Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - "Airplane!" 40th Anniversary with Julie Hagerty and Robert Hays Encore
Episode Date: October 16, 2023GGACP celebrates the release of the new book, "Surely You Can't Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!" by presenting this ENCORE of a 2020 episode with the movie's stars, Julie Hagerty and Robert ...Hays. In this episode, Julie and Robert talk about the film's 40th anniversary and share backstage stories behind one of the most original and quotable movies of all time. Also, Lloyd Bridges goes for broke, Peter Graves frightens small children, Leslie Nielsen plays pranks on the cast and Robert Stack does John Byner doing Robert Stack. PLUS: "Zero Hour!"! "Lost in America"! Remembering Art Carney! Miss Piggy directs! And Julie and Robert recall their favorite "Airplane!" gags! (Special thanks to Richard Kind, Jonathan Rakower, Gino Salomone and the heroic John Murray!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried.
This is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.
And we're pleased to have not one, but two terrific guests this week.
Julie Haggerty is a gifted actress of stage and screen.
You know her work from TV shows such as Murphy Brown ER, Everybody Loves Raymond, King of the Hill, Grace and Frankie, and Family Guy, as well as the love interest
of one of our most treasured podcast guests, the late, great Adam West.
She's also done memorable work in features like A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy, Lost
in America, Noises Off,
What About Bob, U-Turn,
Storytelling,
and the recently released Marriage Story.
And of course, as my co-star
in the cinematic classic,
Bad Medicine.
Robert Hayes is a funny and versatile actor
who's appeared in dozens of TV programs,
including the Larry Sanders show,
That 70s Show, Touched by an Angel,
and Spin City,
and in featured roles in series like Angie, Starman,
and the title role in the Iron Man animated series. He's also hosted an episode of Saturday Saturday Night Live from a season I'd love to forget for strictly personal reasons.
You've also seen his work in films like Take This Job and Shove It, Cat's Eye, Trenchcoat, Homeward Bound, The Incredible Journey, Mr. T and the Women and the superhero movie. 40 years ago next month,
these two performers co-starred in a little low-budget comedy feature that would go on to
rank among one of the funniest and most beloved movies ever made by anyone anywhere, 1980s Airplane.
Please welcome to the show Elaine Dickinson and Ted Stryker, also known as the talented
Julie Haggerty and Robert Hayes.
Hello.
Yes. Julie Haggerty and Robert Hayes. Hello! Yes!
Yes! What a big crowd we have.
Robert's cheering.
Welcome, guys.
It's so neat to be here.
I melted my microphone.
This is a genuine thrill.
I worked with the two of you.
Yes! Separately. This is a genuine thrill. I worked with the two of you. Yes.
Yes.
Separately.
Yeah.
With Julie, we were in Madrid together.
We were.
Yes, we were in Spain and I was running from you most of the time.
Here he comes.
I've got to run.
Because you would just torture me with laughter.
I remember I used to mock the way you spoke.
Yes.
And I used to, like, when we'd be in a restaurant together,
I'd say to the waiter,
When we'd be in a restaurant together, I'd say to the waiter,
Por favor, por favor, agua con gas.
And then Julie got back at me. She did an imitation of me, and she put on a depressed face,
and she said, I'm'm depressed they hate shoes here
and and robert we worked together saturday night live in one of the shittiest seasons seasons. January 1981 episode, to be exact.
Yes.
What happened?
Do you remember any of the horrible sketches?
Luckily, I don't.
I do.
I do.
I was telling Frank the other day, I was doing a film in Toronto at the time.
And it was a comedy I was doing with Brooke Adams and Ben.
Oh, gosh. I just went getting old.
I just went blank on his name anyway. Sorry, Ben. Ben, his last name.
But he did stand up comedy and he was my comic sidekick, kind of, in the movie.
And my friend that helped me in my little shenanigans that we did.
And I told him, I said, I'm going to be hosting Saturday Night Live.
They want me to do that. And have you got any ideas?
Can we kick around ideas? I have nothing.
I don't know what to do.
I want to be able to take something just to contribute some ideas.
Even if they throw them out, take something just to contribute some ideas.
Even if they throw them out, at least I could contribute some ideas.
So we came up with a couple of things. And one of them was the, it was a blind date.
It was a phone conversation and it was an inflatable doll.
And it's the way the show opened.
And they went for that.
And the lousy thing was they kept telling me, do you remember Joe Disco? Joe Dixo is his name. He was the stage manager. Yeah. Well, they call him Joe Disco. And I just had done this film called Take This Job and Shove It. And I had a hat and he loved that hat. So I gave it to him. So he was wearing that around all the time. And it starts out with me on a phone.
he was wearing that around all the time. And it starts out with me on a phone. The whole show does.
And before you say live, you do our good Saturday night, all of that, it starts out with this sketch.
And so I'm doing it. And he kept telling me, don't worry, the audience is going to be awful.
The, you know, the first audience, because they're not seeing the live show. And they're really going to be pissed off. It's just going to be awful, so don't worry about it. Don't let it throw you.
So we did it, and they really liked it. They had a great time, and the audience was terrific.
So then we come to do the show, and he says, ready, and places, and I go over, and I get my
places. Where's the phone? I said, Joe, where's the phone? He says, what? The phone? There's no phone.
He says, anybody see Robert's phone?
And I said, no, I didn't see the phone.
And I said, I gotta have the phone!
The whole thing is on the phone!
And he says, yeah, do it without it.
And I said, do it without it!
You're on.
And I'm standing there and I was
with an egg on my face and I didn't know what the hell
that's supposed to do
and I thought,
geez,
I wonder why Frank doesn't call.
Gee,
what would he ask me
if he was going to call?
I imagine he'd probably ask,
I'm just trying to come up with stuff
and it was just miserable
and that set the whole show off
and it horrible for me
and so it was terrible
and the other thing
that I did in the show,
the other idea
that Ben gave me was, I guess it was a little idea floating around at the time that people were talking about.
So I suggested the Elephant Man Thanksgiving, the family reunion.
And so they went for that.
And it had everybody sitting around the table, grandpa and mom, dad and aunts and uncles and the kids, the grandchildren,
everybody all had bags on their heads.
And the great-grandfather, the portrait up on the wall,
the guy had a bag on his head, and the little parrot was in the cage,
had a parrot, a bag on its head.
And that kind of went over, sort of, I guess.
But the show was, it was awful.
Gil, do you remember the Elephant Man family sketch?
No, I luckily blocked most of my season of Saturday Night Live out.
Yeah.
And thank you, Jesus, they never rerun them.
Yes.
Lauren buried those in the yard.
I'll have to Google that.
At the end of that show, they had me make an announcement.
And one of the supporting actors, they made a regular on the show.
And so I made the announcement.
And it says, before we go, I just want to make the announcement.
We're taking one of the supporting actors and making him a regular on the show.
So let's have a big hand for Eddie Murphy.
I don't know if you remember that.
Oh, yes.
Yes, I do remember that.
Oh, that's right.
And he said that he never was a feature player,
and I made the announcement that he was.
But it was kind of odd.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah, he did start out as a featured player.
That's right.
Yeah. Wowee right. Yeah.
Wowee.
Wowee.
It's been years since I saw Bad Medicine, Gil.
If you did, then you're the only one.
You played the Spaniard.
Famously, you played the Spaniard Tony Sandoval.
Yes.
Of course you would cast Gilbert as a Spaniard.
Julie, who did you play?
Yes.
Yes.
Of course you would cast Gilbert as a Spaniard.
Julie, who did you play? Yes.
I played like a student going to medical school.
And I wish I had played Gilbert's part.
Did you have scenes together?
Yeah, we did.
Because we were all sort of in the, I don't know.
It was so strange, wasn't it?
It was very strange.
Very weird.
Good cast.
Alan Arkin and Steve Gooding.
Oh, yeah.
Julie Kavner.
Right, right.
Oh, jeez.
And an old podcast guest, Bill Macy.
