Hollywood
that was trying to get started and get motivated and get some breaks and get some parts
and be in the movies.
And with that one, I mean, that took me out of that.
And Spence gave me co-star billing in The Mountain.
And my career completely changed with that film.
You played a real SOB in The Mountain, which I just rewatched.
And it also, it changed my life
a great deal. It did. It changed my life a great deal, yeah. It was such a, you know, a wonderful
thing for me to be able to sit there and have that feeling of how that propelled me
forward. And I never thought about it at the time, but God, it did so much for me, and I'm so indebted to Eddie Dimitrick and to Spence.
Spence was wonderful to me and very special.
He was a very special human being, and I loved him.
He was a terrific force in my life.
And I remember growing up, I'd watch like the Jack Benny show,
and he would always, the doorbell would ring and
Spencer Tracy would stop over and whatnot and and then I thought oh when I was a kid I thought oh
everyone knows each other in Hollywood and then everybody's friends yeah yeah and then I thought
it's not the case but with you I it seems like you were friends with, you know, if they were in Hollywood, you were friends with them.
Well, I was very fortunate to meet a great many people in Hollywood, and they were just wonderful to me.
You know, I mean, people were just so great to me.
Did you ever watch the Jack Benny show when I rang the bell? Oh, I don't remember
that. Did you show up on the Jack Benny show? Oh, yeah. Sure, I was on the Jack Benny show.
Yeah, and he was great. He was such a wonderful man. He had, I mean, he was so great to his guests,
and it was thrilling for me to be on his show. It was just so exciting. Yeah.
You know, one of the things in the book that you come away with, Robert, is the serendipity of
things and the coincidence. And, you know, you meeting those guys on the golf course when you
were a caddy, when you were a boy, having no idea, not even be able to imagine that you'd be working
with them one day. So, so amazing. I mean, it's so amazing to me and so fortunate.
I was so lucky to have had that opportunity to meet them.
And they were all wonderful to me.
All of those men that I wrote about in the book that were walking up the fairway at the
Bel Air Country Club, Randolph Scott, Cary Grant.
Yeah, Fred Astaire.
You know, Fred Astaire and you know fred astaire yeah and clark gable yeah you know i mean can you imagine and i you know fred astaire i i played when i did
it takes a thief he played my father he came on the show i mean that was incredible and then my
relationship with carrie grant i mean to know him. And Randolph Scott was great.
And Gable, he lined it up for me to go to MGM for one of those meetings to try to get under contract to the studio and become one of the contract players.
I mean, he did that.
I never worked with Clark Gable, but he was really wonderful to me.
Just such a special man.
And he was the king.
He was great. I came away wondering if your parents hadn't shipped you off. And for our listeners that don't know, you're originally from Michigan, from the Detroit area. And your
parents sent you to Hollywood. They sent you basically away to military school.
Right. And had that not happened, do you think you would have wound up in show business?
Somehow on your own power, on your own steam anyway?
I think that would have happened, yeah.
I really do.
I think I was a bit destined for that, you know?
You were like a bad student, I heard.
I was like a what?
A bad student. Like in school,
you weren't really moving ahead and that's how your parents
Yeah, why did your parents ship you off? Were they trying
to discipline you or? Yeah, I think at that time
that was the thing, you know, in that period of time before the war
and they were trying to discipline me and thought that that could make me a man and all of that.
But I was very rebellious.
I was a very rebellious young guy.
I look back at it now and I think, geez, I mean, I'm amazed that I got to where I got.
But I'm so happy that I did.
And also, see, I had the opportunity. I was scholarship to USC,
and the idea was to go to college
and be an engineer or get a college education
and all of that.
And I chose to go for the movies.
I chose to try to get involved in the picture business because I was crazy about the movies.
Yeah.
And it worked out for me.
What were your favorite kind of movies?
I know you went to the Fox Theater and Westwood and the Bruin.
And Gilbert's passion is those old universal horror classics, the Karloff and the Lugosi pictures and Chaney Jr.
What floated your boat in those days, Robert?
What was your?
Well, I think, you know, Gunga Din was one of the best ones.
Sam Jaffe.
Yeah, and Four Feathers.
Yeah.
Those kind of pictures were what really fascinated me.
And then I loved the noir pictures when they came along.
I wasn't much into those Lugosi films, though, like you were, Gilbert.
You really liked those, didn't you?
Yeah.
He's a horror guy.
I liked the old classic monsters and the really low-budget crap monsters.
Yeah.
I see those pictures often on TCM.
And it's interesting to watch them.
They were fantastic.
But I was never much of a fan of those horror films.
I sort of liked Laurel and Hardy and Chaplin.
I thought Chaplin was just so fantastic.
But I was just overcome with how they did it.
You know, how did they do it?
That's what was fantastic to me.
You knew Harold Lloyd, too, when you were a young man.
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
Harold Lloyd was very helpful to me to get started in the picture business.
He introduced me to a woman agent called Helen Weintraub.
me to a woman agent called Helen Weintraub. And, you know, he, you know, Harold would give these wonderful parties at the house. And I was invited and I was, you know, asked. I knew them. They were
wonderful people. They, you know, he was an amazing force in the motion picture industry, as you well
know. Sure, sure. And, you know, to be around that,
and he'd have all of these people come to these parties who were, you know, legend, legendary
people. Exciting, very exciting. Did you meet or get to know Chaplin and Keaton at any point?
No, I never did. Yeah. I met Buster Keaton, And I met Charlie Chaplin just to shake hands with him.
I was at the Academy Awards.
And he was being honored.
And I had the privilege of being introduced to him.
But I didn't know him personally.
But I did go to school with Sidney, his son.
And we were very good friends.
Sidney and I were very good friends.
And he was a particular guy. Sidney and I were very good friends.
And he was a particular guy.
He was a special guy.
He worked on the show on Heart to Heart once.
He came on and did it.
Boy, everybody did that show.
Yeah, they did.
Wasn't that wonderful?
Yes. What an extended cast.
Sidney was managing Charlie Chaplin.
I think he was at one point.
Well,
I don't know whether
too many people
managed Charlie Chaplin.
You know,
speaking of those
old comedies,
Robert,
I know you're
a Laurel and Hardy fan
and you must have been
a Marx Brothers guy too.
Oh yeah.
