Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 37. Chuck McCann

Episode Date: February 6, 2015

As a young boy growing up in Queens, New York, Chuck McCann worshipped stars like Stan Laurel, Buster Keaton and Groucho Marx, and within a few years, he would find himself befriending (or working with) all of them. Gilbert and Frank phoned Chuck (one of THEIR childhood heroes) to talk about his unusual and unlikely journey from obsessed fan to celebrated screen, stage and voice performer and beloved kiddie show host. Also: Chuck hitches a ride on Hugh Hefner's jet, inspires Billy Crystal, writes a part for John Carradine and co-stars in a legendary TV flop. Plus: Hal Roach! Tim Conway! Lionel Barrymore! Chuck and Groucho hawk deodorant! Mae West "works" the docks! And Chuck asks Gilbert for a lollipop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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for the love of God. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre. You know, when I was a kid, I used to come home from school and watch the kid shows like Soupy Sales, Sandy Becker, Officer Joe Bolton, and of course, the wonderful Chuck McCann. Frank and I gave Chuck a call to talk about those old days, his work in TV commercials, and his friendships with legends like Mae West, Groucho Marx, Buster Keaton, and Stan Laurel. So enjoy our conversation with one of the people who shaped my childhood, the great Chuck McCann. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and this week's guest is a true renaissance man. He's an actor, comedian, voiceover artist, puppeteer, and kid show host. In a career spanning seven decades, he's worked with Steve Allen, Dick Van Dyke, Alan Arkin, Bob Newhart, John Carradine, Hanna-Barbera, and Rodney Dangerfield. And the list goes on. He's voiced iconic TV characters, starred in hundreds of commercials, and appeared in movies like Foul Play, Robin Hood, Men in Tights, and The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. Please welcome to the show a man of many talents the legendary chuck mccann oh boy Gilbert, my buddy.

Where are you, in New York? Yes. We're in Chelsea. Oh, God. We're 3,000 miles away. I just want to give you a big hug. Oh, okay. Here it comes, Gilbert.

There you go. Oh, man. I love you. Frank, how are you, babe? Chuck, good to talk to you, buddy. Oh, it's good to talk to anybody. Tell us, you're from right here. You're from Brooklyn and Queens area?

I was born in Brooklyn. What part? I was born at St. Bethany Deepness Hospital and wherever that was. Anyway, I then moved to my father moved to MassPath, Long Island, which was in Queens, but not

far from Brooklyn. It was just over the thing. And my grandmother lived there. And that was Ridgewood, Queens, Nazpeth. Sure, I'm from Ozone Park. You know where that is, sir? Yes, I know it very well.

I had lots of family there. Frank and I were talking when we were putting this together that both of us grew up watching you on you on tv oh that's so sweet man well i grew up on tv you know but i was at the studio i started my father was at the roxy theater which was a big movie presentation house a lot of people don't know what that is, a presentation house. But in those days, we had great theater.

We had colossal movie theaters like the Radio City Music Hall, which still has their stage show. And that's the only one that survived. And that only survived because there was a law that you couldn't tear it down. First of all, if you'll notice, Radio City Music Hall doesn't have a building over it. And the reason that the theaters were all torn down, I believe,

I believe, was the fact that movie theaters had flammable film in the original, you know, when they first were created, and they didn't want to have big office buildings over something that could catch fire. That's interesting. Yeah. Never heard that theory. They weren't allowed to build over these theaters. Theaters went down, like the Capitol and the Paramount and all those wonderful theaters in New York that had shows. Every one of them had big presentation shows.

So you would go in there for a buck and a quarter or $1.20. That was the top adult price. Kids would go in there for 50 cents. Wow. And you would see a movie, first-class movie, a cartoon, a newsreel, and a stage show. Now, the Paramount, am I talking too much? No, no, this is good stuff. No, no, I fell asleep a while ago.

Shake them every once in a while, will you, Frank? Oh, God. Oh, anyway. So you were performing in those theaters at a very young age, didn't you? The age of seven. Yeah. Well, my dad was the arranger, a musical arranger at the Roxy. Your dad was Val McCann.

Right. And he was a musician and an arranger, and he conducted a lot of music with different bands and stuff. And he also played violin and trombone and piano and anything else he picked up. He was an all-around professional musician. Do you remember the first time you got up on stage and what you did? Yes, I do. on stage and what you did.

Yes, I do. One of the first memories of getting up on stage in front of a full audience was in grammar school. And I was in around, I was probably in the fifth grade or, you know, like midway. And I got up and Arthur Godfrey

was very popular at that time. And I did an, and Arthur Godfrey was very popular at that time. And I did an impression of Arthur Godfrey. At the age of six. Well, you know, we talked about Arthur Godfrey on other episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually. Now, you got to meet a bunch of your heroes. I mean, not only Arthur Godfrey, but you befriended Buster Keaton, and of course, the

great Stan Laurel. Absolutely. Yeah. but you befriended Buster Keaton and, of course, the great Stan Laurel. Absolutely, yeah. Buster was, in fact, I'm sitting in my living room looking at the chair that Buster sat in on many, many a movie, and it was his director's chair. It's signed by him, and it's got his name on the back. It's in my living room under a beautiful silent camera. I have a little homage to Buster.

This is something that struck me odd with Buster Keaton films, is everyone knows he directed them, but yet they have other directors listed. Well, because a lot of times he directed all of his business. All of the tremendous falls and stuff like that had to be worked out and only worked out by him. He would take these tremendous falls and leaps across things. He was a very athletic guy, but raised as a vaudeville performer by his family. And he was called the human broom when he was a kid.

His suit had sewn in the back by the collar. A handle was sewn into the suit so that his father could pick him up, swing him around, and throw him out into the audience. pick him up, swing him around, and throw him out into the audience. Now, oftentimes he'd land in the orchestra pit. And some of those were pretty

deep. But he would hang on to the railings and stuff like that. But he was... He said to me one day I... We were doing a show together. I think it was Gary Moore. And... Am I we were doing a show together I think it was Gary Moore and am I talking too much?

Not at all Chuck. When you say hello it's talking too much. Oh. How well I know. Oh God. Gilbert my love. Oh, God. Gilbert, my love. Oh, I miss you, man. Are you friendly at all with the actor James Caron, Chuck?

