Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 64. Josh Mostel

Episode Date: August 17, 2015

Veteran character actor Josh Mostel stops by Gilbert's apartment to dish dirt on everyone from Art Carney to Jack Palance to Meryl Streep and to share stories from his own 40-year career as well as th...e life/career of his famous dad, legendary performer Zero Mostel. Also, Josh co-stars with George Segal, gets advice from Robert Mitchum, "assaults" Paul Mazursky and tries to follow in the footsteps of John Belushi. PLUS: "Stoogemania"! "The Hot Rock"! The late, great Bruno Kirby! Josh sings "King Herod's Song"! Zero testifies before HUAC! And Marlon Brando seduces Josh's mom! If you've got a car and a license, put 'em both to work for you and start earning serious, life-changing money today. Sign up to drive with Uber. Visit http://www.DriveWithUber.com This episode is brought to you by the FOSCAM 1 HD 720P Indoor WiFi Security Camera. Go to http://foscam.us/c1 and use the code GILCAST1 to get $10 off each C1 that you purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:53 Tennessee sounds perfect. Hey, Gilbert, you like making great money, right? No, not me. I do it for the art. And the love. Yes, yes. Pure love. The love of performing.
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Starting point is 00:01:28 It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. You can actually follow the process. They have wonderful stories to tell. I've heard two people actually told me they know about the podcast. What do you think about that? See, that's it. Well, that means it's a raving success that you found two people.
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Starting point is 00:06:06 gilcast g-i-l-c-a-s-t-1 to get ten dollars off each c1 that you purchase that's foscam f-o-s-c-a-m dot u-s slash the letter c and the number one foscam watch what you love anywhere. who's been in dozens of films, including Jesus Christ Superstar, Harry and Tonto, Sophie's Choice, The Money Pit, Star 80, Big Daddy, Radio Days, and City Slickers. He's worked with everyone from Art Carney to Tom Hanks and has been directed by the likes of Woody Allen, Bob Fosse, Paul Mazursky, and Oliver Stone. He also happens to be the son of one of the great comedic actors of his generation, the legendary Zero Mostel.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Please welcome a man who's played everyone from Herod the Great to Bluto Blatarski's brother, our pal, Josh Mostel. Yay! We're going to pipe in applause there. Oh, yes. Oh, okay. We could put it in. Mostel, woo-woo. So my first question.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Yes, my first answer. Yes. Oh, this is exciting. Has anybody in your entire life ever said to you, funny, you don't look Jewish? Gee. You know, I don't think that's happened. And strangely enough, I'm not Jewish. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:08:03 You're not? Do I have to leave or something? Yeah, I'm not Jewish. I'm not. You're not? Do I have to leave or something? Yeah, I'm sorry. We only have Jews. Oh, well, it is a show business. Now, so, because your father, Sarah Mustel. Yeah, he was Jewish. He was Tevye, for God's sake.
Starting point is 00:08:17 But he married a woman, an Irish Catholic originally. Yeah. She claimed Judaism. She announced she was Jewish, but I think it's a little more formal than that. You don't just get to claim Judaism. I always thought of myself as Jewish, but when I was doing Superstar, I was in
Starting point is 00:08:33 a really obnoxious guy who was one of the apostles who was an Israeli, and his roommate told me that if they had a six o'clock call, he would set the alarm for four and then keep hitting snooze 12 times because he wanted to wake up every 10 minutes. He was just a really obnoxious, and I was mouthing about something. He says, tell me,
Starting point is 00:08:56 are you Jewish, Mostel? And I said, well, I'm half Jewish. He says, half Jewish? No, no. Is your mother Jewish? I said, well, my father is Jewish. My mother was. He said, you're not Jewish. No, no. Is your mother Jewish? Well, my father was Jewish. My mother was. You're not Jewish. Okay. If that's the way we're going to be about it. But my mother, you know, she would have been Jewish if, you know, if you could just sign something. Your mom was a chorus girl? Do we have that right? She was seventh from the left on Rockettes.
Starting point is 00:09:22 She was all legs. And I have. You want to show business stories, right? Oh, yes. Okay. We'll take them if you got them. When she died, my brother looked in her pocketbook, and there was an envelope from the Players Club. and it said, Katie, you louse.
Starting point is 00:09:50 You left me alone with Wally Cox, underlined three times. But you were funny, funny, funny, and your crotch is the supplest. X, X, X, X, Marlon. Wow. Oh, my God. That's enough. Should I go now? Wow. That's the best story ever. You can't leave. Yeah, Marlon. That might top. Wow. And they loved Marlon, my God. That's enough. Should I go now? Wow. That's the best story you can leave.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yeah, Marlon. That might top. Wow. And they loved Marlon, my parents. They worshipped Marlon. He was one of the few people they would, you know, turn on the TV for and stuff like that. Marlon Brando and my mom, and I always said I was his son, and Zero was just like, you know, the nameplate. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:24 We could do a DNA thing. Stella! Whatever. Something. Now, as is always the case with my guests, I have to tell them to shut up before we start recording because they have the greatest stories. Oh.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And you told me a story about Groucho Marx. Oh, yeah, Groucho. In college, my best friend was Scott Johnson, and his father was Nunnally Johnson, who was one of the first triple threat guys in Hollywood. Great screenwriter, director. Writer, director, producer. And he and Groucho were great friends.
Starting point is 00:11:02 And Scott got married and invited me to the wedding. And I drove cross-country to this wedding. And I was a hippie. I had hair and a beard. And I probably smelled bad. But you get your feelings. And, you know, a dress term. Anyway, I walk into this mansion in Beverly Hills.
Starting point is 00:11:20 And, you know, all dirty and everything. And there's Groucho with Nunnally. And Groucho looks up and sees me and says to Nunnally, is that the bride? I hope that's not the bride. Anyway, but I wasn't the bride and those rumors are false. Okay. What about rumors about Brando and Wally Cox? There were rumors for years now that you brought them up. I'll tell you what I heard. He and Wally Cox. There were rumors for years now that you brought them up.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I'll tell you what I heard. He loved Wally Cox. He thought Wally Cox was the funniest man. And I think Wally perhaps had more testosterone than Brando. I didn't know Wally Cox, but he was
Starting point is 00:12:00 a little self-assured. I mean, he wasn't the character he played, but he was a funny guy-assured. I mean, he wasn't the character he played. Mr. Peepers. Mr. Peepers, yeah. Mr. Peepers, but with an edge. And Frank and I were talking that we have something sort of in common of having to try to follow in the footsteps of the original Saturday Night Live. In that I was in the cast right after the original cast left.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Oh. And you were in Delta House. Yes. Where you had to fill in for John Belushi. Yes. Which was an impossible job to do. Yes. And I did it impossibly.