I met all of them. You met all the Marx Brothers., too. Oh, yeah. I met all of them.
You met all the Marx Brothers.
Oh, got to hear yourself.
Yeah, I was pretty, I had some great times with Zeppo.
He was wonderful.
I played a lot of golf with him and Chin.
He was a terrific guy.
And I had the opportunity of meeting all of them, yeah.
Can you tell us a quick memory about each one of
them oh my god ha ha gilbert please i could uh sort of end that with the with the line that you
gave me at the opening fuck i was i was watching the Pink Panther last night.
And by the way, is that the only time you ever wore a gorilla suit in the movies?
I think I wore a gorilla suit when I was doing Heart to Heart.
There you go.
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
I don't remember.
The way Blake Edwards stages those set pieces is just masterful.
Oh, he was sensational. Blake was absolutely fantastic. And we were very good friends. I was a friend of his up until the time that he left us. And he was a special human being. And he gave me a
great break in that picture. Great break. I loved it. And I loved working with Peter. They don't
make them like that anymore. No, they don't. and I love Peter Peter was great and of course David I had known and to work with him was really you
know so very special and such a great time that was a real highlight high time and the highlight
of my life I I always heard with Peter Sellers when he wasn't in character, it's almost like he didn't exist.
That he didn't exist?
Well, yeah, like he was one,
like very,
he wouldn't open up to people.
Oh, what they used to say
about Sid Caesar,
that he had to find a character,
that he was very uncomfortable
being himself.
Yeah, I think there's probably
some truth to that.
I loved him. I got along with him great, but I think there's probably some truth to that. I loved him.
I got along with him great.
But I think he was always searching, and when he found those characters, he stayed in them.
But can you imagine anybody else being Clouseau but him?
Oh, my God, yeah.
How did you guys manage to keep a straight face?
Do you know the story about Yusinov, Peter Yusinov?
They wanted Yusinov to play Clouseau.
And Blake always wanted Peter Sellers.
And anyway, Yusinov came down to Rome and had a conversation with Blake.
And they talked about the character of Clouseau,
and he wasn't too happy with the script,
and he wasn't too happy with doing improvisational work,
and he and Blake didn't hit it off.
And Blake got on the phone and called Peter, who he had always wanted,
and Peter came down to Rome, and, oh, I mean, when he grabbed a hold of that character,
I just knew that this was going to be a hit.
You know, it was one of those things you just knew it was going to be extraordinary.
And it was.
You guys look like you're having the time of your lives making that movie.
Oh, yeah, we had a lot of fun.
It was great.
It was a lot of fun.
It was very good work and it was also
the most expensive domestic comedy i think that ever been made and they were interesting concerned
about that can you tell gilbert the greats the great niven story from the book robert about the
ski lift about the ski lift oh you mean you mean coming down the ski lift?
Yes, it's such a great story, and it's right up Gilbert's alley.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you've got to understand that it blew me away. I mean, I was having a very difficult time controlling my urinary tract
because I was dying laughing all the time.
track because I was dying laughing all the time. We came down on the ski lift and we had gone up to the Aguil de Medea. We're up at the top and no, it wasn't the Aguil de Medea. It was another mountain.
We were in Cortina de Ampezzo and the weather changed and the weather moved in and and David and I had worn very thin pants and
had we didn't really have the gear to to go to go up to that altitude and coming
down that started to snow and blizzards and all that and David turned to me and
he said freezing my cock, old boy. Freezing my cock. And I said,
are you sure?
And he said, yes, very sure, fellow.
Very, very sure.
And so we got off the lift.
We got off the lift
and we went immediately to the bar
and we got a couple of brandies
and snifters full of brandy
and we went into the men's room
and he took his unit out and put it into the brandy snifter.
You know, had it in the brandy snifter.
And this man walked in, and he said, good God.
Good God, what are you two doing?
What are you doing?
And Niven said, I always give it a drink now and then, you know.
I always give it a drink now and then, you know.
So, by that time, I was on the floor of the bathroom in hysterics and also peeing in my pants at that time.
I mean, I was weeding out of it.
It was great.
He was a wonderful, wonderful man, and what a sense of humor.
I mean, you can tell by that, can't you?
Oh, God.
Yeah, we're big fans.
Oh, geez.
Oh, he was the best.
Did either of you ever had an opportunity to meet him?
No.
No.
Would have loved to.
He was special.
He was a special, special human being.
And you were good pals with Roddy McDowell.
Love him.
Yes, I was, yeah.
From a very young age.
From a very young age.
I knew him when I was about 14, before I got in the picture business.
I met Elizabeth through him when we were all just kids.
Amazing.
And Roddy was, oh, he was, Roddy was great
and a very courageous actor.
He had a tremendous range and a great human being.
Yeah, we were very close, very close friends.
I have some things in my house that he left me
when he passed away and God, he left us all very too young,
too young he left us.
And I miss him desperately.
He was a very special man in my life.
Everybody that we've had on this show who knew the man
has nothing but lovely things to say about him.
He was a special man, special man,
and very, very generous to everyone.
And when you talk about a film a film buff
and a man who knows pictures
and knows movies
he had a tremendous collection
and he
did you ever have him on your show?
No.
We started in 2014, yeah.
Oh, he was gone.
Yeah, we only started five years ago.
You would have loved him.
You would have loved him. You would have loved him.
He was great.
I'll bet.
Yeah, I'll bet.
The two people that you hear nothing but good things about are Roddy McDowell and Jack Benny.
Yeah.
They love Jack Benny.
Yeah, Jack Benny, he was, as we talked about him, he was so special.
He was great.
What humor, What timing.
Oh, the king of timing.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast right after this.
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Gil and Frank went out to pee.
Now they're back so they can be
on their amazing colossal podcast
kids time to get back to gilbert and frank's amazing colossal podcast so let's go
tell us about uh this is this i found fascinating in the book was was john ford putting you through
your paces as a young actor you know um, Ford was a very, very tough man.
I mean, he was a tough guy.
And he always had one person that he would kind of pick on while he was doing a film,
and I happened to be it on What Price Glory.
And I was working with Jimmy Cagney.
I was 21, 22 years old with Dan Daly and Jimmy Cagney and Kareem Calve.
And, yeah, he got me pretty good.
I came out of a scene with Jimmy Cagney and walked out onto a street.
It was the Bernadette Street at 20th Century Fox.