Oh, Bill Macy.
Oh, gosh, I totally forgot he was in that.
Wow. I think Bill Macy was in a Star, I totally forgot he was in that. Wow.
I think Bill Macy was in a Starman episode too, Robert.
He was.
He was.
And Julie Kavner, we were at the Old Globe Theater together in San Diego.
So we're all these connections.
Small.
Yeah.
She's great.
All connected.
She's a great talent.
But Gilbert was brilliant.
Of course.
What I remember about bad medicine, you know, all of us were struggling with our Spanish accents.
Yes.
And in one part, I'm supposed to reprimand how someone's dressed.
And my line is, old shoes must be black.
And it came out as, old shoes must be black.
Oh, my God.
Oh, dear.
Have you not seen her since Bad Medicine, Gilbert?
Julie?
We used to see each other in New York sometimes.
You came up to my old apartment with Curtis.
Curtis Armstrong?
Yeah.
I went up to your old apartment.
You made dinner, and you had just fallen off a horse, I think.
Oh, dear.
And maybe that was the last time I saw you because I cooked.
No, the last time I saw you, there was some TV show I was doing a guest spot on.
Oh.
And I don't know if you were a regular on it or what, but I remember on the set, we
ran into each other.
Well, this is truly neat.
This is just so marvelous to see you and Bob and I see each other and to meet you.
This is really cool.
Yeah. Well, tell us about you and Bob meeting for the first time, Julie.
Oh, well, the first time I met Bob was we tested together,
which was back in the day where you still, like, did a screen test together.
And he was just the nicest, kindest funniest uh most supportive because i
hadn't been in a film and i didn't know what i was doing and i just come from doing off off off
off off broadway so he um just uh he he's like the most generous actor ever. Well, it was really, it was fun.
It was 1979.
That's when we tested and we did all that.
And then that's when we filmed it.
It was 79 and then it came out in 80.
But we were, I think we were lucky that we got to have each other to test with.
Because it was so fun for both of us.
It was so great.
And I think the chemistry was there
and they could see that.
And so we went.
It was modern day Myrna Loy and William Powell.
Oh, how nice.
What a nice comparison.
He said, I was just, I was watching the other night.
Gina and I were watching a film
that they did the other night, Gina and I were watching a film that they did the other night,
and they were so magical.
And a quote that he had was that,
Myrna was absolute gold.
She was just so wonderful to work with
because so many actresses are so concerned with themselves.
Sometimes it's like working with someone
who has a plate glass window, you can't feel anything.
But she was such a giving actress and so concerned with listening to what you had to say in the scene that everything was thrown out.
All the technique, all of this and that.
And they just had fun.
And that's kind of the way it was with Julie and me.
We just had this great time.
And just let the guys do their magic with all the great script and the guys saw and all the
people they cast around us all the you know i mean peter graves and robert stack and uh beaver
cleaver's mom and barbara yes i wish you'll always be the beefs mom to me but just this amazing cast that I is everybody that I grew up watching on television
and Bob knew I was pretty nervous and he just you know we're gonna be okay kid and and it was just
I've it had so much fun it was the best fun ever your first, but also Bob's first feature. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but you were,
you know, you were, he was shooting the television show Angie and then running over and shooting the,
uh, the movie. So he was going back and forth and back and forth. And I could always tell when Bob
was coming on the set because there was just, I could hear laughter. He stopped and talked to everybody and brought joy to everybody.
And I thought, well, Bob's here.
And as closer he got, the laughter came and came
and then just plopped down and we started to work.
40 years later and he's still a loud mouth.
Yeah.
So airplane came out, monster hit and then uh naked gun also monster hit and then
there were a billion movies all trying to recreate that yeah and and they all failed miserably. So do you know what was the difference between like Airplane and all the awful knockoffs?
I think it was the boys.
I think it was Jerry and David Tucker and Jim Abrams.
I think they were the magic of it because they knew just what they wanted.
It was their sense of comedy, their sense of timing, their sense of a joke, what worked and what didn't.
And I don't know, Julie, I imagine it was the same with you,
but I had people come up to me all the time.
I have producers or directors, whatever, usually producer types,
and they come up and they say,
I got another airplane for you.
Just as funny as airplane.
And I knew immediately, well, that's a piece of junk.
So neither one of you said yes to any of those knockoff satire films that were an airplane.
And it seems like Leslie Nielsen said yes to everything.
Well, he did the Naked Gun and then Naked Gun 2 and
all those Naked Gun things.
Because he had a new career
in comedy. They turned him
into a comedian.
But he was also in these
films like
2001, A Space
Travesty,
and Repossessed,
and oh, did just oh there was a fugitive
spoof too
yes yes
and a James Bond
spoof too
and also he had a
fart machine
he was obsessed
with that wherever he went he took this machine i
think he discovered it didn't he bob during somebody gave him to a doctor airplane because
it was funny it is a doctor friend of his i think in phoenix or tucson and he he he brought a box
full of them to the set and sold them he He sold them for $7 each and people on the set bought them.
And of course with me, I looked at it and I thought,
I can make one of those. I couldn't see,
Julie and I weren't being paid that much.
So I didn't want to spend $7 on something I could make.
So I made my own and I brought it to the set.
But yeah, he sold them.
The hardest thing for, that was the hardest thing on the whole show
the scene where
Lorna Patterson comes and gets me
and that's where Jesse was
pouring gas on his head
the guy from the Kentucky Fried Theater
that actor
yeah
and
we kept doing it take after take
and the match was getting lower and lower
burning his fingers
because it took that much time to really think about it.
And look at him like, gee, I know you want to hear the rest of this story.
And him, please, just go, go.
And so so I finally went up there and, you know, both pilots.
And that was the first time that Leslie and I had the can you fly this plane? Surely you can't be serious. I'm serious. Don't call me. Surely that was our first time that Leslie and I had the, can you fly this plane?
Surely you can't be serious.
I am serious.
Don't call me.
Surely that was our first time we said that.
And then he said, Mr. Stryker, can you, we're all counting on you.
Can you fly this plane?
And I said, I flew single engines of fighters in the war.
This plane has four engines.
That's an entirely different kind of flying altogether.
And then altogether, they said, it's an entirely different kind of flying.
Well, that was a two shot of Lorna and Leslie.
But on me, it was a single.
So the entire scene, it was, Mr. Stryker,
can you land this plane?
That was the hardest thing in the entire film,
was trying to keep a straight face during that scene.
He just loved that.
I remember when the two guys from Paramount entire film was trying to keep a straight face during that scene he just loved that i remember
when that the the two guys from paramount came down to came over to visit and um they were like
the studio heads and um leslie and i were saying hello and then he went and then he said, Julie.
What?
I just wanted to die.
And, you know, I will never forget that as long as I live. And to this day, they think to this day, it was me.
I remember him one time I met him and he he explained to me all the different brands
of fart machines and how some are so much better than the others and i said i had one
that didn't work and he says was this the one with the red top and the black uh but and i said yeah and he goes oh
toss that one away those are never any good and he gave me like the brand and exact
specifications to look for in these fart makers i knew he was famous for toting that thing around
but i didn't know it went all the way back to the 70s.
Well, this is when it, this is, yeah, 79 is when he,
people didn't know about it around town.
Like later, it just became legendary.
Everybody knew about it.
But he'd been using it for a little while.
I don't know how many years, but just for a while.
But on the set, he told me about,
I said,
Leslie,
don't you,
don't you ever get embarrassed
by that?
And he said,
no.
He says,
I figure at this age,
I don't give a shit.
Which was his line.
That was his line.
And he told me about,
he told me about
a golf tournament
in Little Rock, Arkansas,
and the mayor of Little Rock had a big dinner at the mayor's mansion
for all of the people and the celebrities in the golf tournament.
And he went over and said, oh, Mr. Nielsen, my mother is such a big fan of yours.
Would you please come and say hello?
He said, certainly.
So he goes over and I said, you didn't.
And he goes, yeah.