Starting point is 00:12:47 I did it. I mean, you know, they paid me. It wasn't a hit. No, it was like, yeah, because it was the TV version of Animal House. Yes. And what's funny about that is that great bad TV writing in that they said, bad TV writing in that they said they wrote you as the younger
Starting point is 00:13:06 brother of John Belushi's character in the movie. And then later on, you would be in City Slickers 2 meeting the totally unknown, untalked about
Starting point is 00:13:20 twin brother of Jack Palance's character. Yeah, Curly's brother. Right. I got some Jack Palance stories. Oh, absolutely. But they're a little dirty. Oh. We'll be back after this moment.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Oh, please. So he's a weird guy, but he's a wonderful actor. And we were sitting on City Slickers 1, and somebody mentioned Marilyn Brando. Not Marilyn Brand Slickers 1. And somebody mentioned Marilyn Monroe. And he said, oh, I used to know Marilyn. I said, jiver fucker? Yeah. And he went, I remember once I was in L.A.
Starting point is 00:13:59 And it was teeming with rain. Rain was pouring down. At about 3 at night, the phone rang. So I knew it and who it must be. And I picked up the phone and said, hello, Marilyn. And she said, oh, Jack. Jack, have you seen it outside? It's so wonderful.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I said, I noticed it's raining. She goes, come on over, Jack. We'll go for a drive. Come on over. So I got in my car and I went and I went over to Marilyn's place. And she came out and she was wearing this tiny white dress. And she jumped in the car and we started driving up around where the Hollywood sign is. And there was a big puddle, and we
Starting point is 00:14:45 were all alone. She said, Jack, Jack, stop here. And I stopped, and she jumped out of the car and ran into this puddle in front of the headlights of the car, twirling around with the rain pouring down on her in that little white dress. That's the whole story. It's a shaggy dog story. There's one more. I love the novel of Jack Palance.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I had always heard that Jack and my father had gotten into a fist fight. Oh, they were in Panic in the Streets together. They were in Panic in the Streets together. Well, you're up on your stuff. Well, I do my best. Aside from the peyote reference. Yeah. You spent too much time watching movies instead of creating your own in your mind.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Absolutely. Anyway, so I said to Jack, so I always heard that you and Zero got into a fist fight. And Jack said, what? Who told you that? I said, no, I just heard it from a bunch of people. He said, no, no, I loved your dad. I loved him. I remember we were on the set and I had this prop gun in my hand.
Starting point is 00:16:03 You know, it wasn't loaded. And I was twirling it around, and Zero comes over and says, Hey, Jack, you want me to give you a target? And I said, Sure. And he drops his pants, and he puts that big, beautiful pink ass right in front of me.
Starting point is 00:16:26 So just kidding around, I shot him with this empty prop gun, but the damn thing was loaded. And Zero starts screaming, you shot me in the ass. You shot me in the ass. Oh, yeah, I loved your old man. That's the other shaggy dog story from Jack Palance. Great stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Back to Delta House just for a second and then we'll move on past it. Gilbert and I were talking about it before you got here. How did they approach you about this? Did you immediately say, how the hell am I going to follow this? Of course not. I said, when do I show up, and how much am I getting paid?
Starting point is 00:17:14 No, I auditioned. I knew I was going to get the part, because they had me read the Belushi part. They wanted Belushi. Right, sure. And everybody looked like Belushi, except me. I just dressed the way I normally do, which is sub Belushi. Right, sure. And everybody looked like Belushi except me. I just dressed the way I normally do, which is sub-Belushi. And at this audition, it's the thing where he says, follow me, and he runs out and nobody follows him.
Starting point is 00:17:36 He gives a big speech. And I gave the big speech. And I was really good. And I gave the big speech, and I ran out of the room, and I slammed the door behind me. And then I heard the producer going, come back, come back. And then I knew I had the part. Nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:49 There were three series that season. I know. Three frat house shows based on Animal House. It's the damn wife of the producer. That's the fault. Who's the fault? Because she told Maddie Simons. Maddie Simmons.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Yeah. One of the founders. She told Maddie, you can't use Animal House name because what if we make a sequel? It'll take back away from the sequel. He goes, oh well, I married you. I might as well
Starting point is 00:18:15 listen to you or something. They called it Delta House. There were three series. We were the one that had all the actors. Yeah, you had Stephen First and John Vernon and Bruce McGill, D-Day. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, but.
Starting point is 00:18:29 You had the best chance of the three. We had the best chance. And no, it didn't work. And we're still waiting for the sequel. But I thought they should have called us Animal House because, I don't know. That's what it was. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:44 They didn't call. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't call the odd couple by a different name when they did the series. Yeah, the strange ones. Yeah. You know, or the misaligned couple. You know, just... I think Walter Matthau one time said
Starting point is 00:19:01 that some woman came up to him in the street and said, she said to me, I love you in that movie, The Queer Couple. Now, can we talk a little, of course, about your father? Of course, why not father? Of course. Why not? The great Zero Mostel. The great Zero Mostel. Shot in the ass, but other than that, he had a wonderful life.
Starting point is 00:19:31 It reminds me of the gag in Blazing Saddles. He says, the little bastard shot me in the ass. Now, we were talking about your father was blacklisted. Oh, boy. Yeah. He used to say, I'm a man of a thousand faces, all father was blacklisted. Oh, boy. Yeah. He used to say, I'm a man of a thousand faces, all of them blacklisted. Yeah. But I've heard you say he wasn't a communist.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Well, I've said a lot of things. But, no, he never admitted to being a communist to me. Right, right. But he might not have been officially because he was broke. He probably didn't have enough money to pay the dues. They always said that you could tell
Starting point is 00:20:12 who the FBI guys were because they paid their dues. Right. And none of the communists, communists won't pay dues. Come on. But I don't know if he was officially in the party,
Starting point is 00:20:22 but he backed a lot of left-wing causes. I mean, he was not a right-winger. Sure. My dad. And did he talk about what it was like when it was just everyone turned their backs on him? Well, not everyone. You couldn't work. I mean, you know, you couldn't do TV.
Starting point is 00:20:43 You could do Broadway. You could do your stand-up act. You did a lot of stand-up. You did Laurel and the Pines and, you know, the Catskills. But the people that never turned their back on you were the fellow blacklistees. They were all, that's all they had was the fact that they weren't informers. I remember Clifford Odets, an informer.
Starting point is 00:21:06 There should be a chorus of people. Whenever you mention Jerry Robbins, you're an informer. Anyway, Clifford Odets was an informer and was friends with my father and that whole set. When he informed, everyone chunned him or tried to.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Of course, he worked. Then Zero was doing a funny thing. And Sam Jaffe, who was my godfather, Gunga Din. We just talked about him on the show last week with Ed Asnet. And Dr. Zorber. Dr. Zorber, sure. He was also a gem of a person. But anyway, Clifford Odets came backstage to say hi to my father when Zero was in A Funny Thing.