Because he was a lifelong friend of Buster Keaton's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Jimmy Caron. We had him on the show. He told us a great... And James Caron we talked about, but if you can mention it, too, where he got the name Buster from. You know, I don't know that story.

Joe, I've forgotten it momentarily. Harry Houdini was working. Oh, okay. He said you should call that kid Buster. Oh, that's great. I didn't know that. You know, Gilbert, why did they call him Buster?

Because he threw him around a lot. Yeah, he got busted up. Oh, I see. Yeah. He told me one day, we're on a show. Can I tell you this little story? No. Okay.

I should never ask Gilbert anything. Hey, Gilbert, can I have a lollipop? No, I'm sorry. Did you eat them all again? Anyway, so I looked at Buster, and we were doing this sketch. I think it was Gary Marshall. And he was supposed to go with a pizza. He was making pizza.

And he was going to fly through the oven. He had this oven cut out. And during rehearsal, he would do it several times, you know, and sliding onto a table. He would do it several times, you know, and sliding onto a table. And he had a ribbon that was being held to represent the oven door. And so he would go do the sketch to bake the pizza and all of the bits that went before. And then he would take it and put it on the pizza tray and run from one end of the stage to the other and then fly through this little teeny pizza oven door.

And there was a table on the other side that he would slide through with it. Well, one day on the dress rehearsal, he misses it. He got so upset. What happened when he hit the table wrong, I know he did because I could see it vibrate. I never did that before. I went out into the audience and he was bending over and i looked down and he this skin on his leg on both legs were were actually actually folded down over the bone and he was putting a ace bandage wrapping it around to keep the skin up. Wow.

And I mean, it was really horrendous looking. And I said, let me get the nurse. And he grabbed me, and I could still feel his hand, his grip was like unbelievable. And he said, hey, Chuck, sit down, sit down. He said, if you go back there and tell them that I've hurt myself doing that, he said, the producers will take this right out of the sketch, right out of the show. And he said, don't you dare. He said, just remember that.

They do that. So I said, okay. And he he said don't you dare he said just remember that they do that so i said okay and he said don't worry next time i'll i'll clear it and uh i know what i did wrong and uh he got up and on the air i was watching it and i was standing backstage and he comes flying across through the opening and i'm at the other end of the table and he comes flying across through the opening, and I'm at the other end of the table. And he comes through, sliding, turns around, and he jumps off the table. And he said, now that's how you do it. I mean, he was just unbelievable. Just one of the great performers of all time.

Comedy-wise and side-wise, you know. When I get a cold, I cancel all my jobs. I know. You look at those old films and you look at it. What is the one where the house falls on him and he's standing? Is it One Week? Yeah. And it's miraculous.

I mean, Harold Lloyd was impressive doing those kinds of stunts in his own right. But the things that Keaton worked out, you watch Sherlock Jr. in some of those films, you can't believe the choreography and the planning that went into them. He really was a genius. He was. And, you know, they all worked out. I mean, they weren't just accidental.

I mean, he would rehearse for days on different things. Was Buster Keaton angry toward the last years of his life or bitter? Well, I don't think so. People have said that. I'd never seen any angry anger

in him. I saw a disappointment in him. I saw when comedy kind of went to hell in a handbasket and when television came in that they didn't use it more. I saw a lot of disappointment in him. His wife was so wonderful. I mean, she kept everything going. I have his hat.

You know, Eleanor, his wife, used to make all of his hats. And so she would take a fedora and then cut it down, and that's how he flattened the brim and made the pork pie hat. That's great. You know, you're our second guest to own one of Buster Keaton's hats. James Caron is the other. I am quite sure, Gilbert, your next guest will be Buster with a hat for you. Now, what was his feelings about everyone always compares and has arguments,

oh, Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin, which is a crazy argument. Two totally different animals. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But they feel like if they like Buster Keaton, they're supposed to hate Chaplin. No, no, no. It's totally different. And like Stan, you know, Stan Laurel was Charlie's best friend over in England, and they came over together with Fred Carno.

There was a producer named Fred Carno that brought a lot of them over here. Buster, of course, was here. a lot of them over here. Buster, of course, was here, but Laurel and Charlie Chaplin and all of the foreign comedians that came over to work in films, I mean, they came over together and they worked together, you know,

and it was hard for them because they were in a, you know, comed it was hard for them because they were in a, you know, comedians didn't make a lot of money in burlesque and their theater or musical, what they called musical. And so when they came over here, it was very difficult for them. In fact, Charlie Chaplin, when they came over, they took their shoes and left them outside. Oh, you know the story. Oh, yes. It's a great story.

It's a great story. In England, what you did was you took your shoes and left them outside if you were at a hotel. And then at night, the people come down and collect the shoes and shine them for you. So when you got up in the morning, you had to shine a pair of shoes. That was hotel courtesy. Of course, when they first moved here, and they didn't do that here, of course, and they were in this cheap hotel, and they went outside to get their shoes, and they were gone, of course, stolen.

So they had to walk around town, Manhattan, in his bedroom slippers all the time. And he said, my bedroom slippers had a little turned up thing with a bell on it. Like a little, you know, you know. Oh, yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looked like a Sultan shoe, you know. Like a genie shoe. He said, people kept staring at me, you know.

He looked like a lion. Yeah, yeah. Better to wear my bare feet, you know. But they, He looked like a shame. Oh, so many. Well, how did you first get to know Stan Laurel, Chuck? I mean, it's a great story. Wasn't he in the phone book, Stan Laurel, famously? Yeah, well, that's what happened.

See, so I just picked up the information operator, and I said, I was about 11 years old, and I said, in California, do you have a Mr. Stan Laurel? Now, I asked my mother permission if I could find out, and the operator said, no, we have a, where, what part of California is he in? So finally, I said, Hollywood. So she looked all through Hollywood, and there was no Stan Laurel. But she said, let me look further for you. Because she heard that I was young and she wanted to help me. And she was the kindest lady.

So she finally found Stan Laurel. She said, there's a Stan Laurel in Santa Monica, California. So I said, well, could you get that for me? And then she put me through, and Stan picked up the phone. And he said, first it was the hotel operator that picked up the phone. And I said, do you have a Stan Laurel? She said, Mr. Laurel, wait one moment, please. And then she put me through

because it was an apartment hotel and they had a main operator down in the lobby. So Stan picks up the phone. He goes, hello? I said, hi, Mr. Laurel. He said, yes, hello. I said, my name is Chuck McCann. I'm in New York, and I just wanted to speak with you.

