Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 94. Richard Belzer

Episode Date: March 14, 2016

Comedian, actor, author and conspiracy buff Richard Belzer joins Gilbert and Frank for an entertaining hour-plus conversation about the glory days of Catch a Rising Star, the "National Lampoon Radio Hour" and Richard's friendships with Gilda Radner, John Belushi and Bill Murray. Also, Gilbert and Richard remember "Thicke of the Night," extol the virtues of Jerry Lewis and look back at the Leno-Letterman late night wars. PLUS: Dick & Stinky! "The Groove Tube"! Andy Kaufman takes a nap! The return of "Dummy in the Window"! And the "Orson Welles of Comedy"! This episode is brought to you by Casper Mattresses. Go to http://Casper.com/GILBERT for 50 dollars towards any mattress Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star.

With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. Our guest this week is an actor. Wait, let me cross that off. Yeah, right. Our guest this week is an actor, writer, best-selling author,

and one of the most popular and influential stand-up comedians of the last 40 years. What about 41, 42 years? Oh, okay. I'm sorry uh that that's this must be next week's guest ah he's been in hit movies like fame scarface flex lives man on the moon and the groove tube and on dozens of tv shows including sat Saturday Night Live, Moonlighting, Lewis and Clark, Mad About You, 30 Rock, and South Park for 21 years. He played the cynical and acerbic police detective John Munch on nine different series.

Eleven. What? Eleven. On eleven different series. Eleven different series, making him the longest running character in the history of primetime television. in the history of primetime television. But of course, he'll always be known for his legendary work as one of my fellow recurring cast members

on the enduring late night classic, Thick of the Night. Mama don't turn the light out. Wait, wait, wait, let's start. On the count of three. My voice is a little hoarse. There's nothing I can do. What's the difference when it's not? Okay.

Yeah. Okay. On the count of three. Okay. Gilbert. General Godfrey. Yeah. I don't need the lady.

I'm in the room. Who's the lady? Mama don't need it. What was the other song? Wasn't there two themes? That's what I remember. Who's that Jew in back of you? Oh.

Now you're springing all these Jews on me. Who's the guy with the Boston hat? Yes, that's Neil. He's making a documentary about Gilbert, Richard. Oh, hi, Neil. Now, Richard. Nice talking to you, Neil. Okay, thank you.

Now, Richard. Fucking anti-Semite. I'm sorry, go ahead, Gus. Speaking of anti-Semitism.. Go ahead, Jeff. Speaking of anti-Semitism. Yeah, ask me if I'm a Jewish. Yes. Are you Jewish? Jewish. Anyway.

Now, oh, see, I fucked up the punchline. I fucked it up too. It's asking if I'm a Jew. No, let's start all over again. Let's start over. Ask me if I'm a Jew. Okay. Richard, are you a Jew? Jewish. Richard, are you a Jew? Jewish. Can you tell me?

Yes. Can you tell the audience, rather? Tell the audience how we met. Oh, well, I think you were 19 years old, and I was the emcee at rising star and that would be what 74 kill yeah it was early 70s yeah right and uh rick newman the owner of catch said uh you gotta see this kid he's great he does impressions and i said sure and i put you on and I remember you did you were really funny you did the Three Stooges and Beethoven right remember oh yeah wow I don't know that bit

yeah well why throw them out laughing laughing yeah so I'm still doing Eisenhower jacket jokes laughing anyway so no that's where we met I'm still doing Eisenhower jacket jokes. Anyway.

Anyway, so, no, that's where we met. And, God, you know, you started coming in almost every night and became a fixture. And I remember in the early day, well, up until we stopped going there, whenever Gilbert was on, all the comedians would rush out of the bar to see him. So one of those rare comics that the comics dug and also the audiences. Sometimes comics, you know, only other comics like them, present company excluded. But Gilbert, you know, met the needs of the audience, but also on some level really struck a chord in other comedians because he was so different and daring,

and yet he respected the form in his own bizarre way. Yeah, and he was found dead today in his New York apartment. Based down in a bowl of Cheerios. Yes, neighbors were complaining about the stench emitted from the apartment. It wasn't him, the stench. No, but I... Was that a eulogy? Yeah, I remember... What do you remember about it?

That I used to go on stage and I would imitate Jerry Seinfeld. And he was totally unknown at the time yeah and he was imitating Larry David oh yeah you're going for a generation but I would I would do a Jerry Seinfeld imitation for instance and and I remember it was like the audience and the other comedians would all run in. The bartenders and waitresses would be laughing hysterically in the back when I was imitating Seinfeld. And Seinfeld would get pissed off, and he'd stay in the bar pacing back and forth going, That doesn't sound anything like me why does he make me sound like i have a sing-song voice

richard rick rick was telling me that that uh he was so impressed when he first met you as your ad-libbing ability and he said it was an interesting analogy he said it was love at first sight like actually a lightning bolt hit him like when you meet a girl ah which i found interesting and you became the mc you became the regular mc there bill mayor remember the remember that other mc gilbert oh bill maher not bill maher but Gilbert. Oh, Bill Maher. Not Bill Maher, but Bill Mayhew or Bill... That's how great he was. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen... There was a Bill Maru. Bill Maru. That's the guy, yeah. And Bill Maru.

Wait, Richard. Yes. Very important. Yes. He sang a song that he wrote. And I remember it to this day. That he wrote? Yes. What was it? Let me hear it.

Make me laugh and make me cry. Make me live until I die. No way. That's the way, baby. Tenderly. Let me love you forever.

I'm so happy that there is someone who'll give me love in return. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba. Now, did he do it seriously? Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah, there's the tragedy. That was going to be his big hit.

Will Maru? Yes. My God. And remember Larry Ragland, all of a sudden? Oh, yeah, he's become a fixture on this show. Oh, so we've talked about Larry Ragland, all of a sudden? Oh, yeah, he's become a fixture on this show. Oh, so we've talked about Larry. I thought I saw a dummy in the window. But it was you wearing a new dress as usual.

Trying to look your best. Impossible. Nah. He's no longer with us. No. Did we lose Larry Reckland? Yes. Yeah.

OTWHF. Out the window head first. But you know, ladies and gentlemen. Rick said you had a bit, Richard, where you used to take ladies' purses and pocketbooks and just go through them on stage and riff. Yeah. Cute story about that. I was in San Diego working a club in Phoenix.