Starting point is 00:21:48 And Sam was in the dressing room. And when Clifford Odets walked in, Sam got up and walked to the corner of the room and put his nose in the corner of the room and wouldn't turn around until Clifford Odets left. My father said hi. But see, those blacklisted actors, all, all, Sam wasn't blacklisted, but he was, you know, friends of all of them. Um, all they had was their belief that they did the right thing and the others did not do the right thing. And, uh, that's funny. I'll tell you another, this, this is, this is one of the great stories of all time, as long as we're on this blacklisting topic. Ilya Kazan.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Informer. Yeah. Ilya Kazan, also known as Gaj, was a good friend of my father's. In fact, he directed Panic in the Streets. Right, that's right. With Jack Palance. That's right. Zero.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And let's see. In his book, he talks about being an informer. He says, you know, I didn't like those people. They were all didactic, and I don't care that they didn't like me. The one exception was Zero Mostel, who was a very nice guy and very funny. And I kind of, you know, anyway, he says, I was walking down the street about six months after my testimony, and I hear a bellow from across the street gage and it's zero and i i run he runs across the street and and hugs me a little too
Starting point is 00:23:14 hard and then we go uh and we have coffee and i remember and he writes in his book i remember looking at his face and seeing a certain sadness there, and he sort of implies that he felt a little bad, Gadge, right? Years later, Burt Reynolds, I think it was, who was a friend of Gadge's, told me that when Zero hugged him, he broke two of his ribs. Wow, funny stuff. I love that. Wow, funny stuff. I love that. I remember someone asked Paul Newman about Ilya Kazan.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Right. And Paul Newman's answer was interesting. He said, it's very easy now to say what you would have done back then. Yes, of course. It's true. You know, the Pajama Game had a revival. It was very good with Harry Connick in it. And all of a sudden there was a character in it who they were making fun of for being a very anti-communist, you know, a real. And I thought, you're a little late, you know.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Yes. It's not – it's very easy in retrospect to be, you know. We should point out that your dad testified famously. But he didn't inform. No, he did not name names and he made fun of them a little bit. Yeah, he confronted them, which he's to be credited for. At one point, a senator called him – I think he testified before the House and the Senate, but I'm not exactly sure. But he said that a senator said something and Zero said that he was
Starting point is 00:24:46 a putz. And the senator said, what was that? And I said, I called you a putz. He said, what does that mean? He said, my father said, it's a Yiddish term of endearment. And that was all stricken from the record. So unless you're listening to this, you'll have no clue that such things happen. Gilbert and I were talking before. Didn't he say that if I can't be an informer because if I inform, I can't be buried on sacred ground? I don't believe so. Did he not say that? I said, you know, I could tell you, but I'd hate myself in the morning. I said, I hope you listen to what we've told you. They said at the end of his
Starting point is 00:25:24 testimony, he said, I hope you listen to what we've told you. They said at the end of his testimony, he said, I hope you listen to what I've told you. Right. I don't know. And it did him a lot of good. He didn't work for 30 years. We were poor ass. Well, you were born in 46, and he was blacklisted when? Oh, probably, oh, I don't know, 52.
Starting point is 00:25:38 52. No, we were real poor growing up. Yeah. And then Zero hit it big on Broadway. I mean, you know, when he did Rhinoceros and won Tony. And then he did a funny thing, which was a riot. And then he did Fiddler. And then, you know, the producers.
Starting point is 00:25:53 And then he was rich and buying art and having a great time. What I always wondered is, like, how come they didn't use him? He was the definitive. Oh, that's a good story. Oh, I think because Zero was a pain in the ass. That's my belief. I remember I walked by. He was on the phone yelling at his agent saying, no, I want this and tell them that or they can go fuck themselves.
Starting point is 00:26:16 And he's going on and on. And the next thing I heard, Topol was doing it. You know, and I think Zero was shocked. I don't think Zero believed that it could be done without him and oh i got a lot of stories about this so anyway norman jewison directs it and it was probably a smart thing to do because you know it wasn't zero mostel's uh uh fiddler on the roof it was norman jewison's fiddler on the roof You know, it wasn't all about Zero. But anyway, Tuple does it. So years later, David Merrick, the notoriously shitheadness producer on Broadway, wanted to do Baker's Wife, a musical based on the French trilogy that I think Marcel Pagnol was the lead.
Starting point is 00:27:07 It was a very brilliant trilogy. And Zero loved it, and Zero wanted to do it. And they were going to do this musical. And Zero and David were fighting over terms and this and that and the other thing. And Zero was impossible, and David was impossible, and they don't do it. So we hired Tuple to play the part. And it was a total flop. and then the other thing zero was impossible and david's impossible and they don't do it so we hired tuple to play the part and it was a total flop and tuple couldn't have been worse for the party he just did it to up yours zero so so then um zero was doing some movie that was never released
Starting point is 00:27:41 in in uh in mexico and I went to visit him, right? And as soon as I got there, my agent called and said, they want you to audition for Jesus Christ Superstar. Norman Jewison will fly you to L.A. and from Mexico to L.A. And when I was talking to my agent about this, Zero started screaming, tell him to hire Topol, son. You're not leaving. That's great.
Starting point is 00:28:07 That's great. That's great. Now, can I totally put you on this spot? Yeah, yeah. I can walk out, too. Yes. Ignore the sound of the ringing phone. And ask you. If it's my agent, tell them I'll get right back to them.
Starting point is 00:28:21 No, give it to me if it's my agent. Is it my agent? Oh, it's not my agent. Oh, wait, I don't have an agent. Oh, go on. Sorry. Can you sing at least two lines from King of the Jews? The King Herod song?
Starting point is 00:28:36 Yeah. I can sing the whole thing. What, are you kidding me? Please, please. Can we have... What? Do you want me to do it? Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Without my orchestra? I don't care. Without my Debbie of beauties? I am such a terrible singer. Just a couple of lines, Josh. Jesus, I am overjoyed to meet you face to face. You are getting quite a name all around the place. Healing cripples, raising from the dead.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Now I understand your God. At least that's what you've. Now I understand you're God. At least that's what you've said. I got a belch. So, you are the Christ, yes, the great Jesus Christ. Proved me that you're divine. Changed my water into wine.
Starting point is 00:29:19 That's all you need do. Then I'll know it's all true. Come, King of the Jews. Great. Terrific. Terrific. Thank you. I always like the line, prove to me that you're no fool,
Starting point is 00:29:36 walk across my swimming pool. Yes, maybe that came there then. I don't know. I haven't done it in a while. On request. Yeah, when was the last time somebody asked you to sing a couple of bars from came there then. I don't know. I haven't done it in a while. On request. When was the last time somebody asked you to sing a couple of bars from Jesus Christ Superstar? I don't think anyone's ever done it
Starting point is 00:29:52 before. And it's funny, watching you sing, you could definitely see your father. That's what I've always hoped for on stage, that when when i perform someone will see someone else yeah but uh you know thank you i i guess the part of it's a compliment i'll thank
Starting point is 00:30:11 you yeah no it's a compliment great great compliment oh thank you uh uh because frank and i were discussing that your father gave you some acting tips how do you know this stuff what have you been following me? Do a little research. Yeah, well, he always said. Something about a cough drop? Yeah, I know. I was getting there.