Is your mother there? I said, Yes. So I put my mother on the phone, and Stan said, Is it all right that I talk to him? Because it's a very expensive call. And she said, Oh, no, I said he could call you. And he said, oh, well, that's all right then. He said, put the lad down.

And we talked for about five minutes, three minutes, you know, and he said, well, you know, you're going to get charged again. So he said, let me speak to your mother. He wanted to speak to my mother more than he did me. You know, she said, oh, no, no, he can talk. So I didn't want to bother him, you know, but I was so young. It didn't matter. I had no idea.

But we talked. We talked. And then he said, you know, you can call again. And I called him all throughout my youth and was very, very friendly with him. And then we started writing together and so forth and so on. And then I met this guy down the block. This is much later. He married this Prouche.

And I'm putting together my shows. I've done shows on NBC and CBS and everything. And now I'm putting together this Laurel and Hardy show for PIX. And I walk down, and this guy I've been talking to all my life not really but just hello and goodbye this guy down the block I walk into his house

and he's got the same photographs on his wall that I have all the Laurel and Hardy pictures and I said you like Laurel and Hardy film pictures. And I said, you like Laurel and Hardy?

He says, well, I speak to him. I said, are you kidding? Here it was three doors down from me. Al Kilgore was on the phone probably after I hung up people. So you were two of you. Three doors away. You talk about coincidence. That's great.

Now, I also heard that Stan Laurel was like one of the nicest people. You have no idea. You have no idea. You know, when you hear about your actor friends, you say, jeez, you know, you almost hate to meet them because you never know what they're like. You know, they can be terrors. And that was a lesson that I learned very early. That's why I'm sorry I ever met you. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. But that's so true. I'm a rotten person. I really am. I nail all my young people to the cross, actually. I nail all my young people to the cross, actually. I do juvenile executions. I strap them in chairs with batteries up the back. I like to see kids levitate.

You know what I mean? Hey, you work with kids all your life. After a while, they know they're wonderful, man. I tell you, it's so much. They know more than we do at that age because they're wide open. Their minds are wide open. What was Stan Laurel's relationship with Oliver Hardy? Stan Laurel's relationship with Oliver Hardy were,

good night, Mr. Laurel, good night, Mr. Hardy. They were put together by, actually by the studio, Roach, who didn't give a damn about anything, really. He just wanted the studio to work and everything to work,

but he couldn't care if they were together or not. In fact, after Stan's contract ran out, Stan left the studio and he teamed Hardy up with, oh God, he did a movie called Zenobia, and he teamed him up with another character actor, thinking that he'd create another Laurel and Hardy. And it was awful. And finally, Stan came back under his own banner,

and they did Flying Deuces, which was a film that was produced by, actually by Stan and the gang. But he was not, he was a businessman, Roach, and a wonderful man. I know him well. I was practically at his deathbed. And a great guy.

But he was a businessman. And he would put these comedians together. He was a producer. He made movies. So Stan and Ollie, aside from their working relationship, they weren't close pals? No, not in the beginning. Did they become? Not at all. It was hello, Mr. Laurel, hello, Mr. Hardy, and that was the end of it.

Did they ever become friends? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. You know when? When? World War II. When they went on the Bond Drive tours. And then they really became close.

I mean, their wives were close. Ida and Lois were very close. Because, you know how women are, and you're on the tour. So they got close. Actually, they got closer than the guys got, you know, because there was a little Jimmy, a buddy of theirs, and he used to tour with them, too. He was their dresser, and he would manage all the costumes and clothes on the tour. And so they got to, you know, be friendly, but they weren't like, you know, it was a business.

And it's like Jim McGeorge and I. I mean, I love Jim. Jim and I do a lot of work together, have been doing it. But I don't see him from job to job, you know. In fact, I haven't seen Jim now in over a year, a year and a half. People have the idea that when you do a team with somebody, you're with each other all the time.

You're not. We should explain that Jim plays Stan Laurel to your Oliver Hardy. Yes, correct. He's a wonderful, wonderful human being and a very talented guy. Jumping from Laurel and Hardy very comfortably in a Segway to the Playboy Mansion. That's a Segway. You are the best Segway guy I know. You are a good segue person.

Oh, God. Now, you were a regular, or I guess maybe still are, at the Playboy Mansion. Yes. I lived for 40 freaking years. I'd be up there. To every guy listening to this is probably going, oh, man, that lucky bastard. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In season three, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade,

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So what's the Playboy Mansion like to hang out? No, no, it's wonderful. You've got to understand how I wound up there. I mean, I was performing during my one-act show with the puppets, with Paul, at a place called the Puppeteek. And in comes this guy, and he's sitting there, and people say, don't you know that it's you, Hefner? He owns Playboy magazine.

I said, oh, great. So I said, maybe you'd like to watch the show from behind the... They said, oh, God, he'd love to. So they sat them behind me, and they watched me puppeteer from behind, you know, and saw how to do it. After they saw the show, the second show they saw from behind backstage. And he loved that. And he said, hey, listen, I'm opening up a nightclub, a new hotel in New Jersey.

Would you like to come to the opening?î So I said, ìIíd be happy to. When is it?î He said, ìThis week.î So I went, and I was leaving to doÖ The Projectionist had just come out, I was leaving to do, the projectionist had just come out, and I was leaving to do the projectionist interview with Kupfstead in Chicago. And he does, you know, he's a columnist and did radio interviews and so forth. And I'm promoting the movie.

So he said, how are you going? I said, I'm going on United Airlines. He said, no, no, no. He said, please, take my plane. And we're leaving tomorrow, same time you are. So I go out to LaGuardia Field, and I said, what airplane is Mr.afda going back to Chicago on? He said, his own. I said, his own? And he said, yeah. He said, do you truck with him? I said, yeah. He said, it's right out there.