And Robin Williams was in town doing a much bigger venue, obviously. But he came to see me. But before he came, I had come out on stage and there was a guy in the audience with a backpack. And I said, let me see that. And I grabbed it and I started rummaging through it and riffing and doing jokes about the guy's address book and, you know, all this stuff that I found in there. And, you know, like five minutes, six minutes, which is a long time, you know, to do something on that. Anyway, so later Robin shows up and I, you know, I saw him and he came up on stage and he didn't see me do the backpack bit, but I see him go for it. I go, shit, what's he going to do?

Then he does like 20 brilliant minutes on the backpack bit, but I see him go for it. I go, shit, what's he going to do? Then he does like 20 brilliant minutes on the backpack. There was another night where I was at the comedy store, and I got a woman's purse, and there was a joint in it. And I lit it up, and I started smoking it on stage, and Richard Pryor came on after me and said, you see my man richard shit smoking that shit but uh yeah no personal gilbert's a good ad libber too i mean if you find i don't believe in in um i just believe in finding things you know gilbert unfortunately

has to bring a ton of shitty props on stage. He's a fucking circus act. But aside from that, yes. Are you still doing the bit with the trays, Gil, and the Mickey Mouse? Money is money. Those started when I was at the clubs, and these big

serving trays would always be around that the waitress the waitress is used so i would just grab them and see what would pop into my head at the time so that's what i mean about finding something and then turning into something else and that's kind of writing on your feet and i remember they had a bookcase at catch rising star in the back of the stage. And I used to pick stuff out of there. Uh-huh. Remember Andy Kaufman would start reading

F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, what was it? Oh, The Gatsby. The Great Gatsby. He'd start reading The Great Gatsby. Like, you know, in Hollywood at the improv. and kept reading it until like half the audience left just read the read read the fucking thing for like you know 10

15 minutes and i said yeah i remember i saw andy kaufman go up on stage at the improv, and he started going, a hundred bottles of beer on the wall, a hundred bottles of beer. And at first they were laughing, and then he did the entire 100 bottles of beer on the wall, and people were screaming and cursing. One time he came out on stage and unrolled a sleeping bag and got in it and just went to sleep.

Now, do you remember how Larry David used to get into fights on stage? The audience. Yes. fights on stage the audience yes well i mean one time and i this this is a guess semi-famous story where i think lily tomlin was in the audience and he somebody was was heckling him and he's he said something like yeah why don. Do you remember that? I remember one time Larry David was on stage, and he got into a fight with somebody in the audience. Right.

And this guy goes, your mother fucks my dog. And Larry goes, oh, yeah? Well well i bet your dog doesn't like it remember he used to do the thing about going to court for masturbating going to court for masturbating oh yes like you know he i had he did it on um i had him do it on our properties and it was like 18 minutes long and then he doesn't like they get his mother they get his mother on stand and the prosecuting attorney goes mrs david have you ever been to israel answer the question have you ever been to israel you can bail me out whenever you want i don't mind bombing with other people's material it doesn't hurt me at all now i also remember you in the old days right uh know, when you open for Fanny Bryce. He was very nice to me, by the way.

Fanny Bryce. Before you would go on stage, you would, like, inhale an entire can of whipped cream. Well, I don't remember that, but I don't deny it. No, yeah, you know what? I used to do that at Catch, you know. The Chinese cooks would put the can out for me. You know, they thought I was insane. That was the place where if you went in the kitchen, you yelled immigration.

You know, it caused quite a stir. That joke's from the 50s. But, yeah, no, I used to, you know, do a shot. What's in that, nitrous something or other? I would do a shot of it because, in reality, I think we're all a little bit terrified of going on, even, you know. So, anyway, I'm just making an excuse for getting high and going. Speaking of rub, rub wasn't terrified at all. That explains the heroin and cocaine.

Yeah, exactly. It was all artistically related. Speaking of Robin Williams, Richard, did you and Robin used to do a doo-wop thing when Belushi would do Joe Cocker? Did you do like a backup singer thing? Yeah. Robin, yeah, there was one time I remember where Belushi and I were singing Doo-Wop, and Robin was signing it, which is pretty funny.

And, yeah, no, Belushi loved coming up on stage, and there was one night where it seemed like everybody was in the audience and came up. One night I remember at the comedy store after Richard Pryor's accident, he had not gone on stage at all. And he was in the audience and I was on stage and I got him to come up on stage. And we were doing improvs and stuff and i remember uh a young jim carrey came on stage with just a sock on his genitals like you know what how else can you top richard prior you know it's like he was just trying to upstage us and he he came out, and Richard Pryor leaned over to me and said, let's go. So we just walked off stage.

But it was a great night because I got Richard back on stage. You know, it was great. And you, because I had the pleasure of improvising with Robin Williams on stage a few times. And you've done that a bunch of times. Yeah, well, one time, fortunately, we got it on video, where we're doing Casablanca. Oh, yeah. He was doing Peter Lorre, and I was doing Bogart, but at the same time.

So you start doing Peter Lorre, you know, Rick, do you trust me? No. Do you despise me? And do you remember that scene where he said... You despise me, don't you? Remember they came in and they let... No, you got to keep going. Oh, you despise me, don't you? I'm looking for some letters of transit.

Yes, and I remember I had to buy the pearls. I'm not a parasite, but I'm just giving the people what they need. How about Stinky? Oh, we used to do. Yes, you did, Joe Besser. Stinky is legendary. Dick and Stinky.

I would sit on your lap, and we'd be a ventriloquist team. We did that one year at that big place in L.A. Oh, where they did the, for the homeless. Are there still homeless, by the way? Yeah. Yeah, no. No, it actually was for the homeless. Those were the only audience.

Oh, you did it for Comic Relief. Yes. No, it was just for the homeless. So. Watch it. So I remember. And you would talk. But what I remember is when we do it off TV.

Yes. You would do it in a Hasidic voice. No, stinky. Oh, Hitler should have killed all the Jews. Oh, he was a man with you. Dirt slid, dirt slid over, Holly. How many pairs went up?

Yeah, we used to do it very perverted. No, but you'd be really dirty. Now, Stinky, we're going to, you know, say hello to the audience, Stinky. The audience could all go fuck themselves. Oh, hey, now, Stinky, that's not very nice. They could suck my wooden dick. Wait a minute.

They'll get splinters in their lips. What did you do last night? Well, last night I was fucking your mother in the ass. Oh, God, she had splinters in her pussy. What's the matter with you? I needed to tweeze her I was eating your mother's rancid cunt. Oh,

that was you. I thought it was Woody Woodpecker. Anyway, I think we should revive that. Yes. Well, now that Otto and George are gone, there's a vacuum. Are they gone? Yeah, Otto passed away. No, the dummy's still gone.