Starting point is 00:30:33 He took me aside and said, before you go on stage, you must always suck on something red. Because your tongue gets too white. You know, theons from the masters. Suck on something red and we'll all be successful. Not to go back to the blacklist, but I just want to point out too that your dad's part in the front, which is just a wonderfully sad movie, and his part is Hecky Brown, which is basically he's playing somebody, I assume based on himself, on his own life, or just an amalgam of different people.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Yeah, it was a bunch of different people. Everybody in the movie had been black. Yeah, Herschel Bernardi. No, I was in that movie. Were you? Yes, and they cut me out completely. Oh, jeez. Bastards.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Yeah. They didn't want the other actors to be overshadowed. No, what happened was Zero in the movie did his act and then right before he kills himself he goes and sees another comedian doing his act. I was the other comedian stealing his act. But since they cut his act,
Starting point is 00:31:35 they cut the guy stealing his act. So they just went right up to the window where he jumped out. It's a sweet, sad film. Yes, it is. Herschel Bernardi and Walter Bernstein and Marty Ritt and everybody was blacklisted. Yes, my mother, when she saw it, I found the most moving parts of it to be the years that the people were blacklisted.
Starting point is 00:31:57 You know, you see a movie when they talk about the real people at the end. That's always sometimes the best part. But when Herschel's name came up, he goes, when was he blacklisted? No one ever heard of Herschel Bernardi. He wasn't blacklisted back then. He was the blacklisted Johnny come late, late. But that was my mother.
Starting point is 00:32:15 She wanted redemption. No one ever heard of Herschel Bernardi in 1954. And you worked with Robert Mitchum. Mm-hmm. He gave me a... Yes, I did. My first job, I played Robert Mitchum's parole officer. And they had me...
Starting point is 00:32:38 I'd never done a movie before, never done anything before. What was the name of the film, John? It was called Going Home. Going Home, yeah. With Jan Michael Vincent, right? Yeah, it might be Coming Home. Going Home. Going Home.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Going Home. And so they say, all right, go down to Wildwood, New Jersey, and here's the hotel, and take a bus, and we'll reimburse you. And I get on the bus. I go into the hotel and say, is there anything for Josh Mostel? And they said, no. And I go, oh, geez, what if I'm working? I said, oh, where's the production office? Tell me where the production office is.
Starting point is 00:33:14 I was afraid I had to start working. And I said, well, it's right on the boardwalk. And I walk to the boardwalk, and there's the production office. And I walk in, and there are about four teletype machines, and no one is in there. And I'm, what is going on? I mean, and I go out on the boardwalk, and I walk in, and I see Robert Mitchum. And I walk up to Robert Mitchum, and I go, Robert, hi, I'm Josh Mastello. I play in the parole office at Borelli.
Starting point is 00:33:38 And I just wondered, you know, I went to the production office, and there was nothing in the hotel. And I wonder if he says, son, let me tell you something. Give you some advice. Go to a movie. Go to a bar. Do whatever you want. If they want you, they'll find you. I thought, oh, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:33:58 So I just de-stressed and went back to the hotel or whatever. Years later, when I was doing City Slickers, I had a day off. And we were in Santa Fe, and I called David Pamer, who played my brother. And I said, Dave, you want to go to the movies in Albuquerque? He said, sure. We're both not working.
Starting point is 00:34:21 So I said, okay. And we got in my car, and we drive down to albuquerque we never told anybody we had a day off and uh we're watching this movie i forget what it was and suddenly there's a tap on my shoulder and i said yeah and someone says are you josh mostel i said uh-huh i said call the office they wanted me they found me uh no apparently uh as i was driving off uh the officer said you know we're going to do that child we're going to need the boys and anybody have a 20 on them they said well i saw him driving south on the highway they must be going to a movie go to every movie theater and look for these two schmucks and bring them back. And they did. So Robert Mitchum was right.
Starting point is 00:35:06 That's great. And I've got to say one thing about Robert Mitchum. You know, we did his close-up first, and he was very minimal, you know, not showing too much. And then they turned around and did my close-up. And his offstage acting was the best acting i had ever seen in my life up to that point he gave everything you could give another actor that's pretty much i would say it was better than his performance for the film was his performance for me trying to get anything out of this like newcomer the business. No, he was quite a guy, I thought.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Arrested for marijuana, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, famously. Famous. And Jan Michael Vincent was the other actor in that film? Yes, well, speaking of marijuana. It was a father and son story, wasn't it, with Mitchum? Wasn't he an ex-con? Yes, he had killed his wife, Jan, Michael Vincent's mother.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Right. And gets out of jail 20 years later when the movie starts, and they have a bad time together. Now, Jan Michael Vincent, he seems like he started out as a handsome James Dean type actor. And he just sort of became known as just like drugs and drinking and craziness. Was any of that back then? I went to his hotel room and it was the most dope I'd ever seen. It was like there was the whole, there were like seven people there. Each of them had two joints passing them left and right and up and down.
Starting point is 00:36:49 And nobody was up and nobody was down. But it was, and it wasn't even that good, the dope. I mean, but it was, I didn't feel stoned. I felt overwhelmed. Maybe it was just the lack of oxygen or something, you know. But it was something. Anyway. So or something, but it was something. Anyway. So back then.
Starting point is 00:37:08 But he was nice, too. I'm thinking most people have been nice. Mark Metcalf wasn't nice, but other than that. Mark Metcalf from Animal House. Yeah, he was a prick. Niedermeyer. Yeah. He was just like his character.
Starting point is 00:37:23 He was a real prick. Interesting. But, hey, Mark, I'm just kidding. No, I'm not. Anyway. The Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast Producer of the Month for August is Kate Jones. Thank you, Kate. is Kate Jones. Thank you, Kate. Be just like Kate and get rewarded for supporting our podcast. Head over to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. For a small amount each month,
Starting point is 00:38:09 small amount each month, you can get some colossal benefits, such as access to new podcast episodes before anyone else, exclusive video hangouts, shoutouts from me on Twitter. I will even read something that you send me, and it'll sound just like this. Go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. That's Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. We thank you for your generosity. And you worked with Art Carney. Art would do celebrity farts. Celebrity farts.
Starting point is 00:39:01 He was an incredible mimic. He was an incredible clown to begin with. Did you know this about Art Carnegie? No. Oh, well, you would say anybody, and he would imitate them saying a line, and then he would do their fart. So he hated Arthur Godfrey, by the way. He hated him. So he'd start off with, he said, the Lipton tea people.
Starting point is 00:39:29 And he'd do a little dribbly fart. He said he would have a dribble fart. And then he would do, you'd say John Wayne. He'd say, oh, he would have a robust fart. He would go, you know, I think that we should all get together. Oh, I didn't mean to spit at you, Gilbert. He's wiping spit off and laughing and everything. It's terrible here. Someone get the man a towel. So he would do celebrity farts. But he would do precise and great imitations of the people.
