Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Andrea Martin Encore
Episode Date: January 16, 2023GGACP celebrates the birthday (January 15) of Tony and Emmy-winning actress-comedian Andrea Martin with this ENCORE presentation of an interview from 2018. In this episode, Andrea talks about the long...-lost era of variety television, the strange world of Internet celebrity, the proposed "SCTV" reunion and the origin of classic characters Edith Prickley and Perini Scleroso. Also, Merv Griffin signs off, Bob Dylan overstays his welcome, Lee Grant crushes on Gilbert and Andrea remembers her friends John Candy and Harold Ramis. PLUS: Señor Wences! "Cannibal Girls"! Dueling Floyd the Barbers! The return of Rick Moranis! And Andrea tells the only joke she knows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I'm Don Murray, and you're listening to Gilbert Godfrey's amazing podcast.
I love it.
Thank you.
I forgot one word.
Oh, it doesn't matter. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried,
and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast.
I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa.
is a writer, singer, and Tony and Emmy-winning actress and one of the most original and admired comedy performers of her generation.
You've seen her in popular movies like
Cannibal Girls, Black Christmas, Club Paradise,
Inner Space, Wag the Dog, Night at the Museum,
Secret of the Tomb,
The Producers,
Hedgewig and the
Angry Inch. Hedgewig,
but close enough. Either one,
I don't care. I'm
stop listening. How to
Eat Fried Worms,
and of course,
as Anne Fowler in one of the most successful comedies of all time,
My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Her TV credits are too numerous to mention, but what the hell?
The Carol Burnett Show.
The Martin Short Show.
The Simpsons.
Norm. Nurse Jackie, 30 Rock, Martin, Martin Family, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Great News, just to name a few. ever be known and beloved by audiences as the unforgettable characters she created on
the iconic sketch series SCTV, including Edna Boyle, Libby Wolfson, Perrini Scarolosa,
and the over-eager and over-sexed Edith Brickley. You want more? She's also the star of
the stage, appearing in hit Broadway shows such as Fiddler on the Roof, Noises Off, Young
Frankenstein, as well as Pippin and My Favorite Year, for which she was awarded
the Tony for Best Actress in a Musical.
Her funny and touching 2014 memoirs is called Lady Parts, and we're thrilled to welcome her to the show one of our favorite performers
and a woman who claims that cole schaefer has always been fascinated with her breasts
the great andrea martin wow that's that's That's a tough act to follow.
You've done a lot, Andrea.
And it is my act, so that's a crazy thing, yeah.
Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
You've done a lot.
Yeah.
I guess I have.
Well, some of those movies, though.
All right.
You were very thorough with IMDB, let me tell you.
Because I do not know.
Some of the movies I don't remember even doing.
Some of us have seen Cannibal Girls.
Yes, yes, Cannibal Girls.
Now, listen, I'm very proud of Cannibal Girls.
It was Ivan Reitman's second film after Foxy Lady, another movie that I did first.
And I was just a kid out of college.
And Eugene Levy and I improvised the entire movie, and we won the Best Actor and Actress Award at the International Horror Film Festival in Spain called the Sitkus Award.
Like, it's still going on.
Come on.
That's pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
All right.
The first movie's out of print, huh?
The other one?
Foxy Lady? I asked Ivan if I could have a copy, and he said it was in the bowels of his home down the basement.
He doesn't want to go and find it.
He doesn't want to go find it.
He doesn't want anybody to see it.
And Frank and I were discussing something that I found very disturbing and irrational.
You always wanted to be a Jew.
You know, I don't know if I always wanted to be, but I grew up in Portland, Maine, and I'm Armenian.
And, you know, there wasn't a very large community of Armenians, and we lived in a community of Jews.
So I felt like that's where I belong. It was easier
to explain to somebody I was Jewish than Armenian. So there you are. But that's cool to be Jewish.
You know, we've done 220 of these and he obsesses over every Jewish guest.
He counts them like notches in a bedpost.
See, you should write a book.
It's cool to be Jewish.
Now, but didn't both, I think the Armenians also were victims of a Holocaust, weren't they not?
Yes, yes.
Yes, in fact, Hitler said who, because the genocide was in 1915, and as he was committing all the atrocities, he said, who remembers the Armenians?
It's not the actual quote, but very close to that, meaning we can get away with this.
Nobody remembers anyway. And, you know, the genocide is not accepted here in the United States.
You know, we could get into that.
Wow.
Because, you know, Turkey and the United States are allies,
and the Turks disavowed, completely said it was just a mutual war
where both sides got hurt.
But 1.5 million Armenians were slaughtered.
And it's well documented that it was a genocide.
Your trip to Armenia, by the way, is one of the most interesting parts of the book.
I love that.
Well, I was putting together a one-woman show.
Thank you for saying that.
And it dawned on me that I literally knew nothing about my I mean I knew what food that we
ate and I knew that my grandfather's name ended with IAM which all Armenian names do but I really
didn't know what it was like to stand on that soil to be in Armenia to see faces that looked like
mine and to really feel at home. So I went to Armenia,
to Yerevan. I've been back a few times now because I'm associated with the Children of Armenia Fund.
I host their benefit every year. So that's my big charity and it's an extraordinary
charity. And yes, it was kind of life-changing really to um it is it's fascinating
to read about it through your eyes as you kind of experience and you and and for all these people
suffering and all their hardship there's great camaraderie there's great they're they're welcoming
to you they're welcoming to to yes visitors for sure they go out of their way for people they do
i was just reading an article in the new york about a Turkish young woman, Turkish photographer, an Armenian photographer,
who together went to Turkey to document Armenians who had to, in order to live, had to convert from Christians to Muslim faith.
And two of them together
because there are so many enemies,
Turks and Armenians,
or they've been taught to be.
It was a beautiful article
that together they were support for each other
and then Armenians who had to lie for so many years
saying that they weren't Armenians
came out and were able to speak the truth
to these two young women.
So I think there are changes slowly.
And in Armenia right now,
the prime minister was ousted
and a new prime minister is in, a new president.
So I'm hopeful for changes.
Let's hope.
Yeah.
And one famous Armenian,
and of course I'm getting a block on his name.
There are many famous Armenians.
Cher.
Cher.
The Kardashians.
Right.
Well, the one I'm thinking is-
Charles Aznavour.
Who else?
The Doctor of Death.
Yes.
Kevorkian.
Oh, Kevorkian.
Yeah, Kevorkian was Armenian.
He was Armenian.
Are you related to- Was that a joke in the book, that you're related to Aznavour and Mike Connors?
No, no, no, no.
But when I was growing up, you know, this was before the Kardashians.
They were the only kind of well-known Armenians.
And so, you know, we joked that we were all affiliated in some way.
I thought we had something special on our hands there, that you were a cousin of Mike Connors.
You know, if I ever dared to do that, what is that called where you get your DNA?
Oh, I've done it. Ancestry.com.
I'm so scared about doing it.
Oh, no, you should do it. My wife and I did. It's fascinating.
Really?
You just spit in a vial and you send it in.
Yeah, but did you find out stuff? What if I found out that I was an Armenian and I was a Jew?
What if I found that out?
What if, Gil?
He'd make you come back and do a part two.
Yes.
It's not scary.
Now, you did, I want to bring it away from any real emotions and feelings and bring it into the dirt.
Sure.
You did a production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
Yes.
Is it true you fucked Linus?
Oh, wow.
I wouldn't have used that word, but he became my boyfriend.
Yes.
Yes.
Charles Schultz was mortified.
I can imagine.
Lucy and Linus, yes.
Here's a reason that I moved to Canada, actually.
I toured in the United States with the Canadian company,
the First National Company.
And his name was Derek McGrath.