You guys are all aware of that.
It was the Bernadette Street at 20th Century Fox.
You guys are all aware of that.
And it was all dressed for the First World War and all of that.
I had a pack on and a gun and a helmet and the whole stuff. And there was a lot of extras and people walking around, a lot filled up.
And it was one of my first breaks in the picture business.
And working for John Ford, you can imagine, I was pretty excited.
Of course, a 22.
And he, oh, God.
And he said, cut.
And everything stopped.
And he said, boob.
That's what he called me, boob.
He said, boob, you looked in the camera.
I saw you looking in the camera.
He said, you're not supposed to look in the camera.
I said, I'm sorry, Mr. Ford.
I didn't, I won't do that. It's whatever. He said, you're not supposed to look in the camera. I said, I'm sorry, Mr. Ford, I didn't, I won't do that. I said, whatever. He said, good. And he turned away and then he turned
back and he hit me as hard as you could hit anybody. Wow. And I was knocked down on the
ground with his pack and the gun and the helmet and Jimmy Cagney was there.
And oh my God, and I'm lying on the ground.
If he'd had the camera on me then,
I would have won the Academy Award.
I was so stunned.
And so, I mean, I just didn't know what happened to me.
And I got up and he said,
now go back there and do what I tell you to do and don't look in the camera.
You know, that kind of thing.
And he was on me most of the time
you know but he was a wonderful director god he made some great movies sure did and uh
you know i i just was one of those things and uh i had a tough time with him i talked about him
quite a bit with uh scott iman you Yeah, your co-author. Yeah.
And he's such a knowledgeable man about film,
and he did the book on him.
I talked extensively to him about Sean Ford.
Scott is a wonderful, wonderful writer.
You ought to have him on your show sometime. We ought to.
We will make that happen.
Did he have a touch of the sadist to
him for did he did he bring you back to audition for the searchers do i have that oh yeah you know
about that oh yeah you know that story yeah oh i i um i knew about the searchers i'd read the script
and it was so good and my agent had set up an interview for me to go see him and I went into his office
and he said hello boob how are you I said I'm fine
he's still calling you boob he said oh yeah and I said and you sir and he said
I'm doing just fine he said it's good to see I said well it's wonderful to see
you and I said this script is so wonderful what a what a picture you're
gonna make out of this is gonna be great said, you want to play the part, don't you?
I said, yes, sir.
I said, that's why I'm here.
He said, well, you're not going to.
I'm going to cast somebody else in it.
So there's nothing really more to talk about, is there, boob?
I said, no, sir, Mr. Ford, but it sure is nice to see you.
And I go out the door, and he said, boob.
And I turned around, and for a second I thought, hey, maybe I still can get the part.
Maybe it'll, you know, maybe it's there.
Who knows?
I said, yes, sir, Mr. Ford.
He said, you really want to play the part, don't you?
I said, yes, sir.
He said, well, you're not going to.
Oh, man.
Unbelievable.
And have you ever had that experience when you think that maybe when you want something
so badly or you know about it and you get turned down, but then you think, well, maybe
it'll change.
Oh, sure.
Have you had that experience? Oh, yeah. Boy, I was so eager to say, oh, yes, sir, Mr. Ford.
I'll do whatever you want. I wanted that. And Jeff, my friend Jeff Hunter played it,
and he was so good in it. God, he was great. And it was such a marvelous picture. You've seen that
film. I know you guys have seen it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
It's so special.
It's such a special picture.
Oh, and it's inspired directors for generations to come.
Oh, yes, definitely.
And you were in a fun caper movie
called The Biggest Bundle of Them All.
I like that one.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I like that, too.
The great Edward G. Robinson. We love one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like that, too. The great Edward G. Robbins.
We love him.
Yeah.
I met him young.
I knew his son, Manny.
And kind of before I even got in the picture business, I knew Eddie G.
He was a terrific guy.
And what an actor.
What an actor.
But everybody loved Eddie G.
That picture was directed by Ken Anakin.
And I thought it was going to really get off the ground and go.
But, you know, there was a problem with the script.
The producer, they accused the producer of stealing it.
And because it was so representative of a picture that was made at MGM.
And they went to court, and the biggest bundle of them all lost the case.
So it kind of stopped it.
But there were some good things in that movie I liked a lot.
Oh, yeah, it was a good caper picture.
And, of course, knowing your reputation,
did you get anywhere with Raquel Welch?
What a wonderful thing for you to ask me.
I like that.
You know, I just did a television series that my son-in-law was in, and I played her romantic lead.
And we were back together again,
Raquel and myself.
She's a
really terrific lady, wonderful lady.
We had a great deal of fun
making this television show.
The answer is no, Gilbert.
Damn it!
What were you asking, Gilbert?
What did you think? Did I have
some kind of a
relationship with her that I was doing something to her I mean, what did you think? That I had some kind of a relationship with her?
That I was doing something to her?
Is that what you're asking?
Yes.
Getting back to the early word, did you fuck her?
Did I fuck Raquel Welch?
Yes.
Yes, RJ.
That's what you're asking me?
Yes.
No.
No, we never had an affair.
Damn it.
I wish it had worked out because, you know, on that picture, I mean, that was her second or third movie.
And she was terrific.
She's a very lovely, lovely lady.
And I had a lot of fun with her on this last project.
Do you know Shep Gordon,
Robert? You must know Shep. Yes, I know Shep, yeah. Has he been on? Yeah, he managed Raquel at one point. Yeah, he must have been a great, great interviewer. He was. Obviously, he's tight
with your buddy, Mike Myers. But we had him here, and he's a great storyteller.
The opposite of Ford was the way Fred Zinnemann treated you,
which I found one of the touching things in the book.
Oh, yeah.
Well, wasn't that nice?
Yeah, I mean, it's sweet. It's a wonderful thing.
Well, you know, it was when I was starting, George.
You know, he tested me for this picture called Teresa.
And he was so kind and so generous.
And I was a very green actor.
I'd hardly done anything.
And here I was in front of the camera with Fred Zinnemann directing me.
And he felt, you know, he wanted me for the picture.
And he was so nice.