Starting point is 00:40:02 And God knows if the farts were accurate. But I don't know. He was a talent. He was quite a... And did you remember him in The Honeymoons when he would try to sign a contract? Of course. He would do all that whole... Some of the best clowning ever.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Yeah, yeah. Wonderful stuff. They were a wonderful comic team, him and Gleason. And that's early in your career, too. I mean, you're still a newbie actor and you're working with Art Carney and Paul Mazursky. Yeah, that was the third movie I did. A fourth movie I did.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Harry and Tonto, which we should say. That was fun. And, you know, just a little word of advice for all you actors out there. Never improvise nude scenes. You know, we were driving along. It was Art Carney's double and me and Melanie Mayron. And the rest of the cast was taking the highway from the Grand Canyon to Sedona, Arizona. And a beautiful country.
Starting point is 00:40:58 And we were taking all bad roads and getting shots. And I said to Melanie, maybe I should give him a pressed ham here. You know? And she said, don't look. shots and and i said to millie maybe i should give him a pressed hand here you know and she's don't look and i pulled down my pants and pressed my not quite big pink beautiful ass press my butt against the thing and i hear over the radio do it again do it again and i do it again you know funny funny and then we we get no we get into the grand canyon then we get to the Grand Canyon. And we get to the Grand Canyon. And Paul, who was in the camera car behind me, said, oh, that was great. I said, what, you shot it?
Starting point is 00:41:33 You shot it? He said, yeah. I said, well, how did it look? I said, oh, it was big. And there was a pimple and a brown stain. It looked terrible. He said, well, you're not going to use it if it looked bad, are you? He said, well, I think I'm going to have it on the poster.
Starting point is 00:41:49 And, you know, I just felt so terrible. I said, oh, no. Don't just suddenly take your pants off, you know. Especially if there's a camera around. Especially if you're making minimum. You know, there are all these rules, especially if you're making minimum. You know, there are all these rules, but I don't know. It was fun.
Starting point is 00:42:13 You work with some great directors, Josh. Yes, I have. Paul Mazurski, you just talked about, Norman Jewison. I love Paul. Yeah, we're fans. Gilbert and I are big Mazurski fans. I did a very inappropriate thing with him. It's like right when we were in – I know you're shocked. You're shocked already.
Starting point is 00:42:30 But we were in the Grand Canyon right after this thing with exposing my button, being informed that it might be the poster, which was a lie. And he was sitting with all the bigwigs and I was sitting with Melanie Mayeron who I had a crush on. And I was carrying the pie, a little pie, some sort of, I forget the kind of pie it was, a lemon meringue.
Starting point is 00:43:00 No, I don't. I was carrying a lemon meringue pie back to the table and Paul made some joke, look, our poster boy or something. And I said, hey, Paul, did you ever see this old joke? And he said, what? And I hit him in the face with a pie in front of all the other, you know, the assistant directors and all the producers and, you know, the table, the power table. And he was furious. He was, he wiped the pie out of his, that goes beyond humor. And I went, oh shit. And, um, and I was right. Oh shit was the word of the day. And the casting director, um, oh, some famous Hollywood casting director. She'd used me
Starting point is 00:43:40 in like three movies, uh, consecutively and I never auditioned for her again. Lynn Chenoweth or something? No. Ellen Chenoweth. Is that right? Is that something like that? I think so. I forget. The casting director of Harry and Tom. We'll have our staff look it up. Okay. I think it's Ellen. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. She had her own casting. But
Starting point is 00:43:59 anyway, she moved to Ellen Chenoweth. And I never auditioned for her again. But Paul and I would, you know, Paul got over it. I mean, we played cards after that. But she didn't. She didn't want to hire actors that assaulted the director. But, you know, it takes all kinds in show business, doesn't it? And Jewison we talked about, but you also worked for Frank Perry, Alan Pakula.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Frank Perry, yeah. Oliver Stone, Bob Fosse. Yes, yes. Bob Fosse was quite a director. I mean, he would actually cut because the camera wasn't moving fast enough. Interesting. He knew what he was doing. I mean, he was very on top of things, very controlling.
Starting point is 00:44:41 He was a choreographer. But he was good. very controlling. He was a choreographer. But he was good. I think he really and he would he had no pity. I mean he would run you ragged.
Starting point is 00:44:54 But you worked very hard. I mean the whole part I did in two days. In Star 80. In Star 80. And one movie where you had your name above the title whether you wanted it or not. Right.
Starting point is 00:45:07 It's actually two, but go on. Okay. Stooge Mania. Ah, Stooge Mania. Well, I haven't finished watching it yet. The problem was I saw the beginning. It was so bad. Someone asked if they could borrow my copy,
Starting point is 00:45:27 and I said, sure, and that was like 22 years ago. You played a guy obsessed with the Three Stooges. The Three Stooges, yeah. Doesn't he see the Three Stooges? Doesn't he have any hallucinations of seeing the Three Stooges in his normal life? I guess that's what they were driving for. Don't forget, I never saw the movie.
Starting point is 00:45:46 That's right. I read the script. So you basically knew what you were doing when you were doing it. The check cleared. I knew what I was doing? Yeah, I mean, you knew this was not the next Citizen Kane when you – Oh, I didn't think it was, no. I didn't know how it would turn out, but it turned out hateful, I thought.
Starting point is 00:46:05 I mean, it starts off with urinating and stuff i mean it's just not i don't know i but you got to work with sid caesar yes i did and that's a sad thing that that sid caesar would wind up in stooge working with me yeah well I resent that remark. Yeah. I thought he, I think he probably had some drug problems in his life. Oh, yeah. And he was not taking drugs then. And we were sitting together and he would go, you know, if you do it and it's bad for you, don't do it. You know, if it's making your life miserable, stop it. And, you know, he was giving these lessons from his life.
Starting point is 00:46:57 You know. It wasn't Mousy Garner in Stooge Mania who had also worked with the – Who? Mousy Garner was a vaudevillian actor who had worked with Ted Healy in his original Stooges. Does the name ring a bell? He was in Stooge Mania. It does not, but maybe I wasn't paying attention. That is also possible.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Oh, God. What was the other movie that you had your name on? Oh, it was called Windy City, which is actually a comedy about me dying, I suppose. No, it was starring John Shane, Kate Capshaw, and me. So I was above the title. Oh, I like that picture. It's sort of a Big Chill kind of a thing. Armie and Bernstein make that movie?
Starting point is 00:47:43 Yes, you're right. Yeah, I know that picture. It's a good film. Not according to anyone else. They opened the film. What was that sound you just made? They opened the film in Chicago. Right.
Starting point is 00:47:59 And I looked at the grosses and variety and I saw how many theaters there were and I divided by the ticket prices. I calculated that 11 people per showing came to that in Windy City. The local support that they counted on did not show up. No, it was not a very big hit. Some people loved that movie. Yeah, I remember seeing it when it came out.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Some people love that movie. Yeah, I remember seeing it when it came out. Look, I went to a screening of that with a friend named Larry Price and my mother named Kate Mostel. And we took a cab home afterwards. And Larry said, what was the budget on that? I said, I think it was about $11 million or something like that. And they went, God, can you imagine spending money on stuff like that? And my mother said, yeah, it gets me furious. And they start yelling that people would spend money making that movie.