The dummy died, but the guy's still... No, wait. The dummy's still around. Yeah, the dummy's around. Maybe he can work. You know what I used to love was Ventriloquists, when they came out, they'd only use one microphone. Yeah. And I would say, the whole fucking thing's out of the bag.

You got to have the microphone for the dummy and for the guy, right? Don't you think? It just blows the whole illusion. So did you work Vegas at all? I've worked Vegas a couple of times. I was never a steady Vegas performer. Right, like did you do when Steve Schirrippa ran the end spot?

Oh yeah, yeah, I worked with him. Right? I did work with Steve Schirria ran the end stop. Oh, yeah, yeah. I worked with him. Right? I did work with Steve Chiripa. Yeah, yeah. Who later on went on to be on The Sopranos. Yeah. He became a really good actor. He's a great guy. But he wore a tuxedo and he ran this club.

It was like his side cast. It was more mafiosa than The Sopranos was. Yeah, he was. It was the real deal. He wasn't acting like some musicians who will go unnamed. If you had him on The Sopranos acting and dressing like he did in real life, the audience would complain it was too phony. Who's this guy? Who does he think he is well that's the danger of stereotypes i guess why you have to stand out

so have you seen seen letterman's beard oh yeah oh he's gonna come out of the closet no no no no i'm breaking the story here yeah i've seen the beard and but it's gigantic oh yeah it looks it looks like he can unhook it off his ears at any point right right but i think it's like he's so relieved he doesn't have to shave every day and put on a suit and you know every you know every night after the show he'd look at the ratings of Jack Rollins and, you know, he'd stress over it. And now he realizes, you know, what the fuck was I stressing about? You know, he's like relaxing. What was weird with Leno is back then,

the war of Leno, Letterman, and Conan was the most important thing in the world. Yeah, it was like a NATO conference. Yes. And the whole thing was Conan saying he won't go on at 12.05. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

But what is it? Is it like the Vatican nightly show that if it doesn't go on at a certain time everyone will go to hell it's like the tonight show was over when johnny carson left it's not the sacred church that everyone you know made it out to be anymore it's a franchise and and jay was you know phenomenally lucky to last that long you know and and the idea that conan wouldn – he got the gig and it would be from 12 to 1 instead of 11.30. And so, you know, and then Leno behind – it was like Shakespearean. You know, it was like Leno behind the scenes pretending he didn't want it but really does want it. And then, you know, one time he was in the bathroom when Warren Littlefield was in another room and he didn't know he was there and he's

spying on these people and it's like this whole intrigue over the tonight show and i well i always thought it's like why do they all get so angry it's like well like letterman would get angry like that he has the letterman show but he doesn't have the tonight show well he got over that you know johnny carson told him you know take take it man take cbs take the show because david at first was thought he had lost but if you remember when he when he first did uh the letterman show on cbs he was beating Leno in the ratings. He came in really strong, and

then for some reason, Hugh Grant's blowjob got Leno on the map and never went away. Yeah, that was a strange turning point. The numbers just shifted after that Hugh Grant interview, but Dave was hip about it. They took that big billboard in Times Square and he said, number three in late night.

Oh, yes. He really treated it okay. Meanwhile, he's making hundreds of millions of dollars for the network. Forget the ratings. He's still generating all this money. It's interesting you talk about the beard and him kind of dropping out, Richard,

because there was an interview published this week and I found it interesting that he said at this stage of life, he's embarrassed that he was driven by his ego for so long. Oh, well, he's being too hard on himself. He was great at what he did. He should be proud and take this time. I think he'll go through another stage where he doesn't resent having done it all those years. resent having to done it all those years but he was made out to be like this evil villain when they would talk about the wars between them and i always i never quite got that i never got it either and i think that was probably uh leno's um you know publicity machine publicity machine, leaking stories.

I don't know. I never got that from David that he was livid at Leno. I think at one point, he would do jokes about Leno once in a while. But I remember when Leno said, remember when Leno announced

in five years I'm leaving the show, which was one of the most bizarre... Do you remember that, guys? Yes, yes. It was like, the next night Letterman comes on and he goes, yeah,

he'll need a vacation in five years. He's not being let go. But what a weird deal that was. We will what I mean? It's like that. But what a weird deal that was. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Bet mode activated.

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At Miele, our partner is the planet. Our appliances use less water and energy and are tested to last for 20 years of use. That's the ultimate form of sustainability. I'm Nelson Fresco, President of Miele Canada. From now until June 30th, every Miele dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of canadian forest through the mila forest initiative join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow visit mila.ca to learn more i i remember what stuck with me with the five-year thing i used to be like this semi-regular that Leno would have in the opening sketches.

Yeah, yeah. Like these, they dressed me as Queen Elizabeth. I remember you did Jeopardy skits and all kinds of things. And I'd be Queen Elizabeth, King Kong, all these different characters. Not a stretch for you. No. Neither one. And when he announced he'd be leaving in five years, even then I was going, oh, my God, in five years I won't be doing this.

And you start worrying five years in advance. It's like China has the five-year plan. They think ahead. What a ten-year plan. Jay had a five-year plan. think ahead what a 10-year plan jay had a five-year plan but i what is he doing now gigs i guess he does like 300 gigs he's got that car show that he's doing on i think cnbc jay leno's garage yeah so what 11 people watch that yeah it's like seinfeld not a slam that's not a slam yeah seinfeld is uh comedians in cars yeah and then jay leno is uh cars in my garage so it's like so what should we do you and i should

do something uh get like a cinnamon roller skates i've seen them on skate skates. I've seen them on skateboards. Do you know, I once, I'm so proud of this. Yes. One time on some Nazi propaganda site, they gave a list. They were exposing who's a Jew. And they exposed me as a Jew. That's a proud moment. Yeah, because it was always so well hidden. It was always so well hidden that I was a Jew.

And they had me with people like Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg. Anybody with a Berg. And I remember they had Jamie Lee Curtis. And it said, Jamie Lee Curtis, actress and daughter of Tony Curtis. Daughter of Tony Curtis, whose real name was Bernieernie schwartz yeah from brooklyn oh and one story that i talked about that frank asked me oh yeah because it's so good what's that i think he told it on on richard show on your show you had that tv show i think it lasted half an episode

or something it was canceled during the first commercial break, but fortunately you were on it. During the introduction, during the opening monologue, they canceled it. No, we're talking about the other show. Richard Bowser's Conversation.