And I didn't get it, and he wrote me a wonderful
note saying, I really did want you to do this, but MGM felt that to take a chance on such
a young actor like you who hasn't had the experience and all of that and it was so kind of him it was so kind of him and I saw
him in London I was being honored there at the BAFTA thing and and they were running some of
my pictures and he came he came in and I went over to him and I said you know Fred that meant so much
to me he said I remember writing that note to you and I said, you know, Fred, that meant so much to me.
He said, I remember writing that note to you.
And I said, well, I still have the note and it meant a lot to me.
And, you know, it was so nice of him to let me down like that. You know, that was, you know, I didn't, you know, we all get rejected so much in this business and in life, you know.
much in this business and and in life you know and it's very hard sometimes to pick yourself back up after you've been you know so you know excited about doing something and so involved and
and wanting it so much and he knew all of that i had that happen too with with george stevens um
i wanted to play jet rink i'd read that book you know giant and i wanted to i wanted to play Jet Rink. I'd read that book, you know, Giant.
And I wanted to play Jet Rink. And I saw George and I said, you know, I'd really love to be,
I'd love to have a chance to test for that part and be in that picture
because it's going to be great and you'll make it a terrific movie
and all of that.
And he said, you you know you would really be
great you would really be absolutely wonderful I said oh really he said yeah
he said I've made another choice for another actor but he said don't believe
me he said you would you would have been great what a way to put somebody down. That was really nice. Because it's all,
I mean, with all of the interviews you've done and all the people you've talked to,
you got to have luck. You got to have fortune. Yeah, that comes up a lot.
Boy, boy, it's true. It's true because everybody has a lot of ability and a lot of talent.
And if you're there at the right time and the right place and you get a shot at something like that, that's luck.
That's fortune. And I've been very fortunate and very lucky in my career and worked with a lot of great people.
And they meant a great deal to me and they made the difference in my life.
You have all these angels that appear
at various stages of your career
that are helping you along and
showing you kindness, like Claudette Colbert.
Like Gloria Swanson, who ran lines
with you from Sunset Boulevard.
And it's tough.
Oh, you have read the book. Oh yes, twice.
I read it when it came out but it's
and Helena Sorrell too
who you went to
who you stayed with
you stayed in touch with
she was
I think she lived to 104
yeah she lived to 104
out at the motion picture home
and they took her in
and
they
she was there
for the end of her life and she was very well liked out there
and she had a full life and it um it she was wonderful you know she was very special and she
took time to do that look at that i mean that changed my life well i think i think young actors
should read the book too because that you'll see that they'll see that there are turning points, but there are also people who help you along the path.
Oh, yeah.
By all means.
And you certainly had your share.
Oh, yeah.
Luckily.
Luckily.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And tell us about Elizabeth Taylor.
Well, there was a very marvelous, special lady.
And I think she was one of the best screen actresses we've ever had.
I mean, she's just remarkable.
That scene in Giant, do you remember that scene in Giant when Rock comes to that wedding?
She goes back east for the wedding.
Oh, yeah.
And she feels that he's there.
They never speak.
You know, he's at one end of the house, and she's at the other end,
and she doesn't know that he's there.
And, I mean, she's done some wonderful, wonderful pictures.
And she was so wonderful.
I produced a movie with her, and to work with her was one of the biggest joys of my life and I really
I really loved her she was a very special girl I met her when I was 14 and I knew her when she
went through all these different marriages and all of her different careers and all of that
but she was special special special lady you you described her to her. And did a lot.
You described her at one point as being somebody who didn't have a lot of luck health-wise.
That she was, she had a lot of misfortune that way.
Yeah, she had a very difficult time physically.
And she stayed on top of that, you know.
But she had some very, very difficult, very difficult times health-wise and throughout her life. And, you know, she kept going.
She kept it up there.
And, boy, there's no one around like that anymore.
No.
You could say that about a lot of these people whose names are coming up.
And I remember you talked about meeting Michael Jackson.
Oh, yeah.
Well, no, yeah.
Actually, I met Michael Jackson at a party that Elizabeth was at.
Well, I had seen him a couple times before that because I was in the horse business.
And he had some horses on the ranch next to us.
And they'd come out there and go riding and all of that.
But, yeah, he was involved in the wedding of Liza Minnelli.
I think that's what you're talking about, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
Was that the book?
Yeah.
And he was back there, and Elizabeth had left her shoes and they had to go
back to the hotel and get her shoes and Liza and David Guest were going to get married and there
was this big wedding in New York I was with Robert Osborne you're a friend by the way and mine too
we love that man yeah oh he, he was such a special man.
Anyway, yeah, Michael was there with Elizabeth.
And I said, you know, the wedding was being held up.
And I said, you know, Michael, we've got to.
He said, I love Elizabeth.
I said, I love Elizabeth too, but we got to get her inside and in her shoes so we can start the wedding.
You know what I mean, Michael?
You understand that.
He said, yes, I understand.
But he was a very nice guy.
He was a very nice guy.
I liked him a lot.
And what a great talent.
Jesus, what a talent that kid was.
He had a lot of it.
Robert, we jump around as you see,
but I do want to plug and specifically mention this book that you wrote with Scott, the new one from 2016.
I loved her in the movies.
And so many great stories.
And again, how many classic actresses you knew and worked with.
Joan Crawford, we mentioned Claudette Colbert, we mentioned Gloria Swanson, but Norma Shearer, I believe, is the first movie star you ever met.
That's right.
She was.
Do you still have that autographed picture she gave you?
I do.
Yeah, it's in the book, and I still have the picture.
She was, I mean, I didn't know who she was, really.
I was just a kid, you know.
But I knew who she was later, and I had an opportunity of spending some time with her when I started getting in the picture business.
And she was a very dynamic woman.
I mean, she made a lot of great movies and all of that.
I wanted to tell you one thing.
Yeah.
You know, Robert Osborne was a very close and dear friend of mine. We were under contract to Fox together in the early 50s.
And I go back a long time with him.
And as I said, we were very good friends.
And when he left us, he gave me and Jill
a bequeath in his will.
And so Jill and I decided we have kind of a long driveway coming into our house up here
in Colorado. And I was going to put lights, you know, to light the driveway. Sure. And I did it
on a timer, you know, I mean, not a timer, but a, you know, you drive by it it, and what do they call it? A sensor. And the lights go on. So
every time we drive in the driveway at night, the lights go on, and it reminds me of Robert.
Oh, that's sweet. Lovely.