He's a successful actor in Canada.
And he became my boyfriend on the road,
and I would go back to Toronto.
And I stayed there for 18 years
because of that initial relationship.
I just thought of Frau Bluka when you screamed,
he was my boyfriend.
He was my boyfriend.
He was a bully and a brute.
All right.
Yes.
So you fucked Linus.
Yes, thank you.
And that's the important, well, that's all I wanted to know.
I think it was an actual relationship.
And you studied mime.
I did.
I studied mime with Jacques Lecoq.
That's not his real name.
His real name is Harry Lecoq.
I used that in my one-person show.
Thank you for laughing.
Because I'm like, is that funny or not really?
That's Peter Marshall's real name, the game show host.
Yeah, Lecoq.
Peter Lecoq.
Is that true?
True.
True.
His name was Jacques Lecoq.
Yes, I did study mime there. Yes, because I've always been fascinated with Fellini and clowns, real clowns and not the kind of –
Do you feel it helped you as an actress knowing mime?
I think anything helps you as an actress.
Here's what doesn't help you as an actress, tweeting or Instagram.
I mean, I think anything that expands your mind and you learn something new helps you as an actress.
So, of course, it did.
I lived in Paris for two years.
And I don't know.
And I guess I had a lot of respect for physical comedians after studying for two years.
You know, I loved Robin Williams.
I thought he was a great physical comedian.
Steve Martin, Marty Short, a lot of great people that didn't study mime. But I have a profound respect for physical comedy.
Profound respect for physical comedy.
And you were talking about the whole media thing, the whole, you know, Instagram.
Yeah, social media.
Yeah.
That it's one of those things you're kind of turned off by.
I am.
Yes.
Yes, I am. But, you know, if people want to do that as a pastime, I mean, I like to knit and go to the museum.
But if people find it interesting to do, that's all right.
You know, it's okay.
But to me, it's nerve-wracking, anxiety-provoking, and kind of keeps me in a superficial state for many hours.
I'm just thinking, did I look good in that photo?
So I don't have – I'm not on anything. I'm just thinking, did I look good in that photo? So I don't have,
I'm not on anything.
I don't have anything.
And I think you said that
when you start thinking
in terms of social media,
then you're going,
oh, maybe I can have a photo
of me buying this coffee.
Yes, exactly.
And that'll look,
that'll be popular.
Exactly.
Boy, if you could really be, I guess people can become popular buying coffee and taking a picture.
Well, it's so weird to me now.
Yeah.
Like, I think in terms of stardom as Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts.
Yeah.
But nowadays, stars are someone who squeezes a blackhead and shows it on the computer.
And what are they, what's that called now?
What's that?
When young kids are discovered.
You mean YouTube stars?
Yeah.
What are they, what's that called?
There's a name.
Oh, dear.
Does anybody know in that room?
What are you referring to specifically?
The kind of people that are discovered there.
Internet stars?
No, no, no.
There's another word.
Phenoms?
We'll find out.
We'll find out.
Doing research.
Writing it on here.
Dara's on the job.
I think it begins with an I.
Does it?
What does that say?
I can't read it.
Influencers.
Influencers.
Influencers.
Yes, yes, yes.
Very good, Dara.
There you go.
Of course, it's like these people are like 14 years old.
Yeah.
They go on, they'll chew gum, film it on their phone, put it on the internet.
Or do pranks.
Pranks are very big.
Pranks, yeah.
But you know what, Gilbert?
You know, when I was growing up in Portland, Maine, I used to rush home every day after school and watch American Bandstand.
And really kind of it's the same thing, you know.
Young kids from Philadelphia became famous from doing American Bandstand.
And Fabian and Frankie Avalon and all those guys kind of became famous from that world, the Philly world.
And I don't know.
Maybe it's just a different way
for people to gain success.
I don't know how long lasting it is,
but it's instant.
And I guess, you know, you take anything
that can give you a way in.
So your point is that every generation
has its showcase.
I think that's a really good point.
Remember Queen for the Day?
Of course.
That's really beyond – yeah.
And I find myself, and I'm sure you do too, the older you get, the more you sound like the adults of years ago going, oh, see, in my day, yeah, that was talent.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I don't know if I feel that judgmental.
Certainly, I say in my day, for God's sakes, because nobody knows what I'm talking about.
But I think there's so much competition.
I think any footing you can get.
There was a young girl here who was interning.
I think, you know, any way you can find your way in knowing somebody, being on American Bandstand, being an influencer,
I say go for it.
That's the easy part.
The difficult part is longevity.
So, you know, if you can get your foot in the door,
fabulous, and then work hard and have a career.
So I don't feel it's so judgmental, really.
Did you send fan letters to Dick Clark?
You were kind of so enamored of Bandstand.
Completely.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I had a boyfriend, a Kenny Rossi, an Arlene Sullivan.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I used to have a locket.
And I had Kenny Rossi on one side.
He was just a kid from Philly who danced every afternoon.
And on the other side, it said, I love Kenny.
Andrea.
And I would toss it out my bedroom window every night,
hoping that maybe karmically he could find his way to me. I love Kenny, Andrea, and I would toss it out my bedroom window every night hoping that maybe karmically he could find his way to me.
I love it.
You said something in the book.
You said a part of you died when Dick Clark died.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, Ryan Seacrest took over, right? That's not the same.
No.
We had Avalon here, by the way, speaking of those Philly guys.
You did?
We had him on the show.
Oh, my God.
We've done 200 of these now.
Yeah.
We had Bobby Rydell, too.
Oh, my God. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall. Oh, my God. We've done 200 of these now. Yeah. We had Bobby Rydell, too. Oh, my God.
I wish I'd been a fly on the wall.
That would have been fascinating.
Yeah, yeah.
And Paul Anka.
I loved Paul Anka.
We haven't had Paul yet.
And you were saying about your career, thinking about it, like as far as what stuff, what
parts to take and what parts not to take.
And then you said, nobody cares.
What part you're taking?
Yeah, like it's like to the public.
Yeah.
No one really cares.
Like if you did this movie that everyone said, oh, you shouldn't do that.
Yes, I think that's right.
Here's what I found out now in my life.
That people are thinking about me far less than I think they're thinking about me.
Nobody's really thinking about me.
It's a good observation.
Nobody's really thinking about anybody really but themselves and maybe a few influencers.
Let's tie that around.
That's my second city training.
The ending is in the beginning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes my ego gets the best of me.
I was on a flight from L.A. a week ago, and the pilot said to me,
wait, I am old enough to know who you are.
And I thought, wait, is that a compliment?
No, I kind of, but you know, why am I expecting to,
But, you know, why am I expecting to – it's a terrible thing to be expecting to be recognized or lauded for what you've done.
I think the great thing to do is pray for opportunities and keep getting better and surround yourself with people that love you. Didn't you come to a turning point, though, where you started saying yes more than you ever had?
Yes, I did.
Interesting. Lee Grant had the same revelation.
Did she really?
Yeah, she wrote a book about it.
I find that agents and managers, they justify their position.
If you're offered something, they'll go, no, no, really bad move.
And it shows that, see, that's why you hire them.
Because they know it. Well, it also gives gives them power they consolidate their power that way oh exactly my agent and manager are not like
that yeah it's a great collaboration we've been together many many years and i will say to them
what do you think and they'll come up with something. It's always about the material, actually.
It's very seldom about anything else.
So it's kind of an artistic exploration.
I really love our relationship.
You're fortunate to have that relationship.
What's that?
You're fortunate to have that relationship.
I am very, yes, yes.
And to the general public, you know, like when you're in this business,
you always think, oh, gee, let's see, that guy's bigger than I am.
Yeah.
But that guy, I'm bigger than him.