And there's this black mammoth airplane. It was like a DC-3. I know it was a jet, you know, but it was one of the latest jet planes, all black with the bunny insignia on the tail. So he said, you know, they'll be along shortly, so why don't you just walk out on the tarmac and board it? I can board it. So I go out, and they make a phone call, and down the stairway come these two gorgeous stewardesses in these short little miniskirts with a bottle of champagne and a glass.

And up I go, and in the place, and they're playing videos on the video. They had a dance spot where people could dance on the airplane. It was incredible, and it was gorgeous inside. You know, all

fixed up with the seats were just couches and seats. It was gorgeous. And so, all of a sudden I'm looking. I said, gee, we should be leaving. So I sat there for about an hour with the stewardess. She says, oh, here they come. And down comes two big helicopters.

And they let everybody out. Everybody gets out. And I didn't know. Two big black limousines come in from New York. And everybody gets out. They all jump on the plane. As soon as they're on the plane, Hefner comes over to me and sits down across from me. And the doors close.

It turns, and we're going down the runway, and we're off. I mean, it was like the king has landed, you know. No one else. I mean, that's a busy airport LaGuardia, you know. Now tell us get right to the orgies that went on at the Playboy

match. No, the org guys they called them. So these were gay orgies? No, they were the org guys. All the guys would show up. The girl said, are you kidding? You know, so... No, actually, you know what? A lot of people think that that's what goes on.

And I hate to disappoint everybody, but that's a private thing that he's always kept... You know, he's very discriminant now I'm not saying that you don't see a lot of nude people like if you're in the pool you know everybody swam naked in the pool but that was that was about the extent of hoping I'm hoping you didn't swim naked no are you Are you kidding? Are you serious? I wouldn't be caught dead, Nick. I'm telling you, my bathing suit was one of the ones they wore in 1812. The old one with the stripes.

It covered my toes. So can you please tell us about a blowjob you got at the Playboy match? Yeah. As soon as you would get out of the pool, this fan would dry you, see? It was a big, big motorized. Oh, man. I'm telling you. The girls were incredible, man.

It's just unbelievable. It's a strange journey, isn't it, Chuck, from doing a puppet show in a club and suddenly you're on the Playboy jet? Oh, yeah. Well, it was wonderful. I mean, Hefner, Hugh Hefner is one of the sweetest guys in the world, man. He is so giving and so loving. He's really a wonderful, wonderful person. I love him a lot. Now, another very comfortable segue.

Okay. After the success of Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, produced by George Slaughter, you, George Slaughter, decided to make another revolutionary-style comedy. Oh, you rat. Oh, you dirty rat. You know where he's going, don't you? The bomb of the century.

Go ahead. Called Turn On. Who could forget it? Tell us about the monumental Turn On. Well, you know why, don't you? It wasn't about the show. If you want to see that show, I believe you can go to the Museum of Broadcasting, and they have a copy there that they'll run for you.

We have to go. Oh, yes. You have to go, okay? I don't know if they have it in new york i know they they i think they do but they had a uh it was called turn on and it was on one night and we were canceled in the middle of the show it's the only show that got turned off in the middle of the show. So it was like a few minutes into the show, it was so bad that they canceled it. In certain states, okay?

Now, this is why it happened. We did things on that show that were never done before. Here, Slaughter has a show called laughing right yeah which is which is on the edge anyway it's got some really uh edgy kind of sketches as you know yes now when turn on came on he wanted to go a little further okay Okay? So we had sketches like, I forget her name, she was dressed up as a nun trying to get her change

out of a phone booth. Teresa Graves? It wasn't Teresa Graves, no. Teresa was quite a beautiful blonde. No, this was a very funny comedian. But anyway, here's this nun

crawling all over the top of a telephone booth in a nun's outfit, you know? I mean, the Catholic Church really frowned on a lot of the stuff that we did, and so did every other religion, you know? I mean, we, I mean, every, you know, from Catholic Church and Protestant Church and Jewish synagogues, I mean, we made fun of everything and everybody, every woman, everything. You know, it was just, it was an incredible show. It was an incredible show.

The guy that was on it was my friend Tim Conley. Tim did the original show, too, with me and a host of others. I believe Albert Brooks was the writer on that show. Albert was the writer and eventually wound up doing some of the bits as Albert would, you know. And we were actually at Hamilton Camp. God bless Hamilton. Oh, sure. Remember Hamilton Camp? Oh, God, what a sensational performer he was. And I loved him. Anyway, he was in Second City in Chicago. So anyway, we wound up getting canceled right in the middle of the show. And I mean canceled. It was like they turned us off in Chicago.

This little old lady kept calling. I swear to God. kept calling. I swear to God. A little old lady in like Des Moines or someplace watching the show was so offended by the nun

crawling over the top of a phone booth. She gets on her phone and she starts calling her fraternities and they all get on the phone and call the next one. And it was like wildfire going from the middle of the country across to New York and over to California. It was like, Schroeder got so many phone calls and stations and networks, people, the local stations, of course, because the show was being syndicated.

Then they were turning it off. It all aired at the same time, but each station had their own tapes. So they turned everything off, and that was the end of it. Chuck, I heard a story that the show was on ABC in 1969, Turn On. That's right. It aired one time. Now, I heard a story that ABC was so spooked by the experience and the angry calls and the angry mail that they got that they rejected a controversial, edgy pilot that wound up going to CBS. It turned out to be all in the family. That's true. That's true.

I mean, in those days, you know, there was no – they were very careful in what they were doing. But not so much with us. But after we finished, it was like, oh, boy. I mean, you know what hit the fan. Yeah. And that was the beginning of real criticism and real. But CBS has you guys to thank for all in the family indirectly. Oh, yeah. Yeah, indirectly, yes.

That's right. That's right. I never thought of it that way. Damn it. I never did that show. Crap. Now, you were in the very popular Right Guard deodorant commercials. Oh, now we're getting into commercials.

Yeah. Let's stay on. No, no. I jump back and forth. okay he moves around i'm only kidding and you are you serious that commercial bought my house the commercials were a guy would open his medicine cabinet. Correct. And on the other side was a guy, like, sharing his medicine cabinet. Bill Fiore. Yeah, the little Fiore. Like they forgot to put a wall in between the two. Yes, yes, between the apartments.

Yeah. Now, you did one with the great Groucho Marx. That's correct. And did you get to know Groucho at all? Very well. Very well. Very well. I'll tell you all about that. Actually, the commercials ran for three years, that one particular commercial.