He walks up and says, this is Mr. Leslie Nielsen. Well, it's nice to meet you. And the mayor and everybody were floored.
They were like, what? What?
Oi. Oi.
What a character.
Julie, tell us about your audition. Because you, you, you, I read an interview with you and you
said that you believe that comedy
and we've talked about this on the podcast many times gilbert that comedy has to be played straight
robert said it before you know you don't want to you don't want to look be look like you're playing
for the laugh that you're playing for comedy you they they say so such flattering things about you
that they knew they had something when they found you. In fact, I think you rode up in the elevator with it. Was it David or Jerry? I rode up in the elevator at the old Paramount
Gulf and Western building. And I didn't know it was them. And they were going up to audition
people. And so we rode up in the elevator together and then I went in and there they were.
we rode up in the elevator together and then I went in and there they were.
And so then they invited me to test with Bob,
but no, I think in Bob, you know, comedy isn't, I don't ever consider it funny. You, do you know, I mean,
it has to be from your heart, you know, it's just, you can't go, Oh,
here comes the funny bit. Cause otherwise it's just you can't go, oh, here comes the funny bit because otherwise.
Because it's not funny. You're laughing. It's kind of like what we used to figure was that it was when you see a lot of films that are slapsticky or the comedies and they're doing this schmucky, you know, kind of laugh and laugh line.
And they're laughing for the audience. The audience doesn't laugh as much because the person telling the joke
is laughing about it so much.
Right.
It's like their little,
their astral projection is standing next to them
looking at the audience saying,
hey, here it comes.
Watch this one.
Isn't that funny?
And with us, our little astral projections,
we're looking at the audience and saying,
this is serious stuff.
What are you guys laughing at?
You know, that was the difference.
I heard with Airplane,
the studio originally wanted them to hire comedians.
But instead they got, you know,
Peter Graves, Lloyd Bridges, Leslie Nielsen,
all playing it straight.
So that's what was so funny these
ridiculous lines
coming out of like totally
straight guys
their line about the casting
I think it was the casting person whoever
I don't know if it was Joel Thurm or whoever
because there were several casting people
involved but
the boys say that
when they said and we want Leslielie nielsen for this and
they said leslie nielsen that's who you cast the night before when you can't get anybody else
no that's who we want that's on the director's commentary yeah and they want and then he becomes
legendary for for what he did well we just had the director barry sonnenfeld, here on the podcast, the director of the Men in Black movies
and the Adams Family movies.
Remember, Gilbert, he said,
if the actors know they're in a comedy, you're dead.
Yes.
You're dead.
Yes.
That's right.
In fact, that's what I noticed with Leslie Nielsen later on.
He started to realize he was funny,
and then he started to play for the laughs.
If you don't have a director to hold you back like the boys wouldn't let you do that.
And that's why we were so lucky to have them, you know.
But if you do another show with other kinds of directors that want that and they pretty soon you're everyone on the sets laughing and you're all having a great time laughing together.
And then you realize, Oh, wait a second.
This is just awful. This is terrible.
Robert, tell me what you tell, tell Gilbert and Julie,
what you said to me on the phone that, that stack was the one early on that,
that probably the guy that grasped it.
You mean that scene that one day Julie might be remembers this.
Maybe that he was the first guy in their mind when they started writing this as a script,
and they thought Bob Stack as Kramer.
Well, they had a John Biner bit in mind.
They said in the director's commentary that John Biner used to do a bit as Robert Stack.
And when they tried to get Robert Stack to do it the way John Biner did it, he couldn't do it.
The speech where he says, top dog, head honcho.
Yeah.
I'm paraphrasing, but it was from a Biner who we had on the spot.
That it was from a Biner bit, and Robert Stack didn't know what the hell they were talking about.
But you told me on the phone he got it early and he had to explain to Bridges.
Well, Julie, maybe you remember this.
There was a day that we rehearsed.
It was in one of the little rehearsal spaces over there on Paramount with the hardwood floors like a dance studio with the mirrors and the bar and the windows out there.
And they had the tape on the floor and it was just Lloyd and Bob and Julie and me.
And it was in the tower when we were in the
cockpit and so we were running
that so we could get the feeling and the
flow of the scene and Lloyd
was just
you could see something
bothered him and
he said well
what are we doing here
and
and Bob Bob said,
oh, come on, Lloyd.
They just want us to be us.
And Lloyd kind of scowled a little like,
and then I think he just sort of took that
and chewed on it for a while.
And then they kind of started getting into
it and then he really did get it he got into it and he really understood and what it was but uh
did he have those guys watch zero hour because i heard that even leslie didn't have the exact
cadence that the boys wanted right away and they showed they sent they sent him home with a copy
of zero hour oh they did yeah i don't know i we we'd watch
a little bit of it julie yeah yeah um but what they would do is they would also because they asked
do you think we're gonna have to get the rights to this and the director or the agent or you know
the studio whoever it was they looked at the script they looked at that and went ah yes it's
so much alike yes but it was so So they got the rights for it.
And they got half the rights.
And they went all over town trying to find who has the other rights to this.
And it was really getting down to the wire.
And they thought, God, who has the rights?
And then somebody either said, oh, yeah, I know where those are.
Or they said, oh, here, look what I discovered.
But they were right there at Paramount.
The other half of the rights were there at Gown oh wow that's right so they would set it up and we would
go in remember we'd go in the little the little uh booth in the trailer or the little booth on
the set and we'd watch the angles and so we'd get the the uh uh you know with joe uh our our uh
cinematographer by rock yeah yeah and we would watch the angle and he'd see the
lighting on it and the angle and so we'd set
those just so that was one more little
in joke inside thing that
the angle of that was the angle of Zero Hour
it's funny because
when you watch Zero Hour
an airplane looks
like a remake
it does
it's so close down to this uh fish or chicken or steak or
chicken they had the same meal you know we we had david zucker here on the podcast and he was 10 i
told you this on the phone robert that he the the one guy they were worried about and you just you
just mentioned it was was lloyd that if you watch it again I watched it again last night probably the 70th
time I've seen it Stack is playing it you know as serious as a heart attack so is Peter Graves
who who threw the script across the room when he first read it and didn't even know why they
why they asked him to do it and Bridges he said trash right oh i know he was embarrassed about with his kids
he was so embarrassed and his daughters his his daughter said you gotta look at this again dad
this is funny and his agent said peter this is there's talk about this you gotta look at this
so finally said well okay i'll take a look at it. It's so funny because they make Peter Graves like out to be a child.
A pedophile.
Yeah.
And he told me about being in a supermarket one day.
And there's a woman and her son.
And he looked down and said, well, hey, young man, how are you doing?
And the woman looked up at him and went, don't you talk to that man and turn him off.
that they think is playing it a little bit for laughs,
as opposed to Stack and Leslie and Peter Graves, who got it quickly.
And also, what Gilbert's talking about in terms of the studio wanting comedians,
and I learned this from the director's commentary, they also wanted cameos from sitcom stars,
which was shot down.
They wound up accepting Jimmy J.J. Walker.
Yeah.
But that was pretty delicious.
That was great.
Yeah. It cleans the windshield.
But there's a story that Howard Koch
would call these comedians agents and say,
listen, and try to talk them out of being in the movie
by saying, look, you don't want to be in this.
It's not going to be any good.
You don't want to be in this thing.
Tell us about that.
Leslie, there was a
just on that last little bit there with
Lloyd, there was a scene at the end
that was
written in the script, but
we never did film it because Lloyd didn't want to do it.
Because a sea hunt meant so much to him.
But there was a scene after he went, ah, and he jumps out the window and crashes out the window.
And then he's at the end, a cut to him at the end of the runway in full Mike Nelson's get up.
With everything and the double hose regulator, the old double hose regulator, everything.
And he's going like this at the end of the runway
with the narration underneath.
I didn't know the Moray eel was hidden in the rocks.
And then it cuts back to us again.
But he didn't want to do that, but it was in the script.