And it's like, but this guy's gaining on me and I'm gaining.
And it's like to the public, you know, Tom Cruise and the guy that played Screech are stars.
There's no differentiation.
Dustin Diamond from Saved by the Bell he's referencing.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
There's no.
Yes, I hear what you're saying.
Yeah.
A guy, you know, Robert De Niro and a guy in a hemorrhoid commercial.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're both big stars.
Yeah, yeah.
I know what you're saying.
You know what I watched the first part of and i was going to watch the second
part before i came in here because i thought um because you know you come from the world of stand
up comedy and i've never done stand-up comedy but i was watching judd apatow's um uh documentary on Oh, on Gary Shandling. Gary Shandling. And I found it – I guess I felt like maybe I'm not working hard enough.
That I was so amazed that even at the age he was, he was still thinking about jokes and material.
And then I remembered the documentary on Joan Rivers.
And to the day she died way too early, and Gary Shanley too,
she was thinking about jokes, how to write jokes.
You know, that's not a world that I've ever experienced,
but I just find it so admirable to want to challenge yourself up to the very end.
What do you think about that?
We also had Bruce Stern on the show.
Yeah.
And he's in his 80s.
Yeah.
And he said he always wants to improve as an actor.
For sure.
But that's different than writing jokes, I think.
But maybe not to you because that's your livelihood.
It's writing.
Well, Gilbert hasn't written a new joke
since 1979.
But I'm working on my Robert Mitchum imitation.
He's got a Lionel Barrymore bit
that's going to kill you.
Sentimental Hogwarts.
Did you see that documentary? Oh, yes. It wasal Hogwarts. Wait, what did you,
did you see that documentary?
Oh, yes.
It was moving.
And what do you think about it?
Oh, it was very good, yeah.
Did you know Gary Shanley?
I mean, not well.
I used to talk to him
from time to time,
run into him, but.
Yeah.
But, and you had.
I met him a handful of times, too.
I found him fascinating. Yeah, was he fascinating? Yeah, I found him a handful of times, too. I found him fascinating.
Yeah, was he fascinating, too?
Yeah, I found him fascinating for a lot of reasons.
Uh-huh.
But he was deep.
Yes, yes.
He was a deep thinker.
Yeah.
My one Gary Shandling story is one time I had a burst appendix, and I had to get another operation to pull my stomach back together.
Oh, my gosh.
operation to pull my stomach back together oh my gosh and i was talking to gary shandling about it and he said you know what what hospital are you gonna be and i said new york eye and ear
and he goes well that's a strange choice shouldn't it be new york stomach and ass. He said that?
Yes.
That's a good line.
You had Bob Dylan as a house guest.
Wow.
Yeah.
That is some good research.
Yeah.
Amazing.
I'm impressed, Gil.
Wow.
See, Frank's impressed because usually I'm here.
And Frank will yell out, Andrea, you know people with an A in their name?
Well, I'm so impressed I'm not even going to point out the fact that she wasn't there when he was a house guest.
Yes.
Yeah, she wasn't there.
She was on the road.
She put herself into the story.
I'm going to put myself in.
Well, I worship Bob Dylan.
I just saw a documentary that Marty Scorsese did.
We screened it because he's directing the SCTV doc.
Yes.
So he had us see it.
It was for somebody who idolizes Bob Dylan.
It was so insightful and profound and saw a different side of Bob Dylan.
But yes, he rented my home in Toronto when he was there.
I don't know what he, maybe he was shooting a film.
But when I got back to the house, the only albums that were out were his.
I thought that was fascinating.
How bizarre.
Yeah.
And didn't you say there were burn marks?
Yes.
Burn holes in your furniture.
There were some marijuana holes on my comforter and furniture.
So he would like light up a joint and burn a hole?
Good for him.
Did you ever meet Dylan in your travels?
No.
Do you care to give Andrea a little bit of your Dylan bit?
Oh, geez.
Okay.
This is my bit.
Bob Dylan talking to Floyd the Barber
on the old Andy Griffith show.
Yeah.
Hello, Floyd.
Hello, Bob.
How are you, Floyd?
I'm fine.
Hello, Bob.
That's hysterical.
Always loved it.
It is just one octave lower than the other.
It's amazing.
Didn't Eugene do Floyd the Barber on CTV?
I wish he'd been here.
We've got to get Eugene in here.
You guys do a dueling.
We had Dave on the show.
You did?
Yeah, Dave was here a couple of weeks ago.
On Skype from L.A., but great.
Of course, it is Bob Hope.
Of course.
It is staggering.
It is uncanny.
Yeah.
I mean, there are impressions, and then there are impressions.
Amazing.
And that is...
And now we're going to have a commercial,
which in my day was when they would advertise a product and they'd refer to it as a commercial.
They'd play it on the radio.
Radios were like little boxes that sound came out of.
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Live from Nutmeg Post, we now return to Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal podcast.
This is something that will fascinate Gilbert. You loved variety shows. I love this part of the book.
You had a soft spot for animal acts.
Yeah.
But particularly,
a particular talk show and a particular animal act.
Oh.
Are you talking about
the Ernie Kovac show?
Well, no.
I was talking about
the marquee chimps
on the Sullivan show.
Oh, I love those chimps.
Us too.
We've talked about them.
Oh, my gosh.
Those chimps were,
they could ride tricycles
with little skirts on.
Yeah.
They could jump over each other with like a blouse and a vest.
Is that story true?
That was pretty amazing.
Yes.
Tell Gilbert that story.
It's wonderful.
Oh, my gosh.
Let me see if I can remember it.
So it was on the Ed Sullivan show, the Marquis Chimps.
It was on the Ed Sullivan show, The Marquis Chimps.
And the act was, let's say it was three minutes long, Mr. Marquis.
And so the stage manager came up to him and said, you know, you've got to cut the act because we're over.
You have to cut it.
He says, well, what do you mean cut it?
They're chimps.
I can't say to them we're going to cut the act. So instead they did he said instead you know what we can do let's start the act behind the curtain and two minutes in just um raise the curtain and we will
be in the middle of the act and that's how they did this i'm a really bad storyteller no i like
that story okay i love that story. So, okay.
Your heart bleeds for the chimps.
I love the chimps.
They're working their hearts out behind a curtain.
They're working their asses.
They're back there jumping on trampolines and on handlebars.
And the curtain's down.
And as soon as, you know, two minutes is up, the curtain rises.
And they only get one minute and then they bow.
And the scary thing is, is you don get one minute, and then they bow.
And the scary thing is, is you don't want to piss off a chimp.
Yeah, I guess. Because those are some vicious animals.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd rather be in a cage with lions than a chimp.
Chimps, I mean, oh, there were two stories.
One, a man who was totally mutilated by chimps that attacked him.
Was that his pet?
No, I think he was near some nature reserve.
Okay.
And then some woman.
Yes, and she was the first face transplant, right?
Yeah, that one was famous.
And the man, they said, they like bit off fingers and toes.
We've had guests that were attacked by chimps.
Yeah.
Andy Bonaduce was here
and he was attacked by a chimp on a sitcom.
And they said his genitals were mutilated.
So these are some mean, mean.
And Dick Miller bit a monkey
that he was doing a scene with
to show the monkey.
You know Dick Miller from all the Roger Corman movies?
You'd know him
if I showed him to you.
Oh, he's one of those
oh, that guy.
He's one of those
oh, that guy faces
that you'd know immediately.
But he was doing a scene
with a monkey
and had to bite the monkey.
He bit the monkey back.
What?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Don't work with chimps.
variety shows
like Ed Sullivan and stuff.
And Carol Burnett.
And, you know,
first of all,
there were like two channels on.
You had to watch that show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what was funny is you were forced to get a taste of other things.