Oh, it's so great. Yeah, he would have liked that. He was one of the most special men that I ever knew.
And what a contributor to our industry and what he's done for it will be remembered always. I like to think that just by himself, he got thousands if not millions of people interested in classic films.
You're absolutely right.
With his passion.
Yeah.
And he did us a big solid, too.
He had just started this show, and he came and did an early episode for us.
Did he?
Came down and got himself down there in his own power, in his own taxi cab, which we were
very grateful to him.
And he invited me on with him to talk movies on Turner Classics.
Oh, yes.
Gilbert was on.
Oh, yeah?
He was one of those people. Yeah.
We picked out movies, and we
just sat in those big, easy
chairs on
Turner Classics and discussed movies
together.
That must have been very nice for you.
You must have loved that, and he must have loved it, too,
because you're so knowledgeable about
them. You know, that's terrific.
Yeah, it was fun.
I felt like I was just sitting at his house discussing it.
Yeah, he was a very—
He was lovely.
Yeah, very special man.
I miss him.
I miss him so much.
No pretentiousness to the man at all.
No.
Just natural and affable and made you feel as if you'd known him your whole life.
Yeah, and was a love, pardon me, and loved the movies.
He was really loved the picture business.
Yeah, it was infectious.
And Frank and I were talking about you had memories of Towering Inferno.
Yeah, you said you liked Irwin Allen, which I loved hearing
because you hear
conflicting things about him.
Frank, did you ever meet him?
I never did.
Did you ever know him?
No.
No.
Big fan of his work.
Yeah, very interesting guy.
He made a lot of
fantastic movies
and he loved
the film business.
He absolutely loved movies. And Towering the film business. He absolutely loved movies.
And Towering Inferno was his baby.
That was his thing.
And, you know, he got, I mean, look at the cast he had.
Of course.
People that, you know, felt so strongly about him and about the film.
And the film was a tremendous success, as you know.
Yes.
Yeah, your friend's in there too, Fred.
Yeah, F.A., the great F.A., he was there.
Well, the Towering Inferno's a movie.
You know, the only accident that almost happened on that film,
it didn't happen.
Oh, yes.
But Fred, you know, they were up on the top floor,
and they were the last ones to be evacuated.
Fred, you know, they were up on the top floor, and they were the last ones to be evacuated. And in the film, Fred was in a – everybody was covered with water.
And they were knocked around and had been – and Fred was – they said they had to change the angle.
And they said, Fred, why don't you step out?
And he said, no, I think I'll stay here.
How long will it take you?
And he said, well, whatever it is, I'm going to stay right here because I don't want to have to rematch this and all.
Because he was meticulous, you know.
He was a perfectionist, Fred Astaire.
So he stayed there for a while.
And then he said, you know, I think I will move out.
And he got up and he moved out.
you know, I think I will move out.
And he got up and he moved out.
And as he moved out,
one of those big 10K lamps broke and fell right where he was sitting,
where he was sitting.
And it crashed there.
I mean, he would have been hurt very badly,
very badly.
That was the only accident that I knew of
that happened on that film.
We like these pictures.
Like, we talk about them, Gil.
The Poseidon Adventure with your pal Roddy
and Towering Inferno.
Movies that...
You're also in Airport 79.
But movies that studios don't make anymore.
With this sort of Grand Hotel feeling about them
with all-star casts.
I wish you hadn't mentioned that Airport 79.
Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! I wish you hadn't mentioned that airport 79.
As Gilbert would say, fuck.
Good cast, though.
Yeah.
You can't fault the cast.
Oh, yeah.
No, it was a good cast and it it worked out okay except uh there were some things in the film that were impossible do you know that they couldn't
happen you couldn't fire a gun in a plane like that you could there were things that were there
was great license taken and uh but it was a great cast and I enjoyed doing it
and
you know
it was a good shot for me
I must say
wasn't the Towering Inferno such a gargantuan production
the two studios had to team up on it
are you talking about financially
I believe it was
and I remember I'll never forget
Newman and McQueen's billing
yes yes
how McQueen went first. Yes, yes.
How McQueen went first, but Newman's was higher.
Yeah.
On the screen.
Yeah, they had that.
And I had heard, and I don't know whether this is true or not,
but I had heard they'd had some financial problems and distribution problems,
and Irwin came in there and picked up and put a lot of money up to save it,
and he owned more of the picture.
I think that's right.
He owned more of the film.
And that's what I had heard had happened, and I think that's true.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast after this.
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Here's something Gilbert enjoyed.
Did Cubby Broccoli, your friend Cubby Broccoli,
ask you to be Bond at one point?
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
That happened.
That is cool.
But, I mean, you know, they were searching a lot.
But my thing with Cubby was that, you know, Cubby, I'm so much an American.
And I think, you know, to have to do it with an accent
and why do you want to go with all of that, you know?
I mean, there's so many people around that can play it.
And Roger Moore is perfect for it.
And Roger and I were very close friends.
And Roger was great in it, you know?
He just slipped into those shoes really easily.
And I think it would have been a little bit difficult to have me say,
hello, how are you?
I'm James Bond.
I don't think people would have believed it.
By the way, speaking of British actors,
and I know you were friendly with James Mason too.
I'm going to wow you here, Robert.
Gilbert, give him a little bit
of your James Mason impression.
I'm ready.
From this point on, here, Robert. Gilbert, give him a little bit of your James Mason impression. I'm ready.
From this point on,
you won't have any recollection of being
Joe Pendleton
or Leo Farnsworth.
It's your destiny,
Joe.
Oh, that's
great. Congratulations.
That's a wonderful impersonation.
I knew you'd like that.
Thank you.
I've done, you know, my wife, Jill St. Sean, is a Bond girl.
That's right.
Diamonds are forever.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I've done that Bond.
James Bond.
You know, I've done that for her.
She says, get out of here.
Go away.
She's not buying it, huh?
I can't do it, you know.
It doesn't work with her.
Now, a friend of ours, Gino, told me a story.
You told him.
I think Jill St. John got into some accident where she had to have a body cast.
Like, yeah, she had some kind of body cast, Jill St. John,
and you liked the way she looked.
I haven't heard this one.
Gilbert, did you dream this?
Go ahead.
Let me hear the rest.
This is a dream Gilbert had, Robert.
She was in a body.
Wait a minute.