Starting point is 00:48:51 I was the star of it. You know, it's like, talk about home. I don't know, a life in show business. But anyway, it was not a big hit. Although I was recognized in Buenos Aires by a guy. No, a guy said, oh my God, El Hombre de Ciudad de Vente en mi casa. And he gave me a free poster, and he was so moved. And so there are a couple people that love that movie.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I think it's a film worth seeing. I had good memories of it. Well, bless you. It was the 80s, wasn't it? It was the 80s when it came out, Windy City. The 80s. The 80s. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:34 We'll have our team look it up. It's the 80s. I remember liking it. I'm going the 80s. Okay, well, thank you. You worked with someone who also worked with your father. A lot of people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:44 And this was George Segal A lot of people. Yeah. And this one was George Segal. Oh, yeah. He owes me money, by the way. George Segal owes you money. A little bit. How does he owe you money? Drug deal. But let's move on. You did a series with George Segal
Starting point is 00:50:01 called Murphy's Law. I did. I did a series called Murphy's Law. And let me I did a series called Murphy's Law. And let me tell you, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. We'd love to get him on the show, George Segal. Oh, yeah. He's nice. He's funny, too.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Yeah. Yeah, we worked on it. It was not appreciated, the series. And your dad did the Hot Rock with him. Yes, he did. Yeah. Yeah. Gilbert and i were talking about how much we liked zero in that movie oh yeah the hot rock i haven't seen that in a long time
Starting point is 00:50:31 yeah what i remember about the hot rock is i lived in crown heights at the time i was a kid in crown heights and they were filming it at the brook. And I would go there every night with my sisters to watch them film that. Oh, yeah? Well, it's one of those movies like the ones we talk about where you see old New York. Oh, yes, yes. And Ron Liebman and Siegel. And Paul Sand. Right.
Starting point is 00:50:57 And Seth Allen. Yeah. And I think Moses Gunn. Your buddy Moses Gunn, your favorite actor. Gilbert loves Moses Gunn. Really? Yes. Cool.
Starting point is 00:51:10 And since we talked about, this is something else that Gilbert and I are fond of, since we talked about Delta House, a failed series. One of many. We have to ask you about Year at the Top with two of our other podcast guests, Greg Evigan and Paul Schaefer. Yes. They had it on TV, but I had been fired by that time. Well, you were in the music video. I did the pilot.
Starting point is 00:51:35 And then they wised up and replaced me with, I don't know, an anatomic cat or something. I don't know what. We were watching. I was on the sketch. You had Greg know what. We were watching one of the musical scenes there. And Greg Evigan is, you know, he's singing. He's the handsome. Well, he's on the drums and Josh is playing the. And Don Scardino was the voice. Don Scardino.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Oh, yes. Right. He's the director now. Yeah. And Paul Schaefer is, he's there in like. Very funny. Yeah, he's there in a tight rubber suit. Well, you know, Paul, I mean, he's funny, but he's a little strange.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Long hair. It was his Elton John face. Yes, yeah, the Elton John glasses. And you were playing the fiddle. I mean, we were doing the research for Greg Effigant, and you turned up. I do play the violin. Yeah. In fact, in Harry and Tonto, I have a little violin playing going on.
Starting point is 00:52:29 If you want to rent that, you can see me play the violin. There's a music video of you and Greg and Paul and Scardino doing a song from You're at the Top. It's just surreal. It's worth watching. Really? For the wrong reasons That's why I got in the business I'll tell you a great story
Starting point is 00:52:53 About the violin I think it's a great story I knew a little funny thing It's the thing I do in Harrington Where I play And then you do a left hand pizzicato while you twirl your bow. The weasel, you know? And it's very funny to look at because you're making sound while you're not playing the
Starting point is 00:53:15 violin, it seems. And I was in the New York Youth Symphony Orchestra when I was in high school. And in Carnegie Hall, we had a concert, and the soloist was Itzhak Perlman. And I wasn't a great violinist, but I was good enough to be able to recognize genius. And I loved him, and he played so well. And I was sitting right next to him. I was in the first stand of the seconds. And at one point, I walked up and said, Itzhak, my name's Josh Mostel, and let me show you something. If you ever go on Johnny Carson, this is a great thing to do. And I did.
Starting point is 00:53:47 And I did this funny little left-handed pits thing. And he laughed. And I said, use it. Do whatever you want. It's yours now. And he did it on Johnny Carson. Oh my God. Yeah, that's my claim to musical fame. Other than the here at the top
Starting point is 00:54:04 thing. You should check out the video. Are you writing things you're going to apologize to? Yeah, I'm going to apologize to you about. Yeah, tell us a little bit about Bruno. Because Gilbert and I enjoyed him. Loved him in The Freshman. He was very sweet.
Starting point is 00:54:24 His father was a... Oh, Bruce Kirby's his father, right? Who's also an actor. Do I have that right? I didn't know all this stuff. Yeah, he was an actor, but he was also a maitre d'. That I didn't know. I think a maitre d' somewhere. I mean, Bruno had sort of a maitre d' personality in some ways that I think he got from his father.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Like, if you went to his house, he was very solicitous. He would always help you. Can I get you anything? He was very nice like that. He was just a sweet guy but I was there when he and Billy Crystal he got furious at Billy.
Starting point is 00:55:00 He never yelled at him but he wouldn't do the sequel because Billy insulted him. What did he say? You know something? He never yelled at him, but he wouldn't do the sequel because Billy insulted him. Oh. You know. What did he say? You know something? It was a little scene, and Bruno had a line, and before he said the line, he very carefully wiped his mouth and then said the line.
Starting point is 00:55:19 And I think Billy went, pretended to yawn, like off camera or something like that, or described it. And Bruno was, I mean, he never reacted. He was a real gentleman, Bruno. He never reacted, but he turned out a million dollars for the sequel. Wow. He wouldn't do it. On principle. How about that?
Starting point is 00:55:39 Yeah, he didn't want to. How about that? And he was best friends with Billy before that. Well, yeah, he was in Harry Met Sally, too. Yeah. Well, then they worked together. Right. And he was the young Clemenza in the Godfather sequel, which people forget.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Yes, yes. And you worked with Meryl Streep. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sophie's choice. I don't think she looked at me once in that. But, you know, her character wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:56:04 I mean, Meryl's not the kind of... Well, I'll tell you a great story about Meryl. God, I'm giving away all my secrets. I want to save a little something for someone somewhere. But I'll tell you this story. There was a scene in Sophie's Choice where Sophie and Nathan, I think his name is, are having a big fight.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Nathan, of course, has mental problems. Anyway, all day they were rehearsing stage combat. They said, it's a big violent scene. We're not going to block it out. And they were going to shoot. We were going to start inside the house and run out in the street. And they just put a camera in the street and lit up the street in Brooklyn. And they were just going to shoot it in the master and shoot it on the street. This yelling and screaming scene about he calls her a cunt and throws money at her and runs off.