And so you might want to watch a comedian or the monkey act.
Yeah.
And you didn't want to see the opera singer but you were forced to and then you
go okay that wasn't so terrible no not at all i completely agree with you you you never said i'm
gonna go and have a little snack and come back first of all you couldn't pause yeah and you
were kind of a captive audience you're absolutely absolutely right. Some acts were better than the other.
You know, I loved the guy twirling the plates.
Yeah.
He was one of my favorites.
And I love...
Señor Wences.
Señor Wences.
Yeah.
Love that.
But you'd watch some, like, opera singers and actors doing their dramatic thing.
And then you'd watch Kate Smith sing The Bear Came Over the Mountain.
And maybe it wasn't your cup of tea, but you just stuck with it.
But, yeah, you got a taste of it.
Yeah, I love it.
But even that night the Beatles were on in 64.
Yes.
You got Frank Gorshin.
Yes.
You got Mitzi McCall and Charlie Brill.
Alan and Rossi were all with the Beatles.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, there was Oliver.
Wayne and Schuster from Canada.
Wayne and Schuster.
I think they got to star in the Sullivan Show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wayne, nice reference.
Yeah.
Wayne and Schuster.
And you know,
they try to bring
a handful of times.
They've tried to bring back
variety.
Right.
And they just can't do it.
No.
Why do you think?
I don't know.
It's like,
now they make it camp.
They say,
oh, look at us.
We're doing a variety retro.
Or they'll do film pieces,
which is,
then it's like
Saturday Night Live, or i don't know snl
still kind of a variety show it is kind of a variety show you're absolutely right but not
but there was something very innocent and you knew that it was happening in the moment because it was
live you miss them don't you you said variety show i don't know if i'd have the patience to
sit through things that i didn't i don't really i heard you say you miss Kovacs and you miss the Gleason show.
I loved Ernie Kovacs.
Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca.
And Jackie Gleason.
They had wonderful acts on beautiful choreography.
Yeah, June Taylor dancers.
Yeah, June Taylor.
Wow, I am dating myself.
Dear God.
Let's talk about an influencer.
Come on here. Let's talk about an influencer. Come on here.
Let's talk about a kid that puts makeup on.
That's what this show is, Andrea.
These are our strange obsessions.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is what we talk about.
All right.
So tell us, you got...
What is your demographic, like 90?
We've had 10 90-year-olds on this show.
You've had what?
We've had 10 or 12 people on this show over 90.
Wait, that's amazing.
We had Larry Storch, Peter Marshall, Dick Miller, Roger Corman, Lee Grant.
Is Lee Grant 90?
Oh, she is.
We had Carl Reiner.
We had Norman Lear and Dick Van Dyke.
And Lee Grant's in love with me.
And Lee Grant has a little fixation for my partner over there.
You know what?
Could you be attracted to a 90-year-old woman?
Why not?
And that's funny.
With this show, sometimes we'll have guests that we think are like the young guests.
Like that's us appealing to the kids.
And these guests are in their 60s.
Yeah.
Well, it's a history show, Andrea, and the older people have the history.
Oh, okay.
What kind of history are you going to get out of interviewing a 30-year-old?
You mean you don't have any 30-year-olds you interview?
I think our youngest guest was Josh Groban.
Wait, that's phenomenal.
Josh Groban.
And Apatow.
Well, he's almost my age.
But who else was young that we had?
That's about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, usually if they're in their 60s.
We had the writer.
Did you see the movie The Disaster Artist?
Yeah.
Okay, we had the writer, Mike Weber, Michael Weber of that movie.
I love that movie. Yeah, he's talented. And that was, he's young. He's not even 40. Okay, we had the writer, Mike Weber, Michael Weber of that movie. I love that movie.
Yeah, he's talented.
And that was, he's young.
He's not even 40.
Okay.
So, but this show is.
I'm glad I have my own teeth.
I feel like I.
Tell us about what happened in Canada after you went up there with the boy.
The boy.
And.
I did Foxy Lady and Cannibal Girls.
And then I did Godspell with Gilda Radner and Marty Short, Eugene Levy.
Mr. Schaefer.
Paul Schaefer, Victor Garber.
And that was kind of our start and show business there.
And then I worked there for 18 years and then SCTV became a successful cult following
but enough to bring me to LA and I had two kids and raised them in LA and as soon as they
went to college I moved back to New York really which I prefer. Yeah tell us about auditioning
for Godspell too because it's a fun thing in the book. Yeah. Because it didn't go well at first.
auditioning for Godspell too because it's a fun thing in the book yeah because it didn't go well at first no and I was probably the only person that really had seen Godspell because I you know
I'm a big musical comedy fan and it's kind of a something why Godspell really isn't a musical
comedy I guess it is but it's not your typical musical comedy right so um I'd seen it in New
York I'd seen it in Boston and I'd seen it in Paris where I was living.
And I knew that it was a show that I could do.
She didn't have to really be skilled, really.
You didn't have to be a skilled singer or dancer.
But you had to have a personality and be a clown or kind of authentically, I don't know, energetic, I guess.
So I really desperately wanted the part.
It was like American Idol.
You know, gospel was everywhere.
They went around the world auditioning, every city.
Vienna, I had my Paris.
And I didn't get the part.
I didn't get it until, and I was devastated.
And I had friends that, Marty Short got the part, and Eugene, who I'd done Cannibal Girls with.
And Toronto was a small community, you know.
It wasn't like, you know, there weren't that many actors.
So it was devastating.
And then two weeks went by by or three weeks went by
and eugene called me and told me that the girl that was singing day by day was going to be fired
and they were going to have a party that night and the director was going to be there and he said
come to the party and just be your zany cool funny self and i bet you get cast and i did that i went
to the party and i guess i was funny. And I was cast.
So I opened in the legendary company of Godspell.
But I wish things were that easy.
Now, just go to a party and be funny and you'll be cast in a George Clooney film.
That would be fun.
And how did you go about being funny? I think I was just probably uninhibited and probably spontaneous and just authentic.
And when I'm really just being, when I was younger, I wasn't careful about, I wasn't thinking, how am I going to be?
I was just kind of out there.
And I had a larger than life personality.
It's tamer now gilbert the years
the years haven't been good to old andrea that's not true but um you know i just uh and i and i
wanted it and and you know i was probably ambitious and um and probably just out you know
entertaining and said you weren't good at other stuff than life. You said you weren't good at other stuff, too.
Larger than life.
You weren't good at skiing.
You weren't good at skating.
You weren't good at tennis.
But you knew comedy was something that could come to you.
I knew that laughter was something that I could have people do when I talked.
Yes, I thought that.
Gilbert, I've never asked you that question.
I assume you were not a big letterman in sports in school. And like
Andrea, when did you have, did you have it? No, I had some scholarships to be
played football. I didn't know that. Did you have a moment? Did you have
that epiphany,
that moment of I could be funny,
I could do this?
Well, I remember my first laugh is when I was a little kid.
I was either first grade
or maybe even kindergarten.
And no, even before that,
I remember what my first getting an excitement from the crowd
i was very shy yeah and i remember like the teacher i guess in kindergarten used to go
you know uh taylor here betty here or. And they don't do that.
And and then I remember my mother walking me to school and I said, I'm going to say here.
And I bet it's going to get a big reaction from everyone because they would always laugh.
She would go, Gilbert.
And I wouldn't say anything. And they would always the. She would go, Gilbert, and I wouldn't say anything.
And they would always, the kids would laugh at that.
And so I was ready, and the teacher said, Gilbert, and I went, here, and the place went wild.
That's amazing.
That's the first laugh.
That's the first documented laugh.
I've never gotten a laugh like that since.
Oh, my God.