That's the one, right. One time, Elie Wiesel, who was that, he was a famous writer. Yeah, the author of Night. Yes. Right, right. One time, Elie Wiesel, who was a famous writer. Yeah, the author of Night. Yes. Right, right.

And he used to write about his experiences. He himself was a concentration camp survivor. Survivor. When he was a little child, he was in the camps. Right. And his parents and the rest of of his family brothers and sisters and grandmother all perished in the concentration camps so he was talking about that and you know very sad you know well you know gives you this feeling in the pit of your stomach and chokes you up. And the host was one of these typical daytime hosts with like the processed hair that looks

like the helmet hair and a nice suit and cap teeth. And he asked him, he goes, if you had any wish in the world right now, what would that wish be? And Elie Wiesel said, I would wish that people wouldn't just stand by. He goes, the Holocaust happened because people just stood by. Atrocities in the world continue because people just stand by and the host puts his hand on elizal's knee and turns to the camera and he goes and we're gonna ask you to stand by while we make this commercial break. It's so good. Incredible.

And I thought, of all the bad taste things I could come up with, I couldn't top that by a mile. Right, and you get in trouble. Yes. I remember watching it with my jaw hanging open. Do you remember who that was? I don't. Let's see if we can find it. Yeah. Yeah, we should search that and track that guy down.

I was in a daze. Incredible. Oh, after seeing him? Oh, yes. Yes. Another great thing that we talked about on my show, which is on YouTube, by the way, Richard Belzer's Conversation, Gilbert was telling the story about when is humor appropriate and how he had to, there was a roast right after 9-11, and Gilbert did this legendary reading of the

aristocrats joke, which, you know, became a kind of cathartic for the audience and was really, you know, a great moment, you know, culturally and comedically. I was very proud of Gilbert, who inadvertently filled that gap and that void in the best way possible. And we were saying at the end of this talk, in recounting it, Gilbert said, yeah, okay, you know, Al-Qaeda bombed us and they're supposed to terrorize us. Here's what we're doing. We're writing jokes about it. So, you know, bomb us again to terrorize us. Here's what we're doing. We're writing jokes about it. So, you know, bomb us again. We'll write some more fucking material.

Not that they should bomb us again. But what you did had the opposite effect of what they wanted is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I always kind of felt like then. to al-Qaeda or the Taliban is after they bombed the World Trade Center and they go well what are the Americans doing now and if you said the Americans are just laughing about it. Yeah. That's how much you affected them. Anyway. Because I remember I started out

in that. In the roast, I said I wanted to start with a bad taste joke. Of course. And I said, I have to leave early tonight. I have to catch a flight to L.A. I couldn't get a direct flight. We have to make a stop to LA. I couldn't get a direct flight. We have to make a stop at the Empire State Building.

And they were booing and hissing and one guy screamed too soon, which I thought meant I didn't take a long enough pause between the setup and punchline. And then I do the aristocrats

and they're like howling and applauding and standing up, and it's so weird. Did that night, I've asked you this before, did that night lead to Penn and Paul's movie? Or they said they already had it in the works, and it just was a coincidence. I think they may have already had it in the works, and this was a coincidence.

I think. Gil, Penn told me the story about when he was making the movie. I mean, he made the movie. Yeah. And there was a screening in L.A. And he came out of the screening. And who was the announcer? Oh, Gary Owens.

Oh, Gary Owens. Do you know this story, Gil? From Ronan Martin's Laughing. It's beautiful downtown Burbank. So he comes out of the screening and says to Penn, you know, this is great, but I remember when I was really young and working, Jack Benny and George Burns would do the aristocrats to embarrass the secretaries in the office. Wow. And Penn said, you motherfucker. I'm never talking to you again.

Why didn't you tell me that so I could put it in the movie? Because can you imagine? Then he takes his cock and he puts it in her ass and it's on his son's head. And then he sees his finger in her ass and it's on his son's head. And then he sees his fingering carousel. And then he pisses on his daughter, you see. And then the father is licking his daughter's pussy. So you can imagine. And I remember he said, Penn told me when he was interviewing Gary Owens for the movie and he spent a day.

It was like pulling teeth. He did interview him. Oh, I didn't. Yeah, he interviewed him and couldn't get shit out of him. And then at the premiere. And he had that story. Hadn't the joke been around so long that there were different versions of it, or if it was called the Sophisticados?

Oh, yes. The Sophisticates. The Sophisticates, yeah. It's been traced back to, like, the turn of the century. I think Christ stole that joke. No, one of the apostles told it. At a dinner. Not the Last Supper, another dinner. You know, I still want to do, Gil, and we'll, God damn it, we'll do it.

The Last Supper, Last Supper, first roast. You know, you got that Da Vinci painting, you get comics dressed as all those people, and they all roast Christ. And then he gets up at the end and, like, is funnier anybody you told richard argue do that get the guy with the camera do you want to do let's do uh come on he's on you you can't see him but he's he's recording it you you told you told arguably the best roast joke ever which was uh and i don't want to tell the joke if i remember it's it was a joke about freddie roman's non-tv career do to tell the joke. At least if I remember. It was a joke about Freddie Roman's non-TV career. Do you remember the joke? Yes.

Jack Ruby had a longer TV career than Freddie. That's my favorite. I don't want to say his material is old, but I used to call him Freddie the Roman. That's wonderful. My favorite roast joke is um i did it a few times i i have to confess but the first time i did it was uh um the only time uh the only time bill maher has a funny bone in his body is when i fuck him in the ass that's a great one i did it about a couple other people.

And do you remember how many variations of Thick of the Night there were? It was one of those things, that horrible thing happens with TV shows, where rather than put them out of their misery, they start retooling. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they fired me and brought in Arsenio. Oh, yes. Wait a minute. Originally, it was Charles Fleischer.

Did we get fired? Did you get fired? I was fired. Yeah, I was too. Yeah. He was ahead of his time firing me because now I just continued getting fired. Well, actually, first I was fired from Saturday Night Live. SNL happened first,

right? Yeah. SNL, yeah. And then I was fired from... That's the precedent. Was it Chloe Webb, you, Richard, and Charles Fleischer? Yes. And Isabel Grandy. Okay. Yeah. And Mike Mike... Oh, yeah. what was his name?

The big Goyish guy. We used to ask him. The big sticker. We used to ask him, because he was the Goyim on the show, to pound on the door and go, Jews, gather your belonging. And what we both noticed is both of us used to try it and it never came across that way but when you had some big gentile do it it sent chills up your spine we couldn't do it we take us seriously were you you know that story go ahead go ahead rich no i know the story about liza minnelli um in the i think it was the 70s she was touring in Europe with her band

and um her husband at the time by the way told me this story years later uh they're touring all over Europe and they're working in Berlin in Germany and it turns out everybody in the band is Jewish and one of the guys I forget which one one, said, you know, what the fuck, man? What are we doing, you know, entertaining Germans? We're all Jews. You know what? And he's ranting about this. You know, we're Jews in Germany.