Oh, that's great.
One little bit in the script.
I read they approached George Kennedy too.
Gilbert, it's interesting too,
listening to the Zuckers on the commentary,
that they approached Jack Webb, Ephraim Zimbalist, Jr.
Lots of people.
And George Kennedy did not want to spoof his role in the airport films.
Yeah, he liked, he loved what Universal had done for him, and he didn't want to offend them by making fun of the role.
And I think that was in Airplane 2, and that was where Lucas McCain, that's where Chuck Connors played that instead.
That's right.
And George Kennedy would later be in all the Naked Gun movies.
Right, he finally got with the program.
Right.
But he wasn't spoofing his
character in Airplane. Well, Universal
didn't want us to have it be called
Airplane, because they said
that it sounded too much like
Airport, and they thought that people would mistake it, and they go
in thinking they were going to see one of their
great, you know,
Airport movies.
And so Howard showed it
to him and said, okay, guys, look, just take a look at it.
And then if it's not funny, you guys don't like it.
OK, then we'll talk about changing it.
So they looked at it.
They laughed their butts off and they said, OK, you can call it airport here.
But in foreign countries, you got to change the name.
Oh, it's interesting.
Yes.
Yeah.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast.
But first, a word from our sponsor.
What about Ethel Mervin?
She was in the scene you were in, Robert.
Oh, gosh.
The one that Julie and I were in.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Julie's in the scene, too.
Forget it.
Yes, we were in the hospital.
That's right.
It was our spit take.
The big building with windows.
Any memories of her? Specific memories? The hospital. That was our spit take. The big building with windows. Any memories of her, specific memories?
The boys said she was a great sport.
Yeah, just the fact that we got to be in the same room.
In the same room with her.
Same scene with Ethel Merman was kind of historic for us.
It was great.
And she's a link to another great wild comedy.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad world.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a great movie. great wild comedy. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's a great movie.
A great movie.
Yeah.
He did it.
He kicked the bucket.
Yep.
That's it.
That's the part of the movie where they, I think, in the hospital,
a guy has post-traumatic stress syndrome,
and he believes he's Ethel Merman.
Merman. That's exactly. you know, stress syndrome, and he believes he's a little mermaid.
Mermaid.
That's exactly.
And then they show him and it really is a mermaid.
With a guy with the STP sticker on the back of his doctor gown.
Yeah.
Pulling a dipstick out.
Robert, what's the deal with a vulture on your shoulder? How did that happen?
It's obviously a trained bird.
Can you train a vulture?
I guess.
Yes.
They told me it was trained.
Yeah.
And I also want to ask about the disco scene,
which you guys actually rehearsed.
We did.
You guys took it seriously.
Of course.
The guys, remember now, was uh lester wilson remember
and and and um and joe oh gosh i had his name and he was a he was a choreographer that did a lot of
disney films and things for disney choreography and lester was one of the guys that was instrumental in giving that whole sense of style and feel to Saturday Night Fever.
So we had the guy that, you know, that created that style.
And he was great.
And we rehearsed for two weeks, I think, wasn't it?
Two weeks.
We went to his studio after work and rehearsed.
And then.
So then we go and we do this.
to work and rehearsed and then yeah so then we go and we do this that's the thing that julie was talking about when i was doing um angie the tv series angie yeah and we'd come in at nine in
the morning start rehearsal read-throughs rehearsal we cut for lunch and i literally would run for the
for the door the stage door and as i was running someone would throw me it's like i was going out for a long pass they'd throw me a ziploc baggie with a sandwich in it and i'd jump in the
car eat this sandwich wolf it down as we drove just to the other side of the lot there at paramount
and then i'd jump out get into wardrobe make up for uh airplane and then we'd start shooting on
the scene on the uh the dance scene and and. And then they'd say, okay.
They'd call and say, okay, we need him back.
Yes, but it also...
And then we'd keep going.
The whole juggling thing was your idea.
Oh, yeah, you smelly, good juggles.
That was your idea.
Well, that was Jim's.
He said, can you juggle?
And I said, yeah.
And he threw the things into me.
But then you decided to go down real low and up real high. That was all, as I remember,
you made that all up. Being goofy. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah. I had people saying,
doing the Gazotsky and both legs were going out, you know, one, then the other. But then when I
had both legs going out at once, I actually had people come up to me and say,
how did you do that?
And I said, I really worked out.
And they believed me.
And they believed me.
What about the scene on the beach?
Because I understand it was a freezing day.
And if I watch it closely, Julie,
when that water hits you,
you look genuinely shocked.
Right before they let the tank go, I remember we were all lying there,
and Bob knew what was coming.
And Bob said to me, hang on.
Just hang on.
How many thousands of gallons was that tank?
10,000. 10,000 gallons.
Gallons of water hit us.
And then they put fish in my hair.
They pumped it.
Yes.
Freshwater catfish.
And they had that in her hair.
And I didn't know it was in my hair.
They pumped the water up out of the ocean. It was down there at Leo Carrillo Beach on the north side of the point there.
It was down there at Leo Carrillo Beach on the north side of the point there.
And they pumped the water up the slope into this portable canvas, portable tank, 10,000 gallon tank.
And then they just dropped the flap and let it rush down as the wave supposedly was coming back out.
So we had sand getting down into our eyelids and just everything.
I mean, it was miserable.
It was cold.
I think I still have some sand in my hair.
What's funny about that scene is it plays as a dead-on parody of From Here to Eternity.
Yes, indeed.
But, of course, they claim they had not seen the movie.
Yeah.
The boys.
Yeah, it's possible.
It's possible.
What's it like seeing with an audience nowadays?
Oh, we just
Oh, excuse me for interrupting.
I'm sorry. We just got to
experience that in San Francisco.
And it was
there were 600 people
and it was a ball.
People came dressed like
It might have been more than that.
Oh, you had the sketch fest in San Francisco, right?
Right, right.
And what was it like?
It had been years, right, since you'd seen it with an audience?
Years and years.
You did it in 17 with David.
Yeah.
It was so fun.
And to hear 600 people who probably weren't born when we made the film laugh.
I mean, just, you know. know it was great it was so fun
yeah it was one of the best now david and i have done this a bunch of times and i've done it with
jerry and david and jim and and then jerry and i did it once and we do little you know fundraisers
or charity things or whatever but this was maybe the best audience it was one of the best for sure but it's
possible it was the best audience that we've had since it came out and part of it was every single
drug reference was uh hilarious but then of course this was the castro theater in san francisco
right so the old woman doing the line of Coke? Yes! Oh, man! Huge! Huge!
But it was, like Julie said, the audience was just totally into it.
They were just so, I mean, it was like it was fresh, like brand new.
It was really great.
What about the three-headed director?
I mean, that's got to be an interesting experience.
That David and Jerry and Jim directing a film,
which, by the way, they had problems with the DGA letting them do that.
Oh, well, you know, maybe that was their way around it because Jerry, I always found, was the one who would come and talk to us
and tell us what to do, and then the other two boys would watch it on a camera,
and then all three of them would huddle together and discuss everything.
And then they'd go, yeah.
And then Jerry would come and talk to us.
That's kind of how I remember it.
I don't know how you remember it.
Yeah, it was.
But they were so of such a like mind that when they did talk to you all at once,
one would start a sentence, the other would say the middle,
and the third one would end the sentence.
Their brains were just right on the same wavelength.
It was so great.
It was so great.
No problems at all.
It was just great.
It was pure joy.
Yeah.
And Robert, you were in that Stephen King movie.
Oh, Cat's Eye.
Cat's Eye.
Yeah. And I heard you said you were injured in that Stephen King movie. Oh, Cat's Eye. Cat's Eye. Yeah.
And I heard you said you were injured in that?
He cracked a rib on that.
And I had, I landed in the scene
and I just was all beat up.
I cracked a rib.
It was lunch.
We wrote for lunch.
I went to the doc.