Do you have a similar memory of this feels right, this feels good to me?
I remember when I was three, I think I had pneumonia, walking pneumonia it was called.
And I was at Mercy Hospital in Portland, Maine in a crib.
And I stood, maybe I was two and a half, and I stood up because there were other children.
And I stood up and I kind of was entertaining the kids. And I thought, wow,
I'm making people happy. That's nice. These kids who are sick and suffering.
I don't know.
I remember thinking it was a nice thing to do.
It wasn't so much I got a laugh,
but it was a way to connect and communicate.
Because your parents were not in show business.
Your father was a businessman.
Grocer, yeah.
My mom was.
And Gilbert's father ran a hardware store.
So there's no show biz roots here.
It's just whatever you guys
gleaned from television
and wanted to do it.
And I don't know jokes.
The only joke I know,
I actually can't tell jokes,
is about a hardware store.
A woman walks into a hardware store.
Do you know that joke?
I think I do.
I've heard you tell it.
Literally, literally, it's the only joke I know. Yeah, I think I know this joke. A woman walks into a hardware store. Do you know that joke? I think I do. I've said it literally.
Literally, it's the only joke I know.
Yeah, I think I know this joke.
A woman walks into a hardware store and she says, do you have a hinge?
And this is how I tell jokes.
I can't remember.
Then I have to stop.
This is why I don't do stand-up.
Okay.
She walks in.
She says, do you have a hinge?
And the guy behind the counter says, yes.
Would you like a screw for your hinge?
She says, no, but I'll blow you for the toaster in the corner.
Is that right?
Yes, yes.
Okay, but how would a real jokesmith tell it?
I want to hear how you would do it with confidence.
Basically, that's the joke.
Yeah, but how would you say it?
A woman walks into a hardware store,
and she says, I want to buy a hinge for a door.
And a man says, would you like a screw for the hinge?
No, but I'll blow you for the toaster.
Fantastic.
Word for word.
I think in the corner is better rhythm.
What?
I think that better rhythm is no, but I'll blow you for the toaster in the corner.
Yeah, that's good too.
And it has a cuss sound.
I remember a joke that ended with, and it's one of those punchlines, funnier than the joke, and I just love the sound of it.
And the punchline is, and the devil says, oh, yeah?
Wait till the Jews go by in their speedboats.
Wait a minute.
What's the joke about?
I love it.
And that to me, the joke itself, I don't find that funny, but that punchline.
That's great.
Oh, yeah.
Wait till the Jews come by in their speedboats.
Yes.
Hysterical.
This is a new bit for you.
You just go on stage and do the punchline.
Yeah.
Don't even do the setups.
That's fantastic.
Oh, my God.
And going back to your Jew obsession, your unnatural.
My first boyfriend was Mark Finks.
He was a Jew.
Oh, her first boyfriend.
Mark Finks.
Geez. Geez.
Yeah.
You really do have this Jew thing going.
I like a good Jew.
You enjoy Behar.
She says, give me a tall, skinny Jew.
Doesn't she have a partner?
Yeah, Steve Janowitz.
So you like a good Jew.
Yeah.
Which should be on your tombstone.
She liked a good Jew?
Yeah.
She liked a good Jew.
Yeah.
Wait, the best tombstone that I ever read was from a fabulous actress named,
how am I not going to remember this now what was she mary
louise wilson fabulous stage actress and she said she wants on her tombstone she is the best thing
in it oh wow good yeah yeah and i think i hope it's true, that Jack Lemmon's tombstone says, Jack Lemmon in.
Wow.
I think it does.
Merv Griffin says, I will not be right back after these messages.
No, are you serious?
Yes.
Yes.
No, wait.
I'll send it to you.
That's pretty cool.
I will not be right back.
After these messages.
Yeah.
That's so good. That's so good.
It's pretty good, isn't it?
Merv had a sense of humor.
By the way, I just pictured Rick Moranis doing Merv and the jacket lining.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.
What happens when 20 extremely athletic Canadians who thrive on competition
and won't settle for less than number one find themselves on a team?
Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing.
Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another.
It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge.
And sparks are are gonna fly.
New episodes Sundays.
Watch free on CBC Gem.
Okay, here I just found out something.
I heard that Jack, not Jack Clement,
Merv Griffin was roommates, I think, in New York.
It was Merv Griffin, Joel Grey, and Robert Clary.
Good Lord.
Yeah.
Okay.
You remember Robert Clary?
I don't.
He was the Frenchman on Hogan's Heroes, diminutive actor.
Okay.
I was watching variety shows. Okay, you weren't. She was watching the Marutive actor. Okay. I was watching variety shows.
Okay, you weren't.
She was watching the Marquis Chips show and Clyde Beattie and his lions.
You weren't watching enjoyable Nazi comedy shows.
Tell us how Godspell, and I know it's not a direct path, but how Godspell eventually led to Second City.
Because you did some other things.
You did Summer Stock.
You did theater.
You banged around
for a while.
I did a lot of
dinner theater.
What's a nice country
like you doing
in a place like this
or state like this?
I remember that show.
I was doing
a lot of theater,
really.
I was traveling
all around Canada
doing Anne of Green Gables
and Prince Edward Island
and, I don't know,
Chrysler Industrials
around the country with Marty Short and I was in Winnipeg doing Salvation. So, you know, I don't know, Chrysler Industrials around the country with Marty Short.
And I was in Winnipeg doing Salvation.
So, you know, I was in Canada, right?
So I was just doing a lot of legitimate theater.
And Gilda Radner was in Second City at the time.
And they were about to leave for Saturday Night Live, Dan Aykroyd and Gilda.
And so they were looking for women.
And I think I was doing What's Nice Country Like You doing in a state like this.
And Sheldon Patinkin, who was the director, came to see it and asked me if I wanted to audition.
And, you know, Toronto was, as I said, starting out small with a small theater community. And of course, I knew
everything about Second City. That was
kind of the in place to go at night.
And I thought,
oh, that's a great adventure and a challenge.
But I was petrified auditioning.
You were? Anyway, I did, yes. What did you audition
with? You had to audition
with five different characters.
You had to come through the door.
And I had no
character so i came one was had a limp one couldn't see well i don't know you know it was like that
just really bad choices that didn't take very much skill or imagination but again you know
very much like godspell um yeah i think you to, I don't know, my feeling about Second City or Improvise, there has to be some organic part of you that's funny.
It's hard to teach comedy, I think.
Those characters weren't born, I mean, Edna and Edith Prickley, they didn't come until later.
Edith Prickley came on didn't come until later. Edith Prickley came on stage.
Right, with Catherine.
Yeah, with Catherine.
But Edna Boyle, those other characters were written for SCTV.
Right, I mean to say you didn't have any characters.
You didn't have any characters.
You mean when I came to audition?
No, I told you, a limp.
I was maybe loud in one. I was maybe loud in one.
I was quiet as another person.
So you specialized in handicapped people.
That's it.
But they saw something.
So politically incorrect.
What is wrong?
They saw something, Andrea.
They did.
Well, I think that if you're funny or...
Right.
I don't know.
Who was in that company with you when you got in?
With me, John Candy, Eugene Levy, Joe Flaherty, Catherine O'Hara.
Murderer's Row.
Yeah.
And then SCTV came out of that.
Yeah.
And since we touched upon it, just tell the story of how Edith came to be because it's so much fun.
Oh, so, you know, we would bring in our costumes from the Salvation Army or Goodwill, and we'd put them backstage.
And sometimes we'd bring things from our own closets.
And Catherine O'Hara had brought in her mom's 1950s faux leopard jacket and hat that her mom didn't want to wear anymore.
1950s faux leopard jacket and hat that a mom didn't want to wear anymore.