She was in a body cast, a minute she was in a body cast and i did what okay according to the
story gino said you sure we got the right actor yeah sure it was rather wagner yes
who is who is gino who is a friend of ours no you were you were complimenting the way her breast
looked in his cast you know i think think Gino is maybe dicking around with himself.
Okay, that goes on the blooper reel, Robert.
Okay, okay.
But since we talked about Bond, I'll use the segue, the spy segue, to talk about It Takes a Thief.
Bond.
James Bond.
See, you could have done it.
When Lou Wasserman came to you and said,
Robert, I think you should do television.
Yeah.
I like that quote in your book where you say,
listen to smart people.
Well, no, he felt... I was mainly doing motion pictures.
And I was under contract to, I had made a contract with Universal, and Lou Wasserman was running Universal.
And I went into his office, and he said, I wanted to talk to you about something.
I said, what's that?
He said, I want to see you in television.
He said, I want to see you in this magazine every week tv guide i said you know lou
i don't know whether i to make a crossover and go into television it doesn't seem right for me
he said to tell you what i'll do i've read this script i know the guy that's written it he wrote
it with you in mind i think it's perfect for you read it and if we make it into a television
pilot and they don't buy it i'll make it into a movie for you read it and if we make it into a television pilot and they don't buy it i'll make it into a movie for you i said okay i said all right if you feel that strongly about it i read
the script i loved it um roland kibbe wrote it and we became we became fast friends and
it was a great character alexander monday and i loved the character and it was a great character, Alexander Monday, and I loved the character
and it's the best character really I've ever had.
You know, I loved it, I loved playing it.
And he said, I think this is the right thing for you.
I made the pilot, ABC saw it, they didn't like it.
I was down in Brazil directing a movie
and I got this cable saying they picked it up and I thought
oh god this is gonna be the end of my career starting a mid-season television
series and you know I was really bad well it was the best thing that ever
happened to me and I'm so grateful that I had enough intelligence to listen to
to Lou who was a very brilliant guy and man,
and he was a very good friend.
He and his wife, Edie, were very good friends of ours,
and I'm surely happy that somewhere in my brain
and somebody there said, listen to this man
because he's got the right thing.
And I listened to him and it changed my whole life.
A smart show that never insulted your intelligence, It Takes a Thief.
Yeah, thank you.
I still think of that Dave Grusin score.
And in Heart to Heart, there was that funny character, Max.
Oh, the great Lionel Stander.
Oh, Lionel, yeah.
Now, he was one of those
that was blacklisted.
Did he ever speak about that?
Yes, he did. He talked about it
quite a bit. Of course, and also I
asked him a lot about it because
it was such a treacherous time
in all of our lives
and a terrible blight
on the United States.
And he was one of those that really got hammered by it.
I, you know, I had worked with Lionel in,
It Takes a Thief.
Yeah.
In Rome.
He did a scene, he did a character called Max.
But when we started casting Heart to Heart, Tom Mankiewicz, who was really the creator of the
show, he said, I think I saw the man to play Max today. And I said, who is that? He said,
Lionel Stander. I had wanted to have Sugar Ray Robinson. I thought Sugar Ray would have been
great. And yeah, it would have been interesting.
But Lionel was absolutely perfect.
He was spot on.
He was the glue of the show.
He was so responsible for making it a success.
And he was great to work with.
I really had great fun with him.
Was there a story, Robert, of you, of Dimitrik?
Was it Dimitrik and Lionel Stander being at the same party or was it Kazan and
Lionel Stander? No, it was
Lionel.
I had
produced a film with Elizabeth
Taylor and myself
called There Must Be a Pony
and I had a running of it.
I ran it at the studio and I took one of the theaters at the studio
and invited several people, and I invited Lionel and Eddie,
and they were there.
Yeah, that was, but, you know, I invited them, and they came.
And, you know, it wasn't anything that I was thinking about.
Sure.
Getting them together or having them there.
It was just one of those things.
Yeah.
Two guys obviously on opposite ends of that situation.
Yes, I would say so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's something I wanted to ask you about.
That wonderful story, if you would share it with us, the Fred Astaire story when you were making It Takes a Thief.
When he walked into the room, you were shooting in a Roman villa,
and the crowd started applauding and chanting his name.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that was terrific.
That really happened.
Yeah, we went out.
We had lunch, and Fred and I took off and went to a trattoria around the corner and we came
back and the crew was all in this ballroom.
And when we walked in, the crew started going, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred.
And he started to do a couple of steps,
and then he danced around the whole ballroom
and finished in about 36 bars.
And I mean, it was just fantastic.
The crew went crazy, I went nuts, and it was sensational.
Fred, Fred, oh, it was great.
You said at the moment in the book that you said to yourself, remember this.
Yeah.
Take a mental picture of it.
That one I never forgot.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That one I've never forgotten.
By the way, on the subject of Tom Mankiewicz, a very gifted guy, and we had Richard Donner here.
And Tom Mankiewicz also had a hell of a lot to do with the success of Superman.
Oh, he did.
Donner's Superman.
As well as Heart to Heart. Donner's a big talent.
He's made some great movies.
He and Tom were very, very close,
and I see Dick once in a while.
As a matter of fact, I just saw him
about two weeks ago, and
you know, he's a special
guy. He's given us all
so much, huh? Lovely guy. A lot of good movies.
Lovely guy. You asked about this show,
by the way, just for fun. We've had six
people on this show who were on It Takes a Thief.
So I did a little research. Oh, yeah?
Who are they? Julie Newmar.
Oh, yeah. Stuart Margolin. He was great.
Oh, yeah.
Love Stuart. Gino Conforti.
George
Ticay.
Frankie Avalon and Jessica Walter
oh yeah
I just
Jessica Walter
and I just did
an NCIS together
she's great
yeah she was a lot of fun
we wound up
we
you'll like this
Gilbert
we wound up
in the bathtub together
Gil he's got your number
oh you know me.
Hello, Gilbert, are you there?
I was in the bathtub.
I'll be thinking about this tonight.
Oy, oy.
All right, she gave me another segue.
This is catnip for him, Robert.
Can you tell him about OK Freddy?
OK Freddy. God, can I tell these stories for him, Robert. Can you tell them about OK Freddy? OK Freddy.
Well, God, can I tell these stories?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, this is just a podcast.
You know about OK Freddy, right?