They did an x-ray and they said,
oh, it's just a real minor, tiny little, you know, just it's not that much.
It didn't break anything. It was just kind of cracked.
And it's hard to breathe. So he said, here's some here's some painkillers.
And of course, I didn't want to take anything while I was acting.
But we came back after lunch in the very next scene because I had to go.
It was like 40 stories up supposedly it was this perspective set that was built by this Spanish set designer
amazing and so I was on a ledge that was probably about eight or ten inches wide and I had to go
all the way around this whole thing to win the bet with this mafia guy so I could live. And so the scene where they surprise me,
blurring horns and everything,
I go, ah, and I slide down
and I land on the ledge down below.
We came back from lunch
and I came back from the doctor
and that's the scene that we had to film.
So I lay down on the ledge
and the edge of it is right where the crack in my rib is.
So they said, okay, ready?
Now let's show a lot of stuff here.
Action.
And I'm groaning away.
And they said, great.
Oh, that's great.
Excellent acting.
Excellent acting.
Yeah, it looked like a very physical part.
And the pigeon, too.
You seem to be sharing the screen with birds.
Yes, yes.
The framed pigeon pecking at your at your ankle i kept
looking around for alfred hitchcock i knew that guy's gotta be i like that movie we were just
talking gilbert about how they don't do horror anthologies anymore but that's a good one yeah
that was that was really fun that was it was well louis louis teague yeah did that and jimmy woods
and drew barrymore and Alan King.
Oh, we're going to watch that tonight.
Yeah.
Oh, it was.
Julie's firing that one up.
Yeah, I sure am.
Julie, Julie.
The great thing, you know how when you're working, you know, Julie,
you're doing something and you've got to be careful about your hair
and careful about the makeup.
And they say, ready, come back.
And, oh, let's get touched up now.
It was so hot down there in North Carolina. It was, we walk out of the makeup. And they say, ready, come back. And oh, let's get touched up now. It was so hot down there in North Carolina.
It was, we walk out of the set.
Dino De Laurentiis' new soundstage
and everything that they built down there.
And the studios.
And it was rainy.
And, you know, in the Southeast, rainy and windy.
And I just stand out there in the rain and go, oh.
And then we'd come back in and say, okay, get back on the set.
And I'd stand there and they'd turn the Ritter fan on about 70 miles an hour.
So it didn't matter.
I could do anything I wanted.
I'd just stand there.
Julie, can I ask you a question from a listener?
Sure.
Sam Weisberg.
We like to, we field questions from listeners on our Patreon,
on a thing we call Grill the Guest.
I want to know, I'm a big fan of Julie's,
and I want to know which scene was it harder to get through
without cracking up and breaking the scene?
Any of Leslie Nielsen's moments in Airplane
or Albert Brooks' famous nest egg rant in Lost in America?
Well, that was pretty hard to get through.
But once again, you know, it's...
Well, I think it was harder with Leslie
because he made that machine go.
And, you know, you just couldn't stop.
But, you know, but once again, when you're...
With Albert doing that scene,
it was terrifying for me.
You know, he's playing his wife who just spent the nest egg.
So he was, you know, that was, I was, you know, in the character and being terrified.
And so losing everything.
But Leslie was just, you couldn't get through his singing and and uh with
his machine and I remember in Lost in America it turns out that on top of everything you you find
out you have a gambling problem I didn't know he went to to sleep, so I went downstairs, you know.
I was up.
I was up.
Do people yell 22 at you, Julie?
I'm sorry?
Do people yell 22?
Come on back to me.
Yes, they do, and people get mad at me, too.
Like, how could you have done that?
Because you wouldn't have had a movie otherwise.
That's a very funny movie lost in america very very
very very funny i love when you're at the table and he says he he drags you into the cafe yes
and you start to reach out with your fingers and he says if you pick up a keno card i will kill you. And then when he goes to there is
no Santa Claus.
Oh,
Gary. Gary Marshall.
That's one of my
favorite scenes where he just
tries to say, I will
give you free advertising
that
this is the casino with heart oh yeah the desert
in has heart desert and has yes and and gary says there is no santee clause it's just i love that
and i remember he says in that scene too uh he well you don't give the money back to everyone you separate us from the usual
wayne newton yeah i like wayne newton
you know albert was cast as a gangster in a movie called Drive. This is a little trivia I found. Because the director was so impressed by his anger,
the anger and the rage that he directed at you in that movie.
Yes.
He got a part 30 years later.
Oh, a funny gangster.
That was a brilliant film he wrote,
and I loved working with him and and real proud to have
been in it yeah oh it's a wonderful movie here's one for you uh ed marcus uh robert uh for an
airplane to the sequel are you of the opinion that gilbert should have been given the role
of the mad bomber instead of sonny bono that would have been a different film,
wouldn't it?
Gilbert,
would you have been able to play straight?
Yeah.
See,
he,
he was Sonny Bono was like a perfect choice.
Cause he started late in his career.
He started popping up in movies like that.
You know,
like the straight versions of movies like that
right yeah and by the way robert we were talking about character actors on the phone gilbert
robert knew dub taylor and jack elam oh yeah and royal dano and royal dano yeah i was watching
cat's eye how about ken mcmillan kenny millan was great. Really good character actor.
Yeah.
Ragtime.
There's that scene when I make it back in,
and they say, so you win the bet.
Here's the $1,000, and you get my wife.
And they kick over the horrible scene where it's the ice chest and her head rolls out because he's beheaded her.
And I just go screaming and I go after him and his hit man is going to shoot
me.
But the cat runs in front of him,
trips him.
So I get him.
And anyway,
I wind up with the gun,
knock off the hit man.
And there's Kenny.
He's on the couch,
slithering down between the coffee table and the couch.
And in the scene, he just started. I'm threatening him and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do.
And I am just insane. Right. And I've got a gun. And in the scene, he takes this.
I think it was a penthouse magazine. And he just starts thumbing through the penthouse looking.
It's weird.
And it just happened right in the scene, and I'm thinking,
what the hell are you doing?
What are you doing?
I mean, inside, my character was thinking that, and I was thinking that,
and it made an interesting kind of a moment.
And that was Kenny.
Julie, what about two legends you worked with,
Ernest Borgnine and Michael Caine?
Oh, boy.
Any specific memories of either man?
Two favorites of this podcast.
True gentlemen.
Just true, true gentlemen.
And, you know, if Ernest was going to tell a joke and it was dirty,
he would wait for the ladies to leave the room.
Oh, that's nice.
You just, you know.
Just like Gilbert.
Yeah.
And Michael Caine just, you know, a true gentleman as well.
Is it true that Michael Caine had stories,
just millions of stories about the business and about all the
stuff I heard that that he would just regale people with stories oh yes yeah wonderful wonderful
wonderful stories and then I I just worked a little while ago with Shirley MacLaine and it
was so fun to sit around with her because, boy, did she have great stories.
You know, I just sort of like in between takes, it was very cold.
We were up in Canada and we'd bundle up.
And I just listened to all of her stories about the Brat Pack and, you know, going off to England for three months.
And I said, oh, were you doing a play and she said
no we were playing you know to just like take off for three months with the guys and uh you know
just um and you know she worked with everybody everyone you know everybody peter sellers and
you know just jack lemon soup to nuts you know wilder yes yes her brother her brother
uh was kind of successful too yes yeah he did okay he did okay when you when you work with our
friend adam west who did this podcast so gilbert what the second year we were doing this maybe
maybe the first yeah we started this show way back in 2014.
That's so cool.
Now, you were Adam's love interest on Family Guy.
Yes.
Did you record together?
No.
That was like a very big regret.
How unfortunate.
I would call you in, but I was so excited that he was my husband.
But I never got to meet him.
He was very funny on the podcast.
Very funny.
We'll send you that episode.
Oh, that'd be fun.
Iconic.
A charming guy.
Yeah.
He didn't take himself seriously.
And I still didn't get the one with Gilbert singing with Dick Van Dyke.