Don't we have responsibility? There's a knock on the door. And it was, is there any Jews in there? And they all just dropped to their fucking jaws. My God. Another knock at the door. Is there any Jews in there?

And they're like, they're fucking frozen. Liza wants orange Jews. Is there any Jews in there? Oh, God. True story. Liza wants orange Jews. oh god why is our aunt orange is there any jews in there

can you imagine if that was you and me it's so perfect in the middle of a nazi story to have barking dogs there.

They don't sound like shepherds, though. They're at the door. Harley's wrapping up what little we have. We don't have much time. The trucks are outside, so hurry up. I got one last joke for you. 300 Jews get on a truck. But, you know, ladies and gentlemen,

you remember, I think we talked about this on the phone the other day, Adam Keefe, when he used to do monster impressions, he did Bela Lugosi as a stand-up comic. You know, when one of the jokes bombed and he would go, these are the jokes. Well, Gil, you used to do the Bela Lugosi bit. Oh, I still do? When somebody asked what time it is, what was the bit?

Oh, Bela Lugosi, when he's not wearing a watch and you ask him what time it is. Pen. I remember that one. You know the story of Peter Laurie and Boris Karloff went to Lugosi's funeral and they're standing next to the casket

and Peter Laurie says to Boris Karloff, do you think we should drive a stake through his heart just to make sure? At his funeral i i heard a story that one time in like in their last years when legosi was staying in a hotel they put them in the same hotel room with tor johnson who if you remember from uh nine was that when they were making the black sleep oh yeah yeah and or or it might have been um plan nine and he was you know for people you everybody would know him immediately yeah he was actually a wrestler yeah yeah big Swedish Yeah. Yeah. Big, Swedish, Swedish, cheap monster movies. And one time,

uh, they said, Legosi, he was drugged out and drunken and depressed. And, and he was going, I don't want to live anymore. I just want to die. All I want is to die.

And Tor Johnson got fed up with him. And he picked Lugosi up in the air, carried him out to the balcony, and held him over the balcony. And he goes, Bela want to die? I kill Bela want to die? I kill Bela. And Lugosi goes, I go inside now. They should have put that in the Ed Wood movie.

They should have. I'm just thinking that. Fantastic. I go inside now. Richard, you... You know who used to be roommates at Chateau Marmont? Oh. Peter Lorre and Billy Wilder.

Wow. Isn't that wild? That's good stuff. Weren't they both Austrian? Well, perhaps. I don't know. I think so. No, wasn't Peter Lorre German?

Yeah, he was German. In fact, Peter Lorre escaped from Germany on the same boat as, oh, geez, what's the famous metropolis? Fritz Lang. Fritz Lang. Fritz Lang. Fritz Lang and Peter Lorre were on the same boat leaving for America. That's good stuff. boat leaving for America.

And when Fritz Lang was leaving, he was married. His wife, Fritz Lang's wife, tried to turn him into the Third Reich. Really? Yeah. I never heard that. That's great. You wanted to make a Lenny Raffenstahl

out of him? Oh, God. Yes. That fucking bitch, Lenny Raffenaffenstahl she was this woman director for the audience who doesn't know who used to do propaganda films but unfortunately she was a genius yeah there's a great documentary about her right and she lived to be like 99 or something ridiculously obscene age. Yeah, she lived forever. And it would always be she had no idea what Hitler was doing.

I don't buy that. That's not true. She's fully aware of what he was doing. Oh, I mean, it's like Hitler saying, oh, I didn't know I was gone. Oh, yeah, right, right. Were there that many? There was an interview.

One time, Melanie Griffith, she had done a World War II film. Oh, yeah. Espionage. Oh, yeah. Shining Through or something with Michael Douglas? Yes, yes. With Michael Douglas. Yeah.

Never saw it. Nor did I. So she had a read- on on world war ii okay so she did the research and she said in an interview i didn't know they killed six million jews even if you know she should have not said anything and then she buries herself even further when they said you didn't know about the six million jews and she goes well i thought maybe a few thousand jesus that's way off huh maybe a few thousand wow richard you want to talk at all about uh something i just some good stuff i found doing research was uh dick ballantyne and uh the wonderful lampoon stuff from from radio hour and that's not funny that's sick right well that was uh we had we did the National Amphibian Radio Hours. Me, Chris, Gilda.

Chris Guest. Chris Guest, I'm sorry. Brian, Doyle Murray, Billy Murray, sometimes Gilda and John and myself, O'Donohue sometimes. O'Donohue sometimes. And thinking of it, I haven't thought about it in a while, but it was so kind of ahead of its time. Not that I, you know. Very much so.

Yeah, it was very happy. It was very funny and dark, and it was satiric, and all the things that you want the lampoon to be in his glory days. And one time, you know, like John and I did a baby Brando's.

Yeah, it's on YouTube. People can see it. Oh, it is? Or listen to it. It's wonderful. Oh, yeah. But a lot of stuff came out of that. I mean, the way it started,

the Dick Ballantyne was a calling character. Dick Ballantyne, the best looking guy you'll ever hear. And I got the name because i was in an isolate i was in one little voiceover studio and everyone else was around a table with mics at a you know in the next studio and i told him i don't want to know any of the questions uh you know just let's just fly and i got the name because i was we drinking Ballantyne ale at the time for some reason. So I called myself Dick Ballantyne.

And then they just started calling me, you know, Billy and John and Brian. And it was, at the risk of being a modest, it was so much fun. And we got so much great material out of it. They're so good. I mean, I urge people to go to youtube and find this stuff yeah the album and uh that's not funny that's sick is has something like the greatest

that's the one with the frogs frog oh sam gross's famous cartoon right yeah with no legs you know now uh what do you remember about john belushi um his laugh his uh his big heart his um the things that people don't know about him like taking care of relatives in europe and and uh i did a play we did a show together the national lampoon show and i took harold ramis was the original cast was Harold Billy Murray Gilda and John and Brian Doyle I think yeah yeah Brian Doyle Murray I believe anyway and so Harold left and they brought me in to the cast and John found out I wasn't making what everyone else in the cast was making and he went to Ivan Rittman and said you know you gotta

you know you gotta pay him the same anyway but we John and I would go roam around New York City just like two 11 year old kids just looking for trouble we'd go to massage parlors just to eat the food and you know we got thrown out once.