OK Freddy had one of the biggest units.
He doesn't mean an apartment.
And the way that he got his name was,
people would say,
Freddy, can we see your unit?
And he'd say, okay.
So it was okay, Freddy.
He also used to do a thing
where he'd put it on a plate,
you know, and they'd garnish it.
They'd garnish it,
and he'd go around and serve hors d'oeuvres.
Oh, great. Absolutely great. He'd serve hors d'oeuvres. Oh, great.
Absolutely great.
He'd serve hors d'oeuvres.
People would reach out.
And then they kind of do a double take for a second.
They say, no, that couldn't be.
But it was.
Okay, Freddie.
One favorite person that we discuss on this show all the time in that subject is Milton Berle.
Oh yeah.
Milton Berle. I never saw it.
But he
saw Freddy's.
You know, I think they
took it out and measured once. I'm not
sure about that.
I'll tell you who did see
it was
Sammy Davis Jr. I think
saw it
Sammy Davis Jr.
saw Milton Berle's penis
I think so
I'm not quite
you might check that out
before you put it on the podcast
oh yeah
we'll get our fact checkers on that
I take it as fact
no matter what.
That's too good a story.
Yeah, Milton was notorious.
Tell us a little bit about, before we let you out of here, Robert,
and we'll plug the books again.
Steve, if you ever have Steve Lawrence on your show.
We're trying to get him.
He is absolutely fantastic.
Will you put a word in for us?
One of the most wonderful.
Yeah, sure, I sure will.
He's one of the most fantastic guys I know.
We've been trying to get him.
Great sense of humor.
He'll have you on the floor.
I'm telling you, you'll be finished with him, Gilbert.
He will take you away.
If you get him on the show, have him tell you the story about Milton.
All right.
We've been trying to get him on since we started this show.
We'd love to have Steve Lawrence.
He's great.
Well, when I see him, I'll tell him I did the show with you guys.
Oh, fuck.
We appreciate that.
Robert, before we let you get out of here, you're going to get back to your life.
And as I said, we'll promote the books again.
Just a couple of other names that I wrote down.
People who meant something to you in your life.
Your good pal Robert Stack.
Yes, I was very close to Robert.
We were very, very close friends for quite a long time.
And he was special.
He was a very unique human being, and he did some great work.
I mean, you know, he started young, and he worked with some very heavyweight people, and was oh yeah very good very professional he was a
he was meticulous he was a perfectionist and he was a wonderful man and i i loved him dearly he
was a terrific guy we've had people on the show younger actors who who he was uh he was very
supportive of in fact nancy allen just last week told us some nice things about Robert Stack when they made the Spielberg
movie, 1941.
What about your friend Gregory Peck?
Just give us
a couple of short
remembrances of these.
I admired Gregory Peck
so very much. I admired his thinking.
I admired the way he
conducted himself. He was
always a gentleman.
He was a marvelous actor, a great contributor,
and he was a man that I have tremendous respect for and appreciation,
and he was very kind to me,
and I'd kind of like to have my life be like his.
Wow, what a nice thing to say.
And another great body of work.
I love the fact, too, as I was reading I Loved Her in the movies,
that you took time to call attention to character actresses, too.
I mean, primarily the movie, the book was about people like Claudette Colbert and Barbara Stanwyck,
but you had a little part of the book where you said,
I want to stop now, and I want to give due to character actresses or character actors.
And you mentioned Thelma Ritter and Eve Arden.
And Joan Blondell.
And Joan Blondell.
I thought you were, yeah.
Wonderful.
We like to talk about people like that on the show.
Because they're like so good.
You don't, you don't, people don't notice character actors because they're so good at what they do.
People like James Gleeson.
Can I take these earphones off and go to the John and then I'll come back?
Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
It won't be a long one.
We'll wrap it up.
It's not going to be a long one.
You know what I mean?
It won't be long.
I'll be back.
He's got your number, Bill.
Okay.
We're only going to drive you crazy for about five more minutes, Robert.
I'm back.
I just want you to know that movie stars do go to the bathroom.
I'm giving you a lot of material, aren't I?
You really are. See, you just destroyed my whole image of Hollywood now.
Okay, Gilbert has one for you.
Okay, this is very important.
Tell us about Anita Eckbert.
From the book.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Well, I was very fortunate to meet her.
And she was at RKO.
Well, she had just hit town.
And she was great.
She was a wonderful, wonderful lady.
I really liked her so much.
And I had the chance to take her out when she was first starting.
And it was great.
I mean, you know, she was just a wonderful lady and so beautiful.
Oh, my God.
She was such a beautiful lady.
I think Gilbert was referring to the story from the book
of you running across a lawn.
Oh, well, she was under contract to RKO
and Howard Hughes was involved with her.
And I was with her.
We were together in her apartment
and there was a knock on the door
and it was Howard.
And I got out of there real fast.
I got out through the window.
She was on the ground floor, thank God.
And so I went out the window
and was running down across the lawn,
and I tripped on a sprinkler head.
You know, they had sprinklers in, and I tore up my shoes, fell down.
And it was a pretty exciting time, you know.
It was a very exciting time, and I kept going
because I didn't want to have Howard get me.
You could imagine.
I wanted to ask you too, Robert.
How did you and Jill wind up in that Seinfeld episode?
Were you fans?
It's a classic episode.
Were you guys fans?
You know what?
Well, obviously we're fans.
Yeah.
And obviously we're fans.
We got a call to be on the show, and we said absolutely.
And went over to the studio and got the material and met all the people,
and they were very happy with us, and there I was.
Yada, yada, yada.
It was great.
You wound up in a great episode.
Yeah, the anti-dent type.
Yeah, you anti-dent type bastard.
Yeah, that was really good. They wrote some good stuff for me. Yeah, you anti-dentist bastard. Yeah, that was really good.
They wrote some good stuff for me.
Yeah.
And then they were all great to us, too.
It was wonderful to be on that show.
You know, it was like that show was run like a Rolls Royce.
You know, it was just perfect.
I mean, they had great writers, and the writers would go along,
and the cast was beautiful,
and I mean, come on,
that doesn't happen too often.
Yeah, a lot of lightning in a bottle.
And you knew both Frank and Dean.
I did.
I love that story in your book
about Dean coming to the set of Prince Valiant.
You were in the wig?