Oh, she wants to hear you sing with Dick Van Dyke.
Oh, yeah.
We'll get it to you.
Yes.
Can we have a little taste?
At one point, Dick Van Dyke said to me before the song,
he goes, okay, now this part is like a D.
And then he looks and he goes, Oh,
however you want to do it.
He gave up.
I think Neil Berkeley has that on video.
Yeah.
Oh,
you studied with another hero of Gilbert's and a co-star of Gilbert's right.
The great Bill Hickey.
Oh yes.
It was great. I loved it at
HB Studios. And he would come in and, you know, the most wonderful thing that he taught me,
and I think his class was, there was no wrong. You know, like if you wanted to do something,
he didn't challenge you or however you did it was right. So if you wanted to do something, he didn't challenge you or however you did it was right.
So if you wanted to do a cartwheel during a scene that was it was just if it was in your heart, you know, not to.
And he was never critical, never, ever critical.
And so it was very freeing.
I always look forward to going to his class because he never critical. And so it was very freeing. I always look forward to going to his class because he never judged.
Did, did, did you, you know, really spent, and I love, you know,
he was always smoking and, you know,
just sort of hair all askew. He, he was awesome.
Yeah. I remember I worked with him
on Wings
he was Uncle Carlton
and I was his nephew
Louis
I remember
he had one line
where he's talking about my character
and he goes
he's a nice young man
but he's got such an annoying voice.
A legend.
Here's another legend, Gil.
Robert worked with a new Jimmy Caron.
Oh, my God.
Another guest on the show, and I worked with him, too.
Another lovely man.
Wonderful, wonderful guy.
Yeah.
A sweetheart. Yeah. Yeah, he was in uh take this job and shove it with art carney and royal dano and uh gosh there were
there were a couple of guys oh and eddie albert eddie albert and tim thomerson yeah yeah tell
tell us about carney and yes yes there's somebody we're yes we're all curious
oh god he was
I mean a legend
to me but we were in
Dubuque Iowa
and we were staying at whatever
the nice hotel there was
was that a Motel 6
no
but it was
it had a little dining room downstairs.
So he and I went down, had dinner one night and he was telling me different stories about like,
you know, the shooting the cuffs, you know, how, how he would do that on the honeymooners.
Oh yeah. Every time he'd start, he'd move things around and then he'd kind of do this and then.
Oh yes. He got that from his dad and his dad used to do this and then
he would he'd pick up but but he wasn't he was all very precise his dad but and he'd get the paper
set up just right and then he'd kind of do this and then and then he'd move the ink well over just
a half an inch and then he'd kind of do that a little bit and then he'd move the ink well right
back where it had been and all of this just to get ready to sign the paper.
That's all he was doing.
But he would go through this whole thing,
and that's where Art got all that.
Yeah.
And I noticed there was a, go ahead.
No, I think he said he would show him his report card,
which he was always failing in school.
And the father would, like, torture him by doing that you know
waving his hand not saying anything yeah and taking forever there was a woman i noticed
out of the corner of my eye because i had started to develop this little radar you kind of get that
after a while and julie i'm sure you you it, where you can tell when someone's coming up to you. And they got that look in their eye. They got a feeling
about them. You can just sense it. And they're coming up to get an autograph or to give whatever.
And she was coming up here. We're having dinner. And they're coming up right in the middle of our
dinner. And I kind of was pushing food around. i filled up my fork and right when she came up and said i don't mean to bother you i had it
right like that like i was about to put a mouthful and i noticed out of the corner of my eye that art
was doing exactly the same thing and and and she said i don't mean to bother you. And he dropped the fork and said, but you're going to anyway, aren't you?
And she said, well, I just put and I just thought, oh.
And so could I get your autograph?
I said, yes.
And then she said to me, can I get your autograph?
And I said, certainly.
And so I did it.
And then afterwards, I said, I noticed that you did that with the fork.
We were both doing this.
He says, yeah, I noticed that, too. We both did that with the fork. We were both doing this. He says, yeah, I noticed that too.
We both did that at the same time.
It's just timing.
You just want them to kind of get a little accentuation,
a little accent mark on the fact that you know what you're doing.
It's right in the middle of dinner.
We're about to, ah.
McCartney's one of those actors, like Bill Hickey.
I wasn't aware of Bill Hickey until Pritzy's Honor.
As a screen presence, I mean, he'd been working
as an acting teacher for a very long time. And Carney, everybody thought of him as Ed Norton,
but he had a resurgence on the big screen late in his career with Harry and Tonto.
Harry and Tonto, yeah.
And then Going in Style, which is a terrific movie with Strasberg, and your movie. Yeah,
which is a terrific movie with Strasberg and your, and your movie. Yeah.
It's, it's, it's interesting how some of these guys, you know,
get a late career breakthrough. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I had that.
I told you about that picture. That was a treasure. Yeah.
We were between shots and I just had my,
my coat and tie off and I just had a t-shirt on and he had the same thing,
just a shirt,
had some tissue here to keep the makeup off the wardrobe and we were leaning on the railing just leaning looking over down at the brewery and we were shooting in the star brewery real brewery in
Dubuque and we were looking down there we were just talking to each other and and uh the photographer took a picture of it. And then he he in the mail after the film was over, back home and they were going through post on it and whatever else.
But I get this package in the mail. The photographer had taken that picture of us, sent it to art, had him autograph it to me and then sent it to me, which was so nice.
And art was really sweet on it it was really nice
here's another question about uh about two legends that you both well in julie's case someone you
worked with julie tell us something about uh the late great robert altman oh he was he was great it was during his paris time where he decided to go live in paris
he was mad so he and his wife and um it he he's just a lot of fun you could like the mad hatter
you you'd he demanded that everybody go see dailies after work.
And you had to go.
And then sometimes, you know, you'd have dinner and go off with, you know,
he and his wife and pack everybody in the car and you drive around the,
all over Paris.
And you never knew if he,
if he was shooting your foot or your elbow or a close-up.
I mean, he just, you know, and also he could do sound.
He could run a camera. He could do it all.
And just a very, you know, I think he loved, I don't think I know, he loved making movies.
And he felt very, you know, they were, you know, I guess if a movie was held up or didn't come out for,
I think it was a couple of years before a couple of his films came out.
And then, but he, yeah, Mad Hatter, like working with Mad Hatter.
What a body of work.
Yes, indeed. Yeah.
And Robert, tell Gilbert and Julie
what the story you told me about Brando at the party.
Oh, well, but before that, I was going to say,
I worked with Altman also.
You did?
But yeah, but it was not, you said, Gilbert,
you said it in the opening things.
It wasn't Mr. T and the women.
It was Dr. T and the women.
Mr. T and the women was another film.
Did he say Mr. T and the women?
I'd like to see that movie.
Yeah, yeah.
And that was the movie where he goes, yeah.
Get those legs up, you fool.
Get those legs up.
I'm going to check you out, fool.
Mr. T is a gynecologist.
Yes.
Don't give me that jibber jabber.
Forgive me, Robert.
I should have asked you about Altman as well.
Well, he was wonderful, but it's different getting into a car and driving around Paris.
Or like for me, it was getting in a car and driving around Paris or like for me,
it was getting a car and driving around Dallas. That's not quite the same.
Yeah. We go to barbecue. We go to barbecue out there.
And they rented a place that was beautiful, big, big,
beautiful home in a very nice section of Dallas.
And he and his wife, she was so sweet, Really nice lady. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful and really,
really sweet. And and so I it was Thanksgiving and I stuck around rather than flying back and
then flying back and forth. I just stayed there. And so he had me over. I'd go over and have dinner with them all the time
and
we'd talk about
filmmaking, we'd talk about editing
I just would sit and listen to him
get him going
you both got to know him
they were really both great
he embraced his actors
and he wanted to have dinners
and groups
he wanted their input, too.
He'd like to get the actors' input.
Yeah, which was great.
Wonderful.
He made great films in, what, four different decades.