Starting point is 00:57:02 And then Stingo comes up to me and says, what happened? I go, he's Miss Sugar now. Oh, he threw money at her and called her a cunt and throws money at her and runs off and then Stingo comes up to me says what happened I go he's Miss Sugar now oh he threw money at her and called her a cunt you know and the same thing that happened I repeat and it was ultimately cut out of the movie but uh but anyway the big violent scene and so it started with Stingo outside um Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline inside and me inside, and all the crew was outside. And they go, all right, we got light, we got speed. And right before they call action, Meryl turns around and hits Kevin Kline in the face. Whap! And Kevin, he closes his feet, and then she runs out the door.
Starting point is 00:57:42 And he runs after her, you know. But it's like she just hit him. She wanted a little reaction from him, and I'm not sure she even got it. Wow. But, you know, she's a – I would say she's a killer. Not maybe literally, but, you know, something she's going to be good. And if you're not on the program, you better get on it. You think she's going places.
Starting point is 00:58:10 She's a smart, tough cookie, I would think. Meryl. That's my Meryl story. Meryl hitting Kevin. Anybody else you want to know about? Well, I want to ask you about Radio Days, which is a film that I love very much. And you were hilarious as Uncle Abe, the fish-obsessed uncle. The fish-obsessed uncle.
Starting point is 00:58:32 The one thing I'm – oh, my God. Show business is hard. I remember – Do you feel that way about this show? No, this is pretty easy. Okay, good. I'm talking. I can talk.
Starting point is 00:58:46 We appreciate it. They were uh uh let's see how do we tell this uh uh what am i talking about oh a radio day so there was a scene where uh i go off and i i the neighbors are making a lot of noise on uh holy day, on Yom Kippur. And, you know, you're not supposed to play the radio. And they're playing the radio. And I go over there to yell at them and say, you know, put it out. And I come back and I'm a communist, you know, like them. They seduce me with apple pie or cherry pie. And, you know, why are we being quiet?
Starting point is 00:59:24 It's them. You know, it's you know and i why are we being quiet it's them it's the you know and it's it's a very funny scene and uh we were doing take after take after take and i would kind of what do you go all right just try to do the lines as fast as you can i had a lot of lines and i would do them and do them 18 20 22 takes and then finally we finish it and uh the the the um the the person the uh the coordinator who you know the script supervisor that's the word the script supervisor says uh do you want us to print any of the last four takes he goes no and you know i feel terrible i mean i just felt like i like i had let him down and that wasn't any good. And he never said anything. He's not a very verbal kind of guy in a lot of ways.
Starting point is 01:00:08 But I think he just didn't like his writing. But you're an actor. You feel everything's about you. Sure. I kept thinking before taking it, I don't have to do this for a living. I don't have to do this for a living. But apparently I do. I love the Edgar Bergen thing.
Starting point is 01:00:27 He's a ventriloquist on the radio. How do you know his lips not – he's not moving his lips. And that was an interesting thing because the script, which I never saw, of course, but apparently the beginning of the movie – it starts with a great joke when people are robbing a house and they steal all the furniture. But a phone call comes and it's a quiz show.bing a house and they steal all the furniture. But a phone call comes and it's a quiz show. It's great. And they answer the question and these people come home and all their furniture is stolen. And a day later, all new furniture comes.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Right. That's great. A quiz show. And that originally I think was on page 80. And the opening of the movie apparently I hear second hand, was a foggy day when they spot a sub off of Coney Island. And they never got the foggy day. And they... So he just takes another thing from the middle and puts it in the
Starting point is 01:01:14 beginning. You never saw the complete script? He would only give the actors their sides? I think they're special actors that get the whole script. But the unspecial actors, like... I'm raising my hand for those of you on the radio, we just got our sides. Well, the game show comes back later because Diane Weiss shows up on the game show
Starting point is 01:01:33 and she stumbles onto the fish category. She knows everything. You remember this in the movie? No, I don't. She knows everything about fish. Let's see it again. Oh, it's just such a terrific movie. Yeah, that was a nice one.
Starting point is 01:01:44 No, folks, see Radio Days if you haven't seen it. Yeah, see everything. Do everything. And our pal Danny Aiello is funny in that. We had Danny on the show, too. Danny? Aiello. Oh.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Who's funny in that. Yeah. It's a very sad ending. I mean, that film moves me because it's really about dying art. It's about radio going away. It's dying radio. What the hell am I doing here? This is not radio.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Where are the cameras? I keep wondering. There's that great bit at the end, the dialogue where he says, with every passing New Year's Eve, their voices get dimmer and dimmer. I remember we just had the sides, and who played my wife?
Starting point is 01:02:29 Oh, gosh. Was it Wendy Jo Sperber? No. No, who I'm thinking of. She was great. Oh, she's funny. Yeah, she is. I can't think of her name. Anyway. We're Googling it. We were just, we were talking and you know, we're saying, well, how should we do this?
Starting point is 01:02:43 Well, let's use this Long Island accent. I mean, they're Jews from Long Island. So we have this Brooklyn accent we were talking and uh you know we're saying well how should we do this well let's use this long island as i mean the jews from long you know so we have this brooklyn accent we were doing and uh the first time we ran through it what he says so let's one-two-one through it and and we do with this brooklyn accent and what he says are you gonna do that and i said uh not now so we did not use any kind of discernible accent but it's funny i think he's not the kind of person that would tell you to not to give notes and say don't do it like that he's the kind of person that would just fire you and get someone that did it the way you like it but uh he certainly didn't like our first run through. I heard that Woody is the kind of director that will hire an actor, like a lead actor, and somewhere in the middle of the movie just get rid of him. Well, he's done that a bunch of times, I think. I think it's because he doesn't want to really get into a thing where I tell you what to do.
Starting point is 01:03:43 He doesn't want to negotiate maybe with an actor like most directors do. He just says, it's not working. We'll do it. I think he looks for someone to bring it all to the project. But I really don't know. But he was certainly a talented guy, isn't he? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Was it Renee Lippin? Oh, yeah. Rene. Rene Lippin. Yeah. Yes, Rene. I apologize. No, I apologize. I think it Renee Lippin? Oh, yeah. Rene. Rene Lippin. Yeah. Yes, Rene. I apologize. No, I apologize.
Starting point is 01:04:07 I think she was Wendy Jo Sperber. Well, I should have known her name. I mean, you know, one of my favorite wives. Terrific film. And the cast is just, it's actually the only Woody Allen film that has both Mia Farrow and Diane Keaton in it. So it's notable for that. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:21 And Julie Kavner. Julie Kavner's great. Michael Tucker's great. The Simpsons. Yeah. All nine yards. Julie Kavner's great. Michael Tucker's great. The Simpsons. All nine yards. I love that picture. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Gilbert? I guess we'll just do a quick see if there's anyone left out. Oh, I just remembered something. What? I did a voiceover for this commercial for ESPN with the dogs playing cards. And I didn't work with him, but one of the other voices was Art Carney. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:04:54 Another dog. And now you just stirred something in my head that this woman who was doing the recording, in my head that this woman who was doing the recording, oh, the recording people there were going, that he was doing the thing like a bride on her honeymoon farting. Yeah. There you go. It's all coming back.