It was for Right Guard, right? Yes, with Bill Fiore. Bill Fiore was the other guy on the other side. I remember him. He was a great actor. Very, very nice guy. Very talented kid. And a good friend.

Anyway, so after that ended, then they said, well, you know, the commercial ran for 12 years. So off and on. With different people in it and everything else. But that was always me on the other side. We went to Canada, became very big in Canada. So we went, in those days we would shoot the Canadians separate.

So I'd be flying around doing every different commercial. You know, it'd be like that. I was like that girl that does these car commercials now where she's in the white outfit. Oh, the insurance. Right, flow insurance. Right.

I was the flow of the day, you know, of that time. And so it's good in one way and terrible in the other, because it wrecks your movie career, everything else. You know, because you're now the guy in the medicine cabinet. And I'll never forget, I went into a movie theater to sit in the back to see, it might have been Heart is a Lonely Hunter. And out I come in that first scene, and out from the audience, as soon as I appear, the whole audience got up and said, hi, guys! And the heart of the Lonely Hunter is...

That's always good when you're putting a knife in someone's chest, you know. What do you say? Here comes the villain now, you know. Hi, guy! So tell us about Groucho. Okay. All right. I get my buddy is producing,

and by this time, he's now my friend. We've done a whole bunch of these things. And they want to put somebody on the other side that's kind of a star. So I get to the studio, and who the hell did they get but Groucho Marx? And, I mean, that's like Oliver Hardy. That's like Stan Laurel.

That's like Charlie Chaplin, you know? It's Groucho Marx, man. And I open up the Madison cabinet, and he does a high guy and all of this. And there he is in his undershirt. You know, and he was so funny, and we just ad-libbed, and we finished the commercial by about, we started at like 8, maybe 9, and we were through by 10.30. It's like unbelievable. I mean, we just, boom, we did it like bang, bang, bang.

And each one of them was great. So Groucho, they released us for lunch. They said, okay, that's a wrap. And the next thing Groucho said, where are you going for lunch. You know, they said, okay, that's a wrap. And the next thing Groucho said, where are you going for lunch, McCann? I said,

wherever you have, wherever you want to go. So he said, great. I said, I know a great place called Christo's

and it was right across the street from my office. So it was a great, great restaurant. And they had great food. They had chicken Kiev and stuff that he loved.

And so we went over there and we sat there and we were just talking. All I did was talk with him. I mean, over and over. Zeppo and Harpo and all these stories. And I mean, just incredible, incredible for me. And I'm with him, and I said,

I said, day at the races. And he says, oh, that's great. Let me tell you about that. He says, you know, Grimbeck, day at the races. Are you kidding? I said, I live across the street, and I have a, I don't live across, I said, my office is across the street, and I have a screening room there,

and I have a print of Day at the Races. He says, what? I said, I have a print of a lot of your work. So I had 16 millimeter prints of just about everything they did Al Kilgore and I and then I just yelled he said come on we're going over to watch Day of the Raid and then we watched

that and then we watched you know at the circuit it went on and on and on and on until about, the phone was ringing off the hook. Now we started about two o'clock,

I guess, watching his films. It was now like quarter to ten. And it's his nurse on the phone cursing me out. Where the hell is he? What is it? So I on the phone cursing me out. Where the hell is she? What is this? So I give the phone to him, and he goes,

now what the hell do you want? I'm enjoying myself for the first time in a long time. So she said, well, where are you? You've got to get up and do Carnegie Hall tomorrow. Ah, screw Carnegie Hall. You know, we're having a ball, because every 10 minutes he'd say, let me tell you about this scene.

I'd stop the projector. I'd have to pull the film out of the gate so it didn't burn. He would go into these tremendous stories about how he and the boys and his brothers did this and what happened that day. And that was a day the kitchen caught fire. And my brother came, you know, and we'd go on and on and on with these stories. It was just incredible. And, I mean, by the time I got finished with, Io, we became the best of friends.

So I later saw him out here. And when he was at, we invited him up to the mansion. And he came up to Hefner's. And he was the best, man. There was no one better than Groucho. Now this gets to my next question. Did Groucho ever get blown at the mansion? It got blown up at the mansion. Can I read some names to you?

Because we spoke about the great Groucho. And, okay, Mae West. Mae West was like my wife's client. Let me explain something to you. My wife was a William Morris agent, and she was in charge of, or not in charge, but she was an agent. Who later was made vice president of the commercial department of William Morris. Now, that's a pretty hefty, big job. And so she had a lot of clients and people I knew,

and those that I didn't. And we always socialized together. So Mae West was one of her clients. And so she wanted to meet me so Betty had her out to the house and she said one night

I had to go out, I had an appointment and I wasn't there and when I came back she went, oh my god Chuck I missed you. And I said, you didn't leave yet? So Betty grabbed me aside and she said, you know, she's in love with you

because you are an exact replica, I mean, an image, spitting image of her late boyfriend who raised her. She was 16 when she met this performer. She was a performer, and she was a child performer. And he brought her up, and he taught her everything. And he brought her down to the docks on the west side of Manhattan and watched the ladies of the evening working there. And she developed her walk and everything, she told me, from this one prostitute that

used to walk down there. And she would follow her around. And one day the prostitute caught her eye again and turned on her. And she said, hey, what are you doing? You keep following me around. And what do you think you are? Are you queer or something like that and she said no no i'm not i'm just you know she's all right she said but just uh be careful

and she she walked hoidly away as she said and she said that was my walk ever since so may west entire personality come up and see me sometime that was based on a hooker that's right wow who never got any credit oh she was a strange lady who was walking around the east. Amazing. West side of Manhattan in the docks. Working the sailors and stuff, you know. What about the great actor John Carradine? Oh, Johnny. Oh, my God.

Oh, Carradine was the greatest. And, of course, his kids were great, too. But, you know, I met Carradine at a restaurant I used to come into. I'm going to not remember the name of the restaurant. That's all right. Huh? No, that's okay. Oh, okay.

No, I thought you knew it. But it was every time I came to New York, I flew in New York, I went to this restaurant for my breakfast. And Pat McCormick would meet me there and all the guys, Bob Ridgely and all of my friends. All of my friends. Okay. So I would go there, and I would see Carradine sitting there at the bar. So I wound up getting a show called Far Out Space Nuts. Oh, sure. With Bob Denver.