We went in this one massage parlor, and we go in this one room. It's all like velvet rugs, and there's, you know, smoke and mirrors, literally. And the woman comes out saying, you know, you can have whatever you want. She describes all these different things, you know. And, now, what would you really like? And John said, can I get a roast beef sandwich? And so she called the manager right away. She didn't even do any more riffing.

Get out of here. And, yeah, we would do a lot of street stuff street theater you know if we needed a ride john would just step in the street and you know four cars would pull over if he wanted a ride he john was like i i none not to be corny but he was a guy that when you saw him you just you felt like some kind of connection with him you know it's like he he had this he was a like a force of nature he was just all this energy and he just wanted to like you know live and get everything out of the moment and in a lot of ways not all i'm talking about he reminds me of richard prior richard always wanted to play and discover things and you know it was like being around john was

was the opposite of kryptonite you know know, it was comedy speed or something without the drugs. And what about Gilda? Gilda was just the most, the sweetest, fragilest, but very funny. And she used to go with Bill Murray and he would, I shouldn't say what happened. Anyway, I'll tell you a cute story about the days when we did the Lampoon show. John had kept saying, you got to meet this guy. He's one of the funniest guys and was coming down. Dan Aykroyd, I hadn't met Dan.

This is like, you know, early 70s. And John's talking about Dan Aykroyd, Dan, and all fucking week. Wait till you see this. You know, they're all, everybody in the cast is saying, wait, Dan Aykroyd, Dan Aykroyd. So one night, Dan Aykroyd had motorcycled in from Toronto, like nonstop or some ridiculous fucking thing. So he comes into the dressing room,

and he sits down on the floor and passes out. So over the next week, I was saying to John, yeah, he's really fucking funny, your buddy that came. Yeah, oh, funniest guy in the world. Great. And it turned out to be, we used to call him the Orson Welles of comedy. That was Dan's nickname because he was so talented. He'd be writing, screen playing on the phone and doing three different things at once.

And Bill Murray? Billy was, he was a guy who just was fearless. And I remember one night when they were casting Saturday Night Live, we were out with Billy and I believe Lorne. And who was the guy who was the sports guy at NBC? Dick Ebersole. Exactly. Dick Ebersole was there and Chevy. And I forget who else was there.

But we were coming out of the dinner, and we're on 57th and 7th on the corner, and there was a gigantic puddle, like I really know how they can get in New York. And Chevy is handling a cab, and he just falls in the puddle just totally completely just to make us laugh you know it's this kind of commitment you know that is the moment where Ebersole said okay there's you know

and then we were in the bar and catch one night it was Bill it was Bill Murray that hit right are we talking about Chevy or Bill Murray Bill Murray well both either one It was Bill Murray that did it, right? Are we talking about Chevy or Bill Murray? Bill Murray. Well, both. Either one.

Either one. No, that was Chevy who did that. Oh, Chevy. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, you said Chevy. I have Alzheimer's disease. I forget my own. Alzheimer's disease.

I love that. The Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast Producer of the Month is Gregory Comer. Thank you, Gregory. Be just like Gregory and get rewarded for supporting our podcast. over to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried for a set amount each month. You can get some colossal benefits, access to new podcast episodes before anyone else, even us. Exclusive podcast merchandise, video hangouts, so you can see how beautiful we are. And just added, I will record a personalized roast of you and only you so you could share it with your friends

me telling you what a schmuck you are go to patreon.com slash gilbert gottfried that's patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash gilbert Gottfried. And thank you for your generosity. No, Billy, you want to hear about Billy? Yes. No, the same setup. I mean, no, Billy was what used to do this character, the honker. Do you ever see the honker? I'm not sure. No, I don't

think so. Oh, did you ever see the Lampoon show that I did? No. Anyway, he did this character who was a homeless guy who would like direct traffic and, you know, he would like heckle New York. Hey, Chrysler Building, big deal. You know, like he was

just this brilliant homeless guy who just did all these great rants. But he would do them in the street. He would do, you know, and people thought he was real. And he had that kind of craze. For some reason in the 70s, we used to do a lot of shit in the street or in restaurants or you know at for not for any audiences you know like after hours joints or you know the green

kitchen or some of the funniest shit was never seen was seen by six people. Still there, The Green Kitchen. It is? Still there. Yeah. You were in at least two movies without Pacino. Yeah. Yeah. I was in Author, Author, where I played the stage manager. And then I was in Scarface,

where I played myself as well. I played a comic at the Babylon Club. But I remember during... Well, I shouldn't say this. I played a comic at the Babylon Club. But I remember during – well, I shouldn't say this. Anyway, what else? I was just going to say about those Lampoon shows. I mean, they're really a precursor to Saturday Night Live. It's fair to say, as was the Groove Tube in 74.

Groove Tube was the direct inspiration for Saturday Night Live, according to Lorne. Yeah. Well, Lorne Michaels came to New York, and I set him up with one of my old girlfriends, and he knew that I – he met John, and he came to see the show, the Lampoon show, and he cast john and billy well he cast john and gilda and later bill and later billy but uh came out of that show so you know and michael o'donohue michael donahue yeah was in early on with with lauren and creating the saturday night live you've got to see those for for our listeners you've got to go to YouTube and see that stuff. Yeah, but you're right. It's all from the Lampoon. Yeah, but even the GrooveTube.

Well, that came out of Channel One with Chevy, right? That's right. And Ken Shapiro. Ken Shapiro. And also... Underground television. There was a video theater.

There were three black and white monitors. It was a 90-seat theater. You and white monitors there was a 90 seat theater you paid three dollars and uh we couldn't believe it you know 72 or whatever people paying to watch tv it was like yeah underground television and frank told me he found it that time i roasted you at the friars well it's on bells's website yeah you mean at the at the Friars. Well, it's on Bell's website. Yeah. You mean at the at the what's the hall where I did my town hall? Oh, yes. Yeah, that's the 2001 roast.

Yeah, town hall. That was in town hall. And now tell us the Al Pacino story, for Christ's sakes. Which one? You started to tell an Al Pacino story and then said, no, i shouldn't say that well all right i'll tell it but i think al uh won't well no never mind he and i robbed a bank one night at the method exercise and we shot the teller in the arm. I never said that publicly anywhere.