Starting point is 01:05:21 There you go. Can you imitate the fart? Oh, it would be very dainty. And it would be hidden. It would be like a minuscule fart. A minimalist fart. Can I give you some actors and you see if you can imitate their farts? Oh, I hate stealing another actor's routine. Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Let's do it. I'm free ball guard. You know, a masculine fart. I don't care. I'm just going to fart. Vincent Price. It sounded a little like an elk, wouldn't it? An elk.
Starting point is 01:06:03 You know, like, ba-dee-dum, ba-dee-dum, ba-dee-da-da-da-da-da-da. You know, something like that. A clarion call to arms, perhaps. Something like that. A brando.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Brando. Yeah. It would be a grunt fart. And then when you think it's over, it kind of wouldn't end. You know, I think it would be a repeater. They're called repeaters
Starting point is 01:06:33 in the... Clark Gable. Clark Gable. Well, he had those ears. I think if he really farted, his ears would flap. You know, maybe you would have a fart. I mean, I'm would have a flappity fart. I mean,
Starting point is 01:06:45 I'm just guessing here, you know. Al Pacino. Al Pacino. I mean, he would have a method fart. It depended what part he would play
Starting point is 01:06:55 and the man would fart in character. Right. You know, Dustin would probably crap his pants too, but he is really method. Now,
Starting point is 01:07:03 wait a minute. Speaking of Dustin. What? I mentioned Dustin? Yeah, here's method. Now, wait a minute. Speaking of Dustin. What? I mentioned Dustin? Yeah, here's something. Gilbert and I were talking. Was he originally cast, this is about your dad's film,
Starting point is 01:07:14 about the producers. Was he originally cast as the playwright in the Kenneth Mars role? Because that's what we heard. I don't know. And left to be the graduate. I don't know. No. If he did, he made the right choice.
Starting point is 01:07:28 No, I have no idea about that. Okay, more importantly. Meryl Streep farting. Wouldn't she have someone to do that for her? I mean... You know, I've lived with women for decades and haven't heard them fart. You know, some people just...
Starting point is 01:07:53 Oh, I'll tell you a good fart story. Someone said to my mother, said, Katie, do you sleep late? She said, oh, no, I'm up with a 7 o'clock fart. You know, because Zero had, Zero's farts were, they were, you know, bull moose farts, I would say. Very similar to Teddy Roosevelt. Really? Really.
Starting point is 01:08:16 Bull moose farts. Really? You know, it would sound like a 7 o'clock fart. It was like the whole neighborhood would get up and, you know, anyway. That was mom. Mel Gibson fart. It was like the whole neighborhood would get up. Anyway, that was mom. Mel Gibson farting. Mel Gibson farting. Well, that's an anti-Semitic kind of a... I was wondering.
Starting point is 01:08:34 I don't know about me. Fart with a Nazi salute. Haven't we done farting yet? We're not done farting. No, we're not done. Okay. How about your fart? Describe your fart.
Starting point is 01:08:44 What's your fart like? Your fart, you fart with a little staccato. It's a little staccato fart, don't you think? Hilarious. I'm out of questions. You're out of questions? Yeah. Well, I have 14 answers to go, so just, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:03 All right. Well, yeah, whatever you want. I'm your farting servant. I was going to ask you a lot of obscure stuff, but that's probably a better way to close. While we're on it, Robert Mitchum farting. Well, gosh, I don't know what Robert Mitchum. I think it would be... It would be short. You know,
Starting point is 01:09:30 I'm not interested in farting, son. You know, if you want one, there it is. This program brought to you by Heinz Beans. If you have... Oh Beans. Good for... If you have... Oh, Lord.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Very funny. Well, Brian Koppelman was right. He was? He told us you got to get Josh on the show, and here you are. And you delivered. Oh, God. Brian, baby. Was Brian owe you something?
Starting point is 01:10:02 You told us? Oh, yeah. Yeah, my book. Get it back. An Amarillo Slim book. You know, he's a card player. Yeah, yeah. We saw Rounders, which you were in.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Yes, I was. We had a whole bunch of weird stuff, but we'll do it another time. Okay. On a second show. Okay. Okay. Okay. You want to wrap the show
Starting point is 01:10:25 As me? Wrap the show as you How do you wrap the show? I've never heard of it Hi, I'm Gilbert Godfrey Hi, I'm Gilbert Godfrey And you're not So why don't you stay
Starting point is 01:10:40 Listen, just listen next week Because it's even going to be funnier We've got a guy who Who doesn't imitate farts Just listen next week because it's even going to be funnier. We've got a guy who doesn't imitate farts. He actually farts. And you won't be able to smell it because it's radio. And we haven't even thought of how to make the fart smells go over the airwaves. So that will be good.
Starting point is 01:11:03 I love it. It's Gilbert by way of young Jerry Lewis. That's great. Oh, well. Funny. I guess that's pretty much it. We've covered it all? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:21 Okay. I want you to know my wife's favorite movie line is Scoop of vanilla, scoop of chocolate Don't waste my time People ask me all the time Do they? What goes with this? Ask the writers I'm just a mere actor Babaloo
Starting point is 01:11:36 That was a good script Good stuff, Josh Thank you for doing it I'm Gilbert Gottfried and Frank Santoro. No, no. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. You knew he was going to do that. I am.
Starting point is 01:11:51 Not that guy laughing. Can you say, and we've been talking to zero must. We've been talking. Not now, I can't. The son of zero. Way to go, Gilbert. You really fucked that one up. This is Gilbert Gottfried, and we've been talking to Josh Mostel, who's sitting on two
Starting point is 01:12:16 seats next to me. And thank you very much, Josh. Oh, you're welcome, Gilbert. Okay, come back. And by the way, we have an honorarium of $12,000 for you. Oh, that's very generous, Gilbert. I knew you'd like it. $12,000.
Starting point is 01:12:35 I could dream, Gilbert. Wow. Yeah, really. I could dream. Thank you, Josh Mostel. This was fun. I can't top that. Thank you, Josh Mostel.
Starting point is 01:12:42 This was fun. I can't top that. This episode is brought to you by Foscam. Do you want a cheaper alternative to an expensive and hard-to-set-up security system for your home? Then, the new Foscam C1 indoor Wi-Fi security camera is a cheap and reliable solution for indoor surveillance of your home or office. To learn more, go to www.foscam.us slash C1, where you'll be directed to our Amazon page. where you'll be directed to our Amazon page. And for a limited time, use the code GILCAST, that's G-I-L-C-A-S-T-1, to get $10 off, if you love that too, per camera. Again, the website is F-O-S-C-A-M dot U-S slash the letter C and the number one. POSCAM.
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