No, it was at lunchtime,
and I came down from my dressing room,
and he was sitting there, and I sat next to him,
and he was talking to me,
and we were talking to each other,
and I think what I felt was he thought I was Jane Wyman
because he was making passes.
I said, Gene, settle down, settle down.
He said, oh, it's you.
And what was Frank Sinatra like?
Well, you met him when you were a kid, 24.
Oh, God.
You know, there's been so much ink written about Frank.
I mean, so many books.
And he was so special to me and incorporated me in so many things.
He was the biggest star I really think I've ever been around.
He did it all.
When you look at TCM and you see him in some of those old musicals
and those old black and white pictures at RKO and MGM,
he never stopped working.
Recorded more, I think, than any other artist, I believe.
Isn't that true?
Do you guys know that?
I don't know, but it sounds right.
I think he recorded more songs than any other artist.
And, you know, with his musical career and his nightclub appearances,
and his classic touring around the world for these gigantic concerts.
I mean, he was amazing.
And he was so generous to me and very special.
Very special guy.
Go ahead, Gil.
Oh, did you know Jerry Lewis?
Why would you ask me that?
Because you know everybody.
He's got a Jerry Lewis obsession. I knew Jerry Lewis, and I got to tell you, I was never very much of a Jerry Lewis fan.
There you go, Gil.
I'm just sorry you asked.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Gilbert, to say that to you.
Oh, no, that's fine.
I just never, I didn't get along with Jerry very much.
I thought he was a little bit very, very difficult, very hard on his family,
very hard on everybody that knew him.
And for me, I didn't want to be around that negativity.
He was, so I stepped around him.
You're not the first one who said that.
About him.
I don't know.
I know that he had, there were a lot of people that didn't feel too positive about Jerry.
Very interesting.
This book, Robert, and the end of the book,
the end of Pieces of My Heart is very touching.
The last chapter, which is called The World Moves On,
and you're looking back and you're thinking about all these giants
and all these icons and all these people you took this,
what Frank Copper would call the magic carpet ride with.
And again, I come back to that gratitude that you feel.
Could I, could I, could I, could I, let me just stop you for a second.
Sure.
Because have you read the book about Fay Wray?
Oh, the Robert Riskin book.
Yeah, and Robert Riskin.
No, I haven't read it yet.
It's written by their daughter, Victoria. I haven't
read it yet. It is one of the best books. It's one of the best books I've read. If you have a
chance, read it. I mean, her, the way that she presented this book and her family and how
wonderful they were and her love for them. It's a very special book. Very special book. We'll get
our hands on that. Yeah, Victoria
Riskin wrote it. Well, we should talk
about having Victoria Riskin. You asked me.
I was just saying about, you know, you're looking
back in the last chapter, and again,
we really have to recommend this book to people,
but you're talking about all the people that are
gone, all the people that you
came up with, the friends
that you've lost over the years,
and, you know, the words you use is
blessed. It's very touching to read. You know, I was so moved by the time I got to the end of the
book and Scott and I were talking about it. And I've just been so fortunate in my life to have met some of these wonderful, wonderful people who were just so great to me.
And I feel that for me and my life, at this time in my life, I have been blessed.
I've been touched by something.
touched and by something I don't know what but I'm very blessed to have had the opportunity and and the the life that I've had to be able to be in proximity and to do something that I always
wanted to do and have that happen for me and it's been very good to me it's put my
children through school and and uh you, my family has been very successful.
You know, I mean, they're doing pretty well.
And I'm fortunate and I'm blessed.
And I meant what I wrote in the book.
Yes, it's very moving.
Scott and I, thank you very much.
Well, Scott and I spent a lot of time together,
and I admire him so much.
He's such a wonderful writer.
And I just, you know, it was a book of love,
and he helped me so much get through it.
And I liked the last part, too.
I'm glad you liked it.
Yeah, and it's almost, looking at the whole journey,
it's almost from the moment you were on that golf course and you saw those four guys walking toward you and you said, that's the world that I want to inhabit.
And it's almost as if you willed it to happen.
That you created this reality for yourself.
It's fascinating.
I can only leave you with one thing.
I'm blessed.
Lovely.
You got another book in you, Robert, or is this it?
I know you don't want to retire.
I don't know whether we've been talking about doing another book, but I'm not quite sure of what it's going to be.
It might be something like All My Heroes Are Gone.
It might be something like that. my heroes are gone it might be something like that you know
i i don't know yet i was gonna do it about my love affair with uh barbara stanwick that's
something we didn't even get to i didn't want to well i i just don't want to give that up that's
that's something i have in my in my heart and i'm going to keep it there sure well if you ask nicely
i think gilbert would be willing to write a foreword for you
for the next book.
Gilbert?
Well, if Gilbert would write a foreword
like the introduction he gave me,
he's definitely on.
The foreword would be,
oh, fuck, Robert Wagner.
I love that.
Robert, this is a genuine thrill for us.
Our audio is gone.
Oh, fuck.
Let's plug the books again.
Robert Wagner.
How does Scott say his name?
Iman or Eamon?
Iman.
Scott Iman.
Scott Iman. Scott Iman.
Pieces of My Heart, A Life.
The other book is called You Must Remember This.
And the most recent one, I Loved Her in the Movies,
Memories of Hollywood's Legendary Actresses.
And we will say to our listeners, get your hands on these books.
Because the people who listen to this show love what we love.
They're obsessed
robert yeah they will correct us if we make a mistake they write to us on twitter how dare you
say that was broderick crawford it was actually edward arnold they they will probably correct you
on your career that's how much they know i'm i'm sure i want to thank both of you for having me on your show i i really
appreciate it i i heard so much about both of you and uh i heard that this was that your podcasts
were were so positive and so wonderful and uh i appreciate it you guys were great to me i had a
good time being with you and i wish you the best oh you're so kind very bad i hope you'll come back
and play with us another time, Robert.
Okay.
I'd love to.
This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.
And we have been talking to my pal, Archie,
the great Robert Wagner.
And all I can say is, oh, fuck.
Robert, it was an honor.
Robert, can I bother you to hear an oh, fuck from you one more time?
Oh, fuck.
Nobody says that like Robin Wagner.
Let me get this straight.
You want me to steal? I'm going to go. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, and John Bradley-Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach.
Special thanks to John Fodiatis, John Murray, and Paul Rayburn.