No. Anyway, what else? Oh, so, but you knew him somewhat, Al Pacino. Oh, yeah, yeah. There was one night where Joe Pesci, my good friend, brought all these people in to see me at Caroline's on 8th Avenue. my good friend, brought all these people in to see me at Caroline's on 8th Avenue. He brought in Christopher Walken and Peter, well, I knew Peter Rieger, Bobby De Niro and Christopher Lambert and who, I forget who else. I think Jilly was there, you know, Frank Sinatra's friend. Yeah.

Wow, Jilly Rizzo. Yeah, he was a big fan of mine, and I used to make fun of him, and De Niro would say, did you just do that tonight because he was here? No, I do it all the time. But, no, Al used to come and, you know, not make a beeline, but he saw me a few times and, you know, once wrote me a letter, which I have saved, which but he saw me a few times and once wrote me a letter, which I have saved,

which was he saw my HBO special and wrote me a great little note. I have no great stories about he and I balling up. Did De Niro study you, Richard? No, that's a myth. Yeah, it's on IMDb. I thought it might be bullshit.

Yeah, no, we were hanging out when he was getting ready and doing the movie. King of Comedy. Huh? King of Comedy. Yeah, King of Comedy was the movie we were talking about. No, it wasn't doing me at all. As a matter of fact, that takes credit away from his creation of this comic,

who, when you think about it, actually did get some stupid, some laughs in the guys, you know what I mean? Yeah. The movie was much more appreciated after it was in theaters. We've talked about it on this show. It's underrated. Yeah, it's one of those movies, I think they didn't like it, because there's something

very frustrating about every portion of the movie it's like the way the story goes isn't the way the audience wants it to go you know it's a very hard movie yeah like you you don't want deniro to win at the end because he's a bad guy but somehow you root for him yeah and Jerry's character is so sympathetic which brings us yeah Jerry Lewis you're you're you became friends with legendary comedian Jerry Lewis huge story about Raging Bull all the scenes where you see the the Tony Randall Tonight Show youall Tonight Show, the show that's supposed to be the Tonight Show that he gets on by kidnapping Jerry. Oh, the Jerry Langford Show, yeah. The Jerry Langford Show that he gets on by kidnapping Jerry.

All those scenes, Marty said to Jerry Lewis, you direct those scenes. Who knows television better than you? So all those scenes were directed by Jerry. Wow. I never knew that. That's cool. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And one time, Marty and Jerry got in a little argument about something. And Jerry went over. I mean, Marty went over to his director's chair and pulled Jerry's book out of the sleeve and said, well, this is from your fucking book. Can you imagine? Yeah, I think that was the ultimate or filmmaker or something that Jerry wrote. Yeah, yeah, no, not the ultimate. It was a very instructive. A lot of the directors who came on Homicide and Law and Order, they all

used that book. I heard Spielberg would go to sometimes Jerry's class. Yes. Well, I think a lot of those guys did Lucas Spielberg. No, but Jerry was, when I was young, a little kid, I looked exactly like Jerry Lewis. Yeah.

Dean and Jerry became partners in 1945. I was born in 1944. So by the time I was four, five, six years old, I was doing Jerry Lewis bits. I had this zip haircut. And I must say, when you see pictures, I look just like him. And my mother was very physical. She used to beat the shit out of me all the time. But once in a while, I would do Jerry Lewis and make her laugh and, you know, break the tension. And she wouldn't beat the shit out of me. And I told Jerry, you know, that I'm taking off my shirt because I want to show you something.

A tattoo. Yes. Oh, cool. Nothing else. Oh, wow. The screen's not big enough. We should tell our listeners that we're looking at Richard on Skype in France. They'd be confused.

We've got to see this. He's doing a strip TV for us. He's stripping. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, that's fantastic. There is a tattoo of the iconic logo of Jerry. Dara's going to snap a picture if you hold that, Richard.

It's that classic Jerry Lewis caricature. Right, that he used. Yeah. And I added the little red handkerchief. I associate that caricature with the telethons because they always use that they used it for years and then they they changed it and yeah one of the thrills of my life was being at the telethon you know because you know a lot of comedians lives and civilians may not understand this but uh are were shaped in a way by the telethons because first of all jerry inarguably is you know easily top 10 maybe top three funniest people ever in in the history of show business and um

the guild do you want me to do something no nothing nothing oh, you threw me off. I'll be back. Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm kidding. What was I talking about? Jerry Lewis is one of the funniest people ever. Oh, yeah, and then before that. And he's on the telethon. You were talking about how the telethon influenced so many people in comedy. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm talking about all the, thank you.

I'm talking about how comedians would watch the telethon and just study him right oh yes i mean i we call each other up and talk about you know watch it on like you know paul schaefer and marty short and we would be on the phone sometimes you know guys would tape it it was on 24 hours but still tape some of in all these moments though when you think about it it's you know started in the 50s i remember and this was a this this really ruined a lot of it for me in the old days of the telethon they would have the closing titles when jerry went off after he sang when you walk through a storm they would have the closing titles, and they would go, you know, da-na-na, da-na-na, da-na-na, da-na-na-na-na,

that jazzed up version of Smile. And then... Lou Brown and his orchestra. Yes. Yeah. And when they were scared of losing people because they would go to their local affiliates, the telethon would continue. Right.

Right after the song, it would immediately switch to the local affiliates. Right. And they did away with that theme song and the credits. they did away with that theme song and the credits and that to me was like a religious experience when that music came on yeah it put a button on the whole thing and I

remember a couple of times in my early days getting off stage and if it was a good set that I did I would hear that in my head oh that music as your playoff music If it was a good set that I did, I would hear that in my head. Oh, that's great music. Yeah.

As your playoff music. Your playoff music. Yes. You should tell them at Caroline's the next time you're there. Oh, yes. Just dial that up. No, really. That would be great.

What did Paul Schaefer play you on with? Oh, he used to play me on with a combination of the two shows i was fired from and failed miserably on saturday night live and and uh thick of the night he made a combination of the two give me a little taste yeah oh oh it's it's a hard one. You know, it's like... I can see that. And now what I've... It's funny. I was talking to Penn Jillette, and both of us had the same...

God bless him, by the way. God bless him. Big atheist. He, both of us had the same experience as far as Jerry Lewis was concerned. Both of us would be extremely cynical and acerbic, talking about Jerry Lewis, joking about his self-importance

and the great filmmaker and making fun of sucking on a lozenge while he's talking. Yeah, yeah, right. When I approach cinema, I am. That was his serious period, yeah. But both of us, when we would meet Jerry Lewis, it would all change. Of course. Of course.