And I saw it backstage there, and I saw some black glasses,
and there was some red lipstick,
and the suggestion from the audience was,
play a parent-teacher's after-school meeting, and your kids are all delinquent.
So I grabbed the leopard jacket and the leopard hat
and put on the glasses and put the red lipstick on,
and I think I had a black straight skirt on at the time.
And I came through the door and Catherine was a teacher.
And she said, seeing me, you must be Mrs. Prickly.
She gave me the name.
And I said, that's right, dear.
Prickly's a name.
Sebastian's a game.
And it just kind of.
That's fantastic.
It happens.
See, I love showbiz stories like that it's like it's a little it's
like chaplain the story of chaplain picking up the cane and the bowler well how did tell me about
that backstage yeah you know you just found the found the props and the little tramp came from
wow yeah piecemeal props just just we're just working things out on the fly i like the way
things are born like i think a lot of things on sctv were born like that i think um you know uh i people probably don't know this character but it was
a character on melville melonville calendar called yolanda de vilbis and i didn't really
have a character but the uh hair hairstylist judy cooper seely put a wig on me that I know who this kind of person is and then
the makeup artist said let's whiten your teeth and she put like almost like a typewriter white
stuff on my teeth and I looked just the white teeth made me um I informed the character so that she had a hard time talking i don't know why because she
just had white teeth but it made me feel that she was shy maybe because her teeth were so bright
and she didn't really want to open her mouth when she talked and it just kind of so just little
moments like that give you characters.
Of course.
And this brings me to a question from one of our listeners, Adam Dorn.
We do this thing called Grill the Guest.
Since you're on the subject of characters.
Wait, is this live?
No.
No.
We just do little shout outs to them.
He wants to know where Perini scleroso came from so perini came from um a scene that's
the only thing that we ever took from um a second city scene dan akroyd and uh valerie bromfield
did the scene at second city yes and she was um no way who was she was she the teacher and Danny was the student learning English?
And it came from them doing it on stage.
And then Catherine and I just ripped it off, I guess.
But yes, there was no Peruni Scorosi.
We made that name up.
Always loved that character.
The idea of the person learning English, right.
Tell us, as long as we're talking about Second City,
and I think we also should ask about Scorsese at some point,
and what's happening with this.
But we didn't get to this with Dave.
Tell us about John.
Tell us a little something about John Candy,
the late, great John Candy.
Yeah.
Who you were very fond of.
Yeah.
There was nobody that wasn't fond of John Candy,
and there's nobody still that wasn't fond of John Candy, and there's nobody still that
isn't fond of John Candy. People are still very emotional when they talk about John, particularly
men, grown men. John, I think, you know, Catherine Harris says this, and I think it's right, John
Candy is everything you thought that he was, he was.
There was no artifice about him.
And he would treat Prince Harry the same way as he'd treat the chef that was making the wedding cake.
How nice.
Yeah.
What a nice way to be remembered, that grown men get emotional remembering him.
Isn't that true?
He really touched.
He allowed them to be vulnerable, to feel.
It's a great gift.
You said he did everything in a big way.
He did do everything in a big way, yeah.
Every day was a celebration with John.
Nothing was subtle with him.
The way he ate and drank and partied. I don't mean to say that he was ever out of control,
but everything was robust and joyful and a celebration.
Two beautiful kids and a lovely wife.
We were just with each other last weekend,
Rose, his wife, and Jennifer and Chris,
because we were shooting a panel in Toronto
that is part of the documentary that Scorsese is directing.
I want to ask you about that in a second.
Gilbert, did you know John Candy?
No, never met John Candy.
Such a fan.
Yeah.
Such a fan.
Yeah.
And he could make you cry, too,
with a dramatic performance.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
Yeah, really underrated as an actor.
I bet.
Well, I don't know if he was underrated.
I think...
I mean, as a serious actor.
Yeah, but I think that the trajectory
is that he was on that path.
I think his career would have been limitless, really.
He was capable of doing anything.
You know, like Nathan Lane can make you laugh.
He can make you cry.
Love him.
Or Giulietta Messina, Fellini's wife.
Or Chaplin.
Or I don't know.
I think that's the biggest gift in the world.
Or Gilbert.
Yeah, Gilbert.
See if you can make me cry Gilbert
you certainly made me laugh that's for sure yeah what were you gonna ask Gil uh
I must have been something about the Jews tell us you were in Fiddler on the Room. I was. Yes. Yeah.
Do you love me?
Do I what?
I wish it had been that low.
It was sadly an octave higher.
I love that part.
That was a serious part, Golda.
I love that part.
Harvey Farr's theme was Tevye.
And I got to, oh my gosh, Sheldon Harnick, who wrote the lyrics for it.
I got to perform with him, and I was so intimidated.
Although he's the most gracious, wonderful man.
He's in his 90s.
I know, Sheldon Harnick, yeah.
He's beautiful.
He's got to live in the city.
He does.
He lives on Central Park West.
We'll invite him.
Yeah.
He's wonderful and a great storyteller.
I sang that song with him and I forgot his lyrics and improvised his lyrics while singing with him.
It was the most intimidating, the most devastating moment of my career.
I was so embarrassed.
I walked out afterwards and then I called him the next day and apologized.
But he's so gracious.
I think he might have said, I didn't notice.
That's not true, of course.
Everybody noticed,
because that song, everybody knows.
I would buy you and Fiddler on the Roof.
He thinks I'm kidding,
but he did a dramatic reading a couple of weeks ago in here.
You did a little Shakespeare.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, and you've never been cast in a single dramatic role?
No.
In all of your films?
No.
But I would buy you as the Fiddler,
the part Gino Conforti played?
Yeah. Maybe.
Well, Shakespeare, that's a great idea for you.
Would you ever want to do Shakespeare in the Park?
Well, it would have to be Shylock,
of course.
Not necessarily. What about The Fool and Lear?
Oh, that's true, too.
Yeah. No one knows
you have those chops. Yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting. Then maybe I can make
one of those real
pretentious films that comedians
wind up making. Like Jojo
Dancer, Your Life is Calling? Ah, yes!
Yes! Or when Gleason
played The Mute? Oh, yeah, G-Go.
G-Go. Directed by
Gene Kelly, of all people. Tell us
about Harold Ramis, too.
Another friend and another loss oh Harold
what a great loss oh I loved him so much
he wrote me
some of the funniest things I think
Connie Franklin
the world's most depressing singers
I'm losing my hearing
I've lost sight in one eye
I'm sorry I can't hear you.
Did you really say goodbye?
Mama.
The most depressing singer of her generation.
The most depressing singer of her generation.
He wrote me.
Right.
He wrote How to Fake an Orgasm, Dr. Cheryl Kinsey.
He was, oh my gosh.
And then he directed me in Club Paradise.
He was brilliant.
He was just a genius.
He could talk to you and do the New York Times crossword puzzle.
Amazing.
He was, and also a wonderful actor.
Yeah.
Kind and self-deprecating.
Really, really brilliant.
See him in a movie called Stealing Home?
Yes.
Yeah, where he plays a straight part.
Wait, no, wait.
I'm not sure about that.
With Mark Harmon.
I don't know.
He's the sidekick.
Yeah.
Okay.
Very good.
Are you sure that's not Steve Campman?
Steve Campman wrote it.
Okay.
I don't remember that.
But Harold played the friend.
And with this Martin Scorsese production, C. Campman wrote it, wrote and directed it, but Harold played the friend.
And with this Martin Scorsese production, it actually brought Rick Moranis, who's been saying no to everything.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah.