I mean, the guy really had a, just, and in different genres,
real impressive body of work.
And his son, who I think was 16 at the time,
he'd have his sons and his daughters and son-in-laws and nieces and nephews. Everybody was part. They worked on the time. He'd have his sons and his daughters and son-in-laws and
nieces and nephews. Everybody was part.
They worked on the set. They all worked on
the show. Everybody was part.
His son was, I think, 16, one of his boys.
When he was doing MASH
and he was saying, gee, I want to do something.
I want to do something. He says, well, why don't you
just go write a song, write a theme song
for it? He came up with
Suicide is Painless. He made more
money on MASH because of
the deal that Altman had.
Than Altman ever made on it.
And he didn't have, I mean, normally he
directed the film, but they had
really screwed him out of that. So
when they did the series, normally
you also did the original
product, and then
you would get a residual through
the DGA or whatever. And he never did get any of that,
which I thought was pretty crappy, but yeah.
That's a great film.
McCabe and Mrs. Miller is one I could watch over and over again.
Any time. A real genius. But tell, tell Gilbert, if you can, what,
what you're, you're about, you're running with Brando. Cause it's funny.
I, I was doing a film while I was doing a film with, uh, um, a guy, Andrew McGlaglin,
who is Victor McGlaglin's son, uh, who, who won the Academy award for best actor for
the informer, the John Ford. Yeah. And, uh, uh, his daughter, he set me up with his daughter mary and so one of our first dates that
we went on was to go to the family that she lived with so much she was almost like uh part of the
family because she grew up with the daughters and and when her folks would be having a little
trouble whatever she'd be over there all the time with them. And it was a guy that had worked in the mailroom.
And when Brando came out from New York on the train, they sent him down and said, yeah, we got a new actor.
You go down and meet him, this kid in the mailroom.
And so when Brando meets him there, he says, so you're my agent.
And he said, no, no, no, no, I just work in the mailroom.
They sent me down here to meet you.
And he says, no, they're the ones,
you're the one that they said to come down and meet me.
So you're my agent.
So overnight, Jay Cantor went from a mailroom guy
to one of the most powerful agents in Hollywood.
And then later became a studio executive.
So we go to Jay Cantor's house
because Marlon is the godfather to his daughter. And so we go to Jake Hanter's house because Marlon is the godfather
to his daughter.
And so we go to his house
in the backyard.
They're having a big,
you know, the wedding,
the reception and everything.
And we're sitting there.
I'm sitting next to Brando
at one of those big round tables
that have about 10 people.
And a photographer said,
with this Hungarian sort of accent, he says, Marlon, about 10 people. And a photographer said,
with this Hungarian sort of accent, he says, Marlon, let me get a picture.
And he was the only paparazzi guy
that Marlon would ever allow around.
So Brando grabbed me by the shoulder, turned me around,
and he took a picture of the two of us.
And I knew this guy.
And later he told me, I knew if I asked him for a
picture he would do that and so that was the picture that I wound up with me and Marlon Brando
him with his arm around me holding me around wow didn't you didn't you didn't you start to tell a
joke and he cut off your punchline after that someone came up someone came now this is Marlo
Marlon when he was in the heavy period
which you know the end of his life he was very very heavy i mean morbidly obese morbidly obese
would be yeah the safe description yeah yeah and someone gave him a t-shirt which might have
maybe fit his thumb but but uh so he had the T-shirt sitting right here between us and we were just kind of telling jokes and just doing stuff around the table.
And so I started telling a joke that I thought was a very funny joke.
People really liked the joke a lot.
And I was telling it and it kind of sets it up.
And then you get to right where the punchline is.
And Marlon starts, you know, I remember there was a time where there was just something.
He was mumbling something.
And I picked up.
It was just an instinct.
I picked up the T-shirt and I threw it at him.
And I said, not the punchline, Marlon.
And then I thought to myself, oh, what have I just done?
And so then I went on and I finished. And all the people are standing there with their mouths hanging open like, ah, and I'm thinking, yeah, Jesus.
And then later on, apparently Marlon tells Jay Cantor that, you know, this is really fun.
I think I'd like to have a party.
I think this is really I really enjoyed this a lot.
And I'd like to have that that Bobby Hayes. I'd like to have a party. I really enjoyed this a lot. And I'd like to have that Bobby Hayes.
I'd like to have him at the party.
So apparently he liked me throwing the T-shirt.
You won over Marlon Brando.
Yeah, with a T-shirt toss.
All it took was a T-shirt toss.
Question for Julie from a listener from Stevie Thomas.
Julie, how did you so accurately capture the wine-dr mom for marriage story is she a wine drunk she's she's
a little ditzy um i i just you know once again i mean no uh is word for word perfect you know
if there's not one word that's off so I
said his words and I did what he told me to do and I had a great time he's
amazing to work with he's like you can see when he's working it's really when
he's shooting it's his playground and I mean I just was honored to be working
with the beautiful Scarlett Johansson and Merritt Weaver and and no I just was honored to be working with the beautiful Scarlett Johansson and
Merritt Weaver. And, and no, I just said my words.
It's a terrific movie.
Is Scarlett Johansson, I saw her around people. Is she small?
She is. She can wear stripes going, you know,
sideways. Not many people can.
She's so beautiful.
And, you know, she just comes in.
You know, we had to sing this song in the movie.
It was Sondheim.
And I was just like, I don't sing.
I don't dance.
I was, like, literally singing and dancing and having people come work with me
at my house.
And, plus, they were teaching us.
And we had practice I mean so and then
Merritt and I were like just sweating and then Scarlett comes in and just does it in five minutes
and was oh bye but she's so such a great lovely gal not only is she just brilliant, but, um,
we shot late at night and she would, and you know, she didn't brag about it or tell anybody.
I found out from somebody else that she would have like a, uh, uh,
tomato soup and grilled cheese truck come or a beignet truck come for the
crew, you know, late at night and just uh that's you know a great great young
late i i mean she's early 30s you know she's still a baby and and look at her you know uh work
and uh just a joy to be around just a joy we will return to gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast after
this okay i have to go from a joy to a negative experience or at least a challenging experience
can you say anything about shooting what about bob um well whatever you've heard i can say it was all true.
So Dreyfus says that Bill Murray threw a heavy ashtray at his head.
Yes, he did.
I'm not saying it, you know, Richard, Richard has said that. And I, you know, I was next to my, my house was next to the, uh, the office house. And I know there was – it was not a happy –
I had fun because I'm sort of like a happy idiot, but it got a little –
Frank Oz, who directed it, was just wonderful, you know,
and then sometimes he'd go, please direct us like Miss Piggy, you know, so it just gets tense.
But, you know, everything you've heard is true.
You're dealing with two mercurial characters there.
I think it worked great for the movie.
Yeah, it's a fun film.
You know, but it was uh you never knew what was gonna
happen the day you went to work so gilbert what's your what's your favorite laugh in airplane
gilbert a verbal joke or a visual joke oh god there are so many i've decided i have mine after
last night okay it's it's kenneth is it kenneth toby is on the phone you i think you used
him in starman too by the way yes he's on the phone and he says he's the guy's a menace to
everything in the air yes birds too two that's my new favorite and i remember because we were We were talking about the chicken or fish thing,
and they said, well, we serve chicken or fish.
And Leslie Nielsen's fish, I remember.
I had the lasagna.
Yeah.
That's another great one.
I'm also fond of when Jonathan Banks, who would become a big star on Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul,
as you're flying, he's monitoring you.
He says, 900 feet, 1,300 feet.
What an asshole.
He's all over the place.
He's all over the place.
What an asshole.
That's one of my favorites.
That's one of my favorites. That's one of my favorites.
That's a great joke.
Also, I loved, it's kind of like the boys.
It's a real great example of the boys, of their stuff.
And that's Leslie and Peter.
When they're right behind the cockpit and he says,
how long before you can land?
I can't tell you that.
You can tell me I'm a doctor.
No, I mean, I just don't know.