Right. So I'm there in the bar, and there's Carradine. And we know each other by our names now. He was so sweet to me. So he said, What are you doing, my dad? So I said, I'm doing this show, this kid

show. A kid show, eh? I said, yeah. He said, ah, what's it about? I said, it's a half hour show.

He says, ah, is that a role in it for me? I said, John, it's a kid show. He said, I know that. What does it pay and where do I start? So I said, are you kidding? He said, I want to do it.

So I get to the studio and I said, John Carradine wants to do my show. So the Crofts, Sid and Marty go, are you kidding? I said, no, he wants to do the show. He wants to play a villain in it. So I said, write something for him. And we brought him in, and he was freaking marvelous, man. So I wrote this thing called The Crystallites. So The Crystallites, they're governed by this crystal, right?

So I walk into the studio, and John is already there getting made up and costumed and everything. And I walk, and I said, where's John? I said, he's sitting there on the throne. And I look at the throne throne and there's this big diamond thing, all plastic and everything. And I see a figure inside. I said,

is Carradine in that thing? They said, yeah. I said, it's goddamn John Carradine. Get that crap off him. You know? So, we unwrapped John, you know, and we did the episode. But he was so sweet, man. He was so great.

Now, we're doing one scene, you know, where they have a wall that opens up, you know, and somebody marches from another hall, and you hear, and the wall goes, like that, you know. But there's no, behind the door, it's about a foot and a half to the back wall. So there's, so Carradine has to stand behind this door and wait for the thing to go, then he steps into the room, you know? But he's actually against this flat. It's about a foot away from the wall,

and he's standing behind this frickin' door waiting for Bob Denver to give his... Bob forgot all of his lines, and all of a sudden, booming from behind the door, it said, Denver, either get this line straight or throw me a magazine.

That's great. That's the best John Carradine impression I've ever heard, Chuck. Oh, God. Well, I do others, you know. Oh, God. Well, I do others, you know. Now, we haven't talked at all about your kid show. Uh-huh.

Your many kid shows. Yeah. Oh, God. Can you sing the Dick Tracy theme? Oh, Dick Tracy, he had the bulldog jaw. Dick Tracy, why is he arm of the law? Did Tracy, you know, that was the basic. That's great. Yeah, better do what he say.

Crime doesn't never pay. Oh, my God, you know it. Oh, my God. That's great. Oh, God. Then there was also a Little Offananny song. Oh, man. Little Offananny didn't have a family.

Yeah, she was. I got to send, I'll get copies of that, Gilbert. Oh, great. Oh, we'd love that. Give them to you. Now, I remember you were talking about, I mean, that was popular back then. There was you, Sandy Becker, Soupy Sales. Officer Joe Bolton.

Oh, yeah. Right. Paul Winchell was in New York. We used to watch. Yeah. Well, Paul came in later on, but he was out of California and Detroit, I think. And you talked about when they stopped doing kid shows like that with the host. Right.

And what changed? What kid shows supplied to little kids? Well, what we had was kids shows were when kids got out of school they would run home like I would run home to hear radio shows because in my day

after school you need a respite. You need a break. So you would go home and you would listen to Jack Armstrong. You would listen to radio shows, little 15-minute radio shows with a suspenseful ending that you would pick up the next day. And so it was a continued show and a continued story. And Captain Midnight, these are just some of the little 15-minute shows I used to listen to.

And so I always felt that television should have the same kind of a thing, you know. So that's what I want. Anyway, these were magnificent shows for me. And you would listen to these shows. And you couldn't wait to get home to hear the conclusion of them, you know? And you said, like, the host, because they did away with kiddie show hosts. Yeah, well, that's what happens, see? So when they let go of kiddie shows in general by eliminating the host, there was no one there to say, hello, good morning, how are you?

Is everything okay? Did you brush your teeth this morning? Hey, did you wash your face? Hey, kids, be careful walking to school. Remember, those people out there in the cars can be pretty crazy. And brush your teeth, and when you go to bed, you know, say your prayers and be kind to each other.

Be especially good to each other, you know. He's your pal down the street, you know, and I'd read letters and stuff like this. And there was nobody there to do that anymore. And so,

guys like Soupy would do this. I would do this. Zachary, John Zachary, God bless him. He would do this. We all did it in our own way, but we were the brothers there that these kids didn't have. We were the fathers that a lot of these kids didn't have. Or, you know, the uncles. I mean, we were everything to these kids. A lot of these kids didn't have family. We were their family. And I knew this because of the letters that we'd get.

You know, we'd get these tremendous letters written by kids that, you know, even though it was in crayon, it would break your heart, man. How many shows were there, Chuck? There was the Chuck McCann show. There was fun stuff. Yeah, well, I mean, that's just in New York. Let's have fun. You know, these shows were all over the country.

But in New York City, there was me, Soupy, Joe Bolton, Jack McCarthy. Right. There were a whole bunch. Wondorama was on then. Wondorama, that's Sonny Fox. Sonny Fox, sure. Sonny and I did a lot of things together. Didn't you famously...

He was on Five. That was Wondorama. Picks had the cream of the crop for the afternoon. But Wondorama on Sunday was like... I went opposite Wondorama with the show called Let's Have Fun. So I was opposite myself, actually, when I moved over to WNEW. Because when I wound up taking over what Sonny had with Sonny, I was opposite my own show that I created.

It was really strange. Was there a story about a lion getting loose, Chuck? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had all kinds of wacky animals and people. We had the craziest guests, you know, and the producers would book these guests. We didn't need guests.

We did one-man shows. We could stand there and do two hours without any problem. I used to write my show walking from 49th street to 42nd street you did it in the old daily news building didn't you the pix show and as i walked along the street third avenue going to 42nd street i would come up with the whole show and i had a little notepad yep and you would have to i heard like a lot of the hosts back then if they came up with an idea they had to buy their own props for it oh yeah yeah i had to go shopping at night and in fact i wasn't allowed to bring my props into the studio so i had to sneak in on sunday

when no one was there and bring my props in. I would find stuff in the trash, and I mean big props like chairs and stuff like this. And I had friends of mine that would come and help me get it upstairs, and then we'd just put it on stage, you know, or backstage in the prop room. And one day I'm sitting out there, and this other guy is in there on a Sunday. And I'm putting together some wires and stuff and everything for the show for Monday. And he said, what are you doing? I said, I'm doing the prop thing for my show tomorrow.