It was so exciting, really, because he hasn't been in the spotlight, hasn't been interested, raising his two now they're married or one's married one's getting married you know he hasn't skipped a beat
so we did this panel in toronto cameras everywhere and um jimmy kimmel moderated it and
rick came to life doing characters that he'd done 35 years ago, 40 years ago.
And I said to him afterwards, oh, my God, you were a visionary.
The world's really missed you.
And you haven't lost any of your comic timing or his specific character study.
It was amazing.
How nice.
I hope he works more.
Because I heard they wanted him back for like the female Ghostbusters.
Yes, I think he said no to it.
Yeah, and that would have been like five minutes of work.
Yeah, I know.
He picked up where he left off.
He really did.
Isn't that wonderful?
Yeah, it was great.
It was really fun.
And he was kind of the most comfortable on stage, I think.
It wasn't in his head, just really in the moment.
How did he feel about it afterwards?
I think he had a great time.
I think he had a really great time.
Good.
Yeah.
I thought it was very successful.
I can't imagine what he was feeling to be up there after all these years.
Yeah.
And it all flooding back to him.
I think he's very proud of the work he did.
He should be.
I don't know.
You know, I don't know what makes people tick,
but it was great to have him back.
Well, tell us your reaction when you heard that Scorsese,
had you known all these years that he was an SCTV fan?
No, I hadn't known at all.
That was a big surprise to you?
A huge surprise, yes.
Catherine knew because she'd done a movie with him.
After Hours, which I love.
Yeah. And I guess she knew then. But no, it was a A huge surprise, yes. Catherine knew because she'd done a movie with him. After Hours, which I love. Yeah, and I guess she knew then.
But no, it was a real huge surprise.
And then I was, wow.
They just picked up the phone and called you and they said that Martin Scorsese, of all people, wants to do this reunion.
Yeah, Martin Short told me, and Marty and I are very close.
And he said, yeah, Scorsese wants to direct it and said yes.
Marty Short called Marty Scorsese.
And Netflix said yes.
Ted Sarandos, who I met, was a lovely man who runs Netflix.
I don't know.
There are fans out there, you know, that we didn't.
You know, you don't really know what fans are out there
because we shot in Toronto without a live audience and a bubble.
And so.
The Patty Hearst analogy.
Yeah.
You said in the book.
Yes.
You were like, you were all in the SLA.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Simunese Liberation Army.
You were all locked away from the outside world.
All locked away, right.
Yeah.
And then we came out into the light and people,
but it does still feel surreal, I have to say.
People, wonderful, Tina Fey or Amy Poehler or Judd,
you know, people I've worked with in the last few years,
and Judd, when you hear them talk,
or Marty Scorsese, he knows every scene that we ever did.
That's wonderful. How the camera shot it, what angle it was. It's
extraordinary. Honestly, I'm very moved that what we did touched people in a positive way,
or maybe informed their careers. It feels very surreal. Yeah.
It's got to be rewarding to know.
And I love what you say in the book about,
and we'll get to this in a second,
we have something happening here.
But I love that you say in the book
that, you know, you'll always know each other.
You'll always be in each other's lives.
Yeah, it's absolutely true.
Because a family,
this is something that's unique to all of you,
something you all went through together.
Yes, and particularly for, you know, like Catherine,
I think it was the first thing that she'd ever done.
She was a really young girl.
And Joe Flaherty, you know, Joe, you know, Second City SCTV has been everything to him.
You know, he would teach at Second City.
He was kind of our mentor.
And John, of course, that loss.
Yes, we're all...
Look, so we hadn't all been together for years up until last weekend.
And Eugene and I had known each other for a long time.
We've worked together forever.
But we sat up on that stage and it was really like...
I mean, we were certainly reflective,
but the way we talked to each other is the way we talked to each other 40 years ago
and I think with this deep affection for everyone.
That's great.
And we've lived a long life, right?
Yes.
We've done many, many things in that life, but it was beautiful to see everybody.
Are you a fan of the show This Is Your Life?
Remember the show with Ralph Edwards where you would hear a disembodied voice?
Yeah.
What they would say?
Yes, why, who's here?
Frank?
Hi.
Yes, this is a disembodied voice from your past.
Paul! Paul Schaefer! What's going on?
Oh, my goodness.
Well, I thought it would be at least more of a question, of a mystery.
You got me right away.
There is nobody that sounds like you, for God's sakes.
Nobody.
Oh, well, I've got that horrible nasal voice.
Andrea, how are you?
Well, now I'm perfect since I'm hearing from you.
I'm Andrea Winter.
Paul, I miss you.
Are you going to come up to Marty's cottage this summer?
Oh, of course, of course.
Well, at least in the fall.
Wait, didn't we have fun in shuffleboard?
Oh, we always have fun.
Shuffleboard.
Paul made me sing.
It's time to start living from Pippin when we were all gathered.
All of our kids were gathered there.
I wouldn't do it for anybody but you, Paul.
Well, you are, of course, you won a Tony for your role in Pippin.
Have you guys been talking about Pippin at all?
The entire time.
And we've been talking about your obsession with Andrea's breasts.
Well, have you seen them?
Let's say that, you know, there is perfect and then there's perfect.
And this woman was perfect and still is.
But what was hilarious, of course, you know, let me back up.
You know, you've been talking about, and I just heard a little bit about the discussion about the SCTV reunion.
I can hardly wait.
Yeah.
And everything that I've heard about it is just so amazing.
And exactly what fans like me are going to want to see.
fans like me are going to want to see.
It's going to be a look in on what these kids did up there,
wherever they were, Saskatchewan or something.
Edmonton.
They had to go way out west in Canada for some reason and isolated themselves and made this show.
Yes.
Was that part of it, Andrea, how you had no distractions out there?
Yeah.
Did that help or hinder you? Oh, I think it was certainly
a help with the creativity or the
outpouring of material because we were each other's
audience and, you know, we were
fans of each other. We made each other laugh.
Yeah.
I don't think the show would have been successful, Paul, if we would have
had the pressure that you guys did on Saturday Night Live.
I don't think that we were those kinds
of people. I don't think that we really were
inherently...
I don't know. I guess there was a lot of naivety or innocence amongst
us. And obviously, when SNL started, that Gilda was, you know, a young girl and innocent, but I
don't know if, I don't know, I just think that you had to have much more, a bit bigger backbone or
ambition to be able to survive SNL and um i don't know if we
would have i don't know well you know everybody in the show what do you think well you certainly
created uh something for yourselves an environment in which to work which was undeniably successful
yeah you had your own little world and and your own little television station that you made up.
You created it and you live within it.
But what I was going to say is all those people that we all agree are still to this day the funniest.
When you're talking about Eugene Levy and Martin. Absolutely.
You know, and Dave Thomas.
And Catherine O'Hara, my God.
Are you kidding?
All geniuses.
I mean, if you see Schitt's Creek, that is such a brilliant, crazy show.
I just, you know.
But this is what I wanted to say with all due respect and excuse me for interrupting,
but it all came from this woman, Andrea Martin.
Get the hell out of here.
I was there, 1972.
She was the funniest thing any of us had ever seen.
In Godspell? Yes, in Godspell.
And she had us all
on the floor. You couldn't even
raise your hand up. You were laughing so hard.
And she taught them all how
to do it. Paul. I'm telling
you, Andrea, you showed everybody what
was funny. And I don't know where it came from.
You came from Maine.
And you brought something up with
you and everybody picked it up from you and I'm telling you, you are the root of it all.
Honey, all I have is this to say to you, baby.
That's right. I used to play Coach Andrea a little bit vocally.
She would come down to audition for New York shows because she wasn't American after all, you know. So she could cross the border and work in the States like none of us could at that time.
And I would help her prepare a number and then she'd come down and audition with it.
And she's referring to that great song by Arlene Smith and the Chantels, Maybe,
which I taught to her wrong.