Well, can't you take a guess well not for another three hours you can't take a guess for
three hours no i mean you just can't land i mean to me that was just and the timing on everything
and that deadpan look of leslie's i love when he's lying and he's when he's lying and his nose is growing yeah it's a broomstick he says
they're at the controls they're flying the plane free to pursue a life of religious freedom
religious fulfillment oh and when the woman asks for like a really small, light reading. And they go, here's a pamphlet on Jewish athletes.
Yeah, famous Jewish sports legends.
Yes.
That's one of those examples I think they were talking about, Julie,
of you playing something exactly as straight as it could possibly be.
Yeah.
Also, when you say, is there anybody who knows how to fly a plane? something exactly as straight as it could possibly be. Yeah. Yeah.
Also, when you say,
is there anybody who knows how to fly a plane?
You guys.
That was the genius of the boys.
As we wind it down, we had Jason Alexander on the show,
and he was telling us, and this happens to Gilbert too.
Gilbert, we've talked about how people approach you and say a comedy bit
or something from Aladdin meant so much to them.
From Saturday Night Live.
Yes.
And that SNL season.
That episode you did with Robin Hayes.
When you did that elephant man sketch.
Jason told us that some military men approached him while he was having dinner and told him that they were deployed and how much Seinfeld had meant to them.
And it really became a part of their lives.
So here's a movie 40 years ago.
You guys read this script.
You go in.
It's a job.
Could you have imagined looking back 40 and
i'm sure you've even been asked this question 40 years later the impact that this thing has had not
only on your own careers but on the lives of so many people yeah you you must feel a you must feel
a sense of gratitude about it absolute gratitude and joy and surprise.
And just, it's super neat, huh, Bob?
Oh gosh. I always figure like we won the lottery.
Yeah.
It was, it's been so great.
Even when people run up and do the lines and, you know.
Oh, I love it.
For 40 years, it hasn't bothered you?
Not one iota.
No, I just...
People come up, they'll come up to me.
I don't know if they do this with you,
but they come up to me and they'll say,
oh, I know you're probably sick of hearing this,
but gosh, I just loved Airplane.
And I have to say, okay, now hold it right there.
You're taking a chance
and I'm going to be one of those jerks.
So that's kind of maybe a little scary.
Who knows how I'm going to react.
But you take that chance. You come up to me and you want to tell me that you love something that
I did. Why would I be sick of hearing that? And they start laughing and they say, Oh good. I'm
glad. Oh. And I, and then they want me to sign something or whatever, but it's just been great.
40 years of bliss. Yeah. Did you think? Yeah, it is. I imagine even, I know it's 40 years of bliss 40 years yeah did you think it's amazing yeah it is i imagine
even i know it's 40 years ago and it's jogging your memory but at any point during the making
or during the production did did you did you even let yourself entertain the idea that wow this
could really be something that that endures or this could be something or you're just trying to
get to the i mean you were running around working around working 20 hour days, but. I started thinking that, gosh, you know, this could be like,
this could be like a cult classic on the college circuit. So it really have some legs, you know,
it didn't last for a while, you know, and then we all started thinking when the dailies would,
they were running dailies over and over four or
five times in a row to get all the people in that wanted to see them at the studio and then the word
started coming back that it was like oh gosh there's really there's you know there's some
talk about this there's a buzz that's starting so then everybody just didn't speak and we were
standing around about five of us standing around.
And one kid came up and he was there doing a day, you know, just kind of in and out for a little quick thing or two days or something.
And he came right up into the group and said, hey, I hear this thing is going to be a smash hit.
And everybody turned and walked away because we didn't want to hex it.
Wow.
So we started feeling maybe, what's it going to be
we don't know but maybe a little something maybe and then people started coming up to me friends
of mine had come up to me and said hey i just saw a trailer for your film because that's my film
that was my very first film so you know it was that they hadn't it wasn't oh which film it was
the only one so they said so trailers for the film.
Those are all the jokes, right?
And I said, nope.
Both of you.
And Julie, same question.
I mean, did you, at any point during the process or, or, or, you know, when it first came out
and I imagine you saw it with an audience.
No, I, I, I had gone back to New York and I,
it was weird.
I was babysitting for money.
My girlfriend's grandmother's alcohol.
So,
you know,
I was just kind of,
then when they had a screening on Broadway in a big theater and my brother and I went, I remember he bought me a new pair of shoes to wear with this dress.
Oh, nice. I mean, it's just sort of I was worried about, you know, trying to get an apartment and then I got a sofa and then got out of the alcove. And, you know, and then it was just joy that I think it never really dawned on me until later.
And it's just such a joy now.
such a joy now. I mean, I was just, what I really mean from my heart, I was just grateful because it opened doors and got other work. And I got out of Susie Mara's grandmother's alcove.
Your first movie, both of you, and it turns out to be a movie preserved by the National Film Registry at the Library of Congress.
Isn't that cool?
Yeah.
A film deemed culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.
Your first movie, your first time.
I got a great friend from it, Mr. Hayes.
Oh, how nice.
Yeah.
It's so fun.
It's so fun because we get together.
Well, we're not at the moment because of the certain little virus floating around.
But we love getting together and having dinner.
And it's just really great.
She and Richard and Gina and I.
I mean, it's just really fun.
Really, really fun.
So it's 40 years of friendship.
And whether you like it or not, Gilbert, it's just really fun. Really, really fun. So it's 40 years of friendship. And whether you like
it or not, Gilbert, you're still my
friend.
Gilbert, you can't escape.
You can run, you can
hide, but you're going to be
my friend.
Gilbert, go ahead no i think back on those days in spain hang out together i know we used to go to that little coffee shop and all squeeze into a booth
yes and then and you'd make fun of me and make me laugh run away from you and you come running making you
know talking like me and so then i'd have to talk like you but i can't do it
yeah julie rides horses gil yeah that's where you said i hate it here. They all hate shoes here.
Yeah.
Any memory of saying that, Julie?
Yes.
Yeah.
She's saying no.
I don't.
She's shaking her head no.
I think you might have changed it to make it Gilbertism.
Gilbert, Julie has a horse that she rides if you go to L.A. to visit her.
Julie, will you let him ride?
Sure.
And I, you know, before when we was trying to get everything working here,
which always takes three hours.
Yeah.
And everyone was pressing their cell phones.
I thought, oh, shit, the last time I saw both of you,
there was no such a thing as a cell phone.
A cell phone, no.
No.
I've known you all too long.
Isn't that nutty?
Yeah.
And I think even the computers were like that.
In fact, in Airplane, when Jonathan Banks and the guys were playing,
they thought they were being cool because that was state-of-the-art.
That little Atari basketball or whatever that was.
Those little stick figures.
Oh, my God.
Computers was something you saw in science fiction movies
or the villain of a James Bond film.
Movie, yes.
Or the Jetsons.
We're grateful because the technology has allowed us to do this and to connect with you guys.
Isn't this crazy?
This is a crazy time.
Chaotic time.
And we thank you both so, so much.
And we thank you for being such an important part of the culture.
Oh, well, thank you. And it was nice to meet you, Frank and Gilbert.
Next time I come to New York, watch out.
I'm going to find you.
And I want to share something.
My lovely wife walked into the room with us before we started.
Can you see what this says?
Frank, I just want to tell you good luck.
We're all counting on you.
Leslie.
Leslie lives.
Yes, Leslie lives.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you.
Gilbert will always have SNL, Gilbert.
We'll always have SNL.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to Google it and find it and watch it.
This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.
And we've been talking to the man who co-starred with Mr. T.
Robin Hayes.
Fool, you're a fool.
And the girl who has a more annoying voice than me.
Julie Haggard.
Julie, Robert, this is a tremendous kick.
Thank you.
Oh, this is great fun.
Happy 40th anniversary.
I love that you guys do these.
I think it's wonderful.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, guys.
This was really, really, really fun.
Thank you.
God bless you both.
Thank you! Thank you. ¶¶