There he was. And he, you know, it's like when I did the Tonight Show. We'll get back to Jerry in a second. But it's like when I did the Tonight Show the first time, Johnny Carson came in my dressing room. I was like, whoa, there he is in 3D. Oh, yes. Like, you know, he's so used to seeing him in 2D on your television for years. And then there he is in the room.

And there's like, you know, contour. But what were we talking about before that? Oh, Gary Lewis, when you meet him, when you're with him in person. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. we're talking about before that? Oh, Cary Lewis, when you meet him, when you're with him in person. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, I've seen, I've been with him a lot and seen how people react to him. And the one universal thing is everyone becomes 11 years old when they see him. Yes. Whether they're 80 or 60 or, you know, how, because, you know, he's been around for so long, you know, it's like people have grown, literally grown up with him.

And I, you know, and loved him and then didn't love him, then loved him again. You know, like it's just like breaking up with the chicken, going back and back. And he's been around so long, he's, you know, his sheer genius has worn us out and he still stands. You know, he's going to be 90, by the way, in March. Well, I know, like I made jokes about him all the time. I'll, like, imitate him singing, like, when you walk through a storm. And, but then it's the, also, when I see him, I'm a little kid watching Jerry Lewis. Yeah.

You were with him at the Friars recently. He said something to you that... Oh, Mike. One time, and this was one of my... I'll always remember this one. I was at some event and I went up doing all these dirty, sick jokes.

Surprise, surprise. In a shock. Jerry walks up to me afterwards and he goes gilbert you are out of your fucking mind and then he goes he looks at me in the eyes and he goes and i wouldn't want you any other way. That's great. I thought, wow, Jerry Lewis accepted me. And he meant it. He loves when comedians are good.

And he roots for comedians. But if he doesn't like them, then watch out. And my other big thrill, they honored him at the friars club and we're outside and there's a big mob of people and and the guys his roast you mean oh no no this is when they honored him when they put a plan of him on the friars right and you know there was a big mob of people there and someone was and whenever the speakers went on, Jerry was heckling them, which was funny. And Jerry turned to me, and he goes, so, Gilbert, is anything all right? And then Jerry would heckle the people there, make a joke. And he'd smile at me and squeeze my arm.

Ah, he was like doing it for you. Yeah, and I thought, wow. You got a little glimpse of that old pure Jerry. Yes. It's like that moment in King of Comedy where for some reason he does the Jerry run. Oh, yes. As he's running, as he's in the crosswalk. He just breaks character for a second.

in the crosswalk he just breaks character for a second also when he when they uh first were doing the movie uh it wasn't jerry uh langford it was another name i forget what it was and jerry said marty if we're doing exteriors you know you bet you got to i'll show you what i mean you got to change my name to jerry come on i'll show you what i mean and they just go outside of the office and they start walking down the street hey jerry you know cab drivers oh yeah you know jerry construction guys and they're actually there's a scene in the movie where he's in the street and people are yelling jerry and that's those are real people and not extras are Jerry you look great and he says you should see me in my white taffeta and one part of the movie they hired someone to do it an actress but that was based on real life

was when that woman was on the pay phone, and Jerry is walking down the street. And Jerry said this happened in real life, and they put it in the movie. Jerry was walking down the street, and a woman was on a pay phone, and she goes, say hello to my cousin. Say hello to my cousin.

Come on. And Jerry was in a hurry at the time. And the woman yelled, I hope you die of cancer. One of my favorite moments. You should only get cancer. Okay. It's great stuff. One cute story before we go.

Yeah, sure. I'm walking down the street in New York. And there's this guy walking towards me, and he's all excited and everything. Oh, shit, I got a fucking guy who signed an autograph or nothing. I don't appreciate it. But just I guess I wasn't in the mood that day. And, you know, he's coming.

He's, like, so excited. And he comes up to me and he goes, is today Thursday? He comes up to me and he goes, is today Thursday? And I thought, oh, an autograph. I remember walking down the street with Larry David. And I, at that point, was first starting to get big. I was on the Letterman Show and I had done a special and everything. And we're walking, and Larry David's not expecting anything.

And this homeless black guy comes over to us with his clothes all ripped up and old, smelly, and a pee stain in his pants. And he comes over, and I'm thinking, oh, God, he's going to come over to me. Because he sees us. And he runs over and hugs Larry David and goes, Yeah, David from Fridays. Hilarious. Okay. Just before we run, I want to direct people to Richard's website.

Not only can you see the whole roast there from 2001, which is wonderful. Gilbert, Irwin, Corey, Paul Schaefer, Jeff Ross. It was a great night, yeah. But also there's a wonderful short there that David Steinberg directed called It Didn't Happen One Night. And it's you guys. That's our Cinemax. Cinemax. You played the bartender.

And a very young Tom Leopold, a friend of ours, a mutual friend of ours. And there's a bizarre clip of you guys reading the newspaper and doing dueling Groucho Marx. Excuse me, Chico Marx. Chico Marx. Chico Marx impressions. And it's wonderful and strange. Jackie Mason reading R.D. Lange. That's right.

I see you, you see me, but you can't see what I'm really thinking about. And this person thinks he sees this person, but this person's not looking at that person. And then we read the paper. Oh, 10,000 people died today. That's no good. Oh, boy. It sure was a tragic event. It's wonderful and strange.

It's a great time capsule. What is it, iBells.com? iBells.com. And my Twitter is Mr. Belzer. Yeah, there's so many gems on that website. So our listeners should really go check that stuff out. Oh, that's because I'm old. I have so many things in my closet.

And there's Gavin McLeod jokes and all kinds of weird stuff on there. Oh, wait a minute. Now, okay. Yes. So I could, I'm just talking to the audience now. Oh, okay. Go ahead. now.

Now, I could go on talking to Richard for like this could be like for a year straight. We'll do another one down the line. Because... Listen, I'm going to be in New York in March. Oh, I'm sorry I'm out of town that week. Oh, shit.

Damn. Well, I could push my schedule a little bit. Did I say March? I meant April. I'm going to be in April. We'll do another one. All right. And because Richard, as we spoke about, I've known since I was a teenager.

Oh, wow. Yeah. And you at that time were 70. Well, I had started to gray i was punching 60 in the mouth let's put it that way yeah so so this has been gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host frank santo. And we have been talking to my friend, Richard Belzer. It's Rabbi Richard Belzer.

You remember you used to get up at the roast and you would do the rabbi? I'm a rock doodah, doodah. Thanks, Richard. Okay, great. Thank you, Richard Belzer. bells happy holidays i'll see you in the spring gil oh on spring i'm gonna be touring sorry say hi to the kids oh i will thank you rich