Really?
I'm getting it all these years.
I didn't know it.
I'm embarrassed to say.
And I could barely read music,
and I read it wrong and taught it to her all wrong.
You're a genius.
You're a genius.
They must have laughed at you there.
Howard Fuhrer and his group must have laughed.
Oh, Howard Fuhrer.
You have the most meticulous memory.
I have a funny memory for things like that.
You're amazing.
I was going to mention people, you know, if I had to give you hints on This Is Your Life, I was going to say Marlene Smith.
Marlene Smith. Marlene Smith.
Moses Neimer.
Moses Neimer. You know, all still functioning.
Marlene just had Marty in to do an interview for the Canadian Theatre Museum.
And Moses Neimer has a classical radio station in Toronto that I listen to every morning.
This is not interesting to your listeners.
Don't be so sure.
All right.
Well, you know, I've been talking for an hour and a half.
It reminds me, Andrea, when you were, I mean, it may have been you were in between boyfriends.
What, Moses?
Moses was a boyfriend, and you were always breaking up.
And then there were periods of time where you were, you know, between guys, and you didn't like it.
And you would indicate to us, sort of indicating your nether regions. You know.
And you would say Dodge
City.
Absolute
tumbleweed a-blowin'.
You need a can of Pledge to get in there.
There's nobody else
like you. There's nobody like Andrea
Martin. Paul.
She is the funniest and most talented.
And I'm telling you, in Pippin, she sang while doing a trapeze act.
Oh, yes.
Talk about strength.
Yes.
Paul, why don't you and I go on the road together,
and we'll just talk about how much we love each other.
I'd like to see that show.
Mickey Rooney did it with his new wife.
God bless him.
Yeah.
That's right.
You'd be the new Joe Bologna and Renee Taylor.
You know what?
We'll be at the Carlisle Hotel.
It will cost everybody coming $700 for a piece of, you know, burger and a bun.
They'll listen to us talk and they'll go home.
All right.
I love you.
Give my love to Kathy.
Paul, you're the best.
Nice to hear you guys, Frank.
And, of course, Gilbert.
Gilbert.
Yes.
Well, I just say that to you.
You said that in the.
You've got to get off the air.
Oh, what's her name?
Valerie Bertinelli delivery.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
You tell everybody what that means.
That was in the Cindy Crawford skin commercials.
Yeah.
That Paul and I are major fans of. You are?
The commercials.
Meaningful Beauty.
We bonded over.
Meaningful Beauty.
Yes, yes.
That's it.
With Dr. Chavaz.
Well, he's too busy to come in.
We've got to see him by a satellite.
All right, you guys, have a good time.
Paul, thanks for doing this, buddy.
Bye, Paul.
Thank you so much. Love you, honey. Okay, you too. Our love to Kathy.
See you all soon. Bye-bye. Are you surprised? How did you make that work?
That's amazing. I told you, he called me out of the blue while I was reading your book yesterday,
and I said, this is kismet. Crazy. We have to do this. Oh, that's so lovely. He's so
generous and kind. I don't know what he's remembering. He's remembering
not how I remember it, but that's remembering. He's remembering not how I remember
it, but that's fabulous. Thank you. Speaking of Pippin, you have to tell Gilbert that story of
the trapeze, but why you had this fear of heights connected to what happened on Club Paradise.
Yeah. So Club Paradise, which was directed by Harold Ramis, we shot in Jamaica and I did my
own stunts in it. And I was in a parasail, and the rope broke that's connected to the boat,
and I was traumatized.
I couldn't go over bridges, and I was in Costa Rica with my sons,
and I was scared to go on the zip line there or whatever.
I was petrified. I was traumatized.
But I wanted to do this part so badly that I just thought about the character.
And I went to circus school and I learned how to have a partner on a trapeze.
And I was 15 feet above the stage.
And the terror went away when I was doing acting every night on stage.
But when I was rehearsing, I would think about the line breaking, and it was
a real act
of will to,
because I want to do it so badly. But you did it, and you
won a Tony for it. I did, yes.
See? Just goes to show you.
What does it show you?
That if you have a goal,
and you want it bad, the influencers.
The influencers.
You're bringing it back. I can see you and Paul in that show, and I can see you and Gilbert in a production of Fiddler.
In a road company of Fiddler.
Do you?
Ask me if I love you.
Yes.
Do you love me?
Do I what?
Do you love me?
Do I love me? Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married and there's trouble in the town.
You're upset.
You're worn out.
Go inside.
Go lie down.
You've made this so high.
Maybe it's...
All right, we have to go.
Maybe it's a suggestion.
I love that song. That's a great way to end. This is the best, Andrea. Maybe it's a suggestion. I love that song.
That's a great way to end.
This is the best, Andrea.
We've had a blast.
Thank you so much.
And we can keep asking you stuff.
We didn't ask you about Young Frankenstein and how you improvised in Seattle.
You got a line in.
I'll come back another time.
Come back another time.
Thank you, guys.
Okay, this has been...
Do more.
Yeah, this has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre.
And we've been talking to a woman whose biggest accomplishment is fucking Linus.
And she's still looking for a good shoe.
Ladies and gentlemen, Andrea Martin.
Let me plug the book before you get the hell out of here.
Oh, plug my book.
The book is called Lady Parts.
Yeah.
It's hilarious.
How do you not love a book that references both Senior Wences and the Nairobi Trio?
Thanks, guys.
It's touching.
It's funny. I expected to laugh. I didn't expect to be moved. Oh, thank you. It's so nice of you. Thanks, guys. It's touching. It's funny.
I expected to laugh.
I didn't expect to be moved.
Oh, thank you.
It's so nice of you.
And I was.
And the stuff about your mom is beautiful.
Thank you.
And it's just...
And also, Gilbert wrote a book, and you had similar experiences.
Uh-huh.
Because it was difficult.
Yeah, but I hated writing the book, and even worse, even worse than writing the book, they make you reread it to go through corrections on it.
It's impossible.
And I say, I don't want to read my stuff.
Oh, my God.
Because every time I'd read it, I'm like, I got to change this now.
This doesn't sound right.
Yes.
I know.
Yes.
But we publish them.
Yeah.
Good for us.
And I don't know
if you did it for yours.
They had me do...
An audiobook?
Yes.
No, you know,
I haven't done that.
Oh, I fucking hated that part.
Oh, yeah?
Was that hard?
Yeah, that was torture.
All right.
My new favorite guest.
Yeah.
Andrea Martin.
Thank you, Andrea. Thank you, Andrea.
Thank you, guys. I hope you had fun.
I did. From the world we're given, time to take time, for spring will turn to fall, in just no time at all.
Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre, with audio production by Frank Verderosa.
Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Thank you. get ready. Now I could waylay some aging roux and persuade him to play in some cranny.
But it's hard to believe I'm being led astray by a man who calls me granny. One, two, three, four.
It's time to start living. Time to take a little from the world
we're given
Time to take time
for spring will turn to fall
in just no time
at all
So when the drearies
do attack and a siege
of the sads begins
I throw these regal shoulders back and lift these noble
chins. Here is a secret I never have told. Maybe you'll understand why. I believe if I refuse to grow old, I can stay young till I die. Now I've known the fears of 66 years
I've had troubles and tears by the score
But the only thing I'd trade them for is 67 more. All right, one more time.
And this time, let's hear it from everybody. One, two, three, four.
Oh, it's time to start living
Time to take a little from the world we're given
Time to take time for strength
We're not at all
In just no time at all
Oh, it's time to keep living. Time to keep taking from the world you're given.
You are my time, so I'll throw off my shawl.
And watching your flings be flung all over makes me feel young all over
Ain't just, just no, no time at all