And he said, oh. I said, yeah, I'm here. I'm putting the For Glory show, I'm putting this, and I'm painting this. It looks tacky, so I'm painting it. I said, oh, I said, what do you do? He says, I'm the new program manager. So I said, oh.

So he said, yeah, I can't put a show on with this. And the union, you know, it costs hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars to have them come in and pay maybe $1,000. And in those days, it was a lot of money. So you came, snuck in, and you did it yourself. No budget and no days off, right, Chuck? And I said, what's your name? He said, I'm Chuck McCann.

He said, what's your name? He said, Fred Silverman. Oh, my God. How about that? Yeah. Now, here's something you said. Now, you've got to tell the people who Fred Silverman is. Well, a lot of people don't know, you know.

He became a major television executive and programmed many successes. He ran television. In fact, he produced Thick of the Night that I was on. Oh, yeah. One of my biggest failures. Don't forget Super Train while you're talking about Fred Silverman. Oh, yeah. Now, Chuck, you said something that really gave me a chill in one of your interviews.

Well, close the door and close the window, for Christ's sake. Put pants on. I like to draw. I always like to draw i always like to draw so do i and and uh when i was a kid i used to make paper mache puppets wow and you said in an interview that comedians so many comedians like to draw and make things that's right everybody that i know of that's worth the salt knows how to sketch. It's just funny that way. Who was some of the great—

All right, Van Dyke. Dick Van Dyke is a fantastic artist. If you see the caricatures of Dick Van Dyke, he did those. of Dick Van Dyke. He did those. If you see, I mean, God, I... Was Jonathan Winters,

didn't he draw too? Jonathan Winters drew magnificently. I know, Tony. Oh, Jonathan, yeah, Jonathan Winters, Tony Kirk. Yeah, I used to go up

to Johnny's house and he had, up in Nyack, he had all of his, all of his artwork on the the wall i mean it was just incredible stuff his oils i should tell our listeners that in gilbert's apartment he has some wonderful caricatures on his walls of stuff that i don't know that you've ever shown anybody oh no no in my book in rubber oh it's in the book. Some really great stuff.

Real fun. Yeah. I put movie posters up in my living room. My wife, you know, she wanted to put up caricatures, but I don't know. Can you do some of the voices that you've gotten famous for over the years in commercials and cartoons? Oh, sure. Yes. Well, Doss Butler was a dear friend of mine, and he passed away.

But when he did, I took over for a lot of people that did voices, you know. Now, let me just take a swig of coffee here, good night. Okay. The master prepares. Yeah, because, you know, it's earlier here than it is where you are. So I got out

of bed to do this. Thank you, Chuck. No, you're more than welcome. I'm still in my pajamas. I'm amazed that you can get out of bed. Yeah, it is. Well, I roll out of bed. The bed's generally, in the morning, the bed's generally on top of me. So you did some great commercial voiceovers i remember well of course the

hi guy you know yeah that was kind of uh that that voice i did was my own and uh but that was like the only one that i did that was my own all the other voices i've done were caricatures or imitations. I did an album, and I did the voice of Yogi Bear after Doors Pass. Yeah, how are you doing, boo-boo? How are you, Yogi? What's happening? Yeah, not that much. Hey, why don't we go into the forest and see the rager? That's awfully good, Yogi.

Come on, let's go. Okay. Yeah, and away I go. That's great. And I did a whole musical album with Yogi singing, which was like, it's one thing doing the voice, but it's another thing singing, you know? You did Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, too, from Coco Puffs?

Oh, yeah. That was a buddy of mine over at Dance Fitzgerald. He said, we need a voice for this. And he pulls out this cartoon of Sonny with just the face. And I went, yahoo! I'm Coco Puffs! Cocoops, Goo Goo Goo Goo Pops, Goo Goo Goo Goo Pops. And you did Gramps too, didn't you?

Yeah. Didn't you do the grandfather? Yeah, so I did, hey boy, what are you doing? Oh, nothing, Gramps. Just sitting around, watching TV. Yeah? Oh, that's a Goo Goo bird, I'll tell you. A little Lionel Barrymore in Grandpa.

Yeah, there was a little Lionel Barrymore in it. Howdy, boys. Yes, a little Lionel Barrymore in that, yes. Here's Lionel Barrymore. My golly, Lionel was a little more nasal. My golly, my line-up is a little more nasal. Keep your hands off my wheelchair before I break your neck. Great.

The Key Largo. Yeah, Key Largo. So you think you're going to some island. Well, let me tell you, nobody's going to get off this island alive if it's up to them. And what about in Oh, and It's a Wonderful Life? Oh, you mean Jim? Yes. Oh, yeah. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.

Yeah, Jim, Jim. Jimmy Stewart. Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, that's what, yeah, Jim, Jimmy Stewart, yeah. Hello, Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter. I saw... I'm just a party, but I... What the fuck are you trying to say, boy? Speak it out, will you? All I wanted to say...

All I wanted to say... Oh, for great sake, say it! Shit! Anyway, there it is. Here's an obscure one, Chuck. I saw a commercial online for a breakfast cereal called, I think it was Crinkles. And it was you doing the voice. It was a little bit of Ed Wynn.

Do you remember this character? No. It was almost like a little Ed Wynn meets Arnold Stang. You've got to understand, I did thousands of commercials. Can you do an Edwin for us? Sure. Yes, it's wonderful, you see. Fantastic.

Absolutely. You know, I have a basketball hoop. You know, this is serious now. I have a basketball hoop that I hang over my bed, you know. Fantastic. It's for people who toss in their sleep. That's great. There's that great scene in The Projectionist, Chuck, which we talked about,

where you're looking at the headshots on on the walls you're in the you're in the projection booth and there's john wayne and bogart and sydney green street you you know this scene of course yeah and you're going picture by picture and you're doing voices you can see this clip online folks and watch it your your impressions are uncanny well if you look at that scene it's all done in one take because harry and i we had one camera uh a limited amount of film making the projectionist and when we got up to that new jersey projection booth and it was out in the ocean side of someplace out in Oceanside or someplace out in New Jersey. There was a theater on a pier, and we shot that in the booth there. And the theater, the interior of the theater

was like, it was a duplicate of the Paramount. So everything in the theater was like big, you know? So I'm in the booth, and Harry put up a bunch of pictures on the wall and we had lived everything yeah it was it wasn't a word written on of that picture under that movie I everything was it there was like a John Wayne oh yeah yeah Yeah, I did. I did. Well, I did voices of every.

Yeah. Could you do a little John Wayne? Oh, listen, I'll tell you what we're going to do, man. Let's get on our horses and ride the hell out of here. Ride the hell out of here. When we leave the projection booth, you guys make a right-hand turn, but don't go in the toilet. And Humphrey Bogart?

Why, of course. My Bogart won't be very good right now because of an upper lip problem. Maybe you do a little Sidney Greenstreet, Gilbert will throw in some Peter Lorre. Give it, give it, my friend. Come over here, Peter. What are you doing, Peter? He should have to find the falcon. No falcon, please.

There'll be no fucking around here. You do that on your own time. You don't do that in my picture, Peter. You do that in one of your German crowd films. That's brilliant. James Cagney. You know, I never... Okay.

Okay. You dirty rat. Ooh. I want to give it to you. Like you gave it to my brother. Ooh. And I know how you gave it to my brother. That's it.

No, Cagney was one of my loves. But I never did him. I always wound up doing... I never did the ones everybody was doing. I never, even to this day... Not a lot of people did Sidney Greenstreet. Yeah, but it was strange. You know, I just... Like Jack Benny, I did Jack Benny a lot.

I remember there was a cartoon where one of the characters, you did the voice, and it was a Jack Benny imitation. Right, and what I would do is I'd take voices, and I'd make hybrids out of them. In other words, I'd take Ed Wynn and Jack Benny. Now, here's Ed Wynn, you see, like this. You know, he talks like that. And Jack Benny would be, gee, you know, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to tell you that it's wonderful to be here. You know, so you get that, and you're mixed in with that. And, you know, ladies and gentlemen, it's wonderful to be here.

And you've got another character. It's great. You know, so you mix, you make hybrids. And that's what I did with a lot of my cartoon characters, you know. And you were in the aristocrats with me, and that's the most important thing. Can you please tell me what you think of comics who rely on obscenity?

What I think of what, Gilbert? Comics who use a lot of obscenity. Oh, well, that's why I don't use them. And I did that with you guys because, I don't know. So you're against. You know we're low comedians. Today it seems like you have to throw something in once in a while. But I don't.

I never did. I never thought I had to. I felt, I always felt that, you know, comedy is comedy. And it's, it's not shock value. And obscenity is shock value. I think if you're doing obscenity, then you're some fucking cocksucker. Right. Who can't think of anything else.

No. You're fucking right on. Well, now... I think anybody who does a fucking thing like that is really shitty. Okay. I mean it. I think comedy is, by itself, is, you know, if you're pure and you're clean, you're fucking right on. You scumbag.

Now, we're going to wrap up because I got tired of talking to you when you first got on the phone. I could have told you that an hour ago. Chuck, before we run, you want to plug your book? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very important. I do have a book, and nobody's going to buy it. So I bought it.

Oh, did you? I did. It's called The Let's Have Fun Book, and what it is is based on. It is a fun book. Billy Crystal did the whole beginning of it. He loved the book. Billy was a big fan of mine back growing up. Joyce from Long Island, sure.

Yeah, he was one of the guys that watched my show. I was amazed at how many people watched that show. I used to leave the studio thinking, no one's watched that. Who would watch this? And you influenced entire generations, Chuck. I never knew it. Never freaking knew it. No, no, Chuck.

You never fucking knew it. No, I never fucking knew it. No, I never fucking knew it. I mean, I never could think that those little pricks out there that were watching. Now it's Uncle Don. Yeah, Uncle Don. Uncle Don. Oh, man. It's an infamous story.

But anyway, it's called Let's Have Fun. It's an infamous story. I get to read his stories. But anyway, it's called Let's Have Fun, is the book. And you can order it from Amazon. And you get a DVD with the book, right? You get a DVD with the book. Great. I've got a lot of sketches for my show. And it's at Amazon.com. And it's around $30, I think my book is.

and it's around 30 bucks i think my book is you know but it's it's worth it because you get you know it's uh it costs us just about that to manufacture it by the time we got the dvd and everything edited and stuff so and i just i just want to tell our listeners of the fight of the podcast to check check out the projectionist a movie that Chuck is wonderful in, and a young Rodney Dangerfield you'll get to see as well. Oh, great. Hey, I loved speaking to you, Gilbert, and you, Frank. I just had a lot of fun. Of course, you fucked up my Sunday.

What is today, Sunday? No, it's Tuesday. Could you watch? It's Tuesday already. I don't know. Who the fuck cares? Chuck. When you reach my age, you just slip from one to another.

I don't go to bed anymore. They have me glued to a chair in the living room facing the television. And Chuck, would you watch your language on my show, please? I will. I just wanted to say this one thing. on my show please i will you know i just wanted to say this one thing yes you know i every every three hours my wife passes by with a mirror in front of my mouth to see if i'm still breathing god bless you chuck well this is we're gonna start wrapping up uh oh i i love you guys. I really do.

Thank you so much for calling in. Thanks for doing it. We haven't even touched upon. Oh, so much. We didn't get to Bob Kane, and we didn't get to the Vaughn Meter albums. Hey, listen, if you want to do it again sometime, I'm available. It's not that I want to. No, I know.

I know that. I know that. But before we have the interview, pass a mirror under my face. Oh, okay. So I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we have been talking to the great Chuck McCann. Thank you, Chuck.

You're welcome. Could you take us out as Mr. Laurel? Okay, yeah. See, Ollie, I think they're saying goodnight. Well, I know what they're saying. Oh, and it isn't goodnight. What do you mean by that? Do they like it?

Thank you, Chuck. Thank you, Chuck. You're brilliant. I love you, baby. We love you, too. Some major office supply stores are closing, but the good news is that you can find low prices on supplies you need at Walmart. They have a broad assortment of office supplies, everything from copy paper to coffee.

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